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reidmania · 4 months ago

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love you like a sailor | spencer reid

summary ; situationship’s, friends with benefits, and no commitment arrangements are great until lines began to blur and feelings become too real. Especially with Spencer.

warnings ; MDNI, mentioning of sex and fingering even tho theres no actual smut. situationship, messy feelings, friends w benefits, reader is avoidant of her feelings, spencer is in love, reader is in denial, mentions of alcoholism but more in a joking way, commitment issues, insecure reader, anxiety, overthinking, talks about relationships ending, talks about death for like a second fem reader. This is ridiculously wrong and i honestly had a horrid headache while writing it so it’s probably crap… angst, fluff, hurt, comfort, this is the whole shabang.

an ; WONT YOU KISSS ME ONNN THE MOUTHH AND LOVEEE ME LIKE A SAILOR. i wanted to write this so bad i couldn’t wait. this is for my avoidant attachment girlies, this is definitely a bit out of character spencer, very self indulgent.. Look at that list of warnings my gosh. this is stupidly wrong and probably not great. BUT ENJOY POOKIES. bc u so kindly encouraged this @parfaitblogs 🎀🎀🎀

"Get some rest." Hotch mutters out as he walks past, your gaze follows him from where you had been sitting cross legged on your desk chair. You and the team had gotten back from a case only a couple of hours ago -- to say it had taken a lot out of you was an understatement.

You were tired but the response left your lips almost instantly as you tilted your head. "Why would I do that when sleep deprivation works so well for me" You hummed out with a soft smile on your face, his head shook as he rolled his eyes. He didn't bother pushing your argument as he made his way towards the elevotor.

It was inching later into the night, a lot of the team had already left to return home to their families, or partners, or even to outings with their friends. You stayed in place at your desk, ignoring the way the arm of the desk chair digged uncomfortably into your knee as your legs remained crossed.

"Sleep deprivation does not work well for you." You jumped slightly as your head tilted up at the voice and feeling of hands on your shoulders, a smile warmed your cheeks. The papers on your desk long forgottened as Spencer's hands brushed gently over your shoulders, down your arms. He had his bag slung over his shoulder, hair out of place from the amount of times he had dragged his hand through it, from you running your fingers through it while he slept on your shoulder on the jet.

"You get grouchy all day, drink an unhealthy amount of cofee until you end up falling asleep on your desk, or on Gacia's beanbag in her layor." He reminded, he bent down to press his lips gently against the top of your head.

Your chest tightened, a playful roll of your eyes and a smile later your pushing the chair away from the desk to twirl it to look at the man standing over you. You could see the tiredness behind his eyes and it made your heart sore in a way that left your stomach uneasy.

Your gaze holds his, "You just catch me at a bad time" You resorted.

He snorted, letting out a soft, 'mhm' along with unconvinced nodding, as his hand reached out for yours. You took it wordlessly, uncrossing your legs as you stood. You didn't need to ask to know what he wanted, he was inviting you home with him.

Your free hand worked to grab your bag off the ground. You eased into the feeling of his hand tighting its hold on yours. His fingers worked to move between yours, interlacing them as the two of you walked in sync to the elevator.

"Take out and doctor who?" He asked, looking at you as he pressed the button for the elevator. You turned your head to look at him cheeks heating more than you wanted to admit when you noticed the gleam in his eye.

This thing. Whatever it was between you and Spencer was overwhelming in the way it had you feeling too much and not enough at the same time. It was a constant game of give and take, push and shove, one step forward and three steps back, it all remained unspoken between the two of you.

"Only if we can get thai from that good place on forth." You revert back to the conversation as your eyes maintain on his. His hand squeezes your gently as the two of you walk into the elevator when the doors opened. His body turned to face yours and you had a familiar feeling building in your stomach.

The feeling you dreaded more and more everytime.

His free hand rose to your face to push away stray hairs from your face. His head leant towards your, foreheads placed against one another and his hand fell from your face to your hip. “We can do whatever you want, angel” He muttered out.

The words made your stomach turn. You couldn’t tell if the feeling was good or bad. You didn’t know how you were supposed to feel when he called you that, it wasn’t the first time either.

They slipped off his tongue as if they belonged there. Easily and simply. Everything was so easy and simple for him, you were almost jealous of it.

The elevator dinged. Moments later you were in his car, his phone in your hand, connect to the aux of his car. You fingers scrolled through the playlist he had made specifically for car rides — or any times he was with you.

It was filled of your favourite songs, songs that reminded him of you, songs that you had sent him saying he should listen to it. It was your playlist.

You settled on a song before closing his phone placing it in the centre console. You placed your hand onto his that rested on your thigh, your thumb, feather touched, running over the prominent veins that cascaded their way down his hand.

His eyes stayed switching between the road and you as you mumbled out lyrics to the song playing through the radio. His eyes danced over the features on your face momentarily, his teeth sunk into his bottom lip when you met his eyes. He offered you a soft smile before returning his focus on the road.

There was a feeling that consumed your entire being. You pushed it down and ignored it to instead enjoy the moment with Spencer. Whatever that meant.

By the time you had gotten food, got to his, and finished eating, it was nearing midnight. The feeling of tire you had only an hour or so ago had subsided completely as watching doctor who ended up with you curled in his lap, head hidden between his neck and shoulder as his hands smoothed the back of your shirt.

You waited for the movement of encouragement, you waited for the hinting signal that he wanted more right now. You were waiting for his lips to trail down your neck or for his hands too low on your back, or too high on your thigh for his touch to remain innocent.

It never came.

His hands stayed soft and sweet in their movements. You pulled away from his neck, eyebrows pushed together in itching confusion. He met your eyes, eyebrow raised, puzzled at your expression. His hands paused on your back, waiting for you to elaborate on whatever it was that was bothering you.

You didn’t know what to say. You didn’t know if you wanted to bring up the unspoken silent agreement between you two. You couldn’t even explain what the agreement was if someone asked, you would be loss for words. It was just something you and Spencer both knew and never talked about.

That this wasn’t going to happen.

You and him.

The two of you would continue passing comments and compliments in private at work, being each others safe space after a particularly hard case, you would continue coming to his house to watch doctor who, and eating way too much take out.

You would continue fucking in the bathroom of whatever bar the team decided to go to, where spencer would ramble about how unsanitary it was to be doing so while curling his fingers inside you. You would continue kissing in elevators and in the passenger seat of his car when no one else was around.

You would continue falling asleep at his house, in his bed, in his clothes, leaving way too early in the morning leaving a note.

It could never be more than that.

You and Spencer weren’t supposed to be more than that. You had that decided in your head the first time he kissed you in your hotel room on a case months ago. It was a simple innocent conversation and then he kissed, and you kissed him back.

Now the lines around your unspoken agreement were fogging. Every time you fell asleep in his arms you could feel the lines being erased more and more until they had been nothing more than a faint outline.

He noticed your lack of words as his hands squeezed your hips softly. He studied your face as his twisted into something you could only describe as conflicted. He opened his mouth to talk but nothing came out.

But the look in his eye told you everything you needed to know, your face fell flat. “Spencer” you spoke warningly but it didn’t matter, the words were being spoken. The question was being asked.

“What are we doing here?”

His words left his lips quiet and meaningful. They held the emotions he tried to ignore for your sake. The words hit you like a ton of bricks, immediately sending your mind into a frenzy.

‘What are we doing here?’

The words replayed in your head as your stomach twisted up in denial. How were you suppose to know anymore than he did?

You deflected, shrugging your shoulders. “Um.. Watching doctor who” You said, eyebrows pinched. You knew exactly what he meant, he knew you did, he knew this game. He had been playing it with you for months.

His hands remained on your side as you reverted from his touch. Shutting down in the way he had seen you do probably a hundred times. You would make yourself small, and avoidant of everything you felt beyond surface level.

He mumbled out your name, in a way that caused your heart strings to tug. His mutter of your name came out like a warning sign, like he knew you knew what he meant.

“Spencer” You muttered back as you moved out of his grasp to shuffle off his lap, instead on your knees on the couch beside him. You were sure your tone showed exactly how disinterested you were in having this conversation.

It would only end one way.

You knew it would have to happen eventually, that there was only so much time the two of you could dance around it, but you wanted to stay in your bubble a little bit longer.

“Please.” He begged.

You weren’t sure what it was he wanted. To have this conversation? a label? To end it? You didn’t know and you weren’t sure you wanted to either. You and him never spoke about your feelings for each other, but it was evident you both had them.

The difference was he indulged in his feelings while you ran away from them.

It didn’t help when he was looking at you with the softest pleading eyes, his hands reaching out for you. It made you almost forget every ounce of common sense.

Almost

“I think I should go” You breathed out as your head turned away from his. You saw his face fall in your peripheral vision, making your heart feel as if it was ready to shatter into a million different pieces, each one covered in his name.

His hand tucked under your chin turning your head to face his. His eyes locked on yours and you swore every ounce of your self control was tested in the way his eyebrows furrowed sadly and his eyes pleaded with you.

“You don’t have to go.. Just talk to me..” He muttered out your name, thumb rubbing over your chin, before slowly it trailed down your bottom lip to pull it out from its place under your teeth. “I need to know, sweet girl.” He said gently as his thumb returned to its place on your chin.

“We wouldn’t work.” Your hand wrapped around his wrist that held his hand to your chin. You tried to keep your voice strong but it betrayed you as it came out quieter than you wanted. Your eyes stayed locked on his, the tension between the two of you suffocating.

His eyebrows deepened, “Why not? We worked before, we work now.” He spoke, his eyes holding every emotion you refused to let yourself feel. It was almost infuriating.

Your head shook in his hold. His words were touching parts of your mind that you avoided even attempting to approach. His eyes remained pleading at you.

“It’s different. You know it is. Relationships are different. It gets messy. We don’t need messy- We’ve had enough messy for a lifetime.. or three” You try to joke to deflect to bring the conversation back above the surface level, it didn’t work as you saw his eyes flash with something.

“This already is messy.” He said, his teeth gnawed at the gums of his cheeks, as he stared at you. He was right, you knew he was right.

“We are messy. this, us, whatever this is, its messy. Whatever feelings you are so scared of confronting are messy. That doesn’t go away just because you refuse to acknowledge it” His words were gentle yet spoke like one of his scientific rambles. He spoke every word like the was evidence to back it up.

It made the words fall flat against your tongue as your head dipped down into his hand. He didn’t make an attempt to push you to look at him, instead his hand moved gently to cup the back of your head, encouraging it towards his chest.

You gave in to his touch with ease, like muscle memory. Your arms wrapped under his arms as his hand stayed in place cupping the back of your head as his fingers ran over your scalp hidden by hair, his other resting around your waist.

“You know sailors right?” He muttered out, voice almost a whisper as his fingers curled softly in your hair, fingernails scratching your scalp soothingly. You nodded into his chest despite the confusion of how that had anything to do with what you guys were talking about.

He hummed at your nod, “They spend their entire lives at sea, everyday, every night. They dedicate their entire lives to the sea because they love it. They love it regardless of the storms, or the dangerous currents.” His other hand trailed over your back, under your shirt his warm hand against your soft skin.

You didn’t say anything, you didn’t know what he was trying to say.

“At least 2,000 sailors die and sea each year, but they die happy because they died doing what they love. They died in the one place they dedicated their entire lives to, despite the storms or the dangerous currents. They don’t let the chance of a tsunami stop them from perusing what they love”

Your head pulled from the fabric of his shirt, furrowing your eyebrows slightly. You didn’t want to admit the fact that even though you were confused, him talking relaxed your muscles and the intensity of the emotions coursing through your body.

“So what?” You huff, eyes squinted as you look up at him.

His lip quipped slightly, “So, no matter how much you don’t want to hear it. I love you.” He said, his words came out sure and honest. The intensity in his tone so pure and careful.

You didn’t say anything as his words sent shockwaves through your body. You didn’t know what to say. It was easier to ignore his obvious feelings for you when he wasn’t saying them looking into your eyes like that.

“Like a sailor. I love you like a sailor” He huffed, finishing his point.

Your eyes twitched downwards, “You know most sailors are alcoholics so their judgements isn’t really something to go off” You mutter out, “They don’t care about the dangers and risk because they are stupid and drunk half the time to deal with the loneliness”

He snorted, he couldn’t help it. “Yeah well, Im not an alcoholic. Stupid maybe, but not an alcoholic” He said. Your head lifted to meet his eyes as a scoff left your lips.

“You aren’t stupid, you know you aren’t stupid.” You muttered. He smiled, his hand on your back encouraging you closer towards him.

“Then trust me.” He spoke.

Your eyebrow raised. He didn’t stop there. “Trust me. I won’t hurt you, god id rather lose my entire IQ and everything else than ever hurt you — Yes there will be hard times, of course there will, but we work through it. There is no reason why we couldn’t make us work. I love you. You know I do.” He pushed.

You paused for a moment, “Spencer” It was warning.

“You love me too. No matter how much you try not to or deny it. You love me” He just kept pushing and his words stuck something, causing your ribcage to ache as your heart thumped against it.

“Its not that simple-“ He didn’t wait to hear your argument as his hands cupped your face. “I love you, do you understand that? I love you. You love me. I love you, how many times do I have to say it before you believe it? What will it take for you to let me love you?”

Your lips pursed, “Stop talking”

But he didn’t.

“You love me, just admit it” He pleaded as his hands cupped your jaw. It made it clench in his grasp.

Of course you loved him, that didn’t make it easier to let him in, it didn’t stop your mind coursing with every single way that this could ruin everything between the two of you. The years of friendship, the dynamic, everything could fall apart.

He sighed when you didn’t answer him. His hands fell from your face and you instantly felt the burn from the cold air around you that replaced them.

“We have a 50/50 chance.” He breathed out as he leant back from you. His hands stayed reaching out for your own. The screaming in your mind telling you to run and leave now was ignored when you fingers intwined with him.

He made so easy to stay.

He watched you open your mouth to argue, but he cut you off. “Yes, there is the chance that we wont work out, not that i see it but realistically there is that chance. However there is an 100% chance that we can work through whatever issues arise. There is no question about whether I love you enough to stay through hard times. All you have to do is trust me. Take the chance and trust me.” He spoke clearly. His eyes glazed over with emotions he tried to downplay.

“There is nothing that I don’t want to know about you, there is nothing about you I wouldn’t fall completely in love with” He said quieter this time.

You breath caught in your throat. Your mind racing with contradicting feelings. Nothing you were capable of putting into words as everything you tried to keep buried inside you rose to the surface before you could stop it. The look on his face told you enough to know he wasn’t going to drop this, there was nothing you could do to push him far enough away for him to stop wanting you all the same.

That was terrifying, it was confronting and overwhelming. It was too much.

Your body was quick to move towards him. You didn’t want to say you threw yourself at him, but you basically did. Your lips were on his and your hands were tangled in his hair. Every emotion and feeling you couldn’t admit out was made all too clear in the way your lips pressed against his.

He kissed you back with the same intensity. His hands pulling you closer as his other cupped your jaw, fingertips curling into your hair. Every unspoken word. Everything you tried to deny made clear in your lips against his.

“I love you” You said, chest heaving when you pulled away from his lips, your forehead falling against his as heavy breaths left your mouth. His hand stayed on your jaw and you leant into the touch. “Im sorry— I love you, you know I do. I know I do — I- You are so- I love you” It comes out as a ramble

“You idiot.” He muttered, shaking his head. A wide smile deeming place on his face. His hand dragging you towards his lips once more.

“I love you like a sailor, even though that analogy is cringey, and sickeningly sweet. I love you” You breathed out once his lips pulled away from yours.

He only grinned wider. “What happened to them being stupid drunks?” He teased, mocking your earlier words as his hand came to push a strand of hair out of your face.

You shrugged, “Im okay with being like a stupid drunk when it comes to you.”

#criminal minds #criminal minds show #criminalmindsfans #criminal minds x reader #spencer criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid x oc #spencer reid x reader #wattpad #criminal minds one shot #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid angst #spencer reid smut #spencer reid criminal minds #doctor spencer reid #dr spencer reid #spencer reid hurt/comfort

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sparklingblu · 2 months ago

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Pulse

Sohyun X Xinyu

P.S: I'm trying a new style of writing here.

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There's something calm and comforting about the crowded coffeeshop. The hissing of the espresso machine, the bustle of human conversation, the clinking of ceramic cups - they all seem to blend together to create a new yet totally familiar world. That's the reason I've come here. To be swallowed by this background noise and extract myself from reality if just for a moment.

I sit in my usual corner, my elbow against a cup of cappucino which has long since gone cold and a textbook opened but largely ignored. I have read the same line for the last thirty minutes but none of it seems to stick. I'm too distracted by the noise and my own thoughts, adrift in this place.

University is supposed to be a place where you "find yourself" but I seem to have lost my sense of direction as soon as I step my foot here. Everyone around me seems so sure of what they are doing, raised chests and energetic steps. Meanwhile, I'm just trying to keep my head down, pretending like I belong while I don't even know who I am yet.

Outside, the leaves are just starting to turn yellow - the afternoon light casting a lazy red glow on them. It's the start of a new season though I barely feel like anything have changed in this new life I'm settling into. It's just a struggle to fit in from day to day.

I bring my lips to the rim of my cofee cup, grmiacing as the bitter taste washes over me. It doesn't come as a surprise. The only reason people come here is for the atmosphere - to mingle and jingle . The cofee is just a necessity to stay.

I glance at the moving world from my seat near the window. A steady flow of students rush past the platfrom on the otherside, their laughter echoing through the glass. It's as if they know a secret I have yet to understand.

I pull the sleeve of my sweater over my knuckles, retreating into the soft fabric. Nearby, my phone buzzes with a notification from a group chat that I never have been a part of. I don't bother to check and it becomes one of the many sounds that fills the place.

I used to think university would be different - a total contrast to my mundane high school life. That I'd step into the place and everything will click into place. Like the rest of my life have been a prelude to this. But here I am. Already chickening out in the first week.

I chug down the remainder of my cold coffee, shove my books into the bag and was about to leave when a burst of cool air sweeps through the place, followed by the jingle of the bell above the door. And I happen to be one of those people who instictively gawk at the newcomer.

There she is, waltzing into the room like she owns it. The energy of the outside world seems to radiate from her body. There's nothing loud or brash about her but she draws attention anyway - an easy confidence that ripples through the place. She brushes a stray strand of hair our of her face, her eyes crinkling with amusement.

She stands out naturally,moving as if she's utterly home in her skin, in this place. It's the kind of self-insurance that seems totally foregin to me. I can't even imagine what it's like to be in her shoes. Not like I will have a chance. She's everything I'm not.

Her hair is slightly tousel, falling in loose waves that looks almost intentional. She's wearing a plain white shirt, its crispiness a total contrast to her slouch jeans.

She orders a cofee - espresso, no sugar- and while she waits, she cracks a joke at the waiteress, painting her cheeks red. All this time, my eyes linger on her with a strange sort of fascination, watching like she's the only form of enteratinment I have had in a long time. And it's true in a way.

She takes the plastic cup and the change from the waiteress with a smile. She turns and that's when the trouble starts. I have expected her to leave as swiftly as she has come. Someone like her probably have more important businesses than slothing around.

Her eyes dart around the café and it takes me a moment to realize she's looking for a seat. So she's staying. But luck doesn't seem to be on her side today beacaue every single seat has been occupied. Well, except..

"Hey" she says, and it's casual, like we have been friends forever. "Mind if I sit there?"

She's gesturing at the seat across from mine, which I have strategically left empty to create a distance between me and everything else. I hesistate a tad bit too long before I response.

"Sure" I mumble, nodding towards the chair.

She sits, sliding the cup of coffee on the table with a soft thud. I have expected her to pull out a phone or do anything a stranger sharing a table with another stranger would do. But instead, she leans back and scans the room before her eyes come to rest on me.

"I have seen you before" she speaks, offering a slight smile as if she can read my thoughts.

I blink, caught off-guard. No 'hello' s. No 'hi' s. Straight to the point.

"Have you?" I say, sounding awfully stiff.

"Yeah. You have been in the same corner for the last week. You come here a lot?" She sips her coffee, eyes still on me.

I shrug. "Not always. But yeah. It's quiet"

She raised an eyebrow, glancing around the packed café. "Quiet?" she repeats, half laughing. "Compared to the dining hall, perhaps"

Just then, I realize how rudiculous I must sound. "Well, not today" I admit, lowering my gaze back to the books. "But usually"

She laughs again, but not mockingly so. "I get where you are coming from. Sometimes, it's good to be alone even though you are not truly alone" She couldn't have worded it better.

"Exactly" I say, nodding slowly.

A brief silent passes between us. She sips from her cup again. If the cappucino here is strong, I can't imagine what espresso would taste like. But she shows no sign of distaste.

"So, what do you study?" she asks, her fingers tracing the rim of her cup.

"Literature" I answer, shifting in my seat. For some reason, talking about my major always make me feel like I'm giving something away. Like I'm exposing myself.

"Ahhh Literature" She repeats the word, as if she's trying to decipher its meaning. "That must be....intense. Lots of complicated story about lots of different stuffs"

I nod, still unsure where she's headed. "I guess so. It's more about trying to understand them through their words. Deep fry your brain sometimes"

She huffs. "I can imagine. That's why I try to understand them through their heads, it's less exhausting that way. I'm in psych"

That makes sense. She has this way of speaking, as if she knows what the other party will say before they even open their mouths. But at the same time, respecting their boundaries.

I'm still trying to think of a valid response when she lifts her cup and stare at the remaining coffee like she's studying it. Then her gaze lifts back to me, eyes bright.

"You know, espresso reminds me of people"

I blink, surprised at the strange comparison. "Espresso? Why?"

She beams, leaning in. "Espresso's small right? Concentrated. If you take a sip, there's this rush - sharp and intense. It hits you so intensely that if you are not prepared, it can be overwhelming"

She takes a sip, as if giving me time to register her words. "But if you take it in bit by bit, the taste changes. The bitterness mellows out and you can feel each layer of richness underneath"

I stare at her, my tired brain struggling to understand what she's implying. Why espresso, out of all things?

She leans back and continues. "People are like that. Emotions, life, they come at you in the most unexpected times - swift, chaotic. Sometimes it can be too much to handle. But if you give it some times, let it breathe, you start to see the little parts that makes it up. That's when you start to discover yourself"

I can't help but smile. "You have thought a lot about this, haven't you?"

She shrugs. "Maybe. Or maybe I'm just obsessed with espresso"

"Not the one here, I hope"

She smiles, instantly getting what I'm implying. It seems she's a regular customer too. "You gotta work with what you have. But you get the point"

"So....people are like espresso? Is that why you study them?" I question as she finishes up the last few drops of her coffee. This girl really likes espresso.

"Exactly" she snaps. I'm not sure if she's joking here. "It has always been my dream to do a thesis on espresso and emotions"

"Are you....?" I drift off and she bursts into laughter.

I feel the slightest hint of joy, like by asking that stupid question, I have contributed to her amusement in some way.

"Serious? No way. I'm not risking my degree for my unhealthy addiction. The last person I explained this to leave the table as soon as I'm done"

"Well, I'm still here"

Does it sound too cheesy?

"I can see that" She glances at the clock on the wall, frowning slightly. "I should get going. I have a class to prepared for"

I nod, feeling that familiar twist that comes with endings. "Right. Of course"

She stands, adjusting the bag on her shoulder. "It was nice talking to you" she says, her voice warm. "You can call me Sohyun"

"Xinyu" I reply. It sounds so much easier to say my name now.

"Xinyu" She lets the word roll off her tongue. "I like it"

"Thanks" She's already walking to the door when I response.

With one last glance, she re-enters the reality outside of this comforting bubble. I feel a strange sense of anticipation, like the conversation I just had have dropped some hint to solve this puzzle called life.

Sohyun and Espresso and People.

How peculiar.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

The walk back across the campus was pleasant. The scene that welcomes me when I enter my room is not.

As I enter, I'm greeted by the familiar chaos of Yooyeon's world - clothes draped over the chair, a half eaten bag of snacks spilling out on the desk and music playing softly in the background. The mess have become such an essential part of the space that without it, you doubt you will recognize the room.

Yooyeon looks up from her bed, where she's lounging with her phone. She's dressed causual with a twist as usual - an oversized grey t-shrit with the words "You Shall Not Pass" emblazoned across the front and swetpants of the same color. As soon as she notices me, an infectious grin spreads across her face

"Xinyu! You are back!" She exclaims, eyes bright. "Did you finally make a friend or are you still on a first name basis with the library?"

"Ha ha. Very funny" I retort sarcastically as I shove my bag on the bed. "But yeah. I guess so"

She immediately sits up, her attention solely on me. "Wait, what? For real?"

I can't help but smile at her enthusiasm. That's the thing about Yooyeon. It's like she has her own respirator of dopamine. Always on her feet. Not a hint of worry in those blue eyes.

"Her name's Sohyun. We met at the café" I answer, keeping my tone casual. One wrong octave and Yooyeon would immediately detect it.

"Ooooh, a café conversation, huh? Sounds like the opening to a great novel" She laughs, flopping back down to her bed. "What did you two talk about?"

I shrug, though I have anticipated the question. "Just espresso and....people"

Yooyeon grins even wider. "Don't tell me you spill your heart out. Cuz that would be really really-"

"It's nothing like that" I quickly interrupt. "It was just small talk. She's really easy to talk to"

"Easy is good. You need easy" Yooyeon bounces off her bed and start rummaging through her cupboard box of numerous books and posters. It has been a week and she still hasn't bothered to arrange her stuffs.

Not a moment sooner, she pulls out two bright blue mugs. "We should celebrate your burgeoning social life. I have got hot chocolate mix somewhere"

I roll my eyes. "You are impossible"

"Impossibly fun" Yooyeon winks as she pours the hot chocolate mix into the mugs and adds some hot water, the steam curling up. "You are on your way to becoming a social butterfly. Next thing you know, you will be hosting literary salons"

"Sure. After I finish this semester's readings" I reply lightly though the idea terrifies me.

Yooyeon hands me the steaming mug with a triumphant grin. "Here's to new friends and the magic of coffee! If you ever need a social coach to take you on this emotional espresso journey, I'm always available"

I take the mug from her, the warmth of it seeping into my palms. "No thanks"

"Aww come on. I can be the Ron to your Harry. Or the Peeta to your Katniss. Wait, nevermind. That's not a good idea" Yooyeon says, never failing to showcase her obsession with fiction. If Sohyun wants to do a thesis on espresso, Yooyeon would probably make one on Hunger Games. But her dream is closer to being a reality, given how she's in media studies.

"Isn't that the guy....who got like brainwashed or something?" I try to recall the memoies of the movie from time immemorial.

"Yeah. Poor Peeta..." Yooyeon says with a dreamy tone before she brings the mug to her lips.

"Fuck! It's hot" She yelps, immediately recoiling and almost spilling the hot drink.

"Who? Peeta?" I ask.

"No. The hot chocolate. Wait, no. I mean yes. Peeta, not this god awful drink" Yooyeon says while she furiously fans her mouth.

I can't help the chuckle that escape my lips. "I have always liked that Gale guy better"

Yooyeon's eyesbrow knit at my remark. And I already know a debate is headed my way.

"For starters,..."

And so it begins. I participate anyway although I know Yooyeon would win in the end as she always does. I'm not geeky enough for this.

But it doesn't matter. Because she's the only friend I have for now. Debating on fictional man not to be the odd one out doesn't seem so bad of a trade.

Would Sohyun like Gale better than Peeta?

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

I'm up early the next morning. The kind of early that makes the world feels like it's still deciding whether or not it should go back to sleep. I look at the bedside clock - 5:55 am. Ha. I beat the alarm today.

Soft gray light shines through a hatch between the curtains, the world outside still enshrouded in the morning mist. All is quiet except for the occasional footsteps and soft snores of Yooyeon , whose face is half buried in the pillow. I smile, knowing she won't be up for at least an hour. The girl's have been up all night finishing an assignment.

I shiver slightly as the cool air grazes my skin when I pull the covers off. The mornings are getting colder, the first hints of autumn sneaking in. And it means I will have a harder time exiting the warm embrace of my sheets.

The chill in the air clings to me as I head towards the common bathroom. The hallways are empty at this time of the day. Not much early risers here. This building, Bradford Hall, is one of the older dorms on the campus. The floors creak with each step I take and the white paint on the wall have faded with age. For no reason, the place indulges a sense of legacy in me. Like I'm a part of something greater. Maybe it's the smell of chamomile that always hangs in the air.

The walk to the bathroom doesn't take long since my room's on the first floor. There's no burden of stairways. It takes five minutes tops for me to clean up - brush my teeth, wash my face and a couple arrangement of my messy hair that will stay the same way after. I still don't understand how some people manage to spend hours in the bathroom. Making yourself presentable shouldn't be that hard.

When I come back to the room, Yooyeon has tossed over, almost draping off the bed and murmuring something that sounds like a spell. She might be visiting middle-earth, Hogwarts and god knows where.

I cross over to my side of the room, the territory determined by an imaginary line Yooyeon have drawn on the first day. The room is barely big enough for two twin beds, a couple desks and a shared closet. My space is plain, simple. Almost empty except for the small lamp and the stack of books. It works fine by me.

Yooyeon's, however, is a total contrast. Her walls are covered with posters of whatever fictional book or movie you cam name. Not to mention the figurines that line her desk. "They give me motivation" Yooyeon has said. In my opinion, I wouldn't want an inch tall Darth Vader monitoring me all night. I bet Yooyeon would consider that 'hot' too.

I rummage through my closet without any initial dress code in mind. There isn't a need to worry. People wouldn't be up yet. There's no one to impress. I decide to go simple pulling on a bright blue sweater over my shirt and pulling on a pair of jeans. I slip on my worn-out sneakers, their familiar creaks greeting me. After a glance in the mirror, I decide to let my loose locks fall freely. I grab my bag and leave, careful not to wake Yooyeon, who's on the brink of falling off the bed.

The campus seems almost unrecognizable at this time of the day - the morning light bathing it in a warm glow that makes everything looks like it belongs to a painting. The air is still, undisturbed by the usual hustle of students. I take a deep breath as I make my way down the brick path.

The clues of autumn are scattered here and there - the air crisp and the leaves tinged with green and yellow like they haven't decided their favorite color yet. To my left, the towering main library roses like a cathedral, fog clinging to its ebony walls. The arched windows reflecting the sun rays.

Further down, the old lecture halls rise up on either sides of the path. They look like relics from the ancient past, a time unbeknownst. The ivy covered walls adding into its timelessness.

They weren't joking about this place being 'old'.

Ahead, the dining hall comes into view, no less younger than its confidants. With the dark wood beams and the high ceiling, it looks almost like a castle. The stone steps leading to the entrance are worn smooth by countless steps and the wooden doors, though thoroughly polished, creaks slightly as I push them open.

Inside, the place is most empty, save for a couple students scattered around. The smell of coffee and pastries fill the air, comforting in a way that makes me want to stay for hours. I grab a tray, throws on a couple of sandwiches and a glass of juice. My morning appetite have never been impressive.

I takes my usual place near one of the stained glass windows, spots of light showering on the table. I love this place. It's quiet and peaceful. Maybe except when Yooyeon's accompanying me.

I'm haflway through a cheese sandwich when the door swing opens.

Sohyun.

She walks in with a group of friends, at least five of them, talking and laughing. Their energy seemingly announcing they belong here.

Sohyun's dressed in almost the same way at our first meeting - a loose white shirt and cargos. And she strides across the hall with the same confidence from that day.

I didn't mean to stare but my eyes follow her, weaving through tables with her friends trailed behind. Like maybe our encounter was an interlude to something more.

I know I should go back to my sandwhich but when the soul craves, the body has to suffice. She turns my way just for a split second and without thinking, I give her a small smile. It's nothing special, really - just a 'Hey. I remember you from yesterday' kind of smile.

But Sohyun's eyes sweep over me as if I'm not even there and soon, she's swept up with her friends again, laughing at something they said.

It stings. Though it has no reason to. It's like a tiny blow that leaves you off-balance but not strong enough to knock you off your feet. Before I even realize it, my lips have pursed into a tight line and I'm already staring down at the unfinished plate of sandwiches. Maybe, yesterday was just a fever dream.

I didn't expect much, really. A nod, a wave, a smile - a sign of acknowledgement. Anything. I tell myself not to care. It's rudiculous to yearn for approval from someone you shared a coffee table with. But I can't help the cold weight settling in my chest.

I glance up at her again. She's still at the counter, taking her sweet time choosing her breakfast. The way she holds herself is so natural, like she belongs anywhere she goes. I envy that about her. I have always been needed to prove to earn a place in society while she just waltz through everything without a care.

Why is it bothering me so much?

Maybe I should be grateful for her brief cameo in my life. Or maybe it would have been better if we never met. Then she will just be another student who comes to eat breakfast. Not Sohyun.

But now, it's infecting me.

I take a sip of my orange juice, focusing on the cold liquid that wash down my throat. It's nothing, I tell myself. It's jst a stupid plea for attention. It doesn't matter. I have always been good at finding meanings in small thing but sometimes, small things are just......small. There's no more meaning to them than what they are.

Maybe that's all this is.

I watch her from the corner of my eyes as she settles down at a table with her friends, her laughter ringing out across the hall again. And for a momet, I almost want to laugh. Not because anything is funny but beacause how easily she moves through the world, through life.

And how easily she has forgotten me.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

Over the next week, autumn have crept in like a quiet exhale. The trees have turned amber and yellow, their leaves falling in slow spiral onto tbe brick paths. The air has become sharp enough to sting my skin when I go out. It's the season of change, like people say. But this year, there's something unsettling about the sudden shift. Like I'm not ready for new beginnings.

Most of my time is spent surrounded by books and notes. Despite the constant pressure, it's nice to finally have a rhythm to life again. The rhythm that my fear of rejection have indulged. I have recovered quick and Sohyun has faded into nothing but another human whose life happen to cross ways with mine.

It's nothing to dwell on.

I sit at my desk, my table lamp casting a faint glow on the pages of 'Jane Eyre'. The word file opened on my laptop is still in the same state as it has been in the last hour - celan and empty. The syllables for the essay due tonight doesn't seem to be manifesting anytime soon.

I tap my fingers idly on the edge of the desk, glancing at the clock. It's nearly midnight now. The campus has gone still save for the ocassional laughter and footsteps of latecomers from the corridor. Peaceful. Quiet. But still not helping me collect my scattered thoughts.

I'm about to give up for the night and go to bed when the door suddenly flies open with a buest of energy and Yooyeon, in all her chaotic glory, stumbles into the room. She's panting, yet she has this wide grin plastered on her face.

I look up from my desk, startled by the sudden enteance. "Hey"

"Hey" she says, plopping down on the bed. "Guess what?"

I raise an eyebrow, bracing myself for whatever dramatic new she has to deliver. "What?"

"Yeonjun wants me to meet him at one of those fancy clubs. And he asked me to bring a friend" She grins even wider. "Guess who that friend's gonna be"

I blink. "Not me"

Yooyeons gives me a look, the kind that says she's not giving up until I give in. "Yes, you. Come on, Xinyu. You have been locked up here for so long. You need to get out"

"I've been studying" It's not enitirely a lie but it's not the truth either.

But Yooyeon's having none of it. "Studying, hiding, same difference. You are coming with me. Plus, it will be fun. Who know? Maybe you will even find a cute boy" She winks, then whispers. "Or a girl"

I'm not quick enough to surpress the blush that creeps up my cheek. "Yooyeon!"

"What? Don't tell me you still can't forget Ms. Espresso"

"This has nothing to do with her" To my surprise, my voice comes out shrill. "I'm just-"

"Blah blah blah. More excuses" Yooyeon cuts me off. "Come on, Xinyu. You will be doing me a huge favour. Yeonjun thinks I have no friends"

"You do have friends"

"Yeah. But no one would be available this late. And I'd rather go with you. You are....less dramatic"

Despite myself, I can't help but chuckle. "You mean 'naive' "

She shrugs, throwing a pillow at me. "You know what I mean. I don't need to worry about you throwing up or passing out or sleeping with the wrong guy"

"You just wants a wingwoman who will behave"

"Exactly" Yooyeon snaps. "So, what do you say? We'll go meet Yeonjun, hangs out for a bit. Then, we can come back to your books if you want"

I glance at my laptop, ths text cursor blinking in and out of existence as if reminding me of the marks soon to be lost. It's tempting to stay here but Yooyeon's right. Perhaps, I can take a breather just this once.

I sigh, pushing my chair back. "Fine. But don't expect me to drag your drunk ass back here"

Yooyeon lets out a triumphant squeal, practically bouncing off the bed. "Yes! You won't regret it"

She's already heading to the door when I throw a sweater over my shoulder. Yooyeon's dressed in her usual fit - jeans and a Lord of the Rings shirt, the one that says "You shalll not pass".

"Seriously? You are wearing that shirt again?" I ask, eyeing her.

Yooyeon shrinks away in mock offense. "Excuse me? Have some respect for the classics. Everybody loves Gandalf"

I roll my eyes. "Whatever. Let's go"

As soon as we step out of the building, we are hit by the cool night air. The campus is fast asleep, the street lamps casting long shadows across the brick paths. It feels peaceful, almost serene.

Yooyeon immediately starts chattering about this new Draco-Harry fiction, her hands waving animatedly as she speaks. I listen, half-distracted, my thoughts finding their way back to a topic unexplored for some times - Sohyun.

Maybe that morning in the dinining hall doesn't mean anything. It's jut a moment, and moments pass.

Despite the countless convincements, a part of me still wonders. What if she had smiled back? What if things have happened differently?

"Earth to Xinyu. Helloooooo" Yooyeon's voice break through my thoughts and I realize she has been talking to me this whole time.

"Sorry" I mumble, recomposing myself. "What were you saying?"

"I said, what do you think of Yeonjun?"

"He seems...nice" I answer, though I barely remember the guy.

Yooyeon grins, clearly pleased. "I know, right? He's the sweetest. And he's really into Harry Potter too, so that's a bonus"

I hum in agreement. Yooyeon's world seems so simple - vibrant, full of energy. Meanwhile, mine feels like the polar opposite. I'm always overthinking, second-guessing.

"Hey" Yooyeon nudges me with her elbow. "You are being all broody again. Stop it. We are going to have fun"

"Yeah, okay" I say, offering her a small smile.

I breath in the autumn air, hoping that mayb, I can stop cllinging onto a loose thread.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

The club is a short walk off campus, tucked into a narrow street line with food trucks and cafés that come alive at night. As me and Yooyeon approach, the distant music grows louder, the rhythmic bass reverberating beneath our feet.

A small line of people snaked out of the entrance, marked by a neon sign displaying its name "The Tavern". The building itself is unassuming, with dark brick walls and small windows dimly lit from the inside.

When we step in, the place opens into a large space with low lighting. The bar run along one side while the rest of the room is a dance floor, dotted with tables around the edge. The air is buzzing with music and energy - people pressed close together, shouting whatever on their mind over the DJ's beat. It's an enitrely different world from the quiet, orderly campus.

"There he is!" Yooyeon yells over the music, wavibg wildly at someone near the bar. I follow her gaze and find a guy leaning against the counter, already grinning like a madman. Yeonjun. I recognize him from the first (and the only) time Yooyeon introduced me. He seems to reflect Yooyeon's restless vigour - a match made in heaven (or Hogwarts, whatever).

"Yeonjun. You remember Xinyu, right?" she says, taking her place next to him. He offers me a smile, not too over the top, but friendly enough. "The one who's always drowning in books?"

I give him an awkward wave. "Hey"

"Nice to meet you again" He says, his voice smooth. "Yooyeon's always talking about you"

"Only good things, I hope"

He laughs. "All good. Don't worry"

Yooyeon reaches for Yeonjun's half-finished shot of whiskey on the counter but get stopped by a firm grip on her wrist.

"Eh eh eh. You are ordering your own drink, miss"

Yooyeon pouts at Yeonjun's remark. "You don't even want to share a drink with your girlfriend?"

"You see. The reason it's called a 'shot' is that it's meant to be savoured by a single individual" Yeonjun's voice has gone unsettlingly serious.

"And they say Xinyu's the smart one" Yooyeon says, punching his arm.

"And they say men are the agressors" Yeonjun retorts. "How do you even deal with this witch, Xinyu?"

Before I can think of anything to say, Yooyeon grabs his arm. "Before I cast a casual Crucio on your sorry ass, we should get to the dance floor"

Yeonjun didn't argue with that. The banter is just their way of communicating. "Xinyu, you should come too" he invites.

"Uh.....no. I'm good. You two go ahead"

"Are you sure?" Yooyeon asks, despite knowing nothing can budge me. "It wil be fun, I promise"

I shake my head, smiling. "I will pass. I think I will just....get a drink"

Yooyeon is silent for a moment, then she's off, dragging Yeonjun into the sea of bodies. I watch them disappear, Yooyeon's laughter echoing back, carefree and loud, like she's exactly where she belongs.

Me, though? Not so much. So, I head to the bar,sliding onto one of the stools and order a Coke. There's no need for anything stronger. I can barely tolerate anything that have the slightest bit of alcohol and that's speaking from experience. The bartender barely looks at me as he hands it over, already moving on to his next order.

I take a sip and glance around. The place is packed, bodies moving in rhythm, couples tangled up in each other and some loners who are just swaying, lost in the music. It's loud, chaotic and I feel totally out of place. It's not that I don't want to have fun - I just don't know how to in place like this. Maybe my definition of 'fun' is different from everyone here.

I lean back against the bar and take another sip. The girls here are all glitter and glamour - tight dresses, high heels and bold colors, shimmering under the disco light. Like the night is made for them.

And then there's me in my oversized sweater and faded jeans. My white sneakers seems an imposter to their sleek heels. I have been so eager to get out of my comfort zone for once that I forget to do the necessary preparations.

I search for Yooyeon's familiar face in the crowd, but she's lost in the restless horde, probably twirling around with Yeonjun. I'm happy for her but all I feel is...detached. It's pathetic. I know. I'm too old not to know my constant fear of being the outsider, of being denied.

I'm halfway through my coke when I feel someone slide into the seat next to me, the barstool creaking under the weight. I didn't look up, hoping that it's just another stranger who comes to mind their own business. But then, he clears his throat, loud enugh for me not to ignore.

"Hey" a voice rings out, smooth but with a cocky edge.

I glanced over and there he is - perfect hair, gleaming jacket and a gold chain around hid neck. I might not be the best at socializing but I recognize the type immediately - the kind that's used to getting everything he wants. I can see it from his look, like he spends too much time in front of the mirror. He gives me a lazy smile, the one that doesn't quite reach his eyes.

"Come here often?" He ask, leaning a bit too close. His cologne is strong and mixed with the sour stench of his breath, it's impossible not to flinch

"No" I say flatly, taking a sip of my coke.

"That's a shame. You should. A pretty girl like you shouldn't be sitting alone"

I bristle at that, the compliment feeling more like an insult. "I'm not really into clubs" I reply, my lazy tone desperately showing my lack of interest.

He either doesn't know or care. Instead, he leans closer, his elbow casually resting on the bar next to me. "You just haven't found the right sort of people. I could show you a good time, you know"

I swallow a sigh, resisting the urge to roll my eyes. "I'm fine, thanks"

But he only smiles wider, as if my rejection is part of a game he's used to playing. "You sure? Cuz I don't see anyone with you here. How about I buy you another drink? Something better than coke"

"No, really. I'm good" I say, more firmly this time, hoping he will get the message. But the bastard won't take his eyes off me.

"You are playing hard to get, huh?" He tilts his head. "You wouldn't believe how many girls like you I have seen. Acting all tough, only to end up in my bed at the end"

That did the job for me. I straighten up in my seat. "Can you just leave me alone?"

"Oh, come one. I'm just-"

"Fuck off, Taeil"

A voice cuts through the tension and I instinctively turn my head toward the source. Sohyun stands a few feet away, arms folded. Her shirt has been tucked into her dark jeans, casual but sharp. Her eyes narrow onto the guy who is now known as Taeil, as if she's used to seeing the scene plays out.

Taeil straighten up, his smile wavering. "Relax. We are just talking"

"No, you are not" Sohyun steps closer, gaze hard and unblinking. "Here's what's gonna happen. You are going to walk away and leave her alone.

Taeil's smirk returns but it's not so sure as before. "And what exactly are you going to do if I don't?"

Sohyun's lips curve into a smile, one colder than any I have seen from her. She pulls out her phone, holding it up for him to see. "Let's see. I don't think your parents will be so happy to see their son acting like a druggie. Plus, it wouldn't be good for either you or your parents if the video end up in the wrong hands"

All the color drain out if Taeil's face, leaving him gaping. "You are blaffing" He protests, though the panic is clear as day in his voice.

"You know I'm not" Sohyun smiles like a predator who has cornered its prey. "So, fuck off"

For a moment, there's silence, the music filling in the temporary gap. Taeil shifts on his feet, his confidence all gone and finally, he lets out a sharp breath. "Fine. Whatever" His eyes flash with fury. "But this isn't over yet"

Sohyun gives him a mock wave, wriggling her fingers as he strides out of the club.

I exhale, realizing I have been holding my breath. I look over at Sohyun, who's still standing there with her phne. A neutral look has returned to her face. Like the Sohyun just a moment ago was a totally different person.

"You ok?" She asks, sliding her phone back into her pocket.

"I - yeah. Thanks" I reply, still a little stunned.

She shrugs, giving me a small smile, genuine this time. "That guy's a creep"

I nod, processing everything that has happend in the last few minutes. Sohyun, the psychologist. Sohyun, the saviour. What isn't she?

She pulls up the stool next to mine, the one Taeil has occupied just a moment ago and settles in. I shift slightly, suddenly hyperaware of her presence, of how close she is. The bar light cast little shadows on her face, illluminating the little details on her face I haven't noticed before. The tiny mole on her nose catches the light first, then the one under her left eye. They are so small, barely there but they stand out now that I'm seeing her up close.

"First time here?" She asks. How she knows, I have no idea. Maybe it's my my clothes that give it away.

"Yeah" I admits, a little sheepishly. "It's not really my kind of place"

Sohyun raises an eyebrow, amused but not surprised. "Yeah, I figured. You don't exactly look like you are having the time of your life"

I let out a small laugh. "Is it that obvious?"

She smirks, her eyes flickering over to my outfit. "Just a little"

I glance down, fidgeting with the edge of my sweater, suddenly even more aware of my appearance. "It's not really.....I don't usually go to places like this"

"So, not a party person?" Sohyun's voice is more curious than judegemental.

"Not really" I admit. "I'm more of a...stay-in and read type"

Her smile grows and for a moment, the chaotic sounds of the club faded as if we are alone. "Well, you are here now. So might as well try to enjoy it"

She's so easygoing, so at ease with herself it makes me want to throw caution to the wind too. But then, I remembered that morning in the dining hall and my stomach twists. The memory is still nagging at the back of my mind. I bite my lower lip, debating whether or not I should bring up the subject.

Sohyun takes a sip from my nearly empty can of coke and before I can stop myself, the words spill out. "I saw you the other morning. At the dining hall"

Her eyebrows knit together in curiousity. "Oh?"

"I smiled at you" I say. "But you didn't see me"

Or act like you don't, I thought.

Her eyes widen for a moment before she speaks."Wait, really? Xinyu, I'm sorry. I didn't see you"

I blink. "You didn't?"

She shakes her head. "I swear. If I'd seen you, I would have smiled back. I promise. I guess I was just in my own head then. I'm sorry"

Her words are soft, delicate and sincere. It unravels the knot in my stomach I have pretended to be non-existent. Still, she could be lying but I decide to trust her,realizing how much I care about what she thinks of me.

I galnce away, feeling my cheeks heat up slightly. "It's okay" I mumble, sipping from the empty can of coke. "I just thought....maybe I'd misread things"

Sohyun gives me a small, warm smile. "You didn't misread anything. I'm sorry if you feel like that"

She's apologizing too much now it's starting to get uncomfortable. So I dismiss it with a nod.

Sohyun shifts in her seat, her eyes flickering down to my sweater, which have bunched up awkwardly from the way I have been sitting. Before I can fix it myself, she reaches over. Her finges gently tug at the hem of my sweater, smoothing it down without a second thought.

"There" she says, her hand lingering a moment longer more before she pulls it back.

I'm still processing the gesture when almost absentmindedly, she reaches out and brush a stray strand of my hair out of my eyes. Her fingertips skim the side of my face and for a moment, time slows down - just enough for me to notice the way her eyes soften.

"There you go" she says, leaning back. "Now you are perfectly suited for the night life"

We both smile at that and for a heartbeat, I swear I can feel something shift between us. Something I can't quite name. Something that might as well be a misinterpreted signal.

The air settles into a quiet lull, the ghost of her fingers still tingling on my skin. The warmth of the moment hangs awkwardly between us and for a moment, all I can do is sit there, actuely aware of the silent between us.

"So..." I clear my throat. "Do you come here alone too?"

The corner of her mouth quriks up like she finds my question amusing. "Alone?" she repeats. "No. Not really. I'm here with my friends most of the time"

I nod. "So, are they here tonight?"

She glances towards the dance floor. "Yeah. They are somewhere out there" she says with a small laugh. "I kinda slipped away for a bit. Needed a break"

A break. From what, though? The noise? The people? The club?

I hesistate for a second. "Not really your scene either?"

She gives me a sideway glance. "It's fun but...sometimes, I don't know. It can geta little old. Same people, same music"

"Yeah" I agree. "I get that"

She taps her fingers against the bar, thoughtful for a moment. "What about you? Do you come here yourself or did Yooyeon drag you here?"

My eyes widen. "You know Yooyeon?"

Sohyun chuckles softly. "We are friends on instagram. She followed me first, I think? She seems fun"

I can't help but laugh at that. "Yeah. She's definitely fun"

Sohyun tilts her head, as if searching for Yooyeon in the crowd. "She told me she's your roommate when I mentioned I see you in one of her stories. She's been hyping you up"

"She -what?" I stare at her, feeling the panic rising in my chest. "Hyping me up?"

Sohyun greans, leaning in just close enough for me to catch a faint scent of her perfume. "Yeah. She says you are a lot cooler than you let on"

I shake my head, laughing under my breath. "That's Yooyeon....being Yooyeon"

"Well, she's not wrong" Sohyun adds, her eyes catching mine for a split second before she goes back to staring at the dance floor.

The silence settles in again, like an early intermission. Sohyun's eyes flicker back to me and I try to ignore the way she's watching me like she's considering something. I sip at the can of Coke that has been emptied long since.

"Do you wanna get out of here?" She asks so casually, like it's something she asks anyone alone in a night like this.

"What?" I ask, unsure if I've heard it right over the loud music.

She lets out an exasperated sigh. "It's too loud. And hot. Let's do something fun"

I hesistate, unknowingly squeezing the coke can flat. "Like what?"

Sohyun gives me a small smile, laced with certainity and mischeif. "Trust me. You will like it"

There's something in her voice that disarms me. Perhaps it's because this night has already been so surreal, with Yooyeon dragging me here, the drinks, the noise and then Taeil's annoying persistence. And now, Sohyun, who had seemingly ignored me is suddenly offering to whisk me away. It feels like too much, and yet, somehow, not enough.

I find myself nodding faster than my brain can catch up. "Okay"

Sohyun stands, sliding a couple bills on the counter before I can protest. She doesn't say anything, just gestures towards the door, and I follow her out of the club.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

The air outside is sharp and cold and for once I'm grateful for my out of place sweater. Sohyun, however, doesn't seem to be fazed. If not, she seems to be enjoying it.

The music fades into the distant as we walk in silence, winding through the quieter streets near the campus. I don't ask where we are going and she doesn't offer an explanation. Instead, we fall into step beside each other, our shoulders brushing ocassionally. My pulse is still racing, though I don't know if it's from the club or from the cold.

Sohyun's pace is unhurried, her hands stuffed into the pockets of her jeans and I keep my arms wrapped around myself, pulling my sweater tight. After a while, we reach one of the taller campus buildings, its ivy covered walls bathed in the moonlight. During the day, these buildings always looks heavy, weighted down by unknown legacies. But under the silvery gloom of night, it has all been replaced by a strange sort of calm.

"Come" Sohyun gestures towards the side door as she leads me in. The hallway is dim, lit only by the low, humming lights overhead. She doesn't say a word as she climbs up the stairs, up and up until we reach the top floor. I'm breathless by the time we come to a stop in front of an old, rusted door, with a faded sign that reads Roof Access: Authorized Personnel Only.

Sohyun gives me a quick wink as she pushed open the door with a soft creak. "Not like anyone ever come here" She mutters to herself as she steps out into the night.

I follow her onto the roof, and for a moment, I'm stunned. The sky stretches out above us, a blanket of stars scattered across the black canvas of night. The city lights flicker below and I can still hear the distant sound of traffic but for the most part, it's quiet. Like the rooftop itself is another world within this world. The wind tugs at my sweater and I pull it even tighter around me, bracing against the sudden rush of cold.

Sohyun is already sitting at the edge of the roof, her legs dangling over the side, her gaze fixed on the stars. She pats the spot next to her and I sit, careful to keep a distance between us.

I tilt my head up, admiring the stars, feeling the enormity of the night settling down on me. "You come here often?"

"Yeah" Sohyun says, her voice soft. "Whenever I need to think. Or when I just need a breather"

I nod, unsure what to say. This isn't what I expected when she said something fun. But in a way, it's better.

We sit in silent for a moment, the only sounds the wind and the distant hum of the city below. This calm, it's peaceful and stirring at the same time. As if there's a deeper meaning to it that I can't quite grasp.

"It's funny" she says. "Back in the country, I used to lie out in the fields and just....watch the stars. Sometimes, I would stare at them for hours. It never fails to soothe me"

I watch the way her eyes trace the sky as if she's searching for something. To be honest, I have expected someone like her to be from a big city. An image of her anywhere else is unimaginable.

"Must've been nice" I murmur. "Being able to see them so clearly"

She nods. "Yeah. It's not the same here. The city kinda takes over. Light pollution and all"

I can hear the nostalgia in her voice and for a moment, I imagine her as a little girl lying under that wide country sky, her face lit by starlight. There's something tender about it, something that makes me want to reach for a fragment of her from a different time.

After a pause, I point up at the sky. "Well, we've got stars here too. Not as bright, but they are still there"

Sohyun tilts her head, following where I'm pointing and I can't help but smile a little. "Okay, bear with my nerdiness for a second"

She chuckles. "Go for it"

I lift my hand, tracing an invisible line through the air. "That's Orion. See the three stars right there, in a row? That's his belt"

Sohyun squints, trying to follow. "Oh, I think I see it"

"Orion was a hunter" my voice dropping slightly as I tell the story. "A really good one too. Some says he fell in love with the goddess Artemis but her brother, Apollo, wasn't too happy about it so he tricked Artemis into killing Orion" I pause. "She realized her mistake too late and heartbroken, she placed him among the stars so she can always see him"

The story hangs in the air when I finish. I glance at Sohyun, her face bathed in a soft glow. She's quiet for a moment, her expression thoughtful.

"That's kind of sad" she says quietly.

"Yeah" I whisper. "It is"

I shift slightly, turning to face her and she does the same. Our eyes meet and for a moment, the world stills. I notice the way her hair flatters with the breeze, the city lights reflected in her eyes and the faint smile tug at her lips.

"You are really something, you know that?" she says, her voice low. "Is this your revenge for my espresso lecture?"

I blink, then smiles, feeling the tension melt away. "Maybe" I say, my voice almost teasing. "But instead of coffee, I use tragic mythological hunters"

Sohyun tilts her head, her smile widening. "Touché. You really know how to open-up someone"

"It's a natural talent" I shrug, although my sarcastic tone gives away the bluff.

"So, this is how you get back at people?" She continues, her voice still teasing. "By making them feel guilty for their ignorance about constellations"

I laugh, rolling my eyes. "Please, you are not the first person to endure my mythology rants. Consider yourself lucky it wasn't longer"

"And I thought my espresso thesis was bad enough"

It's like we are back in the café except that now, I'm the one doing most of the talking. But we are still the same two people with their own crazy obsessions.

Then in the lightest of gestures, Sohyun reaches out. Her fingers find the sleeve of my sweater, gently tugging at the cuff, as though fixing it, like she did earlier. She looks at me, eyes warm and amused.

"Revenge or not" she says, letting her hand fall back to her side. "I think I like your stories"

I swallow, trying not to lose my footing in the closeness of the moment. "Well" I managed to say, my voice uneven. "Next time, I will make sure to pick a happier story"

Sohyun chuckles, leaning back, although her eyes never leave me. "I will hold you to that"

The air around us suddenly become charged with something unspoken. There's a quiet, almost reverent pause in the conversation as if neither of us wants to break whatever delicate thread is holding this moment together.

Sohyun shifts slightly, inching just the slightest to my side. The stars seem to burn brighter, and I find myself leaning into the silence, into the space between us that feels both heavy and light at the same time.

"Do you ever feel like....." Sohyun starts, her voice quiet, like she's speaking into the night as much as to me. "Like everything around you is waiting for something to happen?"

I blink, her words sinking into the stillness. "What do you mean?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

Her gaze flickers back to the stars. "Like....right now, for instance" Her eyes meet mine again, and there's something in her expression, like she's trying to find the right words. "It's like we are on the edge of something"

Her words send a shiver through me, not from the cold but the hidden meaning underneath. It's not an unfamiliar feeling, but it's one I've been pushing aside ever since we met. The strange pull towards her, a quiet fascination that has grown into something else entirely, something that's so wrong and so right at once.

I glance at her and find myself staring at the mole under her left eye, like I'm seeing her for the first time.

"I know what you mean" I finally say, my voice almost too quiet like I'm afraid to break this fragile peace between us. My hands tighten around the railing and I glance down for a moment, trying to gather my thoughts. "It's like.....something have changed"

She moves an inch more closer, the space between us nearly non-existent now. I wonder if she can hear my heartbeat now. My breath catch in my throat as she leans in, enough to cover the remaining space distancing us.

"You are right" she says softly. "Something has changed"

It's so quiet, her voice almost swallowed by the night. MY gaze flickers to her lips for a second - a brief unintentional moment that I quickly pull back from. But I wasn't quick enough.

Sohyun notices. I can see it in her way her expression shifts. And she knows that I know that she knows. Her hand, resting casually on the railing, moves slightly, her fingers brushing against mine in the lightest of touches. It's barely a graze but it's enough to send electricity tingling through my nerves.

The moment stretches, suspended between us, as if we're waiting for something to happen or maybe just waiting for one of us to make a move. The tension is palpable now, not uncomfortable, but thick, charged with possibility.

I can't tell who moves first, or if we even move at all. It's like an invisible force has suddenly drawn us together. Her face is so close now, I can see the way my breath mingles with hers in the cool night air.

Then slowly - so slowly it feels like the world is holding its breath - Sohyun lifts her hand. She reaches out, her fingers brushing against my sweater, smoothing a wrinkle near my shoulder like she did the last two times. But this time, it's different. There's an unspoken intentionality to it that makes my breath quickens.

Her hand lingers, tracing the fabric for a moment longer than necessary. And then, without breaking eye contact, she lifts her other hand, gently tucking a strand of stray hair way from my face and tucking it behind my ear. The tender touch send a warmth through me.

Suddenly, everything feels sharper, more vivid - the sound of the wind, the soft glow of the city lights, the way her fingers linger near my cheek, as if she's waiting for my permission to go further.

"Sohyun..." I whisper, not even sure what I'm trying to say, but needing to say something, anything, to break the tension between us.

But she doesn't move. She just watches me, her eyes searching mine, her hand still resting gently on my cheek. "Is this okay?" she asks as if it's a secret we only know.

I nod, not trusting myself to speak without stuttering, unable to think of anything but the way her breath feels against my skin.

And then so so slowly, it feels like time has stopped, she leans in.

Her lips brush against mine in the lightest of touches, barely a kiss at all, more like a promise, like she's testing the waters, waiting for me to pull away, to tell her to stop.

But I don't. I won't.

Because in that moment, everything have ceased to exist - the city, the stars, the quiet night around us. All that's left is the warmth of her lips, the way they press against mine, gentle but certain.

I kiss her back, just as softly, just as tentatively. And for a moment, it feels like my life has reached its epitome.

Sohyun's hand, resting near my cheek, slides down to cup my jaw, her fingers warm against my skin. She tilts her head slightly, pressing her lips more firmly against mine, and I feel a soft sigh escape me before I could stop it.

My hands, awkward at first, find their way to her waist. I hold her there, not too tight, but enough to feel the warmth of her body through the thin fabric. She responds by pulling me closer, her fingers slipping into my hair, tugging me gently, deepening the kiss.

Her hands move from my jaw, sliding down my neck, her fingers grazing the sensitive skin there. My heart is pounding louder than the wind around us, around the city below. The kiss becomes more insistent, more desperate, as if we are trying to say something through it, something words can't describe.

Sohyun's lips parts with mine and for a moment, I think she's finally pulling away. But instead, she moves closer, her breath ghosting against my jawline. A soft shiver runs through me when I feel the first press of her lips against my neck, light and teasing.

Her mouth moves slowly, gently exploring, like she's savoring the taste of my skin. Her lips trail down the side of my neck, and when she presses a firmer kiss jut below my ear, I can't stop the quiet gasp that betrays my lips.

Sohyun hears it. Of course, she does. And I feel her smile against my skin.

"You are so sensitive here, Xinyu" she whipsers before her lips continue their path lower, her hands finding the back of my neck.

When she presses an open-mouthed kiss to the curve of my neck, her tongue barley flicking against my skin, I feel my whole body tense with the intensity of it. My hands tighten around her waist, pulling her even closer, yearning for more.

"Sohyun..." I whisper, barely recognizing my own voice and her response is to kiss me harder, her lips hot against the sensitive skin of my neck.

The world won't stop spinning, I reduced to nothing but the sensation of her mouth, the warmth of her body against mine and the quiet, breathless sounds that fill the space between us. It's overwhelming and yet, I can't imagine it stopping anytime soon.

When it finally does, I can still feel the ghost of her lips lingering on my skin. I feel her breath, close to my neck for a second longer before she pulls back. The cool night air rushes in where her lips had been, but the heat she left behind stays, radiating beneath my skin.

I open my eyes, barely realizing I have closed them and glance at her. Sohyun doesn't say a word. She just leans in, her dark locks scattering as she rests her head on my shoulder. Her gaze is fixed on the stars, unblinking as if she's trying to imprint them to memory.

But then, without looking away, she lets out a quiet breath and says, so softly I almost miss it.

"Fucking Apollo"

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

#triples #park sohyun #zhou xinyu #kpop fluff #girl group fluff #kpop fanfic

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bunnys-kisses · 3 months ago

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Could I get cinnamon rolls with a tea and a cofee on the side? For Max Verstappen. I love your fics! Thanks😁

bakery menu

want to suggest your own order? hit up the menu for more info! i write for more than just f1 so ask away! thank you for this lovely anon for submitting this request! the classic rivals au is back baby!! i love this combo (and the driver), so thank you for the request! have a great rest of your day!!

cinnamon rolls ("no one needs to know.") + tea (semi-public sex) + coffee (rivals au) served by max verstappen (formula one)!

cw: smut/pwp, rivals au, ferrari driver!reader, semi-public sex, secret relationship, fingering, quiet sex, mean!max

"well, i have to say this much. if max verstappen thinks that he's going to get in between me and my championship, then he has another thing come for him." you laughed with your arms crossed.

you could soon feel max's lingering gaze from the other side of media pen which only made you give a bright smile to the reporter asking you questions. you were a ferrari driver and max was a red bull driver, the two pieces aren't meant to fit together.

most rivalries were for the cameras to create drama. and to an extent your rivalry with max was for the camera. but that didn't mean it was paradise between you two. you'd push and shove until you both ended up in bed together.

but, sometimes there wasn't enough time to find a bed.

"you're a bitch you know that." max said as he cornered you in the paddock. he held onto your jaw with his hand and said, "saying all those things about me."

"what they were true."

he leaned in closer, "to imply that i have a small cock? we both know that's not true. i don't know what game you're playing, but i swear." he grabbed you by the collar of your racing jacket and brought down a side hallway off the paddock. somewhere more quiet.

that only led to you pressed up the wall with max in your space. those blue eyes seemed dangerous as he undid your jeans and stuck his hand down your pants.

those thick fingers grazed your pussy and you almost jumped out of your skin. you hissed quietly, "what the fuck is wrong with you?"

he said lowly in your ear, "i think you've forgotten your place there." he kept close to you as he sank two fingers into you, "you might be riding high on the track, but when it's you and i. you're under me." he panted a little, he could feel his own cock strain as his pants.

"you're a dick, verstappen."

"and yet you always come back to me." he grazed your clit with his thumb, "if you can't handle it on or off the track, get out of the way." and felt your breath get stuck in your throat. he then sealed his lips against yours.

you knew that you could have anyone you wanted, you were at a level that any adult man, woman or whoever would want you. you were one of the most successful drivers in formula one. hell, you could have your pick of the paddock both with drivers and other staff.

and yet you were crowded in a hallway with your rival max verstappen. you were letting him finger fuck you as a punishment for saying his cock was small.

you both made out once more and you had your hands dug into his shoulders. he was working overtime with his fingers, especially your clit.

when he pulled away and pressed his forehead against yours, "no one needs to know. if you want to be a good girl and say something nice. just like no one knows that you're in love with me." he panted.

"oh yeah, i'm pretty sure redbull has the champagne ready when we make it public."

he chuckled, "only way they'll have you on the same team as me."

"well, i guess they'll have to dream a little longer then." then continued to make out with him. you two ran the risk of getting caught, but there was very few going around the area at this hour.

he held onto you with his free hand, he clutched onto your hip as he buried his fingers to the knuckle. he wanted to make sure you felt him inside of you. even if he wasn't fucking you with his cock, he'd still cause you to make a mess.

"you drive me crazy." he said softly, "you think that you're the new god of racing, but i have bad news for you. you'll always be mine above all else. you know that you'll be my wife one day. i bet your old man would be happy about that." he said slyly into your ear.

"i hate you."

"no you don't, treasure. you love me, and you love these stupid fucking games we play." he moved his fingers differently inside of you and you almost bit into his neck to stop from moaning.

you knew deep down that is max proposed tomorrow, you'd at least think about it. then you'd pull some trick and like steal the ring and wear it so you wouldn't give him the satisfaction of saying 'yes'. you knew that the racing world would be beyond happy if you got married.

and as he made pleasure twist in your gut, you didn't think that being mrs. verstappen was a horrible idea. you panted through a tense jaw as he continued to push his fingers inside of you. it felt amazing, your body felt on fire as he continued to plunge his fingers into your poor, achy hole.

"you're a prick." you panted.

max chuckled, trying to ignore the pain in his cock, "right, right. a dick, an asshole, i'm such a fucker. i'm all these things, but i will be the champion this year."

he pulled you into another kiss. you whined a little bit into the kiss, as you felt the surge of pleasure overtake you. it was just too much. the kiss was the loudest part of your interaction. you've been good at not causing too much noise.

"shit." he panted.

you dug your nails into his forearm as you felt the wave of pleasure crash over you. you tensed your jaw as you finished with the help of max's fingers. you pressed your forehead against his shoulder and panted.

"good girl." he said. he took his hands out of your pants and zipped them back up for you. he patted your hip and stepped back. he did something that made your knees weak. he put his two fingers into his mouth and licked them clean before he wiped his spit off his pants.

"you fuck." you panted as you felt your knees wobble.

he shrugged, "poor little thing." he said, "maybe next time you won't use such harsh words when talking about it. and even if my cock was small, i know more ways to make you cum." he leaned in and kissed you on the corner of your mouth before he left the hallway to go back to what he was doing.

you zipped up your drivers jacket and pulled away from the wall. you sighed before you left as well. trying to get it all behind you. as you walked back to your team's section. you saw the reporter from earlier.

while most would've just kept walking and brushed out the interaction with max. you started to walk faster to catch up with the reporter. "hey! guy from earlier, do you want an interview real quick!"

if max thought that he was going to win this little rivalry by finger-fucking you in a hallway, then he had another thing coming. you weren't easy to beat, he knew that from the track. so why did he think that you'd be easy beat off the track?

your core still felt wet as you answered the reporter's questions. silly verstappen, there was no one like you. <3

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rieamena · 4 months ago

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Got any headcanons for a Billy Kid that accidentally catches a computer virus, causing him to basically simulate a common cold?

not! a computer whiz—

billy who thinks he's dora the explorer. rummaging around in an abandoned storage unit with nekomata for starlight knights merch (he never found any). he stumbled upon an old computer and "thought it would be cool to give it a try". he immediately shut down.

billy whose system starts executing a sneezing subroutine at random intervals, causing him to "sneeze" but they're really just small bursts of static and sound effects

billy whose voice becomes slightly garbled and distorted, as if he has a stuffy nose. occasionally, he'll give out a couple electronic coughs

billy who moves much slower. his energy levels are severely drained and the fluidity in his movements are practically gone

billy who inevitably starts glitching. his speech occasionally cutting out or repeating words. "i told you guys before! i━━━━and then we we we we━━━━dont you understa━stand?!"

billy whose internal fans can no longer keep up. the virus causes his internal systems to overheat more easily so he has to spend his healing days propped in front of a air conditioner

billy who swears he's funny. he fakes his death at least four times. "is this the end━━the end?" he weakly says, arm reaching up towards the bland ceiling. and no one takes him seriously. "am i━━am i goi━going to robot heaven?" and before you could even respond, nicole steps in, "you'd go to robot hell."

billy who becomes more vulnerable and needy, seeking your help and comfort. he will definitely lean on you (emotionally AND physically) and ask for reassurance that he'll be okay

billy who asks for paper to write messages when his voice bank betrays him. "SYSTEM ERROR: NEED HUGS" or "VIRUS DETECTED: SEND COOKIES" and other similar notes are scribbled all over the page

billy who thanks you and the crew for sticking by him. dealing with a sick robot is not for the weak

sorry it took so long :(

billy kid taglist

@pedrosimp137 @mary-moongood @linx-nyx @lemonboy011 @eisblume77

@amaryllisenvy @megan017 @astral-spacepumpkin @corrupted-tale @inkycap

@thurstonw @plapsha @lavenderthewolf @kurakusun @miymiymiy

@sweetadonisbutbetter @cobraaah @mochiitoby @clickingchip @bardivislak

@h3r6c00k13 @cozi-cofee @apestegui-y @luvuyuuji @theitdoitnobody

@fersitaam @cathrnxxo @monkepawbz @fl1ghtl3ssdrag0n @dabislilbaby

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kaivenom · 7 days ago

Text

The SPN boys perfect date with you

Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Gabriel "The Trickster", Jack Kline, Castiel

A/N: for the first time on a long time writing something that isnt one piece😂. The anime and the manga are on pause and i am crying🥲

Masterlist

Sam Winchester

Probably a date at home, ordering food and watching movies with you, the while cozy treatment.

Picking you Up at your home and ordering the take away on some restaurat, picking a cofee and getting to the bunker with you.

Eating while watching bad movies, anything you want to see and laughing cause It's probably a bad horror movie.

Reading in silence with your bodies entaged and sharing little mischevious looks.

And of course, at some point you start to make out and now you are trapped with him, una le to go back home.

Dean Winchester

Riding with baby, no doubt.

Like Sam, he orders some food with you, but instead of going to the bunker, he gets you to a nice and calm spot, far from society and organize a picnic on top of the impala.

If the weather it's good, there IS probably a river or lake near by to swim.

If the weather it's bad you stay inside the impala, eating and playing cards,

And like Sam, he can get a little to much needy and even if you are outside on the lake or inside the impala, he Will start to make out with you and you Will end Up getting frisky on the backseat.

Castiel

Probably at first he doesnt get the concept of date s he follows you with your daily routines.

Now, that he knows what a deate IS, he realizes that his perfect date with you it's the thing that you already had been doing, rutinal things.

Such as cleaning and shopping groceries, anything that helps you with your chores.

And usually, this "dates" end up with a tender moment wich usually is a warm Bath.

So its just the two of you, rubbing each other rubing your sore bodies.

With a slow music playing on the background, bubbles, music and even some wine.

Gabriel "The Trickster"

A party, a buffet, even a brothel, since he can make every scenario posible, everything it's the perfect date, cause It IS with you.

So, you get to choose the when and the where, cause he can materialize It in any second.

He just wants to make you laugh and have a good time, even if it's with the most bizarre or the most common things, i picture this man as a total pleaser.

But, the two things that he Will do no matter what it's eat sweets and feed you with them.

It's his nly condition to make the evening perfect, have you on his lap and put a Candy on your tongue, maybe with his mouth.

Jack Kline

A carnival or a amusement park.

He still has the soul of a child so his perfect date would circle around fun.

Eating pop corn, playing minigolf, trying to win everything on the booths, you still don't know where he got the money,

If he makes you laugh then the night IS a good one.

He finishes the night with a kiss on your doorstep, he saw that on a movie and wanted to try It.

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compact-turtle · 8 months ago

Note

Hi! Hope your holidays are going well! I was reading the post about the yans and fatherhood and how Atticus "-Isn't really that interested in kids unless his darling wants them. At first, he'll try to talk his darling out of it. Gives lists of reasons on why he can't be a dad."

What reasons does Atticus give for not wanting to be a dad? He seems to be the traditional type and seems to love the simple domestic life, I'm curious what would hold him back from wanting a family like the ones he watches on TV. Is he worried about having to share his darling's attention, or is it more about the trauma around his own parents/upbringing?

-Atticus is 100% the traditional type with wanting the domestic life. He even keeps a little journal where he writes his own headcanons daydreams of him being married to his darling. he'd probably make a little journal entry with a crudely hand drawn picture of your future family. Just gotta make sure darling doesn't find out now....

Ex:

Date: XX-XX-XXXX

"Today our hands tuched. I know they wanted to hold my hand. They must been to emmbbaress to hold my hand while their stupid dumb insgifnciant "friends" watchhed. I wonder how soft there hands are? I can't wait for us to get marryed and I can hold them. I'd wrap my arms around their whaist while they make me my morninng cofee. I can drive around town and show them off to everryone! Second thughtt, I don’t want there eyes on my doll. >:( "

-At first, he'd totally be thrilled if you brought up the idea of children. He would imagine it like in the movies, where he's the provider and you're the caretaker of the children. Everyone is happy and it's sunshine and rainbows. After, he'd probably relish in the fact that there's someone who's always waiting for him.

-Also, I don't think he'd be worried around sharing his darling's attention. If anything, I think he'd see the children as an anchor for you? Another reason why you can't leave him and is bound to him. He'd also see the kids as a product of your love and something the two of you made together.

-It totally comes down to his trauma around his own parents and upbringing. How can he be a good father if he never had one? What if he accidentally repeats his father's mistakes and locks them away in closets? Wouldn't you grow to hate him if he was just like his father?

-He'd be more concerned about turning out like his parents and somehow hurting you in the process.

-However, he'd tell you a different story

You two can't have kids because he'd be too tired to watch them, it's not safe to have kids on a farm, nobody will take care of them, he has too much work to do, they're too expensive, etc...

-I imagine the thing that would change his mind would be the fear that you decide to go have children with someone else if he kept saying no. Especially if you're watching a movie together and a scene with a baby or kids comes on. "Look at how cute that baby is, Atticus! Would if we had one?"

"No."

"Don't you want a baby with me? I really want a baby with you Atticus!!"

-He'd probably hear in his head, "I want a baby! If you don't want one with me then I'm leaving"

-However, I think he'd really try his best not to turn out like his parents. He'd do extra research (watch movies and television lmao), and listen to you talk about what you want him to be like as a father. As well as the life you imagine for your kids. He'd def try to make that happen and jot it down.

He'd take extra careful steps to watch his tone, consider their feelings to an extent, and give them reasonable punishments.

#yandere drabble #yandere imagines #yandere headcanons #yandere x reader #male yandere #yandere writing #yandere x darling #yandere scenarios #yandere farmer x reader #yandere farmer #tw yandere #yandere male #soft yandere #yandere #yandere stories #yandere suggestion #compact turtle #yandere thoughts

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hashileio · 1 year ago

Note

Hello, Mr Nightmare.

I came here cuz i whould like to work in your cofee ^^

I know the boss said to leave it with Killer, but I'd *highly* suggest leaving your application with Dust instead. He might not really care all that much, but at least it'll remain (mostly) in one piece.

Killer's very likely to lose it or use it to write corny jokes to flirt with customers.

#hashiart #answered asks #cursed coffee shop au #nightmare sans #nightmare!sans #also lmao every time i draw nm he just looks so different fdbsmfnbdsnm mans a chameleon in the worst ways possible #nm with glasses is making me *THINK*#killer is willfully irresponsible and it's everyone's problem #also this is skipping the queue oops

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hannamoon143 · 4 months ago

Note

Hii! I saw that you're taking requests so I looked at your Master list and you don't have anything for Seungmin there yet so I had an idea 💡 would you write smth with a fem reader who asks him out before he has the chance and him maybe being a lil salty about it? I don't have any other specific details I can think of so you can just go with the flow or whatever you feel like if you decide to write this.

I hope you're having a great day!! Don't forget to take care of yourself and drink water 🩷

Also idk if u have any emoji anons but can I pls be this one 🔮?

Since the first moment

request from 🔮anon

Genre: Fluff,slight angst

warning: cursing,getting overwhelmed,crying,mostly flufff tho

Pairings: (Barista) Seungmin x fem Reader

a/n: ofc i can write this!I really hope it is not a problem that i added a little bit angst? I jst got so lost in writing that i wrote a lot of extra stuff that isn't really in your request. thank you for the cute idea,and the sweet words at the endd. Pls take care of yourself too and also drink water❤️(says me who hasn't drank anything in the past six hours)

Since the first moment you were his Light.his one and only love. When seungmin saw you stumbling through the door of the cofee shop he worked in, he couldn't take his eyes off of you. You looked a bit messy with your soaking wet clothes. It seemed like you didn't have an umbrella when that horrible storm outside started,and that you came here to be somewhere warm and dry. He didn't know if it maybe was your beautiful face,your little smile when you stepped into the warm embrace of the coffee shop,or your eyes that were sparkling like the stars,but he found you mesmerizing.

You just got into the worst storm of the past months but when you stepped to the counter you had a big smile on your face. It gave seungmin a warm feeling in his stomach. "Hi! Can i please have an matcha latte?" you asked with a joyful voice. He nodded.When your order was done he came back with your matcha latte and a towel.You looked at him,very confused. "Because you are very wet from the rain." seungmin said,thinking about how you could forget that you were soaking wet? You thanked him three times and rubbed your hair with the towel. Seungmin went back behind the counter but he didn't take his eyes off of you until you went out again. He was sad because he thought he maybe wouldn't see you again.But he wa entirely wrong with that.

From that day on you always stopped by at the coffee shop in the evening,and you always were a little disappointed when seoungmin wasn't there. Over the weeks you two started talking a bit more. You knew that he had three best friends,that he always roasted his oldest friend that only was three years older than him and that he was very insecure about his smile,because in high school he got bullied for it.You didn't understand the people who said his smile was ugly because for you it was something,that always made your day brighter,and your coffee tasted sweeter.

So this day you walked in and looked who was behind the counter. A smile found it's way on your face when you saw seungmin standing there,preparing a drink for someone.When you stepped onto the counter seungmin looked up from his drink and told you to wait a minute and he would be there for you.There was also another barista named jeongin,but since mostly jeongin and seungmin worked there he already knew that seungmin took your orders. When seungmin got back you told him you wanted a matcha latte and then asked about his life and his friends while he started preparing your order.

As you currently talked about how your cat escaped you you looked out the window. You immediately got silent.At first he thought you just forgot what you wanted to say but when you didn't continue talking he looked at you to see why you suddenly stopped. Your face was pale,and your eyes empty. What was going on? Seungmin never saw that your eyes lost their spark.When he wanted to ask you if you were okay you suddenly stepped away and walked out of the coffee shop.Seungmin was confused and watched you through the window.

You didn't know why you went outside. You immediately regretted it,but now there was no way back. You stood there facing your ex and the woman he cheated on you with. The night when you first met seungmin was the night you two broke up because you found out that he was cheating on you.From that moment on you promised yourself to always be thankfull for the little things in life. But now where you faced him you were so scared. "Look what we have here,the little bitch y/n" he said in a sarcastic tone. He had a mischievous smirk on,his arm around the woman by his side. You gulped. You had no idea how you could sound so confident when you were so scared and anxious:

"And look who we have here,the cheater with his little accesoire"

The regret immediately came when you were done with the sentence. Your ex looked like he would burst and now you were really scared.God you forgot how bad he could make you feel

"You dare saying that y/n? You are the little slut here.You had to learn that you need to show respect to your boyfriend.You always were at the house of this hyunjin.And then you always came with your stupid speech that you were just best friends. So y/n my little slut,girls who don't want to hear have to feel."

This was too much. How could he say things like that.There were some times were you got overwhelmed.It didn't happen very often,but when you got too overwhelmed and everything got too much you sometimes just broke down.This was one of this moments.You couldn't face his words anymore.You were surpised though when you fell down on your knees,but before you hit the ground someone caught you. Behind you there stood seungmin.He gently sat you on the ground and you were shocked by what he did then. He just punched your ex into his face.Then everything felt somehow unreal.Seungmin immediately kneeled down and asked if you were okay.Your ears were ringing,and you felt a throbbing pain in your head.You wanted to cry.You didn't even exactly know why.Now there also were a lot of people around,some to see if you were okay,and some to look after your ex. It was so loud.And bright. You weren't able to answer seungmin so you just clung onto the hem of his shirt and covered your face in it.You started crying.Were you really that horrible of a person like your ex said? You only noticed half,that seungmin scooped you into his arms,and dragged you inside the coffee shop.

When you got into a room at the back of the coffee shop he settled you down on a blue couch. He wanted to stand up and get you some water,and also give you a little bit privacy,but you took his hand and pulled him back. "Stay.Please?"you whispered,tears still running down your cheek.Seungmin never saw you crying.When you came into the coffee shop you always smiled a pretty smile,you were almost always happy.So when he now looked into your eyes,tears covering your cheek he felt really ,really bad.He sat down beside you and looked at you. You were finally able to say something

"I'm really sorry that i made such a scene,i just saw my ex outside that window and i was like frozen,and i just went out without thinking about it.I'm so,so sorry. I know you shouldn't have to deal with this,you are just a barista that wanted to do his job when a crazy girl broke down because of things her ex said to her."

Seungmin couldn't believe you.He thought you were something like friends.And why did you apologize for getting overwhelmed? He couldn't help but brush your tears away with his thumb. Then he said

" Y/n,why are you saying things like that? You are definitely not crazy,and even the kindest and strongest people need to rely on someone sometimes.And i know i probably don't know everything about you,but don't believe what that shitty guy said. Always when you come here into the coffee shop you start talking about what is going on in your life.And as i know you are the kindest,sweetest caring soul i know. Remember when you told me how you ran half an hour through the heavy rain,cause you remembered the stray cat that you saw that day? And you took it home with you because you remembered she seemed sick and wasn't able to walk. Or that one time when you were here with your friends,and one of them spilled boiling hot coffee on you,but you just said it was okay,and laughed about it? I could give you hundred examples that prove that you are a very good and kindhearted person."

You looked at seungmin.Did he really remember all the things you told him day by day? Did he really think that of you? You knew that seungmin wasn't a very affectionate person,and that he had his own ways to show love or appreciation. You even saw him smile only one time,and that was when jeongin gave him a cute birthday card on his birthday.But then he did another thing that surprised you a lot. He leaned in and gave you a long,warm hug. It felt so comforting,you decided to enjoy every moment of it.When he pulled away you had the smile he loved so much on your face again. You were almost shocked when he smiled at you. "There is the smile i love again" he said.You could have said the same to him,but he stood up,telling you that he'd get you an iced americano,your go to order.

You two always were very friendly with each other,but from this day on,you got really close. You exchanged numbers and from time to time you met more often. Seungmin had the biggest crush on you since the first time he saw you.But when you met,and he admired your beautiful smile,the way you giggled when he acted silly,he realized that this wasn't just a crush.He was in love. He loved you.

6 months later

Since you were stressed with your exams from university,you didn't meet that often right now.Seungmin missed seeing you everyday,but he knew you needed space to study.One day you finally had your last exam. His feelings grew a lot in the past weeks.When he couldn't see you,he always missed you.When you didn't smile he immediately did everything to make you smile. He realized that he could never live without you. So when you were in your exam how he assumed,he invited his best friends jeongin,bangchan and felix over, to help him with his feelings.

"Minnie you were never so in love before, please just tell her. If she doesn't feel the same way,then you two can sure stay friends.But i don't think that she doesn't feel the same way. When we celebrated jeongins birthday all together, she looked at you with so much admiration and love in her eyes.You are an idiot if you can't see that" Felix immediately said,when seungmin told the boys where he needed help with.

"No,no no wait. You kept your feelings for so long,you have to make it special. If i would be you,i would ask her if she wants to go out because her exams are finally over.Then you two go eat something,and after that you take a walk.Then in the light of the moon,you confess your feelings to her,and you ask her if she wants to go on a date with you" jeongin joyful suggested.

"In the light of the moon?you are so cheesy innie" Seungmin said,but secretly he liked the idea.

The guys made lots of plans how to ask you out.Not to cheesy but not to normal.They totally forgot the time. When the doorbell rang chan asked "Did someone order something?" everyone said no,and seungmin stood up from the floor where they sat the whole time,to open the door.He was kinda surprised when he saw you standing there.Was it this late already?In his brain he played the plan the guys made together, one more time and opened the door.

"Heyyy min! My last exam is finally over!" you said happyly. You didn't even think,you just threw your arms aroung him and hugged him. You were so happy because the exams had stressed you a lot,and you always studied and never got out of your apartment.You met seungmin only sometimes, when you decided to give yourself a 10 minute coffee break at the coffee shop seungmin worked at.But now everything was better. You were so excited at this moment that you felt like you would burst. This was not only because of the exam. You promised yourself that if you would pass all your exams,you would finally confess your feelings to seungmin,that you kept in since you first met. You wanted to do it gently,at a spacial place or something,but you couldn't hold it in anymore. You stepped away from him and the words just came out of your mouth.

"Minnnn,i want you to please let me talk,and don't interrupt me. There is something i wanted to tell you.But i kept it in for a very long time now,and i can't hide my feelings anymore.Soo i don't want to give a long speech,i just want to say that i love you.kim seungmin,when i first stepped into that coffee shop soaking wet,you seemed very sweet and i came back to maybe see you again. A little crush on a barista,not more.But then we started to get to know each other and you seemed like a really kindhearted warm guy,also if maybe sometimes you don't show it.But that one day with my ex,i found out that you cared for me.That you really like me the way i am. And that was when i fell for you.I love you kim seungmin,would you go on a date with me?"

You finally allowed yourself to breath again.You were proud of yourself for finally confessing.But when seungmin first didn't say anything you got nervous. Was he not feeling something like that?? You hoped he wouldn't force himself to say something he didn't want to,just so he wouldn't hurt your feelings.

Seungmin didn't know what to say. Of course he was really happy that you had the same feelings towards him,and he would want to kiss you and hug you and cuddle with you at the rest of the day. He knew it was stupid but there was also something different. You destroyed his great plan to confess his feelings for you. What if now you thought he was a weak man that wasn't even able to show his feelings? He was shaken out of his thoughts when you coughed a little bit. Right he had to answer.

"Yes y/n. I would like to go on a date with you."

"Uhm, will you pick me up at seven p.m?"

"Yes,sure. See you later"

He shut the door. Did you say something wrong? Now you were really nervous.Why was he suddenly so cold? If he wouldn't be in love with you he wouldn't have said yes,right? You were still lost in your thoughts when you came into your apartment.What if he really didn't feel anything for you,and just didn't want to hurt your feelings or ruin your friendship? thousand of those thoughs were in your head,until you sat down in front of your clothes to decide wich one to wear tonight.

Meanwhile seungmin felt really bad. After the boys said that everything would be fine,and he shouldn't concentrate so much on that you made the first move, they finally went away. They said he should be glad that you felt the same for him. And he really was! But he just wasn't able to get the thought out of his head, that he should have made the first move,and he should have done it special.He knew that this was so unnescesary but for him it was just important.

As you finally picked your outfit ( a navy blue top with pearls on it + a white skirt) you realized that it was late.very late.Shit. You put on some make up. You only used mascara and lippgloss because seungmin always said that you were always pretty,but without something covering your face you looked even better. As you were done with the make up you got dressed. You left your hair like it always was. Exactly in the moment where you were done with everything your doorbel rang. You were so nervous when you opened the door.

Seungmin looked at you. He always found you pretty,but with your beautiful outfit and with the fact that you were his dat you were even prettier if that was even possible.But he still was upset because he couldn't show you his feelings first.You smiled at him,it wasn't your usual natural joyful smile but it still looked mesmerizing.You both just muttered a hi and then you sat into his car. You two drove to your favorite restaurant.You were there together multiple times before but now you both were so nervous. But as you drove in silence you couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Look seungmin,i know i probably suprised you with my feelings,but you have to know you didn't have to say yes just because you didn't want to hurt me or something.We can go eat and after that pretend like it never happened.If i can't have what i really want i still want you to be my friend."

Seungmin glanced at you. He was confused. Did you think he only said yes because he didn't want to hurt you,and he didn't even wanted to go on the date?

"Y/n. Do you really think i don't want this? I love you too. You are the prettiest,kindest, girl i know.Why would you think i only said yes because i didn't want to hurt you?"

Was he being for real ?

"Seungmin,when i confessed to you all you said was that you would like to go on a date with me.Then you shut your door. And the whole drive you didn't say one word. You didn't even smile. If it isn't this what is going on then?"

He just realized that he really wasn't that nice.And that only because of this stupid thing.

"You will definitely laugh at me if i tell you."

"I promise i won't"

Seungmin sighed.If he didn't want you to hate him he had to tell you.

"So uhm,y/n. I was in love with you since the moment you stood before me,soaking wet from the rain but still the prettiest girl i ever saw.The way you still smiled at me,when you just broke up with your boyfriend how you told me later. And my feelings never changed.They just grew bigger.And why i reacted like this was... so basically i met with the guys and asked them how i should confess to you,because i planned to do so when your exams were over,so you wouldn't be that stressed anymore.So i planned with the guys to buy you a flower bouqet,i would give it to you,and then we would go to our favorite restaurant to eat and laugh.After that we would go for a walk,and near the han river i would confess to you,with the shine of the moonlight and the sweet words i wanted to tell you. Okay that sounded very cheesy i guess but when you stood there confessing,and asking for a date i was scared that you maybe thought i am to weak or something because i wasn't even able to show my feelings."

When seungmin was done you were at the restaurants parking spot. Seungmin didn't look at you.He was embarassed.But when he wanted to get out of the car you held him back.You said:

"Then let's do it like this."

"What?"

"If it is so important to you,let's do everything exactly like you said.I don't want you to feel bad or weak because of me.When we get out this car we will do this date exactly like you just told me. And then you can confess to me. We act like i didn't say anything yet. But you don't need to get me flowers though"

Seungmin smiled at you.You just realized how much you missed his big cute puppy smile. He didn't say anything, but he took a wonderful flower bouqet out of a bag.You smiled at each other the biggest smiles ever. And then the evening really was exactly like seungmin told you his plan before. Seungmin gave you the flowers,you went into the restaurant and talked and laughed like always.After that you went for a walk under the mesmerizing moon, along the han river.There he told you what exactly he felt. And then he kissed you. It was a soft,sweet kiss. It was like the first taste of your life with seungmin.And you really liked it.

You both found this evening perfect. Seungmin, and also you made your feelings very clear.You two finally started a relationship,and you couldn't have been happier.Seungmin was just perfect.

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