#columbo’s asks

[columbo-lapd]

(columbo voice) the murdera likes only one thing, these femboys, gee whiz, my wife can't get enough either

interesting… just found out about these “fem boys”. and boy are you right. my wife would go nuts ova this

[pied-piper-pluto]

"All this digital art stuff, you know, it goes way over my head. But my wife, y'see, she has this cousin Lou. Now Lou's a real smart cookie, knows everything from Blender to Clip Studio, but the one thing they won't touch is AI. Says it wastes a whole lot of electricity for something that only looks good at a glance.

See, a computer, it can't think through things like a human can. You or I, when we look at a drawing of an apple, we can compare it to real apples we've seen. If you show us a drawing of some orange thing with spikes coming out every which way, well, we can tell you that sure doesn't look like an apple.

But a computer? All a computer can do is look at pictures of apples. And if you give that computer enough pictures of apples that are a little bit orange, or a little bit bumpy, well. It might just decide that spiky orange thing is an apple too. It takes a whole lot of pictures of apples to get the computer mostly good at guessing when things are apples or not.

Now, that's bad enough when you just want your computer to tell you what it sees. When you want a computer to make an image, though, that's where Lou says you really run into trouble. You put a piece of paper in front of me, give me a pencil, and tell me to draw an apple, it won't win any awards. But it'll be a new drawing. Nobody's ever drawn that exact same drawing the exact same way before.

But if you take your computer that's gotten pretty good at guessing when things are apples, and you tell it "okay, draw me an apple", it can't make a completely new drawing of an apple. Instead, it'll take the pictures you've given it and mash 'em together. Maybe, at the end, you won't be able to tell which pictures it used, but if you ask it for enough drawings of apples, you'll start seeing patterns...

I'm sorry, I'll get out of your hair. I know you have to get back to your painting.

Just one more thing... how many fingers does that man in the corner have?"

[skiploom]

tumblr ate the ask before i could publish it 😭

[columboscreens]

hey! i'm finishing season 7 this sunday (this has been my first time watching the entire show from beginning to end) and from what i understand, seasons 8-10 came many years after season 7. my question(s) is: what should i expect? are there any hidden gems in seasons 8 through 10 or will i have a hard time watching them? i still intend to watch all the episodes because i love Columbo and enjoy the show (and i'm bit of a completionist), but i would like to know what awaits me in the next three seasons. love your blog by the way, you're doing a great service <3

thank you!

to answer questions like this, i've drawn up a little guide to the episodes of columbo, their overall quality, and how often Dog appears.

[griffsin]

personally I think we should lock columbo, benoit blanc and nick valentine in a room together and see what happens

[ziggysgender]

study. ✏️

process shit for funsies ⬇️

[moonshynecybin]

sorry what exactly happened in Argentina?

repsol-ariel did two gifests about it here and here and the race is actually online 4 free HEREE but as vale says in that podcast, marc made a stupid tire choice and vale passed him, then marc got a lil overzealous tryin to catch him again and crashed out pretty hard. now where vale and i disagree in terms of interpretation of these events is uh. notable. because vale seems to think that marc gunned it on the inside (not pictured in the gifsets but they DO make contact right before that, 45:37 is the timestamp on youtube) so he could divebomb vale and knock him out of the race on purpose. like a nascar bump and run. which um no i dont think that is correct my man. in fact i think that is somewhat unhinged ! like the contact/crash is marc's typical slightly criminal overeager bully-on-track behavior and IS marc's fault imo but like marc is being the same bitch he's always been. brother it happens. vale's statement also. interestingly 2 me. sounds a lot like what pecco said about alex a couple weeks ago. funny, that !

but fr its essentially the first sign of on-track tension between them for the 2015 season, and also pretty emblematic of marc's season as a whole. The 2015 honda had a difficult, unforgiving chassis and marc crashed a lot more than normal (part of which was him trying to override it), which along with some injuries pretty much took him out of title contention for the year (the yamaha was also just really good ! vale and jorge were slayingggg). but vale being like YEAH marc tried to KILL ME and then KISSED MY ASS for the rest of the year despite HATING ME for the rest of the season is like. a really crazy thing to say to me because the NEXT RACE was jerez 2015, where he made a bunch of tongue in cheek gay sex jokes about him + marc AND was just generally VERY sweet the whole time ! like he was pretty concerned about marc's hand injury! (links HERE and here and here and theres more i cant find but crucially its all initiated by VALE. not marc) so i think there's some realllll confirmation bias coloring his memory here because as we know if vale hates your ass he'll just cut you the fuck out. and he demonstrably hadnt done that yet. like look at this image. look at the person fujoing out in the back. this was two weeks after argentina !!!!

[lieutenant-columbro]

Animated Columbo commercial:

https://twitter.com/_cckirby/status/1680659028504985605?s=12

i love that japan just decided one day that columbo was gonna be their new national blorbo 🥺 his silly liddle fella swag really does cross all borders 🙏

[superbeans89]

[nonamehorse]

I love it when a story has a man in it that just loves his wife so much he'll just mention her whenever possible also love it even more when they mention her because of reasons like "my wife would know what to do in this situation" real himbo energy

this is why columbo is the best detective btw

[girlwiththegreenhat]

literally sitting w my family watching columbo and then i open tumblr and immediately see columbo. trick or treat btw

pov you just walked in to see columbo

[columbo-lapd]

https://www.tumblr.com/columbo-lapd/755454245164220416/new-evidence-his-younga-brother-is-a-lego?source=share

How'd this case go, Lieutenant

family barred the whole thing off. attempting to close the case. I’m gonna find a way to get this resolved as quickly as possible because I am almost completely certain the mother is the murderer

[reactionimagesdaily]

do you have any columbo reaction images?

No, I had to find some xD

[skiploom]

[columboscreens]

Please, friend, do you have the screencap where Columbo says something like, "the best way to make an omelet is no eggs, only milk!"? 🥺

(original post)

fun fact: the original line was "no milk, just eggs" but peter falk flubbed the line and they kept it in. makes me sad that we'll never get to see columbo bloopers

[journey-to-the-attic]

Soo does Simeon actually have a chance with Jian or would it be an unattainable crush thing?

Also I feel like we're missing a very crucial demon if there's an actual detective involved. What's Satan's view on the whole thing? Does he also want that old man carnally

maaaaaybe after everyone comes clean about the whole angels-and-demons thing? though even knowing that simeon's, what, 97589 years old, jian would still be like "oh hahaha i'm far too old for you"

i feel it would take constant gentle reminders from simeon for at least a month before he even considers it, but then comes the challenge of actually communicating interest, because jian's method of shambling interrogation means that he instinctively just starts "yes, and"-ing simeon at every turn

in other words, if simeon really goes for it with dedication and determination, then yes! otherwise, he'll just have to be content with being "the nice young man at the cafe"

as for satan - i feel like it's very possible that he's the one who has an unattainable crush, in that he doesn't actually want to pursue a relationship, but he enjoys things like competing for praise. it'd be more very, very strong admiration coupled with a sort of desire for attention (and also he does think he's kind of hot)