#college classes be damned
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when the disorder i am well aware i have has the GALL to lead to disordered behavior 😮💨
#I actually start shaking if i go too long without thinking about my mythology buddie au#its a bit of an issue#like i don't even write that often but now its all i can do 😞#college classes be damned
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true freedom
#alwx.png#regretevator#regretevator folly#regretevator fanart#me? posting folly? 2 days in a row? more likely than you think#listen the lore drop hits different while youre procrastinating in class#college classes be damned i got folly to draw
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It never ceases to amaze me about how many different dehumanizing labels Dream is cast in. The tyrant, the green boy, the bad guy, the wrong’un, the villain, a psycho, psychopath (which tbh are already rather kinda extreme for his supposed crimes especially at the beginning when they started). But then they go further, calling him a snake thing, pure evil, a monster [clip], a freaking ghoul [clip], even to the point of calling him Lucifer in the finale - The Biblical incarnate of evil [clip].
And what’s really interesting is the inconsistency in which Dream reacts - because on one hand he should stand up for himself, but on the other maybe he should just lean into it and maybe they’ll leave him alone. Maybe the fear and label can be his defense instead of their offense. And that gives him control over it, turns him from the victim to the victor.
In the disc confrontation, Tommy calls him pure evil and asks “how do you sleep at night”, to which he responds “just fine” [clip] {oddly, directly contradicting his comment to Techno about no sleeping btw lol…}. Later, he talks about building the prison with a “little bit of evil” but then counters Tommy’s accusation of calling him evil again with “evil is in the eye of the beholder” and “you’re evil to me” [clip].
In the finale, towards the end, Tommy talks about how he saw Dream as nothing but The villain but that isn’t true, and surprisingly Dream disagrees by saying “I am. I tortured you” [clip] {also contradicting what he says to Sam in Daedalus…}. Which is interesting. In the finale, he also makes statements like ‘we can’t because we’re soo evil’ and “we have done plenty of evil evil things” [clip] (which Punz actually counters with “not for no reason.”) But in instances when they call him a psycho and psychopath he has a different reaction saying “huh, I mean, I wouldn’t say that,” [clip] “I’m not a psycho. Everything I do is deliberate” [clip] and, in the finale, “you guys are psychos. You broke in and tried—and killed me in my own house—the prison.” [clip]
One of the keys here I think is the distinction of having reasons - he’s not evil for kicks, he has a reason and motive and logic behind it. Something, in the finale, he questions whether Tommy has, first because he broke in and killed him unfounded and then towards the end of the stream asking about why he constantly steals and griefs and stuff, “why are you trying to ruin everything all the time.” [clip] - What was your reason? Because that mattered to Dream, someone can do evil things but they have their reasons, it’s when they don’t that they are more so truly evil.
He may have done evil things, he may even be the villain, but in his mind he’s not a psycho or pure evil, or a monster because he has reasons, there is a reason he did the things he did, there is a reason he ended up here. Not that those make his deeds justified and less evil (like Sam and Quackity more so believe) but that just makes him a person, who sure does evil, but also feels, and has reasons, desires, and motivations…etc. Just like everyone else. He doesn’t even see Quackity, who confessed to being sadistic and spent months torturing him, as pure evil or even a psychopath instead saying sarcastically in Daedalus, “like Quackity ‘cause he’s full of feelings… He’s totally not a sociopath…” because that distinction between sociopath and psychopath in Dream’s mind is important. Quackity is a bad person but he isn’t the embodiment of evil, he’s just a person who did evil things.
During the first war, Wilbur calls him a little lizard snake thing, to which Dream responds “I’m powerful” [clip]. Which is strange and kinda sad to me that despite being called an actual animal(s), one more importantly often representing evil like Lucifer the snake, he doesn’t counteract it. Maybe because he’s tired of Wilbur calling him similar dehumanizing terms or tired of arguing with Wilbur in general, since everyone believes him anyways. Regardless, he instead rephrases Wilbur’s words - maybe I am a lizard or a snake but you better not step on me because I am venomous and powerful. Which aligns pretty well with his monologue [transcript] where he talks about “Do snakes just bite?” or is there a reason. Because maybe he can’t change Wilbur and Tommy’s metaphor and maybe he can’t change the label of evil despite his attempts because everyone believes them instead, but maybe he can try and use their own words to defend himself. Maybe then they’ll see him as an actual person. {or not…}
#i hope this makes sense I’m not sure I did a good job expressing what I mean but I tried… this has been on my mind for a while#dsmp#c!dream#dreblr#dream smp#dsmp analysis#no one does it like c!dream#dsmpblr#dsmp dream#pandora's vault#did someone order an essay?#this is fine#aghdbnabdbbd god I’m sorry it just… how is he the bully again? heh?… like damn talk about name calling#no lie when Tommy called Dream Lucifer I laughed out loud before class in a college class room and got stares XD LOL… like bruh for real?#dsmp lore#snake monologue#some snakes just bite do you do I? not even once?……
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if you ever wanna make fake fashion mag pages use font Badoni for the title designs and Helvetica to read. you will thank me later
#asmtsm rambles#badoni is for fashion only and a text used to sell fashion#kinda like how colors claim to clam folks down#samesies#Helvetica makes reading easy everything you see that wants you to stop and read is some form of helvetica#god I wish I could link all the major fonts I have that I I paid for in art college... I mean I paid for it I should be god damn able to =_#if its one thing I know ios font and type face... thanks MR masi for scaring us shit less to ace your class
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✨does it ever drive you crazy, just how fast the night changes?✨
2020 -> 2024
#from HS senior to college senior and college GRADUATE…thank you all for joining me on this crazy ride#to see myself then and now when I have changed so much yet so little is kinda crazy lol#and you all have been here every step of the way#thank you all so damn much for that and I love you all <3#and also my senior pics look amazing yayyyyyyy 🥰#it’s mah face#class of 2024#I finally got them all in the mail (my pictures) and I/they look great 🥹
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My biggest Con fan adjacent sin I can admit to is that The Last Seduction II has seriously become a comfort movie to me.
Not Three Steps to Heaven, a movie I actually LOVE to criticize and bully. No. The almost unwatchable one, where Con plays a dick. The movie is hard to follow, and wraps up too quick. Con can't even save it. It's such a train wreck. I can't not enjoy it.
#Needed something to watch as I do discussions for college classes#god DAMN is it fun to just look at every few minutes#the last seduction II#con o'neill
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Woke up from a nightmare--well ... to me the idea of an 18% failing grade in a college course is a nightmare--and immediately saw the nice things in my inbox, which helped me calm down ... thank you, everyone. You're all lovely. /gen /p
#it wasn't until I jolted awake that I remembered I no longer attend college but the why my stress levels were rising ;;#my academics were always very important to me so sometimes I have really bad dreams about failing classes despite having graduated#and it's always either a math class or sociology ... those were my weakest areas#plus the dream was one that feels so vivid and real ... I'm still a bit frazzled#18.02% in a math class ... I would perish ;;#anyway--waking up and seeing the nice things in my inbox helped a lot /gen#it's so silly to still have such vivid dreams of college courses but it just goes to show how much I valued my grades ...#sometimes those dreams get really ridiculous but I still feel like they're real because college stress is so damn powerful#okay okay ... rambling#I was just really happy to wake up to something nice like that and wanted to thank you#I don't work today so I'm going to be around today--maybe not posting much but I will be around!#want to try ans answer those asks throughout the day ~#scattered pages
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I always dress up for Halloween when I teach (the students love it). Last year, I went as Mr. L. This year, I'm going as Portal!Ford (an easy costume, seeing as I own a TON of black clothing). We'll see if the kids get the reference, as I've talked about Gravity Falls before in class (even used the theme song for a harmonic analysis!)
#hello there#professor lego strikes again#have to buy some last minute candy to bring to class as well#college students are god damned VULTURES when it comes to free food
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Hope you guys don’t mind if I relapse into a sparkledog(pony) phase for like one second. I’m channeling my inner horsegirl (genderneutral)
#herobrine#minecraft steve#Yes yes Bryant is a Capricorn hes actually a goat fish and horribly obnoxious in colors but thats how he should be#Also Stonehooves is a mule but some of the pony bright colors show here and there but hes rather drab#I cant draw Alex rn because WINGS ARE TOO DAMN HARD anyways Ill finish figuring out her colors at some point#ocedraws#ocequeue#fuck it im tagging this as MLP#and minecraft#minecraft little pony hahahahahhahahahaha#my college classes are killing me (I am studying topics I am very passionate about and excited to attend)
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x
#aidan gillen#sing street#petyr baelish#this is how 1970s petyr would look#as like a professor#cuz that turtleneck screams professor#the first two are adorable#Id EARN my A in that damn class#I'd give a kidney to see him play a filthy college professor#not some boyscout like hynek#nah fam#i want me a professor who bends students over his desk#bitch you've had complete control of my loins for 9 years#if you aint gonna set them free at least give them a taste#my gifs#mine
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Finally watched through the entirety of Brooklyn Nine Nine for my first time and
why does it have to be over, man.
#brooklyn nine nine#b99#brooklyn 99#of course i am so very glad i have the privilege of saying i don’t want it to be over instead of i want it to be over#i kept getting recommended it by my friends but never got to it until watching the pilot was required for a college class of mine#i have forever been changed since. god damn it why does the show have to be so good. rip andre braugher and captain raymond holt still lives
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Statics Professor (describing us students): “…covid calculus babies…”
#ap calc bc was rough#but i got my damn credits#university#student life#college#school#student#quotes#quote blog#college quotes#university quotes#dialogue#statics#statics class#mechanical engineering
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something that will never fail to be amusing to me is when an mdzs college au needs the name of a professor, and then suddenly shen qingqiu is there
#ah yes professor shen we all know him#would love to see a fic that is like. largely focused on whatever mdzs characters are thrown into the college au setting#but you get the impression there's some kind of b-plot happening just off screen#where shen-laoshi is having some kind of weird drama with his former TA#or even just like. in the middle of class or office hours or something#professor shen's absurdly beautiful husband shows up to deliver him lunch#im imagining wwx going into office hours or something#and his brain to mouth filter completely fails him and he makes some comment like damn shen-laoshi's got game!#sqq regrets every decision he's ever made and lbh is having to remind himself that he's not allowed to kill his husband's students#anyway. i think it's silly and i enjoy it#i mostly only see it with sqq but i did read a fic once where one of the random jin kids bullying jin ling#was named luo bingbing and i was like ??#i don't think it was a reference to him but it felt like too strong of a coincidence#i think more scum villain characters should be random background characters in mdzs aus. it's very funny#sqh and jgy work in the same accounting firm or something#lqg is jc's personal trainer. idk.
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Howdy peepers, I've been feeling pretty down lately but I think I'm on the right path to snap out of it!
See yall on monday hopefully
#to be honest recent political news got me anxious and just.. disheartened#not gonna lie rather depressed#but i guess that's a normal reaction#god it's just so awful#change of subject- i might be a bit burned out too because of all the stressing i subjected myself to this month#but worries be damned my grades ain't overall half bad#THO you just can't catch a break when it comes to college it seems#like we have to sign up for our classes on this website#based on your major obviously#and some people just don't pick the right classes hhhhh#and you see the waiting list for the class you need to sign up to is full because the goofs don't know what their course code is#which is weird like 😭 maybe there's a GOOD reason why your group mates' names aren't on the class list#because you didn't pick the right one aaaaaa#get outta here fella pleaaase#also on an unrelated note: it turns out i have a mild case of rosacea#it's not that suprising skin conditions run in the family#my mom's side of family at least#like my grandpa had rosacea. my mom has it too. my sister had acne (not anymore tho). my older brother too has something going on#i just thought i got lucky and inherited my dad's skin but guess not 💀#funniest thing is that almost everything makes rosacea act up#heat? cold? spicy food? stress? exercise? stress? alcohol? GODDAMN SUNLIGHT???#you name it#so yeahh not pleasant#if it won't get better mom will make an appointment with a dermatologist#uhh.. i guess that's all i wanted to say#for now at least#miss you guys hope all of you have been doing well :'>#random squeak
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Damn. Cannot believe I’m graduating…
#i dont think its sunk in yet tbh#that i will never be taking classes again#but like. damn.#WAUGHHH#im so exhausted lmao lets hope the ceremony is short tomorrow#ANYWAYS#gotg#guardians of the galaxy#i saw this on pinterest and thought it was cute so i tweaked it a bit#very proud of how it came out tho!#swear to god i struggled over my cap more than i did my entire college career tho💀
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you know someday i'm gonna feel so good when i have my student loans paid off
that ain't gonna be soon, trust me, but i think about it
#i've been saving so much for it that i paid off over like $2k in the last 2 or 3 months#it's just thinking about how the amount of interest goes off that drives me literally crazy#and my monthly amount i owe is like just under $120#which to some people as a regular bill is more manageable than others. but as i have an irregular income#as a substitute teacher it's something that gives me a LOT of stress.#which is another reason i've been overpaying. in case something happens/i can't get a lot of work#it defers the next due date.#that way it's not urgent but yet i still *feel* it all the time#debt is a crazy kind of thing#and to think that my loans are from COMMUNITY college. two years. publicly owned#when i start taking classes again soon. i currently have enough saved that if i take like ONE class#i can pay out of pocket. and i think im only gonna take one class to start anyway#which will also help with the deferred payments#see i just fucking hate having to think practically about money like this#tales from diana#idk how ppl leave high school and go straight to live in a dorm room at a private university for four straight years#and rack up tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt.#first of all that lifestyle was not accessible for me to begin with. even when paying it was such an abstract put-it-off thought#as it is for so many 18-year-olds who are told not to worry about where they apply.#but i had under $12k to repay when the student loan debt was unfrozen last fall#and it's been weighing on me soooo heavily since then. i think about it every damn day#it's like the money i make isn't even mine. it goes straight to mohela and food#keep in mind i also live w my parents & am on their health insurance so someday there'll be moooore bills!!!!
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