#come on grandma your language is worse than mine :(

[frankie-the-bad-guy-lupelli]

Frankie is havin’ a rough week. Cockroach Sunday, art supply problems yesterday and now this morning I tripped over Grandma’s cat and caught my pinkie toe on the edge of the coffee table. Then Grandma smacked me for foul language while I was fussing about my little toe. :(

[hyuckssunchip]

Reputation

Pairings: Johnny x Reader, ft. nct 127

Words: 4.3K

Warnings: Language (there is almost always language in my writings), angst, some fluff

Request:  Angst 42 and 48 ➵ “You promised.” “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t leave.” / @jungcherie​

(im so sorry i took so long.... i turned a drabble into a story... oops)​

Johnny Suh had a reputation that was unmatched.

There was no other way to put it.

And a reputation like his left trails of tears.

A pool of tears that you were currently drowning in.

It was obvious Johnny was dangerous, perhaps that’s why you were drawn to him. While every single one of your instincts had you fighting and rejecting him, you were desperate for him all the more.

It was March 13th that you lost your first will.

“Y/N, right?”

You turned around to find a familiar face towering over you.

“Yeah.” 

It was that stupid smile that had you. 

“Hey, we have have Communications together. I was wondering if you wanted to do that project together?” He scratched the back of his neck like he was embarrassed. “I just know that you’re insanely smart so... Sorry, wait, that sounds like I’m just talking to you for your grades.”

You giggled nervously, a habit that you did when you were uncomfortable.

“Look, I just... do you? You know, wanna do the project together? I mean, I’m a pretty smooth talker so I can do the presentation. I get good grades too...”

Stupid smile.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright. There’s actually a little party at my frat tonight, you maybe wanna come? Get to know each other before we drown in work?” 

Fucking stupid smile.

“Yeah. I’d like that.” You blushed at the idea, cursing at yourself for being so obvious. 

Parties weren’t really your thing. 

But at the time Johnny Suh was.

Your ears were pounding because of the insanely loud level the music was at. You were actually shocked that no one had called the cops with a noise complaint, but the fact that they were on frat row made more sense.

“Y/N. You made it.” A arm was flung over your shoulder and, thankfully the lights were both dim and flashing enough that he couldn’t see the way that you blushed at the action.

“Yeah. Is it always this loud?” You asked, still not so comfortable with the atmosphere.

“What?” Johnny yelled, pointing at his ear, indicating that he couldn’t hear you. Of course he fucking couldn’t. Then he jerked his thumb to the right, nodding at the backyard, which was seemingly empty.

With his hand placed on your back, he guided you outside, your head already thanking him from the escape of noise pollution. It was far better outside of the house.

The two of you collapsed onto the swinging chair, sighing as you cleared your head.

“So parties aren’t really your thing?” Johnny leaned closer, noting the look of relief that you had donned the moment you exited.

“It’s not that I hate them... I’m just not a fan. I mean a bunch of sweaty, horny drunk people grinding on each other. I just like smaller things.” You explained, staring up at the dark sky, shivering slightly at the cool breeze.

“You didn’t have to come.” Johnny suddenly looked guilty, “I didn’t mean to force you into coming, I just... thought I’d invite you.”

You quickly backtracked, “No, you didn’t force me. If I didn’t want to come, I wouldn’t have.” You ignored the voice in the back of your head that begged to differ.

“Right.” He grinned, as if he could read your mind. “You’re not great at lying, but I’m gonna pretend that I believe you.”

You felt your cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

“Were you playing beer pong?” You asked suddenly, causing him to look at you in confusion.

“Yeah, how’d you know?”

You laughed, looking away from him, “You have quite the reputation Mr. Suh, even someone like me knows the extent of your skills.”

Johnny smirked, liking how easy you were making it for him. “Is that so? Is that the only skill of mine you’ve heard about?”

You raised your eyebrows, hating the turn that your mind took. “W-what kind of other skills did you have in mind?” You stuttered out.

Suddenly it felt like you were caged in, his arms tense around your frame, causing you to lean back against the back of the swing.

“Tell me what you’ve heard.” 

You averted your eyes, unable to take his heavy gaze. His eyes had turned dark, full of lust, and you tried desperately to forget the effect they were having on you.

As if sensing how uncomfortable you were getting, he backed off, dusting off some invisible dirt on his shoulder. He cocked his head to the side with a sly smile, happy with a new challenge. 

Things weren’t going to be as easy as he thought they were, but that’s what made it fun.

“No that’s so stupid. Are you kidding me? Robin could absolutely never beat Batman. Is that even a question?” Your hands were waving animately, far too much for an argument about fictional superheroes.

“Sure. I’m just saying that Robin could totally catch him off guard, like out of the blue, you know.” Johnny slurped on his drink shrugging his shoulders like he didn’t care. 

“No. Absolutely not. First of all Robin doesn’t have the guts to do something like that and second of all Robin doesn’t have any powers. How on Earth would he beat him?”

“Umm... Batman doesn’t have powers either.” He made a duh face at you, which you chose to ignore.

“Yeah, well he’s got money, and that’s basically a super power.”

“Let’s be real, Batman isn’t even really a real superhero. He’s just a hero. Period.” 

You huffed, rolling your eyes at the argument. “That’s a whole different story.”

“I’m just saying.” He sang back teasingly.

“And I’m just saying that this is stupid. How did we even get here?” You laughed, trying to remember how this conversation came about.

“Uh, you made the bold choice of saying that the Batman vs. Superman movie was shit. Very controversial by the way.” He frowned at the memory.

You let your bag fall heavily on the library table, earning you a few glares as studying students dug into their books.

You sent an apologetic look before sliding into your seat. “Let’s just get this presentation done. Our presentation date is the 23rd and I don’t even have a clue of what to write it on.”

“Well the topic is influencers that change your life. Do you have anyone in mind?”He asked, flipping through his notebook, which didn’t really have anything but drawings in them.

“Not really, is there anyone for you? I mean influencer is kind of vague isn’t it? We could pick like an athlete too, or a musician. Those are technically influencers right?”

He nodded, resting his chin on his hand. “Yeah. Influencers don’t even have to be famous do they? Like they can just be someone in your life that made a huge impact on you. Like your parents or something.”

“Yeah, I guess. But that’s kind of hard when you’re working in groups. Like you’re not gonna want to talk about my grandma, you know. Like you don’t even know her. It’s probably just easier to use a famous icon.”

“Okay, so who?” He leaned back in his chair, staring at the ceiling like it would give him inspiration. 

“Hmmm... maybe we could do someone like Michael Jackson. Like he may not have affected us personally, but he affected the way that the music and performance was seen afterwards. That’s influential and life changing right?”

“I guess.” He cocked his head, “We could at least start with brainstorming ideas for him and then if we feel like it’s not working we can change it.”

“Cool. I guess we can start with that then.”

And you did. You spent every afternoon for the next week and half with each other in the library, and a little more outside of it.

“That one’s the big dipper.” 

You grinned following his finger, but had more difficulty finding exactly what he saw. 

“How do you know it’s not the little dipper?” You teased, squinting in to the dark, the scattered stars really just looking like paint splatters to you.

“Because that’s the little dipper.” He laughed, moving his index finger slightly to the right.

“Oh.” 

Johnny leaned back into your space, smiling at you look of concentration quickly falling as you gave up.

“Where’s the North Star?” You asked turning to face him, but sucking in a harsh breath when you found your nose just centimeters from his. 

Johnny lowered his voice, whispering and pointing without even turning away, “Right there, it’s the tail of the little dipper.”

It took more effort than you thought to pull away, eyes searching for it.

He leaned back, resting his body weight on his hands. “See it? It’s the brightest one.”

“No,” You pouted scooting forward, as if that would help you see it. “Oh, wait! I see it!”

Johnny couldn’t stop himself from grinning as he saw your face light up.

“Wow.” Suddenly your tone turned more mellow, still in awe. “I’ve always wanted to find the North Star.”

Johnny’s chest rumbled with laughter. “Why?”

“Well you know. They say if you get lost, just follow the North Star home.” You turned to face him, eyes sparkling with excitement, but the sound of your voice had gone quiet, almost somber. The smile on your face faded into a sad smile as you all but whispered your next words. “Now I can go home.”

Johnny frowned next to you, not liking the sudden turn in mood. He sat up, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and pulling you against his chest.

“What makes you think that you’re not home right now?” He mumbled on the top of your head, staring straight out in the dark.

“I don’t know. I can just feel it, you know? Like I’m just constantly uneasy.” You sighed, digging your face into his jacket. “I think I’ll be able to tell when I get there.”

There was something in Johnny’s chest that suddenly ached, and he felt a sharp drop in his stomach at the thought.

“Maybe you’ll only ever know once you’ve left home.” He muttered, “Then you’ll know that this is actually what it feels like, and it’s so much worse when you leave.”

You stilled against him for a moment before relaxing, mulling over the thought. “That’s so sad though. Why do we only know we’re happy once we’re sad?”

Johnny shook his head slowly. “I don’t know. Why does God make us hurt to only to help us heal?”

The sound of the wind passing through trees was the only thing that comforted you at the thought.

“I don’t want to have to heal, I don’t want to hurt in the first place.” You whisper out, feeling the most vulnerable you had in a long time.

“I’ll never hurt you.” He rubbed at your arms soothingly, feeling a lump in the back of his throat, but he pushed it away not liking the unfamiliar feeling.

“Promise?”

“Of course.”

You let your eyes fall, enjoying just the silence and comfort of each other’s arms and minds.

You woke up wrapped in Johnny’s arms, although it was an unfamiliar feeling you welcomed it with open arms. 

Lost in your thoughts for the time being you were suddenly reminded of the conversation you had a couple nights ago. 

Was this home?

You had never felt so safe before and it scared you. But you weren’t one to run.

“Good morning.” Johnny mumbled out beside you, his morning voice raspy to the ear.

“Morning.” You whispered back, letting his arm flop over your waist.

“Do you like pancakes?” He asked, letting his eyes fall close again.

“Pancakes?” 

“Yeah. Taeyong makes some bomb ass pancakes.” 

You giggled, “Yeah, I like pancakes. Especially bomb ass pancakes.”

But he didn’t move and it was only after you tapped him questioningly did he speak up. “Do you think he’ll bring them up if I yell loud enough?”

You smacked his chest. “Stop it. We should go down.”

“In a bit.” He answered, nose buried deep in the crevice of your neck.

A few minutes later you heard the clinking of kitchen tools from downstairs and you stirred. “Johnny?”

“Hmmm...”

“Johnny. Let’s go.”

“Five more minutes.” He mumbled, but he let you out of his grasp anyways.  

“Fine. I’ll meet you downstairs.” You paused as you passed by the mirror, eyes tracing over the marks on your neck that Johnny had left the night before. You blushed, realizing that you didn’t have anything to cover it up with, but quickly moved on, attempting to find your shorts that were discarded in the frenzy of last night.

“Check under the desk.” Johnny said, sitting up and watching you.

Sure enough that’s where they were, although you weren’t really sure how they managed to get there. 

You shrugged on the last of your clothes, turning to find Johnny doing the same. It took him less than three steps to get to you, landing a soft kiss on the top of your head. 

“Let’s go.”

Taeyong was undoubtedly the closest of Johnny’s frat brothers to you. He had this really calming and sweet aura about him that just made you want to be friends. 

“Good morning Y/N. Blueberry or chocolate?” He asked grinning as he took his eyes off the pan for a second. 

“Blueberry please.” You slid onto the bar across from him. “Do you need any help?”

Johnny rubbed your lower back comfortingly, “No, you don’t want to get in his way. That’s when he loses his temper.” He whispered the last bit to you, but Taeyong obviously heard it, sending a sharp glare at him.

“Only when there are incompetent people in my kitchen.” Taeyong muttered back.

Johnny ignored the comment, shaking his head at you, “I’ll have chocolate.”

“You’ll get what you get.” Taeyong piped at him, still not over Johnny’s teasing, who grinned in response. 

Both of them knew that Johnny was getting chocolate, Taeyong was really bad at being mean.

“Where’s the others?” Johnny asked, sipping on a cup of coffee.

“At school, as they should be because they are college students.” Taeyong answered, sliding a plate towards you. “Enjoy.”

You thanked him and bit into a piece, almost moaning at the taste. “Damn, Johnny told me they were good but I didn’t think it would be this good.”

Johnny swiped a piece from your plate. “What are you talking about? I told you he made bomb ass pancakes.” 

Taeyong slid a plate towards Johnny.

His grin widened. “Thank you. You’re my favorite Taeyong ever.”

“I’m the only Taeyong you know.” He put his hands on his hips. “I should be the favorite.”

Johnny sent a wink in his direction before stabbing a piece. 

“So I was thinking, that little bakery next to the park, do you wanna go? They just opened and I’ve been dying to try it.” Johnny asked around a mouthful of pancake.

“Yeah, sure. That sounds good.” You felt your stomach flutter, you were sure whether it was the pancakes or Johnny, but you had a pretty good guess. 

“Sweet, we can swing by your place first if you want to get a change of clothes or something.” 

You nodded, “Yeah, sounds good.”

“I’m glad that sounds good.” He teased you with a smile.

“Sorry, but it just sounds good. What else do you want me to say?” You pushed back, opting to add another piece into your mouth.

“I don’t know, maybe-”

“Okay, sorry to interrupt your little flirt fest, but can you start that after I leave?” Taeyong asked, making a few pancakes for himself.

“Sorry.” You giggled, sending him a genuine apologetic look.

“I’m not sorry.” Johnny said, shrugging.

You smacked him lightly.

“I’ll take away pancake privileges for a month.” Taeyong quipped, focusing on flipping the pancake.

“Sorry.” Johnny mumbled out under his breath, not one to admit defeat easily.

You laughed at the sight of a pouty Johnny, enjoying the view for the time being.

Waiting for Johnny had become a routine, but honestly you didn’t really mind it. Hanging out on the couch, you had met and befriended quite a few of his frat brothers. 

Currently you were sprawled out on the couch with Jungwoo, who was retelling a very interesting story about his trip to the grocery store last week that involved a cereal box and a banana. Although it was a bit of a reach, you nodded and smiled at the right times, not really following the order of events, or really the importance of them.

“What does the fact that you were wearing- and I quote - ‘an incredibly sick pair of joggers’ have anything to do with your story?” You asked, tilting your head in teasing confusion.

“Oh, it doesn’t. I just thought you should know.” He replied matter-of-factly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Right. And I’m so better off now that I know.” You taunted him, voice dripping in sarcasm.

Jungwoo shot you an annoyed, and yet hurt look, before finishing his story. “And that’s how Johnny found out he was allergic to shellfish.”

“Okay. What the fuck? I’m literally so confused.” You cut him off before he could recount his story again. “I don’t really need to hear it again though. Thanks.”

He whined before laying his legs over yours, giving up.

For a few moments, things were quiet as you checked the time. It had already been thirty minutes, where was he?

You rolled your head to the side, finally focusing on the whiteboard that had what scribbles of writing over it. 

“What’s the tally for?” You asked, scrunching your nose at the whiteboard that was situated on the far wall of the room.

“Hmmm? The tally?” Jungwoo glanced around looking slightly nervous which had you even more curious. “It’s just a game.”

“Game? What game?” You laughed turning back to see the strikes adorning the board. “It looks like Johnny’s winning.”

“Uhh...” Again with the nervous glances.

You giggled, “You’re losing, aren’t you?” The spot under his name had the fewest tallies and you figured that’s why he was being so shy about it.

Jaehyun entered the room, seemingly in a very important conversation by the way that he was speaking animatedly.

“The game’s over on Friday and Johnny’s gonna win.” 

“That’s so stupid. He hasn’t bagged any since Y/N, how is he still gonna win?” Yuta complained all but scowling at the floor, neither of them had yet to notice your presence.

You frowned at the mention of your name, not liking the term ‘bagging’ to be in such close proximity with your name.

“Oh, Mark has a new strike, looks like he finally got Claire into bed.” Yuta continued snorting, “Took him long enough.”

“Wait, what the fuck? How the hell did Taeyong get two strikes?” Jaehyun, squinted at the board.

Yuta snorted, “He had a threesome last night. Can you believe it? This close to the end? It’s like he’s actually trying to compete now.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” You muttered, effectively catching their attention.

“Y/N.” Jaehyun breathed out, eyes wide and darting between you and Jungwoo who was obviously trying to get them to stop talking. “Hey... what’s up? When did you get here?”

“Ummm.... no. What the fuck is going on?”

“What do you mean?” Jaehyun cocked his head, doing his best to pretend like he wasn’t panicking.

“No, I don’t want your bullshit. Just tell me what this game is.” You were using anger to hide your fear. You could feel the pounding of your heart in your head, a throbbing sensation that gave way to a sinking feeling of realization. 

At that moment, when his eyes finally met yours. Not Jaehyun’s, not Yuta’s, but Johnny’s as he walked in the room with that fucking stupid smile you felt your last will got out the window. It was at that moment that everything came crashing down. 

“Y/N, please can’t we just talk?” Johnny chased after you, begging you to turn around.

“You promised.”

Johnny’s heart dropped at your words, and his chest started closing in in fear. The burning feeling in his throat had him choking, panicking in belated realization.

It wasn’t just the words that you said, it was the way that you said it. So defeated, so broken. So betrayed.

“You promised that you wouldn’t hurt me. Do you remember that? Did you even mean that?” You felt the tears brimming, and you fought the best you could to keep them down. But your wobbling voice let him know.

“Of course I meant it.” He answered breathlessly. “You know me, I don’t say things that I don’t mean.”

“Do I? Do I know you?” You huffed out. “Because I really thought you were someone different.”

“No, I- I’m still me. I’m still Johnny. I just...”

“You just what? You just lied about our entire relationship? If it was even that, because I was just another tally to you wasn’t I? Just another tally on a stupid whiteboard for a stupid game.” 

You choked back the tears that were burning in your throat, not bothering to wipe at the ones that managed to escape.

��You know what hurts the most? I actually thought you liked me. I actually thought that you meant all those things that you said to me.”

“I did mean it. I meant every single word, and I still do. Nothing was a lie, my feelings were real. Please just listen to me, I can explain.” He stepped closer, but you took a step back, keeping the distance.

“Explain what? I already heard everything for myself. What are you gonna say, that Jaehyun and Yuta were lying? Hmmm? That it wasn’t a game? That that’s not the reason that you approached me?”

“I...” He couldn’t find any words, because you were right. Every single word that you said was right. He struggled to catch his breath, panicking. “Please don’t leave me.”

“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t leave.”

“I love you. I need you. I can’t- I can’t imagine life without you.”

“That’s not enough.” You clenched your jaw, face going slack. It was as if you were losing the will to even be heartbroken over this.

“Please, I-I’ll do anything, what do you want me to do?” He begged, eye brows nearly touching as they furrowed.

“I don’t want anything from you, just stay away from me.” You mumbled out, avoiding his eyes.

“Baby, please.”

“Don’t fucking call me that, I’m not yours, I never was.” You snapped at him, backing away.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled under his breath and he wasn’t sure if it was meant for you or himself.

“So I’m kinda going rogue here. I know you already hate me, but try not to hate me anymore than you already do.”

Johnny didn’t look anywhere except for you.

The professor seemed to humor him, allowing one of his favorite students to continue with an amused smile on his face.

You on the other hand did not. 

You stared at Johnny with a straight face, trying your best to not look flustered.

“The whole point of this assignment was to find someone that changed our lives. But my partner and I struggled to find someone. It’s not that we didn’t have great people around us, its not even that we don’t have people that we admired. It was because no one we came up with really seemed genuine to us. But I found someone. I finally found someone that I could trust, that I let in. But I did something really stupid and fucked it up- excuse my language.”

You watched him stand behind the podium, looking smaller than he ever did.

“You know, before I met you I didn’t think that my life needed changing. I thought I was doing just fine. But then I realized that I wasn’t. I was struggling to even feel normal, to feel like I was living for something. Y/N you helped me find home. Remember when I said that you only understand that you were already home until you lose it? Well I feel it now. And it feels like shit.”

You sucked in a sharp breath, a feeling in the back of your throat burning.

“Y/N. You’re the person who changed my life. And I don’t even deserve that. But I’m here, standing in front of you like a fool because I’m whining about losing the best thing that ever happened to me.” 

For a moment you thought he was done, because the silence was deafening.

“Even if you sill hate me after this, I want you to know that you mean more to me than anything else. You are the person that changed my life. You are my person, and I want so badly to be yours.”

There was a beat of silence as he ended abruptly, taking a seat on the other side of the room, eyes still locked on you.

Your professor stood up with a clap. “Well, thank you Johnny for that... interesting presentation.” A wide smile was still on his face despite his word choice. “I guess we should end on that then. Second batch of presentations is on Friday, please be prepared.”

The students of your class stood, shuffling out the exit, voices murmuring to each other. 

You sat on the bench outside your lecture hall, watching as Johnny made his way nervously to you.

“You’re an idiot.” You told him as he approached you, bottom lip wobbling against your will. Eventually you broke. “But you’re my idiot.”

Johnny felt a drop of relief in his stomach as he felt like his heart would burst.

“You’ve totally botched our presentation by the way. If we fail it it’s on you.” You shoved him away teasingly.

Johnny grinned, throwing his arm over your shoulder. 

“Yeah? Well, I think we did better than you think. I think that things are gonna turn out just fine.”

(sorry, i was supposed to write a full angst, but i couldn’t help myself.)

© Copyright 2021. hyuckssunchip. All rights reserved.

[borhap-au]

A hidden motif. 

“Kick harder!” he screamed, snapping me out of my thoughts. I immediately began to push myself further, even though I was already exhausted from the hour-long training. Billy didn’t treat me leniently at all. He demanded a lot from me, honestly, I often felt like I was the only one who was pushed to the limits by him. The rest had it much easier with Billy. Now he held the punching bag, as I was repeatedly kicking it.

“They won’t go easy on you! When you fight, you fight for your life! They won’t care that you’re tired!” he continued, and I stopped myself from kicking him “by accident,” and just continued to kick the bag. I knew where he was coming from and he was right. My exhaustion wouldn’t matter on a mission, nobody would ask me how I felt and if I still had the strength to fight back. They would simply kill me, or imprison me, and since we’re talking about terrorists, I wasn’t sure which option would be worse. But today I had enough. I really only wanted to lay down in bed, in full clothing, and fall asleep. Nothing mattered, not even my empty stomach. I just wanted to close my eyes and drift off, but Billy continued to push.

“You wouldn’t knock a ninety year old grandma over with that kick!” he attacked my technique and honestly, at this point I had enough of him and his denouncing language. Whatever I did was wrong in his view, he never felt satisfied with me and what I was doing. So I stopped kicking, threw the boxing gloves on the mat and just exhaled loudly.

“And I wouldn’t want to! What a monster would want to hurt a grandma? Probably the same who wouldn’t give a girl who barely has the strength to stand on her feet a fucking break!” I shouted in his face and turned around. He quickly grabbed me by my wrist to stop me.

“Leave me alone,” I continued, but this time I wasn’t screaming. I was exhausted and the tone of my voice confirmed it. I felt resigned, mad, and disappointed in myself. I couldn’t understand why I could never, no matter what, meet his standards and expectations.

“I want to go drink some water,” I said and turned my head to look him in the eyes. His face was dangerously close to mine as he looked at me with a firm look on his face. He wanted to say something, probably tell me that the training session isn’t over until he says it’s over, but I didn’t allow him to speak. I didn’t feel like long speeches, I didn’t want to explain myself to him. My message was clear, short and quick.

“Go fuck yourself, Billy,” I said and took my hand away. He wasn’t holding me firmly, he wasn’t trying to hurt me, just wanted to stop me so that he could express his views to my face instead of my back, however, I didn’t allow for it. Not anymore, not today. Today was over, as far as I was concerned, and only my opinion mattered to me.

Billy was so surprised by what he’s heard, he didn’t even answer. I went across the room to the table and took one of the water bottles, then gulped down half of it. He looked at me without saying a word for a solid second.

“Alright, you had your drink, and you’ve thrown your tantrum, now we can get back to the training,” he insisted, but I only smiled ironically, took my things and left the room.

“Goodnight, Billy,” I said on my way out and didn’t stop to listen to what he wanted to say to me. As I promised my body, I went straight to bed, only gathering the little energy I had left to take my clothes off, so I didn’t sleep in my own sweat. I slept for a solid 12 hours after that. I had to get all of my strength back and frankly, sleeping helped a lot. However, I still felt sore, my whole body was screaming for a pill to ease the pain. I barely managed to finish taking a shower. I ate a big breakfast and grabbed a soda. I got out in front of my trailer, sat on an old couch, and just rested.

Meanwhile Billy was confronted by the rest of the team over his harsh methods. They saw me yesterday coming back to the trailer, but none of them dared to disturb me. They knew it wasn’t the first time Billy pushed me to check the limits. This time even he knew he went too far. So he came to me, asked if he could sat down on the couch, and when I refused, still mad from yesterday, he simply sat on the ground in front of me. The view was quite endearing.

“Listen… I wanted to apologize. I know I went too far yesterday… and on a few other occasions. I didn’t mean for you to suffer, I just wanted to make 100% sure that if there’s a need, you will be able to protect yourself. I didn’t want you to ever find yourself in a situation where the opponent is stronger and has more resilience than you,” his voice was surprisingly soft. He sounded sincere.

“I’m already capable of protecting myself well enough. Thank you very much,” I said ironically and still a little mad from yesterday. Every inch of my body reminded me of how he treated me.

“No, you don’t understand. I NEED you to be safe,” his words almost shocked me. I looked at him with disbelief. Did he really mean it, I wondered.

“Why would you want that so badly? You don’t seem to treat any other member of the team so roughly,” I reminded him. I was salty about it and had a good reason for it.

“Because I don’t care for any other member of the team as much as I care about you,” he explained, but I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t say anything.

“Listen…” he continued. “I… really like you. And that one time, when that guy kicked you off the boat… I thought I lost you. I couldn’t bear the thought, so when you survived, I promised myself I’ll make sure you’ll never find yourself in a hopeless situation like that ever again. I can’t allow it, this job is too risky.” I was astonished. Deep down, I actually believed he hated me. He acted as if he did, that’s for sure. But he did it all because he liked me? Because he was afraid I’d die?

“I’d actually prefer if you didn’t fight at all,” he added. “I’d take all the punches for you if you let me.” At this point he sounded crazy. What happened to the Billy I knew? I sighed quietly and made him some space on the couch. He made sure his trousers are clean and sat down with me, thanking me for allowing him to do that.

“What do you want from me, Billy?” I asked, unsure. I wasn’t sure of anything anymore, it was as if everything I knew up until this point just disappeared.

“Just be safe, that’s all,” he answered simply. I looked at him for a while.

“You told me you really like me and you’d take the punches for me and you expect me to just return to everyday life after this?” I asked with a little disbelief, since it was simply impossible.

“Well…” he looked as if he wanted to say more, but he just added: “I don’t know.” It clearly wasn’t enough. I slowly put my head on his shoulder. I was still mad and I was definitely planning to have a long talk about his behavior towards me and how many things needed changing moving forward. However, right now I had no strength, and he apologized for what he did, so I gave him a pass for today. We sat like that for a little longer, and neither of us said a word.

On the next training session, a few days later, when I already started feeling better, he was much more careful and lenient with me. He asked me how I felt several times and made sure I didn’t overwork myself. He gave me directions rather than orders and it really felt like I learnt much more from that approach.

Sometime later, I allowed him to ask me on a date. I never saw him so nervous and excited at the same time. We actually had surprisingly good time, so we had many more. He wasn’t rough or tough with me ever again. He explained in more detail how he only wanted me to be able to protect myself, and didn’t care if I hated him for it as long as I was safe. He was rather clumsy and awkward at times when it came to relationships, but it was rather sweet as well. So we continued dating, became official, and happened to be the best partners on the team, working together since that day on.

“Look out!” I screamed and Billy dodged a guy who I threw out of the boat to the water. He smiled and walked up to me, putting his arm around me.

“That was great. You look hot with all that power in your hands,” he commented with a smirk.

“You’re not going to tell me to go harder?” I asked and smirked as well.

“Not until we’re around other people, no,” he winked at me.

“You guys are disgusting,” we’ve heard One’s comment.

“Thank you,” I chuckled and Billy kissed my lips.

[natsukitakama]

Being in relationship with Zeke Yeager would include

*looking respectfully* 

Author note : I know some people aren’t quite found of him and I can understand. But I know some of you simp for him (me too don’t worry). I hope you’ll enjoy this. 

i do not own that gif I found it on google so credit to the owner (if you know them please let me know)

Warning : mention of spoiler if you haven’t season 2, 3 et 4 / slight nsfw cause I’m going to hell / fluffy because we derserve it 

Masterlist 

Annoying. Not in a bad way but this man can’t shut up, he always has something to tell just because he loves seeing you getting flustered or angry because of him. 

That’s just how he is. He loves teases people and get the most of them. It’s even worse with his S/O 

Typically if you want to kiss him (private or in public won’t matter although he might prefers being private about his relationship) he would litteraly make you beg for it. « Couldn’t you wait until we’re home ? So needy Y/N » 

Since he was educated to be a leader he is pretty god at reading people’s body language and won’t hesitate to use it on you. 

Not a surprise here you barely got a fight : the man barely loses his temper and since he can read you like an open book he knows exactly what to do to avoid situation like this. 

Nonetheless it doesn’t mean he can’t provide every argument. So yeah times to times you two fight, most of the time because you know he is hiding something from you, and everytime you confront him about it he just brushes if off telling you, you’re being paranoid or something. 

Although he got a huge ego so yeah he might act as if he was smarter than you and would tell you so.

He is kinda mean and cold and even though he is trying his best to cherish you, sometimes he says things he shouldn’t tell. It ends up with you crying or trying not to (but he can tell) and just leave him. 

Man he hates it. Everytime he got to see his grandparents and everytime they scold him for being an assholes to you. 

And everytime he could come back to you with a gift either a book that you might be interest on, flowers or even jewellery if you are into that. 

He would apologize for being a dick to you

100% end up making sweet love just to be sure he is forgiven (also because he misses your touch but shhh he has a reputation) 

Don’t lie to him. He would know. As I said before he can read people and especially your body’s language. It took you a long time before owning his trust, don’t give him reason to not trust you : it you want to say something tell him.

He is pretty blunt himself so he won’t mind and actually would love it if you are confident and comfortable enough with him to talk about anything

Like I said earlier he might want to be cautious with your relationship, not because he is ashamed or anything but he knows that not everyone loves him and he is afraid that they might use you against him as a threat. He can’t tolerate that (also because he will betray his own army, he doesn’t want you to get hurt or worst because of him) 

Yeah because you’re not a part of his plan, he never talked about anything related to his plan. 

It might surprise you but I don’t think he is actually good at flirting. He is pretty blunt and not that subtle, he won’t go as far as to say « I think you’re hot » on your first meeting but still you will notice that he was more talkative with you. 

Maybe it’s a fantaisie of mine but I think he would love send you letters : he tends to be more sensual while writing. You always got a letter when you start your day at work and if he couldn’t manage to be with you that or even call you during work, he’ll send you another one with flower to apologize. 

But he can be smooth when he wants to, especially when he is teasing you : that’s his way of flirting with you. He can’t help but feel like he has to tease you just to see you with a pout on your face. (His heart melt everytime he saw you like this) 

He tends to be more rough with his teasing if he is dating a male than a women, his grandma raise him to treat women like queen so he will oblige. 

He daydreams a lot about you, sometimes it’s just about you laying on his chest sleeping like a baby, he could literally feel your soft hair on his hands as he stroke them. Sometimes it’s more sensual, as he could easily remember the touch of your skin against his hands, the whimper that left your lips each time he is kissing you, sucking you, bitting you, the way you gripped his shoulder as he was pouding into your core relentless. 

It didn’t help that everything seemed to remember him of you, when he is drinking is usual coffee at 10 AM he got a memory of you cooking his breakfast whistling softly as you were happy to cook some meal for your man. When is having his tea after his lunch time the flower scent coming from his tea makes him of your perfume. His book and paper on his desk, reminds him of you when you’re overworking, claiming that your mess make actually sense for you and that no you weren’t just too lazy to clean up. 

If he claims himself to be good when it came to emotion and to keep everything for himself, his grand-parent noticed something about his behavior. He seemed more clean and presentable (not that it wasn’t the case but he wasn’t the one to take extra attention of his looks), he was more polite always trying to not swear or at least not that much, they noticed him looking somewhere as if he was looking for someone. 

Sometimes he calls you just to annoy his superior (cause he knows they survey him), just to talk about anything but especially to talk trash about some embarrassing things. But since he never used a name or something they never know if he was talking to you or someone he just slept with. Occasionally he would talk about embarrassing story about this superior, he knows he won’t be punished otherwise it would be a proof that he was telling the truth earlier. 

He is possessive not like Porco or Eren where they would let their anger scare the poor people trying to talk to you, he is smart enough to know when someone is hitting on you or when someone is just speaking to you. But still, he doesn’t like when he sees somebody being too touchy on you. How dare they ? He is commander, smart, handsome, strong and that poor people think they could challenge him ? 

During time like this after, kicking that poor person out of your way, he would take you home. Don’t ever think you leave this house, he won’t stop loving you until you can’t walk and the only thing you could remember is his own name. 

Be careful, Zeke is patient very patient. 

If you think he won’t edge you until you’re crying mess for release you’re wrong. He tends to tease you and make you beg to cum, so when he feels like he has to remind you who you belong to, one word can describe your night with him : intense (yeah because not only will he edge you but he’ll also overstimulate you and if you’re crying because it’s too much he would just look at you as if he was surprised « oh ? Too much ? But I thought you wanted to cum ?". 

He doens’t want children for multiple reason and he won’t like if you keep ask him about it : he doesn’t want to be a father please respect his decision. (He would try to explain to you his opinion so it won’t appear as a selfish decision) 

Some nights, he feels guilty for not explaining to you his plan, what he wants for future but he knows it’s for your own sake. You couldn’t take it and he is aware that he is not mean to last forever and than one day you would wake up and he won’t be there for you, he is already acting like a an asshole because he is taking your love while he knows he would die eventually (quicker than you he hopes), he won’t put any pressure because of his plan. 

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

😡🤬ANGER MANAGEMENT (PART 1)🤬😡

Prompt: Y/N has the life she’s always dreamed of: a good house, a nice car, a fat paycheck, her dream job and some loving friends. Her life feels like a fairytale...but just like every fairytale she’s not safe from the villain, the problem with that? He’s not only an incredibly hot Scotsman but also a fucking pain in the ass!

@drewmcintyrekoccsrocbwdgfan

Word count: Long-ish

Pairing: Drew McIntyre x Reader

Warnings: +18 smut, clit stimulation, angst, dirty talking, cursing, name calling,(possible part 2?Idk)

Notes: I think it’s time for me to face my biggest fear: Drew McIntyre! 😂 all jokes aside, I’ve lost count of how many one shots I have written and soon after deleted about this handsome hunk. There are so many good stories of him out there that I’ve always felt like mine were actually horse shit compared to those so I’ve never had the courage to make this Scottish wet dream an official brand of my writing, but I’m looking forward to achieve new accomplishments on my writing in 2021, so here goes nothing folks! Y’all know the drill loves,sorry for misspellings,english isn’t my first language (bla bla bla),check out my other stories if you’d like to(it would make your girl here very happy 😊) and if you’re comfortable with it,please let me know what you think? Some feedback is always welcomed and appreciated ❤️You can check out my other stories typing ‘masochist writes’ on the search bar on my page and my newest story as a fixed post.Okay,now let’s get to the fun part,shall we? Hope you’ll enjoy 😉

“Oh Thank God! Just the woman I wanted to see”

I turned around to meet Becky Lynch, one of the few dear close friends I’ve made while working for the WWE as a massage therapist.

“Hey Becks! What’s up?”

“Y/N I need your help, I was doing some training with the guys when suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder and now I feel like I wanna cry”

“Oh Becky, c’mon let’s go to my office”

Once we got there I mentioned for her to sit on the massage table.

“So tell me exactly what you were doing”

“I was doing some regular weightlifting, then all of a sudden I felt this sharp pain stretch from my elbow to my shoulder”

“Ok, did you warmed up before hand?”

“Yes”

“Did you added the weights in progressively or were you in some sort of competition against Sheamus, Cesaro and McIntyre as to whom could perform a proper weightlifting faster?” I crooked my eyebrow

“Y/N! You know I would never do that” She tried to hide her shame for being caught

“Becky, I know you! I know how competitive you are and how competitive you GET when you train with Sheamus, Cesaro and the Scottish prick.”

“They started ok?! They said I was no match for them, so I had to make them swallow word by word” She said slightly angry

“Calm down” I chuckled “And I presume you won?”

“Of course I won! As if they stood a chance” She scoffed

I touched her shoulder and palmed the back of her upper arm til I reached her elbow

“And your prize for that my darling is” I looked into her eyes “Six muscular knots, probably some small damage to your elbow nerves resulting in a little trip to the physical therapists and shit ton of pain, congratulations! Are you happy now?”

“Oh no!” She whined “Y/N, please don’t send me to the physical therapists, they will eat my ass off and they’re gonna tell Hunter about this. Please Y/N, please tell me you can fix it?” She stared at me with begging eyes

“Becks” I sighed “I can undo the muscular knots but I ain’t no fairy godmother! If you have some sort of nerve damage that’s up to the physical therapists...there’s nothing I can do about that honey”

“Please Y/N give me some of the red magical relief juice you gave to Kofi” She pleads

“Red magical relief juice?” I asked confused

“Yes, Kofi said he had this horrible pain from an injury and you gave him this red magical relief juice that helped him better than any medicine! Please give that to me too!”

I laughed before answering

“Oh Kofi, Kofi... it’s not an juice, it’s a liquid... a toner. A home made medicine I learned with my grandma. Technically I’m not even allowed to use that, but I know it works, better than these crap versions of Vick’s Vapor Rub” I tossed a little small green package in the trash can.

“Can you give that to me?” She asked with her eyes full of hope

“Fine” I said and she smiles widely

“But, you have to promise me that you will stop with these stupid and senseless competitions! They could permanently damage your nerves you know?!”

“Ok I promise”

I took a small plastic bottle from the cabinet and filled up with some small amount of the toner and placed the bottle inside a small paper bag. I also gave her a little bit of my grandma’s famous ointment in a tiny tin can.

“Alright, so here’s what you’re gonna do: once you get to your hotel room, you’ll take a hot shower and before you put your clothes on, you’re gonna rub the toner from your neck to your elbow all over your shoulder and back upper arm” She nods and I proceed “Then right after you’re going to take a small amount of this ointment” I show her the little tin can “And rub it all over your shoulder, back upper arm and elbow. Right afterwards you get dress with a long sleeve shirt and go to bed. Remember that you cannot leave your skin exposed to the cold air of air conditioning, because if you do it will make your pain and damage way worse! Do you hear me?”

“Yes Ma’am”

“If in three to four days you still feel any sort of pain you’re gonna have to go to the physical therapists”

“Ok”

“Becky I’m serious”

“Okay Y/N I got it” She smiles softly

“Good, now please, don’t tell anyone about this” I shook the little bag “And tell Kofi to keep his mouth shut. I know he means well but I could get fired for this”

“My lips are sealed” She pressed her lips in a thin line

“Thank you” I chuckled “Now, go on and take 20 drops of this” I give her some Ibuprofen “And come back in 20 minutes”

“Why?” She asks confused

“Because we still have to undo those knots and it’s not gonna be the fun kind of pain my dear”

“Argh” She groans

One week later

I was finishing tidying up the massage table from the session I just had with Bayley when someone knocked on my office door

“Come on in”

“Hey Y/N” Seth Rollins said in a voice full of pain as he tried to walk towards me

“Seth are you ok? Jesus, you look like somebody just kicked your balls so hard that they went up to your throat! What happened?” I tried to hold back my laugh

“A long story involving Cesaro and Drew. Moral of the story is my back is fucked up, do you think you can help me?”

“Can you lay down here?” I patted the table

“I guess so” He made his way to it excruciatingly slow as I helped him to lay down

“Where’s the pain worst?”

“My lower back” I touched and he gasped in pain

“Do you think you could give me some of that red magical relief juice?” He whispered so only I could hear it.

Of course I wasn’t surprised about him knowing of the “magical relief juice” since he and Becky were together I figured she told him.

“Did Becky told you?”

“Only today, once she saw I was in a tremendous pain...When she was using it I pressed her to tell me who gave it to her but she didn’t wanted to say, she said it was her fairy godmother”

I couldn’t help but smile at Becky’s inside joke and loyalty. I truly love that girl.

“Sure thing Rollins, just please don’t-“

“I won’t tell anyone Y/N don’t worry! Your witchy recipe is safe with me” He chuckled “Ouch fuck, that hurts” He groaned

“Did you bring any jacket on with you?” I laugh

“Yeah Becky told me to”

“Ok, let’s get start it”

Forty minutes and a relaxed thankful Seth Rollins later. I was finishing washing my hands while Seth pulled the zipper of his jacked up. I could feel his eyes on me

“What is it Rollins?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“If the question is if I am a 450 year old witch then my answer is, you will never know” I whisper as I turn to face him with a smirk

He laughs before saying “Well I’m sure you are sweetheart” He winks playfully “But that’s not the question though unfortunately”

“What is it then?”

He looked at me with a sense of caution before asking

“Why do you hate Drew so much?”

“McIntyre? The Scottish prick? The shitty bearded version of Gastón from Beauty and The Beast?” I ask in disbelief

My hatred for Drew McIntyre goes way back to 5 years ago. To make a long story short he has being a pain in my ass every since I started working here. It all resumes to the bad flirting and endless fights. We’ve always fought at least 3 times a week for as long as I can remember. It’s like a weekly ritual for us, and our fights are always petty and ridiculous such as who will get in the elevator first or who will rent the last SUV car.

“Yeah...” He answers slightly embarrassed

“Well that’s simple, he’s an asshole! A smug fucker who thinks he’s the most beautiful man to ever walk the earth and that every woman alive must fall for him in all fours”

“Is there anything else beyond that?” He asks

“No! Of course not!” I lied. As if I could tell him about my deep sexual desire for the Scotsman

“Are you sure? I mean, you must agree with me that he is very beautiful” Seth answers

“I’m not saying he’s not. I have eyes, so trust me, I know he’s hot as fuck and a very handsome man but that doesn’t mean that every woman on this company wants him!” I scoffed

“Does the ‘every woman’ equals Y/N?”

“Why are you asking me this?” I asked aggressively

“Look, there’s no need for you to get all defensive ok? I’m your friend and I’m just asking this as a friend. I’m not coming for you by any means” He says with a soothing voice

“Sorry, it was just my automatic response”

“It’s okay sweetie”

“But Seth...why this question now?”

“Let’s just say that I may or may not have heard some backstage talk and I would like to know this from your own mouth instead of other people’s”

“Backstage talk? About what?” I ask angrily

His eyes widened “You know what? Let’s forget I ever men-“

“No no no Rollins you’ve started this now you will finish it!” Now I was really angry

“Fuck, I should’ve kept my mouth shut” He murmured

“But you didn’t! So spit it out”

“Ok...I’ve heard one of the girls say that the reason why you hate Drew so much is because you kinda have a hidden want for him to fuck you but since he’s ‘not interested’ you get pissed off” He whispered

“I WHAT??? WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT?”

“Y/N please keep your voice down! Somebody is gonna hear you”

“I COULD GIVE TWO FUCKS IF SOMEBODY CAN HEAR ME! Who’ve said that Seth?” I was boiling with rage

“Sweetie, I’m not gonna tell you who’ve said it because I know you will-“

I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and whispered

“If you don’t tell me who’ve said that right now Rollins I swear to God on God in heaven that I will cut your balls off and shove them down your throat!”

He gulped

“Now who’ve said that?”

“Carmella” He whispered and I smiled letting go of his collar “Y/N please don’t do anything stupid!” He said as I removed my coat

“Don’t forget to rub the toner on your back once you’re out of the shower” I patted his shoulder and made my way to the door

“Y/N where are you going? Y/N please whatever you’re thinking about doing it, just don’t ok? She’s not worth it! Y/N PLEASE!”

But his screams were now faint as I make my way down the hallway to find the blond gossiper girl.

I finally find Carmella “talking”, to Sheamus in one of the hallways.

“Oi Y/N, how’s life treating ya lass?” Sheamus smiles widely at me, making his usual greeting. At any other day it would’ve made my afternoon happier to find that amazing Irish man, but not today! I was so furious that I ignored him and went directly to Carmella

“Would you mind telling me why the fuck are you not only minding my business but also spreading rumors about me and McIntyre?”

From where I stood I saw Sheamus visibly gulp

“Hey Y/N, what do ya say about we go to tha catering grab some coffee huh?” He said urgently pleading

“So? I’m waiting for an answer” I said to her fully ignoring what he just said

“Well Y/N, from woman to woman, I think we both can agree that it’s no rumor. It’s quite visible, to not say pathetic, the way you can’t deal with rejection my dear” She batted her lashes

“And what exactly are you implying?”

“The obvious Y/N! That you want Drew in between your legs but he doesn’t! I mean, let’s face it, he’s too much of a man for you anyways! It’s not like you can handle him, because we know you can’t” She measured me from head to toe making me feel very conscious about the difference between her slim toned body and my thick one full of curves.

I know that most of the men’s in this company usually date or even have one night stands with women who were body equivalent to their own - slender and beautifully toned - , but that doesn’t mean that they didn’t saw my own curvy beauty. Hell, I even got some dinner invitations from some of the guys! Cesaro, Baron Corbin, Finn Bálor and even Seth Rollins (before he got with Becky) were some of them.

“I bet that I received more dinner invitations in a week than you in a year” I scoffed

“But not from the man you want the most right darling?” She evilly grins and I see red! Pure rage in it’s rawest form took ahold of me and I jumped towards her neck but a pair of strong arms stopped me from attacking her.

“Wow, easy now lass” He said

HIM! The cause of all this gossiping with my name, I couldn’t get even more angry even if I tried.

“Let me go McIntyre!” I roar

“Uh, enjoy it while it lasts Y/N, it’s as far as you’ll ever get anyways” Carmella chuckles

I tried to wiggle out of his arms “What the fuck did you just said bitch? I’ll feed you your own teeth you fuck-“

I couldn’t finish my sentence thanks to Drew, who lifted me off from the floor and tossed me on his shoulder, taking me to back my office.

“What are you doing? Let me go! I’m gonna punch her stupid rat’s face!”

“No you won’t”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m preventing your ass from getting fired!” He answers

I tried to release myself from him, but who was I fooling? The man is a brick wall, I couldn’t let myself go not even if I tried hard!

Once we got into my office he locked the door, placing himself in front of it and released me.

“Don’t you never, EVER, dare to manhandle me like that again! Do you hear me?” I stare at him with my eyes full of rage

“You know Y/N, all that anger is not good for you...you could have a heart attack” He chuckled

I was so mad, that tears of anger rolled down my cheeks as I cut the small distance between us and begin to punch his torso, arms or whatever I could reach

“I HATE YOU! YOU’RE THE REASON WHY I AM NOW A FUCKING BACKSTAGE GOSSIP SUBJECT! IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT, YOU’RE SO FULL OF YOURSELF AREN’T YOU HUH? SHITTY ASS GASTÓN!”

I was starting to loose my strength due to my ferocious attack, and I would be damned if I let him see that...

When suddenly everything changed, the air in the room thickened and I saw myself now pressed against the door with my hands forcefully pinned on top of my head.

“Aww, that was sweet princess” He smirks confidently

“What are you doing Drew? Let me go” I murmured

“Oh it’s Drew now huh? Why the sudden change love? What happened with ‘Scottish prick, asshole and Gastón’?” He cackled “What’s wrong princess? Not feeling so confident and in charge anymore are we?” He pouts

“You’re hurting me” I lied

“Nu uh, we both know that, that’s a lie. I know you Y/N, every inch of you so don’t you lie to me now! That’s not what pretty little girls like you do” He reprimanded me

I felt confused and slightly turned on by his whole dominant character. But still I felt the urge to fight back.

“And what do you know about me McIntyre? NOTHING! So don’t YOU dare to pretend that you do! You know nothing about who I am or my needs, so quit the act”

He laughed before saying “And that’s where you’re wrong princess” He towered over me, securing my wrists with one of his hands while the other grabbed my cheeks making my lips pout(like one would with a child) and tilted my head up to meet his blue gaze.

“You see Y/N, we’ve known each other for what? 5 years? I’ve done a lot of observing in those years... I became quite good at reading you” He leaned forward..his beard,lips and mustache brushing against my own lips

“So I know for a fact that what triggered you into fighting Carmella wasn’t what she said...But the fact that what she said is true” He searched my eyes for confirmation and when he found it he smirks in appreciation

A murmured ‘Fuck you’ came out of my lips the best way I could since he had this vicious grip on my cheeks.

“Oh Y/N, Y/N... what am I going to do with you princess?” He asks amused as he release my cheeks “I must say though... I agree with almost everything Carmella said” He vaguely added

Pure humiliation filled me, the thought of him knowing that deep down I had a thing for him which wasn’t reciprocal at all made my stomach turn. I felt the tears of humiliation start to rise to my eyes, but I wouldn’t give him the pleasure to see that he had broken me. Instead I reached for the safety of the one thing I knew I could do: fight!

“You let me go right now you fucker or I swear you will regret it!” I said as threatening as I could

“Oh my, won’t you look at that? Kitty has claws huh?” He chuckled lightly

I took advantage of his distraction and yanked my arms as fast as I could out of his grip. The action caught him by surprise, giving me the upper hand to turn around to unlock the door so I could leave. But his surprise didn’t last long as for he saw what I was about to do and pressed me against the door once more, instead now my back was the one facing him so he pressed his semi hard bulge up against my ass with my hands and face now pressed on the wooden door.

“Where do you think you are going princess? We’re not done talking just yet” He whispers in my ear, making my whole body shiver.

“As I was saying before you rudely interrupted me” His lips were glued to my ear “I almost, I said almost, agree with everything that she said..except for one thing”

“If you’re gonna say that-“

“Maybe I’ll have to buy you a ball gag, since you don’t seem to ever know when to shut up...or maybe I should choke you instead,what do you say?”

I gulped loudly

“Or even better, I should fuck your mouth..bury my cock so deep on your throat that you will have no other option but drool all over yourself” He pressed his bulge harder against my ass “, that will make you shut up! I can already imagine how gorgeous you will look with my cock shoved down your throat” He moaned “Would you like that princess? Would you like for me to show you where’s your place? Where you really belong?” He grinds his erection on my ass and the feeling makes me moan softly

“Drew...” I pleaded

“The only thing I don’t agree with Carmella” He continues his previous statement ignoring my plea “Is that I’m too much of a man for you. To be honest I think you’re the only woman in this company who can actually handle me! The only one who will love and beg to be fucked faster and rougher..” His hands let go of my wrists and roam down to cup my breasts roughly, pulling me even closer to his body

“The only one who is the perfect fit for me...who will let me use every single hole as I please” He bites my ear making me gasp for more air.

“Won’t you Y/N? Do you want me to use you like the good little whore that you are?”

My head was buzzing with excitement, I could feel the now very wet pool of desire in between my legs. To think that all of my darkest fantasies with this man were about to come true made me moan a faint ‘Yes’ to him

He grunts at my positive response while one of his big hands unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans so his hand could sink down the fabric to find my very wet core.

“Hmmm I’ve been waiting 5 years for this lass...Fuck, you already feel amazing on my hand I can’t wait to feel this pretty little pussy around my cock” He growls

“Fuck Drew, please” I whisper

“It’s Sir to you, my good little pet” He smirked “Now tell me, do you think I should fuck you right here, right now so that everyone in this company can hear me make you my fuck toy or should we head back to the hotel? What do you say pet?” He asks as his fingers firmly circles my clit making my legs shake

“W- Whatever pleases you Sir” I stuttered

“I see you’re a quick learner huh?” He chuckles amused “I say, let’s show this roster who is the only woman who can properly handle me” He says as he removed his fingers from my core and licked them clean while staring at me. I softly moan to that scene and he smiles deviously before whispering

“Strip now pet and show what a beautiful fuck toy you are for Sir”

To be continued...

Please let me know if you would like to see a part 2 🥺?

[emma-nation]

The Devil In I - Bela x OC (Resident Evil Village AU)

“Step inside, see the Devil in I”

Summary: Aleena Novak is a 19 years old orphan who desired more than living in a village in the middle of nowhere. A talented artist with a big future ahead, she gets the scholarship of her dreams in United States. But everything changes when her twin brother, Auryk, steals an important artifact from Castle Dimitrescu.

In this adventure, Aleena will find way more than she expected.

“You’ll realize I’m not your Devil anymore”

Pairing: Bela Dimitrescu x OC

Genre: Between T and M (Trigger warning for violence, blood, abuse and eventual smut)

Tag List: @nydeiri

Notes: This is my first RES fic, so I'm sorry if I mess it up a bit. English is also not my main language, so a mistake or two may happen. I hope you enjoy it :)

Trigger Warning: Language, abuse, blood and violence.

Eastern Europe - July, 2009

"If he could learn to love another and earn her love in return by the time the last petal fell, then the spell would be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast for all time. As the years passed he fell into despair and lost all hope. For who could ever learn to love a beast?"

Mother closed the book, placing it on the bedside table between Auryk's bed and mine. Then, she lowered herself and kissed my forehead like she did every night. Her long, blonde hair tickled my face and left a trace of her sweet lavender fragrance in the air. I giggled.

"Good night, sweetheart," she spoke.

"Good night, momma."

"Cherish your last night as a six years old. Tomorrow you will become a..."

"Princess?!"

"A seven years old girl. The prettiest girl in the village."

"Pffft," Auryk let out a displeased grunt from his bed, covering his head with the pillow to avoid listening another word from the conversation.

"And you too," mother sat by his side on the bed and repeated her nightly ritual of kissing his forehead to wish him a good night too. "You'll become the most handsome and brave warrior in this village. Do you understand?"

"I hope so. Good night, mom."

"Good night, buddy."

Mother left the room, leaving us both in the dark. However, we couldn't sleep. Not because we were thrilled about our incoming birthday party as any regular child, but because we knew our lives were about to change. Seven years old was the age every child from our village was introduced to the truth and started being trained to fight the evil that haunted our lands. Auryk and I spent minutes, or maybe hours, in silence, staring at the ceiling.

"Leena?" He was the first one to speak. "Do you believe a spell can broken? I mean, like a curse?"

"I don't know, Ryk," I answered, feeling my thoughts starting to drift away. "Maybe we're doomed after all. Or... we could learn how to love the beasts."

The birthday parties always happened during the daytime, rules of the village. We could no longer be outside after 6 PM. Mother got help from the other women to prepare the treats and organize the decorations. Auryk was disguised as a pirate and I... I was Belle, from the Beauty and the Beast.

"So, what do you think you will be getting this year?" My best friend Elena asked while we were playing with our dolls. She was about two years older than us.

"I don't know," I shrugged. Being a merchant, my father always returned home with the most unusual gifts: a magical music box, a voodoo doll that had a life on its own or a fragrance that chased away the monsters - and everybody else too. "A new book. I'm hoping for a new book."

It was only by the end of the party Adrian Novak made his entrance. That was the mystery about him. Nobody knew when he would show up, or if he would show up at all. He still had that same annoying smirk on his face. The corner of his mouth holding a cigarette. The months away made his beard grow longer, as well as his dark hair. In the sunlight, the scar above his eye was even more visible.

"Auryk," he shouted, "come here, son. I've got something for ya."

My twin brother, who had been climbing trees with his friends stop frozen in spot for a second. I couldn't tell if he hated or feared that man. Maybe both. He slowly followed father's command, approaching him cautiously.

"Hi, dad."

"Happy birthday, son," father ruffled his dark straight hair with his strong and calloused hand. "It's about time you grow up."

He handed my brother a large package. From our experience, we knew exactly what it was, a shotgun.

"T-Thank you, dad."

"I'll be spending some time at home. Tomorrow we'll start practicing."

Auryk consented. He shot me a quick glance. From our twin bond I could tell my brother was far from happy. When he blew his candles that afternoon, he didn't wish for a weapon. We wished to be a normal child.

"What did you get, Leena?" He asked once we were locked in the safety of our bedroom.

"Pencils and a drawing book. Dad thinks I'm talented."

Not really. Adrian Novak would never allow his daughter to hold a shotgun. That was, according to him, 'a man thing'.

"Good, at least one of us got what they wanted. Happy birthday, sister."

"Happy birthday, brother."

4 Years Later - October, 2013

It wasn't easy to be the weakest of the twins. Although he was born first, Auryk was the tinniest. The one who was always getting sick or getting injured. The one who couldn't hit a single fucking target when he had the alcoholic breath of his father on his neck.

He aimed for a crow, sitting still on a fence. How hard could it be? Even the eldest man from the village could do any better than that.

BANG! He shot again. And missed.

"Again?!" Adrian angered, shoving him hard on the shoulder. "What the hell is your problem, kid?"

"I don't know, okay? This gun... it's heavy!"

"Heavy? And why do you think we've been exercising for all these years, huh?! We do not live in Disneyland, Auryk. We need to fight monsters, abominations. Someday I won't be home and you need to be prepared to protect our people. Do you understand?"

Tears started forming in the corners of the boy's blue eyes. He couldn't cry. Not in front of him. Crying was a sign of weakness and he couldn't be weak. Not right now. Auryk started to think about all the things he could be doing. He thought about the ocean, as he had seen on TV and books. He could feel the warmness of the sun on his skin. The sand between his toes. His mom and sister were also there, of course - they'd carry them with him everywhere. And he would study Math and Physics. There would be no guns, no monsters, no blood, only numbers, only formulas, only theories. He smiled. He no longer felt like crying.

"I'm sorry, dad," kindness was always the answer, his mother said. "But this isn't for me, you know? I don't like it. I... Remember that boarding school my teacher mentioned? I thought maybe I..."

His words were interrupted by a hard slap on his face. Auryk could taste a small amount of blood coming out from his lower lip.

"So that's what you want? To become one of those little fancy fags? Maybe you're not my son after all."

Adrian started walking away, leaving his son alone, sitting on the floor.

"I AM!" Auryk yelled, enraged. "I am your son."

"Then prove it."

"You shouldn't take so hard on him," Savannah poured her husband a cup of tea. "He's just a boy."

"He's eleven years old, for god's sake," the husband punched the table strong enough to make it shake. "He needs to man up a bit. You should stop spoiling him."

As I left my bedroom I found my brother sitting on the stairs. He didn't have to be so close to listen to the conversation between our parents, father's voice was loud enough to echo through every wall of our small and cozy home.

I sat down by his side, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

"Maybe you should do it, Leena. You'd do it better, I know."

"I'm not so sure. Remember when I tried to shoot a scarecrow and almost shot that old witch?"

"Come on, you aimed on purpose! I know."

Auryk finally let out a small laugh at the memory.

"You're good at everything, Leena," he spoke fondly. "You're an extrovert, you're everybody's friend, you can cook, you can draw and paint... you're a true artist. I'm a mistake."

"You're not a mistake, Ryk," I pulled my brother closer, resting my cheek against the side of his face. "We're only at the wrong place and you know it."

Going back to our bedroom, we pulled from the drawers the postcards our grandma Louise sent us from San Diego. Mom had been born in California and lived there her entire life, until she met father during one of his trips. God knows what made her fall in love with that man. Adventure? Danger? I expected better from myself when I turned eighteen. Otherwise, I'd never want to fall in love. Love could be my ruin, just like my mom's.

"Leena..." Auryk held the postcard tightly, "do you think... if he died... do you think mom would take us to nana's home?"

"I don't know, Ryk," I didn't want to think of my father's possible death. But I also dreamed of a better life. "Maybe."

"What the hell?" Father's voice in the kitchen made me jump in fear. I knew that tone. I grew up used to that. Something was wrong in the village. We had to hide.

"To the basement, now!" He emerged at the bedroom, holding a rifle. "Lycans were seen surrounding the area."

We barely had any time to react, mom came and dragged us both to the basement. Father left, carrying his arsenal of weapons as usual. There were other hunters in the village but we always knew how badly it could end. Somebody could always get seriously hurt. Or worse.

The basement had been carefully prepared for that kind of situation years before. It had a big bed, two armchairs, a heating source, some stored food and a shelf. Mom sighed and forced a smile.

"So," she walked to the shelf, "what is it going to be today?"

"Frankenstein," Auryk suggested. My brother loved mystery and horror. As if his life hadn't enough of it.

"Romeo and Juliet," I spoke. There was something about forbidden romance that always caught my interest.

"Okay. I... I'm gonna say a prayer and you two can read the books you picked by yourselves. What do you think?"

"Great!"

Mom kneeled down by the bed's side, holding a crucifix. I could join her if I wanted to, but I'd rather watch in silence. I grabbed my book, sitting on one of the armchairs and pretending to pay attention, while I tried to distract myself from the fact my father could be the Lycans' next prey. Or all of us, if they managed to break into our house.

"Leena?" I woke up hours later with my mom shaking me. "Leena?! Where's Auryk? Where's your brother, Leena?"

I had no idea. I had fallen asleep and apparently, so did mom. She checked for the basement's door, it had been locked from outside.

"No..." she tried to force it open. "No! I can't be..."

All Auryk had to do was to successfully kill and take a Lycan's carcass as a trophy to his father, right? That was what that old douchebag wanted him to do, to prove his courage, his manhood. We had his shotgun, a binoculars and a knife, that should be enough, but first, he needed a good plan.

Looking down to his hands, he had the most perfect idea. Without thinking twice, he sliced a cut through his palm, letting some blood pour on the ground. Then, he found a tall tree. He climbed it and observed. The smell of blood his trail left behind should be enough to attract a creature.

"Come on... come on..."

From a distance, Auryk could hear the sound of destruction and death. There was a battle going on somewhere nearby. Once again Lycans should have found a family or a group of hunters.

And then, he could hear it. The heavy footsteps, the screeching sounds, the sniffing. The mutant creature was only a few meters away from the tree. He aimed, but it was still too distant. He needed to move to a closer branch.

It all happened in one second. He was almost there, reaching for the spot he had picked, but his weight was too much for the tree's branch. In a blink of an eye, he was lying on the ground. His vision was blurred. His head hurt intensely, as well as his arm. It was broken for sure. He possibly had a concussion too. He tried to stand up and run but his legs wouldn't follow his commands. The Lycan was coming straight at him.

"AURYK!" His mother screamed behind him. "NO!"

Time seemed to freeze in that fraction of second. How did she manage to escape the basement? How could she have found him?

But without hesitation, Savannah threw herself on top of her son, protecting him from the jaws and claws of the monster. Auryk couldn't see much, but he could smell it. He could feel it. Blood. There was blood everywhere. He couldn't tell who it belonged to, he or his mom's.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

A fast sequence of shots suggested the hunters had found them. The creature stopped moving, stopped howling. It was finally dead.

"M-Mom... it's dead. We... We're safe."

She didn't answer. Instead, he heard another familiar voice.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!" It was from his father. "Savannah! Savannah!"

"D-Dad..." Auryk tried to speak, but the words got lost along the way. "I... I..."

Adrian lifted him by his jacket, holding him inches above the ground.

"YOU KILLED HER! YOU KILLED YOUR MOM, YOUR STUPID BASTARD!"

"I..." tears streamed down the boy's face, his injured brain trying to process what had just happened. "I'm sorry.'

After he was thrown back to the ground, he was hit with a hard kick on his stomach. He turned his head around to notice a small figure hiding behind a tree, watching the whole scene in pure horror.

"L-Leena..." he muttered.

"This is all your fault, Auryk. You're a disgrace to this family."

And then, he passed out. Rumors said he was unconscious for days or maybe weeks. When he woke up, he wished everything had been a nightmare.

Present Days - July, 2021

Nobody mourned Adrian Novak when he died. Not his children. Not his village mates. No human being would ever feel any sympathy for a man who abused and blamed his eleven years old son for his mother's death. It had been two years since Adrian left this world and I couldn't feel any more free.

"Hey," I left another message on my brother's voicemail, "in case you've forgotten it's our birthday today. I'd like to have my twin home, you know? Call me when you get this message."

It was useless, I knew. Auryk would only pick up his phone when he wanted to. Or when he was too drunk. God knew where that guy would be at that time, probably waking up at some girl's bed or getting some rest from... working.

After grabbing myself a cup of coffee, I checked the door's mat. Bills, bills, newspaper and... California Institute Of Arts? I remember having an argument with Auryk about this matter at some point. He wanted me to fill the application and send them my portfolio. I insisted we had no money, not even to pay for the tuition. I won - I always win every argument by the way.

"Your damn son of a..." I placed the envelope on the kitchen's table. I was a coward, I confess. However, I didn't know which pain was worse - to be sure I wasn't good enough or to be sure I was, indeed, but I'd never have money to leave that hellhole. Anyways, I decided to leave it alone. I had more important things to do.

My morning routine: to go to the middle of the woods and do some training. My father used to say fighting wasn't a girl thing, but I was no regular girl. And never in this life I'd allow someone to tell me what to do.

After running, climbing and doing a set of push-ups, it was time for combat training. Travelers from abroad taught me some different set of moves, I'd like to think I created my own fighting style. I was also very good with knifes, daggers or any kinds of short blades, they were useful during a close distance combat. My shooting was a work in progress, once or twice I'd miss the center of my handmade targets.

Then, like everyday, I'd go back home, shower and follow to my shift at the village's pub.

"Hiya, Leena," Gustav greeted me when I arrived. "I heard today is a special day... the day a little girl..."

"NO!" I stopped him. Gustav was my best friend. We had known each other since we were children and somehow, he liked to make my birthday a special - and embarrassing - event.

He placed a handmade fairytale-like book on the table. There were some edited pictures, mixed with some messed up drawings about my birth and childhood. He called it 'The Princess Who Carried The Light'.

"God, you're soooo stupid..." I rolled my eyes and moaned, before wrapping him into a very tight hug. "I love you, you know that?"

"I know. You'd probably marry me, if you weren't into girls."

We laughed together, as Olga, our boss emerged from the kitchen, bringing a cake with nineteen candles.

"Here's to another year," the older woman opened a wrinkled smile, "make a wish, my darling."

I fell pensive for a moment, besides having my twin brother back home, safe and sound, what else could I wish for? California, that scholarship, a new life... that's for sure.

"I wish for... a new life, a new adventure," I pronounced aloud while blowing the candles.

"Careful," a male voice spoke behind me, "words have power, little sister. You may get what you want."

"Ryk!"

I jumped straight to my brother's arms. I could swear that in only a few weeks he had gotten a little bit taller, and stronger too.

"I wouldn't miss my own birthday, right?" He smirked. "So, where's the cake? Please, chocolate... tell me it's chocolate."

"Your silly boy," Olga spread some icing on his nose. "Of course it's chocolate, as you love. And with cherries too."

Auryk responded with a satisfied smile. Olga and her husband, Kristoff, were those responsible for taking care of him after the Lycan attack, years ago. They sort of adopted him like one of their biological children.

"Oh!" The woman exclaimed taking a closer look at Ryk's forearm. He had gotten a tattoo. I hadn't been informed of those news either. Apparently, my brother had more secrets than I could even start to imagine. "This is... new. It seems like my kids are really growing up."

"And only now you noticed that, Olga?" Gustav joked.

Olga shook her head, grinning at herself and returned to the kitchen. The customers were starting to fill the pub. I stared at Ryk again, wondering what other secrets my brother could be keeping.

"So, what does that mean?" I pointed to his newly gotten tattoo, a strange and ancient symbol it seemed.

"Protection from the evil. This is what we need the most in our lives, especially in a place like this. What reminds me -" we turned around, taking a small box from the pocket of his jacket. "Your gift."

I took the black velvet box from his hands, it contained a golden necklace with a magenta gemstone as pendant. My blue eyes drowned themselves in the stone. It had a mysterious glow. Something hypnotizing. Something magical.

"Whoa..." was everything my mouth could pronounce. "And I bought you an Astronomy book."

Auryk stood up from his chair and went behind me, taking the necklace from my hands to wear it around my neck himself.

"This is supposed to protect you from any supernatural and inhumane beings. I won't lose you to them, Aleena. Not like I lost mom."

"Ryk, I... I can't even thank you enough."

"You don't have to. Just... stay alive."

First, I was overflowing with happiness. It either had to do with the fact my brother was home, alcohol, or both. Also, Olga should thank me. Most of the costumers of the day only stopped by the bar because of me. They absolutely loved me and knowing it was my birthday, they had to come and see me. A few of them even gave me some extra tips or a small gift, which was even greater.

"Okay, party girl..." Auryk helped me to get inside of the house as I tripped over the door mat. "Time to go to bed now. Don't you think?"

"Come on, Ryk! Have some spirit! You're home, Olga gave me the day off tomorrow, I earned some money..."

"You told Mrs. Hansen you secretly had a crush on her daughter during Middle School, you danced on top of a table, you're gonna get a hangover..."

"Party pooper!"

I threw myself at the couch. Auryk stood in front of me with arms crossed, looking like a father about to give his child a lecture.

"What?!" I yelled. "It's not like you've never been drunk before. Remember when you stole Adrian's..." I started to laugh, remembering the episode.

"When you were going to tell me about this, Leena?" He showed me the envelope. The Art Institute envelope. The one I had been struggling to open.

"Oh! I forgot. My bad, I didn't open it myself yet. I probably didn't get in anyways."

"You did."

I did?

"It's not like we have money to pay for my tuition. Also, how are we supposed to move to California, Ryk? I work at a pub and you..."

"I've gotten more than enough for that. You know that getting out of this place has always been the plan, since we were children. Leena, I've done some big jobs those last few months. I have the money to grant us a comfortable life in California."

"Smuggling, Ryk!" I raised my voice, saying aloud the information that was supposed to be a secret or not. "You've been stealing to grant us this life."

My brother stared at me in silence. I couldn't tell if he felt offended or embarrassed about my words.

"I'm getting out of here, whatever it takes," he ran a hand through his dark hair. "And you are coming with me. In two weeks, we move to United States for your enrollment."

"But..."

What I was trying to protest against? Leaving the village and starting a new life with my brother was everything I always dreamed.

"Look, I promise you," Auryk placed both of his firm hands on my shoulders, "once we settle down, no more smuggling."

"Okay," I sighed. "We leave in two weeks then."

There was a loud knock on the door. Being drunk as I was, I figured out I should have forgotten my purse at the pub. Or it could be a neighbor with some very stupid emergency.

Auryk opened the door and there was a strange looking man standing there. We wore sunglasses and a hat, behind his back he was carrying a giant hammer. According to the rumors and stories I heard from my parents, that was one of the Lords of The Four Houses, Karl Heisenberg.

"Auryk Novak?" He asked.

"Yes, sir."

"Come with me, kid. You've gotten yourself in big trouble."

[binniewon]

Midnight Roses 9 (repost)

Prev|Next

Pairing: DarkAngel!BTS/Female!Reader

Warnings: Slight Language, Angst

A/N: Yes this story is mine I am just reposting because my links weren’t working! Loves!!!! This is my 100th post I am so grateful for everyone who has supported my blog and my stories I love you all!

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You could hear their heavy footsteps as they followed you out the door “Y/N where are you going” you stopped in your tracks when you heard the voice of Namjoon, you turned to your side and saw him but he was with Jin, Yoongi and Hoseok it was their footsteps that you heard you realized when you didn’t see Jimin and Jungkook in sight.

“I-i-I was going to my apartment t-to check on F/N” they looked at you and then your neck you could see Namjoon slightly raise his eyebrows, you really need to cover that thing “I should be going” you said as you turned to leave “We can drive you if you would like” Jin said with the sweetest smile on his face “All of you” you asked confused as to why all of them would need to drive you to your apartment “No I mean I could drive you the other three need to get to the company” you could see the realization dawn on Namjoon’s face as he kissed Jin’s cheek and walked up to you “Can you come by later tonight” he asked with pleading eyes “I don’t think that, that would be a good idea” you said remembering what happened last night “Please it isn’t good for us to be apart for long” he said honestly, you huffed and nodded your head “Okay, I will come by later” he smiled and kissed the top of your head “Bye see you later” he said as he walked away Hobi and Yoongi followed and did the same action as Namjoon.

“You ready”

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Jin pulled up to gates you could see the apartment buildings behind them “How much was this” you asked in awe Jin laughed “That is for us to know and you to never find out” you frowned at the statement but didn’t say anything, after he had pulled through the gate the security guard closed it you had never seen apartments this beautiful “F/N must be loving this” you said with a smile on your face.

“This is it” Jin said as he pulled in front of a set of buildings “I would walk up with you but I can’t risk it” he said sadly “It’s okay Jin” you said as you touched his hand he smiled at the action “You’re on the fifth floor and your apartment number is 36” he said as he handed you a set of keys “Thank you I will see you later” before you could get out of the car he grabbed you hand and slowly leaned in and gave you a small kiss it wasn’t anything major but it was enough to make you feel dizzy “See you later” he said as he let your hand go.

You walked out of the elevator still in a daze from the kiss why were you allowing yourself to fall this fast you don’t know but you do know that you are starting to have feeling for them which scared you but every time they touched or kissed you it made you feel like you belonged with them and that terrified you.

As soon as you opened the door you were tackled to the ground “Oh my goodness Y/N I was scared something happened to you, it isn’t like you to just text me that you will be back in the morning without explaining to me were you are I thought someone had kidnapped you or worse-” you stopped her before she could go further “I’m fine so can you please get off of me” she let out an oh and got off of you “Now where the hell were you” you cursed whoever texted her for not lying to her or letting her know where you were but leaving out important details because you didn’t want to explain to her everything but now you would have to explain everything and you weren’t ready for that “I was with BTS”

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She kept on pacing it was starting to give you a headache you hadn’t even told her everything just that you were with them and she was freaking out “F/N sit down please your giving me a headache” you said as you rubbed your temples she stopped and gave you a pointed look “Don’t you dare tell me to sit down Y/N you have been keeping secrets from me I knew you something was off but this this is a lot to take in you were with BTS and you don’t even like KPOP” you huffed as you rolled your eyes this was too much for her how the hell did she think you felt “F/N sit the freak down so I can explain everything” she stopped pacing for a second and looked at you before she sat down “So this is a lot since this has been going on for about four years now” she looked at you with wide eyes but didn’t say anything “So it all started on my eighteenth birthday I woke up a bit dejected but still went on about my day it wasn’t until hours later when something happened” you lifted up your shirt to expose your tattoo.

“This suddenly appeared and I know you might be thinking that I got this at a tattoo parlor or something but you know that I am not the type of person who gets tattoos so I tried my hardest to find out how it happened but I didn’t find anything until you took me to the concert and I saw BTS the tattoo had been aching the whole concert but when I walked up to them I was suddenly in excruciating pain” she looked away from you and stood up but she was still quite “ When I woke up they told me about the meaning of tattoo and how…they are my soulmates and their not human” you looked down after that you could feel her start to pace again “What the fuck do you mean they aren’t human” well she wasn’t happy about this “They are dark angels” she stopped pacing and looked at you like you were crazy “Y/N are you okay or do I need to take you to the hospital” you stood up and looked at her “You don’t believe me” she huffed and then laughed “Of course I don’t believe you if you didn’t want to tell me why you have been off then that is okay I figured it would have something to do with your Grandma and your eighteenth birthday but you know how I feel about BTS so to use them as your lie that’s a bit much Y/N” she said as she sat back down and looked away from you.

“Wow I tell you what is actually happening to me and you don’t even believe me this is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you” you said as you started to walk away “You don’t get to walk away from this conversation Y/N” she said as she followed you “How do you think we are in this apartment why do you think they took me to their hotel after I passed how and why the hell do you think I came to Korea with them and sat next to Jimin on the plane please F/N explain that to me” she didn’t say anything “Exactly you can’t for as long as we have been friends you think that I would just lie to you over something like this I am terrified F/N so freaking scared I need my best friend more than ever” you said as you went to hold her hand but she pulled away with a look of disgust “I can’t do this Y/N” she said as she started to walk away “What do you mean you can’t do this” she turned towards you with fear in her eyes “You just told me that BTS are dark angels the group that basically saved my life are monster and you’re their soulmate whatever that might mean but I do know that I don’t really want to be a part of it” you were livid “Don’t you fucking dare call them monsters they are the most softest people that I have ever met, they were willing to stay in America for me because I couldn’t except the fact that my soul was bounded to them for life they are far from monsters and the fact that you think something is wrong with me because of that goes to show how much of a fucking friend you are” you said to her and she snickered “Some friend I am you kept this from me for four fucking years Y/N”

“Because I knew that you would react like this and I honestly didn’t want to lose my best friend” she put her head down “Well I guess that it was bound to happen at some point right people don’t stay friends forever” she said sadly you shook your head “I can’t believe you” you said as you walked to the living room tears rolling down your face it wasn’t long after that when she came to the living room with her luggage “Where are you going” she didn’t say anything “I’m sorry” you said you didn’t really know what you were apologizing for but you didn’t want to lose your best friend “Bye Y/N” she said as she walked to the door “F/N wait” but she closed the door you didn’t go after her you just sat there and cried the look of disgust on her face when you tried to touch her hurt you more than anything.

.

.

Your ringtone woke you out of your sleep it was dark in the living room you realized that it had to be night time you immediately grabbed your phone without looking at the caller id you just hoped it was your best friend “Y/N are you not coming over: you heard Taehyungs voice disappointed you didn’t say anything “Y/N are you there” the reality of everything came crashing down on you, you just lost your best friend, your womb bestie as you liked to call her since your mom’s where pregnant at the same time but she came before you and she would always use that as her advantage so how could she just walk out like that you then realized that she probably didn’t have anywhere to go she had never been to Korea before at that thought you hung up the phone and ran out the door you had to find her.

Three hours

You had been looking for her for three hours and you still haven’t found her you knew she was a stress eater so you went to all the nearest Restaurants and pubs with a picture of her asking if she had been in the restaurant and nobody had seen her at this point you were scared anything could happen to her.

As you walked down the streets you heard someone call your name “Y/N oh my gosh we thought something happened to you” Jungkook pulled you into a hug “Why did you suddenly hang up on Tae” had he called you, you were so worried about F/N that you had forgotten about Taehyung “I-I she’s gone” you said as you broke out into tears “Who’s gone Y/N” Jimin said as he pulled you into him “F/N I told her everything like Namjoon told me to do and she left if you had j-just seen the way she looked at me i-I have never been looked at like that by someone so close to me i-I it h-hurts Jimin it hurts” you said as you cried harder “Okay baby Hobi, Yoongi and Joonie will take you back to our apartment and we will go look for her” Jin said as he pulled you out of Jimin’s arms and wiped the tears from your face you nodded your head and slowly walked away from him and into Hobi’s awaiting arms “Let’s get you home yeah” he said as he walked you to their car.

“They’ll find her baby they’ll find her”

[purplesurveys]

1273

What was the longest time you’ve had the hiccups for?  Maybe for half an hour? Mine are never that bad.

What type of TV shows are your favourite?  Not a big TV show type of person to begin with since it seems as if my attention span wasn’t built for once-a-week, season-breaks kind of content haha. I do like sitcoms, I guess...bite-sized ones like Friends, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Big Bang Theory, etc. Drama shows I’d bite into if the plot is extremely intriguing to me or relevant to my interests, like The Crown or Breaking Bad.

Have you ever been a complete fangirl/fanboy over anything?  I was before then I wasn’t for a very long time, then I came back just recently with this BTS shit I got myself into.

Do you know anyone who has died in battle?  Hmm. I don’t think so. My great-grandpa lived a few more decades after the war.

When was the last time you went on an adventure?  July. My friends and I spent the whole day driving around and stopping by sooo many spots around the metro. It was a lot of fun and we were fucking b e a t after.

What brand is your vacuum cleaner?  I dunno. My mom mainly uses ours.

Are you good at rapping?  I have a number of songs and verses memorized that I can recite quite okay, but I can’t write any of my own.

Name one world issue that upsets you.  Racism.

How do you feel about tanning?  I never saw the the big deal. I will say tanning beds and salons are such a culture shock to me, though. Are some people really that obsessed with modifying their skin tone?

Have you ever given a public speech? Hmm, just the one time I was entered into a public speaking competition and was given a topic to talk about on the spot. That was honestly a lot of fun and I wish there were more opportunities to do that exact same thing.

Do you read comic books?  No. I tried getting into that whole thing, but didn’t see the appeal.

Do you force your way into conversations in which you are not involved?  Not always but if I’m starting to feel left out or awkward, I will start to ask a question here and there to ease my way into the conversation. But if the topic is clearly none of my business then I do stay out of the way.

Kiss with your eyes open or closed?  Closed.

Do you believe you can change someone?  This isn’t a black and white matter, I think. The idea of changing a person can have a lot of layers; in my org, for instance, I got to pick up a few quirks and behaviors from my friends just by being around them for a long time – in that sense, I changed. But you can also strive to change someone who’s struggling and try to make them become happy, which I tried to do with my ex – which of course I learned the hard way that you can’t change someone if in that context.

How did you react when your first pet died?  I was bummed out but didn’t throw a fit.

Have you ever drawn anime?  No.

Can you use a pogo stick?  I’ve never even seen one in real life. I’m dying to try it out just once.

When’s the next time you’ll see the person that you like?  I don’t like anybodyyy.

Do you like bathing/showering?  I mean...yes? Like I’m not obsessed with showering, but it’s a necessity that I have to regularly do anyway lmao.

Have you ever considered entering a race?  Sure! Just give me a couple of weeks to practice because my endurance and stamina are embarrassing.

Rihanna or Lady Gaga?  Rihanna.

Who was your first good kiss with?  My ex.

What accessory do you want in your bedroom?  SHELVES

What do you take the most pictures of?  My experiences.

What are you always in the mood for?  Starbuuuuuuckssssssss.

What is something that you never turn down?  A day out with friends. I’ll always make time. What is something that you always turn down when offered?  Food, if I’m a guest at someone else’s place.

Name something sexy about your significant other.  I don’t have any.

What is one of your hobbies that you refuse to give up?  Surveys, I guess. I enjoy them too much and have been doing them for nearly a decade.

If you could be a professional in any sport what would it be?  Tennis.

If you could be a professional at any instrument what would it be?  PIANO.

Would you rather be a surgeon or mortician?  Surgeon. I would be too terrified seeing dead people, anyway.

Have you ever been on a subway? Nope.

Are you in love?  No.

Do you like having your lip softly bitten when you’re kissing?  Sure. Softly, roughly...both are fine hahaha.

Do you want to get married when you’re older?  I hope so. I want my turn, too.

What was the last band shirt you wore?  Eh, I don’t own any. I wore a fanmade V-themed shirt yesterday, if that counts.

You can have a milkshake right now. What flavor do you choose?  OMGGGG that sounds so fucking good rn. Chocolate chip cookie dough.

Have you ever given someone flowers?  Mhm, I used to give my ex bouquets whenever it was our anniversary.

What day of the week is usually your busiest day?  Monday like 98% of the time, so I hate them. It ultimately varies, though. Sometimes some days are a hell of a lot more hectic than others.

Do you have any concerts coming up? I mean...obviously not.

Do you like or hate the smell of fish?  Oh yessssssss. The smell of seafood/ocean always makes me fucking drool.

What’s your favorite brand of chips?  Pringles, or this local brand of salted egg chips that I love to get.

Have you ever written a poem and then read it aloud?  Yeah, once. We had to write a poem as our homework and my teacher picked out a couple that he thought were the best-written, and one of them was mine even though I still firmly believe I did a shit job.

Do you like pineapple?  Oh god no. One of the worse fruits I’ve had.

Does your house have a dishwasher?  No. It seems to be just a Western thing.

Do you know anyone who has a flower tattoo?  I probably do, but I just can’t give you a lineup of names. Flower tattoos seem to be trendy these days, especially in the line style.

How many different languages can you say goodbye in?  So I have goodbye, paalam, 안녕히 가세요, adios, auf wiedersehen, sayonara, au revoir...so that’s 7.

Agree or disagree: You like Adam Sandler movies.  Ummmm definitely childish and I can feel that the humor tries so hard sometimes but I do enjoy some of his movies, like 50 First Dates. 

Have you ever had to get a tooth pulled? If so, what for?  Yeah, I mentioned this on a previous survey.

Have you ever dated anyone while they were in jail?  No, I’ve never dated anyone who’s been imprisoned.

If you’ve ever babysat, do you like it?  I ‘babysat,’ but technically all eldest Asian daughters are expected to look out for their younger siblings and cousins anyway. I didn’t actively enjoy it, but sure, it was fun playing with them and it’s always nice to be viewed as responsible.

What is your favorite flavor on sunflower seeds?  I don’t eat sunflower seeds. I don’t dislike them, I just really never seek them out.

Do you get cold easily?  Yes.

Do you get a lot of spiders in your house?  Hmm no. If we do get visited they are almost always too small to be seen.

Do you admire nature?  Yeah, I try to be around it as often as I can.

Name one naughty thing you’ve done.  Had sex while a few people were in the same room. I pay for it now hahaha; those friends who had the misfortune to be in that situation have never let me live it down and it’s one of their go-to stories when I’m being introduced to new friends.

Name two of your favorite things as a child.  I loved everything Bratz. I also liked Play-Doh.

Do you own a Pillow Pet?  No, I’ve never even heard of that.

Do you tend to solve problems with violence?  Never.

Have either of your parents gone to jail?  Nope.

Do you know a hoarder?  I heard my grandma had been one, but I didn’t see traces of it when I used to visit her. I guess she had been when she was younger and stronger. I show traces of hoarding too, but I don’t think it’s at a concerning level; I literally just threw out a bunch of shit in my room I’ve hoarded over the last five or so years.

Do you wax, pluck, or leave your eyebrows?  I don’t touch them; I’m never all that worried about my appearance. On very rare instances, I will shave some of the excess hair off. Do you have any interesting scar stories?  None of them are interesting tbh, just results of my own stupidity.

Do you hate the texture of meatballs?  I don’t hate their texture but I also just don’t enjoy meatballs in general. I find them boring, which has always led me to think if they’re really supposed to be just boring clumps of meat or if I’ve just always been served average meatballs.

Do you get migraines? Yes, I usually get one after work. They’ve decreased in frequency now but one will drop by every now and then to give me a shit time.

Do you like guns?  No.

Are turtles amazing creatures? All animals are. :') < Yes! Except cockroaches.

How much time do you spend taking surveys?  I dedicate an hour or so every weekend. I often wish I can allot more time, but I also have other hobbies and interests I would usually want to catch up on during the weekends. 48 hours is just too short :(

Would you rather visit: The Eiffel Tower or Egyptian Pyramids? Pyramids, in a heartbeat. I wouldn’t even need to think about it.

Would you like to work at a candy shop?  Uh no. If I had to, it would be on the back-end, maybe in the corporate side of things lol.

Do you have feelings for someone?  Nope.

Which one of your guy friends is the best looking?  JM.

Do you have anything to say to your ex bf/gf?  No.

Which band do you have the most of on your iPod/music player?  I don’t use music players anymore but my Spotify always reminds me of how much I listen to BTS whenever they do one of their quirky listening habit reports lol.

Which song describes your mood at the moment?  I want to go with RM’s Bicycle just because I’m feeling quite content and relaxed at the moment.

Which movie(s) do you quote the most?  Eh, I’m not a big movie quoter.

Which one of your best friend’s friends would you most likely date?  I honestly don’t see any of them as date-able.

Would you ever let anybody else drive your car?  Sure. I’ve let Hans and Gab drive it countless times when I’ve had too much to drink. It’s a small car and is fairly easy to use and navigate. I would let Anj use it too at some point, but I want her to perfect her u-turns first hahahaha.

Which one of your friends will be the most successful?  It’s already one of my friends to begin with but I’m not naming names. They come from a privileged background to begin with and their godfather already handed one of his companies down to them, so. They were also told the CEO position is already a sure slot for them.

What store did you last shop at?  I wanna say NCAT, this Korean-themed store that sells trinkets and jewelries and plushies and stuff. They also sell BTS albums so Anj and I dropped by to check out and touch all the albums we can’t afford yet HAHA

Do you think telepathy is real?  No.

When did you last draw something for fun?  Last Saturday when I played an online drawing/guessing game with my uncles and aunts.

Who makes the most in your entire family?  My dad.

Do you like writing essays?  I love essays, it’s my favorite writing piece to make.

Do you think plastic surgery is no big deal?  It turns into one when it gets obsessive, like when people get excessive plastic surgeries specifically to look like another person. I’m looking at you, fucking Oli London.

Do you take your trash to the dump or have it picked up?  It’s picked up.

When you sneeze do you sneeze into your shirt or your hands?  I look away and just sneeze. Sometimes I’ll put up my elbow.

Do you usually have sex in the morning, noon or night time? Erm, I usually had it at night. I only had morning sex when we would spend the night; and I nearly never had noon sex.

Did you ever fail your learners/drivers test?  No.

Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?  Gun to my head, Lil Wayne.

Name someone you’ve become a lot closer to recently:  Reena!!! I’m so grateful Angela introduced us to each other :) We both tend to get shy so we don’t actually actively get chatty when we see each other irl, but I love her presence and I love that she is my friend. I make up for it by being super friendly and wacky in our group chat haha. Does your car have a sunroof?  No. We used to have a car that did, but we had to sell that during the peak of the pandemic.

Are you closer to your mom or your dad?  Dad.

Have you ever had a friend with benefits? No.

Who’s the last person you cuddled with?  My ex.

Are you friends with any of your teachers on Facebook?  Yeup.

[raevenlywrites]

Dasi High 2 of ?

All day long, all I wanted was my book. My book. I thrilled at the way the thought seemed to pulse in my head, heavy with the weight of destiny or something. It had to be some kind of strangeness at work, to put this exact book into my exact hands with my exact little name on it. Kiesha... It wasn’t exactly a sorceress’s name, but still, it wasn’t that common. Not for books that looked like they’d been buried under the sea for the last thousand years or whatever. “This should be in a museum,” ala Indiana Jones and all that. My book. It filled my chest with warmth just thinking about it.

But I kept it in my bag all through school, even during lunch. No Coke, greasy pizza, or nosy teachers were going to threaten my ancient tome. I wasn’t an idiot. I was going to keep it safe until I got home.

Safely ensconced in my beautiful window seat, the envy of all book lovers and cat nappers everywhere, I savored the moment, feeling the heft of the book in my lap, breathing deep of its good, good book smell. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a technophobe, but books man--nothing compares to the feel of thick pages beneath your hands, the crinkle, the earthy smell. Yeah. There was a reason Brass thought I might be into it, namesake notwithstanding.

The cover was plain, well-worn, shiny and slick to the touch with the press of so many hands before. The finish had worn off the lettering and embellishments, but fingers could trace the rise and indents of them. I suddenly wondered if I should be handling something so hold, then realized I had no idea how old it even was. Oh well. Brass’s mom wouldn’t have let him have it if it was priceless, right? With a steadying breath, I cracked the cover.

The glue had long since stopped holding the pages in, but the binding was still sound. Maybe I’d ask Donte or Nalini later if either of them knew anything about repairing old bindings. They were both always doing handsy stuff, Donnie with his computers, and Nani with eir soaps and stuff. Surely one of them would know something, or be able to point me in the right direction. For now, I gingerly laid the cover open in my lap and turned the pages with a reverence I almost never felt for anything. I hadn’t been this careful with a book since my Sandman hardcover omnibus I got for my last birthday.

Enough stalling. It was time to read.

I was surprised to note my own reluctance. I’m not usually one for drama, but this... it just felt heavy. Important. Like it mattered.

The front endpaper had a yellowed bookplate pasted in, painted with an elegant symbol or crest or something I didn’t recognize. It looked almost like a stick figure of someone dancing, arms reaching up and stance wide--except there were weird branches coming off, like cursive flourishes. Maybe it was a signature? If so it wasn’t in any language I could read. I suddenly panicked at the thought that I wouldn’t be able to read any of it, aside from my name, and eagerly turned the page, anticipation mixing with dread.

But instead of a title page, or anything even printed, it was another handwritten page, like a dedication, or maybe a poem or something. It was written in the same kind of cursivey, wavy letters as the bookplate, and with growing anxiety I turned to the next page.

The family tree.

Thin, spidery hand writing covered the pages, faded, but definitely in the familiar English characters. Arabic? Or was the for numbers? Whatever. I could read it, that was what mattered. It was hard to parse, just as it had been at school, but I found the letters of my name quickly, and my finger hovered over the page, tracing the line down. Don...Donovan? Sisal... Salem... It was almost impossible to make out, save for the ever-clear Kiesha. Almost like that was the only part I was meant to read. I stared at the whole page, trying to let my eyes go soft focused, to see if anything else jumped out at me, but the longer I looked, the harder to read it became. I gave up and turned the page.

A list of names and dates followed, like you’d expect from an almanac. But instead of useful things like “March 3rd” or “Spring Equinox” it said things like, “the fourth night of cheres” or “the eve of Namir-da”. It was English, but just barely. I skimmed the page but quickly moved past it, eager for something that made sense.

It was hard not to let my disappoint take hold. This book had felt so special--it was special, just... not what I’d been expecting. Recipes, as Brass had said, and almanacy things, lie when to plant, but nothing that gave me any sense of wonder, or importance. I was just about to give up when I finally came across a section written in plain English.

They say the time has come. I have been given the family book, and told its mine to keep. But what I am expected to do with it, I cannot say. I have nothing of my own to add. I am not even the oldest of the family line. But I feel I should write something, to mark the occasion if nothing else. So here I do write, on this, the first of August, in the year seventeen hundred and seventy-one, that I, Kiera Cortana, am now in charge of the family book, for better or for worse.

Whoa. Now that was seriously cool. I flipped back to the family tree, to see if I could find Kiera. There, near the bottom, Kiera Cortana, 1753. Neat. That made her... seventeen, eighteen when she wrote her entry? Wow. Barely any older than me. That warm tingle started again, that sense of connection, and I just let my hand rest on the page, fingers just below her name. There wasn’t any more after hers, though there was room for more. Hope for the future that never came.

The warmth turned to sadness, a kind of longing I couldn’t really put my finger on. I got that way sometimes, just out of the blue. Homesick for a place that didn't’ exist. At least here I kind of got it, sad for a girl who may or may not have ever grown up. There was more after her first journal entry, but it was just more recipes and things, and more of that squiggle script I had no idea how to read. On an impulse, I got out a notebook and copied down what letters I could make out, including the symbol on the front book plate. I wanted to look at it more later, when I was stuck at school, but I didn’t want to risk bringing the actual book there. It was so old, at least three hundred. Man, Brass totally shouldn’t have let me have this. I decided to call him and give him a hard time about it.

“Hey, Ki, is everything okay?”

I frowned at the concern in his voice. “Yes, Dad, I’m fine. I’m not always in mortal danger or whatever you seem to think.”

Brass snorted. “Well I assumed you had to be in trouble since you’re calling. Normally you just text.”

Oh. Right.

“Just wanted to chat,” I said, too casually, but he'd caught me off guard. I used to call Brass all the time. It was weird to realized I’d stopped. “I’ve been looking through that book you gave me.” When in doubt, change the subject.

“Yeah? Anything good?”

I heard the sound of a sliding glass door in the background, the tell-tale sign of Brass going out to sit on the back deck. He used to do it to be near the TV antenna, hoping it would give him better cell signal. Now it was just habit. I smiled, picturing him there, long and lanky and lean, back against the side of the house as he balanced on the deck railing, one long leg trailing down...

“Kiesha?”

“Hm?”

I made a startled little noise as I came back to myself. “Oh, right. Yeah, it’s pretty cool. Did you know it was so old? There’s an entry from the 1700’s in it.”

“Oh man, really?” He sounded equal parts excited and embarrassed. “I didn’t know that. Maybe I should let Mom look at it again...”

“No way,” I teased, “It’s mine now. Has my name in it and everything.”

“It has mine too.”

His voice was so soft I almost missed it. But I scanned the page and sure enough, Brassal was on a similar line as Kiesha.

“Weird... Almost as weird as your stupid name.”

I laughed to take the edge of, both from my words and from the creeping feeling working its way up my spine. Brass had always gone by the nickname, with Brassal being reserved for his father. I guess it shouldn’t have surprised me to see it in an old timey book like this; it had probably been handed down a long line of people, like Maeve’s super grandma name. But still. It freaked me, and when I got freaked, I teased. Make everyone else feel off balance and it was an even playing field again.

“Yeah, yeah, Cobriana. Tell me all about weird names.”

I stuck my tongue out, even though he couldn’t see. Still, it made me feel better. Sky blue, grass green, Brass and I teased. I had missed this. It was good to be getting it back.

“You wanna come over for pizza and movies Friday?”

It was out of my mouth before I’d really thought about it. But his hesitation made me wish I’d just kept railing on his stupid name.

“Uh, how ‘bout Saturday. I have... plans. For Friday.”

No way. No freakin way. “Don’t tell me you gave in to Izzy,” I said with a disinterest I didn’t quite feel. “You know she’s only sharpening her claws on you for a real takedown.”

“Don’t be like that, Ki. Isadora can do what she wants, with who she wants.”

I mocked “Isadora,” in as childish a tone as I could manage. No one called her that, not even Izzy herself. Except Landon. But Landon was cyborg and completely incapable of using contractions or imprecise grammar, like ever.

“And what she wants is apparently to play kissy face with Serv, for all the good that’ll do her.”

“Serv?!” I could not keep the surprise out of my voice. Serv was like, canonically asexual. Or at the very least, not interested in someone as bubblegum pop as Izzy.

“Your guess is as good as mine,” Brass said. “I didn’t ask, not that that stopped her from volunteering. Apparently they’re driving into the city to see a show or something.”

“Okay....” Izzy on a date with Servos. What an odd couple. I couldn’t fathom what sort of attraction would hold interest for both of them. But then, if such a thing existed, it would be in the city, not in this whole in the wall town. We didn’t even have a mall. “Well, good for them, I guess. So what about your mysterious plans?”

Brass groaned. “I’d hoped you’d forgotten. ”

“Nope. Spill it.”

He sighed. “I’m going to the movies... with Syfka.”

I gaped. “You’re joking. You’re joking! Why on earth would you want to go to the movies with her--xem?”

I was normally better with Syfka’s pronouns than this, but it was hard not to think of anyone out on date with Brass as anything but a her--a her he might want to kiss. Trying to apply that mental box to Syfka, of all people--

“Because--” Brass cut through my thoughts, “we have a project due, and it was either write a paper on a French film, or try to speed read through a work of French literature that I have zero hope of understanding because its kind of my worst subject.”

Oh. Right. School stuff. A perfectly reasonable reason to go to the movies with someone.

“Right. Okay. Yeah. So, does that mean you need to stay in and write it on Saturday.”

Brass laughed, and I couldn’t help but feel like it was at my expense.

“Nah. Come Saturday night, I’ll either be done, or I’ll be failed. Either way, pizza and a movie sounds great.”

“Okay...”

I couldn’t shake the little tight feeling in my chest. This call had thrown me. Everything about Brass seemed to throw me lately.

“Why don’t you invite Nikki over too? Or maybe Maeve?”

My toes curled under at that last. Maeve may or may not have been the reason Brass and I finally broke up. I hadn’t decided yet. Either way, I couldn’t imagine him volunteering to hang out with her.

“I wouldn’t subject you to that....”

“Ki, I told you I’m alright with it. Have her over, see if you still feel all tingly.”

I laughed, but it was hardly humorous. “I can’t believe you’re encouraging me to get my flirt on in front of you.”

I could feel him shrug through the line, that careless raise of a shoulder that meant everything and nothing.

“You’re too shy to do it yourself. I’m just gonna keep inventing reasons to get you two together until you get over yourself. Or she asks you.”

“Brass!”

But now I was really laughing, and his goal was achieved. I felt better, so he felt better. Stupid big brother mother hen. I smiled through the rest of the phone call, chatting about everything and nothing, and feeling more like myself than I had in a long time.

-

Raev’s general tag list: As always, let me know if you want to be added or removed or whatevs (especially since this is kind of a far cry from what I usually do)

List is currently: @lordkingsmith @writinglyra @drbibliophile @mperialscribe @adie-dee @lexiklecksi @theramwrites @writinginslowmotion @faithfire @apollon-arium  @thehellinsideyourhead @raenawrites @adventuresofacreesty @anika-writes.

[elfandomdelpandicornioyeldorito]

Chapter 4. Epiphany (Willow Series)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Valentina Rivera (OC)

Word count: 1478

Trigger Warning: angst. Language, emotional distress and problems, mentions of anxiety, insecurities and love advises.

Disclaimer: I don’t own any Marvel character, only the Original Characters are mine. English is not my mother tongue.

General Masterlist - Willow Series Masterlist- Abuelita Rivera Spanish Lesson- The Val Playlist

Gifts and pictures aren’t mine

Around three months, that was the amount of time that Valentina had spent outside her magical hut, her grace time was over, her vacations finally ended, she needed to get back on track with school, research and family calls.

Fortunately, Mr. Mkanthama stayed in Wakanda with them, being their research tutor and professor, but was also able to find a way to put them in one of the Wakandan Universities as the first exchange students, so they can keep studying.

Her research mates were mad when she came back to the apartment in the city, they claim that she was a bad friend for leaving in the name of her mental health, it turn out that they weren’t the good friends that she believed, all of them left as soon as they could, renting other places with their money as far away from her, and applying the ice law, Valentina was completely alone this time, but it wasn’t the first time someone did that to her.

"Sure you are fine? You stay the whole day since the start of the semester in this auditorium listening to me" Mr.Mkanthama walks up until reaching Val, in the last row, eating an instant soup and working on some assignment in her laptop.

"The rest of the people I came with are acting like children because I left like four months for the sake of health, and I don’t want to stay at the apartment with my thoughts, that shit is dangerous"

"Language"

"Sorry"

"What are you working on?" the man sits in the space next to her

"Happy you ask. Well, the last class we discussed about sentient weapons and your assignment is about when and how there exists a line between a sentient weapon and an intelligent weapon, right?" the man nods" Well, intelligent weapons needs from algorithms that at the same time learn the social abilities from the internet, what they mimic is not natural and doesn’t look natural but, we have sentient weapons like The Vision, and along all this time since its creation we all can see how much socially has involved and is capable to also be emphatic, and that’s the key, the ability to understand and respond to people's emotions, sentient weapons are capable of learn without being connected to the internet, they learn like a child, and that makes them almost humans. So, the discussion now is if we need laws or legal responsibilities for the sentient weapons. Why? Well, if they can learn and develop the same sense of ethics and values as a human, that means that they have hundred percent of right over their bodies and can choose if they want to be turned into weapons or not"

"So, you are trying to develop the same rights and responsibilities that people have in sentient weapons even if they are weapons?"

"Yes and no, if they are able to think by their own with no web trends or biased ideology they can chose the moment in which they want to stop being weapons"

"You are open a philosophical debate here"

"You know it's me when this kind of subject appears" they both laugh.

At the end, as always, Val felt confident about what she was writing, but once again alone with her inside voice, she wasn’t feeling that confident of her life decisions.

It was 2pm when Val arrived at her silent apartment, tired and with her head thinking in thousands of things and nothing at the same time. She climbs to her bed, with the cellphone in her hands and headphones on, when the call finally comes, she answers.

"Hola abuela" she greeted over the phone

"Suenas como mierda" Valentina chuckles" Espero que sea por algo bueno"

Valentina sighs.

"Kind of. I have a question for you"

"Tell me"

"How do I know that I fell in love?"

"Well, I have a checklist."She takes a pause" you feel comfortable with that person? Do you like to spend time with him? Do you like to share what you like with him? Do you think about him when you are not close to him?"

"All of them are yes"

"Then yes, you are in love, mija"

"What happens when I kiss that person in a stupid impulse?"

"¿Qué hiciste qué? ¿Como que besaste en un impulso? ¿qué piensas? ¿Cómo pasa eso?" the voice of her aunt Gloria suddenly appears, that moment she knew she was screwed.

" I was leaving town, the town i met him, but i never told him why i was leaving… and i felt so nervous of being that close to him that i kissed him with no warning… and then left…"

On the other side of the phone, Val was able to hear her aunts, her grandma, and even her brother Miguel, all of them arguing about how stupid she was in not telling him that she liked him, that she would love something with him.

If she had only told him the truth, she wouldn't feel so broken and devastated to leave him, and possibly not see him anymore …

She didn't know who took the phone and walked away from the crowd until that person spoke.

"Hey, I heard, how are you actually feeling? " Val heard the voice of Miguel.

"Honestly? Very high in anxiety, i shouldn't had to kiss him that way"

"How do you feel when you two are close?"

"Is nice, he listens… like for real, he notices the details of the stories. I feel peace close to him, but also I feel nervous because I don't want to screw it. I think of him 24/7…"

"That, that is love, so do yourself a favour, the next time you see him, you tell him what you feel for him"

Valentina suddenly feels guilt, Bucky was healing, what if she just made the process or the wound worse? What happens if he just was polite? What if he felt uncomfortable around her with the kiss?

"Migue… i don't know…"

"No, you know. Think of mom, she always said that tienes que agarrar el toro por los cuernos, yes? Then do that, tell him the moment you got the chance, and if he doesn't feels the same, the ones that lose is him"

Tears began to fall from her eyes, and suddenly she felt overwhelmed, anxious. She wanted to get back home, to travel back in time and speak with her mom about Bucky and what she felt, to put an end to all her questions.

Question. All in Buckys head since he was defreeze and since the departure of Valentina are questions.

His head was in a stormy cloud asking himself if he was the reason why Val left with no explanation or goodbye, if she somehow found his past and now left because was scared, or because she hated him for who he was and the things he did. Bucky still wasn’t able to understand one thing, and that was the kiss. She kissed him, they both kissed like flustered catholic teenagers one night before she left, did he surpass some line and didn’t know?

It was another day doing farm work, under the strong sun and the impossible heat, the man looked in the direction of the hut, which was now empty. He felt something in his heart when she didn't arrive at 4pm like before, he also felt disappointed when he turned around believing that he listened to her voice but she was nowhere to be found. That was his routine now. Wanting her company and finding nothing at the end, and that hurts deep in his chest. He felt something similar before Wakanda, when he was a HYDRA fugitive, wanting and craving for company, a silent cry for help but finding nothing more than his intrusive thoughts at the end of the day.

Time just pass, day or night, it felt the same for him, a tasteless routine: go to sleep, wake up in the middle of the night surrounded by his thoughts and nightmares, staying in bed watching his surroundings, stepping out of the bed early, farm work, eat, going to bed again. He even forgot how much time has passed since he was all alone by himself with no happiness or light in it.

He felt like a coward, unable to let his feelings show to the women that never accused him for his past, saying that he loved her was too early, but he indeed felt something, something that he didn’t feel since a lot of years ago and that was love.

The only different thing that day was the arrival of T’Challa and Okoye, the king placed a safety box on the bales of hay, in it, his new arm, he knew what that meant.

"Where 's the fight?" he finally asks.

Tag: @pinkpondofasgard @invisibleanonymousmonsters @dance-dreamer @americasmarauders @autumn-and-rain

[gershwinn]

Lili Reinhart Never Had a Backup Plan

A fan favorite on the wildly popular teen soap Riverdale, Lili Reinhart has major movie stardom in her sights. And if you ask nicely, she just might read your horoscope.

Refreshingly, Reinhart is not vegan, gluten-free, keto, or on a macrobiotic diet. She is a self-described picky eater and considers this a treat. "No one wants to go [here] with me," she says, excitedly, when we sit down. Though Reinhart is dressed unfussily, in a faded black tee, Topshop denim jacket, jeans, thin hoop earrings, and a taupe baseball cap pulled over her buttery blonde hair, she is promptly approached by a woman at the next table. There's a lot the cap isn't hiding. Off-screen, Reinhart's eyes look as wide, upturned, and full-lashed as a Disney princess's; her clear, milky complexion is dotted youthfully with freckles; and her dimples seem to take turns showing off: a slight divot in her chin, then twin creases that show up on either side of her face when she's amused.

The woman leans over and asks Reinhart if she is on TV. Reinhart's lips tighten, and a wince flickers at her eyes, but she gives a polite smile and nods slowly. The woman plows on. Her son is a big fan, she says, motioning to a grinning boy beside her. He's an aspiring actor, and they're in town from Texas to give it a try. Reinhart relaxes a bit. She asks what part of Texas they are from, sincerely congratulates the boy on his endeavors, and turns to resume our interview. Reinhart says this moment — and others like it — is more full circle than she would care to admit.

"It's funny. I went to this Cheesecake Factory with my mom when I was, like, 15," she says. "We had flown in for an audition. I was sitting at the table over there, and I remember I got the email that I didn't get the part." Also around that time, Reinhart recalls spotting Zac Efron in a doctor's-office waiting room and surreptitiously snapping a photo of the actor. "I feel so gross about it now," she says. "It is flattering, but it also makes you feel like a zoo animal. Even when I'm sitting in the cast greenroom, if [someone is] holding their phone up like this, I'm like, ‘What are you doing?' I've become very paranoid."

I ask what she thinks about that F-word: fame. She changes the subject. "Cute boots," she remarks. I am flattered and launch into a monologue about how much I love Primark, specifically the one in Madrid, before realizing what she's done and ask her once more to talk. About. Fame. "It's so weird," she says, finally. "I don't really think about it until I'm around people. I don't think about it until I see young women, because those are the people that recognize me. Then all of a sudden, I become very aware."

True to her word, I notice Reinhart physically tenses up every time a teenage girl — or worse, a group of teenage girls — nears us. But when she's not on high alert for high schoolers, Reinhart is unguarded to a degree I would not expect from any stranger, much less one whose privacy is under constant scrutiny. For starters, she texts me directly, rather than having an assistant or manager handle our communication (standard for most celebrities).

Later that night, we decide on a meeting location for the next day. "As long as we go somewhere with eggs, I'm happy," she texts, before we settle on Dialog Cafe in West Hollywood and push back the time — neither of us feels like showing up before 9 a.m. Reinhart has an ease and openness in conversation that makes talking to her feel more like a slumber party than an interview. She volunteers thoughts on cute babies (just her goddaughter, for now), romantic love (something she prefers to fall into rarely, and fiercely), taking a spouse's surname (she favors hyphenation), and being the "grandma" of her friend group.

"When I get drunk, my friends act like it's a national holiday," Reinhart says. She offers up snippets from her camera roll and Instagram direct messages: photos of the hot-air balloon ride her boyfriend, Cole Sprouse, took her on for her birthday, and a dog she wishes were up for adoption — a shaggy shelter pup with no eyes. And just when I think I couldn't feel any more like the real-life Veronica to her Betty, she asks me if I want to go shopping.

Reinhart leads us by memory through a sprawling Barnes & Noble, up to two flights of escalators, then over to the left and back toward the windows, until we end up in the self-improvement section. Reinhart used to come here with friends, back when she first moved to L.A., and spend time poring over books like The Secret Language of Your Name. She tells me the provenance of her given name: Daniel and Amy Reinhart of Cleveland fell in love, got married, and named their second daughter after the actor Lili Taylor. There wasn't any special connection. "They just liked the spelling of her name. It's the French spelling."

Reinhart drags a dictionary-thick tome from the shelf. "This is a book that I own," she says, handing it to me. It's as weighty as a textbook — it has to be, because it guarantees deep and profound knowledge about absolutely everyone, based on their date of birth. She helps me look up mine, which is hilariously titled the Day of Sensual Charisma. Hers is September 13, which the book has ordained the Day of Passionate Care. She reads the entry aloud. "Resilient determination. That sounds about right," she says. "This part is very true: ‘They may face great obstacles to their success, but not for a moment will the outcome be in doubt for them.' I always knew this is what I was going to do. I never had a plan B." It might be difficult to imagine what the aforementioned "great obstacles" have been, considering the fact that she had landed her role on Riverdale by the age of 19.

But being young and female in just about any work environment can have its dark side. Reinhart was 16 when an adult work associate attempted to force himself on her. "I felt physically pinned down to the ground while someone dry humped me, basically," she says. She has spoken publicly about the assault before — but in retrospect, she believes those statements were premature. "I think I shared my story…before I had really understood it," Reinhart says. "I kept thinking of it as something physical, but it was more so a psychological abuse...that spanned a couple of months. I went along with it and was trying to get his approval because we were working together…. I wanted my work environment to be easy."

She was also a minor at the time, being exploited by someone in a position of power. It's clearly difficult for Reinhart to recount. When trying to recall details — how long it went on, whether verbal abuse was involved — she speaks evenly, but frequently pauses and tells me that that time in her life is "blurry" or that she's "locked it away." "What makes me hopeful is people like [Supergirl and Glee actor] Melissa Benoist sharing her story of domestic abuse with the world, because I think she helped a lot of people by doing that. When people come forward about a sexual abuse experience or physical abuse or them struggling with a disorder, they're encouraging other people to not suffer in silence."

Another personal obstacle Reinhart has been vocal about is mental health. She recently read an article she can't get out of her head, about a child under the age of 10 who ended his life after being severely bullied. "Now more than ever, we need to be bringing the idea of mental health into schools and teaching it," Reinhart says. "It's about communicating clearly." She recalls experiencing crippling anxiety when she was growing up. "I felt very alone. But I was not being bullied, which made it really hard for my parents to understand," Reinhart says.

Her high school experience couldn't have been more different from that of Betty Cooper, who drifts easily between cheerleading, running the school newspaper, and solving mysteries, with a cadre of unusually attractive friends by her side. "I went through a semester when I didn't have any friends in my lunch period, and I didn't want to sit in a huge cafeteria by myself, so I would find classrooms to go sit in alone, or spend time in the bathroom, just chilling," she recalls.

By the time Reinhart began working (she supported herself as a waitress and a Pier 1 sales associate before she landed Riverdale), she was just trying to get through the week without having a panic attack.

Now that time in her life is growing distant. And she'll get to go to prom for the first time, on this season of the show. "Three and a half years ago, I had no money. I didn't have a love in my life like I do now. I didn't have any sort of confidence that I was on the right track, and now I have those things," Reinhart says. And her momentum shows no signs of stopping. The week after our interview, she filmed her first commercial for CoverGirl, which recently signed her as one of its faces. A forthcoming collection of her poetry, Swimming Lessons, will hit bookstores this May.

Pay, or equal pay, has been an issue and probably will continue to be. But Reinhart is prepared. "Cami [Mendes, who plays Veronica] and I have had to deal with that from Riverdale," Reinhart says.

"Going into projects in the future, I'm much more aware of it. So is my lawyer." She's also learned from the experiences of women like Michelle Williams and Taraji P. Henson. "I was taking notes," she says. "Taraji Henson had said something like, when she renegotiated for Empire, she knew her value to the show. She knew what that value was, and she demanded it." Reinhart pauses, choosing her words, sounding more sure of herself with each sentence: "I do know the value that I bring as someone who attracts an audience. And I'm not going to accept less than what I think I'm worth. And it's okay to fight for what I'm worth."

Source: Allure

[who-is-olivia]

Track 10. From the Dining Table

Harry Styles x OC

Harry struggles with loneliness after Olivia refuses to answer his calls. [2.4k]

Genre: angst

Warnings: substance abuse, sexual language

 December 2016

  He calls her one more time. It beeps, beeps, beeps and it ends up on mail. It must be the tenth message he sends but he does so anyway.

“Hey love, it’s me again. We haven’t spoke since you went away and I hate this silence, if you don’t want to talk to me can I at least know why?” he begs to the cold phone, hunching over his knees with a hand holding back his hair. “I know I was an asshole, I’m so so sorry, but I want to talk. Can you please call me? Even if it’s just to shout at me and call me names? I love you”

  He wipes the corners of his eyes, not in shame, just to avoid his mates asking what’s going on. Harry leaves the waiting room and walks in the studio where Ryan and Mitch are tweaking his recording of Two Ghosts. The album is almost done, they only miss a couple more songs to close the set. As he sits beside Mitch, he notices his friend’s worried gaze as if he could hear his failed attempts through the acoustic protection.

“Nothing?” he asks.

“Just silence” Harry sighs and Mitch pats his leg in comfort.

“Why don’t you go to New York?”

“I don’t know if she’s there, she could be with her grandma in New Orleans or Rio, she could be in London, I wouldn’t know”

“She’s not answering my texts either” Mitch replies. It’s as if, overnight, Olivia vanished from the face of the Earth. “Not even Frank”

  He leaves the studio late and walks back to his hotel. A few fans stop him on the way, he’s not on the mood to be his usual cheerful self but he still obliges when they ask for pictures. One of them has a t-shirt with her album cover, when he looks up he’s almost speechless.

“You okay?” she asks, a mix of elation and awkwardness.

“Yeah, you just... remind me of someone”

“Olivia, right? I get that a lot” she laughs, “There was a time I copied her braids, people stopped me in the streets for pictures”

This time, he chuckles as well. Oli loves taking pictures, it appeals so much to her vanity it’s exhausting. She’s not a very sympathetic person when it comes to interacting with strangers, but she always made her fans an exception. “That’s crazy”

“Can you send her a picture of me? I’m a huge fan”

At her request his weak smile falters. He’d love to send her a picture but she won’t notice it, she won’t reply, she won’t care. “Of course”

He politely takes a picture with her and pretends to send it to Oli. “Thank you so much”

“Do you live nearby?”

“No, I’m staying at the Hilton, I’m actually from Mexico”

“So am I! I mean, staying at the Hilton, I’m quite British” she laughs at his clumsy excuse, “Do you want me to walk you back, maybe get a few drinks?”

“Sure!”

  He tried to forget her, he tried to drown away his sorrow and sleep with someone else to fix the problem but he failed pitifully. His drunken haziness only caused him to sob over someone, and looking at her likeness made it even worse. He wasn’t struggling for the lack of sex, that’d be easy to fix, he misses her entirely, body and soul. He misses her company, her weird insights, her particular taste for rom-coms and the strange foods she smuggles from her hometown. He misses her touch, the texture of her collarbones and the way her hair smells in the morning, he misses the stargazing and the way her eyes shine like a dark sky with a single star...

  When he wakes up the morning after, her twin fan is sleeping on his bed while he gets up from the couch. She’s dressed from head to toe, only her shoes are stored nicely in a corner. By the time, he’s already missed a fine amount of working hours in the studio. A text from Mitch begs him to stay at the hotel and try to work himself out, better than sniffle over his shoulder while he tries to work. He works his dizzy way to the bed and pokes the young woman.

“Oli... I-I mean...” he steps away, trying to recover her name somewhere in his drunken mind. “Luna?”

“Hm?” she rubs her eyes open.

“Hey” he strokes her arm clumsily, “Morning. I might need to leave in a few minutes, you’re a guest here right?”

“Oh, yes” she gets up in a stretch. “I’m so sorry”

“It’s alright, thank you for last night”

“It was nothing” she recalls him laying on her lap bawling his eyes out as she tries to comfort him the best she can. “I hope you figure yourself out”

“Thank you” he pulls her in for a friendly hug and walks her to the door.

  Now that he’s alone, he takes his phone again to no avail. She won’t answer, she won’t even listen to his voicemail. He then googles her name to search for recent news, the most recent one is about Frank’s new affair and his sister’s approval, the last one indicating her location is three months old, when she joined him in Jamaica. He checks her social media, Frank’s, all her former bandmate’s but when he least expects it, he finds a clue.

  Her friend Matty, who he hasn’t seen in months, posted a photo wearing one of Harry’s old t-shirts, a white one he wore to a Burberry fashion show. Without a second thought, he reaches out.

“‘ello? Who’s this?”

“Hey, it’s Harry, Harry Styles” he immediately regrets the call. It is a stupid idea, he shouldn’t be intruding.

“Oh, hey! Sorry, didn’t recognize your voice”

“I’m sorry... listen chap, I need to ask you something and you might find it weird but when was the last time you saw Olivia?”

He ponders for a moment, “She came by when her tour began last year, but we haven’t talked much ever since” Harry sighs in defeat, “But I saw Frank last weekend when I was in LA”

“Weird, I just saw a picture of you with a shirt just like mine-“

“It probably is, I got it from Frank” he shuts his eyes in realization. Of course, Frank is like a damn vampire, only he takes his peer’s clothes. “He stole a shirt from me, thought I’d do the same to him”

“Did he mention anything about Oli at all?”

“No, she said she’s just fine... but he was weird about it, I could tell” Matty confesses, always prizing his truthfulness.

“I see... cheers mate, sorry for the weird questions”

“No problem, let me know if you need anything”

  Another finished phone call, another silence. He hates the silence, all that’s left in silence are his troubled thoughts. Slowly he falls back to sleep thinking about her, dreaming of their home in New York, Oli waking up early to water the plants as he played the guitar in the garden, making dinner together, napping together at their studio’s couch after a long day of work. He wakes up a bit lost and finds his writing journal few inches away from a pool of wine he accidentally spilled last night. He hoisters the journal carefully but lets something fall in that puddle: a map.

“No, no no no” he picks it up and runs to the bathroom pressing the white towels against the paper. He unfolds the thing and stares in slight relief as the whole thing wasn’t too affected. That map of New York has so many precious memories recorded on it, her handwriting is all over the place. He finds the spot east of Central Park where she marked with a circle and wrote ‘home’.

  He wants to go home, he wants to relive their good moments and make new ones. Every piece of poetry in that book somehow reminds him of her. There’s the one describing how he felt after their vacation in Rio, when he got to see her interacting with the place she grew up on. She was so fulfilled, so joyful... He had then rented a penthouse across the street from the beach where they could see the whole coastline. They’d wake up in bliss, make love all morning and spend hours just on pillow talk. Then he’d take her to the sea and hold her legs around his waist, leaning to kiss her between the waves, her touch light on him. He called the poem “Waves in Her Eyes”, he never felt like making it a song, just a good reverie.

  One of his favorites, “Spotlight”, is about watching her perform. She feels so in sync with her music, it’s like she’s possessed by it. He always idealized her when he saw her onstage, after all she looked other-worldly beautiful, but coming off stage that side of her disappeared and she was just Oli: playful, simple, charming Oli. He remembers watching her practice when she’d spend the weekends in his flat in London, one earpod giving her the playback as he could only hear her powerful low-pitched voice roaring the melodies.

  He dozes off quite often, waking up randomly to read another poem, drink some wine and doze off again. When it’s noon, he picks up the phone to no messages of her.

“Hey Oli, it’s me again. This is getting old, but I just want to talk to you... You’re so fucking complicated, ay? Why won’t you ever say what you wanna say?” he spits bitterly but immediately regrets it. “Sorry, in your defense, that side of you never stopped me from loving you. I do it almost like breathing. But now... I know I’ve fucked up, but so did you. I’ll never give up on us but I’m tired of apologizing to silence, maybe one day you’ll call me and tell me that you’re sorry too... who am I kidding, you never do, do you?”

  He loses track of the days he’s spent in the hotel room. One evening, Mitch comes around with his guitar to play something he’s working on but Harry barely clocks in.

“This is a bunch of shit” Mitch groans, looking around the place.

“Sorry mate, I’m not really in the mood for it”

“By the looks of it, your mood is only self-pity and wine. I could agree with wine but self-pity isn’t cool”

“I’ve never felt less cool, Mitch” Harry sighs.

“Fuck’s sake... Harry, go to New York”

“She might not be there-“

“She might be” he counters, willing to play cup half-full if it gets his friend out of this mess.

“I have to finish the album”

“You’re not finishing the album like this”

“I’ll write you something, I promise” he insists, the album is the last string he has grounding him to her world, he needs to finish it.

“Don’t force yourself to it, do what you want whenever you want it. I’ll be right here pal”

“Thanks Mitch”

  He doesn’t remember when he left, nor how he came to the hotel room in the first place, but now he finds himself at the dinning table staring down a blank page of his journal. There’s so much he feels but very little he can put into words. In his haze, he thinks about writing about a particularly steamy night they spent together. It started with them making out on the couch, but slowly their touches became more daring and things got heated. He can’t take the pen to write as he’s too busy playing with himself.

He feels disgraceful, unable to work, to leave the hotel or do anything but feel sorry for himself. But suddenly, his phone rings. In a room so doomed by silence, his ringtone feels like a needle piercing his eardrums. “Hello?”

“Harry?” Frank asks from the other end of the line, “Is that you? Are you ok?”

“How the fuck you think I am?” he answers in a fickle tone, “Why didn’t you answer my texts, I’ve been trying to talk to you for days”

“I know man, I feel awful about it”

“Where is she?” his anger simmers to a small whimper.

“She’s in New York”

“Why won’t she answer my calls?”

Frank dallies with his words trying to find the best ones for this situation, “Harry, there’s something she needs to tell you but she doesn’t know how”

“What is it?” he begs.

“I can’t tell you, I swore to her I wouldn’t”

“Ain’t that precious: she can’t tell me, you can’t tell me, I might as well just fuck off”

Frank feels the full weight of his heart-break, which is in part his fault as he couldn’t talk Olivia through her silence, but this is his only chance to atone. “Tomorrow we’ll play at Jim’s to celebrate the band’s anniversary, 9:00 pm. Your name will be on the list. Don’t miss it”

  Without further ado, he ends the call.

  Harry leaps up in a burst of energy and starts packing his stuff. With everything packed, he looks at the mess he left in the room. If Anne was in this hotel room, she’d bash him up for his behavior, so in honor of her education he makes sure to leave the place spotless. After that, he texts Frank an apology. They both fucked up, but Frank never deserved this treatment. Years of friendship have made him look at his in-law through Oli’s lens, her undying love for him is contagious.

“Hey love, if you haven’t heard any of my voicemail you won’t hear this either, but I’m coming home. What I’m doing here without you doesn’t make sense. I hope when we get to see each other we’ll figure ourselves out, ‘cause this small taste of life without you is quite miserable... anyway, we’ll sort ourselves out. I love you”

  He books himself an overnight ticket to New York and leaves, spending the whole trip trying to justify his absence to Ryan and the other producers. He can't work until he's got Oli back, or at least until they're sorted out.

  He arrives at Jim's pub almost at the end of the show, calmly strolling down the snowy streets. The doors open to a crowded hall, he has to squeeze between the guests to find a privileged spot. Once he gets it, there's nothing between him and Oli. He sighs and smiles until her eyes find his beneath the spotlight.

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Masterlist

[tagsecretsanta]

From Gumnut

to @scattergraph

I don’t own this, full credit to the author above

Title: We’ll be home for Christmas

Prologue: ‘Twas the week before Christmas

Author: Gumnut

8 Dec 2019

Fandom: Thunderbirds Are Go 2015/ Thunderbirds TOS

Rating: Teen

Summary: The boys can’t fly home for Christmas, so they have to find another way.

Word count: 1437 

Spoilers & warnings: language and so, so much fluff. Minor various ships, mostly background.

Timeline: Christmas Season 3, I have also kinda ignored the main storyline of Season 3. The boys needed a break, so I gave them one. Post season 3B, before Season 3C cos we haven’t seen it yet.

Author’s note: This is my 2019 TAG Secret Santa fic and it is a big one ::headdesk:: I hope you enjoy it. I know I have thoroughly enjoyed researching a gorgeous corner of this planet. 

My prompts were:

TAG Christmas pudding contest, points awarded for taste, originality and flammability.

“I don’t care if it’s Christmas…you ARE NOT bringing THAT back to the Island!”

Driving home for Christmas.

I’ll let you work out which I managed to include in this :D

Many thanks to @vegetacide and @scribbles97 for cheering me on and their wonderful support through this craziness. And to @onereyofstarlight for geeking out with me over the setting.

And as always, thank you all for creating such a fantastic fandom. Thundernerds rock! I hope you all have a wonderful festive season. Thank you all so much for everything.

Disclaimer: Mine? You’ve got to be kidding. Money? Don’t have any, don’t bother.

Looking back, it really could have happened to any of them. Hell, now it had happened once, it was even more likely it could happen to any of the rest of them, but of course it had to be Virgil and, of course, it had to happen a week before Christmas.

Fortunately, not only Gordon and Alan, but also John was aboard Thunderbird Two when her pilot folded in half with a groan. The great green behemoth responded to his touch and for a second there, the whole ship tipped sideways.

Alan lost his hard-earned sandwich, and Gordon, who had been half asleep in the co-pilot’s chair, despite the coffee he had consumed not five minutes ago, received an adrenalin spike that was well used in the next half an hour or so.

It had been a hard week. Australia was on fire. Every year the drought dried continent suffered and every year International Rescue did all it could to help. Brains had even designed some specialised equipment, deployed through Tracy Industries to help dampen the eucalypt fuel load, but the change of climate over the last hundred odd years had done its damage and the ecosystem suffered for it.

It was painful to watch.

And tiring to fight.

John had taken to coming down not only for Christmas, but for the fires. He had developed a communications network, tied into TB5, to help coordinate the fire services of the country and pin point the hot spots. At the end of the last outbreak, Gordon had been gobsmacked to find his usually reclusive brother sprawled in a chair beside the Australian Fire Defense Network chief, beer in hand, swapping stories.

It had helped that the chief was the middle of five himself and a communications specialist pushed into management. There was much commiseration.

But none of the past really foretold this little hiccup.

Later when Gordon referred to said incident as a ‘hiccup’, Virgil’s eyebrows had frowned so much, they’d physically climbed off his head and slapped Gordon around his.

Or it could have been Virgil’s hand. Gordon was too busy ducking to really identity the body parts his brother was using.

So, with three brothers aboard, Virgil had plenty of back up.

Gordon was fully awake and stabilising Two before he had even had a chance to draw in a breath. They were halfway across the Tasman Sea, finally on the way home for a well-deserved break.

“Virgil?” John was out of his seat and moving towards the pilot.

“Uh, I’m okay.” The man straightened, still in his silver firefighting suit, minus the helmet. A quick look in his brother’s direction and Gordon could see it was all a lie. Even through the soot on Virgil’s face, his brother’s complexion was pale, almost green. “Just a stitch.”

“Doesn’t look like one from here, bro.” Gordon frowned as John gently nudged Virgil back in his seat. The pilot closed his eyes and lay back, his shoulders dropping just a little. John reached over to the console and flicked a couple of switches. Virgil’s vitals sprang up in all their holographic glory.

Even Gordon could see something was seriously wrong. “You have a fever. What the hell, Virg?”

His brother stared at his stats and frowned. “Just thought I was hot.”

No surprise considering the conditions they were working in.

John sighed. “Your suit has active refrigeration, Virgil, you know that. You should be the coolest of all of us.”

If it had been a different situation, Gordon would have then started a ‘discussion’ on who exactly was the coolest or the hottest of the brothers. As it was, another groan from his engineer brother killed all conversation other than medical concern.

“What is it?” John disengaged Virgil’s seat from the dash, pulling it back and giving him access to his older brother.

“My side.” Virgil’s eyes were squeezed shut.

His lower right side.

Five minutes later and Gordon was beelining Two to the nearest hospital, which turned out to be Auckland near the northern tip of New Zealand.

Less than an hour later, Virgil had his very angry appendix removed.

Of all things.

For the past three days, it had been a mixture of firefly pod and fire exo-suit. His brother had been tossing about massive hoses, shifting huge amounts of timber, excavating firebreaks and water bombing from Two.

Apparently, all while suffering from appendicitis.

When Scott arrived on scene, he was a walking facepalm.

When Virgil woke up, it was all kind words for the first hour or so while he recovered from the anaesthetic, but after that, the tongue lashing Scott delivered was enough to strip the paint off the walls of Virgil’s hospital room.

Grandma ended up dragging the man from the room.

Everyone was quiet after that.

No one liked it when Scott got scared.

Least of all Scott.

But even Gordon had to agree that his eldest brother had a point. Appendicitis wasn’t something that didn’t come with symptoms. Virgil admitted that he had noted some pain, but he had been busy. There had been more important things.

Scott’s response to that was only suitable for mature audiences.

Gordon couldn’t help but agree after having to watch his brother writhe in pain on one of his own hover stretchers while they had been on approach to Auckland.

But it had happened when it had happened and everyone was safe, Virgil included. There were much worse scenarios available considering their occupations and the entire family was grateful it had turned out best it could.

Scott was still livid, though, likely because the man was exhausted. They were all exhausted.

Grandma eyed all of them in turn, cornering each of them in their hotel rooms. It didn’t take her more than half a day to conclude that International Rescue needed a well-earned break. Virgil’s illness made a great excuse and her meeting with Scott was short, sharp and to the point.

The Commander of International Rescue contacted the GDF not long after, advising their aunt that their organisation would not be available for the next week. Eos was tasked with redirecting emergency calls after Grandma grabbed John by the scruff of his neck and with an equally sharp word in his ear, grounded the spaceman beside his brothers.

Virgil received a few glares, but the tired man just rolled over awkwardly and went back to sleep. Apparently, he agreed with Grandma.

Always did, the big Grandma softie.

Except perhaps with her cooking, but that led Virgil to being the biggest victim in that department because despite his incapacity to lie, he would do anything for the woman.

Virgil was released from the hospital a day after his surgery and they helped him back to their hotel rooms and set him up with the holoprojector and an appropriate stash of snacks and engineering journals. Kayo even bought him a sketchbook and an array of art materials.

For two days, the brothers hung out with him or darted out to the shops for convenience’s sake. Copious amounts of takeout were consumed, a treat they were often denied on the Island. But ultimately five usually very active men got very bored very quickly.

They couldn’t go home, because Virgil wasn’t allowed to fly. His operation excluded air travel for at least seven days, which meant, to add insult to injury, they would be stuck on the mainland for Christmas Day.

Their first Christmas off in who knew how many years, and they couldn’t even share it at home.

John distracted himself by linking in with Eos and helping out with emergency calls...until Grandma discovered him and rounded on both him and Eos with the ire Scott had managed to inherit.

Both father and daughter behaved after that, Eos a little stunned at the power of the eldest Tracy.

Alan dove into his computer games and hermitized. Gordon could only swim so much, so resorted to pranking Alan, which ended up in the brawl of the century and half the penthouse draped in toilet paper.

Scott turned to Tracy Industries and began phone calls that lasted hours. Virgil sent Gordon to chase him down.

Scott quite frankly ignored him, which led to Virgil hauling himself off the couch and doing the chasing himself.

That led to a screaming match that ended with both men pale when Virgil twisted angrily and groaned as he pulled at his stitches.

The atmosphere plummeted after that and the whole penthouse floor deteriorated into a sullen gloom.

It was shaping up to be an ass of a Christmas.

Until Gordon had an idea.

[bonelesswords]

a study of souls | alex høgh andersen au

- masterlist

gif credit: @lol-haha-joke

Chapter three: Megan

Warnings: Languae, sexual content, mentions and using of drugs, mentions of a toxic relationships, grammar mistakes (english is not my first language)

The university had started a week ago and it has been quite light. That's why after finishing my turn at the bakery on saturday afternoon, I take a shower and I put on my pajamas, ready to get into bed and not leve until the next day.

Only at that moment I feel like the week has ended, and it feels like a relief. When I walked out of the university on friday I could let out a long sigh, perhaps proclaiming victory, my first week had ended.

  I didn't want my life to revolve around the man I fell in love with a year ago,  but when I walked through those halls and climbed those stairs again, I couldn't help but think of him. The nostalgia hit me instantly, but soon it became anguish and fear. Fear of crossing William on one of those halls, who used to work there. However, he seemed to keep his word, he doesn't work there anymore.

By friday, almost sure that he wasn't going to appear in that place, the feeling of anguish was almost nonexistent, I hope that during the course of the year it disappears completely.

I hear the annoying sound of my phone vibrating against the wood of the nightstand beside my bed. When I take my phone in my hands I see the name of my brother shining on the screen.

"Hi June, are you already in bed?" In a mocking tone, his voice fills the earphone.

"Hi Rory, are you already drunk?" I ask in the same tone of voice of his, but unlike me, Rory laughs.

"No, not yet. But it's saturday, I'm calling to verify if you are aware of the said event or if you are staying home tonight."

"Yes, I think I deserve it after this long week."

"No, you don't!" He snaps and I can almost imagine him squinting "You are coming with me tonight, to a party."

"Is there any possibility to say no?" I ask.

"No, not at all. It's at Alex's, he said "bring little June, if she wants to, I bet she want to" ,, He says, imitating Alex's accent. I couldn't deny that the guy who had been flirting with me last week crossed my mind more than once this week.

"So that's my name now?"I ask, avoiding the question just to annoy him.

"Come on, June. I'm trying to get you a social life here, you know?" He sounds irritated, which makes me laugh. I keep quiet as if I were thinking about it, but I already know that the answer is yes.

"Okay, I'll go, but only if after that, you bring me home"

"Right, I'll be there at midnight, then, is that okay?"

"Yes, of course."

I wait for him to say goodbye so I can say goodbye too, but the silence makes its presence in his line. I know what comes next.

"How was week, June?" He finally asks. It comes out of his mouth in a strange but familiar tone. It reminds me of our aunt Rose, grandma's sister. I can count more akward calls with her than times that she came to visit us, I remember, even now, how grandma used to force us to talk to her everytime Rose called when we were kids and I was ten and Rory fourteen. Rose asked "And how have you been in school? What has Lucy cooked for you today?" All unimportant questions, until it seemed she was about to say goodbye, she used to pause first and then, asked that question that Rory and I hated so much " How are you two doing in therapy?" Rory had sounded the same way, and I couldn't blame him, I knew he didn't know how to ask that kind of questions either. He wasn't talking about the university, he was talking about William.

"If your question is that if I've seen any asshole, the answer is no, not any that I'm familiar with." I hear him laughing, almost relieved "But it was alright, better than last year. The only thing that I can hope for this year is cycle full of routines."

"It always can get  worse." He warns me joking and makes me smile.

"You are right, but I hope not."

"It's alright, June. See you later, stay out of trouble."

"I'll try." I say and then I end the call.

When I open my closet, my mind travels directly to William and that upsets me. It makes me angry to think about him when I do something I stopped doing when I was with him, like spend hours preparing for a party and wear night clothes. I wonder if, when he wakes up every sunday beside his wife, thinks of me. Me and all those weekends that we spend in the apartment that he had in the center of town, I wonder if the same thing happens to him as it does to me when I see these  little things and I automatically think in every bad decision I made last year.

Anyway, I am again the same girl who cared a lot about what I was going to use the next day in class, although it was less intense, I was just as dumb. Alex's smile is projected in my mind when I think about what I'm going to wear at night and my stomach turns.

Is it lipstick too much? No, it's not! But the heels that I've always used that are hidden somewhere in my room, they do feel like too much. Preparing to go out always feels like too much for a person with too many doubts like me, and at the same time it feels like I'm not doing enough for my image. For my image, what image? THAT WAS RIDICULOUS. The more I thought about it, the more wrong the decisions I had made feel, suddenly, to stay at home sounded better than going out and expose myself to too many eyes of people I didn't know. But no, I wasn't going to do the same thing that I did last year, I'm twenty one, not sixty five, like grandma. I wasn't going to go to sleep at midnight on a saturday. So I decide on a black top with long sleeves and skinny jeans of the same color, I put on my converse and I wait sitting on the living room sofa until Rory arrives.

When I receive a text from him saying that he's outside, I leave the house closing the door behind me. I sit on the passenger seat and I say hi to him.

Rory talks about his job, at the car shop, talks about cars as if I understood, but I pretend to do it, like he does when I talk about the university.

"Is everyone going to be there?"

"Yes, otherwise I wouldn't go."

"Is Helena going too?" I ask with a curious tone in my voice.

"Yes, why?" He frowns but in the moment that he turns his head and looks at me, with raised brows and a smile on my face, he understands. He rolls his eyes, trying to hide a smile.

"Is it that I know you too well or that you are very obvious, Rory? I think both." Rory looks at me horrorized, with eyes as big as dishes and I burst into a laughter.

"Am I?" He asks and I shake my head.

"No, I'm kidding. I don't think you are obvious but if you are, what about it? I mean, sometimes it doesn't have to be a problem to demonstrate that you are into her. Because, to be honest, you are an attractive guy, If you show interest in her, maybe she will do the same.

"Do you think?" He asks, almost hopeful

"Yes, I think. Go with the flow, that's what they say."

"I hope they are right, then" He says, making me laugh, this time a little bit worried.

Rory parks in front of the bar and when we are both standing on the street, he stars talking about how I must not accept drinks from anyone, as if that wans't something I learned when I was fifteen years old . Since the thing with William happened, it seems that Rory sees me as a girl of fifteen years old again.

He pulls a bunch of keys from the pocket of his leather jacket and opens the door.

"Why do you have a copy of the keys of his house?"

"In case of emergencies." He answers.

"And why do you have one intead of, I don't know, his brother?"

"I'm pretty sure that his brother has a copy as well. Besides, I'm his best friend, if his brother is not available, I am."

He turns around and once the door is open, hurries up the stairs. I want to ask him if Alex exposes himself to "emergencies" frequently, and If it is like that, what kind of emergencies. But Rory doesn't give me the opportunity to continue the conversation, he gestures me with his hand to follow him upstairs. When we are at the top of the stairs, on the right is another door and from outside I can hear the trap music that was already heard from the street, but when Rory opens the door of Alex's house, it explodes.

The room is dark and the only lighting is the lights that come from outside from the large window of the room, but nobody seems to bother. Above our heads, there is a large cloud of smoke that extends throughout the room. There are people playing the console in front of the big tv hanging on the wall, people sitting on the floor, on the balcony. I see a large L-shaped sofa where Travis, Julia, Jack and Helena are sitting.

Rory takes off his jacket and asks me for mine, he tells me that he will leave them in Axel's room. I nod and make my way to my brother's friends, who greet me with a smile on their faces, I sit next to Julia, who seems to be already bored of the party.

"You came!" She says, smiling from ear to ear.

"Of course, I think I was invited."

"I'm glad you came" Says when she sees my brother approaching to Helena and say hi to everyone. She approaches to me to whisper in my ear: "Because Evangeline couldn't make it, and I knew that in the moment that Rory arrives, Helena would be all eyes for him." She winks at me, I laugh. "Sometimes you need a partner in Alex's parties." She says through gritted teeth, too close to my face, adding drama to her words. Suddenly, I feel someone sitting next to me and an arm surrounds my shoulders, making me turn towards the person beside me.

"Are they that bad?" Alex asks. A side smile appears on his face when I look at him in the eyes and and there he is, in a white tshirt, with slightly messy hair. His eyes are red, as well as his swollen lips, it seemed that he had bitted them several times. His face is a little better since the last time I saw him, but it is still a little bruised. Even with the poor lighting I can tell. "Hi Junie."

"Junie?" I ask laughing.

"No, I'm not Junie. I'm Alex." He says and lets out a giggle.

"He gets funny when he smokes weed." Julia explains to me and I nod.

"Yes, but nothing else" confirms me and raises his hands, As if he were declaring himself innocent.

"He means that it is the only thing that the joint makes to him" She explains again.

"It's okay, Julia. I'm pretty sure June doesn't need a stoner translator." Alex cuts Julia and she laughs.

"Oh, no. My role wasn't a stoner translator, but a translator of idiots " She finishes and I burst into a laughter.

"Yeah, I had that coming anyway." Alex accepts and Julia nods happily, but turns when Travis shows her a post on Instagram. "But ey, you came! I told Rory, bring June, I bet she will want to come, and now you are here. Did you pour yourself something to drink? " He starts tripping with his words, and I notice him more awake and hyperactive.

"No, but I'm okay."

"Well, how bad then. Because I told everyone that if they wanted to come, their entrance ticket was a bottle of something, but now I have too many bottles of alcohol in my kitchen."

"Oh, that must be a nightmare for a guy like you, isn't it?" I joke.

"For a guy like me?" He repeats my words, a little curious.

"Yeah, you look like a party guy." I explain myself and he nods.

"Oh, right. I personally don't think I'm a party guy. They said "Alex, you should throw a party." And I said no, but they said "yeah, you should." And I said okay, but only if everyone brings their own alcohol because I'm not going to give free drinks to anybody, and now everyone is here."

"They?" I ask.

"Ah, yes, my friends, other friends."

"Then I don't know if you are a party guy, but you are definitely someone easy to convince. "

"Only when I'm high, the rest of the time I'm a pretty intimidating guy."

"You haven't intimidated me." I tell him and he looks at me with that smile that looked arrogant, and at the same time, totally charming. It makes me shiver how charming it is.

"That's because I haven't started yet." He answers me and takes me off guard. I roll my eyes, when I really want to scream on the floor. "I should have told your brother that if you wanted to come, your entrance ticket was a cake, since you work at the bakery, because after what I smoked I will be hungry."

"I don't give cakes for free. If you want one, you should buy it."

"Then I should go to the bakery one of these day, of course, only if you are there."

"It would be a shame if you go and find my grandmother."

"So which days are you?" He asks and I look at him for a second. I was sure that telling him what days I worked at the bakery was pretty stupid, it meant that I wanted him to go and find me. And perhaps, also, it meant allowing him to think that I would be waiting for him to go. And although it sounded stupid, I did it anyway.

"Weekdays in the afternoon, sometimes I help on Saturdays."

"I must remember that, then."

And that smile appears on his face again.

Little by little I go into the conversation that everyone is having, it is a little difficult for me to deal with Travis's internal jokes, but Julia is quick to explain them to me, which I appreciate, she makes me smile. So far, there is nothing out of place, and everyone seems relaxed. Although for me, there comes a time of the night when the smoke of the place begins to suffocate me a little and I have to go outside to take a breath. I let Rory know and he nods.

There's two girls in the balcony when I go out, both of them are too into their own conversation to notice my presence. I rest my arms on the railing. The wind hits my face and I appreciate it, it's cold but for a moment, I don't care.

Again, for the second time tonight, I feel the presence of the owner of the house right next to me, imitating me, resting his arms on the railing. He doesn't say anything, just look straight ahead just like me.

"I remember the first time I smoked weed." I say suddenly and he turns to look at me.

"Did that stay in your mind?" He asks and I shake my head.

"No, I'm just saying that to fill the silence." He laughs, turning his body a little towards me, I keep looking straight ahead.

"And was it good?"

"No, it was boring and when the effect was gone, I was too sleepy... I slept a lot that night" I answer "I remember that the effect hit different to my friends, they laughed a lot, it was fun. I didn't feel that until the third or fourth time, but I always end up more sleepy than anybody." I turn to see him "I suppose that for you it's different."

"I suppose, yeah." He smiles "For me, it makes everything a little bit chill in these kind of places. The rest of the time I don't need it. " He says and I want to ask him why he needs it in these places, but I don't dare to do it. He remains silent for a few seconds before speaking again. "Can I ask you a question?" I nod, a little doubtful, but he smiles again. "Why is Rory always so willing to take you everywhere?" he asks and I laugh loudly.

"I thought you invited me," I say in a smile.

"Yeah I did. Don't think I didn't. But it seems  a little strange to me that he wants to take his little sister everywhere with him, especially when he flirts with Helena all the time, doesn't he?" He raises his brows and I smile at the thought that everyone knows about Rory liking Helena.

"Yes, I know, I understand the confusion. Actually, he told me today, he wants me to have a social life again, that's what he said." I explain to him and he nods, a little bit confused yet.

"Again?" He repeats curious.

"Ah yes, again. Before New York, the university and everything, my social life was reduced to nothing. I could do it on my own, but he decides to speed up the process, I guess. "

"So he is doing well," he tells me "I mean, the guys like you. And me too, especially me." Our eyes meet, but I squint.

"You are an..." I start saying.

"I know, I know" He interrupts "you don't need to say it" I roll my eyes when I see how an arrogant smile makes its presence on his face. He rights himself. "You are pretty today." He murmurs and I sigh.

"There you go again."

"No, no, I mean it. You are pretty today." Somehow, he makes me smile. He sounds genuine, not like flirting or playing, which takes me out of balance for a second, maybe that's why I can feel my face burning right now, but the thing that horrifies me the most is that he can see it as well.

"Thanks, I guess" I manage to answer, totally embarrassed. A cruel little voice in my head tell me that that hour that I spent repairing myself worth it.

When we come back in, I sit back in the same place and Alex does the same. I look around the room, my gaze stops at a blonde girl, who stares at me, as if she throws knives at me with her eyes. Suddenly, she begins to approach while staring at me, I don't take my eyes off her, I frown, wondering if she has confused me with someone else or she is just high.

I realize that any of my two assumptions are incorrect when she is close enough to me, at the moment when without prior notice she sits on Alex's lap and plants a loud, red kiss on his cheek.

"I haven't seen you all night." She says to him and suddenly, I feel out of place, because Alex knows that I am and the girl who's sitting on him for sure knows it too.

I stare at Julia, who rolls her eyes and grabs my arm so I can get close to her and get away from Alex and his blonde girl. Then, she whispers "Her name is Megan." She explains and I understand the situation now. I whisper to her what Rory and Helena had told me about this girl, Megan, and how Alex got into a fight for her. I haven't seen her all night, but if I was being honest, I didn't pay attention to anybody since I arrived.

Alex and she begin to have, what it seems, a slight discussion. She seems to want to raise her voice but he asks her to calm down, and the only thing I get to hear is him telling her that this isn't a place for discussions. I don't want to keep listening, so I get up and go to the kitchen for something to drink.

I look at the kitchen counter and all the bottles of alcohol, not knowing very well what to do with all of that. After a few minutes, I decide to open a beer and serve it in one of the disposable cups that are there.

A pointed finger touches my back, causing me to turn suddenly. It surprises me when I see the same girl who was sitting on Alex a few minutes ago is right in front of me, looking at me with an almost friendly smile, almost. She is taller than me, and certainly more beautiful. I would never have wear that tight black dress that she was wearing. She has a smile who could kill anybody, and a body too. When such a girl stood right in front of you, it was impossible not to get a little jealous.

"Hello" She says slowly. I look at her for a few seconds before answering.

"Hello?" The insecurity sneaks into my voice and I have to clear my throat.

"I am Megan, you must be June." Megan introduces herself and I nod, I don't know why.

"Yeah, that's me. Do we know each other?" I know immediately that the words that have come out of my mouth sound a bit hostile, but she doesn't flinch.

"No, but I have a feeling we're going to" He explains to me and I want to laugh because of the nerves caused by the conversation, I have always laughed when I feel nervous. I immediately remember Rory saying that he doesn't like Megan, and that nobody likes her, not even Alex's brother.

"And why is that?" I ask curious.

"Well, you are Rory's brother, aren't you?" She asks and I nod -again- "And Rory is Alex's best friend, and, if you didn't know, I'm Alex's favourite girl, so, do the math."

What she says reminds me exactly at that moment of last week, in which Alex felt the need to clarify that he had no girlfriend, and I supposed that Megan knew that. It was not very difficult to realize what kind of relationship they had.

"Can I ask you a question?" The tone she uses in her voice does not go unnoticed, I look at her as if I could read her mind to know what she is thinking right now.

"This is the second time tonight that someone asks me that question, so yes, I guess," I answer and she laughs.

"Do you like him? Alex, I mean," I open my eyes wide, but she looks at me almost amused, which is chilling. What does she expect me to say?

"What?" is the only thing I can say, Megan lets out a little giggle.

"If you like him." Asks again "Look, I'm not dumb, I've been looking at you, my friends too." She starts to explain and I shake my head.

"I met Alex a week ago, I don't know what you are talking about." I answer with a frown. Her question seems out of place, since I haven't known her for more than twenty minutes, but she keeps smiling the same way.

"That didn't sound like a no."

"That sounded like an I met him a week ago, I don't know him."

"So the fact that you have been looking at him all night at all times is pure chance? I'm gonna tell you again, June, I'm not stupid." The hostile tone sneaks into his voice and she no longer looks at me in the same sweet way as she did when she introduced herself, on the contrary.

"I don't understand the point of this conversation." I interrupt her and she takes a step towards to me, trying to intimidate me, but it makes me laugh, and no because I'm nervous, laughter of actual amusement. How is it that she could feel threatened by me?

"The point of this conversation is that you should know your place, June. That's the point, I'm trying to be kind, it's almost my duty to inform you, stay in your lane" She is no longer nice, she is almost angry, irritated by me.

"Is that a threat, Megan? Are we still in high school?" I raise my hand and push her away, returning her to the same distance she was before.

"Take it as you like" she says ignoring my question "As long as it is clear to you"

She ends and stares at me, with an arrogant look, as if she expected me to leave so she can have the last word. I was never the type of girl who fights for boys, and although she seemed to be used to it, I wasn't going to start now.

"No, in fact it wasn't clear to me, Megan, tell me if I understand it;" I begin to say when she seems to be convinced that I won't contradict her at all. "you, who have a very close relationship with Alex, come to ask me, someone totally oblivious to that relationship, to know my place. What I believe, Megan, is that if he and you have such a relationship, both should know your place, not me. Alex and you."

Before she could answer something, even make a face, I surround her and leave the kitchen, feeling a little lost where to go. I didn't want to tell Rory that this girl, Megan, had irritated me and that I wanted to go, it was ridiculous. But I also didn't want to stay and have to put up with her looking at me all night as if she was about to kill me. Maybe it is a bit of a coward of me to run out of the situation, but it is not very smart to stay there either.

I approached Rory, trying to hide the bad face I had, the last thing I wanted was a scandal and look like a fool. So I leaned to where he was sitting and whispered in his ear that I felt bad, if he could take me home.

"Already?" He asks and at that moment I couldn't hide my bad face.

"Yes, already. I have girl problems." I lie, because it is the only way Rory would understand it, or not, but he wouldn't ask about it.

"Well," He says simply "Go for your jacket and I'll wait for you outside." He gets up from his seat and looks for his car keys in the pocket of his pants. I turn around and head to where I remembered Alex's room is. I go in and close the door behind me. There is a king size bed in the middle of the room and above them, lots of coats of every colors; It is going to take a second to find mine. On the two sides of the bed are two small drawers, with a lamp in each one of them.

I don't stop to observe the place much, the sooner I leave, the better. I walk to the bed and start to dig through all the black jackets I find, none is mine. I hear the door open and slam shut, I get scared, startling.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you" I hear Alex's voice, less altered than I had found him when I arrived. I nod, I don't even try to say that it's alright because it's not. "Are you already leaving?"

"Oh yeah. I think I was kicked out," I answer as I continue searching through the coats.

"What?" I hear him confused, I stop what I am doing to look at him. He frowns, waiting for me to answer.

"Your girlfriend" I answer with determination, I don't even know why I do it, I know she isn't, but I'm so upset that that's the only thing that comes out of my mouth. "She introduced herself, She said something like, nice to meet you, I hope to see you around but not really, you know, she even threatened me a little." the anger is noticeable in my voice and in the way I spit the words one after the other, that seems to take him out of balance.

"Megan?" It's all he says. I stir again between the coats.

"Oh yes, her." I say, and just in time I find my jacket among many others. I put it on and I face him "I didn't come here to be treated in such a way Alex, I shouldn't be dealing with girls like her just because you don't clear things up"

I head towards the door and he follows me with his gaze, unable to say anything about it, with worried eyes. He turns when I put my hand on the door handle.

"Thanks for the invitation, Alex. But I don't like being in places where I'm not really welcome," I say and then leave the room without giving him the opportunity to say anything.

[szopenhauer]

About my gf - survey

How did you meet?

I was going to school with one of her best friends, we went to a concert together, we lost contact for 10 years and this April we started to talk all over again 

How did they ask you to be their?

it’s a complicated/long story

Your first kiss.

I kinda blacked out (been on strong meds) and kissed her while we were sitting on a coach in her apartment, holding hands, I put my face in her hair and told her I love her then... I tried to leave the apartment asap, immediately, run! XD but she said I was good and today I wasn’t that good - lame of me I forgot how to do that 

Favorite gift they gave you.

she gave me her photo, a cat necklace and a stuffed unicorn that is our daughter - she called it Tęcza/Rainbow

Nicknames for one another.

I call her - sunshine/słońce, mom, cat/kot/kocik, kochanie and by her name of course

she calls me using various versions of my first name, skarbie/skarbek, daddy, tatuśku, top, beeb

*I’m also her natural contraception

What do you think of their family? What does his/her family think of you?

I think our dads are ok with us, her mom is dead now but she didn’t like me I guess? and my mom just found out - not sure what she’s thinking 

Inside joke?

many - I might list them sometime unless she wants to

Ten things you like about them.

she knows me so well like she looked into my soul or smth which is weird because she doesn’t know me that long and yet she understands me more than most of the people in my entire life ever did and she seem to accept me for who I am and even actually love me for my crappy self - both body and personality, I’m very ill and could hurt her - she still sticks with me through and through! she even written a story about me and didn’t forget me for ages and it feels like we actually didn’t skip those last 10 years but been there somewhere in each other’s lives because she’s like one of those old friends who were and are always there, you know? she remembers what I like and what I said, she always finds time for me, I just don’t know what she sees in me... 

her jokes, I love to laugh with her, time flies when I’m with her, makes me smile, she’s a lot of fun but not the kind of fun I prefer to avoid hahaha

apparently her touch, her touching me which is something new, a whole new experience because I don’t like to touch or be touched by anybody but I crave her somehow even tho I like my space/time alone, she was my first kiss, she doesn’t seem to bother me or tire me much, I think about her almost at all times (especially when I feel worse), she’s patient with me and I try to be the same towards her

similar opinions, some interests that we share

we complete each other, we’re not too different but not too identical, we’re just a pretty good match, we care for each other, worry about each other, help each other, support each other, she keeps me alive

we don’t argue, we talk, we explain, our primary love language is words of affirmation and I feel like I can open up to her, I can trust her with most things and I hope she can say the same thing about me ha! she’s being herself, she’s not pretending to be someone else, she’s bold, honest, imperfect which makes her more human/real and that makes me comfy to be around

those weird coincidences that happen often like signs that we should be together - I mean - maybe it’s not part of her but part of the universe but it's definitely ABOUT her

her hair

her butt

she’s cute XD

Your song. t.a.t.u. - All the things she said

How often do you see each other?

as for covid and her working and me being an introvert? often lol

What about her friends? What do they have to say about you?

ask THEM

Things you both have in common.

our parents have the same names (our fathers are from the same town), we were born the same year, we like 80s music, we have similar humor, we finish each other sentences/often have similar idea at the same time, we both lost a sibling and both have one older sibling that is still alive and we’re both black sheeps of our families lmfao, we both have health problems, we both had similar experiences when it comes to finding/accepting our sexual orientation

Biggest differences between you two.

she’s more an optimist while I’m a pessimist, she wears black clothes all the time tho and I am colorful and childish when it comes to my outfits, she hates yellow and green which are my fav colors, she’s a cat person and I’m a dog person, she’s an extravert and I’m an introvert, she works and I’m unemployed, she prefers boobs while I prefer butts, she’s tall and I’m short, she has long hair and I have short, she wears glasses and I don’t, she likes food I hate/am allergic to, she drinks and I don’t, she’s a musician and knows lots about technology

What you imagine your future with him/her to be. I’m fine with what we have now, we’ll see

A movie that is special to your relationship. some movies and shows remind me of her if that counts

What you two do together? mostly chat, joke, flirt, touch, walk around...

How long have you been together?

not long

Describe meeting his/her family. I thought her mom poisoned me so...

How well do I know her:

Their birthday - March *checks fb* 25th :x

Their astrological sign - Aries

Their middle name - they don’t have a middle name

The names of their parents - same as mine XD

The names of their sibling(s), if they have any - crap I forgot her brother’s name... ok now I checked, sorry lol

The names of their current pet(s), if they have any - *crickets, brain fog*

their name is Cat/Kot and I can’t believe I mixed it with cats of her grandma

*facepalm*

Their all-time favorite animated movie - I know she likes Minions and Shrek

The last TV show they binge-watched - some sort of anime for sure

Their biggest celebrity crush - no idea, I know she likes some korean guys but... she’s a lesbian so...

Their favorite swear word - chuj

Their go-to karaoke song - Evanescence - Bring me to life

[hello-justawriterofthings]

Together as A family ( Part 3 ) - Harry Styles

Hello Everyone, I'm here with Part 3 of The Tears of a Mother series. Back in the readers Point of View, I just want to say Thank You again for all the Love and Support on this series, it's been Amazing! I really Hope you enjoy <3<3 Warnings : Angst, Language, small bit of domestic abuse from previous relationship ( Not very detailed though ) and Fluff. [ Y/N = Your Name ]. Here we go..

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The man in front of me cleared his throat "Yeah, they're mine... Ours actually", I furrowed my brows in confusion as I looked over at my mom, who nodded sadly. Then I looked at the two boys that were apparently, but I couldn't remember anything about them. I then looked back at the man more confused than ever, "I'm sorry... I don't, I don't remember you or them" I stated with a sigh. 

I continued to stare at this man, who my mom had informed me was my boyfriend, but I had no memory of our relationship. I watched sadly as he broke down in tears and I couldn't do anything about it, because he was a stranger to me. "I'm really sorry" I sighed quickly getting up and walking towards my mom, I didn't really know what to do or how to react. "Wait. Can I come back and see you tomorrow? I know it's strange, but I'd like to still see you" the man stated quickly as he wiped his face, I thought for a moment before nodding. "I'll take Y/N back to her room and I'll be back Harry" my mom stated, guiding me back towards the hospital room and leaving me with Mila. "What's with the long face?" Mila asked as I sat down on the bed, " I have kids?" I muttered. Mila looked at me confused "Yeah, two boys. Why?", "I can't remember them, I can't remember anything. Like, how and when did we end up in London?" I exclaimed. Mila sighed deeply "What's the last thing you remember, I thought hard "Jamie... We were celebrating your promotion at your favorite club in LA, Jamie and I were fighting, he stormed off and I found him later that night in the bathroom with two girls.  That's all I remember. Wait, You were dating that douche Carter at the time". Mila chuckled slightly at the comment about her EX, but then sighed like something was troubling her. "What's up?" I asked looking at her suspicious, "I probably shouldn't tell you the full story of that night" she stated again with a sigh. I furrowed my brows "You'd better tell me, I thought we didn't keep secrets", "Fine, but if your mom gets mad at me for this, I'm blaming it on you" she stated while rolling her eyes. I just continued looking at her curiously, "What happened with Jamie, that was 9 years ago. After you found him with those other girls, you had finally had enough and dumped his sorry ass. He didn't take it well, ended up beating you up, bad and left you in the back hallway of the club. You were unconscious and ended up in the hospital after I found you. You met Harry three days after you got out of the hospital, in that small bakery you used love. You ran into him, spilling your coffee and knocking him over. And what you told me back then was that there was an instant connection, you gave him your phone number. Then the two of you started out with just a friendship, but obviously things ended up going further. You moved to London after dating Harry for just a year and I followed because, I thought you were making a stupid mistake because I wasn't going to let my best friend move to another country and then end up breaking up with this dude you only knew for a year. I was proven wrong and your decision wasn't a mistake, but I enjoyed living here, so I stayed. Harry ended up being the best thing that's ever happened to you, I could just tell how happy you were" she stated with a sigh. I looked down, quickly losing control of all my emotions. "I can't believe I was with this man for almost 9 years and I can't remember any part of our relationship! I have two beautiful boys, that I don't remember having. What kind of mother am I?" I sobbed, Mila stood up and rushed towards me, hugging me tight. "It's okay" she spoke quietly, "Nothing about this is okay! I'm a horrible mom snd girlfriend, who can't remember her family" I yelled still sobbing, just as my mom walked back into the door. "Honey, please calm down" she stated sternly as she took Milas spot next to me, "But, mom..." I started, only to be interrupted. "No, none of this is your fault. I know it's a lot to take in, finding out you're a mom suddenly, but you're not a horrible mom. You were in an accident, things are cloudy in that brain of yours, but please don't let this thing bring you down". Mom stated hugging me tight, I nodded as I continued to cry. After a few moments of silence, well other than my loud sobbing, I let out a deep sigh. "I think you need sometime to take in all this and rest" My mom stated with a smile, I nodded "Yeah, a nap sounds good right now" I sighed laying down. My mom and Mila both smiled, understanding fully. "Okay, we'll go grab lunch" Mila stated with a smile, "Call me if you need anything" My mom said kissing me on the forehead. I sent them both a semi soft smile, but after they left, I couldn't fall asleep. All I could do was think about those two little boys and their handsome father, who I wish I could so deeply remember.

I stayed in the hospital for another week, still trying to recover from a few injures I had. Mostly scraps, a few cuts and multiple bruises. On a sunny Tuesday afternoon, I was awoken by Dr. Stevens. "Good Morning Y/N" he smiled, "Morning" I sighed as I sat up. After doing his usual checkup, he smiled once again "Well, I think you look good. Everything seems to be healing nicely, so I think it's time to get you out of here". I smiled, but then looked at my mom confused. "Where would I go though?" I asked, "I've talked to your mom and I think it would be good for you to go home with Harry and your boys, it might help with the foggy memory" Dr. Stevens stated. I thought to myself about it, Harry had come to visit with the boys and even though it was a little awkward between us. Things were going good with the boys, it must've been that motherly instinct somewhere in me. "Don't worry, I'm staying in London until we know if you're going to regain your memory. Hell, I might just move here" my mom stated seriously, making me look at her shocked. "I do most of my work online and there's nothing really keeping me in the US, your brother is in Australia and you need me now" she smiled, I nodded happily, I'd love for my mom to live closer to me. I then realized that maybe going home with Harry was a good idea, clearly I could trust him because our relationship was obviously real and my mom loved him. But, being in the house, where I was raising my children with my boyfriend, was going to be hard. But maybe being there would help regain some of my memories, or would it only made things worse. 

Later that day, I had gotten changed out of that horrible hospital gown  and into something comfy. ( Authors note: If you've never worn one, trust me, as someone who basically grew up in and out of hospitals, they're horrible and I hate them. Okay back to the story ). Someone knocked softly on the door, causing me to sigh and look that way. "Hey" Harry stated wearing a small smile, I nodded awkwardly back. Things were weird, like I felt he was to attractive for me, Like how did I end up with this Gorgeous man! "You ready to get going?" he asked, making me awkwardly nod again. Harry grabbed the small bag I had and slung it over his shoulder, before helping me out the door. I technically didn't need his help, but the support was nice. I waved to all the nurses as we made our way towards the elevator. Once we got outside, there were many people gathered around. Most of them had camera's and were screaming Harry's name. He rushed me into the large black vehicle, getting in after helping me. "Are you okay?" he asked breathing heavily, I nodded "What was that? Why were their so many people waiting for you?". Harry sighed deeply, but didn't answer. So I didn't push the subject, I'd just find out on my own. We drove in silence for a while, neither knowing what to say. "So... What should I know about you? Anything special?" I asked awkwardly, quickly wishing I hadn't said anything at all. He sighed as he drove, "I'm a musician" he stated quick. I nodded, that must've been why they're were so many people trying to get his attention. Things went quiet again as we pulled up to a large home. I gasped quietly at the beautiful sight "This is where you live?", he sighed "This is where we live". "Right" I muttered as I limed out of  the car, I get that this was hard, but he wasn't the only one going through it, so he could've been a bit nicer with how he handled this situation. He grabbed my bag out of the back of the vehicle and walked with me inside, where we were met by not only my mom and Mila, but Harry's Mom and sister as well. I was introduced to both Anne and Gemma when they came with Harry to visit me in the hospital, both were sweethearts and I would love to get to know them again. "Welcome Home" they all shouted, Mila being the loudest because she had the biggest mouth. I smiled widely, feeling the love. Mason jumped up off the couch and ran towards me, Ethan was in my moms arms with a extra large smile on his face as he reached out for me. I smiled even more as I embraced Mason as he collided with me and after hugging him tightly, I took Ethan from my mom, hugging him to. "Mommy, I drew this picture for you!" Mason shouted loudly as he ran towards the coffee table and grabbed the paper, "Mommy, cookies!" Ethan demanded which made me laugh, "Don't tell me, I still make grandma's cookie recipe all the time" I asked with an eyebrow raised. "Yes, and we all love them" Gemma smiled, "Daddy does to" Mason smiled. I nodded standing up and sighed, "Let's get mom settled and maybe she can make some of her famous cookies tomorrow, if she's feeling up to it" Harry stated blandly. I bit my lip nervously, following Harry upstairs. "I figured since you don't remember who I am, you wouldn't want to sleep with me in the master bedroom, so I've changed the sheets in the guest room" he stated making me nod awkwardly, "You have lots of privacy, the bathrooms through that door. Ethan's room is right next door and Mason's is two doors down and the master is at the end of the hallway, that's where you're clothes are... Well, I'll let you get settled and meet you back downstairs" he sighed quickly leaving the room without another word. 'Why do I feel like this relationship was already over between Harry and I?" I thought to myself as I looked around the room. Baby pictures of Ethan and Mason lined one of the walls, causing me to smile. A framed photo of Harry and I in front of the Eiffel tower was sitting on the nightstand, I picked it up and read the small message on the back. 'First anniversary, many more to come'. Well damn, only dating a year and we were celebrating it in Paris. I sighed to myself, putting the photo back where it belonged. I then left the room and mad my way back downstairs. That's when I heard talking, "Harry, what's wrong with you?" Anne asked her son sternly, "Yeah, your making a fabulous impression on your girlfriend, that has amnesia" Gemma stated sarcastically."Gem" Anne warned, "I'm sorry! This is hard for me you know. Living in the same house with someone you love, but is also like a stranger to you now. How else am I supposed to act, it's awkward!" Harry exclaimed loudly. "You think this is hard on you? Try being Y/N right now, waking up without a clue that your a mom. But, at least she's trying! She didn't have to come home with you, she could've just moved in with Mila and only spent time with her boys, leaving you out of this. SO, please Harry, don't act like your the victim" Gemma spat, "I know! Okay, I know... Things could've turned out a lot different and I should just be happy that she's alive, but this is still hard" Harry then sighed deeply. "Just be kind to her Harry, give her time to take everything in. She'll open up and maybe you can bring her back" Anne stated, but Harry didn't respond, I hoped he nodded in agreement. I sighed again as I made my way into the living room, I sent the three of them soft smiles. Noticing that Mila, my mom and the boys weren't in the room any longer, but could her Ethans laughter from the kitchen. "Hey um, do you want to get something to eat? Take out?" Harry asked lightly while wearing a smile, I nodded with a small smirk "Pizza". Harry chuckled quietly "Of course", I looked at him confused and he picked up on it. "Anytime I offer getting take out for dinner, you always choose Pizza" He smiled dialing the number on his phone, I smiled back while relaxing on the sofa next to Anne. Somethings never change, not even my love for pizza.

2 weeks had gone by and things were slowly coming back, I had been remembering more things about the boys. Mason was the artist, at only 4 he already knew what he wanted to do for the rest of his life. I remember on his 4th birthday, Harry and I bought him a mini easel, the most paint he could ever need, loads of paper, new crayons and many more art supplies. He didn't use the easel though, claimed it was to tall for him right now, so he just stuck to crayons for now. I remember that night when I tucked him into bed that night, he told me he wanted to be the next Pistachio, which made me laugh. I knew he meant Picasso, but then again he was 4. i remembered how Ethan wanted to take after both Harry and I, if he wasn't in the kitchen with me while I was baking, he was with Harry, pounding on the piano in the office. I remembered when Ethan went to preschool for the first time, he was terrified at first, but later when I picked him up, he was full of smiles and didn't want to leave, telling me how many friends he had made. I remembered both days I gave birth to those precious little boys, Mason was first and surprisingly easy for it being the first baby I'd had. Harry and I had been so sleep deprived because of the last week of my constant back pain and moaning, he ended up falling asleep halfway though, but woke up the moment I threw something at him. Ethan however, was a hard birth, because he was a breech baby.  And because I wasn't pushing him out fast enough and I started having breathing issues, the doctors decided to preform a C - section to get him out. He was a healthy, large baby boy. So, for that I was thankful. I also remembered months after Ethan was born, I felt insecure about my body and the large scar on my abdomen. ( Authors note: Scars are beautiful, so if you have one, embrace it. Trust, I have two Large scars, one running down my chest. So if you have one, know I'm with you ). I wore large shirts or dresses, never really showed my body anymore. At the time, I remembered how Harry had made me feel gorgeous, but that's about all I remembered about Harry.  The few other things were when we did things as a family, but I couldn't remember anything about our relationship before Mason and Ethan. I was still trying my best to remember the love between us, that's all that mattered, Right?

Ethan's second birthday was upon us, which meant were we throwing a party for him. His school friends, Harry's friends and family,, along with Mila and my mom. Anne and Harry decided to take both of the boys to the zoo before Ethan's birthday, I decided to stay home and work on some baking. It was time to get back to normal around here, I was a baker. Instead of asking Harry were all my baking supplies where, I tried to trigger my memory of where everything was. "Okay... Cake tin, cake tin... Y/n, where is the cake tin?" I asked myself while looking around, I then closed my eyes and thought hard. I opened my eyes, letting out a deep sigh while walking over to the cabinet closest to the refrigerator, op shelf. There sat a pile of different cake tins, I smiled widely "Yes!". The rest of the day went on quietly, just e baking alone, but it was peaceful. By 5pm, the front door opened and laughter filled the house. "Mommy, come see what Nana bought us!" Mason shouted, making me chuckle from the kitchen. "I thought it was Ethan's birthday tomorrow, not yours" I smiled as I bent down to place a kiss on their heads, "Well it is, but  he gets two presents and I get three because I'm older" Mason then giggled. Making the room explode in laughter. "Did you get a lot done?" Harry asked curiously, wondering if  I remembered where everything was. "Yeah loads, cookies, cupcakes and even macaroons. I knew where all the supplies where" I stated with a proud smile, "Oh that's wonderful Y/N!" Anne stated wearing a large smile. I nodded letting out a sigh, Harry had taken Mason upstairs to go potty. I sat down on the couch next to Anne and Ethan, who was close to falling asleep. Anne and I spoke for a few moments before she had to leave, I gave her a tight hug before standing up and sighing. I think it's time for dinner, my sweets" I smiled picking Ethan up, carrying him into the kitchen "Did you have a good day with Nana and Dad?". Ethan nodded, placing his head on my shoulder. I smiled widely as I placed him into his high chair, before fetching his dinner.  Tomorrow was going to be even more exciting, I still couldn't believe I was a mom. I was so lucky to have those two little boys in my life, I just wish I could remember more of their lives. But, things were looking up, hopefully soon I'd be back to normal and I hoped Ethan's birthday would go down without any problems. 

The morning started off early, waking up to make Ethan's favorite Micky Mouse pancakes with Harry. The party started at 1, plenty of time to get everything situated, or so I thought. Harry had to make a run to the store, because Ethan couldn't make up his mind on what the theme for the party was and woke up this morning wanting a Mickey Mouse party. I had learned though that a simple run to the store took longer for Harry, needing someone with him because he was Harry Styles. He also had to pick up the cake, I might have been a baker, but I was no professional cake maker. I was busy tidying up the house, making Mickey Mouse cookies and getting both boys, plus myself ready. Harry made it home just as guests started to arrive, they were showing up fast and early, but I wasn't even dressed yet. So, once Gemma showed up, I left the boys with her and ran upstairs to change. I looked out the window seeing Ethan and Mason running around with their friends, I couldn't wipe the smile off from my face. I changed quickly before making my way downstairs, walking past the office, hearing voices coming from the room. And at first I paid no mind, until someone said my name. "Harry, how's things going with Y/N?" I heard someone ask, but the voice was unfamiliar to me. "Yeah mate, has she made anymore process?" Now that voice I knew, Niall. I had met him a few times after getting out of the hospital. Harry sighed deeply "She only has remembered things about the boys, nothing about me and I'm honestly done with it", "What do you mean?" Niall questioned curiously. "I mean, clearly her memory for me isn't going to return and even if it does, things between us will Never be the same. The tension in this house is just driving me insane and it's draining everything from me, I can't write or come up with idea's for songs. Waking up in the morning, wondering if the girl you care for will remember you and then being disappointed when she doesn't. I've had enough of this" Harry stated seriously, I didn't know he felt that way. I knew this was hard for him, but I thought we were getting past the awkwardness and tension, maybe it was only me thinking that. "I just think it would be best if she went and lived somewhere else, I don't care where it is. I'm tired of this and I think it's time for the both of us, to move on" Harry then stated with a sigh, "So, you want to move on from the mother of your children, the woman you claim to love. You're insane!" Niall then shouted. "Yeah, well maybe I am. This might all just be a sign that the good between us is over and weren't meant to be together anymore" Harry responded, making Niall scoff, but I stopped listening after that. I walked towards the bathroom, breathing deeply. "Why am I living here? Clearly he thinks I'm never going to remember our relationship and even if I do, he doesn't think we'd be the same? What kind of bullshit is that?" I whispered to myself leaning up against the door, but maybe he was right. Maybe, it was time for me to live somewhere different, I would still spend a lot of time with those boys, but maybe getting away from Harry was a good thing. I wiped my face off with cold water before leaving the bathroom and then walked out back, I silently made my way towards Mila, trying not to bring any attention on myself. Rapid thoughts shot through my head, like why he had to be talking about this on our sons birthday, Why couldn't he have just told me before spreading it to all his friends, I know how to take a hint and if he wanted me to leave, I would've left.  "What's wrong?" Mila asks, noticing the puzzled look on my face. I sighed deeply "Are you still looking for a roommate?", she furrowed her brows and nodded. I'd explain everything to her later, now I just wanted to enjoy Ethan on his birthday. 

Three days later, I had secretly packed two large suitcases and had them sitting by the front door. I had already explained everything to Mila, my mom, Gemma and Anne. They all understood, but now it was time to speak to Harry about everything. "Hey... What's going on? What's with the suitcases, are you going somewhere?" he asked as he walked out of the kitchen, I sighed deeply while nodding slightly, "I'm going to stay at Mila's for a while" I stated.  Harry looked at me confused "What do you mean Y/N? Why are you going to stay at Mila's". "Harry face it, this thing that we've got going on, isn't working" I stated serious, making him look even more confused "I don't understand". "Harry, please drop the confused act. I heard you tell your friends that you don't want me here anymore, that you can't stand the tension in the house anymore. So, I'm leaving. I still want to see Ethan and Mason everyday if I can, I want to spend time with them. But with the memory loss, I think it's just best if I left, it'll be better for the four of us" I stated, but he just continued to look confused. "Listen, I get that this is hard. You living with someone who is basically a stranger to you now, you feel like you're walking on eggshells around me, there's a tension between us and we both don't need to be around it. I'm still trying to remember things and maybe it'll be better if I do that, away from this house" I then stated sincerely, Harry nodded "I hope you realize that I didn't mean anything the other day, I'm just under a lot of stress and said things I didn't mean. And I understand, I can't say I'm happy about this decision. I was hoping to help you with everything, but I think it'll help us if we're living apart. I'll bring the boys over whenever you want to see them, I want Ethan and Mason to spend time with you. They love you so much". I sent him a smile as I heard Mila honk outside, "Well, um. That's Mila, I guess I'll see you soon" I stated awkwardly. He nodded giving me a slightly tense hug, this would be better for the both of us in the end, because how things were going, weren't working for us.  

I'd now been staying with Mila for a little over a week, I felt happier, I felt free. Harry had let the boys stay over for a few nights, since Mila's house was big, Ethan and Mason loved it here because of her three dogs. Plus I wanted to spend time with and I could tell, Harry  my brows a break. I woke up on Wednesday morning feeling refreshed, I was the first one up and instead of waking the boys up, i decided it was finally time to unpack the rest of my suitcases. I was planning to be here for a while, so. While unpacking the second bag, I stumbled upon what seemed to be a ring box. I furrowed in confusion, had I packed this on accident? I didn't remember packing any jewelry, mainly this. I picked it up and opened it, looking at the ring inside. As soon as I laid my eyes on the ring inside, memories came flooding back. I remembered everything, the relationship between Harry and I. Everything about Mason and Ethan, the horrible words Harry yelled at me the night of the fight, when I stormed out of the house and got into the car accident. I looked at the ring again, not it wasn't the engagement ring. But, the promise ring Harry gave me on our one year anniversary in Paris. It was my favorite piece of jewelry and the one I held most special.  The emotions came rushing out, making me sob loudly. So loud, that Mila came rushing into the room, looking panicked. "What's wrong? Are you hurt? Did something happen?" she asked fast, I shook my head "I'm fine, I'm fine. I just, I remember everything". She looked at me with furrowed brows, "Everything, you remember EVERYTHING?" she questioned.. I nodded still crying, but I had calmed down significantly. "That was quick!" Mila stated honestly, making me chuckle quietly "I remember it all, my life with Harry, the boys and the accident. Everything".She hugged me tightly "I can't believe this Y/N! Are you going to call harry and tell him", I shook my head no. "He said some horrible things before the accident and I don't think he deserves it. He's just made so many mistakes and I don't know if I can forgive hi right now, I just want to focus on the boys. Harry will find out eventually, but I'm not going out of my way to call him" I stated honestly, Mila nodded and I knew she understood. I was happy that I was back to my old self, but I was also determined. The relationship between Harry and I had to change and if it didn't, it was over. As for right now, I needed time, space and a drink.

Two days later. The boys had returned to Harry and I had been out looking for different jobs, hopefully I'd land one in a  bakery. Mila was at work and I had been in the kitchen making cookies, when the doorbell started to ring violently. I sighed wiping my hands off on my apron, making y way towards the front door. "Harry?" I asked looking confused as I opened the door, "Hey... I just wanted to come and see you. I had this whole speech planned, but I'm at loss for words now" he stated nervously. I smirked slightly, "I just wanted to see how you were, wow you look good" he then sighed deeply. I smiled "Come in Harry", he nodded following me in. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry, for the way I've acted since you got out of the hospital. I didn't mean anything I said on Ethan's birthday, I was discouraged about something else and blamed my frustrations on you.I don't care if your memory ever comes back, we can create new memories together. I want to fight for you, for this relationship, I'm not ready to let you go this easy"  he stated sternly, but also still nervously. "Harry, my memory did come back" I stated simply, making him look at me shocked "Everything?". I nodded, making him pull me into a tight hug "That's wonderful". I sighed deeply "Harry, I get that your excited, but things aren't normal between us right now. Before the memory loss, you hurt me. We aren't just going to rush back into things, we can't go back to normal", he sighed stepping away from me "I know, but I was hoping we could things out and get back together". "I'm willing to work things out with you, but I don't think we need to be together right now" I stated, he looked down for a few moments, looking like he wanted to object. "That doesn't mean we won't ever be together again, I just think we need time to work on ourselves and co parents as friends" I smiled slightly, he stayed quiet for a few moments but then sent me a small smile "I understand and I agree, as long as I have you in my life, I'll take whatever I can get". I smiled while giving him a quick hug "We have kids Harry, you're basically stuck with me until they''re 18", he chuckled quietly. I hoped things would get better in the future. Maybe we'd be together, maybe not. The boys were our first priority, they come first before this relationship.  There was a lot that needed to be worked on, Together as a Family.

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Hey guys, sorry that this ending was horrible. Honestly, it sucked. Like I've said before, the antidepressants, it feels like all my idea's have flown the coop. I also rushed this as well, because I'm going out of town and I wanted to get if finished before then. Hopefully someone enjoyed it though. Thank You all so much for Reading, You're all Amazing! Lot's of Love, Katie <3<3