#cold as fuck tho dayum

[little-shiny-sharpies]

I wanna play with my beloveds in the snow, make intricate snow forts with Kalec complete with nice chairs for us to sit in and play hide n seek in the cold dark night with Wrathy and then warm my cold fingers on his tummy 🥰

[cutieghost-artsie]

…..what

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT EPISODE??!!!!!

DAFUQ MY GUY, MY GOOD SIR,

COUNT YOUR DAYS!!!!!

It’s midnight and I’m crying

Skibidi toilet episode 74 spoilers

This episode thrown me in for a damn loop de loop holy shit!!

The new tv character? Elite? Is really cool but kinda cold but that’s to be expected, he’s probably seen a lot and had to do a lot to be that way

Still no speakerwoman, dafuq pleasseee just a glimpse, that’s all I’m asking for

Brownie/simp is still alivveeeee ;-;

So many new charactersssss ooooo new cameraman??? : o!!!!

I love all the different colors of the speakermen, they’re all so cute!!

Awee the one who drove the toilet in the previous episode came backkk

Damn there’s still some humans but holy shit they’re infected???!!

Fnaf jumpscare sound Istfg lol

Oooo gman is up to something!!!!!???!!!

Pfftttt XD Dom reference, ur not slick lol, I see u lol

Ooooo tv base got something to hiddeeeee?????!!! : O

Dayum TTV WAS MADDDDDD

I love the moments between all of the titans in that short time frame

All of the speakermen and T-speak dancing aweeeee, what could possibly go wrongggg

HOLY SHIT THATS DIRTY A COMPLETE AMBUSH

MY BOY, T-CAM MY BOYYY, DAFUQ PLEASE I WAS JOKING WHEN I SAID HE’S MORE LIKELY TO DIE, PLEASE DONT KILL HIM OFF

T-SPEAK SCREAMING NO! AS HE REACHED OUT TO T-CAM SHATTERED MY HEART INTO A MILLION PIECESSSSS

“I CAN’T LOSE YOU BOTH” BRUHHHH THAT MADE ME CRY LIKE STRAIGHT UP WATERWORKS

I CAN IMAGINE HE’S FEELING GUILTY AND UPSET ABOUT T-CAM TOO AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Self sacrificing, heroic mfer I swear, this would most definitely be a way on how he would go out but please let t-cam still be aliveeee tho pleasseeee

I love these titans way too much!

No eep. Only cry!!!!!

[jazzzz-zz]

~Confessions~

Hiii this is my first smut so please feel free to tell me how I did :)

----NSFW warning----- AGED UP---- female reader---- Also, Kyle's lines are green and Y/n's are blue :)

It was cold and cloudy and you just got done cleaning up the house and took a shower. Your dad was outside hanging out with the other dads of the neighborhood watching sports in the garage and your mom was talking to Sharon, Sheila, Carol, and Liane. Your just relaxing on your bed when all the sudden you hear the doorbell ring.

Coming! You shout and run downstairs and answer the door. Hey, wanna hangout? Im bored and No, the guys arent coming. Kennys Busy, Cartmans playing video games and Stan's out with Wendy. Oh, sure! I was just gonna text you. Come inside, we can hangout upstairs. You had liked him for a while but never confessed because you were scared he wouldnt like you. You were a bit more on the...less Feminine side. Yea, you liked wearing makeup but not heavy makeup.And you dressed a bit differently.

He sits on the bed next to you. Wanna watch a movie on your tv? hmm? sure! put anything on idc. cool He sits up close to you under the blanket and watches the movie. He see's you go on your phone and smacks it. C'mon Y/N, lets hangout. He leans to you and says playfully. GOD DAYUM you loved when he randomly says your name. Alright, i will. hold up i needa get my water. He was on the side thats next to your nightstand. You reach over him and go to get your water but accidentally latch onto his thigh for support.

Shit! i- uh sorry! You both just stare at eachother and blush. His face reaction calms down a bit. You didnt notice it, but he almost was giving a lustful expression. No no, your fine. He grins. It just goes silent for a few minutes.

Your still blushing from the incident. You dont know what to do. Do you confess? You hesitate for a bit. You already apoligized but you need something to break the silence.You finally decide to just confess. Yes, you felt like it was an awkward time to but you needed to get it off your chest.

Hey uh kyle? You stuttered nervously. Hmm? Yea whats up? Ok so I need to tell you something important and I get it if you uh..."disagree". OK? He giggles a bit. Dude, chill out. just tell me. He laughs. Ok so...I like you. Like, well not like, I love you. I get if you dont feel the same i dont wanna ruin our friendship. He lifts your chin up to him and giggles. I love you to...thought it was obvious lmao. That or your just blind. He laughs and kisses you. So...wanna be official? y-yea would love to.

you then shift yourself so now your ontop of him and kiss him. Is this alright? He blushes. Perfect. He then pulls your face to his and starts making out with you. Hold on... He takes his jacket off. He has a black shirt on underneath. He then pins you and starts kissing you again.

He grabs onto your lower waist and pauses to look at you. Wanna continue? You try and catch your breath first before you can speak. Please. You then wrap your arms around his neck and continue kissing him. You look at him and smirk.

Without even saying anything he takes off his shirt. He was muscular but not like...bulky or anything. He was fucking hot tho. You take your shirt off and your pants. He looks at your body and blushes as you look at his. He still has pants on. You sit on the bed and blush. Your in your underwear and a bra.

He slides off his pants and you both begin kissing again. You get off of him and he sits up on the edge of the bed. Is something wrong? No. You giggle a bit and kneel down and place your hands on his thighs and look up at his face. Are you- you then pull down his boxers and his Hard member springs up. I- what the fuck. What? Is something wrong? No, nothings wrong. You just stare....amazed but almost intimidated.

You look up at him then down at his Member and put it in your mouth. He puts his hand on your head and bury's his fingers in your hair. Aa- y-y/n~ He moans and starts making whimpers. You then pull your mouth off and stand up. Ready? you say out of breath. Y-yea

You run to under the bathroom sink and grab a condom. You slip it on him and sigh. Ok...let me just... You sit on him as hes laying down and press your hands on his chest. He smirks at you and covers his mouth. Ready? He says removing his hand. Mhm. You blush. You steadily push him inside of you. You gasp as you feel yourself climb down him. He puts his hands on your waist and looks at you. You can start whenever you want He smiles.

a-alright. You feel his hands grip onto your hips tighter as you slowly shift your weight in and up and down motion. F-fuck. A moan escapes from his lips.

H-how does that feel? You almost struggle trying to say. Amazing~ You can feel him pounding against your core. He gets up then pins you and digs his head into your shoulder. He whimpers and grunts as he thrusts back and fourth into you.

fuck i think im close- You dig your hands into his back. Me to He then goes a bit faster and then stops. You felt him become deep and then you moan loudly and he has to use his hand to cover your mouth. You both reached your climax and you just lay there, out of breath.

He lays next to you and just looks at you. You were fucking amazing He says and kisses your forehead. Y-you to...we should get cleaned up now tho You sit up and laugh. Yea..probably a good idea. You both kiss and then start getting cleaned up.

HIIII!!!!! please let me know how i did omfg lmao im so nervous it turned out bad! Thanks for reading it and i hope you enjoyed it :))))) this is my first smut lol

[radiantlyrey]

Thoughts on Uprising eps9&10 Scars

Part One

- cold open: well this is all about Dyson from the start, huh? that dude has the pointiest possible chin, I’ve gotta say. also the scan results on his ship “highest security clearance; by sovereign order of Clu” like DAYUM somebody’s top dog, huh???? and why am I not surprised that Tron has a bug on the port scanners specifically for this guy??

- speaking of the port scanners: where the fuck even is Argon? what is the local geography? like there’s a big ocean like thing? and a mountainous snowy area??? the hell??? things I want/need: a map of the whole ass Grid!!!!!! damn!!

- for once our heroes and villains agree: Dyson fuckin sucks. can’t say that I disagree with that assessment; he is a smarmy bastard at the LEAST. love his VA, though; the voice has just the right balance of danger on the one hand, and whine on the other. and meanwhile Tron is……… not handling this well. Obviously. What with the torture and all. That said, Beck’s plan to get Dyson’s disc and spare his life is a good one, which… good for Beck, sometimes his plans kind of suck. Wish Tron was in a mood to actually listen to him, tho….

- flashback 1: okay even here Dyson feels like a bit of a tryhard/sycophant. I do love seeing a bit more of the tensions between Isos and programs. it seems like a really fundamental part of the whole story of the Grid; here are these programs without Users, without makers, without base functions beyond their own existence, and…. they just want to be a part of things. the Grid is their home, too. and programs don’t seem to like that, for the same reason anyone anywhere can be xenophobic. it sucks, but damn does it make for good storytelling. the riot is a mess, as riots usually are, but it’s damn good for story reasons.

- meanwhile at Tron’s place: nicely done on the simulation, Beck, you’re improving all the time!!! sucks that, uh, Tron is……….. not doing well… or trusting you………. and stuff………..

- flashback 2: so Dyson has gone from eager puppy to hardened bigot pretty damn quick, huh?? also nice to see that I have been hitting the mark on anti-Iso sentiments in some of my fics. Clu’s grandstanding on his lightcycle is painfully him, especially with all those Isos around… and then Flynn!!!! good to see you! wish you were a little more understanding about……… everything to do with the Iso-program tensions, tho!! like. for real…….

- then Beck tries to show Tron that he can get Dyson’s disc without having to capture him, and he does a damn good job!! I love that he is sticking to his principles here, good for him. it’s just a shame that Tron is…. not very receptive right now. UGH. PLEASE STOP TRON. I LOVE YOU. PLEASE STOP.

- then as Pavel and Paige are giving Dyson the tour, Dyson twigs on Beck’s trap and is…. a smarmy bastard as usual about it. Beck barely manages to get out unseen. (also I see Dyson using that tracking thing Rinzler uses in Legacy!!! What is up with that!!!!!!!!) love that Pavel is trying to get in Dyson’s good graces while Paige is protecting Tesler’s reputation—very in character for both of them!!

- flashback 3: WELP. love how we see a new perspective on what wasn’t shown in Legacy. also love how Clu has leveraged Dyson’s anger and turned him into an ally. there is that line about perfection, which is unsurprising, it’s Clu. and Clu is following his directive as he sees it, and there is no room for disfigured programs in a perfect system.

- and then Beck goes back to Tron and JESUS FUCK TRON!!!!! FUCK. SHIT. WHAT WAS THAT. HOLY SHIT. WHAT. WHAT. STOPPPPPPP

- (tho Bruce Boxleitner’s delivery of “I don’t need your permission” was fucking BONE-CHILLING. DAMN.)

Part Two

- cold open: Beck sweetie, you’re doing amazing, but the mere fact that Tron isn’t even talking to you is…. a Bad Fuckin Sign. the lightcycle chase here is really well done, though, love action sequences like this. (and they were probably trying to get more action sequences in this episode because the fights are few and far between this episode.)

- love that Tesler et al are (badly) trying to pretend that the Renegade is No Big Deal, though Dyson has cottoned on pretty quickly that the Renegade is a perennial thorn in Tesler’s side. Still, watching them all kind of flail around the facts is mildly hilarious, and I’ll take whatever levity I can get in this episode….

- flashback 4: getting in some psychological torture before the actual torture starts, I see! the programs in tubes thing while they’re repurposed is Creepy as FUCK and I do not like it. and they just put Tron in there to make him watch and it’s awful and I hate it and uGH

- Tron + Beck fight: fdsj;dajk;adgj;dfjk;dgj;kadjk; HELPPPPPPPPPPP THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGGGGGG (AGAIN) (HELP) and poor Beck, he’s trying really hard to make Tron see sense and it’s not working and ugh, poor bb. also this feels like one of those plots that would be solved if everyone sat down and TALKED IT OUT, tho I completely understand why Tron does not want to. like. completely. still tho.

- Paige and Pavel scene: again, grateful for whatever levity I can get here. Paige’s loyalty to Tesler is kind of admirable, whereas Pavel is grasping for whatever straw of power he can find, even if it means deliberate sabotage. thank god Paige isn’t falling for his bullshit. (also Pavel’s “Maybe?” to Paige’s question fuckiin SENT ME, lol)

- flashback 5: buckle up kiddos, it’s time for TORTURE!!!!!! IN A KID’S SHOW!!! THAT THEY RATED FOR FLIPPING SEVEN YEAR OLDS!!!!!! I couldn’t believe it 10 years ago and I can’t believe it now. well….. um. what I want to know is HOW they got THIS past BS&P (aka the Board of Standards and Practices, aka the people who basically say what is and is not appropriate for a given audience). it’s torture. it’s not even disguised or called something else. it isn’t CALLED torture, but it’s torture. Dyson is hurting Tron in an attempt to get him to give in and change sides. it’s torture. the frickin guards outside the door even talk about how “why doesn’t he scream? everyone else does.” like seriously. WHAT THE FUCK. and Dyson destroying Tron’s face is just…….. eeeh. yikes, my guy. maybe stop. maybe you have a complex? about your supposedly perfect fixed face and the injury you got?? maybe STOP????

- Tron + Dyson fight: this was good fucking shit. just well made action, good cuts away to Beck’s dilemma (one edit where it cuts from Beck’s disc to Tron blocking Dyson was SO GOOD I EXCLAIMED ABOUT IT). and then Tron is totally bout to kill a dude, but Beck is there in the background and idk if Tron spots him or not, but fdsajk;dfasj that moment when he drops Dyson was just UGH. GOOD SHIT GOOD SHIT

- flashback 6: HO SHIT CYRUS!!!!!! I DID NOT REALIZE!!!!!!!!!!!! (seriously I only watched up to The Stranger 10 years ago and I don’t think Cyrus was named in that ep??? I can’t remember!!!) saying the same thing as Beck about not letting the revolution die before it gets started!! WHAT!!!!!!!

- the ending: Tesler’s glad Dyson’s gone, so yay for him, I guess? and then Tron FINALLY apologizes to Beck (doesn’t tell him shit, as usual, but I’ll take an apology) which made me feel good, and then—

- the coda: Dyson returns to Clu with a message: TRON LIVES. and just casually derezzes a guard so no one else knows. and UGHHHH WHAT MIGHT HAVE COME OF THIS!!!!!! I haven’t even finished the show and I am upset there was never a second season!!!! UGHHHHH

in conclusion:

THIS WAS GOOD SHIT. EASILY THE BEST EPS SO FAR. MY GOD. 1000000/10 WOULD WATCH AND FEEL ALL THE EMOTIONS AGAIN.

[violeswaifu]

Okay time for my wonderful Masamune Spam and my conclusion of his route. I didn’t originally plan to do his right away but I decided to take a break from the shadow routes and wanted to finish Kojuro’s/Masamune’s pair since I could skip the starter route.

(I did like three shadow routes back to back, with one tearing my heart in half)

Masamune’s route was really cute and I think I got caveties during some of the stories.

I swear his Family is so fucked up like my dislike for his mom and uncle are on par with my dislike for Saizo and Hotaru’s sister Yuki. She’s crazy asf. EXCEPT HIS LITTLE BROTHER, HES SO CUTE LIKE I CANT

I’m doing Genya’s route right now so seeing the Date clan from a different light is really interesting especially Masamune. How shy and cold he is, basically like the start of his route

I love Shigezane too tho. I haven’t heard many people talking about his route but I’ll do it to completely finish the Date triplets.

Okay I’m not sure if I should describe his route besides the fact that I swear I got my virginity back. Nothing compared to his event stories tbh 😂

LONG SUMMARY AND LONG OPINION AHEAD:

Okay so in my honest opinion I did like his a bit better than Kojuro’s as far as how cute/funny it could be. I guess since Kojuro is an older love interest it would be the opposite. (I wonder how old Masamune is tho tbh. Same with MC. Is she around the same age as Ninja Mc? Because Mitsunari is like 18/19 so he’s younger than her ofc(Early 20s)

His route summary kinda spoilers: You get sent to Oshu in disguise as your brother to be a poison tester for Date Masamune. Also known as The One Eyed Dragon because of the rumor of him having a demon in right eye. After wandering around you come across Masamune making his own food at night, it ends up salty asf so you make him new food. From this you become Masamune’s personal page and chef.

While spending time with him you learn to understand his hesitance towards women (his evil ass mom who hates him because of his eye. Basically one eye is a different color than the other. Green and blue) you also witness the disdain the clan has for him because of his eye and the rumor. They’re scared of him, ( unlike other routes where the love interest finds out you’re a women kinda fast), Masamune remains oblivious and the only people who find out are Kojuro+Shigezane. Anyways eventually you are able to get the clan to see the real Masamune and how amazing he actually is. Whole time this going on his uncle and mom plotting his death smh. (Is that a spoiler? Idk)

Spoiler in bold words skip if you don’t want to see it:

•Spoiler: His dad dies and it completely tore him apart like he stopped eating and sleeping. What made it worse is his mom blamed him until the end of the route smh

End of Spoiler

Anyways I liked it, it was cute, kinda wish there were some moments like “😳dayum” but it’s understandable from a guy who has been traumatized by women/a woman since birth. Him also finding out the MC was a girl was kinda weird but also expected, like I knew he was going to find out then, but was also curious as to how he never noticed this. Like as far as periods, how did no one catch on, the maids didn’t even know from what I remember. Did she ask Kojuro for help or what? Idk so those were plot holes

Spoiler: They went to visit her family in the city, MC turned back into a girl so Masamune was all awkward again but got cut by Yukimura on accident and when he tried to fight Masamune. Masamune wrapped her cut. When they were leaving (dressed as a boy again) MC started to get sick (Period) and passed out when Masamune gave her a piggyback ride. He saw the cut and was like oh shit.)

Kinda spoiler?: MC admitted her love after he found out about her gender and Masamune didn’t admit his until she was almost killed by his mom smh.

I recommend it if you like cute and wholesome things. Him admitting his love to her was also a bit rushed but i guess it’s because of the circumstances that were going on?

I guess you could say Kyo also had a route where it was wholesome but it did have a bit more action and moments.

Funny thing is, Genya actually disguises himself as Masamune sometimes for like safety things (he goes to meetings disguised because people yk might be out to kill him) so I love it. I also love Masamune’s reaction to Genya’s dog 🥰so cute

Anyways I like Genya’s and might do a mid route review but I get anxiety every chapter thinking Sakuya’s gonna pop out and kill MC. He did it in Kyoichiro’s! Like good lord. I doubt this all made sense but my ADHD said it did

Edited this for grammar mistakes, sorry I was like “I think this is good.

I think until I finish Genya’s I’ll do a light love interest spam, with their pictures from the events and story ones I have. Gotta keep in touch

[emiadegorbon]

Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies {This is the story of how I died-and used a lot of cuss words because I am over-excited} [SPOILERS]

I just watched BotFA for the first time and I swear every time Tauriel came on screen I wanted to shout,

“WHO THE FUCK IS THIS BITCH?”

And I was really pissed that Kili died for her and not defending his uncle Thorin (as well as Fili, fuck Azog) like the honorable cinnroll he is.

I WAS REALLY SAD THE BIRDS WEREN’T IN THERE THE BIRD THAT CAME AND TALKED ANDTOLD BARD WHERE TO AIM THE BLACK ARROW LIKE THAT PART WAS REALLY COOL.

I was also sad that Bilbo didn’t spot the eagles first, but that’s nitpicky of me. Just because I drew (no, literally I did a 12x10 pencil sketch) that moment doesn’t mean it had to be in the movie. [recap: JUSTINCASEYOUDIDN’TFUCKINGBELIEVE]

That twerp whose name I can’t remember who was this cowardly piece of shit did nothing in the whole movie but make us fucking hate him. Every scene it was blatant discount Wormtongue. But we saw Wormtongue murder Saruman. This assbag did jack-shit. [recap: his name is Alfrid that motherfucker]

WTHA FUCK WERE THOSE BIG ASS BATS?????

How come Dain was completely computer created? Did Connolly just not want to be there? If you put him in a beard, HE WOULD LOOK LIKE A GREAT DWARF. Oh. Oh wait. Was Dain at the Council of Elrond? THIS EXPLAINS IT.

DWARF MOUNTAIN GOATS EX MACHINA.

Why TF did Thorin stand there while Azog floated under him? Like that son of a bitch couldn’t break through that ice? BITCH U HAD IT COMIN.

So I think I remember from DoS that Legolas has a crush on Tauriel but it’s a fuck idea because she ain’t in LotR and I think she would be if this happened.

NOW FOR THE THINGS I’M NOT BITCHING ABOUT:

Some may think that Legolas wasn’t in the book but gUYS I THINK IT WAS GREAT WE SAW MORE BADASS MOVES AND WE SAW THRANDUIL WITH HIM AND THEY MENTIONED HIS MOTHER

WHICH, BY THE WAY, ADDED MORE TENSION FOR THRANDUIL WHICH WAS BRILLIANT

AND THE FACT THORIN KICKED AZOG’S WHITE ASS WITH LEGOLAS’S ELVEN BLADE WAS THE BEST FUCKING THING EVER I DON’T EVEN HAVE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THE MINDBLOW.

When Thorin tossed the boulder into Azog’s hands and stepped off the ice tip I LAUGHED SO FUCKING HARD, THORIN LOOKS SO SMUG.

Thorin watching Fili die killed me. hE WHISPERS HIS NAME BEFORE RUNNING OFF, I AM DEAD

CAN WE TAKE A FUCKING MOMENT TO JUST APPRECIATE THE BREATHTAKING JOB MARTIN FREEMAN DID. EVERYTHING. ESPECIALLY THORIN’S DEATH WAS EXCELLENTLY EXECUTED HE KILLS ME

I was really happy Bilbo sobbed because it was at that point in the book I had to stop and whimper it was just really important to me okay and I am grateful from the deepest recesses of my soul.

“Nothing gets past me.” “Except a big ass elf army, iT APPEARS,” said Bard as he stared at a host of armored elves two inches from his face.

Thranduil is cold af but AT THE END WHEN HE TELLS LEGOLAS TO NOT ONLY SEEK OUT ARAGORN (I FANGIRLED SO HARD, IT MAY NOT BE IN THE BOOK BUT IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME) BUT HE SAID HIS MOTHER LOVED HIM MORE THAN ANYTHING AND I THINK I STOPPED BREATHING. ALSO THEIR FAREWELL WAS MORE TOUCHING THAN TAURIEL KISSING CORPSE GERMS AND ALL THEY DID WAS MOTION WITH THEIR HANDS - STEP UP YOUR GAME, BITCHSTRESS [recap: I am not name-calling Kili]

BEORN JUMPED OFF AN EAGLE AND TURNED MID-AIR AND LANDED ON THE BATTLE FIELD AS A BEAR LIKE A FUCKING BADASS [recap: BEARDASS]

I was laughing so hard when the Orcs came out and everyone was standing in shock, Dain was like “FUCK YEAH I CAME HERE FOR A PARTY AND LOOKED WHO SHOWED UP - YOU WANNA TANGO MOTHAHFUCKAHS?”

AND THEN THE DWARVES RAN RIGHT UP THERE AND CREATED THIS DWARF SHIELD WALL IT WAS SO FUCKING COOL AND THEN THE ELVES JUMPED OVER THEM AND IT GOT COOLER I SWEAR MY ARMS WERE THE SOUL OF A GIANT SQUID.

I got way more excited about Billy Connolly being Dain than I care to admit - I am not kidding my parents looked at me as if I was have a seizure.

ELF ARMY IS THE FUCKING COOLEST, THEY PART AND FALL BACK PERFECTLY AND I THINK IS HAD A TINY FANGIRL HEART ATTACK WHEN THEY TOOK OUT THEIR BOWS AND AIMED AT THORIN AND THEN THRANDUIL MOTIONED THEM TO PUT THEM AWAY IT WAS SO COOL.

“THROW HIM OFF THE RAMPARTS,” [Me; in narrator voice] and he just about did.

Thorin’s Dragon Sickness was mindblowing. I hated Thorin and pitied him and had hope in him all at the same time and it was PERFECT. HIS DRAGONS ICKNESS VOICE THO. THE SPECIAL EFFECTS. DAYUM, PETER YOU KNOW UR SHIT.

AND THORIN’S WALK OVER THE GOLD WHILE THE VOICES RING IN HIS HEAD AND THE DRAGON SLITHERS UNDER HIM AND THE GOLD SWALLOWS HIM UP -and then it shows him far off just FLIP OFF HIS CROWN IFUCKINGDIED. [recap: know ur symbolism, bitches, it breaks hearts]

NDTHEEENNNNN THORIN KISSES HEAD-BUTS KILI AND I WAS HYPERVENTILATING BECAUSE OF THE CUTE. THE ACTING. I CAN’T.

Oh and Dain just CASUALLY headbutts orcs WITHOUT a helmet my mom and I giggled forever.

When Gandalf arrived at the crime scene, my mom leaned over to look at me and she goes, “I WAS GONE FOR TWO SECONDS.’”

GALADRIEL IS THE BEST BAMF AND FOREVER WILL BE MY FAVORITE BAMF SHE FUCKING BANISHED SAURON AND ALL HIS MIGHTY PRICK-NESS (granted she used the vial buT FUCKING STILL) I WAS SO PUMPED.

The spirit wraiths fighting Elrond and Saruman rival cool-levels with Thranduil on an Elk. [recap: RIP Elk. I was actually kind of maybe really upset don’t ask me why I don’t know it was a fucking elk]

I usually don’t talk during movies unless my parents ask a question, but when it showed Sauron and the nine wraiths forming his eye, I shouted, “THAT IS SO COOL.” Also, seizure warnings, everyone, Sauron is a dick with his strobe eyes. LIKE. DUDE. TONE DOWN THE PARTY IT’S TOO EARLY FOR THIS SHIT.

Saruman foreshadowing was satisfying af.

Elrond’s concern for Galadriel in that scene is much funnier and cuter once you realize she’s his mother-in-law. “MOM PLEASE, YOU’RE WEAK. YES MOM, I KNOW. (Saruman, would you get with it.) YES MOM, I KNOW, I KNOW WE SHOULD HAVE FIRED HIM MONTHS AGO, BUT YOU SEE, WE CAN’T. MOM. MOM. HE’S A WIZARD. YES MOM I KNOW WHO YOU ARE, I’M SURE YOU COULD. YES MOM. MOM PLEASE CALM DOWN.”

Bard who didn’t sign up for any of this shit and ends up as advocate to talk through the Dwarf window like, “Thorin, I swear by your gold-crusted beard, help me out, OR SO HELP ME.”

Bilbo walking up to his own home for auction glowering at the UNCULTURED SWINE. ALSO KNOWN AS SACKVILLE BAGGINS IF I MAY.

“Can you prove it?” *Martin Freeman-ly points at himself like a Martin Freeman on Bilbo steroids.*

IAN HOLM ASDLUFHGARDFJLAS IT’S THE BEGINNING OF ASLIAHSDG THE FELLOWSHIP ALDSAIFHGGDFJHK

And finally: I was so emotionally attacked by Billy Boyd singing his Final Farewell I almost cried. I WAS PROUD OF MY BOI BOYD WHEN DAD COMMENTED HOW GOOD HIS VOICE WAS I WAS THINKING, ‘FUCK YEAH, MY HOBBIT ROCKSTAR’

____________

@i-writethewebsites @dragonsamazing @figurinoutlife4 @walk-in-library Thought I would tag my mutus for my Middle-Earth melt-down.