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karliesbuzzcut · 4 years ago

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(100) Million Dollar Lawsuit

Intro | part1 | part2 | part3 | part4

We are on the last chapter (for now) and this the most chaotic one. Mainly because it doesn’t follow any kind of chronological order (or logical sense), it’s just Russ going in circles for literal years.

But I’ll try my best to condense it for you, so all you need to do is to keep your seat belt fastened until the aircraft stops completely.

Right after the failed Ari lawsuit, Russ goes back to his one and only love: Taylor Swift 💫 And he has learned a lesson — not a good lesson, mind you, but a lesson: small claims courts won’t take him anywhere. If he really wants to punish women for not complimenting his suit, he will have to file a multi-million dollar federal lawsuit.

But, since denying sex from The Russell isn’t illegal (yet), he had to come at it from a different angle. I’m going to give Russ a chance to explain himself first.

Before you ask: yes, the following was Russell’s response to a woman thanking Taylor for visiting an 8 year-old girl who was very badly burned in an accident.

As I’ve always said, it’s okay if you aren’t fluent in Bullshit. That’s what I’m here for.

You see, Russell views human interactions as a series of transactions: I make a tweet worth liking, you go on a date with me; I take you to Olive Garden, you give me a handie for free; I put on a suit, you hug me and smile; I write you a song and sue you, you produce said song. Whenever women don’t fulfil their side of the deal, he becomes enraged.

But the reason he has such a strong hate-boner for Tay, is because she seemed to also follow his same ‘moral code’. A kid makes a cute video, she visits them at the hospital. A fan writes her a letter inviting her to their wedding, she goes to the wedding. A couple of kids fold 1989 paper cranes for Andrea, Taylor invites them to one of her concerts.

Russ thought “this is a done deal”. He didn’t write that song for Taylor because he particular liked her; he just thought she’d be the most likely artist to produce it — or at least acknowledge his existence.

I mentioned before that Russ wrote a whole-ass book about this. And I think it’s as good a time as any to talk about it. For a short amount of time, Russell chilled out about the ✨100 million dollar lawsuit ✨ but my guess is that he thought his book would get him the same results as a lawsuit? To be fair, the book is fantastic. 5/5, would recommend.

He details the harassment he went through after suing Taylor Swift (the first time). Apparently old ladies at coffee shops would scream at him because he dared to sue Our Queen. A Mexican even pointed a gun at him (it wasn’t me, guys! Just a fellow countryman ❤️) and ordered Russ to drop the lawsuit. Computers at his job caught on literal fire because he was sent very powerful viruses. His friend Ken — who definitely exists! — was hit with a Molotov cocktail. Yep. 2016 was definitely the year people were willing to murder for Taylor Swift.

There’s also this brilliant dream sequence that involves an owl with the voice of Morgan Freeman, and Taylor’s agents guarding a tower in which she’s being held captive.

ALSO ALSO: an entire chapter is called “SHE CHOSE HIM OVER ME”. Taylor Swift chose Joe Alwyn — a man she actually knows — over a man she’s not even aware exists. Women, amiright?

I think Russell would enjoy the Kaylor community to a certain extent. Not the lesbian part, obviously: he doesn’t trust women who don’t want to touch his peen. I just mean the baseless hatred of Joe. Look, I made a little collage of his rants ❤️ tell me if any of this sounds familiar!

You know — I’ve been joking around a lot about Russell just wanting to do the nasty with Taylor. But you know me, I like joking around. In reality Russ only wants what is fair. He wants to put a stop to all these senseless acts of kindness perpetrated by Taylor ‘The Generous’ Swift.

This isn’t about him at all, actually. Shame on you for thinking there’s an ounce of greed in that selfless little body of his. HE’S DOING THIS TO PROTECT THE KIDS WITH CANCER!

There are no ulterior motives here! This isn’t about a date!

THIS IS NOT ABOUT A DATE AT ALL GUYS STOP SAYING THAT.

I think this is my favourite post of his, because– grammatically speaking –he doesn’t specify which of them is wearing the red dress. And that sends me every goddamn time.

Anyway. The book, as magnificent as it was, got him absolutely nowhere. I know, I can’t believe it either. So he went back to focus on his lawsuit. But apparently not enough, because he didn’t serve her properly..? Now, don’t expect me to understand this, because I am very stupid (so it’s quite a good thing that I haven’t sued anybody for millions of dollars) but something about him sending the lawsuit to her old legal team..? And then trying to force UPS to serve her? I think he even said he was going to serve her in the middle of one of her concerts... but I’m guessing that didn’t go as planned 🤷‍♀️ oops.

Of course, Russie wouldn’t allow such an anticlimactic ending. Can you guess what he did? Please tell me that you can guess what he did. HE MADE ANOTHER SONG 😭❤️

This one is called ‘I Don’t Get You, Taylor Swift’. Another masterpiece that we definitely didn’t deserve 🙌

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This was around April, 2019. By then I was being lured away by Kaylors, so I broke it off with Russ. I know that he filed a 3rd lawsuit against Taylor last year, which is just like the second one but hopefully this time he��ll be able to serve. And listen— I know that sounds like an awful thing to wish on Taylor, but I’d rather have Russell occupied suing a rich woman (who isn’t even going to deal with him), than a poor sex worker in Nevada. I bet TayTay would prefer that too.

Well guys, I’ve mentioned this a few times already, but I really had to be selective with the amount of information I was going to throw at you. I’ve avoided some of the shittier stuff he said or did, because I wanted to keep these posts as lighthearted as possible. I also didn’t touch on many things because they would just derail us. Like for example: one of the few lawsuits he has filed against someone who isn’t a woman, was against the state of Utah. I know, right? He’s trying to singlehandedly legalise prostitution in Utah, and even wrote a book (more like a pamphlet) brilliantly titled ‘Why I'm Making It Legal for Your 18 Year Old Daughter to Get In Bed with a Complete Stranger for Only 500 Bucks: A Short Essay from a Pro Se Litigant who is Challenging the Utah Brothel Bans’.

I copy-pasted that title guys, I swear to god.

The book is very graphic. This one I certainly do not recommend as I still suffer nightmares because of it.

Soren is a character who also had to be cut out — which is a shame because he really tried to be a good christian and help Russell. Not as in “I support you, Russell” but as in “why don’t you take a nap, Russell”. Turns out, even cinnamon rolls have a limit. Russ, of course, blames Taylor Swift for the fact that he’s losing his friends. I’m not joking — it’s an article in his lawsuit:

Greer has lost family relationships, friend connections and business connections because of the trauma of Taylor Swift. His family tells him to "get over it," resulting in shouting matches and strained relationships. Greer's friends get annoyed by his focusing on the trauma of it, when nobody knows the pain of getting rejected by a public figure — twice — and the fallout that has resulted from it.

Russell embodies that comic/meme of the little guy who puts a stick in his bicycle’s wheels and then blames Taylor Swift when he inevitably falls.

Sooooo...

Maybe someday I’ll write a post about Russ’ latest antics. I know he still posts stupid stuff on Facebook, which he later deletes. He shined especially bright at the peak of the BLM movement. He also plead guilty to electronic communications harassment— did you see that conviction coming? Yes, yes you did 😌

Regarding Taylor, I read that Russ knew someone who knew Todrick Hall — and Russ sent him a song and video for Taylor. All he got back was a Cease and Desist letter. But I’d have to do a bit of digging to get the details. I was already so overwhelmed with organising the information I was previously aware of, that I decided to leave the newer stuff for another time. You know, once I’ve had some time to inform myself... as well as a really long shower.

Since I left so much shit out, I’ll be taking questions if you have any. And if you can muster the courage to ask them. I’m weirdly proud of being some kind of Russell encyclopaedia. I might not have much going for me...

There’s no ‘but’ — that was the complete statement.

Before I go, I wanted to add this screenshot. I absolutely love it because it summarises ✨The Russell Experience✨. Russ wants Taylor to know pain, poverty and punishment. But when asked “why?” his answer is just “oh, I was ignored lol”

*none of the screenshots are mine

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softbiker · 5 years ago

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Steve Rogers Oneshot

Warnings: mentions of character death, cursing, haunting, spooky stuff, angst

Word count: 7.1k

Summary: Steve Rogers is a man out of time. He knows more ghosts than people. One of his ghosts has come home.

A/N: This is waaaay longer than I normally write, but I just wanted to do it justice. This is my submission for @barnesrogersvstheworld AYAOTD writing challenge! Sort of an Endgame AU, also features an appearance from a rather obscure Marvel comics character. The prompt I had was “Don’t look behind you.” - it’s highlighted in bold. This is also really sad. I’m sorry for that...but please let me know what you think!

His tastes have changed.

Most people wouldn’t have known that - wouldn’t have seen anything abnormal about a 100+ year old man reaching for minute oatmeal and Folgers at the grocery store. There had been a few articles, before, in health or men’s interest magazines, about the ‘Super Soldier Diet’. They were much more colorful than this - full of sugary cereals and peanut butter and seasonal frappuccinos. The articles always ended with reminders that a normal human should reach for more nutritious foods.

Steve pulls his oats - plain, made with water, no sweetener - from the microwave, and stirs just a little. Not thick enough; he replaces the bowl and adds another 30 seconds to the microwave timer. On the counter, the Mr. Coffee drips away, slowly filling the pot.

He eats quietly, perched on a stool at the island; he never uses the table anymore. A few news highlights appear in the notifications on his phone, and he scrolls through them, eyes scanning as he spoons his tasteless breakfast into his mouth.

New York Nears Completion of Relocation Program he reads, letting his thumb swipe down to read more of the article.

“Almost three years after the globally devastating event in which Earth’s population was reduced by half, the people of New York City are finally seeing a light at the end of the tunnel in their relocation efforts for residents whose homes were damaged or destroyed in the aftermath of the Decimation. The project, one of the last proposals by Tony Stark before his retirement from the Department of Damage Control, is expected to end-”

He closes his phone.

**********

There are three support group meetings that he attends each week - two as a leader, one as a participant.

“You should come, Nat.” He’s a broken record, but he just keeps spinning. Like the planet, like the solar system. If he falls out of orbit- “Just once. You might be surprised…”

“Some of us still have jobs, Steve.” She raises a still perfect eyebrow, now back to its natural red. He finds a little comfort in that.

“They’re not mutually exclusive.”

“Maybe not. But don’t wait up for me.”

The Tuesday meeting is the hardest, though it was the first one he ever lead. It caters to a specific group, a group that looks to him because...well, because he lost what they lost. He wonders if they know, if they realize, that it’s all his fault.

“Jackie was...she was my rock, you know?” The new woman, Elsie, sniffs as she continues. “We went through a lot together, and I remember thinking all that time ‘God, what would I do without her?’ And now I know the answer - spiral and-and become an alcoholic.”

“You can’t blame yourself for all of that.” Steve shakes his head. “There was so much more going on - the world was practically in flames, and you were trying to cope. What matters is that you’re here now, trying to get better.”

Elsie is nodding, accepting a tissue from the man sitting next to her. She gives a shaky little smile and settles back in her chair, done sharing for now. Steve glances around the circle, waiting for someone else to speak up.

It was such an odd reversal for him, especially at first. When he first wandered into one of Sam’s support group meetings, he had felt out of place and alone - and that feeling was exactly why he belonged in a place like that. Sam could see it. It was one of his gifts; he was better at reading people than anyone Steve knew, except maybe Natasha. Even when Bucky came along, and Sam played the tough act, he could see all of that fear and pain, and knew exactly what to do with it. Over the years they were in hiding, Sam would secretly reach out to Bucky - during their visits in Wakanda, Steve found the two of them sitting at the lake behind Bucky’s hut and talking, low and intense.

“You know, sometimes-” It’s a man on the opposite side of the circle, dark-skinned with a greying beard. “I don’t know about all of you, but sometimes...I wonder if they can see us. If they know what we’re doing. Does that make any sense?”

He gets a few nods and murmurs from the group, so he goes on.

“I mean, after my old man died, my mom used to say he was watching over me.” He swallows thickly. “She was on her own, tucking a 9-year-old boy in at night, and telling me that Daddy could see me from heaven, that he was looking out for me. And I just think....well, I wanna know - where are they? Are they in heaven? Is that even possible?”

He turns to Steve, several of the people in the circle do. It’s always like this - whenever the sessions turn to specific questions or musings about what happened, they look to him. Because shouldn’t he know? He had lead them, he failed them, he was there when their lives went up in dust.

“Well, I don’t think I’m qualified to offer religious advice,” he starts with a rueful smile. “And, from everything I’ve seen, I don’t think we even know what’s possible. All I know is, we can’t live in the past...even if they see us, wherever they are, we have to accept that they’re really...gone.” He crossed his arms. “They’re not here with us anymore.”

The group has gone quiet, reflective. Most are staring at their hands rather than him, each lost in their own haze of memory and ashes. He wishes he could offer them more, but he knows grief like this, and Steve Rogers is honest to a fault - he won’t lie, even for the sake of comfort.

“We’re on our own now.”

**********

He goes for runs alone now.

No Bucky to keep up with him, pushing the pace and trying to trip him. No Sam to complain about his hamstrings and insist on coffee afterwards. Not even music on those weird tiny headphones she had gotten him. Just his sneakers and pavement and the sound of his own breath. Sometimes he hated that - how he never got winded anymore, never sounded hurt and tired, the way he would wheeze through his asthma attacks with Bucky holding him up and reminding him how to pull in air. The machine of his body was too efficient for that.

In his apartment, he takes short showers, cold and fast, like in the Army. The soap is blue, with a generic smell that is clean and reminds him of nothing. He turns and tilts his head back under the spray, allowing a few more seconds to rinse and-

He nearly jumps when a burst of heat runs down his back.

The water has suddenly turned hot, a steamy, balmy, sultry hot that turns his soft Irish skin pink. He had never had this problem with his showers before - never run out of cold water certainly. Maybe something was wrong with the…

When he turned around, he saw the hot water knob turning slowly clockwise, centimeter by centimeter, untouched.

He shut off the water and got out.

**********

“I’m gonna have to call a plumber sometime.”

“Oh yeah? I thought all you old guys were handymen.”

“Ha ha.” He watches Nat scoop some spaghetti into bowls for the two of them. “I was the artist type. Not really handy around the house.”

“Guess that means Barnes was wearing the pants?” She’s smirking, and he feels like he’s seeing the real Nat again, so he goes along with the joke.

“How could he not? Who’s gonna let a 90-pound asthmatic wear the pants?”

“So what’s wrong with your plumbing?” Nat peeks over the fridge door as she grabs some parmesan and a bottle of wine. Steve, under strict orders not to help, is watching from the kitchen table.

“It’s my shower, something happened the other day. The water turned hot while I was in the middle of showering, even though I had it turned cold.”

“Hm. Weird.”

Steve comes out here at least once a month, or as often as he can. He sees the way that Natasha would rather slip into her work, lose herself in the business of holding the pieces of the world together, let go of her own life. The pantry, open and visible from where he’s sitting, is stocked with the bare minimum dry goods and canned foods; the fridge isn’t much better. He’s seen her on missions, seen her at home in her mismatched socks; he knows that she’d barely feed herself, surviving on a sandwich a day, if the thought or the hunger struck her. So he comes and threatens to cook and she saves the compound from being burned down by making a meal for the two of them.

It’s a far cry from normal. From pizza nights with Sam and Wanda at the compound, the two of them taking turns introducing Steve to movies he missed - all the “classics” he hadn’t heard of. They were missing their monthly family dinners, too; Tony always made room in his schedule to attend, dragging Pepper along from the office, and Steve sat at the head of their long dining table watching this strange, funny little family he had share and eat and laugh with each other.

Now he sits across from Natasha at a table otherwise occupied by her scattered files and reports, a pair of pointe shoes laying in the chair next to her. He didn’t come often enough to expect her to clean for him. She had enough on her plate.

“You know, I was talking to Carol last week,” Nat says, twirling her pasta around her fork. “And she said she might make it to visit us next month. It’ll depend on that trafficking case she was working in the Pegasus galaxy.” She shrugs a little.

“That’s good.” Steve chews, sips his wine. “It would be nice to see her.”

They don’t talk much throughout their meal; there isn’t much new to share. Through the floor-to-ceiling windows along the wall of the compound, Steve watches the early sunset fall over the grounds, shadows reaching and reaching, as quiet as it was empty.

**********

Sometimes, sometimes, when he’s feeling more stupid than usual, he opens the drawer.

That drawer. The lower one in his bedside table. With her box inside.

The box isn’t really anything special - just plain black, with her name written on the top. He got it at the suggestion of the team’s - his - therapist, Dr. Rajan. She recommended that putting some things away, rather than leaving them around his room, might help him move on, realize that his life had changed. He thought about putting the compass in the box, too, but it felt wrong. She wouldn’t want that in there. Somehow it mostly ends up in his pocket, and he stares at it from time to time, at the picture inside, thinking about words like should have and what if.

He’s staring at the drawer now, remembering the night before, when he thought about getting the box after he shuffled in from support group. When he was halfway through his flask of that Asgardian shit he kept under the bed. Steve had shuffled out of his clothes and fallen asleep in his underwear instead, flask still clutched in his hand, just sober enough to turn down the bad idea.

So why was the drawer open?

**********

“Have you thought about getting back out there? Dating again?”

His laugh is humorless.

“Doc, come on. I think we both know I’m not the type.”

“All we know is that you’re a serial monogamist.” She smiles. “And a very eligible one.”

“Sure, but…” Steve pauses, rubbing his palms against his jeans. He looks around the office, trying to find something to focus on. “I feel lucky...really lucky, to have had the kind of love I got. I mean, I never really expected to have it, not after I woke up in this century. And then, with her, it just sort of happened so naturally...well, lightning never strikes twice, as the saying goes.”

“It seems like, for you at least, it did,” Dr. Rajan raises her brows. “Two great loves in one lifetime? More rare than lightning.”

He runs a hand through his hair, still long on the top.

“I-I guess so. But it won’t strike a third time.”

“Because you’re not going to give it a chance?”

“You know me too well, doc.” His smile is apologetic, kind.

**********

At night, he sweats through dreams of her. His legs tangle in sheets where they used to twist and curl around her. The pillows smell only of him, his blue generic soap, but in his mind, locked somewhere far and sweet, her scent fills the air. Fills him up until he tastes it.

He tastes her, too, in dreams; under him, around him, pressed close in that intimate haze only lovers can know. Her lips chase his and smile into his mouth, following the curve of his jaw as he tucks his own face into her neck. It’s in his veins now, her smell and taste, ripe and alive on his tongue and oh, he’s swimming in it. She sighs, blissful, and sinks her teeth into that spot at the base of his throat-

Bedsheets fly off him as he bolts upright in bed, chest heaving, the sweat rolling in little beads down his temple. The smell is fading, drifting away from the room even as he tries to hold on to it; she was here, right here, and it had all felt so real, having her in his arms again. But now he’s wading back to consciousness, unwillingly, the tide of his dream pulling away from the shore and tugging at his ankles, carrying her with it. He wants to drift out to sea on it, drown in it, never resurface in this half-empty world.

Always so dramatic, Rogers.

Something nags at the corner of his eye, and he turns to the bedside table. In the pre-dawn light of the window, he can see the second drawer open. Her box is pulled forward to the front of the drawer with its lid propped up, asking, begging to be seen. He feels himself almost chasing the tide, diving back in as he leans over the side of his bed…

He slams the drawer shut.

Steve blows a harsh breath past his lips and swings his legs out of bed, tugging the sheet from between his thighs. His bare feet brush the cold wood and he arches up on his toes, tight muscles protesting the stretch. Palms scrub at his heavy eyes, brushing away what he can of his sleep. He has no plans to go back to bed, not now. He’ll just get an early start on his run. Maybe put in a few extra miles. He runs a hand through his hair, fingernails scratching absently at his scalp.

Stumbling into the bathroom, he turns the cold water tap in the sink and splashes his face a few times, feeling the two-day stubble on his cheeks. The shave can wait until after his run, he thinks. He stands straighter and reaches for the towel next to the sink, patting his face dry - he leaves his eyes closed, buried in the cotton for a moment before meeting his own gaze in the mirror. Immediately his eyes are drawn down to - what the hell is that?

At the base of his neck, just where it meets his shoulder, is a small red mark. A love bite. He presses it with a finger and hisses at the tenderness of the skin. Unbidden, the wave of his dream crashes over him, rolling him under, and he can almost feel her lips again…

The hair on the back of his neck and arms is standing straight up, his body gone cold all over. He thinks, maybe, he should go back to bed after all. Somewhere deep in the back of his mind, he hears his own name. What if...what if she’s waiting for me? He almost turns around, almost looks at the rumpled bed, almost expects her to be in it, rolling over in that tangled mess and smiling past the curve of her shoulder…

He yanks on a hoodie and running pants, toeing into his sneakers without socks, and leaves the apartment unlocked. Hardly knowing it, he clocks 50 miles, the sun high overhead before he can force his legs to stop, even his enhanced muscles starting to twitch. His sweat is still cold.

**********

There’s a memorial. Lots of them, actually.

All the major cities have at least one, and New York has built theirs, unsurprisingly, in Memorial Park. It’s huge, a sprawling garden of sculpture installations covered overhead by a soft white canopy. A retaining wall, approximately 3 feet high, lines the garden beds and holds in the dark rubber mulch, its outer white brick etched with the names of the lost. Even Steve could admit that it was beautiful, and so different from the solemn obelisks and walls of names he had expected when the memorial was announced.

The city had commissioned a team of artists, led by the famous Chihuly, to create blown glass sculptures using...well, as much of the collected ashes of decimated people as they could. “Cremation glass” it was called. The concept was morbid; though symbolically beautiful, most hadn’t imagined a stunning art gallery, more suited to the Met than this mass grave of the unknown.

Steve was there when it was dedicated, as was Tony. He was asked to say a few words, and he did; he has no idea, now, what he read from those cards handed to him by the administrative team. A black suit stretched around his shoulders, no shield in sight, his tie more like a noose as he watched the somber faces of the attendees. Loved ones and friends of people he had failed. A living memorial. Tony stood next to him, year-old wedding band still shining as he crossed his hands in front of him and declined to speak.

There are a few locations he has memorized around the park, the Lost Garden, as it has been named. A blooming blue hydrangea bush, sculpted white flowers and leaves pressed between the green, with the name “James B. Barnes” carved a few inches below. Across from it, red and yellow globes hang from a white tree, the round shadows falling over “Samuel Wilson”. Two rows over, an exploding tower of tangled green and blue spirals, surrounded by bushes, guards the name “Wanda Maximoff”.

Hers is carved neatly - block letters, plain font - into the white brick near the entrance of the memorial. Above it, a cherry blossom tree blooms sweetly, the pink flowers joined by purple and pink glass stems sprouting up from the ground around the trunk of the tree. Soft green bushes hem in the sculpture, as though keeping the glass from growing too far. It’s whimsical, charming. Elegant.

He fucking hates it.

He hates how this is meant to honor her - the vibrancy of her memory, the slyness of her smile, the passion of her love, the ferocity of her anger. She was more solid and real and hard than the delicate stems of glass that stood for her now. It wasn’t even her ashes in there anyway - he knows that for certain. He knows because he felt her drift through his hands under a hot Wakandan sun. He had watched the dust float and settle and knew that all the parts of her he kissed and held were under his feet and in his mouth and Jesus God it made him want to scream.

He doesn’t know whose ashes are here, in the glass above her name. But he wants to smash it. Put a fist through it. Hear that tinkling glass shatter on the ground the way she did. It would only be right.

As he stands there, staring at the falling cherry blossoms scattered around the sculpture, he feels the air go cold around him. His whole body breaks out in goosebumps and the little hairs on the back of his neck start prickling. He shudders, looking around, but no one else is nearby. It’s a late spring day, warm and getting warmer, with the sun beaming through scattered clouds. He shouldn’t be shivering.

The wind picks up, light breeze growing stronger, and the long stalks of glass begin to vibrate. A low hum builds as the wind carves its way between the sculptures, a plaintive, lonely noise that he feels low in his belly.

Steve…

He whips his head around, looking up and down the row, but he’s alone - no one else is here. That whisper, his name, it was so close…

Steeeeve

He’s turning a full circle, looking for a microphone or a drone or something tiny like Scott’s suit.

“Hello? Who’s there?”

Stevie …

A cloud of cherry blossoms billows into his face, making him jump back. The chill sinks through his skin, slips down his spine bone by bone with each breath. His heart is hammering hard and fast. That name, that voice - it’s been three years. They’re gone. It’s not possible. He closes his eyes as he feels a presence close beside him, right at his shoulder, and he knows, he knows if he turns his head she’ll be-

“Captain Rogers? You alright?”

He jumps again, startled, and looks over to see a policeman watching him, eyes wary and concerned. The officer was young, like all of them now - mass recruiting in public services has been going on for a couple of years, with things nearly falling into chaos after...everything. The military, the police, trying to swell their numbers enough with what was left of the population to keep the world in check. Not like the Avengers were doing a very good job.

“Captain?” The young officer asks again, inching a half-step towards Steve. His hand, unconsciously, twitches towards his radio.

“I’m fine - really,” Steve shakes his head and offers a smile. “Everything’s fine. Just...remembering someone.”

The kid nods; Steve wonders if he himself ever looked so young in a uniform.

“I understand.” He’s tugging at his uniform jacket. “My, uh, parents - they’re over there.” He points at a patch of lilies, not far from Wanda. “And my brother.”

“I’m so sorry.”

That’s all he ever says these days. I’m sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Everyone pretends that it’s enough.

He walks the kid - the officer - back to his patrol car, shakes his hand; the boy has to crane his head back to look up at him, and he stares up at Steve like there’s still hope in this world. Steve doesn’t have the heart to tell him.

**********

The chill follows him into the summer. Even with the sun high and New York sweltering with heat, Steve shivers in his apartment, cold biting at him until he aches with it. He cranks the heat on his thermostat, yet still finds a harsh breeze blowing through his apartment somehow. He allows the shower faucet to continue turning hot - blistering hot, the way she liked it - now that this chill won’t let him go.

Despite that, he finds himself staying in more than ever. He was never exactly a social butterfly - Bucky could testify to that. It tumbles him into memory: Bucky, slicked-back hair and spit-shined shoes, a rose tucked into the lapel of his jacket; Bucky, chin thrown back and ready to laugh at the world, an arm around Steve’s shoulders as he drags them on yet another double date. “Ya gotta get out more, Rogers,” he’d say, cigarette tucked behind his ear. “I’m a piss-poor excuse for real company.”

The only people he sees now are Dr. Rajan and the members of his support groups. Occasionally Nat, but she’s been traveling more lately, following the crumbs of Clint’s trail. Their emails are few and far between, containing only the bare bones.

It’s a Friday night - or maybe it’s Saturday, Sunday. He sits on the edge of his bed, turning the little thing over in his hands. The compass stays in his pocket most days. He flips it open, stares at the portrait inside, the one he’s had memorized since ‘43. He could draw it with his eyes closed, probably.

Suddenly, the compass snaps shut, unbidden, in his hand. It shakes, the mechanisms inside rattling violently, and grows hot to the touch. He yelps and it falls from his palm, dropping to the floor between his feet. The skin of his hands is red, scalded, and he flexes his fingers, watching the trinket warily. It lies on the floor, perfectly still.

Behind him, he hears the second drawer of his dresser roll open.

**********

More dreams come to him, sweet ones, and he sinks into them without protest. He falls into his bed at night happily, searching for the smell of her somewhere behind his eyes. She’s always there, always smiling for him, reaching and pulling him further down into their own special hiding place. She’s there in her uniform, in her sweatpants, in his t-shirt, in nothing at all.

“C’mere, Stevie baby,” she nuzzles his nose, and he’s close to tears but he doesn’t know why. Then she’s tugging at his own clothes and he’s not thinking about it at all.

The ache in his throat returns when he wakes empty-handed and alone. Beneath his jaw, a line of hickeys leads down his neck and across his shoulder. His breath puffs in small clouds as he pants and tries not to cry.

**********

“You don’t look so good, Steve.” Nat’s tone is worried, her voice tight. She watches him stare at the wall with a cup of coffee in his massive hands. “Have you been sleeping?”

He nearly chuckles at that.

“A little too much, I think.” He goes quiet then, mouth turning back down, carved sadness in that larger-than-life face.

“I think...God, Nat,” Steve slumps forward, elbows on his knees. “I think I’m losing my mind.”

“Join the club.” She sits down next to him, sliding a soft hand across his back. Her voice is just above a whisper. “We’re all still struggling. You know that. You’ve seen it. Sometimes it feels...it feels like...you’re just holding on by a thread.”

He’s shaking his head before she finishes.

“Have you - do you dream about them? Ever?”

“Of course.”

“No, I mean…” Steve rubs his eyes. “I mean...do the dreams feel...when you wake up, does it feel like it really happened.”

Nat frowns.

“I’m not following you, Steve.”

He sighs, heavy and resigned.

“No, I know. I’m not making any sense.” He leans into her embrace a little. He likes the contact of it. Hasn’t had that in a long time.

“Listen, Nat. I know S.H.I.E.L.D. used to keep a lot of records of...enhanced individuals…”

“Sure. Everyone that pinged on their radar,” she nods. “So, pretty much anyone with abilities.”

“I need to have a look at them.”

“Anything in particular you’re looking for?”

“Yes. But if I told you, you’d have me committed.”

“Yeah, that really makes me want to help you.” She leans her head against his shoulder, fingers squeezing his bicep. Her voice still soft and low. “Tell me what you need.”

**********

They meet in a public place. It’s not hard now, with the world half-dead, to go about their business as though they are two men with nothing to hide. A bright, hot July sun beats on their heads, and Steve adjusts his sunglasses as a bead of sweat slides down his neck. On the street, traffic grumbles along, bikers and street vendors and tourists darting between. The hard metal chair of the café presses into the soft underside of his knees, leaving little dents in his skin.

“It is nice to finally meet you, Captain,” the man across from him smiles. The white symbol on his forehead stands out starkly against his dark skin. “I understand we move in different circles.”

They’re sitting outside a small restaurant in Port-au-Prince, only coffee on the table in front of them. The heat is sweltering, oppressive, different from the New York heat that Steve knows. Part of him wishes they were near the beach, with the wind coming off the ocean. She would have begged him to go to the beach.

“That we do,” Steve raises his eyebrows. “Even with everything that’s happened, aliens, Thanos...things like magic are still...hard to believe.”

“Hm.” Jericho Drumm leans back in his chair, steeples his fingers. “I think you are here because...it’s not so hard anymore, yes?”

He grits his teeth. There are fingernail scratches on his back and they chafe against the sweaty cotton of his shirt.

“You’re a smart man, Jericho,” he sighs. “And I think you might be the only person who can help me.”

Jericho Drumm nods.

“Yes, I think so, too.”

According to the S.H.I.E.L.D. files Steve spent all his free time digging through, there were only a few enhanced individuals with supernatural abilities. And now half of them were gone. Some, like the sorcerer Tony told him about, had managed to stay under the radar for thousands of years. With precious little to go on besides an alias, Steve commandeered a quinjet and packed a bag for Haiti.

“What you are asking me...communication with the spirits…” Jericho shakes his head. “It’s not what you think. Or what it looks like in the movies.”

“Then tell me,” Steve presses, leaning his elbows on the table. His coffee is half full. He can see his reflection in the oily surface of it.

“I’ve served as a houngan for many years; I’ve served as Sorcerer Supreme. In fact, with Stephen Strange gone, they may ask me to serve again. But inviting spirits into this world is a dangerous practice - not white magic.”

“But it can be done?”

Jericho narrows his eyes. The white streak in his hair is bright in the noonday sun.

“When Thanos tore a rift in this world, in this universe,” he speaks slowly, choosing his words with careful consideration. “He tore through the other side as well. The things he’s done affect us all, the living and the dead. It is possible, the things you describe, are caused by this. A ripple effect, if you will. A door not closed.”

“A ripple.”

“Yes. However,” Drumm raises a finger, leaning forward to speak in a low voice. “I will say something else. I may have years of experience with the supernatural, but I studied psychology as well. My time in America was mostly in a university, studying the human mind, how it works…” He pauses for a moment, giving Steve a look that is on the suspicious side of apologetic. “Our minds are powerful. When a person wishes for things, even terrible things, the mind can give them what they seek.”

Steve closes his eyes, jaw tightening.

“Believe me, I know how I sound,” he sighs. “I know. My therapist says the same thing. But if anyone’s going to believe me, it’s you. This is not in my mind.” His fingers are shaking and he curls them into fists. “This is real. She’s...it’s real. It’s her.” Haunting me.

Dr. Drumm nods, sympathetic and quiet. He watches this captain, this legend, the age showing in his young man’s body. With the sunglasses propped up on his head, the dark circles beneath Steve’s puffy eyes are on full display. His shoulders curl in, posture defensive, small. His knee bounces under the table, and his jaw ticks every so often, teeth clicking in his mouth. There is a bruise visible at the base of his neck where the collar of his shirt has shifted to one side.

“Very well, Captain. I will do my best to help you.”

**********

He sits cross-legged on the tile floor of the bathroom, surveying the items in front of him. According to Dr. Drumm, he would need only a few candles, items that belonged to her, a circle of salt to protect himself. Incense, too, burning in the corner, the smell of sage and smoke floating around him. The lights are off, only the flickering candles illuminating the room.

He feels a little silly, setting all of this up. When he was a boy, vampires and werewolves and ghosts were all just stories - hiding under the covers with Bucky and scaring themselves silly. No real monsters hid under his bed. All of that came later.

Under his shirt, the amulet rests against his chest, growing warm with his own body heat.

“If you must do this alone as you insist,” Jericho had said, shaking his head. “Then wear this. Bene gris-gris. It is the best I can do to protect you from dark magic.” His steel grip closed around Steve’s arm. “And this may be a dark thing, Captain. Her coming back to you. It doesn’t feel like white magic.”

Steve had only nodded, his hand closing around the amulet. He was beyond light and dark now, beyond counting costs. He had chased ghosts for so long after he woke up. It’s only right for him to chase her, too.

Here, in the bathroom, toes pressed to cold tile, he digs two more items out of his pockets. Dr. Drumm said to bring something that would ground him to himself, something special. He turns the compass over in his hand, flicks it open, and sets it on the edge of the circle. From the other pocket, he fishes a black velvet box. His fingers twitch, feeling the soft fabric; he doesn’t want to open it. He hasn’t opened it, since he took the ring off their nightstand in Wakanda and put it back in the box. She hadn’t worn it - didn’t like wearing it on missions or in fights. Afraid of scratching it. She had wiggled it off her finger, smiling at him, leaving a kiss on his bearded jaw-

He leaves the box closed for now, and places it in the center next to the other tokens - a photo of her, a necklace with a small silver pendant she used to wear whenever they went on dinner dates, a little jar of seashells from a beach vacation she took in college. All the little things he had packed away in that nightstand drawer. Memories he had put into storage.

Safe inside his little circle, he reaches in his shirt and grabs the amulet tight in his fist. He closes his eyes. Breathes deep the incense and soft curling smoke from his candles.

He says her name softly in the dark.

In his mind, he shifts his awareness down the plane of his body, piece by piece. He learned meditation techniques during his therapy sessions; now he has another use for them. He says her name again.

“I want to speak to you.” He says, voice low, a lover’s intimacy. “I call on your spirit.”

Her name. Her name. Her name.

He’s not sure how long he stays there, curled on the floor, but the chant of her name lulls him into a trance. His eyes are half-open, the candles wavering in front of him, casting long shadows on the walls. He licks his lips, calls her name again.

One by one, the candles snuff out.

He goes quiet. Smoke curls up to his nose, but he can’t see - the only light is coming from underneath the bathroom door. That familiar chill trickles down the back of his neck, raising the hairs. His flesh is covered in goosebumps; his muscles tense up, coiled tight, ready to spring. His tongue lies dry and thick against his teeth.

“Hello?”

Steve?

He sighs her name. “Sweetheart, is that you?”

A cold breeze passes over his face, rumpling his shirt.

“Are you there?”

The compass flies up and smashes against the wall.

Steve…

Her voice is harsher. Sadder.

“Baby, please,” he’s begging now. He can feel how close she is, she’s in the room, he knows it like he knows his own body. Like he knew hers.

For the first 25 years of his life, he lived with asthma - any little trigger could set him aching for air, his lungs betraying their purpose and seizing up on him, his whole body trembling in relief when he managed to pull in oxygen. He feels that ache for her now - acute and sharp as it was the day he first lost her, a physical pain and its cure so close, so close, if she would only let him - let him breathe-

Oh, Steve.

“Honey, I’m here, I’m right here.” He stands in his little circle, spinning around, though he still sees nothing in the darkened bathroom. He feels the tip of his nose go numb in the frigid air, his body shivering slightly.

I’m here, too, Stevie.

“Where, baby? Where are you?” He’s desperate, so desperate. He’s going to cry if she doesn’t-

I’m here. Look.

He feels, thinks he feels, cold fingers brush down his cheek, and he turns. The mirror above the sink is frosted over, he can see it now that his eyes are adjusting to the pale dark, and he stumbles towards it. Pulls a sleeve down over his hand and wipes at the fog, the remains of his body heat melting it away in streaks.

“Oh...oh god.” He grips the edges of the sink.

Hi, baby.

There she is. There she is. Standing right behind him, over his shoulder. His eyes sweep over her face in the mirror, scanning the details he never forgot, not for a moment. Her lips quirk a sad little smile, tilting her head.

You don’t look so good, Rogers.

His laugh comes out as a sob, and he nods. Fingers curl tighter over the edge of the sink because it’s all that’s holding him up right now. In the reflection, he sees her take a step closer to him - feels her presence, her smell is right behind him and if he can just turn and take her in his arms then everything will be alright again…

NO DON’T!

The force of it is loud in his mind, sends him reeling forward against the sink. Her lips are trembling in a soft frown.

Don’t look behind you.

It sounds so soft. So sad. And he knows, knows in the marrow of his bones, that this is it, this is all they can have. This halfway, this inbetween, this ships in the night barely seen as they pass - it’s all he gets. All he has left.

He presses his hand to the cold glass of the mirror, tips of his fingers stroking the image of her face. His chin feels weak, jaw slack, his hip leaning against the sink. She’s crying, too, tears shining against her soft cheeks.

“Where are you? Do you know what’s happening?” He manages to ask. It’s the question, the question everyone would ask of their ghosts. She shakes her head a little.

I...I don’t really know. But I know I’m not with you.

He nods, tries to swallow around the thick lump in his throat.

Wherever I am, I’m not with you. And I miss you, Steve.

“I miss you - God, honey, I miss you so bad-” his breath hitches, and he wonders in the back of his mind if he’s going to have another asthma attack, his first in 70 years. “I-I need you, sweetheart. Jesus Christ, I miss you. I don’t know what I’m doing without you and-and-”

He’s hyperventilating, breaths stuttering in his chest. The hand that’s pressed to the mirror has gone numb with cold but he won’t move it, not if it’s the closest he comes to touching her face. He watches her come closer to him, behind him - her smell fills the room, no smoke, no incense, only her. His teeth are clattering in his mouth even as he tries to grit them together, lungs stuttering and he’s so so cold but he only half feels it; the muscles in his back jump and twitch as he feels her, really feels her, right behind him. And then-

I know, baby. I know.

Her forehead presses between his shaking shoulder blades. Icy hands creep up beneath his shirt, pressing right over his heart. Her arms lock around his ribs and squeeze, squeeze, squeeze - as if she could brand herself there. In the glass, Steve’s lips are blue and his sobbing breaths come out as little frozen clouds. The mirror is starting to frost over again; the goosebumps on his body won’t lie down. His eyes slip closed, tears chilling in their tracks on his cheeks, and he presses his hand over hers at his heart.

I’m right here.

The ache in his chest sharpens, then dulls, slow and familiar. Something he always carries. His breaths are slowing now, the trembling in his muscles calms a little. She traces a frozen circle over his heart.

I’m right here.

He sighs her name before he blacks out.

**********

Natasha watches Steve in his kitchen, her green eyes sharp and narrow. She hasn’t been to his apartment in a long time, but three days of no answered phone calls, texts, or emails and the Black Widow will investigate. He seems...fine. As fine as Steve has been since it all happened, when he went clean-shaven and cropped his hair, like girls do after a break-up. He smiles over his shoulder while stirring the pot in front of him.

“It’s the one thing my ma made sure I knew how to make for myself,” he says. “She knew I’d need this soup every time I got sick.”

“That’s sweet,” she says. And it is, though she’s never heard him mention it before.

They eat on barstools at the island, sharing little bits of conversation, small talk, mission updates. Sound bites of friendship. Still no explanation for his radio silence.

“Can I use your bathroom?” She sighs as he scoots back his stool, scooping up their bowls to take to the sink.

“Of course - you don’t have to ask, Nat.”

She slips down the hall. Doesn’t go to the bathroom - turns right instead.

On the floor of his bedroom, she sees the candles. The circle. The pictures. A little jar of seashells on his nightstand. While they were eating, she had seen something new - a little chain around his neck, the shape of something underneath, suspiciously like a ring.

Natasha leaves without saying a word, maybe hugs him a little tighter at the door.

She won’t begrudge him this.

#steve x reader #steve rogers x reader #steve x y/n #steve x you #AYAOTDchallenge #steve rogers #steve rogers fic #steve rogers imagine

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ms-demeanor · 5 years ago

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people will just be pissed if you tell them they're more capable than they thought

I get it.

They’re tired, they’re feeling worn down and uncreative.

“Just practice” has a lot of the same vibes as “if I can do it anyone can” when a celebrity is talking about weight loss or publishing a book or something.

Of course you can do it, Becky, you had a chef and a trainer and access to all the best gyms in the world! Of course you can do it, Gary, you starred in a Disney movie and went to Yale, it’s not like publishing your book is a risk.

“Anyone can be a better artist if they practice” is a true statement but it feels accusatory, it feels blamey. It feels like someone is saying “you could be a better artist if you just wanted to but you can’t get your shit together even to do this basic thing so you must not want it.”

If art or music or dancing ability is based on an innate talent instead of a learned skill then it’s not your fault that you’re not as good as you want to be. You can’t be blamed for not being better because you can’t help it - you just don’t have the talent.

The thing is, you also can’t be blamed for not having the time or attention or energy to practice. It’s a shitty world and hard work doesn’t always pay off and telling someone who’s working six days a week that they’ll be better at that thing they love if they just work harder is disheartening.

But I think there’s also a strong bias for youth and immediacy in attitudes about artistic talents. People tend to think that artists get good young and that learning a new skill happens fast if you’re talented.

Here’s a little comic I drew in July of 2014:

I was 27 years old when I drew that. I’d graduated from college and I’d broken my spine and I’d gotten married and I’d worked as a barista all the way through school until I got a job at a computer company and I’d been confident that I was a good artist for years by that point. I’d been doing art at least since I was 14, so this was 13 years of unevenly applied practice.

This is a piece of fanart I drew last November. I was 32. I’m still working at the computer company and my commute is 3 hours a day and I have a couple of side gigs and I got a dog and a bunch of family died and my mental health sort of nosedived and my life is kind of a mess. So that’s the difference in five years of unevenly applied practice.

And the thing is, I still make a lot of art that’s “meh” at best!

This is from June. Way lower quality than the Symbrock porn.

It takes FOREVER to get good at something. Literally, it’ll take all the time you have left in the world to be the best you’ll ever be at a skill you practice.

And sometimes it’s frustrating to see people with time to practice and see them being young and skilled and successful. It’s frustrating to want that for yourself and not be able to have it and to be told to “just practice.”

Here’s a video that drives me up the wall:

youtube

I’m so jealous of this woman’s skills. I’d love to play guitar like that. I’m getting better a tiny bit at a time; I’ve been playing for three years now and I can manage to mostly strum in time to a couple of songs. I practice guitar for five or ten minutes at a time once or twice a week. Sometimes I don’t practice for months at a time because life gets in the way.

Rachelf practices guitar for two to three hours a day.

I know to a lot of people my 2014-2018 art improvements look like the kind of skills change that you see in that video but I promise it’s not. It’s tiny. It’s incremental. It’s forgetting to draw for months at a time and starting “100 days of ref” challenges and quitting after a week and trying to do a drawing a day for a year and failing an early January and not completing an inktober for three years running.

It’s never going to be easy, you’re never going to have all the time you want and if you have the time you might not have the motivation and if you have the time and the motivation you might not be able to afford the tools or media you want to use. It’s hard. It’s always hard.

But here’s the thing: playing guitar for twenty minutes every two months is better practice than not playing guitar at all. Drawing something bad and messy and inexpert with cheap tools is better than not drawing anything at all.

If you want to draw you’ll get there. Eventually you’ll be able to draw if you keep trying to. But you have to keep trying for a really long time before you’re any good at it so you might as well start now.

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becky-hardy-performance-blog · 6 years ago

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Final Week

June 18th-19th

The last stretch!

These last two days were our days to run some scenes for the final time and check microphone levels and their tracks, and work together with the full band. During these two days, we realised that we had to change the batteries quite often. This was a cause for concern so we will make sure we have spare batteries off stage during the performances to stop any potential microphone fails on the night.

WWRY- We now have a musical!

You can recognise the characters within the ensemble clearly now

The cheesy musical theatre acting is there within the GaGa kids scene

Killer Queen is the first recognisable musical theatre number- this seems to be the best ensemble number, but they should all be equal

We know our lighting cues and I feel confident knowing where I should be and when within all numbers

Transitions do need some work, along with the band, because there is a lot of dead space waiting for the next scene to happen. During the Under Pressure scene when the tables are being set, the opening of the song will be played by the band to set the tone and feeling of the scene and telling the audience we will be leading into a song soon. As a general note, we need to start speaking our lines as soon as the previous scene is over to keep things smooth running as the audience will get bored waiting.

During I Want It All, we are enjoying ourselves on stage, but the directors have said that we need to make the audience feel uncomfortable. We need a garish, in your face attitude towards this song. As I said,making the audience feel uncomfortable, but a happy uncomfortable because this will remind them what rocking out was like and taking them back to when they went to concerts as a teen. I feel when I take part in this number, I do the same movements all the time and end up feeling bored half way through the song. To improve this I could interact with the other class members more and feed off their energies because the whole number is just about enjoying yourself.

One vision might get cut since the vocals aren’t being done properly, even after all the weeks of rehearsals, I feel people don’t take things seriously. This number will be changed to less people singing at the back and the dancers being the same since it’s such a good dance and it would be a shame to see the hard work be for nothing. I can now say I am confident with the dance since it has been THE HARDEST dance technically for me to learn but I have rehearsed everyday and feel proud that my work has paid off.

The ‘Flash’ scene is a lot funnier since we have added another gag; instead of the audience anticipating the ‘ah ahh’ within the song, we have chosen to scream instead as after all we are being electrocuted. The lighting state also really helps with the tension in this scene; we are having a bright flash and then strobe red lights for when we are being hurt. The band cues are also very good and we are all in sync which helps the integrity of the scene.

We need to always bring more and keep at full energy levels throughout rehearsals to make this such a successful show.

Rock Of Ages-

The opening is good but ti can be so much better. It needs to be bigger and better than the finale of WWRY because we want the audience to feel more energised and keep raising their expectations. For me in the opening, I feel like I need to perform more to the audience because Drew would want as much attention as he could get as he wants to be famous. I need to look at the motions and gestures from famous rock artists for more ideas, e.g. knee slides, clenching the fist and head banging.

We added another gag for comic relief after ‘Sister Christian’; Keeno, being drunk, will walk across stage before slapping Sam/Sherrie and revisit the previous song. Drunk people are always funny and with it being unexpected I feel this will entertain the audience with some lighthearted and relatable comedy.

My line to Sherrie ‘I LOVE YOU’ needs to be an outburst of energy since I have fallen in love so quickly as so many teenagers do in musicals and movies. The feeling behind the motion is very similar to a character I have played before in a monologue, so I need to embody that character (since I feel confident within that character) and act flustered and embarrassed, this is an awkward teen love story.

A small lighting cue for me is during ‘Waiting Fir A Girl’ is to look up to the back wall so I can be seen in the spotlight. This may change my vocals a little because my voice is already under pressure since the key is so low being originally for a male voice, but I will do this in tomorrows rehearsals and see how it changes my performance.

Here I Go Again and Don’t Stop Believing are the biggest numbers in the musical and since not all of the ensemble are singing, it is letting down the cast and is making the lead singers with mics work harder and push their voices, making it unhealthy for them to sing on the show nights. After days of rehearsals you would think people would be professional and want to do the best they can to entertain an audience.

During the argument scene with Sherrie, the line ‘guess the acting is going well’ is a dig at her being a stripper and clearly not an actress as she makes us out to believe. Me gesturing and eyeing up her clothes is making a joke together and once I clock the audience they will understand what is happening, causing us to laugh at each other, sparking the argument. This scene has improved a lot throughout rehearsals and has become more believable and easier to perform. I do fear after a bit it may become stale and the same so we are trying to make it different each time we do it.

A problem the directors have noticed is that the majority of the ensemble seem to save their energy for the last number since it’s very energetic. The problem with this is that during the actual show, once they give 100% in all numbers, they wont have the stamina for the final number. It is very important to give it all in rehearsals as if it is the actual show so you and the directors know how it is going to look for the actual night.

The day before!

Our final dress, mic, tech run where we tried out our notes from yesterdays session. A lot of people took these notes and confidently put them into practice and I am proud of the sudden professionalism we have as a whole cast. We have re worked the mic paths and I am confident with where they are going- although I am not in charge of any microphones besides the wired ones on stage already, and I use a head mic throughout Rock of Ages.

I feel very confident with my character and how I have developed Drew, and feel ready to show the audience the hard work I have put in

I do still feel weary about the ‘street guyz’ scene but I don’t think I will ever feel comfortable with it so I will have to embrace the awkwardness. This helps because the character himself feels uneasy about the situation, and you always have to put a bit of yourself in the character which I definitely feel like I do. It helps my character development in the scene and puts myself in the characters shoes.

We got new staging today from our partner school so we had to fix some of the entrances and exits since the set is a little higher, so we have to be more careful and be mindful in the blackouts. During a run I almost fell down the stairs, so although it being a pain the day before the show, it does make our set look better and we can adapt easily with time.

I am happy to say I am confident! It is my last show in college ever, and although it will be emotional, it will help my character and help me push to be better than I have ever performed. Getting to work with new people has been a learning experience. I have thoroughly enjoyed discovering my character no matter how much I complained. I loved the challenge by the end of the process because it makes me feel prouder that I am doing a good job with something I thought was impossible before we started. It has also made me feel a lot more confident for the future challenges ahead that will be out of my comfort zone as I won’t be as afraid to jump in from now on.

#musical #log #run #rehearsal #wwry #rockofages

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ais-n · 7 years ago

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Creator 2017 Tag Meme

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favorite works you’ve created this year (fics, art, edits, etc!) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you’ve brought into the world in 2017. Tag as many writers/artists/etc as you want (fan or original!) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works. <3

No one tagged me, I just need some positivity after the shitshow of 2017. Although, because 2017 sucked so much for me, I actually might not even be able to do 5 works... If you look through my tumblr archive, I had so much less than normal that year.

But here’s to trying! :D Below are in no particular order. Sorry for the long post.

1. Have I the honor, milady?

I got excited in September because I started my patreon and I wanted ideas for things to draw. I asked on tumblr for people to suggest the funniest outfits for Boyd and Hsin from ICoS to wear for Halloween and there were some great responses lol One of them was for Hsin to be a princess, at which point I drew first the sketch version below and later made it into my typical Ais’ Terrible Art via Paint comic. Original post here.

This continues to be one of the silliest and stupidest things I’ve ever drawn, and yet it makes me laugh every time I look at it XD So it’s definitely a 2017 fav for me lol

2. Reciprocal: Reina’s Story

In case you didn’t know, in October I started what is meant to be a serial series called Reciprocal. I released the first story already on my Patreon - you don’t need to be a patron to read it (in other words, it’s 100% free for everyone to read, it’s just where I posted it). Read it here.

I wanted to write a story that has a bit of a supernatural twist to it, but that let me also touch on mental illness, and focus a lot of LGBTQIA+ stuff. I also wanted to set it in a seemingly super mundane, real world setting. I’m actually really excited about the serial itself, and plan to submit a future story of it to a magazine some friends are doing. I’ve started 2 more stories in this universe but haven’t had the chance to finish them yet. One of my goals for this serial was to really try to chill out on word count per part, and try to keep it 5,000-10,000 words per story. This is exceedingly difficult for me to do and I’m pretty sure I failed in the first installment but here’s to hoping for future ones lol

(Read all of Reciprocal #1 for free at my patreon, in case you missed the link above)

3. Incarnations

I am by far most proud of Incarnations. If you didn’t know, this is a book I worked on (on and off) for about 20 years. I finally finished writing the first draft of it in October 2016, then tried to edit it in 2017. I got some great feedback that will require some major rewrites, which was delayed by several months due to my bout of extreme depression this past Fall. But I did get some chapters out already on Patreon, and more will definitely be to come.

Incarnations is an LGBTQIA+ fantasy/sci-fi book which is the start of a series called Wildwood Rising. It’s sort of a police procedural, sort of a murder mystery, and sort of a typical fantasy story. What’s it about? Well..

It started with one body, and soon became four.

No connection except unknown magic stopping the decay. An ancient sentient language appears near the latest corpse.

Vikenti’s the magical cop assigned this case. Experts are baffled and he’s impatient. He wants this case solved, because it’s starting to seem a serial killer is targeting the community.

He isn’t the only one having problems.

Sloane wants answers for the nightmare that turned her into an outcast in her own home. Fawkes and Corrin need to know who they are. Keiran wants clarity. Besin craves history. Ven and Enria lost their family. Jade wants justice. Harper wants to forget. Twins Cypress and Hunter are on the run from everyone just for being born.

Everyone has a story.

Everyone has a past.

Everyone has darkness that can find them, and everyone will learn more than they expected about themselves, the world, and life.

It started with one body, but the story that body tells is so much more than a simple murder.

-Incarnations by Ais

patreon.com/ais

btw many of the characters are LGBTQIA+ in some form and/or people of color.

Here’s the beginning of it:

(read more Incarnations here)

4. Queenie

I really like to draw but mostly suck at it (hence Ais’ Terrible Art). Still, it doesn’t affect how fun it is for me to draw random shit. I’d been seeing on youtube that people are doing this “one marker challenge” thing where you get one marker and try to do a whole piece of art using just that one marker. I thought it would be fun to do but decided to start slow, by using a set of “dual tip skin tone markers” I got at Barnes & Noble randomly. They’re alcohol -based markers, the first time I’ve ever used those.

I sat down to draw and didn’t really have a plan at all for what I’d do (I would have done some things differently if I had planned with pencil or anything instead of going straight in with sharpie like I did). I ended up with a girl I call Queenie. She isn’t the best piece of art I’ve ever done but I really like something about her, I think particularly her eyes. She makes me happy when I look at her so that’s why I’m including her in this 2017 recap. And because she’s my first alcohol-based marker piece of art.

I used 6 markers and 2 sharpies altogether on her.

5. A strange discovery in Irridian library

In all honesty, this wouldn’t hit my top 2017 moments if I actually had more options, but I’m super limited because 2017 was horrendous for my creative energy. Not that this sucks by any means, this thing amuses me, but I’m sure I’ve written better stuff in my life.

Anyway I thought it would be really funny to write a fake newspaper article set in the Incarnations world, about one of the main characters (Besin, he shows up in the first chapter and is Head Librarian). I thought it would be funny to show petty local urban politics in a fantasy world setting. So this was a whole article written by this woman Ghieta from Seiyunne Circle (the main newspaper in the largest Magetown on Ariwyn), basically all about being salty about Besin being way too devoted to his job as a librarian. XD idk I just thought the topic was absurd enough that it would make me laugh.

Read the whole article here. Preview below:

(read the rest here)

One of the things that I’m really looking forward to with Incarnations and Wildwood Rising is the whole thing is my world/etc. Which means I can do all the stupid random shit I want for extras without having to ask another poor soul to randomly go in on silly little stories whenever I feel like it (like I had to whenever I collaborated with others on writing). If you get into Incarnations, look forward to a loooooot of random shit in the future because it’s so fun to do XD

Honorable mention

by the way, honorable mention is a woman I just drew after being inspired by Queenie to the point that I bought some Prismacolor alcohol-based markers to try doing art only in color (no black lines etc). I would have added her to the list but she’s technically my first drawing of 2018. Still, I really like how her eye turned out so you get to see her below anyway.

I still need more shades in between though - couldn’t get enough blending on the shadows as you can see below. Also I fucked up her right eye’s eyelashes but oh well, I like her left eye enough I don’t mind the right being fucked.

TAGGING: I don’t know who to tag because I’ve been so inconsistent on tumblr lately so idk who even is into tags lately. So here’s the thing - I want to see everyone do this! If you don’t have anyone to tag you, say I tagged you and do this! Let’s get all the cool creativity out there, friends! :D

#ais terrible art #about me #incarnations #writing #drawing #creativity #2017 #remember #long post #sorry #memes

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feed-our-souls-too · 7 years ago

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Thoughts From ECCC

I went to Emerald City Comic Con last weekend for the first time and had a blast (even though it didn’t all go as hoped - you can’t always get exactly what you want and that’s a good lesson to remember!). I spent a good portion of time shopping and at totally geeky/nerdy panels (Astrophysics of Star Trek, anyone?), but I also went to some panels about being an artist and/or author. I thought I’d write up some of the things I learned. If you’re not failing in some way, you’re not pushing yourself hard enough. This is definitely something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. I hesitate because I fear failure, but the reality is that failure is good. We learn so much from it, but we refuse to listen to it, it seems. Instead of the voice of failure, we entertain the voice of evil, who tells us that this mess up means we ourselves are messed up, we are not good enough and could never be. That’s not true, and I believe that is because God wants us to be the best version of ourselves. He wants us to hear the voice of failure saying, “Aren’t you glad you learned that? Imagine what you can do now that you know it!” He wants us to be able to look back and see all the mistakes that lead to our successes. Failure isn’t something to fear. It’s a weapon to arm ourselves with.

Promise, progress, payoff This was about how to make a good ending. I can’t say that I have a super strong desire to be a writer, but storytelling does interest me and I’d love to try my hand at a comic project or two. Anywho, so the idea here is that your story promises something, shows progress toward it, and then gives the payoff of that promise (even if the answer to that promise is something different from the original promise). I think too that as an illustrator, your job can be to tell a story sometimes with only 1 image, and so this idea would be interesting to apply. How do you suggest a promise and a sense of payoff? Food for thought...

They are not judging you as hard as you think. They have their own worries. This one is a good reminder that no one is perfect. You start out in the art field and think, “Wow, look at all these people. They have it so together.” They don’t. They’re people too. Yeah, they have more experience, but they have their own issues too. By and large, people aren’t going to look at You and your work and be all judgy (unless you or they are a jerk). They know how hard it can be and they have their own insecurities. So be nice, encourage one another, and stop telling yourself they’re judging you - because really, you’re probably judging yourself way harder than they are.

How to make the emotional responses of your characters real and interesting/fitting to the story they’re in. How do you respond? How do people you know respond? Take that and fit it to the world around the character. Example taken from one of that comic book artists: Do you go shopping after a fight? Is it because you need to get out and shopping is something you enjoy? Would your character want to get out? Maybe your character goes out looking for trouble (bashing in zombies because she knows they are there), the same way a person might go out shopping (ie, spending too much or buying useless things - this isn’t about being practical, it’s about anger)?

What is the story within your story? Think about motives, repercussions, and the message these things send. It’s gotta be more than “this person hates this other person.”

Have a cool idea but don’t know where to take it? Just write! (Or draw!) Start by telling the story of the idea to yourself. Write until you’ve run out, then take a break. Don’t worry about quality. Come back to it and edit it or start in another place or even just save it for later. Same kind of idea stands for art. Have a cool idea, but don’t know what to do with it? Just get it down on paper to a point which you will know what the heck it is when you look at it later on. You can come back to these scraps of ideas later and use them for a project you’re stuck on, or maybe in some spare time begin to shape them into something better. You never know!

The most important thing is not the really cool idea you have - it’s the execution. Same goes for being “unique.” The base idea of your story/picture has probably been told before, but it hasn’t been told by you before. Sounds cheesy, but it’s true. So tell your story. Let its uniqueness come out of who you are as a person, if nothing else.

Good artists (and writers) support other artists (and writers)! Most people want to support each other, both monetarily (though we all understand if you can’t afford things!) and with words and other gestures. Don’t be afraid to talk about your struggles. It might be just what someone needs (”I’m not the only one!”). And be willing to listen too. Make art friends. You need them.

Practical “con” artist stuff (ie, convention artist, for you who are reading this and gasping in shock, haha) -Have a nice tablecloth! Tables often don’t have them (and they’re ugly) or they do have them and the tablecloths themselves are (still) ugly (or just completely the wrong color for your work)! -Try eBay for signs/banners at a reasonable price and then just buy the hangers to put them up -The Devastators Exhibitors Survey. Google it. It talks about how well exhibitors did at Cons in a certain year, which cons make the most money for the exhibitors, how experience plays into success, etc. -Going into a bit of debt on your first few tries is quite probable -cleardisplays.com (also, get display things that are collapsible to transport easier and that don’t weigh a million pounds) or maybe try a local Ikea for affordable, easy to put together display options -Don’t forget simple things like pens, sharpies, tape, scissors, etc -Set money/sales goals. One artist suggested that making about $100/hour was a good goal.

So there’s your food for thought.

#storytelling help #art help #eccc #eccc18 #anxiety #mental health #fear of failure #being a convention artist #admin post #other #managing time and projects

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news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog · 8 years ago

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This guy quit his job to become a full-time banana artist

Historically, bananas have had just two main uses: 1) a source of nourishment, and 2) a handy way to spin rival plumbers off course in a go-kart race.

As it turns out, though, there's a third use.

SEE ALSO: This man makes amazing surreal animations from famous artwork

For the past six years, 39-year-old Stephan Brusche from Rotterdam, the Netherlands, has been turning them into works of art.

Look who's back... #AgentCooper #TwinPeaks #fruitdoodle

A post shared by Stephan Brusche (@isteef) on May 22, 2017 at 10:23am PDT

🐢#WorldTurtleDay #fruitdoodle #turtle (shoutout to @turtlewayne)

A post shared by Stephan Brusche (@isteef) on May 23, 2017 at 5:20am PDT

💀 Oh, there's an empty place in my bones that calls out for something unkown #JackSkellington #TheNightmareBeforeChristmas #TimBurton #fruitdoodle

A post shared by Stephan Brusche (@isteef) on Sep 30, 2016 at 7:46am PDT

Brusche uses a combination of toothpicks, a knife, and a ball-point pen to transform his bananas. The whole process — from sketching out an idea to sharing it online — takes two to three hours.

You can see the stages broken down in the video below:

Cologne @visit_koeln my fourth and final video of the #urbanana project from @deinnrw #fruitdoodle

A post shared by Stephan Brusche (@isteef) on Jan 18, 2017 at 5:32am PST

"I draw on the banana with a regular ballpoint pen," Brusche explained. "After that I strategically cut away pieces of the peel to give it a more 3D look and feel. To hold pieces of the peel up I stick toothpicks in the banana behind the peel. Sometimes I also use paint."

When the banana's ready he snaps it on his iPhone, adds a filter and uploads it to his Instagram account.

🐙 #fruitdoodle #octopus

A post shared by Stephan Brusche (@isteef) on Nov 14, 2015 at 4:51pm PST

Khaleesi • I made it, here is my final #drawlloween & #inktober piece! #dragon #daenerystargaryen @emilia_clarke #gameofthrones @gameofthrones #khaleesi #fruitdoodle

A post shared by Stephan Brusche (@isteef) on Oct 31, 2015 at 5:47pm PDT

Sunday #recharge #fruitdoodle

A post shared by Stephan Brusche (@isteef) on Apr 2, 2017 at 5:33am PDT

Brusche tumbled into the world of banana art almost by accident.

"My wife had been pushing me to use Instagram for awhile, saying it would be great for promoting my illustrations and comics I'd been doing in my spare time alongside my work as a graphic designer," he explained.

One day during his lunch hour, he decided to try it out. As he was in the office, though, interesting photograph opportunities were tricky to find.

"I then noticed I still had a banana left from lunch and figured it would make a fun picture if I just drew a little happy face on it," Brusche said. "I discovered how pleasant it actually is to draw on a banana — there is just something about how smooth the ballpoint pen flows on the structure of the banana peel.

"I made another 'fruitdoodle', as I like to call them, the next day. One with a grumpy face, for balance sake. And after that I just kinda challenged myself to see what else I could come up with to draw on a banana, and I never stopped since."

After awhile, Brusche noticed that his banana art was getting more likes and attention than his other work. From then on, he began to focus on it more and more.

🐙🌎 World Domination 🍌🍈 #collab with @scuruchi when we met in #Rome #fruitdoodle

A post shared by Stephan Brusche (@isteef) on Aug 18, 2016 at 6:33am PDT

Pongo #101dalmatians #fruitdoodle

A post shared by Stephan Brusche (@isteef) on Mar 20, 2017 at 9:08am PDT

🏄 Since it's #InternationalSurfingDay 🍌🌊#fruitdoodle #gnome #bloodygnomes #surfing

A post shared by Stephan Brusche (@isteef) on Jun 20, 2016 at 4:17pm PDT

Brusche's Instagram page is filled with hundreds of "fruitdoodles" — mostly they involve bananas, but a few — like the "pearguin" and the creepy homage to It below — bring in other fruits, too.

My Pearguin again, because it's #worldpenguinday today! 🐧🍐#penguin #pear #fruitdoodle

A post shared by Stephan Brusche (@isteef) on Apr 25, 2017 at 5:48am PDT

🎈Loved this bit of the new trailer #IT #ITMovie #Pennywise #BillSkarsgard #StephenKing #cherrytomatoes #foodart pic.twitter.com/ffMpHKY9lG

— Stephan Brusche (@iSteef) May 12, 2017

When we asked Brusch for his favourite banana creations, he listed the following three: "The Creation of Adam", "Fishbone" (which he describes as a "turning point" for him) and "Marilyn Monroe":

This is a detail from #TheCreationOfAdam. A #fresco painting by #Michelangelo, which forms part of the #SistineChapel's ceiling, painted c. 1508–1512. It illustrates the #Biblical creation narrative from the Book of #Genesis in which God breathes life into #Adam, the first man. Some personal thoughts. For me God didn't only give life, but also the gift to be a creator. To be creative. As we are made in God's image it makes sense to me. And it drives me to be as creative as I can be. Also, when I look at Gods creation, nature, animals, space, it's full of wonder and uniqueness. Not one thing is exactly the same, not even snowflakes. It's one big testimony of diversity. So it's okay to be different, because everyone is suppose to be different. #fruitdoodle #biblebanana

A post shared by Stephan Brusche (@isteef) on Mar 30, 2017 at 9:08am PDT

🍌 Fishbone • This #fruitdoodle was actually one big fail at first. I had drawn a fish on the banana and it was just a mess. I did liked how the head of the fish turned out, so I went on to tried to sort of save save it from this mess. I removed the banana peel between the head and the end part, thus also removing the failed part. And by doing so it looked like I was skinning a fish. And that triggered the idea to somehow create the bones of the fish. So I started cutting away pieces of the banana to create the fish skeleton. And the result was a 1000 times cooler than it would have if I didn't messed up my original idea! And in the proces I discovered my very own unique style of #bananart. As a bonus this was the first piece of #fruitart of mine that was picked up by a major art account: @hifructosemag on @instagram. After that I used this new found method on all my new #fruitdoodles and six months my work went viral! The moral of the story I guess is; it's good to mess up sometimes so you are forced to use a different approach. #nevergiveup

A post shared by Stephan Brusche (@isteef) on Nov 6, 2016 at 10:52am PST

Marilyn Monroe #fruitdoodle #marilynmonroe #thesevenyearitch

A post shared by Stephan Brusche (@isteef) on Jan 3, 2015 at 7:06am PST

Over the past few years, Brusche has built up around 52,000 followers on Instagram. He's now quit his full-time job as a graphic designer to focus on his artwork.

"I'm getting more and more projects and it became harder and harder to combine it with my day job," he explained.

"So I made a radical decision to commit 100% to my banana art."

Oh, and if you were wondering what he does with the bananas after he's finished, don't worry: they don't go to waste.

To answer the most asked question; yes, I do eat them afterwards. 😋 #fruitdoodle #giraffe

A post shared by Stephan Brusche (@isteef) on Feb 20, 2017 at 6:21am PST

You can see more of Brusche's work on Instagram, Twitter, and his website.

WATCH: Artist 3D prints porcelain pieces and it's mesmerizing

#_author:Sam Haysom #_lmsid:a0Vd000000DTrEpEAL #_uuid:d8e8ddaf-97f7-3254-9d18-332f6cc3330a #_revsp:news.mashable

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zakurujayimagine · 8 years ago

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FFXIV Questionnaire: Jaya Wisp

FC RELATED:

How did you first learn about LitterBox?

In my old FC the LitterBox were our neighbors. My FC called them weirdos but they were just younger than them. After I left I joined them because I had some friends there already and also so I can have a watchful eye on my old FC.

What are 3 words to describe this FC?

RP, Ditzy, friendly

What do you like most about this FC?

How everyone talks to everyone and hang out and are active.

If you could change something, what would you change about this FC?

More conversation and more active XDDD (im greedy)

CHARACTER RELATED:

What is your character’s name

Jaya Wisp

What race did you start as?

Miqo’te

Are you still that race?

Most of the time, just turned lala for the month hehe.

What’s your favorite race in the game

Lalafel, because i think they seem to be more customized than other races.

Is your character young or old?

She’s still growing, in her early 30s now.

What is your favorite Glamour

Being a shirtless thank, hehehe

What is your favorite dye?

Lavender purple

Which minion/pet is your favorite?

My onion prince!

Which role (tank/healer/caster/ranged/melee) do you prefer playing?

Blackmage but DPS in general

Which job is your favorite?

Dark Knight! :3

Do you have an Eternal Bond partner? If so, who is it?

Yup, Mormaz Innoruuk

FFXIV RELATED:

When did you start playing FFXIV?

February 2015

What drew you to the game?

I noticed my long time friend playing it on steam and when I asked him about it he hesitantly invited me into it.

What’s your favorite aspect in this game?

How beautiful it is... *drools*

Which piece of music is your favorite in FFXIV?

Eternal Wind

What do you find the most challenging about FFXIV?

The toxic people lol

What are your FFXIV goals?

Finished leveling all dps,crafters, and gatherers to 60, complete any or all savage, get the primal birds. Get BLM and WHM anima relics.

What are you looking forward to in 4.0?

Just more fun and adventures with my friends!

PERSONAL QUESTIONS (about the player):

What is your favorite food?

Pumpkin Bread

What is your favorite drink?

Berry Zinger tea and/or Dr. Pepper soda

What is your favorite color?

Purple

What is your favorite animal?

A fox

If you could be anything, what would you be?

MAGIC

Any random facts you would share about yourself?

I draw... I’ve been in a long distance relationship with said friend, I watch anime.. XD uh.. I drew comics as a kid, the stories are cool but the art back then sucked lol

Have you played other Final Fantasy games? If yes, which is your favorite?

I’ve only played FFIII on the DS and Crystal Chronicles. Not 100% a fan yet. I prefer FFXIV though.

What other games do you enjoy playing currently?

Smite, Sims 4, KH, Zelda, COD, Battlefield, pokemon sun, Fire Emblem

What games are you looking forward to?

New Zelda!!

Pick 3 words that best describe you:

Funny, Happy, Motherly

What do you want to be when you grow up?

A character artist or animator in the Game Industry

What else do you do for fun?

Draw, Watching anime, be silly

Do you have a bucket list? Please name one!

Meet my online friends

What is the one thing you cannot live without?

Hugs

What is your biggest pet peeve?

Having my name spelled wrong...

What is your greatest fear?

As of right now, it is failing and not being happy in school (rocky road lol)

#ffxiv questionaire #fc questionaire #Jaya Wisp #FFXIV #Final Fantasy XIV #zakurujayimagine

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davidsilvercloud · 7 years ago

Photo

Terry David “Butch/Butch Naked” Silvercloud

"Step aside! I shall perform the necessary heroics" Comic Book Guy/The Simpsons

"Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." - T. S. Eliot

11.6 Million photo views, to date at http://ButchNaked.com. Thank you. At this time I'm getting about 100,000 photo views a week.

Again... thanks for the visits.

TELL EVERYONE. Free photo downloads at BUTCHNAKED.COM

My homepage is http://ButchBoard.com

I'm not your average can of beans.

Now keep reading.

THE DAILY GRIND... ARE WE THERE YET?

Friday, 1 Dec. 2017. Doctor appointment today for a Rx refill and a shot in the bum.

It has come to my attention that over 50% of adults, in Canada, now have post-secondary education. On the face of it, this seems like a good thing... except half those degrees aren't worth the paper they're printed upon and the people who have the degrees have little to show for their effort. Schools are becoming factories on the path to employment and nothing much of anything is being taught, anymore. A Bachelor of Arts is about as useful as toilet paper except it looks good on a resume... you might know how to wear a suit and tie.

We live in an era where nobody is left behind, everyone is as good as everyone else, and everybody wins. I don't give a flying fuck if you have a degree. I'll figure out if you have brains or concrete between your ears really, really fast. There's a reason I'm reclusive... the idiots are driving me insane. I need to stay away from them.

The best post-secondary education is in technical fields... learning how to do things for a particular business or function... electrician, plumber, auto technician, etc.

While I don't trust many doctors, anymore, one does need a lot of post-secondary education to be a doctor. Nurses are frighteningly ignorant of just about everything.

Our society has become much like the old Chinese Empire that depended upon the civil service exams... useless exams that did not help advance the country at all. It kept China hundreds of years behind the rest of the planet and they are, only now, catching up. The Canadian and American school systems have become very ill and are in need of a major overhaul. I can't speak for European schools as I am not familiar with them.

Private Universities abound and are filled with teachers who couldn't get a job doing anything else. They have become factories designed to meet paychecks of professors and the whole machine that is the school. Public education is constantly and chronically underfunded.

Smart people who really want to learn will find their way through the system but will have to compete with personalities who will simply lie and cheat their way to whatever they are after.

Some of the dumbest fucks on the planet, whom I have ever met, have had university degrees. I'm going to leave it at that and move on before my blood pressure bursts a vein.

I was an Officer in the Canadian Navy. When I was going to Officer School, in Esquimalt, B.C., we had to take Morse Code by flashing light twice a day... early in the morning before breakfast and, again, after even meal and before evening study period. There were about 100 of us and we teamed up in pairs on the Parade Square where we could all see the flashing light. One person would read the light while the other person wrote down what the letters were that were being sent.

I had been in the Naval Reserves for over 2 years and was a Signalman... Semaphore flags, Ship's flags, Morse Code, and voice radio communications. I was a highly trained signalman by the time I joined the regular forces and had completed half the entire communications training there was to be had. My partner, on the Parade Square, with whom I read the Morse Code from the lights, was a friend of mine from Naval Reserve days. He had been a Radioman and had gone to Communications School with me at Reserve Training Headquarters. We knew each other well.

The point of this is that both Bill, my friend and I, knew Morse Code in our sleep and the other Cadets didn't know any code. It was VERY boring to Bill and I because the letters were being sent so very slowly. So we were chatting with each other while reading the lights.

There was a Communications Petty Officer sending the signals. He was one of our training officers. After the session, one evening, he called out Bill and me for talking out loud and said he was going to send us a "special" test... we had to read the lights again and, this time, it was going to come at us very fast. The intention was for us to fail and be placed upon detention. And so we both read the lights... and we both scored 100% with zero mistakes.

The Petty Officer was pretty cool about it. He congratulated us and said he was wasting his time sending the light Morse Code and, from now on, my friend Bill and I would be in charge of sending the lights... we were both permanently excused from reading the lights, but would now be SENDING the code. My friend Bill would go on to flight school, but I remained with the surface officers in training and would become the 'go-to guy' if we had to do anything communications and signal related. I would go on to lead a flag hoisting team that no other cadet team could beat... so we were permanently disqualified from competing again against other cadets and would compete against trained Signalmen... who we also beat.

We could hoist and re-stow signal flags faster than the ship's qualified signalmen could do it. I trained two other cadets to be part of my team, taught them the layout of the flag locker (it has slots for two of every flag, one for each letter of the alphabet, the numbers 1 to 0, plus about a half dozen specialty flags with special meanings when used... one flag was called "Corpen" which means "standby to..."). We practiced the fastest hoisting and stowing procedures until we were lightning fast. Yup... if I take on a challenge, I like to be the best.

THIS IS THE END OF THE DAILY GRIND.

IF YOU HAVEN'T BEEN HERE, BEFORE, HERE IS MORE STUFF TO READ...

I'm a bit OCD and ADHD and go on like a dripping tap. Think Sheldon Cooper, if that rings some kind of bell. I quite simply assume everyone around me is a complete idiot.

http://DavidSilvercloud.com (Blog) (http://David_Silvercloud.Tumblr.com)

http://ButchNews.com (Video) (http://YouTube.com/ButchNews)

http://ButchNaked.com (Photo Stream) (http://Flickr.com/David_Silvercloud)

http://SeriousThunder.com (Art)

http://ElectronSpeed.Tumblr.com ...(Physics... The Speed of Light, Grand Unified Theory, Gravity, Dark Matter, Dark Energy... how the physical size of the Electron is the clock that sets the speed of light. Gravity is motion and a product of the fact that nothing ever sits still, combined with the magnetic properties of Dark Matter/Energy. Nothing can ever move in an absolute circle and rest is a relativity illusion.

Absolute rest is not possible... ever. The universe can not end. Time is change and is an illusion. It is always now, everywhere, all at once, all of the time. Proof of that is that ANY object MUST be HERE and THERE at the SAME time, no matter how large... even a Galaxy. It is always NOW on both sides... here and there, in space, of the Galaxy... all galaxies, everywhere. Waves can be either physical or electronic. The duality of the universe keeps it ongoing. DNA is the battery of life. When the chains can no longer co-operate, life ceases in the body. Life, itself, is a duality. Time measurement is a relativity convenience.) Time travel is impossible because time is not a place and nothing stays where it was. One year from now the Solar System will have moved about seven BILLION kilometres through space and will NEVER return to where it was... ever.

Earth travels through space like a long wave... it has NEVER, ever made an actual circle, nor ellipse, in space. The circle/ellipse is an illusion of relativity. Nothing can ever travel in an actual circle in space... NOTHING. Nothing can ever go backward. Backwards motion is an illusion of relativity. Time is a repercussion of change and has no fixed rate... things explode or move like a glacier. At best we can only compare rates of change. Our rate of change is called the second/minute/hour/day/month/year system.

WATCH VIDEO FOR EXPLANATION OF THE PATH OF EARTH THROUGH SPACE.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPjohZCMwmI

Earth moves about 7 billion kilometers through space, each year... in a long wave. Earth NEVER returns to where it was before. Earth is NOT an island in space... one of the reasons why time travel is impossible. If you take a trip through space, outside the Solar System, Earth will NOT be there when you return... it will be far, far away. You will have to return to where it will BE when you arrive... remember, it's moving very, very, very fast through space in a long wave... never a circle, or ellipse.

http://The-Shape-Of-God.Tumbler.com Manuscript of my book... The Shape of God.

Butch, himself. Visual Artist, Photographer, Physicist (Particle, Sub/Atomic Physics/Relativity)

Inhibitions are just so inhibiting, I avoid them.

I'm a friendly, but pretty blunt, kind of guy. No time for beating around the bush. I like to say what I mean and mean what I say. I'm 73 years old. Time is not on my side. You don't have to like me. I'm a social recluse, anyway. I share my life, in photos, video, and words, to let you into my life and hope to inspire you to be a productive and useful human. I have old age issues but will continue to post, here, while I'm well and able. I talk a lot... I'm told it's part of my OCD and ADHD. Come direct at http://ButchNaked.com Sign in if you wish to see me naked.

If you don't know me, the following might help you get to know what kind of person I am. I don't expect you to understand me. I can be a bit OCD and ADHD.

"They've already got more blowjobs than we'll ever get" Steve Smith (American Dad), talking about college jocks.

"Now let us touch testicles and mate for life" Alien on The Simpsons

"It never hurts to have a second set of prints on a gun" Nelson Muntz, The Simpsons.

I'm here to teach you things. While I appreciate other people's opinions, I really don't much give a crap what anyone thinks. Until you prove your worth, I will be nice but you have to earn my respect. The moment you say a word, I'll be figuring you out really, really fast. You should assume that I don't trust anyone. I've not met a single trustworthy person in my entire life. I've met lots of nice people who aren't too bright... well-intentioned folk who know little about anything, people who are nice, most of the time until you say something that offends them. Honourable people agree to disagree.

Look up the phrase "CRITICAL THINKING" then learn to practice it. Most people leap before they look and judge before they listen to the facts. Most don't have enough knowledge, nor experience, to be experts in much of anything. You don't know what you don't know. I like to remind you of that, often.

The only other REALLY IMPORTANT thing to know about me is that I, totally, despise all religions, the teaching of religion, and religious institutions... I despise them as the evilest things on the planet. If you follow a religion, you CAN NOT BE MY FRIEND. THAT'S THAT. You are an ignorant idiot who is an ever-present danger to yourself and everyone and everything around you. Nothing, absolutely NOTHING, is eviler than religion. I don't stand for, nor sing, our National Anthem because it praises a fictitious and superstitious being called 'God'. Only a brain dead moron bonehead ignorant idiot would believe such a thing.

If you have a religion, I will not associate with you... period. You are a danger to be around. Yes, I insult religions... they are extraordinarily evil. I said it, I mean it. You have a right to be an idiot, but not around me. I have a right to defend myself against the horrors of religion and I will. Religion is evil. I can't say it enough times.

http://The-Shape-Of-God.Tumblr.com

I keep a homepage at http://ButchBoard.com

My main video page is http://YouTube.com/ButchNews go direct at http://ButchNews.com

You may come directly to my photostream at http://ButchNaked.com

You must sign in to see me naked. You may download and share nude photos of me... go nuts.

GOOGLE my name (Terry David Silvercloud or David Silvercloud) for more information.

#Artist #Photographer #Vancouver Artist #David Silvercloud #Butch Naked

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strangeage-blog1 · 7 years ago

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Since I was a kid, I always wanted to be a [visual] artist, and loved drawing cartoons. My first comic book series "The Adventures of Sparky and Princess" was both the debut and farewell to my sketching days since I never could get my drawing skills to stick. It just never came easy to me but I loved it so much.

And I think that's why I love it. Because music comes easy to me but when a form of art is a challenge and you want it bad enough, it becomes dragon you can't quite tame. And that's what illustration and visceral art is to me. Untamed.

Anyway. I wanted to do a song today but had inspiration to do this instead around 6 am stacking legit bananas at my job. This is 100% based off of a true story that happened to me, although I put a culmination of experiences into a single character for simplicity's sake. To all the artists doing everything they can: I see you. And your suffering is never experienced alone.

Thanks for reading. Shout out to my Mom and Dad for always supporting all of their kids' creations, including singing my songs in the car with the perfectly executed wrong lyrics and trying to start failed improv skits at the dinner table. You are the only two people that always shine in both the light and the dark. You both amaze me.

Til tomorrow,

Jessie xo

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trendingnewsb · 8 years ago

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How Someone Who Doesn't Live a Fairy Tale Creates a Place Full of Fairy Tales

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them” – Walt Disney.

Whenever you think about great individuals who started from very humble beginnings and achieved extraordinary success, who comes to your mind? For me, Walt Disney springs to my mind first.

Walt Disney was a remarkable creative entrepreneur, animator, voice actor and film producer. He was the recipient of 22 Academy Awards and was nominated 59 times for producing iconic cartoons and animated films that we all love and enjoy even today, including Mickey Mouse.

A pioneer of the American animation industry, Disney founded the multi-billion-dollar Walt Disney Company that consists of various associated film production and distribution companies, cable channels, and television stations and networks. He even founded amusement parks for families to enjoy.

Disney’s journey to the top wasn’t as smooth sailing as many people imagine, though. Like many of us, he experienced many challenges along the way and he had to overcome big obstacles to succeed. Here are some facts about Walt Disney that most people don’t know but should.

1. He wasn’t born rich at all.

You might be tempted to think that Walt Disney achieved all he did because he came from a well-off family. He didn’t. For most of his childhood, Disney’s parents had to move the family across different states looking for work and economic security.

At the age of 19, Disney started drawing cartoons of the creatures from his childhood for sale. But, he got so little money to pay the rent, often being forced to live with friends and go without food.

That Disney rose from this humble background to become a household name is quite inspiring. It demonstrates that you don’t have to be born rich to make your own success.

2. He was told that he “lacked creativity”.

Hard to believe, but Walt Disney – the creative genius behind the Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Pluto and many other classic cartoon characters – was written off as lacking in creativity and artistry. When Disney pitched newspaper companies to get his cartoons published, they shut him down saying he “lacked artistic integrity,” But, though rejected, he kept going. He did not stop pitching his ideas.

People will criticize and even write you off for pursuing your dreams, but keep going. No one knows you better than you know yourself. No one knows your innermost dreams better than you. Listen to your heart and pursue your dreams relentlessly like Disney. It might not be easy, but it will be worth it in the end.

3. He failed many times (apparently more than 300 times).

Most people won’t even put 100 attempts toward their dream let alone fail 300 times. But Walt Disney failed over 300, including the heartbreaking period when his first studio that focused on animation called Laugh-O-Gram went bankrupt and shut down. Each time he failed, he learnt his lesson and tried again. When you believe in your dream as much as Disney did, even repeat failure cannot keep you from ultimate success.

Rather than focusing on the past, focus instead on the future achievements you want. “When you believe a thing, believe it all the way, implicitly and unquestionably,” Disney said.

4. He spent his Saturdays with his two daughters.

Although Walt Disney was an incredibly busy man, he always put family first. And he adored his two daughters, Diane and Sharon Disney. On Saturdays he would always take the girls out for the day, sit and eat peanuts, while watching his girls on the carousel. It was on one such trip that the idea occurred to him that there should be an amusement park for families to enjoy together.

In July 1955, Disney hosted the world premiere of his new amusement park in California, the legendary Disneyland. Disney said on Disneyland’s opening day that he hoped the park will be “a joy and inspiration to all the world.” It did.

5. He labored for seven years just to plan out Disneyland.

Disneyland didn’t just happen overnight. Walt Disney labored long and hard for seven years just to plan out the project. Whereas most people would simply give up after a year or so of trying, Disney was determined to create what he envisioned would be the “happiest place on earth.” Always keep the bigger picture in mind. And be inspired by the greater good for all. As Disney said, “If you can dream it, you can do it.”

6. He dropped out of high school to pursue his dream—animation.

Although education was extremely important to Walt Disney, which explains why he helped create the California Institute of the Arts, he dropped out of high school to pursue his true passion, animation. Disney decided to only pursue work he loved.

Sometimes we have to weigh our options, circumstances carefully and make bold decisions that will better align us with our truest passion and goals. “A person should set his goals as early as he can and devote all his energy and talent to getting there. With enough effort, he may achieve it. Or he may find something that is even more rewarding,” Disney said. And just because you don’t have a formal education, doesn’t mean you cannot reach your dreams. You can.

7. He worked other jobs to fund his passion.

Disney went through a series of odd jobs, including working a summer job selling snacks and newspapers to travelers at a Kansas City railroad that his uncle worked, becoming an ambulance driver in the army during World War I, and taking up a comic artist job in a local newspaper. Whatever money he made, he directed it back to his main love–animation.

“The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing,” he said. Don’t be afraid of humble beginnings. You have to start from somewhere. Remember, great oaks grow from tiny seeds.

8. He was “scared to death” to introduce Disneyland on television.

Walt Disney admitted to being “scared to death” when he had to face the camera to introduce episodes of the “Disneyland” television series. But, he went through with it anyway. He never quit in the face of fear; he pushed forward despite of it.

Achievers give it a go even when it scares them. They muster courage to introduce their work to the world and do whatever else it takes to succeed–even if it means going against conformity. Don’t let fear stop you from doing what you have to do to make your dreams come true. Just do your best work and keep improving on what your best is every day. You’ll be fine.

9. He almost didn’t finish the studio production of Snow White.

When Walt Disney first started to work on the legendary “Snow White and the Seven Dwarves” film, his wife and brother tried to convince him to give it up because of the daunting task it involved. The idea of a technicolor, fully–animated, feature–length film had never been done before. The Snow White project was even dubbed “Disney’s Folly” by industry professionals. And halfway through production Disney ran out of money to continue the work.

Most people in this situation would just quit and get whatever they can out of what’s left. Disney persevered. He traveled around and showed clips of the raw film to producers in hopes of them funding his project. He even mortgaged his own house to raise additional funds to create the film. In the end this hustle was what enabled him to finish the classic Snow White film and save his studio.

Never let challenges and naysayers stop you. Be willing to work hard; to stretch yourself; to experiment with new things and produce the very best you can. The results will be worth it in the end.

10. He reaped the rewards of all his hard work, perseverance and dedication.

Apart from winning worldwide acclaim throughout his career, when the Snow White film finally hit the silver screen in December 21, 1937, it brought in a then unimaginable $8 million in spite of the Depression. That’s approximately $134 million today. The film was hailed as an “authentic masterpiece” by Time magazine. And By the time Walt Disney died in December 15, 1966, at the age of 65, he had epitomized the truth of his own words that, “All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.”

The post How Someone Who Doesn’t Live a Fairy Tale Creates a Place Full of Fairy Tales appeared first on Lifehack.

from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2r7q9ih via Viral News HQ

#IFTTT #Viral News HQ

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raystart · 8 years ago

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Floyd Norman: It’s not Over Until You Say It’s Over

Animator Floyd Norman’s childhood dream of working at Walt Disney Animation Studios came true in 1956, and, at the age of 81, he’s not done yet.

Known as a troublemaker in the industry, Norman is the subject of the recent documentary, An Animated Life, which chronicles his life as the first African-American artist to work at Disney, and how he persisted when they forced him into retirement at age 65. “When you get booted out, look at that as the beginning to create something new. My career isn’t over until I say it’s over,” says Norman.

Throughout his colorful career, which began at Disney, Norman has worked for top animation companies including Hanna-Barbera Productions and Pixar. If you’ve seen Sleeping Beauty, The Jungle Book, Mary Poppins, Toy Story 2, or Monsters, Inc., you’ve seen some of Norman’s handiwork. He’s also received numerous industry awards including Comic-Con International’s Inkpot Award and is a Disney Legend, which is the hall of fame program recognizing individuals who have made extraordinary contributions to the Walt Disney Company.

Norman’s career is not without its setbacks. He was drafted to war in 1958, in his twenties, launched his own motion picture production company in Los Angeles, which later closed, and was forced into retirement before he was ready. But, with the resiliency of a child, Norman always bounces back, and encourages creatives to cherish the beginnings—whether it’s the start of a new day, new project, or unexpected opportunity.

Over the years, Norman’s love for the craft and staying current on industry trends have helped him reinvent himself. When he’s not freelancing at Disney or serving as a judge at industry events, he’s speaking at universities to the next generation of animators. “Creative people don’t just hang it up. We want to create magic and continue working,” says Norman.

We spoke with the animator, writer, and comic book artist about his documentary, pivotal moments in his career, and why creatives should care more about beginnings than accomplishments.

Can you briefly tell me about your childhood, and when you developed an interest in the arts?

I grew up in the 1930s in Santa Barbara, CA, and was luckier than most kids. It wasn’t your average community due to its proximity to Hollywood and the entertainment industry. Many residents worked in show business as composers, actors, and writers. So, when we kids expressed an interest in becoming dancers, poets, writers, and musicians, nobody thought this was odd. Seeing Dumbo in the movie theater was a magical experience and inspired me to pursue animation. Many of us left school to become film directors and actors, and in my case, I went to the Walt Disney Studio to make animated films.

Were you parents artists or were they just appreciative of the arts?

Most of my family played at least one musical instrument simply because they enjoyed it. Music was always part of our household. I learned to read music as a child because it would broaden my educational experience. I studied the violin, clarinet, and flute, and played in the high school band and orchestra. This skill came in handy when I began making motion pictures because I could read a music score. You never know how early experiences will help you later in life.

What was it like working at Disney in the 1950s?

It was very exciting because this was my childhood dream—to work for Walt Disney. I still remember receiving the call that I was accepted as an animation intern to come learn the craft.

In An Animated Life, you said, “If you can get through Sleeping Beauty you can do anything.” What made working on this movie so difficult?

For one, this was my first film. Every artist working on a Disney film had to be a darn good artist because the standards were extremely high. Our bosses were demanding, and everything had to be exact. They put us through an animation boot camp to qualify us to work on this feature film.

Back then, films were made entirely by hand. Every image on the screen had to be sketched with a pencil, inked by an inker, and painted by a painter. My primary goal was to learn how to do the job and become better at it. Today, we have technology as a major assist in filmmaking, which means they’re not as dependent on artists.

Can you walk me through the animation boot camp?

It was a cumbersome process. In an animated scene, every drawing must be drawn by hand, and each scene is a series of 10, 50 or even 100 drawings. It’s these individual drawings that give the illusion of life on screen. Consequently, somebody must make all those drawings and there were 600 of us on Sleeping Beauty alone! That’s a lot of artists who must be skilled enough to draw those characters and keep the characters on model. If you don’t love it, you won’t last long in this business. The artists who did this work were die-hards.

How many years did it take to make Sleeping Beauty?

This film was an exception, and took about six years to make. Walt Disney had just gone into television and he was building a theme park in Anaheim, called Disneyland. Many artists struggled to keep his attention, which slowed down the production process.

After completing Sleeping Beauty, you were drafted into the military in 1958. Did art help you cope during this time?

Yes. As an artist, anytime we’re not at work or doing our job, we start drawing and painting. I’ve always loved motion pictures and storytelling, and as a kid, I watched everything from westerns to war movies. When I found myself in the military, in an odd way, it felt like I was in a Hollywood war movie with John Wayne or Gregory Peck. I think this delusion helped me cope through difficult, stressful situations because I never looked at my situation as being real, even though it was real. I was lucky to return from South Korea without any trauma.

So, after a few years absence from Disney, I was back at my drawing board working on 101 Dalmatians, which was nearly complete.

The animation process wasn’t computerized when you began. Do you feel that technology has distracted from or enhanced the animation industry?

That depends on one’s point of view. It’s a totally different business today because of digital technology, and apps like Photoshop, InDesign, and Illustrator are key. Back then, Walt Disney dominated the animation industry. Occasionally, another studio would try to make a film, but more than likely failed. In recent years, the computer has allowed other players to enter the game, and if they have enough investment to build the digital infrastructure, they can join in. In the 1950s, Disney had an army of skilled artists who took decades to train. Today, a new studio can be up and running in months.

Working in the animation industry demands that you’re funny on cue. Is this difficult?

You’ve got to be a funny person or else you’re not going to be in the business long. If somebody says, “I’ve been called in on a film where one of my bosses said ‘This sequence isn’t making me laugh.’” Well, you fix it and make the sequence funny—that’s your job.

That seems like a lot of pressure. How did you manage?

When your boss is Walt Disney—that’s the guy you must please. And, making the old man laugh is what got me through The Jungle Book. When I joined the project in 1966, The Jungle Book had been in the works for a year, and was a dark, mysterious story. Walt hated it and found it depressing. He said, “I want this picture rewritten. I want it to be fun. And, I want audiences to come out of this movie with a smile on their face.” Lucky for me, I knew exactly what he meant. He wanted to see Disney entertainment on screen. As a kid who grew up on Walt Disney films, read Disney storybooks, Disney comics, and listened to Disney music, I knew what a Disney film was.

So, my colleague Vance Gerry and I analyzed the storyline to bring laughs, music, and humor back into the story, and delivered exactly what Walt wanted. Fifty years later, The Jungle Book, is still very popular with audiences.

What are some tips artists can use to deliver strong storyboard pitches?

I tell young board artists to be confident in what they’ve done. If you’re hesitant about your work, this will show in your pitch. If you feel like you’ve delivered the goods, then you can pitch with confidence because you know what you’re showing works. I’ve always tried to pitch sequences I’ve boarded like, “Look, this is what I’ve done. This is what I feel works, and you can take it or leave it.”

What motivated you to leave Disney to start your own firm?

Walt passed away in December of 1966, which hit me hard. And, my friend Leo Sullivan and I had been talking to educators, and realized nothing existed in school systems addressing black history. We saw a need to create films about black history and culture and knew we could fill this gap as storytellers and filmmakers. So, by the first of the year in 1967, Vignette Films was up and running.

We produced four initial films about Paul Laurence Dunbar who was a poet, Booker T. Washington, an educator, George Washington Carver, a black scientist who played a major role in agriculture in the south, and jazz composer, W.C. Handy, the father of the blues. These were distributed to school systems as educational films, and we’re very proud of the work we’ve done.

You ran into challenges with Vignette Films and had to get creative to keep the business going. What did you do?

We lost our office, and in Hollywood, perception is everything. If you can be perceived as successful, that’s mainly all you need to do. People will fill in the blanks. So, when we moved into a coffee shop, this became our Hollywood office. The payphone became our Hollywood phone number. It was all bogus, but it worked for us. That’s how we managed to keep going, even during difficult times. You must find a way to do things when it looks impossible. We had to finish a motion picture, and had nowhere to do it. What better place to make a movie than in a Hollywood coffee shop? We worked on other projects including the original, iconic Soul Train animation, but eventually closed shop when it became too difficult to make ends meet.

After working for various animation companies, you returned to Disney, only to be forced into retirement when you turned 65. What was it like to be taken away from what you loved most?

It’s tough because when you lose your job, you also lose part of yourself. My identity was so wrapped up in this business—it was part of me. For some time, I walked the streets of my hometown of Pasadena grumbling and feeling rejected. Then, I realized I can’t continue like this and must make a new start. So, I worked at other studios, wrote for television, and did anything I could to stay busy.

I had been pushed out of the game, and was determined to come back on my own terms. Part of this involved coming back to Disney and moving into an office where I didn’t belong. In truth, they could have called security and kicked me off studio property, but they didn’t, so I stuck around year after year. Animator Avi Tuchman affectionately coined what I was doing as “Floydering,” and its stuck ever since.

This ties into your blog post about beginnings—can you talk more about this?

Many people lost their jobs when we went through the transition in animation where hand-drawn animators were replaced by digital technology. People who had been in this business for 20-40 years found themselves without a job. One person who is in his 60s spoke with me about how he’s struggling to find work. I told him this: “You can’t wallow in your misery. You can’t let the corporation run your life. If the corporation boots you out, then find something else to do. If they don’t want you, then find somebody who does. If your job no longer fits in this industry, then create a new job.” Mainly, I’m telling people don’t quit, and don’t let the company—whether it’s Sony, Warner, Disney or DreamWorks—don’t let them run your life. If they kick you out, and one day they will, because they always do, don’t take that as the end.

You’re in charge of your life, not the corporation. That’s why I said, “Screw the corporation.” Always remember—it’s not over until you say it’s over.

#startups #text #startup #advice #busieness #howto #news #tech #love

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pat78701 · 8 years ago

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44 Leaders, Legislators And Artists Sum Up Trump's First 100 Days

In October 2016, before Donald Trump defeated Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton, he outlined a plan of all the things he hoped to accomplish during his first 100 days in office.

But in the wake of failure and unfulfilled promises as his 100th day approaches, the president has changed his tune. Last week, he criticized “the ridiculous standard” of the first 100 days, slamming the deadline in one sentence.

No matter how much I accomplish during the ridiculous standard of the first 100 days, & it has been a lot (including S.C.), media will kill!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 21, 2017

To mark the milestone, HuffPost asked lawmakers, activists, lobbyists and influencers to offer their own (roughly) one-sentence takes on Trump’s first 100 days.

Here are the responses, which have been lightly edited for clarity and style:

Khizr Khan, Gold Star father

“Every action and word of Trump has [a] foul stench of political expediency and self-aggrandizing, total lack of moral compass and leadership.”

Rep. Ted Lieu (D-Calif.)

“President Trump has spent his first 100 days lying to the American people about issues both great and small, refusing to disclose his tax returns or address fears about his campaign’s ties to Russia, struggling to advance a coherent foreign policy strategy and failing to guarantee affordable health coverage for all Americans ... #sad!”

Patrisse Cullors, co-founder of Black Lives Matter

“45 has proven to be one of the most dangerous human beings on the planet; we must resist his regime and build a movement in the millions.”

Cathy Heller, one of the women who accused Trump of sexual misconduct

“[The first 100 days] are as bad as I thought they’d be. I am a bit relieved that some of his efforts — the travel ban, his health care bill — have been stymied so far, but those fights are not over.”

Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.)

“Evolving.”

Philip Ellender, president of government and public affairs at Koch Industries

“We’re encouraged by the administration’s work to rein in burdensome and unnecessary regulatory overreach that has stifled innovation and has added unnecessary costs to goods and services that Americans rely on every day.”

Michael Mann, climate scientist

“Back in October, I wrote that Donald Trump is a threat to the planet, and what we have seen in his first 100 days of office — denying the threat of climate change, hiring climate deniers and fossil fuel industry lobbyists to fill key administrative roles, and issuing executive orders aimed at dismantling the progress of the past eight years — reaffirms that.”

Aasif Mandvi, actor

“It’s been 100 days. I can’t believe it’s only been 100 days. I thought he was going to take a year to start showing signs of demagoguery.”

Fr. James Martin, editor-at-large of America magazine and consultant to the Vatican’s Secretariat for Communication

“I hope that the president might consider the needs of those he used to call ‘losers’ ― in this case, those who have lost out at the hands of the economy: the poor, the homeless, the unemployed, the sick and the uninsured.”

Sheryl Crow, singer-songwriter

“There’s been an arc of betrayal, chaos, manipulation and ignorance.”

Richard Cohen, president of the Southern Poverty Law Center

“President Trump has proven in his first 100 days that the economic populism of his campaign was fake, but that the racism and xenophobia were very real. His support for the health care bill showed his indifference to the fate of those trying to make ends meet. At the same time, he’s pressed a far-right agenda targeting immigrants, Muslims, the LGBT community and others who are vulnerable.”

Tom Perriello, Democratic candidate for governor of Virginia

“It is hard to decide whether his supporters, whom I meet with often on the trail, are more disheartened by President Trump’s sheer incompetence, his ties to Russia, or his failure to focus on jobs, but this toxic trifecta means about the most positive review I hear is, ‘Give him a bit more time.’”

April Reign, activist who created #OscarsSoWhite

“Trump’s first 100 days have been harrowing and bear witness that we must challenge him and his administration at every turn by continuing to fight for justice and equity for all marginalized communities.”

Rep. Luis Gutiérrez (D-Ill.)

“About as bad as could be expected from a team of misogynist, climate-change denying, anti-immigration, billionaire civil rights opponents, but we better be ready for even worse to come.”

Ben Cohen, activist and co-founder of Ben & Jerry’s

“It’s clear now that ‘Drain the Swamp’ really meant ‘Suck up all the morally bankrupt billionaires, Wall Street executives, and special-interest pond scum, and then pump them into the White House with a fire hose.’”

Raed Saleh, leader of Syrian rescue group the White Helmets

“After President Obama failed to uphold his ‘red line’ and let [Syrian President Bashar Assad] put Syria into a six-year spiral of horror and destruction, Syrians have found hope in President Trump’s resolve to reassert the international community’s intolerance towards the use of chemical weapons. We now wait to see if he will lead the international effort to help protect Syrians from other brutal regime tactics, and to help build a democratic alternative to the brutality and extremism of both Assad and ISIS.”

Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.)

“Promises to working families: either broken or unfulfilled.”

Former Rep. John Tierney (D-Mass.), executive director at the Center for Arms Control and Non-Proliferation

“To date, President Trump’s nuclear policy can only be described as consistently inconsistent. After 100 days with the nuclear codes, it’s still not clear that the president understands the complexity of the nuclear threats facing the United States or that these threats cannot be mitigated through tweeting.”

Kathy Griffin, comedian

“During the first 100 days, there’s been never a better time to be a standup comic and never a scarier time to be a human on the planet of Earth.”

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.)

“President Trump’s first 100 days have been a disastrous parade of broken promises to working people, handouts to wealthy special interests, and deep damage to the health and economic security of America’s families.”

Rob Delaney, comedian and co-creator of Amazon’s “Catastrophe”

“Seen from space, Trump’s first 100 days has been a muddled but steady effort to lay the groundwork to redistribute the nation’s wealth from the bottom 99 percent to the top 1 percent, with him and his grotesque family astride the foul summit (with a side order of bigotry).”

Raffi Freedman-Gurspan, director of external relations for the National Center for Transgender Equality

“The Trump administration has taken malicious and harmful actions against several minority groups over the last 100 days, including attacking one of the nation’s most vulnerable populations by rescinding Title IX guidance that clarified how to create safe and affirming environments for transgender children.”

Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.)

“Bad for children, mothers, workers, immigrants, women’s health, LGBTQ rights and national security, just to name a few.”

Peter Neffenger, former administrator of the Transportation Security Administration

“Although a new administrator has not yet been nominated, I’m glad to see that the transformative changes we began continue to move forward, particularly with respect to partnering with the private sector to develop and deploy new security technologies through the TSA Innovation Task Force, coupled with continued focus and coordination on public area security.”

Chuck Jones, president of United Steelworkers Local 1999

“Donald Trump’s delusional.”

Al Madrigal, comedian and former correspondent on “The Daily Show”

“It’s been a shockingly horrible disaster ― he’s gone back on so many promises that I can’t believe the people in his base that put him in office can continue to support him, considering that he hasn’t done a thing that he’s promised to do. But what do I know? I’m just some idiot comedian.”

Jonathan Gruber, economics professor at MIT

“Trump’s first 100 days showed that democracy still functions as long as there are truth-telling organizations out there like the CBO ― and highlighted the key dependence of our government on those institutions.”

Richard Carmona, U.S. surgeon general from 2002-2006

“A perception of unpredictable entropy, chaos, confusion and alternate facts have so far infected the beltway. America is better than this, let’s show the world who we really are!”

Tamika Mallory, national co-chair of the Women’s March on Washington

“We need to continue to use our voices to push back on the harmful policies and rhetoric of this administration, because the imminent threat that communities are up against is something too great to ignore.”

Andy Slavitt, former acting administrator of the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services under President Barack Obama

“Trump’s relationship to the presidency so far seems like my relationship with dieting ― he wants the results without doing the hard work.”

Melissa Etheridge, singer-songwriter

“It has solidified and brought to the surface even more the importance of diversity and how diversity is challenging and fearful to some. Being on the other side of diversity — being the diverse part of diversity — that means it is my job to take that freedom, to take that responsibility and to respect and love myself and to stand in my truth with it and show that the only way to get out of this mess is by understanding and believing that diversity is what makes us stronger.”

Tom Colicchio, “Top Chef” host and co-founder of FoodPolicyAction.org

“The first hundred days of any presidency comes with a steep learning curve … unfortunately, this instance has been a classic example of ‘You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.’”

Neil Gaiman, author of American Gods

“I think it’s making things more urgent. I don’t know if we’re getting better art, I don’t know if we’re getting more art. But the art we are getting feels more urgent.”

Sarah Kate Ellis, president and CEO of GLAAD

“100 days of Trump translates into 100 days of erasure for the LGBTQ community ― from the census exclusion, to rescinding Obama’s guidance for trans youth in schools, and lack of any LGBTQ mentions on the White House website, he has spent the early days of his administration trying to remove us from the very fabric of this country, and we must resist.”

Sen. Mike Rounds (R-S.D.)

“Major issue: Supreme Court nominee is approved. It’s one of the reasons why he got elected.”

Tom Toro, New Yorker cartoonist

“Despite countless pathetic failures during his first 100 days in office, Trump can point to one great accomplishment: He has inspired a record number of people to become politically engaged artists. The spontaneous creativity of the Resistance, led by ordinary citizens expressing themselves with extraordinary imagination, has grown day by day to become the most powerful cultural force of the century, and it ― not Trump’s vacuous, vain avarice ― will shape the future of our nation.”

Rep. Jared Polis (D-Colo.)

“With regards to marijuana policy, we need the Trump administration to stop sending mixed messages filled with backtracks and flat out flip-flops. We need to take the marijuana sector out of a grey zone and into a legitimate one.”

Kelly Garvy, founder of Protecting Progress in Durham

“Trump lies and embarrasses himself and the country on a daily basis, but for the past 100 days, I have forged new relationships and friendships with wonderful people in my community ― and we are ready for 2018.”

María Teresa Kumar, founding president and CEO of Voto Latino

“From immigration to health care, the president’s agenda is the antithesis of a forward-looking nation, with the potential to take us back to our country’s darkest days.”

Rep. Chris Collins (R-N.Y.)

“Two words: Neil Gorsuch.”

Joycelyn Elders, U.S. surgeon general from 1993 to 1994

“While the POTUS may be a genius, he would greatly benefit by listening to the informed ideas of authorities in health care, education and human rights in order to bring motivation and hope to all.”

Ian Kerner, relationship counselor and sex therapist

“Whereas in the Obama era, ‘sexual cliteracy’ was on the rise and the ‘orgasm gap’ between men and women had been closing, I am now seeing a rise in sexual complaints from women about men who are woefully ill-cliterate. Sadly, the ‘Viva La Vulva’ years are over.”

Heems, rapper

“It’s been really rough. I can say from a community perspective a lot of South Asians are much more worried about their reality.”

Lewis Black, comedian

“It feels like two and a half years. Two and a half years is what it feels like.”

Multiple HuffPost reporters contributed to this story.

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

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stormdoors78476 · 8 years ago

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44 Leaders, Legislators And Artists Sum Up Trump's First 100 Days

In October 2016, before Donald Trump defeated Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton, he outlined a plan of all the things he hoped to accomplish during his first 100 days in office.

No matter how much I accomplish during the ridiculous standard of the first 100 days, & it has been a lot (including S.C.), media will kill!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 21, 2017

To mark the milestone, HuffPost asked lawmakers, activists, lobbyists and influencers to offer their own (roughly) one-sentence takes on Trump’s first 100 days.

Here are the responses, which have been lightly edited for clarity and style:

Khizr Khan, Gold Star father

“Every action and word of Trump has [a] foul stench of political expediency and self-aggrandizing, total lack of moral compass and leadership.”

Rep. Ted Lieu (D-Calif.)

Patrisse Cullors, co-founder of Black Lives Matter

“45 has proven to be one of the most dangerous human beings on the planet; we must resist his regime and build a movement in the millions.”

Cathy Heller, one of the women who accused Trump of sexual misconduct

Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.)

“Evolving.”

Philip Ellender, president of government and public affairs at Koch Industries

Michael Mann, climate scientist

Aasif Mandvi, actor

“It’s been 100 days. I can’t believe it’s only been 100 days. I thought he was going to take a year to start showing signs of demagoguery.”

Fr. James Martin, editor-at-large of America magazine and consultant to the Vatican’s Secretariat for Communication

Sheryl Crow, singer-songwriter

“There’s been an arc of betrayal, chaos, manipulation and ignorance.”

Richard Cohen, president of the Southern Poverty Law Center

Tom Perriello, Democratic candidate for governor of Virginia

April Reign, activist who created #OscarsSoWhite

Rep. Luis Gutiérrez (D-Ill.)

“About as bad as could be expected from a team of misogynist, climate-change denying, anti-immigration, billionaire civil rights opponents, but we better be ready for even worse to come.”

Ben Cohen, activist and co-founder of Ben & Jerry’s

Raed Saleh, leader of Syrian rescue group the White Helmets

Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.)

“Promises to working families: either broken or unfulfilled.”

Former Rep. John Tierney (D-Mass.), executive director at the Center for Arms Control and Non-Proliferation

Kathy Griffin, comedian

“During the first 100 days, there’s been never a better time to be a standup comic and never a scarier time to be a human on the planet of Earth.”

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.)

Rob Delaney, comedian and co-creator of Amazon’s “Catastrophe”

Raffi Freedman-Gurspan, director of external relations for the National Center for Transgender Equality

Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.)

“Bad for children, mothers, workers, immigrants, women’s health, LGBTQ rights and national security, just to name a few.”

Peter Neffenger, former administrator of the Transportation Security Administration

Chuck Jones, president of United Steelworkers Local 1999

“Donald Trump’s delusional.”

Al Madrigal, comedian and former correspondent on “The Daily Show”

Jonathan Gruber, economics professor at MIT

Richard Carmona, U.S. surgeon general from 2002-2006

“A perception of unpredictable entropy, chaos, confusion and alternate facts have so far infected the beltway. America is better than this, let’s show the world who we really are!”

Tamika Mallory, national co-chair of the Women’s March on Washington

Andy Slavitt, former acting administrator of the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services under President Barack Obama

“Trump’s relationship to the presidency so far seems like my relationship with dieting ― he wants the results without doing the hard work.”

Melissa Etheridge, singer-songwriter

Tom Colicchio, “Top Chef” host and co-founder of FoodPolicyAction.org

“The first hundred days of any presidency comes with a steep learning curve … unfortunately, this instance has been a classic example of ‘You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.’”

Neil Gaiman, author of American Gods

“I think it’s making things more urgent. I don’t know if we’re getting better art, I don’t know if we’re getting more art. But the art we are getting feels more urgent.”

Sarah Kate Ellis, president and CEO of GLAAD

Sen. Mike Rounds (R-S.D.)

“Major issue: Supreme Court nominee is approved. It’s one of the reasons why he got elected.”

Tom Toro, New Yorker cartoonist

Rep. Jared Polis (D-Colo.)

Kelly Garvy, founder of Protecting Progress in Durham

María Teresa Kumar, founding president and CEO of Voto Latino

“From immigration to health care, the president’s agenda is the antithesis of a forward-looking nation, with the potential to take us back to our country’s darkest days.”

Rep. Chris Collins (R-N.Y.)

“Two words: Neil Gorsuch.”

Joycelyn Elders, U.S. surgeon general from 1993 to 1994

Ian Kerner, relationship counselor and sex therapist

Heems, rapper

“It’s been really rough. I can say from a community perspective a lot of South Asians are much more worried about their reality.”

Lewis Black, comedian

“It feels like two and a half years. Two and a half years is what it feels like.”

Multiple HuffPost reporters contributed to this story.

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

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#DIYS

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