#communicate clearly and often with your partner
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That's not what Bury Your Gays is, either. Bury Your Gays is a narrative enforcement of punishing queer characters for their queer characters with death and preventing queer characters from having a happy ending that straight characters might.
For example, at the end of the anime version of Nabari no Ou, all the straight couples made it out intact and happy, but the intersex guy who was pretty textually emotionally attached to the male main character--dead, for no real reason (there were reasons, but they were narratively pretty hamfisted). One of the other clearly intended as queer characters? Dead, and his partner mourning and coming together with the dead guy's sister to properly live on. Pretty sure in fact that guy was left his inheritance, but I don't remember for certain.
But that series was also written by a queer person. Granted, the anime and manga end pretty differently, but as far as the anime is concerned? The clear distinction between how the M/F couples and the M/M couples made it out and which characters died and which characters got to have happy relationships is stark.
That's what Bury Your Gays Is. Even when the main characters are queer, if they die instead of having a happy ending, they're being Buried.
Historically, it was used a lot in queer romances at the very end when randomly one partner would suddenly engage in a heterosexual relationship and the other would be dead. Very often these were read by the queer community going in and kind of. Ignoring that bit.
This is because of things like the Hayes Code, etc. that would not allow queer characters to be portrayed positively or happily.
And of course it was also historically used by vicious homophobes who wanted to show that queer people deserved to die in their narrative.
Like, of course this trope has its issues.
But what this describes is Fridging, as in Stuffed in the Fridge, a horrific death for horror purpose and traumatize the main characters. Usually inflicted on women, but can be used for any marginalized character, really.
I'm convinced it was a tragedy that tumblr learned the phrase "bury your gays" at the exact same time it decided that any fictional media darker than Landlord White was pearl-clutchingly problematic. Pouring one out for every creator of earnest LGBT+ media wanting to explore the themes of grief loss and tragedy who then got subsequently hounded by mobs of terminally online users brainrotted on nothing but conflict-free coffee shop AUs.
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🐺 moon-moon4w00 Follow
Friendly reminder that asking your lycan partner to turn you is incredibly insensitive! Seriously can we retire this trope already? Not only is it just offensive, but no one would ever actually choose this life! Lycanthropy is a curse. Full stop.
🐾 superhowllock69 Follow
Ok user "moon-moon" as if that original meme wasn't created to mock pack nomenclature 🙄
Anyway I'm not gonna touch that internalized lycanphobia with a ten foot pole. Being turned by your partner is something that can be incredibly intimate as long as both parties are consenting and the one being turned is 100% sure they want it. Literally the only downside to transforming once a month is the pain, but midol works just fine. No one with these "lycanthropy bad" takes ever wants to discuss the legitimate positives that come with this "curse" lmao.
🐺 moon-moon4w00 Follow
I'm literally reclaiming moon moon but go off I guess. Anyways turning your partner is absolutely disgusting and morally reprehensible and anyone who does it should be muzzled permanently.
🌜 impawssible Follow
lmao my wife literally saved my life when she turned me but i guess she should be muzzled huh? we run through the woods hunting deer together and can each haul in groceries in one trip now, but nooo she's obviously a danger to society because she cares enough about me to help me when insurance wouldn't cover my medicine
also it was confirmed that the creator of that meme literally makes and sells silver bullets so if you still wanna use moon moon for yourself that certainly is a choice. source: (X)
🦴 pupperoni Follow
I love that instead of naming the more common benefits of lycanthropy, you mentioned that you and your wife can carry all the groceries in one trip. I think that's definitely a positive that gets overlooked far too often and I commend you for speaking your truth, sir
🌜 impawssible Follow
lol thanks but I'm a woman 😅
🦴 pupperoni Follow
🦇 count-fuckula Follow
Plus werewolf blood tastes way better and is as filling as 10 humans 👍
🐺 moon-moon4w00 Follow
Oh my GOD you vampblr freaks will just flock to anything. It clearly says "vamps DNI" in my bio!
🐾 superhowllock Follow
lmaoooo of course you're a vampire exclusionist
🌕 daddy-fenris Follow
wasn't OP the same guy who said fursuits were offensive to lycanthropes and doxxed a werewolf fursuiter?
🐺 moon-moon4w00 Follow
They ARE offensive and harmful to this community and I'm tired of pretending they're not. They perpetuate harmful depictions of what a humanoid wolf is actually like.
🌜 impawssible Follow
me when I dox someone for making candy colored animal costumes that look nothing like what a real werewolf does
🦴 pupperoni Follow
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🌕 daddy-fenris Follow
U
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Flufftober 2024 - 29 Eddie Brock / Venom
Y/N had met Vee during a Halloween party.
A little intimidated by the crowd and not knowing anyone, she had stayed in her corner for a good part of it, until this giant with his incredible costume came to talk to her.
It would be a lie to say that she had not found him adorably charming, and she would have liked them to be more than friends, if he had not spent most of the time talking to her about his Eddie.
It was obvious that there was something strong and unique between Vee and this Eddie, even if he did not seem to appreciate him at his true value.
"He never agrees with me… He wants to control everything !" he had sobbed against her shoulder. "He says that I won't even be good at cleaning toilets."
"That's not nice. Maybe this relationship is not very healthy."
"But I love Eddie. He takes care of me and even though he's a stupid loser, he tries a lot. Maybe… Maybe I'm too hard on him."
"It's normal to have expectations from your partner. You need to sit down and communicate, to see what's wrong and find solutions."
"You're right, little morsel ! You're a good friend !"
Obviously very busy, Vee kept in touch with her by calling her almost every night and sending her messages, but never having time to see her.
He used Eddie's phone, while he slept. Before meeting her, Vee had never seen the point of having one, and he contacted her secretly because he found it funny to have a secret all to himself.
"But I'll tell him at some point, because we share everything. We're in symbiosis, we're one."
"That's cute. Do you think he'll be angry ?"
"No. Scared maybe."
"Oh." she wondered. "Is he the jealous type ? He'll be afraid that I'll steal you from him ?"
"I'd rather be afraid that he'll steal you from me, I think he'll love you a lot. And that's why he'll be afraid for you. He'll think I want to eat your brain."
Sometimes she didn't understand everything he said, but she found him funny and considered that he simply had a particular sense of humor.
But after several months of talking to him, he finally ended up running into him while a guy was trying to take her purse in an alley.
Vee jumped from a rooftop, growled at the thief, grabbing him with one hand, before biting his head off. Then he turned to Y/N, smiling.
"Eddie, she's my friend."
"Y/N ?" a voice that seemed to come from inside him asked. "Great, Vee, she's not going to freak out at all because you just killed someone. I already told you to go get some chickens if you were hungry."
"You never let me do anything ! He was mean ! He was attacking my Y/N !"
"Let me talk to her, okay ? So I don't traumatize her more than necessary."
In the end, Venom was an alien, and Eddie his host, a man not as horrible as she had imagined, simply trying to keep his symbiote from doing too much mischief so that they wouldn't be spotted by the government.
They fought often but they couldn't live without each other. Literally for Venom, even if they also loved each other too much to want to be apart.
As he had expected, the human had panicked a bit when he learned that he had a friend, that she didn't really know what he was, and that they were therefore putting her in danger just by talking to her. But Eddie had understood that she was important. He had felt it.
When Vee said that they shared everything, he was dead serious.
"I showed him a picture of you. He got an erection."
"Vee !" Eddie shouted, trying to silence the head floating next to his shoulder. "Shut up ! Those are not things to say ! Excuse him."
"Why ? I like Y/N, and you like her too, and she likes us. Her pheromones don't lie."
"Vee ! You're making everyone uncomfortable, stop."
"See ? He never agrees, he controls everything."
Y/N saw clearly, now understanding many things that had seemed a bit strange to her. She could have run away, but despite this surprising discovery, she really liked Vee, and Eddie seemed as charming as he was.
So she suggested that they spend the next Halloween, all together this time.
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About how men rape women with “consent”
This post is not mine, but one radfem woman from our community. She works as a sexologist and shared her experience in her work. If you too are a sexologist, or even better, have some statistics on this topic, please share your experiences or links. ---------------------------------------------------------- "When I first started working, I discovered that many men had never experienced the need to refuse intimacy with a regular partner. That is, a man in counseling complains that his partner often refuses him, he attributes her refusals to personal dislike and faded feelings, and when he tries to turn the situation around and remember when he himself had to refuse her, he does not understand what we are talking about. Because he has never had to - he responds to the initiative of his partner every time and considers it a sign of love and attraction on his part.
I heard this very often, I couldn't catch the lie and at the same time I couldn't interpret it. They are not robots, after all, to be available 24/7 at all hours of the day and night?
One day a client in a session literally opened my eyes with one phrase.
She said: “I CAN SEE WHEN HE'S NOT UP TO IT.”
That's the secret. The notorious emotional service. Subsequently, and many other women have confirmed this in a targeted survey: when the desire for intimacy arises, a woman assesses her partner's condition BEFORE taking the initiative. If she sees that her partner is tired, sick, in a bad mood, or preoccupied with something, she does not consider it appropriate to offer sex. I have also heard from many women that in a situation when she can not clearly assess the state of the partner, she prefers to flirt, as if casually get naked, as if accidentally do something that usually arouses the partner. If there is no reaction to this, the woman usually refuses to take the initiative and solves her problems on her own, without forcing the partner to conflict and feel guilty.
Men don't want their partners all the time - it's just that no one gets in their underwear when it's inappropriate. No one forces them to think about sex when they don't want to think about it.
Men themselves don't usually check against anything but their own erections.
They don't care when to offer sex to a woman(the following is a real and far from complete list):
Who is asleep (well, seriously, I don't know any woman who would ever think of waking up a sleeping partner to satisfy her sexually);
who's back from her 24-hour shift;
who just finished cooking a holiday dinner for ten people;
who has a high fever;
who's been vomiting all day;
who is eight months pregnant with a complicated pregnancy;
who has undergone a termination of pregnancy that day;
who is in the terminal stages of cancer;
who's just had a pet die;
returning from the funeral of a beloved grandmother;
waiting for a call from the NICU where their (mutual!) child is (“Let's get a little loose while we wait”) - and so on and so forth.
It may seem like it's a matter of cognitive distortion, that they just don't get it….. But they do. I asked one of them once: does he really think that a person in such a state can want sex? Yes, it is clear that they don't want to, he replied, but I'm just in case - maybe it will work out. I asked him how he would react if it didn't work out, and he admitted that he would be hurt and angry. And that's another “secret” - why it does burn out. Because refusal will inevitably lead to conflict, and a woman often does not have the strength not only for sex, but also for an argument. When he offered sex, she basically can not get out of the situation without damage - either to be raped, or to deal with his tantrums and offenses. And unfortunately, sometimes the first one turns out to be the lesser harm."
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✮⋆ 𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗨𝗦 𝗢𝗕𝗦𝗘𝗥𝗩𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦 🦋
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ♈︎ 𝗔𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗦 𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗨𝗦
Aries Venus is a very passionate placement, as Aries is the sign of passion and action, while Venus is associated with love, beauty, and relationship. Someone with this placement likely has a very fiery and intense approach to romance and relationships. They are likely to be very passionate and enthusiastic about their partner, and they may have a strong desire to make their relationship exciting and fresh. They may also be very willing to take the lead and to be the one to initiate and take action.
⠀⠀⠀🦋 𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗢 𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧
⋆ Be spontaneous and adventurous.
⋆ Make an effort to keep the relationship interesting.
⋆ Take the lead and initiate adventures.
๋⋆ Show off your passionate side.
⋆ Express your desires and emotions clearly.
⋆ Be willing to take risks for love.
⋆ Show off your confidence and self-esteem.
⋆ Be willing to take the first step in a relationship.
⠀⠀⠀⠀♉︎ 𝗧𝗔𝗨𝗥𝗨𝗦 𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗨𝗦
Venus in Taurus is known for its strong sense of security, stability, and comfort. People with their Venus in Taurus typically enjoy taking time to appreciate the finer things in life and may find joy in material possessions and pleasures. They are often described as "old-fashioned" in their approach to relationships and values. They may seek commitment and stability in their romantic relationships and prefer a more traditional set of values when it comes to romance.
⠀⠀⠀🦋 𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗢 𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧
⋆ Show your interest and affection through small actions and words.
⋆ Give the Taurus Venus attention and allow them to feel heard by asking open-ended questions and focusing on them.
⋆ Be patient, consistent, and respectful in your actions towards them.
⋆ Make time for them and demonstrate that you are willing to put in effort.
⋆ Be honest and communicate your feelings and thoughts clearly and respectfully.
⠀⠀⠀⠀♊︎ 𝗚𝗘𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗜 𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗨𝗦
Gemini Venus is known for being a playful, lighthearted, and mischievous placement that adds a spark of fun and excitement to a person's romantic relationships. People with this placement seek out romantic interests who can match their energy and keep up with their witty banter. They may have a tendency to get bored in relationships and love to flirt, so someone who can keep them engaged and entertained is key to winning their affection. However, despite their flirtatious nature, they still enjoy a strong connection and are seeking a partner who they can have deep conversations with as well.
⠀⠀⠀🦋 𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗢 𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧
⋆ Be yourself and show your unique personality.
⋆ Make them laugh and keep the conversation light and fun.
⋆ Be spontaneous and try new things together.
⋆ Give them space to express themself and let them know they can trust you.
⋆ Don't take their flirtatious nature too seriously... they may just be having fun.
If you are able to capture their attention with your unique personality and keep them engaged, you may have a chance with someone with a Gemini Venus.
⠀⠀⠀⠀♋︎ 𝗖𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘𝗥 𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗨𝗦
Cancer Venus is known for being emotionally expressive, caring, and sensitive in relationships. People with their Venus in Cancer can be very nurturing and tend to wear their heart on their sleeve. They may crave affection and emotional security, so someone who is understanding and supportive can go a long way in gaining their affection. On the other hand, people with this placement may also struggle with being possessive and overly sensitive towards their partner's actions or words. Ultimately, communication and empathy is key in forming a strong connection with someone who has their Venus in Cancer.
⠀⠀⠀🦋 𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗢 𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧
⋆ Show compassion and empathy towards their feelings.
⋆ Be understanding and emotionally supportive.
⋆ Create an environment where they can express themselves freely and feel safe.
⋆ Be nurturing and give the comfort they seek.
⋆ Build a strong connection with them through open communication.
⋆ Make them feel loved and appreciated.
⋆ Be genuine and honest with them.
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ♌︎ 𝗟𝗘𝗢 𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗨𝗦
Leo Venus is described as a passionate, creative, confident, and dramatic placement. People with a Venus in Leo seek out romantic partners who are self-assured and can bring out their artistic side. They may crave a strong physical connection and are often drawn to confident, charismatic partners who can keep up with their fiery personality. They also appreciate the finer things in life and may enjoy luxury or extravagant gestures. However, their passionate nature can also lead to being possessive or jealous in relationships, so communication and trust is key.
⠀⠀⠀🦋 𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗢 𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧
⋆ Display your confidence and take the lead.
⋆ Show your artistic side through creative dates or gestures.
⋆ Be fun and daring, and don't be afraid to take risks in your romantic interactions.
⋆ Be honest and complimentary, and make sure they feel admired and appreciated.
⋆ Be willing to receive their lavish gestures of affection and don't be afraid to show off a little.
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ♍︎ 𝗩𝗜𝗥𝗚𝗢 𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗨𝗦
A Virgo Venus is described as analytical, detail-oriented, and practical in relationships. They may be a bit reserved and prefer to take things slowly and be mindful in their romantic interactions. They tend to value efficiency and may be more objective, logical, and nitpicky when it comes to relationships. However, they also appreciate order and structure and desire a partner who can provide that. They may be more selective and picky when it comes to romantic partners, but once they find the right person, they can be loyal, devoted, and caring.
⠀⠀⠀🦋 𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗢 𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧
⋆ Make them feel heard and understood, and be mindful of the details.
⋆ Be honest and logical in your interaction and don't be afraid to communicate directly.
⋆ Be organized and methodical in how you approach the relationship.
⋆ Don't be afraid to ask follow-up questions and show curiosity and interest in them.
⋆ Demonstrate that you can provide stability, order, and structure in a relationship.
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ♎︎ 𝗟𝗜𝗕𝗥𝗔 𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗨𝗦
Libra Venus is characterized by diplomacy, balance, harmony, and fairness. Those with this placement tend to seek out relationships that are equal in nature, with both sides contributing and working together. They may have an idealistic view of relationships, tending to believe in true love and romance. They may seek a partner who is well-rounded, attractive, and charming, and who can engage in deep conversations and understand the value of compromise. They tend to enjoy relationships where everyone can get along and have a peaceful connection.
⠀⠀⠀🦋 𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗢 𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧
⋆ Be diplomatic and show your ability to keep it balanced and fair.
⋆ Be charming, courteous, and considerate towards them.
⋆ Don't be too aggressive or overpowering in your approaches towards them, as this can be a turn-off.
⋆ Show that you are willing to compromise and see things from their point of view.
⋆ Demonstrate emotional maturity and be willing to express your feelings in a respectful manner.
⠀⠀⠀⠀♏︎ 𝗦𝗖𝗢𝗥𝗣𝗜𝗢 𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗨𝗦
A Scorpio Venus is characterized by a deep and intense approach to relationships. People with this placement may have emotional walls up, making it challenging for them to open up and be vulnerable. They may have a darker side or be attracted to the hidden depths on others. They may have a strong intuitive nature, seek out deep and meaningful connections, and crave intimacy and trust. They may have high standards and expectations when it comes to relationships and expect their partners to match their intensity and be willing to explore deep levels of trust.
⠀⠀⠀🦋 𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗢 𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧
⋆ Be honest and genuine in your interactions and show them that you can go deep.
⋆ Be open to exploring darker sides and don't shy away from more taboo subjects.
⋆ Show that you can be trustworthy and keep their secrets.
⋆ Demonstrate your passion and commitment and be willing to put in effort.
⋆ Let them know that their emotions are safe with you and make them feel seen and understood.
⠀⠀⠀♐︎ 𝗦𝗔𝗚𝗜𝗧𝗧𝗔𝗥𝗜𝗨𝗦 𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗨𝗦
A Sagittarius Venus is known for having a free-spirited, adventurous, and flexible approach to relationships. People with this placement may have a tendency to avoid commitment and prefer to explore and try new things. They may crave freedom and independence and may have a hard time settling down. However, they can also bring a zest and excitement to relationships and thrive in exciting and stimulating environments. They may prefer casual relationships with a lack of limitations but can still have serious long-standing relationships if their needs are met.
⠀⠀⠀🦋 𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗢 𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧
⋆ Be spontaneous and willing to try new things.
⋆ Show your adventurous and playful side, and be open to exploring and new experiences.
⋆ Don't be too clingy or controlling, as they prefer their freedom and can be more independent.
⋆ Be honest and upfront in your communication and don't be afraid to be straightforward.
⋆ Demonstrate your sense of humor and have a fun-loving attitude that matches their spirit.
⠀⠀⠀♑︎ 𝗖𝗔𝗣𝗥𝗜𝗖𝗢𝗥𝗡 𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗨𝗦
Capricorn Venus is described as a responsible, practical, and loyal placement, seeking commitment and stability in relationships. People with this placement may be more reserved and may have high standards when it comes to selecting a partner. They may take things slowly and prefer to establish a solid foundation before committing to someone. They may require time to open up and express their emotions, but once they trust someone, they can be loyal and devoted partners who prioritize their relationship.
⠀⠀⠀🦋 𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗢 𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧
⋆ Be reliable, responsible, and trustworthy.
⋆ Demonstrate your ability to be practical and realistic in your interactions.
⋆ Respect their need for space and alone time.
⋆ Be open to committing and showing loyalty.
⋆ Show that you can take the relationship seriously and want something long-lasting and stable.
⠀⠀⠀⠀♒︎ 𝗔𝗤𝗨𝗔𝗥𝗜𝗨𝗦 𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗨𝗦
Aquarius Venus is characterized by a unique and innovative approach to relationships. They may prefer unconventional partners and seek out connections that are dynamic and stimulating. They may not fit into traditional relationship structures or dynamics and may be attracted to more progressive thinking and ideas. They may prefer to explore deeper connections and be attracted to someone who can match their independent and unique vibe. Ultimately, they will thrive with someone who is open-minded and can embrace their unorthodox nature.
⠀⠀⠀🦋 𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗢 𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧
⋆ Be open-minded and non-judgmental in your interactions.
⋆ Respect their need for independence and autonomy.
⋆ Allow them to express themself freely and don't try to control or limit them in any way.
⋆ Show your ability to keep up with their innovative and unorthodox nature.
⋆ Be willing to explore their unconventional thinking and ideas.
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ♓︎ 𝗣𝗜𝗦𝗖𝗘𝗦 𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗨𝗦
Pisces Venus is characterized by a sensitive and compassionate approach to relationships. People with this placement may have a tendency to romanticize their relationships and can be very forgiving and accepting of their partners' flaws. They may have a strong connection to their spirituality and have a heightened intuition about others. They may be empathic and perceptive, easily sensing someone's emotions. They may tend to get lost in their feelings and desire deep connections, but they may also get overwhelmed by their emotions or their partners' feelings.
⠀⠀⠀🦋 𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗢 𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧
⋆ Be compassionate and empathetic in your interactions.
⋆ Recognize their sensitivity and allow them to express their feelings freely without judgment.
⋆ Show that you can be reliable and trustworthy, and respect their need for depth and a sense of spiritual connection.
⋆ Be patient, understanding, and open-minded when it comes to their emotions.
⋆ Be a good listener and let them know that you understand and accept them for who they are.
#astrology#zodiac#astrology observations#zodiac signs#venus signs#aries venus#taurus venus#gemini venus#cancer venus#leo venus#virgo venus#libra venus#scorpio venus#sagittarius venus#capricorn venus#aquarius venus#pisces venus
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Synastry and composite chart notes 💗 part 2
🍁For entertainment purposes only, enjoy my lovelies 🍁
✩ MASTERLIST
✩ synastry and Composite part 1
Long post ahead!! I am tired 😭but that's okay .
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✨ Lilith conjunct Neptune in Capricorn in 5th house-
- This relationship may have idealistic and dreamy romantic quality to it. Neptune person could idealize or glamorize Lilith person, which could lead to intense attraction.
- there is a strong creation energy to it. Together you both can create amazing things. The creative collaboration could result in projects that feel deeply meaningful and transformative.
- with Neptune's influence here, this connection might have a spiritual or mystical dimension. You both could involve in spiritual practices.
- but this aspect also can bring up issues , like unrealistic expectations . So you both have to handle with clear communication and mutual understanding.
✨ Moon in 8th house synastry -
- you may find that you can talk about intimate feelings more easily with this person.
- moon person might help the house person to face emotional challenges or personal growth(8th house) .
- you may feel that this person knows on a very personal level.
- in this case emotional bond can be very intense , which can lead to strong feelings for each other. You could explore each other secrets too.
✨ Moon opposite mars in synastry -
- this placement can bring about emotional disagreements or clashes. You might find that your emotional needs and reactions are often at odds with each other actions.
- in this case balance is very important . Balance between emotional expression ( moon's influence) and assertive actions.( Mar's influence).
- but despite the tension there is strong passion . This could become a energetic and vibrant connection.
- the opposite nature of this placements could adress the underlying issues. , Which can lead to significant personal growth. You need to understand each other needs . Communication is must. Every relationship has problems, you just need to solve those problems together. All the best.
✨ Mars in 8th house synastry -
- Strong magnetic attraction between partners. This connection goes beyond the surface level interactions. There is a deep emotional and physical bonding.
- Also there is often a compelling desire to explore each other's needs and fantasies , making the intimate connection highly dynamic and satisfying.
- Also mars here can mean that partners may share or discover deep personal secrets of each other.
-8th house represents transformation . This relationship might push both partners to confront and work through deep seated issues and fears, which can lead to personal growth. Also effective communication and a willingness to adress underlying issues is important.
✨ Mars 12th house synastry -
- mars person could help the house person confront their inner fears and work through their subconscious issues.
- mars person might stimulate 12th house person's private passions and desires. 12th house person feels like they are safe enough to explore and express their innermost thoughts and feelings.
- but their might be unspoken feelings / subconscious conflicts which is kinda hidden from one another.. one or both of them feel like the other person often engaging in secretive behaviour. So communicate clearly with your person. It will clear misunderstandings.
- on a positive note, there might be a strong shared interest in creative pursuits. Also spirituality is another side of this relationship which will heal both.
✨ Venus 12th house double whammy -
- this relationship might inspire both partners to explore spiritual and creativity side ( as in 12th house ). Also this connection may feel like a Karmic connection or they can feel like they know each other from their past lives.
- you both might collaborate with each other in any artistic pursuits. You guys can create amazing art. ( As Venus is beauty , charm , art and 12th house also influence artistic side). Both partners may experience a deep almost otherworldly emotional bond.
- also both partners might want to express their love in private, this can include small gestures and behind the scenes act of kindness. Both are protective of each other's personal space and emotions.
-its very important to remain grounded in this connection as 12th house influence can create illusion , which can lead to unrealistic expectations. So communicate openly to avoid misunderstandings.
✨Saturn trine Uranus in synastry-
- Here, Saturn's stability allows Uranus persons urge for change and growth to flourish. Trine aspect can indicate changes can be integrated smoothly.
- also there's a respect for differences in this relationship. Saturn person's discipline and Uranus person's need for freedom can coexist beautifully with out any conflict or misunderstanding. Both partners express their individuality while maintaining the strong beautiful connection.
✨ Northnode conjunct mars in synastry -
- the mars person may naturally take on the leadership role in the relationship which can motivate northnode person to make bold actions towards their goals.
- Northnode person sense of purpose can provide direction and meaning to Mars efforts.
- this relationship might feel like fated or destined ( northnode influence) .
✨ Male's mentor asteroid conjunct female's child asteroid in synastry -
- this is self explanatory. The male partner could provide support or guidance in a way that touches the female's inner child or her approach to personal growth.
- he could motivate her through continuous encouragement or by creating an environment where she feels free to explore her child like qualities, her main goal , creativity etc.
- the female feels the man provides her a safe place whom she can count on.
✨person A's Moon and Lilith in Person B's 1st house synastry -
- person B might feel a deep emotional connection or sensitivity to person A's presence. Person B also very protective of person A . People might see person B as more emotionally expressive or vulnerable when person A is around.
- person B also experience primal reaction in response to person A. Person B could be pushed to confront aspects of their personality they hadn't fully addressed before.
✨ Vesta in 8th house synastry -
- both might find themselves exploring sacred or taboo aspects of life/ hidden aspects of their relationship.
- Vesta person may serve as a catalyst for transformation in the 8th house person's life.
-also there is a potential for intense commitment . Emotional intimacy and mutual support is seen here.
✨ Vesta in 3rd house synastry -
- both partners may be deeply invested in the quality of their conversations , valuing meaningful and focused discussion.
- Vesta person could be very supportive of the 3rd house person's communication style and thought process, which helps the house person feel more confident in their self expression.
- you guys might have same hobbies - like writing, media technologies etc.
✨ Destinn asteroid/ Vertex/ northnode conjunct Briede in synastry -
- destined to be with this person in this lifetime. Strong potential for deep commitment within this relationship. You both may feel that this union is spiritually aligned. The partners may find that they work well together in practical matters too such as finances, work or family planning.
✨ Lilith in 12th house synastry -
- there's a strong fascination and desire to understand or uncover hidden layers of Lilith person by house person as Lilith person charisma often attracts the 12th house person.
- 12th house person may find themselves confronting hidden or suppressed aspects of themselves through the Lilith person.
- Lilith person often act as a catalyst for 12th house person to face their shadow side or adress unresolved issues.
✨Nessus conjunct sun synastry -
- sun person may experience a deepening of self awareness and pushed to heal the old wounds related to power dynamics.
- sun person often feel like they are kinda exposed to the Nessus person in terms of dominance and control. On the other side Nessus person may feel like their influence over the sun person is very profound or significant.
-this aspect can uncover the hidden issues from the past . At first it may seem uncomfortable but this could lead to healing and greater understanding.
-clear communication is very important to solve any misunderstanding.
✨ Venus square ascendant synastry -
- the Venus person may find the ascendant person's visual and manners very attractive and charming but they often feel like their own preferences or values are not truly appreciated. So it can create a push- pull dynamic between them. ( Mainly from Venus person's side).
- this aspect can create conflict..like disagreements over style, social behaviour or how to approach certain life aspects.
- the ascendant person may feel like they are constantly judged by the Venus person. They may feel like they need to adjust certain aspects of them , like how they present in the relationship.
- here balance is needed . You have to learn how to negotiate every situation and a little bit compromise can lead to a beautiful relationship.
✨ Vertex conjunct synastry - always fated or not?
- vetex is often associated with fated encounters and a significant turning points of one's life . Northnode is one's life path and destiny. I mean yeah when this two points conjunct in a synastry chart , it can suggest that the relationship is likely to be important and may play a significant role in both individuals life. If anyone's telling you that yeah it's 100% fated in astrology...then bro just run... That's not true.. ofcourse it's a important conjunction, I have seen in many couples..but how the relationship unfolds is influenced by the choices and actions of both individuals. Free will is all that matters.
✨ Aquarius rising with Uranus in 1st house composite chart -
- with this placement 1st thing my mind says that people might view this couples as trendsetters . This relationship might create an immediate striking impression on others. Often this couple might host some unique events or participate in unusual social circle. So people often thinks that couples are open minded and possess forward thinking qualities.
- their habits and interests might be very different from other couples. So their relationship often standout to others. They might challenge traditional relationship roles and norms. A rebellious couple. Collaboration in creative or social Ventures is another point in this relationship. Also both can be from different countries.
✨ Moon conjunct northnode double whammy -
- there's a remarkable level of emotional synchronicity between the partners. Its easy for them to connect on a Deeper level . They feel like this relationship meant to help both partners grow in alignment with their life purposes.
- this can feel like a Karmic connection, where the relationship feels like a continuation of past life experiences or lessons that need to be addressed in this lifetime . But They could work through significant emotional issues together. They might find themselves instinctively knowing how to support each other in the difficult times.
✨ person A's sappho and cupid asteroid person B's moon in synastry -
- person A may evoke deep feelings and desires in person B , which can lead to a strong romantic connection. Also this connection might help person B feel more deeply understood and appreciated on a deep emotional level. The partners often discuss about intimacy, romance and emotional fulfillment.
- on other side , person A's deep affection can make person B feel deeply valued. There's a strong sexual attraction too ( sappho's Influence). This can also help both partners to sooth past emotional wounds.
✨Libra rising/sun/juno in composite chart-
- I have seen this placement in many married couples chart. This relationship is stable and peaceful. You may both work hard to avoid conflicts. You guys always seeks harmonious environment around you.
- as Libra ruled by Venus you guys could be concerned with maintaining a positive public image and might put effort presenting your relationship in a way that appears ideal and harmonious. Also both of you have similar interests in art , culture and aesthetic pursuits.
- just don't depend on each other too much. Decision making should be a joint effort.
✨9th house/ Sagittarius stellium in composite chart -
- this relationship is all about personal and intellectual growth. You might inspire each other to pursue higher education and engage in continuous learning or explore many different areas.
- hmm yeah also one or both partners might take on roles as teachers , mentor or guides in the relationship. You guys both inclined too focus on broad , philosophical topics.
- there could be a strong inclination towards travel and exploring together. Or it you guys may speak different languages. Learning each other cultures is also highlighted here.
✨ Gemini/ 3rd house stellium in composite chart -
- this relationship may have a strong sense of humour and playfulness. You guys might bond over witty conversations , jokes, and a light hearted approach to life challenges.
- this aspect also talks about networking and connections. You guys might work together or could find yourselves frequently interacting with a diverse range of people and involved in various social circles.
-communication is highlighted here , but if misunderstandings happens then it's important to ensure clarity and avoid assumptions to prevent unnecessary conflicts.
✨ Moon, juno and northnode all conjunct each other in composite chart -
- this combination can indicate a partnership where both individuals support each other's personal development and emotional needs. This also suggest a connection that feels so fated, you both might experience a sense of having met for a reason, as if your paths are meant to cross each other.
- there's a stable long term commitment in this relationship, where you both might focus on building a stable partnership.( Northnode is destiny, moon in emotional connection and juno is a commitment asteroid).
- this connection might challenge and inspire you to evolve and embrace new direction of life.
✨ Saturn conjunct moon in synastry -
- here saturn person may act as a mentor or guide to the moon person. Moon person might benefit from saturn person's wisdom and experience. Most of the cases Saturn person is older than the moon person ( not always).
- as Saturn represents stability, so this relationship might offer a secure grounded environment where emotion needs are addressed in a practical or reliable manner. But sometimes moon person might feel restricted or burdened by saturn person's seriousness or sense of duty.
- this ensures a long term commitment . This relationship might be enduring and focused on building a solid foundation.
- sometimes saturn person's approach may come of as too controlling or overly critical to the moon person, so it's important to adress any feelings or emotional suppression or dissatisfaction that might arise.
✨ Venus, mercury, Saturn, moon all conjunct in 11th house of composite chart-
- the partnership might evolve working together on projects or causes that require persistence and dedication. You guys are so serious in achieving your shared dreams and goals.
- with mercury and Saturn , communication in this relationship might be very engaging, well organised and purposeful. This could mean that discussions are practical, thoughtful, and planning for future.
-with moon here, partners may need to find a balance between their personal, emotional needs and their commitments to social or communal responsibilities.
- you guys might find yourselves in roles where you Influence your community and social networks.
✨ Your Groom conjunct his Chiron and midheaven -
- your relationship with him can play a significant role in his healing journey. Your presence might help him adress and heal his deep seated wounds and insecurities.( Particularly related to his public image or career).
- this relationship could be visible to others in some way too. You might support his descisions and offer him practical advice.
- it also indicates you guys might work together in some endeavours.
✨ sun conjunct Lilith in 1st house synastry -
- strong magnetic and Intense attraction between both individuals. The Lilith person may find the sun person's presence particularly compelling and or even challenging. Also sun's charismatic presence captivate the Lilith person.
-Lilith is associated with the darker, more rebellious aspects of oneself. This conjunction might bring hidden or repressed feelings and desires to the surface. The Sun person may illuminate or provoke these deeper, often unacknowledged parts of the Lilith person’s psyche.
- also, The Lilith person might feel empowered by the Sun person's support or presence. Lilith's association with taboo and unconventional themes might lead both individuals to explore non-traditional or unconventional aspects of their personalities and their relationship. This could be a period of breaking societal norms or personal boundaries.
✨ Lilith conjunct ascendent in synastry -
- there can be a strong magnetic attraction in this relationship. The Lilith person might be drawn to the Ascendant person's appearance and persona, finding them compelling and intriguing. On the other side, The Ascendant person might experience their self-image or how they present themselves being challenged or intensely scrutinized by the Lilith person.
- The relationship might encourage both partners to push boundaries and embrace aspects of themselves they might normally keep hidden.
- The relationship might start with an intense attraction.As the relationship progresses, the challenges posed by Lilith’s influence may become more pronounced. The Ascendant person might need to confront and work through issues related to self-image, personal boundaries, and self-expression. But, Over time, the Ascendant person might experience shifts in how they see themselves and their role in the relationship. They may become more comfortable with unconventional aspects of their personality or feel more liberated in expressing their true self.
-If both partners are willing to work through the challenges and embrace the growth opportunities presented by this aspect, the relationship has the potential for long-term transformation. The connection can become a powerful force for personal development and emotional depth.
✨ Neptune conjunct moon and Southnode in synastry -
- there's a intuitive understanding and emotional sensitivity in this connection. There may be a sense of merging or an almost telepathic connection between you guys.
-The relationship may feel destined or fated, and you both might explore spiritual or artistic pursuits together. There could be a shared sense of idealism or a search for meaning beyond the mundane aspects of life.
- also , There might be a feeling of familiarity or a sense that the relationship is picking up from where something left off in the past.It may offer an opportunity to heal past issues or to transcend limiting patterns from earlier experiences.
-It’s important for both partners to stay grounded and address issues honestly.
✨ composite saturn in 4th house conjunct northnode -
- this relationship is aligned with long-term goals and destiny. This can mean that the partnership feels like it has a deeper purpose or meaning.
- The 4th house deals with home and family, and Saturn's presence here can imply that the relationship will bring about serious, transformative changes to how you both view and manage your domestic life. This might involve restructuring your home environment or redefining what "family" means to both of you.
- also this connection may challenge both partners to address unresolved family issues or to build a more secure and nurturing environment for themselves.
✨ Venus in 8th house synastry -
-The 8th house is associated with intimacy, and Venus can amplify feelings of passion and desire. so there's powerful physical and emotional attraction here in this relationship.
-The Venus person might bring insights or healing related to inherited family patterns or traits that the 8th house person is dealing with like , addressing generational issues or helping to resolve inherited emotional patterns.
-also , There could be a mutual interest in psychology, personal development, or metaphysical subjects. I mean exploring taboo related subjects.
- and, this relationship could lead to successful partnership in buisness and financial matters.
✨ Venus in 3rd house synastry -
-Venus in the 3rd house can facilitate successful collaboration on creative projects, like, writing, art, or media, where both partners contribute their talents and ideas.
-The Venus person might influence the 3rd house person’s taste in aesthetics or design, like such as,changes to their personal style, home decor, or artistic preferences influenced by the Venus person’s taste.
- also the Venus person might inspire the 3rd house person to express their affection and thoughts more openly. They will teach the house person how to improve their social skills too.
✨ Mars Square mars in synastry -
- the relationship with high energy and excitement. Both of you may find yourselves motivated and driven to pursue goals and tackle challenges together.
- there's a strong physical attraction.
-Both partners may push each other to overcome obstacles and strive for greater achievements.
-To make the most of this aspect, both partners will need to work on finding common ground and learning to compromise. Understanding each other’s assertiveness and working on effective communication can help solving conflicts.
-Accept that not all conflicts need to be resolved. Sometimes, agreeing to disagree and finding ways to work around differences can be effective.
✨ Moon opposite pluto in composite chart -
-Both partners might help each other confront and heal deep-seated emotional issues or patterns, which can lead to profound personal development and growth.
-There might be a feeling of having a special, almost secret bond that’s deeply felt but not always obvious, like shared understanding or unspoken bond that feels very mysterious.
- you might see significant symbolic or vivid dreams about each other.
-The intensity of the relationship could lead both partners to uncover and address shared ancestral or family patterns, such as, collective exploration of family history or emotional legacies.
-There can be heightened feelings of jealousy or insecurity. Address these feelings openly and work on building trust and reassurance within the relationship.
✨ Venus conjunct North node/ Vertex in synastry -
- There’s often a sense of destiny or significant purpose in the relationship. The attraction felt between the partners can feel exceptionally strong, as if meeting each other is part of a larger plan.
-Venus's influence brings love, beauty, and harmony, making this connection beneficial for personal development and fulfillment.
-You may inspire each other in artistic pursuits or appreciate each other’s creative expressions deeply.
-Both partners may find that their emotional needs are met in a way that feels uplifting and encouraging.
-but, the strong sense of purpose in the relationship might lead to dependency. Maintain individual growth and independence while nurturing the partnership.
✨ composite northnode/Vertex in 7th house -
- this is Marriage placement.The relationship is likely to be a central element in both partners’ personal growth and life direction. It emphasizes learning about yourself through the dynamic of partnership and collaboration.
-This placement suggests that the relationship will offer crucial lessons about relating to others, compromise, and mutual support.
-Partners may find themselves working well together and navigating conflicts with a strong sense of fairness and mutual respect.
-The relationship may encourage both partners to pursue shared goals and objectives, enhancing their ability to work together towards common aspirations and ambitions.
-There could be high expectations for how the relationship should support each partner’s growth. It’s crucial to communicate openly about needs and boundaries to avoid unrealistic demands.
✨4th house ruler in 12th house or vice versa in composite chart -
- Partners could prefer to keep their personal life and emotional world away from public view, making the relationship feel very intimate and protected.
-The relationship may offer opportunities for deep emotional healing and understanding. Resolve Issues related to family, home, or emotional security through introspection and compassionate support.
-your home might be a sanctuary for introspection and dealing with unconscious material.
-The relationship might have a spiritual or psychological dimension that is not immediately apparent. There could be a shared interest in exploring deep psychological themes, spirituality, or mysticism, which influences how you connect with each other on a home and family level.
✨ Venus in 1st house synastry conjunct sun -
-The Venus person is likely to be very attracted to the Sun person, finding them charming, attractive, and magnetic. There’s often a strong sense of admiration and affection from the Venus person toward the Sun person.
-The Sun person might feel more confident and expressive when around the Venus person. The Venus person’s presence can bring out the best qualities in the Sun person, enhancing their self-expression and creativity.
-There’s often a natural ease in how you relate to each other, making the relationship feel pleasant and fulfilling.
-There might be a tendency to idealize the Sun person or the relationship itself. It’s crucial to remain grounded and realistic about each other's strengths and weaknesses to avoid disillusionment.
✨ person A's Moon conjunct person B's Chiron , Pluto and Lilith in synastry -
- person A may help the person B address old wounds and find comfort, while person B can offer insights into the person A's emotional vulnerabilities. But, The connection might bring old wounds to the surface, which can be challenging. Both partners need to handle these emotional triggers with sensitivity and patience.
-person A may undergo significant emotional transformation through person B's influence. This aspect can lead to a profound sense of renewal and personal growth.
-The relationship may involve exploring taboo or unconventional topics. Lilith’s influence can help both partners confront and embrace aspects of their emotional life that are often hidden or repressed. But, The raw and intense emotional expression can sometimes lead to conflict or discomfort. It’s important to navigate these emotions with care and mutual respect.
✨ Moon conjunct mars in synastry -
- The Moon person may feel that their emotional needs are directly and energetically addressed by the Mars person, leading to an engaging and active emotional interplay.
-Mars can energize the Moon’s emotional expression, encouraging both to pursue their goals with more passion and drive.
-The Moon person might feel a deep sense of emotional satisfaction through physical touch and affection from the Mars person.
-There might be a need to balance the Moon person’s emotional needs with the Mars person’s drive and assertiveness. Both partners should work on understanding and respecting each other’s differing emotional rhythms and needs.
✨ Mars conjunct Chiron in 4th house in composite chart -
- Both partners can help each other address deep-seated wounds related to family, home life, and emotional security by actively confronting and working through these issues together.
-The couple might find themselves taking decisive steps to create a more secure, supportive, and nurturing home life.
-The intensity of Mars combined with the healing potential of Chiron can drive dynamic emotional growth.
- There could be a tendency to confront or expose each other’s vulnerabilities, particularly those related to emotional security or family history. It’s important to approach these moments with care and support.
✨ Moon in composite chart 12th house -
- The relationship may provide a private, safe space where both partners can explore their innermost feelings and vulnerabilities. This can lead to a deep sense of emotional security and understanding.
-The 12th house is associated with healing and the unconscious mind. The relationship may offer opportunities for emotional healing and resolution of past traumas or unresolved issues.
- There may be an intuitive understanding and a sense of knowing each other on a Deeper level, even without words.
- There may be a tendency to escape or avoid facing difficult emotions or realities within the relationship. Both partners need to be aware of this tendency and strive to address issues directly and constructively.
✨12 house stellium in composite ( sun , Venus , saturn) , 8th house synastry ( moon and Mars in partners 8th house) , 12th house synastry ( partner's Venus and Mercury in my 12th house) is it doomed as people make it to be?
-The 12th house is linked to healing and the subconscious mind. The presence of the Sun, Venus, and Saturn here suggests that the relationship can be a source of deep emotional healing and growth. Both partners may work through past traumas and emotional patterns together.
-The 8th house is associated with deep emotional and psychological experiences. The Moon and Mars in the partner’s 8th house suggest that the relationship is likely to be intensely transformative and emotionally charged. The 8th house is also linked to issues of power and control. The partners might experience power struggles or conflicts related to control and intimacy.
-Venus and Mercury in the 12th house suggest a strong subconscious or intuitive connection. The partner may deeply understand and resonate with your hidden emotional needs and desires. But, The relationship might involve a significant amount of private or secretive behavior, which can sometimes lead to misunderstandings or difficulties in fully understanding each other’s needs.
- conclusion - not doomed but it's complex. Work on balancing the idealistic or escapist tendencies with practical and realistic approaches to handling relationship issues.
✨ Mars, Pluto, juno and Nessus in 1st house synastry-
- The combination of Mars and Pluto suggests a relationship with intense energy and transformative potential. Both partners are likely to experience significant personal growth through their interactions.
- Juno’s influence adds a focus on partnership, commitment, and the ideal of a supportive and respectful relationship.
-The presence of Nessus introduces the need to address deeper issues related to boundaries and personal trauma. The relationship may involve working through these issues.
-also, The combination of Mars, Pluto, and Nessus suggests potential power struggles or control issues. Both partners need to be aware of these dynamics and work on maintaining healthy boundaries and mutual respect.
✨ more outer planet aspects in composite chart than personal planets - will this relationship work out?
- If both partners are committed to personal and relational growth, the relationship can thrive despite its challenges. Outer planet aspects often bring opportunities for significant personal development and transformation.
- Open and honest communication is crucial. Being able to discuss deep emotions, changes, and challenges openly can help manage the complexities and maintain a strong connection.
- Understanding each other’s needs and being patient with the process of transformation can lead to a deeper connection and greater stability over time.
✨ mercury in 1st house synastry, mercury trine Mercury, mercury conjunct moon in synastry, why is it so difficult to maintain conversation with this person?
- Even with harmonious aspects, partners might have different styles of communication. For instance, one may prefer direct, straightforward conversations, while the other might be more subtle or indirect.
- The Mercury-Moon conjunction indicates an emotional connection through communication, but it can also mean that underlying emotional issues or sensitivities influence how conversations unfold. If emotions are high or unresolved, it can affect the flow of dialogue.
-Create regular times for conversation, such as having a weekly check-in or dedicated time for discussing important topics. Consistent communication practices can improve overall interaction.
-If emotional sensitivities are impacting communication, address these issues directly. Open discussions about feelings and concerns can help clear the air and improve interaction.
-Practice active listening, where you truly focus on what the other person is saying without planning your response while they speak.
-Find and focus on topics of mutual interest. Engaging in conversations about shared hobbies, goals, or passions can help foster smoother and more enjoyable dialogues.
-Take time to understand each other’s communication preferences.
✨ Venus in 10th house synastry -
-The relationship might receive public attention or recognition. Partners might be seen as a power couple or gain admiration from others for their combined achievements or public presence.
-The relationship may bring a romantic and harmonious influence to the other partner's career. This can result in a balanced approach to work and personal life, with an emphasis on creating beauty and harmony in professional settings.
-There could be an overemphasis on how the relationship is perceived by others. Partners need to ensure that their focus remains on genuine connection and mutual respect rather than solely on public perception.
✨ Mercury in 10th house synastry -
-This placement often indicates shared interests or intellectual compatibility in professional matters. The partners might find that they have similar ideas or approaches to career goals and public image.
-The partner with Mercury may offer valuable advice, insights, or practical help related to the other partner’s professional aspirations.
-Differences in communication styles or professional opinions might lead to conflicts. It’s important to address any disagreements constructively and ensure they don’t negatively impact the relationship.
Thanks for reading ✨
- Piko 💫
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INFINITY — F. READER x GOJO SATORU
When was the last time you slept? You couldn't tell, but Satoru was determined to get you to rest.
cw: slightly angsty if you squint, just idiots in love unable to communicate properly, death mentioned (the usual jjk content) — 1,3k words
a/n: i'm going through my wips, finishing them finally and posting, don't mind me ❥
“When was the last time you slept?”
Satoru’s soft voice entered your mind and brought it back to reality. You were exhausted, having no sleep for few days already. Your eyes felt heavy, your mind was foggy and as you tried to push through the fatigue, you struggled to concentrate on even the simplest tasks. Everything felt like it’s taking twice as much effort as usual and more and more often you were catching yourself at making silly mistakes that you wouldn’t normally do. It was probably the fact you were standing at the little kitchen unit in the hotel room you share with Gojo for the mission, and the cup you were trying to fill with water overflown already.
“Shit,” you cussed quietly, putting down the kettle and grabbing the roll of paper towels, knocking a bottle while you reached next to it. Of course it was open and another portion of liquid spilled all over the counter and the floor.
“Hey, whoa, I’ll deal with it,” the strongest was quick to take everything from your hands, smiling in amusement at the soft groan that escaped your mouth. “So? When did you sleep last time?”
“I don’t remember,” you grumbled, pinching the bridge of your nose. The job you had been assigned was taking everything from you and it wasn’t because it was hard. It really wasn’t much above the ordinary and your partner turns every task into a child’s play, but it was the unpredictability of the curses you were targeting that made you go without sleep for a week already. You had at most four hours of rest, broken into short naps when you just passed out and now, you were awake for 43 hours straight. It was taking a toll on your mind and body, the fatigue was like a weight on your shoulders, making your movements sluggish and your thoughts slow.
You sighed, rubbing your eyes aggressively, a desperate attempt to wipe away the foggy haze from your sight. It’s been some time since you don’t see clearly anymore, your brain was pulling tricks on you and though you couldn’t blame it for that, you also wished it to keep up for just a little longer
“Go to sleep,” Gojo told you, wiping away the water that you spilled all over the kitchen area. “I’ll deal with anything that might pop up,” he reassured, though his tone was everything but caring. He was teasing you, his playful nature and smugness fronting in his behavior as always. He wasn’t bothered by the mission, he was doing his job flawlessly and frankly, you were sent with him only to make sure people around are safe because Satoru has a habit of not caring too much about casualties.
“You know I can’t do that,” a groan from you only made the man chuckle. You were in the middle of war – it felt like it, at least – there was a plague of curses, most of them reaching first grade, day after day appearing in bigger quantities and it was straight up way too dangerous to let yourself to drift away. Last time you managed to close your eyes for a little longer than an hour, one of the demons broke into the hotel you were staying in and nearly killed you. It seemed like they were just waiting for the right moment to attack, when your guard is down and you’re vulnerable and you knew that once you fall asleep, you’re not going to wake up on time. Even if Gojo was volunteering to fight, you were convinced the moment he’d step away from you, you’d be dead. And that was the last position on your wishlist.
“I told you I’ll take care of the curses while you’re sleeping, don’t be so dense,” the strongest just shrugged, seemingly unbothered but the grin was ghosting over his lips, making you wish you could wipe it off his stupid handsome face. While you were suffering, Satoru was sleeping just fine, not caring about a thing because he didn’t need to care about being in danger when he always had a nice, protective layer of damn infinity around himself. The world could be burning and not a single spark would reach his sleeping form. Rest was a luxury he was able to afford during this mission and sadly, you couldn’t because once you’re not awake and ready to protect yourself, you’ll be swiped off the board.
“Why would you even bother, huh?” You snapped, not sparing him a look while you approached the window. The streets seemed oddly calm, now as dark as the sky above them, and you wished it would stay normal for the next hours so you would have one less thing to deal with during the night time.
Truth is, the very fact of sharing a job with Gojo is a curse in itself, one impossible to exorcise and it was taking every bit of professionalism that you had in you to just push through it. Your relation with the honored one is difficult. It’s complicated and straight up unpleasant, it seemed like you were stuck in an endless cycle of bickering. Every conversation seemed to turn into an argument, and every disagreement seemed to escalate into a full-blown fight. It was exhausting, emotionally and mentally, it was straining but no matter how many times you tried, you couldn’t manage to break the pattern and instead, you just kept going around in circles. The words you spoke to each other were getting increasingly cutting and the anger was growing with each passing day. Even when you did manage to reach a solution, it was always a matter of time before another conflict would arise and you’d be back to square one. It was as if you were trapped in a maze, with no clear path to a peaceful co-existence and that was enough reason for you to be convinced that Gojo would be the last person on earth worrying about your well-being.
“I don’t want you to die on me because of the lack of sleep, come one,” he shrugged, throwing away the wet paper towels and joining you near the window. “Rest, I’ll stay awake.”
“I’ll get myself a coffee,” you said, not convinced at all. Truth is, only few times you allowed yourself to pass out was when Satoru was awake, because you wouldn’t dare to close your eyes when he was sleeping himself, but you couldn’t trust him. And you’d feel horrible if you made him stay awake just so you can sleep.
“No, seriously, no coffee for you,” he grabbed you by the wrist and pulled towards the bed.
“Gojo, do you not understand—”
“Shhh,” he hushed, manhandling you onto the mattress, forcing your shoes off and gathering the covers to tuck you in as if you were a child.
“I hate you…” Was all you could mumble. It was a torture. The soft pillows underneath your head and warm comforter were so perfect, so inviting for you to just let yourself drift off. You wished to let the heavy eyelids down, to give your eyes the rest they need and allow your brain to reset and clear. You felt like your body was betraying you, the exhaustion was seeping into your bones, making it impossible to move.
“Yeah, yeah,” to your surprise, Gojo pushed his own boots off as well and in a moment he was in bed with you, sharing sheets and pulling you towards himself. “Now, here. You are now inside my infinity. You’re safe, sleep.”
Infinity. It felt safe, suddenly, but was it because of infinity or the man that now had his arms wrapped around you? You couldn’t tell and frankly, you couldn’t speak either, so you just hummed something in response as the sleep has taken you away.
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How He Handles Jealousy
Thank you so much for the request for this headcanon! It turned out to be longer than I initially anticipated, but I hope you find it enjoyable to read. Happy reading!
Being fresh in a relationship often means confronting one's own insecurities. One of these is the question of whether one can fully trust their partner and how to deal with it when the partner themselves is plagued by the question of whether they are truly enough. So what about the ghouls: How do they handle this in both directions? In this scenario, we assume that you are in a relationship and that you, of course, never pursue any ill intentions when creating a situation that makes your loved one jealous, and vice versa. We are always talking about a healthy level of jealousy.
Jin
Jin does not strike you as a man who becomes jealous easily. He has rank, status, outrageously good looks, and charisma. Who would dare to even consider getting too close to his beloved? And what could lead him to think that you might have an interest in someone other than him? Exactly: nothing.
Nevertheless, even the king of Frostheim occasionally experiences a strange feeling in his chest when he sees you showing a little too much interest in another person. There's nothing wrong with playing it safe, right? He will be quite open about his jealousy, though he wouldn't label it as such. Instead, he will explicitly ask you what you have going on with the other person. Depending on your answer, he will either allow you to continue interacting with them undisturbed or he will ask you to keep your distance. If you disagree, he will accept it but will become noticeably clingy and unusually touchy in the presence of that person in the future.
Conversely, Jin cannot imagine that you could ever be jealous of anyone. Aside from the fact that you are his everything, which he always shows you in his own way, he considers you superior to all other people. How could you possibly think that anyone could measure up to you? Since he can't stand most other people anyway, he would never deliberately get too close to someone else.
He won't notice your jealousy unless you communicate it clearly. Initially, he will stare at you in disbelief and will need to process what you just said. Once he has absorbed the information, he will suddenly start laughing heartily. He'll begin to grin devilishly, cup your chin, and gently pull you a bit closer to his face. "Come to my room after the event tonight. I'll show you enough good reasons why you don't need to worry."
Tohma
Tohma is a true gentleman with far too good manners for you to ever suspect that he feels jealousy. However, in the early stages of your relationship, this feeling is anything but foreign to him, as your time together is limited, and he is careful to keep your relationship a secret for as long as possible. Who wouldn't feel negative emotions when they see the person they desire getting close to other people, even if it's just a fleeting touch of their hand?
Without the chains he has bound himself with by moving to Frostheim, he would certainly be the type to charmingly but firmly put any rivals in their place. Depending on how far the rival has gone with you, it could even be imaginable that he would elegantly beat him to a pulp in an alley. Otherwise, a public display of your connection through physical contact would suffice to remind the audacious guy who he’s messing with. However, in Frostheim, Tohma is forced to use different means. If your new clingy acquaintance suddenly starts keeping their distance from you, it will likely be because they received an anonymous and highly convincing threatening letter. Everyone has skeletons in their closets, and Tohma knows exactly how to find and leverage them.
Although he is rather distant, Tohma has a seductive way of conversing with others, so it's highly likely that one or two women may have cast an eye on him. Since you are suffering as much as he is from the secrecy of your relationship, you will, sooner or later, inevitably find yourself ensnared in the burning arms of jealousy.
Even if Tohma can empathize with your feelings because he knows them as well as you do, he will want to maintain the façade at all costs and will earnestly ask you to be patient and hold back just a little longer. Sooner or later, everything will fall into place, and you can be together whenever you want. But whatever happens, don't act too rashly, as Tohma's goals for his service to the Frost King will always take precedence. By letting you into his life, he is undoubtedly risking a lot, so cut him some slack if he can't change his public behavior for now. The silver lining is that you'll receive more messages asking you to bring him "special documents" to the vault room. Reviewing those together will always take a bit more time.
Luca
Luca sees you as an honorable person and won't easily entertain the thought that anyone could take you from him, unless it’s death itself. Some situations may seem strange to him in the early days of your relationship when he sees you getting close to other men, with whom you're building a tighter (albeit genuinely platonic) relationship. Even Luca is not immune to feeling a bit uneasy.
Assuming that everything must be as it should, he will swallow that uncomfortable feeling for a long time and won’t let on. Unfortunately, he will do this until it boils over, and his feelings overwhelm him. In the next situation he observes – even if it’s just lunch at Sho's food truck – he will come directly to you and confront you both. Since by that point you likely won't have known anything about Luca's emotional state (how could you?), you'll be utterly incredulous and shocked as you watch Luca throw all his pride overboard, take your hands in his, look deep into your eyes, and seriously ask whether you still love him and want to stay with him, or if you've decided to be happier with another man. The shame reflected on his face when you tell him he couldn't be more wrong will remain a topic of conversation on campus for a long time. He won't stop apologizing to both you and your friend, promising that such behavior won't happen again. It might be best to take the poor man along to your meetings so he feels better.
Luca is an old-fashioned gentleman, inherently friendly and courteous to everyone. Unfortunately, he can quickly lose sight of his surroundings when he believes he is doing the right thing, leading to situations that may push others too far and evoke jealousy without him ever intending to.
If you react to your jealousy with a corresponding mood, Luca will quickly notice and address it. However, he won't pick up on any subtle hints you might drop that aren't blatantly obvious, as he won’t be aware of any inappropriate behavior. Once he knows how you feel, he won't stop apologizing and will be overwhelmed with guilt, culminating in showering you with attention and gifts. He promises you that he won't make such a mistake again, and he means it.
Kaito
Unfortunately, Kaito suffers from extremely low self-esteem, which also reflects the intensity of his feelings. Any tiny bit of attention you give to another man will immediately be interpreted as a sign of disinterest in him. At first, he will try to calm himself down. "Come on, Kaito, that's perfectly normal! Everyone has friends of the opposite sex! It doesn't mean anything." Despite all his efforts, his insecurity will eventually overwhelm him, and he will try to speak to you privately during a quiet moment, trying to subtly inquire about the person he is feeling envious of. "What exactly do you two discuss all the time?" "Where do you know him from?" "Does he have a girlfriend?"
Depending on the nature of your response, it will either calm him down for a while or bring him to tears. However, he would never bring it up in public. His crying will, at worst, only be noticed by his neighbors (who probably aren't surprised). Have some compassion for the poor man. He is so happy with you and still can't fathom that an angel like you chose him as her boyfriend of all people. Him, who feels like he has nothing to offer. Thus, the fear of losing you becomes even more pronounced because you might realize that he is really worthless. This, of course, is not true, and you've likely told him enough times. However, words alone won’t help him in this case. Involve him in your outings with friends and communicate or show publicly that Kaito is your boyfriend. Besides making him the happiest person on the planet, it will help calm him down.
If you, on the other hand, become jealous of someone Kaito is interacting with, you can assume that he won't pick up on it at first. After all, he wouldn’t know what there is to be jealous about. Sure, Kaito didn’t pass up any chance to flirt with other women on campus before your relationship, but that was, as stated, before you got together. Meanwhile, he would never risk making you feel unloved. If you initially don’t communicate your jealousy directly and react with a worse mood instead, the last thing he will suspect is jealousy.
So if you can’t shake off those feelings, communicate them. He may respond with confusion and even shock, but secretly he will be flattered. This will be an opportunity for you to boost his self-esteem, which can only benefit Kaito. He will cease any activities that lead to your jealousy and will make it clear in public (as long as you both agree on how to appear in public) that it is only you by his side.
Alan
It’s relatively hard to imagine Alan becoming quickly jealous in the classic sense. Since he’s already unsure in the early stages of the relationship whether it was the right decision to enter it on his part, he wouldn’t really hold it against you if you got closer to other people. Not that you yourself would ever have such thoughts, but Alan might interpret even the slightest closeness to someone else as you reconsidering your relationship with him.
Just because he won’t actively bring it up doesn’t mean he won’t feel uncomfortable when he sees you (in his view) getting too familiar with another person. When his chest tightens, and he feels the urge to step in, hold you in his arms, and never let go to ensure that you belong to him alone, he would never act on that feeling.
On the other hand, he would never assume that you might be jealous of another woman he interacts with. Let alone that he would ever give another woman enough attention for you to even consider it. So, if you want to clear things up, you’ll need to bring it up directly with him.
Knowing that you're jealous would simply break his heart, and he would wonder where he went wrong. Did he give you the impression that you’ve become unimportant to him? Did he not give you enough attention? Did he actually get too close to someone else? He would apologize a thousand times and reassure you that you are his everything and that there’s really nothing to worry about. He would avoid the other person as much as possible from then on, or at least behave much more distantly. He would never want to give the wrong impression or hurt you in any way.
Sho
Sho is a very easy-going and uncomplicated guy when it comes to relationships. He gives you all the freedom in the world and fully trusts that you’d never let anyone cross the line. The only thing that could trigger jealousy in Sho is his highly developed protective instinct. Thanks to his friendship with Leo and their excessive clubbing, he knows the dark sides of human nature all too well, and he wants to shield you from them at all costs.
So, if he notices another guy leaving his hand on your shoulder for just a millisecond too long, the good man’s protective instinct kicks in, and he feels the need to set that guy straight by joining in and adding some physical contact with you. He will throw the rival a few unmistakable looks. Once the boundaries are established and Sho has made it clear with his body language what happens if the guy gets too close to his beloved girlfriend, Sho will disappear just as quickly as he came. Have fun with the rest of your evening!
In the case that you are jealous when Sho interacts with certain people, he’ll notice it from your body language right away, unless you outright tell him. Sho is, after all, an extremely attentive and surprisingly empathetic man who doesn’t miss a single one of your glances. Even though he would expect the same trust from you that he gives you, he doesn’t react with disappointment or rejection, but with loving teasing. “What, seriously, you’re jealous of her?” He simply finds your jealousy too cute to be genuinely angry.
Sho also belongs to the type of guy who would take you along to meetings with the respective person to make things more obvious and help ease your insecurities. From now on, he’ll also be a little more careful to ensure that his actions toward others don’t provoke any negative feelings in you.
Leo
Leo would never admit that he’s jealous of someone who (in his eyes) is getting too close to you. Absolutely not. If he feels anything, it’s anger because you’re risking being seen together, and his followers might think there’s trouble between you and the influencer. Yeah, that’s definitely the only thing that comes to his mind when he sees you with a supposed rival. It’s the same when he sees overly nice comments from men about you under his videos and promptly deletes them. Don’t let it go to your head or get any silly ideas.
So, don’t think too much of it when he grumbles at you to be careful how you interact with other guys because it could give off the wrong impression. Don’t read too much into it either if he starts marking his territory when you don’t listen and still let that boring guy (allegedly) get too close. For Leo, the smallest form of physical contact is enough to trigger his jealous attentive radar. He’ll then quickly start pushing himself between you two, showering you with physical (and surely inappropriate for the situation) attention. Additionally, in his usual cruel style, he’ll subtly insult and try to humiliate his supposed rival. If you’re in a relationship with Leo, you’ll have to love him very much to deal with his behavior.
In Leo’s eyes, it’s obviously nooooo problem at all if other girls get too close to him. After all, he’s a popular influencer and can’t neglect his fans. Why would you even think he’d start anything with one of those airheads? If you do somehow let your jealousy show, you can expect to be met with plenty of scorn and mockery on his part.
Leo won’t be able to stop laughing and will call you “stupid” in the most creative ways more than once. Of course, he’ll never show outwardly how cute he actually finds your jealousy. And he certainly won’t change his behavior toward his fans. Bad for business.
However, he’ll now start including you in his videos much more frequently to make you feel better. It’s definitely not because he enjoys showing off his cute girlfriend to everyone and bragging about you. Now, he just has a really good excuse to hide his true intentions behind.
Haru
Haru is usually too busy to worry about something like jealousy. Just like you, he also has his tasks and his daily life, which you can arrange however you like, with whomever you like. Things only get critical if you start spending time with someone else (for whatever reason) that’s meant for the both of you. The first couple of times, he would take it as normal, but by the third rejection, his attention would be caught. Do you have someone else?
Haru isn’t really the type to want to take away anyone’s freedom. And certainly not yours. But sooner or later, he won’t be able to bear that uncomfortable, gnawing feeling in his chest anymore and will ask you, more or less casually, what’s going on. Are you lacking something? Did he do something wrong? If you ask him more specifically why he’s asking, he’ll calmly explain that he finds it strange that you have less time for him and that he’s worried you’re dissatisfied with him. Since you certainly aren’t (and if you are, please bring it up directly – communication is everything in a relationship!), you’ll reassure him that there’s a very good reason for your absence and he doesn’t need to worry. He’ll accept any explanation you give with relief because he fully trusts you.
In the reverse situation, Haru will quickly sense your discomfort if you somehow develop jealousy. He may not invest as much time in a relationship as others, but the time he does take for the both of you is used to its fullest. As a result, he gets to know you very well, very quickly, and senses right away when something is wrong. He’ll immediately ask you about it and want to know exactly what’s bothering you.
If it’s his light flirting with female guests at the Safari Park, he’ll do his best to cut it out, even though it’s completely meaningless to him. However, he won’t always succeed entirely because it’s just part of his nature, so please don’t hold it against him too much. Whatever else has triggered your jealousy, he’ll try to stop doing it from now on, as long as it’s within his control (some circumstances just don’t allow certain behaviors to change). At the same time, he’ll encourage you to have a bit more self-confidence and stop doubting his feelings for you because they’re more than genuine. To be sure, though, he’ll conspicuously and practically tell everyone just how fantastic his girlfriend is. Absolutely everyone. In every situation. Ren will get tired of hearing it. Towa, on the other hand, will love it. Eventually, everyone on campus will know that you are the great love of the ranger. You’ll also soon read this fact on the new brochures for the Safari Park. Still have doubts?
Towa
Once you enter a relationship with Towa, you are completely devoted to him. You are his dandelion, and he is your Prince Charming. Your love is pure and true, making it unthinkable for anyone to come between you. While Towa wouldn’t dream of restricting your time with friends, he won’t tolerate anyone who seems to have more than friendship on their mind.
Towa feels his emotions intensely and is quickly overwhelmed by jealousy once it arises. You'll notice his mood shift instantly—where sunshine was, storm clouds now linger when you and a friend are too close. He’ll wait for you to approach him, but if you bring it up, his anger will flare. Why would you let anyone come so close? Explanations won’t suffice here, and actions must follow to calm him. A little more physical distance between you and your friend will be necessary from now on. Towa dreams of a fairytale romance with his soulmate, and that includes avoiding any outward appearances that could be misunderstood.
On the flip side, it’s rare for Towa to get close to someone else, as he tends to keep people at a distance. Besides, it’s almost unthinkable for him to give much attention to anyone other than his beloved dandelion. His love for you is deep and genuine.
Should the impossible happen, and you feel jealous of someone else, Towa would drop that person in a heartbeat. Everyone besides you (and maybe Haru) is practically irrelevant to him. He’ll have no problem acting in a way that reassures you. “You’re being silly, dandelion. You’re the most beautiful flower of them all!”
Ren
Poor guy. Wasn’t it painful enough for him to realize his feelings for you and act on them? Now he must also admit that you mean so much to him that even the thought of you leaving him for some brainless dullard drives him insane? Even though you likely wouldn’t give him such reason to worry, the thought is hard to avoid. Ren has healthy self-confidence, but at the beginning of your relationship, he can’t shake the fear that you might be one of those girls who’d ditch him for a macho guy at the first chance.
Ren’s jealousy is noticeable by how harshly he insults his supposed rival. “Why are you hanging out with a guy who looks like he sleeps at the gorilla enclosure?” or “Are you sure you’re actually texting with him and not an AI? No way that guy learned how to write.” These are just some of the quips you’ll hear. It won’t take much to figure out how Ren is feeling. He wouldn’t ask to join you at these meetups or accompany you if you asked. Nor would he ever demand you stop seeing this person; it’s still your life, after all. However, showering him with extra affection won’t hurt, and though it won’t make his mood improve immediately, he’ll deeply enjoy your attention. He knows he has to handle his feelings himself, and with time, he will.
You’re unlikely to feel jealous of anyone in Ren’s life, as he tends to avoid most people. If anything, you might get jealous of an online acquaintance he chats with often. Should you bring it up, he’ll likely be annoyed since he can’t comprehend how someone can feel threatened by a person who isn’t physically present.
He’s not the type to change his behavior just because you’re uncomfortable. He expects the same freedom he gives you. However, he’ll (grudgingly and indirectly) assure you that you never need to worry about him being interested in anyone else. After all, you’re his fellow inmate in the prison called Darkwick, and no one could replace you.
Romeo
Romeo is a territorial type who hates when someone tries to intrude on his kingdom. It’s not pure jealousy driving him to chase off his so-called rival but more so his outrage at someone daring to approach what belongs to him (yes, you belong to him).
However, how he reacts depends heavily on who you’re spending time with. If you’re hanging out with Kaito, Romeo won’t care much since he doesn’t see him as a threat. But if your “rival” is more elegant and even remotely comparable to Romeo’s beauty, things get dangerous. First, he’ll start appearing around you more often, publicly wrapping his arms around you and giving you tender kisses on the cheek. While you’re still trying to figure out what’s happening, he’ll brush your flushed cheek and whisper in your ear about how stunning you look today, all while shooting a triumphant glance at his rival. Not only does he publicly claim you, but he also secures a romantic interlude in his office—unless, of course, you can resist a jealous Romeo. This scenario could repeat endlessly, but it wouldn’t be wise to test Romeo’s patience. One day, your rival might mysteriously disappear. Strange how things happen…
Conversely, Romeo expects you to have enough self-confidence to not let such a petty feeling as jealousy control you (easy for him to say). There will likely be plenty of occasions to make even the most confident person sweat with anxiety. After all, Romeo is incredibly attractive and knows how to use his charm to get what he wants. Who wouldn’t be tempted?
If you can’t hold back and express your discomfort over his behavior with someone else, you’ll initially be met with disbelief and disappointment. Did he really choose a partner so insecure that she thinks the infallible Romeo would ever be in a relationship with someone replaceable? Nonsense. His words might make you feel like he’s dismissing your feelings, telling you to pull yourself together, but his actions will tell a different story. From then on, he’ll bring you along to meetings with that person, showing you subtle yet unmistakable affection for everyone to see.
Taiga
It won’t be easy to provoke jealousy in Taiga. Not because he’s incapable of such feelings or because he doesn’t care about you, but simply because he hardly takes his eyes off you. He’s quite the clingy type and takes you practically everywhere he goes. Where would be the time to connect with someone else well enough for Taiga to have any wrong ideas?
However, if you do have enough time to become close friends with another guy, such that you have some (purely platonic) physical contact (a hand on the shoulder is enough), Taiga will quickly become dangerously jealous. Who dares to touch his beloved lucky charm?! This friendship won’t last long, as Taiga will swiftly come up to you, casually drape an arm around you, and with the other, draw his weapon and shamelessly aim it at his rival. “I think it’s time for you to leave.” Even though he says this calmly with a smile on his lips, hardly anyone will miss the seriousness of the situation. He’ll tolerate your complaints about his behavior and wave them off with boredom. But he will do it again if anyone approaches you in that way. His jealousy only flares up with charismatic types; the only exception might be Romeo. With people he perceives as losers, you can remain friends as you like. Don’t look at him like that. You chose this relationship for yourself.
In the very unlikely event that you become jealous of someone in Taiga’s vicinity, an (extremely uncomfortable) solution will also quickly present itself. Taiga will notice your jealousy if you react to him in a particular mood. When you tell him the reason, he will laugh loudly and pat your head, visibly amused as he asks if he means so much to you that you become jealous so quickly.
“No reason to worry, kitty cat, look.” Without hesitation, he pulls out a weapon and aims it at the person who triggered your jealousy. You should really react quickly at this point to prevent something worse. He truly doesn’t care about anything except you, and unfortunately, he has no qualms about showing that.
Ritsu
To provoke someone like Ritsu into such a base feeling as jealousy would take quite a lot. He is an extremely pragmatic man who has his own way of handling feelings, which he keeps quite well under control. Moreover, as his chosen one, you must possess certain qualities to even be considered at his side, including loyalty.
So why should Mr. Shinjo even worry that you might fall for another man? After all, you entered into a relationship, and that comes with rules—like an invisible contract that you both signed with a kiss. If he has doubts about you, they are likely to be well-founded—like obviously more than purely platonic physical contact with another man or blatantly ignoring Ritsu in the presence of certain people. In this case, he will immediately address it and ask for clarification of the matter.
Conversely, it will also be difficult for him to develop jealousy towards someone Ritsu associates with. You know his professional nature too well. So unless you yourself tend toward strong jealousy over trivial matters, you will only be overwhelmed by your feelings in absolutely justified situations.
Ritsu is a good observer and will quickly notice if something is wrong with you. He will directly address it to inquire about the reason for your mood swing. However, he would be a bit disappointed if you didn’t bring it up yourself. He will address the problem directly and won’t waste time on the fact that he cannot comprehend your feelings, because the fact is, you have them, and he doesn’t want you to feel uncomfortable. Whatever behavior led to your jealousy: he will cease it immediately.
Haku
Haku is not someone who becomes jealous easily, which is why he grants you a lot of freedom. You would have to give someone an unusually large amount of attention to evoke that feeling in Haku. However, he isn’t the type of person to directly express his discomfort. Instead, he will endure the feeling and the sight of the two of you for quite some time until he can no longer help but take action.
Nevertheless, he won’t directly address it; instead, he will take care of the problem himself, activating his hunting instinct and increasingly joining you whenever you’re with that particular someone. In doing so, he will try to more or less subtly solidify his status as your boyfriend. A spontaneous kiss on the cheek, his arm around your waist throughout the meeting, the casual question of when he can expect you tonight… Yep, he’ll manage his emotional chaos on his own. So you can sit back and enjoy this extra attention.
If you are the one who becomes jealous (which is more than understandable considering Haku’s naturally flirtatious nature), he will quickly notice regardless of how you communicate. Not that he would want to hurt you intentionally, but he will likely find your jealousy quite adorable and will playfully tease you about it. He certainly won’t pass up the chance to annoy you. “Watch out, I’m meeting a certain lady today who is quite pretty, but she can’t even begin to compare to the princess in front of me,” or “I don’t know if you’re ready for this, but I’m seeing that one person today to whom I recently told her hairstyle looks good. But don’t worry: I won’t take her home.” He’ll ride that horse for a long time.
But rest assured, Haku only wants what’s best for you. So to take away any uncertainty, he will present you even more obviously as his beloved girlfriend in public. He won’t suggest it himself, but if you express a desire to meet those individuals who triggered your jealousy, he won’t refuse. After all, he has nothing to hide. However, you’d need to be pretty thick-skinned to endure that meeting, during which Haku will naturally be all over you the whole time to show you that you needn’t worry about anyone taking his flirting seriously, as everyone should already know he’s taken.
Subaru
The former Kabuki actor suffers from many insecurities regarding himself. This is likely connected to his somewhat impractical ability that can activate without his active involvement, showing him things that were never meant for his eyes. Despite all circumstances, he has entered into a relationship with you and, given the physical contact you’ve likely had, knows pretty much everything about you there is to know. This includes knowing your sincere feelings for him.
Because of this, there’s hardly any reason for Subaru to develop jealousy. You have your friends and handle them your way. That’s absolutely okay for him. The only exception might be strangers who have just appeared and are still difficult for Subaru to assess. In this case, especially charismatic individuals who are also very friendly toward you could provoke some jealousy in him, but he would never show it openly or address it, because, as mentioned: he knows you and trusts you completely. However, you might notice a change in his suddenly much more self-confident and assertive demeanor towards the strangers, indicating what has triggered this character change.
Conversely, Subaru will notice even the slightest change in your mood or behavior and interpret it correctly, so your jealousy won’t remain hidden for long. Being who he is, he won’t stop apologizing, sincerely assuring you that he never intended to evoke those feelings in you. The situation is visibly uncomfortable for him.
Since he takes your feelings very seriously and feels them himself through your physical contact, he will take all necessary measures to nip them in the bud. This includes, of course, assuring you thousands of times that you never have to worry. He’s far too polite to simply dismiss other people, but he will still behave a bit more distantly towards those individuals.
Zenji
Given his circumstances, Zenji was likely quite difficult to convince to enter into a relationship, so he probably gives you a lot of freedom in how you interact with others—even though he, too, can reach his limits. However, he would never expect you to completely devote yourself to him when you still have your whole life ahead of you.
When it comes to the feeling of jealousy in general, he knows it all too well, as he practically feels that biting sensation towards anyone who has the privilege of being physically close to you and feeling your warmth. However, assume that he would never communicate this feeling under any circumstances. He loves you too much and is too at peace with himself and his situation.
We can probably skip the reverse scenario, as besides a few chosen ones, no one can see him anyway. But if Zenji was already that kind of person in life, it stands to reason that someone with the right disposition could quickly become envious of his admirers, with whom he interacts very openly and invitingly, even if he never has any ulterior motives.
Zenji is the definition of a pure soul. If for any reason you were ever in a situation where you became jealous of someone who interacted with him, he would notice—whether you show it or not. Without ever bringing it up himself, he would simply cease the behavior that led to your jealousy. For you should never even entertain the idea that anyone could be more interesting to him than his dearly beloved muse.
Rui
Since Rui is someone who could easily steal a girlfriend from one or two guys, he is even more wary of guys of his caliber. It’s not that he doesn’t trust you per se, but he just knows how quickly someone can be tempted when the right buttons are pressed. To make matters worse, Rui isn’t really able to defend himself. He can’t just take you in his arms to present you as his or stand up to a guy to show dominance. Your relationship is, at best, only known through hearsay. Of course, he will feel unbearably burning jealousy when he sees someone who can touch you so easily while Rui stays in the background. And this type of jealousy is a thousand times worse than the one he literally feels toward anyone who has the privilege of touching you.
In a relationship with Rui, you should be quite careful about how you interact with other men, as Rui finds himself in an extremely vulnerable position that has been exacerbated by your relationship since he suddenly has even more to lose than before. Since he already feels guilty about being in a relationship with you when you should ideally be with someone who can offer you more than he can, he will never openly reveal his feelings to spare you what he considers an inappropriate guilty conscience. Nevertheless, his jealousy will inevitably reflect in his mood and won’t escape your trained eye. When confronted about it, Rui will admit his jealousy but assure you that you don’t need to worry about him because you haven’t done anything wrong, and it’s solely his problem. At this point, it doesn’t really matter how you react, whether you change your behavior towards the person involved or not. Unfortunately, the damage is already done for Rui.
On the other hand, Rui makes a tremendous effort not to give the impression that he’s still acting the same way as before your relationship or even before his curse. However, flirting is just too natural for him, so he can’t always suppress it, even if he doesn’t really think anything of it. He will quickly realize if he has crossed a line in your eyes and immediately backtrack. He would never hold your jealousy against you, as he’s self-aware enough to admit that it is absolutely justified, even if he would never go too far.
As far as it’s in his power, he will unobtrusively try to communicate to every woman that he is more than happily taken. So, never be too angry with him. He really is doing his best.
Ed
The elegant vampire is not so easily made jealous, especially since you certainly know what kind of dangerous man you’ve gotten yourself into. He’s also a bit too old and experienced to be overwhelmed by such feelings. However, he absolutely will not tolerate attention-seeking and obvious rivals who come a little too close to you.
Let’s be honest: Ed is a drama queen and has no sense of shame. So brace yourself for a performance worthy of an Oscar. “So you want to abandon your poor, sick lover? You would just leave me to certain death?” While speaking in a dramatic tone, he physically pushes his rival away with his back and throws himself around your neck after letting out some truly serious coughs. “Haven’t I given you all my attention and love? Haven’t I satisfied you to your utmost delight every single time? What have I done wrong?” Before you can even sink into the ground out of embarrassment, he begins passionately kissing along your neck until he eventually reaches your mouth. If you don’t push him away, he will continue this act until you both find yourselves in a rather compromising position in front of everyone present, while he gains access to your mouth with his tongue. If that’s not one of your kinks, you should definitely reject him and dramatically declare that he is your great love and has absolutely nothing to fear. He will only be satisfied once you’ve embarrassed yourselves so thoroughly in front of everyone that no one would ever think of getting too close to his prey girlfriend again. But if we’re being more honest, that’s definitely better than the scenario where your supposed rival suddenly disappears from campus and is never seen again.
Conversely, Ed loves to flirt for his life. It’s in his nature to wrap his prey around his finger so they willingly give him whatever he desires. Fortunately, his interest in other people is quite limited, so you will rarely see him interacting with anyone else besides Lyca and Rui. However, if situations do arise that provoke jealousy in you, Ed will definitely notice it immediately. And he will exploit it.
He loves you fiercely. You can be assured of this when he enters into a relationship with you. However, he remains a man who loves exaggeration. So, if he observes changes in your behavior that indicate jealousy, he will ride that feeling until he pushes your patience to the limit, leaving you with no choice but to explode and confront him. Just as in the case where you “made him jealous,” he will fairly pull the reverse show and swear his sincere love to you in the most emotional way you can imagine, immediately sending the lady (?) he was just with to hell. He will then hope that you will throw yourself around him, just the way he loves it.
Lyca
For Lyca, the concept of a relationship is quite new, and he must first learn to cope with the new emotions that have opened up to him since then and learn to assign individual feelings. This also includes jealousy. However, it is unlikely that it will quickly become a part of his portfolio, as physical contact is something natural for him and merely a sign of affection. He must first understand that this affection can indeed go deeper before he begins to worry about other guys.
Once he learns what distinguishes a relationship from a good friendship, he will indeed feel that uncomfortable tightness in his chest when he sees you with someone (like Ed) who develops in his new definition of appropriateness. Instead of observing or addressing you about it, he will impulsively take action and confront your perceived rival. “Hey, why are you so close to her? She already has a boyfriend, got it?!” Despite Lyca’s heated mood, the situation can quickly and calmly be resolved, as he will listen to your explanations and apologize if he has indeed overreacted (which is quite likely at the beginning). After all, he is still learning, and everything takes time.
In the unlikely event that Lyca interacts with girls that provoke jealousy in you, he will only acknowledge your feelings if you openly communicate them. A changed mood will otherwise simply be dismissed as “women are just unnecessarily complicated.”
“Huh, why are you thinking such silly thoughts? Look.” He will immediately wrap his arms around you and give you an unexpected kiss on the mouth. “Do you think I would want to do that with someone else?” However, Lyca takes your feelings seriously enough that he will adjust his behavior toward the individuals involved in the future. Whatever has caused your jealousy will now be stamped as “inappropriate in a relationship.”
Yuri
The great and exalted Yuri Isami would never feel such a base emotion as jealousy. Where do you think you’re going?! It’s not as if he has no experience with relationships and therefore cannot assess what behavior toward others is normal and what isn’t. No, no. He has much more important things to do than pay attention to your leisure activities. As if he would care how close that one guy gets to you, how casually he places his hand on your shoulder, or the way he looks at you. As if Yuri would even give a thought to whether he’s coming so close that the guy can smell your delicately fragrant perfume, which Yuri loves, or whether you give that guy the same charming smile you give Yuri every time you finally see each other again after a long, work-filled day. Really. Completely beneath his dignity.
So if he asks you who that dishonorable worm is that you’ve been spending so much time with lately or about whom you’ve mentioned one too many times in Yuri’s eyes, he only wants to comply with your alleged request that you should get to know each other better and participate more in each other’s lives. Even the biggest idiot on the planet wouldn’t miss the intentions behind his questions, and it’s certainly incredibly tempting to mention that he is definitely the epitome of the jealous boyfriend. But do you really want to do that to this proud man? He would deny it anyway, and dwelling on his obvious questions would probably only lead to a bad atmosphere. Just assure him that the worm is just a worm you like and that no one can compare to your knight in shining armor. But go ahead and enjoy the feeling of having completely captured this man’s heart.
If you ever feel jealous of someone Yuri is involved with, you will need to communicate it directly, as Yuri won’t quickly come to the idea that you are jealous, even if you react to him with obviously poor mood and irritation.
Even though he will feel very flattered when you confess that you are jealous, he unfortunately belongs to the type of person whose self-confidence should not be stroked too much. He will give you a lecture on how silly it is to give in to such a lowly feeling as jealousy and remind you that there is no reason for it. However, if you insist on it, he will pay more attention in the future to how he interacts with other people so that it doesn’t provoke negative feelings in you. The positive side of the story is that Yuri will then give you even more attention and become even more romantic. Because in truth, despite all his strictness, he would never want you to feel bad.
Jiro
Many of the feelings that develop in Jiro during your relationship are completely new to him. The fluttering in his chest when you’re together, the goosebumps your touch gives him, the need to feel your whole body against his skin, and also this new discomfort he feels when he sees you with another man. Generally, he doesn't mind if you spend a lot of time with other men, so it takes quite a bit of physical closeness to evoke feelings of jealousy in him.
Jiro is a pragmatic and very straightforward man. When he observes a situation where you get close enough to another person to provoke jealousy in him, he will first carefully watch both you and himself until he is sure that he can't dispel his insecurity on his own. So be prepared for questions later like, “Is there a special reason why you’re so close?”, “Am I no longer evoking romantic feelings in you, so you've reconsidered our relationship?”, “Is it normal to have multiple lovers?”
Since Jiro is quite an attractive man who works with numerous patients, it won’t be uncommon for him to interact closely with them, and some examinations may take a while. He will never think anything of it and will never come to the idea that you might think something of it either. It’s his job to take care of his patients. Nothing more, nothing less.
The only exception might be if he has experienced jealousy himself beforehand. In that case, he will have taken note of the trigger and will make sure to avoid giving you the same feeling. Therefore, he will closely observe you in this scenario, and at the slightest hint that you might be jealous, he will come to you and directly remind you that you don’t need to worry. Even if you’re not actually jealous. If he hasn't experienced jealousy yet, you will need to directly address your feelings with him and probably explain them in detail so that he can understand, which will likely result in a very awkward conversation for you. And no, he won’t really be able to understand it, as he will never see a reason for jealousy from his perspective. Nevertheless, he will then try to avoid the behavior that triggers those uncomfortable feelings in you.
#tokyo debunker#tokyo debunker x reader#tokyo debunker headcanon#kaito fuji#haku kusanagi#jin kamurai#tohma ishibashi#lucas errant#sho haizono#leo kurosagi#alan mido#towa otonashi#haru sagara#ren shiranami#subaru kagami#zenji kotodama#rui mizuki#edward hart#lyca colt#yuri isami#jiro kirisaki#taiga hoshibami#romeo lucci#ritsu shinjo
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i see all these comments talking about this after the new episode, but. i would like to state for the record that stolitz isn't. toxic.
first off, the concept of a toxic and a healthy relationship are such... vague terms. when you're online, drenched in language and tight moral boundaries, trying to put a nuanced story like helluva boss's into boxes is easy to attempt and impossible to do.
a toxic relationship is one where one or both parties is maliciously affecting the other. I'm talking fetid, nasty, rude interactions where there is more hurt than love. they're unhappy more often than not when they're with their partner, there's no respect or give from the other side.
stolitz is nothing like that.
Stolas actively cares about Blitz and actually has no fear or hesitation in ADMITTING IT OUT LOUD TO OZZIE. he has been calling, texting, commenting, laughing and finding ways to spend time with Blitz. he's throwing everything he has to the wind, finding the courage to move forward with the divorce, putting everything he has into trying to keep him. he's been alone in a palace since he was born, on medication, with such less people dear to him that he remembered the circus boy who spent a day with him DECADES ago- so when blitz comes into his life and brings back in laughter and color and sex, he's holding on with everything he's got.
and blitz does care!!! he cares a LOT, the whole series we see him falling in love with stolas through SHOW NOT TELL (his expressions, his choices, his fear, his lashing out) and utterly unable to process that stolas cares about him too when talking to fizz; almost a desperate kind of denial-
cause yknow. the first time he tried to confess something to someone he really liked, he accidentally killed half the people he knew and ruined the lives of the rest?
thats gonna leave just a teensy impact on the will to express your emotions in the future, methinks.
even before that, he clearly felt like on some level that he was unworthy and he's said twice that he despises himself for the accident even though it wasn't actually his fault. being self aware doesn't stop the emotions from emotioning.
he keeps insisting its only sex so urgently to anyone who doesn't ask because he can't even imagine it being anything else. he's both disappointed and relieved when he repeats that stolas sees him as a novelty, because what else can it be?
(there's a whole other spiel of how brave both Stolas and Blitz have to be to say it out loud even when asmodeus can't afford to, considering how publically and completely beaten down both were at the club.)
(there's also another whole spiel about how frustrating it has been for ME to see all these comments over time with such bad takes based on like,, 20 min worth of info of a show that takes months to release an ep. like godDAMN have some patience?? let the story UNFOLD MAYBE? IT WAS ALWAYS GOING TO HAVE AN EXPLANATION WHY WOULD YOU CRITICIZE THINGS THAT ARENT EVEN FINISHED ESPECIALLY AN INDIE ANIMATION- i digress)
mind you, this has NOTHING to do with abuse. an abusive relationship is one where one is actively harming the other with full awareness. Stella is an abuser and their marriage is abusive.
and stolitz isn't that; it isn't even unhealthy or toxic. it's a consensual, transactional fuckbuddy relationship that slid into something more for both of them.
but!!!!! one of the main reasons for the problems that everyone looks over is-
they're in a BDSM relationship.
I can't possibly delve into dynamics without making this a 10k research paper BUT even though we've gotten only hints and costumes and dialogue- they're very clearly and undeniably in a BDSM contract. Behind the scenes of this crazy show is a whole different story, of these two delving into the most hardcore kinks out there- knifeplay, painplay, bondage.
if you've gotten into the community, if you've read a couple dozen particularly good fics by authors who know what they're talking about, hell; even if your only experience is fifty shades or 365 or whatever- you gotta know that BDSM scenes are crazy fucking emotionally heavy. there's so much that has gone down between them during their full moons that helluva can't get into!!
but you know how in so many of these popular medias and fics, the dom in the relationship is also like,, the billionaire/mafia heir/prince, etc, the one with financial and physical power? this isnt that. it has been very clearly stated that stolas is subbing, blitz is domming.
now take a moment and think about how much that fucks up the dynamics.
in stolas' eyes, blitz is a confident, dangerous individual who's an old friend and cherished memory of his, who he's trusted wholly with his safety during sex and he's lucky to have; and he has been in an abusive arranged marriage for the past eighteen Years, he's probably not going to be pushing his luck with his dom that much in the first place. plus, blitz is never cowed by him during their conversations- think back to the first phone call right after he stole the book, completely unafraid.
and for blitz, it's someone trusting him again- but it's also a royal- a blue blood who's nearly untouchable and so much more powerful- who couldn't possibly like a piece of shit like him, apart from the sex he gets out of it. he only flirts once he gets some sort of cue from Stolas; he's desperately trying to view this as only a Goetia trying to get his rocks off, despite all the evidence to the contrary, because anything else is unfathomable to him, no matter how clearly Stolas shows it, because of the ptsd.
both of them thinks the other has the power. both of them aren't expecting the other to keep shut if something's bothering them.
and there's so much conflicting messages from the other too!
stolas calls him a plaything when trying to intimidate the humans; stolas cups his face gently and asks if he's alright
blitz asks him on a date and tells him to get better soon; blitz yells that it's only sex and doesn't reply to his messages
ya see?
bring it to fizzozzie for a second now; even though they do look all good on surface, you can still see fizz's trauma and doubt in all their interactions, they're still forced to keep the relationship secret. do you see his face when Ozzie says in hyperbole that he's never leaving the house again, or when someone accuses him of being a pampered house pet or when he got sexualized in the 7th ep? whatever happened in the interim between the accident with mammon, it fucked him UP. even though oz seems to be well aware of this when he tells him not to apologise and in their general interactions, fizz still visibly has trouble separating plaything/commodity from healthy relationship.
shout the fuck out to Ozzie btw, man knows whats UP. rooting for these two so much omg.
i forgot where I was going with this point, I'll edit it when i remember. but yeah! lovely fucking relationship, but damn what angst filled issues.
anyway, to sum up- stolitz is not a toxic relationship. the relationship is stuck sludging through misunderstandings and careless microaggressions and trauma responses, but it's not unhealthy or toxic because of the simple reason that most of the current hurt comes from... a misunderstanding. stolas didn't realise blitz would need reassurance about what they were and blitz didn't see stolas as someone who could get hurt.
unecessarily calling it toxic, even online, is more impactful than people think too. almost all spindlehorse ARE on all social medias; so MANY YouTube animators i know have found jobs there; they see your words, especially since a lot don't tag posts with "anti hb" correctly to keep them out of the main tag. there are Very few queer medias made BY queer people that haven't gone through heavy corporate revisions- helluva boss is practically a historical landmark in its success. it's very very very fucking easy to forget that not ten years ago some of the only queer videos on YouTube were butter lover (one kiss at the end post credits), dirty paws and welcome to hell (subtext).
the amount of "critical talk" helluva boss gets for what it is is very unprecedented. it's a beautiful show. can't wait for the next episode.
#helluva boss#stolas#blitz#stolitz#fizzarolli#helluva boss ozzie#okay im gonna make SO much content but i had to get this off my chest first#because so many people were like omg fizzozzie is so healthy stolitz take a lesson!!#and theres so much more nuance to it thats its so. frustrating to see a statement like that#meta#anyways#i love this fucjing show
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sorry what do you mean by eddie & shannon being a classic military couple?
Sorry it's been a minute, but this got away from me.
So military couples are notorious for getting married very young and very quickly for the benefits, and they’re also notorious for their relationships failing and getting divorced.
They skip the time usually spent building a solid foundation and partnership, and jump straight into marriage. Then if deployment comes up, one of them leaves for an extended period of time. This leads to a lot of relationships where sex is the only area where they’re compatible, because they’re both growing as people completely separate from each other. They’re handling different stresses, different schedules, sometimes completely different realities, until they’re finally reunited and a lot of the common ground they built their early relationship on isn’t there anymore. So they focus on the good things to keep things going because it’s easier, which is often sex.
Sound familiar?
Eddie and Shannon both said that they were always good at sex, but that’s about it. They never learned how to work as partners before they got married and became parents, and with Eddie deployed almost straight out of basic and overseas for half of their marriage, they never got the chance. Even just communicating was a struggle; anytime they tried to broach a difficult subject, it devolved into a yelling.
Like the fight about Eddie reenlisting:
Readjusting to civilian life is always rough, even with a really solid support system and no PTSD. Not just coming back to safety from danger, but while you're deployed, everything is relatively "simple". Even if you’re in a warzone and seeing combat, everything else is handled for you—food, clothing, medical, housing, etc. Coming back to suddenly having to worry about rent and paying for the dentist and grocery shopping and feeding the kids and getting them to school is a big adjustment and it can be overwhelming.
So is coming back after a year and really realizing how much of your family's life you missed. They handled things without you, your kids grew and changed without you—you don't even know what you missed but you know you're out of sync, and it can be incredibly isolating. Reenlisting to get back to the familiar and "simple" life of the military isn’t uncommon.
Eddie didn't even know how to hold his son, let alone process the CP diagnosis, and all the bills and headaches of everyday life on top of that. Shannon was used to the bills and headaches and wanted him back so she wouldn’t have to handle it all alone, but he was so incredibly overwhelmed and disconnected that reenlisting was, in his mind, the way to solve a lot of those problems. (It’s also possible he got a pretty good bonus for reenlisting, which it sounds like they really needed, and Eddie was raised to do whatever it takes to provide.)
Then the welcome home party:
This comes with all the same problems as the reenlisting argument, but this time with more trauma and no exit strategy because Eddie was shot multiple times and discharged. The only way he's been able to "be a man and provide" for his family is unavailable, and he's clearly struggling with feeling useless and out of his depth.
Each member of his family in that scene puts pressure on common points of stress of returning from deployment:
Helena's on him for not knowing how to care for Christopher, and everything he’s missed while he was away.
Ramon's proudly holding up the symbol of his trauma and reciting the certificate, lauding the job Eddie can't do anymore.
Shannon's clearly been living for the day he gets back so she wouldn’t have to do it all alone anymore and they could get out of Texas. It was her light at the end of the tunnel, and she wants to get out of there as soon as possible.
None of them were being intentionally malicious, but Eddie constantly downplays everything about his military service ("I was just doing my job" / "I just did what anyone else would do") so none of his family really knew what he went through or how much it affected him. He came home pretending he was fine, so they expected him to be fine. Maybe they wanted him to be fine so they didn’t see how much he wasn’t.
This is a really common problem for combat veterans and their families. They don’t want to think about what they’ve been through so they shove their medals in a box in the closet. They don't want to talk about it because their family won't understand or they don't want to go into the gory details, maybe they feel ashamed, or maybe they just aren’t ready to revisit it yet. But by not talking about it at all, the disconnect grows and they feel more alienated from their family, who has no idea how much they're struggling so they don’t know how to help, or even that they need help.
And Eddie’s clearly struggling in that scene, literally backed into a corner, snapping that he needs time because he doesn't know how to say that he can't handle up and moving to another state on top of everything else he's still not adjusting to. He probably can't even admit that he's not adjusting because this stuff should be easy and everyone else can get his son a drink, but he can’t even do that right. He was an incredibly competent and capable soldier and medic, and now he doesn’t even know where the juice boxes are.
But to Shannon, who doesn't know what he's feeling, he's being stubborn and dismissive of what she needs and everything she's been dealing with alone. And again, they never learned how to tackle these kinds of issues without fighting each other.
They were both at the end of their rope, and had similar responses that were incompatible with each other. Eddie dug in where it felt familiar and safe to him, in El Paso with his family nearby. Shannon retreated to where she could feel safe: LA, with her mom, where she wouldn't have someone correcting everything she did and constantly breaking her down further. It's possible she had her own support system there that she'd been largely cut off from while in Texas.
It's also not uncommon for a returning soldier to get boxed out of childcare and family decisions; their partner has gotten so used to handling it on their own that it can feel like they aren’t needed anymore. But sometimes the opposite happens: their partner has gotten so overwhelmed handling it all on their own that they end up dumping it on the returning soldier, like what happened when Shannon left. She was able to get away and breathe without everything on her shoulders, but then it all fell on Eddie who was already struggling with the basics.
Combine all of that with the stigma of PTSD within the military and so many soldiers willfully ignoring the symptoms, the way Eddie was raised to “brush it off, keep moving forward”, and Eddie’s very internal, freeze response PTSD symptoms where he just kind of shuts down and tries to stay where it’s safe, and you’ve got a dude silently drowning in Texas until he’s forced to make a move because his parents want custody of his son.
Most of this came from the book I Always Sit with My Back to the Wall, which again, seems like the instructions Eddie was built from.
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Pick a Card:Whats Next in your Love Life? Pick a Guitarist
Left to Right Top Row- Pile 1->Pile 2 Left to Right Bottom Row- Pile 3-> Pile 4
[Bonus: Keanu Reeves Gifs for each pile]
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Pile 1: The Lovers, The Magician, The Star
Drawing The Lovers suggests that aligning yourself with the energy of love is crucial. This card signifies not only romantic love but also harmony and balance within yourself. It's essential to cultivate self-love and embrace your own worth. By loving and respecting yourself, you naturally attract similar energy from others. The Lovers also hint at making a significant choice in love, suggesting that being clear about what you want in a partner and relationship can draw the right person into your life.
The Magician card indicates that you have the power and resources within you to attract love. This card is a reminder that you can create your reality through focused intention and action. Utilize your skills, talents, and personal power to manifest the love you desire. The Star, as the final card in this pile, offers hope and reassurance. It suggests that by staying optimistic and keeping faith in the process, you can attract a fulfilling and beautiful love into your life. Healing past wounds and maintaining a positive outlook will set the stage for new romantic opportunities.
The Adventurous Partner
Loves Travel and Exploration: Always ready for the next adventure, whether it's a weekend road trip or an international journey.
Spontaneous: Enjoys making last-minute plans and trying new activities.
Outgoing and Sociable: Thrives in social settings and enjoys meeting new people.
Active Lifestyle: Prefers outdoor activities and physical challenges, such as hiking, biking, or water sports.
Optimistic and Open-minded: Approaches life with a positive attitude and a willingness to embrace new experiences.
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Pile 2: The Empress, Two of Cups, Ace of Pentacles
The Empress card represents abundance, beauty, and nurturing energy. To attract love, embody the qualities of the Empress by nurturing yourself and others, and by creating a warm and inviting environment. This card encourages you to tap into your feminine energy, regardless of gender, and to focus on self-care and personal growth. The Empress also suggests that you might find love through activities that involve creativity, nature, or caregiving.
The Two of Cups signifies the possibility of a new romantic connection or deepening an existing relationship. It is a card of partnership and mutual attraction. By being open to connections and putting yourself in situations where you can meet new people, you increase your chances of encountering someone special. The Ace of Pentacles indicates a new beginning in the material realm, suggesting that practical steps towards building a secure and stable life can attract love. This could mean focusing on career or financial goals, creating a solid foundation for a future relationship.
The Intellectual Partner
Highly Educated: Values learning and often engaged in intellectual pursuits.
Curious and Inquisitive: Always eager to explore new ideas and deepen their understanding of various topics.
Excellent Communicator: Enjoys deep conversations and can articulate their thoughts clearly and thoughtfully.
Ambitious and Goal-Oriented: Driven to achieve their professional and personal goals.
Thoughtful and Analytical: Makes decisions based on careful consideration and analysis.
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Pile 3: The Hermit, Queen of Cups, Knight of Pentacles
The Hermit card suggests that attracting love into your life might require a period of introspection and solitude. This time alone is meant for self-discovery and understanding what you truly want and need in a relationship. By gaining clarity about your desires and values, you can attract a partner who aligns with your true self. The Hermit encourages you to be patient and trust that the right person will come when you are ready.
The Queen of Cups represents emotional depth, intuition, and compassion. Embracing these qualities within yourself can help you attract a partner who appreciates and reciprocates them. This card encourages you to be open to expressing your feelings and to nurture your emotional well-being. The Knight of Pentacles emphasizes the importance of patience and consistency. Attracting love might require steady, deliberate effort, such as gradually building a friendship that can evolve into something more. Focus on creating a stable and dependable environment that will naturally draw a like-minded partner to you.
The Nurturing Partner
Empathetic and Compassionate: Highly sensitive to the feelings of others and always ready to offer support and comfort.
Family-Oriented: Values close relationships with family and friends and prioritizes these connections.
Patient and Understanding: Exhibits great patience and a deep understanding of human emotions and behaviors.
Loyal and Reliable: Extremely dependable and trustworthy, always there when you need them.
Gentle and Kind: Treats everyone with kindness and respect, creating a warm and loving environment.
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Pile 4: The Fool, Page of Cups, Ten of Pentacles
The Fool card suggests that attracting love into your life might involve taking a leap of faith and being open to new experiences. Embrace spontaneity and be willing to step out of your comfort zone. This card encourages you to approach love with a sense of adventure and a fresh perspective. By being open-minded and willing to take risks, you can attract exciting and unexpected romantic opportunities.
The Page of Cups represents new beginnings in love and emotional openness. It encourages you to be playful, creative, and receptive to the messages your heart is sending you. By embracing a youthful and optimistic attitude towards love, you can attract positive and heartwarming connections. The Ten of Pentacles indicates that focusing on long-term stability and building a strong foundation can help you attract love. This card suggests that envisioning a future filled with abundance, security, and family can draw a partner who shares these values. Creating a vision for your ideal relationship and working towards it can manifest the love you seek.
The Creative Partner
Artistic and Imaginative: Possesses a strong creative streak, whether in the arts, music, writing, or other creative fields.
Passionate and Expressive: Lives life with passion and isn’t afraid to show their emotions and express themselves.
Innovative Thinker: Comes up with unique and unconventional solutions to problems.
Appreciates Beauty: Has a keen eye for beauty in the world, from nature to art and design.
Open-Minded and Flexible: Welcomes different perspectives and adapts easily to change.
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#tarot cards#pick a card#pick a pile#pick a photo#guitarist#pick a guitarist#tarot reading#tarot#pick a card reading#love reading#future predictions#future spouse reading#future partner#pick one
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how do you make a couple fight without completely cementing the relationship as toxic? what do 'healthy' couples even fight about???
as someone with zero experience regarding arguing with someone whom i didn't immediately cut off afterward because of how it was handled, i've struggled with writing this concept forever 😭
send help pls :')
Every couple fights. Fights and disagreements are a part of a relationship just as much harmony and agreement. It's highly unlikely that there is a person with whom you always agree on every aspect. So, sooner or later you'll reach a point of disagreement and that can be about anything really.
A lot of couple fights are about the most trite things. Who does the dishes? Why doesn't the other want to do me that favour? No, I never said that. You must remember it wrong.
We are the most honest and blunt but also the most vulnerable with the people closest to us. That makes siblings fight a lot and it often makes couples fight more than good friends. Paired with love, these fights don't have to make a relationship toxic. Partners fight about whose turn it is to do the dishes. One ends up having to do it, and the other thanks them for it, promising to do it the next time. I think what is important when writing a 'healthy' fight is to show that even when they fight they still care a lot about the other. If it's a bigger fight, they're thinking about the other a lot afterwards. They feel bad about it afterwards, they're thinking about how the other feels now, they don't like making the other feel bad, they're crushed to find out that they're causing the other's misery. Their heart can't be at peace until they've apologised and made up.
Another sign of a healthy relationship is that minor fights aren't a rarity but are handled well. They can fight about the TV remote and it's not giving their relationship a crack or making them doubt their partner's love. Communication that is well-balanced between two partners and supports a symmetrical relationship doesn't exclude arguments but makes them a means to a functioning life together.
I made a few prompt lists about couples fighting and they are all meant to apply to healthy relationships. Here is an excerpt from a prompt list about minor fights to give you an example.
1. A: "I wanted this cookie!" B: "But there is another one." A: "That's not the one I want." 2. A: "Stop looking at me so weird!" B: "That's just how I look!" 3. A: "That's nonsense! I didn't hug you less than usual!" B: "Yes, you did! Don't try to trick me! I know exactly how long you're hugging me usually and this hug wasn't the same. So I don't approve of it as a real hug. Again!" 4. A: "Get me the remote, please." B: "Why don't you get it?" A: "I asked you a favour!" 5. A: "But it's my turn!" B: "No, it was your turn last time!" A: "That's not true! I remember it clearly!" the full prompt list: ~ FIGHTING OVER SILLY STUFF ~ OTP PROMPTS
other prompt lists about a couple arguing:
~ ARGUING LIKE AN OLD MARRIED COUPLE ~ DIALOGUE PROMPTS
~ FIGHTS OVER A GIFT ~ DIALOGUE PROMPTS
~ JEALOUSY, JEALOUSY ~ PROMPTS (this could turn toxic but you can use most of these for healthy couples)
I hope this helps you. I realised I just rambled a lot; hopefully, it makes sense :)
#how to write healthy arguments#writing advice#writing inspiration#writing ideas#writers on tumblr#writeblr#otp arguing prompts#arguing prompts#argument prompts#fighting prompts#writing prompts
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There's a post on r/relationship_advice about a young woman whose boyfriend asked her if his was the biggest penis she'd ever had sex with. She told him objectively no, but that bigger penises hurt her physically and make sex painful and unenjoyable, and his penis is perfect for her.
The boyfriend has been obsessed with this answer since, repeatedly demanding reassurance from her and constantly revisiting the topic even when she becomes frustrated. She describes one time they were on a call and she hadn't slept, and he was keeping her up at 5 literal AM making her reassure him about his penis.
This is how she frames the issue--shocker:
The responsibility being hers, to "do enough" to help her incredibly insecure and in-need-of-therapy man to get over an issue that she did not cause.
Men are being incredibly normal about it in the comments and making sure we know how severely oppressed and harmed they are by penis size comparisons:
Of course, further up in the selfsame post, there are multiple comments from women talking about how they dislike big penises, how their best lovers were indifferent to size; there are even men talking about how they're average-sized or small but have long-term female partners who love their bodies.
This generous male individual commented multiple times, but expressly stated that he didn't even finish reading the post:
His additional comment elsewhere:
In case it's unclear, the basic thesis of OldSoulMillenialMan's comment is that all men have a deep and profound insecurity around their penises, and need, emotionally, to hear "your penis is so huge, I'm terrified of it, it's going to ruin me, it's the biggest ever" from their women on this issue.
Putting the whole emotional labor aspect of this post aside, I took away a few key findings.
Despite women commonly and frequently remarking that they like average-sized penises, not just in "coed" communities like relationship subreddits, but in female-centric communities like the TwoXChromosomes subreddit, etc (which are all full of men, often moderated by men, and are definitely trolled, brigaded, and read by men, given how often women are solicited via DM from their posts in female-centric subreddits), men simply do not believe them, and believe there is no parallel for the "body positive" movement for them--the "body positive" movement which was begun by women, for women. The implication, here as always, is that the onus is on women to provide positivity for men, to provide help and comfort for men, to fix men's problems for them. Men never generate an internal movement directed at each other in order to heal the wounds they experience that center on maleness and manhood. They only ever want women to do the work for them. (There is also 0 recognition of how the "body positive" movement as such has been completely co-opted for profit by the beauty and fashion industries; nor any recognition of how beauty standards for women have actually intensified in the past 5-10 years.)
Men's insecurities around their penises and penis size can only be balmed by knowing that they're big enough to scare a woman, that they're big enough to "ruin" a woman. This really highlights the function of sex for men and the interpersonal function of the penis in heterosexual relationships: the function being penis as weapon. The penis is not just a genital organ a man happens to have, which he happens to use for pleasurable sex with his female partner. The desire is to use his penis to harm her. He wants his penis to be the penis that makes her suffer, that makes her scared and worried she cannot bodily accommodate him, that makes her "ruined" by the sheer size and suffering he causes with his penis. As feminists have discussed for a long time, this is a fundamental element of hetero male sexuality. "Fuck" is not just a word that means "to have sex"; "you're fucked," "fuck you," and other uses of the term clearly outline how to be "fucked" is conceptualized as an aggressive, violent, and degrading thing. Even when men are in loving partnerships with women, their deep-rooted desire is to be the ultimate violation and degradation their female partner experiences, because that is the meaning of sex to them.
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Mental Safety in BDSM
It’s your Gentle Domme Kalita here, and today we’re diving into an incredibly important topic: mental safety in BDSM. While the physical aspects of BDSM often receive a lot of attention, it’s crucial not to overlook the emotional and psychological dynamics that play a vital role in creating a safe and fulfilling experience. Whether you’re a seasoned practitioner or just beginning your journey, understanding mental safety can enhance your experiences and build stronger connections. Let’s explore together!
Understanding Mental Safety
Mental safety refers to the emotional well-being of all participants in a BDSM dynamic. It encompasses feelings of trust, respect, and the ability to freely express thoughts and boundaries. Feeling mentally safe is just as important as physical safety, and both should be prioritized for a genuinely enjoyable experience.
1. Open Communication
The cornerstone of mental safety in BDSM is communication. Here’s how to cultivate an open dialogue:
Pre-Scene Conversations: Before you engage in any BDSM activities, have a thorough discussion with your partner(s) to talk about desires, limits, and expectations. This dialogue helps to establish trust and ensures everyone is on the same page.
Discuss Aftercare Needs: Talk about what you might need emotionally after a scene. Some people prefer cuddling and reassurance, while others may want a bit of space. Understanding your partner’s needs fosters safety and connection.
Check-Ins: During a scene, establish a method for checking in with one another. This can be verbal, using safe words, or through non-verbal cues. Continually affirming comfort and consent is essential.
2. Setting Boundaries
Boundaries are crucial in maintaining mental safety:
Define Limits: Clearly communicate what is acceptable and what crosses a line. This step may include discussing hard limits (non-negotiable) and soft limits (areas that may be explored with caution).
Create Safe Words: Establishing safe words is fundamental. Use a straightforward system like "red" for stop and "yellow" for slow down/check-in. This clarity helps alleviate stress, enabling everyone to focus on the experience rather than worrying about crossing boundaries.
3. Understanding Consent
Consent is not just a one-time agreement but an ongoing conversation:
Enthusiastic Consent: Ensure that consent is given enthusiastically and willingly. Everyone involved should feel positive about participation and the activities planned.
Revoking Consent: Teach participants that it’s okay to change their minds and revoke consent at any time. Understanding that it’s not just the scene but the emotional state that is constant means feeling empowered to speak up if something doesn’t feel right.
4. Aftercare: A Key Component
Aftercare is essential for mental safety and emotional recovery following BDSM activities:
Nurturing Connection: Spend time together post-scene, engaging in cuddles, sweet words, or any comforting activities that reinforce trust and intimacy. Aftercare helps to settle emotional highs and lows after an intense experience.
Discussing the Scene: Talk about what went well and what could improve in the future. Sharing feelings and experiences can provide closure and understanding, enhancing the connection for future sessions.
Self-Care: Encourage practicing self-care routines post-play, whether that involves winding down alone, journaling, or bathing. Engaging in self-love reinforces mental well-being.
5. Recognizing Emotional Triggers
Understanding emotional triggers is crucial for maintaining mental safety:
Identify Triggers: Before engaging in BDSM, participants should discuss any personal emotional triggers they may have. This knowledge ensures that certain situations or actions do not invoke unintended distress.
Create a Safety Plan: If a moment comes when someone feels overwhelmed or triggered, having a plan in place—like a trusted safe word—helps mitigate potential emotional difficulties.
6. Education and Exploration
Knowledge is empowering when it comes to BDSM:
Take Time to Learn: Engage in readings, workshops, or discussions focused on BDSM principles. Educating yourself about different dynamics enhances understanding and emotional intelligence.
Attend Communities or Forums: Participate in local BDSM communities or online forums where you can openly discuss ideas, experiences, and concerns without judgment.
✨ Join Me for More Nurturing Adventures!
Are you ready to delve deeper into the beautiful world of BDSM while prioritizing your mental safety? I invite you to join me in my live camming sessions, where we can discuss these important concepts, share experiences, and create a supportive community that embraces exploration and self-discovery.
👉 CHECK MY BIO! 💖
#gentle domination#female led relationship#gentle d0m#gentle fdom#goodboy#soft fem dom#good boy#femdxm#dom mommy#bd/sm kink#mental health#positive mental attitude#femme fatale#fem domme#female dominance#domme mommy#aftercare#dirty talk#consent#sex ed#boundaries#communication
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with me + part five
authors notes: hi! you guys are so freaking awesome and sweet and like gawww, so grateful for such kind words and support!
so i realized that i used the wwe names for jimmy, jey, naomi, etc. that was my bad. i'll be using their real names moving forward for the sake of flow and consistency.
also keep forgetting to state that current timeline is 2023. like, this chapter is fall 2023. everything, so far, post breakup for joe and reader has been 2023. i plan to follow that timeline, so make of that what you will.
i hope this chapter isn't too boring to people!
warnings: fluff, language, suggestive content
song inspo: with me by destiny’s child
words: 5.7k
tags: @pixiedust4000 @southerngirl41 @yolobloggers @msbigredmachine @wonderingfashion
“So, are we just going to continue to ignore each other?”
You’re not sure how, but you sense his presence long before he even says anything. And instantly, your mood is dampened, not that you were in the best spirits to begin with. You didn’t get much sleep the night before, for reasons you cannot fathom. But, it’s annoying as hell, especially when you have an ex turned fuck buddy who can’t seem to get a fucking clue ready to confront you outside of your daughter's preschool.
Sighing heavily, you pull out your phone to play around with your lock screen, because you really don’t have anyone you need to message in this moment. But, he doesn’t need to know that. “Not now, Amir.”
“Because you’re so busy?”
“Because I don’t care.” One thing you’ve learned about yourself over the years is that once you’re annoyed with someone, there’s no filter on your mouth and you cannot be held liable for what comes out of it. “Now, please, go away.”
He just looks at you, sun shining down on his waves and chocolate complexion. It’s unfortunate outside of his looks that he’s an overall trash partner. Decent friend. Shitty boyfriend. “You always do that shit, you know? Pull and then push. It was kinda cute when we were kids. Now, it’s just annoying.”
You were standing outside of Callie’s preschool, waiting for the kids to be dismissed, waiting for your little girl to come running out with a smile on her face, request on the tip of her tongue. It’s usually something small like wanting to show you what she learned in school. Lately, it’s been the same.
Can I call Joe?
A part of you feels bad for the amount of calls he probably gets in one day just from Callie alone. She took your offer for her to call him whenever he was available to another degree, not that he minded. He took as many as he could, listening to her talk and talk about whatever happened to be on her mind in that moment. And you let her.
What kind of mother would you be if you stopped her from talking to her dad? Even if she doesn’t know that’s who he is.
It’s been almost two weeks since he left, and she clearly misses him. You often overhear her asking about when he’s coming again. You also receive those questions. It’s something you and him discuss via text but haven’t landed on a date yet.
Communicating with Joe is also something that’s still an adjustment. It’s not as difficult or uncomfortable, because it’s almost entirely about Callie, but still.
“If that’s the case, why do you bother?” You manage a less insensitive tone, even if you know good and well you’ve never led this man on. Amir has always heard and believed what he wanted to believe. That was the problem. He never listened to you.
“Because I fucking care about your annoying ass, duh.”
His delivery, the tone, and cadence. You laugh. It’s probably inappropriate at the moment, but it does bring a smile to his face as well. “Softie.”
He moves closer to you, arms crossed. “I’m serious, Y/N. You know how I feel about you. How I’ve always felt about you.”
Leaning against your car, you respond as calmly as you can, “and you know I’ve always made it clear I’m not looking for anything more. We had our time, Amir. It didn’t work out. Now we just help each other get off. I don’t know why you keep trying to make it more than what it is.”
“A date. One date,” he implores. A waste of time, because your answer is no. It’s been no and will continue to be no. “You haven’t even given ‘adult’ us a chance.”
There’s a headache in your near future, one that’s reminiscent of past ones only Amir seems to induce. It’s interesting how he went from indifferent asshole to clingy asshole. You almost miss the earlier version.
Chocolate was supposed to be good for the soul, so why was he so draining to yours?
“Amir…..” You try to pick your words carefully and be mindful of your tone. “This is getting real old. I think we need to stop messing around, because we’re clearly not on the same page.” The next part is something you probably shouldn’t share, but you call yourself trying to be open and clear. “Calista’s dad is back, and we’re trying to navigate coparenting, so—”
“What?” He stops you, shock written over his handsome face. “Are you serious? You’re letting that motherfucker back in ya’ll life?”
This time, it’s his tone that jumps, accusatory and harsh. You immediately grow defensive. “You don’t know him.”
“God, why do you defend him like this? Is it that Stockholm Syndrome shit? He left you. He left you and his kid. What kind of man does that? And you’re just letting him back in? Just gonna jump back on his dick? Letting him around Callie? She’s old enough now to remember when he decides to leave again. I don’t get how you don’t see that. You her mama. You supposed to look out for her.”
And now, you’re done trying to be nice, trying to be mindful that he’s still another human being with feelings. Because one thing you never have and never will tolerate is someone insinuating you’re not looking out for your daughter. You’re not perfect, but you know that you’re a devoted, dutiful mother.
“It’s obvious comprehension isn’t your strong suit, which I should have known based off the fact that I always had to help your dumbass do your homework back when we were in school.” All bets….off. “My baby? My life? My pussy? All my business. You don’t get to judge the decisions I make for my child nor the role that her father has in her life. That’s between me and him. Keep your nose out my fucking business. Don’t worry about me hitting you up anymore. That’s dead.”
Your rose will do just fine. Hell, there’s gotta be at least one other eligible bachelor in town you could fuck if absolutely need be. But, you know damn well you won’t be messaging Amir anymore. He comes with too much baggage. It’s not worth it. You refuse to let a nigga whose height starts with a 5 stress you out.
True to his nature, he starts gaslighting you. Typical Amir. “There you go overreacting and shit.”
“No, I’m not. You’re trying to question my parenting when you don’t know shit about shit.”
He sucks his teeth, rolling his eyes. This was why people used to say you had a temper in high school. Because of him. Because he loved to tell people what you said but never what he did. Always tried to make you feel crazy. Truth be told, you’re stupid for even opening that door with him again, even if it’s just for sex.
“Whatever, Y/N.” He turns to walk back over to his car. You really wish his damn sister would change her work schedule so she can pick up her son instead of this asshole. You’ll catch a case fucking with his dumbass. “I’ll wait for your text.”
He’ll be waiting. “Fuck you, Amir.”
You should be more mindful of your language at a damn preschool, but Amir has managed to get under your skin, something that hasn’t happened since you were in college. You know a good part of it is because you’re sleep deprived, but you also know it’s partially because of his dig at Joe.
You understand the optics seem to indicate that he’s a deadbeat, but you’ve expressed to Amir countless times that it was a complicated situation. He didn’t know the specifics, but you made it clear Joe didn’t abandon you or Callie. That’s just the narrative Amir keeps running with, and now with Joe being back in your life and especially in Callie’s life, you’re not gonna let it continue.
“Mommy!” Your head snaps to see and feel Callie run up to and hug her body against your leg. “Boo!”
Shit. Did she hear any of that? You hope not and paste on a smile that’s hopefully authentic enough to sell that everything is fine. “Callie Bear.” You lean down and pick her up, kissing her cheek. “Did you have a good day?”
She nods and starts explaining the activities while you buckle her into her carseat, trying your best to calm down and not give away your high stress levels in that moment. Callie is super perceptive, and you don’t want to ruin the obviously great day she’s had.
And sure enough, as you’re putting on your seatbelt and starting up the car, the golden question is shouted with pre-excitement.
“Can I call Joe when I get home?”
Smiling at her through the rearview mirror, you answer, “yes, you can.”
In the almost two weeks that have passed since Joe’s departure, not one day has passed that Callie doesn’t asks to call Joe or just outright helps yourself to her iPad to call him. Sometimes several times a day during the weekends. And she’ll talk to him for as long as she can, as long as he’s able to hold a conversation with her. You’ll give it to him, he’s done an exceptional job handling all of it. On some level, you wonder if you should set some restrictions or time parameters, but how do you limit how much a daughter interacts with her father?
Callie rejoices at your approval and requests for you to put on the Disney playlist you made specifically for her on Spotify.
The drive, no more than 10 minutes, consists of the two of you singing along to a few Disney tunes. It’s a bit of a tradition between you, a way to bond via your shared love of Disney. A love that ties not only you to her but to the women before you. Your mom and grandma.
Arriving to your apartment complex, you decide to leave your work bag in the car. It’s Thanksgiving break. You most likely won’t do any work until the day or two before having to return.
You do carry Callie on your hip and swing her bag around your shoulder, walking the two of you up to the second floor. Sometimes, you regret not accepting the apartment they had available on the first floor. The older you get, the less your joints like to cooperate, your almost 15 years of cheer probably taking a toll on your body.
And just age in general.
But your regret quickly turns to a level of gratitude when you reach your door.
“You’ve gotta be kidding me.”
Dropping Callie to the floor, she’s of the complete opposite reaction, gasping and smiling broadly.
“Look mommy, more boxes!”
The smile is strained but you manage to maintain it, sticking the key in the door, unlocking and pushing it open.
She walks in, and you place her bag on the floor near the door, one foot keeping it open. “What do you think it is?” She asks as you pick them up and bring them inside, kicking the door closed behind you.
You know exactly what it is. What it all is.
Gifts.
From Joe.
In his absence, you’ve had several deliveries waiting outside your door when you got home from work and picking Callie up. And all of them were for Callie, gifts of variable nature but all of them things she loves. Disney, stuffed animals, dolls. Essentially anything that could make a 4 year old feel like she’s won the lottery.
She’s literally bouncing on her toes, already with her kids scissors in her hands.
When the hell did she grab those?
“Can I open them, please? Please?”
A part of you wants to say no, save them for christmas gifts, though you’re almost entirely certain he’ll have another set of gifts for her then. And it seems almost cruel to make her wait over a month when she knows there are presents waiting for her.
“Sure, but….” You scamper into the kitchen and grab your adult size scissors, returning and showing her. “Let mommy cut them, and then you open them.”
You don’t need this child accidentally cutting herself. Again, medical bills are not in the budget, especially around the holidays. Money’s already tight to some extent.
Not that….not that it’d be much of an issue with Callie. You’d never fix your moth to ask Joe for anything, especially not financially, but if it was something involving your daughter, you’re pretty sure your tune would change. It would still bother you to ask for help, but you know he’d have zero qualms helping you out.
He’d probably pay for it in its entirety.
Your proposition pleases her. “Okay!” She places her scissors on the nearest flat surface and sits down, legs crossed, bouncing impatiently.
Chuckling, you glide your scissors across, careful not to open anything. You want to save that moment for her and your plan.
Once done, you place the scissors on the kitchen island and reach for your phone. “Wait before you open, baby.”
Immediately, she frowns and scowls, “whyyyyyy.”
Rolling your eyes, you sit on the floor too to be at her eye level and open Snapchat. “Okay, now.”
You hit record and watch intermittently through and outside of the screen as she opens the boxes, smile permanent and excitement palpable. She especially gets excited when she pulls out a freaking box of the new Little Mermaid and all of her sisters. More….dolls.
“Look, mommy!!!” She then grabs a doll who has a surprisingly similar complexion and curl pattern to hers, holding it against her face. “She looks like me!”
“She does,” you agree, realizing it’s a customized American Girl doll. Damn. Those things can run up to $200. You weren’t stupid, knowing Joe’s probably spent more money on Callie alone in two weeks than you’ve spent all year, but just how much has he spent?
It’s when she opens the final box, surrounded by nothing but toys and packaging that you’re already dreading having to stuff all this in your trash bin, “what do you say, baby?”
Callie hugs the American Doll close to her chest and directs to the camera, “thank you, Joe!” She gasps and adds on, “I miss you, but mommy said I can call you tonight!”
You hold back your giggle and agree, adding, “after she helps mommy clean up all this.”
Her smile drops, pout returning, “I hate cleaning.”
Snickering, you mutter, “you and me too, sis.”
You end the video, save it and enter Joe’s chat to attach the video, adding a message.
You: You’re spoiling her, Joe. 😫 This is the third delivery this week alone.
You’re able to clean up some of the packaging and throw it away before your phone chimes with his response. Callie has grabbed the amount you expected her to grab and discard. Her attention span is trash at the moment. She’s a child surrounded by toys. It’s expected.
Joe: She's my little girl. Of course, I’m gonna spoil her.
Joe: There should be another one by the weekend. If not, let me know.
You sigh aloud, this man is gonna have your place looking like freaking KB Toys.
You: Omg
You: ….You know I live in an APARTMENT, right? Just where the hell am I supposed to put all of this stuff?
It’s sweet he’s so keen on gifting her these things, but he also has to realize you’re not living in a mansion in Malibu. And despite having a child who leaves messes wherever she goes, you do your best to keep your place tidy.
If you didn’t know Joe, didn’t see how easily he connected with Callie, you’d maybe accuse him of trying to “buy” her love. But, you know that’s not the case, know that he clearly just wants to make her happy. You just hope he knows that he does that all by himself, no gifts needed.
Joe: She has a whole playroom.
You: Yes. Playroom, not Toys-R-Us.
Joe: 🤷🏽♂️
You: 🙄 You’re aggravating.
He doesn’t say anything after that, so you decide to finish cleaning because at some point your child wandered off, most likely to her playroom to add all her new stuff with her slightly new stuff. Taking advantage of the alone time, you also decide to text your mom to figure out thanksgiving plans. Specifically, what drink, dessert, and/or condiments she wants you to bring because you damn well know she won’t ask you to cook.
She still hasn’t forgiven you for that accidental fire that one year.
And it’s when you’re sitting on the sofa, also starting to think about black friday plans that your mind wanders, your anxiety grows out of nowhere.
You’ve taken the approach to not have any say in Joe’s relationship with Callie, to intervene only when absolutely necessary. And as that hasn’t hasn’t occurred, you’ve not done so. You let him and her do their thing. But a small part of you wonders if you should put some parameters around Callie. She calls him several times a day, Joe, who spends more time on the road than there are days in the year.
You know he wants to establish a relationship with her, but that can be done with boundaries. Anxiety getting the best of you, you grab your phone and shoot him a text.
You: Is it okay if she calls you today? I know it’s been a lot, and if too much, just let me know. I’ll talk to her.
His reply comes almost immediately this time around.
Joe: She can call me 100 times. I don’t care. I wanna talk to her.
And instantly, the anxiety is almost non-existent. Deep down, you know this is what he wants. He wants to have interaction with her, and incessant Facetime calls are the only option with his crazy schedule, so it’s what he takes. It’s what he wants.
Pleased and no longer stressing over an issue that was never an issue, you lock your phone and place it back at your side. A quick glance at the clock reminds you that it’s almost time for Callie’s bath.
A couple minutes later, your phone dings with a text notification. From Joe.
You open it right away.
Joe: This weekend. Don’t tell her. I wanna surprise her.
You have to read it a couple of times before it registers. He’s coming back in town. This weekend. As in less than two days. You’re excited at this, happy as well. For Callie. But also, for yourself. Why? You haven’t a clue, well, maybe there’s a slight clue, but you don’t want to acknowledge that right now.
You simply want to focus on the fact that you’re happy your daughter will be happy her dad is town.
Who cares that you will be too.
________
Joe’s just walked out the bathroom, having showered and almost entirely prepped for bed when his phone rings.
Moving over to the hotel nightstand, he’s surprised when he sees Callie’s smiling face filling his screen. A glance at the clock in the corner of his phone reads 11:06, which means it’s 9:06 her time. Well past her bedtime. What is she doing up?
Curious, and regardless, he answers the phone. It takes a second for the connection to finalize when it does, he’s instantly smiling, mostly because it’s Callie but also because of her setup.
It’s obvious she’s under a blanket, a flashlight in the corner illuminating the space, a stuffed animal in her lap.
She’s the first to speak, her voice both loud and hushed in a way only she can do. “hi!”
“Hi, sweetheart.” He can’t help but ask almost immediately, “what are you doing up?” As he told you, he’d talk to her 24/7 if he could. And even though this call is unexpected and appreciated, she’s also a 4-year-old kid who needs her sleep.
Her little shoulders lift in a shrug. “I can’t sleep.”
Nodding, he follows up with, “where’s mommy?”
“Sleeping,” she answers with a level of disappointment. “I don’t wanna wake her up. She had a bad day.”
“Really?” Joe moves around so he’s laying on the bed, on his side, phone propped on the nightstand. “How do you know?”
“Cause–cause she was yelling at Mr. Amir, and–and he was yelling at her too.”
Joe hasn’t a clue why, but that instantly upsets him. Who the fuck is this Amir person, and who the hell does he think he is to raise his voice at you? Around Callie of all people.
“Who is Mr. Amir?” Joe hates asking her all of these questions, but it’s also hard not to.
“The basketball coach at the school for big kids.” She’s caressing the fur of the stuffed animal in her lap. “Aunt Mariah said he was mommy’s boyfriend when she was a big kid.”
“Really.” It’s not really a question as much as it is a general statement. Joe doesn’t know why he’s suddenly annoyed, not with Callie, but the entire situation. And definitely this Amir person even more now. He’s an ex. He dated you. It shouldn’t make him feel any type of way, but it does, and he hates that shit.
He hates a man he’s never even met.
“I don’t like Mr. Amir,” Callie suddenly announces with a scowl. Same, kid. Same. Joe looks at her, seeing so much of you in her right now. He knows you’ve mentioned how you see a lot of him in Callie, but when she’s glowering like this, she’s 100% her mama’s daughter. “He made mommy mad today.”
“Has he ever been mean to you?” Joe has to ask, because he’s also realizing a part of him is upset at the thought of Callie being around men. You’re a grown woman and allowed to do what you want, but bringing men around Callie….that’s an absolute fucking no.
He doesn’t give a damn if he’s only been in her life for two weeks or two minutes. She’s his daughter, and outside of himself and family, who you date should be kept far away from his daughter.
Joe mentally prepares to have this conversation—potential argument—with you.
“No,” she answers, slightly calmer. “He doesn’t like Disney.” She says it like it’s a sin, like it’s almost inconceivable for anyone to not like Disney.
Playing along with this, Joe gasps, grateful for the distraction that is Callie’s intricacies. “He sucks.”
“Yeah, he sucks,” she agrees, nodding. Joe has to keep his smile to himself. “Do you say bad words?”
The randomness and topic change take him by surprise, but he’s learning that you weren’t exaggerating when you said Callie was filled with incessant, unrelated questions. “Sometimes.”
“Mommy does too,” she reveals. “Grandma says Jesus doesn’t want us to say bad words, but I heard grandma call Ms. Beverly from church a bitch.”
At that, Joe can’t help his laughter. Her delivery, the punctuation she puts on the word ‘bitch’, to how she seems to not even process that she’s just said a bad word. It’s hilarious. “Well, sometimes grown ups say things we shouldn’t, and you just make sure you’re not saying things you shouldn’t.”
“Okay,” she agrees, almost sheepishly. And then, a yawn. “I’m sleepy.”
Joe knew she was from the moment she called, but he had a feeling she just needed to get the whole Amir thing off her chest. She doesn’t seem like the child who likes to or even can hold things in, which is preferable. “You should try to go to sleep then, sweetheart.”
She wipes at her eyes, expression suddenly saddened. “When are you coming back? You’ve been gone a really long time.”
He’s torn in this moment, wanting to tell her that he’ll be there this weekend but also not wanting to get her hopes up in case something comes up. There’s few things that could come up to keep him from going to see her, wrestling be damned, but still. Life has a way of lifing. So, he goes with the safe yet disappointing answer.
“Soon, I promise.” She’s clearly indifferent to this answer and doesn’t say anything, instead shifts on her bed, moving to lay down. “You should really try to sleep, Callie.”
Eyes starting to blink, clearly her exhaustion catching up with her, she asks, softly, “will you stay with me till I fall asleep?”
Her request tugs at his heartstrings. “Of course, sweetie.”
Seemingly pleased by this answer, she closes her eyes, and he watches. He stares at this tiny human whose existence he only learned about not even a month ago yet would do anything to make happy. Joe thinks about Callie constantly, finds himself smiling at the thought of some of the Snapchat videos you’d send him of her in all of her randomness. She was so entertaining, so full of life, a genuinely happy kid. His kid.
And it’s why he’s going to find out more about this Amir guy and why Amir is having any type of interaction with his daughter.
________
Joe: You should know she called me last night.
You’re in the middle of perusing early Black Friday deals, needing to budget for that now and taking full advantage of Callie being down for a nap. However, you frown, reading his message, not understanding why he’s stating the obvious. You were there when she asked for the iPad and when she returned it after the call was finished.
You: I’m aware….
Joe: No. After that.
Your eyebrows arch together, confused.
You: What? when?
Joe: It was 11 my time, so 9 yours.
You gasp, typing away, wondering how the hell she snuck in your room and managed a whole ass Facetime call without you hearing shit. Were you really that damn exhausted?
You: What the hell was she doing up at 9? What did she say? No wonder she was crabby this morning.
Joe: She said she couldn’t sleep.
You: A bad dream?
Joe: Naw, said you got into an argument with someone named Amir earlier that day and didn’t want to bother you….I think it was bothering her.
Your stomach twists at that. You had a feeling she’d overheard the incident with Amir, but you prayed that you were wrong. Clearly, you weren’t.
Joe: Who is Amir?
You pause at Joe’s question. Why is he asking this? What business of his is Amir? Irritation washes over you, but is waned by realizing he’s probably asking because of Callie. As her father, he has a right to know if you’re with someone, because for all he knows that someone could be around his daughter.
You really are trying with this co-parenting thing.
You: A lot of things. A pain in the ass being the most recent one.
You: We dated in high school and college on and off. He’s the basketball coach at our local high school.
It’s more information than probably what’s necessary, but there’s this small, conflicting part of you that wants him to know you have no ties to Amir. That there are no feelings there and haven’t been for literal years.
That you’re not with Amir.
Joe: Are you dating him again? Why were you arguing around Callie?
The interrogating is getting old, but you’re trying to play nice. Coparent peacefully. His delivery is off, but he has valid questions.
Sorta.
You: No. We just….we fuck around from time to time. He tries to make it more than what it is. Was about that.
You: I was waiting for her to be released from pre-school, and he picks up his nephew for his sister. It just happened, and I didn’t know/mean for her to hear.
Honestly, you’re more worried and concerned about Callie and how to approach this with her without making her feel like she was in trouble. Yes, she knows damn well she shouldn’t be on the iPad that late at night, but can you really be mad at her for talking to her dad about something that upset her?
Joe: You bring him around her?
You absolutely can be mad though at her dad who’s about to make you cuss him out next too. All of the questions are becoming too much. He gets to be concerned, but he doesn’t get to micromanage and invade.
Feeling petty and recalcitrant, you type out a reply that you should probably think twice before sending.
But fuck it.
You: No. I only ride his dick at his place. 🙂
There’s a small ounce of regret for being so crude, but not a whole lot. He knows how you are, or he should, at least.
To some extent.
But your phone rings again, and you find yourself staring mouth agape at his reply.
Joe: You may ride his dick, but you had my kid. Clearly, only one of us knows how to please you.
Your face is burning hot, and you hate how you shift in your seat. Why the fuck would he say that? You want to say it’s inappropriate, but you also opened this door.
Is he entirely wrong?
Slapping away that wild ass thought, you focus on the real conversation at hand here. It takes a couple of rewrites before you ultimately decide to change the subject.
You: I’ve never bought any man around her and never will that’s not you, if that’s what you’re asking.
You’re grateful to see he’s also agreeing to change the subject.
Joe: It is. Thank you.
Rolling your eyes, you send a text back, getting back to being annoyed at his 21 Questions. This is a two-way street, and since he’s opened this door, why not?
You: You know that goes both ways though. I don’t want her around any bitches.
Joe: Seriously?
Joe: There’s no one for me to bring her around.
You…..you don’t know how to feel about that, don’t know how to feel about the bit of relief you feel at this message. Why should you feel relieved? Even if there was, that’s his business, and he’s allowed to….do whatever it is that he does.
It reminds you and brings you to your next topic.
You: What about your wife? We need to figure that out as well. She’s eventually going to need to know about Calista and will probably be around her at some point. I get she’s your wife, but I’m Callie’s mother, I need to be there whenever you wanna introduce Callie. I need to be involved in that process as well.
He doesn’t reply.
________
Joe doesn’t really get mad.
Not often at least and definitely not outwardly.
It’s always been his thing to never let anyone have access to that “button” that triggers his anger, and for the most part, it works well.
Except for when it comes to you.
You’ve always been able to trigger many things for him, anger being one of them.
He knows he should have spoken to you in person about the situation, or even over the phone. But with the craziness of his schedule and differing time zones, he just decided to message you, and while it didn’t go horribly, it didn’t go great. He knows you’re annoyed with him.
Hence your crudity.
Joe also refuses to admit that the thought of you fucking this kid pisses him the fuck off, even though you’re not together, even though he has no right to be upset.
But goddamn that doesn’t make him any less upset or annoyed at the thought of someone else touching you.
“Uce?” Jon asks, standing at the door before inventing himself in Joe’s locker room for this week’s Smackdown. “You ready to talk man?”
At that, Joe looks confused. “Talk about what?”
“Whatever it is that got you all worked up.” The twins have always been very perceptive, even back when they were all kids. Joe might be good at hiding his frustration from others but not them. The difference between Jon and Josh though has always been Josh has the wherewithal to not say anything.
Jon hasn’t caught on to that just yet.
“I’m fine,” Joe dismisses, hoping it’s enough to dead the conversation, even though he knows better.
“Lie detector determined that was a goddamn lie.” Jon can be pushy, but he means well, and truthfully, Joe doesn’t have a strong desire to outright shut down this conversation. A different perspective is always beneficial.
Usually.
So, he explains it all, starting with his call with Callie and ending with the text exchange between him and you.
“I see,” Jon nods, clearly absorbing all of this information. Finally, he concludes, “so you’re jealous.”
That’s the first thing to evoke a genuine laugh out of Joe since his exchange with Y/N. “I’m not jealous.”
“And I’m not a twin,” Jon dismisses. “Look, Uce, it’s obvious you still got feelings for ole girl. You ask me, I don’t think you ever got over her—”
“I didn’t ask you.”
“--Now you sitting up here annoyed cause she fucking Coach Carter nephew instead of doing something about it.” Joe rolls his eyes. “I mean have you even told her about you and J—”
“No,” he interrupts, swiftly. “Not yet, at least.”
Nodding, Jon speaks again after a minute of silence. “All I’m saying is ya’ll got the history, got the connection, got the kid too! Don’t see why you need to be letting Jesus Shuttlesworth steal your girl.”
At that, Joe chuckles. One thing his cousins will always be good for, especially Jon, is comedic relief. Even some sound advice from time to time.
“Thanks.”
Joe is, surprisingly, thankful for the equally surprising advice from his cousin. He’s not entirely sure if he’s really jealous or just overreacting for a reason he hasn’t quite uncovered, but he is starting to lean more on the side of he does still have some level of feelings for Y/N.
It’s not a complete shock. He had a feeling when he reacted so strongly to just seeing your picture. It was the whole Callie situation and finding out how you kept her from him that made his vision murky.
But, as his relationship with her strengthens, the clearer he can see.
The clearer his feelings are becoming. Now. it’s just a matter of figuring out what to do with said feelings.
And find out where you stand as well.
Joe remains quiet, thinking more and more how this might end up being an eventful trip.
#roman reigns x black!reader#roman reigns x black!oc#roman reigns#roman reigns fic#black writers#arisnotebook
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Digital Circus with a Mime Reader, who CAN speak but prefers to use sign language and gestures: they find find Kaufmo in the middle of abstracting and try to calm him down (against their better judgement). It doesn't go well, ending with them locking and closing Kaufmo's door, and running to find Caine... Only to hear the theme song suddenly stop and Jax say something about a "new character" as they approach...
Ough finally some Kaufmo angst-
........
Approaching Kaufmo's door, you stopped in front of it and politely knocked, wanting to check up on him before Caine could summon everybody to perform the Digital Circus' "theme song" musical number.
As of late, your fellow clown hasn't been feeling up to snuff, since apparently nobody was laughing at his jokes anymore...
Although said jokes have all mentioned something about an exit--a way out of the digital realm you've grown quite comfortable living in. But even when he is dead serious, the others are convinced he's only kidding around, pretending to laugh and sometimes asking him if he could joke about something else.
Least to say...it grew frustrating for him.
The only reason he hadn't totally lost it yet was because of you, a mime who has lived in the circus for the past five months and befriended him quickly. Together you've put on many acts: with his wacky props and your invisible techniques, your shows were amusing to all.
That being said, you didn't want your longtime partner to think about any exits too much, as you've lost several friends in the past when they started talking about the same thing.
It happened to Queener, Kinger's beloved wife, and the poor chess piece has been on the brink of abstraction ever since (honestly, it's a miracle he didn't immediately follow her).
Fortunately, he remained stable enough to be around everyone.
As for Kaufmo?
He didn't look so good last night at dinner, and you haven't seen him all morning. Normally he'd be up and about, juggling random things as he walked or approaching you to brainstorm new acts to perform.
Him locking himself away in his room was not normal.
Especially when he knew this musical number was super important to Caine.
After waiting a minute or two, you perked up as he finally answered the door.
At first you smiled in greeting, although that was quick to fade when he only kept it open just a crack--enough for you to barely see his face...
Which bore a terrified expression underneath his runny makeup, making his frown look worse than it actually is. His hat was nowhere to be found, either.
''Are you okay, Kaufmo?" You signed, eyebrows furrowed in worry.
That was your usual way of talking, despite knowing you could very well speak freely. You had no clue if you were proficient in sign language before entering this circus, but regardless it always came in handy, and everybody did their best to communicate with you that way (or at least those with fingers, unlike Zooble or Gangle).
Since your performances usually involved silence and expressive gestures, you didn't see a need to talk often--and that was usually fine with Kaufmo, who'd always chatter with you in sign language right back.
But when he attempted to respond, you swore you both saw his own hands glitching, before he quickly retracted them, clearly frightened.
You, on the other hand, wanted to believe it was just a "digital hallucination".
That's all it was...right?
"I-I'm sorry, [y/n]..haven't been..feeling like myself-f-f lately.." Even his own voice was betraying him, as it sounded distorted, lagging as though he was a slow computer program. "But you believe me, don't you?"
"Believe what?"
"The...the exit, of course! The thing I've been talking about this whole time!! It's real! There IS a way out!! I-I can show you!!"
You blinked, before shaking your head. "Kaufmo, let me in."
"Oh no, I think that's a bad id--wait! Wait!!" Despite his pleas for you to stop, you forced your way into his room, shutting the door behind you so nobody else could intrude or eavesdrop.
The last thing you needed was Caine listening in.
Yet after taking a look around at the state of his quarters--with everything being a complete mess and the word "EXIT" scrawled onto every square inch of the ceiling and walls--you were nothing short of terrified for his mental well-being.
'My god....what has he done..?' You thought to yourself, mortified.
"No, no, no, no!!"
Looking back at Kaufmo, you saw him back up against the wall, holding his face as black glitchy polygons started appearing on his body. He gasped in horror, looking at his hands...and then up at you.
"What's..h-happening to me-e-e?"
Your heart sunk, knowing exactly what was going on.
"You're abstracting.." You whispered, your voice small yet shaken.
"I-I didn't...think I'd be next...it hurts so much! Christ-!!!" He began crying, his makeup oozing as he stared at you with empty, soulless black eyes. One of his arms was already taken over by the glitches, morphing into a large one covered in jagged polygons.
"Make it stop..MAKE IT STOP!!!" He screamed, slumping to the floor.
You were frozen in a state of panic, unsure if you should go get Caine or stay here and try to pull him out of his abstraction.
Either way, you had to do something fast...lest you lose him forever or become infected yourself.
"Just focus on me, pal. I'm here. I'm here." Kneeling down, you grasped his non-glitching hand tightly with both of yours, attempting to guide him through a breathing exercise.
"You'll get through this." You mouthed, but he just shook his head, noticing a single glowing eye forming on the surface of the glitchy flesh.
"Wh-Whatever you do...don't tell Caine, I beg you-u.." He pleaded. "He'll lock me away...a-and I'll be all alone in the dark..I don't wanna be alone.."
Tears welled up in your eyes as you shook your head, and he gazed at you in confusion. "What do you mean "no"? You'd let him throw me into the cellar with the rest of them...?" He started to grow angrier, feeling betrayed. "I thought we were partners!"
"We are partners, Kaufmo. Always will be." You sighed, wishing there was another way to stop this from happening. "But there's nothing more I can do...he needs to know-"
"Fine...maybe things will be better if I'm not around to tell my stupid jokes anymore."
"Kaufmo-"
"Go....run, [y/n]...run-n-n-nnNNNN------"
Immediately after he said that, you let him go right as his other hand quickly became overtaken by the abstraction, almost taking you with it.
You got up and took a step backwards, watching in mute terror as he rapidly grew in size, turning into a massive amalgamation of glitch black polygons. Even more glowy-trippy eyes were popping up in different places, looking in every direction.
Within seconds, Kaufmo no longer resembled the clown you once knew (or a person, in general)....but was instead replaced by a horrific digital beast with a long neck, standing on four legs.
You gulped as every single eye on his body suddenly shifted to stare directly down at you.
'Uh-oh-'
You hastily created an invisible wall just as he lunged at you with a ferocious roar, slamming right into the illusion like a bird smacking into a glass pane.
'He still falls for the oldest trick in the book..oh Kaufmo..'
Although it pained your heart to abandon him like this, he was too far gone to be saved. He didn't even recognize you anymore.
The only thing you could do now was get Caine before he harmed you or anybody else--even if it means you never saw him again. He could very well threaten the entire stability of this world if he got loose.
You quickly ran out of the room just before he could break through the "wall" and go after you, slamming the door shut and locking it tight.
Moments later, you heard him ram into it, the hinges damn near breaking off (but by the grace of cartoon physics, that didn't happen).
You wiped the sweat from your forehead, making a mad dash out of the dormitory section of the tent in a desperate search for Caine.
Unfortunately, you could already hear Bubble's singing in the distance as the gang's musical number routine was already starting:
"Gangle, and Zooble, and Kinger, too~!"
You ran as fast as your legs could possibly carry you. They were already aware of both of your absences, and they chose to go on with the song anyways.
'Jerks..they couldn't at least wait for me?' You huffed. 'Caine never tells us when we're doing these musical ditties-'
By the time you arrived, however, you heard the music abruptly cut out.
You stopped upon seeing your friends tumbled over each other on the floor, with Gangle's comedy mask being broken and Jax picking himself up in annoyance.
"Caine, is this one of your NPCs or is this a new sucker?"
Blinking, you glanced at the new person he was referring to, surprised to see a girl dressed as a red and blue jester.
"........."
Now you couldn't say anything to Caine.
Not right now, at least.
#clanask#anonymous#tadc x reader#the amazing digital circus x reader#tadc kaufmo#clown reader#mime reader#angst#platonic
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