#cloud retainer moodboard

[moaa]

navi

happy birthday xianyun <333 11/04

[tasnad]

☆꧁༒𝒫𝒜𝒮𝒮𝐸𝑅𝐼𝒩𝐸 𝐻𝐸𝑅𝒜𝐿𝒟 ༒꧂☆

[kouzume]

　　　　　 　⋌　　　　☁️　　️　　闲云　　　　　 　　　　　　 　

　　　　　 　⋌　　　　🌬️　　️　　cloud retainer

[thelostrainbowthenovel]

☁️ Winx Club AU: Noelani, Fairy of Clouds ☁️

================================================

I'm finally back with the boards for my Winx Club AU~! :D Starting with the rest of the fairies, the first one that we have here is Queen Noelani! In this AU she originally starts off as a witch, but she became a fairy as an adult after her positive magic manifested when she finally confronted her trauma and allowed herself to heal and move on. Similar to both the princesses and the witch queens, I wanted to design a higher-level fairy form for her and Demeter that was a little more extravagant and fitting for the fact that they are royalty(which basically includes longer dresses, crowns, jewelry, and extra details to give them a fancy vibe). I'm not sure what this exact fairy form would be or what it would be called, but design-wise I mixed in elements of Enchantix and the Major Fairies' designs. I hope you enjoy!

Some extra notes about her fairy form:

The skirt portion of her dress(which got a little cut off to fit the moodboard) would be just a little more poofy/fluffy, to really resemble a cloud. The thinnest of straps would also be attacked to the dress, with gold and diamond detailing which would also be on the bodice. Her gloves would be more of an opera length and be more glittery, with the gemstones shaped to resemble rain drops. Her crown would still retain the celestial motifs, though would be a little rounder and more reminiscent of clouds in the detailing. In addition to her accessories above, she would have a long, gold necklace with diamond details and features a cloud, being similar in design to her earrings.

Her wings would be very large and pink, with a lighter pink outlining them and a gradient on the inside, with darker pink jewels hanging off of the tips of them. Her hair lightens a little bit in color and gets more curly, with some of it pulled back into an elegant updo with a gold and diamond cloud-shaped hair clip, as the rest hangs down. Her makeup would consist of pale pink, gradient eyeshadow with white detailing to make stars and clouds, pale pink blush, shimmering pale pink lipstick, and shimmering pink nails with subtle clouds designs.

[yuutakei]

first love ✿❀: •̩̩͙*˚ ❀ 2

reflectionㅤ♡ྀི ₊ you in my mind...

𑁍ࠬܓthere are many ways i can get myself to think of you.

i can lie down on the mauve pavement and let my eyes flutter shut to angus & julia stone.

when we snuck out of the house on new year’s while my parents attended a party of an acquaintance i had never met. unbeknownst to my sister (who lay undisturbed in her room), by 9pm we had made our way to an empty park down the road and rolled around on the basketball court. it was so quiet that a rustle of leaves would interrupt our whispers. i planned to confess to you that evening. our bodies were parallel on the pavement, candy-laced breath mingling as music played softly from my phone, which had been discarded a few yards to the side. i felt your body tremble in the slight breeze and lent you my hoodie. but, as pale fireworks sounded in the distance in the wake of a new year, i couldn’t help but bite my tongue. the words i had been clutching in my tightened fists never fully left my mouth. 

it was a conscious decision. some moments are too precious to do naught but let them pass by. and even as my compulsions threatened to shatter the screen shielding my one-sided love, i held back. all i could do was utter the words:

‘thank you. i love you.’

and you kissed my cheek.

𑁍ࠬܓ there are many ways i can get myself to think of you.

i can sit by a pool and dance with dampened sparklers, unflinching as the flames lick the tips of my fingers.

that evening we had sheepishly watched a graphic indie animation over ice cream and mi goreng, clutching each other until our stomachs hurt. nervously apologies spewed from your mouth as i steadied myself to join you outside. our typically-dismal march had granted us a pleasant evening; though the oft bashful stars were hidden by a thick duvet of clouds, the light from the waxing moon dimly lit the porch. the water of the pool was still and warm, gently rippling as i dipped my toes in for a pleasant surprise. to my left, you eagerly began to tear open a pack of sparklers. 

‘i saved them for when you came over’

i photographed you effervescently - as if your being was as fleeting as the light in your hands. but, even as the rod diminished to a glowing umber, you remained as beautiful as the seconds before.

wrapped in blankets in the early hours of the morning, i told you how i felt. i’d reached a point where a relationship or romantic pursuit proved itself to be untimely, but my mind had reached a breaking point. your words of reassurance lay my raging heart to rest gently as if i were a babe in your care.

my love for you has not subsided in the slightest, rather it has transformed into an immense admiration and emotion that surpasses the levels of euphoria my simple crush could ever amount to.

my dearest, the pillar of my youth, i love you now and forever and i will see you again soon

notes:: ⤵⤵⤵

another diary-entry type thing i’ve been adding to for the past 2 weeks after i posted that little teaser drabble thing on the yuta moodboard crazy where i get my inspiration to write from haha

i’ve been told by friends and mentors to look into publishing my writing to local journals and magazines but there’s something so romantic about pouring the contents of your heart into a silly little self-indulgent blog with 2 followers. i get that catharsis of relinquishing my emotions into a digital void but also retain the comfort of it remaining somewhat unknown at least for now. strangely, an public webpage feels more secure than a physical diary (i am i younger sibling who was also a victim of journal-snooping).

++ after brief reflecting, i’ve also come to notice that love is an extremely recurrent theme in my works. it’s to the point where i begin with the intention of creating something without blatant reference to it but i always seem to circle back…

i’m going to challenge myself next time and concern my next drabble piece with something else (乂☉ｪ☉=)!!

[nemo-of-house-hamartia]

Under the Ocean, Above the Clouds

Nemo here!! So, as mentioned in the ask that my dear friend @straight-into-the-animus​ sent me, I do have a Soulmates!AU. However, because I am a sucker for mixing stuff (and because I truly know no chill whatsoever), it’s also a Fantasy/Magical!AU, and if the moodboards wasn’t clear enough, it’s an AU where Mermaids and Angels exist and are the main protagonists. So, allow me to share a little bit about the lore first. (keep reading under the cut)

In this Au, there are two main races, so to speak: the Celestial and the Finfolk. The Celestials, also known as Winged People, are people that live up above the clouds, in Silver Cities that float up in the sky through magic. They are what we consider Angels, so to speak, although they are not, not in the biblical sense of the word anyway. They have a way to conceal their wings that make them blend easily among the humans, and when they conceal their wings, they appear fully human, although their hair are as soft as down (and a few are actually hidden beneath those locks) The Mermaids (or “Finfolk” as they are called by the Winged People) is made up primarily of mermaids belonging to different folklore. It’s not unusual to find “regular mermaids” mingling with selkies, tritons, merrows and melusines. They usually inhabit the shallow waters close to the shore (thinking about between 40-70 mt of depth in the ocean) and it's not unusual to find them on shore. When it comes to regular mermaids, they can spend some time on the shore, gaining legs, but that time is connected to the tides, and generally they can only access land only during the low tides.They gain their legs and lose their tails temporarily, but retain their gills. Now, in this AU, Dottie is a mermaid that normally lives in the cold waters of Svalbard, up in the northern part of the Atlantic Ocean, and ventures out of that place only to visit her sisters in the warmer waters of Cape Nereus, where they live all together. Whenever Dottie arrives and join her sisters’ pods, she goes directly to Colette (my Unity Oc that I have yet to introduce), for a potion that allows her to live in the warmer waters without worrying about getting overheated. Dottie is a skilled musician, able to play the human violin and the mermaids’ ocarina with impeccable talent, and like all Finfolks, her voice is heavenly, if dangerous. Much like her human counterpart in my canon AU, she is a stargazer and her most precious possession is a human sextant and a compass that her old mentor, Byron of the Northern Sea actually gave her when he taught her how to read through the stars about the ancient myths. Jacob is a Celestial, born up in the sky with his twin Evie. He was a hatchling of just a few hours that he already started to be a troublemaker, already trying to spread his wings without them being able to actually support him properly. He grew up looking forward to becoming the best flyer among the Celestials, but dreaded the moment he would have to join their Army, despite being a dear friend with Arno Dorian, The Keeper of the Peace. Jacob, much like Shay Cormac before him, always had an incredible passion for the sea, and would find any occasion to fly down to the shore far below in order to look for hidden treasures or in hope to find pirates to challenge to a duel. He also adores to listen to sea shanties as well, and it’s not unsual to hear him sing. Jacob's wings are of course those of a rook, while Dorothea's fins are those of a Betta fish (this last choice is purely stylistic on my part because, since I want to draw them, I want to have those whimsical fins floating around like there is no tomorrow.)

Each mermaid and each celestial is born with a small object that usually contains another small object that signifies who their soulmates are going to be. Finfolks are born with a conch or a closed shell that will contain a pearl with the colours of their soulmate’s tail, while the Celestial are born with a small egg that contains a feather that embodies the colours of their soulmate’s wings. Usually the conches and the eggs are intact until the Mermaid or the Celestial reaches puberty, the age in which they start to develop romantic feelings for another being. Unlike all other Merfolk and Celestials, though, Dottie’s and Jacob’s didn’t open, leaving them both to think that they would never be able to find their soulmate. It happened before to others, but of course, when the time came and they didn’t see them opening, they were left devastated, for it was a great shame among Celestials and Merfolk not to have a soulmate. Those who didn’t were considered “incomplete”, and looked upon with pity.

The years starts to pass, and Jacob and Dottie still hope that they will find someone for themselves, even if not their soulmate. And one day, they  actually find that someone by chance. Jacob, now in his 40s, is sitting by himself on the beach, preening his wings, singing a song of old he had once heard from Edward. Dottie happens to be in the nearby, and hears him, and because it’s a soulmate!AU (and I think the two of them have enough angst as it is in my other two stories), Dorothea is immediately smitten by this handsome winged man, whose voice is so sweet, a gentle low vibrato.

Jacob as well is curious about this young woman, and uncaring about the law that forbids Celestials to mingle with Finfolks, he approaches her and the two starts to talk, and enjoy their time together on the beach. Only once they part ways, they realize that their egg/shell has opened, revealing a white opalescent feather and a obsidian black pearl, exactly like Dottie’s tail and Jacob’s wings.

Now, in this AU, I also included Shay, and for him, I tried to mirror his situation in Rogue, so to speak. Shay was born a Celestial, but at a certain point in his life, he defected for the love of a Finfolk. Due to his defection of the Celestials, Shay had his wings broken by the Keeper of the Peace, the Winged One Arno Dorian, the leader of the Celestial Army. Shay’s wings were never able to heal properly, and when it was clear that he would not be able to fly anymore, he decided to cut them away, to sever whatever bond he still had to the Celestials, Now only two large scars are left on his back. However, when he started to sail the sea with his vessel, he found happiness again. Shay had the wings of  a white-tailed eagle, The defection of Shay was caused by his love for the sea and its people, rather than its first allegiance to the Celestials. He had fallen in love with a mermaid that was later on killed by some soldiers of the Celestial Army, and he took his vengeance upon them, breaking their wings, therefore crippling them forever. For this reason, Shay’s wings had been broken the same way he did those soldiers, and he had been exiled, substantially sentenced to die, because life away from the Celestials  is highly dangerous, and solitary Celestials are easy prey for the Crossed Ones (a.k.a. The Templars). Celestials and Mermaids are not meant to ever be together, and so it's forbidden for them to mingle, let alone fall in love with each other. Some Celestials and some Merfolk, however, have defected, and had ignored those laws, which lead to the birth of the Sirens. The Sirens are not considered full-blooded Mermaids, but rather an aberration, because they are the results of the mating of a Winged One with a Mermaid. Usually Sirens take after either one of their parents, (i.e. a specimen that exhibits only one trait of either species - tail or wings) but in some rare instances, it’s possible to find a specimen that exhibits both traits, albeit underdeveloped (small wings that are unable to sustain the weight of the carrier, therefore unsuitable for flying and scaly legs with webbed fingers, that allow to swim faster, but not the same way as a full-blooded mermaid.). So, this is all I have for my Soulmate!Fantasy!AU. I am looking forward to write a little bit about this, maybe one-shots, maybe small drabbles, maybe even just headcanon. But I am going to write about it, that’s a certainty.

Hope you will like this!

--Nemo

[thepoeticfirefly]

Always You (Chanyeol x Reader// Baekhyun x Reader) Five

Summary: She never intended to fall in love with her best friend knowing that doing so will hurt what they already have. But what she never wanted was to hurt them both in expense of her feelings (to edit if i think of a better summary than this crap)

Genre: Angst/Fluff; high school to college au; chanyeol & baekhyun x fem!reader

Disclaimer: this story is mine and any stories with a similar plot is a coincidence. this is story is purely my imagination; moodboard is mine, i really worked hard doing it and I know it’s not that good but it was my first time doing one but it was fun😆

Warnings: angst

Word Count: 3.6k+

A/N: HAPPY BAEKHYUN DAY!!!

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7

Months passed, Chanyeol's birthday passed, Christmas and New Year passed, and not once did Chanyeol and Y/N spoke a word to each other. They had accepted that they were not friends anymore and that they would graduate without each other by their side (though the thought of it still tugged at their heartstrings).

With each passing day, Y/N did her best to move on. But whenever her eyes would fall on Chanyeol, Y/N would feel sorrow course through her body, missing the unusually tall boy and the times they spent together. She would miss when they would smile and laugh together, when they were inseparable and when their bond was the strongest. But not everyone would stick with you in your life, not even the ones you thought would be there with you till the end, and Y/N learned to accept that.

Chanyeol and Mi Soo were still together, the strongest since they started going out. But deep down Chanyeol’s heart, there’s a gap that not even Mi Soo was able to heal. He would find himself missing Y/N but every time he thought to make amends with her, he’ll be reminded of Mi Soo and thought of it as wrong. He would brush off thoughts of Y/N and fill them with Mi Soo’s presence. But Chanyeol felt undeniably empty. For years, he would be with Baekhyun and Y/N all the time. But these days, even hanging out with Baekhyun was becoming scarce.

Baekhyun stayed friends with both Chanyeol and Y/N, hanging out with them separately which made him sad. All he wanted was for them to be together again. He couldn’t help but blame Mi Soo for separating Chanyeol and Y/N though she did not take part on their decision to break their friendship. Mi Soo was ready to accept whatever Chanyeol decided to do. If he would still be friends with Y/N or not, it was his decision and Mi Soo told herself to accept it.

Mi Soo did feel guilty when she learned that the two decided to end their friendship but she also felt relieved. It was evil in her part but she was glad because she didn’t need to act as if she was okay if her boyfriend still hanged around with his former best friend who was very much in love with him.

The more time Mi Soo and Chanyeol hang out, the less Baekhyun found himself hanging out with Chanyeol. At times, Baekhyun would find himself with Chanyeol and Mi Soo and when he realize that Y/N was missing, he felt wrong that it was as if Mi Soo suddenly replaced Y/N in their group. And at those times, Baekhyun would excuse himself, feeling that he was betraying Y/N.

And because of that, Baekhyun hanged around Y/N more, and before anyone even realized it, Baekhyun and Chanyeol were growing apart. Though they would still talk to each other, it wasn’t like before where they would tell each other everything. Now, they would just have casual conversations before going off to be with Mi Soo and Y/N.

As their friendship slowly dissipate, the day of their graduation slowly etched its way to their batch. Everyone in their year found themselves focusing on what course they would take and what university they would go to. All their conversations revolved around what university they want to be in and if they already had their entrance examinations. These sudden talks of courses took a toll on Y/N who had no idea as to what she wanted to become.

Baekhyun was already set on studying for a game development course and Y/N was glad for him, happy that he would be studying somethings he had always had a passion on. She would reminisce the times the three of them would play video games and how passionate Baekhyun was about it. Y/N would laugh at the thought, realizing the times Baekhyun would spend all of his time playing games would actually be beneficial to him.

Chanyeol, as Y/N has always knew, would probably be studying music. Chanyeol is undeniably talented in music and Y/N had always supported him about it. But since they aren’t talking anymore, Y/N doesn’t know what Chanyeol would be studying for college.

All of Y/N’s classmates already had their goals set on a course and Y/N felt pressured, even more because of her parents who had been firing every course they knew, suggesting this and that that ultimately didn’t help Y/N decide on what path she would take.

With a month away from graduation, Y/N focused more on her studies to prepare for her finals. She thought that if she didn’t think about it, she would feel less pressured. But the thoughts of what course she would take did not leave her mind as it bothered her every second of everyday. Y/N was scared. She didn’t want to switch courses in case she didn’t enjoy the one she picked. She wanted to only have one course she would stick with. But the fact that her life depends on what course she would take scared Y/N to the bones. She felt herself not wanting to graduate yet, to stop time and stay at the moment and be young forever away from the responsibilities of adulthood.

All of these worries clouded her mind until one Thursday night when her older sister called her, asking if she had set her mind on what course she would take. Her older sister lived overseas, in the US to be exact, working as a Physical Therapist in a public hospital. She lived with her husband and has been living there for a little over 3 years now.

“You should try Physical Therapy, if you want” Her sister suggested and Y/N gulped, remembering the times her sister did not sleep but studied all through out the night and asked

“But didn’t you say that course is difficult?” Y/N could practically hear her sister roll her eyes when she replied “All courses are difficult, Y/N. It’s just different if you enjoy what you’re doing”

“Is it nice, being a Physical Therapist?”

“It’s fulfilling” Her sister replied, her voice laced with the smile on her face “You get to help patients retain abilities they lost and watching them improve, is just so” She sighed

“So fulfilling” Y/N smiled, feeling proud of her sister “But Physical Therapy is more about physical. There’s another course that helps patients retain their abilities”

“What’s that?” Y/N probed, curious.

“Occupational Therapy, and it’s more like, when patients forget how to chew, you teach them how again. While mine is if they can’t walk anymore, you can help them slowly walk again”

After some more talking, Y/N was about to end the call when her sister stopped her and said “By the way, if you do end up wanting to study in the medical field, if you want, you can follow me here” Y/N felt a lump on her throat and her sister continued

“There are excellent universities here and I’ll be here to help you, my husband too. And I’m the one who’s gonna pay for your studies anyway so why not study here? We can be together again!” Her sister beamed and Y/N was unable to respond until she heard her sister call her name

“I-I’m gonna think about it” Y/N said and immediately ended the call, dropping her phone on her bed as she collapsed into her pillows. Y/N gulped, hesitant.

Going overseas to study is indeed, very very beneficial on her part as she would be able to get quality education. And she would be overseas and she would be able to see her sister after so many years. But, she wasn’t so sure about leaving her parents behind. About leaving her friends and her life behind.

Y/N was barely able to sleep that night, unsure about what she should do. She arrived late to class, her first time in her whole senior year. Fortunately, it was self study time so she wasn’t reprimanded that much.

Baekhyun noticed her out-of-it state and after the their teacher left the room, he scooted closer to her, asking “Hey, you okay? You seem to be distracted”

Y/N stared at Baekhyun, already missing him even though she hasn’t even decided if she would leave yet “Baekhyun-ah” She whined, putting her head on his shoulders, flustering the boy “Y-yeah?”

And so she told him everything, from her worries to what her sister proposed to her last night and her inner conflict of wanting to take her sister’s suggestion to wanting to stay. Baekhyun kept quiet the entire time, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer to him, afraid that she would disappear and he won’t remember what it felt like when she was with him.

“What do you think?” She asked, getting off his shoulder to look him in the eye. Baekhyun gulped, saddened though her decision wasn’t final yet.

“You should do what you want. It’s your life after all, so you should do what you think would be beneficial for you” He smiled, though it did not reach his eyes, his mind screaming ‘Stay’ 

Y/N nodded, focusing back to her books to study again. Baekhyun’s eyes did not leave her, already missing her. Baekhyun hated this, he hated that everyone is suddenly going away. He hated that even Y/N is gradually slipping away and he can’t stop it.

Their finals came and everyone studied, not speaking to anyone as they crammed, eyes flying like bullets through their notes as the minutes ticked by closer to the start of their exams. When finals officially started, hours passed by in a blur, their necks hanging low as they took in every question and answered it with what they think is right. As fast as the finals started, the end unknowingly came and the students rejoiced, ecstatic that their final high school examination is done.

Dismissal came quickly and students filed out their classrooms, flocking with their group of friends as they took off home or to wherever they decided to hang out. Baekhyun and Y/N walked together, chatting about how they’ve done and how relieved they are that they won’t be studying anymore for the meantime.

Baekhyun took a hold of their ice cream from the vendor and handed Y/N hers, thanking him in the process. They sat down on the table by the glass window, sitting across from each other as they ate their ice creams.

“So, have you decided yet?” Baekhyun asked cooly, though his eyes wavered, unsure if he was ready to hear her decision. Y/N didn’t fail to notice this and smiled, chuckling under her breath.

“Yeah...After some talking with my family, we came to an agreement” Baekhyun hummed in response, staring outside the shop, avoiding eye contact. Y/N smiled sadly “Baekhyun-ah...”

He hummed again, but did not look at her “Baekhyun” She called, sighing. Baekhyun sighed too, finally turning to look at her to see her sad eyes, his stomach dropping, already knowing the answer yet holding on to the thin line of hope that she would stay ‘Stay’ He thought as she began to speak

“I decided to go”

Baekhyun’s eyes began to water and seeing this made Y/N’s eyes water too “B-but...” He stammered, his voice cracking as he continued “C-can’t you stay?”

His voice was pleading and her heart broke when a tear fell down his cheeks. Y/N didn’t reply and Baekhyun harshly ate his ice cream then spoke again “I hate this”

“I fucking hate this” He repeated “I hate that everyone is suddenly going to who knows where and I-” He paused, wiping his cheeks as tears fell down his eyes “I hate that even you’re starting to get farther away” He sobbed.

Y/N transferred from her seat and sat beside Baekhyun, her ice cream forgotten as she enveloped him in a hug. Baekhyun set his ice cream down and hugged her back. He tightened his grip around her, not wanting to let her go.

“I’ll miss you” Y/N cracked, also hugging him tight. “We’ll still talk everyday, okay?” Y/N told him and he nodded, leaning away from her. He took her hand and held it, the both of them chuckling at their crying selves.

After taking Y/N home, Baekhyun dashed off to Chanyeol’s house, much to the latter’s surprise “Baekhyun?” Chanyeol asked, confused at Baekhyun’s sudden appearance after not talking for a while.

“You!” Baekhyun bellowed, stomping towards Chanyeol who backed away “W-what?”

“Y/N is-! Y/N is-!”

“Y/N is what?” Chanyeol asked, confused.

“Y/N is leaving” Baekhyun said, his voice sad as he took steps backwards away from Chanyeol “Leaving?”

“She’s going overseas to study after graduation” Baekhyun sat on Chanyeol’s bed, looking down. Chanyeol gulped, taking in the information.

“Her sister is taking Y/N with her so...” Baekhyun looked at Chanyeol “Are you still not going to talk to her?”

Chanyeol’s mouth hanged open, unable to reply. Baekhyun scoffed, standing up and left Chanyeol’s room. He had said enough and so he left Chanyeol to his thoughts, hoping that he would come to his senses and talk to Y/N.

The Monday after their finals came and it was the last week of their classes and after that, their graduation will be held. Y/N came in early and as usual, slept until their teacher came.

Chanyeol was startled to see Y/N, but moved on and sat on his seat, glancing at her every now and then, hesitant if he should approach her and ask about her going overseas. After some minutes of arguing with himself, Chanyeol stood up, a sudden surge of courage surging through his veins. Just as he was gonna walk towards her, the door opened and 4 of his classmates entered the room, startling him. Embarrassed, he exited the room and found himself walking towards Mi Soo’s section, sighing.

The next time he found a chance to approach Y/N was the next morning, and it was only him and Y/N again. Gulping, he walked towards her sleeping figure. He stood in front of her and tapped her shoulder causing her to stir awake. They froze when they made eye contact, Y/N’s mind going dizzy at his sudden presence.

Y/N was about to speak but Chanyeol suddenly turned away and exited the room, confusing Y/N “What the-?” Y/N exclaimed, her heart still beating uncontrollably, still surprised that Chanyeol approached her for the first time in months. Y/N told Baekhyun about this and the boy couldn’t stop smiling, shooting Chanyeol smiles throughout the day.

The next morning, Y/N stayed awake in case Chanyeol decide to finally talk to her. She felt giddy knowing that Chanyeol knew that she’s going away for college after Baekhyun told her that he told him. She felt happy that Chanyeol was trying to talk to her, wondering if maybe he still cared enough to ask her about it. She wondered if he miss her like she miss him. Y/N suddenly felt sad again at the thought.

Startled, Y/N turned around to look at the door open and revealed Chanyeol. They made eye contact and Chanyeol looked away awkwardly, clearing his throat at the process.

“Chanyeol” Her soft voice turned him to stone. Y/N stood up and walked towards Chanyeol who stood frozen on the ground.

“Chan- Chanyeol!” Chanyeol came to his senses and freaked out when he noticed Y/N walking towards him and surprised both of them as he ran away, opening the door and slamming it shut.

Y/N ran after him, opening the door but stopped at the hallway, screaming “PARK CHANYEOL YOU FUCKING COWARD!” Y/N huffed as she watched him run, turning to Mi Soo’s section.

Y/N ignored him for the next few days much to his relief, though he grew annoyed at himself for being the coward as Y/N had described him to be. Their last day came as fast as the weekend passed and finally, it was time to say goodbye, though they will still meet each other at their graduation. But nonetheless, they felt nostalgic as they reminisced the times they’ve spent in this school, the good and the bad, laughing about it as they let go of their past.

Baekhyun and Y/N gazed longingly at Chanyeol who stared back at them, beside him was Mi Soo with her friends. Mi Soo noticed Chanyeol and followed his gaze to found he was staring at Baekhyun and Y/N who has now looked away from him. Mi Soo clutched his arm “Chanyeo-”

“Let’s go” He smiled at her, cutting her off. Chanyeol bid goodbye to her friends and laced his hand with hers as he lead her away from her friends. Mi Soo glanced back at Baekhyun and Y/N to see them staring at them. Mi Soo looked away and gazed at Chanyeol, her heart trembling with guilt.

Y/N gazed dreamily at her batch mates in their graduation robes. Y/N looked down on her own and smiled, feeling nostalgic. It was just like yesterday when they were freshmen and now, it’s their last day to be together gathered like this.

Y/N turned to Baekhyun who rambled beside her, chatting aimlessly, trying to set his sad feelings aside and enjoy this day that was only a far imagination in their minds but has now come true.

Y/N smiled widely, thinking back to the first time she met Baekhyun. He was a sickly, thin and skinny loud boy that Y/N promised to never associate herself with, but funnily enough became her best friend. Together with the other boisterous tall boy, the three of them became inseparable. But years passed and people were bound to drift away and their three became two, though in their hearts they remained as three.

“For you” Baekhyun shyly said, giving Y/N a bouquet of flowers “Congrats”

Y/N bellowed in laughed “What the-?” She laughed and his cheeks turned pink “Stop laughing! Or I’ll get that back!”

“Okay! Okay! Sorry. Thank you” Y/N stopped laughing, though still grinning.

“How sweet” Y/N ruffled his hair, making Baekhyun huff out in embarrassment.

Their graduation ceremony was already done a few minutes ago and students flocked outside the ceremony hall, taking pictures together, refusing to part ways from each other.

Baekhyun dragged Y/N everywhere, taking pictures with only them and others, trying to stall time as later that night, Y/N would officially go overseas. Y/N and Baekhyun’s parents waited patiently, letting the two go around as much as they can together, knowing that they won’t be together for a long time.

Watching Y/N and Baekhyun, Chanyeol made a fist, his feet aching to go to his best friends, if they would still call him that. Beside him, Mi Soo watched him battle with himself. Sighing, Mi Soo took his hand, getting his attention.

“Go to them, Chan. Go” Chanyeol searched her eyes and she nodded, smiling at him softly. His eyes shined, taking Mi Soo in his arms, hugging her before running off.

Y/N jumped in surprise when she saw Chanyeol behind them, his hands on his knees as he breathed harshly “Chanyeol?”

“I-” He paused, taking a deep breath “I- umh” He stammered, his eyes locking with Y/N’s.

“Yes?” Baekhyun gazed intensely at Chanyeol, on edge.

“I-I heard you’re going away t-tonight?” Chanyeol asked, Baekhyun furrowing his eyebrows.

“Y-yeah” Y/N awkwardly replied. Chanyeol nodded, though it seemed more like to himself.

“H-have a safe trip” 

‘No, that’s not what you want to say, Chanyeol!’ He thought, but the words won’t come out of his mouth.

“Is that all?” Y/N asked timidly, looking at Chanyeol, hopeful. Chanyeol didn’t reply and Y/N sulked in disappointment, sending him a small smile before walking away.

Baekhyun took a step closer to Chanyeol and whispered “Why are you being like this? What are you so afraid of?”

Baekhyun was confused. He can see through Chanyeol’s eyes that there are words and feelings that just won’t come out of his mouth. Baekhyun was confused and irked. What was he afraid of? Why is he not speaking out his feelings? Why is he being like this?

When Chanyeol didn’t reply, Baekhyun shook his head, disappointment in his eyes. He turned away from Chanyeol and ran after Y/N, hooking his arm with hers. And the sight broke Chanyeol’s heart. But why? He did not understand.

“Y/N, it’s time to go” Her mother called, and instinctively, Baekhyun tightened his grip on Y/N’s arm. Y/N stopped and faced Baekhyun whose eyes screamed ‘Don’t go’ 

“Byun Baekhyun, good bye” She smiled sadly, tears starting to form in her eyes.

“Don’t go” Baekhyun voiced out. Y/N chuckled under her breath, wiping her eyes with her free hand

“I can’t do that Baekhyun-ah” She said, her voice sad. Baekhyun pulled her to him, hugging her with all her might. His eyes tearing up, wetting Y/N’s clothes. They heard someone clear their throat but they did not let go, knowing that this would be the last time they would see each other, at least for a while.

“Y/N...” She heard her mother trail off. Y/N pulled away from Baekhyun’s arms reluctantly, instantly feeling empty at the lack of proximity. Y/N chuckled, wiping Baekhyun’s eyes and cheeks “Don’t cry, Baekhyun-ah”

“But I’ll miss you” His voice cracked, holding both her hands “And you’re crying too!” They laughed, Baekhyun wiping away her tears.

“Let’s not cry, okay? We’ll still see each other, okay?” Y/N comforted, her eyes comforting Baekhyun’s sad ones. He nodded, pulling her for one last hug.

They pulled away, and Y/N began to walk away, their hands still in each others. Y/N glanced at him for the last time before letting go of his hand. She got on the car and Baekhyun felt himself panic that that was the last time he’d see her.

The car erupted to life and before it run and get further away from him, the window lowered and Y/N sent him a smile “I’ll call you later” And with that, the car left and for the first time in his whole life, Baekhyun had never felt so lonely.

[witchqueenofthemoon]

BODY AND SOUL Part 30 (Duncan Shepherd/Mackenzie Stone Millory AU)

BODY AND SOUL MASTERPOST

Author’s Note: I finished this chapter a few days ago but I’m hard at work on 31, hence me taking my time on getting it up. I appreciate my Duckenzies more than I can say, but it’s important for me to remind myself that this fic is, primarily, for me and my own fulfillment and happiness. I started it because I couldn’t find anything like it in the world and it was what I wanted to read. But don’t worry. I’m going to share everything with y’all to the end. I’m just really wrapped up in actually WORKING on it, you know? A reminder that this is Kenzie’s dress in this part, this is Duncan’s shirt. The first song Kenzie finds on the radio is Halsey’s HEAVEN IN HIDING, a song so wildly Duckenzie it took my breath the fuck away the first time I heard it, the second song is Halsey’s YOUNG GOD, which is also very Duckenzie. I decided to discard most of the canon scene from HOUSE OF CARDS where Duncan discusses his mother with Annette (mostly because I wanted Bill to be dead by the time they got back from the cabin); the only thing I really retained is her “from the moment I saw you...” dialogue. My!Duncan’s birth mother Valerie is a Connie Britton/Vivien Harmon AU, and rather than working for Annette as a cleaning lady (like the HoC canon), I made her a woman Annette only knew in passing. Duncan’s real father in my story is an unnamed Evan Peters/Tate AU. It was important to me to emphasize that Duncan hasn’t really changed as a person, rather the moral compass was in him all along and he’s chosen not to ignore it anymore. We all have a spectrum of morality in us, one that we choose from daily. Duncan’s soul is endlessly redeemable because his nature, like all of us, is determined by his choices. Annette calls her “Kenzie” for the first time in this chapter, and Duncan calls Madeline “Momby”; cue tears from me. I’m obsessed with the rose choker, so Duckenzie are obsessed with it too, and now it’s become an integral part of their sex life, more than any of their other toys. The young reporter who speaks to Kenzie is my own character; a bright young soul touched by the love she can see in Duckenzie, nothing more, nothing less (I may have thought of my sweet Diah @surprisebitchwrites a little bit for her, ngl). Kenzie and Duncan see the Triple Goddess this time because every time they fuck their sex is legitimately a holy act; sacred, and they’re waking up to that. If you’re reading this fic, please like and reblog the masterpost and the individual chapters--it helps people find my story because tumblr’s tags are so fucking broken and awful. Shout out to @goddess-of-inferno who has made not one but TWO Duckenzie moodboards over the past week, here and here. Jaz, you are an angel. When I finish the fic I’m going to make a masterpage for all the edits my Duckenzies have done for the fic, because I love and appreciate them all so fucking much and want any future Duckenzie fans to be able to find them. I love you all.

Duncan had gone downstairs to wake Rosemary a half hour later. Kenzie had been reading to him still for a little while, a story called The Rose Garden from the book of M.R. James ghost stories, and had been delighting over his squirms of discomfort.

“I love how easily you get scared,” she had murmured up to his mouth, and he gave her a look of affectionate annoyance, which softened immediately at her next words, “because you grab onto me and hold me so tightly and bury your face on me--” which Duncan proceeded to do, egged on, happy to please her. Kenzie had glanced over his shoulder to the clock on one of the laurel-adorned mantels a moment later, and noticed it was past midnight. The smell of the fire pit was still drifting inside, the night without darker than yesterday, the sky peppered with thick clouds. When Duncan had come back upstairs, Kenzie’s eyes on him half-lidded in sleep, he’d had a note clutched in one hand, written out on Shepherd-crest monogrammed note-paper.

“She’s gone, Kenz,” he’d whispered, reaching it out to her. Kenzie sat up, gazing down at it, a sudden sadness pressing on her. She could tell by Duncan’s eyes that he was too--we loved her immediately, entirely.

High Princess and Evening Star,

I’m needed back in New Orleans. The Goddess has new work for me to do (such is the life of her seers). I expect a wedding invitation. Come see me sometime on the bayou. I took the rest of that good blue-strain, Duncan. I’m sure you don’t mind.

Rosemary Antigone Delacroix

Below this she’d left an address on the Vieux Carre. “That’s a beautiful area,” Duncan said, sliding back onto the bed. “This gives us an excuse to go to New Orleans, anyhow.”

Kenzie was falling back into the pillow, her eyes drifting closed. She felt warm, tingling vibrations all over her body, as if she had been submerged in warm water for the second time that night; she felt the cloudy hand of sleep pressing down.

“Come here, Dunny, turn the light off,” she whispered, and she watched the shadows under her eyelids as he leaned to the lamp; then the room was dark and his arms were coming around her, his lips cupping against her cheek.

“I feel like we owe her a lot more than a quarter of an ounce of weed,” she whispered to him, aching with relief at the feeling of his large body enveloping hers.

“We definitely do,” he murmured into her ear, the soft tickle of his breath making Kenzie shiver and smile, burrowing down against him, his hand catching hold of her breast. “I wonder what she does for a living. Maybe she’d accept a position in the company.”

“Something tells me she’s probably not interested in corporate life...” Kenzie murmured, her words bleeding out into unintelligible mumbling. Before she drifted into a dream, she heard his reply.

“I don’t think I’m interested in corporate life anymore, either, Kenz.”

And then she was asleep.

In the dream she had, she was her other self. The one with white-gold hair that fell to her knees, and clothing made of fabrics that did not exist on earth, and she was staring out over a vast expanse of clouds in dusky colors that she couldn’t quite remember the names for--they were more iridescent, more obtuse, ever-changing, miraculous in their design. The colors of heaven. There were plants growing all around her, but she didn’t recognize any of them; they too were in colors that seemed too lovely to match anything she knew, in shapes that on earth would have been impossible, some in a soft gold that was more like an emotion than a tangible object.

Blessed one, she heard a voice call behind her; the language it spoke wasn’t English, but she knew what it said all the same--and she knew the voice, the sound of it like perfect nectar. Exalted of the pantheon of all beauty, all goodness, all brightness, all marvels. Please bless me. Look upon me, and give me your blessing. I have ached for you. My soul has been wracked with your multitude.

In the dream, she turned; her eyes, clear with a sight that no human could achieve, could make out every detail of that Duncan’s fair face, the marvelous strands of his golden hair, the piercing, eternal depth of his eyes. There was some kind of blade or long stick at his back; she could see the dip of it above the silvery circlet of leaves and tiny flowers around his head. Leaves made of silver; but, maybe not silver. That doesn’t look like any silver I’ve ever seen. It seems much softer. The blade pulsed with an bluish energy like fire, a force that flickered, seemed to shift between the place they were and another place. As blue as the nebulas in his eyes; for they are inextricably connected.

Flame of the Evening Star, she thought, and knew that’s what it was called; and that it was holy, gifted to him by Her, the triple-faced Goddess, The Fates, and that it protected him and it protected her, too, in this strange garden, and for that, Kenzie was infinitely grateful, her emotion deeper than the dream, further, consuming, immense. She knew I would love him. She wrote the Law so that I could always be with him--that never long would he suffer in my sight, that if taken by Darkness, as he was in That Other Place, when he became that dark self, Michael, as Rosemary called him, I would be able to save him still, my power greater, my will unshakable. My will to love him always; to redeem him, always. And so it is.

The dream, after that, she couldn’t remember when she woke; but she knew she was with him, in it, and that they were full of joy.

When she opened her eyes she knew it was early still from the light, and was glad for that; as lovely as it had been to sleep into the day yesterday in Duncan’s arms, she’d been sad to lose the time, sad to not be conscious of this wonderful place as long as she could be. Kenzie Lou, go get some flowers. Flowers for the bed at home, flowers for the housekeepers who work so hard, flowers for Momby, Clairebear, Candice, Samuel, Harris, Anchaly, and yes, flowers for Annette too, Annette whose heart is broken because you know, as Rosemary told you, that her brother is dead, ushering in the new world. Those flowers are special, the ones that grow inside the black oaks, and they are your blessing for the ones you love, flowers touched by the universe, as you are Duncan’s flower, bringing him your light. As the destiny of this world has shifted towards fortune, those flowers will signify the change.

Kenzie turned, sliding carefully out of Duncan’s arms, lips brushing his cheek. She wondered, sunlight dappling the bed as she watched him, if he’d had the same dream. I think so. I think we were together. It felt like we were, but I just can’t remember. She sat still on the sheets, breathing in and out, watching him; wanting to press her lips against his heart, the bump of his throat, the shivering delicacy of his eyelashes.

Soon to be my husband, but I feel like he already is. Getting married, having a wedding; that’s for our families, our friends. We’re already married, aren’t we? We have been for a very long time. We’ve been tied with an unbreakable bond for immeasurable time. Kenzie reached out, her fingers almost brushing his russet-caramel hair, but stopped, afraid to wake him, afraid to disturb the shrouded halo the sun was making along his forehead. She saw the silvery leaves and flowers there again--thought of the purple alyssum crushed under his curls.

If he woke when she was in the black oaks, she knew he would be able to find her if he looked for her. The way you found me at the Gala, with your mind. The thread between us. Your power, my power. Always together.

Kenzie slid out of the bed quietly and got dressed--slipped the little white mini dress over her head, cool against her flushed skin, clasping her rose quartz stone (love love love) around her neck and pulling on her hiking boots. She could feel the heat of the day strongly already, the scent of the fire’s ashes drifting in the morning air through the window--as they had slept Duncan had pushed the blanket off himself so it hovered right above his groin, his body turned to the side, the roundness of his ass just visible above the sheet. Kenzie looked down the incline of his body, the rise of his hip, the fine hair trailing down his abdomen from his belly button, the perfect jut of his sharp jaw, the fullness of his lips, open just a whisper. His stomach was virtually hairless, the tiny hairs on his chest barely visible from where she stood, and one of his arms drifted over the spot where she had been a moment ago, the other under her pillow. Like a painting, she thought again. Adonis in marble. Endymion sleeps, and I, the moon, busy with my task, watch him in longing. She thought of the desire he’d spoken of to her to commission a painting of them together. High Princess and Evening Star, she thought, and shivered despite the heat.

Kenzie made her way downstairs and to the kitchen--and a little later, she had an apple and a handful of blackberries in her hands as she used her elbow to open the sliding door. The smell of the fire pit’s ashes drifted over to her again, and she glanced to the lake. Wish we could stay forever, she thought again, its surface reflected blue from the clouded sky. The ducks were nowhere to be seen and the surface seemed like a sheet of some strange, unbroken alloy. Soft silver. Kenzie made her way down the path to the line of trees at the forest’s edge, stepping through them with a careful, quiet pace. Bill Shepherd is dead, she thought. Duncan is the heir to all of Shepherd Unlimited. Almost 20 billion dollars. I can’t even begin to fathom that much money.

She was at the bridge now; the day was rising, the light deepening, and the sun was beginning to burst over the edge of the world, dappling through the trees with insistent strength. I’ll come no matter what, it seemed to tell her. I’ll shine down on you and the one you love through everything, in every time, every age, every passing storm. As I am constant, so are you. So is every living thing. One day, when you return to Her, you’ll see. It’s never really the end.

The blackberries were wonderfully sweet on her tongue, and Kenzie felt awash in emotion--in the state of being alive at all. I always suspected, believed, that there were beautiful things in the world, things beyond description in their beauty, and she moved to the edge of the black oaks as she approached them, their immense, quiet trunks knowing, ancient, and present. She touched the craggy bark of the one closest to her, her hand stained with a smear of purplish juice, and Kenzie knew, in the deepest depth of her heart, that the Goddess was here; She is in everything. In the sun, the berries I ate, every star that exploded above us, the fire that Duncan made from the energy of his own body, and she made him, with his eyes like the depth of cerulean sky, the delicate mastery of his face, his hair like the softest leaves touched by the chilly winds of an autumn soon to come, and his hands, the epitome of the ecstasy of all human touch to me, the sweet-tempered truth of his heart, the physical proof of his goodness, to me--and when he touches me, I feel all his love flow through him into me, the tips of his fingers each an invocation of his love.

It’s time to write my book. I need to write it down. I need to find the words to describe what it’s like to be loved this way. There are more things we have to do, and she knew that with assurity, and those things have to do with the company, with having these tools now to cause serious change, but me--Goddess, I feel it--I have to write something. That’s what I’m supposed to do, by myself, with all the beautiful things that have happened, and all the beautiful things he’s said to me, the way he’s given his whole soul to me as I’ve given mine to him. I have to find the words. I have to try.

She stepped inside the circle, the flowers in their impossibly intricate spirals as ever (forever), their colors drifting into her hands, petals trailing through her fingers, the softest embrace, and it dawned on her, the way the sun was dawning on the land now, kissing the oaks good morning, the way the world was waking up. I have to do this. I have to make it clear that this love is possible. That not only is it possible, but that it exists in everything, and it will heal everything. That love can heal everything. That it’s the only thing. I have to share this love with the world. It won’t be diminished by the sharing. It never becomes smaller, it can’t. It only grows, and the more I speak of it, the more I take it into myself, the more I have to give to him, the more gold I have to give to everything. To everyone. In its immensity, unending, is the divine. Inside it is the universe.

Kenzie’s thoughts quieted, as if Duncan’s hands had come around her, as if Momby’s had, as if Claire was holding her in a quiet place when she had cried as a young girl. I feel You here. Three-faced. Soft as the summer rain. Quiet as the night wind. Vast as a thousand oceans. Your beauty terrible, like the storm. Your beauty moving beyond every flower, every green growing thing. Your beauty in everything. Your mercy in everything. Your eyes are the stars and they see every tiny thing. Your body, your sex is the plains and the forest, the mountains, the water, the face of the deep. You’ve always been with me--as you’ve always been with him. And now he’s awake to You. Now, he can see You, too. Love has opened his eyes. Oh, Goddess.

And Kenzie gathered flowers in her arms, the sweet alyssum, the goldenrod staining her fingers with yellow, the asters with centers like tiny starbursts, her hair dipping down in a wave of gold in the bursting sunrise. It dried her tears, soothed on her skin, and in that quiet place, hidden from everything in the world but the eyes of Fate, Kenzie wondered at the far-reaching hand of all meaning, at the winding path that had led her here, intricate and unshakable. She thought of The Youth of Bacchus, its revelers, their smooth bare skin, the joy of being alive, and knew the Goddess was in that, inside joy. She thought of Evening Mood, the Goddess there on the sea, and Star of Heaven, where the Goddess was in every bright sphere, of Athena, Dike, and Nike, in Duncan’s penthouse living room, three faces, three aspects, and so She’s been there with him all along, moving him to where I would be. And she thought of Duncan.

I love him.

----------

As Kenzie emerged from the line of the forest, her arms bursting with the wildflowers (and no matter how many I took there never seemed to be less, as if they grew again immediately as I plucked them), she saw Duncan coming towards her from the deck, two coffee cups in his hands. He saw her, and his smile threw crushed petals into her heart. Hi, baby.

They reached each other and he leaned to kiss her, the coffee and his woodsy smell falling down, the richness of the flowers drifting up. He was wearing the feathery shirt she had liked so much when she saw it hanging in his closet--it gave him a soft glow that melted at her heart. My soft Evening Star.

“You look so fucking lovely,” he breathed. “Persephone, marry me.”

She grinned. “I already said yes.”

“I’ll ask you every fucking day, I don’t care.” His eyes, the curving space of his mouth. She cocked her head towards the deck, moving ahead of him, the sun warm on her skin now, in the open air. Tingling in anticipation of his touch. She could feel the weight of him, the height of him coming up behind her as she laid the flowers out on the deck table, then turned to him and grasped one of the coffee cups from his hand.

“Thanks, baby,” she whispered, and leaned to kiss him again. A lock of his hair had fallen over his forehead, as was its way; she reached her fingers up to brush them against it, softly, and watched the way his eyes closed, almost involuntary, at her touch.

“My uncle’s dead. I had a dream this morning about him. He was in a boat on the lake,” here Duncan gestured to the calm water past the gazebo, yards off. ”He started at the shore, and as he drifted out into the water, he turned back to me where I was watching him from the dock. He didn’t say anything, but his eyes were--they were different. They were sad, and relieved. To die.” His eyes stayed closed--she could feel the muddled pain, relief, and confusion of his feelings. Kenzie’s hand drifted down his cheek.

“I know, baby. I feel it too. I think--I’m going to give Candice my resignation when we get back. I think--when I was in the circle this time, I felt--that it’s time. For me to write my book. And for us to change things. The way Rosemary said we’re meant to.”

“I think we have to go back today, Kenzie.”

“I know.”

“I’m sorry we couldn’t be here for longer. We can come back soon--we can bring Claire and Momby. We could go to the beach house again. We can go anywhere you want. But I think right now it’s--it’s time baby, you know?”

Kenzie reached up to hold his cheeks, heart aching.

“Baby, you don’t have to explain. I love you so much,” and she felt her lip trembling, her voice cracking, his expression falling into terrible tenderness as his arms came around her. “The time we had here was so beautiful--so beyond anything I could have imagined--”

And he was silencing her words with a kiss that she knew was another entreating plea; she could feel the warmth of it settling through her senses, the absolute constancy of him as his mouth savored her. Marry me, Miss Stone. Be my wife in this life. As you were long ago. As you’ve been for a thousand years. Oh, fuck. Baby. Angel. High Princess, goddess of my heart. How many times have I held you, and yet it’s never, ever enough. You are heaven in my arms. Marry me, Kenzie. I’ll build a shelter of flowers for you that will never die.

Yes I will yes, she thought, and their thoughts held each other, irrevocably, with a closeness that was almost unbearable to her senses; their souls holding each other, his fierce, beautiful blue lost inside the velvet hold of her gold, locking together with an intricate orchestration, a perfect harmony that was a outpouring of immense light, like a wound of exquisite pain, a colossal melding of time and space, of a moment, extended for them alone--

Yes I will yes my love yes I will my radiant love hold me in the flowering halo of your arms because I will yes I will I love you Duncan I love you like the rain like the stars like the roses that bloomed when I saw your soul for the first time I will so kiss me, kiss me, soul of my soul, body of my body, because yes, I will...

-----------

They’d gone out on the lake for a little while that morning before leaving.

A half hour before, over her coffee and buttery toast with a perfectly sliced grapefruit Duncan had brought her, Kenzie had divided the wildflowers into bunches; one for each of the people we love so much. She knew innately as she touched them, arranging them carefully, that they were not ordinary flowers; their power felt like an electrical current through her fingers. These flowers will be the fortune of the Goddess unto them. And they won’t die for a long time. I know that too. She gathered one bunch, lots of the purple alyssum with goldenrods in the center, especially to display in the penthouse. These will go over our bed among the roses and peonies. It will always remind us of when we found out about our true selves. When our eyes were opened to our destiny.

As she did this, Duncan had been weaving stray, tiny alyssums in pink, purple and white through the golden fall of her hair. He’d brushed it out in the sunlight for her, an achingly tender act that had made her want to cry, though she held the tears away. Hades opens, a blue flower of infinite depth, in the eyes of his Persephone. His thoughts drifted, full of the imagery of them as the Lord of the Underworld, the Goddess of Spring. Kenzie was moved again by how beautiful it was to be inside his mind; the loveliness of his inner world, the exquisite details of his imagination. Inside you I see the universe, Duncan. Inside you is every kind of beauty.

When they went on the lake in the little canoe, the sun dipped behind a cloud. Kenzie stared at Duncan as he rowed them out onto the water, the sinewy strength in his arms, the fall of his hair, the dip of skin below his open collar. Your soul is at peace here, your body relaxed, your mind beautiful with ease. She leaned back, knowing he was admiring her too, smiling at him. The water was drifting in small winds, but the canoe was surprisingly still. Or maybe it’s us, she thought across to him. Maybe we are the stillness. Our love the constant thing.

We are. To love you is to feel the greatness of the eye of the storm, Mackenzie Stone.

They hadn’t spoken in words out on the water, rather Kenzie had let the meandering patterns of her thoughts and feelings fall against him, and she felt his, reaching for his hand, the Cartier bracelet falling down her arm, their fingers twining with delicate, slow curiosity.

I know what to do, baby, he had thought. We’re going to change the production companies. We’re going to build gardens on the rooftops of every building the company owns, and buy land to preserve the forests and natural resources. We’re going to produce solar panels for every building in DC. We’re going to fund projects with the Foundation that will change the hearts of people who have been living in darkness, build protections for those living in need. It’s just the beginning. I have this incredible feeling; like we’re going to be able to do things no one has ever dreamed of. I’m going to go to Claire Underwood again and speak with her, Come with me. Talk to me with her. And I know...this time I can feel it...it’ll be different. She’ll see the sincerity in our hearts. And she’ll feel it too. We’re going to do this, Kenzie. It’s in motion. Oh, goddess. I feel it like a wave. It’s so much. It’s beautiful.

Kenzie had nodded, clutching his hand, looking into his sky-colored eyes, and she had known, too. Annette’s heart has changed--it’s changing--in light of our love, and the death of her brother, which has shaken her deeply. She loves you Duncan, and she, in her way, loves me now, too. She’ll find peace inside letting go of her need for control. And she’ll find family with us--a real family. One of real love. But first you have to go to her, baby. You have to go to her and talk to her, and forgive her.

Duncan looked at her, squinting against the sun peeking out from behind its cloudy bed; there were tears in his eyes, making them glisten like twin sapphires. I know you’re right, angel baby. And I will.

“I think it’s time for us to go back, baby,” he whispered, and Kenzie bit her lip at the resolute longing in his eyes. To have been alone with you this way has been the purest happiness for me. His thoughts were drifting in nostalgia; wishing to turn back the hours to their time under the stars, in the coppery tub last night, or dancing beside the fire, watching her swim in the lake on the dockside, fucking in the big, soft golden bed or in their holy circle of oaks, the way she read to him as he rubbed her feet. To be alone with you is my home.

“We’ll go live in the garden house all summer long next year, baby, for months,” Kenzie whispered, reaching for his other hand. She knelt in the boat’s shallow bottom, slowly, achingly, between his thighs, clutching his fingers tightly. Duncan brought his legs together, wrapping them around her, pulling her against him, his mouth falling against her chin. “We won’t come back until every autumn leaf falls and every flower in our garden dies. We’ll eat the fruits and vegetables we grow and I’ll put a hundred flowers in every room of the house--”

“Every flower reminds me of you, High Princess,” he murmured against her, and Kenzie shivered in the building heat. High Princess. That was me, once. Rosemary said it will be again someday. It’s beyond anything I could ever imagine. But it’s not a dream. I know, I know, I know it’s not a dream. Anymore than you are, beloved. “And even when we die we’ll be born again and find each other again--oh, god, Kenzie, baby--”

“I know, I know--”

It’s almost too beautiful to bear. You are. We are. This love moves beyond time; nothing can destroy us. Nothing can keep us apart. Oh, sweet beloved, dearest love.

His hands fell through her hair, his eyes gazing into her, and his mouth hovered close to her, brushing with unbearable softness at her nose, the slip of skin above her lips, the dip of her chin below--and then, finally, on her mouth, pulling her to crush against him, and his scent was the forest, the earth, the fire, blue, sweet smoke, tie us back together, keep me here against you always, in the hallowed place of your protection, my Evening Star, fairest of all the holy Princes. How my heart must have sung when first I beheld you, and knew you were forever mine.

--------

“I want to put Cupid and Psyche in the garden house when we find it, baby,” Kenzie murmured as she came up behind Duncan, who was loading their suitcases into the the G-Class with a careful heave. They’d gathered everything else into the rear trunk and the backseat. The afternoon was drawing hotly around them--she could see the thin sweat stain along the back of Duncan’s shirt--and Kenzie knew they wouldn’t get to the city until the light had begun to fall; the heat was at its zenith now, and they would drive through it back to DC. “Can we do that? I love it so much. The tiny flowers in Cupid’s hair...like you laying in the flowers in the circle--”

Duncan turned to her, grasping her tightly in his achingly warm hands, catching her lips in his hot, needy kiss--he tasted like some low, lustful fruit, his tongue sweet and demanding. And it makes me want you so fucking bad, he thought. It’s got magick too, magick from us and this place. Kiss me, angel. I beg you to please kiss me and never stop kissing me--but Kenzie was wriggling out of his grip, laughing. Gonna make you beg for it, you know how I can do that, you know how I can make you beg, fairest of all the holy Princes. Her skin was flushed and she shivered at his eyes, the way his body turned to her as she stepped away, his movements full of desperate desire.

Kenzie tried to ignore the look he gave her, the thoughts crashing against her out of his sky-kissed eyes, snatching her breath away (fuck me sweetness fuck me and choke me and put your little fingers in my mouth, press your honeyed clit into my mouth, the nectar of your flushed skin oh god this heat I wanna bend you over and fuck you fuck you fuck you beloved most beautiful of all my golden goddess loveliest in the eyes of heaven and my eyes let me worship you I pray) and pulled her little iPhone in its golden case out of her convertible bag, slung over her shoulder, sliding her round sunglasses over her eyes. Don’t look at me that way, and don’t think at me that way either, baby, behave. Fuck, stop, I can’t stand it. Her body was vibrating with him, the crimson-cerulean tide of his imaginings. Three hours in the car and I’m gonna think about how much I wanna fuck my baby the whole time, and he smiled at her, biting into his lip, bringing his hand up to his jaw to brush it there, distracted in her.

You are the most beautiful boy I have ever seen, but you bow to me, bow to me, bow to me, my sweet soon-to-be-husband, the fairest prince of heaven and you bow to me.

Duncan was stepping toward her again from where she had slipped away, his movements slow and deliberate, his sunglasses hanging lazily from his hand, the Cartier gold on his wrist glinting at her. He dipped his head down to her, hands drifting near her bare shoulders. She could feel him thinking about the rose choker, his eyes on her neck, about the sheer white lingerie, his mouth closed around her breast and the tulle, about the plug glittering in the low bedroom light, the glistening line of drool that had fallen from her mouth...

“I’m scared to turn this back on,” she whispered to him, looking down from him to her phone, blushing furiously, and his smile drifted from desire into wistfulness at that. His hand reached for hers, soft, comforting. “I wish we could just throw them away,” he replied.

Kenzie gripped his long pinky and ring finger in her fist, feeling the blue of him, his thoughts. Me too, angel baby. I don’t want to go back. I wanna run away with you. Back in time, to that place where we were together for eons, in perfect love and happiness. Oh, goddess. I can’t begin to imagine how beautiful it was. He hesitated, hand coming up through his hair--then his words drifted against her in the heat, their sweetness cooling her skin.

“I know, baby. I wish we could just stay here and hide from the world forever. It was so short. I’m sorry for that. I wanted--wanted it to be longer. But it was perfect, wasn’t it? It was like our day at the beach. It’s a perfect memory now.”

“Everything with you is a perfect memory,” Kenzie lifted her chin, keeping her head perfectly still as Duncan brushed her hair from her shoulder, and for a little while they stood there in the graveled drive of the cabin’s entryway, the heat a heavy, silent cocoon; Kenzie thought of Rosemary, arriving in her glorious violet aura, the lake and the stars, the oak circle, the magic in their fingertips. And of Duncan--Sword of the Evening Star, divine too, baby--and tried to fathom the depth of everything they’d experienced since that night, just a few short weeks ago, when she glimpsed him staring at her with a burning fire in his ocean-colored eyes, had let him, infamous, handsome heir to a billion-dollar company, buy her an old fashioned on a rosy balcony. But that was Fate, she knew now. Nothing so beautiful could be luck. Nothing so perfect, so right, could be chance. You were ever mine.

The moment broke apart, fragmented, as a breeze fell over Duncan’s hair and he blinked it away, bringing her out of his eyes, back into the heat. She heard a loon out on the lake somewhere again; a farewell call to them; until we meet again on this other side of time.

“I think it’s time to go,” he said softly. And she knew he was right. Goddess speed us on, help us know what is best, most right. I can feel you with me now. I can feel the halo you gave me so long ago, the one Duncan can see sometimes. I know you’re there now. I can feel You.

She nodded to him. “Let’s go, baby.” Let’s go save the world. Let’s get married, surrounded by a thousand flowers. Let’s go talk to the president and change the company and people’s hearts and scatter this light on everything, a thousand stars tossed over the whole world.

Duncan stepped to the passenger’s side, opening the door for her and grasping her hand tightly for a moment, eyes burning (I know you feel Her too now, that holy sword you once held), helping her inside. He shut the door behind her and Kenzie sat in the silence for a breath as he walked around to the other side; she let the breath out as he got into the driver’s seat, his sunglasses on his nose now, and hit the power button on the side of her phone as he clicked his seatbelt into place, glancing over to her.

“Duncan. I have the weirdest feeling. Rosemary said when we got back the world would be...different.”

“I feel it too, Kenz. Like an earthquake in the air.” Duncan hit the smart key and the G-Class roared into smooth life, the air conditioner blasting immediately into Kenzie’s face, cooling her hot cheeks. He reversed the SUV as she squinted in apprehension down at her phone screen--the apple logo flashed there for a long moment--then her lock screen came up, Duncan’s face in the silver circlet from the Esquire shoot turned up to her. She hesitated for a moment, her finger hovering over the home button; then she looked up, flipping the knob on the stereo as Duncan accelerated the car on the long gravel driveway towards Lakeside Trail. She flipped through the Sirius XM channels for a moment, then stopped at one called Venus as she heard a soothing electronic melody bleeding into a rhythmic beat and an elegant feminine voice singing out eagerly--

Sitting on the counter in your kitchen, can you hear my heartbeat, fuckin’ kickin’, your eyes light up cuz you best believe that I got somethin’ up my sleeve, I walk my talk no time for wishful thinkin’

Sounds familiar, Kenzie thought, glancing to Duncan; he looked back at her, his long hands drifting easily on the steering wheel, and though she couldn’t see his eyes clearly from behind his dark Yves sunglasses, she saw the heady loveliness of his smile and could feel his agreement. Remember that? Let’s do that again, baby love. Let’s fuck on the counter again, divine angel.

Kenzie grinned, bringing her hand up to cover her teeth, biting into her palm. Fuck. We should. Why don’t you lean me over that smooth, achingly black obsidian at home and fuck me senseless, Evening Star. We haven’t done that yet. She could smell the dozens of bunches of wildflowers in the backseat cascading forward, the one bunch of roses tucked in among them; the roses had already begun to fade, but Kenzie knew they’d hang with the others over their bed. Our altar. Where we worship each other endlessly.

And when you start to feel the rush, a crimson headache, aching blush, and you surrender to the touch you’ll know, I can put on a show, I can put on a show--

She giggled to hear his groan; his hand drifted over to her thigh, riding up the tiny white dress as she went back to her phone, her heart aching between her breasts, the space between her legs tingling. She raised her phone to her eyes again--

Don’t you see what you’re finding, this is heaven in hiding

--but now Kenzie saw, heart leaping into her mouth, the long line of text messages that had popped up on the lock screen. Oh, fuck. We must have been out of range for a minute. She thumbed her password in (her birthday, 0717), whispering under her breath. “Fuck fuck fuck.”

“Kenz, what’s wrong?”

“Just--a shitload of texts. Claire. And Momby. And Candice. Annette. Fuck.”

Duncan let out a little groan. “I’m about to just throw my phone out the window and not bother, Kenz.”

Kenzie opened a string of texts from Clairebear. The first was from two nights ago, when Kenzie had texted her before the Gala. The music pounded in her ears as she read it. Oh this is heaven in hiding, this is heaven in hiding, ‘cause I’m heaven in hiding

Clairebear: Kenzie Lou, you both look so GODDAMN BEAUTIFUL, I’m fucking crying. I just saw the photo you took now because alkgdlghflgdlsg Harris stayed over last night. OH MY GOD KENZIE OH MY GODDDDD

Kenzie grinned at this. “Well, some good news,” she said to Duncan, who glanced at her, raising his eyebrows as they drifted onto the highway, the lake, dappled in the sun, disappearing past Kenzie’s window. “Claire and Harris are officially a Thing.”

“Fuck,” he laughed a little, “that is good news. I love that.”

Kenzie looked back down at her phone. There were several texts after, each with a sort of increasingly manic energy.

Clairebear: God he’s so hot and so tall and so gentle? I guess you probably don’t want too many of the gory details about your bodyguard but HE IS TALL I WILL SAY THAT AGAIN (Kenzie snorted into her hand) and we went to this lovely jazz place and god I love his smile??? Anyway, we’re gonna go out again this coming weekend but that seems so far away, fuck! UGHHHH KENZIEEEEEE

The next one came from a few hours later.

Clairebear: Okay I know you said y’all are kinda going off the grid for a few days so I don’t know when you’ll see this but people are freaking the FUCK out over your Gala photo on Instagram, you have 2.4 million likes??? I checked the number like ten times because that just seemed like a typo to me. But no, you have 2.4 million likes.

An hour later.

Clairebear: Gala press photographer photos went up a few hours ago and you two are on the front page of like literally every fashion website including Vogue.com holy FUCK!!!

Claire had included a link. Kenzie clicked it. The headline read: DUNCAN SHEPHERD AND PARAMOUR MACKENZIE STONE STUN IN DRAMATIC MORGAN WINTHROP GOLD COUTURE FOR SHEPHERD FOUNDATION GALA IN FIRST PUBLIC EVENT TOGETHER. 

Below it was a photo that stole the breath from Kenzie’s lungs: she and Duncan were gazing at each other in it, away from the camera, his head dipped down to her, her chin angled up to him, and the radiant happiness that emanated from both of them in it instantly brought tears to Kenzie’s eyes. Kenzie’s hair fell from her shoulders in a cascade of roses and gold (like a fairy tale, fuck me, Hannah really made it look incredible); her dress shimmered with soft, opulent beauty, perfectly tailored to her small frame, the gold Cartier necklace glinting at her throat. Her expression was soft, joyful, dazed. I look...I look really fucking lovely. That’s me, fuck. That’s me. I look beautiful. Duncan was strikingly tall next to her, his soft curls falling on his forehead, his eyes dark with dramatic shadow, the masculine beauty of his profile clearly outlined. His elegant hands were dipped down to her waist, holding her with tenderness so obvious it made Kenzie feel faint to look at it. The soft painted gold of his blazer was beautifully illuminated. The expression on his face, in his intoxicating eyes, the overjoyed smile playing at his mouth, dug a sharp knife into her heart, through the softest part of her soul; anyone who looked at this would know immediately how much he loves me. Oh my fucking goddess. He looks at ME this way. Only at me. Like I’m the sun. The moon. And every star. The Cartier bracelets on their wrists were visible; she could clearly see the diamonds on hers, same as the bracelet she wore now, scattering a line of stars along her skin there. Everyone who looks at this will notice them too. They’re very distinct, aren’t they; you can tell they’re two parts of one idea--one promise. Me and you, baby.

“Baby, oh my god,” she breathed. “You have to look.”

Duncan jerked the steering wheel smoothly to the right, bringing the G-Class onto the shoulder of the highway, several cars passing them. It drifted to a stop as she leaned over to him, holding her phone up. Duncan slipped his sunglasses down his nose, gazing at it; then he gently pulled her phone out of her hand, his eyes widening. The moment extended--Duncan continued to look at it raptly, his expression going soft and slack in a way that made the tiny hairs on Kenzie’s arms stand up. Then he turned to her, sliding his glasses all the way off now, clutching them in his hand.

“Oh Kenz,” he whispered. “Baby.”

You can see it in this. Us. Our High Destiny.

Kenzie bit into her lip; don’t cry, Kenzie. Don’t cry. Not now. But oh, fuck. Fuck, I love you so much, Duncan. My Evening Star. Your beautiful soul here, so obvious, so brilliant, so sincere, all your gentleness that you’ve hidden for so long, bursting out of you like a thousand colors. I could just die. She reached for him; he pulled her over the center between their seats, crushing her into his arms, his nose and mouth falling into the small space of her neck, her hands clutching together in the warm nook of his chest.

“I love you,” he whispered, his breath shaking on her, his words shivering inside the emotion. “Kenzie. I love you.” There was nothing else he could say--she could feel the tangle of him, the overwhelming wave that rose inside him, fell against her; she gasped at it, its immensity, its warmth, its weight.

To be loved by you is to behold the multitude, and yet to be unafraid of it.

“And I love you,” she whispered against him, and then she gently pushed away from him, bringing her hand up to his cheek to cup it, nodding at him soothingly; his eyes were liquid around a blue ring of fire, and their burning shook her soul and scattered it apart. “I will always love you, Duncan Shepherd. You are the home of my heart. Let’s keep going, baby. We have so much to do now. So much to do. And you need to comfort your mother.”

Duncan took a shuddering breath, clutching onto her hand with a grip that seemed to drain all the blood from her fingers; then he softened his hold on her and slipped the sunglasses back over his eyes, gently sliding her phone back into her palm with reverent hands. Kenzie turned back to it, sending a soothing golden burst over him, as though she were scattering dust against him. Duncan gently pressed the gas pedal, and the G-Class glided back to the road.

Kenzie scrolled down through the article; there were a dozen other photos of them, each one seemingly more lovely than the last; one of them laughing together that made Kenzie grin widely and reach for Duncan’s hand--he gripped her fingers strongly again, his sunglasses shielding the moisture she knew lingered around his eyes. In another Kenzie’s head was turned to the side, probably at a photographer’s behest; Duncan stared at her with adoring awe. In yet another Duncan stared out, forwards, at the camera--and in this one, I’m the one who’s starry-eyed. She looked at herself, her own expression of exquisite adoration. So what. It’s true. I love him...so fucking much. As though it simply can’t be contained inside me--as if it’s everything and everywhere and touches everyone. I’d die for him. My dark blue Evening Star. My Hades, Prince of sweet shadows that I would drown inside of if he willed it. My sweet Endymion, flawless in sleep. My Eros whispering his flowery worship in my ear. The blood of my body, breath in my lungs. She saved several, immediately making the one of them gazing at each other her lock screen--when you’re away I’ll look at this picture and know you are mine for all time, and she tried not to gasp again inside the emotion of it.

“Baby, it’s okay,” Duncan was whispering, his fingers drifting on her hand, eyes on the road. She knew he could feel her, the wild emotion bubbling in her.

“Yes,” she whispered. “More than okay.” She opened the Instagram app, fingers shaking, blowing a breath out in a steady stream. @kenzielouwho. 15 million followers.

No fucking way. No no no fucking way.

“Dunny.”

“Yes, Kenzie.”

“I have 15 million followers on Instagram now...how is that even possible?”

“What.” Duncan jerked the steering wheel in shock, then slid it back quickly to straighten the G-Class. “Fuck.”

“People must--they can feel it. Oh god, Rosemary wasn’t kidding. Remember she said--she said the world would have changed when we got back. I think this is what she meant. That some people would be able to see it; see what’s been hiding inside us. The divinity of us and--who we used to be. In a small way, I think some people can see it now. Those pictures. Her telling us. It’s like it stirred up something in the air.”

“I can fucking see it in those pictures. And it’s me. That’s us.” Another song playing low on the radio now echoed the thoughts whirling in Kenzie’s mind, uncanny, thrilling around her nerves, making her scalp tingle

But do you feel like a young god, you know the two of us are just young gods, and we’ll be flying through the streets with the people underneath and they’ll be running, running, running

That’s it. I’m going to post one. If it can help us with what we need to do--and I feel like it will--I’ll post some photos from the Gala. Kenzie added three of the photos she’d saved from Vogue (the two of them staring at each other, Duncan staring at her while she looked to the side, and her gazing at him with the adoring expression) and added a caption.

It was such a magical night to be with the person I love the most in the universe in @morganwinthrop’s extraordinarily beautiful creations. @duncanshepherd and I have some major announcements coming soon. A special thank you to DUCKENZIEFANS.com and the warmth and love you’ve shown us. With all of you helping us, we will change the world in no time.

Kenzie took a deep breath and hit Share. Then she went to Duncan’s profile. Claire hadn’t been kidding; “the photo you posted of us on the night of the Gala has...over 5 million likes, Duncan. And your profile has 18 million followers.”

“This is insane.” Kenzie noted the worried expression that had creased his face under his glasses now.

“Duncan, we have to just...trust. Trust that this is what is meant to happen. This is all part of it. I--I feel it.”

“We’re going to need a bigger entourage. God, I’ve tried to avoid that for so long. But now that Bill’s dead, there won’t be as much of a buffer between us and the paps. I don’t think Harris is going to be enough.”

Kenzie leaned her elbow on the window’s edge, staring out on the highway.

“Okay. If that’s what we have to do, that’s what we have to do. I’m not going to hide in the penthouse, that’s for sure. People want to see us--if that’s what the Goddess means for us to do, I’m ready.” Kenzie looked back at her phone, feeling a bubbling anxiety from Duncan now. There were more texts from Claire, bleeding into yesterday and then this morning.

Clairebear: Kenzie, this is INSANE.

Seven links followed her text; each one a different piece about their Gala looks from major online fashion and news publications. The articles had a wildly adoring edge to them that made Kenzie’s stomach churn with knots. People can SEE us. It’s sort of frightening--to have this sort of power over other people. I feel so strange. Every article seemed to note the “mysterious” way they disappeared from the event after the photos were taken.

From GQ she read: “Duckenzie whisked through the press area as though they were the ethereal incarnations of a fae king and queen--Oberon and Titania come to strike into the hearts of us poor mortals with gnawing desire--then seemed to disappear into the night, their absence noted almost as quickly as their presence. They did not appear to bless the mortals of earth again at the after party, to our deep dismay. Like Hades and Persephone descending back into the Underworld at the breaking of autumn, it was as though a chill fell on the evening without them, the full moon doubtless gazing down on them in some secluded, secret place of infinite romance the world could not penetrate. Needless to say, to see them again on any red carpet will be a blessing, wherever and whenever it happens. For now, we bask in the beauty of the shots the press pool managed to snatch, like precious raindrops from heaven; good god, wish someone would look at US like that.”

From yesterday, Clairebear: Kenzie, media people are FREAKING OUT wondering where y’all have gone. It’s like you blew some kind of insanity dust on everyone at the Gala and now everyone is HUNGRY for you two. Hope everything’s going okay off the grid, but I’m worried about you, so text me back when you can.

Two hours later, Clairebear: Holy fuck, Kenzie. Bill Shepherd died. Are you two aware? Call me when you can.

Later that day: Clairebear: Vanity Fair just dropped their editorial about you and Duncan and Annette on their website like two weeks in advance of their original publishing date. People are losing their minds over these photos.

This text included a link to the article; as Kenzie opened it, she was shocked--at the top, rather than the photo of them with Annette, was one of the photos of her and Duncan Anna had taken of them by the bourbon roses. Fuck. Kenzie’s head lay gently against Duncan’s tall form, his arms enveloping her in the lacy red dress, her lips dark, eyes liquid and huge. Kenzie couldn’t tell if it was some filter on the photo, but Duncan’s eyes were wildly, beautifully blue, illuminated, and hers seemed lit from within with some kind of lingering golden-green. Both of them stared into the camera, defiant. The photo was a shock of beauty, their tenderness in it like a painting or some heavenly sculpture, but too real, too lovely and earnest; like the Gala photos, you can see all our love in this--you can see our strangeness, too, the other, hidden part of us. It’s mesmerizing. Kenzie saved the photo. This is the one. We should hang this one in the penthouse. It makes my heart ache. It’s us. It’s our Destiny, as though it’s written on our faces here.

And the title of the piece: THE YOUNG ROYALS: Duncan Shepherd and Mackenzie Stone take Shepherd Unlimited to Heavenly New Heights.

“They put the Vanity Fair article up already, Dunny. Two weeks early, I guess, after the news that your uncle passed away yesterday. The Young Royals, they called it.”

Duncan laughed, surprising her. “What? Really? The Young Royals?”

Kenzie nodded. “The photo at the top is one of the two of us, too. Not the one with Annette.”

“Holy shit,” he murmured, glancing over at her. They see it too. Everyone can see it. It’s like a veil was pulled back. “She’s gonna be pissed about that.”

“Something tells me that’s not really going to matter very much from the way the press and everyone online seem to be reacting,” Kenzie said, leaning a hand over to his thigh. He glanced at her again, his smile deep, his affection strongly brushing against her. Keep your hand there, my love.

Baby, I gotta check these messages. There are a LOT.

Who cares. Touch me. I love you.

I will soon, baby. I will. Just be patient.

Kenzie turned back to her phone, sliding her hand away from him reluctantly. One more from Claire, sent this morning.

Clairebear: Fuck, Kenzie, PLEASE text or call me when you get a chance. I think you need to hire a PR person--I’ve started to get incessant calls and emails from people who want to interview me about you, it’s so surreal. Please please please send me a message when you get a chance to let me know you’re okay. All the stuff online is making me so fucking nervous for you. When are you coming back?

Kenzie typed now. Clairebear, we’re on our way back from the lake right now. I had my phone off the past two days, but an unexpected visitor told us about Bill Shepherd. I love you so much. I can’t tell you how happy the news about you and Harris is to me!!! I’ll try to call you later on.

She moved on to the texts from Momby. There were two; one from yesterday, one from today.

Mom: I’m aware you told me there was a chance you’d be unreachable for a few days; so of course that’s when Bill Shepherd decided to kick the bucket. Please give Duncan my condolences and pass along my love to him. But I can’t say I’m particularly sorry to see Bill Shepherd in the ground, and I doubt Duncan is either. I know this is a strange request, but if you can get Annette to come along to my place when we have taco/margarita night when the two of you get back, I would like that very much.

And the one from yesterday.

Mom: Sweet Kenzie Lou, please call me when you see this. The media frenzy happening right now over the two of you is, frankly, alarmingly far beyond anything even I could have imagined, and I can imagine A LOT. I’m concerned about your personal safety. I don’t think you should be going to One Franklin Square anymore without a more extensive security detail.

Kenzie immediately hit the call button in her mother’s contact, turning on the speakerphone so Duncan could hear, turning the stereo down so the music was very low. The phone rang three times; in the middle of the third, Madeline picked up.

“Mackenzie?”

“Hey, Momby. We just saw your messages. My phone’s been off since we left the Gala. Duncan’s here.”

Duncan turned his face toward Kenzie’s iPhone. “Hey, Madeline.”

“Mackenzie Louise, you picked a hell of a time to keep your phone shut off for two days. Ever since they released those photos from the Gala it’s like everyone’s lost their minds. I can see why everyone loves them so much--you look so beautiful in them, both of you, they almost don’t seem real--it’s--odd…” Madeline trailed off, suddenly at a loss for words, it seemed.

“Momby, I’m really sorry you were worried. We really needed some time to ourselves. But we’re on our way back now and--”

“Momby.”

Kenzie’s heart flew into her mouth as Duncan broke in, her beloved nickname for her mother falling from his tongue. The instant sweetness of it made her stomach drop.

“Duncan.” Madeline’s voice was suddenly breathless. “Is that you?”

“Yeah, Momby. It’s me. We want to tell you something. I asked Kenzie to marry me.”

The other end of the phone was silent for a long moment--Kenzie could almost see the shape of her mother’s surprise, the warm flood of her wordless sentiment in the air, despite the distance between them. We’re a long way from you scolding me in the kitchen over the spaghetti pot, aren’t we, Momby. You can see it too. How lovely he is--what was hidden is now on the surface. His gentleness, his sweetness, his goodness, all coming out now, extending out of him like a tidal wave. Momby, I know--isn’t it beautiful? Isn’t he?

Then Madeline finally spoke. “Well? And?”

“I said yes, Momby. Of course I said yes.” Kenzie’s voice tinged with tears, but she was laughing, too. Duncan reached his hand for her, pressing his long fingers into her cheek, hungry for the warmth of her; she could feel it in his touch. His smile was too much; the tears drifted from her eyes. Duncan brought his thumb up to brush them away, his eyes skirting back and forth from the road.

“Well of course you fucking did. Or he wouldn’t be calling me Momby, would he.”

“...Can I call you that, Madeline?”

“Baby, Duncan, you already did. I am your Momby, so why wouldn’t you?”

Duncan fell silent at that; his glasses were still shielding his eyes, but Kenzie felt them burning on her; could feel the tears in them.

“We love you, Momby,” she said quietly.

“As I love both of you. With all of my heart. To the moon and back.”

For a moment, Kenzie contemplated trying to describe any of what Rosemary had told them to her mother; she looked at Duncan, who glanced at her a few times, back and forth from the road. She felt him in her mind; I don’t know, baby. We could try. I wouldn’t even know where to start.

I don’t think so, baby, she thought her reply into him, shimmering and golden. I think maybe it was only for us to know for now. I think maybe it’s a secret we’ll have to keep between us for awhile--maybe for a long time.

I think maybe you’re right, my beautiful Kenzie. I feel like I wouldn’t have words for it anyway. I feel like it’s unspeakable now that Rosemary isn’t here. For now it’s only for us; just me and you. That old life we had in that perfect place. And the one we’ll have again someday, far, far away, in another life.

“So what’s all this about the media and a security detail?” Kenzie spoke in an even voice into her phone again, despite the remnants of tears still on her face. She didn’t want Momby to worry more than she already had.

“I don’t know if either of you have had a chance to look at the internet after your sabbatical, but it seems like all anyone has talked about for two days on every major social media platform is the two of you. First with the Gala photos, and now the ones from Vanity Fair--which are just as beautiful. Something about them really is very uncanny...almost...otherworldly. I’m finding it difficult to describe how they make me feel. You’re my own daughter, Kenzie Lou, and yet I’m really struck by them, too. I guess it’s everything the two of you have been through lately...maybe...but you can really see how much you love each other in them. Even Annette should be able to see it. I can’t imagine not seeing...whatever it is. How bright you both are.”

“Oh, Momby.”

“I agree about a more serious security detail, Momby,” Duncan said, cocking his head towards Kenzie’s phone without looking away from the road. “I’ll be contacting the service later today and requesting additional bodyguards for Kenzie.”

“More bodyguards?” Kenzie balked.

Duncan winced at her a little. “And I think it’s time--I think I’m going to have to finally get one too. Probably more than one.”

“He’s right, Kenzie Lou. May I remind you, you’re going to be a permanent billionaire now.”

Kenzie ignored the last part, her stomach flipping again. “Well--I mean, I did see some of the media stuff. Claire sent me some. Vogue and GQ and a few others.” Kenzie felt too hot, clammy sweat suddenly on her skin. I may be some cosmic space princess, and I know that’s true, but right now I feel horribly human again.

“Kenzie, it’s every major online entertainment publication, and the front page of every paper on the east coast this morning, alongside the news of Bill’s passing. I can’t explain it, but there’s something about those photos of you two. They really--resonated. As far as the public is concerned, you’re the new American royal couple right now. Think Prince William and Kate, but your palace is the penthouse. You know that website, DUCKENZIEFANS.com? They hit a million subscribers yesterday.”

What.

“Madeline, can we do margarita night tomorrow?” Duncan was trying to veer the subject away from the media, Kenzie could feel it. He was on I-70 now; they were halfway home. Wow, we’re making good time. “Oh, also, Claire and Harris, Kenzie’s bodyguard, are officially an item. Can we invite him? I’m so curious to see them together.”

“No kidding,” and Kenzie could hear her mother’s delighted laughter now through the phone. “That’s fucking wonderful. Since I haven’t met him yet, that’s the perfect opportunity. Tomorrow is great. Be careful when you get back. All of DC has been keeping its eyes peeled for you two.”

“We will, Madeline. When we see you I want to talk about our plan moving forward with the company; especially about the new board, which is going to be comprised of all women--women you and Kenzie decide on. I’ll make sure Annette is there. It’s long past time to bury the hatchet between you two, I agree entirely.”

“Guess you knew my thoughts there without me having to say them,” Madeline joked.

He knows mine, Momby, Kenzie thought. He really does know mine. Someday I’ll tell you all about it.

“See you tomorrow night, my moon babies. Be safe. I love you both so very, very much.”

And with that, Madeline hung up before they could reply to her. Kenzie knew, innately, that her mother had felt a sudden urge to cry--and wanted to be alone to do it. Oh, Momby. Kenzie sighed, deeply. Her mind was racing, and yet there was an underlying calm in her that she knew she hadn’t had prior to the past few days.

“I feel like a door inside me’s been opened, Duncan,” she said, softly, going back into her text messages. “Like it’s letting in all this calm strength, and pushing out all the fear I felt before. You know?”

“I know, baby. I know. I feel the same way. Did you get any other messages?”

“One from Candice. She says Ben wants to publish the article he wrote about you now that Bill’s passed, and he’s waiting on your permission. That doesn’t surprise me. He was so anxious to interview you in the first place.”

“Tell her I said yes.”

“Really? Are you sure?”

“Yes, Kenzie. Yes. It’s time. I know you feel it. It’s like everything’s--fuck, I dunno--on a conveyor belt now. Everything’s pushing us forward. I feel like we’re making impossibly good time getting back, even. It seems like we’ve only been driving for an hour or so, but we only have twenty minutes to go to be back in DC, according to the GPS.”

“Really?” Kenzie squinted at it. “Maybe it’s broken.”

“I don’t think so, Kenz. I think it’s--you know. Us. Her. Magick.”

“I think maybe, eventually, we’ll be able to tell a few people about it. Claire. Momby. About our powers, I mean. The people we’re close to. The people we love.”

“I think so, too,” Duncan said quietly.

“But it’s not time yet.”

“I think so. Not yet.”

The calmness I feel from you right now, Kenzie thought, her breath shuddering in her throat, is so beautiful. It’s making me want cry. It feels like you’re holding me.

I am, Kenzie. I’m always holding you. In my mind. In my senses. In my soul. Always. His fingers reached for her again, settling warm and reassuring, on her thigh.

“I love your hands so much,” Kenzie murmured, threading her fingers into his. “I have since the first moment I saw them. I knew I’d love the way you touched me. And I do. I do so much. I love you so much.”

She heard the emotion in his throat as he breathed in, the tears from Madeline’s photo call still evident. “I love you, too. Can you get my phone out of my pocket, Kenz? I think I need to call Annette.” He nodded at the front pocket of the black chinos he was wearing. Kenzie reached her hand into it; Duncan shifted a little to ease the phone out. She brought it into her lap, loving its large, smooth feel in her hand; I love it because it’s yours. She hit the side power button--as the apple logo flashed, she looked at her own phone one more time, at the last unread text on her phone, from Annette.

Annette: Mackenzie, it’s Annette. Can you please ask Duncan to call me when he can? His uncle has passed away. I know he’s very upset with me, but we need to discuss the transfer of the majority share to his name. Bill signed his official Will before he died. Duncan is now the primary owner of Shepherd Unlimited LLC. I love you both. I wish I could have spoken to you at the Gala. You both looked so lovely. The photos of you together moved me very deeply. Please contact me. I’m so deeply sorry.

I love you both. Kenzie read the line again and again. I love you both. I’m so deeply sorry. Rosemary’s words resounded against it in her mind. The world will have changed, will have changed, changed.

And Rosemary meant this too, she knew. Annette’s heart has changed, too.

Duncan’s phone had restarted now; Kenzie made a little involuntary sound of affection in the back of her throat when she saw his lock screen. It was the picture he’d taken of her in the Led Zeppelin shirt, her hair damp, eyes gazing down in serene affection to her sedum morganianum. The first picture he posted of me on his Instagram, she thought. Only a few short weeks ago, but it feels like it’s been ages. Because it has. For us, it’s been forever and always.

“Nice background, baby,” she grinned at him.

“I think so,” and his smile was so sweet and beautiful her heart clenched again. “It’s my favorite picture of you. My baby and her plant baby.” He echoed the caption he’d written for it.

“Annette texted me, too. She said--she said she loves both of us. That she’s...deeply sorry.”

Duncan was quiet for a long moment, eyes forward. Then he spoke, his voice achingly soft.

“Can you call her for me now, please, Kenz? Put her on speakerphone?”

Kenzie typed his birthday into the phone: 0706. They’re soon, she thought. Coming so soon. I can’t wait to share my birthday with you, Dunny. I wonder what I could possibly get for you that you would love. What do I get for the man who has literally everything.

Anything you ever give me I will cherish endlessly, Mackenzie Stone. She knew he’d heard her from his answer, azure-tinged, whirling, warm. Because it’s from you.Your Hades cherishes every tiny flower from his sweet Persephone’s hair, for nothing grew in the Underworld until she arrived.

Kenzie found Annette in his contacts, hitting the call button, then the speakerphone, holding the phone up between them, her heart tight in her chest. The phone rang once--in the middle of the second ring, a breathless voice came through.

“Duncan.”

Kenzie’s eyes lifted to Duncan’s face; she watched him bite harshly into his lip at the sound of Annette’s voice. He lifted a hand to slide his sunglasses off; his fingers shaking.

“Hi, mom.”

There was a trembling silence that hung in the air, stretching out into bleeding, invisible colors of emotion. Like us, it has a color. It’s the blue of him, his resentment, his sadness, his forgiveness, his love for the only mother he’s ever known. It’s me, and my forgiveness, my love for both of them, the depth of my concern for him. And there’s a dark red, like raspberries on a bushel, like the blush of a stormy sunset. It’s Annette. Her remorse. Her spirit, forever changed by something. By Bill’s death. And by us.

“I’m here too, Annette,” Kenzie said, quietly.

“Hi, Mackenzie. Are you--are both of you alright? I was...I was so worried.”

“We’re fine,” Kenzie answered. “We’re heading back to the city. We were at the cabin for a few days. The one on Deep Creek Lake.”

“Oh. I--I’m so--it’s lovely, isn’t it? The lake there.”

“It really is. It was beautiful. It was perfect.”

The silence stretched again.

“Duncan...I--I’m…” Annette’s voice hitched. There were tears on Duncan’s cheeks now, and Kenzie’s heart felt shattered by his sadness. They were already turning from US-29 N towards Wisconsin Avenue. How are we back in DC already, Kenzie marveled. That should be impossible, we’ve been driving for an hour at most.

“I love you so much, Duncan.” Kenzie’s heart hammered and clenched to hear Annette’s tears. Annette Shepherd, crying. That steely exterior melting. Who could have imagined.

“Mom.” Duncan’s voice was shuddering. Kenzie reached for his hands, her own eyes full of tears now, too. He clutched her fingers, desperately. “I forgive you. For not telling me.”

“Oh, Duncan. Your uncle. He--”

“I know, Mom. I know he’s gone.”

“It’s yours, Duncan. Everything is yours. Shepherd Unlimited belongs to you now. I want you to know--that you are--always, always, and forever--my son.”

Kenzie could see Duncan was crying freely now, his eyes bright as sapphires on the bottom of dappled water, and his tears bled into his voice. “Mom. Can we come see you right now? We just got back in the city and--I want to see you.”

“Oh, Duncan. Yes. Yes, please. I’m at the house.”

“We’ll be there soon.”

“I love you, Duncan. Mackenzie. I love you too.” Annette hung up, and Kenzie lowered Duncan’s phone into her lap, her hand tight on his knee. Duncan stared ahead, tears still dripping into the crook of his neck, along the collar of his feathery shirt. His thoughts were jumbled beyond her ability to conceive, but his pain was deep. Kenzie focused on the feeling of the swirling weight of her gold against him, her fingertips against the weight of his body. The sunny day had bled into a cloudy one as they had drifted back into the capital--storm clouds seemed to be gathering overhead, their faces darkly staring down on the G-Class as it turned towards Annette’s mansion. Storms in our hearts, but soon they’ll clear, I know they will. I can feel Her in everything now. She’s guiding us through everything. She’s going to help us build the world we’re dreaming of.

They turned to the gate, which opened for them almost immediately; Annette waiting anxiously for her son, Kenzie thought. Duncan pulled up to the front walk; the driveway was quiet today, and the air was still as Kenzie gathered one of the bunches of wildflowers from the backseat; this one had some of the wild fuschias in the center, surrounded by pink and white alyssum. The darkness of the fuschias reminded her of the color of Annette in her thoughts--she looked up, the flowers gathered in her arms, to Duncan as he came up beside her, fingers falling through the tiny flowers he’d woven into her hair. Kenzie still wore her hiking boots and the little white dress--guess it doesn’t matter what I wear around Annette now, does it, she thought, smiling up at him. She gathered a wave of golden hair in her fingers, lifting it up to his cheek, using it to brush his tears away.

No, baby, he thought, his smile grateful, tender. It really doesn’t. And you look so beautiful right now I can’t stand it, High Princess.

She grasped his hand and pulled him to the big double doors. “I can’t believe the Gala was only a few nights ago,” she murmured. “It’s like it never happened.”

Duncan didn’t reply in words--but his thoughts drifted to her. That night feels like a dream. But we have those photos of us, don’t we. Those photos of me and you, radiant with the beauty of our love. Everyone has seen them; everyone has seen the greatness of it.

Kenzie grasped the gold knob of the door and it opened--as she pulled Duncan inside she immediately noticed the hunched figure on the staircase in the quiet, head turned down to earth, hands buried in long, sleekly styled chocolatey hair. Annette. Her head came up immediately at the sound--and Kenzie’s heart was crushed by the drawn state of her beautifully delicate features, teary mascara streaked on her cheeks lined with tiredness and grief.

“Mom,” Duncan whispered again, and let go of Kenzie, rushing to the stairs, kneeling--wrapping his arms fiercely around her. Annette clutched him, and a sob erupted from her that tore into Kenzie like a ripping gust of wind. Kenzie came beside them and sat, holding the flowers quietly. The three of them stayed that way for awhile--Kenzie could hear Annette’s low crying breaths, the tick of an ornate grandfather clock the only other sound. Kenzie remembered sitting here on the steps a few nights ago--the stale breath and hateful stare of Bill Shepherd in her face as he clutched at her arm, hissing his malice to her. And now he’s dead. And I forgive him, too.

Annette reached her hand out from Duncan’s arms and clutched Kenzie’s fingers.

“Mackenzie,” she breathed, the hiccup of her breath hitching her words. “I’m s-sorry. I’m so-s-so sorry. For all my cold-coldness. I saw those beautiful photos--saw--I s-saw--”

“Annette, it’s okay. Everything’s okay.” Kenzie spoke very quietly, soothingly. “Everything’s forgiven. We love you.”

Duncan let go of his mother; Kenzie passed her the flowers, and Annette’s face was lit with a gentleness Kenzie had never seen there before.

“These are beautiful.” Annette’s fingers brushed out along the tiny alyssum; fell to the ones in Kenzie’s hair, knowingly. Your son threaded these through my hair, Annette. Your gentle, beautiful son. I know you feel that. I know you can see the difference in him. It’s not a change--it’s who he always was.

“We found this spot in the forest behind the lake house; a circle of oaks. Inside it, flowers grew in a beautiful pattern. We brought some back with us--for everyone we love.”

The three of them sat together there in the quiet on the ornate steps--Annette clutched the flowers to her breast, breathing in their richness, her shuddering tears slowly calming. Duncan stared at Kenzie, the affection in him making her feel faint. Annette, do you see? Do you see your son and how radiantly lovely he is? How he’s become the lovely soul in aspect that he always had within? It moves my soul, kindles every sense of my body to him. I love him more than anything on this earth.

“Mom,” Duncan said after a long while. “Can you tell me about my birth mother? I just--I would like to know about her. Please.”

Annette’s breath came out in a shudder once more, then she seemed to gather herself as the flowers were gathered against her. Kenzie reached out to Duncan, grasping his knee. He brought his large hand over hers, holding her tightly.

“She was so lovely. Long, wavy hair, the same color as yours. Dark green eyes. A kind, beautiful face. I only knew her in a passing sense...I met her by chance. I would often see her when I was at grad school--she worked at a diner on campus and cleaned houses. She got pregnant by accident, by a much younger man, one who was very erratic and unwell. She was going to terminate the pregnancy, but I--Duncan, I always wanted children, I just--”

“You couldn’t have any.”

“Yes. I knew it was the only way. Her name was Valerie. Valerie Lawford. I was told that she died a few years ago--I--I’m so sorry, Duncan. I wanted to tell you for a long time, but, when she died, I thought, maybe, that I should let the truth be buried with her. I was wrong about that.”

She breathed out, the whistle of her tears in Kenzie’s ears; then continued.

“From the second I saw you, Duncan...your beautiful, little, scrunched-up face--I just knew. It was instant. We just belonged. We belonged--we did.” She fell against Duncan again, the flowers crushing between them, their rich scent falling into Kenzie’s nose.

The way I knew when I saw him, too, Annette. I knew, too. I knew we belonged. That he was always going to be the place where my heart belonged. How could you not love him. I know. His beautiful soul, so obvious, so bright. How could you not love him the moment you saw him.

“Mom.” Duncan spoke against his mother’s hair. “Kenzie and I are engaged. I want you to know that. We’re going to get married.”

Annette pulled away from Duncan, looking at him, not speaking; and then turned to Kenzie. Her eyes were liquid, their dark brown depth full of a sincerity Kenzie had not felt from them before.

“Can I--Kenzie. Can I hold you?”

Kenzie gasped a little at that--and then her hand was slipping out of Duncan’s so she could wrap her arms around his mother, tightly. Annette was warm and soft, and her hair smelled like warm amber; rich and somehow immediately nostalgic. I will always think of you this way now, Annette, Kenzie thought, looking into Duncan’s eyes over his mother’s shoulder. So softly vulnerable, in need of love, and at last, finally, allowing yourself to be comforted. Finally, allowing me to love you.

-------

They’d asked Annette to come to Madeline’s with them tomorrow, as she arranged the flowers they’d brought her carefully in a gold vase. She had nodded, shyly, her features still awash in love for her son; in relief towards him, in the love Kenzie had seen in her eyes. The world will have changed, Rosemary had said. And everything in it seemed to be flowers on Kenzie’s heart.

“I never thought the day would come where my mother and your mother would willingly agree to be in the same room together again,” Duncan said, bringing a hand along his jaw as they walked back through the doors--they’d said their farewells to Annette a moment ago after a relatively simple (at least, for Arturo) dinner of salmon and spanish-style quinoa with her, Ingrid overseeing the meal in her protective, silent manner. The G-Class was nowhere to be seen now, Annette’s personal service having taken their belongings along to the penthouse without them; instead, like some magical force had called it, Duncan’s telltale black BMW idled on the corner.

“I know, I--Samuel!” Kenzie squealed, noticing it. She raced away from Duncan, coming to the driver’s side window--Samuel pushed the door open, standing, his blindingly white smile flashing at her, and Kenzie threw herself into his big arms, laughing.

“I know it’s only been a few days, but I missed you terribly--” she murmured against him.

“I feel the same way, Miss Mackenzie. To see both of you is a relief.”

“Samuel, we’re engaged.”

Samuel’s laugh was instantaneous and burst out of him like peal of thunder.

“There is nothing else in the world that would have made me so happy to hear.” Duncan came up beside them, and to Kenzie’s surprise, Samuel pulled him into a crushing hug. When he let go, Kenzie could see the joyful emotion on Duncan’s face; feel waves of intense blue love for the older man in his mind.

“Duncan, Mackenzie, I must tell you,” Samuel said, suddenly serious. “There are so many paparazzi at the penthouse--a sea of them. As of Bill Shepherd’s passing, it seems they have decided to ignore his arrangements. I think an escort will be necessary today.”

“Fuck. Right. Okay.” Duncan pulled his phone out, deftly typing, bringing it to his ear. How does any one person look so good doing the simplest things, Kenzie thought. I’ll never not be in awe of you, my love. The Cartier flashed on his wrist, the breeze ruffling at his hair. A drop of rain fell on his cheek as Kenzie watched and both he and Samuel moved to pull the side door open at the same time for her. She laughed a little, awash in affection. The rain is washing away the last of the old world, she thought, sliding into the BMW’s familiar backseat. And now there are only beautiful things ahead. Whatever we imagine, we’ll create it. I can feel it. Whatever we dream up, we’ll make into reality.

By the time Harris arrived with an entourage of dark-suited men, the rain had started in earnest, and pealing thunder was bursting in the sky with long streaks of lightning. Kenzie had settled, half-sleepy, into the crook under Duncan’s arm--Harris slid into the front seat beside Samuel, shaking his hand warmly, then turning to dip an arm through the partition, Kenzie grasping his fingers in greeting, Duncan smiling at both of them, his cheek on the top of Kenzie’s head. Harris looked radiantly happy; he’s in love, Kenzie thought, and wanted to cry again. He’s in love with my beautiful Claire Augustine. My dearest friend, whose soul burns with sincerity.

“Harris,” she breathed, and she could see the brightness in his sepia eyes; the joy. “It’s so good to see you.”

“My god, Miss Mackenzie, Mr. Shepherd,” Harris laughed a little. “You both look wonderful. Brilliant. I can’t...it’s hard to describe it. It’s like you’re shining with light from within.”

“Some really strange things happened to us the past few days,” Duncan said, his voice tinged with amusement.

“Harris, we’re engaged,” Kenzie grinned at her huge bodyguard, and her heart melted at the look that came over his face; its softness and approval.

“That’s the sweetest news to hear.” This man is so strong and so gentle at the same time, Kenzie thought. This is the perfect person for my Clairebear.

“Claire told me,” Kenzie gripped his hand for another moment, then let go. “About you two.” Harris pulled it back through the partition, shyly. “My mother’s having some people over for a little gathering tomorrow--I’d like it very much if you’d come with Claire.”

“Oh, Miss Mackenzie, I--”

“Please, Harris. I insist.”

Harris blushed; he really is very handsome, Kenzie thought. He’s got a lovely heart. Only a great heart could match the heart of my Claire.

“Then it seems I have no choice,” he murmured to her, his wide smile spreading over his face. “I’d be honored to come.”

“Good.” Kenzie leaned back into Duncan, her mouth dipping open on his soft shirt, satisfied. The rain pinged against the BMW’s windows, a sweet lull in her mind, the cedar-jasmine scent of her beloved (for all time) in her nose.

Fuck me when we get home, baby? Put my rose choker on me and fuck me naked on the black, smooth stone. Tomorrow I’ll go see Candice and tell her I’m resigning; I’ll tell her our plan for the Post, that it’ll really be hers to control, and that it’s time for me to write something of my own. But right now I want you alone again. I loved that golden bed at the cabin, but I miss our sweet black bed; I miss our Mirror, the chain where you’ve tied me to your attentions, the bathtub where you gathered roses for me, the cherrywood table where we fucked as rain crashed outside, like today, the window where you pressed yourself into me with such immediacy as we gazed out on the view. Fuck, I missed this car, even--this smooth leather backseat where I’ve held you so often, my dearest love.

Kenzie, angel, fuck, yes. Do you want to choose your engagement ring with me? I want to get it for you tomorrow. Duncan pressed the thought, deep blue, shy, into her.

No, I trust you. I want you to choose it. It’s from you, a symbol of your love for me. When I look at it, I want to see me how you see me there, the love and sweetness in your thoughts of me. I want it to always remind me of you there. I feel like I can already see it--like it’s already in my mind. You think of its shape so often, how you want it to look. And I love it with all my heart, because it’s the ring you dream about for me.

Duncan’s arms came around her, bringing her closer, and Kenzie’s knee came over his thigh, his hand drifting over to come across her bare leg. The BMW was almost back to the penthouse, another car with the additional security following behind. Kenzie could see an absolute sea of people waiting for them despite the rain, but was shocked to find the calmness in her heart couldn’t be stirred into worry in this moment. I know everything’s going to be okay now. I know it like the gold I can see in my own spirit.

Can I tell you a secret, he thought into her, and Kenzie’s whole body was tingling instantly; the feeling of the word in the hidden crevices of her, as if his fingers were there.

Always. Tell me every secret.

I had your ring made weeks ago. I wanted it to be perfect. I had it commissioned specially. I’m not going to find your ring tomorrow; I’m going to go pick it up. It’s a moonstone, Kenzie. It had to be. For you, it was the only ring I could imagine. I wanted to ask, to make sure--to make sure that was okay. Because if you don’t like it, if it’s not perfect--

“Dunny,” she whispered, bringing her lips up to his chiseled jaw, her eyes into his (the storm on the sea on a night lit by the moon). “It will be perfect, because it’s from you. From your heart and your soul, for mine. I trust you.”

She looked out the window at the rain-sodden press and paps and the sea of umbrellas (hundreds of people, she marveled, hundreds of people just standing around in the rain, waiting for us), feeling his eyes still on her in his adoration. The security detail coming around to the door from the other car, each of the men very tall in dark suits; I have to get those flowers for Samuel and Harris and Anchaly, they need them. Those flowers aren’t ordinary, they’re for healing the people we love, bringing them into the new world with us. She could see them in her mind now, where they’d be placed all along the counter up in the penthouse.

“Baby...I’ll be right back,” she murmured, and pushed herself there--and for a flash of golden space, time seemed to stop for her. She was in the penthouse; bathed in the storm’s shadows, standing by the counter; the flowers were lined there as she had seen them. Kenzie grasped three of the bunches and moved herself back to the backseat of the BMW, envisioning its leather interior. And then she was there, Duncan gaping at her, flowers cascading in her hands. Kenzie grinned at him, mischievously.

“I’m getting really good at that.”  

“Holy fuck, Kenzie,” he whispered.

Samuel and Harris were at a loss when she handed them the bunches of flowers as they stepped outside, Harris holding an umbrella over Kenzie’s head.

“Where did these come from? You didn’t have them before,” Samuel puzzled through the driver’s side window.

“I used a little magic,” and Kenzie laughed. Samuel and Harris had looked at each other, lost. But the flowers were so beautiful, so sweet, still so fresh despite the journey back from the lake; they seemed to forget the impossibility of them, and instead were enraptured by their beauty, both gazing down into their hands, drinking in their heady scent. Like so many things in life, Kenzie thought, we’re just lucky to have them at all. Or maybe it isn’t luck. I don’t think anything is up to chance. Not anymore. Not with Her guiding everything.

They’d spoken a little to the press before going upstairs, Harris and the entourage hovering around them in a fortress of black suits; answered questions about where they had been (“on a short vacation”), about Bill Shepherd (“we’re grieving but we feel very positive about the future”), and the company. “I spoke to Ben Wilder at the Post,” Duncan had said, cameras flashing on him, “and discussed with him our plans for the longevity of Shepherd Unlimited. My objectives are not my uncle’s. I’ll be dissolving the show, Gardner Analytics, and its App forthwith. Our other plans are still formulating, but from today forward, Shepherd Unlimited will be altered drastically into a vehicle for progressive philanthropy. We are no longer functioning under a capitalist mindset.”

“The official title of the Foundation is changing as well,” Kenzie had added, surrounded by what seemed like fifty microphones, Anchaly’s bouquet in her fingers. Strangely, she didn’t feel nervous. No one seemed to notice the rain, their attention rapt on her. Some of the reporters’ mouths gaped open. Just little ol’ me, Mackenzie Stone, in hiking boots with flowers in my hair, flowers in my hands, but she could hear Duncan clearly in her mind, her fingers threading through the Tiffany moon. Angel, angel baby, High Princess, my beloved, your radiance is staggering, they’ll follow you anywhere, they’ll build temples in your name, you astound me, you make my life a constant blessing, a waking dream, and her smile, she knew, was being captured by a dozen cameras crowded close to her face. “Now it will be called the Shepherd Foundation for the Arts and Sciences, and with it we’ll be creating programs to help disenfranchised people access educational tools and medical care, primarily. With a focus on the arts in general. They’re very important to us. We’re also going to focus heavily on solar energy. This building here--” Kenzie pointed to the high rise, “is going to be the prototype for the others we plan to build. We’re going to make it 100% solar-powered and build a bio-diverse greenhouse on the rooftop as a model for other, similar greenhouses we plan to build on every structure owned by Shepherd Unlimited.”

“And we’re anxious to speak with the President,” Duncan enunciated clearly. “Mackenzie and I have some ideas for serious legislation that could help the District of Columbia and other major American cities convert to solar energy and bio-safe production standards akin to the ones we’re implementing for Shepherd Unlimited. A serious conversation with her for the green future of the United States is a priority for us.”

“Does this mean you’re officially a Democrat?” It was Gary Spencer.

“The company--that is, Shepherd Unlimited as an organization--is no longer affiliated with any political party. Our focus will be on helping the working class. Thanks, that’s all for right now. We’ll see all of you again soon.”

“Mackenzie, you looked so beautiful at the Gala,” a young reporter they didn’t recognize said suddenly, as Duncan and Kenzie went to move away from the crowd. She was short, with dark hair that fell around her round, pretty face to her shoulders, and was wearing a smart, tan-colored skirted suit and heeled boots, holding an umbrella with a pattern of white leaves on turquoise green among the sea of black umbrellas surrounding her. She was gazing at Kenzie with a glassy-eyed expression; reverent, knowing. “Angelic. It was--it was moving. Both of you. It’s obvious how much you really love each other. I--I wanted to say. I wish you every happiness. Thank you for--for showing your love to all of us...I just wanted to say thank you.”

Kenzie reached out to her--the girl accepted her hand, and Kenzie could see she was near tears. May Her hand guide you in all things, beloved. She nodded to the girl, pressing the thought against her. May you always feel loved, for you can see Her work in the universe. Duncan watched them for a minute, his blue eyes sliding knowingly between them. She could hear camera shutters going off wildly around them. Then Kenzie stepped away from the girl and took his hand, and they rushed through the soft rain into the foyer.

“Anchaly! Anchaly!” Kenzie ran to him, her boots stomping on the spotless marble. “We brought you flowers. From the lake. These flowers are--they’re special.” Anchaly was giving her a shocked expression, eyes wide, The New Adam and Eve poised in his hand. Kenzie ran around his desk, pushing the bouquet into his lap. Anchaly stared down at them for a moment, then his face broke into radiant happiness.

“These are the most beautiful flowers I’ve ever seen,” he said, and Duncan was grinning at them, melting Kenzie’s heart like ice-cream under a summer sun. “They look like you just plucked them from a garden in heaven.”

“They’ll bring you great fortunate,” Kenzie said, batting her eyelashes at him, giggling, and then became serious. “Anchaly, thank you for everything. For being so lovely. For making me feel so at home here. I’m so grateful to you.”

“It’s been one of the great pleasures of my life, Miss Stone. I can’t overemphasize that. Your presence here has been a gift to us, not the other way around. You are a bright star. Thank you for the flowers--my goodness.”

Kenzie nodded, and skipped back around the desk to pull Duncan to the elevator. He fell after her, his eyes dark and lovely on her; just try to get away from me now, Princess Kenzie. I’m gonna trap you in that elevator. Kenzie laughed; her hair tossed over the side of the face as she pulled him in, waving after Harris and their entourage. “See you tomorrow, Harris--” and then the door slid shut, and Duncan’s hands (oh fuck, baby, your hands) were lifting up to her throat, pressing her insistently back into the mirrored surface behind them.

“Are you gonna fuck your baby now?” She whispered, laughing up at him. He smelled like the rain, like the musk of his own sweat and skin, indecipherable and utterly his own--his face hung over hers, the fine chiseled straightness of his nose, the outline of his achingly beautiful lips, his thoughts rushing against her, his blue eyes ravenous and fingers tight, kindling her thoughts towards her choker, its grasping hold on her. The reminder that I belong to you. And what a blessed reminder it is. Duncan was thinking of the sweet smell of her cunt, she could feel it, thinking of the softness of the lips of her sex on the flat of his tongue, thinking of the intense tightness of her ass when he was buried inside it, thinking of the sore redness he’d left on her asscheeks, thinking of her in the black lingerie, thinking of tying her to the bed with his belt, to the chain with the velvet rope--thinking of shivering sound of her moans when he spanked her, when he slapped her clit with the flat of his palm--he was thinking about how he was going to drag her against the counter and fuck her standing, and Kenzie couldn’t keep her nervous laughter at bay; so do it baby, be rough with me, go on do it, do it you fucking god, you exquisite prince, clutch me to you as I am yours in all things, a part of your body, the wholeness of your soul, and she wiggled under his hand, pretending she was trying to get free, to make him tighten his grip on her. His eyes darken with the knowledge of me.

Duncan pressed his mouth, crimson-tinged with heat,.against her cheek, forcing her head to the side, the tightness of his hand making her gasp now. His other hand was pressed flush between her legs, over her panties, fingers spread along the stretch of her sex, held still, almost unbearable in their pressure. This is mine, he was thinking. This part of you here. This sweetness beyond all other sweetness. I want it again--in my lips, around my aching hardness, dripping down my tongue. I’m already so fucking hard for you. I’m always so fucking hard now. Heaven is the space between your thighs, Kenzie, angel baby.

“Uh huh,” his whisper became a moan, became a plea despite the roughness of his fingers. “I’m gonna make you come all over my cock, Princess Kenzie. Tonight I want you to obey your Evening Star. Will you do that for me, High Princess? Will you let me tell you what to do?”

Kenzie sighed against him, a whine of delight. “Yes, sweet Prince. Tell me what to do for you. You’re so fucking beautiful, the most beautiful of all men on earth, and I love you more than the stars, more than heaven--” and he was pulling her hair with demanding fingers into his fists, forcing her mouth open, up onto his, his tongue on hers, the scent of him, his height over her, making her slide her hips flush into him, making him clutch her under her ass, along the back of her thighs with tingling, drifting pressure. There is a perfect order to the universe, she thought as he lifted her off the ground, burying his mouth on her neck now, the sweet scratching weight of his stubble staining against her lips. It’s us, fucking together, fucking, fuck--

Duncan dropped her to earth with a groan as the elevator opened, fumbling out his keycard, and her heart was in her mouth as his much larger hand fell down her arm, enveloping her wrist with an insistent, unbreakable grasp, his fingers burning. They fell inside the penthouse door, and Duncan suddenly stepped back from her, achingly setting her free. Kenzie’s nerves were afire now, her body humming with the wild demand in him, the way he was throwing her body this way with blunt force, the way he was staring at her. You’re Dionysus, I’m the sweet wine of your bower, your Ariadne, the height of your potent desire, and without me you will go mad. Without me, you are not yourself.

“Kenzie, take off your panties. Right now.”

Kenzie sucked her breath in, sucked back her moan. She reached under the short hem of the little white dress and eased the white lace panties she wore underneath to the floor, kicking them away with her hiking boots.

“Turn around and lean down. Hold your ankles.”

Oh my goddess, baby.

She giggled nervously, turning, leaning down, gripping onto either ankle--she felt the cool air of the penthouse drift along her exposed sex now as the hem lifted up along her back, her bare cunt and ass facing him, her hair and the tiny flowers he’d twined in it falling along her cheeks. She heard the sharpness of his breath, felt the darkening drift of his energy (his power, kindled), felt him moving up behind her--then she felt him kneel, his hands on the deeply sensitive softness at the back of her thighs, his knees coming down on either side of her feet, so close his musky scent pressed close on her with the flushed warmth of his skin. She shivered, almost losing her balance, at the sweetness of him--Duncan gripped her tightly, holding her steady, and then his mouth was trailing along the bruised flesh of her ass. He nibbled there slightly, sucked, and she felt the curving tickle of his eyelashes as his eyes closed, his breath hitching; then he was pushing her ass cheeks apart, his breath blowing, tiny and shiveringly cool, along the pucker of her asshole, and then his tongue was lolling down over the opening of her cunt--Kenzie shook violently, moaning, almost losing her balance again as his mouth dipped further, onto her clit--and then he was sliding back, standing away from her, going to her suitcase and bringing it in front of her.

“Don’t move, Kenzie baby,” he whispered. “Stay just like that. Keep yourself like that for me. Just a little bit longer.”

“Mmmh, Dunny, baby, it’s hard,” and Kenzie could feel her knees trembling.

Duncan found the rose choker and the plug, and Kenzie watched him bite his lip in anticipation, her breath coming out in another little gasp. He came up to her on his knees and deftly buckled the smooth leather around her neck, pulling it tight--Kenzie’s vision blurred, then settled back as Duncan kissed her, his mouth trembling and open, his tongue needy, hands pulling her chin against him.

“Okay, up now, Princess,” he whispered, and Kenzie straightened, standing over him. He gazed up at her (fucking goddess, he thought) and Kenzie smiled down at him, lost in his loveliness. He crooked his finger at her--those beautiful long fingers.

“Turn around, sweet baby,” and she did, heart resounding.

“I’d do anything for you, Duncan,” she whispered to him, over her shoulder, and knew, with painful, sharp clarity, how true it was. “For you, all my weakness is laid bare. In your arms I am vulnerable to anything you’d do...or say...or give, or take away from me. Oh, goddess. It’s so much.”

“I know, Kenzie, my love. And you know...I pray you know...how entirely I would do anything for you. Anything of heaven, earth, or hell. Anything. I will worship you endlessly in this world until my death, and then I will be reborn to worship you in the next. Now lean down again, beloved angel. Let me. Do as I say.”

Kenzie was close to the edge of the island now--she leaned down on it, her cheek to its coldness, the air drifting against the wetness along her sex again, and gripped the smooth corners of obsidian stone. She felt the tickling contact of his fingers once more, starting at her ankles this time, sliding upwards, his lips pressing on the bruises he left again; so slowly, almost unbearably slow. Kenzie could smell the potency of the rest of the wildflowers a few feet away, resting on the island--she tried to focus on their scent for a moment to keep her legs from shaking, but then Duncan was pressing her ass apart again, and she couldn’t stop her voice from rising in a convulsive cry as she felt a long line of his warm spit drip down between them, into the hole there--and his long, elegant thumb immediately force itself into her, sliding the wetness into her, preparing her for a moment, his other fingers drifting up her thigh, cupping the cheek above it.

“My angel baby,” he whispered, and the softness of his voice made her want to scream. “I’m gonna fuck you so fucking hard now.” And then, with an immediacy that stole every bit of breath from her lungs, Duncan pressed the plug into her ass, harshly, utterly, with the flat of his hand flush against her, forcing it in as far as it would go, causing her nerves to sing and her voice to hitch into wordless entreaties, and then he was standing behind her, hands insistently pushing her dress up, pulling it over her head so she was laid bare to him; then she heard the rustling of him disrobing himself, scattering his clothing to the floor in a rippling heap, the hovering heat of him kindling her senses, and he slid his arms under her slender breasts at her torso, flushing her back against his chest and his abdomen, the feeling of him so slick-soft and the scent of him rich with deep musk and his voice in her ear--

“Angel--”

Delight of my eyes, fire in my heart, center of the universe, let me lay worship between your thighs--

“Angel--”

Honey-voiced, silk-skinned, rose-scented, sun-haloed, princess of gold--

They gasped into each other as he entered her, his cock achingly hard and immediately slick with her arousal and the spit he’d left inside her; her ass twinged, sucking at the plug, pushing spit to the front of her mouth, threatening to spill it forward from her lips. He held her against him utterly this way as he moved against her, lips buried in her hair--Kenzie felt absolutely lost to him, her body and her mind tangled against him in such a way that she thought she would die if ever she came undone. I worship you, he bled against her. I worship you until heaven falls utterly.

“Fu-uuck,” she heard herself whining, far away. “Dunny, touch my poor little clit, please--”

“You do as I say tonight, my little flower goddess--” he murmured into her ear. “You won’t come until I fuck you for as long as I want to, Mrs. Shepherd. Don’t touch your clit or you’ll be spanked. Hard.”

“Ungh--Dunny--baby--”

“Go ahead, baby, cry out for me. I wanna hear. Sing out to me, High Princess, my most luxuriant beauty of the stars.”

He pushed her thighs out with his knees so they were spread utterly, pounding into her so roughly Kenzie keened against the counter, her body rocking back and forth, her breasts coldly pressed on the obsidian, the choker cutting against her throat; the counter was tethered utterly and could not be moved, so Kenzie’s shudders against it made her feel like a wave of deep water on a still shoreline; the bliss is to be locked to you this way, and also in movement. The dance between us is one that can’t be described in words. It’s our souls coming together every time. When we fuck, we’re touching each other in the deepest, most shadowed place. Oh, fuck--

Kenzie’s hand drifted down to her clit, unthinkingly--Duncan’s hand snapped out and yanked her fingers away, then he stretched his long fingers and slapped them sharply, three times in quick succession, against the lips of her cunt, against the sensitive bundle of nerves between them; Kenzie gasped sharply, her vision going dark again for a moment at the intensity of it, the sharp spikes of light that lit her mind and the growing heat in her belly.

“Only I get to touch you there this time, angel,” he moaned into her ear, and then he pressed his index and middle finger into her clit, not moving them for a long while as he fucked her--letting the force of them make her keen her hips against him, grinding onto the thickness of his cock; making her fuck herself. “That’s it, angel baby, my golden goddess. Fuck my cock, Kenzie, baby--”

Duncan was toying with the plug as he worked at her, teasing it roughly against the pressure of her ass, and she let out a wailing groan, snapping her teeth together to try to keep her cries at bay. He was pressing into her neck with a strong hand again, pushing her cheek into the cold stone, then pulling her back up to bring his fingers into her throat, around the choker (oh goddess fuck the way you know I love it so much, so tightly, my breath aching to be free but my heart longing for you to never let go), bringing his nose against the back of her neck as he fucked her, breath hot; his mouth hung open on her skin, his voice bleeding out against her, his ecstasy untethering him.

“Ken-n-zie, fuck, can you see that--”

At first Kenzie didn’t understand--could see nothing from her heavy-lidded eyes but the flowers gathered in front of her, the doorway of the dining room beyond, the silver fridge, and darkness at the corners of her vision, Duncan’s fingers tangled in her hair and tight on her skin, the pressure of his fingers on her clit making her want to scream---but then her vision shifted, as it had in the forest at the lake, as it had in their dreams.

She thought she saw the sky; full of stars, so many stars, as it had been there in the clearing, millions of stars, the universe like a cosmic ocean of a depth I could not imagine, and saw the moon, a waning third now that was becoming crescent-like. And then, the vision seemed to double; seemed to triple, and extend further, and fall in itself, becoming some impossible geometry of dimension, and every moon was a pattern of the next, a copy but also not a copy, also its own moon, distinct, singular--and in their faces, Kenzie knew; could see. Could see Her, the Goddess, her faces, not only three, but many, infinite, extending forever, beyond all description, beyond all measure of space or time. Knew that this; the melding of their bodies, the demand of their sex, was divinely right, even holy, even of heaven.

Then the vision seemed to fall back into itself, to collapse. She realized inside of the vision that they hadn’t ceased the ardency of their movements against each other--if anything she gasped with the need to have him closer, turned her neck under his hand to reach his mouth; Duncan kissed her with a neediness that made her body hum, as if he were sucking not only the breath from her, but the golden outline of her spirit--she thought of what she’d imagined the night of the Gala, staring up at the fullness of the moon over the penthouse. Those moons live beside our moon, and together, they echo through time. Just as every version of us, and our story, echoes in time beside us. And in every story, we find each other. In every story, I will always find you, Duncan. She’s showing us. She’s telling us that story. The story beyond time.

And as Kenzie drifted into the rising storm that was her release--his own so achingly close to her, I know baby, I can feel you, the glow of your skin, the furious idolatry for me in your thoughts--she thought of the song they’d heard; the one that had whisked them, with supernatural speed, into the arms of his distraught mother, into the halo of healing forgiveness that still lingered in them--

Don’t you see what you’re finding? This is heaven in hiding, this is heaven in hiding

And as they came together, locked together utterly, the echoes of it resounded in her mind and again, and she felt him there, tied to every part of her, the aspects that could not be seen, only sensed, her true soul against his, saw the moons extending into eternity--

This is heaven in hiding, this is heaven in hiding, we’re heaven in hiding, heaven in hiding, heaven in hiding...

[itscelestefromnm3217]

Final Project

For our final project, I decided to go with Self-Identity, and attempted to develop my own personal brand. 

We were told to approach the project with a specific career in mind; since I’m quite active in my art-making, I chose to market myself as an artist, with ‘Kahlieste’ being my art brand/ pseudonym that I’ve used for a while now.

Ideation Process

I began by running a few of my existing works through a color scheme generator, just to see if there were any common threads that could help me develop a brand genuinely representative of my identity as an artist.

Generally speaking, a good number of my art is red, black, greyish, and cream, with something creeping up the characters, or blood dripping. Which was a problem, because I don’t exactly want potential employers to perceive me as broody or creepy. The somewhat more positive works had elements of galaxies or the night sky, but also mainly used dark colors as a backdrop. Thus, I chose to preserve these elements: darkness and night, in my final. 

I was particularly drawn to the color scheme at the bottom right, the gold, cream, and black. My classmates also liked that choice, and commented that the colors would complement each other well. 

With these ideas in mind, I took inspiration from tarot cards, and astronomy symbols. This was my moodboard: 

For one of our tutorials, we were told to come up with a Word Cloud, which was 6 words describing our concept. Here are some ideas that I wanted my brand to reflect:

1. Unique/ distinct

2. Dark/ominous

3. Shadows/ night

4. Elegant/ sophisticated

5. Classic/ornate

6. Bold/edgy

7. Strange/eccentric

(yep, it’s a lot more than 6 words) 

I also referenced Ivy Lane’s brand style guide, which is an alternative/ bougie wedding planning company. Ivy Lane used many of the same themes as I intended to, so it was very helpful and interesting to observe the way they presented their brand. I was especially drawn to their brand because of their golden skull logo (pictured below), above a black background. This was generally along the lines of what I was going for, so it was cool. (I didn’t rip them off though, here’s their link you can check: https://issuu.com/corinnealexandra/docs/ile-brandguide) 

Primary Logo Sketches: 

Original Logo Designs:

I was determined to retain the image of a hand in my logo; most of my art is about people, or it has human figures in it, so this was a way for me to preserve that element. Also, hands are commonly seen in tarot card designs, so this stayed consistent with the theme. I subsequently had the idea to have the moon phases ‘drip’ from the hands, or sprout from the hand through vines. I thought this was consistent with the theme of my works, but communicated it more subtly than with red or blood. I also considered the hand’s pose, and decided on the logo on the right - the composition seemed more balanced, and was comfortably spaced with the bottom border, unlike the one on the left. 

Primary Name Card Drafts: 

Font Choices:

I downloaded and experimented with a lot of fonts, before deciding on the best ones. 

I wanted my brand to have a classic feel, but I also didn’t want it to look dated. I tried some serif fonts, but they didn’t seem to complement my logo, which was very geometric in nature. More ‘vintage’, ‘theatrical’ fonts also seemed a bit too overpowering. Ultimately, I decided that the san serif fonts made my logo look more modern and clean, and settled on De Valencia for the Titles and Headings, with Courier New for the subheadings (in all caps), and the body text (sentence case.) 

For context, “Sphinx of Black Quartz, Judge my Vow” is just an edgier, more pretentious version of “the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.”

(Some of my rejected fonts tried out on my original name card draft) 

I also considered the sizing of by brand name, and how cohesive it would look within the design. 

Original Color Scheme:

Original Name Card: 

Critique: 

Following critique from class, I redesigned the name card such that the information on the back would also be in portrait orientation, for consistency. I also added in a secondary ‘light’ version - my dad commented that printing on black is expensive, and I thought it was good to have an alternative. 

My primary concern was about legibility, and that the gold wasn’t as contrasting against the white/cream color as it was against the black. During critique, my classmates commented that the gold was still clearly legible, but it was true that the contrast was weakened. In response, I added another shade of gold to the color scheme, to be used against the white.  

Here’s the before and after: 

Updated Color Scheme: 

Also, instead of purely using the new, darker gold against the white, I also used it in my brand guide for some of the subheadings, in order to contrast with the body text. I thought that the extra color added some depth to the guide, and made the text more readable. (Personally, I hate reading big chunks of text, so this made it less overwhelming.)

Other critique was about the finer details, like improving the pdf quality and consistently arranging the elements on the brand guide itself, both of which have been corrected before the final submission. 

How Adobe was used:

In this project, I primarily used Adobe Illustrator to create the logo, the name cards, and really most of the deliverables. 

An example would be how I created the moon phase pattern on my final slide. Same process as usual, ellipse tool, line tool, direct selection - change line and fill colour. But an exciting new thing I learnt (should’ve learnt earlier) was using the scissors tool to cut the circles in half. I used to just create a rectangle and put it over half the circle, but I’m smarter now. This way’s way easier. 

Same goes for how I created the logo grid and the zone of exclusion. I used a combination of the rectangle and the line tools, and changed the lines into dotted lines on the properties panel > stroke > dashed line. This was really fun for me. I was about to DIY my dotted lines by making like.. 1000 little rectangles. Good thing I googled it first, you know.  For the zone of exclusion, I copied and pasted the middle moon into the 4 corners, then lowered their transparency. Fun times. 

These elements and more were saved, and as required, InDesign was used to assemble the final pdf:

It was fun! Ok it was really challenging, but I did enjoy the process. Thanks for the semester, I had a good time. 

[dazzling-ji]

aesthetic themed ask list

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?

probably halo? still riding off the performance high tbh

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?

can’t think of anything that i would want to know immediately that i couldn’t just wait for confirmation in prayer about...

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

so far? taking the steps necessary to actually pursue my dreams

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

kbbq with friends

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

probably tell my parents how i feel about them, same to my friends

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?

not really. i have things i’d like to do, tho

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.

as in a human being? um, she has obscenely small hands. her face is like shiny and red perpetually. she is tiny. she gets really excited over the smallest things, i.e. her cats or the sight of a corgi. lowkey highkey hates her hair unless it’s short. bane of my existence.

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?

bruh i wish. literally still trying to console younger me with each day.

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?

lowkey cried in front of my therapist as i told him i don’t cry in front of people. idk if he noticed or not (IT’S CUZ HE KEPT STARING AT ME WITH THOSE BIG SAD EMPATHETIC BLUE EYES. I DON’T NEED EMPATHY!!!) but the tears were threatening and i was threatening the tears.

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.

bruh, had to describe a human for the last one but this time i won’t. my best friend nam shin iii. because i love him and he’s great. wish he were real so i could teach him english and he could teach me korean and i could help him romance his girlfriend. 

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?

i did when i was first meeting my therapist lol. i don’t trust people enough to do stuff like that.

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?

probably ye olde tiny handed one. she’s the only one who would try to stay up that late with me. doesn’t mean i don’t have to deal with her sleep delirium.

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?

it’d either be to myself or my mom. something along the lines of letting them know their worth.

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?

they aight. blue eyes are really scary 90% of the time. brown eyes make more sense to me.

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.

“different doesn’t mean wrong” said by one of my late faves, who i honestly felt was a kindred spirit 99.999% best friend match to me. not gonna get into why the quote is so deep to me, all i’ll say is it allowed me to breathe.

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?

indigko

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?

pay off debts, travel, save, give to charities/church, save some more, maybe make a trust fund? 

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?

with God, yeah. by myself? depends. i can be kind of hypocritical and times.

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.

guess i know what to tag this ask meme now

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?

punk for sure.

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.

super cool. was thinking of getting either a septum or normal nose ring. wish tattoos made a bit more sense on dark skin, but either way they’re super painful so maybe i lucked out.

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?

i don’t. don’t wanna ruin my skin and i like the natural look over a beat face. i like people looking realistic if that makes sense?

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.

so many people to talk about, but my ex-fave prince helped me realize i was ace.

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.

i wouldn’t. at least not rn, don’t have anything revolutionary to tell em. maybe something like “Please remember we’re dealing with human beings” or along those lines, because I’m tired of reading about racists and human rights violations who real life be forgetting that aside from differences in race/gender/sexuality/etc/etc we are all human and worthy of love.

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

stromae @ msg - super fun! wish the people behind me didn’t try to waste my time and sit at a dance music concert.

nai palm @ brooklyn (i forget the venue) - also super great. it was great to actually see her irl, and allowed me to realize i can actually socialize without too much problem.

garth brooks @ mercedes benz - yikes ppl in the south RLY like their country music huh?

kimbra @ brooklyn (also forget the venue) - LIVE MUSIC CAN BE SO EXPERIMENTAL AND FUN. kind of reminded me of what i’d heard seeing prince irl was like.

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?

NYU - You have no outstanding balances. We have a $1 mil scholarship that will be applied to your account as of today. We love you. In fact, we’re gonna wipe away all your student loan debt and ensure no one in your family has to worry about paying for anything ever again in their lives.

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?

my desk always gets cluttered with papers and stuff. but i really do prefer working at a desk rather than a bed. 

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?

stall as long as possible until i REALLY need to go to sleep. grumble as i lazily brush my teeth and rinse my retainer. lie in bed and watch youtube for anywhere between 30 min to 3 hrs before actually turning off.

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?

call me crazy, but i want my parents to know about me and *gasp* like what they realize. like lemme tell em i’m ace and have them not freak out, idk. 

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

blue or purple. but probably a wig or something impermanent. 

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?

THE FAB FIVE. WHY AM I SO DUMB. we’d go makeover their next person on queer eye OR even better we’d just hang out

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.

1. the aforementioned letter from nyu because i deserve it, ok?

2. a life i don’t feel like i have to run away from because i hate living like this but feel powerless to change it.

3. a cool best friend i could go cool places with, because i wanna go cool places

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.

i cosplay’d as Taemin during the Ace era. It was cool because it basically was my style, so I felt super confident all day looking my best.

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?

I do neither. But the craziest thing I did half-asleep was convince myself I could still talk to the aforementioned tiny handed weirdo and answer her questions though my head was firmly planted on my pillow and i was neatly tucked under my sheets. like i really thought homegirl could read my thoughts and find the answers she needed to her questions. 

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?

like donald trump

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?

maybe one person - i’d see myself the way God sees me so I wouldn’t be so powerless against my insecurities and the fake people in the world all the time.

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realize you’re in love.

idk? i’m ace and aro and very aesthetically drawn, so i really don’t know if i ever have. 

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?

i prefer myself with longer hair tbh.

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?

hot chocolate if i wanna blend in. otherwise a strawberry acai refresher. i trust any of my friends because it’s really not that deep.

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

gaining self-confidence so i can step more firmly into my calling.

fin.