#college!inseong

[rainy-astrology]

SF9 Inseong Birth Chart Analysis

Based on my opinion and observations. Not an expert. May change later.

July 12th, 1993

Seoul, South Korea

Unknown time

☀️♋️, 🌙♈️

Cancer sun + Aries moon - likely squares; protective and strong-willed, ambitious and knows what he wants as both are cardinal signs. If they do square, there could be a case of emotional turmoil and confusion on how to properly express himself, how to even deal with such feelings. Cancer is sentimental and deeply emotional while Aries would prefer to not revel in their feelings (although funnily they're a very emotionally sensitive sign too).

Cancer sun conjuncts Cancer mercury - Good communication skills and high intelligence; active mind; both being in Cancer, makes him intuituve and sentimental. There's a family and home focus. Inseong is incredibly intelligent and he does seem to care for his family a lot. Inseong does not cry much, but there was a moment during a concert where the members were talking about their families and he actually became emotional during the topic.

Aries Moon + Cancer Mercury - likely squares; if his moon squares his mercury, he may have a hard time with clearly expressing his feelings and thoughts clearly. Could be an impulsive way of showing it or an attempt to repress them. Inseong generally doesn't show his negative feelings (having only openly cried twice throughout his career iirc), he seems to prefer being positive.

Gemini venus square Virgo mars - a conflict between balancing the want for intimacy and harmony (venus) with the want for independence and control (mars). This could be troublesome in relationships (if underdeveloped) as this placement craves attention and acceptance, can be quite demanding for it at times. Tends to be affectionate but also overwhelming with the need for reciprocity. I do see this a bit with him as he is very affectionate with his members and does openly ask for love back. On a more positive note, it seems to give the native a drive for creative expression, which Inseong definitely has a lot of.

The Virgo mars also gives him high expectations for himself and others, so this may wedge some issues between him and others if they don't meet them.

Energetic Aries moon and hardworking Virgo mars can explain why Inseong pursues many activities. Likes to genuinely keep himself busy. I sometimes wonder if it is to keep himself from thinking about his deeper thoughts and feelings...there seems to be a sense of trouble of dealing with his emotions. But I could be wrong as there's no confirmed time for him.

Possible rising: Libra - Charming and fun, he certainly knows how to liven up the atmosphere. Loves to make people laugh and have a good time. It also seems he has had to settle some conflicts and/or at least seems a bit awkward with conflict. E.g He was an MC for a P1Harmony for a series and when the group started to get a bit rowdy once, he seemed very unsure what to do. The other members have also spoken about how Inseong has a hard time saying "no" to other people, indicating he is probably a bit of a people pleaser.

It could also give him a Cancer MC, with Sun and Mercury in 10th. Seems quite fitting for him. Career is important for him as he's always working on and pursuing many things (musicals, idol work, variety shows, even pursuing his college education when he was juggling all of this work).

Possible Libra rising and Gemini venus could explain his flirty and talkative nature to the others, especially as both are air placements (mentally energetic and analytical). Quite affectionate and shameless in pursuing and showing that love.

Possible Aries moon in 7th with Aries 7h could explain Inseong's affectionate nature to his members. This placement also reminds me of the time in an interview some years ago where they were asked which member they would date. Inseong chose Youngbin as he believed Youngbin would protect him. 7th house Aries tends to be attracted to people who seem strong and protective.

___

Other analysis:

MBTI | Enneagram

___

Kpop astrology masterlist

[milkybonya]

선배 °•.,,,.•°' 인성

anon: May I request inseong fluff with introvert s/o who had crush on him during college and she confessed to him without realising he had a crush on her as well?

warnings: use of sunbae

word count: ~1k

milky's 💌: i actually received this when my requests were closed but decided to accept it because i really wanted to write for Inseong >.< he's enlisting im so sad :c

Inseong is the reason for your everything. as exaggerated as it sounds, he's the reason for many things in your life. your above average grades and everything that you feel proud of is all a result of his existence. meeting him made you want to be a good person just like him (even though you're already an angel ♡).

in first year, you met him as a teaching assistant for your small elective tutorial. he was just in the year above you but you felt he was so mature. the way he led the tutorial, full of understanding and knowledge, never too strict but never too lax. he made your learning enjoyable and helped you understand many concepts.

you started to notice and fall in love with small things about him, like how he pouted when he was deep in thought or intently listening to a student, how he rolled up his sleeves just before the tutorial would start, and how he'd scrunch up his nose before he pushed his glasses up. you loved everything about him.

Inseong understood you were shy from the quiet manner in which you introduced yourself, and your lack of participation on the first day encouraged him to ask you to stay back after the tutorial.

"y/n, you know that participation is 20% of your grade, and i know speaking in front of everyone is horrible sometimes, so i'd like to give you the option to stay behind and share your thoughts with me privately, or to send me an email with your analysis of the readings instead?" Inseong explained.

being one on one with him was scary as hell but of course you wouldn't miss this opportunity! in that moment, you just wanted to be by his side.

"i can stay after tutorial, but will it not be taking too much of your time?" you asked.

Inseong immediately shook his head, no.

"well, do you have any thoughts about today's work?" Inseong asked. then as you began to speak, he fell into a trance. your explanations and thoughts were all vivid and detailed. he loved the way you spoke.

so, when you finished speaking, he was speechless. his eyes were full of admiration and he smiled at you widely.

"y/n, your perspective is really unique. i've honestly never thought about the text in this way, so i'll have to get back to you on all this," Inseong replied honestly.

he then thought carefully before he asked you if you'd be free to discuss it over coffee on the weekend. yet again, of course you agreed. that's how your sunbae relationship with him began.

-

"Inseong sunbae, wait! I have my essay right here!" you shouted from several metres behind the boy.

he stopped in his tracks when you called him, smiling at the ground. his name sounded so precious when it escaped your lips.

turning around, he immediately changed his expression into a sterner one as you ran towards him, holding your essay in print, neatly stapled.

"y/n, you didn't show up to tutorial today even though the essay was due by the end of it. it's 10 minutes past the deadline. do you really think i should accept it?"

"yes," you panted, placing your hands on your knees as you heaved heavy breaths.

"and why's that?" Inseong asked.

"because you're nice and understanding and want to get a 10/10 on the teaching assistant evaluation that we'll do at the end of the term?"

Inseong scoffed and bit his lip.

"oh, so you're being smart with me? fine, i'll take your essay. but if you want a good grade on it, you owe me a coffee," Inseong said, snatching the paper out of your hands.

"already have it," you replied, handing him the cup you'd hidden behind your back.

he couldn't hold back his smile this time, and he reached out to pat your head.

"you did well, y/n."

for the sake of impressing Inseong, you made sure you always did well. but you didn't tell him that.

-

now that the semester has ended and you're no longer Inseong's student, you feel so much more comfortable with him. at parties, events, and festivals, you try to make conversation with him more than you used to before.

"who's that? they always come say hi to you," Jaeyoon, Inseong's friend asks him.

"that's y/n! they were my student before."

"that's y/n? if they're the one you like so much, why don't you talk with them more?"

Inseong gently slaps Jaeyoon.

"they're shy, i don't want to make them nervous by talking to them a lot."

Inseong doesn't deny that he likes you even after Jaeyoon joked about it, and Jaeyoon makes note of that with a smirk.

-

finally, you decide you can't keep admiring Inseong from afar anymore. your feelings for him are always threatening to burst everytime he's near, and though you're scared, you just want to get the cat out of the bag already.

"Inseong!"

Inseong's heart flutters hearing you call his name again, as always.

"hm?" he hums through the phone speaker.

"can i come to your house? i've got something to tell you."

Inseong shoots upright in his bed. the clock reads 10pm.

"now? y/n, it's late--"

"i know, i'm sorry!"

"wait, you didn't let me finish. it's dark and cold, how could i let you come here by yourself? i'll come to your dorm, wait for me," Inseong says before hanging up.

-

you fidget, walk around in circles and sigh many times to fight your nervousness while you wait for Inseong. he shows up quickly, though.

"y/n," he calls out, walking up the steps of your dorm building to meet you.

"Sunbae.."

"is everything okay? what did you want to talk about?" he asks you.

you take a deep breath. though it's quite obvious to people like Jaeyoon that Inseong returns your feelings, it's not as obvious to you. in fact, you still believe that Inseong sees you as nothing more than an old student of his, but you try to focus on all the times you studied with him, visited coffee shops to talk about coursework, how many times he invited you to parties or to his house to meet his roommates...

maybe there's a chance?

"Inseong... i'm nervous so, i... i've always admired you. firstly as a teaching assistant and now as a person. i like you, Inseong," you say, your voice slightly shaky.

the corners of Inseong's mouth turn downwards as he tries to hide his smile.

"can you repeat that again for me?" he teases you.

you furrow your eyebrows and look up at him and he laughs, placing his hands on your shoulders and looking deeply into your eyes. your breath gets caught in your throat and your heart flutters seeing his face so close to yours.

"i like you too, y/n. i've liked you all this time, too," he says.

you let out a sigh of relief and your heart rate speeds up. Inseong, the most perfect college sunbae likes you back?!

"thank you for being brave and confessing to me first," he tells you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest.

your heart flutters as you feel his warmth and his scent wraps around you. your knees are going weak but it doesn't matter because Inseong's holding you, anyway.

"i don't want to let go," he mumbles into your hair.

"then don't," you whisper in his ear.

he laughs, pulling away but with his arms still around you.

"will you let me into your dorm? it's cold out here," he says.

"no," you joke, stepping out of his embrace and turning to your dorm building.

his hand finds yours immediately, though, pulling you back to him.

"then i'm taking you with me."

[dystoopia]

SF9 1st PHOTO BOOK    

[kpophours]

// study date with Inseong ☕️

[forehead-enthusiast]

Stop, my love, don’t move- Let me capture the masterpiece you are.

[lost-inthedream]

Holidays together

Stories we can tell based on the pictures released for sf9 second photo book, Comma.

🌳 Hyung line version / middle line version / maknae line version

gn reader.

For all 3 following blurbs consider these elements: a public green space, humid weather, holidays.

🌾Youngbin:

(ooh.. his gaze looks kinda down so his blurb will be just a tiny bit angst)

Despite being on a holiday you were having a hard time detaching yourself from the incoming messages of your college/work group chat. You and Youngbin had decided to escape to nature so you could distress. However, you ended up grabbing your mobile from the side pocket of your backpack in the first hour. Youngbin looked at you not in an angry way but there was some bitterness in his demeanor which you unintentionally ignored. You snorted and started to type.

He was about to comment on how beautiful you looked in the middle of the flowers when you got distracted by the buzz of the cellphone. The modern civilization kept dragging you away from him, even when you were side by side. He still looked at you as if you were the only woman/man in the world though. For no apparent reason, you turned your head to him in a sudden move. “I’m sorry” You felt like throwing that stupid device into the river, such was the disappointment you felt regarding yourself. “I did it again”

“Just promise me you’ll let me love you for the rest of these holidays” he demanded in a firm yet delicate tone.

You turned off your mobile and grabbed your boyfriend instead. Your entire body promised to be entirely with him but you needed to say more. “Please love me the other days too, even after the holidays”.

“You know your wish is my command, my precious flower” he affirmed and kissed the top of your head. His hand patting your back. And you wondered if the soft pats caused your tears of relief to form or if you were already crying when you jumped on him for a hug. The breeze ruffled the flowers around the two of you.

🌱 Inseong:

You had spotted the tiny flower stuck in your boyfriend’s t-shirt collar since the moment he came back holding that ball. Some kids had kicked the item in the bush over there and Inseong collected it for them.

You heard on of those little ones asking him to play with them and so he did for a short while, before sitting with you again. Both of you had been maturing together in your relationship but you wondered how he could keep that young face and air. He looked especially young these holidays. Maybe it was his soft hair or the white shirt with a preppy charm that he pulled off so well.

“What are you looking at?” he asks trying to discover it by himself but failing. The flower was really close to his neck.

“No no, stop touching it or you’re gonna ruin it!” You delicately take his hand in yours. “There’s a tiny flower stuck in your tee.”

He let his hand rest in your hold, you felt it weigh. As he stared into your soul, his big, young eyes almost froze you. “But how did it get here?”

You chuckled out of your trance. “It must have been the work of a fairy.”

Your guess visibly amused him, he smiled back shifting your hands and holding yours instead so he could peck your fingers. “I’ll let it here then. I can’t dismiss the work of a magic being”

🌿Jaeyoon:

You could not refrain your laugh when Jaeyoon placed both his hands on your booty to help you climb that tree.

“what’s it Y/N?” he asked under you. His palms still supporting your body as you lost your strength to the laughter.

“Nothing, Baby. I didn’t expect you to help me like this. Thank you” You grabbed a branch and pushed yourself up with conviction. Your feet found a firm recess on the trunk and you could seat up in the tree. You looked down to your content lover.

“Great job!!” he cheered all bouncy.

“Aren’t you coming?” you asked extending your hands to him. That was his idea after all.

He made the way up with resourcefulness, you had a privileged view to his muscles flexing as he came to you. An independent man, so strong but so yours. There was space to him next to you where the solid trunk bifurcated. “Here you are” you gasped collecting him as if any help was needed. Jaeyoon thanked you, all the same, holding your hand would give him additional strength any time.

The two of you looked around with satisfaction. The sky were slowly changing on the horizon; None of you had noticed it before. You wrapped your hand around his biceps and pointed over there. He just nodded. “That’s okay, my love. Maybe a rain shower won’t be a bad idea.”

You leaned on his shoulder and smiled at the landscape, the fresh air fulfilling your lungs.

[tobesensation-9]

Hey Everyone!

I like popping on here in the midst of my semester's to see how everything is going. I logged on after a few months and I see we're almost at 250 followers??? Like WHAT??? Thanks guys for the reposts and finding my works, although I'm not as active. Love you guys! Also who already misses Youngbin and Inseong (tries to sniffle in a library with other college students trying not to embarrass myself).

- T.

[9h4mn]

the language of flowers

➞ multi-fandom

➞ fluff, angst, and everything in between.

➞ coming soon

➞ flowers have a language of their own and when used correctly, it gives a message beyond words. will your flower give you your romance or will it give you something of a shakesperean tragedy?

anemone – sf9's inseong // angst, war au

perhaps everyone was right when they told inseong to never pursue them. they came from the very land of his enemies, whose to say that their love would be true?

asphodel – oneus' ravn // angst, emperor au

old, sick, and dying that is the state of the once great emperor, youngjo. his son, the crowned prince and the next in line for the throne, listens as he shares his final tale.

azalea – ateez's san // angst, post-war au

five years ago, san got drafted to the army and so he leaves his homely village. with the war over and him coming back home, it would seem as if everything is ok but who knew fate would be so cruel to him?

belladonna – vrvr's kangmin // fluff, high school au

people were beginning to catch up to the fact that the school's sweetheart is very much taken but who was the mysterious boyfriend? the flushed color on kangmin's cheeks whenever he stares at them isn't a hint, it really isn't.

crown imperial – victon's seungwoo // fantasy au

years ago, the crown was stolen and worn by an undeserving king. with the current struggle for the throne, it was only right that the true owner of the throne returns.

currant – enhypen's sunoo // dystopian au

born into a world where everyone can rate each other, sunoo mastered his perfect illusion. his rate would stay high and relevant—he was sure of that—but for some reason they can't get out of his mind. weren't they supposed to be as perfect as he is?

enchanter's nightshade – trsr's jihoon // witch au

perhaps its time to set their differences aside when jihoon's only hope to find his familiar is to team up with them and join them as they start a rescue operation for both their familiars.

ficiodes – gncd's jangjun // fluff, college au

whoever decided that it was a good idea to pair a tsundere and a prankster together must have lost their mind or maybe they were right, who knows.

hemlock – cix's yonghee // fluff, actor au

yonghee's sure he is the outgoing one but as his supposed reserved co-star kept on flustering him, he isn't so sure anymore. he'd get his revenge on them, he'll make sure of it.

juniper – astro's sanha // fluff, barista au

his friends could laugh all they want but it would never be able to ease sanha's worries. just why is the person he likes such a walking hazzard? he's so close to wrapping them in bubblewrap.

mourning bride – trsr's doyoung // angst

doyoung's life was finally headed to the right course; his dream school, great friends, and the loveliest girlfriend were all his now but why is it that he feels empty?

venus' trap – chebu's jiwon // forbidden love

life as a trophy wife, it seems like quite a dream especially when jiwon gets to enjoy her husband's money but life wasn't like that. even if years have passed, jiwon's only lover was always going to be her own sister-in-law.

©9h4mn | all contents belong to me. do not modify or repost.

[prettywordsyouleft]

Hello, for chelle chats can I request something for Jaeyoon (sf9) please, maybe something fluffy perhaps involving the other members! Thank you!

I know nothing much about Jaeyoon/SF9 members outside of their music, so this might not be realistic. Sorry!

Pairing: Lee Jaeyoon x female reader

Word count: 389

______________________

"I don't want to move," you said with a yawn, your lips curling up when Jaeyoon's hand slid up and down your spine softly. "This is perfect."

"We had plans to go out for coffee and bread," he reminded, but you shook your head into his chest, and Jaeyoon chuckled. "Not even chocolate bread can get you up?"

"What can I say? You're too comfortable."

A snort from across the room finally made your eyes open. You looked over at Youngbin resting on his bed, wishing that Jaeyoon's college dorm was a single room like yours for the billionth time.

"He's jealous that he can't get snuggles today."

"When Y/N's gone, you'll slink over here and want your own," Youngbin teased dryly, flipping through his textbook with a bored expression.

"You know it. Can't not be snuggling," Jaeyoon continued, and you rolled your eyes. You wouldn't put it past your boyfriend to push Youngbin's buttons later with doing just that. You wondered if the older boy would thump Jaeyoon for attempting or enjoy the skinship. Even if he was serious a lot, you knew Youngbin was affectionate. You'd seen so when he last had a girlfriend.

The door opened without a knock on it, and Dawon and Inseong entered a moment later. You groaned, sitting up.

Dawon smirked. "Don't stop on our account. Though, there's a promo happening down at the coffee shop that you guys shouldn't miss. We're heading there now. Want to come with?"

Jaeyoon looked at you with a knowing smile. You rolled your eyes again but grinned back. "You did want some coffee and bread, right?"

"We were going to make a date out of it."

"But with all of them?" you asked after the three men left loudly. "I don't know if I want our date hijacked like our snuggle fest was."

"How about we get what we want and then take a walk around campus. That way, they won't follow us."

You raised a dubious eyebrow at your boyfriend, and Jaeyoon chuckled. "Well, we can hope that they won't. Why are my friends and my girlfriend so needy for my attention?"

"I guess you're just too loveable," you answered, getting up before pulling him to his feet. "Just as long as you need me the most, right?"

He kissed you. "Without a doubt."

______________________

My ask box is open for this week’s Chelle Chats!

[divinefireangel]

To-do List!

Will be regularly updated along with Masterlist. For most recent work, check pinned post!

My own ideas:

A Seo Moon-Jo Imagine.

A Justin Min Smut. (F! Reader)

What it's like dating SF9

+ So many more (I might die writing them 💀)

Requests:

Imagines:

SF9:

Chani smut

Hwiyoung smut (Public Sex)

Chani smut (Semi Public Sex)

Rowoon smut (Office AU)

Tsundere! Chani fic

Yoo Taeyang smut (Public Sex)

Dawon smut (Cockwarming/Public Sex)

Dawon smut (S/O gets a wet dream about him)

Chani fic (Enemies to Lovers)

Youngbin fic

Zuho fic (Exes to Lovers)

Hwiyoung fic (Friends to Lovers AU)

Inseong smut (Intimate Love Making)

College Student! Chani smut

Dawon smut (Roadtrip sex 👀)

Youngbin fic (Taking care of sick S/O)

Dawon fic (College student! Sanghyuk AU)

Jaeyoon x Plus Size reader Smut

Friends with Benefits! Chani (College AU)

Vampire! Jaeyoon AU

Reactions:

SF9 meeting you in a random discord server

Coming home to horny SF9

Morning after with SF9

S/O purposely makes them jealous

SF9 taking care of drunk S/O

SF9 upsets their S/O

Making love for the first time

S/O uses safeword

Crush brings up their name in an interview (Idol! Y/N AU) 🆕

SF9's reaction dating chubby S/O

SF9 sees their crush in a swimsuit for the first time

How do SF9 have sex in the dorm🆕

S/O is a wildlife vet (or is studying to be one)

S/O has aquaphobia

S/O has a deep voice

SF9 falling for their best friend

SF9 giving their S/O kiss+tickle attacks

SF9 visits S/O's house for the first time but they are asked to do chores which need height

SF9's reaction to reader pulling an all nighter multiple nights in a row

Asking SF9 to keep their hands to themselves while you suck them off

S/O has Asperger's Syndrome

S/O has a habit of putting their hands in SF9's shirt

S/O is sick and needs help taking a shower

❗Yandere! SF9 ❗

Reactions:

S/O trying to run away

OT9 have crush on same OC

Seo Moon-Jo:

Seo Moon-Jo x M! Reader smut 1 (Yandere! SMJ)

Seo Moon-Jo x M! Reader smut 2

A fluffy fic.

Masterlist(s) Links:

All Works Masterlist

SF9 Masterlist

SF9 Reactions Masterlist

Seo Moon-Jo Masterlist

Justin H Min Masterlist

ATEEZ Masterlist

Stray Kids Masterlist

I will finish the requests depending on inspiration to write. I really appreciate your requests 🥺. Thank you for sending them 💕🤗.

Ask box is open for friendly discussions!

[softfics9]

Tell Me What It Is - Chapter 2

Fandom; SF9

Main Pairing; Kim Inseong/Kim Youngbin

Genre; Angst and Comfort, College AU

Trigger Warnings; Panic Attacks, Fainting, Unconsciousness

Word Count; 3,706

Rating; Teen and Up

Beta’d; No

Cross- Posted; AO3

Other Chapters; Chapter 1

Author’s Notes; Please pay attention to the trigger warnings, all those things are explicitly talked about and experienced in this chapter. I understand that everyone experiences panic attacks differently, but this is based on my own personal experiences. If it upsets you or makes you uncomfortable please tell me, I don’t want anyone to feel that way while reading my work.

Let me know what you think, I really do appreciate all comments and feedback.

If you asked anyone what they thought of Kim Inseong, the two words you were most likely to hear were “loud” and “smart”. He made up a third of the infamous “Extra Line”, and was also one of the top three students in every class he took since starting in university four years ago. But despite being well-known and liked by lots of students and faculty alike, he was close to very few people - and this meant, there were currently only two people who knew of his panic attacks and fears. That number was about to go up to three.

Inseong had learned a while ago how to take care of mini-breakdowns on his own, not wanting to bother his oldest friends over small little things. When he sensed one coming on; he would isolate himself in a quiet space, preferably a darkened space too but that wasn’t always viable, and just sit with his knees up to his chest and breathe. His friends had helped him research breathing techniques to help him calm down, and coupling those with humming soft melodies, Inseong was often able to prevent it escalating to a full-blown panic attack. If he was ever with Jaeyoon or Sanghyuk when he felt it happening, he could tell them and they would do their best to make sure he got to a safe space and was taken care of, and of course if he wasn’t able to stop it, they would be there to help him pull through. But it was impossible for one of them to be with him at all times, and so there were a few occasions when Inseong had to do things alone, this was one of those times.

His boyfriend had asked him to meet his parents, it was a big deal sure, but one Inseong should have been prepared for. After all, Youngbin had met his parents months ago, when they surprised their son by coming to visit. And Inseong wasn’t worried, he was a very outgoing and charming person, and he never had problems meeting new people and making connections. So then why was he hiding in the small bathroom of their hotel room, ten minutes before they are supposed to go downstairs and meet Youngbin’s parents?

Five minutes ago he was fine, just applying some low-key makeup before they had to head down, and Youngbin was sprawled on their king-sized double bed listening to the tracks he had to choose from for their upcoming dance performance. Inseong looked over at his boyfriend, and suddenly he felt a tightness form in his chest, it made it hard to breathe and his head started to get fuzzy. It was the start of a panic attack, and judging by the quick onset it was likely to be a bad one. He closed the door as quietly as he could, before climbing into the bathtub and pulling his knees up to his chest. Even after draping a towel over his head to make the room a little darker, and using all the calming methods he had learned over the years, the clenching feeling around his heart and buzzing in his head was not fading, it seemed to be getting worse. There was nothing Inseong could do to stop a full-blown breakdown happening, and worse than that was the fact he couldn’t ask Jaeyoon or Sanghyuk to come and help him. They were back in their university dorms, probably getting ready for another night of gaming, and his phone was out in the main bedroom so calling them to talk him through it was also out of the question.

The ringing in his ears reached a volume that drowned out his own humming, and despite shutting his eyes there was still a fluorescent white glare permeating his vision. All he could do was keep breathing as best he could, and hopefully, it would pass before Youngbin came looking for him. His friends had scolded him for not telling his boyfriend about these attacks, but Inseong didn’t want to burden him, especially after learning about the slightly younger boy’s own insecurities and troubles. That decision was coming back to bite him now though, as the pain in his chest was so intense it left him coughing and gasping for air. He had no idea what time had passed, or how loud he was being, all he knew was that he was spiraling down and there was no one around to ground him.

As he started to regain his senses, Inseong knew he must have passed out. Rather than the sitting position he had been in before, he was now lying on his side curled up in the bathtub. His vision was still white and the ringing was starting to fade, but he was conscious at least. But without something more solid to ground him and pull him back, Inseong knew it would be awhile before he would be fully in control again. Just as he was resigning himself to the pulling fatigue, he felt a cool, wet cloth placed on his forehead and a hand on his upper arm. The physical sensation of the damp material shocked him, but he used the feeling to start grounding himself in the moment. Taking large deep breaths, he focused all his energy on the moisture seeping onto his skin, the warmth and pressure of the hand, the cold hard surface he was lying on. Any sense of time was still distorted in Inseong’s mind, but an undefined period later the ringing quieted down enough for him to hear someone talking in low soothing tones, repeating his name and murmuring reassurances. It was Youngbin’s voice, and switching his focus to that, Inseong started to feel himself regaining his composure. He turned his head upwards toward the voice and was rewarded with hearing a sharp intake of breath followed by a choked sob. The hand that had been on his arm moved up to hold his neck, and the heat of his boyfriend's skin coupled with the increased frenzy of words was enough for Inseong to open his eyes.

The room was darker than he remembered leaving it, only a muted yellow glow came through the open door. It was enough to see the outline of the shorter male's face hovering over him, but not so much that he could make out the expression he was wearing. Inseong attempted a smile, but if it worked at all it probably came out more as a grimace. A few more indefinite moments later, he felt the connection to his limbs again, resisting the overwhelming urge to clutch and claw at the skin to confirm they were really there, Inseong instead focused his attention on the feeling in his head. Apart from the usual rhythmic pounding of blood in his skull and the cloth still on his forehead, he couldn’t feel any thumping pain, which fortunately meant he hadn’t whacked his head off anything when he fainted. Wetting his lips as best he could, Inseong tried to get words out to his boyfriend, but all that came out was slurred sounds and noises.

“Hey hey hey, relax it’s alright don’t rush yourself to talk. I’m here, I’ve got you. Everything is going to be ok.”

Youngbin’s voice came out slightly squeezed, the same way he had sounded when Taeyang fell and hurt his ankle a few weeks ago while trying to do a flip in one of their choreographies. He was trying not to cry, putting on his strong leader front, to reassure everyone else that he would take care of things. Inseong hated that this time, he was the cause of his boyfriend’s emotional pain. Closing his eyes and taking another deep breath, Inseong used all his gathered energy to slide himself into a sitting position. He got halfway before the muscles in his arms gave out, but another pair of much stronger arms were there to stop him from falling back. Youngbin helped him up so his back was resting against the side of the bath, and his legs were stretched out lengthwise. All the time, he was still talking softly, whispering soothing words and promises in the space between them. Inseong opened his eyes and looked straight at his boyfriend, drawing on his last reserves to speak.

“Binnie, I want to lie down in bed please”

His voice was hoarse and cracked, but the message obviously got across because Youngbin was nodding vigorously and trying to take calming breaths. He removed the now lukewarm washcloth from Inseong’s head and threw it into the sink behind him, and slowly as if he was afraid of hurting him, he moved his arms around the taller male and lifted him up. Inseong was carried bridal style out of the bathroom and into the main bedroom they shared. From what he could see with his head buried in Youngbin’s shoulder, the curtains had been drawn and there was a single lamp lit in the corner of the room. He felt himself be lowered onto the soft covers in the middle of their bed, and his boyfriend moved to sit comfortably beside him.

“Now I don’t want you overexerting yourself ok babe? Just relax and lie here, I’ll take care of you alright? I’m just going to go get another cool cloth for your head, and then I’ll get you a drink of water. I’m coming right back I promise.”

There was a thick layer of concern in Youngbin’s voice as he talked to him, and even when he moved away to get those things, he was still talking, constantly reassuring Inseong he was still there. There was nothing else the elder could do except rest and will his body to cooperate with his wishes. Youngbin came back and placed the cool cloth once again on his head, and took one of Inseong’s hands in his own. He absentmindedly played with the long slender fingers, and Inseong could feel the tension and worry in just that touch alone. After what he concluded to be about five minutes of the two of them staying still, except for restless fingers, Inseong felt his head was clear enough for him to open his eyes. He did and looked straight up and the dark ceiling, only the glow of the lamp in the corner illuminating the room. He turned his head towards his boyfriend, only to find him with his eyes shut and tear streaks dimly shining on his face. Inseong felt his heart squeeze, only this time it wasn’t an impending panic attack but rather one of heartbreak. Youngbin had cried because of him - sad, hopeless tears of pain and worry.

“Binnie, I’m ok now. I promise.”

His voice was barely more than a whisper, but Youngbin immediately opened his eyes and his gaze fell on Inseong. There was a gentle smile on his face, it looked sad still in the low lighting, but he was looking at Youngbin with what could only be described as pure love. Lifting up the hand that wasn’t in his boyfriends grasp, he motioned to lie down on the bed next to him. Youngbin obliged, gently maneuvering so that Inseong’s hand was still clasped between them, and their eyes were on the same level. The wetness on his cheeks was far more visible now, and his boyfriend's eyes were puffy and bloodshot. His heart ached again for putting him through this. The brown-haired boy buried his head into the other's broad chest, feeling shame and regret.

“I’m so so sorry Bin. You should never have had to deal with this. The others were always saying I should tell you and if I had told you then you would have known and not worried about me and it’s all my fault, there wasn’t even a reason for it happening but it did and-”

Inseong’s rambling was cut off by Youngbin wrapping his arms around his shoulders and pulling him close to his chest. Briefly, Inseong remembered the wet cloth on his head which was no doubt soaking into his boyfriend’s nice shirt, but then a hand came up to card through his hair and felt himself sink into the embrace.

“Babe, you don’t need to be sorry about anything alright? I know the feeling of not wanting to burden you with my troubles, if you hadn’t caught me I probably still wouldn’t have told you. And you know, even if you had told me about this it wouldn’t stop me from worrying. I care too much about you.”

The gentle words were spoken right by his ear, the ghost of Youngbin’s warm breath making him shiver slightly. He looked up into his boyfriend’s eyes to see such warmth and care, it loosened the tightness in his chest. Inseong was going to say something cheesy that would make his boyfriend blush, however, just as he opened his mouth, the cloth on his forehead slipped down to his nose and a corner of it got into his open mouth. The brown-haired boy spluttered in surprise, as Youngbin burst into laughter at the sight. And just like that, the tension in the air dispersed as Inseong joined his boyfriend's mirth.

The younger boy lifted the offending fabric away from his boyfriend’s mouth and dropped it on the pillow above their heads. Still smiling he leaned in and pressed and gentle kiss to his damp forehead, before pulling him into another tight embrace. The pair lay there for a while, just enjoying the feeling of being wrapped in one another's arms before Inseong finally got all of his thoughts in order. He pulled back slightly, just enough so that he could look up into Youngbin’s eyes.

“What about your parents?”

There was a quiver in his voice and Inseong hated it, but it was a question that had to be asked. Youngbin’s face softened and he smiled gently.

“You don’t have to worry about it I promise. I called them and told them you weren’t feeling well and we couldn’t make it to dinner. If you’re feeling up for it tomorrow, we can meet them for lunch instead.”

Inseong sighed and nodded his head, he hated that the plans they had set up a month ago were all messed up just because he had a breakdown. He was more annoyed by the fact he couldn’t identify what triggered such a strong negative reaction, and especially since it was so sudden and not something that had been building for a while. Youngbin must have seen his frown and sensed his change in mood because he started placing feather light kisses across Inseong’s head and face while rubbing soothing circles between his shoulder blades. Inseong took a deep breath to calm himself and faced his boyfriend again with another question that had troubled him.

“When did you find me? A-and how did you know what to do to bring me back?”

There was that crack in his voice again, it always made an appearance in times when Inseong was overwhelmed with some kind of emotion. Right now, it was a mixture of guilt and worry. But Youngbin just hummed in acknowledgment, before moving them slightly so it was more comfortable for the taller man to lie on his chest. Inseong breathed in the scent of his boyfriend’s favourite cologne and a smell that was just uniquely him and felt his heart settle down. This was safe, this was comfortable. Despite what had just transpired Youngbin was still here, holding him, caring for him, and Inseong felt overwhelmed by yet another emotion - love.

“You closed the bathroom door, so at first I just thought you were going to use the toilet before we headed down. But then you weren’t out five minutes later and when I got up to knock I heard you start coughing. And it was scary, you sounded like you were throwing up, so when I knocked and you didn’t answer I went in. And you-”

Inseong could hear the hitch in his boyfriend’s breathing, and he guessed this was why the shorter man had repositioned them so that his tears wouldn’t be seen. All he could do was cuddle closer and hold his hand as he fought to continue speaking.

“You were just slouched there, when I pulled the towel off your head yo-you weren’t breathing for a second. And then you took this huge breath and started coughing again and your head just rolled back towards the wall. I tried shaking you and calling your name but there was no response, but you were breathing and I think that’s when I started crying.”

Another break, this time Inseong could feel the unsteady shaking of the chest beneath him as his boyfriend tried to hold back his sobs. He wanted to reach up, and tell Youngbin he didn’t have to talk about this right now, but before he could the black haired boy continued.

“I just didn’t know what to do, I mean my first response was to go call an ambulance or something but then I remembered Jaeyoon telling me before we left that if anything happened I should call him first. Now you know I usually wouldn’t listen to him, but he was so serious I guess I took it to heart. He picked up after the first ring and sounded really worried, I explained as best I could what happened and I’m pretty sure Sanghyuk was cursing you in the background of the call. But he told me this has happened before, and then he talked me through what to do to help bring you around and look after you when you woke up. He also told me to ring him again once you were alright, I should probably do that now.”

“How long was I out for?”

“Ummm, I don’t know for sure since I wasn’t there when you passed out first. It could have been anything from ten to fifteen minutes.”

He had known it was going to be a bad one from the intensity, but this was only a 2 on his scale. If he had been out for over 20 minutes it would have been a much bigger problem, one that would involve another pointless trip to the doctor’s office. Inseong lifted himself up, he had regained enough strength in his arms but still wouldn’t trust himself to walk anytime soon. When he looked down at his boyfriend’s tear-stained face he wanted to start crying himself. But the man lying under him just gave a watery smile and leaned up to kiss him. Properly this time, full of warmth and love. Inseong could taste the saltiness of his tears on the younger man’s lips and broke away to bury his face in his neck. Inhaling the familiar scent was all he needed to calm down, he was okay - they were okay.

“Babe, I really should call Jaeyoon now. He is probably freaking out.”

Inseong nodded and detached himself from his boyfriend's neck, but still held onto one of his hands as he reached over to get his phone. He seemed to contemplate for a moment, finger hovering over the call button, before changing his mind and sending a text instead. Less yelling involved he said when the older one questioned his reasons. They lay back down together and cuddled again, they were both still in their dressy clothes they had supposed to be meeting Youngbin’s parents in. But that could wait for tomorrow. Instead, the pair lay in the comfort of one another's arms, and Inseong slowly started to explain his panic attacks and breakdowns.

He told Youngbin about what he was sure triggered them, and how sometimes they were just out of the blue. They talked through the signs that he was going to have one, preventative measures and the best way to help him through it. Not all bad breakdowns resulted in fainting, sometimes they just left him feeling detached and disoriented for the rest of the day. And sometimes the less intense ones were worse, because physically it felt like they never happened, even though he was left emotionally drained. Youngbin just lay there beside him, taking in all this new information and holding Inseong’s hand the whole time. There was so much trust and understanding between them, he really couldn’t remember why he kept this from his boyfriend for so long. But everything was out in the open between them now, and it felt like a weight he hadn’t even known was there had been lifted off his shoulders. Inseong finally finished talking and answering all Youngbin’s questions, and for a minute they just stared at one another.

“I love you.”

Inseong felt his breath hitch and his heart swell to bursting. They had said it before, but right now in this moment, it felt like those three words carried an extra weight. Despite everything, and all the worry he had unnecessarily put Youngbin through he still loved him. The older boy didn’t realise he was crying until a hand came up to wipe the tears. He was smiling though, grinning like a lunatic as he surged forward to meet his boyfriend’s lips in a kiss. It was filled with every ounce of emotion Inseong could muster, trying to let him feel the intensity of his emotions. When they broke away, Youngbin had tears in his eyes as well.

“I love you too Binnie, thank you.”

They kissed again and again, trading small whispered “I love yous” under the minimal lighting in their hotel room. Inseong drifted off at some point, mentally and physically drained from the ordeal earlier, and was woken by Youngbin lifting him up to pull back the blankets. He vaguely recognised that he was now in a pair of loose tracksuits, and his boyfriend was in his chosen sleepwear - basketball shorts, and a tank top. But when he felt strong arms wrap around him and pull him into a warm chest, Inseong fell straight back to sleep. He was safe wrapped up in this embrace, he was loved and cherished, and he wouldn’t trade it for the world.

[milkybonya]

S F 9 🎺 Masterlist

Inseong

sunbae (college!fluff)

Jaeyoon

flora (bf!fluff)

Rowoon

lazy lips (bf!fluff)

the morning after (bf!fluff)

Hwiyoung

love me without labels (college!au)

more members coming soon/please request!!

[writinganecho]

If I told you - kim inseong - 4

Kim Inseong x gender ambiguous reader

genre: fluff, a sprinkle of angst, nerd!Inseong, office friends to lovers, slow burn

warnings: discussions of food and alcohol

A/N: DM stands for Dungeon Master, basically the storyteller who leads the rest of the players through the events of the game. 

word count: 4,6k+

You dreaded coming into work the next day after those trainee drinks. You felt like a line had been crossed that night, an unspoken arrangement between Inseong and you that had brought you familiarity and comfort at work seemed now blurred with uncertainty. Only just imagine the awkwardness between you that night that you were unable to effectively break with a light-hearted remark or joke, becoming a constant created a tightness in your throat that made it difficult to even think.

So you did not see Inseong the rest of the week, but when you met up with Yuna for another lunch or a brief chat, you gathered she had not either, which led you to conclude that he must’ve been working hard on the upcoming conference he’d be attending with his team very soon. Not because you were avoiding his floor when the printer on yours was broken. Or because you were suddenly fine with drinking bad coffee from your department instead of going to higher floors where you might run into him. Or citing the icy cold winds as the reason why you weren’t visiting the 6th floor garden lately.

Your manager, however, meddled with your strategies in your first team meeting after a quiet weekend. After you had shared the sneer from Deputy Chung on your latest report, your manager wanted you to prepare ahead for any criticism from Management, especially legal and financing. “Legal will be a piece of cake for you, since you’re so close with members of the legal team, so get started there.” She said it as though she was doing you a favor.

Apprehensively, you texted Inseong that you guessed he must be very busy and didn’t want to bother him but whether he had some time to help you get started. After some internal debate, you added a “Coffee on me!” and a cute sticker. 

Feeling jittery, you put away your phone only to pick it up as soon as it vibrated. And when you saw Inseong enter the small meeting room where you waited for him with two cups of coffee, wearing his big suit, when he listened attentively to your questions with his lips slightly pursed, when he was rapidly listing possible verdicts or cases that might be of help, pushing up his glasses higher onto his nose, your uneasiness in your stomach simmered down. Your usual coffee meet-ups were reinstated, although shorter and less frequent than they had been and he couldn’t join for lunch where you badgered Yuna about the guy she was dating, eating with his team instead while preparing for the conference.

Work had become more busy than you were used to, now that you had received the questions from Management on your report. You were supposed to hand in responses beginning next week, a few days before their next meeting. Feeling thankful to your manager and Inseong in helping you get a head start, you worked diligently without having to work overtime. Nevertheless, you immediately felt the muscles in your neck and shoulders relax when you walked towards the cafe where you were meeting your friends Wednesday night. Having survived hump day, you knew you needed to focus to finish up the last set of questions by Friday so that you could get them checked by your team on Monday. But now, the most difficult thinking you wanted to engage in was deciding on your drink order.

“Minyoung!” You waved enthusiastically when you saw your friend right before you wanted to answer the cafe. She skipped towards you excitedly, her infectious smile taking up her whole face. “Hey babe!” You greeted with a brief hug. “Finally released from the shackles of capitalism for today?” Minyoung and you had met in college and having followed every chapter of your employment story, she had been surprised that you had taken up a corporate job. She also thought you worked too much for a job you were not too passionate about. Easy for her to say - she landed a contract with the local newspaper right out of college.

“Never! I’ve got an ankle bracelet now…They’re monitoring my every step.” You joked, moving to roll up your slacks to show her. 

“Oh well, at least then I can be sure you’ll be on your best behavior. We have to make a good impression tonight.” Minyoung winked. You were meeting tonight to meet Lua’s girlfriend for the first time. They had been dating for a while, and Lua wanted her closest friends to finally meet her. You had never seen Lua so head over heels before. From high school throughout college, where Minyoung joined your gang, she had been casually sleeping around, but had always bluntly stated to her partners that the only thing she was serious about were her friends, family and getting into med school. Meeting her now girlfriend during her first residency overhauled her life plan completely. It was endearing and admirable to you to see her so lovestruck while making such an effort to still care for her friends and acing her training.

Yet, you also noticed that she was putting herself under a lot of pressure to do everything at a 10. So when she had expressed that she wanted you to meet Lucy, Minyoung and you had proposed to organize the night. You had decided to start off the early night at a board game cafe as a low key way to get to know each other - Lua had hinted that Lucy felt intimidated meeting her closest friends - before moving to a casual restaurant for a late dinner.

From the outside, the cafe was located in an older city building in an alleyway, and when you and Minyoung entered, it was spacious and yet snug. The light was soft and golden, board games were piling up on and in between booths that lined along the walls and windows, with smaller tables in the middle, filled with people of all ages, larger groups occupying many of the booths. Behind the bar, centered in the middle of the cafe, there seemed to be more nooks for games requiring more peace and quiet. You couldn’t remember who came up with the idea to meet here, but whoever did chose well. Surprised to find Lua and Lucy already sitting inside in a booth at the window, you hurried to greet them. Lua enveloped you in a tight, bone-cracking hug, in awe at the power in her petite body. You then introduced yourself to Lucy, who spoke so softly that you had to focus all your attention on her and her delicate features. “This is such a nice place.” She said it shyly, her voice shaking a bit, but from the soft glistening in her eyes when she looked back at Lua, you knew she was sincere. “I’m so happy you like it!” You responded brightly, hoping she would feel more comfortable with you soon. “We already pre-selected some games,” Lua said, spreading out bigger and smaller boxes on the table. Of course, she could not let go of control completely in her nervousness to make this evening go right, you thought bemusedly. “Great, I’ll go get us some drinks then while you choose a game? I’m up for anything, as long as we can finish before we have to be at the restaurant around 20.30 and more importantly, the game doesn’t invite Minyoung’s cheating tendencies.” You gave her a stern look. “Now babe, don’t be a sore loser, you know the whole point of that one game was about whether honest or lying players would win. I can’t help that we live in a world where deceit triumphs over integrity.” Minyoung nodded at Lucy in search of her agreement, who just bashfully smiled. 

You stuck out your tongue. “Watch yourself or I won’t get you any drinks!” 

“This discussion again?” Lua rolled her eyes. “Yes, Y/N is a goody two shoes sore loser, but Minyoung you know that you always try to bend the rules of any game whenever you get the chance.” “How about playing a cooperative board game then?” Lucy proposed, three pairs of eyes immediately focusing on her, which made her timidly look to her hands resting on the table.

Lua, sitting next to Lucy, gave her a side hug and a kiss on her temple while Minyoung and you enthusiastically agreed. You took up their drink and snack orders to get from the bar as your friends looked into which game would be suitable.

Maneuvering your way around the small tables, you lined up behind the scrambled bunch of people waiting for their orders, craning your neck to read the snack menu. The two bartenders were working hard to keep up with the orders, but you knew from your own experience in food service that managing both snacks and drinks could be tough, especially during peak hours like now. 

“Oh, oops I-”

You had noticed too late that the guy in front of you had turned around to move away from the bar, and suddenly felt something blunt pushed uncomfortably in the soft part of your upper body. A clear clinking noise reached your ears, and in reflex you reached out to stabilize the tray, immediately checking if nothing had spilled or worse: toppled over. Fortunately, everything seemed sufficiently intact, although the tray was so fully loaded that any slight bump or movement could ruin its contents if not handled by someone experienced. Small plastic baskets filled with snacks precariously balanced on top of all sorts of drinks in glasses and bottles.

“I’m sorry, I was so focused on getting these drinks away safely, I wasn’t paying attention-” The same voice started hastily explaining but suddenly stopped, a very familiar voice actually. You looked up. Now you remembered how you had come to know about this place. “Inseong?!” “Y/N?”

For a moment, you just stared at each other. You never met outside work situations. From his formal office attire, it seemed that Inseong had probably come here straight out of work, just like you. Where you had only let your hair down, Inseong bangs were still thickly covering his forehead, slightly falling in his eyes - his glasses had slid low on his nose, probably because of your collision. He had lost his suit jacket and necktie though, and the top two buttons of his shirt were opened, unintentionally drawing your eyes to a smooth neckline. Your eyes shot up, pushing particular memories out of your head, plastering a smile on your face. 

“Hey, Inseong! What are you doing here?” Play games, of course, what else would someone be doing here, you chastised yourself.

“Oh, my friends and I play D&D here every once in a while. Today is a special event because after Chani, Seokwoo also joined! It’s pretty amazing actually that we were able to meet all together on such short notice especially with my work trip coming up…” Inseong explained himself. “How about you?” You explained to him that you too came here with friends before going out for dinner, but not sure yet which game you should play. “I think they’ve got The Forbidden Island here, if you’re looking for a collaborative game that doesn’t take too long.” He started to inform you of the basic gameplay and you nodded, thinking it could be fun, but also noticed him more closely clasping the heavy tray he was still holding. “That actually sounds really good, thanks - do you need some help getting your orders to the table? You know you’re facing someone with years of experience in waiting tables.” You pretended to show off your arm muscles before moving in between the people waiting to order and confiscated another tray. Relying on your old waiting skills, you expertly moved some of the drinks and snacks onto your tray. Nodding to Inseong, he led you to his booth on the other side of the room, where a group of guys were sitting, talking, laughing, playing with dice, some with notebooks or scraps of paper. A laptop and a big book laid at the head of the table. You started to unload your tray onto the table, placing snacks in the middle of the table. Some of the guys passed on drinks, thanking you, probably thinking you were a waiter. “Um, everyone,” Inseong weakly scraped his throat, trying to get their attention. “This is one of my coworkers…” A guy wearing a cap, even taller than Inseong, you could tell even if he was sitting down at the edge of the booth, glanced up and nodded in a first effort to greet you while you set down the last drinks. “...who works for the Corporate Responsibility Department of our company, Y/N”

Now seven more pairs of eyes came to focus on you as you straightened your back, holding the tray in front of your lower body as though to shield you from the sudden attention. “Hi everyone, I’m Y/N,” you repeated, hoping your smile didn’t come across as awkward. 

A guy with friendly eyes sitting on the other entrance side of the booth took this as a cue to introduce himself. “Nice to meet you, I’m Youngbin.” You learned the name of the tall guy with the cap next - Seokwoo - and the rest of the guys politely followed, some waving or smiling. “So… what’s it like working with Inseong-hyung?” Sanghyuk said through a cheeky smile after he concluded this round of introductions. You saw Jaeyoon, next to him, lean forward with an excitement on his face that you couldn’t place. You quickly glimpsed at Inseong, who stood rooted to the spot, eyes straight ahead. 

“Well, we’re at different departments so we don’t really work together directly,” You explained, moving the tray to your side. “And he’s been in such high demand recently, he doesn’t even have time to have lunch with peasants like myself.” You flipped your hair in playful annoyance. 

This earned you some laughs, making you feel accomplished. Apparently they enjoyed making fun of the oldest in the group. Sanghyuk nodded vigorously in agreement. “Ugh, hyung, you can be such a yes-man! Get your priorities straight.”

“Wait, but you don’t work together? I thought the two of you worked together on a project or something? What do you do then?” Youngkyun asked, his mature face puzzled.

Inseong chuckled, but didn’t sound like himself. “What is this, a job evaluation-” He started, but you answered Youngkyun, though confused about how he had come to these questions. “No, like Inseong said, I work at Corporate Responsibility, we critically assess our company’s policies and strategies on for example their ethics or environmental impact, or advice on philanthropic causes to support - basically, trying to move away the focus of our company from just making profit.” Youngkyun nodded appreciatively.

“But we did work together when we were trainees at the Digitalization department - Inseong helped me out so much back then, I was so lost in the beginning!” You smiled at Inseong with a fondness only reserved for your favorite coworker. Inseong didn’t return your look, his knuckles white around the tray he was still holding and his face glowing. Still not good with receiving compliments, you thought. “He still does actually, he helped me out the other day with the legal backing for a report I have to finish this week, despite being so busy lately.”

“Working at an office must be so romantic,” you heard Youngkyun say to Taeyang, who laughed in response and you joined, thinking he must be wearing some unbreakable rose-colored glasses thinking that there was anything romantic about corporate office life. But Taeyang’s snicker was quickly smacked off his face by Seokwoo in reprimand, hushing him. 

Inseong, too, was brought back to his senses. He turned to you. “Y/N, please don’t feel obligated to answer these stupid questions, they just want to tease me…”

“Oh I know, I just wanted to tease you too,” you retorted impishly. You then directed yourself to the group: “Tip for you guys, he gets even more quickly embarrassed if you just shower him with compliments.” 

All laughed, and Inseong was convincingly crimson now. “Don’t let us dorks keep you from your friends…” Inseong mumbled to you, lips in a cute pout.

Taking the hint, you decided to say your goodbye. “Yeah, don’t want to keep them waiting.” You smiled brightly at the group. “It was nice meeting you! Have fun on your game night - slay that dragon! Escape that dungeon!” The guys chuckled again, while Chani remarked a bit too cleverly: “Uh, that’s not really how the game works…” “How do you know? As your DM, I can tell you that both will make an appearance tonight…” Inseong scolded him as groans and gasps arose from the group. You gently took the tray from his hands to go back to the bar and finally get those drinks, delighted to see Inseong take the upper hand at the end. 

“Have a good night, Y/N!” You heard Inseong’s voice above the ruckus from his booth. You turned around and your waves were returned by the guys, Youngbin having pulled Inseong into his seat at the table, talking to him excitedly with Jaeyoon.

The line at the bar had dissolved in the meantime. When you finally got back to your own table, you were greeted with a “What took you so long?” from Minyoung, who helped you distribute the drinks. “Oh, just met a coworker,” you said with nonchalance, eyes running over the assortment of new games spread out on the table. “Wow, did you find every cooperative game in this bar?” “We did actually, since you were taking your time with those drinks,” Lua berated you and she directed you to one particular pile. “We wanted to wait for you to decide on which game to play, though. These were the ones we all thought looked fun and that could fit our timeframe.” “Starting off strong with our teamwork,” you joked, inspecting the half a dozen games she pointed you to. “Oh, my coworker just recommended this - let’s try this one?”

The game had you work together to escape an island quickly sinking after you’d taken its treasures. As Lucy had predicted, when you worked together instead of competing for the win, you played calmly, without much debate (except when Minyoung proposed bending the rules a bit), cheering softly for each other when your strategies worked. 

You needn’t have tried to be quiet, the cafe was packed, but despite the clamor of voices, you couldn’t help but steal a glance whenever noise erupted from the table on the other side of the bar that you’d visited. A whole spectrum of emotions seemed to pass over Inseong’s table, often erupting loudly in laughter, sudden choked breaths, then sighs of relief. At one point you thought you saw Sanghyuk trying to move onto the table, hands in prayer as if pleading his case to Inseong, whose back faced you, before being strictly ordered back to his place by either Seokwoo or Youngbin. Although the game you were playing was fun too, it was difficult not to get distracted by the entertainment that table provided.

Escaping the island turned out to be not too difficult now that your synergy as friends also translated to the game. Cleaning up and finishing your drinks while talking over your used tactics, you decided to leave a bit ahead of schedule since you would not have time for another round.

You glanced at Inseong’s table again, deliberating going up to say goodbye or to just text instead and then whether to message him at all. You never even texted outside of work hours. These thoughts churning in your mind, you put on your coat, and scarf, and when your eyes focused on the table again you saw an enthusiastic wave by Zuho’s long arms. He had looked intimidating when you met earlier tonight, but here showed the excitement of a child seeing his favorite grandparent. You waved back awkwardly, but still appreciative of the gesture. The game seemed to be interrupted a bit, some also waving and Youngbin, Seokwoo, Inseong and Jaeyoon in hasty conversation.

You followed your friends outside, wrapping your scarf more tightly around your neck, bracing yourself against the cold. There was no wind cutting through the empty, narrow street, but still the dry chill bit your cheeks and the tip of your nose. “Y/N!”

You turned around from your friends. Returning to the steps of the bar, hands in your coat’s pockets, you met Inseong again, who stood there without a coat, looking frazzled, nose, cheeks and lips already reddening from the low temperature.

“Hey! Did I forget something inside again?” You greeted him light-heartedly. 

“What? No, I-” Inseong quickly looked over his shoulder as if checking back inside, then behind you, nodding politely to your friends, to in the end direct his eyes on a spot down between you. His response took a little bit too long. “Um, are you going out for dinner now?” He sighed almost unnoticeably when he spoke.

A bit puzzled, you answered: “Yes, our reservation is at 20.30 so we thought to leave on time.” You motioned with your head to the direction where you and your friends were supposed to go. “Oh, that barbecue place around the corner?” Inseong seemed to want to look at anything but your eyes. You tried to keep your tone light to hide your confusion. “Actually, no, we’re having Mexican - but we should check it out. We played the game you recommended by the way - we won surprisingly quickly.”

“Yeah, it’s one of the easier cooperative board games out there if you know the strengths of your group. You could try Mysterium next, it’s basically Clue but then you work together to solve the murder by contacting the ghost of the victim through a medium…” He started explaining the gameplay, but you interrupted him when you saw him shivering.

“Are you getting possessed by a ghost as we speak?” You joked. You felt the urge to reach out and rub his arms to warm him up, but decided against it. “Maybe it’s best to go inside - you wouldn’t want to get sick right before that confidence you were so looking forward to, right?” You slipped in some tongue-in-cheek sarcasm, camouflaging your worries around standing outside dressed like this in the middle of winter. 

“Maybe I should stay out longer then,” he said, sounding determined, which surprised you, even if it was just banter. “You know that we’re even staying the weekend? They say it’s to have enough time for team building activities, but my guess is that they just want to save costs on plane tickets.” He could always get a rise out of you with trash talking about your company. “Plus they’re making you work on weekends uncompensated, right? I know where our job is getting their millions of profits from… It’s truly unethical.” Inseong smiled playfully. “I’ll make sure to file a complaint at Corporate Responsibility with all the workplace violations as soon as I get back.”

He must know that your department couldn’t really do much for him, but you decided to play along, enjoying the more confident tone in his voice now, and that he was starting to meet your eyes again. You grinned. “Sure, let’s set a date to go over your complaints then.”

Something faltered behind his eyes. Anxiety was growing again in the pit of your stomach, first slowly spilling over to your heart and making your thoughts overflow. What were you doing that the mood could shift so quickly? 

“Yes, let’s set a date…” Inseong started, but did not finish his sentence. The sudden quiet only made your thoughts only louder, racing about his eyes on you, the redness of his cheeks having spread down to his collarbones peeking out under the open buttons, but also your friends’ gazes pricking your back. 

“I’ll send you an email after checking your work calendar then,” Inseong continued. Was this purely formal or was this still part of the banter? “Sorry to keep you.” He bowed slightly to your friends, acknowledging them again. This pulled you back, suddenly seeing the small street again in focus - how could you not even have introduced them? “Oh, I’m so sorry,” you turned so that you could also see your friends. “Everyone, this is Inseong, my coworker from Legal and Digitalization.” Minyoung was the first to step up to introduce herself. “Oh, so this is the Inseong you and Yuna hang out with at work all the time?” “Minyoung and Yuna are quite close from both majoring in communication in college,” you explained seeing Inseong’s perplexed face. 

Inseong nodded and gave a shy, polite smile to Minyoung, while you made sure he met Lua and Lucy as well. “Well, enjoy the rest of your evening, have a nice dinner,” Inseong said to your friends, a bit awkward but not unfriendly, and then, almost apologetically to you: “I just wanted to say goodbye.” His glasses framed a smile in his eyes, you wanted to dive into them to let them enfold you in the comfort they brought you.

You nodded, smiling shyly, and only when you and your friends walked away, Inseong turned to go back inside the cafe. 

“So is this the colleague who helped you out a lot at work?” Lua said, slinging her arm around Lucy’s waist, looking at you with curiosity.

“Yeah.” You noticed you wanted to keep your tone nonchalant, but couldn’t help but add: “I helped him out a lot too, though.”

“Did you now?” Minyoung linked her arm in yours and looked at you with a smirk. “Maybe you could help him out getting some better fitting suits. Or maybe you’d rather see him not wearing any-” “C’mon Minyoung, he’s my coworker…” You tried to laugh it off, but wriggled out of her hold as if needing to create some physical distance between yourself and her words as well. “Oh, I’m sorry that I’m excited about meeting a guy that hasn’t gotten on your nerves within a week!” Minyoung retorted with a complacent smile.. Lua nodded in agreement. “You two were completely in your own world just now.” “...ignoring us, your friends, completely…” Minyoung added with theatrical flair. “...making us wait for you in the cold, risking pneumonia…” Lua played along while opening the door of the restaurant where you’d just arrived. You laughed - Minyoung’s dramatic streak had now also rubbed off on Lua, it seemed.

Following Lua inside after Minyoung, you heard Lucy softly chime in as well, sounding a bit more serious: “Including him, going outside just wearing a dress shirt in this cold… You must be close with each other, if he would go out of his way to say goodbye to you like this.”

Her words made your cheeks heat up and your stomach tingle, but at the same time, you felt a relief from the tension that had built since meeting Inseong tonight. You smiled back at her, not sure if it was to communicate agreement or appreciation.

In the softly lit, colorful restaurant, Lucy took her seat next to Lua, who immediately showed her the menu and explained which dishes were supposedly worth the hype here. Minyoung immediately tried to show you better fitting suits for Inseong to wear on her phone when you took your place on her left. You pushed her phone away. “If you want to talk about some real dating news, have you already heard anything about Yuna’s mystery man?” And with Minyoung taking out her phone again to give you the results from her Instagram sleuthing, the heat was finally off you. 

A/N: I’m not fully satisfied with this chapter, but here it is! hope you’ve enjoyed it :)

[sfnet]

[ ! ]  Hwiyoung and Inseong will be starring in the upcoming webdrama “Dok-Gobin Updating”

The webdrama is scheduled to premiere in August of this year. "Dok-Gobin Updating” is described as a full-fledged friendship comedy drama between Ha Deok-ho (Inseong), a college student who is clumsy but cute, and Dok-gobin (Hwiyoung), an artificial intelligence robot that is humanely perfect but more warm-hearted than anyone else. 

[lost-inthedream]

SF9 as types of stalkers

Note: I know that real stalkers are not cool or funny, but let’s be soft at least once.

Imagine the following scenes as a college AU

This is pure fluff with some crack (if I really am funny)

➹ Youngbin:

The stalker who you do not know you have, he is cautious to not scare you. You must have seen him two or three times but you do not suspect about his real plans because he looks a cute and inoffensive guy. In fact, you only spot him when he wants you to. The guy gets what he wants in sunny day outside the building, when he helps you by handing back your wallet, which had left on a bench under a blooming tree. He runs after you, so you see that your belong is in his hands. “Oh, thank you. I guess your face is familiar.” You say in admiration. He acts (a bit unnaturally) like he has not ever seen you before , but asks you for an ice cream after class anyway.

➹ Inseong:

He is that cute weirdo who shows up almost everywhere. He has bumped onto you so many times and provoked different reactions on you. Sometimes he annoys you, but the way he tries to apologize and explain himself every time is actually funny. He draws precious smiles from you and it makes your heart flutters. One day you just openly ask him if he stalks you or something. You think it would be a joke but he chokes on his coke and you have to tap him on the back. “Oh my God! I’m so obvious.” He laments after regaining some air. You burst into laughter finding him the funniest dude in the world.

➹ Jaeyoon:

The stalker who you fall in love with. I mean you start to see him everywhere in the campus and even though you do not really believe in destiny, the high number of “casual” meets with him gets you wondering. It is not that he wants to be noticed by you, but he does not turn the whole thing into a secret mission. You constantly leave home asking yourself whether you are going to see the hot guy again. He makes you glad, so you end up smiling at him. You start talking during your coincidental meeting, you think, until you stop charging everything to the universe responsibility and set your fist date.

➹ Dawon:

The open stalker. You know he stalks you and he knows that you know. You bicker each other doing faces in the distance, but you actually likes him and do not find him a bad person at all. Your favorite place to meet is in the library when you can look him over your book and sometimes watch while he is focused in reading or taking some notes. Sooner or later both of you would be sitting at the same table and talking through messages scratched on your notebooks sheets. You even find his number in a blue folded sheet inside of your bag and wonders how he managed to put it there.

➹ Rowoon:

The confuse stalker. He likes you and wants to see you everyday but he struggles between going all the way and getting closer or keeping to observe you in the distance. He knows that once he approaches you, he will not be able to look at the way you laugh beside your friends with the same liberty he own, since you would eeasily find out about his crush. Unexpectedly you do know he has a big crush on you because the whole college looks at him and you are not excluded. Every time you look directly to him, he looks away or leaves the place. Go get your boy at once!!

➹ Zuho:

Your cute stalker. You never see him (I mean, you actually see but you didn’t know it is him). However he makes his presence be noticed by the mystery flowers he sends you from time to time through random students. You keep them inside books and tell your friends about him. He makes you happy but also extremely curious. After a month, you wonder about the perfect message to adress him the next time someone approaches you with a new flower. And guess what? After you handed your own message to the delivery guy, he just reveals the most pure smile and says “Y/N, this is me this time"

➹Yoo Taeyang:

He is the shiest stalker in the world. He has already decided that he will not talk to you ever, but he cannot stop himself from searching for you in the campus, to just stay there admiring the way you sit and eat your snacks alone sometimes. His friends know about this habit of him because they once caught him doing so and he almost fell deceased on the floor when they offered to ask you to eat lunch with him. One day you get found by one of his friends instead (probably Sanghyuk) and he explains you the entire situation, making you swear to God that you will not tell Taeyang about what he did. Whether you are going to talk to your handsome admirer of not, it is up to you.

➹ Hwiyoung

A dramatic stalker. You do not even imagine, but someone suffers for you and writes love letters that you are never going to receive. “To All the Boys I've Loved Before” vibes, I know, except by the fact that he gathers the courage to talk to you (after almost a year). Despite his desperate feelings, he manages to act normal around you and you become friends for real. To the point that you visit his house and discovers a picture of you inside this book he takes from the bookshelf. It is a pretty picture, to be honest, but it used to be your profile Instagram picture one year ago, what gets you suspecting.

➹Chani:

He stalks you but does not assume he is doing so. I mean he does not associate his acts to the concept of stalking. To name it, he is a stalker in denial, because he is completely sure that you are not more than a pretty girl that he likes to look at. So he just try to be at the same places as you, where he can work on his things while you are there easily reached by his sight. This dude will eventually get noticed by you, which leads the whole situation evolution into you staring at him in suspection.  Not gonna lie, he gets annoyed by you but it is exactly what wakes him up to his real feelings.

[gamerwoo]

[SF9 Imprinted] Zuho: Scary

Anonymous asked: Zuho, something fluff ig but i cant think of something specific 😅 

Anonymous asked: Can I request an imprinted thing for Zuho? Preferably fluffy ending but with angst at the beginning? Maybe with the mate being terrified of him when they find out he’s a werewolf, but they’re trying to be okay with if? Then something happens where the mate is in danger and he saves them and then they start to trust him more? Is that too specific? 😬

Characters: Zuho x female reader

Genre/warnings: werewolf au, college au, angst, fluff, small mention of homophobia at the beginning, alcohol, drugs, idk just a lot of like stereotypical partying stuff and sad shit

Word count: 5,589

Summary: Juho knew that imprinting wouldn’t necessarily be easy since nobody believed in werewolves, but he didn’t expect it to be this difficult. It wasn’t that you didn’t believe in them -- you very much did -- you were just terrified of getting close to him. He assumed you were afraid of him because he was a werewolf, but it was much more than that.

a/n: i’ve written the “mate is afraid of werewolves” trope like, way too much, so i did edit the idea quite a bit. there is angst and fluff, and reader is kinda scared in a way, but it’s not exactly what was requested but i hope it’s still fine lmao (and if the storyline seems familiar it’s because i kinda yoinked what i had done for minho before bc i thought that would fit pretty well)

Previous | Next | Imprinted Masterlist

“What are you doing?” Juho demanded. He was damn near ready to rip Chani’s head off when he saw you lean over and peek out from behind the younger boy. His expression softened for a moment as he saw how wide your eyes got, but he had to focus on Chani. The pup was the reason he was sent out, anyway. “You have school today, you idiot.”

“Juho--”

“You can’t just run away whenever you feel like it, y’know.” Juho continued, scolding the younger boy like a parent would. He stopped when he was in front of Chani, but his attention was mostly on you in his peripherals. He could see the way you played with your fingers and seemed like you wanted to sneak away while he was distracted. “Your grades will slip, your parents will start suspecting things, and--”

“Calm down,” you mumbled, wanting to stick up for Chani but also worried about drawing attention to yourself. You had never been afraid of anyone or anything, but you were afraid of Juho -- just not for the reason one might expect. “The kid needed a break.”

Chani frowned, mumbling, “Don’t call me that.”

Juho’s eyes flickered between you and the younger boy, “A break from what?”

“Some kid was giving him and Hansol shit,” you explained as Chani’s cheeks heated up from embarrassment, “and Chani almost shifted on him for picking on his mate. He came to me because I’m the only one that actually listens to his problems.”

“We listen!” Juho insisted. “And...since when are you and _____ friends anyway, huh?”

You gave Juho a look like you weren’t buying that statement, “You were just accusing him for ‘skipping school for no reason’.”

It was times like this when Juho realized you definitely weren’t the bad person everyone seemed to think you were -- as if you being afraid wasn’t a giveaway that you actually had feelings. You were a good person with – from what he could tell – good intentions, that made poor choices. He still didn’t know why you made those choices, but he wasn’t giving up on his mission to find out. But that would have to wait until after he got you to trust him.

Juho sat in the grass across from the two of you, letting his backpack fall from his shoulders, “What was he picking on the two of you for?”

“For the exact reason you think: we’re dating,” he mumbled, staring at his lap. “And I’m not embarrassed by him or that we’re dating, I just don’t get why people have to be so...I dunno.”

“I know, people can be really ignorant,” the older wolf sighed after Chani sat down beside him in the grass -- you stayed standing. “I’m glad you don’t feel anything negative about imprinting on Hansol. Love is love no matter what, and there’s nothing wrong with you and Hansol being together. Did he say anything back?”

“I left before he could say anything,” Chani sighed, toying with his fingers. “If I stayed any longer, I would’ve shifted. I was shaking so much…”

“Well, I’m not happy you ditched school, but I’m glad you made it here and calmed down,” Juho nodded, reaching over to place a hand on Chani’s shoulder. Then he looked at you, his brown eyes giving you a grateful look. “Thanks, _____.”

You just shrugged, “Don’t thank me, I do this all the time.”

Juho turned back to Chani, “I’ll bring you home when I’m done with classes, okay?”

“I’ll keep an eye on him,” you promised.

“No, you’re going to class,” he stated, giving you a hard look so you knew he wasn’t backing down. “Inseong’s tutoring in the library until 4pm, so Chani can go sit with him.”

You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest, “Since when do you think you’re the boss of me, Baek Juho?”

After the whole car incident, Juho was surprised that you’d stand up to him like that. He’d always known you were typically snarky and stubborn with a bad attitude, but he also knew you were afraid of him. You avoided him like the plague, and especially after punching Inseong’s car right in front of you, he hadn’t seen you even on campus for two weeks. So...maybe you weren’t afraid of him? Or maybe Chani had helped him out and put in a good word?

He still was’t even sure when Chani befriended you.

“She sure told you,” Chani chuckled, making you smirk.

Juho frowed, grabbing the back of Chani’s neck and beginning to push him back toward campus, “Just get to class!”

-

After bringing Chani home, Juho went home to take a quick nap before he started his homework. Well, “quick nap” ended up lasting five hours. When he woke up, he just felt something…off. It was a typical feeling he got with you as a mate, but it never failed to make his heart race as he was always worrying that you were in danger.

You were a “bad girl” type. You drove a motorcycle, you skipped class, you smoked and drank and you were rumored to do drugs -- which Juho found out was true but it was never anything hard. Actually, the first time Juho met you, he thought you were trying to sell drugs to Hyunggu from Hui’s pack. And that day, after the two of you made eye contact, you turned and booked it in the other direction. He knew you knew what he was, and he knew you were afraid.

“Going out to to find _____?” Dawon guessed as Juho rushed to put his shoes on by the door.

“Don’t wait up.” he joked lightly as he left the  house.

He followed the pull as he drove, leading him to some frat house that was clearly having a party. He should’ve known you’d go out on a Friday night, but he ended up sleeping for too long and couldn’t stop you from going. Now, he’d have to find you in the party and fight you to go home.

He went inside, trying to keep to himself, as he just wanted to get you and get out. The crowd was bigger than it usually was, but he knew he could find you just from the pull – normally, he could also just track you with your scent, but it was difficult to pick out over the alcohol and drugs, though it was still faintly in his nose.

After a few minutes of searching, he finally found you in the middle of the sweaty bodies that were gathered to dance in the living room. You smelled strongly of weed and alcohol, but he was just glad you weren’t passed out or something.

It made him kind of sad he only ever saw you smiling and carefree at parties. He wished he could have fun with you and make you smile like this, but it was hard when you actively avoided him and seemed to have fear in your eyes whenever you saw him.

He frowned as he grabbed your wrist and started bringing you to the exit, feeling a bit bad that he was going to be the cause of the smile being wiped from your face.

“Hey!” you whined when you felt yourself being dragged away from your “friends”. You looked up and saw it was Juho, and you tried your best to pull away. “Hey! Juho! Let me go!”

“You know you shouldn’t be here,” he sighed, knowing he sounded more like a parent than anything else. “I’m bringing you home, _____.”

You figured a werewolf would be more fun; more daring. Why was Juho being such a killjoy? 

“Whyyyyy?” you groaned, dragging out the last letter until Juho had to turn around and put a hand over your mouth.

It was high time Juho worked this out with you. How long had he been chasing after you and trying to get you to like him? And he was still nowhere near getting closer to you. He wanted to know why you did bad things like party an unhealthy amount and rely on getting high to feel happy. He knew you weren’t a bad person, so why would you do bad things?

“When I get you home, we’re having a talk,” he stated, indicating he’d have no backtalk about it. He turned back around, this time holding your waist firmly as he guided you out, supporting most of your weight as you wobbled. “I’ll have somebody come pick up your motorcycle.”

“No, I wanna--”

Before you could finish your slurred protest, Juho had turned around, and easily held you over his shoulder, carrying you to his car. You didn’t even bother saying anything, your body hanging limply as he walked. Part of you actually enjoyed the closeness, and you found yourself pouting when he put you down.

“What?” he asked at your expression as he opened the car. “Is this about your bike?”

“No,” you huffed, crossing your arms over your chest.

“So what’s the problem?”

“You let me go!”

He blinked a few times as he processed your words, and then the corners of his mouth tugged up in a smile, his inner wolf rumbling with joy, “I’m sorry. Get in the car, okay?”

You complied, letting him help you just because you liked the tingles his skin left on yours before he buckled you up and closed the door. Once he got in on his own side, he started up the car. You shifted in your seat, pulling your knees to your chest while you stared at him. Maybe if you knew how good it felt to have him touch you, you wouldn’t be so afraid.

No, you’d be even more afraid. You were just too drunk to remember why you avoided Juho.

“Yes?” he chuckled as he pulled away from the side of the road and started toward your apartment.

“How do you always find me?” you wondered.

He reached over to pat your knee, “We’ve already had this conversation, _____.”

Before he could take his hand back, you grabbed it and held in in your own. While Juho’s eyes widened, and he let out a soft, involuntary purr, you didn’t see the big deal in your sloppy mindset.

“What’s this for?” he wondered, his cheeks staining pink.

“I like when you’re close to me,” you admitted with a hiccup at the end that made Juho smile. “Don’t laugh at me.”

“I’m not,” he promised, though he was laughing when he spoke, “I just think you’re being cute.”

“I’m cute?” you repeated, to which he nodded. “Nobody’s ever called me that… Huh…”

Juho glanced over at you, and saw you were smiling to yourself. He just left the conversation there, wanting to get you home as quickly as possible, and it was better if you were in a good mood.

Once at your apartment building, Juho parked his car where he usually did, and called Youngbin to pick up your motorcycle as he carried you on his back up to your floor. He unlocked the door for you as you softly played with his hair, the smile never leaving his face. Finally inside, he carefully set you down on the floor.

Your apartment was extremely small. It was a tiny studio apartment, so your bedroom, living room, and kitchen were all one room. You were thankful you at least had a bathroom, but you didn’t even have a tub – just a very small shower that didn’t even have hot water half the time. You worked one job that wasn’t very good – if you didn’t count the dealing you did on the side – and you were also trying to go to college in an attempt to turn your life around. You were lucky enough to even get this place. You were just happy you weren’t homeless.

“Youngbin’s getting your bike, and he’ll park it in the parking garage.” he told you as you stumbled your way toward your small dresser. “Where’re you going?”

You yanked open one of the drawers before tossing your tight crop top off of your body, letting it drop haphazardly to the floor. Juho just watched, shaking his head as you somehow almost fell over trying to get a over-sized t-shirt out of the drawer.

He walked up to you in only a few steps, taking the shirt from you and turning it right-side-out, “Arms up.”

You complied willingly, enjoying the feeling of having someone care for you. Juho smiled fondly at you as you just stood in front of him in your shorts, and a black bra. He figured he would’ve felt sort of weird being around you while you were half-naked, but he didn’t really care. He just saw it as him taking care of you.

He pulled the shirt over your head before he went into the bathroom in search of something to clean your makeup off your face. While he did that, you took your shorts off and sat down on the mattress, waiting patiently for him.

As soon as Juho sat down across from you, you closed your eyes so he could take off your makeup for you, “Why are you being nice to me? Don’t you hate me like everyone else?”

“I don’t hate you, _____.” he replied, softly wiping off your foundation when you released his wrist. “Don’t you hate me? You always seem so...afraid of me. Is it because I’m a werewolf?”

“No,” you mumbled, closing your eyes so he could clear off the eye makeup, “it’s not that you’re a werewolf. I’m afraid of how I feel.”

“How you feel?” he chuckled. “What does that mean?”

“I think I love you.”

Juho paused, pulling his hand away to look at you. You opened your eyes when you realized he wasn’t putting the wipe to your face again, but you didn’t understand the surprise and confusion on his face. You just stared back at him neutrally.

“You’re afraid that you love me?” he wondered quietly, his voice soft like a faint breeze in the middle of the night. “Why?”

You shrugged like a child, but your response was much less playful. “I've never felt the way I do about you toward anyone else. You make me feel...all weird. But a good weird, so that makes it bad. And you’re a werewolf which is supposed to be strong and cool and badass and like, that makes it even worse because I’m even more attracted to you because of it. I don’t wanna love anybody.”

“_____, why don’t you want to be in love?”

Instead of answering his question, you let out a huff. “Juho, you should go home.”

“I’m staying the whole night to make sure you’re okay in the morning,” he replied, taking the hint that you didn’t want to talk about it, and finishing wiping off your face instead. “Youngbin has to come get your motorcycle keys anyway.”

“But Juho--”

“No ‘but Juho’,” he said, cutting you off. “I don’t hate you, and I don’t care if you're afraid of your feelings for me. I can help you be better if you’ll let me.”

“If you get closer to me, you’ll just get your life ruined,” you blabbered, tripping over your own words as your emotions got the best of you – it didn’t help that you weren’t sober yet, either. “Why won’t you just listen to me?”

“Why don’t you?” he chuckled despite the fact you were clearly upset. “_____, I’m not going anywhere anytime soon. I know you know how imprinting works; I love you no matter what, and I always will. I just don’t like the things you do, but that can be changed.”

“What if it’s too late for me?” you asked, sniffling from the tears that started to fill your eyes.

“It’s not, I promise,” he told you as he stood up to throw the makeup wipe away. “Now lay down, okay?”

You sighed but did as he said, curling up like usual.

Juho was surprised you opened up, even if it was just a little bit. He was getting somewhere, so that was good. Not a lot of it made much sense to him, but it was still something. It also didn’t explain why you were always partying and getting high, but he was sure that would fall into place somewhere. He just had to be patient.

He walked over to the couch, figuring he could sit there until you fell asleep. However you waved him over despite the fact you didn’t even seem to want him to stay to begin with. You just couldn’t resist that feeling of having someone want you around. It was new for you, and you weren’t sober yet. Your mind wasn’t thinking right, so you just went with what your heart felt.

He sat on the mattress, leaning his back against the wall. You pulled him to lay down before laying your head on his shoulder and closing your eyes, deciding your mate was much more comfortable than the cheap pillows you slept on.

As Juho listened to your breathing, you listened to his heartbeat that lulled you to sleep. Juho looked down at your sleeping face, brushing some hair from it.

“I just want to help you, _____…” he sighed, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

-

It was too early for Juho to be having bad feelings. It was the middle of the day on a Thursday, why was he having bad feelings? He had to find out, so he left the campus to go to your apartment and check up on you.

Thankfully, your motorcycle was in it’s usual space, and he sensed your presence when he got to your door. He knocked, calling your name, but he got no answer. He could hear your heartbeat, but he still panicked, knowing you could’ve passed out or something.

He managed to get the door open without using his strength to break it -- your apartment wasn’t really the best or safest place -- and almost cried when he saw you standing in the kitchen with a bowl in one hand, and a lighter in the other. The room was full of smoke, and completely smelled like weed, but fuck, you were okay.

“_____,” he sighed in relief as he closed the door and walked over to you quickly, “why aren’t you at work?”

You just shrugged, putting the bowl back to your lips. Juho quickly pulled it away from you, noticing your bloodshot eyes, and the way they didn’t completely focus on him when you looked at him. There was no doubt in his mind you were completely baked, but he’d never seen you this high, even at a party.

“Don’t shrug at me, give me answers!” he demanded, gripping your shoulders, looking at you with worry. “What happened?”

“I got fired, okay!” you burst, shoving him away angrily. “I had to sell at work because I have no fucking money, and somebody got mad at me because I wouldn’t sell their shit to Chani. They snitched on me to my boss, so I got fired. And now…”

As you spoke, your anger dissipated to fear and sadness. You shook your head, covering your face while you squeezed your eyes shut to keep the tears that filled your eyes from spilling over. This one time, you couldn’t keep your tough front up, and it both frightened and worried Juho. He’d never seen you really cry until now, and he’d never heard your voice break like it had. He’d seen you afraid before, but never this kind of scared or upset.

“I’m going to be homeless, Juho.” you laughed weakly, rubbing your glassy eyes before you looked at up at him. “I’m broke. I fucked up again, and for the second time in my life, I’ll be homeless.”

Second? Juho shook his head, realizing that wasn’t the big issue here. The issue was getting you to come down, and calm down. He took your hand, bringing you to the couch with him to sit. You continued to wipe under your eyes to keep tears from falling, but you’d swipe away the ones that managed to escape, hoping Juho didn’t notice.

But he did notice. He noticed how your lower lip quivered, and your hands shook, and your expression tried to play it off like it was some kind of dumb joke but your eyes were full of fear and uncertainty. It scared him to see you so vulnerable, but he knew this was a step in the right direction.

“_____, listen to me,” he said softly, cupping your face in his hands, forcing you to look into his eyes, “everything will be okay.”

You scoffed, shaking your head as you continued to play it off like everything was okay – something you wouldn’t have been able to manage if you weren’t on drugs that always made you feel giggly, “No it won’t. I know I fucked up, and I know this is a sign that I’ll always be how I am.”

“That’s not true. You can change, you just need help,” he insisted.

You just snorted, pushing his arms away, “I wanna do it on my own. I’ll drag you down with me.”

He sighed deeply, realizing he had to just have this talk with you, “_____, you have to tell me where all of this is coming from. Why do you think so lowly of yourself?”

So you broke and told him, giggling through the whole thing because you found it all funny in a sick, twisted way. You and your life was just one giant shit show, and that was why you didn’t want to fall in love with anyone. You knew you’d ruin that poor person’s life because you were a walking train wreck that couldn’t be fixed. Your parents were killed in a car crash, but none of your family wanted to take you in. Your grandparents were too old to care for you, and your aunt and uncle had kids of their own. They planned on putting you up for adoption, so you ran away before they could. You were on your own at fifteen, going to different women and children shelters until you’d overstayed your welcome. You graduated high school at seventeen, somehow managing to pass your classes. You got accepted to a university because you managed to keep your grades up, but you didn’t have the money to support yourself. That was when you started selling drugs for a girl that stayed at the shelter you were staying in at the time.

From there, you built a name for yourself, and eventually stemmed away from her to do your own thing. You managed to get an apartment – a shitty one, but still your own place – before you landed the job taking orders and answering the phone at a rundown pizzeria nearby. And that was where you were up until the very moment you were fired. After that, everything you slowly built up, while it was very small things to anybody else, came crashing down.

Juho listened to your story without interruptions, though he didn’t like the way you kept laughing and crying at the same time. He almost thought you were hysterical, but you still kept your cool and never panicked.

At the end, he shook his head, missing one thing, “So…why do you go party and get high all the time?”

“Coping,” you shrugged, like it was no big deal. “When I do that, I don’t have to think about…this.” you said, gesturing around you. “My life’s completely fucked, Juho. Who would want this?”

While you giggled about your joke of a life, Juho chewed on his lip, trying to think of the best actions to take. He’d definitely have to bring you to his place, though he knew that the alpha wouldn’t be the happiest about it since Ellie was living with them now. But where did he go from there? There was hardly room for his pack of nine plus Inseong’s mate. How would they fit another person?

“I’ll fix this,” Juho nodded, speaking to both you and himself.

“Stop trying to fix things for me,” you muttered, reaching for the bowl he had put on the coffee table. “I told you that I don’t want to fall in love, and you hanging around isn’t helping that. I’m a lost cause anyway.”

“You,” he began sharply, taking your hand reaching for the drugs, and forcing you to look at him again so you’d know he was serious, his eyes turning a bright red that almost hypnotized you, “are far from a lost cause. I will help you, even if it’s the last thing I ever do. And I don’t care if you don’t want to fall in love because you’re afraid that you’ll sabotage yourself. I’m not going anywhere. In fact, the first thing I’m doing is bringing you to my place.”

So he picked you up on his back, and brought you to his car. He figured your bike would be safe in the garage until somebody came back for it, so he left with the few clothes you had, and whatever small number of other belongings you had.

You were still completely baked when you got to Youngbin’s, and the wolves’ noses scrunched up before you even entered. When they saw you, they finally understood where the smell was coming from.

“Why would you bring her here like that?” Inseong demanded. “Ellie’s upstairs, and--”

Juho told you to go to the only bedroom in the apartment before he explained the situation to his pack. They had to admit, they felt bad previously judging you, so they let Juho do whatever he had to do.

After Juho got you a bottle of water, he went to check on you. You were staring at the bed like you were staring at buried treasure. He just stood beside you, watching you until you finally noticed his presence.

“Do you see this?!” you gasped, gesturing to the bed. “You have a bed frame! Holy shit, you guys are like, loaded!”

He chuckled, opening the water bottle for you, “Sure, _____. Drink some water, please.”

You took the bottle without complaint since you were starting to get cotton mouth. You drank almost half the bottle before handing it back and flopping down on the bed. Juho screwed the cap back on as he sat beside you, trying to think about what to say next.

“I know I’ll regret this when I’m sober,” you said out of nowhere, staring at the floor like you were spaced out. Juho just looked at you, waiting for you to continue. You looked over at him, your eyes still bloodshot and glossy. “Please don’t make fun of me for it later.”

“I never would,” he swore, placing a warm hand over one of yours. “But you need to stop running away from me to try to save me or yourself or whoever. I’m going to love you no matter what, and I want to help you get better.”

“It’s not the help,” you shook your head, “it’s the getting close to people. If my family didn’t want me…I can’t see why you would.”

“Well, I do,” he stated surely, moving his hand off of yours in favor of putting an arm around your shoulders and pulling you to his side. “You’re always taking gambles; doing things you shouldn’t do. Consider this a gamble.”

“My biggest one yet,” you giggled, back to your drug-induced self.

“Alright, you need to sleep this off,” he decided, gently guiding you to lay down. “I’ll check up on you soon, okay?”

You were almost giddy from getting to sleep in a bed that was off the floor. Juho tucked you in before pressing a kiss to your forehead, “Come find me if you need anything.”

“Thanks, Juho.”

“Anything for you.”

-

Juho opened the door as soon as you sat up, looking around the room. Unfortunately, you remembered everything, and you were immediately embarrassed as soon as he entered the room. Your face heated up as you cast your eyes downward, but he was able to tell how you were feeling.

“We don’t have to talk about it, you know,” he told you, slipping into the room and closing the door behind him.

“So what, we just move on from it like it didn’t happen?” you asked with a scoff. “I know we have to talk about it.”

“I promise I won’t ever leave you,” he declared, sitting on the edge of the bed beside where you were laying. “I know it’s still scary for you, but you have to trust me. I’ll help you find a new job, I’ll help you find a place to live, and I’ll help you get sober.”

“What if I ruin your life too?” you asked quietly, staring at your lap that was still covered with a blanket.

“The only way my life can be ruined is if you leave it,” he said, giving you a warm half-smile. “You know, when you were drunk, you told me you liked being around me.”

Your cheeks blushed a deeper red, refusing to meet his gaze, “Well, drunk _____ also doesn’t make the best decisions. She’s not to be trusted.”

“I know you meant it. You feel the pull, _____. Don’t resist the puuuuull,” he sang playfully, leaning in as he tried to look at your blushing face.

You laughed, shoving him away lightly, “Dude, quit it!”

“I know you love the affection, _____. You fell asleep on me, you held my hand, and you complained when I didn’t carry you. Just…stop trying to keep me away. If I didn’t mean what I said, I would’ve given up already. I love you now, and I always will. I won’t go anywhere.”

You finally glanced up at him after a few moments of not saying anything, and just mulling over his words. He raised his eyebrows expectantly.

“You better not tell anyone I was clingy,” was all you said.

“Are,” he corrected, brushing some hair from your face, and smirking when you leaned into his touch. “You are clingy. But I love it.”

-

A few months later, everything was different. You not only worked at a cute little boutique near campus, but you snagged a side job tutoring a few underclassmen since you were great with math after dealing drugs for those few years – and boy, did some of these kids pay well.

You were able to buy a nicer studio apartment in a better neighborhood – you still didn’t have a bed frame, but you had a decent mattress to sleep on – which made both you and Juho feel better about you living alone. You kept insisting on him moving in, but he refused until he managed to get a job to help pay rent.

“And where do you think you’re going, _____?” Juho smirked as he walked in on you checking yourself out in the mirror hung on your wall.

You spun around, raising an eyebrow as you slowly walked toward him hands on your hips, “Are you in charge of me?”

“Considering I can pick you up well over my head,” he hummed, shutting the door behind him as he entered, “I’d say I can. You promised to quit parties, _____.”

“I also promised to let Dawon borrow my motorcycle, yet that never happened either,” you pointed out. “It won’t be as bad if you come with me, right?”

Your mate made a face, his nose scrunching up at the mere thought of the scents that would attack his nostrils, “Still bad.”

Juho was not at all what you thought werewolves would be. He wasn’t dangerous or badass. He was a cat dad -- which was ironic since he was basically a giant dog -- who liked staying in and cuddling. He purred when you played with his hair, and his want for kisses never seemed to run out -- even if you did have a reputation to keep up. Juho was a soft and clingy werewolf, and you absolutely loved him more for it.

“I won’t bite this time!” you promised.

“Look, since you’re all dressed up,” he began with a smile creeping onto his face, “how about we go out tonight? We haven’t been on a date in a while.”

You couldn’t be happier with the way things were going with Juho. You wished you’d let him into your life properly a long time ago.

“Like where?” you quizzed.

“Where do you feel like going.”

“Party.”

He sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose, “You’re impossible.”

“We already knew this, yes,” you nodded with a laugh. “C’mon, Juho, please?”

He groaned, rubbing his face with his hands, “For three hours, and you’re only allowed three drinks; no drugs.”

You grinned, grabbing his hand as you raced for the door, “Can we take my bike?”

“Can I drive?” he wondered.

You snorted as you dragged him to the stairs, thinking the elevator wasn’t fast enough for your liking, “No.”

He rolled his eyes playfully, matching his tone, “You love that bike more than me.”

“I love you way more, I swear,” you laughed.

Because you did, and you both thanked whatever greater power was out there that fate brought you two together.