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cammerel · 5 years ago

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Oct 23: Pumpkins

(this is a continued plot from day 1, Oct 20th, the bakery au but can be read without it)

Somehow, Tony managed to rope this gorgeous kid into carving pumpkins with Morgan and him.

What he /wasn’t/ expecting, was to be bombarded by the other Avengers on a day off. But things rarely ever go his way, least of all when he wants some very rare ‘me time’.

Peter’s eyes go comically wide when Thor himself strolls in and takes a seat at the counter.

“Ah, good,” he says, setting Mjolnir down on the counter, “Natasha /said/ you would be here, I am delighted to see that she was not mistaken. Have you got plans for All Hallows Eve, Man of Iron?”

“You mean tomorrow?” Tony glances up from where he’s helping Morgan, “Yeah? I’m taking my daughter trick-or-treating,” his brows narrow, “What-”

“Stark.”

Tony turns to the door as more of them come in, Clint and Dr. Banner, Rhodey, Cap, Bucky, and lastly Sam.

“Uncle Bruce!” Morgan shouts in glee, running around the counter to jump into his arms.

“We need your help.”

Tony stands up from his stool, smiling tightly at them all, “Thanks, but no thanks. I’m retired.”

“Tony,” Steve says, tone low and serious, “We can’t do it without you.”

Peter stares at all of them in wonder, but gravitates towards Tony as he moves from the counter.

“Nope, don’t ‘Tony’ me,” he says firmly, “You can’t butter up this old man. Last time I joined you on some stupid mission, I lost my left arm… temporarily. I almost lost my life. I’m way too old for this, and, you know… /I’m retired/. So no.”

Clint lifts his brows, “If I’m here, you’re going.”

“Except that I’m not,” Tony waves at him dismissively, “You wanna break a hip, you wanna embarrass yourself in front of the cool kids, that’s on you. But if I go out there and I don’t come back to my little girl, that’s on me. And I’m not doing that to her, so uh… leave, please? Unless /any/ of you are here to actually carve some pumpkins…”

“Or not…”

Tony glances around to Peter.

“Maybe you should go. They need you,” he says tentatively, “I can take Morgan trick-or-treating for you. If it’s just her not being able to go out that you’re worried about. Without Iron Man? I don’t like their odds.”

Tony smiles slowly and leans on the counter, “Yeah, what makes you think I’ve still got what it takes?”

Peter shrugs, “You haven’t been out of the game long,” he reasons, “You look better than ever, I think your comments about age might be an exaggeration.”

“Mm, words like that will get you /everywhere/ with me,” Tony says lowly, moving closer to Peter and resting a hand on his waist, “Where were you when I needed a cheerleader in my corner during Ultron?”

“In diapers, probably,” Clint says in disgust, looking away from them, “Why are you interested in a dinosaur?”

“I only look young because I was blipped,” Peter responds, smiling, “But yeah, I’m young. And you’re not wrong, I /am/ interested,” he says as he turns back to Tony, wetting his lips, “Very interested.”

Tony’s brows lift and Sam makes an ‘ooo, shit, kid’s got attitude’ comment that makes his smile grow wider, “You sure you won’t take it personally if I have to duck out now?”

Peter glances up towards the ceiling, considering it, “Only if don’t you come back and make it up to me.”

“Make it up? How?” Tony asks eagerly, picking his tea up off the counter and giving it a last stir, “Dinner? Movie? We could watch something scary. You could curl up against my side and hide your face when you get too spooked or grossed out.”

“That’s not a /bad/ idea. But I was actually thinking something more along the lines of…” Peter says slowly, then leans up on his toes to whisper in Tony’s ear.

Tony spits out some of his drink, coughing and spluttering and smacking his chest with his fist, “Jesus, kid, you’re going to kill me before I even head back onto the battlefield, then who’s gonna save these losers?”

Peter pulls back to smile up at him, “I also have like… one more condition.”

“Oh?”

“I wanna see you suit up.”

Tony clears his throat, “It’s not that slow. It’s not like stripping-”

“I know,” Peter shrugs, “I’ve watched compilations.”

“Tony, where did you /find/ this kid?” Rhodey asks curiously, somehow managing to sound both disgusted and intrigued.

Tony stares down at Peter, feeling ravenous for something that’ll have to wait, for an indeterminable amount of time, “It really doesn’t bother you that I have to go? Even though I’m retired? Even though it shouldn’t be my job? That doesn’t bother you?”

Peter chuckles, confused, “Why would it bother me? I know who you are.”

“Fair enough, but-”

“Do you /want/ it to bother me?”

Tony shakes his head hurriedly, “God no, I’ve been there. It’s exhausting. You’re not going to say-” he imitates his ex with his next lines, “‘I hate the suits, you should have shirts’ or… ‘There are better people, more qualified people’ or… ‘I can’t take this anymore, I never know if you’re gonna kill yourself or wreck the whole company’? Nothing like that?”

Peter blinks and then blushes, “I, yeah, no… definitely not. First of all, Mr. Stark,” a few of the Avengers chuckle, Sam actually /giggles/, “The suits are a part of you and they have been for a while. And you’re the /most/ qualified person. Also, I can take anything you can dish out, so, you know… try. You’re welcome to.”

Tony drags him in, kissing him and wrapping his arms around Peter, he pulls back just for a breath, “You sure?”

“Mhm,” Peter says and kisses him again.

He pulls back after a third and fourth, stepping away and tapping his chest twice to activate the bleeding edge armor, watching with delight as Peter’s eyes light up.

Tony leaves the helmet up as he turns to take Morgan from Bruce’s arms, “You okay with this too, kiddo?”

“Yes,” she says, smacking his chest, “Go be a superhero, Daddy.”

Tony brushes their noses together, “Well, I can’t say ‘no’ to the demands of Princess Morguna H. Stark, now, can I?”

She giggles and kisses his cheek, “Be careful.”

“Always.”

The room grows tense suddenly and Tony looks over from his daughter in the direction they’re all looking, stilling when he sees Peter at the counter, checking out Mjolnir in his hands.

Tony watches as he turns it this way and that way, looking at the design of the handle last.

“This thing is so awesome,” he says, impressed, and then he offers it over to Thor, “Cool hammer, I see why you use it all the time.”

Thor stares at him, eyes wide as he slowly takes it from Peter, “... Thank you… tiny one.”

Peter blushes when he realizes that everyone around them is staring at him, “Sorry, was I not supposed to touch it? Is touching it bad? Is it cursed?”

Rhodey turns to Tony, glaring, “You need to let this one go.”

“What?” Tony asks, looking at him and motioning to himself, “Me? I… what did I do? He’s the one that picked it up, I didn’t do-”

“He’s way too good for you, Tones, you’re just gonna hurt him,” Rhodey insists, “I would say that you don’t deserve him-”, (“Right,” Tony mutters.), “-but that’s a low blow and I’m sure you already know that, especially now.”

Sam adds a little insult to injury, “You gotta cut him loose before you clip his wings, man.”

“They’re not wrong,” Steve cuts in, brows drawn tight together.

Tony crosses his arms over his chest, nodding, trying not to feel so defensive, “Right,” he says again, frowning.

As focused on it as he is on trying not to lash out, he doesn’t miss Peter rolling his eyes, “I’d like to think I get a say in any and all of this,” Peter motions to them, “And I’m putting my foot down.”

Tony blinks in surprise, “Oh?”

Peter smiles at the others in the room, “Can all of you… please leave? Go wait in the car or something, I’d like to talk to /Mr. Stark/ alone.”

Bucky and Bruce chuckle, the rest of them slightly taken aback, but the Avengers themselves just… leave the house, without another question, not even a complaint. Maybe it has something to do with Peter literally lifting the unliftable, but, well…

Peter looks at Tony, walking around the counter and grabbing the bin of cookies and offering it to Morgan, “How about you show the team your awesome new bat cookies, I bet they’d like to try some.”

Morgan turns to him with hopeful eyes, “Can I?”

“Yeah, go ahead, slugger,” Tony winks at her, “Bruce’s favorite is vanilla.”

He waits until she’s out the door to turn to Peter, “I’m so sorry about all of this, honestly, kid. You don’t have to deal with any of it, they’re kind of right, you-”

Peter presses their lips together, kissing him hard and fast, one hand tugging his armor and him down by the collar, the other cupping his face in his helmet.

Tony moans, wrapping his arm around Peter and pulling him close, recovering from the brief, disarming kiss as he parts his lips and brushes his tongue over Peter’s, then pulls his bottom lip between his teeth. They’ve only really been at this for a few days, but Tony can already feel it settling in.

Peter kisses him a few more times, dropping his hands to Tony’s chest and staring up at him, “Your friends are jerks, don’t listen to them.”

“Yeah, I know,” Tony shrugs and winks.

“I mean it,” Peter says firmly, “I’m not ‘too good for you’, you’re too good for me. But do I care? No. I came today because I wanna be here. Fuck anyone who thinks either one of us is too good or deserves better.”

Tony hums lowly, “You really /are/ too good for me.”

Peter rolls his eyes, “Dinner, movie, and everything I said before?”

“Yes.”

“Maybe a little something-something with the suit on,” Peter suggests, running his hands down the metal plates of his ribcage.

Tony shifts only slightly, but God what he’d do to this kid if he had the time, “Yes, okay. If… that’s what you want.”

Honestly? The suit was always kind of his kink, never really Pepper’s. She didn’t even like kissing him while he was in it.

The thought of exploring such a thing at long last seems like a pipe dream he let go of back when he was young and spry enough to think of the /really/ creative things they could get up to with it. An almost forgotten desire that rises back up suddenly.

“Finish my pumpkin for me,” Tony kisses Peter’s lips and then his forehead, “I gotta go save the world… again.”

Peter grins, “Do it, and… you know, come back.”

“Promise.”

“I’ll hold you to it.”

“Please do.”

Enjoy? You can buy me a ko-fi or join my Patreon for lots more Starker stuff early and some exclusives, live writing etc…

#spookystarker2019 #Starker #Starker Fic #Tony x Peter #Peter x Tony #mine #my: Fics #posted

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randomingoftherandomness · 6 years ago

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endgame post

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS BENEATH THIS CUT

[Update] I made a Youtube review (still spoilery though). If you wanna support what I do, please consider buying me Ko-Fi

Firstly, there’s no after credits so don’t bother waiting around for that. Three hours is a long time to be holding your pee. Second, bring tissues. I was crying from the moment the title sequence rolled.

The main thing you need to know is that there was time travel courtesy of Scott Lang and the Pym particles in this film and a tonne of pop culture references in terms of time-travelling and it was all

The gist of the Time Heist was that they were gonna go back into time and get the Infinity Stones before Thanos could get to it and they figured out that if they hit the right year, there were already three stones on Earth (Mind, Space & Time). So our heroes split up into three teams to Pokemon Gotta Catch’em all.

Now, we’ll start with my favourite, the love of my life, Tony Stark. My man. We got them right that Carol Danvers definitely brought Nebula and Tony’s space ship back to Earth. There is a five year time jump in this film that saw Tony and Pepper get married (which regardless of how you may swing on Pepperony, YAY!) and have a child together, Morgan H. Stark who, let me tell you, I would die for because she is the perfect copy of Tony and I would not be surprised if one day they did a Young Avengers roster and she is there. Tony Stark having a child of his own and it is glooooriuuusss.

Steve Rogers got rid of the beard, and honestly I missed it ngl.

Let me just say that I adore, adore, adore them for not letting the Stony reunion be just a push by. They let it breathe and matter and it was every angsty Post-Civil War fanfic brought to life. They allowed Tony to lay it into Cap that this was what happened when you didn’t listen to me when I told you I saw this coming. There was a reference to the suit of armour statement from Age of Ultron and Tony laid it into Steve that look at what we lost because you tore us apart and it hurt so good my friends, so good. But over the course of the movie you could see them slowly relearn to trust and depend and be a team again and it was great. When they said that Endgame was a Stony event, they meant it. I live for this. I love it.

Thor got a beer belly and it’s as if the writers underestimate the powers of our thirst for this man. I would still ride him like no one’s business. He’s let himself go, feeling the survivors guilt weigh on him because he aimed for the head and not the arm. The Valkyrie survived Thanos’ raid on the Asgardian refugee ship and New Asgard is formed, probably, where Odin told Thor to remember the view. Thor, Korg and Miek are running a roommate situation where the Wifi is free, and Thor fights back Online trolls.

I think we all knew going in that Clint Barton was gonna be the Ronin and they certainly didn’t disappoint. They gave us a bit of Hiroyuki Sanada’s character fighting with Clint and that was great. But it honestly made me want to say SO dark you sure you’re not the DC Universe?

Natasha has always been a character I was always a bit miffed with the writing about. There have been many complaints about the inconsistencies of her characterisation and those weren’t unwarranted. That being said, I am at peace with where they took her in this movie.

Hulk and Bruce Banner managed to find some zen where Banner’s consciousness could exist at the same time as Hulk’s body.

I’m so happy about the way they treated Nebula as a character and you could tell that Karen Gillan was given a lot of room to stretch out and breathe here. As one of the effects of travelling into a timeline which had her past self, Future!Nebula shared the same network with Past!Nebula which allowed Thanos to access her memories and to be aware of what the Avengers were planning to do. Which, Oh No.

So what happened: The heroes split up through time and space to get the stones. Steve, Tony, Scott and Bruce all go back to 2012 during the Battle of New York, where Bruce goes to convince Tilda Swinton’s Sorcerer Supreme to give him the Time Stone, Steve goes and intercepts the Mind gem (still in Loki’s glow stick of destiny) by convincing Sitwell and Rumlow that he was all Hail Hydra, which gave me all kinds of Hydra!Cap feels, Tony and Scott get to go for the Tesseract. Shit happens, Bruce succeeds by telling the Sorcerer Supreme that Strange gave it willingly to Thanos which clues her in that there might be more to it, and Steve battles himself for the glow stick of destiny

Also, there is much mention and appreciation of Steve’s ass. America’s Ass. Yes, indeed. That is a nice derriere. Premium grade American Ass right there 🍑💦

(I’ve been waiting hours to use this gif :>>>)

Tony and Scott screwed the pooch and they lose the Tesseract while Loki, who sees an opportunity, snatches and bails. So I guess that’s how they get to slip into the planned Loki series for Disney+. Tony and Steve then jump back to the 1970s where they can get more Pym particles, for more jumps and where the Tesseract will be both at the same place, the secret bunker facility we saw in Cap2. Steve chances upon Peggy’s office there and spends some time looking at her from the shadows, while Tony bumps into his dad who is freaking out about Tony’s impending birth. He manages to give his dad some advice on becoming a dad, and they gave us a nice closure for Tony who hugs and thanks his dad for everything he has done.

Rhodey and Nebula go to Morag to intercept Peter Quill right before he gets the orb with the Power Stone. They both succeed but right before they can jump back, Nebula is paralysed by Ebony Maw hacking into her memories and she figures out that Thanos knows the plan. Rhodey jumps back, but she doesn’t and is captured by Thanos, Past!Nebula and Gamora.

Clint and Natasha travel to Vormir and is soon acting like self-sacrificial idiots who battle it out to throw themselves for the Soul stone. Clint manages to clear the ledge, but Natasha is the one who pulls a switcheroo and tells Clint to “Let me go” which :<<<<<< So she dies and Clint gets the stone.

Thor and Rocket go to Asgard circa Thor The Dark World to get the Reality gem. Soon, Thor bumps into Frigga who immediately tells him that she knows he isn’t her son and that the future must’ve not been kind to him. She gives him some words of comfort and wisdom and tells him, despite his insistence that she knows what is going to happen to her, she doesn’t want to know, and honestly this movie gave Frigga the character fleshing out in five minutes what two movies couldn’t and I fucking love it. They are also successful and right before they leave, Thor calls for Mj��lnir, and is pleased to know that he is still worthy when she answers.

Our heroes all come back, plus Nebula but they all soon realise that Nat isn’t coming back. They waste no time with assembling the stones with Tony’s nanotech gauntlet (I was kinda bummed we didn’t get to see more giant Peter Dinklage but I guess season 8 of Game of Thrones was a big thing huh) and Hulk-Banner takes it upon himself to do the snapping because he is the strongest avenger and it damn near kills him (remember this).

It works, but before our heroes can enjoy the sweet taste of success, we figure out that Nebula ain’t our Nebula and is Past!Nebula who has impersonated our Nebula to open up a portal for Thanos to arrive in. Thanos decimates the Avengers facility and we enter the final battle.

Thor, Steve and Tony are the only ones not currently trapped under rubble and they all try to hold Thanos off from Clint who has the gauntlet and the stones.

Thor becomes pinned down under Thanos who is trying to stab him with Stormbreaker when Steve picks up Mjölnir and knocks him a new one and we get Thor saying “I knew it!” and let me just say that by this point I was screaming. Really. This was a comic book payoff and I love it. #SteveIsWorthy

This battle bit made me so anxious, like, holy shit I was worried for the safety of all involved. Then we see that Steve is the only left standing against the legion of Thanos, but wait! We see the Strange’s magic circle portals and it shows the arrival of all the other heroes who were snapped. So we have Black Panther coming in with the Wakandans and Bucky and Sam who goes “On your left” to Steve, the heroes on Thanos’ home planet (PETERRRR) and also, Pepper in her own armour!

We get, fucking finally after all this time, to hear Cap say “Avengers Assemble!”

The ensuing melee sees them all try to get the gauntlet to Scott and Hope who are standing by the Pym van to try and get the stones back in time where Thanos can’t get them, and we get to see Peter finally get his hug from Tony and ngl I was crying.

All through it all our Nebula convinces Gamora that she’s changed, and that they have to stop Thanos, and our Nebula kills Past!Nebula when she tries to kill Gamora.

It becomes a whole monkey in the middle situation with everyone passing the gauntlet off to another teammate and we see Peter activate Instant Kill, which is awesome, and then just when shit was about to get worse, get Carol coming in to get the gauntlet coz she’s the star quarterback here (i honestly feel like she was only here for the beginning and end so if you’re only watching this for her, i’m sorry?) and Peter asks her how's she going to get through all of that, all the women Avengers come up and Okoye says, “Don’t worry, she’ll have help” which just, ❤️

When Stephen Strange came back into the fray, Tony had asked him whether this is the one time they succeed and he says that he can’t say it because then it becomes real. So, when it seems like Thanos was going to get another shot at the snap, he makes eye contact with Tony and lifts up a ☝🏼which.

Tony makes a roll for the gauntlet, but Thanos pushes him back, tries to snap but. Nothing happens. We turn, and see that Tony has the stones melding with his gauntlet, and as he prepares to snap his fingers, looks Thanos in the eyes and says “I am Iron Man”

Tony lays dying on the battlefield as Thanos and his legion are dust in the wind. Rhodey, Pep and Peter all say goodbye and are with him to the end and fuck y’all I thought I did my crying in the cinema but as I’m remembering this scene I’m tearing up again holy shit.

We get a funeral where Pepper and Morgan lay a wreath on a lake which had the Proof That Tony Stark Has A Heart reactor from IM1 laid on it. The funeral is a who’s who of the MCU and we get Harley Keener back, which is, yay, but also :< Happy asks Morgan what she wants to eat and she says cheeseburger. Which. Fuck. Tears Happy up as he promises to get her all the cheeseburgers she wants. And ensures that I won’t be touching a cheeseburger within the next year. So many callbacks to IM1 which was the movie that started it all and I can’t even.

Clint goes back to his family, looking like he’s hanging up the bow for good this time, and Thor hands over Kingship of New Asgard to Valkyrie and boards the Guardian’s ship for a future instalment of GOTG.

Steve is charged with being the one to get the stones back into their own timelines. Right before he goes, we get a callback to Cap1 with “Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone” “How can I? You’re bringing all the stupid with you”, they prepare to pull him back but he misses the jump point. Sam, Bucky and Hulk-Banner panic for a moment before Bucky spots a man in the distance. They approach, and Bucky tells Sam to go talk to him, and we now see that it’s an aged Steve Rogers who had decided to stay back in time and is very much at peace and happy with it, Sam tells Steve that he doesn’t know how to live in a world without Captain America, when Steve hands over the shield to Sam and tells him that he’s it now. Now I cannot wait for the Falcon and Winter Soldier series.

The final scene in this movie was of Steve and Peggy dancing in their living room in what looks like the 1940s. Honestly, if I hadn’t already gone through a pack of tissues, I would’ve started then.

Cameos (at least the ones I picked out): Ken Jeong as a security guard in the San Fran warehouse where the Antman van was parked, Yvette Nicole Brown at Camp Lehigh, James D’Arcy as Jarvis (Which I was super stoked by because JARVISSSS), Joe Russo in a therapy circle with Steve (also made me real happy coz they kept a gender drop uncensored in my screening), and finally who could forget Stan Lee’s cameo all bedecked out in ‘70s flower power.

This movie was a lovely bowtie on 22 movies and 10 years of the MCU. Was it everything I wanted? No. It was more. Am I happy with what I got? No, I do wish some things ended differently but I knew they were coming. Nothing good lasts, and everything had to come to an end some time. I’m still unpacking my emotions tbh. The credits had all the OG6 signing their names, and the fact of the matter is, I have been so very changed by the MCU. The past 10 years have been amazing and I’ve been proud, and always will be proud to call myself a Marvel fan.

I honestly don’t know where they’ll be taking the MCU as a whole from this point onwards because it seems like there will be ripple effects from the actions of this film will be felt for at least the next ten years. Far From Home is the next MCU movie and I’m sure they’ll be dealing with the direct effects of this film so I’ll be looking forward to that. I’m elated, I am heartbroken, I am a glass case of emotions.

#gab watches stuff #avengers endgame #endgame #marvel #mcu #tony stark #steve rogers #natasha romanoff #clint barton #bruce banner #thor odinson #iron man #captain america #black widow #hawkeye #hulk #thor #endgame spoilers #avengers endgame spoilers

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momentofroggie · 5 years ago

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Spike To The Heart CH 3

You can read it here on AO3

WC: 2.6K

“Peter, get up you’re gonna be late again kid. Jesus Christ,” Aunt May groans, snatching the sheets covering Peter. Peter shivers from the sudden coldness from the absence of his sheets. He put his arms up and stretches like a cat waking up from bathing in the sun, his ribs slightly poking out from underneath his muscle. He sits up and rubs his eyes, soon seating dark specks and bright stars sprinkle throughout his room. He blinks a few times and gets up, trying to prepare himself for the day. Today is the day they find out what team they’ll make. It’ll be in the same place it was last year; the bulletin board in the athletic office. Peter grins to himself, despite feeling a little anxious.

Peter throws on an oversized NASA sweatshirt and black jeans. The sweatshirt drapes off of his stick figure like a dress, sliding off his right shoulder to expose his collarbone. His jeans hang off his hips but leave no imagination to his perky ass. He coyly models to himself in his full length mirror, fluffing his bedhead to make it look daintily perfect. He shines himself a shy smile before grabbing his book bag and slipping out of his room. He absentmindedly grabs a banana from the fruit bowl on the kitchen counter and kisses his Aunt May goodbye.

“Have a good day, Pete.” Aunt May sweetly says. She grabs Pete’s cheek between her thumb and forefinger and gives it a good squeeze. Peter giggles and swats her hand away.

“I will, I promise. Love you!” Peter calls out as he closes the door behind him. He skyrockets down the stairs and out the door. The morning sun rising cascades a beautiful orange sky, rays of sun peeking out from behind brick and steel skyscrapers. With a turn of his heel, Peter begins his everyday journey to school. A couple blocks in, he peels his banana and gently starts to munch on it. Peter usually pays no attention to the vehicles passing by him. However, Peter hears a familiar rev of an engine.

Oh no.

The loud blare of a horn echos throughout the block as the car pulls up closer to Peter, essentially slowing down traffic. Cars start to pass this vehicle, the people inside them annoyed with the awful driver. The window rolls down to reveal Flash. Peter muffles a gasp and stares into Flash’s dark eyes.

“Enjoying that banana, faggot?” Flash barks before laughing. Peter shutters at the word. Faggot. Peter is gay, yes, but hasn’t come out to the entire school. Only his Aunt May and his close friends know. Does Flash know? He prays to God he doesn’t. Peter gives a shy thumbs up and loses his appetite. He continues to walk, hoping Flash will leave him alone. Flash revs his engine again, making it roar so loud that the birds on the telephone wires clear out.

“What’s wrong, Parker? Scared?” Peter shakes his head and looks down, picking up the pace of his gait. He pretends that none of this is happening, that Flash isn’t harassing him from his shitty hand me down truck. Flash scoffs and rolls his eyes. He grabs something from the passenger seat and throws it through the window at Peter. A crumpled up piece of wrapper from McDonalds. How classy. Peter feels tears start to swell in his eyes. The pure humiliation of all of this is enough to make him cower over in embarrassment. Flash begins to laugh again before a loud horn blares, deafening to both Peter and the bully. Peter looks up, realizing it wasn’t Flash. A Range Rover is impatiently waiting behind Flash’s truck. Peter glances through the windshield and realizes who it is.

It’s Mr. Stark. He sees him tapping on the steering wheel. He has big rectangular glasses on, accenting his eyebrows and their expressions. Flash looks behind him and gasps out of surprise. He rolls up his window and speeds off, leaving Peter there flabbergasted. Mr. Stark pulls up and rolls his window down.

“Are you ok? Was he harassing you?” He rumbles. Peter, still in shock, just shakes his head. It’s easier to say no.

“No he just, likes to pick his fun I guess.” Peter mumbles, looking down at the gravel beneath him. Mr. Stark nods and examines the boy. He never realized how small he was until this moment. His tiny feet, his thin but muscular legs, his collarbone sticking out from beneath his sweatshirt, his tiny lady-like hands.

“I would give you a ride, but that’s against school policy.” Peter looks up in surprise. He and his coach make eye contact, eyes locking to one another. Peter flutters his eyelashes and nods, wiping his nose.

“I understand sir, there’s only a couple blocks left anyways.” Peter sighs, hiking up his book bag on his shoulder, which was slowing slipping. “I’ll catch you around, Mr. Stark.”

And with that, Peter lightly jogs to school out of sheer embarrassment to get away from it all. Nothing could save him from the humiliation Flash seems to give him so well.

___

As soon as Peter steps foot into the school, the late bell is ringing. He practically sprints to his class and clumsily sits down, trying not to drag anymore attention than he already has today. He stays silent throughout his classes. MJ didn’t seem to mind, even finding it amusing at parts, but the rest of his friends were concerned. Peter is so caught up in his own swell of humiliation, he forgets to check which team he made. He realizes this when he gets to his chatty cafeteria table.

“Jesus fuck, what’s with all the ruckus?” Peter giggles, sitting down between Steve and Wade. Wade gives him a confused look, throwing his hands up in the air causing a startled Peter. He looks around and everyone can see the look of realization wash over his face. “Oh my God, th-the teams. What teams did you guys make? What team did I make?”

Steve chuckles at the enthusiastic yet anxious Peter. He sets his hand on his shoulder and with the other pulls out his phone. He hands it to Peter to look at.

“Take a look who’s at the top of the list, Parker.” Steve whispers. There Peter’s name was, in a bold and boisterous black. Peter reads the list over and over again, his eyes lighting up with excitement.

“So wait, this year’s varsity team is me, Bucky, Steve, Loki, Wade, Sam, Scott, Quill, T’Challa, M’Baku, and Clint?” Peter scoffs and the goofiest grin spreads across his baby face. “That’s such an awesome team! We’re gonna kick ass boys!”

The rest of the boys cheer, causing people in the lunch room to annoyingly stare, but no one cares in that moment. Especially Peter. This is his group, his tribe. Peter knew deep in his soul this where he belongs. For high school at least. Their celebration is comically interrupted by Thor thumping down and eating his lunch. Everyone turns to look at him. Thor has the goofiest grin spread across his face, a rare sight to see.

“I’m quarterback, baby.”

Quickly, all the boys pat him on the shoulder and give him noogies. Thor can’t help but feel a flush grow on his face and neck from all the attention. The boys sit down and happily chat about whatever blurts out their mouths. They talk about the football games and how they’ll go every Friday night. They talk about making signs for Thor, writing his name in glitter glue or LED lights. Bucky looks down at his phone and bursts out in laughter. He turns up the brightness and shows it for the whole table to see.

“Flash only made JV.” Bucky gleams. Loki rolls his eyes and Wade fist pumps toward his side. Peter feels a new breath of relief wash over him. He honest to God didn’t wanna deal with Flash constantly bashing him at games, especially after what happened this morning.

“Flash harassed me this morning.” Peter blurts out without thinking. The table goes silent and all the boys look at him dumbfounded.

“What do you mean harassed? Doesn’t he already do that?” Wade utters, raising an eyebrow. Peter feels himself flush, bringing him back to what happened this morning. The belittling, the humiliation, Mr. Stark.

“I was walking to school and he like, stalked me I guess? He was in his car and he was revving his engine and honking his horn and throwing trash at me, but suddenly Coach Stark pulled up behind him and kind of stopped him and yeah.” Peter looks down shyly, poking at his now cold food. He could feel everyone’s eyes burning into his teary own. Thinking about it already makes him want to disappear, but talking about it was much worse.

“Flash seriously did that shit?” Wade gasps, his skin paling lighter at the thought of that happening to Peter. Peter nods, unable to find the courage to look up at his friends. The boys spit nasty comments about Flash, calling him an attention whore among other things. They also praise Peter for being brave and getting through this. Steve brings up how their coach practically saved the day and all the boys seem to agree. Peter fiddles with his fingers, barely listening to what anyone says.

“Where is he?” Thor growls. Peter’s interest peaks and looks up to see Thor with dark eyes and a red complexion. “Where is Flash?”

“I don’t know, class? He doesn’t have lunch this period.” Loki snickers, earning a stern look from his brother.

“I’m going to kill him.” Thor stands up, leaving his lunch behind. The boys look around at each other, either confused or terrified. Loki is the first to follow after his brother and the rest follow behind. Peter catches up to Thor, who is peering in every classroom window.

“Thor, you don’t have to do this. You shouldn’t have to do this.” Peter stammers, desperately trying to get Thor to stop. He knows this is gonna end badly. Thor is twice Flash’s size and is three times stronger than him. Peter doesn’t care about Flash, but he cares about the janitor cleaning up Flash’s blood afterwards. Thor blatantly ignores him.

“Thor, you could get kicked off the football team.” Steve adds, now on the other side of the giant man. Thor picks up the pace of his steps, causing Peter to practically run after him. Peter catches up and stops himself in front of Thor.

“Thor, listen to me. Stop, this isn’t worth it.” Peter squeaks. Thor stops in his tracks, looking down at the milky skinned boy. Peter looks back up at him. “He didn’t hurt me. Don’t hurt him.”

“You’re too kind, Peter. Now let me beat the ever-living shit out of him.” Thor chuckles, his iris’s searing into Peter’s doe eyes. Peter looks down and shakily takes Thor by the hand.

“When he hurts me, you can do that. For now, don’t. Please, Thor, I can stand up for myself.” Peter whimpers, his small thumb rubbing over Thor’s hand. Thor gulps and squeezes the small boy’s palm. He sighs and rolls his eyes, trying too hard not to care about Peter and how earth-shattering adorable he was.

“Whatever.” Thor grumbles. With a turn of his heel, he was on his way to his next class. Peter takes a look at his hand, red and sweaty from the squeeze. He looks to Steve, who has a sad smile on his face. Loki approaches Peter and puts a hand on his shoulder.

“I don’t know what kind of fucking superpowers you have, but even I couldn’t have stopped my brother like that.”

___

Practice is gruesome. Every time Peter glances over to Flash, he is always looking back, either with a sneer or a smirk. However, Steve and Bucky were always there to return the favor to Flash, making him coil and go back to the little posse he made with the JV team. Peter shakes his head, trying to get this morning out of his thoughts, but it’s impossible. He could care less about Flash, he just cannot wrap his head around Coach Stark. His impressive looking car, his aviators glimmering in the sunrise rays, the smirk he delivered to little ol’ Peter before he drove off. It’s all Peter can think about.

“Peter, look out!” Steve calls out. Peter looks up and before he can hit it right back, he gets a volleyball to the face. He falls backwards onto his bony spine, looking up to the gym ceiling. It’s spinning and spiraling, dark spots floating above him. Steve, Bucky, Scott, and Sam all huddle around him. Scott is waving his hand in front of him like some sort of moron, trying to awaken him from an ancient spell. Bucky is rubbing his shoulder in a way to signify some sort of comfort.

“Sit up, Parker. You alright?” Sam mutters, helping Peter up. Peter rubs his head and feels an egg sized bump. Peter scoffs and pulls his knees up to his chest.

“Today fucking sucks, man.” Peter murmurs. Peter makes contact with Wade, who’s ducking under the net and sprinting towards Peter. He kneels down and puts his hand over the bump on his forehead.

“Are you ok, Peter? I’m really sorry, I should’ve called out before I served. You kinda were in La-La Land.” Wade chuckles. Their faces are so close together that Peter and smells his breath. It’s minty, like spearmint gum, but he isn’t chewing any gum. Wade and Peter’s eyes meet. Wade can see the stars in Peter’s doe eyes. He feels a flutter in his chest. What is this feeling?

“Everything ok, Parker? Wilson?” A baritone voice grumbles from behind him. Peter and Wade both look up to see Coach Stark with a toothpick in his mouth, eyebrow raised looking at both of them. Wade moves away and nods. Peter blinks slowly and stands up, dusting himself off.

“I’m fine, coach. Just a little bump, ‘ts all.” Peter blushed, rubbing the bump on his forehead. It’s swollen and hot to the touch. Soon, Peter’s hand is replaced by Coach Stark, feeling and slightly squeezing the bump. Peter winces at the pain, despite slightly enjoying it. Stark’s rough and calloused hands graze his skin. Peter is praying that the blood doesn’t rush to down below and sighs a sigh of relief when his coach removes his hand.

“Sit out for the rest of practice, Peter. I don’t want a risk of another injury. Barnes, go fetch him some ice please.” Coach Stark barks, taking out his clipboard from underneath his arm and writes something down. “I want you all rested up for the game next Monday.”

Stark tucks the clipboard underneath his arm once more and tuck the pen in his ear before walking away. Bucky grabs Peter’s hand and makes their way to the gym doors. Flash and the JV team are practicing near there and Peter tries to avoid all contact with them.

“Nice pimple, Penis Parker.” Flash shouts, gaining laughs from the little squad he has created. Bucky growls at them, causing them to turn around and continue to pass the ball out of fear.

“Peter, promise me something.” Bucky says in a surprisingly sweet voice, gaining Peter’s attention.

“And what would that be?” Peter replies. Bucky looks at Peter and Peter looks at Bucky. He smiles and squeezes the frail boy’s hand.

“Never take shit from a junior who’s on JV.”

@winter-starker @imgonnadiebutohwell @whisperingstarkers@plueschpop @ironspiderkid @darker-soft-starker @tonyhstarks @starker-rays @cipherstarker

#starker #ironspider #my work #tony x peter #peter x tony

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scifrey · 5 years ago

Video

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In February of 2017 I had the great pleasure of addressing the Grant MacEwan University English Department with a keynote speech titled “Your Voice is Valid.”

This speech was all about Mary Sues, fandom, and marginalized voices, and is a direct response to the negative reactions that media texts receive when they announce a protagonist that is deemed to be a "Mary Sue".

In the intervening years I think the message of my talk has become even more vital to creators, so I thought I’d record a new video of the speech to share with a wider audience.

If you liked this video, you can find more of my writing advice on my website.

Read the full speech on Wattpad, or below:

(Text may not match the video exactly as I did alter some of the phrasing.)

My friends, I have a declaration to make. A promise. A vow, if you will. And it is this:

If I hear one more basement-dwelling troll call the lead female protagonist of a genre film a ‘Mary Sue’ one more time, I’m going to scream.

I’m sure you’ve all seen this all before. A major science fiction, fantasy, video game, novel, or comic franchise or publisher announces a new title. Said new title features a lead protagonist who is female, or a person of color, or is not able-bodied, or is non-neurotypical, or is LGBTQA+.

It might be the new Iron Man or Spider-man, who are both young black teenagers in the comics now, or the Lt. Michael Burnham of Star Trek: Discovery, or the new Ms. Marvel, a Muslim girl. It could be Jyn Erso, the female lead of the latest Star Wars film or Chirrut, her blind companion. It could be the deaf FBI Director Gordon Cole from Twin Peaks or Clint Barton from Fraction and Aja’s Hawkeye graphic novel series. It could be Sara, of Dragon Age fame or Samantha Traynor from Mass Effect, both lesbians, or Dorian also from Dragon Age, who is both a person of color and flamboyantly queer. Maybe it’s Lt. Stamets and Dr. Hugh Culber, played by Anthony Rapp of (best known for his time as Mark in Rent) and Wilson Cruz, both open out gay men playing openly out gay men in a romantic relationship in Star Trek Discovery. It could be Captain Christopher Pike, from both the original Star Trek series and the reboot film, who uses a wheelchair and assistive devices to communicate. Or maybe it’s Bucky Barnes, aka the Winter Soldier, fights with a prosthetic arm in the comics, or Iron Man, whose suit serves as Tony Stark’s ego-tastic pacemaker.

And generally, the audience cheers at this announcement. Yay for diversity! Yay for representation! Yay for working to make the worlds we consume look more like the world we live in! Yay!

But there’s a certain segment of the fan population that does not celebrate.

I’m sure you all know what I’m talking about.

This certain brand of fan-person gets all up in arms on social media. They whine. They complain. They say that it’s not appropriate to change the gender, race, orientation, or physical abilities of a fictional creation, or just protest their inclusion to begin with. They decry the erosion of creativity in service of neo-liberalism, overreaching political-correctness, and femi-nazis. (Sorry, sorry – the femi-“alt-right”).

It’s not realistic. “Women can’t survive in space,” they say, “It’s just a fact.” (That is a direct quote, by the way.) “Superheroes can’t be black,” they say. “Video game characters shouldn’t have a sexual orientation,” unless – it seems - that sexual orientation is straight and the game serves to support a male gaze ogling at half-dressed pixilated prostitutes.

“And strong female characters have to wear boob armor. It’s just natural,” they say.

These fan persons predict the end of civilization because things are no longer being done the way they’ve always been done. “There’s nothing wrong with the system,” they say. “So don’t you dare change it.”

And to enforce this opinion, to ensure that it’s really, really clear just how much contempt this certain segment of the fan population holds for any lead protagonist that isn’t a white, heterosexual, able-bodied, neurotypical, cismale, they do everything they can to tear down them down.

They do this by calling that character a ‘Mary Sue.’

When fan fiction author Paula Smith first used the term ‘Mary Sue’ in her 1973 story A Trekkie’s Tale, she was making a commentary on the frequent appearance of original characters in Star Trek fan fiction. Now, I’m going to hazard that most of these characters existed as a masturbatory avatar – wanna bone Spock? (And, um, you know, let’s face it who didn’t?) They you write a story where a character representing you gets to bone Spock.

And if they weren’t a sexual fantasy, then they were an adventure fantasy. Wanna be an officer on the Enterprise? Well, it’s the flagship of the Starfleet, so you better be good enough to get there. Chekov was the youngest navigator in Starfleet history, Uhura is the most tonally sensitive officer in linguistics, and Jim Kirk’s genius burned like a magnesium flare – your self-representative character would have to keep up to earn thier place on that bridge. This led to a slew of hyper sexualized, physically idealized, and unrealistically competent author-based characters populating the fan fiction of the time.

But inserting a trumped-up version of yourself into a narrative wasn’t invented in the 1970s. Aeneas was totally Virgil’s Mary Sue in his Iliad knock off. Dante was such a fanboy of the The Bible that he wrote himself into an adventure exploring it. Robin Hood’s merry men and King Arthur’s Knights of the Round Table kept growing in number and characteristics with each retelling. Even painters have inserted themselves into commissioned pictures for centuries.

This isn’t new. This is not a recent human impulse.

But what Paula Smith and the Mary Sue-writing fan ficcers didn’t know at the time was that they were crystallizing what it means to be an engaged consumer of media texts, instead of just a passive one. They had isolated and labelled what it means to be so affected by a story, to love it so much that this same love bubbles up out of you and you have to do something about it, either in play, or in art. For example: in pretending to be a ninja turtle on the play ground, or in trying to recreate the perfect version of a star fleet uniform to wear, or in creating art and making comics depicting your favorite moments or further adventures of the characters you love, or writing stories that encompass missing moments from the narratives.

‘Mary Sues’ are, at their center, a celebration of putting oneself and one’s own heart, and one’s own enjoyment of a media text, first.

Before I talk about why this certain segment of the fan population deploys the term ‘Mary Sue’ the way it does, let’s take a closer look at this impulse for participatory play.

Here’s the sixty four thousand dollar question: where do ‘Mary Sues’ come from?

I’d like you take a moment to think back at the sorts of games you enjoyed when you were about seven years old. Think back. Picture yourself outside, playing with your siblings, or the neighbour’s kids or you cousins. What are you doing? Playing ball games, chase games, and probably something with a narrative? Are you Power Rangers? Are you flying to Neverland with Peter Pan? Are you fighting Dementors and Death Eaters at Hogwarts? Are you the newest members of One Direction, are you Jem and the Holograms or the Misfits? Are you running around collecting Pokémon back before running around and collecting Pokémon IRL was a thing?

That, guys, gals and non-binary pals, is where Mary Sues come from. That’s it. It’s as easy as that.

As a child you didn’t know that modern literary tradition pooh-poohs self-analogous characters, or that realism was required for depth of character. All you knew was that you wanted to be a part of that story, right.  If you wanted to be a train with Thomas and Friends, then you were a train. If you wanted to be a magic pony from Equestria, you were a pony. Or, you know, if you were trying to appease two friends at once, then you were a pony-train.

Self-insert in childhood games teach kids the concept of elastic play, and this essential ability to imagine oneself in skins that are not one’s own, and to stretch and reshape narratives is what breeds creativity and storytelling. It shapes compassion.

Now, think of your early stories. As a child we all told and wrote stories about doing what, to us, were mundane everyday things - like getting ice cream with the fictional characters we know and love.

My friend’s three year old tells his father bed time stories about going on walks through Home Hardware with his friends, the anthropomorphized versions of the local taco food truck and the commuter train his dad takes to work every morning. He doesn’t recognize the difference between real and fictional people (or for him, in this case, the stand-ins that are the figures that loom large in his life right now as a three year old obsessed with massive machines). When you ask him to tell you a story, he talks about these fictions as if they’re real. And he does not hesitate to insert himself into the tale. “I did this. I did that. We went there and then had this for lunch.” He is present in all his own stories because, at this age, he understands the world only from his limited personal POV.

As we grow up, we do learn to differentiate between fantasy and reality. But, I posit that we never truly loose that “me too!” mentality. We see something amazing happening on the screen, or on the page, or on a playing field, and we want to be there, a part of it.

So we sort ourselves into Hogwarts Houses. We choose hockey teams to love, and we wear their jerseys.  We buy ball caps from our favorite breweries. We line up for hours to be the first to watch a new release or to buy a certain smartphone. We collect stamps and baseball cards and first editions of Jane Austen and Dan Brown. We want to be a part of it. Our capitalist, consumer society tells us to prove our love with our dollars, and we do it.

And for fan creators, we want to be a part of it so badly that we’re willing to make more of it. Not for profit, but for sheer love. And for the early writers, the newbies, the blossoming beginners, Mary Sues are where they generally start. Because those are the sorts of stories they’ve been telling yourselves for years already.

But as we get older, as we consume more media texts and find more things to adore, we begin to notice a dearth of representation – you’re not pony trains in our minds any more. We have a better idea of what we look like. And we don’t see it. The glorious fantasy diversity of our childhoods is stripped away, narratives are codified by the mainstream media texts we consume, and people stop looking like us.

I’m reminded of a story I read on Tumblr, of a young black author living in Africa – whose name, I’m afraid, I wasn’t able to find when I went back to look for it, so my apologies to her. The story is about the first time she tried to write a fairytale in elementary school. She made her protagonist a little white girl, and when she was asked why she hadn’t chosen to make the protagonist back, this author realized that it hadn’t even occurred to her that she was allowed make her lead black. Even though she was surrounded by people of color, the adventures, and romance, and magic in everything she consumed only happened to the white folks. She did not know she was allowed to make people like her the heroes because she had never seen it.

This is not natural. This is nurture, not nature. This is learned behavior. And this is hegemony.

No child grows up believing they don’t have place in the story. This is something were are taught. And this is something that we are taught by the media texts we consume.

I do want to pause and make a point here. There isn’t anything fundamentally wrong with writing a narrative from the heterosexual, able bodied, neurotypical, white cismale POV in and of itself. I think we all have stories that we know and love that feature that particular flavor of protagonist. And people from that community deserve to tell their stories as much as folks from any other community.

The problem comes from a reality where when it’s the only narrative. The default narrative. The factory setting. When people who don’t see themselves reflected in the narrative nonetheless feel obligated to write such stories, instead of their own. When they are told and taught that it is the only story worth telling. ‎

There’s this really great essay by Ika Willis, and it’s called “. And I think it’s the one – one of the most important pieces of writing not only on Mary Sues, but on the dire need for representation in general.

In the essay, Willis talks about Mary Sues – beyond being masturbatory adventure avatars for young people just coming into their own sexuality, or avatars to go on adventures with – but as voice avatars. Mary Sues, when wielded with self-awareness, deliberateness, and precision, can force a wedge into the narrative, crack it open, and provide a space for marginalized identities and voices in a media-text that otherwise silences and ignores them.

This is done one of two ways. First: by jamming in a diverse Mary Sue, and making the characters and the world acknowledge and work with that diversity. Or, second: by co-opting a pre-existing character and overlaying a new identity on them while retaining their essential characterization. For example, by writing a story where Bilbo Baggins is non-binary, but still thinking that adventures are messy, dirty things. Or making Sherlock Holmes deaf, but still perfectly capable of solving all the crimes. Or making James Potter Indian, so that the Dursleys prejudiced against Harry not only for his magic, but also for his skin color. Or making Ariel the mermaid wrestle with severe body dysphoria, or Commander Sheppard suffer from severe PTSD.

I like to call this voice avatar Mary Sue a ‘Meta-Sue’, because when authors have evolved enough in their storytelling abilities to consciously deploy Mary Sues as a deliberate trope, they’re doing so on a self-aware, meta-textual level.

So that is where Mary Sues comes from.

But what is a Mary Sue? How can you point at a character and say, “Yes, that is – definitively – a Mary Sue”.

Mary Sues can generally be characterized as:

-Too perfect, or unrealistically skilled. They shouldn’t be able to do all the things they do, or know all the things they know, as easily as they do or know them. For reasons of the plot expedience, they learn too fast, and are able to perform feats that other characters in their world who have studied or trained longer and harder find difficult. For example, Neo in The Matrix.

-They are the black hole of every plot – every major quest or goal of the pre-existing characters warps to include or be about them; every character wants to befriend them, or romance them, or sleep with them, and every villain wants to possess them, or kill them, or sleep with them. This makes sense, as why write a character into the world if you’re not going to have something very important happen to them? So, for example, like Neo in The Matrix.

-A Mary Sue, because it’s usually written by a neophyte author who’s been taught that characters need flaws, has some sort of melodramatic, angsty tragic back-story that, while on the surface seems to motivate them into action, because of lack of experience in creating a follow-through of emotional motivation, doesn’t actually affect their mental health or ability to trust or be happy or in love. For example, like the emotional arc of Neo in The Matrix.

– A Mary Sue saves the day. This goes back to that impulse to be the center of the story. Like Neo in The Matrix.

-And lastly, Mary Sues come from outside the group. They’re from the ‘real world’, like you and I, or have somehow discovered the hero’s secret identity and must be folded into the team, or are a new recruit, or are a sort of previously undiscovered stand-alone Chosen One. Like, for example, Neo in The Matrix.

Now, as I’ve said, there’s actually nothing inherently wrong with writing a Mary Sue. Neo is a Mary Sue, but The Matrix is still a really engaging and well written film. And simply by virtue of the fact that an individual with ingrained cultural foundations is writing a story, that story is inherently rooted in that writer’s lived life and experiences. As much as a writer may try to either highlight or downplay it, each character and story they create has some of themselves in it. The first impulse of storytelling is to talk about oneself. We write about ourselves, only the more we write, the more skilled we become at disguising the sliver of us-ness in a character, folding it into something different and unique. We, as storytellers, as humans, empathize with protagonists and fictional characters constantly – we love putting our feet into other people’s shoes. It’s how we understand and engage with the world.

And we as writers tap into our own emotions in order to describe them on the page. We take slices of our lives – our experiences, our memories, our friend’s verbal tics or hand gestures, aunt Brenda’s way of making tea, Uncle Rudy’s way having a pipe after dinner, that time Grannie got lost at the zoo – and we weave them together into a golem that we call a character, which comes to life with a bit of literary magic. I mean, allow me to be sparklingly reductionist for a second, but in the most basic sense, every character is a Mary Sue.

It’s just a matter of whether the writer has evolved to the point  in their craft that they’ve learned to animate that golem with the sliver of self-ness hidden deep enough that it is unrecognizable as self-ness, but still recognizable as human-ness.

For years, mainstream western media has featured characters that were primarily heterosexual, able bodied, neurotypical, white cismales. And, regrettably, because of that, this flavor of human is now assumed to be the default for a character. When people from other communities speak up requesting other flavours, for characters for whom the imbedded sliver of humanity remains just as poignant and relatable, but the outer shell is of a different variety, this is when that certain segment of the fan population looses their cool.

That certain segment of the fan population has been telling us for years that if we don’t like what we see on TV or in video games, or in books, or comics, or on the stage, that we should just go make our own stuff. And now we are.

“Make your own stuff,” they say, and then follow it up with: “What’s with all this political correctness gone wild? Uhg. This stuff is all just Mary Sue garbage.”

Well, yes. Of course it is. That’s the point.

But why are they saying it like that?

Because they mean it in a derogatory sense.

They don’t mean it in the way that Paula Smith meant it – a little bit belittling but mostly fun; a bemused celebration of why we love putting ourselves into the stories and worlds we enjoy. They don’t mean it the way that Willis means it – a deliberate and knowing way to shove the previously marginalized into the center. They don’t even mean it the way that I mean it in my own work - as a tool for carefully deconstructing and discussing character and narrative with a character and from within a narrative.

When a certain segment of the fan population talks about ‘Mary Sue’, they mean to weaponize it. To make it a stand-in for the worse thing that a character can be: bland, predictable, and too-perfect. Which, granted, many Mary Sues are. But not all of them. And a character doesn’t have to be a Mary Sue to be done badly, either.

When this certain segment of the fan population says ‘Mary Sue’, they’re trying to shame the creators for deviating from the norm - the white, the heterosexual, the able bodied, the neurotypical, the straight cismale.

When this certain segment of the population says ‘Mary Sue,’ what they’re really saying is: “I don’t believe people like this are interesting enough to be the lead character in a story.”

When this certain segment of the population says ‘Mary Sue,’ what they’re really saying is: “I don’t think there’s any need to listen to that voice. They’re not interesting enough.”

When this certain segment of the population says ‘Mary Sue,’ what they’re really saying is: “This character is not what I am used to a.k.a. not like me, and I’m gonna whine about it.”

When this certain segment of the population says ‘Mary Sue,’ what they’re really saying is: “Even though kids from all over the world, from many different cultural, religious and ethnic backgrounds have had to grow up learning to identify with characters who don’t look or think like them, identifying with characters who don’t look or think like me is hard and I don’t wanna.”

When this certain segment of the population says ‘Mary Sue,’ what they’re really saying is: ”Even though I’ve grown up in a position of privilege and power, and even though publishing and producing diverse stories with diverse casts doesn’t actually cut into the proportionate representation that I receive, and never will, I am nonetheless scared that I’ll never see people like me in media texts ever again.”

When this certain segment of the population says ‘Mary Sue,’ what they’re really saying is: “Considering my fellow human beings as fellow human beings worthy of having stories about them and their own experiences, in their own voices, is hard and I don’t wanna do it.”

When this certain segment of the population says ‘Mary Sue,’ what they’re really saying is: “I only want stories about me.”

They call leads ‘Mary Sues’ so people will stop writing them and instead write… well, their version of a ‘Mary Sue.’ The character that is representative of their lived experiences, their power and masturbatory fantasies, their physical appearance, their sexual awakenings, their cultural identity, their voice, their kind of narratives.

Missing, of course, that the point of revisionist and inclusive narratives aren’t to shove out previous incarnations, but to coexist alongside them. It’s not taking away one entrée and offering only another – it’s building a buffet.

Okay, so who actually cares if these trolls call these diverse characters Mary Sues?

Well, unfortunately, because this certain segment of the population have traditionally been the group most listened-to by the mainstream media creators and the big money, their opinions have power. (Never mind that they’re not actually the biggest group of consumers anymore, nor no longer the most vocal.)

So, this is where you come in.

You have the power to take the Mary Sue from the edge of the narrative and into the centre. And you do can do this by normalizing it. Think back to that author who didn’t think little black girls were allowed to be the heroes of fairy tales. Now imagine how much different her inner world, her imagination might have been at the stage when she was first learning to understand her own self-worth, if she had seen faces like hers on the television, in comics, in games, and on the written page every day of her life.

And not just one or two heroes, but a broad spectrum of characters that run the gamut from hero to villain, from fragile to powerful, from straight to gay, and every other kind of intersectional identity.

You have the power to give children the ability to see themselves.

Multi-faceted representation normalizes the marginalized.

And if you have the privilege to be part of the passing member of the mainstream, then weaponize your privilege. Refuse to work with publishers, or websites, or conventions that don’t also support diverse creators. Put diverse characters in your work, and do so thoughtfully and with the input of the people from the community you are portraying. And if you’re given the opportunity to submit or speak at an event, offer to share the microphone.

The first thing I did when actor Burn Gorman got a Twitter account was to Tweet him  my thanks for saving the world in Pacific Rim while on a cane. As someone who isn’t as mobile as the heroes I see in action films - who knows for a fact that when the zombie apocalypse comes I will not be a-able to outrun the monsters – it meant so much to me that his character was not only an integral and vital member of the team who cancelled the apocalypse, but also that not once in the film did someone call him a cripple, or tell him he couldn’t participate because of his disability, or leave him behind.

Diversity matters.

Not because it’s a trendy hashtag, or a way to sell media texts to a locked-down niche market, but because every single human being deserves to be told that they have a voice worth listening to; a life worth celebrating and showcasing in a narrative; a reality worth acknowledging and accepting and protecting; emotions that are worth exploring and validating; intelligence that is worth investing in and listening to; and a capacity to love that is worth adoring.

White, heterosexual, neurotypical, able-bodied cismales are not the only people on the planet who are human.

And you have a right to tell your story your way.

Calling something a ‘Mary Sue’ in order to dismiss it out of hand, as an excuse to hate something before even seeing it, is how the trolls bury your Narrative and your Identity.  We are storytellers, all of us. Every person in this room. Whether your wheel house is in fiction, or academia, or narrative non-fiction, we impart knowledge and offer experience through the written word, through the telling of tales, through leading a reader from one thought to another.

And we none of deserve to be shouted down, talked over, or dismissed. No one can tell you that your story isn’t worth telling. Of course it is. It’s yours.

And don’t let anyone call your characters, or your work, or you a ’Mary Sue’ in the derogatory sense ever again. Or I am going to scream.

#J.M. Frey #Words for Writers #Writing Advice #Writing Community #writer #am writing #voice #how to #writblr #writeblr

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itsthenerdwonder · 6 years ago

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Avengers: Endgame

So I just saw it again. I should’ve done this the first time I saw it. The audience was amazing. The laughs and gasps and cheers and tears! We were into it. There were a couple tops of heads bobbing across the bottom of the screen of people needing to pee, but overall a great experience with my roommate.

But my parents wanted to see it too, so my dad bought tickets for an 11:30 a.m. showing yesterday. Earlier is better, but that means we don’t get the kids or teens who love this series. Just the adults who are taking off work. That might not have been bad, but it’s a dine-in theater (so people were constantly moving around in my direct line of sight) with one kid running up and down the stairs (I get you need to pee, but if you stomp one more time I will snap you out of existence) and people talking (if you want to whisper, that’s fine as I constantly whisper through movies, but even my mom talked loudly because she needed me to hear from 4 seats away) but not cheering. Come on! That was an amazing shot! He did the thing! We won! Clap! Cheer! Something!

I also didn’t bring my notebook to write down my immediate thoughts, so I’m going to basically give a play by play as best as I can. Mostly memories of the first showing, as I’m sure you guys would prefer. On with the review!

So the movie starts immediately with the death of the Barton family. The logo hasn’t even started, but here we go! Death and pain await us.

Once the logo starts, we switch to Tony and Nebula on the...ship. I kinda wanna say Millennium Falcon, but that’s not even close to accurate. *googles* The Benatar. ...yeah, I’m not calling it that. Anyway, Tony’s teaching her how to play tabletop football, and it’s adorable. He’s teaching her how to be softer and she’s letting him eat the last food and he’s fixing the ship and she’s fixing his body and it’s...it’s just so nice. I mean, we have Tony doing a voice over of how they’re going to die which isn’t as nice, but their bond at being the last ones on Titan is just...I love it. We’re barely 5 minutes in and I’m about to cry.

And then we get a Carol ex Machina. Yay? Anyway, they get back to Earth (side note: the end scene of CM was apparently not in this movie, but it probably got cut due to time constraints) and Steve is the first one there. He’s the first one to Tony, the first one to try and help him, the first to hear his regrets, the first to offer sympathy and I don’t ship Stoney, but DANG! That’s how you do it! And then Pepper is there and she and Tony are kissing and hugging and it’s adorable even though we just cut out Steve and he looks a little awkward.

Cut to inside and the death toll rolling and climbing and Tony loses it. He’s still mad at Cap for Civil War. Still pissed about how everyone jumped down his throat for Ultron when he was doing his damnedest to prevent this exact situation where everyone died. And like...no. I still disagree with your idea that it was better to put a “suit of armor” around the world than protect everyone’s “precious freedoms,” but I understand what you’re saying. Dad didn’t back up Mom and now our kids have been murdered by a drive-by hitman. I get it. I’m still not supporting you, but I understand why you’re pissed.

But, Nebula knows where the purple cockroach scuttled off to and Carol is a fucking tank, so let’s go. But the stones have already been destroyed. ...I’m sure this will have no lasting consequences, especially since the Ancient One said “these things create our understanding of time, reality, space. if you take one away...you risk catastrophic disaster and alternate timelines.” BUT NOW THEY’RE ALL GONE because some fuck boy decided to play with things he didn’t understand to “correct” a problem he didn’t understand and had no business messing with. Thor cuts off the gauntlet and then his head before walking off into an increasingly blurry image and we roll the title.

FIVE. YEARS. LATER.

Steve’s leading a support group (ONE GUY SAYS THE WORD MAN INSTEAD OF WOMAN ABOUT HIS DATE SO NOW WE HAVE LGBT REPRESENTATION YAAAAYYYY! fuck this) and Natasha’s leading the remaining Avengers. Carol says “I’m busy dealing with other worlds besides Earth, so piece out bitches.” Rocket and Nebula...I’m assuming are doing the same thing. It’s not really clear. Okoye is...here for some reason to say there’s an earthquake, but there’s nothing we can do. Um...rescue teams? We can’t do anything about the earthquake, but if you’re reporting it, I’m sure it caused some mild damage or something? No? You’re useless. Rhodey reports that a cartel in Mexico has been slaughtered by Clint and we’re not supposed to be okay with that. I mean, wouldn’t be the first time he was a bad guy, and he’s more anti-hero/rogue vigilante than bad guy, but you do you.

Then Steve comes in, sees Nat trying not to sob because Clint’s bad and the world is bad and she’s stressed, and tries to cheer her up. But, DING DONG! Scott’s not dead. See, a rat in San Francisco pushed the right button and spit Scott back out into a storage area. After walking home with a little red wagon and finding Cassie, now age 13-15, and getting the 411 on the last 5 years, he got the La Cucaracha van out of storage and drove it all the way to upstate New York. So now he’s jittery and weird (probably because he spent 5 years hours in the quantum realm and he went a little cuckoo) and saying they should try time travel to get the stones back so they can undo what Thanos did.

It’s just crazy enough to work. LET’S ASK TONY! Who has a child to show that time has passed. The daughter is wearing an iron mask that Tony says is for “mom” so we aren’t confused when Rescue shows up later. Not that anyone would know her name is Rescue outside of comic book fans, but who cares because Tony is an adorable father. But then the plot shows up and says “get in, loser, we’re going time heisting.” Tony’s all like...you’re kidding, right? And so is the audience, but weirder things have happened in comics and Tony always loved a dramatic entrance, so whatever.

Then we have Professor Hulk, as he is apparently called. And...in my opinion, this is the worst scene in the movie. We’re in a diner and the food is in bowls bigger than my head and Professor Hulk gets talked into helping with the time heist. Sure, fine, we need the plot to move forward. We have a nice explanation how Hulk and Banner are one and it’s Hulk’s body with Banner’s brains because they did some soul searching and are better now. That’s nice. I like that. That is a good part of this scene. But then we have some weird kids taking a picture with Hulk/Banner (you know what, I’m just going to use whichever one I want and you can fight me) and Scott says, “do you want one with me? I’m Ant-Man.” And thus begins the longest 5 minutes of the entire movie. It might not even be that long, but it actually feels a little longer. The kids don’t want a picture because they’re Hulk fans instead of Ant-Man fans. That’s fine, that happens. And they don’t know who he is, which...this is New York and he’s over in San Francisco. Plus, no one sees Ant-Man. Giant-Man/Goliath? Sure. But not Ant-Man. And Scott sees it and immediately retracts his offer to keep it from being weird. But Hulk, to be nice, pushes the issue, which makes it weird. And I’m like, if you want to push it, ask if they want Cap’s or Black Widow’s? But no, we have to have the kids smiling but clearly not wanting too and Scott seeing that and being a little hurt but understanding he’s not an A-lister and Bruce being “kind” but about as intelligent as Hulk. We have time for this? The movie is over 3 hours long? We kept this? Why? Did test audiences love it? Cut it!

And back to Tony who shows us a picture of him and Peter goofing off (don’t make me cry yet, save it for the hug or the Simba/Mufasa moment) and thinks that maybe he can have hope again. We don’t know how long he works on it, he just says “one last time before bed and I shut it all down.” But then...“SHIT!” “shit.” Duh! Knew that was coming. Kids say the shittiest things. But it’s okay because she loves him 3000. That’s going to be a knife wound that won’t heal anytime soon. Anyway, he tells Pepper that he figured out time travel. Because that’s something you can just do. And because he knows that if he continues down this path, he’ll probably unretire again. He won’t stop helping because he can’t stop and he doesn’t want to stop. He’ll become Iron Man again. And Pepper says, “but will you be able to rest?” And, if you guys remember back in IM3 how Tony couldn’t sleep? It would probably be like that. It might not be visions of Thanos’s ship, it would probably be Peter asking why he couldn’t come home. So...yeah, mull on that for a bit.

The next day, Banner, Steve and Nat test out time travel on Scott. But he becomes a kid, an old man, and a baby because “instead of pushing Lang through time, you essentially pushed time through Lang.” Also, Tony’s here! He got a little “I told you so” moment, but he and Steve are definitely on better grounds than the last time we saw them. (Tony’s porch doesn’t count because that was mostly Tony and Scott with a little bit from Steve to say “pretty please with a cherry on top?”) And then Tony asks if we’re getting the whole team.

Rocket and Nebula show up in the ship and blast away the insides of Scott’s taco. “Rhodey, be careful on reentry, there’s an idiot in the landing zone.” *CLANK* *Scott drops the taco shell in fear* “Sup, Regular-Sized Man?” It’s so funny followed by Hulk sharing two tacos with Scott to replace his. Adorable. Anyway, so Hulk and Rocket go to pick up Thor in New Asgard. No idea where this is. I think it was in Kansas originally, but Rocket, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore. Looks more like coastal Maine or something. We meet up with Valkyrie who informs us that Thor is doing a bang-up job leading his Asgardian subjects in their new home. Also that she’s weirded out by Professor Hulk, which is fair. Me too, although I can look at him while my roommate said she couldn’t, but she’s a weirdo so whatever.

Anyway, Thor’s holed up in his house with Korg and Miek playing Fortnight and Thor threatens a child for being an ass. By the way, Thor’s fat now. Yeah, after watching everyone he ever loved die plus failing to prevent the deaths of quadrillions, he’s wallowing in a drunken stupor and eating carbs. It’s played for laughs, but like, sheesh. It’s pretty rough. This is Thor! A literal god! This is the guy who’s been stabbed multiple times by his brother and continues to love and care for him. He can bounce back from anything...right? Hulk tries to convince him to come back, but he doesn’t consider it until Rocket says they have beer on the ship.

Now to pick up Hawkeye. To Tokyo we go! Hawkeye Ronin is chasing this guy who’s probably Yakuza or some other mafia guy. Clint kills him, which is kinda cool in a visual and choreographic sense, but not super profound. Nat says we might be able to bring your fam back. “Don’t give me hope.” “I wish I could’ve given it to you sooner.” And now we test the time travel thing. Clint goes home (space=check) and grabs his sons’ baseball mitt before hearing the voice of his daughter (time=check) and being pulled back with the mitt still in hand (probably accidental, but return with objects=check). Now we figure out when. Previously on Thor the Dark World...on Guardians of the Galaxy...on Infinity War...on Avengers...on Doctor Strange: Infinity Stone montage. This montage marks the start of hour 2. We are now getting interesting.

Cap, Scott and Tony to Avengers with Bruce tagging along for five seconds. Thor and Rocket to Thor: The Dark World. Nebula and Rhodey to Guardians and Clint and Nat to Infinity War, but at the same time as Guardians. Natalie Portman’s back and being stalked by a rabbit. Rene Russo’s back and being stalked by fat!Thor. Tilda Swinton’s back and explaining magic to Bruce. Robert Redford is back and being an ass to past!Tony while present!Tony tells Scott “lightly kill me.” Come and Get Your Love is back and cutting out so we can laugh at Chris Pratt. Hugo Weaving is back and just as unhelpful as ever. That one shot of Avengers is back and showing up the framing of this movie. (seriously, I want a good shot of A-force or all of the “avengers.” Apparently the Russo’s don’t understand screenshots.) Also, discussion of America’s ass is a thing (I love it) and MCU!Cap quotes Comics!Cap by saying “Hang glider” (I hate it.) But apparently Tony forgot about Hulk’s mini-freak out over the stairs (should’ve let one of the fliers go down the stairs instead of Hulk) so in the middle of their heist, the case flies open, Loki grabs the tessaract and gets the heck out of Dodge. ...I’m sure it’s fine.

Now Steve and Tony go back even further STAN LEE CAMEO! RIP! and Scott, being new here, doesn’t understand that Mom and Dad are finally on the same page and now is when you just sit back and watch in awe as they do their thing better than you ever could. So they go back to 1971 and Steve sees Peggy and Tony runs into Howard. We’ve switched to old Howard, not the one from First Avenger/the Agent Carter series. And Tony and Howard bond over being dads (he was still shitty. Just because he wasn’t horrible all the time doesn’t excuse his emotional and [at least in the comics] physical abuse) while Steve dreams for 5 seconds before tricking Michael Douglas out of his office to grab more Pym Particles for them to get home.

Meanwhile, Nat and Clint fight on a cliff while Red Skull sits back eating popcorn or some shit. Why are they fighting? Well, who’s going to die, of course. Because Clint feels guilty over becoming a vigilante and Nat has nothing else to live for? Okay, pros? Clint has a fam. Nat is managing the Avengers. Cons? Clint went a little crazy for a couple years, but he was doing what he thought was helping, so...??? Nat has red in her ledger, but she’s been trying to wipe it out since day one, so...? They basically do that thing where one person gets up and the other person trips them as they go by. Eventually Nat dies and it’s pretty sad. But...now we have all the stones! Yay?

Oh, and Thor and mom had a heart-to-heart where Frigga said “you’re a failure and that’s okay because we all fail. Now, look on the bright side, find your hope, and start eating better.” Then Thor grabbed Mjolnir (I’m sure there were no implications there, unless Cap gave it back with the Aether) and was super happy because he was still worthy. Even fat and a failure, he’s still worthy of wielding Mjolnir. So sweet. So nice. Anyway, it’s rabbit season duck season rabbit season duck season and Rocket and Thor skedaddle and meet up with everyone else at the same time, but without Nat. They mourn, but Thor says “knock it off, she’s not dead.” Which, considering how many times Loki’s died plus he’s wielding his destroyed hammer with the destroyed Infinity Stones ...yeah, that’s fair. But “she can’t come back” because her contract’s up and she doesn’t wanna.

And now we enter hour 3! The best part, in my opinion. We have the stones. Tony’s made an Iron Gauntlet to hold them. Thor wants to do it so he can finally feel useful and like he did something right, but Tony won’t let him because he’s not in the right mindset. Fair, Thor’s probably still drunk as a skunk, but the guy needs a win. You should understand that, Tony. Hulk says “I’ll do it cuz I’m bigger than you, and Thanos was big and his arm got turned into a chicken wing, extra crispy.” So he puts on the Iron Gauntlet and screams in agony. That’s what happens when you use subpar materials. Probably should’ve gone to Nidavilir instead of using Earth tech, but whatever. Hulk snaps and then birds are singing and Mrs. Barton is calling her husband like...where did you go and where’s all the food? We probably won.

But, uh oh, apparently Nebula has a network (...sure?) and they forgot to put her on airplane mode when she went back to 2014. So the broadband was crowded and Nebula kept making the dial-up sound. Thanos took present!Nebula in 2014 on his ship and past!Nebula takes her gold plating and puts them on top of her blue plating (...no, but whatever) and she goes back to the future instead of present!Nebula. Now that past!Nebula and her continued obsession with getting daddy’s approval are in the future, she can bring the entirety of Thanos’s ship with her. I guess Thanos replicated the Pym Particle? Or Maw did? Whatever, we need a final battle, so here we go.

Just as Clint is gaining hope and Scott’s saying “ooh pretty” to the birds and Tony’s trying to keep Hulks arm from turning grey, Thanos says “surprise, muddafucka,” and drops a single nuke. Rhodey, Rocket and Hulk are all trapped together with rising water and Hulk keeping the building off of them with one arm. Scott’s running as fast as his little legs will carry him to help, although it’s probably good that he’s so small in the continually collapsing building. Clint has the Iron Gauntlet and is running away from those ugly things from Infinity War. You know, the Mieks that kill themselves at the Wakandan border? Yeah, gross. And Tony is joking with Steve and it’s nice even in this scary time. Thor suits up with a cool braided beard, Thanos says “I’ve changed my mind. Forget wiping out half, let’s start from scratch,” and it’s time to start fighting for another 45-50 minutes.

Thor, Steve and Tony go at it. Combo moves and team ups and Thanos is getting beat up, but not going down. Then he throws Iron Man away. He flicks Cap off of him. He grabs Stormbreaker and starts to do the thing that Thor does to his future self last movie. And a girl in the audience just starts shouting, “Come on, Thor! Come on, Thor!” And internally I’m right there with her, but then THE AUDIENCE. LOSES. THEIR. SHIT!!!! I know there were more people screaming than just me, but I probably contributed about 50% of the collective volume. STEVE ROGERS IS WIELDING MJOLNIR! YES! We’ve been waiting for that since Ultron! Probably my favorite part of the whole movie. I’m totally going to find that video on YouTube and save it for myself because FUCK YEAH!

Meanwhile, Hawkeye has been playing keep away with the evil Mieks and past!Nebula shows up to grab the Iron Gauntlet. Present!Nebula convinces past!Gamora they’re on the same side and we can kill Thanos. They start by saving Hawkeye from past!Nebula and kill her. ...I’m sure it’s fine.

Thanos kicks America’s ass. He calls down the 4 uglies we killed last movie plus more armies. I guess his ship was there on Earth while he was dicking around on Titan? Otherwise, how did the the triangle ships get to Wakanda? Whatever. We have a gorgeous shot of Cap in the high ground backed by white walking down to face Thanos with the low ground backed by darkness. And then...“Hey Cap...Cap, it’s Sam. Do you copy?...On your left.” And a magic wormhole opens up and Okoye, T’Challa and Shuri all walk through and nod at Steve for a whole minute before Sam flies through. And then, all the circles show up and everybody walks through. Valkyrie on her horse; Spidey thwiping behind the Guardians; Wong and his sorcerers; Wasp and Bucky; Scott growing big and saving Hulk, Rhodey and Rocket; it’s a who’s who of the MCU. “Is that everyone?” “You want more?!” (yeah, actually. Where are my Defenders?) We’re all eating it up. Clapping and cheering and then Cap raises Mjolnir and says, “AVENGERS...assemble” and they charge and the audience goes wild. I personally think the assemble shouldn’t have been so quiet. Like, how did they hear him and know to charge? But it’s fine. I don’t care. KICK THE ANNOYING GRAPE’S BUTT! And they do.

In between the fighting, we get several nice moments and call backs. Rocket and Bucky fighting side by side again, although Rocket doesn’t make a prosthetic joke. Scott and Hope start up La Cucaracha van to take the stones back in time and Hope calls Steve “Cap,” because “that’s what we call him. If you’re a friend.” Iron Man and Rescue are fighting back to back and I love this power couple so much. Doctor Strange gets sidelined taking care of a burst damn (guess he’s too powerful and we can’t have him showing up the og Avengers) but Tony’s like “Is this the one where we win?” Strange is all “if I tell you what I wished on the birthday candle, it won’t come true,” which I guess is as good an explanation as any. Hawkeye’s getting overwhelmed and T’Challa says, “Clint, give it to me,” because he doesn’t know his name is Hawkeye since he introduced himself as “We haven’t met. I’m Clint.” “I don’t care.” Spidey takes it and tells Karen to “turn on Instant Kill” because this is a time where it definitely qualifies. He then gets rescued by Mjolnir and Cap telling him “Hey, Queens, head’s up,” which is adorable. And then Tony hugs Peter because he loves him but also “That’s not a hug, I’m just getting the door for you. We’re not there yet.” Past!Gamora saving Quill and when he sees her and caresses her, she knees him in the balls. “Seriously? Him,” she asks. Present!Nebula replies, “It was either him or a tree,” which is fair. Drax isn’t interested, she’s like his murderous little sister and Rocket is...no. We’re having so much fun.

Wanda shows up in front of past!Thanos and says “You’ve taken everything from me.” “I don’t even know you,” which is fair. But then she’s like, “You will.” And dang! If that’s not a badass line, I don’t know what is! She and he go at it and it’s awesome and then he’s pressing down on her, but she smiles and destroys half of the dual sword, making him effectively fucked. And she’s got him. He’s a goner, until he cheats again. He cheated with Vision and he cheats here. So what’s important is while Iron Man or Thor or Captain America are super powerful, Thanos can easily take them on in hand-to-hand combat. But Scarlett Witch? She’s too awesome! He can’t beat her playing fair! The cheating prune has to call for air support to get her off of him. Screw everyone and everything else, get this powerful witch off! And it works, but luckily, the sorcerers put up shields to protect people from the falling nukes. And then...they stop and point up...oooooh BABY! LET’S GO! I mean, it’s totally a Carol ex Machina, but I love seeing her just tank everything.

She takes out the ship, allowing everyone a second to breathe and Peter to slightly uncurl and hold the Iron Gauntlet. “Hey, I’m Peter Parker.” Sweety! Use your made-up name! “Hey, Peter Parker, you got something for me?” And it’s confident and badass, but you know what’s even more badass? FUCKING A-FORCE! “Don’t worry. She has help.” FUCK YEAH! Every single female in the MCU (minus Widow)! I love it so much. I wish we could’ve had a single frame where all of the ladies are visible, but it was still so awesome. And Captain Marvel is charging towards La Cucaracha van and is about to win until the purple toad throws the other half of his big sword into the back of the van. Jerk. Doctor Strange takes a hand away from dealing with the water (which...isn’t doing anything. Yay?) to tell Tony, “1.”

Now we get to play keep away on a smaller stage. Thanos vs Carol is badass. She doesn’t even flinch when he headbutts her. So fucking awesome. But then he cheats and pulls out the power stone (that hurts to hold but not the blue stone in infinity war? okay) to punch her. That does it and takes her out, then Thor and Cap try and team up but he throws them off and give Steve a massive headache. He puts on the glove and is about to snap his fingers--but Tony swoops in at the last second. And we know he’s no match. We’ve seen him lose to the purple gorilla twice! So what’s he gonna, oh. Nanotechnology to the rescue. Unfortunately, the suit was not designed to hold 6 Infinity Stones, so while Tony stays conscious enough to spout a great one-liner “And I...am...Iron Man,” and snap his fingers, that’s it. Thanos and his entire army are dust. ...I’m sure it’s fine. Like, get fucked, but...time travel? Anyway, Tony is...he’s done. He’s only human. Thanos is...a big alien. Hulk is...a big monster. Stark is...Iron Man. It’s at this point my roommate is sobbing into my arm. And I can hear sniffles in the theater until the end of the movie.

Rhodey finds Tony first, and I thought he was already dead, not going to lie. Tony can’t do anything. He can’t move, blinking isn’t happening, his eyes are very unfocused. One might assume he was dead. But then Peter comes in and, oh! If you weren’t already crying, now we have Peter telling Tony “we won” like Steve did all those years ago. But now it’s...it feels like Simba at the death of Mufasa. “HEEEEEELP! SOMEBODY! Anybody. Help.” And so Pepper comes to the Rescue (sorry, you’re right, not the time) and tells him, “it’s okay. We’ll be okay. You can rest now.” I don’t know if “we” is Pepper and Morgan, the Avengers, Earth/the galaxy, or the MCU, but man! This thing that Iron Man started 11 years ago is...it’s come into it’s own. And saying goodbye to Tony Stark, the man who’s been in almost as many MCU movies as Stan Lee, to RDJ, the man who is Tony Stark in his early trials and path to redemption, to Iron Man, the superhero who gave us hope in a world of bad Marvel movies, is hard.

And then we have a funeral because we really needed it. Tony gets a last speech of “if I die, I still love you.” WE LOVE YOU 3000! And then we get everyone standing around for the funeral for Tony and no one else. (Black Widow? Gamora? Loki? No? Why not?) Pepper lays down a wreath with the “Proof that Tony Stark has a Heart” and we have a tracking shot of pain. Pepper, Happy, Morgan and Steve. Ant-Mans and Wasps. Gaurdians of the Galaxy minus Gamora. T’Challa, Okoye and Shuri. The Barton Family. Bucky, Falcon and Wanda. THAT KID FROM IM3! Maria Hill and Gen. Ross. Captain Marvel. And then Nicholas J. Fury with Coulson standing behind him. And Morgan wants cheeseburgers! And Happy’s gonna give them to her!!!!! DON’T MAKE ME CRY AT CHEESEBURGERS, RUSSOS!

Thor gives Valkyrie kingship over New Asgard (which is awesome) and dicks off with the Guardians. Barton retires, for good this time. And Cap’s going back in time to put all the stones back. I don’t know if that means the stones are still gone or back or what because...The Ancient One said something about we need all six to exist or catastrophe, but Thanos is an idiot so...idk. Anyway, Cap goes and gives the stones back and then decides to live the rest of his life with Peggy Carter because apparently he’s still not over her. I thought he kinda was. He started dating Sharon or something, right? You know what, it’s cute and adorable. Anyway, Steve’s old now and passes on a fixed shield to Sam. Bucky’s perfectly okay with it, and I am too. Captain Falcon and Bucky? I like it. Might not be the dynamic duo that Captain America and Bucky were, but still good. And then the credits roll and the og Avengers sign their names and we’re all clapping and cheering and crying and it’s so beautiful.

This movie...you know. If you’re reading this, you’ve already seen the movie, so you know. You know how good it is. It’s not perfect. The beginning is slow, some of the jokes don’t land and some people don’t like where the Russos took certain characters. “Steve shouldn’t have gone to live with Peggy!” “How dare they kill off Tony!” “They fridged Natasha! It should’ve been Clint!” “I don’t like that they made Thor a joke! FAT PEOPLE AREN’T FUNNY EVER!” “Ronin was stupid!” “I couldn’t look at Hulk!” “Captain Marvel needed more screen time!” “Captain Marvel had too much screen time!” “TIME TRAVEL!” SHUT UP!

Look, the movie isn’t perfect, but if you want to constantly bitch about this movie, go watch CinemaSins. This movie is great. Not perfect, but great. It is epic. It is grand. It is a finale for the ages. We the fans have seen the movies, made the fanfiction, bought the merch and just enjoyed the heck out of this massive franchise for the past 11 years. We wanted an ending of monumental proportions and that’s what we got. I’m not going to defend their take on how Thor was funny because he was fat. I’m not going to say Steve should or shouldn’t have married Peggy. I’m not going to say who should have died or not died. I am at peace. Because this is a great movie. Not a good one, a great one. It ties up so many plot points and character arcs from Iron Man and brings it back for us to enjoy. We love this movie because they loved us. And if you disagreed with something, Archive of Our Own is always taking new fanfic. We’ll read it and enjoy it, but right now, I want to enjoy a cup of cocoa to drown my sorrows in. This has been a journey of epic proportions, but my tears are still coming and I’d like to read some happy fanfic. I’ll see you on the flip side, nerds, for a new live blogging series. Later.

#MCU #avengers endgame #endgame spoilers #spoilers #live blogging

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bruciewayne · 6 years ago

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...oh my god, they were roommates!!

Q: Why won't The Winter Soldier come live in the Avenger's Tower? A: Because he has a roommate

aka the shrinkyclinks roommate au with a side of frustrated dad tony stark

(winter soldier bucky, skinny artist steve)

read on ao3

shrinkyclinks roommate au masterpost

“Roommate? What do you mean roommate?”

The Winter Soldier gave Tony an odd look, “Does roommate mean something new now?” he said, scowling. Not that Tony had seen him with any other expression, although sometimes it came with an extra helping of anger and/or annoyance.

He was scowling when they first found him in the Hydra facility, he scowled when he signed the papers to officially join the Avengers Initiative, he scowled all they way through battles and clean up. Although, Shuri had texted Tony saying that he had smiled when they’d finally undone his Hydra programming - and T’Challa had confirmed it, so it was good to know that he, in theory, could make any other expression that wasn't a scowl, but Tony had never seen it.

Tony squinted at The Soldier, “No,” he said carefully, the roommate vine playing on a loop in his head - Peter had been so disappointed when he’d found out that Shuri had introduced him to vines, and the subsequent horror that was Gen Z humour, before he could. Tony offhandedly wondered if The Soldier knew what vines were, technically, he could be classed as a millennial. Probably not. He looked over at The Soldier’s whole, demeanor, the Murder Stance™ (a sequel to the Murder Strut™) in full force, topped off with the ever-present scowl (this time, with a flavour of impatience) and decided, that no, The Winter Soldier definitely didn't know what vines were.

And now the Murder Stance™ was the Murder Strut™. Away from Tony - The Soldier had a surprisingly good ass - “Hey, hey! Manchurian Candidate, you never gave me an answer, you gonna move into the tower with the rest of us?”

The Soldier, without turning around, yelled back, “I told you, I have a roommate.”

Tony turned around and frowned at the rest of the team, “When did he get a roommate?” he muttered, not really expecting an answer.

“His roommate,” growled Fury, from behind him, talking over Tony’s squawk and his promises to ‘cat-bell’ him, “is none of your business. Why are you all still in my conference room?”

He huffed, “You gotta be paying him more if he has to have a roommate,” he knew New York was expensive, but the guy was a superhero, and he probably had like, seven decades worth of backpay.

“He’s getting paid as much as you are. Get out of my conference room.”

“I don't know how much I’m getting paid,”

“Check your books, and get out of my damn room,”

“But-”

“Out.”

Tony and the rest of the Avengers hightailed it out of there, not wanting to relive that particular day.

“Honey, I’m home,” Bucky called, as he entered their apartment, emptying his pockets of all his weapons into the basket near the door, feeling himself physically go from The Winter Soldier, ex-Hydra, ex-brainwashed, SHIELD agent and Avenger, to Bucky Barnes, sometimes drummer, sometimes mechanic, and boyfriend.

It was always so liberating, when he got home, free from surveillance, although, he wasn't naive, he was pretty sure SHIELD knew he lived here. But that better be the extent of it. He’d made sure that the surveillance and oversight clause in his Avengers papers was very clear. Matt had helped. He’d had enough of the oversight bullshit with Hydra.

“Hey,” Steve said, walking out of the kitchen, smelling of ginger and garlic and what seemed like twenty-million other spices, to greet him, kissing him on the cheek, “meeting that bad?” Bucky wrapped his arms around his middle, kissing him on the forehead when he leaned into him, “Am I that obvious?” he murmured, voice stupidly soft. The things Steve did to him, damn.

Steve laughed into his chest and tipped his head up to look at him, “You have residual annoyed-scowl on your face.”

Bucky raised his eyebrows, “Really, where?” he teased, running his hands up and down Steve's back. Steve leaned up and kissed his nose, “Here,” he kissed his cheek, “some here,” his temple, “little left here,” his jaw, “here.”

“All done?”

“Nah,” Steve leaned up and kissed his solidly on the lips, with a hint of tongue, he tasted of mango cola. “Done,” he said, in a whisper, when they pulled away, running his fingers through Bucky’s hair, pushing back his kinda quiff thing, one of the first things he’d done after he’d escaped off the helicarrier (with help from Shuri, of course) that was meant to take him from Wakanda to America, was get a haircut. He’d fucking hated the long hair.

“Mmm, you cooked?” he asked Steve when he felt he was done messing up his quiff.

“Yup,” he nodded, tugging Bucky into the kitchen, “stir-fry.”

“I knew there’s a reason I fell in love with you,” Bucky said, grinning as he let himself be dragged by Steve. They both knew very well that Bucky could easily just, not, and break out of his hold, he had at least half a foot, maybe eighty pounds and some bastardized version of Erskine’s super-soldier serum on him. But he let himself be dragged into the kitchen, because it was Steve.

He plated up the noodles and put them on the table, next to glasses of wine, Bucky drew him in for another kiss and pulled out a chair for him, “Smells amazing, honey,” he drawled, emphasizing his old Brooklyn accent.

Steve saw right through him, “You forget, darlin’ I’m from Brooklyn too,” he teased in a horrific impersonation of his accent.

Bucky laughed at him, “You’re horrible,”

“Aw,” Steve pouted, “I thought you were in love with me?”

“Nah, I’m just in it for the stir-fry,” he said, grinning.

“Dick.”

“Love you too, baby.”

Steve’s phone buzzed and lit up with a message, he flicked it open with his thumb, fork dangling in his mouth. Which was promptly thrown out of his mouth, landing just in front of Bucky’s plate. “Hey, hey, you ok?” Bucky asked, concerned, leaning over to rub his shoulder, comfortingly. Steve looked up at him, holding back… laughter?

“Some guy’s trying to commission me for a piece of all the Avengers,” he said once his shoulders have stopped shaking.

“Why’s that so funny?” Bucky asked, smiling, even his not-laugh was infectious.

“‘Cause he’s saying’ that he’ll pay a million dollars for it. For every piece.” He burst out laughing again. And at Bucky’s confused face, he told him that it was definitely a scam, “Bucky, I’m not, like Jack Kirby or Frank Miller y’know, I have a Tumblr and a comic run. As in one.”

Bucky raised his eyebrows, holding off telling him that he’s wrong, he had a very rudimentary idea who those people were, and Steve knew that, “Who was the person? Maybe they’re like a billionaire or something.”

Steve shrugged, “Probably not, their users’ just ‘youknowwhoiam’” he said, showing Bucky the message.

His phone buzzed again, another commission, but this time from someone he knew, “Shuri wants a commission of T’Challa falling over,” he said to Bucky, showing him the video of the King of Wakanda and the Black Panther, falling over.

“Do it,” Bucky said, laughing.

Steve put his phone down and grinned at Bucky, “Yeah, yeah I will.”

“Oh, by the way,” Bucky said, suddenly, swallowing his mouthful of noodles quickly, “Stark asked me to move into his frat house, again.”

“Y’ thinkin’ of leavin’ me, soldier?” Steve teased, hooking his foot around Bucky’s ankle.

Bucky smiled at him, “Nah, but I said that I have a roommate,” he didn't want Steve to think that he was ashamed of him or something, he was so, so happy to live in a time and a country where a man with another man wasn't cause for a trial and a jail cell, or fear of being beat up in a nondescript alleyway. He told Steve all of this, months ago, when Steve asked if he was ok telling his colleagues about them.

“Why?” Steve asked, curious, not judging him.

“Well, y’know back in the dark, dark ages,” Bucky began, leaning forwards to take Steve’s hand across the table, “we used to say ‘roommate’ instead’a boyfriend, ‘cause, y’know.”

“Dark ages, yeah,” Steve murmured, playing with Bucky’s fingers, “so it was, what, a reflex?”

“Yeah, something like that, I don't know how much I want them knowing so much about me,” Bucky said, quietly, he knew that he should trust them, but, he was still the new guy. Steve smiled at him and kissed his cheek, “That’s ok, it’s fine if you don’t wanna tell them, take as long as you need.”

He did not deserve him. At all. He’s been so, so patient with him, with his goddamn laundry list of issues and problems. Fucking hell he loved him.

“So, James, Jamesy, who is this ‘roommate’ of yours?” Tony asked, shooting at a doombot. “Not the time, Stark,” The Soldier growled, tearing the head off a bot.

“You hurt?” Steve asked, as soon as he came home. Bucky smiled tiredly at him, pulling him into a hug, the battle was too close to the offices where Steve had a meeting today. Steve got that and let Bucky hold him for as long as he needed.

“Nah,” he said, finally, into Steve’s hair, “but, Stark asked me about you,” he pulled away to kiss him lightly on the cheek. “What’d you say?” he asked, smiling up at him, leaning into his touch as he pushed his fringe off his face. Bucky gave him a look, “He asked in the middle of destroying a doombot.”

“Who’s your roommate, Soldier?” Natasha asked, carefully tilting her head to the side in a crafted curiosity and tipping her chin up in a challenge, hoping that the soft lighting of the bar and the intimate setting, with only the team and a couple close friends, would help him open up. The Soldier smirked, almost smiled condescendingly, “Nice try Romanoff.”

“Romanoff asked about you today,” Bucky said, over dinner, “she did the whole, ‘you can trust me, this is a safe-space’ bullshit, soft lighting and all.” Steve hummed, taking a sip of cola, “Very homely, what’d you tell her?” “A fairly PG version of ‘fuck off’” Bucky said, stealing Steve’s drink.

“Hey Frosty, who’s the roommate?” Clint asked, wiping a towel across the back of his neck and draining half a water bottle. He looked over his shoulder at Clint, rubbing a hand through his hair, “Beat it, Legolas.” Legolas? Who’d taught him that?

“Barton asked about my mysterious roommate today,” Bucky said, apropos of absolutely nothing, after his… uh, second work out of the day, after a couple minutes of silence. Steve rolled on top of Bucky, and pressed kissed to his neck, “Yeah, what’d you say?” Bucky hummed and ran a hand down his back, “Called ‘im ‘Legolas’,” he said, smiling proudly. Steve laughed, “You're cute when you think you're being funny.”

“So, James,” Bruce started, pushing a cup of green tea towards him, “you’ve made some friends outside of the team right?” “What the fuck is this, it tastes of grass.”

“Banner today,” Bucky said, when Steve asked how his day went. “You should call your teammates by their first names,” Steve suggested, knowing what Bucky was on about. He just grunted in response, “Nah, they all call me ‘James’ or ‘Barnes’ or ‘Soldier’ or something cold ‘n ice-y, they think they’re funny.”

“Who’s this roommate of yours, Cable?” Sam asked, spinning around in his chair and drumming his fingers on the table. “Keep writing your notes, Freedom Pigeon.”

“Freedom Pigeon,” Bucky grunted, flopping down on Steve’s lap, narrowly missing poking his eye out Joker-style, humming happily when he ran his hands through his hair. “You need a haircut,” he commented, pushing his hair back and letting it flop over his face. He looked younger, like that, more innocent, with longer hair, flopping all over his forehead.

Bucky just hummed sliding his eyes shut, “Would you be ok, if I said something about us?” he asked, nervous, even though they had talked about it before, and Steve was a hundred percent on-board with it, but he wanted to make sure.

Steve bent down and kissed his forehead, “You know I would, Buck.”

“Uh, hey, Mr. Barnes, everyone’s talking about this roommat-” a weedy SHIELD lackey asked, just as he was about to leave the building for the day “Do I know you?” He interrupted, he couldn't wait to get home, to get back to Steve. The lackey locked down at his shoes, “Mr. Stark gave me a hundred dollars to ask.” He rolled his eyes, “Tell him to try harder.”

“Some SHIELD lackey today,” Bucky said, tracing lines on Steve’s hip. “Stark’s really determined, huh,” Steve said, pressing closer to Bucky and wrapping an arm around his neck, “you should troll him or something,” he continued in a mumble, fighting off a yawn. Bucky pulled away a little, considering Steve and giving him a once-over. Steve mumbled out a ‘y’ like what y’ see?’ drifting into unconsciousness.

“You ok with bein’ called a twink?” Bucky murmured, wrapping his arms around his waist and kissing his shoulder. “Yup, ‘m your twink,” he giggled, face falling into Bucky’s shoulder A warm feeling spread throughout his chest, at Steve being his, and at him being all giggly and relaxed and falling asleep, so, so vulnerable in a way no-one would have been, when he was still under Hydra’s brainwashing. He was so in love with him, so, so much.

“So, uh, Mr. Winter, sir, or, uh, do you prefer Mr. Soldier? Uh, Mr. Stark asked me to uh, ask, who’s your roommate?” Stark’s spider-son asked fiddling with a pen, that had ‘Stark Industries’ emblazoned on the side He was fairly sure Stark didn’t make pens. Recorder, maybe transmitter. Huh.

He reached over, plucked the pen out of his hands and spoke into the near-invisible mic, “My roommate is an artist twink with whom I am in a homosexual relationship and I fuck daily.” He pressed the pen back into the kid’s hands and patted his shoulder, “Good talk, spider-kid.”

He turned around and walked straight out of the door, leaving Peter bright red and sputtering, whispering into the mic, “I think he wants you to stop asking.”

#stucky #stevebucky #steve rogers #bucky barnes #tony stark #peter parker #my writing #my fic #stucky fanfic #stucky fic #irondad #clint barton #sam wilson #natasha romanoff #shrinkyclinks #shrinkyclinks roommate au

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daresplaining · 8 years ago

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hey, thanks for the awesome answer on matt's hero allies! :D turning it around a bit -- what about the heroes matt has clashed with? the most obvious are frank (for a given amount of hero) and tony (superior iron man, i am looking at you, but there's of course civil war), but what about any others with whom he's butted heads?

No problem!

Superheroes fighting superheroes is one of the most popular comics tropes, so Matt has fought a whole bunch of good guys over the course of his career. We’re not including everyone here, but we’ll try to cover all of the usual suspects. And since you didn’t specify whether you wanted to hear about ideological disagreements or physical ones, we’ll talk about both!

Namor

Namor the Sub-Mariner is one of those people who Matt has fought on only a few occasions, and always due to some key misunderstanding. Namor has nothing against Matt, but he doesn’t have much respect for surface-dwellers as a group and doesn’t hesitate to use force to get his points across. And Matt, though outmatched by the super-strong Namor in every way, is still willing to try and fight him when he starts acting like a threat. Though these two don’t run into each other that often, Namor gets a spot among Matt’s notable opponents because of his appearance in the beautifully badass Daredevil vol. 1 #7 (excerpted below). In this early Daredevil story, Namor tries to hire Nelson and Murdock to sue the human race for denying Atlantis access to the surface world. When the legal system fails to help him, he turns violent. Matt tries to keep him from hurting anyone, and despite getting the everloving snot beaten out of him, he refuses to stop fighting– earning Namor’s respect in the process. (Netflix show fans, this issue is the hallway fight of Daredevil comics. Read it.) Of course, this beatdown doesn’t prevent Matt from trying to fight Namor again, 70 issues later– with similar results. You have to admire his tenacity.

Caption: “But, once again, the power of the Sub-Mariner is greater than any could suppose, and it is he who recovers first– while the Man Without Fear, despite his insulated gloves– lies weak, and dazed, and helpless…! Yet, how can one measure the limitless courage of a fellow human? Although on the brink of unconsciousness– although racked with pain and fatigue– still the sightless crusader reaches out–!”

Matt: “Come back! You– you mustn’t fight the others–! They’re innocent– mustn’t be harmed– mustn’t–!”

Namor: “I have fought the Fantastic Four, the Avengers, and other super-powered humans, but none has been more courageous than he, the most vulnerable of all!”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #7 by Stan Lee, Wally Wood, and Artie Simek]

Elektra

Conflict is, of course, at the heart of Matt’s relationship with Elektra. He does team up with her quite a bit, but always with the uncomfortable awareness of her willingness to kill. In the beginning, when they first reunited as adults, this was a huge factor in their interactions, with Matt wanting to reconnect with Elektra yet horrified by her chosen profession. Elektra, for her part, tends to do most of her killing when Matt is not around, and she has gone through several phases of her life (lives?) where she has tried to weed out that aspect of her morality. But these experimentations with a no-killing code have never been permanent, and by this point Matt has acknowledged that there’s nothing he can do to change that. As a result, they don’t tend to argue about it as much as they used to.

Matt: “You’re going to jail, Elektra. You’re a killer… a cold-blooded assassin… and I’m taking… you… in…”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #175 by Frank Miller, Klaus Janson, and Christie Scheele]

Wade Wilson

Everything about Deadpool, from his banter to his body odor (not to mention his casual approach to murder), is offensive to Matt, meaning that even when they’re not outright physically fighting, they are almost always at odds. They do actually team up from time to time, but Matt never enjoys it. Deadpool’s feelings toward Matt aren’t quite as clear, but he spends a lot of time complaining about Matt’s sense of humor– which always vanishes the moment he comes into contact with Wade. (Yes, Deadpool writers, Matt does actually have a sense of humor.)

Matt: “You’re a complete lunatic. You hear voices. You think people are always watching you…”

Wade: “Hi, kettle! Meet black! You dated Typhoid Mary and used to run the Hand.”

[Deadpool (2012) #11 by Brian Posehn, Gerry Duggan, and Mike Hawthorne]

Carlos LaMuerto

Carlos (AKA Black Tarantula) is another antihero-type figure with whom Matt occasionally clashes on issues of morality. The two meet in jail, where they develop a tenuous alliance that leads to Matt helping Carlos find work once he gets paroled. Much later, Carlos becomes an invaluable friend during Matt’s attempt to take control of the Hand. But in the beginning they have their disagreements. Carlos wants to be a hero and to make his neighborhood safer for those who live there, but with his criminal background and intimate knowledge of the street gangs he finds himself fighting, he is aware that sometimes effective solutions require breaking a few laws. Matt respects the legal system far too much to be a fan of this approach– despite the fact that he himself breaks laws every day as Daredevil.

Carlos: “You gotta be kidding me, man. I have needs, Murdock… my neighborhood has needs. You wanna hand this over to some crooked cops… when it could be doing some good?”

Matt: “Not our call, Carlos… we’re not here to play Robin Hood.”

[Daredevil vol. 2 Annual #1 by Ed Brubaker, Leandro Fernandez, and June Chung]

Clint Barton

Matt and Hawkeye rarely interact on-panel, but they do have one big fight in Daredevil vol. 1 #99– which just so happens to be one of the greatest DD issues of all time, so we had to put him on the list.

Matt: “Hey, now– cool it, William Tell. Can’t you see you’re upsetting the lady?

Clint: “My eyes are as good as yours, fearless.”

Matt: “I’ll just bet they are.”

(Oooooooooooooh.)

[Daredevil and the Black Widow vol. 1 #99 by Steve Gerber, Sam Kweskin, and Stan Goldberg]

Peter Parker

As we discussed in the other post, Matt and Peter are really good friends, but writers sure do love having them fight! Most of their battles are good old fashioned supervillain manipulation (their very first encounter involves the Ringmaster mind controlling Peter into fighting Matt), but others are ideological and personal. Like all close friends, they have their squabbles. Peter, no matter his age, tends to feel like a kid among the older superheroes, and he hates feeling like he is being talked down to or ignored. He and Matt have clashed before on the topics of crimefighting, justice, and on how best to deal with big-time villains like the Kingpin.

Peter: “Y’know, I used to like you… respect you! But, now you’re pulling high school pranks and standing up for creeps like Kingpin!”

Matt: “[…] What bothers me is, the man is right! Kingpin is evil… he shouldn’t be allowed back in New York! I wish things were that simple!”

[Amazing Spider-Man vol. 1 #287 by Jim Owsley, Erik Larsen, and Julianna Ferriter]

Steve Rogers

Matt doesn’t fight Steve as often as he fights Peter, but it’s a pretty close thing. Cap is another character the writers seem to love flinging at Matt, and vice versa. They don’t dislike each other (they actually like each other quite a bit), and their fights are always circumstantial– usually the result of mind control or some other artificial judgement impairment.

Steve: “So the little devil wants to fight, eh? Then let’s!”

Matt: “Whew! Nearly took my head off! As if I needed any more evidence that Cap’s gone nuts!”

[Captain America vol. 1 #375 by Mark Gruenwald, Ron Lim, and Steve Buccellato]

The big exception is their fight at the beginning of Daredevil vol. 3, in which Cap tries to take Matt to task for his actions during “Shadowland”.

Steve: “I gave you time to turn yourself in. My patience is up.”

[Daredevil vol. 3 #2 by Mark Waid, Paolo Rivera, and Javier Rodriguez]

Matt picks up on the fact that Steve is on edge here because of unrelated personal problems, but he also does genuinely have a good reason for going after Matt. Demonic possession notwithstanding, Matt turned into a city-wide menace during “Shadowland”, and we’re of the opinion that there wasn’t nearly enough of this kind of fallout from it.

The Punisher

Frank is, as you mention, a longtime frenemy of Matt’s, and we’ve talked a lot already on this blog about their fights. But we also wanted to highlight Matt’s great ideological clash with another Punisher: Rachel Cole-Alves. Rachel, a Marine whose husband is gunned down on her wedding day, teams up with Frank to enact her own retribution against the criminals responsible. As he has for years with Frank, Matt tries to get her to see that there are other ways to deal with loss. Like Frank, she is dismissive of Matt’s advice, and Matt is not a fan of her perspective on loss-fueled retribution.

Rachel: “You know what gives me the strength? My loss. We’re alike that way, I imagine. Admit it: nobody who’s a stranger to that particular pain could ever be as driven as us.”

Matt: “…Don’t you ever say that to me ever again. That is a repellent statement. It’s a vomitous insult to every cop– every fireman– every soldier alive who steps up to fight for those who can’t! I am sorry for your loss! But if you genuinely believe that only the death of a loved one can motivate a human being to take up a cause… then get your pathetic, cynical ass out of my way so I can do my job!”

[Daredevil vol. 3 #11 by Mark Waid, Marco Checchetto, and Matt Hollingsworth]

Luke Cage

Matt and Luke are close friends, and they don’t tend to fight much, but we wanted to include him on the list because Luke is one of the primary superheroes who always steps up and speaks out when Matt messes up. His unwillingness to take nonsense from Matt started way back when they first met. Luke is very difficult to impress, and while he does hugely respect Matt, he also holds him to a high standard, and isn’t willing to let him off the hook for perceived errors of judgement.

Luke: “…You could just as easily admit to who and what you are– Because, yo, man, who you are means a lot more to people than you realize. You are an inspiration to handicapped people… and it ain’t got nothin’ to do with your costume and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Be a man! Stand for something more than just a pair of tights. ‘Cuz– what’s going on now? Just don’t want no part of it. This is you, Matt. This is your life. And we both know that every story has a %$#&bag in it. And right now, it’s you.”

[Daredevil vol. 2 #43 by Brian Michael Bendis, Alex Maleev, and Matt Hollingsworth]

Max Coleridge

Max (AKA the Shroud) doesn’t run into Matt nearly as much as you’d expect, given that he’s another of Marvel’s very few blind superheroes, but he is one of Matt’s main antagonists throughout Volume 4. (Note that the term “antagonist” does not mean “bad guy”. It describes any character who is working at cross-purposes with the protagonist.) Max doesn’t have anything against Matt in particular, but his creepy obsession with locating his ex-wife interferes again and again with Matt’s efforts to drive the actual bad guys out of San Francisco. This leads them to continually butt heads.

Matt: “What have you done now, Max? You’re crazy, you know that? Every time I trust you, it bites me. You’ve exhausted my patience.”

[Daredevil vol. 4 #15 by Mark Waid, Chris Samnee, and Matt Wilson]

There’s also an element of territoriality to their clashes. Matt sweeps into San Francisco under a huge spotlight, having just outted himself as Daredevil, and Max feels threatened and overshadowed by his larger-than-life presence in the city.

Max: “I won’t mince words. This is my turf. There’s no room for you in this city. Leave.”

Matt: “…Nice you meet you, too. You might want to dial back the attitude, though. I have a real zero-tolerance policy when it comes to bullies.”

[Daredevil vol. 4 #2 by Mark Waid, Chris Samnee, and Javier Rodriguez]

Natasha Romanov

Natasha is another person who gets the honor of appearing on both lists. We’ve talked before about the combative nature of her relationship with Matt. They are great friends, but their time as partners (professional and romantic) was rife with tension and arguments as they tried to negotiate the power dynamics of their relationship. After the initial honeymoon phase ended, Natasha came to realize that she was being pushed to the side. Matt is a domineering, take-charge kind of person, and he was treating her like a sidekick. Natasha, concerned about what this would do to her image as a crimefighter, and unhappy with being overshadowed and underestimated, was quick to confront Matt whenever he grew too self-centered.

Natasha: “It suddenly struck me, Matt, that for the past few weeks– I’ve been your partner– You never thank me– never accept me for what I am– a person– someone apart from you– someone who acts and reacts for her own reasons– not just for yours! I’ve been your partner, Mr. Murdock– but you haven’t been mine!”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #91 by Gerry Conway, Gene Colan, and Tom Palmer]

This tension eventually led to their break-up, when Natasha decided that she needed some time to herself, and to work independently again. This, it turns out, was a wise choice. They still have the occasional argument, but since they’re no longer living and working in such close proximity, their friendship has been much less turbulent ever since.

Nick Fury/S.H.I.E.L.D.

Matt has always had a chilly relationship with S.H.I.E.L.D. He isn’t a fan of subterfuge (unless he’s the one initiating it, of course), and he and his friends have had a lot of bad experiences with the organization. He doesn’t tend to actively fight them– and he’s actually gone on missions for them a number of times– but he’s also stood in opposition to them, most recently by representing Bruce Banner’s interests while Maria Hill had him on retainer. There’s an alternate universe in which Matt becomes a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent instead of a superhero, but obviously that’s an exception…

Fury: “Get your signatures later, Piercey! You and Dugan clear this room– me an’ the lawyer got to go at it one-on-one!”

Matt: “What happened to that infamous S.H.I.E.L.D. know-all, see-all, colonel? It’s ex-lawyer, nowadays– not that that’s going to save you from seeing me in court! Harassment, assault, kidnapping– I’m going to hit S.H.I.E.L.D. with so many civil and criminal suits you’ll wish you never rebuilt this spook city!”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #298 by D.G. Chichester, Lee Weeks, and Christie Scheele]

Ghost Rider

Matt has never really known what to make of Ghost Rider, but he does know that the whole Penance Stare thing creeps him out, and that he’s not a fan of Ghost Rider’s absolute and unyielding approach to justice. Physically, Matt isn’t much of a match for the spirit of vengeance, but that doesn’t stop him from trying to stand up to him anyway. It never ends well.

Ghost Rider: “Vengeance has been served… but not in the way I had intended… I was attracted to this man because of forces at work far beyond your ken, Daredevil– and in your zeal for so-called “justice,” you prevented me from learning the truth about the murderer you seek when you interrupted the Penance Stare.”

Matt: “His fingers… his fingers are in my mind!”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #372 by Joe Kelly, Ariel Olivetti, and Christie Scheele]

Wolverine

Another in the long list of killers who Matt occasionally teams up with. Their disagreements are pretty standard…

Matt: “But we’re not God, we’re not judges, we’re not killers! He’s almost dead, he’ll probably die! His own fighting will have killed him, not you! Don’t make it you! Don’t do it, Wolverine!”

Logan: “He wants my brand of justice– not yours! Blast! I want to kill him!”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #249 by Ann Nocenti, Rick Leonardi, and Christie Scheele]

…except for that time Wolverine was brainwashed and broke into Matt’s apartment and started insulting him. That was new.

Logan: “Listen to you, Murdock: talking like you’re some kinda superhero– Ever wonder why they didn’t ask you to join their fancy teams, big shot? Ever wonder why you always work alone? ‘Cuz you’re blind. Handicapped. Oughta hear the sick jokes they crack behind your back–”

[Wolverine vol. 3 #24 by Mark Millar, John Romita, Jr., and Paul Mounts]

Himself, that one time

Matt: “This is impossible!”

Stick: “Maybe it is. But that’s not gonna stop those three… impossibilities… from taking you apart!”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #349 by J.M. DeMatteis, Cary Nord, and Christie Scheele]

#Sorry this took literally a million years!#spiralwaves #Daredevil #Matt Murdock #Black Widow #Luke Cage #Elektra Natchios #Spider-Man #Punisher #Shroud #Black Tarantula #...And everyone else #Asks #Commentary

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bruciewayne · 6 years ago

Text

...and they were roomates!!

ao3 (use if ur on mobile kids

more works

steve and bucky are roommates. the avengers do not know this. but now they want to know who bucky's roommate is...

(mostly just domestic fluff, with a side of frustrated tony stark)

aka the shrinkyclinks roomate au

(winter soldier bucky, skinny artist steve)

“Roommate? What do you mean roommate?”

Tony squinted at The Soldier, “No,” he said carefully, the roommate vine playing on a loop in his head - Peter had been so disappointed when he’d found out that Shuri had introduced him to vines, and the subsequent horror that was Gen Z humour, before he could. Tony offhandedly wondered if The Soldier knew what vines were, technically, he could be classed as a millenial. Probably not. He looked over at The Soldier’s whole, demeanor, the Murder Stance™ (a sequel to the Murder Strut™) in full force, topped off with the ever-present scowl (this time, with a flavour of impatience) and decided, that no, The Winter Soldier definitely didn't know what vines were.

The Soldier, without turning around, yelled back, “I told you, I have a roommate.”

Tony turned around and frowned at the rest of the team, “When did he get a roommate?” he muttered, not really expecting an answer.

“His roommate,” growled Fury, from behind him, talking over Tony’s promises to ‘cat-bell’ him, “is none of your business. Why are you all still in my conference room?”

He huffed, “You gotta be paying him more if he has to have a roommate,” he knew New York was expensive, but the guy was a superhero , and he probably had like, seven decades worth of backpay.

“He’s getting paid as much as you are. Get out of my conference room.”

“I don't know how much I’m getting paid,”

“Check your books, and get out of my damn room,”

“But-”

“Out.”

Tony and the rest of the Avengers hightailed it out of there, not wanting to relive that particular day.

It was always so, liberating , when he got home, free from surveillance, although, he wasn't naive, he was pretty sure SHIELD knew he lived here. But that better be the extent of it. He’d made sure that the surveillance and oversight clause in his Avengers papers was very clear. Matt had helped. He’d had enough of the oversight bullshit with Hydra

Steve laughed into his chest and tipped his head up to look at him, “You have residual annoyed-scowl on your face.”

“All done?”

“Mmm, you cooked?” he asked Steve when he felt he was done messing up his quiff.

“Yup,” he nodded, tugging Bucky into the kitchen, “stir-fry.”

“I knew there’s a reason I fell in love with you,” Bucky said, grinning as he let himself he dragged by Steve. They both knew very well that Bucky could easily just, not, and break out of his hold, he had at least half a foot, maybe eighty pounds and some bastardized version of Erskine’s super-soldier serum on him. But he let himself be dragged into the kitchen, because it was Steve.

Steve saw right through him, “You forget, darlin’ I’m from Brooklyn too,” he teased in an horrific impersonation of his accent.

Bucky laughed at him, “You’re horrible,”

“Aw,” Steve pouted, “I thought you were in love with me?”

“Nah, I’m just in it for the stir-fry,” he said, grinning.

“Dick.”

“Love you too, baby.”

“Some guy’s trying to commission me for a peice of all the Avengers,” he said once his shoulders have stopped shaking.

“Why’s that so funny?” Bucky asked, smiling, even his not-laugh was infectious.

Steve shrugged, “Probably not, their users’ just ‘you know who i am’” he said, showing Bucky the message.

“Do it,” Bucky said, laughing.

Steve put his phone down and grinned at Bucky, “Yeah, yeah I will.”

“Oh, by the way,” Bucky said, suddenly, swallowing his mouthful of noodles quickly, “Stark asked me to move into his frat house, again.”

“Y’ thinkin’ of leavin’ me soldier?” Steve teased, hooking his foot around Bucky’s ankle.

Bucky smiled at him, “Nah, but I said that I have roommate,” he didn't want Steve to think that he was ashamed of him or something, he was so, so happy to live in a time and a country where a man with another man wasn't cause for a trial and a jail cell, or fear of being beat up in a nondescript alleyway. He told Steve all of this, months ago, when Steve asked if he was ok telling his colleagues about them.

“Why?” Steve asked, curious, not judging him.

“Well, y’know back in the dark, dark ages,” Bucky began, leaning forwards to take Steve’s hand across the table, “we used to say ‘roommate’ instead’a boyfriend, ‘cause, y’know.”

“Dark ages, yeah,” Steve murmured, playing with Bucky’s fingers, “so it was, what, a reflex?”

He did not deserve him. At all. He’s been so, so patient with him, with his goddamn laundry list of issues and problems.

“So, James, Jamesy, who is this ‘roommate’ of yours?” Tony asked, shooting at a doombot. “Not the time, Stark,” The Soldier growled, tearing the head off a bot.

“Romanoff asked about you today,” Bucky said, over dinner, “she did the whole, ‘you can trust me, this is a safe-space’ bullshit, soft lighting and all.” Steve hummed, taking a sip of cola, “Very homely, what’s you tell her?” “A fairly PG version of ‘fuck off’” Bucky said, stealing Steve’s drink.

“Barton asked about my mysterious roommate today,” Bucky said, apropos of absolutely nothing, after his… uh, second work out of the day. Steve rolled on top of Bucky, and pressed kissed to his neck, “Yeah, what’d you say?” Bucky hummed and ran a hand down his back, “Called ‘im ‘Legolas’,” he said, smiling proudly. Steve laughed, “You're cute when you think you're being funny.”

“So, James,” Bruce started, pushing a cup of green tea towards him, “you’ve made some friends outside of the team right?” “What the fuck is this, it tastes of grass.”

“Who’s this roommate of yours, Cable?” Sam asked, spinning around around in his chair and drumming his fingers on the table. “Keep writing your notes, Freedom Pigeon.”

Steve bent down and kissed his forehead, “You know I would, Buck.”

He turned around and walked straight out of the door, leaving Peter bright red and sputtering, whispering into the mic, “I think he wants you to stop asking.”

#steve rogers #bucky barnes #stevebucky #stucky #stucky fic rec #fic rec #fanfic #my fic #marvel fanfic #marvel

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