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peachydyoung · 6 years

Text

paramour | d.sc (m)

— genre ➙ nonidol!au + patientwinwin!au + intern!reader + smut + angst

— words ➙ 10k if there’s spelling mistakes please excuse them. i’ve been up for like 20 hours and would like to go to sleep

— member ➙ Dong Sicheng

— warnings ➙ graphic smut, dirty talk, softdom!winwin + sub!reader, oral sex, sex, fingering + strong language + forbidden relationship. Mentions of mental illness but not directly linked with characters, addiction

There were a lot of secrets Sicheng had. He was struggling with his past addiction to Adderal and Xanax; no longer being addicted. And dealing with his insufferable snobby family. His obsession with drugs shifted when he met the new intern at the Psychiatric hospital, his old summer fling. Also turning out to be his therapist. Sicheng is desperate for love, and so are you. Everyone knows Sicheng is hard to resist.

↳ 01 ongoing

— ⚠️ DISCLAIMER⚠️ ➙ This contains a very problematic scenario. Please know that this is a story with an intriguing topic to read about, not to act upon. Each fic will have their own set of warnings, look at them and evaluate if they are for you. My intention is not to offend, or trigger anybody, I am here to entertain you and exercise my passion as a writer.

You bumped into your ex-boyfriend.

Although it was mandatory to speak at him since you did work at the same psychiatric hospital, you still didn’t like it. Especially since he was your superior Doctor and you were only an intern.

When you saw Wonho walking down the hall you couldn’t find the strength to let him look you in the eyes. So instead, you went down a different hall taking you away from your desired destination.

Though you didn’t have any romantic feelings for him anymore, you would rather not see him in a workplace environment. Seeing each other only led to uncomfortable confrontations and terrible work gossip. All of which you hated.

However, you were not going to let Wonho ruin your day. You had finally been given a patient to counsel, and you could say you were very excited. You were even more excited about finishing up your day and going home.

“So this means what?” You asked while Sue bit her lip, looking at your intern uniform. You wore a red top with the Therapy center's name embroidered into the upper right shoulder. It was paired with your old blue skinny jeans.

She nodded her head at you, smiling proudly and handing you your clipboard. “It means that you look cute and you’re ready for this patient. He doesn't like feeling like he’s here… ya know… in a hospital. So casual clothes are the way to go.”

Sue was the only person you could turn to as of recently. She was older than you by thirty-two years and a nurse at Old Thornhill psychiatric center, but you were still best friends with the women. It was as if she was just your older sister.

“No. This means I’m growing up.” And despite the fact that you loved some aspects of adulthood, you hated the tremendous pressure that was put on you. You couldn’t stand paying rent, you couldn’t stand part time jobs, and you couldn't stand living alone. You hated it.

“Isn’t that what you want?” She pushed her glasses further up her nose and clacked on her reception computer before looking back up at you.

“Not when I like how things are going in my life. Sometimes I welcome change, sometimes I don’t.” She chuckled, handing you your lanyard with your hospital I.D in it.

“Well once you leave you can be rid of Hoseok, our tortured doctor. And you can tell everyone you know what it means to be in a judgment-free, passionate, kind workplace.” You winced at her words. Sue still loved Hoseok. Hoseok being Wonho's more formal name.

And to be frank, Wonho was giving everyone shit for breaking up with you. He was stressed and not over you one bit, but that was his fault for breaking up with you on a technicality.

“Tortured?” You took the I.D card from her and put it around your neck, running a hand delicately through your hair. “How do you still bear him.” The hospital was doing slowly as of right now. There hadn’t been any extreme episodes in a couple weeks and everything was going fine.

“Forgiveness, Y/N. You would do well to learn that before you leave as well.”

You hated talking about Wonho. Everything that happened between you two was so public and tragic that reliving it was too painful for you to think about. But instead of staying. You quickly grabbed your clipboard and said a goodbye to Sue.

You hurried down the hallway faster than normal. You didn’t just run to get to your patient, you ran because Hoseok always came down this way at this time. And like you always so potently pointed out. You hated him.

You hurried to the door. Trying to peer into the room, the blinds stood in the way.

Oddly enough, you still opened the door, stepping in and realizing nobody was there. You cocked your eyebrow, looking behind the door and around the room. Patients were interesting sometimes, you never knew how their mind worked. So you wouldn't be surprised if a patient was hiding from you. But instead, you decided to sit down and see how this plays out. Maybe this patient was late.

You remembered Wonho. You remembered everything about him so clearly.

You had been standing next to an annoying intern all day. It was your first day at the hospital and you were getting a tour.

Amidst the commotion of the busy week and crowded hallway, you bumped into a stranger. You both tried to get past each other, but you were both stepping in each other’s way again, accidentally.

By then your group was long gone, and you were with some attractive stranger.

“Are you new?” He asked, a smirk present on his pink lips. It was the same man that you saw at the front desk. You nodded, pushing a strand of your hair out of your face. He continued to look down your body. You could tell he didn’t do this often, from the way people looked at him and listened to every word he called out, you knew he was respected.

“What’s your name?” The mysterious black haired doctor asked. The same man who you had been told was the most respected doctor there.

“Y/N.” You replied with a racing heart. He chuckled at you, your eyes drifting from his face and to his muscular arms. Maybe he wore short-sleeved doctor scrubs for a reason. The scrubs looked like they were going to rip, he was so buff. “And you?”

“Dr. Lee, but for you it’s Wonho… tell me Y/N, why aren’t you on the tour with the rest of the interns,” He asked with a self-satisfied smirk, knowing full well he’s the reason why.

“Someone got in my way,” You said back, acting as innocent as you possibly could despite saying something like that to your superior. “So if you excuse me, I’ll have to go catch up with them.”

“That won’t be necessary Y/N.” He edged closer to you, fingertips delicately running through his hair. “I’m your tour guide from now on.”

Sometimes you hated yourself for accepting that tour from him. You didn’t know you would end up causing yourself all this grief. You looked up, seeing your patient step through the door.

“—Listen, I know you’re here to get information out of me, but I’m not here for small talk, I’m here for my mother and friend. That’s all.” You looked down at your clipboard, reading over his information. Clicking your green pen and beginning to write down on the orange notepad, you smiled.

While you jotted down the beginnings of what would be your notes for this session, Sicheng took his time to watch you. He was good at examining people. It was one of his favorite things to do, he had a flare for analyzation. He liked your hair, he liked how long your eyelashes were, he liked the way the bridge of your nose dipped so graciously. But he found it hard to simply just figure you out. You had peaked his interest.

“Mr. Dong, I f—” An unfamiliar huff came from the boy.

“It’s Winwin, got it?” He sounded disinterested, a sarcastic sounding boy. His name surprised you, not vaguely familiar at all. It was him, the one and only.

“Winwin?” You looked up, shock apparent on your face. The brown haired boy smiled, slowly turning his smile into a sinister smirk.

“I was wondering when you would notice.”

You and Sicheng had a summer fling the summer after your senior year. Nothing came of it but a happy summer with a Chinese boy from your high school. His smirk deemed to be more troubling than anticipated, his malicious smirk giving you ideas of what he was thinking.

“Sicheng you can’t tell anybody,” Your breath hitched in your throat, giving away every single emotion you were feeling. You knew that if you backed down from your first patient, you would not get one again, and you needed this. You needed a good resume after you completed college.

“And why would I do that?” he smiled. It wasn’t a fake smile or a sinister one, it was one of true curiosity. “Afterall, you were my favorite thing to play with.”

“You’re not very quiet anymore,” you mumbled, recollecting how shy he was in high school and how he barely talked to people.

“That’s because I can speak English now. Learning Korean and English takes its toll on someone. You can’t expect someone who knew only Chinese to be the loudest person in high school.” And he was right. Sicheng was quiet in school. A quiet stunner. He was charming, kind, funny, and incredibly gorgeous. Below the surface was an incredibly deep-voiced boy with a hard personality. “And of course I’m not going to be my usual shy self with someone I’ve seen naked.”

You stared at him, narrowing your widened eyes and making sure he knew you were serious. “Sicheng. You can’t say a word. You can’t mention this at all.” He nodded, understanding that maybe it wasn’t in his best interest to tell everyone he had sex with the intern counseling him. Despite what everyone thought, he craved friendship, he wanted people to break the barrier of shyness he had up. Nobody ever would.

“So what are we going to talk about now prince—”

“And you can’t do that either. Or I’ll switch patients, you’re my patient, not my friend.” He frowned, leaning back in his chair and thinking for a moment. He finally spoke.

“Okay.” It was surprisingly soft as if he was thinking of what to do next, his hand extending to your desk to shake your hand. “It’s just really hard coming here when you feel like everyone out is get you—let’s start over—I’m Winwin.”

You smiled softly, taking his hand and shaking. You nodded at him. “I’m your doctor, Ms. Y/L/N”

Suddenly a wide smile fell on his face a laugh erupting from his lips as he watched you. Did he just? The inevitable answer was yes—yes he did. Heaving to catch his breath he giggled.

“You’re so gullible aren’t you! We’re gonna have so much fun Y/N…. now…. Down to business, do your job.”

Session 3, November 21st

It had been raining every day that week. It didn’t matter how hot or cold it was, the rain would come in light patters or heavy pounds. Today it had been on and off, giving only a few minutes of rainless bliss in between the heavy rain showers. You weren’t looking forward to seeing Sicheng, but at that same time, something was bound to happen when he came, that always excited you.

Jooheon and Minhyuk were desperate at that point for you to give Wonho a chance. They even wanted you to go out with them. Jooheon was courting a girl and didn’t want to go alone, while Wonho was trying to fix things with you. Jooheon thought a group setting would have been a better choice for everyone to connect.

Sicheng, on the other hand, was acting moody during his sessions. Sometimes acting cheeky and then other’s acting particularly sentimental. Though you knew that wasn't uncommon for him.

Sicheng bustled into the office, running his fingers through his wet hair and glancing at you momentarily, like always, he wore his infamous sparkly eyed smiled.

He shook off his jacket, leaving it on the coat rack next to the door and strolled over to his chair, falling back in his seat and chuckling. He didn't waste any time to start talking.

“You know,” he started. “I think your therapy is already working on me.” You blinked at him, nodding for him to go on with the little story.

“Really?” You asked curiously. “Go on, I would love to hear what you did.” But instead of jumping in, he raised his eyebrow at you and said something different.

It wasn't like Sicheng asked it innocently, he wanted to make you uncomfortable, he always liked making you uncomfortable. It was his favorite past time. He loved everything about the feeling when your face would mirror the disgust you felt inside.

“I haven't had sex in months,” he stated.

With a keen eye, you stared at him, a scowl plastered on your face as he smirked. These were one of the days that he was particularly controversial. He would always say or ask random things that were said to surprise you.

“I don’t think this is very—”

But you knew he had no care of what you thought in these particular moments.

“But I’m asking, so you should answer.”

No. That wasn’t how it worked. He had a habit of wanting things his way or no way and you were pretty sure he would give you shit if you didn't say anything.

“I don’t really care,” You said back, a tension settling over the room. Sicheng’s being a little more playful than your intense annoyed one.

"Do you have sex often, Y/N?" He asked, leaning closer to your desk in curiosity. If he thought you would ever answer, he was crazy. “From what I remember, you were a handful,” He recollected, bringing his finger up to his chin and thinking comically.

He stared at you, watching as your face contorted into different emotions. If it wasn’t enough to tease you about the old days, what was? He knew you well. He knew you like the back of his hand. It was easy to get into your head, it was easy to make you fall in love. “You were pretty demanding.” He chuckled. “Sicheng, I sucked you, so you have to eat me out. Sicheng get me food! I hate this position let’s try—”

“Sicheng!” You nearly shouted. Quieting down once you heard the volume of your voice.

“What?” He exclaimed. "I haven't had sex in months," he reasoned. "What do you expect, I can't find any women as demanding as you."

Remembering the many playful fights you had with each other over the summer. How he always made you sit on his lap when you got mad at him. How he wrapped his arms around your waist when you were talking to your friends, you began to feel a little... nostalgic? sad? “I want a demanding woman. It’s cute to see them try and disobey me.”

“This is insanely inappropriate. We’ve only had three sessions—”

“And you always used to swoop my hair to the side,” he chuckled “And I’d get mad at you because Yuta would always tease us and it was… embarrassing.”

“I—We never dated, we were friends with benefits,” you looked down, writing down random notes that would serve no help to you, all you wanted was to look like you didn’t care.

“You’re really telling me we weren’t a real cou—”

“Yes, I am,” you believed otherwise. Of course, you had to say anything to make Sicheng leave you alone. But all you could think about was how he touched you. You had always been very touchy, Sicheng just hated when people saw. And you had always thought of him as your boyfriend, though you never made it official.

"Do you have sex often, Y/N?"

"No."

“I feel like you’re lying.” he leaned back, crossing his arms as he watched you. “That hurts my feelings, Y/N.” How was he doing this to you? You had guessed it was just his face. You’d never lost your mind over a patient before. It was obvious he knew you inside out. "I don't like when people hurt my feelings.”

He knew what you liked and he knew what you lusted for. You might have had power, but he knew how to make the moved to override anything professional. The temptation is very dangerous.

You wanted to say something, but instead, you remained quiet. Waiting for your time to be up.

Session 5, November 23rd

“I didn’t realize I was so unimportant to you.” Sicheng leered as he walked around the therapy office, stopping at the window momentarily to take in the weather. It was rainy, as per usual. It always rained around there, around the hospital that is. It was always cold as well, always colder than everywhere else in town.

Sicheng was seen as a high-risk patient, although you had to disagree. This was your fourth session. The last two days gave you enough time to note all his previous tragedies after you exited his life. And to say the least—they were all terrible and tragic. But somehow Sicheng still remained oddly punctual. His mother was probably the only reason why he was still here, she was keeping her son here even against doctors advice. She’s convinced there's something wrong.

“Winwin, I hope you can elaborate on why you think that?” You replied, your head still stuffed in your notes, ferociously writing everything down about Winwin. He looked back at you, admiring how keen you looked with your hair down and speedily writing on your note sheet.

While he ditched you for drugs, he wondered who was holding you instead of him, and he felt guilty. He felt guilty for leaving when he had feelings for you. It might have only been a friends with benefits thing to you, but maybe if he stuck around he would have never gotten in the car accident and would have never been doing drugs. Somewhere deep inside him, he knew you were his, or else you wouldn’t come back, you wouldn’t be together.

“For one.” He began, turning towards you and walking closer to your desk, falling back into his chair that sat proudly in front of it. “You don’t look at me when we talk. And you talk to me like I’m your patient. I thought we were more than that.” You glanced at him, shaking your head lightly. He had been talking about his issues so leisurely, you were narrowing down medications and possible disorders he could have.

“I thought we were more when you cut ties with me after that summer. But I guess not.” He frowned, looking to the side and thinking of a comeback. But to no avail, he settled for a mediocre reply.

“I’m here now?” He gave with a wry smile. “Besides, we can be friend—”

“Sich—Winwin,” you narrowed your eyes at him. “I think one of the reasons why you feel depressed is because you never go outside.” He cocked his head to the side, thinking on what you were saying. It was obvious nobody had said this before. “You’re constantly at home not doing anything,” you explained. “You never hang out with your friends and you’re always being babied by your mother. When we were…. Together… You forced me out of my house, you had friends, you were happy because you were around people. If you try to reconnect maybe go out with Yuta or Taeil, you won’t constantly be thinking about your father or all the things you stress about.”

He thought about it for a moment. Looking at you to continue “You start doing that, or I put you on Lexapro.” You looked at the time on your watch, seeing that the session was nearing a close. Winwin looked conflicted, his arms crossed tightly and his body leaned into the chair with a frown on his youthful face.

“And what do I get? What happens if I listen?” Inevitably it wasn’t enough for him. He wasn’t the same boy you once knew. Once where there were soft curves now have rough edges, but it was refreshing, you knew he still had a softness to him. You knew the whole time.

“You get happiness. You get your friends, you get family, you could even possibly… get a significant other.” He cocked his eyebrow in amusement. Watching as your face blushed under your words. You were always someone who blushes easily.

“That’s not enough,” He simpered, leaning in closer to your desk suspiciously. You raised your eyebrow like you usually found yourself doing.

“And what can I do for you that would be enough, Sicheng.” A small smirk was present on his lips, his face mirroring something sinister.

“Tell me Y/N,” he bit his lip, staring at you with mischievous eyes. A wild gleam forming in his brown orbs. “Are you still as sexually submissive as I remember?” Your heartbeat picked up, but you wouldn’t realize until after he left at how nervous you were. You couldn’t feel or see your blush, but you knew you were turning red. “Because I would love to find out.”

“Mr. Dong,” You spat coldly at him, trying to remain calm. But you knew, some part of you really did want to be with this boy. Not because you actually liked him, more so because you wanted to bury Wonho’s chapter. You wanted to leave him behind. “I’ll be informing your mother that Lexapro is the new medication, she’ll know once you get home.” Winwin eyes filled with concern, immediately wishing he hadn’t said anything. He hated medication.

“How about a kiss on the cheek?” He suggested. “That, and I’ll do whatever you want me to do.” You weighed your options. Medication truly was the last resort since you didn’t really see a need for it. Wonho suggested it. So instead of actually giving him medication, you let it slide that Sicheng had been inappropriate with you.

“Fine.” You stood up from your chair, walking towards the door. You waited for him to gather himself and mirror your actions, watching his taller frame pull his chair back and stand up, rubbing his hands with a smirk he walked closer towards you. Standing right in front of he looked down at you, turning his face and waiting for you to give him what he wanted.

“I’m ready when you are, princess.” His old pet name didn’t come without complications. They came with recollections of what you both did when he used it, despite it being a bit cliche, it never got old coming from him. It tasted like honey on his tongue. Lily puckering your lips, you reached moved closer.

You should have known. Maybe you were too gullible.

In one swift movement, his face turned and a kiss was planted on Sicheng’s lips. His hands pulling your waist towards him, and he pushed you into the wall. You hadn’t really thought about it. You didn’t know what to do. You knew it was wrong, but somehow the feeling of kissing him back felt like a rebel. It felt too good to stop, and afterward, you knew you would act like you hated it when you both knew you didn’t. You, in fact, wanted it a lot.

The first kiss was soft, but as your back pressed against the wall, Sicheng inhaled sharply and grabbed your harsher, he kissed you harsher. His hands were running up your body wildly as you wrapped your hands around his neck. His palms were grabbing at your ass one moment and then touching your clothed core. And then slowly the kisses mirrored Sicheng's manner. Open-mouthed and tongue, the only sound being the way your tongues danced.

But slowly he pulled away, another malicious smirk playing on his face.

“Dr. Y/L/N, care to show me out?”

To say the least. You went home that day feeling a fool.

“So how’s everything for you Y/N?” Wonho asked, sipping his drink as he turned to you.

You didn’t know how, but somehow you found yourself roped into dinner with a couple people from work. You had finished seeing Winwin that day and you weren’t excited about seeing him the next day. Unavoidably he brought up the kiss, bragging and gloating as if your job wasn’t on the line.

And instead of meeting with his mother to discuss possible treatments, you were roped into Minhyuk’s little dinner, bringing you along with Sarah to be ‘The perfect matchmaker’ in his eyes. Jooheon liked Sarah and Wonho liked you. So there you sat at dinner, with Wonho’s muscular arm around your shoulder and Minhyuk basking in the fact he had just made you extremely uncomfortable.

“Everything’s great,” you hummed, trying to wiggle out of Wonho’s grasp.

“That’s great,” he smiled down at you. “We haven’t been able to catch up in awhile,” he mused.

But that didn’t matter. Nothing Wonho said mattered when you saw Winwin.

As soon as you saw Yuta, Johnny, and Sicheng walk into the same restaurant you knew that you would be in trouble in a matter of minutes. It seemed that Winwin had kept in contact with all the people from high school and you cut ties with everyone, but as Winwin spotted you, there was no hiding the fact that he was excited.

And if it wasn’t enough for Winwin, who you knew was spilling all the things he had said to you to them, giving you looks was. And the looks he gave caused attention. You guessed he was betting on the fact that Wonho or someone else would see. He was betting on the fact he would see how uncomfortable Sicheng made you.

“Will you excuse me?” You asked, not waiting for a response as you grabbed your bag and shuffled off towards the bathroom.

The way he turned to Johnny and Yuta and skillfully told them. The way his eyes traced Wonho’s arm but still had an unwavering smirk on his face pointed to all signs. Dong Sicheng would not stop until he was yours. He had listened to your advice, he had made out with you, and he was pointing to the fact that you both had a connection. And here he was, at the same place you were. It had to be a sign.

You didn’t know why you left the table, you weren’t too shaken up to need a break. But maybe a part of you, no matter how deep down, wanted Sicheng to follow you.

He had been wearing blue jeans and a white t-shirt, yet he always managed to look good. It was a wonder to you that only three sessions in, Sicheng had commanded full attention over you. It was as if you were pulled to him. Not a feeling of love, but a feeling of ‘you’re attractive and I need somebody’ despite how desperate it sounded.

“Were you waiting for me, Princess?” His voice hung thick in the narrow corridor, watching as you leaned up against the wall and smiling. “I didn’t know you and Dr. Lee Hoseok were a thing—”

“We’re not,” you shot down quickly. His raised his eyebrows, sauntering closer to your form. His elbow resting against the wall as he stared at you, his breath fanning your face.

“You deny it quick Y/N… almost as if you don’t want someone to get the wrong idea.”

There had been to many encounters with Winwin to have another tense one that would reply itself in your mind for days.

“Can you stop following me?” You asked harshly, trying to redirect the conversation although you knew that it was all a coincidence.

“Following you?” He asked a little shocked. Coincidences meant something, they always did. “Does the idea flatter you? A handsome boy following you.” And then suddenly he was in front of you, his lips eerily close to your collarbone. “I wasn’t following you if that’s what you think.” He suddenly pulled away. A smile illuminating his handsome features. “But if you want to flatter yourself with that idea, I don’t object.”

You didn’t know why you were feeling this was, to be honest. And it was a really hard feeling to analyze, you didn’t know what you felt, all you knew was that you felt it. You stared at him, taking in his casual appearance, the glow on his skin, the smile on his face. It felt normal, like you two were normal but then again, you weren’t.

“You should get back your friends, Y/N, you don’t want them to come looking for us.”

The regret would come in quiet moments, in times where you could stop and think. Before you went to sleep when you were in the shower, or even now. As Sicheng stood over you, your veins coursing with adrenaline. Your heart rate picking up. And no matter how hard you pushed back, temptation pushed harder. And finally, you wondered why you could never control yourself.

It seemed unfair that no matter how hard you strived to be a good, responsible, decent human being, you were constantly taunted by your desires. Each one is more tempting than the other, and somehow you never learned. When it came to love you thought with your feelings, your logic coming in afterward.

“Will you be able to survive without me?” He asked, amusement woven in his voice. “It’s only until tomorrow,” He pouted. “You can wait that long rig—”

“Just go Sicheng.”

He had always been the one to tease you. Taunting you with his words like it was some kind of joke. You resented him for that. He put his hands up like you were the police. Like you had caught him stealing drugs, he used to do years ago. With a smirk and his hands up, walking backward, there was no more good cop and bad cop anymore. Because there was a part of you that wanted him, and you hated yourself for it.

Why couldn’t you want Wonho? Why were you set on having someone you shouldn’t have. And Wonho was perfect for your life right now. He had money, a stable job, he was kind (notwithstanding) and endearing. But no. You wanted an ex-addict, summer fling, with daddy issues. It stumped you. Your back still against the wall, your body vehemently trying to regain air as you stood there shocked.

Just go, Y/N. Get out of here. And so you did. Pacing back to the table with your friends, the buzzing, and smiles of the group rendering you jealous. Had you wanted Winwin to come over? The question raced through your mind. There was no other possible explanation for why you stood up. You knew he would come, you knew that the whole time. So why put yourself in a situation you don’t want.

“I need to go.”

They all glanced up at you. Minhyuk’s face dropping at your skittish demeanor. You guessed that it was good you told Minhyuk your doubts about you and Wonho, at least then you wouldn’t have somehow created a huge lie on why you wanted to leave or looked so nervous.

“Okay…?” Minhyuk trailed off, his head cocking to the side and a concerned look painted on his face. Wonho on other-other hand wore an indignant expression irritably snatching his water from the table and taking a long sip. You glanced at him, taking you purse that laid on the seat.

“Get home safely,” he simmered, anger watered down by his self-control. You nodded, pushing the doors of the restaurant open and walking in the drizzling night.

Session 7, November 24th

He stood outside the door, heaving a loud breath and smiling momentarily. He was excited to see you again. Old mannerisms coming back like they never left. It felt odd from his normal behavior, though still apart of him, he liked it. He liked that things were coming back to normal. He liked that he saw Johnny again. He liked Taeil and Yuta. And he liked you.

The knob of the door turned slowly, commanding your attention at how eerily slow it was going. You smoothed your hair quickly and had already taken out your notes, looking for even the slightest chance of progress with Sicheng. “So you and Wonho,” He started with, opening the door and closing it softly behind you. Pushing his soft brown hair from his eyes and smiling weakly.

“Would you stop bringing him up?” You asked more forcibly than you should have. Sicheng looked uncomfortable. “You always butt into my personal life like it’s a game. Stop it.”

He quieted down, nodding his head slowly at you, seeing the sudden outburst. But with him you never knew, it could all be a game. “So tell me.” You began. “Have you made any progress?”

And then that session, something very odd happened. It was almost like a switch went off. Sicheng had been showing incredible progress. He had gone back to his old self again, his high school self.

Shyly answering your questions with thoughtful answers, minimal laughing, and smirks. Just soft smiles. He was enchanting to watch, not knowing if it was your treatment or outburst that changed him. And then slowly his answers fell back into the same rut. Switching between provocative and shy, some being a mix.

“You seem to be doing good you,” you mumbled, leaning back in your seat and setting down your pen.

“Because of you princess. You’re the first one not to shove pills down my throat and expect a change.” Princess. The pet name reminded you why you were here. A grin sat on his face, proud and happy.

“It’s just… are you lying? Because it seems so quick, you’ve been in therapy nonstop for a year.” He raised his eyebrow and crossed his arms in displeasure.

“No. I’m not lying, Y/N. We’ve had six, now seven sessions, I think that’s enough to show some progress.” You nodded, believing him for once. But you dreaded what was to come. “Well—I’m afraid that you have 6 more sessions to go in the treatment. After that, you can decide to go somewhere lower risk or just stop. I’ve talked—convinced your mother and she seems to believe me.” As much as he tried to hide his smile, you could still see the ends of his lips turning in a happy dance. He looked at you, his lips falling into place.

“Than why do you look sad?” He asked. “Is it because you want to see me more?” An arrogant smirk found it ways on his face.

And that absolutely was not it. You had decided not see him for the same reason you wanted to see him. You liked him.

“Next session will be our last session. I can’t keep seeing you, you’ll be in good hand, Dr...“ You shuffled through your paperwork, looking for a name. “Dr. Lee Jooheon will just take over. He won’t ask any personal questions, he’ll just make sure you’re sticking to the treatment plan.”

“Are you fucking serious?” Sicheng’s voice turned dangerously deep, his eyes widening in disgust for what you were proposing. Despite the fact he liked you, you were one of the only advisors he’d ever trusted, and not being able to talk to you, to smell your fruity perfume saddened him. “Why? Why now? Why can’t you see me?” His eyebrows furrowed in a cocktail of confusion and anger.

“It wouldn’t be very appropriate for me to keep treating you,” you sighed, this was only your first time meeting a real patient and you already screwed everything up.

“How? Is this because of the kiss? I won’t do it again.” He leaned forward angrily, his demeanor becoming aggressive and volatile.

“ I’ve grown... very fond of you. My opinion is no longer neutral everything I say will be bias—“

“You’re not going to see me because you like me?” His voice raised, his volume at a staggering level. You were thankful for the soundproof rooms in the place. He slowly stood up, his face getting closer to yours.

“Excuse me?! I don’t like you!” You raised your voice back, slamming your hands on the desk and standing up to match him.

“I won’t fucking act on anything if that’s what you want to hear!” But you knew that you would, sooner or later.

“This is my career. It’s against my work code, I could get in trouble. I’m exploiting my power over you. If I do it to gratify my own sexual, financial or egotistical needs, it's a violation. If I say I can no longer treat you, you’re just going to have to accept that.”

His stood back, looking at you, his face distorting into despondency and he heard the words leave your mouth. “But please Sicheng… Don’t let this affect your treatment. You’re doing well. I want you happy.”

“You would make me happy.” He whispered, his voice cracking under the tension in the room. “You always made me happy.”

“Sicheng you need to leave.”

“It was always you.” You looked into his eyes. In his brown orbs, reflected the thing you didn’t want to see. All the lonesomeness and depression gathered into one set of beautiful brown pupils.

“Winwin… I’ll see you next session.” And very slowly he leaned away, glancing at you once before shoving his hands into his pockets and walking away.

When Sicheng arrived home that night the only thing he could do was call Taeil. It was as if Taeil knew that he liked you already, the way he narrowed his eyes as Sicheng talked about counseling, the odd change in behavior. But when Taeil didn’t, there was only one thing he could do.

He threw himself onto his bed, unsurely reaching for his leather belt and sliding it free from the looped jeans. He tugs his pants off, not bothering to even unzip his pants, and finally, until his hard cock sprung free. Recollections burned through his mind. You're flushed face whenever he said something suggestive, the way your face turned red with anger, the way he used to touch you. Unsure of himself, he closed his eyes. Reaching down and touching his member, quickly pumping his shaft, obscene fantasies of a forbidden relationship flashing through his mind. You were sure you would feel better. He was sure if he fucked you, you wouldn’t be able to resist.

He groaned loudly, using gentler strokes as he came all over his hand. It wasn’t what he wanted, but for the time being, it would have to do. That is until tomorrow.

And he was irrevocably and unconditionally obsessed with you.

Across town, you sat in your apartment, clacking away at your computer in the dim lighting of your kitchen. There hadn’t been a moment that day where you were able to dwell on Sicheng. You had thrown yourself into college and work, not once paying mind to the aching feeling in your heart. But as the day grew into a night, a heavy feeling washed over you.

In this sadness there was no past or future, just living the moment. Time would slow and as you walked onto your balcony, looking onto the busy street, it caught up with you all at once. The wave, the drop of your stomach, the emotional displeasure. You looked to the side. The plants you placed there with Wonho were wilting in their pots. You could taste the rain in the air. This was a loss.

You leaned on the balcony, bringing your head in your hands and groaning. And at that moment alone tear traced down your cheek. Once that pieces fell, they all came tumbling down. Accumulating into a cry, then a sob, then into total hysteria. You cried as if the ferocity of it might change the vital decisions that brought you here. Trying to work in this profession, accepting Sicheng as a patient, liking him. It was as if by the sheer force of your grief would make the issue disappear, come undone. But the issue was it. There were no questions, no turnbacks. It stood at a standstill. You stood at a standstill.

And you were irrevocably and unconditionally falling deeper into Sicheng.

Last session, November 26th

Sicheng slowly tugged his jacket off. Eyeing you as curiosity bit at him. Instead of sitting at your desk, and his usual white uncomfortable chair, you were now both on the couch, you one side and Sicheng too close for comfort.

This session you at least wanted Sicheng to let out his feelings in a more friend mannered way. Maybe this way it would be a proper goodbye for him. He did have feelings for you, but he was also your patient, and you had a job to do. You needed to make sure he was safe.

“I need to make sure you don’t hurt yourself.” You tenaciously began. “If you feel like hurting yours—”

“If you think I’m going to hurt myself because of you. Your dead wrong and a bit conceded.” He crossed his arms and menaced, his brown eyes reflecting something resentful. “I’m not going to do anything.”

“I wasn’t asking because of the events yesterday, Sicheng. I was asking because it’s very emotional and stressful to switch therapists, I don’t want you getting too stressed or… yeah.” You trailed off not knowing where to go after that. Yes, you did ask him about hurting himself for those reasons, but you also asked because you knew he liked you and was a very emotional person.

“You’re the same as all the other ones. Useless.” You bit back a retort, trying to convince yourself it was because he was troubled. But you knew that couldn’t possibly be true. You knew he was a normal boy with more issues than the usual person. His mother kept him here. That was all.

“I’m useless?” You asked, defense mixed in your voice. You tried to remind yourself that you were the therapist, you had the power. But you weren’t. Sicheng had the power, he had it all. “What about you? You seem to only operate when I’m around! You seem to only listen to me! You’ve gotten better because of me. What’s useless is you doing drugs and killing your—”

“Don’t.” He stared at you. He wasn’t shocked. But you had been. That you were going to let yourself so carelessly say something like that, use his past against him. The worst part was that you knew you were doing it. “I’m going to fuck you one this couch.” He spoke. His words slipped cooly from his lips. As if he told you he was thirsty or need a bathroom break.

Heat slammed straight to your core. You knew you were going to fuck him, but it felt better if you told yourself not to, to make it seem like you used your self-control, even though you didn’t.

Shocked, you didn’t move or say anything, you just let him do what he wanted. The reality of his words hit you. Wonho never crossed your mind with him, never. You were going to fuck him like you did in high school. And you were excited.

You leaned back onto the side of the couch, Sicheng crawling and closer and closer to your lips. You tried not to act like you wanted it. But you knew if he said stop he would. Leaving inches between your curious faces, a slow smirk smoothed over his face. His parted lips rammed against yours in a frenzied kiss. His warm lips moving quickly and seductively, just like you remembered. His hands pushed your waist down into the couch, grabbing on to the sides of your love handles and pulling you over him.

The familiarity of the scene took over. You on his lap, over his jean-clad body, his hands gripping your ass. Your tongues dancing to the beat of the rain that pattered outside.

Slowing down, the kisses became sloppier, tongue melting each other like it was second nature. Sicheng made sure you knew he was his, and that you were to do what he said form the moment you first met him, and you weren’t going to question it now.

Soft moans filled his mouth as he bit down on your lip, your hands coming up to cup his face. Your soft fingers tracing along his Adam's apple. He got more handsome with time. He was irresistible now.

His hands reached for your shirt, peeling the red uniform off your hot body and desperately.

His lips soon attacked your neck, probing your collarbone with his skillful tongue. Flat against your stomach as they slowly move lower and lower to your jean zipper. The slow anticipation of the zipper being pulled down excited you. You moaned at his action, warping your arms around his head and pulling him closer. He pulled them down forcibly, letting the pull at your thighs, before reaching for his own shirt, and pulling it off his body.

He had a small build. Small, muscular, skinny, and hot. Your skin was flush against his like it used to be. He met your lips with one more frenzied kiss. “You want me so bad, don’t you?” Sicheng’s voice was gruff, asking a question he had already known the answer too.

You didn’t say anything, you just let him kiss you, knowing that saying anything would further admit you were doing something bad. He chuckled, his warm hand clutched your ass and smirking. “Do you?” He asked once more, waiting for an answer.

“Y-yes, Sicheng.”

His slender fingers, slowly climbed the surface of your thighs, reaching for the hem of your thin thong. You watched him, your eyes tracing the sight of his digits. But all he did was toy with the material, bringing your lips into another kiss. It was as if he was addicted to it. Never getting enough of the sensation your touch gave.

“Sicheng.” You moaned shamelessly, “What are you doing?” There was a growing desire in your underwear, unbearable to keep there. “Touch me.”

Without another word he dragged the material down your legs, watching as they bunched up at your jeans. His gaze flickered to the door and then back at you, pushing you off of him and back down on the therapy couch. With your back against the soft cushions, he finished his job. Slowly pulling the two articles further down your legs until they were completely off, leaving you still in your bra and vans sneaker.

He spread your thighs wide, sifting his body onto the ground as he became eye level with your core.

“You’re just as pretty as I remember,” He gushed. And then slowly he pushed his finger inside of you, testing the waters as he got no reaction from you. A small chuckle leaving his lips as saw your reactions. He slipped a second finger in, your eyes shutting tightly at the new sensation. And gradually, he thrusts harder into you.

“Faster…” You groaned softly, steadying your breathing.

“Sweetheart, you’re making a mess,” He snickered his voice only used to tease and mock you as you begged for him to speed up. He wanted to be in charge today. He wanted to take back his power. “You’re dripping down my hand.”

And then out of nowhere, as if he couldn’t contain himself, his lips wrapped around your clit sucking it harder. His fingers worked skillfully in you, as he his mouth worked to ravage through your folds. Hyper-aware of the feeling— you let out a high pitched moan, your hands flying to Sicheng’s hair and pushing him closer into you.

He did his best to lap all the juices that leaked from you and continued to stimulate every part of your body he could. His tongue shot into your clit, flicking and sucking on the sensitive nub, before taking long kitty licks over it.

“Sicheng!” You gasped. “I want you so badly.” You whispered a twinge of sadness in your voice. But he didn’t pay mind to you, he continued thrusting his fingers in and out of you. Curling them to reach your sweet spot.

Sicheng was always a private person. He didn’t like being touched in public, he had trouble accepting compliments, he was always awkward when he met new people, but there was something about him that drew people in. Everyone wanted to be closer to him. When you knew him he wasn’t shy, he was WinWin.

“One moment sweetheart.” He didn’t say it with an ounce of seductivity. He said it like you were a conventional couple.

He pulled his fingers from you, wet and shiny from your wetness and reached for his belt. Messily unbuckling it and unzipping his jeans in haste. He didn’t try to take them off yet, he simply went back to your clit apply pressure with the pad of his thumb over the nub.

As if the pressure wasn't enough, he pressed harder, you brought your hand in front of your mouth, screaming into it to lessen the noise you would make. You weren’t sure if it was that hot in the room or it was Sicheng, pleasuring you to the point that your body felt hot all over.

He had inescapably gotten better from when you last did this.

“Are you close Sweetheart,” He chimed, your breath betraying you, desperately gasping for air. He looked up at you, his finger inside of you and his face shiny and wet. Your hand fisted his hair, nodding at him feeling yourself reach the breaking point. “I’m already close Sicheng.” You admitted, just above a whisper, not having the energy to say anything louder. You knew this was wrong. You knew the whole time.

“Wait till I’m inside of you.” His deep voice ordered you, sounding octaves lower at that moment. His voice alone was something any girl would dream about. It was deep, dreamy, and always sounding incredibly gruff. Like a rising storm, his voice would always do wonders for the people he talked too. It was torturous.

You were becoming undone in front of Sicheng, your patient, and had no way to stop it. It was a powerless moment, but you liked the feeling. “Do it now.” You warned him, wanting him to fuck you before you changed your mind.

He pulled his hand away from you, sucking his fingers clean before reaching his back pocket and pulling a golden packed out. It was almost as if he knew that he was going to do this the whole time. That he somehow planned that he was going to fuck you.

You had remembered how big he was, surprisingly slow he wasn’t as small as people thought. He was thick and moderately sized. Your perfect size. He stood up. Pulling his pants further down his legs until they pooled at his shins. Underneath you could see his painfully hard member inside of his white boxers briefs. And he was big, just like you remembered.

You were already laid down on the couch, your back resting on the outside arm.

“Are you excited?” He asked, his eyes gleaming with mischievous as he asked the question with a smile on his face. You rolled your eyes at him. Seeing him rip the packet open and roll the rubber material over his hard member. And to be frank, you were excited.

Maybe it was the way you were always pulled together, or because you wanted to get Wonho out of your mind. It could even be that you had a little crisis thinking about the future. But one thing remained true, it wasn’t a maybe, it wasn’t a question. You wanted Sicheng.

With the condom on, he slowly lowered himself onto the couch, settling between your legs and getting ready for his entrance.

He gripped your waist with his hands, pushing you into the couch, reaching his over hand to line him up with you. He pressed his lips to yours, hungry and passionate. And then all at once, he thrust into you once.

You whined. Your arms tangling around his neck and pulling him into your nape. “Oh my god.” You whimpered, the feeling of guilt and pleasure filling your stomach.

Staying in that position before he made any further movements, he groaned at the feeling of him inside you. Finally getting what he wanted so many times before. You felt like home.

He leaned his head back gripping your waist as he began to thrust into you. He filled you well, creating butterflies in your stomach as his cock throbbed inside you. He thrust harder and harder, picking up speed and pressing kisses to your lips.

He never truly moaned, there were just groans. Deep, guttural groans that came from the back of his throat. You felt your body arch into his body, feeling the pressure build up inside of you and the tingling throughout your body. Starting at your ankles and rising all the way to your head until your entire body was enveloped in pleasure.

His digit rubbed circles over your clit, watching your face contort into different emotions as you took to different actions at once.

And somehow his actions contributed into one big feeling, too much for you to take at that moment.

“I touched myself last night thinking of you,” He whispered into your ear, prompting a whimper to leave your lips. “What a shame.” He pushed his head into the nape of your neck as a frenzy of groans left his mouth. “That you couldn’t help me then.”

He rubbed painfully fast circles on your clit, and you screamed. You screamed so loud you were sure someone could hear.

“Sicheng,” his name left your parted lips. “I’m—”

And then you came. A low wave, a feeling of relief wash over you. Your hands tugged on his brown hair, knotting your fingers in his roots and moaning. And he rubbed against your g-spot each time without ever missing. He felt so good.

He felt your cum on his cock, grunting at the new lubricant he could use to make you come again. “Forgive me.” He bit his lip. “But you’re coming again.”

You nodded perilously, letting him slip out of you, the veins protruding from his hot, hard cock as you watched him sit back down on the couch. “Ride me, princess,” he encouraged.

Following his instructions you slowly got to your knees shuffling your way over to his lap, swinging your knee over him. You gazed at him, your hand reaching for your jaw and holding it gently. He smiled softly, lining himself up with you and letting you sink down onto him.

He gripped your waist, helping you move up and down on his shaft. He threw his head back and moaned, for the first time in forever. His head came slingshotting back into your neck lost completely in a lustful haze. Yours groaned yourself, letting his cock hit you in every place possible. “You’ve had practice.” He mumbled on your collarbone, slamming his hips up to yours, causing you to shriek. “With who?”

“It doesn't matter,” you whispered.

And it didn’t, because Sicheng wasn’t in your life for four years, but somehow he felt like it did. He didn’t like the idea of someone touching you, regardless if he wasn’t around and he didn’t care for you at the time. “You just feel so good,” you whimpered tears welling in the corners of your eyes from pleasure.

Each crack of his hips became harder and harder. There was silence between you. Only the rain and the sounds of your skin meeting. And at every thrust, another shot of pleasure was pushed into you, more tingling, more burning, more moans. “Go faster,” He whispered.

And with a snap, you both fucked on the couch harder than you had ever ridden someone before. The moans from both of your getting louder and more panicked, your hands gripping every part of each others body. His tip rammed in and out of you, the tip of his length hitting against your cervix with every movement.

Without warning, you yelped.

“Sicheng!” Your legs shook violently around him,, your walls pulsing as Sicheng held your body into his chest, he followed your path. His breathing becoming ragged and warnings leaving his mouth.

“Baby, I’m going to come.” He groaned before ramming into your harder than he had previously.

This was more than just sex. Although you knew it was wrong and it was of that… just sex. It still wasn’t. You had somehow known that he would end up happening. You felt as if maybe Sicheng was the missing puzzle piece in your puzzle. But if that was true, why did the cosmos insist on making it so hard to be together. Your actions would have consequences, but at that moment you didn’t care. Because you wanted him so bad.

Sicheng grabbed your hips, digging his trimmed nails into your love handles, surely leaving marks and groaning. Spilling his seed into the condom, he groaned, his cock becoming flaccid inside you. But you still went on, set on reaching what you had left. Your vision was blurring, your eyes closing, and your body crumbling into the man in front of you. You released.

You were sure you had created a mess over the couch, you had come two times and it felt like an insane amount. Never once had Wonho made you feel that way.

You fell off of him with a huff. Both sitting for the remainder of the session silent. It was by then you had gotten your clothes on and just sat there. It felt like forever, hearing his small breaths and gazing at his thighs. What had you done? All the years you've spent studying for this was just taken away over one stupid mistake. You knew you would regret it afterward, but you didn’t know how much. At the moment you wanted it. But oddly enough you wanted to do it again. And again, and again.

“Princess,” Sicheng whispered hoarsely his throat, looking over at you with a lazy smile on his face. “Again next session?”

You whimpered at him, tears welling in the back of your eyes. What the fuck had you done. “Sicheng we can’t.” But he looked determined this time around.

“And you won’t.” You looked up faster than you ever looked before, your neck cracking at the sheer force. You felt like crying. This wasn’t supposed to happen. “Sicheng I suggest you leave this hospital now. Seducing your Doctor? I could lock you in our maximum security for that.”

Wonho.

You and Sicheng both stood up quickly, a single tear already rolling down your red cheek. "Why were you in here when my session was—"

“Why the were you fucking her?” Wonho was twice the size of Sicheng, maybe even triple, he could kill him if he wanted to. But yet, Wonho still protected you. And you were right. This hospital was so fucked. “I’ll have your mother know that you had an episode today,” mused seriously, his eyes narrowing at him. ‘Y/N and you may have had sex, but it stops now. You’re going to be here forever.’”

It looked as if he was losing his mind again. He can feel the thread of his happiness unraveling slowly as he realized this doctor was serious. He was going to put him away right when he was getting better. He asked himself was this worth it? Were you worth it? He stood there, expression dead, his breathing slowed. He was in a trance. He opens his mouth, but not a sound comes out.

Sicheng cries with single tears falling down his face. You cry with sobbing noises and multiple coming down at once, your face wet from the salt of your own tears.

“Wonho, please don’t do this.” You whispered. “He’s happy.” You grabbed onto Sicheng’s hand.

“You broke your job code, Y/N. I’m doing you a favor.” He spat. He turned to Sicheng, a little smile coming to Hoseok’s face. “Tell me, Winwin. Was she worth it?” He had thought of that for only a couple seconds. But he already knew.

“Yes.”

You remained in tears, watching the two men face off. “Please,” you grabbed onto Wonho’s sleeve. “I’ll quit and never do it again. Just please…” You begged. “Don’t hurt him.”

But this was only the beginning, your mistakes were nowhere near done.

#sicheng smut #sicheng x reader #nctwriters #winwin x reader #winwin smut #nct smut #nct reactions #nct x reader #nct imagines

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fangwhoria · 6 years

Text

11/11/11

thank you so much to @fluffythewritingplant the god of my existence for tagging me!!

Rules: Answer 11 questions, Ask 11 questions, Tag 11 people!

okay,,,, you asked 15 questions. you even numbered all of them, so it wasnt a mistake,,,,, idk if im just supposed to pick 11 or if you just got excited of if you legitametly don’t know what 11 is,,, Either way im gonna answer all of them cuz people who are bad at math are valid and i love talking about my wip!!

1. What is your favorite part of writing?

you know that moment when youve been kicking yourself over a plothole in your wip for ages, and suddenly something just pops in your head and all the pieces fall into place? yeah. that feeling

2. Do you prefer reading or writing?

i dont have much time for either right about now, but id have to say writing only because im kind of a control freak and if im writing the story it goes the way I want it to

3. How many people have read your stuff?

not many! those of you who see my posts on here and one of my friends occasionally. im very self concious about people who can see my face reading my stuff

4. How many people irl have read your stuff?

like,,, maybe 2

5. Are there any books or movies that inspired your writing?

percy jackson made me a writer

6. How many WIPs do you have?

only one main one atm, but another has been pushing at the back of my mind for a little while, but that ones just a couple of scraps of story

7. What are some ideas you had to throw away because you just didn’t have the time to work on them?

ive nevr had to throw things out because of time, but ive had to scrap some cool things because they either didnt fit in the plot, like in one of the early versions of FYofH where Johanna was acting as a fortune teller during the time Delilah was deceased, or a year ago i really wanted to write something about fairies but i just didnt have enough ideas for that story to really develop it at the time. One day ill go back to it

8. Have you ever written any poetry? Wanna show some of your stuff?

lol i hate writing poetry with a passion, but here ill write a quick one, just for you

*ahem*

Sometimes

I want to

lie down

in the woods

and become one

with the roots

There you go! an elle original! right off the top of my head!

9. What’s your favorite line/scene you’ve ever written (several are possible of course)?

im particularly fond of this one from a couple days ago:

She felt like ice was building up inside her, starting at her heart and encasing her internal organs, then her bones, until ice was forming around her eyes and mouth and slowly covering her entire body until she was nothing but ice, an icicle previously known as Johanna.

and since im too lazy to go through my file of nice lines by elle, heres a thing i wrote at 3 am a month ago while high on cold medicine:

Shes In love with the giddess of desath beacuaes she loves biug tiddie goth gf but since she s agod they canmt be togtgher and since shes a witch he cant deie to be w her so its angsty and sad but big tiddie sun lady UInserstands the gays and is like “its okay lol”n ajnf that s hweom its endas

10. What’s your favorite quote

not really a quote but the whole song No Choir just really inspires me, ya know? like happiness doesnt have to be this big amazing complicated thing, it can be as simple as just sitting with someone you care about

11. What’s your favorite quote by someone you know?

“Knowing the surface area of this chef boyardee party hat is important because if your child has such a big brain from eating so much chef boyardee, we have to make sure the hat will fit”- my friend while she and i were giving an academic presentation. i will give no more context than that

12. What’s your favorite book?

SO MANY--- Carry On will always have a special place, as well as Percy Jackson, and i LOVE the Raven Cycle SO MUCH and miss peregrines is super wild but soooo my aesthetic

13. Which book do you regret reading?

looking for alaska by john green

14. Is there something you regret writing?

i dont regret anything iveever written. they were all learning experiences that were essential tomaking me a better writer.

Okay maybe i regret that lams college au just a little

15. If your OC’s were actual people in your life, what would your relationship be like?

they would all be annoyed by me because im annoying

if you actually read all of this youre my hero

my 11 questions are to pick 11 questions from the list i just answered

tagging these absolute heroes: @lauraswritingjournal @nkta-ink @vasilisapeadarsan @inexorableblob @cawolters @kenny-d-juice @katabasiss @floortile-flowers @writer-in-drag @towaniisme @ink-on-poppies no pressure yall!

#tag game #writeblr #wip: fyofh #wip: for years or for hours #writers on tumblr #writing

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vampiresmiled · 5 years

Note

✩ kaidette

i haven’t even started it yet and i know this is gonna physically pain me … let’s go ! leggo, my eggo. update : i finished it and now i’m depresso.

DISAGREEMENTS

who is more likely to raise their voice? odette. she is a very loud human being.who threatens to leave but never actually does? typical kai antics.who actually keeps their word and leaves? if odette says she’ll leave, then she’ll leave. sorry bout it. who trashes the house? odette’s the type to throw some glasses on the floor to make a point. loud and clear !do either of them get physical? despite his history, i don’t think kai would. but odette would definitely poke at that shit to try and get a reaction from him. he’d leave. she’d be pissed. life is hard. how often do they argue/disagree? like every day, she’s her. it’s never that serious, though.who is the first to apologize? kai. she never apologizes, not even once.

SEX

who is on top? i want to preface this by saying they’ve never had sex, they never will have sex and all that is being spoken now is totally not an accurate portrayal of the future. anyways, odette rides him like a mechanical bull.who is on the bottom? kai. she pegs him, too.who has the strangest desires? probably kai. she’s not that … adventurous. for obvious reasons. any kinks? kai shutting the fuck up.who’s dominant in bed? listen. normal circumstances, not to speak ill of the dead, but – with n*c she was the more dominant party ‘cos she got them issues, we been knew. with kai, however, the trust this girl has … he can put her in a chokehold and she’d be like, haha cute. is head ever in the equation? if it wasn’t she’d leave. if so, who is better at performing it? kai. ever had sex in public? no and they never will.who moans the most? you really gonna make me out my girl like this.who leaves the most marks? odette. if she’s gonna rid herself of her morals and smash this giant man, she’s gonna make it clear he’s OFF-LIMITS. who screams the loudest? eye-who is the more experienced of the two? kai. obviously. one hundred percent. do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? no matter what she says, no matter the circumstance, it’ll always be the latter. rough or soft? depends on how pissy she is.how long do they usually last? like, way too long. send ava away to camp long. is protection used? yes, she doesn’t want another one of THOSE. does it ever get boring? probably not. they’ve known each other since they were YOUTHS, if they aren’t bored by now they never will be. where is the strangest place they’d have sex? reality.

FAMILY

do your muses plan on having children/or have children? i know kai does but with odette i am unsure ™ ! i think she’d want a kid if the opportunity presented itself, but she’d never actively plan for one.if so, how many children do your muses want/have? fucking no more than two. counting ava. who is the favorite parent? kai. like he already is.who is the authoritative parent? odette. like she already is.who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school? kai. he’s the cool dad. the funky dad. who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around? you think i’m gonna say kai ‘cos he’s more lax ? no. odette can’t cook, you think she’s gonna deprive these kids of poptarts if they so desire it ? fuck no. who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children? kai. honestly, odette can’t really be bothered ‘cos kids doing shit is … BORING. but kai would drag her along. who goes to parent teacher interviews? kai. odette threatened to beat up ava’s math teacher once and the rest is history.who changes the diapers? kai. who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby? kai. truly, he’s giving his all here folks.who spends the most time with the children? also kai. maybe odette is just a deadbeat. stay tuned for more at six.who packs their lunch boxes? please don’t make me say kai again.who gives their children ‘the talk’? definitely fucking kai. odette never got the talk herself, she just caught her mom smashing some drunk once and that’s how she was introduced to the world of sex. who cleans up after the kids? also kai.who worries the most? like about trivial shit ? kai. homework, soccer practice and what not, that’s his territory. odette worries about the social stuff. like first boyfriend, meeting new people, sending ava off to college. that’s scary. a shitty grade is not. who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from? odette, big oof.

AFFECTION

who likes to cuddle? both. but odette has a tendency to initiate it, ‘cos he’s a big ass pussy.who is the little spoon? most of the time, odette. ‘cos she’s wittle. but bad mood kai is definitely getting spooned the fuck out of.who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? * insert the lap hc i sent you many moons ago * “ what if he gets a hard-on ? ” “ she’d leave. ”who struggles to keep their hands to themself? odette. how long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable? like a good while. she’s not that affectionate in general but kai’s more like an extension of her. odette’s emotional support teddy bear, you know. who gives the most kisses? kai. what is their favourite non-sexual activity? reluctantly watching star trek and cuddling on the sofa. fuck off. if beer is involved all the better. hanging out with ava is just like a good time, too, for whatever reason. where is their favourite place to cuddle? bed. couch is very chillaxed and they hang there most often. but bed … when she sneaks into his room ‘cos hers is cold and its his fault and she puts her cold ass feet on him and wraps herself up next to him in his blanket like a wittle burrito – that’s soft antics. who is more likely to playfully grope the other? odette. how often do they get time to themselves? not that often now that ava is grounded, but otherwise, pretty often.

SLEEPING

who snores? no one, but sometimes odette.if both do, who snores the loudest? who ya think.do they share a bed or sleep separately? depends on the day.if they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? i mean, when she does sleep in his bed it is to cuddle and ‘cos they’re in a good place. but sometimes, she’s there even when she’s mad at him. so, really, it’s fifty/fifty. okay, more like eighty/twenty. who talks in their sleep? neither.what do they wear to bed? she snags his shirts, might as well be nightgowns the length of them. when he knows she’ll be in there he is clothed, and by clothed i mean pjs and a tee. when he doesn’t, he’s just all about freeing the nipple. she prefers the latter but you didn’t hear it from me. are either of your muses insomniacs? i feel like kai has some issues sleeping. and odette, to a degree. she will wake him up for late night convos which mostly are just whining and her poking fun at him. sometimes it gets deep and borderline ‘ what if ’ … she pretends it never happened in the morn. can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? they’re kais, odette likes them with her wine.do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? side by side. who wakes up with bed hair? both.who wakes up first? kai, no doubt.who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? also kai.what is their favourite sleeping position? she likes being the little spoon. she also likes having her head on his chest with him holding her like the small baby she is. who hogs the sheets? odette.do they set an alarm each night? kai does. can a television be found in their bedroom? nope. it’s they-time. i say as if it isn’t his bedroom. truth is, they’re too poor for it.who has nightmares? not so much anymore but odette. who has ridiculous dreams? i feel like kai doesn’t dream. he’s too grounded for it.who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? odette. which is impossible ‘cos she’s a baby.who makes the bed? kai, ‘cos it’s his.what time is bed time? whenever odette crawls in there.any routines/rituals before bed? not that i can think of. check back again in 3-4 business days.who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? odette, no doubt in my mind. she’s always pissy. more so in the morning, though.

WORK

who is the busiest? kai, probably. but his schedule is also more predictable than hers, so.who rakes in the highest income? odette. breadwinner right there.are any of your muses unemployed? nope.who takes the most sick days? no one. odette’s got a tendency to skip shit ‘cos she’s lazy but when she’s sick she powers through ‘cos she’s not WEAK.who is more likely to turn up late to work? odette.who sucks up to their boss? kai.what are their jobs? he’s a nurse bitch and she’s a bounty-hunter. in connecticut. yeah, that pays … who stresses the most? kai, probably.do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? i think they both enjoy them.are your muses financially stable? hell no.

HOME

who does the washing? kai, he’s so powerful.who takes out the trash? kai.who does the ironing? kai.who does the cooking? kai.who is more likely to burn the house down just trying? odette ! it’s a wonder she hasn’t already in my opinion.who is messier? odette. literally … without him and ava she’d be lost. who leaves the toilet roll empty? odette. she’s just a fantastic roommate, isn’t she.who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? also odette.who forgets to flush the toilet? ava.who is the prankster around the house? kai’s more fun but odette likes to mess with him. pranks are a-okay if she started them, but don’t you dare put flour in her blowdryer unprompted. who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? odette, every single time. kai has an extra set of keys for literally everything.who mows the lawn? apartment people.who answers the telephone? kai. odette pretends she doesn’t hear it ringing.who does the vacuuming? kai.who does the groceries? also kai.who takes the longest to shower? still kai, m’dude. who spends the most time in the bathroom? the answer might surprise you … it’s kai. odette takes ten minute showers and blowdries her hair and then she’s out the door. kai takes styling his hair very seriously. it’s an art form ! and also he shaves and gets hair everywhere which adds like 15 minutes.

MISCELLANEOUS

is money a problem? more like is money ever NOT a problem. they figure it out, though, but shit’s tight. so no skateboards for the kids.how many cars do they own? used to be one before they got to town. now they got two. good for them.do they own their home or do they rent? rent.do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? literally i don’t know where sheffield is stop asking me this.do they live in the city or in the country? downtown apartment.do they enjoy their surroundings? no, they miss california and they really have got no reason to stay except ava’s inevitable bitching if they move again. what’s their song? rocket man by elton john. no one but luna gets to know the story.what do they do when they’re away from each other? odette got no hobbies and honestly, does kai ? so nothing. they do too much together. odette hangs out with jack and emma but that’s literally it. where did they first meet? the streets ™ honestly, i dunno. probably some youthful hangout underneath a bridge in chino. there was a burn barrel, kids were doing coke and they bonded. how did they first meet? is that not the same as the first question. they met being homeless and annoying. odette thought he was too tall and he thought she was too bitchy. the rest is history.who spends the most money when out shopping? odette. she’s cheap, but she also has no concept of money. she throws dollar bills at walmart like it was a strip club. who’s more likely to flash their assets? neither. they were homeless and in the foster care, they don’t like braggarts and the rich. who finds it amusing when the other trips over? odette laughs every single time. sometimes she trips him, she’s mature like that.any mental issues? too many to count.who’s terrified of bugs? i feel like odette has a distaste for them but she doesn’t really give an f. kai doesn’t like spiders, though. she likes getting those toy ones on halloween and put them in his bed. who kills the spiders around the house? odette because : see above. their favourite place? his shitty car. sometimes they ride around and do fuck-all, like they’re back to their youth. sometimes they sit in the front-seat, parked on some remote spot in the woods and they smoke. cool, thanks. who pays the bills? both.do they have any fears for their future? not really. they’re pretty solid, honestly. not really worrisome people at their cores. who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? kai, honestly. just ‘cos he can cook and she fucking can’t.who uses up all of the hot water? odette. her showers might be short but the water’s scorching. if it doesn’t burn the skin off her body, she doesn’t want it.who’s the tallest? you come into my home … who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other? we have never encountered this scenario before and we absolutely will not, ever, ever, ever. but odette 110%. who wanders around in their underwear? odette. and i’m not sorry about it.who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? kai * cue the scene in the last song w miley & liam *what do they tease each other about? everything. nothing’s off limits which is absolutely stupid as hell. i mean, obviously they don’t mention ~ the things ~ but, a lot of it has to do with parenting techniques and their past as street rats. odette likes to mock his height, he tries to do the same but she smacks him when he does. who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? odette. she wears like neutrals and blacks, there’s nothing to make fun of. kai on the other hand …do they have mutual friends? do emma and jack really count ?who crushed first? you want me to say kai but odette is the truth, so back the fuck off.any alcohol or substance related problems? i mean … they both got their respective histories and that’s messy and odette really can’t handle her liquor sometimes but they got it under control, thanks.who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? odette, duh.who swears the most? this is not a question i will validate with a response.

#all posts / oa.#starring malachai / oa.#answered / oa.#ask #soulsbled

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thaliasbooks · 7 years

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Never Eighteen (Review)

Title: Never Eighteen

Series: N/A

Author: Megan Bostic

Publication: 2012

Rating: ★★

Summary: Austin Parker is on a journey to bring truth, beauty, and meaning to his life. Austin Parker is never going to see his eighteenth birthday. At the rate he’s going, he probably won’t even see the end of the year. The doctors say his chances of surviving are slim to none even with treatment, so he’s decided it’s time to let go. But before he goes, Austin wants to mend the broken fences in his life. So with the help of his best friend, Kaylee, Austin visits every person in his life who touched him in a special way. He journeys to places he’s loved and those he’s never seen. And what starts as a way to say goodbye turns into a personal journey that brings love, acceptance, and meaning to Austin’s life.

Review: I only read a handful of books this year, and most of those were rereads of things I already knew I loved. This was one of two or three books I read which were new to me, and can I just say that it’s books like this that drove away my love of reading in the first place? I have been struggling since I graduated from college to find my passion for literature again, specifically young adult literature, and it’s so difficult to regain that when it feels like the majority of books I take a chance on end up being boring and terrible.

Never Eighteen seemed like it could be a quick and uplifting read—it’s obvious from the description that our main character, Austin, doesn’t have a lot of time because of some unexplained terminal illness, but that doesn’t necessarily mean this couldn’t be inspiring and heart-warming. Unfortunately, a book like this makes all the Hallmark Christmas movies I’ve been binge-watching look like Oscar winners. There was nothing even slightly likeable about Austin or even his best friend, Kaylee, and certainly nothing Austin did or said to anyone else made me feel even slightly sorry for him. It was cliché and convenient, an unsavory combination when it comes to reading.

What I Liked: Spoilers!

All I can really say here is that it passed the one-star test; that is, it didn’t make me so furious that I was fuming by the time I finished reading it, and it wasn’t written so horrendously that it was laughably funny. It just kind of was, which isn’t a great thing for a book to be. For me, apathy usually translates to a two- or three-star read because I just can’t drum up enough emotion to even dislike it enough for anything less. This wasn’t on the list of worst books I’ve ever read, and that’s really the biggest compliment I can offer.

What I Didn’t Like:

Austin’s relationship with Kaylee is absolutely ridiculous. He says he’s been in love with her since they were kids, but he’s chosen to just treat her like a friend instead because he doesn’t want to lose her. The way Austin thinks about her, though, it unsettling. He takes pictures of her when she’s sleeping; he works to remember the way she looks in her pajamas; he’s constantly imagining what it would be like to kiss or touch her. These aren’t things that “just friends” think about, and while I understand that it’s difficult to turn those feelings off, his constant stream of thoughts about her drowned out everything that made me understand why they were best friends. He doesn’t think about who she is or why he loves her so much, so I never could understand why what they had was special or important. In addition to that, he’s not even kind to her; he makes her drive him around (she literally skips work to drive him places), then tells her she can’t come inside to talk with the people he visits. Midway through the story, the entire focus becomes on telling Kaylee how he feels and wondering how she’ll react—and since this is the kind of YA book that it is, of course Kaylee has always felt the same way and everything works out all hunky dory.

Austin’s visits were shallow and poorly constructed. I can’t remember exactly how many people he goes to see, but he makes a bunch of house calls during a two-day period so he can change everyone’s lives and convince them to be better than they are. This book paints people who have experienced any kind of tragedy as hermits, unwilling and unable to make anything of themselves. Austin, our hero, traipses into their homes, reminds them of everything that hurts them, then casually tells them it’s time to either move on or get help. His biggest selling point is that they should feel guilty for wasting their lives because he’s going to die. These people spill their inner-most demons to this guy they’ve barely talked to in years, and I guess his little spiel is enough to mend every hurt they’ve ever had? Bostic tried to cram every terrible thing that could ever happen to anyone into this novel (sometimes several things in one character), which overloaded the characters and made them very unsympathetic. I don’t believe in playing lightly with topics like rape, drug addition, etc, but these were all merely plot devices in Austin’s “save the world” journey.

The chronology of this book makes absolutely no sense. In one day, Austin and Kaylee visit four or five people, go to the country fair (rides, food, the whole shebang), drive to Seattle, eat dinner, drive home, then go visit some more people. There’s just no way. This was a poorly mapped out weekend that sure had to be longer than a weekend. In addition, I still hate present tense writing as much as I ever had. In case you didn’t see this coming, Austin does indeed die at the end of the book, but never fear! Just because the story is written in first person present tense from Austin’s point of view doesn’t mean the story’s going to end. Nope, no worries because it just continues from the third person as Kaylee deals with her grief over losing her one true love. If you’re going to write in first person present tense, please just commit to it and finish your story with your narrator.

Overall: I didn’t have many great things to say here, but it simply didn’t fire me up enough to write a one-star review. If you’re looking for something meaningful and engaging about death and mortality, there are plenty of other books you could read that deal with these issues in a real, authentic way. Nothing about Never Eighteen was real or authentic, but rather overly convenient and cliché. It’s not one I’d recommend, unless you’re some kind of glutton for punishment.

#never eighteen #never eighteen review #megan bostic #book #books #read #reading #book review #review

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tyson-berry-blog · 7 years

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Alexander Wennberg #1 - Languages

Anon asked: Hi! Can u please write an Alexander Wennberg imagine of how y/n used to live in California and she's Hispanic and she misses being able to talk in Spanish with others but in Columbus she doesn't have that opportunity so Alex being the great bf he is, he learns how to speak Spanish and surprises her during dinner and can it be fluffy and cute! Thanks!

So first off I feel like I need to include a disclaimer that I by no means speak Spanish. I want to apologize in advance for any incorrect grammar or punctuation in the translation. That being said I included the English equivalent to the Spanish sentences with what I am trying to have the dialogue say at the bottom. This was a super fun prompt anon and I am super glad you suggested it!

You were in the middle of a conversation with your mom on a Sunday night and felt the ache of homesickness growing in your chest. Well you didn’t know if you could call it homesickness since California hadn’t been your home for some time. Once you had finished up college and gotten your degree, you had been presented with a once in a lifetime job opportunity. The only issue had been that you’d have to leave California and move almost clear across the country to Columbus, Ohio. You had weighed the pros and cons and the job was just too good to pass up. Columbus had its perks of course: the people were friendly, your boss was amazing and you’d met your current boyfriend Alexander Wennberg while getting drinks with your coworkers.

He had been adorable and stuttered through what you assumed was an ill-advised pickup line based on the people you assumed were his friends clearly goading him on. Eventually someone you would learn to be named William helped clear up the miscommunication. While they waited expectantly for your response you panicked and slipped into Spanish, “Lo siento, no hablo inglés.”

Alexander’s face furrowed in confusion and your coworkers couldn’t contain their laughter.

His friend William came to him defense, “look if you weren’t interested you should have just said so.”

They turned to go and you had hurried after them, “sorry, I’m so sorry. You caught me completely off guard and everyone was looking at me and…” you trailed off.

The two boys looked at each other and exchanged a few words in what sounded like Swedish. Alexander turned back to you, “I am sorry I cornered you.”

“Alex isn’t normally like this,” William added, “we kind of convinced him to come over here.”

“So he isn’t actually interested?” you folded your arms across your chest, “this was some sort of prank? I feel like I should be the ones yelling at you instead of you accusing me.”

Alex’s eyes widened, “No, no, no. I really wanted to talk to you but I was too nervous.”

William clapped Alexander on the shoulder, “I’m going to let you sort this out dude.”

You watched him walk back to the group of boys in the corner of the bar. When you looked back at Alex he was already looking at you. The two of you stood there awkwardly until you jutted your thumb towards the exit.

His eyes widened, “just thought we could talk somewhere quieter,” you hastily explained.

He nodded and followed you out of the bar to the sound of wolf whistles from your friends or his you weren’t sure. It was significantly quieter outside but enough people were milling around that you didn’t feel uncomfortable being with a virtual stranger. You found a vacant bench to sit on and neither of you said anything until Alex blurted, “do you like hockey?”

You were surprised by the seemingly randomness of the question but went with it, “I’m not against it but I’ve never been a big fan. It’s not a big sport where I live.” “Do you not live here in Columbus?”

“No I-” you stopped yourself. You had to remind yourself the move here had been permanent. It had only been a few weeks since you moved but subconsciously you still referred to California as your home.

You quickly regrouped, “I’m not from here originally.”

“Where are you from?”

“California.”

“I know they have hockey in California,” he said with a hint of teasing in his voice.

After that the conversation flowed easily and you were surprised how fast the time has escaped you. Your friends were even more surprised when they exited and found you two sitting on a bench talking. Carly waved you over and asked if you wanted to split a cab since you lived in the same apartment building. You found yourself reluctant to leave Alex but knew you’d be mad at yourself if you didn’t get a decent amount of sleep. He seemed to be in the same boat but boldly placed his phone in your hands. You pulled up a new message and sent a text to yourself. He left to rejoin his friends in the bar and you slid into the back of the cab next to Carly.

She gave you a knowing look, “I won’t ask now but don’t think we won’t get the details later.”

That first conversation with Alexander led to many more and eventually a first date that blurred into several months of dating.

That is what found you here in Alex’s apartment in the middle of a conversation with your mom. Your cousin just celebrated their seventh birthday and the whole family got together to celebrate. As much as you had wanted to be there you didn’t have the funds to fly out to every family gathering. You zoned out as you watched the cars race by in the city below and it was only your mother’s voice raising a tad too loud that brought you back, “¿Hola? ¿Tú allí?”

“Sí mamá, estoy aquí. Sólo se distrajo.”

She laughed, “Ya veo. Si necesitas ir ...”

“No estoy aquí,” you rushed to assure her.

“¿Está todo bien? ¿Necesitas hablar de ello?” the worry was evident in her voice.

Your voice cracked and you willed away the tears, “Estoy bien. Lo prometo.”

“¿Es ese chico? ¿No te está tratando bien?

“No mamá. Alexander es genial,” you didn’t want her thinking Alex was anything but a perfect gentleman.

“¿Trabajar entonces? ¿No te gusta?”

Her soothing tone only added to the uncomfortable feeling in your stomach, “El trabajo es una gran mamá.”

You heard Alex finishing up dinner and hurried to finish the conversation before he came in wondering what was taking so long.

“Mamá tengo que irme. Te amo y te llamaré más tarde esta semana. ¿Bueno?”

She sighed on the other end of the line, “Sí está bien. Te hablaré más tarde, pero llámame si ocurre algo.”

You hung up and wiped the tears from your cheeks. Alex was standing in the doorway with two plates when you turned around. He shot you a look of concern but said nothing. The two of you sat down to eat and you saw what he had made. In front of you sat slightly lopsided tamales but tamales nonetheless. You had a feeling that if you took a bite they’d be made with the same unique mix of spices your mom had always used. She liked to stand out and made sure her food did too. At this you began tearing up again.

Alex grabbed your hand that rested on the table, “Que esta mal?” he asked in terribly butchered Spanish.

You looked up at him in surprise, “what did you say?”

“¿Estás bien?” he asked with slightly more confidence.

When your face didn’t change he faltered and switched back into English, “sorry. Did I say it wrong? Are you okay?”

Your face softened, “oh no Alex. You said it perfectly. Well I mean the pronunciation wasn’t completely right but…” you trailed off, “what I mean is, where did you learn to say that?”

“Well you seemed sad lately and I thought maybe I did something, then I thought about how you seem so much happier when you’re on the phone with your family and you only speak Spanish with them so I just thought,” he shrugged and turned back to his food, “I’m sorry. It was dumb.”

You grabbed the hand he had pulled away, “no, Alex, no. Wow, no.”

“Sure were a lot of nos.”

“It was not dumb. It was incredibly sweet that you’re trying to learn a whole new language for me. When did you start learning?”

He turned his hand over so you could weave your fingers together, “after our fifth month anniversary. I called your mom to ask for your favorite recipe and since she had to translate it into English for me I decided I wanted to learn Spanish. I want to be able to communicate with your family. They’re very important to you and you’re important to me.”

“Alright,” you smiled, “show me what you’ve got.”

He nodded, “Hola, mi nombre es Alex.”

You rolled your eyes, “Eso fue demasiado fácil.”

He paused to think for a moment before a smirk graced his face, “Eres la persona más maravillosa que he conocido y estoy muy agradecida de haberte conocido.”

You were struck speechless. Though his pronunciation obviously needed work you understood the sentiment behind the words and found yourself unable to speak around the lump in your throat. He took your silence this time as a win and brought your entwined hands to his lips and kissed the back of your hand. You coughed and willed the blush on your face to go away. The rest of dinner was spent exchanging conversation in a mix of English and Spanish and you mentally vowed to try to pick up Swedish.

Translation:

· Lo siento, no hablo inglés = I’m sorry. I don’t speak English.

· Hola? ¿Tú allí? = Hello? You there?

· Sí mamá, estoy aquí. Sólo se distrajo. = Yes mom, I’m here. Just distracted.

· Ya veo. Si necesitas ir… = I see. If you need to go…

· No estoy aquí = No I’m here.

· ¿Está todo bien? ¿Necesitas hablar de ello. = Everything alright? Do you need to talk about it?

· Estoy bien. Lo prometo. = I’m fine. I promise.

· ¿Es ese chico? ¿No te está tratando bien? = Is it that boy? Is he not treating you well?

· No mamá. Alexander es genial. = No mom. Alex is great.

· ¿Trabajar entonces? ¿No te gusta? = Work then? Do you not like it?

· El trabajo es una gran mama = work is great mom

· Mamá tengo que irme. Te amo y te llamaré más tarde esta semana. ¿Bueno? = Mom, I have to go. I love you and will call you later this week. Okay?

· Sí está bien. Te hablaré más tarde, pero llámame si ocurre algo. = It’s okay. I’ll talk to you later, but call me if something happens.

· Que esta mal? = Is something wrong?

· ¿Estás bien? = You okay?

· Hola, mi nombre es Alex. = Hello my name is Alex.

· Eso fue demasiado fácil. = That was too easy.

· Eres la persona más maravillosa que he conocido y estoy muy agradecida de haberte conocido. = You’re the most wonderful person I have ever met and I am so grateful to have met you.

#alexander wennberg imagine #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #hockey imagines #columbus blue jackets imagine #alexander wennberg #columbus blue jackets

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seoulmate-fics · 7 years

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Promises - Rap Monster (BTS)

Prompt: Rap Monster, your childhood friend finally meets with you after many years. But after seeing you once again, feelings start to change and memories start to become something you’d never expect.

genre: angst

word count: 2957

“You’re addictive, just like nicotine.”

Seven years.

Seven years of watching the love of your life feel more and more distant from you with every step.

84 months of being by your side no matter what, even when everything turned into turmoil.

2,555 days of barely seeing them smile no matter what you did or how much you loved them, despite not having the same feelings back.

That’s how it felt for Kim Namjoon. The boy who grew up into the genius of a man that you know today. He loved you like no other, took care of you like no one else could.

When your grandmother passed away due to illness, it seemed like there was nobody else there next to you. Your parents were divorced at the time. Your mom? Always working. Your dad? Always gambling and drinking, always seen with other women. But you? You were an only child who relied on only yourself up until the day you met Namjoon. You had never opened up to anybody. On rare occasions you would vent about something small to him but nothing major. He knew about your living situation and the way that only your grandmother took care of you. But he never felt like he was in the right place whenever he saw you crying. He never felt up to that level. That is.. Until he finally saw you again.

You were now 21 years old. You were in your third year of college, trying to major in communications. Like every other typical student in university, you were stressed out of your mind. Sleepless nights, constant deprivation of coffee and vitamins; it seemed like nothing would fix your situation. You were already taking medication for the anxiety and depression you’ve been dealing with for the past couple of years. Midterm season was your biggest enemy. Of course, you still vent to Namjoon, despite taking different career paths. He too had to deal with sleepless nights. Constant bickering with the members of BTS when it came to practices and some fans interrogating him here and there.

After a few lonely years, you two were able to have a decent conversation on the phone that didn't involve distractions from the world around. You called him within the brief hour of midnight, right after you finished studying and after he finished working in the studio. He saw your familiar name and picked up after three impatient rings.

“Hello?” he tried to not sound too excited to finally hear your voice after so long.

“Hey Namjoon, I know it's been a while but I've been meaning to call you. I know I've been lagging on it but.. hey.”

At first, it felt awkward since you two were only about sending texts every now and then. But he missed the gentle sound and tone of your voice.

You could hear his soft chuckle under his breath, “what's up Y/N? How ya been?”

“Oh you know later, typical college kid stuff. How's being an idol?”

“It has its moments. Have you been doing okay?”

And you knew what he meant by that.

“I'm fine. Just dealing with it. But uh.. I wanted to call you to ask you about something.”

His heart pounded, “yeah what's up?”

“Well, my birthday is coming up soon so I planned on having a little party to celebrate. Plus it's the end of my midterms so that's another reason.”

Of course he would never forget your birthday. He was more than ecstatic to be able to see you again.

“Sure, when and where?”

“It'll be at my place. Next Saturday at around 8? No one is going to be there that early but you know.”

You didn't expect him to give you a sure answer. He probably had a show or a performance or anything important to his career that he had to deal with.

“But if you're too tired it's alright.”

“I'll try to make it. I miss you I haven't seen you in forever.”

You smiled, “I miss you too! I can't wait to see the day where we can meet again.”

“Same with you.”

You heard his manager through the call, “Namjoon, we have to be in Gwangju for a rehearsal tomorrow morning. Get some rest.

He sighed, “Well that's my cue. I'm sure we both need to sleep. It was nice talking to you Y/N. Your voice is still as dorky as before.”

You tensed up, “hey! You're one to talk! I've seen your videos! You're the dork here!”

He smiled, “Sure sure. I'll talk to you later. Goodnight and sweet dreams Y/N.”

You smiled on your end, “goodnight Namjoon! Sweet dreams!”

Neither of you wanted to hang up the phone but you were both exhausted. You fell asleep with your phone by your side and your heart feeling a little at peace even with all the cracks in it.

Next Saturday 11:46 PM

You were having the time of your life. You were finally 22 and the end of midterms had come. Your vacation was arriving soon and you were ready to relax. But as of the moment, you definitely not relaxed. Shots of vodka were poured down your throat as your friends cheered you on from all around you. With the music blasting loud and everyone enjoying their time, you couldn't feel any sort of disappointment. Until, there was this fellow who suddenly came up to you. He was also quite intoxicated and wanted to get a little more out of this party then just to drink. You weren't really friends with him, he was just a friend of your roommate but you didn't know him too well. He threw his arm around you and pulled you in close.

“Wow Y/N I didn't know you were such a lightweight!.”

You were always busy with either work or school, it's not like you even had time to drink.

“Oh hey Hyun~ how are you feeling about the party? Having fun?” you slurred.

He chuckled, “it seems like you sure are.”

“Well yeah! It's my party why wouldn't I?”

He gave you these seductive eyes, biting his lip at how attractive you looked.

“You know Y/N.. I've always thought were a pretty cute. Especially right now..”

He grabbed you by the waist and pulled you close, “you know, I can give you a special birthday present if you want it.”

You didn't know what to say and just brushed him off with a giggle.

Then you heard someone call your name from behind the counter.

“Y/N? Is that you?”

Your face lit up from half hooded eyes and a dumb smile to an expression of excitement and nostalgia as you saw your long time friend Namjoon after so many years.

“KIM NAMJOON IS THAT YOU?”

Rap monster wasn't too popular in Korea since they were a hip hop based group but he caught the eyes of a few guests. You ran over to him, stumbled and nearly tripped, then gave him a big, tight hug. The warmth of his body was desperately needed after such a long wait to finally meet each other.

You pulled back with your hands on his shoulders, “I can't believe it's you! You made it! You're actually here!”

He couldn't help it but smile, “yeah luckily the show ended early so I was able to make it to your birthday.”

“You've had a long day! How about a shot? You HAVE to take one with me!”

Namjoon wasn't much of a drinker but there's almost nothing he wouldn't do for you.

“Okay just one. I can only stay for a little more than an hour.”

“Yay ~” you cheered happily as you poured him a drink of his choice.

He didn't take it too well. The burn of the alcohol was just one of the reasons why he doesn't drink.

“Come on Namjoon! Let's go dance!”

You pulled him away from the alcohol, getting a death glare from the boy who tried to take you away.

His body and yours were pressed against each other; as you waved your lower body against his, you could feel the heat emerge from his hands to your waist. Yes, we all knew that Rap Monster wasn't a dancer but you didn't mind it at all. You loved every little moment with him, even the crazy ones like these.

“Hey let me show you something!”

You dragged him to your room, shutting and locking the door behind you. He felt nervous, never had he been in your room alone before, you two were always out and about. You made your way to the window and opened it with a bit of a struggle but luckily it cracked open. You exhaled loudly, “wow! I can't believe we just did that! I've missed you soooo much ~”

He agreed with a laugh, “yeah, that's one way to greet each other.”

He watched as the wind blew your hair out of your face, the soft caress of the breeze against your skin made his heart stop. Even now, he still saw you as the same girl who stole his heart years ago.

And yet, just as he was about to sit next to you, he saw you pull a cigarette and lighter from underneath a pillow. A shaky breath of air left his lungs while you inhaled tobacco into yours.

“Y/N.. what are you doing?” He asked with his voice full of worry.

“Oh..” You chuckled half-heartedly, “it's a cigarette.. you want a hit?”

He walked over to you with distraught in his steps. “Y/N.. why are you smoking?”

You scoffed, “well... I've been smoking for a few months now.. ever since the stress started piling up more and more I just needed something to keep me sane for once.”

He could tell in your tone that you were sobering up from the nicotine.

“You know.. you can always tell me whatever you need to let out.. anything.”

You knew that smoking was never a good option to try to relieve all the pains that you've been keeping in. And you hated to have your best friend see this side of you.

“I'm sorry Namjoon, maybe you should've have come. That way you wouldn't have to deal with me right now.”

His heart sank into his chest, “Y/N.. please don't say that. I've missed you so much and I don't care how you are, I'll always want to see you.”

There was a silence in the room. You took another hit.

“Oh yeah? The girl you had to take care of so much is now wasted and smoking cigarettes. She can't afford to pay rent and gas but she can still spend a $5 on a measly pack of cigarettes. She's failing two of her six classes and she's about to get fired from her job. Definitely worth seeing.”

Namjoon sighed deeply.

“Namjoon, I understand if you don't want to stay. I know you need to leave and go be an idol. You don't have time to take care of someone like me.”

Hearing all of those words come out of your mouth made him restless. He was happy that you were venting to him like you used to but he was so scared to see how you'd react. But he didn't even know why seeing you in pain was something he feared.

“Look Y/N-”

“No Namjoon. Look I'm sorry for making you come all this way just to see me like this even though I should be happy..” You let out a trembling sigh as tears started to form. Your voice began to break, “this.. it's my birthday and yet I still feel as broken as ever. I still feel like the same little girl who always cried whenever she came home because her grandmother was no longer there to make her smile. Her parents were no longer together. And she was suddenly losing everyone she held close.”

“You still have me Y/N.”

“Okay and then what? You're going to forget me just like everyone else. You're going to leave and be a big idol. We'll talk less and less and soon I'll just be another fan while you become more and more successful with every breath you take.”

“Y/N I'm not going to forget you-”

“And how can you promise that Namjoon?!”

His eyes grew big in fear. You have never raised your voice at him like this. Your tears were falling harder and harder.

“It's because.. “ He sighed hesitantly.

“Because what? Because you don't think I'll remember any of the promises we made?”

His heart struck with pain and heartbreak every time you grew more upset.

He looked away from you and you felt ashamed of yourself.

“I know.. that you probably won't remember this because you're either too intoxicated or maybe you don't even want to hear it but..”

You felt your skin crawling with anxiety as you were suddenly overthinking the situation, scared of what he was going to say.

He looked up and gazed into your eyes, “Y/N.. I have always been in love with you ever since you first smiled at me. I've been wanting to keep that smile on your face ever since then. That's why I was too scared to ask what was wrong. I was too scared to throwing away our friendship if I said one wrong thing. But now that I see you like this.. I've never been so scared to lose you in my entire life.”

You felt and ache in your chest, a deepening in the cracks of your heart.

“You are the most amazing person in the world. Even through all of the pain and suffering I still see you try your hardest. You're brave Y/N. You're not weak. You've never been weak. I told you a long time ago that I would protect you no matter what happens.. and I'm definitely not stopping now.”

You couldn't believe the words that came from his heart and mind. He was always there for you but you never realize how much of him was there. You hated so much of yourself and yet he loved every scar, every mistake that you had because he knew that there's never going to be another person like you.

You put out the cigarette and felt your body weaken and shake. Namjoon couldn't bear to see you in this state and pulled you close to him, allowing you to rest on his chest. His shirt began to get wet from your tears but he didn't mind it at all. In fact, he loved it, because you were now opening up to him. Once again, the heat migrated from his body to yours. You wanted to keep him close.

You started brushing your lips against the skin of his collarbones and made your way up to his neck.

“Y/N what are you doing?”

“I've really missed you Namjoon. I've missed everything about you. Your voice, your skin, your touch.”

A twisted knot formed in his chest as he felt both lust and shame.

“No we can't do this. You're drunk.”

“It'll be fine I promise~” you moaned into his ear.

He bit his lip, trying to hold back his moan as you gently bit the skin on his neck.

“What's wrong Joonie? Cat got your tongue?” You teased.

He wanted to touch you, to kiss you but he knew that it wasn't the right to do. If you two were to ever make love, this wasn't the right way to start it. He held you back and saw the tears still running down your face. His eyes widened as his thumbs softly caressed your face, wiping the tears away.

“Y/N.. I want to have our first time in a better situation. I don't want you to cry, I don't want you to be intoxicated by anything. I just want you to be you. But right now you're someone else. And I know you don't want this right now.”

You couldn't deny that he was right.

“Here, “ he lifted you onto the bed and laid you down, “a lot of people have already left the party and you need to get a lot of rest.”

He grabbed some water and handed it to you, “trust me you're going to need it.”

You smiled at this side of him that you've missed so much.

“I'm going to go clean up okay? I'll be back in a bit.”

“Namjoon wait-” You pulled on his shirt.

He looked back at you with concern.

“Please.. please don't leave me.”

He smiled and sat down next to you. He brushed the hairs out of your face and wiped away another tear from your eyes.

“I promise.. that I'll always be there for you no matter what. You're my best friend and I love every little thing about you.”

Your lips formed a soft smile as Namjoon caressed your hair.

“Why didn’t I ever notice this side of you?”

“Well..” he smiled, “hopefully you’ll notice it when you’re sober. Now just relax. I’ll come back.”

“Are you sure?”

He gazed into your eyes; slowly he leaned over and you felt a heavy beating from your heart. His lips were so close to yours, you just wanted to kiss him so bad. But he left a sweet peck on your forehead. He interlocked his pinky with yours, “I promise.”

You felt this sudden change in the atmosphere. Everything felt so sane, so calm. Your mind felt so at peace with itself. And at that moment you had realized,

“Never have I felt so safe in my life until you came along.”

#rap monster scenario #bts scenario #kpop scenario #bts rap monster scenario #kim namjoon scenario #bts kim namjoon scenario

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jessdunn18 · 8 years

Text

dennis

@drfrankenhyde Dennis was a loner and had too much time on his hands. His thoughts often got the better of him. He was 6'2 pale and built like a plump ham. His parents commented on his biggest insecurities often. His father who was the shape of a tree stump would mock his weight. His mom who was like a mix of a hobit and a tomato would mock his complexion and his stature. His dark hair and eyes made everyone assume he was goth. Nope just depressed. He had a hunched posture that he only fixed when he had to serve up burgers to the ungrateful jackwads that pissed and moaned about "too much mayo" at the "sub slammer" a hoagie shop perched between a subway and a quiznos in his food court. He remembers what he thought the first time he saw the place on his 14th birthday while he was stood between his then friends Jake and Austin. "Is this some kind of a joke" However since then the subway had gotten a few too many bad health inspections. The quiznos had been taken over by sketchy people since it was the only food court area that was open 24-7 and it was virtually made uninhabitable by us normal folks. Now he shoved out shitty knock off subs at prices that were just a dime or two under the prices and a hair or two below the quality. Literally there was a girl named libby making them whose hair was flying out like it was afraid of her scalp.

Each night Dennis went home, chucked his 4 dollar "SS" cap into the corner and perched himself in the tiny office chair in his room. A room that was meant for a 5ft nothin' highschool home coming queen. The ceilings were low the walls were beige and the door was a tone of peach only described as "Vomit". He'd sit in front of his computer searching and clicking and sometmes jacking off until his eyes were blood shot orbs of disturbed mass histeria. He watched conspiracy theory videos, he watched videos of people being blown to bits by bombs and high powered rifles. He'd go onto the 50/50 page of reddit and hope for the gruesome ones. He even winced in anger when he saw a puppy playing with bubbles once. He would usually wake up after slumping down and feeling the rush of cold drool against his chin stuble. Tonight was no different he stood up slowly and stretched making a shadow on his wall the looked like bruce baner turning into the hulk. "hah, i wish" he thought to himself. He slumped over to his bed which was a twin. His parents really wanted a girl. He fell asleep as usually painfully heaped into a fetal shaped mess barely covered by his blankets. "God i hate this fucking room" he said and passed out. After 4 hours of something inbetween sleep and an awkward balancing act he woke up to a shouting match going on between his parents in the hall. He shook his head and stood up and hulked over to the door and looked out to see them screaming. "Dennis, will you tell your mother we are not..." "oh gee dad i'd love to bu-" *Door slam* "Fuckin' nuerotic windbags" Dennis sat back down his his chair and rubbed his eyes. He was going to give it another college try. You see he would just fuck around online at night. Trying to see shit taht would mentally scar himself. However during the day he researched ways to actively end his existence. "The sooner i'm dead the sooner these fuckers can either divorce or hate fuck and concieve the little girl they've always wanted" he coughed to clear out his throat and lungs.

"Uh...lets see here" he said talking to no one. "Suicide no pain...no mess..." he typed out those words and pressed enter. His slow computer took ages to load the results. "Oh come the fuck on..another reason to do it" he said and chuckled. "aha!" he saw the screen finish loading and a result came up that was an answer to his prayers. "...Dr. Marve for the psychiatirc college for human on human intervention invites anyone wanting assistane reaching their demise to take part in this ..." he continued reading and clicked on the link. He found a phone number and an address and walked down the street and used a pay phone so his parents wouldn't have any evidence of who was involved. They never wanted him and he didn't really think they loved him but...he new some how they'd be pissed at whoever helped him. He popped a coin into the all but rusted dial. He feverishly mashed the buttons almost missing the last seven with his burly hands. The phone started ringing and he chewed his lip as the held the reciever to his ear. He smelled like a mix of sausage and B.O. "Uggghh now i know where the homeless sleep...uh..." just then a woman picked up. "Uhmmm...*clears his throat* ...is this Dr. Marves self end assistance office n 91124 bridgetown , washington?" "Why yes it is ,why is it that you're calling, ...?" "..well i...uh" "...just kidding we know why already just a little post post moterm humor" the woman said with a giggle and under any other circumstances this would have freaked him the fuck out. However he had called her. "uuhmmm ...anyway ..i was wondering if i could make an appointment for a consultation..I have the money ...." "Oh no its free the people who pay are the ones who apply to assist the dead" The woman said. "Oh...awesome..i mean...cool" He stammered. "Yes it is.." she said sounding almost evil. "uh..you mean this really doesn't like bug you? to work some where that helps with this sort of thing?" He asked feeling odd now about it himself. "oh no we just ask that the individuals make absolutely sure they have nothing to live for or leave behind. We don't like a lot of loose en--- i mean ...messy paperwork" She answered sounding as if she was smiling. "well thats me, i'm 22, no life, no friends,,nothing..not squat..so uhm when can i come in?" He asked getting back to the point. "walk ins are welcomed" She said seeming to soften up her odd eagerness. "great i'll be there this afternoon..bye" Dennis hung up and started walking to the bus station.

He came upon the bench which was empty. Which was good because the last thing he'd want was some old woman making small talk with him. He imagined the conversation in his head. Her asking him "where ya headed" him saying "to an appointment" and from there she'd either bore him about details about her ever present medical visits which would lead him to either rudely stare forward and ignore her or blow up in her face about how ..thankful he was about being on his way to kill himself. He saw the bus approaching and shook himself internally as to stop spacing out. He whipped out his bus pass and steped onto the bus. He got on and the bus smelled even worse than the phone reciever. Like a mix of pepper farts and garbage juice. "uggghhh now i know where the homeless fuck..." he said under his breath. He picked a seat. It was acrossed from a man wearing headphones and texting. He could make out the messages on the reflexion in the glass behind him.

"vanessa speak to me, its been two days, I know i proposed at lego land. i see that was wrong now i'm so so so so sorry.." *send noise* All Dennis could think to himself was ..glad I'm about to dodge that bullet. He smiled to himself and leaned against the back of the seat and dozed off.

He woke up to the bus jolting and him almost flying off of his seat. "Whoa shit!" he said catching himself against a somewhat sticky pleather seat. That had tears so old they now looked like old war wounds. He stood up and shook his head awake. He saw the clinic sign as he stepped off of the bus.

"Dr. Marve's, Where we make life complete" He rolled his eyes and began walking toward the door. The cliinic was a little hole in the wall. He looked like it used to be a chinese restaurant or something. It barely seemed big enough to do any kind of medical shit. He got closer to the door and looked the place up the down. "Hmm, guess this is as good a place as any to die" he shrugged and reached for the door handle. It creeked and he felt goosebumps rise up on his arms. "Christ!" he said he steped inside and a blinding light sent his pupils into spasms. His vision got a bit blurry "Oh shi-" he said blinking quickly so his eyes were adjust as the door shut behind him. "Welcome, can i have your name and why you want to die" he heard as his eyes regained focus. He recognized the voice from the phone. "Hi, I'm Dennis, people used to call me Denny, my dad calls me Denise!" He said sarcastically and walked up to the counter. "And why do you want to die?" The woman said a small smile that looked painted on stuck fast on her face. "A lot of reason, I'm overweight, my parents resent me, i have no friends, i work in the food court and i can't even make a pastrami on rye right..." he was cut off by the womans interuption. "no no...the most poinient reasoning, ...like...for instance if you were struggling with your sexuality, if you were in some kind of horrible chronic pain, if you were terminally ill and afraid that it would get worse, multiple personality disorder, someones threatened to kill you or maybe multiple someones and you wanna beat them to the punch" she said making a small punching motion inward like friends do in cheesy buddy movies as she smiled at him and tilted her head. "The fuck..? No...i just hate my life, ...don't peopl ever come in here wanting to die for that reason?" He asked almost becoming angry. "Yes...and some of this back out..and we like no mess as i've told you ...so i was just making sure..." she spat back at him and then looked down at some paperwork. "now....uhm lets see here the doctor can see you...." she paused for what felt lie 20 minutes. "Now...." she said perking back up and smiling at him. "...right through that door". She pointed at a large steel door that looked like something out of a psyche ward. "uh..thanks.." Dennis thanked her timidly and started lurching over to the door. There was no hint as to what was behind it...there was a small window but it was boarded up. Whiched seemed more than a little sketchy but Dennis didn't care. He was tired of being alive. He had been depressed and sad and emotionally devoid for too long. He lacked any kind of motivation or want or need out of life. He had nothing to lose and nothing to want. So he oppened the door and thank god it didn't screech at him and there were no blinding lights. Just a sign that said "don't touch wet paint." the sign looked old. He found a door that said "Dr. Marve" He knocked softly. "Uh..doc ya in there" He said feeling his voice crack and realizing how dry his mouth was. "One second suzanne..." he heard from behind the door and a few foot steps later and he was face to face with a man who didn't look like the kind of guy you'd think would want to end lives for a living. "Hello, you must be the young man who called earlier" he said smilng. "i spoke to your receptionists tho-" Dennis started. "i have all the phones tapped, so uhm..whats was your prefered method of...Danny..?" the Doctor asked him. "Its Denny...can i come in or...?" He asked. "Oh yes sure..." the Doctor said and leaped out of the way and two stepped back to his desk and sat down. Come take a seat. "Okay..." Dennis sat down and looked around. "Are you sure you are the right doctor, i mean you don't seem like the kind of person who wants to help people kill themselves" Denny said the doubt showing up in his voice. "What makes ya say that, is it cause i'm a doctor, aren't doctors meant to end suffering, life is suffering so by helping people end their lives i'm ending the leading cause of suffering" Dr. Marve said seeming a bit annoyed but stil too chipper for Dennis's liking. "hmm...Okay..ya talked me into it...You asked me my prefered method...what do you recommend?" Dennis asked sitting back and relaxing a bit in the chair.

Dr. Marve looked puzzled and also sat back in his chair. He spun around and looked out the window. "Well, that depends, Denny,...do you want pazazz and bang or something quiet...do you want a rush...or something small.." he slowly started turning back around. "..do you want TO BE COMPLETELY OBLITERATED ...OR DONATE THAT SLAB OF FLESH YOU CALL YOU TO SCIENCE?" He said finishing off yelling in Dennys face. Dennis didn't even flinch. "Doc, look i'm starting to think this place isn't legit. Between you and better bozo out there i'd swear this fucking place isn't an office or medical clinic at all, but just you and some bitch who escaped the psyche ward and wanna freak people out" He finished what he was saying and began playing with a loose piece of rubber on the sole of his shoe. Dr. Marve sat back down and brushed the small wrinkled out of his shirt. "no no...i could see where you'd get that idea but no...i just like to get someons blood pumping one last time before it stops, now...how do you want to die?" He asked again this time quietly but looking Dennis straight in the eyes. He pulled out a syringe and walked over to Dennis. "what the hell are you gonna do with that?" Dennis said tensing up in his chair. "nothing...unless you want me too" The doctor placed the syringe on his desk and leaned on the edge of the desk with his arms crossed. "Hell, i'll even leave and you can do it." He said nonchalantly shrugging his shoulders before walking back to his chair. "okay. I wanna be put down in a decent way. I'll take the injection..but i'm a big dude make sure you've got enough to do the job there doc." Dennis said and pulled up his T-shirt sleeve. "oh it'll do the job." The doc said and picked up the syringe and walked over to Dennis and pushed it into his upper forearm. After that the doctor tossed the syringe in a plastic binned marked "sharps". At first Dennis didn't feel much. Then he felt his fingers and toes going numb. He felt his nose twitch. He wasn't feeling pain. He felt like he was falling asleep sort of but one of those hidden sleeps. Like you're tired but not tired enough to admit it and before you know it you're waking up and its morning. Dennis felt his mind become less aware which was probably a blessing. He looked around the room one last time the walls were turning into jello and Dr. Marve was knealing down to check his pulse. "Almost there"...He felt nothing and it seemed over. Everything went black and he thought "so this must be death...Theres a whole lotta nothing"..he said in that dark emptyness for what felt like days. Just then something felt jagged...he could feel himself again. "Damnit, i went to hell...i was afraid of this..." He could hear voices...and he could smell chemicals and feel something like against his skin. Just then it hit him. "i'm not dead..I told them that little syringe full of shit wouldn't do the trick" He was alive but he couldn't open his eyes..he wasn't breathing. Just then he woke up...He was strapped to a bed...He was stuck there. He could feel his head getting foggier. He was losing his memories, his thoughts, his feelngs, his friends, his family, he felt panicked and then all of a sudden he couldn't feel anything. He couldn't remember who he was. "Denny boy!, how is my little patient?" Dr. Marve said walking over in a white lab coat that was covered in God knows what. "whose Denny?" he answered. "Well, my friend, you were,..you wanted to die...i'm sorry, Denny wanted to die..so we killed him, Now you can be whoever you want" Dr. Marve said smiling. "...who are you?" He asked. "i'm a miracle worker, and about to be bloody stinkin rich!" Dr. Marve exclaimed. "Are you sure about this Marve, are you sure no ones gonna come looking for him like they did the others?" Suzzane the receptionist asked a hint of sadness and desperation hanging in her words. "Don't be silly, he's just some kid...we'll let him lose and he'll be found by the authorities wondering around Zoosky park in his socks and boxers and they'll take him home where he'll have a new life where everyone loves him cause they've missed him." Dr. Marve said now sounding as if he was desperate to believe his own bullshit. "but he won't be him, not...not after this" she said panicking. "Thats what he wanted, Denny wanted to die, he's dead now, and now ...whoever this sap becomes next will be much happier you'll see." The doctor said stripping off his lab coat and putting on his regular coat and hat and grabbing his briefcase. "you're just gonna leave him here?" Suzzane said looking at Denny's body and stroking his face. "no we are, now come with me toots we've got plans to make!" He boasted and grabbed Suzzane by the wrist and pulled her out the door. She watched as the empty minded man strapped to the slab dozed off again. She hoped desperately that some of his memories would reform while there were out.

The next day Dennys body awoke and was now free of its restraints. Suzanne was standing over him with a smile. She rubbed his hand. "welcome back Denny, ...how was your nap?" she asked. "Denny,...is that me?" the person asked sounding less sedated and loopy. "Uhm...it was...., do you remember anything..?" She asked him. "I remember a needle...and darkness...and .." He looked up to the ceilng. "low ceilings" He blinked and smiled subtly. "But our ceilings are 12 ft high...?" Suzanne said feeling puzzled.

She handed him an sausage egg mcmuffin, Denny had hated eggs but she didn't know that. "Here i got something for you to eat just cause you don't remember food doesn't mean you shouldn't eat some." He took a bite and made a face...and then stared straight ahead for a few seconds. "what, what did you feel, ..or see?" She looked deep into his eyes...watching his pupils shift. He started blinking fast and spat the bite he had taken into a napkin. "why'd ya burn the eggs mah?" he said and looked irritated. "I'm not your mother..." she said and realized he could remember small things. She smiled but vowed not to tell the Doctor.

The man stood up and took baby steps around the room. He walked over to the mirror and looked in it. He tilted his eyebrows up and smiled. "Do...ya...uhm... do you remember yourself?" The woman asked. "Myself, ...thats me?" he said lookng at Suzanne then back at himself and mussing his hair up. "Yes, you came in here...and wanted our help and now..you...dont' remember yourself..or anything" She said as her shoulder slumped as she walked up to Bennys body. "Why did i need your help?" he asked. "you were...uhm..sad and unhappy..and now you can't remember why so i guess that's a plus" she said nearly cryiing. "It'll be okay" he said and hugged her. "How did you know to hug me?" she asked confused. "i don't know i must have seen it somewhere" The large man looked confused. "...so it does remember.." she said stroking her chin. "who is it?" Dennis asked. "..uh...nothiing....yet" she said looking him up and down. She walked out of the room and came back in with a pencil and paper and wrote down the alphabet. She held it up in front of him.

"Do you remember any of this?" She said. "Well, Duh, Those are letters, do you have anything besides eggs...i'd rather have pizza" He said. "Yeah i'll go get some pizza you go rest uhm...i'll be back" she said and sped off out the door lockng it behiind her. She hopped in her car and all the way to the pizza place she was smiling and thinking "shit shit fuck" at the same tme. She began talking to herself in the middle of traffic. "if he remembers somethings he might remember and be mad, but this is a breakthrough, if it worked...if it doesn't he could end up brain damaged in a week in Zoosk park lke Marve said...but no..shit...Suzzane you've gotta help him" she said and shook herself out of her conversation. She parked and ran in to grab two slice of pepperoni pizza, she paid with a $10 and said keep the change. As she charged back to the car she noticed a couple walking in and over heard their conversation.

"No Drew, he wouldn't just take off like that I know my Denny" The woman collapsed into the mans arms crying loudly. "There there Amy, We'll find him...He probably just passed out on the bus and ended up out of town at Rodgers again"

She watched them enter the pizza shop and sped off in her jeep back to the small clinic. She pulled around back and entered through the lab doors. She walked in to find Dr. Marve waiting with a tablet watching Denny's vitals.

"Oooh for me?" He said grinning. "uhm...no i got it for him..you can have the left over egg mcmuffin overthere though" She said smuggly and walked over and nudged Denny. "He won't wake up what did you do?" She said putting the pizza on a stand. "I'm fixing him, thats what he came here for so thats what i'm going to do!" He said. "You know he's sort of remembering things, and if we can trigger the good memories and keep him from remembering the bad long enough, he won't have pain attached to them anymore" She said trying not to sound bossy. "That wasn't the plan Suzanne, we were meant to find them a living host, someone who was alive but mentally empty who they could toy with for a bit." The doctor sad almost screaming. "Why not try someone with dementia or something inoperable" She stammered. "Because we need someone young and strong not some brittle old cow with dead brain cells this could be a breakthrough in mind control, it could lead to incredible things Suzie!" He said sounding like a mad scientist. "Don't call me Suzie, I haven't been Suzie since August when you..." she stopped and started scratching intently at her arm. "Cured you?" He said trying to prove a point. "You didn't cure shit, i felt empty with those memories, but at least i knew why i felt empty now...i feel nothing...!" she screamed and collapsed in tears. Just then Dennis woke up. "Why is she crying?" He asked looking slightly mad. "why do you care you don't even know anything" The doctor said scoffing at his unfunny remark. "I know enough" Dennis said. Just then he shoved the doctor out of the way and onto a syringe of his solution. He knealt down and looked at Suzanne she was scratching a gash into her forearm. "why are you doing this?" He said pull her hand away and covering her arm with his other hand. "because i had memories that hurt me...and he took mine,...and sometimes i wish i could remember, and when i can't i just..." she fidgetted trying to reach back and start again. "No.." He stood up holding her wrists and looking her in the eyes. "i'll help" he hugged her and they both heard the Doctor fall over with a thud. "Ill help you too." She said and sniffled while she wiped the tears away. The both took a slice of pizza and ate it. Then they lifted the doctor onto the stretcher and strapped him in.

A little back story on suzanne. She was sexually abused as a girl. Her parents left her for dead and the Doctor found her when she was a teen. He tricked her into having the percedure. He reconsidered it for a bit and then thought it would work out better on a male brain. She can't remember the abuse but there is still sadness and pain. Baseless pain and shame...without her minds ability to explain and so she does the scratching thing as a coping mechanism and reaactionary impulse. PTSD without any understandable trauma so the brain must create some kind of trauma or prompt the body to do so.

...

The walked out locking the door behind them. Suzanne and Dennis got into her car. He hit his head on the arch of the car door. "Yee-ouch damnit happens every time, fuck!" He shook his head and then looked around. "Where am i?, Where's Doc. Marve? Why am i not dead?" He said looking straight into Suzannes eyes, then down at her arm. "Oh god,,..Did i do that to you...f i did i'm sorry i didn't know what that syringe had in iti knew...i shouldn't have let him do...thi-" she put her hand over his mouth. She looked him dead in the eyes. "Stop, you're panicking, Dr. Marve attempted to wipe most of your memories. I dont know how much you remember but i've been trying to revive whats left of your memories...he originally was going to wipe your brain like a harddrive and sell you to some people who were going to use you and mind control you to do bad things Dennis" She said and pulled her hand away. "please call me Denny" He said and looked confused at himself. "do you remember the names Amy and Drew?"She said slowly. "uhm...Amy is...uhm.." He started stuttering and winced hard and was visibly in pain and laid flat against the cramped carseat. "whats ...wha---" Suzanne looked at him feeling horrible. "...she's my mom" he said smiling. "Yes!" Suzanne said starting her car. "Do you know a Drew?" She asked unsure of the result. "i think he's my dad..." He said sounding shakey. "yes!, i saw them and overheard them talking about you at the pizza place i wasn't sure until just now that you were the Denny they were talking about but now i know. I want to take you home to them, they miss you, my parents didn't love me, and in a way i know Dr. Marve saved my life back then but ...i can't remember anything and i only stay with him because i'm scared. its all i know" She said welling up and swallowing hard. "But you're not a little kid you're a grown woman, ...surely you want to do something else" Dennis said as they pulled out of the parking lot and went off to the pizza shop hoping they would catch his parents.

After about 5 minutes they reached the redlight before the pizza shop and A green Subaru was pulling out and Dennis saw it and it triggered his brain. "Thats my parents car!" The light turned green and they pulled out and followed the car until it reached the police station. It pulled in and they followed. After they did Dennys dad go out and walked up to Suzannes car as his mother walked into the police station. "what the he--whaaa...is that...?" he saw Dennis sat there in the passenger seat. "Dad?..." Denny said confused. "what do you mean. Dad?... of course i am come here!" he walked over to give him a hug. "I think you're my dad, so i'll hug you" Denny said and hugged him. "He thinks, what did you do?" Drew said looking angrily at Suzanne. "I need to tell you and you're not going to believe a word but the man responsible did the same thing to me only i don't remember anything. Your son still remembers you. The truth will be hard to hear but i save him and brought him to you and he's slowly starting to remember things. He came to the clinic i no longer work for as of today. He came in yesterday he wanted to die. He was tricked into thinking we offered assisted suicides. The man responsible attempted to wipe your sons memory it didn't work. If it had he'd be having his mnd controlled by someone else right now." She said breaking down into tears. "We gotta tell the cops and take them and go get this fucker!" His dad said. "I know exactly where he is too but we gotta hurry!".

Drew, Denny and Suzanne walked into the police station and poured their guts. At first the police didn't believe Suzanne until she was fingerprinted and just as she was about to be questioned her finger prints came back. She hadn't been left for dead. Her parents hadn't left her for dead in fact they had been looking for her all this tme. Her parents were contacted as Suzanne told the cops where the man who she now knew had sexually assaulted and kidnapped her was located her parents were contacted.

Denny was reintroduced to his parents, and himself. He learned to appreciate life. His mind was never quite the same though. He now is the manager of the Sub Slammer and invents knew kinds of sandwiches every month.

Suzanne is starting to remember things. Just not the bad parts.

Dr. Marve had his medical license revoked.. 20 yrs ago and is now serving extensive time in a psych ward where they do experiments on him to figure out whats wrong with his brain.

I know the ending wasn't a dark as you may have thought it would be but i hope its still good none the less.

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