#coffeepot locomotives

[hazel-of-sodor]

Entering service in 1883, TK&ET No.2 Callan was the Tramway's first purpose built locomotive. A coffeepot designed by Bertram Hatt (father to Sir Topham Derek Hatt), No.2 helped finish the line's construction beyond the first tunnel. With the railway's official opening in 1885 and the arrival of No.3, No.2 was assigned the goods work.

The No.2 would serve faithfully for 60 years, but was in poor shape by the end of World War II. Place soley on maintence trains, it would struggle on until its purchase by the Ffarquhar Quarry Company in 1951. No.2 was overhauled and entered service as the quarry's shunter. It would happliy trundle along the quarry network until 1964, when the quarry purchased their first diesel shunter. The future seemed bleak for No.2, and scrapp seemed inevitable. However for over 70 years, those who lived along the line had worked alongside No.2 and a group of them came together to form the Tidmouth, Knapford, and Elsbridge Tramway Preservation Society with the purpose of purchasing and restoring No.2. The Quarry agreed to hold the locomotive untilthe funds could be raised. July saw No.4, the last coffepot in service with the NWT, arrives to collect Callan for restoration. Four Months later, a ceremony was held were No.2 was offically handed over to the Tidmouth Rail Musuem, joining the original No.1 Glynn.

[kumatajdg]

Commission of coffeepot locomotives "Tid" and "Els" at Elsbridge.

[forestpines]

This vertical-boiler 0-4-0 was built in 1870 by Head Wrightson of Stockton. #railway #steamengine #locomotive #steamtrain #stockton #stocktonontees #headwrightson #verticalboiler #coffeepot (at Preston Park Museum and Grounds) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bzm5mcvnfmu/?igshid=5wdlfnn2pf9z

[whumpster-fire]

Just think of the 99% of Hatt Bullshit that must have taken place offscreen directed at the higher-ups of British Rail, though. Obviously there was some sort of obnoxious legal/political chicanery surrounding the creation of the North Western Region that let TFC2 get away with completely ignoring the modernization policy. You can’t tell me both TFC1 and TFC2 didn’t accomplish this by being so fucking annoying that nobody at BR wanted to have to go through the effort of dealing with layer after layer of shenanigans.

1948:

TFC1: “All right, we will be complying with nationalization, so long as we get our own region, and retain control over the selection of motive power.”

Exhausted BR management, having had to deal with this man for months: “Okay fuck it, fine.”

1952: TFC1 is getting old, management is really hoping he will finally retire or die and be replaced with someone “reasonable” when highly decorated Colonel Charles Topham Hatt II returns to Sodor and becomes Chief Mechanical Engineer. The reaction from management is simultaneously “oh, no,” and a faint hope that he will be somewhat easier to work with than his father.

1954: TFC1 finally retires, Charles gets elected by the NWR board to the surprise of no one. British Railways, which has been discussing dieselization in earnest, starts putting pressure on Charles to go along with it

1955: BR publishes the Modernization Plan

BR: We hear you’re short on engines. This would be an excellent time to consider switching to diesels. You know you can’t keep holding on to your outdated steam engines forever, right? You keep going on about how this plan calls for scrapping steam engines that are nearly new, but... well, look at your fleet! Half of your locomotives are non-standard, and most of them are over thirty years old!

TFC2: Neat. Anyway, we got one of the GWR 5700-class shunters that they were withdrawing.

1956: TFC1 finally dies. BR hopes that without his influence maybe Charles will finally see reason about this, or at least the board will kick him out. They waste no time on badgering him about taking a diesel.

Then TFC1′s will is released, and it turns out to have put nearly the entire family fortune into a massive trust whose main purpose is to buy and preserve any NWR steam engine that is withdrawn from service if not preserved elsewhere. The Sudrian Rail Museum is formed, and announces the acquisition of its first engines.

BR Management: “Decades of being the most notoriously cheap motherfucker on the entire British railway network and now the old bastard pulls this stunt. Oh, please say this means he’s giving his son an ‘out’ to come to a compromise and have those old engines preserved instead of scrapped, and he’s finally retiring that ancient Seagull.”

SRM: In a grand ceremony, publicly unveils... Coffeepots 2 and 3, which were finally withdrawn after Nationalization at the insistence / begging of BR, and supposedly broken up but turned out to have been in the Hatts’ basement the entire time.

TFC2: Does a speech at the ribboncutting that more or less reveals that no, it’s not a concession, it’s a backup plan if BR tries to go back on the agreement of the NWR’s independence and force modernization on them.

TFC2: “The coffeepots? What? No, my father was telling the truth, the coffeepots have been broken up for years! My daughter was so upset she cried about it for days! You can read about it in the papers. It was a tragic affair, the drummer and guitarist got in a fistfight. Oh, you mean the engines, not the Sudrian rock and roll band The Coffeepots? Well, silly me for making that mistake, I just assumed...”

BR: “You have got to be fucking kidding me.”

1957: After much “Please, just try one, you’ll see how much better they are, we swear!” TFC2 finally goes “Okay, fine, we need more engines, we’ll trial one of your shunters.

A month later... “Anyway, we kicked him out because he was an idiot and also because he kept starting drama in the yard. Anyway, we still have a motive power shortage but we hear you’re withdrawing a bunch of steam engines...”

1959: Charles Topham Hatt, trying to suppress laughter over the phone: “Well you see, it’s the funniest thing. They both lost their numbers and say they’ve forgotten them, and we just can’t tell them apart! I don’t know what to tell you. Yes, we’ll send the extra engine back as soon as we find out which one it is...”

Later: “Well, we thought we had it figured out by painting numbers on their tenders but there seems to have been some sort of mixup with which tender went to which engine.”

BR, knowing exactly what this fucker is doing: “Whatever. We had trouble telling them apart too. Fuck it, you can choose which one you want to keep. Yes, fine, you can have a trial period to decide...”

Later: Charles, having successfully wasted enough time to raise enough money to buy a second engine albeit only very cheaply. “You know, traffic’s been heavier than expected, and we’ve had a lot of snow this season so ploughing’s been a lot of work too. The twins have both been excellent and I’d never dream of depriving you of both of them, so I supposed I would have to look elsewhere for another engine. But earlier today, I heard from a reliable source that you were planning on scrapping the one I sent back?”

Scottish Region manager, eyeing bottle of whiskey in office: “Yes... we were going to scrap both of them if you hadn’t begged for another one. We’re getting rid of our steam engines, Sir Tophham, that’s what every other region is doing.”

Charles, practically giddy: “So, you’re saying you don’t need the other one?”

SR Manager, deciding it is not worth his time to deal with this level of petty bullshit over two fifty-year-old steam engines: “You know what, fuck it. Keep both of them for all I care. Just pay scrap prices and promise not to call me again for at least five years.”

1963: BR: “Here’s our new plan for closing down excess branch lines. I know we can’t force you, Charles, but you really should consider our recommendations -”

Charles: “Neat. Anyway, we’re opening a new branch line to Arlesburgh to support the new harbour...”

1965: “So, we heard that old seagull threw a side rod and isn’t in running condition. You’ve been happy with the diesel you have on that branchline, I think it’s time to consider that this is a very old engine...”

Charles: “Yes, I know. Edward’s parts are badly worn, and I have only myself to blame for continuing to run him in that condition until there was an accident. This decision has been long overdue, but...”

BR: “Oh thank fucking god, finally.”

Charles: “I feel confident in leaving BoCo in charge of the Brendam branch line until Edward’s overhaul and rebuild at our works in Crovan’s Gate is complete.”

1967: Charles: “So, you know how you told us you were absolutely not sending us another steam engine, and that I should stop rejecting half the diesels I agreed to trial over attitude problems?”

BR: “Yes, yes we have. We last told you this a week ago.”

Charles: “Well, it’s the funniest thing, Douglas happened across this tank engine in Barrow...”

BR, who already has scrapyards dragging their feet on breaking up old steam engines and having rail enthusiasts buying them out of the scrapyards, and knowing that the NWR keeps. Fucking. Doing this: “Fine. Keep it. We don’t fucking care anymore. We don’t care that this engine is technically stolen, we won’t ask questions about how many of your employees or ours were complicit in this, all raising a fuss will accomplish is subjecting everyone to you for months and we know damn well that you’ll just buy him out of the scrapyard anyway. Take him for fifty pence. We are done with your shit.”

1972: Some guy at BR: “Sir, regarding the withdrawal of the Hymek diesels, I’ve been going over our records and it looks like the North Western Region has one.”

That Guy’s Boss: “Don’t you dare. Don’t you dare even think of bringing that top-hat-wearing son of a bitch down on my head! Don’t say anything to him.”

Like, the NWR was supposedly nationalized, and yet by the end of Modernization it ended up with more steam engines than it started with.

Difficulty With His Own

A thing I really enjoy in The Railway Series is that Sir Topham Hatt actually really gets a kick outta train bullshit. You know, when a train thinks they're gettin' one over on him or otherwise does something he doesn't expect.

The thing of it is, though, he can't let his engines know he finds their antics amusing because he doesn't want to encourage that behavior. So he ends up struggling to keep a straight face and having to hide that he's fuckin' guffawin' at the shit his engines are up to instead.

"Duck called me a 'galloping sausage'," spluttered Gordon.

"...'rusty red scrap-iron'," hissed James.

"...I'm 'old square wheels'," fumed Henry.

"Well Duck?"

Duck considered. "I only wish Sir," he said gravely, "that I'd thought of those names myself. If the dome fits..."

"Ha! Ahem!" The Fat Controller coughed.

He can't be seen to actually be laughing at this because it would hurt all the other guys' delicate train feefees and it would be taken as his siding with Duck. Which, even if he doesn't believe Duck did this, he has to at least consider the possibility that he did. And if it comes out that Duck did call them those names and Hatt laughed at them, they'd probably never get over it and it would undermine his authority for the next hundred years. But at this point in time, you would never expect Duck to drop a clapback like that. It's both surprising for its content and how out of character it is. When someone who's not typically known to be funny gets off a good one, the hilarity is multiplied, isn't it?

Then you got a pair of chucklefucks like Donald and Douglas.

"I hear you've lost your numbers," he said. "How did that happen?"

"They maun hae slyly slippit aff Sirr. Ye ken hoo it is." The engines spoke in chorus.

"I know. Accidentally on purpose."

The twins looked pained. "Sirr! Ye wadnae be thinkin' we lost them on purrpose?"

"I'm not so sure," said The Fat Controller. "Now then, which of you is 57646?"

"That, Sirr, is juist what we cannae mind."

The Fat Controller looked at their solemn faces. He turned away. He seemed to have difficulty with his own.

Sir Topham like "These goddamn trains think they're so fuckin' clever." And he loves it! He's into it! But, again, caint let them know that or this place'll be Chucklefuck Junction. And too, funny as this is, he's also now got bookkeepping, inventory, and possibly legal problems to contend with and that's no fun.

Remember when Douglas thought he was gonna get yelled at, so the twins swapped tenders so Hatt would think he was Donald and instead have to "find" him first?

He turned to the passengers. "Here, Gentlemen, are the facts. No. 10 has been shunting in the Yard. Your coach disappeared. We investigate. No. 10 - er - disappears too. You can draw your conclusions. Please accept my apologies. The matter will be investigated

The Fat Controller watched them till they climbed the station ramp. His shoulders twitched; he wiped his eyes. Douglas wondered if he was crying. He was not.

He swung round suddenly. "Douglas," he rapped, "why are you masquerading with Donald's tender?"

See, Hatt's probably really impressed by this one. This is a trick that none of his other engines have the circumstances, let alone the presence of mind, to attempt. It's incredibly clever for engines! And Hatt has to admit, it's his own damn fault they're pullin' this shit on him. He didn't think they were capable of this level of chicanery.

Luckily, he probably also finds it somewhat charming. "The Deputation" puts him in a position of not really being able to send one of them home either way since it comes out that it's essentially a death sentence. To send one home after being made aware of that would erode morale in the yard. It's why Hatt discourages "interference" even though he's probably actually glad he's been informed. But he was probably already considering keeping them both anyway because these guys are winning him over with their train bullshit.

I think my favorite example of train bullshit, though, is this.

Gordon and Thomas saw him coming, and both began to speak.

"Please, Sir -"

"One at a time," smiled The Fat Controller. "Yes Gordon?"

"May thomas have his Branch Line again?"

"Hm," said The Fat Controller, "well Thomas?"

"Please, Sir, can Gordon pull coaches now?"

The Fat Controller pondered.

You know what's he's ponderin' about? The time his own children - and probably his grandchildren too - also pulled this trick. The ol' "maybe if we advocate for each other instead of ourselves, he'll be so moved by our selflessness that he couldn't possibly stay mad." Little kid shit. And his giant fkn engines have come up with this plan too. Amazing.

Hm, indeed.

But. There is such a thing as Hatt Bullshit too. Doesn't happen that often but when it does...

Duck broke the awkward silence. "Beg pardon, Sir, but we do need another engine."

"I agree, Duck. That is why I am giving 7101 another chance." Their faces showed such dismay that The Fat Controller had difficulty with his own!

"Sir," ventured Gordon at last. "We had hoped for a real engine."

"They," said The Fat Controller gravely, "are rare, and unless one escapes, there's little hope..."

Just fuckin' with these guys, because he can! It's perhaps a little mean to fuck with them in regards to this particular topic since the circumstances are so dire but you know what? Everything's gonna work out fine, everyone's gonna be happy when he drops the other shoe. It's not often he gets the chance to pull a joke on these guys without it undermining his authority or hurting morale or showing favoritism or or or. Might as well take it!

[ceitripegprim]

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[hazel-of-sodor]

A Life Well Lived

A Life Well Lived

Ch.2 Living

Other Stories

Other Chapters

The Elsbridge Cafe had been excellent as always. Jane had been concerned they would arrive during the lunchtime rush, but once Thomas had been uncoupled from the tram in the Wellsworth Yard, they had made good time. Thomas had quickly proven why his express service from Tidmouth was known to locals as the Ffarquhar Flash. He had even overtaken James's local commuter, much to the red engine's ire.  

Derek had deeply enjoyed himself, as Controller it had been rare that he had been able to sit down and have a meal with his crews. Eating a meal with his wife and Thomas's crew had been a treat. Robert and Jonathan had been with the railway as long as Thomas had been, so they were old friends. The tank engine himself had been delighted with the warm bread roll the Derek had snuck out for him, quickly sharing it with Annie and Clarabel.

"You're spoiling him," Jane had dryly observed.

"That," Derek said with a smirk, "is Charle's problem now."

-------

Leaving Elsbridge, they had made good time up towards Ffarquhar, before stopping seemingly in the middle of nowhere. Jonathon had hopped down, and flipped a switch that was almost invisible in the undergrowth along the line. Thomas pulled forward onto old tracks hidden by weeds and Jonathon set the points back before climbing back aboard.

Thomas rolled carefully along old abandoned metals, the foliage around them almost brushing the windows of the coaches. He moved slowly but confidently through the woods.

Eventually they reached a clearing and Thomas rolled to a stop. Robert opened the door and Derek slowly climbed out. They were at an abandoned mine, old rails  lburrowed through the grass, forgotten machinery lay rusting under the afternoon sun, and before them an old engine shed lay closed.

Derek walked carefully up alongside Thomas, whose gaze was locked on the doors to the shed. Behind him he heard Jane follow.

"I'm sorry." Thomas said suddenly.

"Whatever for?" Derek asked in confusion.

Thomas refused to meet his eyes, "I wanted to tell you...but I couldn't risk them."

Derek glanced at the shed, then back at the number one. He still wouldn't meet his eyes.

 Derek slowly walked forward and pulled the doors. Despite their age, they opened easily, if creakily. It took a second for his eyes to adjust then...

"Derek!" Jane cried as his knees gave out from under him. She reached for him, but he was already scrambling up and into the shed.

 His hand met a face, and large eyes blinked slowly open. The small engine blinked owlishly, "Tad? What are you doing here?"

"Elsbridge." He cried with relief, tears running down his face. "I thought you'd been scrapped."

Jane stepped forward, a hand over her mouth and tears brimming at the sight of the coffee pot.

Elsbridge blinked, clearly not fully awake yet. "No. Tom saved us."

"Us? But..." Derek trailed off as he noticed she wasn't alone in the shed. Three other small engines were parked behind her. A tender engine sat beside them, but his eyes were only for the waking coffee pots.

"Tad? Mam?" Toryreck asked sleepily.

In the back Callan and Glynn struggled awake.

"You're here." Derek breathed, "you're all here!" He lunged forward, hugging Elsbridge tightly.

Large hot tears splashed onto his suit, but he ignored them in favor of the feeling of his oldest against his chest, alive.

"I'm glad to see you too, Tad."

 Jane was in a similar position with Tory, happily ignoring the tears falling into her hair.

Derek finally pulled back, but kept his hand on her cheek. "I'm so so sorry. I..."

"It's okay." Elsbridge interrupted, "We know.  We never thought you would order us scrapped. Tom told us what actually happened as soon as he knew."

"I should have known better than to leave you without protection."

Torywreck shook their head. "You had no idea they'd go behind your back like that." They smiled, "We never blamed you Tad. They grabbed us from our shed in the middle of the night and took us to the yard in Barrow. When we arrived, Tom was already waiting. The engine sent to get us had managed to warn him that morning. We were swapped out for trucks of parts from the works so the scrapyard would assume we had been taken apart at the works. We were in this shed by morning, and have been here ever since." 

To Derek's confusion, Jane looked angry rather than relieved at this explanation. She turned to face Thomas.

"You've let us think they were scrapped this whole time, knowing they were alive?" She asked, her voice shaking with anger.

"Yes," Thomas confirmed firmly but solemnly.

[hazel-of-sodor]

Entering service in 1885, No.3 Elsbridge was purpose built for passenger service on the Tidmouth Knapford & Elsbridge Tramway. A enclosed version of already proven design of No.2, No.3's would pull the inaugral passenger train. Much like No.2, No.3 would see a long service life with the TK&ET and later the NWT. 1915 would see No.3 transferred from Passenger service to Goods work in favor of the newly purchased No.5, where it would remain until 1951. No.3 would tranferred to pure maintence of way work until 1956 when it was sold to FQC, joining No.2. It was retired by the quarry in 1969 in favor of a new diesel shunter. The TK&ER Perservation Society purchased No.3 upon its retirement, and it joined the original No.1 and No.2 in the Tidmouth Rail Museum.

[hazel-of-sodor]

By late 1950 the Ffarquhar branch was straining under its work load, as the population of its cities had grown, the mines were prdoucing more than ever, and new industries were being built. Although new engines had been bought for the branchline, the workload was still overwhelming them. To make matters worse, the four coffeepot locomotives were on their last legs, and British Rails had denied permission to overhaul them. STH approached BR for a suitable engine to assist the Ffarquhar, but they responded that they'd already gave the NWR as many engines as they could spare, but gave Crovan's Gate permission to build an engine for the work. 

Finished in 1951, Eric was an impressive sight, if Thomas was the branches premier passenger engine, this would be the equivalent freight locomotive. Based on Thomas (a modified J72), Eric was an 0-6-2 tank engine. His longer frame and traileing bogey allowed for a larger boiler and firebox, great coal and water storage, and a far greater tractive effort. His tests were successful, and was officially designated BR number 69029. However, mere days after he was steamed, Thomas got into trouble with a police man for not having side plates and a steam tram named Toby was purchased, taking Erics intended role.

Instead, he was sent to the Arlesburgh branchline. The line ran up the west coast of Sodor from Tidmouth to Arlesburgh . With the Arlesdale mines closed, the line only had light fish trains and passanger service at the time, so Eric was the only engine required. He was often sent to help the Ffarquhar during its peak season, with the mainline engines covering his absence, but the long momths of isolation left his lonely. 

In 1964 the line was revitalized with the rebuilding of West Arlesburgh Harbor, with more work and more engines to arrive, but Eric had been alone on the line for too long to be excited at the prospect, and asked (BEGGED) to be posted anywhere else. A few days later Duck arrived after hearing of the Arlesdale railway, and fell in love with the branch. STH agreed to the switch and, after a week of training Duck on the Branch, Eric took over as Pilot at Knapford.

Used to the weeks of solitude on the Arlesburgh, Eric is a quite but friendly engine.  Many engines and trucks have mistaken this quietness as meekness, but quickly found a a spine of steel lay underneath. Any engine capable of running a branch by themselves for over a decade with no accidents is no pushover. He considers Thomas sibling, and the two often argue whisch is the big brother. 

“Im older than you!” 

“But Im still the bigger engine.”

He was orginally painted in BR lined black, but after working with Duck in 64, he asked if he could be painted the same green, but with NWR Lining. He kept his BR number after the NWR left British Rails, but the BRITISH RAILWAYS on his tanks was replaced with NORTH WESTERN RAILWAY.

4 notes