#common ian w

[kenobihater]

GIRL. THIS WAS ON A VIDEO ABOUT GALLAVICH 💀💀💀

[iheartmoons]

ok ok ok i was thinking about why people think ian doesn't show mickey enough love again. (i used to think so too a while back, but i stopped and i'll explain why)

i think s10 and 11 gallavich are slightly inaccurate, but i do think there's also some truth to it that the writers probably didn't even intend. not sure if this is a common thought in the fandom, but i think ian loves control and normalcy. i think sometimes he takes it too far, like when he was starving himself, but there's other times like his enjoyment of ROTC and his love for the gym + doing all the running w/ carl and pilates classes w/ mickey which suggests that he enjoys having a routine. i think that's because his disorder makes him feel out of control, even if he does have meds, and so he feels like he needs to prove to himself that he is a controlled and calm person (which he is, he's like the second most normal gallagher when he's on his meds). a lot of people say that mickey has a loud love language and does a lot of wild things for ian, and in contrast ian is very reluctant to reciprocate. (i mean, he did almost go to mexico with mickey... but again, he felt himself losing control and proved that he does have self-restraint to not throw his entire life away). anyways, so when ian doesn't immediately agree to throw his parole or marry mickey, people feel like he doesn't love mickey enough.

how i see it, ian has had to work really hard to find a life which is comfortable and normal (which he also threw away during an episode and ended up in prison). so he doesn't do crazy shit for mickey and instead likes to talk things through (i REALLY hated their marriage plotline when i first watched it, but rewatching, i realised that ian is actually being really rational even if it is a bit mean + hurts mickey). the reason he talks things through and doesn't act quickly is because ian's view of a good life is one that's controlled and comfortable, so it makes sense that he wants his love life to reflect that. he doesn't want to start being impulsive or crazy for love, because he already does enough of that when he's triggered. his active effort to be stable with mickey and not immediately marry him etc, just shows that he cares about their love and doesn't want to fuck it up by doing something crazy based purely on emotions (+ the other reasons he doesn't wanna marry). in fact, i think it's a really good thing that ian's a bit more quiet and rational about loving mickey because it really balances them out. i'm also glad mickey realises his flaw in wanting ian to do crazy shit for him. ian can show his love in other, better ways <3

[hysteriaww]

You get kai and bonnie so much together and individually everything you say fits them in canon so well it's too bad the writers really fumbled with them because when kai showed up he was a breath of fresh air and the best part about him is he's all about bonnie that was new and realistic bonkai was their last shot at getting the vampire diaries interest back up again

AH thank you so much for this lovely message, you're so sweet!! Yes, it really is such a shame the writers fumbled Bonkai bc it rly did seem like they had some great ideas there in the beginning, but the execution fell flat :( I feel like Kai was a breath of fresh air not just for us fans but also the cast & crew! U could rly feel their spark of new excitement for a dying show when kai showed up bc i think they all sensed that he was unique and different from the tired, recycled plotlines they'd had since S4.

Ian in particular seemed much more interested in his scenes when Kai was around (and much more lifeless when he wasn't) and Bonnie ofc was *given* much more interesting scenes when Kai was around, compared to prior seasons. Even Alaric & Jo, who started S6 as rick's new boring romance of the season, became relevant, layered and interesting bc of their links to Kai. Like rick loved to play the hero & act like damon was morally beneath him in S6 but his need to protect Jo from Kai brought out a selfish streak that made him go behind Jo & her fam's back to make shady deals w Damon & Kai as long as it kept Jo safe! Even Jo was revealed to be quite crafty considering her backstory of how she tricked & betrayed Kai in 1994, which made her much more interesting than her early role as rick's bland gf.

Even Liv & Luke were (im sorry) SO BORING in S5 but 1000x more interesting in S6 once their story got linked to Kai. His existence single-handedly linked so many disjointed characters & plotlines from previous seasons (like why'd they even bring Rick back after dying in S3? His relationship w Jo (and by extension, Kai) was the only thing that made him relevant for the rest of the goddamn show)! Even the Heretics were introduced to the show through KAI & the gemini/siphoner lore and fully lost steam as soon as Kai wasn't there to make 'em interesting!

As for Kai's links to Bonnie, ya i agree she rly was their last chance to make things interesting bc they'd already given Elena & Caroline "dark" romances that fans were too attached to to accept anything else (see: Delena being forced to stay together; Steroline forever being overshadowed in most fans' minds by Klaroline) so giving Elena & Caroline new pairings would've disappointed fans, whereas Bonnie was a blank slate they could've gone WILD with bc none of her canon pairings had strongly attached fans... yet they gave Elena & Caroline new romances anyway and scrapped Bon's romance with Kai :)))

That is what felt malicious. In S6 alone, they gave Elena who ALREADY HAD DAMON the new guy Liam, then gave Caroline the same guy Liam, Enzo (briefly) AND Stefan, whereas Bon *almost* got Kai & *fully* lost Jeremy in S6. ??? Any writer who paid half as much attention to her fans as Plague did (considering how much ott fan-service she wrote into tvd & how many twitter fights she got into w fans whose ships she disapproved of) HAD to have known her fans wouldn't accept Caroline/Enzo, Care/Stef, Care/Liam or Elena/Liam as much as they loved Care/Klaus & Elena/Damon. Yet she did it anyway bc she preferred LOSING FANS to giving Bonnie someone interesting!

She even planned Kai to be Bon's love interest in S6 bc she thought he wouldn't be popular w fans & instantly torpedoed that once she noticed fans' love for him bc, as I said before, Plague PAID ATTENTION to her fans' reactions. So fans having lukewarm feelings about Steroline was enough to get 'em married, but fans LIKING Kai was enough to get Bonkai axed. It's a common joke that Plague saw Caroline as her self-insert (neurotic, hyper-organized blonde control-freak) which is why she dated more men than even Elena. But I think a large chunk of tvd's white teen girl fans saw Care as a self-insert too (bc w each subsequent season, Caroline was increasingly written & designed that way, which is why fans turned on tvd's original self-insert, Elena, & worshipped Care instead).

Her "im never the one, im not perfect like elena" insecurities made her a blank canvas for (white) girls to see themselves in, which is why she wins Miss Mystic Falls, why she's a privileged Founding Fam member, why she gets to dress fancy & go to Mikaelson balls that have nothing to do w her, why she gets ALL the men, why she becomes the 1st vampire to be pregnant, why she gets to marry Stefan (then instantly lose him so she can go kiss Klaus in the spin-off), why she gets to be tvd's last vampire standing, why she repeatedly gets to have her cake and eat it too. By presenting Elena as "perfect/ideal" & Caroline as an "underdog," fans naturally sympathized more with Care's "struggle" (even tho she repeatedly got EVERYTHING!) Based on this, Plague refused to let ppl like Klaus date Bonnie (which would've made sense) but shoved him w Caroline (which didn't make narrative sense) bc that gave her & white fans the chance to see themselves in Care & feel like THEY were dating Klaus.

(Btw I wanna add that I actually do like & enjoy Caroline! This is a critique of the shadiness that went into *writing* Caroline, not a critique of Caroline herself)

Similarly, Kai was allowed to want Bonnie as long as fans didn't like him, but once he got popular, Plague killed Bonkai bc she believed that she & her (white) fans wouldn't be able to see themselves in Bonnie and feel like THEY were the ones dating Kai. But Kai was not Klaus, Stefan, Damon, Enzo or Kol. His character was CONCEIVED w Bonnie in mind to the point that erasing his obsession w her would make him not even feel like KAI anymore. And that wouldn't work bc fans wanted gucci kai, not walmart kai. Also, his general personality quirks were just not the type that would vibe w Caroline. Chris Wood said it himself, "Kai likes to be the one who talks, he doesn't like to listen, so I think Caroline might make him wanna snap her neck & move on" bc Caroline ALSO likes to talk. So writing him w Care would change Kai too much & writing him w Elena was not an option bc Delena was set in stone & Nina was leaving. So, how'd plague have her cake & eat it too? She refused to let Bon have Kai, and bc there was no other white girl who made sense for him, she kept Kai eternally single so white fans could eternally imagine themselves w him.

And uk what's the worst part? I don't believe all white fans would've necessarily struggled to see themselves in Bonnie if she'd dated Kai. I think Bonnie being the ACTUAL underdog struggler of the show made her very relatable to people, regardless of what your race is (esp bc tvd rarely addressed her race or centered any plotlines on it). I think Plague's own subconscious biases just made it impossible for her to fathom seeing herself in a PoC character, which is why she wrongly assumed all her majority white fans worked the same way & letting Bonkai happen would've disappointed them & made them stop watching. (But that being said, even if it was just a "business decision" to her... isn't it funny how disappointing masses of white klaroline fans didn't stop her from tossing Care at stef, enzo, whoever she wanted, but ONLY stopped her when it came to Bonnie's ships (bc she was looking for excuses to scrap 'em anyway)? Oh plagueee ur biases are showing, girlieee)

[ihuntvisualmentoo]

World of Magic✨✨

Shaun’s Route

(You’ve chosen his route)

Just like a would in an actual visual novel, you’ll be going through this but you will have a storyline with each character. The route will be separate from the other routes. So each of them won’t be connected at all.

Enjoy the piece of trash I’ve written, cause this gon’ be one long ass post.

\Again

He did it a-fucking -gain

Half naked on top of another random woman, and here you are standing at the front of his bedroom door with a bag of cookies made just for him. It's nothing new honestly. Just a repetitive loop that happens over and over again. The shock isn't even there to show on your face, instead a conniving smile stretches across your face, “Ah, it seems as though I'm interrupting a friendly moment here."

The red head snaps his attention to you, with the most 'worried' expression, “Y-y/n! It's not what it looks like! Honest!”

You give him a blank through your jeweled veil as he tries to take out another sad excuse in his book.

Oh this poor bumbling idiot, he hasn't realized that you're already sick of his shit. You raised a gloved hand at him as a sign to stop talking, at the same time the woman on his bed wraps her arms around his neck from behind pressing his breasts against his back

"Ian, what's wrong? Is she bothering you?" she said in a seductive voice. Red flushes across lan's cheeks, a reaction that used to be for you. The woman glances at you with a smirk. However you couldn't care less.

*You can have him, you thought, less work for me'

You set the cookies on a nearby small table, "I’Il just leave these here then." exiting the room.

"W-wait!" Ian pleaded wanting you to stay and listen, but you didn't live your whole life to put up with this. With a turn on your heel, you walk down the adorned hallways as the palace's maids and butlers slightly bow, not looking back.

Ian Duff, the crown prince bound to be next in line for the throne. And as his fiance you are the soon-to-be queen.

At first, you felt happy.

Happy because you would be with your 'lover' since childhood, and throughout the years were also the times that drifted you from each other. The times when he would shower me with affection, only for it to be for other women that jump into his sheets. While you just sit pretty as a doll that can't say anything about it. It just pisses you off!

You stop at an open window, admiring the royal garden, if you could, you would take off the jewels that covered your eyes but the nagging feeling of attendants nearby would gawk at the sudden sight.

You really needed air, and you're just taking the chance to clear your head. It's just... hard to always handle this problem Leaning at the edge of the window, eyes closed and rubbing your temples, the veil shifting slightly.

"Mew!"

A squeaky little meow makes you jolt. Opening your eyes, you see a gray tiny kitten peeking underneath the veil. She has a small purple envelope tied to her back. Readjusting yourself to look at her properly. You smiled as you curled a finger to scratch her chin. "Hey little Moonpie, got something for your aunty?"Moonpie purrs in response. Distracting the little messenger you take the note and read it.

"Heya kitty!

I got something cool I want you to see. Meet me in the woods tonight?”

You softly chuckle to yourself, “what a dork.”

At least he’s the only guy in your life

At the same time, Moonpie jumps off the window ledge and trots her way into the forest.

Well, looks like you gotta get ready.

_________________

The sound of leaves crunch underneath your boots. The change of attire suitable for exploring out in the woods, knee high boots, white shirt with a vest, a long cloak, and a bag filled with needed supplies. It's also perfect for when you need to blend into a crowd of commoners while out and about.

You scan the area of the meeting spot, you don't see him around. Maybe he's just late?

"Shaun?"

No response

"Shaun wher-"

A pair of large hands weigh on your shoulders, feeling your whole body go stiff.

"Guess who-"

A voice all too familiar to you. You look up to see a dark-skinned man's face looming over you with dreads dipped in blue dye wearing a beast skull on his head with black-purplish fur reaching his back to top it off. "C'mon, I told you to stop that!" you said swatting at him, Shaun avoids your mini assault stepping away from you.

"Hah! What makes you think I'll promise such a thing?" he puts a dramatic hand on his chest. "You're just breaking my heart. How else can I have your undying attention?"

You couldn't but roll your eyes at his little performance. "Ya know, if it wasn't for my little niece i wouldn't even be here." Shaun gives you a raised brow and a shit eating grin. "And you would've still seen me."

He ruffles your hair, "C'mon, we don't wanna be out for too long." suggesting while grabbing a hold of your wrist to guide you to a safe point.

_______________

We stop in front of a small cabin, a very charming in fact one belonging to no other person but Shaun's. The inside of the cabin has already been decorated to his taste. I set my bag at the table full of little projects he's made before as he also takes off the beat skull on his head, tattoos of deciphers on his back. "So what's it you have to show this time?" I asked

Shaun gives a wide grin all that you recognize. “My god, Shaun, I swear if it’s another-” however your words are interrupted. “Okay before you, finish. Lemme just show you.”

he pulls out of glass box in his hands revealing to what looks to be-

“… a… slime?” You tilt your head to the side. Sensing the confusion, Shaun explains.

“It’s an acidic slime! Perfect for this one practice I’m doing.”

“And is it safe?”

….

“….Shaun? It’s safe, right??”

……..

Beads of sweats from on his forehead, nervously shifting his eyes to a very nice wall.

“Shaun are you kidding me right now?!”

“Cmon, it’s not that bad! I made sure myself.” Narrowing his eyes, you move your attention to the slime. Its green color shines in the candle lights, and it’s …rather cute too. “Well if you say so, I trust your judgment.”

Shaun gives a shit eating grin in victory, “See? A professional you can rely on.”

Hmm, to think you became friends with a guy like him.

Thunk!

The sudden sound alerts the duo, and look in the glass box.

“Ahh, shit!!”

The slime melted through the glass and landed on the wooden floor sinking into it in the process. However, it stopped and looked at Shaun. “Uhh, it looks… angry?”

“Y/n, don’t. Move.” ….

The creature stretches into a lengthy height, over towering the idiot.

“Or start running!”

Shaun dodges the slime as it lunges at him. One attack after another items are getting destroyed and small animals running away from the little boxes they were being held in. “Professional my ass! You didn’t make sure it was in the right box!”

“I thought it was slime proof!”

You tried to dodge the next attack, but it grazed you left thigh. On the floor, you yelped in pain, it’s burned through your boot. You take it off as fast as you can before the acid could spread anymore.

Distracted, the slime rushes to the small woman to give one clean hit. Seeing the raised tentacles, you closed your eyes prepared.

….

The sound of a vortex is heard, lid slamming after. The sound of heavy breathing, the sound of heavy footsteps, to a pair of large hands cupping your face. “…You can open them now.”

With your vision returned, the feeling of your chest tightens.

Shaun is inches away from you, looking concerned. His eyes scan you until he spots the few on your leg. “Damn… it really got you bad.”

“What, happened?”

He says that he found another jar for emergencies in his projects. And this time, he made sure it was a very secure one. You let out a sigh of relief. “That’s good to know… although”

You sock him in the ribs

The impact made him cough, “Ack! Ow, okay, yeah I deserve that.”

Even though your lives were in danger, it stop you laughing in the aftermath. It was a hellish experience but it’ll be worth the tale later on in the future. “This is nice and all, but I really need some patching up here.”

Shaun nods and lifts you to your feet, he plops you on an untouched table.

The sight of the scar makes him wince. Med kit already in hand, he skillfully fixes the wound. “It’ll need to heal for a couple days,” he implied. “Right now, the slime only paralyzed your leg, it should be fine for you to walk around tomorrow.”

Oh

…

Oh!

That means you won’t be able to return to the palace tonight! If the servants notice you were absent, it’ll trigger a search.

….

At the same time though, you’re not really paid much attention to, the servants would probably not be bothered to report it. Huh? At least your reputation benefits you.

“Guess i’m sleeping over” you stretch out your arms to Shaun, with a tinge of red on his face, he lifts you and takes you around the house to assist with your night.

“…One bed?”

You turn to Shaun, already in sleepwear, he rubs the nape of his neck, trying to cool the blood rushing to his cheeks. “Yeah uh, if it makes you comfortable, I can just sleep on the floor”

You shake your head and disagreement, “No, no. It’s okay. I… honestly prefer that we share.”

A shy smile changes your lips. Repeating to yourself over and over that he’s just a friend.

…right?

*Holds out bowl* Tips and advice, please?

(Oh! Part 2??)

[coimbrabertone]

A Formula One Race Winner Has Come Out as Gay

There have been gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, transgender racing drivers, drivers of various sexualities and sexual identities. That being said, very few have the luxury of being open about it. Motorsports is expensive, elite, and exclusive, thus the demographics tend to be overwhelmingly conservative. Furthermore, when your overalls are plastered with a lot of companies paying your team a lot of money, you don't want to appear controversial.

You don't want to rock the boat.

Thus, in the past, LGBTQ+ individuals in motorsport have largely been closeted within the sport, and have come out afterwards. See Hurley Haywood, who won the 24 Hours of Le Mans in 1977, 1983, and 1994, along with the 24 Hours of Daytona in 1973, 1975, 1977, 1979, and 1991. Hurley raced from 1971 to 2012, however, he did not come out as gay until he published his autobiography in 2018.

See also Mike Beuttler, a British F1 driver from the early 1970s who was closeted, albeit his sexuality has been described by Ian Philips as an open secret in the paddock. Beuttler would race privateer March cars in 1971, 1972, and 1973, but would not score any points under the top six points system. That being said, under the current points scheme, he would've scored 5 points in '72 courtesy of an 8th and a 10th placed finish, and 12 points in '73 courtesy of two 10th placed finishes, a 7th, and an 8th.

Beuttler had to bring a woman with him to the race track to pose as his girlfriend, and he would die of AIDS in Los Angeles in 1988. He never had the chance to live as an openly gay man.

Likewise, Michelle Duff and Caitlyn Jenner transitioned well after their racing days were over with. Duff took two 250cc Grand Prix Motorcycling wins with Yamaha (Belgium 1964 and Finland 1965) as well a single 125cc win (Netherlands 1965).

Jenner, at that time better known as an Olympic track and field runner, took a class win at Sebring in 1986, codriving the #7 7-Eleven Ford Mustang for Roush Racing along with Scott Pruett. Jenner would, as a woman, then make a return to the racing world in 2022 when she owned the W Series team of Jamie Chadwick and Chloe Chambers. Unfortunately, W Series would fold midseason that same year.

Speaking of W Series, much like Women's Football (Soccer), homosexuality is more common among racing women than their male counterparts. Abbie Eaton and girlfriend Jessica Hawkins, along with Sarah Moore, all raced in W Series.

That also brings us to the person who was, hitherto, the most successful queer person in Formula One, Italian lesbian Lella Lombardi. Lella race only a few years after Beuttler and, like him, would spend her career in privateer cars. Four times in a Brabham, making the race once, once in a Williams when she made the race but did not start, and most often in a March.

It was in a Lavazza sponsored March 751 where Lella Lombardi would survive the treacherous 1975 Spanish Grand Prix to finish sixth, albeit with the race being called after just 29 laps, she only received half points. That 0.5 of a point was all that us queer Formula One fans had to hold onto.

Until now.

Ralf Schumacher, the younger brother of Michael, had his breakthrough year in the junior series just as Michael won his second championship in 1995. In this year, Ralf would finish second in the German Formula 3 Championship, second in the Formula 3 Monaco Grand Prix, second in the Masters of Formula 3 race at Zandvoort, and would win the illustrious Macau Grand Prix.

Ralf would follow up this Far Eastern success by winning the 1996 Formula Nippon Championship, nowadays better known as Super Formula. Furthermore, he would finish second in the All-Japan Grand Touring Championship (Super Formula), only beaten out by the duo of sports car ace David Brabham and John Nielsen.

This success would be enough to land Ralf a Formula One seat at Jordan, the same team that his brother started out with in the 1991 Belgian Grand Prix. Unlike in 1991 though, but 1997, Jordan was becoming a proper force.

The Benson & Hedges sponsorship with the iconic yellow and black color scheme, plus the upcoming switch from Peugeot power in 1997 to Mugen-Honda power in 1998 would turn Jordan into a legitimate championship contender by 1999...unfortunately, Ralf would not make it that far.

At the 1998 Belgian Grand Prix, complete chaos resulted in the Jordans of Damon Hill and Ralf Schumacher running 1-2. Ralf was catching Damon, however, with the team's first win on the line, Jordan ordered the drivers to hold position and protect the 1-2. Jordan would get the perfect finish, however, it would result in a falling out between Michael Schumacher and Eddie Jordan.

Michael would buy Ralf out of his Jordan contract, and Ralf would sign for Williams instead.

Initially, Williams brought a beauty of a 1999 car with its red, white, yellow, and blue Winfield colors, but the aesthetics could not make up for the outdated Supertec badged Renault engines. Nevertheless, Ralf's three podiums and fifth-placed points finish was enough for Williams to finish fifth in the constructors' championship, despite the fact that teammate Zanardi failed to score a point.

The new millennium would bring changes to Williams, as gone was the tobacco sponsorship and in came BMW engines and a host of tech sponsorships, particularly Compaq and Allianz. Ralf was now the German driver for a team running German engines, and with his teammate being the then-youngest rookie in F1 history in the form of Jenson Button, Ralf was expected to be the team leader.

Well, he scored 24 of the team's 36 points and they would finish 3rd in the constructors' championship. It wasn't a bad season, but it would certainly fail to live up to the high expectations of BMW. They would go back to the drawing board for 2001.

And they came loaded for fucking bear.

Ralf Schumacher in one car, 1999 CART champion and 2000 Indianapolis 500 winner Juan Pablo Montoya in the other. An 880 horsepower hand grenade of a BMW V10, and not a goddamn lick of downforce to slow that motherfucker down.

It was glorious.

Ralf would have his breakout year in this car, winning at San Marino, Canada, and the German Grand Prix at the Hockenheimring, while Montoya would claim the Cathedral of Speed with his win at Monza. 49 points for Ralf in P4 and 31 points for JPM in P6 marked a resurgence for a team as well. They were still 3rd in the constructors, but now they were doing it with style.

Shame Ferrari decided to eviscerate everyone else in 2002.

Still, Ralf won the Malaysian Grand Prix, finished fourth in the standings, and with Montoya in third, Williams overtook McLaren for second in the constructors.

That did mark a bit of a shift in the team though, because Juan Pablo Montoya had adapted to Formula One, and he would lead the team in 2003. JPM would win Monaco and Germany to finish third in the standings, just nine points off of Michael, while Ralf would be down in fifth.

Nevertheless, he went back-to-back in Europe and France, leading Williams 1-2 finishes at the Nürburgring and Magny-Cours. These are, to this day, the most recent 1-2 finishes for the Williams team.

Ralf would fail to win in 2004 and his season would be defined by a horror crash at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway road course for the United States Grand Prix. Marc Gene and then Anthony Pizzonia would replace him for the next three months, and this would effectively see out Ralf's contract with Williams.

His Toyota stint would start well enough in 2005, taking two podiums and finishing just ahead of teammate Jarno Trulli in the standings, however he would again crash at the USGP, this time in practice. His second crash there in as many years would signal a major issue with the Michelin tyres, eventually leading to a massive controversy where only six Bridgestone-clad cars raced, handing the win to Michael Schumacher of Ferrari.

After this though, Ralf's career would fade. Down to 10th in the standings in 2006, and just 16th in 2007. At the end of that year, he would leave Formula One to compete for Mercedes in DTM, without much success.

Ralf's career ended with somewhat of a whimper, and he would go on to become a bit of a controversial pundit in the following years. His criticism of Lewis Hamilton in 2020 particularly stood as a black eye for many fans. That being said, this is a man with six Grand Prix wins, a man who went toe-to-toe with the likes of Michael Schumacher, Kimi Raikkonen, and Juan Pablo Montoya.

At the 2001 Canadian Grand Prix, Ralf would get the honor of not only winning, but finishing 1-2 with his brother, for the first sibling 1-2 in Formula One history.

All of this has led for me to maintain that Ralf Schumacher was a good driver who did a lot with a Williams that was strong in a straightline but lacked the aerodynamic grunt of Ferrari and McLaren.

Then, on June 14th, 2024, Ralf posted a pic of him with his arm around a man talking about how good it is to have a loving partner. Ralf's friend Carmen Geiss then elaborated, congratulating Ralf on his bravery for coming out, and specifying that he is gay. We now have our first gay Formula One race winner.

This is huge. In a day, we've gone from zero Grand Prix wins for a gay driver to six. In a time where very few male athletes have come out as gay, Formula One has a gay driver who is still a pundit, still involved in the sport in some way.

As scary as it is to be an LGBTQ+ individual in a socially conservative paddock that races in openly homophobic countries like Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, and Qatar, and see some of the hooliganism and vitriol coming from the Orange Army of Max Verstappen fans, those gay, bi, trans, lesbian, etc, etc people are no longer alone.

That is big.

There is still work to be done - I've gone through some old forum posts and found out that in 2003, Ralf was harassed by British and German tabloids who claimed that one: he was a partner in a gay nightclub, and two: his then-wife Cora was cheating on him with another man. These are destructive, invasive rumors that could make anyone want to hide their sexuality for as long as possible.

Now, nearly twenty years after his Formula One career, Ralf has finally felt safe enough to reveal this.

[roses-bah-garden]

level 2 emotional protector? with a vibe of ventriloquism to them 🤔 otherwise do whatever you want! have fun w/ them :3

hii! i ended up making them a 2 member subsystem, but feel free to just use the ventriloquist and not the dummy :)

a new flower has blossomed! 🌹

emotional protector ventriloquist ... [LVL 2 PACK]

══════════════════

subsys name(s) ;; the dummy subsys, big & small, performer duo, the ventriloquist subsys

collective name(s) ;; dummy, venn, mick, red

collective pronouns ;; they/them, he/him

══════════════════

name(s) ;; mike/michael, callahan, dave, ian, razz

pronouns ;; he/him, they/them

age ;; ~30

species ;; human

gender(s) ;; cis man

orientation(s) ;; demisexual, biromantic

role(s) ;; emotional protector [& some additional optional roles] co-host, masker

source ;; brainmade / alter pack

sign-off(s) ;; 🎩❤, 💭🎎

══════════════════

appearance ;; 5'11" and average build. warm tan skin. short black hair and dark brown eyes. androgynous presenting, with simple makeup. eclectic and theatrical clothing style, like a performer's costumes. see below for picrew.

personality ;; kind and caring, with a soft protective energy. he's got a good sense of humour and a strong stage presence. good at mimicking and mirroring other people. he's not very booksmart, but he has common sense and people skills.

══════════════════

name(s) ;; roy, dummy, pester, bond, mickey

pronouns ;; it/its, he/him, doll/dolls, joke/jokes

age ;; ageless

species ;; ventriloquist dummy

gender(s) ;; phostmastrangerial, bouquet

orientation(s) ;; asexual, lithoromantic

role(s) ;; emotional protector [& some additional optional roles] mood booster, innocence holder

source ;; brainmade / alter pack

sign-off(s) ;; 🗯🎎, 🗣👋

══════════════════

appearance ;; ~20". similar in appearance to headmate #1, but much smaller. bright rosy cheeks and glossy skin. thick, dark lashes. dressed in a simple tuxedo and red bowtie. see below for picrew.

personality ;; playful and whimsical. it is a bit noisy, but otherwise quite charming. he loves to tell jokes, and isn't easily made upset or offended. doll is a good listener, but an even better speaker, with a talent for the art of oration.

[spacetimewithstuartgary]

First evidence of a volcanic spatter cone on Mars

While working under Erika Rader, an assistant professor in the Department of Earth and Spatial Sciences at University of Idaho, a postdoctoral researcher identified a volcanic vent on Mars as a potential spatter cone and compared it to a spatter cone formed during the 2021 eruption of Fagradalsfjall in Iceland.

Through a detailed morphological investigation and ballistic modeling, Ian T.W. Flynn discovered the Martian volcanic feature strongly resembles spatter cones found on Earth.

“Spatter cones are so common on Earth that it seemed extremely unlikely that they simply didn’t exist on Mars,” Rader said. “Since spatter cones can only form in the right conditions, their presence gives us a benchmark to shoot for when simulating Martian volcanoes.”

Spatter cones are created by hot lumps of flying lava falling to the surface during explosive volcanic eruptions, specifically during sustained periods of lava fountaining. They are found in many places on Earth — including in Idaho, most notably at Craters of the Moon National Monument and Preserve — and have long been suspected to be on Mars as well. However, until now, there wasn’t solid evidence of their existence.

“The similarity between the Mars and Icelandic spatter cones indicates that the eruption dynamics occurring in Iceland, over the last several years, also occurred on Mars,” Flynn said. “This is exciting as it expands the range of volcanic eruption styles possible on Mars.”

This discovery can give us clues about how volcanic eruptions happened on Mars, specifically regarding the gases in the magma and the environmental conditions at the time the eruption occurred. It’s also further confirmation that Icelandic — and Idahoan — volcanoes are erupting now the way volcanoes erupted millions of years ago on Mars.

“We are thrilled about this discovery because it fills a distinct observational gap in Martian volcanology, and it lays the groundwork for future investigations of spatter features on Mars,” Flynn said.

Flynn is now a research assistant professor at University of Pittsburgh, but he still collaborates with Rader.

IMAGE: (a) Nadir displayed HiRISE image (ESP_011413_1790) of the potential Martian spatter cone, located south of Pavonis Mons (1 degrees 5.45' S and 113 degrees 24.71' W). (b) Nadir displayed Pleiades visible image from 27 July 2021 (63 degrees 53.44' N and 22 degrees 16.13' W). (c) and (d) are hillshade DEMs of the Martian (2 vertical exaggeration) and Fagradalsfjall spatter cone (6 September 2022) (1 vertical exaggeration) volcanic vents, respectively. Black outlines in (c) and (d) indicate the exterior extent of the vent, and the black line transects are shown in Fig. 2 . (e) and (f) and zoomed in regions shown in (a), and (g) and (h) are zoomed in regions shown in (b).

[thenationaltreasuregazette]

The 2003 Script, Act 3

Act 1 | Act 2a | Act 2b | Act 3

Previously on The 2003 Script: Ben has escaped the FBI and Ian has the Declaration. Things have played out more or less they way you're familiar with them, with deviations growing with each act.

And now welcome to the crunchy, stabby, boney, wet third act of the National Treasure that could have been!

Trinity Church

Ben and Ian meet in Trinity Church and banter over whether they can trust each other. Ian says this:

IAN I actually quite like you. If we weren’t such enemies, I do believe we’d be great friends.

→ Fellas is it gay to think you’d be friends with the guy you’ve been trying to kill for two weeks if you weren’t trying to kill him? Magneto wants his bit back. In all seriousness, I do like this element of the final film, although back to the “on the nose” bit we talked about earlier, Ian doesn’t have to say it. It’s clear that they do have a lot in common and they could have been friends. I mean they were friends before the Charlotte. They played poker together. Ian was very supporting of Ben, and I don’t think that was only the means to an end.

Shaw brings in the Declaration and the bifocal glasses…and Ben STEPS ON THEM. He smashes the glasses so Ian can’t find the treasure without him.

Dude.

Ian holds a gun to Ben’s stomach.

→ Again, as we talked about in Pt 1, Ian and Shaw aren’t as differentiated as in the final film, where Shaw does the gun stuff on Ian’s behalf. (Fellas is it gay…)

Ben wants to trade the treasure for the Declaration. Ian and Shaw leave their guns behind at Ben’s demand.

As they exit the church, and old lady in a shawl grabs Ben’s wrist. It’s ABIGAIL. She saw the map back in Philadelphia and knew where to head. (She ditched the FBI with the old sneak-out-of-the-restroom trick.)

Sadusky tracks them by asking what in Manhattan hasn’t changed in 200 years.

→ That’s actually a really interesting approach! I’d like to see more of it. This kind of thinking could have been a neat direction to take part of the movie in.

Back at the church, Ben, Ian, and Abigail head into the Trinity Church Graveyard, where Riley is waiting. There is no “X” as the map promised. Except….

The map showed a moon, so maybe the X can only be seen at night. Ben opens the doors of the church and light spills into the graveyard…

…where a gravestone in the shape of a TEMPLAR CROSS casts an X-shaped shadow on a LONG STONE CRYPT.

At the base of the crypt is a keyhole.

Ben takes the meerschaum pipe, which Ian also had Shaw bring, and SMASHES IT to reveal a SKELETON KEY.

→ Stop destroying priceless historical artifacts you maniac! This does not totally seem like a person who would risk his safety for the Declaration, actually.

The key triggers a stone door to open in the crypt. Ben heads inside and the door starts to close. Ian, Shaw, and Riley scramble in, with Abigail diving in just as the door closes and landing in Ben’s arms.

The chemistry…electric.

→ There’s no world in which I would describe their on-screen relationship this way, and I like them a lot as a pairing. But just…no.

Ben wants Ian to give him the Declaration, but Ian doesn’t trust Ben to turn and leave the treasure behind, not where they’re this close.

→ Interesting! Does Ian know this Ben better than we do? Ben isn't really a character with a flaw, in the traditional sense, but if he were going to be, is this it?

Riley is sure there are traps coming because he’s watched Raiders of the Lost Arc too many times.

→ This is what I mean about this version being too genre-aware. By Riley pointing out the tropes we all know are coming, it flattens them. It invites us to focus on the ways in which the movie is derivative and “of its genre” rather than the ways it is different.

Then a SKELETON FALLS FROM THE CEILING!

SURPRISE! They’re underneath a mass grave of Hessians, German soldiers who fought for the British during the revolution.

→ It’s Abigail who explains this, which is a coincidence, but it’s a weird little rhyme with the fact that she ends up being German in the final film.

Shaw notices the pistol in one of the skeleton’s belts. He reaches up, tries to yank it out…

…and GETS FUCKING STABBED IN THE CHEST BY A BAYONET.

Then he stumbles through a dirt wall and falls a long, long way down to his death.

→ Shaw was always destined to die in the treasure pit I guess.

Ian immediate reaction is:

IAN Well, that was unfortunate, now wasn’t it?

→ Which is exponentially less gay than his reaction in the final movie.

Down the shaft is an elevator similar to the final film, but here there are no winding stairs or chandelier, it’s just, like, a hole. The elevator is also an enclosed wooden box.

And a million rats and cockroaches poor out when they open the door!

They all get in and descend with little fanfare.

---------------

Back on the surface, Sadusky has arrived and finds the broken pipe in the graveyard. He sees the disturbed crypt and orders a jackhammer be brought to the scene.

---------------

Down in the elevator, the gang observes that this elevator is designed to only go one way: down.

When it stops, there is WATER UP TO THEIR ANKLES.

→ That’s right! Hold onto your raincoats kids because we’re doing an underground water sequence like the one that would eventually end up in Book of Secrets.

They step into a stone antechamber and find a stone platform with three Templar swords stuck into it.

RILEY (sing-song) It’s a trap.

Ian pulls out a sword anyway. The SOUND OF RUSHING WATER intensifies.

Ben finds a bas relief of a snake cut into pieces. Join or die.

Then water FLOODS THE CHAMBER. The gang is up to their chests in no time, and the DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE IS FLOATING AWAY.

Abigail is able to grab it and hold it over her head.

Ben announces that they have to place a sword in each of the three vertices of a triangle carved into the floor. Literally working together or they die.

Ben dives down. Riley thinks this is nuts, but there’s no other choice. Ben and Riley retrieve the other two swords, then they and Ian dive down to do the thing while Abigail holds the Declaration above water.

---------------

Up with Sadusky, they’ve made it through the crypt wall.

---------------

Back down in water hell, the boys struggle to find the slots and insert the swords. Abigail and the Declaration get submerged just before…success. Ben finds the third sword spot and the stone ceiling starts sliding apart.

→ The final film moves the major obstacle of the finale sequence from an intentional one orchestrated by the tomb builders to an unintentional one as the stairs had become structurally unsound after 200 years underground. And I really like this change! One trope I’ve never liked all that much is what we see in Book of Secrets with the leave-one-man-behind tilt table. Because then I start asking questions like Who built this? What about the people who actually have to get to the treasure? (And especially to Cibola) How do they get in? I actually really love how time becomes an obstacle and a danger for them as much as, or more than, anything else.

---------------

Up top, Sadusky is to the elevator shaft, but it’s completely flooded.

---------------

Down below, Abigail, Ian, and Riley have surfaced but Ben has not. Ian picks up the Declaration. Ben emerges from the water, having retrieved one of their flashlights.

They use the light to see…a bronze alter stolen from the Temple of Solomon in the 5th century b.c. They find torches there and light them, revealing…

…THE TREASURE CHAMBER.

Dozens of marble Doric and Corinthian columns line the walls of the cavernous chamber filled with ancient treasures. Crown jewels, gold and silver plates and chalices, gilded cherubim, olivewood furniture, carriages, loot from the Oracle of Delphi, and countless sacred artifacts.

Ian is ready to have full digging through the treasure room but Ben just wants the Declaration back.

Ian would rather pick up the SWORD OF ALEXANDER THE GREAT…

…AND STAB RILEY IN THE STOMACH WITH IT!

→ The increased violence with the henchmen has at least payed off here. It might feel even more plot-armor-y if all of Ian’s crew was killed but no one on Team Treasure gained a scratch. However, this leaves Riley and Abigail sideline for most of the rest of the finale. And also, Riley!!! No!!!! My baby boy, you cannot do that to him. All in all, I think the level of violence in the final script works for the movie. We understand how much peril the gang is in with Shaw’s death and the addition of the stairs sequence.

Cue the second shirtless—or at least bare arms and a tank top—scene as Ben balls up his shirt and holds to Riley’s wound. Abigail holds if there while…

…Ben and Ian get into a sword fight.

Ben uses random treasure objects for defense until he finds a sword of his own. Ian is pissed that Ben has to be all noble instead of just debating how they’re going to divvy up the treasure.

IAN I don’t trust honest men.

→ He and Jack Sparrow agree on this, at least.

Hey!! I wrote this wayyyy before the Abigail and Elizabeth series. Hehe.

They duel. The Declaration falls to the ground.

Abigail has Riley take over applying pressure while she dives for the Declaration, which is rolling towards the drain…

…and she misses!

The Declaration is stuck down in the drain, out of her reach.

Ben’s sword breaks and he’s back to using random objects for defense, which Ian is gleefully destroying.

Ian gets his sword stuck in one of the pillars. Ben pushes a Greek limestone statue toward Ian. It crashes into the pillar, leaving just enough space for Ian to not get crushed.

But Ian can’t get over his own hubris and anger, so he yanks the Sword of Alexander out of the pillar, causing the statue to fall and dying a Disney villain’s death.

→ I realize this is a Disney movie, but you know what I mean.

The falling statue breaks through to the elevator shaft, flooding the treasure room. The cavern begins to collapse.

Ben uses the Sword of Alexander to smash open the drain, allowing Abigail to reach the Declaration.

Riley is still making snarky, genre-aware quips as they pull him half-conscious through the antechamber and back to the elevator. Ben cuts one of the elevator chains so that it shoots back up and carries them out of the shaft.

→ One of the most fundamental changes of the story that we see from this script to the version filmed is the final fate of the treasure. The script follows the Raiders of the Lost Arc/The Goonies model where the heroes don’t get to keep the treasure. I understand what why this is a thing. It underscores how the protagonists are noble and are willing to let the promise of riches go to save themselves, or something like that. And it can be used really effectively, such as in Finding Ohana, one of my favorite newer treasure hunt movies. However, I don’t know. I like that they get to find the treasure at the end. Although it certainly raises several blog posts worth of questions about what happens to the treasure next, that scene where they find the treasure room and are so awed and overjoyed by it is one of my favorite parts of the movie. (I realize I say that about many parts of the movie, but it’s true!) The score swells. Ben and Patrick celebrate the culmination of their family’s life’s work. Ben finds the pendent we saw on Christopher Columbus in the opening exposition, bringing the cycle of treasure protection full circle. Abigail is awed by the scrolls from the Library of Alexandria, underscoring the historical value of the find, and also reinforcing her character as an archivist devoted to preserving documents specifically. Riley has his moment with the “big bluish-green man with a strange-looking goatee.” Everybody takes in the treasure in their own way, and it’s special to me, okay? In this version, Ben is so focused on getting the Declaration back that he doesn’t even get to appreciate the treasure? In fact, he and Ian destroy quite a bit of it in their fight. I don’t know. It just doesn’t hit the same.

Up on the surface while Riley is literally dying, Abigail lands on Ben and they have another moment.

→ 😑

Sadusky is here. The Feds and police swarm to help/arrest them.

Later, Sadusky hands the Declaration over to an armored truck

which pulls away with an escort of a dozen police cars.

EMTs load Riley into an ambulance.

→ So we were pretty accurate with our predictions in the aftermath series on this count.

BEN Aren’t you going to arrest us? SADUSKY What for? You do something wrong?

He even offers them a ride, which Ben and Abigail decline.

It’s only as Sadusky is leaving that we get CLOSE ON SADUSKY’S HAND to see that he wears a SILVER MASONIC RING of the type we’ve seen in several flashbacks by now.

Ben laments that no one will ever know about the treasure. Abigail kisses him.

When he asks if that one meant anything, she responds

ABIGAIL Only time will tell.

Months later

Ben, Abigail, Riley (now healed), Patrick, Sadusky and his team, Dr. Herbert, Woodruff and the rest of the guards all watch as the Declaration of Independence is raised back up into its case. Woodruff even sheds a tear.

This is a secret ceremony only for the people who knew the Declaration was ever missing in the first place. They scatter back to their regular routine after observing that

WOODRUFF No one will ever know.

They open the doors and patrons and tourists flood the museum.

Outside, Agent Sadusky comes up to Ben and Riley. (Abigail and the others having gone back to work). He’s got a project for them.

SADUSKY It seems that, well, the President’s been looking for, uh, something else for a very long time, and he would very much appreciate your help in finding it.

Riley complains that he never got paid for the last treasure hunt.

SADUSKY How much do you want?

They continue talking as we pull up to a glorious panorama of Washington D.C.

FADE OUT.

→ So there you have it! National Treasure, the 2003 script. It ends very much where Book of Secrets does in the final versions of things. You can see quite a bit of the DNA of BoS in this finale. We’ve already spent quite a bit of time on this, so maybe we save the postmortem for another post, yeah? In the meantime, tell me what you thought!! Had you read the script before? What do you think of it?

[hazardous-waste-containment]

non-exhaustive list of sources that are imo especially interesting/thought-provoking, just really solid, or otherwise a personal favorite:

MISC

“Leaders and Martyrs: Codreanu, Mosley and José Antonio,” Stephen M. Cullen (1986)

“Bureaucratic Politics in Radical Military Regimes,” Gregory J. Kasza (1987)

A History of Fascism, 1914–1945, Stanley Payne (1996)

The Fascist Revolution: Toward a General Theory of Fascism, George L. Mosse (1999)

Fascism Outside Europe: The European Impulse against Domestic Conditions in the Diffusion of Global Fascism, ed. Stein U. Larsen (2001)

Ancient Religions, Modern Politics: The Islamic Case in Comparative Perspective, Michael Cook (2014)

MARXISM

“Crisis and the Way Out: The Rise of Fascism in Italy and Germany,” Mihály Vajda (1972)

“Austro-Marxist Interpretation of Fascism,” Gerhard Botz (1976)

“Fascism: some common misconceptions,” Noel Ignatin (1978)

“Gramsci’s Interpretation of Fascism,” Walter L. Adamson (1980)

ARGENTINA

“The Ideological Origins of Right and Left Nationalism in Argentina, 1930–43,” Alberto Spektorowski (1994)

“The Making of an Argentine Fascist. Leopoldo Lugones: From Revolutionary Left to Radical Nationalism,” Alberto Spektorowski (1996)

“Argentine Nacionalismo before Perón: The Case of the Alianza de la Juventud Nacionalista, 1937–c. 1943,” Marcus Klein (2001)

BRAZIL

“Tenentismo in the Brazilian Revolution of 1930,” John D. Wirth (1964)

“Ação Integralista Brasileira: Fascism in Brazil, 1932–1938,” Stanley E. Hilton (1972)

“Integralism and the Brazilian Catholic Church,” Margaret Todaro Williams (1974)

“Ideology and Diplomacy: Italian Fascism and Brazil (1935–1938),” Ricardo Silva Seitenfus (1984)

“The corporatist thought in Miguel Reale: readings of Italian fascism in Brazilian integralismo,” João Fábio Bertonha (2013)

CHILE

“Corporatism and Functionalism in Modern Chilean Politics,” Paul W. Drake (1978)

“Nationalist Movements and Fascist Ideology in Chile,” Jean Grugel (1985)

“A Case of Non-European Fascism: Chilean National Socialism in the 1930s,” Mario Sznajder (1993)

CHINA

Revolutionary Nativism: Fascism and Culture in China, 1925–1937, Maggie Clinton (2017)

CROATIA

“An Authoritarian Parliament: The Croatian State Sabor of 1942,” Yeshayahu Jelinek (1980)

“The End of “Historical-Ideological Bedazzlement”: Cold War Politics and Émigré Croatian Separatist Violence, 1950–1980,” Mate Nikola Tokić (2012)

EGYPT

“An Interpretation of Nasserism,” Willard Range (1959)

Egypt’s Young Rebels: “Young Egypt,” 1933–1952, James P. Jankowski (1975)

“The Use of the Pharaonic Past in Modern Egyptian Nationalism,” Michael Wood (1998)

FRANCE

“Mores, “The First National Socialist”,” Robert F. Byrnes (1950)

“The Political Transition of Jacques Doriot,” Gilbert D. Allardyce (1966)

“National Socialism and Antisemitism: The Case of Maurice Barrès,” Zeev Sternhell (1973)

“Georges Valois and the Faisceau: The Making and Breaking of a Fascist,” Jules Levey (1973)

“The Condottieri of the Collaboration: Mouvement Social Révolutionnaire,” Bertram M. Gordon (1975)

“Myth and Violence: The Fascism of Julius Evola and Alain de Benoist,” Thomas Sheehan (1981)

GERMANY

“A German Racial Revolution?” Milan L. Hauner (1984)

“Abortion and Eugenics in Nazi Germany,” Henry P. David, Jochen Fleischhacker, and Charlotte Höhn (1988)

“Nietzschean Socialism — Left and Right, 1890–1933,” Steven E. Aschheim (1988)

The Brown Plague: Travels in Late Weimar and Early Nazi Germany, Daniel Guérin, tr. Robert Schwartzwald (1994)

“Hitler and the Uniqueness of Nazism,” Ian Kershaw (2004)

HAITI

“Ideology and Political Protest in Haiti, 1930–1946,” David Nicholls (1974)

“Michel-Rolph Trouillot’s State Against Nation: A Critique of the Totalitarian Paradigm,” Robert Fatton, Jr. (2013)

IRAN

“Iran’s Islamic Revolution in Comparative Perspective,” Said Amir Arjomand (1986)

IRAQ

“Arab-Kurdish Rivalries in Iraq,” Lettie M. Wenner (1963)

“From Paper State to Caliphate: The Ideology of the Islamic State,” Cole Bunzel (2015)

“Iraqi Archives and the Failure of Saddam’s Worldview in 2003,” Samuel Helfont (2023)

ISRAEL

“The Emergence of the Israeli Radical Right,” Ehud Sprinzak (1989)

“Max Nordau, Liberalism and the New Jew,” George L. Mosse (1992)

The Stern Gang: Ideology, Politics and Terror, 1940–1949, Joseph Heller (1995)

““Hebrew” Culture: The Shared Foundations of Ratosh’s Ideology and Poetry,” Elliott Rabin (1999)

“Israel’s fascist sideshow takes center stage,” Natasha Roth-Rowland (2019)

“‘Frightening proportions’: On Meir Kahane’s assimilation doctrine,” Erik Magnusson (2021)

ITALY

“The Fascist Conception of Law,” H. Arthur Steiner (1936)

“The Goals of Italian Fascism,” Edward R. Tannenbaum (1969)

“Fascist Modernization in Italy: Traditional or Revolutionary?” Roland Sarti (1970)

“Fascism as Political Religion,” Emilio Gentile (1990)

“I redentori della vittoria: On Fiume’s Place in the Genealogy of Fascism,” Hans Ulrich Gumbrecht (1996)

JAPAN

“A New Look at the Problem of “Japanese Fascism”,” George M. Wilson (1968)

“Marxism and National Socialism in Taishō Japan: The Thought of Takabatake Motoyuki,” Germaine A. Hoston (1984)

“Fascism from Below? A Comparative Perspective on the Japanese Right, 1931–1936,” Gregory J. Kasza (1984)

“Japan’s Wartime Labor Policy: A Search for Method,” Ernest J. Notar (1985)

“Fascism from Above? Japan’s Kakushin Right in Comparative Perspective,” Gregory J. Kasza (2001)

PARAGUAY

“Political Aspects of the Paraguayan Revolution, 1936–1940,” Harris Gaylord Warren (1950)

“Toward a Weberian Characterization of the Stroessner Regime in Paraguay (1954–1989),” Marcial Antonio Riquelme (1994)

ROMANIA

“The Men of the Archangel,” Eugen Weber (1966)

“Breaking the Teeth of Time: Mythical Time and the “Terror of History” in the Rhetoric of the Legionary Movement in Interwar Romania,” Raul Carstocea (2015)

RUSSIA

“Was There a Russian Fascism? The Union of Russian People,” Hans Rogger (1964)

“The All-Russian Fascist Party,” Erwin Oberländer (1966)

“The Zhirinovsky Threat,” Jacob W. Kipp (1994)

Russian Fascism: Traditions, Tendencies, Movements, Stephen Shenfield (2000)

“Why fascists took over the Reichstag but have not captured the Kremlin: a comparison of Weimar Germany and post-Soviet Russia,” Steffen Kailitz and Andreas Umland (2017)

SLOVAKIA

“Storm-troopers in Slovakia: the Rodobrana and the Hlinka Guard,” Yeshayahu Jelinek (1971)

SPAIN

“The Forgotten Falangist: Ernesto Gimenez Cabellero,” Douglas W. Foard (1975)

Fascism in Spain, 1923–1977, Stanley Payne (1999)

“Spanish Fascism as a Political Religion (1931–1941),” Zira Box and Ismael Saz (2011)

SYRIA

The Ba‘th and the Creation of Modern Syria, David Roberts (1987)

TURKEY

“Kemalist Authoritarianism and fascist Trends in Turkey during the Interwar Period,” Fikret Adanïr (2001)

“The Other From Within: Pan-Turkist Mythmaking and the Expulsion of the Turkish Left,” Gregory A. Burris (2007)

“The Racist Critics of Atatürk and Kemalism, from the 1930s to the 1960s,” İlker Aytürk (2011)

UNITED KINGDOM

“Northern Ireland and British fascism in the inter-war years,” James Loughlin (1995)

“‘What’s the Big Idea?’: Oswald Mosley, the British Union of Fascists and Generic Fascism,” Gary Love (2007)

“Why Fascism? Sir Oswald Mosley and the Conception of the British Union of Fascists,” Matthew Worley (2011)

UNITED STATES

“Ezra Pound and American Fascism,” Victor C. Ferkiss (1955)

“Populist Influences on American Fascism,” Victor C. Ferkiss (1957)

“Vigilante Fascism: The Black Legion as an American Hybrid,” Peter H. Amann (1983)

“Silver Shirts in the Northwest: Politics, Personalities, and Prophecies in the 1930s,” Eckard V. Toy, Jr. (1989)

“Women in the 1920s’ Ku Klux Klan Movement,” Kathleen M. Blee (1991)

“‘Leaderless Resistance’,” Jeffrey Kaplan (1997)

“The post-war paths of occult national socialism: from Rockwell and Madole to Manson,” Jeffrey Kaplan (2001)

“The Upward Path: Palingenesis, Political Religion and the National Alliance,” Martin Durham (2004)

“The F Word: Is Donald Trump a fascist?” Dylan Matthews (2021)

“Castizo Futurism and the Contradictions of Multiracial White Nationalism,” Ben Lorber and Natalie Li (2022)

[mithliya]

It annoys me to the core how western movements took liberty of appropriating the word "caucasian" for their own vocab as if it was lying around before, meaningless and unused. im a caucasian woman a.k.a a woman born in Dagestan, Caucasus region. i grew up in rural area, with my deeply religious, muslim grandparents( &with all the "percs" that come with it), bc my mom was working her ass off as a nurse 24/7 to feed us, and my dad was prosecuted for being a political activist and couldn't find any job. Eventually, we had to flee our home bc the pressure for my family's political position and ethnicity was immense and honestly hard to bare.

Now, the topic of russian colonisation of Caucasus was somewhat clear before, i could talk in length on it, esp since have a major in history. But now that "caucasian" was rebranded as a new name for white people in the US, i found myself striped of a basic language to describe oppression of my people.

At first, i thought it was only a US-ian quirk, but as i studied in Germany, i had to repeatedly defend my stance on using "caucasian" to name my ethnicity bc profs were arguing that the term is too broad and ambiguous and i should choose another word/title etc. I had to argue with my coursemates a lot bc we essentially misunderstand eachother when i say smth like "the oppression of caucasian people". People online call me racist for calling out this practice.

Honestly, sometimes i lose hope. Everyone see the effects of imperialism and colonization when it's time to point at US ro Canada or UK w/e, but not when it's russian empire/ussr/russian federation. What's more, ru's imperialism is overlooked and enabled. It's always "oh, not all russians" but even ru leftists are imperialists, even ru feminists are imperialists. Tell them not to call caucasians racial and ethnic slurs and mention the possibility of your region gaining independence, and they'll have a meltdown.

Anyways, thanks for reading this. i really didn't mean to vent this much, but as an exmuslim lesbian, i found your blog really compelling. l appreciate your active position and calling out racist and lesbophobes.

i would say it’s not western movements necessarily unless u count those western people that invented the terms for different races to be that,, but ive seen many ppl from the caucus region complain about this too. i wouldn’t say its a new thing either, they’ve been using caucasian to mean white people for quite some time as it was a part of race science. at the same time they called black ppl and asians “negroid” & “mongoloid” respectively, which is now deemed racist for obvious reasons. “mongoloid” probably related to mongols specifically too which makes it confusing. whereas “caucasian” was used to mean basically everyone else. interestingly they didn’t invent the term “europoid” for example so they intentionally made it a broad term & named it after the caucus region bc they deemed ppl from there the mist beautiful and thus the same as europeans.

i feel u tho, ignoring that russia also colonised many countries is unfortunately common & it sucks theres no term that clearly refers to ppl from the caucus bc europeans appropriated caucasian to apply to themselves

[randomfoggytiger]

From the anonymous ask: what is a theme that runs through all of your favourite media? What do they all have in common?

Thanks for dropping in! :DDD

I have two categories:

those I enjoy for entertainment value (The X-Files, The Tv Set, Silence of the Lambs, Frasier, animated classics, Star Wars OG and prequels?, The Scarlet Pimpernel series w/ Ian McKellen, Lord of the Rings, etc.)

and those that speak to me (Good Will Hunting, The Little Mermaid, What Happens Later, The Truman Show, Random Harvest, Speed Racer, etc.)

The ones that speak to me are themed around identity~.

[with-a-martyr-complex]

With A Martyr Complex: Reading List 2023

Adapted from the annual list from @balioc​, a list of books (primarily audiobooks) consumed this year. This list excludes several podcasts, but includes dramatizations and college lecture series from The Great Courses, which I consume like a parrot emotionally dependent on access to lecturers.

The Birth of Tragedy Out Of The Spirit of Music byFriedrich Nietzsche (Translated by Ian Johnston)

Death in Venice by Thomas Mann (Translated by Michael Henry Heim, Introduction by Michael Cunningham)

Financial Literacy: Finding Your Way in the Financial Markets by Connel Fullenkamp, from The Great Courses

The Dispossessed: A Novel by Ursula K. Le Guin

License to Travel: A Cultural History of the Passport by Patrick Bixby

Making History: How Great Historians Interpret the Past by Allen C. Guelzo, from The Great Courses

No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai (Translated by Donald Keene)

Cyteen by C. J. Cherryh

Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass: An American Slave by Frederick Douglass

Understanding Japan: A Cultural History by Mark J. Ravina, from The Great Courses

The Mountains of Mourning by Lois McMaster Bujold

What Has Passed Shall In Kinder Light Appear by Baoshu (Translated by Ken Liu)

The Other Side of History: Daily Life in the Ancient World by Robert Garland from The Great Courses

The Just City by Jo Walton

Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare

Understanding Imperial China: Dynasties, Life, and Culture by Andrew R. Wilson, from The Great Courses

Stories of Your Life and Others by Ted Chiang (Contains: Tower of Babylon, Understand, Division By Zero, Story of Your Life, Seventy-Two Letters, The Evolution of Human Science, Hell is the Absence of God, and Liking What You See.)

Great Minds of the Eastern Intellectual Tradition by Grant Hardy, from The Great Courses

By The Sword: A History of Gladiators, Musketeers, Samurai, Swashbucklers, and Olympic Champions by Richard Cohen

War in Japan: 1467-1615 by Stephen Turnbull

Yūrei: The Japanese Ghost by Zack Davisson

Nine Princes in Amber by Roger Zelazny

The Tale of Genji by Murasaki Shikibu (Translated by Dennis Washburn)

Buddhism by Malcolm David Eckel, from The Great Courses

The Rise of Modern Japan by Mark Ravina, from The Great Courses

The Shogun's Last Samurai Corps: The Bloody Battles and Intrigues of the Shinsengumi by Romulus Hillsborough

Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata, (Translated by Ginny Tapley Takemori)

Spring Snow by Yukio Mishima (Translated by Michael Gallagher)

Child of God by Cormac McCarthy

The Rise of Communism: From Marx to Lenin by Vejas Gabriel Liulevicius, from The Great Courses

Communism in Power: From Stalin to Mao by Vejas Gabriel Liulevicius, from The Great Courses

Common Sense by Thomas Paine

The Hunchback of Notre Dame by Victor Hugo (Translated by Isabel F. Hapgood)

Cycles of American Political Thought by Joseph F. Kobylka, from The Great Courses

Docile by K. M. Szpara

Writing Great Fiction: Storytelling Tips and Techniques by James Hynes, from The Great Courses

Giovanni's Room by James Baldwin

Hart's Hope by Orson Scott Card

Real Service by Raven Kaldera and Joshua Tenpenny

The Divine Comedy by Dante Alhigieri (Translated by Clive James)

Dante's Divine Comedy by William R. Cook and Ronald B. Herzman from The Great Courses

Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie

Secrets of The Occult by Richard B. Spence (From the Great Courses, possibly?)

A Deadly Education by Naomi Novik

American Monsters by Adam Jortner from The Great Courses

The Last Graduate by Naomi Novik

Praetorian: The Rise and Fall of Rome's Imperial Bodyguard byGuy de la Bédoyère

The Golden Enclaves by Naomi Novik

Great World Religions: Hinduism by Mark W. Muesse, from The Great Courses

At The Mountains of Madness by H. P. Lovecraft

The Case of Charles Dexter Ward by H. P. Lovecraft

The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath by H. P. Lovecraft

The Dunwich Horror by H. P. Lovecraft

The Shadow Out of Time by H. P. Lovecraft

The Shadow Over Innsmouth by H. P. Lovecraft

The Whisperer in Darkness by H. P. Lovecraft

The Complete Fiction of H. P. Lovecraft by H. P. Lovecraft (Collected by The H. P. Lovecraft Historical Society, contains: The Alchemist, At the Mountains of Madness, Azathoth, The Best in the Cave, Beyond the Wall of Sleep, The Book, The Call of Cthulhu, The Case of Charles Dexter Ward, The Cats of Ulthar, Celephais, The Colour out of Space, Cool Air, Dagon, The Descendent, Discarded Draft of "The Shadow Over Innsmouth," The Doom that Came to Sarnath, The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath, The Dreams in the Witch House, The Dunwich Horror, The Evil Clergyman, Ex Oblivione, Facts Concerning the Late Arthur Jermyn and His Family, The Festival, From Beyond, The Haunter of the Dark, He, Herbert West-Reanimator, History of the Necronomicon, The Horror at Red Hook, TheHound, Hypnos, Ibid, In the Vault, The Little Glass Bottle, The Lurking Fear, Memory, The Moon-Bog, The Music of Erich Zann, The Mysterious Ship (Long and Short Versions), The Mystery of the Grave-Yard, The Nameless City, Nyarlathotep, Old Bugs, The Other Gods, The Outsider, Pickman's Model, The Picture in the House, Polaris, The Quest of Iranon, The Rats in the Walls, A Reminiscence of Dr. Samuel Johnson, The Secret Cave, The Shadow out of Time, The Shadow Over Innsmouth, The Shunned House, The Silver Key, The Statement of Randolph Carter, The Strange High House in the Mist, The Street, Sweet Ermengarde, The Temple, The Terrible Old Man, The Thing on the Doorstep, Through the Gates of the Silver KeyThe Tomb, The Transition of Juan Romero, The Tree, Under the Pyramids, The Unnamable, The Very Old Folk, What the Moon Brings, The Whisperer in Darkness, The White Ship)

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

Patton: The Man Behind The Legend, 1885-1945 by Martin Blumenson

Piranesi by Susanna Clarke

One Billion Americans: The Case for Thinking Bigger by Matt Yglesias

Red: A History of the Redhead by Jacky Colliss Harvey

The Man Who Laughs by Victor Hugo (Translated by Isabel Florence Hapgood)

The Rape of the Mind: The Psychology of Thought Control, Menticide, and Brainwashing by Joost A. M. Meerloo

The Traitor Baru Cormorant by Seth Dickinson

Legacies of Great Economists by Timothy Taylor from The Great Courses

Incomplete books: Trouble on Triton, Comparative Hell: Arts of Asian Underworlds, Dark Archives, The History of the World: Map by Maps, The Iliad (Emily Wilson Translation), Christina Queen of Sweden: The Restless Life of a European Eccentric, The Three Musketeers, The Only Plane in the Sky, Myth in Human History, The Dragon: Fear and Power

---

Great Courses consumed: 17?

Non-Great Courses Nonfiction consumed: 13

---

Works consumed by women: 13

Works consumed by men: 53

Works consumed by men and women: 0

Works that can plausibly be considered of real relevance to foreign policy (including appropriate histories): 7

---

With A Martyr Complex’s Choice Award, fiction division: Convenience Store Woman

>>>> Honorable mention: Hart's Hope, Ancillary Justice, Child of God, No Longer Human, Piranesi, the first 1/3 of Cyteen, What Has Passed Shall in Kinder Light Appear

With A Martyr Complex’s Choice Award, nonfiction division: By The Sword

>>>> Honorable mention: The Shogun's Last Samurai Corps, Praetorian, The Birth of Tragedy most of the Great Courses stuff I got to this year

>>>> Great Courses Division: Buddhism

The Annual “An Essential Work of Surpassing Beauty that Isn’t Fair to Compare To Everything Else” Award: The Divine Comedy

>>>> Honorable mention: Julius Caesar, The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath, The Shadow Out of Time, Pride and Prejudice, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, The Man Who Laughs, The Dispossessed

The “Reading This Book Will Give You Great Insight Into The Way I See The World” Award: What Has Passed Shall In Kinder Light Appear

>>>> Honorable mention: Hell is the Absence of God (from Stories of Your Life and Others)

The "My Mind is Thoroughly Exhausted By Reading Through All This But It Was Worth It In The End" Award: The Tale of Genji

Book Most in Need of A Single Extra Chapter: The Man Who Laughs

Best Dude: Darcy from Pride and Prejudice

---

This is the first year where I didn't struggle to reach my 52 book goal at all, only some of which is thanks to the Lovecraft marathon. I also read a ton of short sci-fi stories early in the year for an online class I took (which is also why there are so many sci-fi novels in the beginning of the year) and feel much more knowledgeable in the genre even though I'm still not very well read in it. I will be taking a fantasy course next year to what I assume will be similar effect.

It's still hard to read non-audiobooks, made worse this year by a promotion at work that means I have much less free time overall but still a fair deal of time for audiobooks while working with my hands. My (I don't post it) movie list suffered similarly, with this being the first year in a while I didn't hit my movie target. Not discussed: I read various comics this year! Standouts: Chainsaw Man Part 1, the first volume of Pluto, Fun Home, the fifth volume of Phoenix, Look Back

Goals for next year: more foreign policy reading, more literary fiction, write something of my own, ohgodthesearethesamegoalsaslastyearpleasetellmeI'mnotstagnating

[rt-lots]

🧠💚 ian and rammy? 🎹🌺 Rodi (n if not on that second one... heh...)

brain 4 ian and rammy: BWAAAH honestly idek... for ian i like his stupid stupid personality. he feels real to me. i also really like his backstory / family life specifically bc ive thought rlly hard about it and i think he just feels like a real person... on the other hand i rlly like rammys design! her red eye is so iconic to me i want to kiss her on the lips. what. who said that. shes explicitly dark green and not black so the contrast of her red eye and her body is more uncomfortable to look at, bc eyes in their universe are a common symbol for judgement, shame, and the discomfort that accompanies it. i think it reflects well on her function as a character in relation 2 ian and also gives her a sinister vibe as a virus ^_^

green heart 4 ian and rammy: ian is a cishet man. if you u ask nicely he can be a little bisexual. rammy doesnt know her identity and i dont know it either, but saying shes cishet makes me feel ill

piano 4 rodi: rodi enjoys arts and crafts! she likes to make really tiny cutesy things. she also loves house decorating games and watching videos of those people who decorate the fuck out of envelopes for their small business. of course, she also likes writing love poems... she rarely gives them out though, because they just feel all too intimate. (love poems arent inherently romantic for her, she writes them for everyone and anyone!)

flower 4 rodi: no... heh... i thought abt shipping her w amorette but meh :P ive also toyed w the idea of him being arospec, like he loves romance but waiting for attraction is like waiting for The Evil Bus to arrive. (it takes 4ever)

[writingmochi]

i don’t do this much often but i just wanna write my opinion on tnc: temptation as a moa that also listen to many songs of differing genres (and also has been straying away from kpop/stan community—i may say that i have a pretty clear helicopter view). if i don’t write this, i would not live w/ myself, yet in the end it is my opinion so…

a honest review of tnc: tempation purely from musical observation (not proofread)

1. devil by the window: when this song was first announced w/o hearing any snippets of it until the release, i predict it’ll sound towards dark fantasy-esque genre, ethereal sounding like bts’ jimin’s “lie” or dpr ian’s “1 shot”. but it is dark fantasy-esque but more towards “cysm” kinda macabre type. i can see this playing in the wednesday netflix show.

but, the autotune makes the voice fuzzy in a way that it made my head a tad bit hurt. i think the sound engineer pushes the voice near the lower eq that it sounds as if its drowning in the instrumental and almost having its breath all taken out + the autotune is not great that i cannot make out taehyun’s voice from the song (why can’t i find my boy?!). i can hear some inspiration from billie eilish’s “bad guy” and “bury a friend” and w/ the peter pan concept, definitely make peter pan more like a creep. it’s also an all english song and i have a bad sentiment w/ kpop group singing all english song but that’s just my preference

2. sugar rush ride: the guitar sample is very nice, giving a funky taste to it. mid-verse parts w/ the voice sample before each pre-choruses are also very nice, probably my favorite parts of the whole song.

ngl, i think the producers has an epiphany w/ enhypen title tracks and realize that txt should do the same thing which is “making a title track without a bridge”. the format is literally verse > mid-verse > pre-chorus > chorus > post-chorus > verse > mid-verse > pre-chrous > chrous > post-chorus > outro. the idea of “sugar rush ride” doesn’t get elevated in the end and that is probably the reason why i think the song is “empty” instrumentally and the anti-drop in the chorus part doesn’t help. the song, imo, could be better w/ more instrumental tracks added at the end as if the song is stacking up to the climax that is the last chorus and outro. if “sugar rush ride” was a roller coaster, it wouldn’t feel thrilling for every1 who ride it

3. happy fools: the intro with the bossa nova melody and double bass sound makes me think it is a bossa nova sounding song but when the 808 drum beat starting, it becomes a hip-hop song that gen z likes to hear and in my opinion, a very common one that it doesn’t stand out as a txt track. it also has some salem ilese’s “ps5” coding to it. i think this song will blow up in tiktok as a background sound for a diy tutorial arts and craft type of stuff cuz it is artsy in a way. i’m also more convince it is made for tiktok because of its 2:35 length which very short and it cuts very abruptly at the end. i don’t like songs that are cater to tiktok even though it is the best way for them to market the album and this song has a whole “this song is made to be a tiktok sound that would go viral” all over it

4. tinnitus: this song definitely has a more tropical sound to it and it combine with the dancehall beat makes it feel that it is made to be danced by the ocean. the song is also stagnant as if it supposed to be a bgm for a video game that is supposed to be repeated. though the song fades unlike happy fools, the fading sound cuts to quickly that it is so abrupt i can’t even catch a breath fast enough. a short review for a short song…

5. farewell, neverland: when i hear the guitar intro, i already guess it’s gonna be great song. i imagine it like they’re going to tell a story by a campfire on the neverland sands as a farewell for them to go home. a good track to end the album! and even though it doesn’t have a bridge (cuz it’s 3 mins long aka i want more), the song has a clear arc on how it will be sing/presented especially with the closing that we met the guitar again. kinda like the hero’s journey but a small one, a current summary for the bigger hero’s journey txt has done in this album and the lore of it. though i haven’t read the lyrics, i could guess it’ll also be as beautiful as the melody, harmony, n rhythm of the song…

final ranking:

5. happy fools

4. devil by the window

3. tinnitus

2. sugar rush ride (the mid-verse part is very memorable that it pushes the song up the rank)

1. farewell, neverland (a clear no. 1 in my heart and soul)

closing remarks: why is the album so short? why are the songs not even pass a 3’ 30” mark? why are you making songs w/o bridge bighit n by proxy hybe? the problem w/ autotune is still there especially in devil, probably in the mid to low tier rank of txt’s discography but for album visual concept, it’ll be at the top along with tcc: fight or escape n tdc: magic

[bcomic-blog]

Yes, but also: I don't want my grocery store to be run like a business, I don't want my apartment building to be run like a business, I don't want MUCH OF ANYTHING to be run like a business

A common question people get is "what radicalized you?" and in many ways for me it was the 1961 Wilder satire of US corporate culture, One Two Three...

It was made ten years before I was born, a major Hollywood release at the time, and I saw it when I had just reached adulthood. It's about a Coca-Cola exec played by Cagney involved in expanding US soda into W Germany (I think? Lol, it's been over 30 years!) and his motto was "the business of America is business!"

That phrase has been stuck in my head ever since. I mean, it's a satire, it's meant to make you question things... But it's such a perfect distillation of the US-ian valorization of hucksterism and of the mindless growth mindset of a cancer cell.

The aphorism is built to LOOK like a truism: of course "business is business"!... but, the word is actually being used in two entirely different senses...

The first one is along the lines of a "concern" or "objective" or maybe "role" and the second one is in the sense of "commercial activities"...

And "business" (commercial activity) has always struck me as just the most pathetic and unworthy endeavor to make the central concern of a whole nation and to then infect the world with

What if the business of America were creating great works of art. What if the business of America were family: raising our children and caring for our elders

What if the business of America (and the world) were caring for the people around us, whoever they may be?

So no, I don't want ANYTHING to be run like a business. "Business" HAD its chance to show, like it's advocates claim, that making almost every human endeavor an act of commerce would make for the best possible world for the most people, and I think we've seen how it's practically the opposite

It's time to try SOMETHING new

[theuniverseawakens347]

Preston how ya come back… well .. Ian not working cuz he weird w Kimora aaja pimping n stealing .. I’m good dick toy fail n friendship fail ya only call pop up on my balcony when U MISS ME ..

And Noah DeCoursey I’m using speech text obviously, but you randomly popped up at seaside and told me the first time when you were on campus and if I was there and I told you come through to my dorm and I was going through stuff with Ian and I, but you’re telling somebody I was dating Tristan I wasn’t dating anybody ….

I literally broke up with Cameron a month into him moving to Berkeley because that Knigge started to get weird and possessive over me talking about them if I’m mad and we’re in an argument I can’t go out and hang out with anybody while I’m in my summer whatever and I’m trying to figure out my roommates and make friends on campus … I broke up with you for sure for good but told you we could still be friends because that’s what you need two weeks or a week and a half before I met Ian….

it was like at first sight for him and infatuation for me in hindsight because I’m looking at like oh you got muscles I like that you’re tall you’re taller than me. That’s the first boyfriend since high school except for Julian Harrell, but that was a boo thing and then you first here who like I don’t know I wanted a buzz down and I also just for sure for sure. Got rid of camera. We’re no longer dating. We’re back a friends zone. and I also just for sure for sure. Got rid of camera. We’re no longer dating. We’re back and friends zone.

but our first night of meeting, Ian invited us to a party or actually we were already going to the party, but he ended up being the driver to the party. I said in the front seat and he was trying to roll weed before we went into the party, but the Knigge was so nervous that I was I was verbally helping him and telling him there’s a faster way to do that but he wanted to do it so I let him and we stayed at the party for an hour and a half to two hours and brought us back to drop us off but it’s like 1112 I’m saying I’m hungry so the girls are like oh you and Ian should go get McDonald’s so we went and got McDonald’s and then we went back to the common room and the dorm lounge area and we stayed and talked until like 6 AM …. And immediately just broke up, but we’re in an awkward phase. I didn’t go straight into full detail, but I said he’s still trying to talk to me and I’m not talking to him and I literally showed you text messages between me and Cameron.

and then it went to like Cameron on the iPad doing the most. I guess somebody got back to him telling him that I’m now talking to a new Knigge so now Cameron’s talking about some well I want to come into town and hang out with you and like put a final into us, I need closure September 17, 2013 this popped up in town. I still had not fucked Ian… cause it was weird with Cameron being possessive over me and wouldn’t fucking let me go all the way and again I should’ve just cut that shit completely lesson learned in hindsight….

September 17, 2013 I take a trip home to LA. I get to come pick me up. I end up hanging out with Cameron I get to his house. He gets me strawberry covered chocolates knowing that’s my favorite thing but he’s never done that for me so I’m looking at him like what the fuck and he’s looking at me like please take me back and I’m thinking to myself myself and Knigge only do this Knigge fucked up and I broke up with you so you had to have cheated or done some dumb ass shit. … I didn’t even eat the strawberries. I probably ate one or something and put them back and I’m like we’re gonna we’re not getting back together and then we went. I think I left…. but I’m a backtrack because when I got to Cameron‘s house, his parents and everybody was gone and like same old feelings came rushing through so we like hung out in his room and was trying to fuck and I kept telling him I’m on my period. I’m not gonna do anything . ..

So then, after like I don’t know 45 minutes maybe I could be over exaggerating that time of chilling in his room he gives me the strawberries and then after that I was like well this is awkward because I basically told him we’re not gonna get back together, so then I left … curfew

and then the next day we went to Nico‘s house or somebody’s house maybe it was Nick Cotton‘s house but we’re playing video games or maybe it was Arman‘s house it was one of your close friends or maybe I don’t know definitely not Marlon’s house, but y’all were playing video games and you were like texting me. I told you my phone stopped working so I had to text you over Facebook messages because I didn’t know how to get away from you Knigge you were being overly clingy and weird when I said, I wanted to be friends and I was done with you and I didn’t wanna be rude about it because you just moved 400 miles away from your parents. I know that’s a Shellshock beat seeing as your mom is like your your main your main supporter so here comes another female you just as much as your mom, but I can’t make it to your Berkeley games because I don’t have a car and leaves me a fucking asshole so I can’t. I can’t beat that anymore for you but you need that but then also you’re acting weird on the back and telling me I can’t hang out with motherfuckers when we get into an argument so I said deuce Knigge I don’t like a Knigge possessive over me because I’m not possessive over y’all over y’all.

🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️