#coldplay is one of the first artists i started listening to on my own and my mom remembers them from around when parachutes came out

[monnikiska]

my mom got us tickets to see coldplay next year?!!!?!?? we were so sure we wouldn't get them this doesn't feel real??

[umlewis]

Lewis Hamilton Wants To Make Music, But First He Wants To Make the World A Better Place

On the heels of a new Marriott Bonvoy partnership, the F1 star talks about creating memorable moments and finding inspiration in music

By our estimates, Lewis Hamilton has traveled more than 80,000 miles this year, both for his job as one of the premiere drivers in Formula 1 and for leisure, as a perpetual tourist who’s always looking for his next adventure. And that’s not counting the 60-plus laps he drives on the track each race day, either. It’s no surprise, then, that Hamilton craves a little bit of stillness when he finds himself alone, and for as long as he can remember Hamilton has found his solace in music. "Music is the biggest part of my life," Hamilton says. "It's the most important thing that keeps me sane." For the F1 champ, making music has become a necessary outlet, a personal space to create that's all his own. It's been nice, he explains, "In a sport where you don't feel like you could fit in, where you know you're different but you can't really talk too much and there's no way to express yourself other than in a car, to then have music and be able to put my feelings out into something." The F1 star spoke to Rolling Stone during the recent Dutch Grand Prix in Zandvoort, where he partnered with Marriott Bonvoy to offer Bonvoy members an exclusive meet-and-greet in the Mercedes-AMG Petronas F1 Team area.

"We are traveling to 24 different places around the world [each year] and I think one of the most difficult things when you are traveling is often missing your home bed," Hamilton says. "I've traveled to cities and been booked at a hotel, walked straight into my room and left," he continues, "so to find the right comfort has been a discovery process." Marriott, the driver says, has "been so accommodating in all these different places that I've been to." Part of that has been finding a menu that caters to the famous vegan's plant-based diet. "Marriott is really, really accommodating. They find things to make you," Hamilton says. Another has been finding space for the driver to make music while on the road. "I carry one suitcase that has my music equipment," Hamilton reveals, "so every time I get to a hotel, I always set up my mic." Hamilton's musical aspirations started at an early age. His father played in a reggae band, which inspired him to pick up a guitar at thirteen. He bought a turntable when he was sixteen, eventually filling in for local DJs at London nightclubs when he was old enough to go out. He wrote his first song, an R&B track called Never Again, when he was 21. After that, "I was hooked."

Lately, Hamilton has been going through waves of inspiration for the type of music he wants to make. He quietly dropped a track with Christina Aguilera for her 2018 album Liberation (under the artist name XNDA), and he name drops everyone from Wizkid to Coldplay and Billie Eilish when asked about favorite artists. Over the last year he's been listening to"“a lot of afro beats," and he enthusiastically nominates Megan Thee Stallion's Mamushi for 2024 "Song of the Summer" honors. "It's sick, I love that song. That's probably the coolest track out there right now," he gushes. When it comes to his own music though, Hamilton admits he's still unsure of what he wants to make - and what he wants to say. "I go through these phases where I'm doing a lot, I'm writing a lot and I'm recording a lot, and really feeling inspired," he says, "and then I go through these periods where I just stop doing it. I do it less and less and less, and then I stop setting my mic up." For someone who's known for his daring overtakes and hairpin turns on the track, does the thought of releasing music scare him? The soft-spoken star demures when asked about his musical endeavors, revealing that he has "no plans on ever giving [the songs] to anybody," at least for now. "I never got into music, to put the music up," he says.

Further complicating things, at least from this perspective, has been Hamilton's incredibly close relationship with his fans. Few drivers are as well-liked as the Brit, and few athletes have given back to their sport the way Hamilton has, whether it's signing autographs at the airport, making frequent public appearances, or doing intimate meet-and-greets with Marriott Bonvoy. He's almost always taking time out for fans at every race weekend, and yet there's a prevailing feeling of resignation when Hamilton talks about the fandom, almost as if he's expecting himself to do more, to say more, to sign more, even if it hasn't been asked of him. "From a driver's perspective, for an individual or group of people to decide to support you out of only twenty [drivers]? It's a real privilege," he says, "and you feel like you're on a journey with those people that you connect with. So when you lose, you lose together, and when you win, you win together." Hamilton tells a story about one of his favorite fan interactions, which isn't really a single instance, but rather a collective memory. "Most fans are so kind to go out of their way. They've either written me a letter, or they're people making bracelets, or people that bring me gifts," he says. "I've got this one really sweet lady, for example, that's traveled to quite a few of the European races, and she keeps turning up and giving me books of poems, and there'll be a book on history, and she would have gone through and put tabs on all the important parts of the book. People are so, so sweet," he continues, "and you feel really bad, because everywhere you go it's like they give, give, give, and you don't. I don't carry around gifts with me, and often I've just come from the airport. So you feel like when someone gives you something, you're supposed to try and give something back, and it always feels like you've not done enough."

Of course, even fairweather fans will tell you Hamilton has done a lot for the sport, breaking barriers as the first-and only-black F1 driver to date, while ushering in a new generation of global superstars, with buzzed-about partnerships with Tommy Hilfiger, Dior, and, yes, Marriott Bonvoy too. Releasing music would elevate him into an even greater stratosphere of stars, and perhaps finally provide him with something tangible to "give back." But Hamilton is also a consummate perfectionist. In his sport races are often decided by mere thousandths of a second, and one tiny error could have your car crashing out. In the same way, he wants to make sure any music he releases can stand on its own, recalling how excited he was when he played his Aguilera duet for friends and they thought it was some "young artist" that had just come out. The whole world knows what Hamilton can do when it comes to F1. If he's going to enter the music industry he wants to be taken just as seriously, to give himself a similar chance to make it to the top. There's still work to be done, Hamilton explains; new sounds to explore, new beats to create, new thoughts to take from pen to tune. So for now, Hamilton is just making music for himself. Maybe he's not ready to release his music to the world just yet, but Hamilton is determined to use his metaphorical microphone to inspire others. As he approaches two decades in the sport, has he started to think about his legacy? "I find legacy talk really awkward, because I don't wake up every day and think of a legacy that I want to leave," he says. "I'm not working towards a legacy. I work towards, ultimately, trying to be the best version of myself, in the hope that the decisions I make, the things I say and the things that I do hopefully have a positive impact on people." I think about what I am going to do with this platform or this microphone that I have, and what I can actually do with the little time that we have on this planet," he continues. And then, he says, "What can I do to leave the world a better place than when I started? I would imagine for all the good people in the world, it's probably what they want to do also, right? That's what I'm thinking about every day."

[29daffodils]

When you get this you have to answer with 5 of your fav songs and then tag your mutuals to do the same :) (no pressure <3)

thanks for the tag @peachym00 🩷🌸 i would have done this under the reblog chain but just didn't feel like scrolling so much 1 in the morning I'm so sorry 🫣

so here's some all time favourites and current ones. might be a little more than 5 songs. but oh well. when have i followed rules 👀

in no particular order :

1. yellow by coldplay

this is the song that helps me not give up sometimes. in my incredibly lonely life, this gives me hope that even if no one else is by me to tell me they love me, maybe one day i will love myself.

2. make my sun shine by swim deep

this is the song i discovered through my favourite BL manhwa "the shape of your love" and never looked back. this was also the first time i ever saw music used in a manhwa, music that was readily available and of course i fell in love with the mc who was quite similar to myself. this song is peppy and sweet and just so fluffy it can rot your teeth.

3. the aspidistra flies by stars

i found this song through a sasunaru fic once upon a time when i still used ffn. the fic was great and so is this song. a perfect ode to love, if you ask me. i loved it so much that i actually wrote a fic to it for my favourite boys and I'm still not over it. it's been over a decade.

4. stranger by jeff satur

jeff has so many good songs and I'm fairly new to thai pop artists, but god damn, this man knows how to write love songs. this is my favourite from him simply because no one talks about it and the atmosphere it creates. I'm a sucker for rare things lol, be it a manhwa or this song. and maybe i have a thing for snow and cold and relationships falling apart and mending at the same time. i dunno. i love the melancholy in this song.

5. first love by BTS (min yoongi)

You say don't leave like this Don't worry even if I leave You'll do well on your own I remember when I first met you Before I knew it you grew up

min yoongi, the man that you are. i love pretty much everything by him. I'm also new to BTS's music but this guy is something else. i started with his solos and then listened to BTS. but goddamn, the moment i heard this one, i was done for. this could have been a tie with amygdala or snooze (both of those are my favourites), but the passion in this is unmatched to me and, well, this reminds me of the person i lost. somehow it feels nice to know someone else felt the way i felt back then. also it always makes me cry.

p.s. : i also discovered this song through an incredible taejin fic lmao so if you wanna read that, i'll drop a link.

some honourable mentions :

1. epiphany by BTS (kim seokjin)

this is the first bts song i ever listened to, back before i even cared about any kpop. let's just say, i hope i learn to love myself too.

2. paratiisi by ville valo & agents

this is a song i found after i lost my best friend to suicide. i was recced this by her cousin and i instantly fell in love with it. sometimes it reminds me of her, though V's taste was more sabotage by chisu 😂

3. moonchild by RM

this is the song that gives me hope these days. that's all i gotta say.

4. awake by BTS (kim seokjin)

this is the song that puts into words my current state of mind. i really am in a super shitty place at the moment and i dunno if i'll ever get out of here but i wanna hope.

5. diphylleia grayi by jonghyun

yeah okay this song just makes me howl cry alright. i love it very much even though i haven't dared look up the lyrics. i hold most of jonghyun's songs very close to my heart. so.

ahhhh i think this is it! tagging @boyslovecorner @ae-azile @lilitblaukatz @thisautistic @goodbyeapathy8 @justfionn and if anyone else wants to do it! feel free to ignore otherwise!

edit : tagging @skyfish7 in this because i've finally found her!!!!

[alishasthoughts]

Review #1

Midas By Wunderhorse. Released 30th August 2024

—————-

The long wait for Midas by Wunderhorse is over! The album is here. As i saw it was released on Spotify, i rushed to grab my headphones, turned the volume up all the way, and just listened.

Let’s begin!

Midas- Track 1

Midas starts us off strong, a good guess of what the album is going to be, it is one of my personal favourites, it is so incoherent but so understandable in one of the best ways possible. 5/10

Rain- Track 2.

Hey! i like this song. but i don’t think it’s one of their strongest songs on this album. i can imagine the moshpits that are going to come from this song. i don’t have much to add for this song. 3/10.

Emily- track 3. such a beautifully sad song, so many emotions are being poured out into the instruments, the vocals at the beginning of the song makes me think of someone trying to pretend everything is okay, and as the song progresses Jacob Slater gives up and has enough and needs to just let them go. an absolutely beautiful song about heartache, loss and grief. 6/10

Silver- Track 4

I don’t have a lot to say about Silver, i think it’s a beautiful song and an amazing song to come after Emily, i feel like this song is the “we’re both broken but we can be broken together” anthem. 4.5/10

Arizona- Track 5

My favourite song on the album!! Midas is really good but nothing compares to Arizona for me ! it’s so beautifully written, it’s so beautifully constructed and the lyrics give me a sense of longing and yearning i feel jacob slater was feeling when he wrote the album. (although i swear i’ve heard “where do you go to my love” somewhere before) It is just a beautiful song. 10/10

Superman- Track 6

Now i might get absolutely dragged for this opinion and that is okay. i felt that Superman was very coldplay sounding, which is not a bad thing okay? Coldplay are one of the biggest most influential bands going, a comparison to them is never a bad thing! it’s overall a good song and beautifully written. i give it a 3.5/10.

July- Track 7

I think July is one of their best singles, the instant goosebumps i get from the first breakdown in the song, i got them when i listened to the song for the first time. i get them now. the repeated lyrics of “i’m ready to die” make me imagine someone begging someone to just take him and his own struggles seriously, i think it is a very heavy (lyrically and musically in a way) song to put on an album, it’s raw, it’s opening yourself up to someone in the most authentic way possible. the last “i’m ready” and the last note of the song that gets dragged out makes me picture a heart monitor finally flatlining giving the imagery and sense of relief he got what he was begging for . 7/10

Cathedrals- track 8

Cathedrals to me is all of the cliches of song writing put into a song, i like how the instruments have been played, the vocals were also very good. this is definitely a weak song on the album. 2/10

Before we reach the end songs of this album, i would like to state that; i am a new wunderhorse fan! you got me! and i am not a writer!!! but i thought i would just share my unbiased opinions as someone new to this artist, i am very fond of this genre (rock according to google) and i think Wunderhorse have put out an amazing album, no album can be absolutely perfect start to finish and what they are doing with only 882k monthly listeners (Spotify) they have made something new and pretty amazing!

okay back to it!

Girl- track 9.

Hmmm.. what do i think about Girl? I think it’s a catchy song, a very sweet meaningful song which is quite a change to their previous songs, but it proves that Wunderhorse can write happy (if that’s the right word?) song. 4.5/10

Aeroplane- track 10 (the end)

I think Aeroplane is a good end to the album, the track is 8 minutes long but as you listen to it, it really doesn’t feel like 8 minutes. it’s a beautifully written song, musically and lyrically. i don’t have much more to say (got a bit common for me to say towards the end didn’t it!)

Overall, Midas is a pretty solid album, I think the whole thing flows very well. the “heavier” songs weren’t all smashed together to give us a really strong and fast half of an album and then the other half just being slow wanting the vibes to come back up (**cough** bleachers self titled **cough**).

i think a lot of the songs were written with a lot personal touches and it felt like Jacob Slater and the whole band let us into their thoughts and emotions and their own struggles. I can see this album being very personal to myself and a lot of people around me.

the only question i have is. What’s next?

[thepermanentrainpress]

THE PERMANENT RAIN PRESS INTERVIEW WITH ALEX FRASER

Alex Fraser loves to make music and share it with an audience. The Vancouver Island producer and singer-songwriter released his debut EP Clarity in March and in August, was named the winner of Unsigned BC's Song of the Summer with his west coast dance track "Summertime High."

We chatted with the artist about his background in music, influences, the making of Clarity, and enjoying the art as a performer.

What can you share about your background in music, and how/when that passion first formed?

I first started performing live when I was 12 years old with music groups from my middle school. However, I didn’t begin singing publicly until I was 14. I started out with playing the drums, before diving into vocal groups during middle school and high school.

You co-produce your music. What training do you have, and how did you develop these skills in order to have more creative control in the process?

I enrolled in a couple online classes to pick up some basic training, but for the most part, I am self taught. It has been a really useful tool, especially since I am able to put my own unique elements on a track before I take it to a producer for further work.

Your music is very emotive. How would you describe your sound to new listeners, and what inspires you in the music you like to create?

I try to make music that will uplift and inspire people. I write from the heart, whether it be a slow song, something more upbeat, happy or sad. But I always try and include a positive, uplifting message within my projects.

You are influenced by Coldplay, The Weeknd and Kygo. What do you enjoy about these artists in particular, and what aspects do you hope to emulate in your own music?

Coldplay’s “Believe in Love” message is one that I try and include in my writing. They are such a positive uplifting band, with lyrics that pull you in, and connect you to each word of every song. On the production side of things, The Weeknd and Kygo have some amazing synth elements, which has provided me with some fantastic production ideas, that I have incorporated into building my own unique sound.

You’ve worked with prolific music producer, Steve Kroeger, on some of your releases. What can you say about your working relationship, and how he’s helped you realize your vision for your sound?

Steve is an incredible artist and producer. He also happens to be the first producer that I have co-produced with. His workflow and organization has led to many amazing sessions, and I am honoured to have been able to share the room with him on most of my projects.

Your music is heavily electronic based, but you also play piano (showcased in “Lost Soul”) and have some wonderful acoustic videos on YouTube. Tell me about the duality in sound, and your decision to keep the majority of your releases in the EDM/pop sphere?

I decided to lead my music into a pop, mainstream direction, in hopes to try and blend in with other successful acts in my genre. "Lost Soul" was a song that I wrote in 15 minutes, but just felt like one of those that needed to be raw and stripped back. And I do enjoy creating acoustic music. Future projects may be leading in that direction.

How would you describe your process as a songwriter - from recording thoughts and ideas, to finishing a song?

It really depends on each song. But I usually sit down at the piano, feel out some chords, and let the lyrics mold around a rough structure. Then, I get into production elements once I have solid groundwork formed for a track. I usually spend a few months on each song, to make sure it is the best it can possibly be. Both from a structure and production point of view.

Your song, “Summertime High,” was named as Unsigned BC’s Song of the Summer. Tell us about your submission, released in 2021, and what overall message/vibes you hoped listeners took away?

"Summertime High" was written during the height of the Covid 19 pandemic. The thought for that song was to write a summer anthem to make people feel good, and let them know that those tricky times would not linger on forever. Better days were ahead.

What did the win mean to you when you received the notification?

Winning this competition was such a special moment for me. Not only just as a performer, but also as a writer and producer. I’m very grateful to the entire team at Unsigned BC and to the judges for choosing my song, and opening doors to new opportunities.

Your debut EP, Clarity, was released in March. What are you the proudest of in your journey to its release?

Clarity is a title that has been around for a while, but one that has a very special meaning to me. And I felt that it would be nicely suited for this project. 7 years prior to the EP release, I got quite sick, and was unwell for several months. Since that time, I have grown stronger, and have learned to appreciate every single moment of every single day. The 7 songs on the project are put in an order to tell a story of a struggle, but an eventual overcoming of those difficult times. It is definitely my most proud project to date.

Which is your favourite song off the EP and why?

"Lost Soul" would probably be my favourite song off of the EP. It’s one of those songs that is raw and stripped back, but that’s what I like about it. It captures the story that I wanted to tell.

You’ve filmed a few music videos over the past few years, and have collaborated with a local team at Runegate Studio. How did that relationship start, and have you enjoyed working with Adam and Danny?

Adam and Danny are an amazing team to work with. We first met in 2021, and they have done all of my video projects since. They know how to make a video look flawless, and have provided incredible direction with each project that we have filmed.

Have you always felt comfortable in front of a camera?

I would say so. It’s a part that comes with being a performing music artist. You're always in the spotlight. And it’s just something that I’ve gotten used to. And for my own projects, working with a team like Adam and Danny, just makes the process so much easier.

What do you enjoy about being an artist on Vancouver Island, and what can you say about the connections you’ve made in the community?

I love Vancouver Island. The Victoria music scene is a very close knit family. We all know each other, and we all support one another. It’s a really good community. I wouldn’t be performing as often as I do without the support of my incredible peers.

You’re a seasoned performer, and have played over 25 shows this year. How has your live set developed in 2023, and how have you grown as a performer?

Being on the stage on a weekly basis definitely provides confidence when playing a live show. It took time over the years for me to feel comfortable on stage in front of an audience. But playing as many shows as I have so far this year, I have learned to control my nerves, relax and enjoy the art of performing.

Your first music festival performance was at Five Acre Shaker in Port Alberni earlier in August. How was that experience?

Playing a music festival has been a huge goal of mine for a while. The Five Acre Shaker Festival was an awesome first time experience. The staff were so friendly, and I also owe a huge thank you to the Zattzoo Family for providing the opportunity to perform. It was an experience that I will never forget.

You’re a regular at pubs in Victoria. What can you say about pub crowds, and how their reception to your music has motivated you?

Pub crowds in Victoria are awesome. When I get the opportunity to play a packed room, and have the crowd sing along, it is such a huge boost. It definitely motivates me to pursue music as more than just a hobby. But as a possible career path.

What can you share about the new music you’ve been writing and recording? Do you have an anticipated release date (or month)?

I have a couple new songs in the works, and will be heading over to Vancouver this month to track a third song. Can’t say too much about the projects at the time, but I’m really excited to share new music soon.

Our signature question: If you could be any ice cream flavour, which would you be and why?

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough for sure. Definitely one of the best.

-

Thanks to Alex for answering our questions! To stay updated with his new music and projects, follow Alex on Instagram, and visit his Facebook and YouTube.

Photo credit to: Alvin Lyndon Cassell

[bimbinis]

I watched this video once by a dude called Timbah on Toast about his experiences with dubstep music and how formative it was in his life to be part of a community of people all united by their shared love for a music genre and it made me really sad bc I never had that and moreover I feel like I could have had that.

When I was 11 I discovered indie music through, I am not kidding, the SpongeBob Movie soundtrack. I owned (still own) the CD which has a track not actually featured in the movie (worst kind of soundtrack track) called They'll Soon Discover by The Shins, which I liked so much I started looking for more music by The Shins. They quickly became my favorite band.

This was also around the time I got a secondhand mp3 player as a gift from a family friend, which was the first music listening device I had just for me. Prior to that, most of the music I listened to was shit my siblings already/also liked (like Disney star acts), also due to them having received mp4 players from my parents but not me. Now for the first time in my life, I had a favorite music artist that was something that belonged to just me.

Through The Shins I found out about a bunch of related bands. There was this website that was like, a pseudo radio thing that random songs within a genre or a range of similarity and that's how I discovered Arcade Fire and The Decemberists. There were a few others like Band of Horses and Death Cab For Cutie but they never really did it for me. It was mostly the first two and occasionally the 3rd one. Through my brother I also discovered Of Monsters and Men and The Naked and Famous, which didn't count as "belonging to me" like the other ones, but they did add to my indie repertoire.

At that point I was ripe for joining some sort of indiehead community. The problem is, there wasn't any I could join. At the time I didn't have a good grasp of English to join gringo discussions about it and when I tell you indie was completely unheard of in Brazil (at the very least among my 11-14 yo peers and old geezer teachers) I mean it. Arcade Fire at least from what I know played at Lollapalooza a few times but The Shins literally never ever had any success here. As I mentioned earlier, I had to get their CD imported from the US, and it was my least favorite album too. Unfortunately it was also the cheapest so it was the one I went with.

It doesn't help that my only reference for how to discuss your favorite band was my sister who fangirled hard for Paramore at the time. And like, her favorite band was a former garage band comprised of goofy, pretty 20 somethings who started it as friends in highschool. My favorite band was comprised of seasoned industry professionals with no personal ties to each other hired by a 40 year old father of one with a receding hairline. I'm pretty sure most of their fans have always been other white dads whose vinyl collections were started at the time vinyl was the norm rather than vintage. So you may understand how I felt a little lost with the lack of fandomizing discussion around them.

By the time indie had a breakthrough in Brazil, I had already more or less given up and moved on to other things. The Shins hadn't put out an album in 3 years and they wouldn't until after 2 more. Same thing for Arcade Fire, not helped by the fact I was never a fan of Reflektor. Of Monsters and Men, which did actually make it kind of big in Brazil, came out with an album in 2015 that left me underwhelmed. It's hard to maintain enthusiasm all by yourself like that in such a dire context.

I think most of the things I continued to listen to (thanks to 8tracks) were still described as indie, but they were clearly very different from my original faves. And regardless, I didn't like any of the things that did make it big. I always thought Arctic Monkeys was overrated and I refuse to accept that people call fucking Coldplay and Imagine Dragons indie. I know indie eventually became the tv commercial genre anyway but everything those fucking "bands" have ever put out has been basically ready made car commercial jingles.

At the time my favorite band had now become twenty one pilots, and when they had a big break in Brazil I got really excited at the prospect of finally having a local community of people who liked the same music I liked, but then I got so ruthlessly mocked for liking them that I subsequently grew to despise them. After that my favorite band was Mother Mother, but by then I had lost interest in finding a community of people with similar taste in music to me. I just resigned myself to being a loner in my corner with my music taste I wasn't sharing with anyone anymore bc I didn't wanna be mocked again.

Then for the next 6 years I proceeded to avoid discussions of musical preferences and just started saying I listen to a little bit of everything until that turned out to be considered cringe too and I just started saying I just listen to basic bitch shit so people can't accuse me of that first. Now at almost 22 I'm desperately trying to figure out what my taste in music is, both feeling self conscious that I don't even understand enough about music to give a straight answer about what I like when my taste is too basic to be this undecided while also being self conscious that I care about this at all.

I kinda wish I'd stuck to my guns at 11. Sometimes I feel like that was the age I peaked at. I did everything with such earnestness and enthusiasm, with such a lack of pretension that I can't find in me today. I listened to music I liked bc I liked it, be it the SpongeBob Best Day Ever album (which I also owned) that I was considered too old to like by my peers, be it my favorite band whose other fans were all middle aged white Americans. I read any books I wanted without worrying that they were either too childish or too pretentious to be reading and without worrying that I didn't have enough time on this earth to read everything I "should" read. I drew the things I wanted to and was often proud of the results and whenever I wasn't I just drew them again and again until I was.

There's a lot of reasons why I'm glad I'm an adult. I'm really not asking to go back to 11 when I had just gotten enrolled into military school and the 4 years ahead of me in there seemed like they were gonna last an eternity. But sitting down here now in front of this hospital smoking alone worrying about everything I have to take care of in my life, and how after those things there'll be more things to take care of, I kinda wish I could feel like I did when I listened to The Shins back then. Like when I listened to Gone For Good under the pouring rain and the girl I would find out I was in love with tried to get me to come inside the school building so I wouldn't catch a cold. Like when I listened to Those to Come while watching the sunrise after a night of insomnia. Like when I sang Australia with my cousin playing the guitar to it. Like when I listened to They'll Soon Discover on the way home from school in the bright sunlight and thought "today is my day".

Also I burned my thumb with my lighter just now and it hurts like a motherfucker

[johannesviii]

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2021

A pretty solid year for pop music, all things considered, even if 2020 was juuuuuust a bit better. Outside of the top 100, however, some absolutely incredible stuff dropped this year, and it forced me to make the longest “unelligible songs” list I’ve ever had to make for these posts.

Also I can’t put Blinding Lights at #1 twice according to my own rules, but yeah. Yeah. Still can’t get enough of it.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

No song that I already put on a previous list is elligible.

Of course there will probably be stuff in French somewhere on this post. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound-to-color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

So. Uh. Again. How was your 2021?

Still managed to work from home a lot. Still managed to not catch anything, miraculously. Had to deal with some heavy family drama, but I managed. Also this was the first year I spent without using my deadname for official stuff and yeah. The joy is real. I still miss concerts, and my friends, but hey, they need to stay safe too, so that’s okay. I drew a lot. A looooooot. And I wrote stuff, too. I can’t believe I’m actually writing stories even though “words” are still such a tricky thing for me as a general rule.

-

But oh boy, let’s start with the good or interesting albums that came out in 2021 or in late 2020, because um. Holy Shit?

Coldplay released Music of the Spheres. It’s... not great, actually it’s really bad, but I don’t get the hatred around it, and it has some genuinely excellent singles, and I’m sad none of them is elligible ; see you on the Unelligible Songs list!

I was never fond of Halsey, but the simple fact that Nine Inch Nails contributed to If I can’t have love I want power makes it interesting to me, and there’s some good songs on it (have you heard I am not a woman I’m a god? What a banger). I’ll take it.

Lil Nas X finally has an album, and it’s, of course, Montero, and it absolutely kicks ass, and I hope everyone who kept pretending he was a one hit wonder without any real skills is eating their words now. Because it’s everything I ever wanted from this artist. Too bad my fave song from it has to go on the Unelligible list.

Arca dropped not one, not two, not three but four albums and it was so recent my head is still spinning a bit, to be honest. I’ll talk more about her later, but yeah, for now: Kick ii, Kick iiii and Kick v good

Epica released Omega and I’m pretty much still trying to recover from it too, and the fact it’s in the middle of this list of good albums is very telling about the general quality of music this year. Here’s Abyss of time - Countdown to singularity, you’re welcome.

Sinner Get Ready by Lingua Ignota is impeccable and also absolutely terrifying. That’s it. Send tweet

Porter Robinson released Nurture and I beg you to listen to it in full if you haven’t already. It’s such a great album, with lyrics about overcoming depression and living your life, and struggling to make art but still pulling through, and I can get enough of it. So, so wonderful.

And yeah you expected this but uhhhhhhh Arca also made Kick iii and... excuse me? What is this? Who gave you the right to make that insane blend of musical genres and crank it up to eleven to make it sound almost as abrasive as industrial music? What the f█ck was that. Why can’t I stop listening to it. Why is Ripples so addictive. Why is the last track (Joya) so immaculate compared to everything before it. W H Y

For the life of me, I can’t decide which one of the two final albums I want to talk about is my favorite one, so yeah, f█ck it, you get two “best albums of 2021″. It was nearly THREE because uh, Kick iii exists, but it dropped in December and so it didn’t have as much time to sink in. I’m pretty sure it’s actually better than the other two, but uh. yeah.

The first one is Screen Violence by Chvrches. I swear, I tried to like their previous albums, and there’s a lot of songs I love on them - Under the Tide is one of my favorite songs of all time at that point. But yeah, no, the albums themselves never really clicked for me. And then there was Screen Violence, and I have no idea what happened, but that one clicked for me so hard I’m pretty sure I’ve listened to it half a hundred times since it came out this summer. How not to drown would top my list in a heartbeat if it was elligible. There isn’t a single bad song on that disc. What happened? I have no idea, but I’m so, so glad it exists.

The second one actually came out in 2020, but I only listened to it in full once the physical version dropped in early 2021, and it basically ruled my entire year. Because hi, I’m Johannes, and I have terrible taste in music, and Post Human: Survival Horror by Bring Me The Horizon had exactly ZERO RIGHTS to go that hard. Zero. None. Nada. What the f█ck is this. Oh let’s make an EP where like half the songs are about the pandemic, but with videogame references everywhere, make it sound like basically the entirety of the Scene from 2002 to about 2012, bring Babymetal and Amy Lee and Nova Twins and Yungblud because at this point why not, and just. I don’t know. Light it on fire while screaming “cringe is dead”, maybe?? Only two out of the nine tracks left my current playlist and one of them is an interlude. I think I listened to Parasite Eve and Teardrops on a loop for days. What the f█ck

Uh. Anyway.

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Unelligible songs. You can see that part as a rec list, maybe? It’s extremely long, sorry. I really loved a lot of things this year, okay?

Let’s go.

I think I should begin this segment with things that were proper hits but didn’t land on the year-end lists, and Diamonds by Sam Smith is a pretty good place to start.

Monsters by All Time Low should have been way bigger than it was.

I was surprised and sad when I realised Drunk (and I don’t wanna go home) by Elle King and Miranda Lambert missed the year-end top 100, and not by much, at that. It’s a lot of fun.

Copied directly from my list of unelligible stuff from 2020: “I still entertain the vague hope that stuff from Machine Gun Kelly will chart higher in 2021 but I doubt it will happen so I might as well tackle it now and say that Bloody Valentine and especially Forget Me Too are both excellent and that it’s a shame radios aren’t playing them more often.” And yeah. I’m very annoyed they weren’t hits in 2021 either.

Coldplay. You all knew this was coming and you already know the songs but ugh, I really wanted to be able to put Higher Power and/or My Universe on the list. I’m a bit sad.

That’s What I Want is my favorite song on Montero by Lil Nas X and I was kind of hoping it would be a bigger hit. Oh well.

If you haven’t clicked on the I am not a woman I’m a god link in the albums list, here’s a second chance to hear an actually good Halsey song. To be honest it’s more like a NIN song featuring Halsey. I know right? What a weird year.

At the opposite end of the spectrum of recs, I Miss 2003 by As It Is pisses me off because I’m the exact type of sucker this was written for, and I know it, and I know I’m basically getting scammed, but I can’t help it. I love it. But yeah, it’s trash. I’m trash.

100 Gecs have a new song called mememe. It’s good. It’s no Money Machine but I’ll take it. Also you have to hear their remix of One Step Closer to believe it. Basically the ultimate culmination of twenty years of Scene culture. We’ve reached the highest point. It’s all downhill from here, folks

Run It by DJ Snake has no right going this hard.

I wanna be your slave by Måneskin has no right going this hard either.

Utopia by The SIDH. I’m not going to say anything else. Just: Utopia by The SIDH. Just click on the link. Please comment if you did, I really want to read some reactions to it.

Hey do you want more cringe. Because uh. I’m not a Vampire (revamped) by Falling In Reverse is great. And I hate the original version. And this one is a serious version, so you already know it’s worse. It still has one of the absolute worst lines in songwriting history according to, uh, me, and that line hasn’t been changed in the new version. But I swear it’s great. I’m not exactly sure why. But I swear it is

Musician by Porter Robinson. Amazing. Fantastic. Immaculate

Look at the Sky, also by Porter Robinson, might be even better? I don’t know. It makes me extremely emotional but also fills me with energy. I cried the first time I heard it. That’s probably a bit humiliating to say. Yeah. I don’t know either.

I don’t live here anymore by The War On Drugs feels like a song that always existed, but no, it’s from last September. What the hell. Who gave you the right to make something so great. Who are you

If there was any justice in the world, Introvert by Little Simz would have been recognised as one of the greatest songs ever made by now. So grand. So beautiful. So intense. Listen to it immediately

Placebo is back, and Placebo is still good, and I’m sorry there’s something in my eye. It’s called Beautiful James. And it starts with “bring me back to life, never let me go”. Yeah. Yeah

Stromae is also back?? And Santé is a song about essential jobs that are badly considered by society. And it’s GREAT. The fact it’s not on the FR year-end list is an outrage.

Prada/Rakata by Arca is beyond hypnotic and I didn’t mention it when I was listing her albums, so I might as well do it now.

Is this the point where I can start to list songs from Chvrches’ Screen Violence? I guess it is. So uh. Good Girls, for a start. Also, Asking for a Friend. And Final Girl which would be the best Cure-like song on the album if the absolutely immaculate How not to Drown featuring Robert Smith didn’t exist. What did we do to deserve this blessing

Okay okay now that I’ve linked some impeccable stuff I HAVE to get one hundred percent cringe on main and list a shit ton of Bring Me The Horizon. There’s Parasite Eve which I inflicted on a friend through our chat’s radio and which, according to said friend who has actual taste, “is... uh... certainly a song”, so you know it has to be great. There’s Teardrops if, like me, a major sucker, you really, really miss Linkin Park. There’s Kingslayer if... if what? If what, exactly? If you wish the second Death Note opening was a duet, maybe? If you want to hear a screamo yelp glitching so hard it makes me laugh every time I listen to the song even if I adore it? I don’t know. I’ll stop here before I recommend the entirety of Post Human: Survival Horror, maybe

Wait no Bring Me The Horizon also released a song that sounds exactly like a deranged version of Justin Bieber singing about dying for you, in increasingly more graphic and horrible metaphors as the song progresses, and I also love it to death. It’s called DiE4u and it sounds NOTHING like the previous ones I’ve listed from them, and yes, the title is written like that. It also has a hyperpop six impala remix called DiE6u. I wish I was making this up. What even is this timeline

-

It’s time for a round of Honorable Mentions for elligible songs, containing a couple of guilty pleasures, as it's often the case.

Alors la zone (Jul) - So bad. Sooooooooo bad. Extremely bad. Awful. Terrible. But it makes me laugh so hard. I can’t help it.

Cabeza (Oboy) - Basically, same here. But it starts with the line “Ils ont grave le seum quand j’bois mon Capri-Sun” (”They hatin’ on me when I drink my Capri-Sun”). What else is there to say

Rasputin (Boney M remix by Majestic) - This would be on the actual list if it was an actual, proper remix. But it’s nearly identical to the original song, so it feels like cheating.

Bad Habits (Ed Sheeran) - Oddly listenable for an Ed Sheeran song. Has one of the worst music videos I’ve ever seen, but yeah.

Astronaut In The Ocean (Masked Wolf) - I wish the lyrics made any sense. Like, at all. It’s very distracting.

Médusa (Landy) - Again, oddly listenable.

Wasted Love (Ofenbach) - Very good but missing something? I’m not exactly sure what, though.

Butter (BTS) - Dynamite was way better. Still good, though.

Take My Breath (The Weeknd) - Don’t get me wrong, it’s very good. But it was a pretty good year for pop music, ok ?

Happier Than Ever (Billie Eilish) - If I had better taste, it would be on the list.

Leave the Door Open (Silk Sonic) - If I had better taste, it would also be on the list. Alas, I am what I am.

And now, the actual list. At last.

10 - Beggin’ (Måneskin)

US: #66 / FR: #34

Yes, it’s extremely rough around the edges. Yes, listening to it makes my throat hurt. Literally. Yes, it’s not their best song by several miles.

Yes, it’s still above all the honorable mentions. I swear I’ve thought long and hard about it, and I stand by this choice.

9 - Therefore I Am (Billie Eilish)

US: #25 / FR: Not on the list

I’m not your friend.

That’s it. That’s my review.

8 - Industry Baby (Lil Nas X)

US: #24 / FR: #25

A lot of people seem to think that one is Lil Nas X’ best single. I just think it’s very good, and to be honest, that’s enough to land on this list. Bragging about your success has rarely felt more deserved, let’s face it.

7 - Save your tears (The Weeknd)

US: #2 / FR: #3

Nearly killed by the overplay, but not quite. Not as good as Blinding Lights or Heartless by a mile, though.

That mile still puts it above a shit ton of stuff on the year-end lists.

6 - Levitating (Dua Lipa)

US: #1 / FR: #10

And for the least surprising pick of all, we have Levitating.

And moving on.

5 - Starting Over (Chris Stapleton)

US: #53 / FR: Not on the list

I’m frankly baffled that what’s essentially a folk song has made its way so high up the US year-end list. Not that I’m complaining, because it’s absolutely wonderful in every way, and it’s sincere and touching and aaaaaa. It’s perfect.

Now you might say that if I had better taste, this would be number one on the list, and you would be absolutely right! But, uh, may I remind you I just recommended FOUR Bring Me The Horizon songs on my unelligible songs list?

So... yeah.

4 - Stay (Justin Bieber & The Kid Laroi)

US: #12 / FR: #21

This happened. I actually love a Justin Bieber song now. It also has The Kid Laroi on it, which should also make it worse. But no. It’s stupidly addictive instead. What the hell happened. Why.

Just for this, I’m glad I always give a chance to every single song I come across even if I usually hate their artist’s stuff. Sometimes, it pays off.

3 - Montero (Lil Nas X)

US: #9 / FR: #5

I’m under the impression the whole drama around the video half-eclipsed the fact that this is a terrific song. Listen to that beat. It’s insanely catchy even if it sounds like goddamn flamenco. How does that even work. I’ve had it in my head for months and it refuses to go away and I’m actually happy about that. And yeah, you might have noticed it’s even higher on the French Year-end list. So yeah, radios here loved it even more. What an earworm.

Also the lyrics are extremely gay. Which doesn’t hurt. Thank you for this gift, good sir. We don’t deserve you.

2 - My Ex’s Best Friend (Machine Gun Kelly ft Blackbear)

US: #23 / FR: Not on the list

You knew this was coming. I’m pretty sure some rotten tomatoes were saved just for the occasion. Because it’s Machine Gun Kelly AND Blackbear, Unlikable F█ckboys Extraordinaires, talking about girls and doing what’s essentially textbook punk-rock in a not-very-original way.

But consider this: as this post has already made pretty clear again and again, I have exactly zero taste, and I’m a massive sucker.

Also, this was my default number one until the French 2021 year-end chart dropped this morning, because uh-

Um-

1 - Cold Heart (Elton John & Dua Lipa)

US: Not on the list / FR: #49

Yeah. No. No way I could put anything else above that one. Not in a million years. Have you heard it? Why isn’t it charting higher on the other side of the Atlantic? What the hell are you all doing? Are you all okay?

It’s so immaculate I have almost nothing to say about it. I’m not even entirely sure I could have put Blinding Lights above it in good conscience if I didn’t have that no-repeats rule for my lists. They’re in the same ballpark of endless replayability and perfection, really.

Oh wait, I do have something to say about it: hearing Dua Lipa sing the line “I’m not the man they think I am at home” is free serotonin. Every. Single. Time. I want to stay in that joyful, peaceful disco universe forever. What a vibe.

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See you next year! If my predictions from 2019 are correct, pop music should get even better somewhere around 2022/2023, so... yeah! I’m hyped.

[speci-society]

hey guys do you want a really long LIST of SONGS that basically is only interesting to me

here’s a lost of my top 5 songs from 3 artists/bands that mean the most to me musically and artistically (Coldplay, Lemon Demon, Ween) as well as just 5 other songs not from those artists but are songs that i also like a lot right now

TOP 5- WEEN

5. Don’t shit where you eat- oooghhh just a nice easy listening song

4. Hey There Fancypants- ashamed to say i haven’t listened to Quebec all the way through but I’ve listened to most of it and idk! I just like fun sillygoofy songs. also there’s this fan music video that was uploaded on youtube in like 2006? And it’s so fun, im not a music video person im a “i make my OWN imaginary mvs in my HEAD and OCCSIONALLY on paper” but i like that music video so so so much

3. Ocean Man- I mean this song was my introduction to Ween so yeah ofc its on here lol? And also that it’s just a great song Lol?

2. Transdermal Celebration/Buckingham Green- I’m not cheating by putting 2 in one slot bc these songs both itch the same part of my brain that likes epic ween songs that for some reason I associate almost exclusively with Terraria bc I listened to them at around the same time I was getting back into terraria in 2019 lmfaooooooo

1. Waving My Dick In The Wind- IM NOT BEING IRONIC ABOUT THIS. This is 1000000% genuine this is my favorite ween song of all time and always has been and more than likely always will be. Tbh it’s in my top 3 fav songs of all time i’ve ever liked from any artist. It’s got memories attached to it. It’s one of my favorite songs to play on guitar. This song is literally like a part of my being. Yeah bitch i AM waving my dick in the wind. You really SHOULDVE seen ol jimmy wilson dance. If it all goes right i’ll be in your arms tonight. yeah bitch

honorable mentions: Freedom of ‘76, Wayne’s Pet Youngin’, I Can’t Put My Finger On It, all of The Mollusk, everything I’ve heard off of Quebec so far

TOP 5- COLDPLAY

yes it is a little funny having Coldplay wedged between lemon demon and ween but i’ve been listening to coldplay nonstop since i was born and that’s not an exaggeration. My great grandma bought my parents a cd of Parachutes around when I was born

5. Talk- man this song just makes me feel a way. it’s so nice. i’ve got so many good things associated with it. Minecraft is the biggest one btw for some reason. Probably bc i listened to this album a lot in 4th grade when i was suuuuuper into Minecraft for the first time. also a coldplay song i relate to in lyrics more than most coldplay songs

4. Violet Hill- VASTLY UNDERRATED. i fucking love angry coldplay songs so much. there’s angrier songs that exist i know. but we’re talking about this band. 

3. Arabesque- mmm best song from Everyday Life  no contest! Half of the song is a saxophone solo! This is a coldplay song I literally made an oc to and unlike some of the others I made when i was 9 my boy stuck around. shoutout to my oc Pixie. yeah bitch you are two angles of the same view

2. Hurts Like Heaven- i have so many good associations w this song. This album came out when i was i think 8 or 9? Like. PRIME age when I was starting to get into art and writing. I made several ocs to this song. It means just so much to me. the whole album does tbh. It was the first concert I went to and it was one of the best experiences of when i was that age

1. Viva La vida- i mean what would I be saying about myself if it wasn’t high on the list anyway. Genuinely the best Coldplay song I think. Not even remotely controversial i think but still

Honorable mentions: God Put A Smile On Your Face, High Speed (tied for number 5 tbh), Champion Of The World, Cry Cry Cry, A Head Full Of Dreams, Any of them that make me Bawl my Eyes Out it’s a lot to list. you can imagine which ones

TOP 5- LEMON DEMON

5. The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny- then GANDALF THE GREY and GANDALF THE WHITE and MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL’S BLACK KNIGHT and BENITO MUSSOLINI and the BLUE MEANIE and (i mean its a classic. number 5 on a top 5 list feels right)

4. Spiral Of Ants- SONGS THAT MAKE ME CRY one time i wrote about the emotional impact this song has on the album as a whole for a school project. i wonder if i still have it saved somewhere. i hope i do

3. Bill Watterson- NUMBER ONE CATCHIEST SONG EVARRRR and its about STALKING THE CREATOR OF CALVIN AND HOBBES yknow there’s this music camp i go to every summer and next year is the first year i’m gonna be a counselor, and all the counselors and volunteers get to perform a song on their own during one of the lunch periods in the week and ik its about 11 months away but i think this is the song im gonna play. its so much fun to play. whip out a guitar right now and look up “bill watterson lemon demon chords” its so good on the ears

2. Eighth Wonder- top most feel good songs ever tbh. more songs need to be exactly like Eighth Wonder. this is what i want my music to be like when i make music. if you arw Mad. -_- Okay if you are Hate Eighth Wonder -_- Okat BUT   We are not fighting :3

1. The Ocean- THIS IS A SONG ABOUT ME. BTW. if my dna and brain matter were cloned to be put into an analyzer that could turn dna and brain matter into a song it would just come out with The Ocean by Lemon Demon again. 

Honorable mentions: Amnesia Was Her Name (consider this at number 6), Spring Heeled Jack (consider this um. tied with number 6), The Satirist’s Love Song, Sundial, Lifetime Achievement Award, Action Movie Hero Boy (which is my dad’s favorite lemon demon song), Reaganomics, Soft Fuzzy Man which is my favorite song to play on guitar

TOP 5- OTHER SONGS (not necessarily in a hard order this time)I 

5. Suburbia Overture (etc.) by Will Wood- I only just listened to (some of) The Normal Album like a week ago but DAMN im kind of madly in love with all of it. there has gotta be a genre of like.. works that satirize suburb/WASP/fundamentalist culture. shit like this album and Moral Orel and that one video about how Christmas with the Kranks is a movie about a cult, it all exists in the same space in my brain yknow? I’m calling it “suburban horror” but theres gotta be an actual name for it right

4. Come Along by Cosmo Sheldrake- not to brag but listen ive liked cosmo sheldrake since like 2017. i dont even use tiktok. apparently one of his songs was mega popular on tiktok for a bit. i wouldnt know i dont use tiktok MY POINT IS this song fucks. top 10 songs i make imaginary animations to

3. I Palindrome I by They Might Be Giants- if Ween, Lemon Demon and Coldplay are the 3 artists that mean the most to me, TMBG is the 4th of those artists. shoutout to every other TMBG song but this one’s here bc it’s the one i’ve been listening to the most lately. catchy. i love it

2. Income Tax by P’tit Belliveau- my mom showed me this song a few months ago and i don’t speak a lick of french but yeah bro. J’fais rinque d’avoir mon income tax return. sometimes i just go around the house and all i’ve got in my head is “J’fais rinque d’avoir mon income tax return Tonight we gonna watch it burn” and if you listen to it the same thing WILL happen to you

1. I Don’t Feel Like Dancin by Scissor Sisters- what a crime it is that they made this song the most danceable song on earth! im sure that was intentional but What a crime nonetheless

[flamingplay]

Have got tagged by lovely @vegascabaret for choosing 10 debut albums from the bands I love, thank you so much, this is indeed interesting, let me think...

1. The Stone Roses by The Stone Roses - probably, one of the most iconic debut albums in general in the history of music, certainly no weak songs!

2. Zaba by Glass Animals - an album that started off my journey with GA’s music: a clear consistent concept, absolutely mind-blowing production, wonderful beats and details and interesting rainforest-tales-like lyrical canvas

3. The Golden Age by Woodkid - an impressive by the concept and organically symphonically wide and “wooden” sound with the elements that are so typical for Yoann’s signature sound! Just one iconic song after another and insane energy and story behid them!

4. Blood by Kelset Lu - so happy that after songwriting and producin for a bunch of very popular musician Kelsey finally expressed herself and that’s an amazing overall experimental album with the classical strings touches here and there as Kelsey herself is a clasical cellist, nice beats in less experimental songs and overall a very artsy atmosphere

5. Parachutes by Coldplay - a very wam and organic sound with an iconic album cover, love it for lyrical straightfoward and emotionally honest approach,nicely layered Jon’s guitar work and absolutely great bass work by Guy!

6. Funeral by Arcade Fire - this album feels like the pinnacle, I often compare its importance and significance in the band’s discography to VLVODAAHF by Coldplay, would’ve never thought it’s debut but it is!

7. If I Could Make It Go Quiet by girl in red - after listening to her EP’s should say that she really found her own sound here, the honesty here is so inspirational, really excited about this artist’s musical development!

8. Dark Eyes by Half Moon Run (special greetings to J @blueberry-beanie for introducig me to this band :D) - a realy surprisingly signature sound of the band encapsulated already in the first album! Very interesting songs with a unique atmosphere and different turns in sound, that was THE start for this band

9. Through The Night by Ren Harvieu - a queen of vintage sound with a really great album with an absolutely outstanding soothing voice of a real singing diva and lots of melancholy about the past I could never experience but certainly enjoy having a look into!

10. All My Demons Greeting Me As a Friend by AURORA - put it here because it started off my absolute adoration for her and made me pay attention to what she tries to convey with her music, a really solid album that made a big start to the artist she is now, a very important album for me personally

Tagging @blueberry-beanie, @lisanek, @steelfeathersnn, @sup--ernova, @at-the-speed-of-sound, @xandwhy, @and-the-glass-handed-kites, @lonesome-ranger, @anxious-apple, @i-like-potatoes, @coldplayfeels, please, guys, gp for it if you feel like sharing about this! :)

[hazzabeeforlou]

Walls Masterpost

It’s the 28th of pride month, and fitting to post this now. The soul of Walls is the unabashed, fierce, tender, and brave love of a man who has shown for years that he is proud. This album isn’t a cohesive story line, nor do I think it’s even the album Louis envisioned himself putting out. He only flirts with true indie music like that of his idols; Always You is a pop masterpiece, TOU is a ballad, and Perfect Now a love song in the style of Little Things. The album is a collection of letters each addressed to a singular recipient, personal, self-searching, blunt, too vulnerable to be easy listening (if you really listen). Walls shows us the scope of Louis’ capacity for love. It’s the culmination of years of pain, heartbreak, and hope, written with the raw honestly of an archeologist stumbling upon his own personal memoirs. 

Please feel free to ask questions if any of the technical stuff is confusing, and remember these are my interpretations as a classically trained musician. I will use the name “Subject” for the implied “you” in each of Louis’ songs. 

Kill My Mind: in F minor. The verses are i VII IV, the tiny bridge IV III I (?), and the chorus is VII IV I, repeat. 

There are two oddities about this. First, in a natural minor key, the forth chord is minor (iv) but Louis keeps this B flat chord in major, changing the D flat to a D natural. Secondly, in the chorus, Louis changes from using a minor one chord to a major one. He raises the A flat to an A natural as he sings “Raise my body [A natural here] back to life.” This bit of text painting not only illustrates his words, but lends the song an off kilter feel, confusing the key signature between F minor and B flat Major (which has an A and D natural). 

Kill My Mind is Louis’ only ‘drugs’ song on the album, and I say that both because the metaphor is obvious and because he uses that obvious metaphor to compare addiction to a relationship. It reminds me, lyrically, of Back To You, and, like that song, could easily be interpreted as about a controlling force in his life on whom he’s become dependent, or a lover. 

Don’t Let It Break Your Heart: this is easily in the key of B flat Major. The verses are I IV vi 6/4 V 6/4, the bridge vi vi V IV vi V, the chorus same as the verses, I IV vi 6/4 V 6/4. 

This is Louis’ most hopeful track, and is so clearly about grief. Much has been made of the first line “on our way to twenty seven” being a reference to the 27 Club, a cultural phenomenon of icons/musicians/artists that die at that age due to fame/high risk lifestyle, but Louis then says they’re “doing better,” implying that both he and Subject are in this category. The rest of the song is him counseling and comforting Subject, empathizing with the hurt of loss, encouraging Subject, “Don’t let it kill you even when it hurts like hell.” He knows this pain, knows it deep, and knows that it takes time to heal. 

Two Of Us: IV I V iv V IV I V vi V. This progression is the same for both verses and chorus. The bridge is a bit hard to decipher as it moves in 3rds and not triads, something like IV V vi V vi V. 

Not much needs to be said about this song. It’s Louis’ beautiful ode to his mom, and he sings it with incredible vulnerability and heart. 

We Made It: this is the revolving door song. One progression is used, IV I V iii, and repeats from start to finish. It keeps reminding me of Coldplay. 

What’s interesting is that each chord functions as the subdominant or leading chord of the next, basically spinning us ever forwards so we never stop on a tonic home base. The E flat IV chord leads to the B flat I, the B flat I then functions as a IV chord to the V chord (F Major), then the D minor III chord functions as a major VII leading to a I of E flat (the beginning IV chord we started with in B flat Major) and the cycle repeats. 

Louis leaked part of this song several years ago, and a line about moonlight replaced the “met you at your uni” section, interestingly. “Playing something pop’y on the same four chords, used to worry bout it but I don’t no more.” Young love. He remembers how it tasted. Subject was high on what? Adrenaline? Orgasm? It’s a tender reminiscence with a hint of tragedy, “don’t know why they put this all on us when were so young.”  

Too Young: in E Major, the verses and chorus are IV I V vi (the vi is omitted at the cadences), the bridge is vi I V IV I V. 

Louis is once again looking back, regretful. Louis doesn’t speak in metaphors, the lyrics are to the point and precise. He’s hurt Subject, he’s given in to pressures, he’s cut subject off... the “2 years since I’ve seen your face” of course doesn’t fit the chronology of the album, but rather of his public life, as does the previous song’s line of “met you at your uni.” It’s interesting, then, that while Louis takes the blame for so much, he still says ‘we were too young’ and not ‘I was too young,’ implying that Subject was at least partly to blame for the hurt too, if only by fault of immaturity. 

Walls: This is in B Major. The chord progression for verses is

 vi I vi I, V [V7 with the melody note on the E natural] IV V V7 II IV i6 (passing chord)

chorus, IV I V I6, IV I V III6 vi V II6 Vi ii I (IV I passing chords) 

bridge, IV vi V, IV vi V, Vi vi III6 vi V II (this holds over til chorus) 

This is Louis’ tour de force. Walls is as complex as it is beautiful. His use of Major II chords, altered from a normal ii chord in Major key signatures, and his use of a Major III chord (which, again, is minor in Major key signatures) adds an unconventional twist. The opening and closing lyrics, “nothing wakes you up like waking up alone,” are set against a sparse vi I; but you see the vi chord doesn’t normally go to I, usually ii, IV, and V have that role, so by using a vi to I Louis is showing us the tonic alone, nothing ‘surrounding’ it. This song is so complex and layered, and I would argue it’s the one song besides OTB that is ripe for poetic interpretation; on first glance the lyrics seem so obvious, but there’s the music video to consider, the metaphor of him being left alone, high on a wall that has not fallen down, a blank name tag on his chest. The door opening to a desert on one side and a bullseye masquerade on the other has no happy implications, yet Louis has become a man through it all, he says, and he has no regrets about letting his walls crumble for love, damn the consequences he’s suffered. 

Habit: in G Major, the verses are I ii IV I, the bridge vi V IV I vi V IV ii7, the chorus I ii IV (vi V added when leading to next verse). Interestingly, in the verse that says “come so far from Princess Park,” the repeated line “in front of me, in front of me” adds two chords to the verse, between the IV and I, a vi and V. 

Like in too young, this is an apology, and Louis lays out his sins plainly. And while it’s unequivocal, we can see the extenuating circumstances: “took some time ‘cause I ran out of energy playing someone I heard I’m supposed to be.” There is no more damning line of lyrics. Louis has been exhausted holding some line, an invisible current through his music that he never truly addresses, yet always its there, a background character, a force of cruel divinity. “Don’t know why they put this all on us when were so young.” “I’m too far gone to pray.” 

Always You: This song could conquer radio in half a heartbeat, given a chance. It’s in E Major, verses are I vi IV, chorus is I vi IV, the same. 

This is world tour of missing Subject, this is Miss You but rephrased, reworked, gone from punk to pop princess. We have Amsterdam, Tokyo, LAX, Heathrow, which speak for themselves. “My baby,” Louis quotes over and over. He’s been “chasing a high,” and I’m reminded of the high in We Made It, “baby you were still high.” Orgasm? Adrenaline? Love? 

Fearless: A minor. Verses, i VII VI (added VI VII when leading back to verse), bridge is i V VI (III VII passing chords can be heard) i V VI VII

Now the very short chorus (”fearless, fearless,”) is, if we stick to A minor, III, III4/2, i, VI. I think, however, that at this point the piece modulates, going from A minor to C Major, (A minor is the relative minor of C Major, which means that the two keys share a key signature and can go into and out of each other easily) making the progressions I I4/2 (4/2 is an inversion of a 7th chord) vi IV. Now to add complexity on top of that, having a I7 chord is incredibly unusual, so I wouldn’t label it that, I would label it a V4/2 of IV, meaning that C7 chord functions as a cadential chord leading to F, or the IV chord, of C Major. This is all rather complicated, but knowing how it was constructed shows the song’s complexity. The final “fearless, fearless” progression then is: I, V4/2 of IV, vi, VI. 

In this song I believe Louis’ Subject is himself. it’s a song about fame and anxiety and the lost innocence (and gutsiness) of youth. It’s a brutal song that I doubt Louis would write to anyone besides himself given how he focuses solely on his own faults and doesn’t lay anything at the feet of his other Subjects. The laughing children heard fist and last are a cutting effect. 

Perfect Now: D Major. Verses, I I7 [again this is technically a V7 of IV, and functions as that since it leads to IV] IV6/4 iv6/4

bridge, iii vi ii vi

chorus, IV V I IV V I, IV V I IV I

second bridge, V vi IV I, V vi IV vi (then to chorus) 

This is a strange little song, perhaps its most unusual quirk being the switch from a Major IV chord to a minor iv chord in the verse. The Subject in this song loves to dance, and I’m reminded of KMM. Subject isn’t just not feeling pretty, they’re depressed, they are reticent to be looked upon (”don’t hide away”) they are a crown-less queen, and tears are the norm. Subject has a platform - everyone is looking at them - and is a scene stealer, charismatic without trying. I’ve attempted and failed to understand this song in any way other than that Subject is dealing with dysphoria, and that this is Louis’ ode to their perfection, an affirmation of an identity that perhaps can only be realized in private. It is in this interpretation that the Major to minor flip of the 4 chord makes me absolutely crumble into pieces. 

Defenceless: C flat Major (a most unusual key for a pop song). Verses are I V6 vi IV, bridge IV vi I V, chorus is IV vi I V (the falsetto second bridge is the same) 

Defenceless is Louis at his most honest. Who writes these lyrics in a pop song? “You don’t have to keep on being strong for me and you,” “just want to be loved by you,” “you don’t have a thing to prove,” “I’m too tired to be tough,” “Wish I didn’t need so much of you.” A moth to a flame is different from a moth to a light; immolation is a theme in love stories. This is too honest for a love song, and it feels intrusive just to listen. Louis has a deep love for Subject, an abiding care and need for them. 

Only The Brave: E flat Major. Verse, I (IV I) IV I, I (IV I) IV I

Chorus is vi V IV I [ii iii IV V OR IV V IV V, I can’t determine because of the movement in 3rds] I 

This song. I can only compare it to when I used to cry when I’d see speeches about gay love; I never understood why, but I just knew, in my heart, before my brain had figured it out yet, that I was the same. This song is that. It is so intrinsically gay, the metaphors are woven in every word, every nuance. Burn history, break rules, cry like a fool, close enough to touch... the church of burnt romances. “I’m too far gone to pray.” Love is only for the brave. Of course it takes a great deal of bravery to love anything completely, to face the prospect of loss knowing how that love will rip you apart. And in the end, some might say from the cradle to the grave you are ultimately alone. Yet Louis knows better than any that those you love are always with you, “even when I’m on my own, I know I won’t be alone.” I believe this song is Louis’ concluding thesis to an album filled to the brim with anecdotes of his own love, a gift to us speaking of the commonality he shares with the wider community, a history of brave love, of loneliness, of too many dying stars in the sky. The tall tales, only hello hello, no goodbye; we don’t focus on the goodbyes. We tell our stories with happy endings, but love, sometimes it doesn’t have those, for some of us it’s a solo song. 

Louis Tomlinson, I’m sure there’s not a chance in a million you’ll ever read this but, if you do, I see you, we see you. You are so loved. Thank you for this album, thank you for giving us this gift of love. Continue your artistic journey and follow your heart. We’ll be here, because for us, it’s Always You. 

[writerjuliannaf]

Thank you so much @laurajournal for tagging me!! I had a blast participating ❤︎

About Me~

MUSIC

Favorite genre(s)?

Rock, Folk, Eighties, Pop, Alternative/Indie

Favorite song(s)?

1. Wrecked by Imagine Dragons

2. Follow You by Imagine Dragons

3. The Funeral by Band of Horses

4. Little Did I Know by Julia Michaels

5. Stakes by Vancouver Sleep Clinic

6. When We Were Young by The Killers

7. Lost by Dermot Kennedy

8. Papercut by LINKIN PARK

9. Fix You by Coldplay

10. Someone You Loved by Lewis Capaldi

11. So Far Away by Staind

12. Everything Changes by Staind (… if I could keep going, I would)

Most listened song recently?

If The World Was Ending by Julia Michaels & JP Saxe (I’m a sucker for duets)

Song currently stuck in your head?

Let Me Down Slowly by Alec Benjamin

5 favorite lyrics?

1.  Now that we're here, it’s so far away

All the struggle we thought was in vain

All in the mistakes

One life contained

They all finally start to go away

Now that we're here, it’s so far away

And I feel like I can face the day,

And I can forgive

And I'm not ashamed

To be the person that I am today

~ So Far Away by Staind

2.  But everything changes

If I could

Turn back the years

If you could

Learn to forgive me

Then I could

Learn how to feel

Then we could

Stay here together

And we could

Conquer the world

If we could

Say that forever

~ Everything Changes by Staind (Aaron Lewis’ voice just sends me right back to my childhood)

3. Loud thunder, heavy rain

Thin line 'tween joy and pain

It's a long strange trip, it's all insane

You ain't never gonna be the same

~ Loud and Heavy by Cody Jinks

4.  Hear the fallen and lonely, cry out

Will you fix me up?

Will you show me hope?

At the end of the day, you were helpless

Can you keep me close?

Can you love me most?

~ Someone to Stay by Vancouver Sleep Clinic

5.  Please let me take you

Out of the darkness and into the light

'Cause I have faith in you

That you're gonna make it through another night

~ Lullaby by Nickelback

Pick!

radio or your own playlist | solo artists or bands…… both | pop or indie | loud or silent volume I slow or fast songs | music video or lyrics video | speakers or headset | riding a bus in silence or while listening to music | driving in silence or with radio on

BOOKS

Favorite book series?

Twilight by Stephenie Meyer & The Lorien Legacies by Pittacus Lore

Comfort book(s)?

The Merchant’s Daughter, The Captive Maiden, and The Golden Braid —all by Melanie Dickerson

Favorite book(s)?

Divergent by Veronica Roth and Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë

Perfect book(s) to read on a rainy day?

Hendrix by softsloth (an amazing werewolf romance on Wattpad) and You Are Not Alone by penbehindthemask (the BEST Phantom of The Opera fanfic on Wattpad)

Favorite character(s)?

Bella Swan, Edward Cullen, Four, Jo March, Jane Eyre, Mr. Rochester, and Six —from The Lorien Legacies

5 favorite quotes from your favorite books?

1. “I am no bird; and no net ensnares me.” ~Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë

2. “I’ll be your family now.” ~Insurgent by Veronica Roth

3. “Penguins. Lovely.” ~Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer

4. “One of the gifts our planet gave us is to love completely. Without jealousy or insecurity or fear. Without pettiness. Without anger.” ~I Am Number Four by Pittacus Lore

5. “It was too mangy. A little bit like you.” ~Her Wolf King (THE BEST Beauty & The Beast/Jane Eyre retelling) by @linsimin

Pick!

hardcover or paperback | buy or rent | standalone novels or book series | ebook or physical copy | reading at night or during the day | reading at home or in nature | listening to music while reading or reading in silence | reading in order or reading the ending first… both | reliable or unreliable narrator | realism or fantasy | one or multiple POVS | judging by the covers or by the summary | rereading or reading just once

TV AND MOVIES

Favorite tv/movie genre(s)?

Romance, Fantasy, Superheroes, Comedy, Action/Adventure, Dystopian, and Sci-Fi

Comfort movie(s)?

Jane Eyre (2011 version), Barb And Star Go To Vista Del Mar, Pride & Prejudice, The Silver Linings Playbook, Ratatouille, The Phantom of The Opera, LOTR, and The Hobbit (… I wish I could keep going)

Movie you watch every year?

The Santa Clause

Favorite movie?

X-Men

Favorite tv show(s)?

The Office, Portlandia, Fruits Basket, Friends, Wolverine and The X-Men, Last Man Standing, Cobra Kai, Man With a Plan, Gilmore Girls, Sweet Magnolias, #blackAF, Dr. Who, North & South, Adventure Time (… and the list is neverending)

Comfort tv show?

The Office

Most rewatched tv show?

The Office

5 Favorite tv/movie characters?

1. Logan Howlett from X-Men

2. Luke Danes from Gilmore Girls

3. Michael Scott from The Office

4. Tohru Honda from Fruits Basket

5. Cindy Berman from Fear Street

Pick!

tv shows or movie….. both | short seasons (8-13 episodes) or full seasons (22 episodes or more) | one episode a week or binging | one season or multiple seasons | one part or saga | half hour or one hour long episodes | subtitles on or off | rewatching or watching just once | downloads or watches online.

I tag: @sincerelyrachelr @linsimin and anyone else who wants to join in on the fun 🌸

[malhare-archive]

Tagged by @bastard-mice, sorry this took me so damn long to get around to! I really love this one ✨

1. What’s the first song you remember hearing?

“Clint Eastwood” by Gorillaz! Their first album was released when I was three years old, my mom was super into them since day one

2. What’s the first band you got into?

The first band I got into outside of stuff my mom listened to was Coldplay LMAO (I was like 10 cut me some slack), however the first band I really fixated on and became a superfan of was Rammstein at age 12! And I’m still just as obsessed over a decade later.....

3. Do you collect physical music?

Nope, I used to collect records but I lost my collection when I moved and I don’t have the money or willpower to start the collection fresh :(

4. What is your favorite piece of music memorabilia?

I don’t have anything particularly special yet, a heem heem whimper ;__;

5. What’s your favorite concert that you’ve been to?

Honestly? King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard! When I saw them “Infest the Rat’s Nest” hadn’t been released yet and they played the entirety of the album + some others including my favorite song by them. It was an unforgettable show!

6. If you could see any artist that’s no longer alive in concert, who would it be?

I would maim someone for the chance to see Pelle Ohlin perform, either with Morbid or Mayhem Im not even picky

7. Have you met any musicians?

Only one (1), I briefly met Trent Reznor after a NIN concert!

8. What’s your go-to album when you’re feeling sad?

“Merrie Land” by The Good the Bad and the Queen. It’s not supremely depressing so I won’t spiral, but it’s melancholy enough that I can kind of just stew in my feelings....

9. What’s your go-to album when you’re feeling happy?

I don’t really have one! I listen to pretty much anything when I’m in a good mood

10. What is one music documentary that you love?

“Until the Light Takes Us”! It isn’t even the best documentary about the black metal scene and in retrospect it focuses on Varg Vikernes more than I’d like, but it’s the first real dive I took into black metal so it’s very nostalgic for me :)

11. What is one concert DVD that you love?

RAMMSTEIN LIVE AUS BERLIN MY BELOVED

12. Do you prefer listening to playlists or albums?

I usually prefer playlists, I only really listen to rock operas (or albums that I really like) chronologically all the way through

13. Do you listen to albums in order or on shuffle?

In order!! They’re usually put in order by the musician for a reason

14. What is your favorite deep cut song by your favorite artist?

“Dalai Lama” by Rammstein. So underrated! That ghostly chorus? Shivers every time!!

15. What is your favorite CD/cassette/vinyl you own in terms of its packaging?

I used to own Morbid’s “Year of the Goat” and it has to be that one! 

Tagging: @feelin-woozy, @therealhieronymous, @witchycrowley, @rotassimilate, @thotticus0, @mutiny-in-heaven and anyone else who wants to do this <3

[rainydaycafe]

Bookstore Bargains: Candid Confessions

Previous chapter!

Summary: Bucky finds himself returning to the bookstore but his past continues to have an iron grip on the fleeting happiness he feels

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Original Female Character

Word Count: 1800 or so

Warnings: None! Unless you're against Bucky Barnes finding happiness and solace in a bookstore worker and literature

Requests are open for this series and any other one shot, blurb, or story you'd like written!

Emilia.

Emilia was her name, turns out.

He had asked for it the week after his first visit, returning to buy more books after burning through the five she had recommended to him, earning himself a grin he found himself willing to do just about anything to obtain again.

She had graduated from Boston University with a major in English literature, putting off graduate school when her aunt asked for her help running the store since she was getting up there in age.

However, as he walked back home with a few new books purchased with the employee discount for the third time in three weeks, he felt the guilt gnawing at him once again.

The same guilt that kept him far away from people, kept him far away enough to not care how they reacted to his past as Hydra’s best assassin because he wasn’t emotionally invested.

But this time it felt multiplied by 10 because he had been so excited, so grateful to find someone kind to speak to, someone calm enough to put him at ease even on his second time meeting her but she had no idea of the crimes he had committed.

The lives he had taken, the families he had demolished.

Sitting on the floor of his living room while a mindless Family Feud episode played, he thought about not telling her at all. Because if he didn’t tell her, well then this could develop into… something, right?

It had been well over 70 years since he had even contemplated becoming something to someone, that something being more than friendly and much more binding with all emotions concerned, but he wanted it.

He wanted to be selfish, dammit.

For once, he wanted to have someone to look forward to seeing, someone who didn’t give him sympathetic eyes when they saw his gloves and knew the truth, someone who wouldn’t give him a double glance when he lost his temper for a second.

He wanted to earn more of the soft blushes she gave him, to know what she was like when she was happy, sad, angry, sleepy, all of it.

It was slightly pathetic, but he felt the need to be the person who knew the other better than anyone else with a connection palpable from an outsider’s perspective. The pull that loneliness brought him was poignant in a situation like this.

There wasn’t any rational explanation for his affection for her, but he was also incredibly tired of questioning just about anything when it came to his life.

Maybe it was her calm demeanor, her pretty green eyes, or just this surreal pull he felt towards her, but he wanted it.

“It” being everything.

The way she could make him laugh and feel so unguarded, talked to him about current events and didn’t bat an eye when he didn’t know the most rudimentary of modern age slang or news.

Though the rational part of his mind told him that a relationship, any sort for that matter, couldn’t be built in the avoidance of 70 years worth of history because lying by omission was still lying.

A bloody, deadly, and dangerous history that he couldn’t find himself selfish enough to not allow her to be privy to.

Sure there was a small portion of himself that told him it would be okay to allow this to develop further if the feelings were mutual without telling her about anything, but he couldn’t bear the thought of having her then losing her because she suddenly finds out.

So he told her.

______________________

He told her that same week on a Thursday when the store was completely empty on an early Thursday morning.

From Steve, to the Howling Commandos, and how the Winter Soldier still felt like the most brutal reality there was on nightmare filled nights he couldn’t find solace within a bed and opted for having the stability of a floor beneath him

He felt like a small toddler following her around, telling her everything as she adjusted books here and there, nodding at the right times and maintaining eye contact when his voice shook enough to make him clear his throat in search of a pause.

Though there wasn’t a look of disgust as he told her about the pardon he had received with the help of Sam, instead she just gave him a soft smile.

“Okay,” Emilia told him, “Your past doesn’t define you, James. You are a victim, but that’s not all you are. You’re an entire person with an entire personality to develop, but that doesn’t change things with us, you’re still great to have around.

The relief on his face was so prominent she felt her eyes tear up a bit and she couldn’t help herself from pulling him into a tight hug, feeling him wrap his arms around her without hesitation holding on for dear life.

People didn’t touch Bucky like that.

In an intimate, meaningful way that made him feel warm inside.

Sure there were random pats on the back from Sam, small touches here and there but nothing where someone wanted to outright touch him and went out of their way to do it in a moment where he needed comfort.

Pulling away, he wouldn’t meet her eyes but she let him have his space until he spoke again.

“I couldn’t avoid telling you before this became-” He cut himself off with a nervous laugh, “Not that this will become something but I couldn’t withhold… truth from you.”

The happiness on her face was evident alongside the blush, and she felt her heart swell for this stranger who had popped into her bookstore out of the blue not too long ago and swept her off of her feet without knowing.

“Thank you for trusting me, James.”

Bucky nodded and found himself smiling despite the weight of the words he had spoken still hanging around him, “You’re kind of stuck with me at this point, I really like it here.” He told her as he leaned on the shelf behind him in a casual admittance of his attachment to her.

Emilia laughed and nodded, “You’re stuck with me too, I’m imprinting on you like a doe.” Which earned a laugh from Bucky who felt his own cheeks flush in a way he managed to hide as he feigned interest in the bookshelf behind Emilia, the energy between them nearly visible.

__________

Emilia had made him promise to come back the following day, presenting him with a small rectangular item with a proud grin painting her features from behind the counter.

“It’s my old iPod,” She explained, “I got you new earphones, but I downloaded a lot of music onto it so you can enjoy what we  the youth call: music.”

Taking the small item in his hands, he noticed his gloves seemed so gross against it.

With a small amount of hesitation, he set down the iPod and began plucking at each of the gloved fingers until he pulled out his flesh hand followed by his metal one from the other one.

Glancing at her hesitantly, he saw as she looked at the black and gold hand but it wasn’t with disgust or discomfort, but more of awe.

“Can I touch it?” Emilia asked, hoping she wasn’t overstepping and instead was letting him know that she wasn’t uncomfortable with the arm.

Bucky’s face showed surprise, and he froze for half a second before he nodded and gently reached over the counter where she gently touched his arm as though she were afraid of hurting him rather than the other way around.

The metal was cool and smooth, sleek and meant for everyday use as well as in battle which should be as attractive as she found it.

Looking up at Bucky as she pulled on the fingers, she admitted she found just about everything about him attractive, but that wasn’t the moment to go about thinking about such things.

From his steel blue eyes, strong jawline dusted with just the slightest bit of stubble, and good Lord his broad shoulders and well worked physique really did it for her. But while he was physically very attractive, his personality was also to die for.

She had been a goner from the moment she had seen him come into the store and ask for her opinions. The way he was opening up, bringing out his personality where he was so funny and genuine, and allowed himself to be just the slightest bit sarcastic.

Her thing for him was becoming more and more prevalent every time she saw or even just thought about him, and her face felt warm as they made eye contact while she was holding what he felt was the most vulnerable part of him.

“I think your arm is cool.” She informed him as she let it go and he picked up the iPod again with a grin on his face.

Pushing herself onto the counter so she was able to look down and help him navigate, she watched as he scrolled through the artists with a nod because there were hundreds and hundreds.

“Which album do you recommend I listen to first?” Bucky asked and Emilia set herself back down on the floor with a pondering expression.

Rounding the counter, she stood next to him as he scrolled through the artists again and stopped him at the C’s.

Handing it over to her, he leaned over her shoulder as she clicked through the center dial and landed on Coldplay and went to their first album, Parachutes before she realized how close he was.

Close enough to where she could smell his rich cologne and a scent that can only ever belong to him.

Moving away as she felt her heart pound in her chest, she turned and handed it back to him, “I think you should listen to Coldplay’s entire discography, but Parachutes is a good way to start.” She informed him and Bucky nodded with a smile.

“Anything else?” He asked as he placed it in his pocket and she thought again before she shook her head and went back around the counter.

“No sir,” She said, “Just listen to what you feel inclined to listen to. There are plenty to pick from.”

Bucky nodded, telling her he had to go to therapy but that he would give her a full report regarding what he listened to the next time he saw her.

Stepping out onto the sidewalk outside of the bookstore, Bucky took in a deep breath of crisp late October air and felt it really reach the bottom of his lungs, an extra pep in his step as he put in the earphones and figured out how to play it.

Dr. Raynor was certainly going to have some questions regarding his positive mood, but he would deal with that just fine.

A/N: How do we feel about Bucky's characterization here? I hope we feel swell.

As always, my requests are open so send away because I'm on summer break and in dire need of some entertainment!

Much love.

[unsaidholland]

forever | h. osterfield

i don’t know what came over me, but all of a sudden i’m ready to get married so i wrote this

songs i listened to while writing this: us against the world - coldplay; lover of mine - 5sos; colour me in - damien rice

warnings: none! just a lot of fluff :)

waking up without harrison was something you were used to. usually due to filming, you often found yourself waking up without him for months at a time. he would try to bring you along with him, but you had work of your own back home to take care of. today was different. you were getting married, and in tradition, you two weren’t allowed to see each other until the ceremony, until you take the first steps that begun the process of sharing the rest of your life with harrison.

you and your bridal party arrived at the venue and begun to settle into a room. the venue was in the process of being set up for the ceremony as you and your bridesmaids sat down on the charcoal couches that lined the back wall of the room, waiting for the makeup artist and hairstylist to arrive.

“i know this is meant to be so stressful, but why am i so calm right now?” you asked your best friend and maid of honour, maia.

“just wait until later, i bet you ten dollars that you’ll go crazy!” she responded. the other girls in the room were quick to laugh at her remark, you alongside them. grateful for your best friends calming you down, the nerves that came with getting married quickly disappeared.

meanwhile, on the other side of the venue, harrison, tom, harry, tuwaine, and sam were lounging around. a playlist of harry’s was playing through the bluetooth speaker that they had brought with them, all of them rapping along to the song that was playing. harrison’s nerves were eased as he noticed his best friends were acting as if this was an everyday occurrence. 

hours later, you were sitting in a chair getting your makeup done while your curls were setting. your bridesmaids were all in their dresses, waiting to either get their hair done or their makeup done. only two hours left until you would be walking down the aisle until you could finally see harrison.

harrison and the rest of his groomsmen were already in their suits. all uncomfortable due to the summer heat. a knock at the door broke their golf talk. tom, being harrison’s best man, got up and went to answer the door.

“hi mum!” nikki was hired as your wedding photographer. the day harrison proposed to you, you both knew your wedding photographer had to be nikki. she was like a second mother to him, and he wouldn’t have anyone else taking care of the photos that he would have for the rest of his life. tom let her into the room, closing the door shortly after.

“you guys look so good! are you ready haz?” nikki gave harrison a hug, which he immediately reciprocated. they pulled away from each other, and the simple hug helped to relax him ever so slightly. his mum was in the bridal suite with, who was soon to become his mother in law, getting their hair and makeup done. she promised to pop back in later, but he didn’t know when later was, and he needed her presence just to calm him down. nikki’s presence, unbeknownst to her, made harrison feel a little better. 

“i’m terrified but excited,” harrison said, then turned around to look at himself in the mirror. he smoothed down the navy blue suit jacket that matched his dress pants, then fiddling with the light grey tie, never seeming to get it centred. “fucking hell!” he exclaimed as he threw his hands up in the air, frustrated at the piece of fabric. his left hand immediately gravitated towards his blonde hair, running through it as if it would rake away his nerves, while his right hand fell to his side. 

though the music was still playing in the background, the room fell silent at harrison’s small outburst. knowing damn well he was nervous and the boys couldn’t do anything to help calm him down, nikki walked over to harrison and centred his tie. she tenderly placed her right hand on his cheek and gave him a small smile.

“everything’s gonna be okay, yeah?” 

• • • 

you looked at your reflection in the mirror and smiled. the white dress you had tried on almost five months prior, seemed to fit better than ever. the white detailing of the bodice seemed to almost sparkle in the light, even though there were no beads or sequins. today was perfect, but on the inside, you were terrified. you knew nothing was going to ruin your relationship with harrison, but everything else was out of your control at this point, leaving you riddled with nerves. it was your day, and you wanted everything to be perfect, that was all. who could blame you? 

“hey, darling! let’s get you ready to walk down the aisle, yeah?” your wedding director brought you out to where you would be walking down the aisle. your bridal party had already begun to walk down with harrison’s groomsmen, but soon it was your turn. 

soon enough, you stood in front of harrison. he stared at you as if you were the most beautiful person he had ever seen in his life. the officiator was talking, but all you could focus on was the man in front of you, the man who soon would be yours forever. 

your eyes ran up and down his body subtly, admiring the way the navy of his suit contrasted with the light grey tie, admiring the way his blue eyes seemed to shine a little brighter. you felt a small smile appear on your face as the two of you looked at each other. this is the beginning of forever, you thought.

“and now, the vows.” harrison turned around to tom who handed him folded pages, a little crinkled from being in his pockets all day. you turned around to your maid of honour who handed you your cue cards. as you turned back around to face harrison, you let out a quiet giggle as he furrowed his brows to try and decipher his writing.

“y/n, for the past four years, i have been so lucky to have someone as beautiful, kind-hearted, and amazing as you by my side.” he paused as tears started welling up in the corners of his eyes.

“you have supported me through the highs and lows of my career, and have been my biggest fan. i couldn’t have asked for a better girlfriend, best friend- sorry tom, fiancée, and now wife.” tears were starting to well up in your eyes as he professed his love to you.

he flipped the paper over, then continued, “i know our relationship hasn’t been the easiest, and that my job isn’t the most stable thing, but you are the one thing i know i’ll have forever. i know i’ve made so many mistakes baby, and when i look at my life and everything i’ve done, you’re the only thing that i think i’ve got right. i promise to be the best husband, and most importantly i promise that i’ll continue to love you forever and always.” tears continued to roll down both your cheeks as he finished. he smiled at you, and you smiled back at him.

the officiant gestured to you to begin your vows you looked down at the cards, then back up at harrison who was wiping his tear stained cheeks with the back of his hand.

“h, the day we started dating, i knew in my heart that it was going to be you and i for forever.” you paused to take a breath, choking up immediately. you looked up at harrison, and a smile appeared on his face as if he was telling you to take your time. “you have always amazed me with who you are as a person and how pure your heart is. you continue to help me grow every single day, and no matter what i know you’re always here for me even if you’re filming on the other side of the world.”

you looked up at him to see his expression. tears were running down his cheeks as he listened to your words. you looked back down at your cue cards and continued, “it’ll always be us against the world, love. from the day we started dating, ‘till the day we die. i’m yours forever, osterfield.” you looked back up at him with a smile on your face, and tears running down your cheeks.

“the rings please?” the officiant asked. harrison’s nephew, accompanied by his niece, brought the rings up to the officiant. you had harrison’s ring in your hand, and he had yours.

“with this ring, i thee wed,” harrison said, after instructed by the officiant, while sliding the ring onto your finger.

“with this ring, i thee wed.” you slid harrison’s ring onto his finger and smiled up at him.

“by the power vested in me, i now pronounce you husband and wife. you may now kiss the bride.” the two of you leaned into each other, kissed, and pulled away to look at each other.

“i love you,” you said, quiet enough for only him to hear.

“i love you too, beautiful girl.”

the two of you held hands as you walked back down the aisle, away from the officiant, taking your first steps as husband and wife.

[eolewyn1010]

30 questions

@fanpersoningfox tagged me, so I guess I’mma just...

Name/nickname: Eolewyn

Gender: cis female, I think?

Star sign: Libra

Height: 1.63m/5'4″

Birthday: 10th day of the 10th month, duh

Fave bands: Queen, Blue Oyster Cult, Styx. Perhaps My Chemical Romance, a bit? Dunno, we don’t know each other for long yet.

Fave solo artist: Dvořák, but don’t tell Beethoven I said that (yes, I do listen to that unironically. Yes, I’m weird. Move on.)

Song stuck in my head: Korobeiniki

Last movie I watched: The Prince of Egypt <3

Last show: Tatort. That really cringy Münster one yesterday, “Zwischen den Ohren”, I rage-quit it. Gotta find a good one now, preferably not Münster.

Creation of blog: Early 2019, but I only started really using it sometime November 2020.

What I post: My personal opinions on Tatort and Charité, some of my fanart, occasionally I’m just yammering about my life. Reblogging links or gifs of stuff I like, comments on my fanfic writing.

Last thing I googled: Widukind (the Saxonian duke, not the chronicler)

Other blogs I own: none at all!

Do I get asks: I got one or two altogether? Heh, I think there’s not much people would ask me.

Reason for my url: A long, long time ago, I picked Eowyn as my favorite LotR character (I was 13, I dunno) and, in a move that would make Tolkien and all his lingual skill want to burn me and piss on my ashes, randomly inserted another syllable. It kind of stuck because it was a name not yet in use wherever I came. The numbers are my birthday.

Following: 8 blogs (I can’t handle big amounts of social input. I still look through other’s blogs quite often; I just don’t want my dashboard full of stuff all the time. Prefer to choose what I look at.)

Followers: 36 blogs (not sure what they hope to find here, but cool?)

Average hours I sleep: 7 to 8, sometimes less. Depends on my emotional state.

Lucky number: 138

Instruments: Never learned one. If I could choose, it’d be the violin.

What I'm wearing: a white dress shirt and fancy dark grey waistcoat, less fancy blue jeans and a really ugly grey cardigan that is literally one my grandpa used to wear; it’s just so warm and I get cold easily.

Dream trip: Circling through all of the former Roman Empire. Everything around the Mediterranean Sea, African and European side, plus Britain and all the way up into the Germanic provinces. Would be a very history-archaeology centered trip with Entirely Too Much Info.

Fave food: Potato soup; I’m a Saxonian girl.

Nationality: German

Fave song: Viva la Vida, the only Coldplay song I’ll never stop listening to.

Last book I read: Alan Bradley’s “The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie”, first of the Flavia de Luce series - those are really clever, cynical mystery thrillers with an 11-year-old hobby detective, set in the 1950s. Having a blast with ‘em.

Top 3 fictional universes I'd like to live in: I’m more one for time-travels than fictional ones, actually... let’s say it’s Stargate (from SG-1 times), the Gunnerkrigg Court, and my personal version of Atlantis.

Fave color(s): dark blue, dark red (not muted tho - a “juicy”, rich kind of dark colors)

Tag someone: Oh god, no idea, I don’t like asking someone that sort of thing... @thotstochter and @xxdreamiiloeyxx - you in the mood? It’s fine if not.

[purplesurveys]

1191

survey by voicedance16

name yourself: Robyn

name (one of) your best friend(s): Angela; she’s for keeps.

name 3 things in your fridge/freezer: I don’t think I opened the fridge at all today, but if I had to guess...eggs, bread, and our pad thai leftovers from dinner earlier.

name a color you're wearing currently: Green.

name the last thing you ate: I treated myself and ordered spicy tuna salad tonight because I had a shit shift. It’s been a while since I felt a little burned out with my job, but it happened today and it wasn’t very pleasant.

name the last store you went to: I never go out these days...does online shopping count? I’m always browsing through Shopee, if anything lol.

name the song you're listening to: ON - BTS.

name the artist of that song: BTS.

name your favorite animal: Dogs or elephants.

name what pets you have, if any:  Two dogs. Kimi, Cooper.

name the town/state you live in: No thanks. I live near Manila though, which is probably the only city most people know from the Philippines anyway so that should suffice.

name something commonly ordered at Starbucks: I think my usual is a pretty common order – caramel macchiato.

name the last person you talked to in person: Not sure. I think it may have been Nina? I was just jokingly asking her if her bias recognized her again on a VLive, since her comments have been read by her favorite group recently, and she tells me they even laugh at them :( Perks of liking a smaller, more underground group for sure; pigs would have to fall from the sky before anyone from BTS notices me lol.

name the last person you talked to on the phone: My mom. I didn’t hear her calling for dinner last night, so she ended up having to call me from downstairs while I was hanging out at the rooftop.

name the current day of the week: Tuesday.

name the current month: May.

name the current time: 10:22 PM.

name the last movie you watched: I have not watched an entire movie since i’m thinking of ending things back in September. I did watch a snippet from Portrait of a Lady on Fire a few weeks ago, though. That’s the closest thing I’ve got to watching any film recently.

name the last book you read: This one I’m even more uncertain about.

name a place you've been on vacation: South Korea.

name a place you'd like to go on vacation: Malta or Turkey.

name 3 things you can see from where you're sitting: It’s pretty dark so I technically can’t ‘see’ anything, but based on what I know I brought up to the rooftop tonight I have my phone, my salad, and my vape pen.

name your favorite musical: Miss Saigon, if anything. I’m not a big fan of musicals.

name an animal (any): Turtle was the first that came to mind.

name a fruit: Mangoes.

name a vegetable: Lettuce.

name a common breakfast food: Pancakes. They’d sound so good rn, too.

name a color: Grey.

name a type of flower: Dandelions.

name a type of tree: Uh...mango again? HAHA I’m not very good with trees.

name a city: New York.

name a state: Indiana.

name a country: India.

name a continent: Asia.

name a planet: Jupiter.

name a girl's name: Jessica.

name the last person to comment you on Facebook: Angela. She tagged me on this post that was promoting a local shop that makes customized face pillows and she told me we should order a Taehyung one for me and a Seokjin one for her, hahaha. The concept is definitely cute but it wasn’t my style, so I showed her another shop that also makes face pillows, but prettier.

name a clothing store/brand: Thom Browne.

name the last book you got at the library: If I remember correctly, it was History of the Filipino People which, coincidentally, my great-uncle wrote.

name a restaurant: Yabu but eugh, haven’t eaten there since the breakup. I should order from them soon to commemmorate moving on heheh.

name a grocery store: Can I just name a local one? SM.

name an iPhone app: YouTube.

name an actor: Eddie Redmayne.

name an actress: Emma Stone.

name a music group: BTS.

name your favorite/lucky number: It used to be 4, but I’m now going with 7.

name something you've accomplished: Continued from...last night, I think? I have no concept of time anymore. I managed to survive this week so far considering how deadly my schedule was.

name something you'd like to accomplish: Get a promotion once I’ve proven myself capable.

name someone who makes you laugh: Hans can make anything funny.

name something exciting coming up soon: Some of my online shopping orders arriving I’m guessing by later today, yayyyy.

name a song that makes you emotional: Oh man, there are a lot. O by Coldplay is probably the one that hits the worst, though; I still can’t listen to that song completely to this day. Recently, I also can’t really avoid being sad whenever I listen to Butterfly by BTS.

name one of your pet peeves: Overly slow drivers.

name someone you know who is an amazing singer: Hannah.

name someone who is the same religion as you: JM.

name a holiday you celebrate: Christmas.

name the last 4 digits of your phone number: That’s too many, lmao.

name one of your cousins: My cousin Lei from my dad’s side.

name a book you loved when you were younger: The entire Septimus Heap series. I must’ve reread Magyk (the first book) a hundred times.

name a song you loved when you were younger: Let’s go withhhhh Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne. Making sure there were no adults around whenever I sang along to “I’m a motherfucking princess” as an 8 year old was always a thrill.

name your favorite movie: Two for the Road.

name a popular book series: Percy Jackson.

name a musical instrument: Saxophone.

name a language: French.

name what other tabs you have open: Archive of our Own, Dailymotion, Bzoink.

name 3 things on the walls of the room you're in: The walls of the rooftop are bare.

name your house number 4.

name your high school: Nope.

name your college, if applicable: UP.

name your middle school See high school.

name your elementary school: See high school.

name the college you wish you went to/hope to go to: I was able to qualify for the university and degree I wanted to attend.

name your favorite teacher: My music teacher in high school.

name the color of your backpack: Hm, don’t really use backpacks anymore but the main one I had in college - at least until I switched to a simple handbag (aka my senior year when I started to not care lol) - was a pink Herschel backpack.

name a dessert: Leche flan.

name a famous landmark: Statue of Liberty, only because of the question after this.

name a place you might go in NYC: Tiffany’s.

name an inventor: Nikola Tesla.

name an article of clothing: Jeans.

name an ice cream flavor: Pistachio.

name a religion: Islam.

name an emotion: Resentment.

name a room in your house: Mine.

name a website: Twitter.

name a car: Hyundai Palisade.

name something you need to do today: It’s a holiday today so I technically should be off work, but since it’s a holiday squished in the middle of the week that’s just another way of saying my dayoff will be a scam lmao. That said, I need to draft an article today for a client.

name someone you admire: My dad.

name someone you miss: My two best friends.

name a part of the body: Thighs.

name the last youtube video you watched: It was a Taehyung-focused compilation.

name a quote you love: “If you really love to be loved, it’d be good to show those who love you how much you’ve changed.” There’s some background context obviously playing around in here and most people might not recognize the weight it holds if they’re unfamiliar, but it’s a quote that really means a lot to me and came to me during a time I needed to hear it.