#codywan nation saw it first

[nobie]

“When it was dark, you always carried the sun in your hand for me.”― Sean O'Casey (ver. 1)

[sisterofleatherfrog]

Clones at the Olympics

So listen, I fully believe the Olympics should NOT have happened this year. It’s fun to watch and I enjoy the spectacle, but this still wasn’t the year sis. We’re here anyway though, so here’s my thoughts for who would be doing what and maybe how they got started. Includes both the summer and winter. 

This is a bit of a monster so get yourself something to sip on before you begin sis🥤Sorry some of these are a lot more detailed than others, for some it was just easier because I vibe with the character, thought of a joke, or just know more about the sport.

Warnings: Really none, but there is a mention of smoking in Crosshair’s section, grievous injury in Echo’s, Pong Krell in Dogma’s, brief mention of bullying in Tup’s, mention of a real athletic accidents resulting in death in Gregor’s, minor CodyWan if you squint/want it to be that, and excessive swearing throughout because I use curses as punctuation.

Word count: 2921

⛸⛷🥊🤺🏅🏹🏓🏒🏐🚵🏾‍♂️🏊🏽‍♂️

I would like to think there’s a joke about their country’s home team, rather than Team X, they’re team Fett (seriously, just how many children did this guy have?! And they’re all athletic?! Them Jango Fett genes tho). Some of them have been here before, some are first timers and they all make sure to support each other.

Omega- Skateboarding

-She lived near the skate park with her four older brothers (the Batch are her brothers) and was always fascinated by the people jumping and riding. 

-One day while walking home from school she saw a cool older girl (Fennec) and asked if she could try. Fennec, being pretty cool and a best-worst influence type, let her and gave her some tips. She ended up coming home WAY late and gave them all (especially Hunter) a heart attack; they were three minutes away from putting her face on milk-cartons. 

-She was in love with the sport though and went back to the park whenever she could. Hunter eventually relented to getting her a skateboard of her own because he worries, but ultimately he wants her to pursue her dreams.

-She went viral once thanks to a video of her doing some rad things in her princess Leia costume and later got scouted when they decided to add the sport. 

-Was absolutely blown away during the opening ceremony and was excited to meet and compete with people from all over the world.

-Is now also eyeing archery thanks to the influence of one of her brothers (guess who).

Wrecker- Boxing/ Shot Put/ Hammertoss 

-We all know this man is powerful (he squats Gongky my dudes), he’d be a formidable enemy.

-”I pick things up, then I put them back down.” is pretty accurate. 

-We saw with Fennec that he’s not so good at the martial artsy type hand to hand, but give him a target to throw his brute force at and he’s fucking ready.

-He’s also very proficient at yeeting just about anyone (Rex) and anything.

-He got picked up for boxing pretty early on at his school due to his obvious size, enjoyed it a lot because even though he is an absolute sweetheart, he doesn’t have to hold back and be gentle.

-When he started the tossing sports, at first the field would clear when he came out because while he had the correct force, he really couldn’t aim.

-Whenever he loses to somebody he’s genuinely happy for them because ‘Wow you’re strong! Guess I gotta’ work harder!’ 

-Besides this, he’s a gold-medalist cheer section all on his own because he’s so LOUD AND PROUD for his teammates, it doesn’t matter if he really knows them or understands the event. He made a giant banner for Omega for when she competed.

Hunter- Fencing

-He tried a lot of different sports growing up and was considered one of the best all-arounders throughout school and was actually being scouted for the national football (soccer) team.

-Made a good captain in the team sports he was in.

-He first picked up the foil on a (admittedly odd) date though and never put it down.

-His adolescent interest in knives and swords came back in full force.

-At first early in his career he got accused of cheating some because of the points he was scoring and unprecedented skill but no, he was literally just that good at reading his opponents. -It’s almost like he’s got a 6th sense for it. It’s uncanny.

-He’s also very, very fast and agile thanks to experience from other sports.

-Also thanks to the hair and his legendary status he’s sometimes jokingly referred to as ‘Errol’. 

Crosshair- Biathlon (skiing w/ shooting)/ Cross Country Skiing/ Trap Shooting (Skeet Shooting)

-Let’s face it, this man is a cold weather bitch.

-Once pumpkin-spice season comes a-callin’ he rises from whatever cool place he’s been hibernating and knows his time has come.

-In the olden day of sports he’d be like that guy who smokes a pack, competes, and somehow gets first. Of course, our man here has taken up the much healthier toothpicks.

-He likes the challenge of endurance; actually started out as a runner but the summer is too damn hot.

-There exists one copy of a video (Tech has it unbeknownst to him since he swears he tracked them all down) of him racewalking where whomever was filming kept zooming in on his butt and how it was wiggling in those little, tiny shorts-

-Being long and skinny really helps him with his races and he adores that there’s a sport that combines his love of skiing and shooting.

-Definitely has a few records for time and accuracy.

-He’s the other best-worst influence on Omega and has been showing her how to do archery. He likes archery, it’s relaxing for him, but he wouldn’t do it competitively. 

-The only reason he comes out for the summer Olympics at all is because they have a sport that is exclusively shooting and he highkey likes to show off.

Tech- Curling

-For those who don’t really know, curling might seem like a bit of an odd sport, but the sweeping the athletes have to do is very intensive and the stone toss is a precise art. 

-Tech was always fit like his brothers and enjoyed a round of frisbee-golf but he wasn’t exceptionally passionate about any sport he joined.

-Curling is a sport of math and often playing the long game in terms of strategy. Catching the Briar tournament on tv was life changing for Tech. He joined his local league just as fast as you could say ‘sliders’.

-He’d never been happier, and after competing nationally he got scouted and began his international career.

-Secretly he’s very jealous of team Norway’s pants and wishes his team could wear some like that. 

Echo- Hockey/ Sledge Hockey

-Echo always loved hockey and as soon as he could skate he was determined to grab a stick and go. Echo used to play too when they were younger before he went off to do his own thing.

-The king of assists, while he wasn’t so good at directly getting the puck in the net, he liked to play the support man and back up his team members.

-A bit of an understated player because of this, but it made him a good captain because he could keep a level head and didn’t have a hockey ego.

-Never went professional though because he ended up joining the military. When he came back home after a tour missing 3 limbs he thought his hockey career was done.

-When he got his prosthetics he could still play a street round with his brothers but he missed the ice. 

-It was Fives who determinedly researched sledge hockey and helped him into it, presenting him with his first sled and getting him time with a team in the next city over. `

-It was a hard road, but he’s back on the ice, happier than ever, and a big figure in the Paralympics and Invictis games. Does a lot of fundraising for Wounded Warriors and other such organizations. 

Rex- Swimming (400m butterfly/backstroke)/ Speedskating

-He started out as a swimmer and really liked summer sports in general. Idk why but he just clocks me as the type of swimmer who would do really good with those styles.

-Unfortunately he had a bad shoulder injury at one point and had to decide where he wanted to go in terms of sports.

-He pulled a Clara Hughs and switched sports and seasons entirely, going from swimming to speedskating (yes I know she went from speedskating to cycling but you know what I mean).

-Mans has nice shoulders, thighs of steel, and it is GREATLY appreciated.

99 (Jango’s dad in this AU)- Former Javelin champ/ Coach/ Chef de Mission 

-Everybody’s favourite, the entire team would throw hands for this man.

-Enjoyed a good career in his youth but ended up wrecking his throwing shoulder pretty badly and it’s now a little misshapen and stiff.

-He then became a coach and stressed to those he mentored how to take care of themselves and especially taking injury, no matter how small, seriously for their own sake. 

-Now he’s the man on the team you go to if you have a problem and it’s his job to help. It doesn’t matter what event you’re in, he’s on it.

-I know I said earlier that Wrecker was a gold-medalist cheering section but no, this man right here, is the actual champion. He may not be loud, but by god is he so proud of every one of the athletes.

-Everybody’s grandpa.

Cid- Boxing Coach

-She is the crusty old coach, like the person in the movies who says they’re retired when the hero comes to them for help but ends up mentoring them when they see their potential (think Phil from Hercules).

-She’d seen a lot of big boxers with potential come and go, but Wrecker’s honest enthusiasm and sheer will convinced her.

-When he got into throwing she helped correct his aim after he ruined some expensive equipment. Again, his enthusiasm was appreciated, but some control was needed.

-Is definitely invited over to the Batch’s house for dinners and became their grumpy aunt. Has a soft spot for Omega after the girl continually kicked her ass at chess.

Fives- Figure Skating

-Echo is a showman and he would do so well at this, he has the attitude and personality. 

-Already had a bit of a base for skating from his years of hockey with Echo, he had to adjust to the new blades but figured it out pretty quickly. Was quite the terror when he started though, hell on knife-shoes as it were.

-A bit into his career he is renowned for his pizzaz, finesse, and style. He definitely has fun with it and likes to play it up for the judges and crowd.

-I picture him like Elvis Stojko and a young Patrick Chan. He’s a phenom technically, he’s strong, his routines typically are quite creative, and the music for them usually gets the crowd hyped. 

-Yuri on Ice, and the Ice Princess movie are unironically his favourites. 

Hardcase- Downhill Ski Slalom

-Chaos incarnate, he loves bombing down the hill at mach-fuck you and the thrill of almost dying whenever he goes airborn. 

-The first time he ever skied, he immediately went to the top of a black diamond and proceeded to scream the entire way down (there may or may not be a video) and surprisingly not go splat against a tree. 

-After getting banned from that club, he signed up for proper lessons at another, and the rest is history.

-He’s probably the guy in this video.

Jesse/Heavy- Beach Volleyball

-I had a difficult time placing Jesse, I’m still not quite happy with this so lmk.

-Thinking about it I feel like this guy would have a killer serve.

-Also lowkey likes to be shirtless for the crowd. 

-I also feel like him and Heavy would make a great beefcake combo. 

-Jesse’s serve and Heavy’s spike are legendary together.

-Sun’s out guns out.

Kix- The long-suffering Sports Medicine guy

-”You literally shattered your ankle half a year ago, sit dow- and there they go.”

-”What do you mean you were in excruciating pain the entire time?!”

-”Well bad news, that’s not supposed to bend that way.”

-He just wants everybody to get the rest they need and heal. 99 sympathises with him.

Tup- Gymnastics (High/Uneven/Parallel Bars, Trampoline, Floor Routine)

-He’s artistic like Fives, but his energy is a little different. He’s more sensitive and understated; graceful and discerning. I just feel like he’d be really in tune with this sport.

-When he was young watching other olympics he was enthralled by the movement and control of momentum. Immediately went to the backyard to the trampoline and yote himself off of it trying to do a backflip. 

-The sort of physical challenge that gymnastics is, is fun for him. The controlled tumbling through the air is the best possible bonus.

-He caught flack by some assholes at school for it, but his literal army of brothers put a stop to that pretty quickly. Now he’s competing at the Olympics so it’s not like they matter anyway.

-He can also strangle people with his thighs alone and do ‘fancy flippy shit’ (Five’s words).

-”Back at it again at Krispy Kream.”

-I literally cannot stop picturing this man doing gymnastics, he’s literally so pretty and him flipping around on the bars/ the mat/ in the air/ trampoline with his hair is just sending me. 

Dogma- Ping Pong

-Listen, I love Dogma, he deserves the world for shooting Krell in canon, but this man just cannot relax about anything. He’s the sort of guy to constantly have the instructions for a board game on his lap or otherwise already have them memorized before playing.

-This is to say he takes the ‘silly’ games v e r y seriously, and as far as Olympic sports go, Ping Pong is a little silly (no shade to people who like Ping Pong, but it’s like, a bar game to me?).

-Definitely got into it by taking something one of the guys said WAY too seriously and took it to a literal Olympic level.

-Pong Krell is a shitty, abusive coach who was secretly trying to push doping onto his trainee’s but Dogma brought all of his bs to light and got him fired and banned.

-Laugh all you want though, he’s got the Serena Williams of Ping Pong serves.

Gregor- Skeleton

-He’s even crazier than Hardcase.

-Rather than just going down a snowy hill fast, he’s going down an ice track head first! People have died in it’s sister sport Luge (though you are more likely to die doing skiing or snowboarding). 

-Totally gets that it’s dangerous, he takes all the necessary precautions, but this is Gregor and he’s a little off his can. 

-He’s had a bit of a head-bonk from an accident before, but that obviously didn’t stop him.

-Nobody is really sure how he came into the sport, he sometimes would take off for weeks at a time before returning with stories of the wild, improbable things he’d done. One time he came back and had apparently been recruited to a team, the rest of that time is still a little fuzzy for him for some reason.

-This begins to make the others question just how true his stories that seemed too crazy to be so, actually were.

Howzer- Pairs Skating

-This man, oh this handsome, beautiful man. We may have only known him for two episodes but oh my god.

-I have him pegged as an intense romantic. This would translate well into the storytelling of pairs skating.

-I imagine if he found a partner to match his energy they would be tough competition.

-He’d be good at tangos in the free-dance category. Actually he’d probably prefer the dance, I imagine he’s in the second half of his career, not as young as Fives and past his peak jumping years. 

-HIM SKATING TO ROXANNE CAN YOU IMAGINE

-Besides Tangos, prepare to cry and yearn like you never have before when it comes to emotional waltzes.

-He’s absolutely swoon-worthy, so therefore I see him in one of the sexier sports. 

Wolffe/Boost/Comet/Sinker- 4-Man Bobsleigh

-Bitches that slay together stay together.

-I’m not sure who of Boost, Comet, and Sinker would be the pilot (front of sled) or middle crewmen, but Wollfe is definitely the brakeman (last in).

-It’s not unusual for a retired quarterback to be the brakeman; they’re solidly strong and provide a last big push before hopping in the back.

-Plo Koon is their coach/team dad. He makes sure they’ve had enough rest/ time to heal/ eat, and the entire team wears the infamous ‘Plo’s Bros’ shirts and a mountain of scarves they all knitted for each other. 

-Despite rumours, he did not lose his eye doing a downhill sport (there are very few who do, he’s a bit of a man of mystery and few words).

-They all take the sport seriously, but they have fun. May or may not have had a Cool Runnings moment where Wolffe was hanging off the back of the sled screaming in an octave his brothers were unaware he could reach. There isn’t any evidence, but it is a popular rumor.

-Sometimes they worry Plo, but he’s proud of the men and team they have become together.

Cody- Swimming/ Cycling

-Was on the same swimming team as Rex, they swam solo but also did relays together and were pretty in sync. After Rex retired from the pool he also decided to go his own way.

-He likes summer sports more and decided to stay there and started doing some track cycling. 

-The fast pace was exciting, but wasn’t quite his style and instead started to do long distance stuff. 

-On the road in the peloton, he works really well with his teammate Obi-Wan and they often team-up to breakaway or bring each other up the worst climbs. 

-When he won the Tour de France before his Olympic career began, he dedicated his win to Obi-Wan. When he has to compete against him in the Olympics he is ruthless though, absolutely no mercy.

-Likes the minute-to-minute strategy of cycling.

Bonus:

Sandwich/ Soup Clone- All of us, sitting at home on our asses watching other people being athletic af.

Also I ain’t got a single CLUE as to where Boba is.