#come on bright you know the pain of arid environments more than anyone here

[journeytojaburo]

The argama's descent to earth seemed a lot more planned than some other times so why were they sent out so unprepared 😭

[catboysimulator]

Story Five - Swirling Sand and Lightning Strikes

The day seemed like any regular down in the Sagolii desert, Azeyma beating down on the arid environment while the people tried to remain cool during the weather. Most of the miqo'te were within their adobe homes, trying to keep cool while others still continued to work anyway, making sure to keep hydrated as they did so. 

Dhezi was up on the roof of one of the buildings, fixing the hatching and doing some repairs on the adobe, Tani lending him a hand by passing him clay and straw, and also making sure the ladder was nice and sturdy against the building. "Ugh, thanks, primo. I owe ya some drinks, y'know? Y'really have no idea how grateful I am to ya fer offerin' ta get up there, b'cause I sure as hells can't stomach it," Tani groaned while Dhezi merely chuckled with a grin. "S'no problem at all," he assured.

Though, as they were working, they then heard a loud rumble resound through the caves. Tani stood straight as his ears perked and pivoted, listening out for further sounds before sounding out a call of alarm that rang throughout their home. Dhezi blinked and looked around, watching as everyone ran away from their work and the springs, back into their home. "-- What's goin' on? Tani?" he asked, while Tani held onto the bottom of the ladder. "Come down, primo, there's a sandstorm comin'. I'm gonna need yer help coverin' up Azeyma's watch with Maryn," she states. Dhezi wasted no time in climbing back down, rushing over to meet with the Amarila leader. 

"Papa!" Tani called out, "sandstorm comin' in, 'nd I think it's bringin' along some relampago." Approaching Maryn, the yellow-eyed Seeker nodded towards Tani. "I heard the alarm. I will cover the Watch and call in the Matron and Patron. Tani, make sure everyone else here is safe," he advises, before calling out for more assistance. A few other miqo'te came out of their homes to join Maryn, following closely behind him. 

Though, before Maryn could leave, he gazed at Dhezi for just a moment before nodding to him. "You seem like you’re pretty capable, Dhezi. Come with me, we could use your help to pull through this."

"A-ah? Yes, tio," Dhezi agreed with a nod, also following along. 

Heading outside the caves, the group then scaled the side of the mountains up to the very top, where a large slab of rock bigger than the Watch remained. "Dhezi, help the others cover the Watch, I will call for the griffins," Maryn stated, curling his hands together and bringing them up to his mouth, releasing a unique sound that carried through the desert. 

Dhezi watched briefly, before moving over towards the group to begin pushing the slab over the Watch. Previously, this took a lot of effort even with many people, but with Dhezi's strength alone they were able to quickly cover it up and make their way back down and into the caves, way ahead of the storm.

The red Seeker remained atop with his uncle, though, standing beside him as Maryn continued to call for the griffins. He frowned, furrowing his brows as his tail flicked at the tip. "They aren't answering. The storm is fast approaching... They are intelligent creatures, so they should know to take cover either way, yet this has never happened before. Dhezi, you should go back down and take cover with the others."

"-- Tio, I don't feel comfortable leavin' ya up here alone. Please-- let me stay with ya until they get here."

"You must listen to me, Dhezi, this is a dangerous situation. Go back down, I'll be alright,” he reassured his nephew with a smile.

"I--... Okay," Dhezi resigns, gulping with a nod before shifting to start climbing down. Yet, before he can do so, he hears the familiar sound of lightning. Relampago. That's what they meant. He froze up, that familiar sensation of fear clamping down on him like a maw of sharpened teeth, a sensation of dread pounding over him like turbulent waves. 

Maryn noticed this, furrowing his brows as he called out, "Dhezi! Dhezi, what's wrong? Get down there!"

Heaving, Dhezi lifted his eyes towards the approaching sandstorm, noting the bright flashes within the gritty gales. Lightning-- lightning can happen in sandstorms?! Why was he never informed?!

The sand was fast approaching now, and Maryn stopped in his calls in order to rush over to Dhezi, casting his magics in order to form a shield to block them from the storm as he knelt beside his nephew. "Dhezi, hey, what's the matter?! Take a deep breath; breathe!"

Dhezi gulped down a lump in his throat, his shoulders quaking as his paws tightly ball up into fists, his claws digging into his pads. "T-Tio-- Tio, I'm s'rry, I c-can't-- I can't move," he stammers out, squeezing his eyes shut. Maryn draped an arm over Dhezi's shoulders, rubbing at them gently while furrowing his brows, looking up to see if he can try to spot the griffins. The sand pounded against his shield and he grunted, covering his nephew and taking the brunt of the storm.

Lightning struck closer and closer to them the further the storm moved towards them, Dhezi covering his ears each time and bunching himself up further. Why? Why does this keep happening? He thought he had moved on, but no matter what he does, the lightning always holds the upper hand. Tears burned down his face as he grit his teeth, mentally cursing himself out for seizing up, for being unable to listen and do as told, for being an incompetent coward.

Yet, in the back of his mind, he remembered the Sigwa. Remembered K'ilhi and Poki'to. 

Azhi'sae.

Forcing himself, he stands up on shaking legs, brows furrowed and tears hot as they pour down his neck from his eyes. Maryn followed suit and stood with him, keeping the shield up despite the force of the storm. The hairs on the backs of their necks and on their arms stood on end, very much aware that if they do not move they will be struck, and may not survive.

"Move," Dhezi advises; warns. Maryn furrows his brows and looks towards Dhezi in concern and frustration. "Dhezi--," he begins, his voice sterner, before the red Seeker repeats, "Move."

Taking a deep breath, G'dhezi attempted to still himself; calm his heart. He has one chance to do this, or else he dies. He's very much aware of it.

He recalls that night in The Peaks with Toadie. Toadie kept him safe; protected him from a lightning shot by redirecting it northward. Dhezi has never trained on this, never attempted... but he resigned himself. Whether he lives out of pure luck or dies out of pure stupidity, he's fine with it.

But will everyone else be? 

That thought crossed his mind at the very last second-- right when lightning struck the paw he had stretched out to the skies. He cried out in pain, dragging his other paw down his chest to his stomach, before stretching it out southward, redirecting the bolt of plasma away from his uncle. 

Panting heavily, the red Seeker did not remain conscious for long, falling off the side of the mountain as he heard his uncle's cry of his name, not long feeling the sensation of feathers and a strong back before he had blacked out.

-------------------------

Slowly his eyes fluttered open, staring up at the ceiling of the caves, where the slab had covered Azeyma's Watch. The caverns were lit by lanterns and torches, yet they were spots of light in Dhezi's eyes. He felt warm, comfortable, as though surrounded by pillows and blankets.

It turned out, Rahja has curled up around Dhezi, along with her children. Her head rested off to the side while the fledgelings kept Dhezi supported up against her, resting near and against his legs. Rahja lifted her head the moment she could tell a difference in Dhezi's breathing, turning it in order to look at him. "-- Rahja?" he asked, yet his tone was pained and hoarse. 

She crooned towards him, pressing her forehead to his while her fledgelings also woke up to look up at the miqo'te worriedly. Not long after, Dhezi heard the familiar voices of his family rushing closer, Sena soon within his sight along with Tani and Maryn. "Dhezi!" Sena called out, tone full of concern and fear. "Mijo, mijo, estas bien? Are you alright? Can you hear me?"

Dhezi took a moment, but he gave a small nod. In response, a heavy sigh escaped Sena along with Tani and Maryn, yet Tani's brows were furrowed tight and her teeth grit. "Dhezi-- I ain't ever met anyone so foolish as ta do somethin' like that--! Don't ya understand how TERRIFIED we all were for you?! Ye're LUCKY ye're even alive!" he yelled, before the breath in his chest all but collapsed out of him. He shifted close to his cousin, kneeling close to him and reaching a paw out to place it atop Dhezi's head.

"Y'can't-- y'cant do that to us, Dhezi. Ta us, or ta th'people waitin' fer ya back in Ul'dah. I'm glad ye're alright, but ya can't risk throwin' yer life away like that," she states, firmly, through a trembling voice. "It is important; precious. It cannot be replaced. Do ya understand?"

Dhezi stares up at them in silence, before gulping the lump down his throat and nodding. This is not the first time he had been yelled at for nearly throwing away his life so easily-- yet this is the first time he has come to regret dancing with Nald'thal so intimately. "... Sorry. 'm sorry," he murmurs through his broken voice. 

Tani huffs lightly, nodding and blinking away their tears. "... Try not to move around too much, primo. Ye're all bandaged up. They said s'gonna take a few sennights fer ya ta recover. They're gonna take care of ya," he mutters. Dhezi blinked, yet nodded nonetheless.

-------------------------

CW: Discussions of death, suicide, suicidal ideation.

The first day Dhezi had been tended to, he had seen his wounds, his bruises. His body had the nastiest bruising he has ever developed; yellowed, purpled, and blackened skin mottled along his brown. It was the worst ever, but the medics assured him it would not last. They were bruises, not scars...except for one part. Fractal scarring bloomed along his skin, little patterns of lightning lining his neck, shoulders, chest, and arms.

It was beautiful, really, despite the bruising along the rest of his body.

Only after a few suns had passed and Dhezi was able to move a bit more without his body screaming at him, Maryn dropped by to visit him. The medics that were tending to Dhezi finished their work for the hour, excusing themselves and leaving Maryn and his nephew in private.

Dhezi's ears lowered as his uncle pulled up a chair and sat beside him, gazing at him so seriously. He normally sees his uncle smiling and laughing, fooling around with everyone in his vicinity and being playful-- but now he looked gravely serious, and it scared the younger Seeker just a bit.

"... Si, tio?" he asked meekly, his ears flattened to the sides as his eyes continued to flicker back and forth from Maryn to anything else in the room.

"Dhezi," Maryn began, taking in a deep breath before leveling his expression with the younger one. "You understand that what you did was dangerous, and even potentially fatal, correct?"

"Yes, I'm aware."

"What made you even attempt that?"

"I--... I knew we were 'bout ta get hit, so I wanted t'try 'nd protect ya..."

"Yet, you know I would have been able to protect us, right?"

"... Aye."

"So then, why?"

Dhezi fell silent at that, frowning as he gazes up towards the ceiling. "... Selfish reasons. Stupid reasons. I--," he paused, sighing out and bringing a paw up to his forehead, rubbing at it from frustration. "When I was a kid, I was raised in Ul'dah as y'all know. I was taken in by Mama Azhi when I was only a few moons old, 'nd she gave me th'name Azhi'li. But, th'same day, another kid showed up. A few years older than me, also without a name. She named him Azhi'sae, 'nd he was m'brother.

He 'nd I were two peas in a pod, y'know? He always got me outta trouble, always shared his food with me 'nd played with me. We even slept in th'same bed t'gether even until he turned eleven summers. Yet, on that eleventh summer, I saw somethin' I shouldn't have. There was a black mage outside th'gates a'Ul'dah, 'nd I saw 'em do things I know they weren't s'pposed ta, but they noticed me. I tried runnin' away, but I was caught, 'nd they were plannin' t'kill me. Seared m'side with fire, which is why I have th'scars there... Yet, b'fore they killed me, Zisi came 'round 'nd lopped off th'mage's arm with a sword he grabbed from a Brass Blade, grabbin' me by th'arm 'nd makin' a run fer it.

... We didn't make it far. He didn't make it far. Th'mage was aimin' fer me, but... Zisi shoved me outta th'way 'nd took a bolt a'lightnin' straight through his chest," Dhezi explained, taking in deep breaths here and there and swallowing lumps down in his throat.

"Ever since then I've been so scared of anythin' that sounds remotely like lightnin', 'nd whenever there's a storm or someone uses those magicks, I freeze up. I've been tryna get better, yet it's hard. Toadie told me there's no way fer me ta jus'...magically stop, it just takes time, but I've been so desperate to try 'nd get over it that I've been puttin' m'self in stupid situations that risk m'self gettin' killed. Fer th'longest time, I did not give a damn 'bout whether I died or if I lived. I actively sought t'jus' end it all after that happened with Zisi, but I stopped b'cause Mama Azhi told me to. I didn't wanna see her distressed th'way she had been, so I listened. 

Yet, that didn't stop m'apathy. If there was a situation I was in that risked m'life, I didn't care. Until recently. I've been told constantly by so many folks that care 'bout me t'stop bein' so reckless, 'nd I didn't listen. I understood that I hurt people that care 'bout me by bein' like that, 'nd I still didn't listen.

But right b'fore that lightning bolt hit, I realized jus' how ridiculous 'nd selfish I've been. Foolish; childish," Dhezi croaked out, draping his arm across his eyes as he grit his teeth.

"... Fuck, man." He sobbed, choking on his tears as he bit the insides of his cheeks, his claws digging into the pads of his paws and drawing blood.

Maryn moved a gentle hand to Dhezi's paw, prying his claws out of his paws and taking a firm yet comforting grip on his paw. 

"Dhezi... Be proud of yourself, for recognizing these issues. For being self-aware, and understanding the pains you have put not only others through, but yourself. You are not alone, mijo, you never were alone and never will be, even when there is no one around. Do not harm yourself, or beat yourself up... Be gentle with yourself, as there is only one of you. These pains of yours do not need to be handled on your own. You have your family with you, those that remain and those who have departed," Maryn states, his tone gentle and patient.

"I thank you for protecting me, but do not throw your life away so easily. It is precious, and one-of-a-kind. This sense of redemption must be released, Dhezi, for there is nothing left to redeem. You understand that too, right?"

"... Aye," the younger Seeker agrees with a nod, frowning, yet still curled his fingers lightly around his uncle's hand. 

“If you’d like, I can teach you some stuff with lightning. Because while that was a very… terrifying, incident, I can see that you do have potential with it. Have you been told that before?”

“A-ah… Haha, aye… Sure have been.”

“Hm. Would you like to try practicing, then? We will begin with small steps, and go slowly.”

“... I think I’d like that, yeah.”

Maryn gave a gentle smile down towards Dhezi, nodding. “When you are healed, then.” He went silent after a few moments, before speaking once more, "You know, mijo... We have a celebration coming up, called Dancing with the Dead."

"-- Uh? Wh-. Why is it called that?"

The older Seeker couldn't help but to laugh, grinning wider while lowering his nephew's hand from his face. "Every year during the Fifth Astral Moon is when we dance with our departed. We feast and we drink, remembering those who have moved on to greater plains, while they come to visit us from the lifestream to join us in our festivities."

"... They join us?"

"Right. We cannot see them, but we feel them. They are always around us, always there to look over us and keep us company, but we do not always feel their presence. During this celebration, we can feel them stirring our hearts; their warmth and their love. It is a reminder for us that we will never be alone, even when we have come and gone. Perhaps then, you may get the closure you have always been hoping for."

"I see... Thank you, tio."

"Of course, sobrino. Now, get some rest, you're looking worse than a bruised banana."

At that, Dhezi couldn't help but to grin and laugh, rolling his eyes. "Ay, thanks."

Maryn grinned toothily, ruffling Dhezi's hair before standing back up. 

"Sleep well, mijo."