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queerprojectionist · 5 months ago

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I Saw The TV Glow

As always, a little housekeeping to start things off. This is not a “review” in the traditional sense but a discussion of the themes and the experiences of a film. It is not impartial or impersonal, and there are lots of spoilers though I will try to leave you some reason to watch for yourself. Queer and trans people are deeply affected by the media that does include us, because we’ve fought for so long just to have that. As such, my experience of cinema and my identity cannot be fully untangled and must be presented in it’s gnarled, multifaceted whole. Here there be trauma, folks. Tread lightly and enjoy. I Saw The TV Glow

Jane Schoenbrun, A24 Films, 2024

It is rare within recent queer cinema that a film doesn’t end with some variation on the lesson of you can choose this, if you want to. Coming out of the closet is a choice, just like the bigotry and intolerance queer people face just trying to live an authentic life. The predominant thinking towards coming out is that the independence of that discovery is sacrosanct; we may suspect our friends, family, or lovers are queer, but we can’t make them acknowledge that, before they’re ready to see it for themselves.

I Saw The TV Glow doesn’t agree. It is a burning ice-cream truck of hard truths, about the urgency, the utter consuming need to let our true selves live. A beautifully shot, sumptuously themed fever dream soaked in neon and teenage dysphoria, Schoenbrun’s latest demands that we reconsider; that not only can we choose our true selves, we must.

The backdrop for this proposal, The Pink Opaque, is a television show in the vein of Are You Afraid Of The Dark? (how’s that for a reference, 90s kids?). Tara and Isabel are summer camp friends who share a psychic connection, which they use to confront the forces of Mr. Melancholy, a terrifying celestial god who wants to drag them back to The Midnight Realmand bury them alive. Crucially, it’s their connection with each other that is the force that keeps the Realm at bay, a connection that is deeply sapphic coded. The show takes place across a ghostly, always-night surburban hallucination, an eerily perfect backdrop for Mr. Melancholy’s monsters. It feels deeply and directly queer in a way most shows of the era couldn’t be.

Owen becomes fascinated with the show after seeing advertisements for it, but the show airs after his bedtime, so he isn’t allowed to see it. He then meets Maddy, who he spots reading a book about the show, and strikes up a conversation, despite being in Grade 7 to Maddy’s Grade 9. He convinces his mother he’s gone to a sleepover at a friend’s and joins Maddy and her friend to watch the show one night, altering his life forever.

For two years, Maddy tapes the show’s episodes and leaves them in the darkroom at school for Owen to take home and watch, which he does surreptitiously, fearing that at any time his parents might find them and ask him questions he doesn’t have answers to yet. Isabel asks Tara how she knows things she shouldn’t, and if she’s going crazy, but Tara reaffirms her, telling her never to let anyone call her that. Their experiences are such because they are The Pink Opaque. In the following scene, Owen asks to join Maddy again to watch the show with her rather than on tape, and Maddy asks if he knows she’s only into girls, and who he’s into, which Owen can’t answer. He tries to describe how it feels like where that should be, there is only empty space where someone has carved out his heart with a shovel.

When they meet again to watch the show, there are the beginnings of recognition, understanding why Isabel, Tara, and the Midnight Realm feel “more real than real life”, in Maddy’s words. She suggests they run away together, to escape their own version of the Midnight Realm, and to better understand themselves, but Owen isn’t able to, and within a couple weeks, not only has Maddy left, but The Pink Opaque is cancelled.

The depths of Owen’s fear of who he is, something so many trans people experience, is not subtly suggested; they loom over Owen’s dissociative state much like Mr. Melancholy looms over the suburban terrors of The Pink Opaque. Maddy comes back for Owen years later, when he’s settled into a dissatisfying job and a nondescript life as a ghost of himself. She explains that she disappeared into the show. And there she makes it plain: they are Tara and Isabel, one of whom can’t look at himself long enough to allow that truth to escape. One of the most beautiful and brilliant sequences in the entire film is Tara’s impassioned plea to realize that Isabel is not lost; Owen is she.

But before Owen can fully accept Isabel, he bolts, pushing Tara to the ground in fear and running for home. It is rare for me to cry out in pain during a film, through great big tears no less, but I did so right there. Isabel is so close to realization, but she can’t make it outside of Owen before he stuffs her back into a dark and dissociative corner of his mind. It’s yet another sequence that trans people who fought their own truths for so long will feel like a punch in the guts. Tara leaves for good this time, but leaves a message for Owen on the street outside his house in chalk.

There is still time.

Tara sends Owen one more tape in the mail shortly after their encounter, the Season Five finale, the last episode of the show. In it, Mr. Melancholy captures Isabel, forces her to drink a sedating formula, and buries her alive. He cuts out her heart and puts it in an industrial freezer. The Midnight Realm wins. And it breaks Owen to see the parallels between Isabel’s death in the show and her suffocating inside of himself. Once again, the dissociation is broken only long enough for Isabel’s pain to escape, which it does, viscerally and violently.

I have walked this very road, as a trans person who didn’t make it out until her 30s. There were several times where I tried to re-bury who I was, between flashes of recognition that were both painful and terrifying. We watch Owen try to get on with his life, hold down a job, “become a man” and a “productive member of society” in his words. Just like I tried to start over several times after massive breakdowns where my Isabel almost escaped.

Which is what makes the ending so brilliant. During an episode he later blames on his meds, Owen cuts open his chest to discover the TV’s glow emanating from where, all those years ago, it felt like someone dug out his heart with a shovel. It’s the film’s final message to us, not to be afraid. Isabel and Owen’s path after that isn’t clear, but the overwhelming emotional release Isabel gets after so many years in hiding is so evident on Owen’s face and in his body language that I truly believe this is finally her moment. Schoenbrun leaves that up to us to decide.

Being transgender in a world designed to exclude, demoralize, and devalue you is messy and painful. I often took refuge in my own fictional worlds, not unlike those of The Pink Opaque, and my truth, my Isabel, was so ready to emerge, only for me to stuff her back down before I’d even recognized who she was. Unlike Isabel, I didn’t have a Tara, or a Maddy. I didn’t have anyone who understood the hole in my chest or why I’d routinely dissociate in the middle of conversations or visits with the few friends I kept close.

And I really wish that I had. The true horror of Schoenbrun’s work here is not only what we do to ourselves through dysphoria and fear, it’s also the people we lose, our trans siblings, to the belief that everyone needs to figure this out on their own. How many Isabels are never found, and how many lives are only partially realized . Which is why Tara tries so hard to get to Isabel and turn her gaze inwards. When she reappears in Isabel’s life, she has gone through that death and rebirth, burying herself alive only to emerge, not Maddy, but Tara. And she knows that Isabel is trapped, that Mr. Melancholy is everywhere and is driving her into the ground. He drives us into the ground.

As queer folk, we often recognize other queer and trans people, before they recognize it themselves. We call that being an “egg”, and the realization that they’re not cisgender or heterosexual is known as cracking said egg. I Saw The TV Glow is going to crack some eggs for sure, but it won’t be the only thing that is required for some of us to get to that stage. We also need to start dismantling the decades of trauma that have lead us to the belief that we can’t hold space for and help other queers find themselves. Because our Isabels never truly die, but if they never truly live, then isn’t that the same as dying, in the end?

There is still time.

It was similar words that finally unlocked the closet door for me. I was depressed, scared of who I might be but hating who I thought I was. I had spent fifteen years living a persona I created in high school to cover up my Isabel such that she would never get out again, having been tormented in elementary and junior high schools for my effeminate nature and general distrust of boys. If I had to be one, I just had to make it livable, much like Owen says he’s “becoming a man” by sinking into his work and trying to ignore that everything that brings him joy is dying. I had been married, had several failed relationships, and had no schooling, money, or joy to my name. I was ready to give up for good.

But a friend of mine, a playwright, finally reached me through their art, and gave me the keys to my destiny, an experience that I’ll always be grateful to them for. Sometimes, the pain of dissociation and loss is too great for us to bear alone. And that’s what I Saw The TV Glow was for me. A call to action, to take up arms against the Midnight Realm with our Taras and our Isabels and be there for our trapped fellow queers. Because we can’t expect a world whose hatred for us deepens every day to provide all of the tools and clues necessary for self discovery. I know this won’t be a message that sits well with everyone, and I’m not suggesting the only solution to teenage discomfort is to be trans, but it may well be the only the solution for those of us trapped under the shovel and spell of Mr. Melancholy. That should be enough to try. There may still be time, but purgatory, the Midnight Realm, will sap us of all we have to live for, and as trans people, we deserve better than that, because we are The Pink Opaque.

#queer cinema #queer films #i saw the tv glow

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cursed-man-prayers · 1 year ago

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seven, heartstopper, & the love of queer childhood

Please picture me in the trees I hit my peak at seven

Seven has been one of my favorite Taylor Swift songs since it came out in 2020. Its placement on the album, the structure of its lyrics, and even the production highlight the themes of a childhood bond that stretches beyond concrete memory and, in my opinion, the experience of being a queer kid.

Month ago, Alice Oseman said in an Instagram story that seven is a Tara/Darcy song. When I watched s2.ep8 of Heartstopper and seven came on as Tara and Darcy repeated declared their (romantic, sapphic/lesbian) love for each other, I cried. As it continued over the prom "after party" scene, I sobbed.

At its core, Heartstopper is about queer youth and found family, bonds that go deeper than the average teenage friendship. There's a lightness that runs through the show, even as difficult subjects are navigated. Darcy's abusive mother, Nick's struggle to support Charlie, Charlie's suffering mental health. So much queer media gets driven to dark, hopeless places. There's a reason the Bury Your Gays trope is so infamous. Heartstopper is subversive in its joy and hopefulness. I can't think of a better Taylor song to fit that message than seven.

I've been meaning to tell you I think your house is haunted Your dad is always mad and that must be why

I think you should come live with me and we can be pirates then you won't have to cry

While these lyrics aren't included in the scene, I think the context matters (especially the next line but we'll get to that). There's this innocent perspective of living in an unsafe or abusive home, that, regardless of the actual cause, leads the narrator to ask the muse to run away with them. In an earlier episode, Nick and Charlie talk about running away to Paris together. In the comics, Darcy jokes about moving in with Tara. During the sleepover in episode 1, the squad jokes about moving in with Tao. Heartstopper is about more than just Nick and Charlie. Since season one, we've seen the group find each other or become closer. The reason the show works is that, despite the realities of homophobia, transphobia, mental illness, etc., there is joy and safety and protection in the friend group.

Or hide in the closet

When the lyrics come back after an instrumental break, the edit of the song/scene highlights this lyric. Which makes sense, considering a major theme of the season was the realities of coming out and being out. But you won't have to...hide in the closet isn't really about being out and open to the entire world or your family. It's about not having to hide around the people who truly love you for who you are.

During the fight between Darcy and her mother at the end of ep7, Darcy yells My friends love me. As in, "even if you don't love or accept me the way I am, I know the people who do." The moment over which seven plays is the moment where Darcy lets down her guard long enough to accept and give that love from/to Tara. And then we watch the rest of the group give and accept that love with each other.

Passed down like folk songs, the love lasts so long

#gaylor #gaylor swift #heartstopper #taylor swift #heartstopper season 2 #tara darcy #folklore #nick and charlie

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nerdyvocals · 1 year ago

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I'll Cut My Hair (To Make You Stare)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: F/F

Fandom: Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies (TV)

Relationship: Lydia/Cynthia Zdunowski

Characters:, Cynthia Zdunowski, Papa Zdunowski, Jane Facciano, Olivia Valdovinos, Lydia (Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies)

Additional Tags: Fic Exchange, hair cutting fic, cutting someone's hair can be so sapphic, The Pink Ladies know, Sleepovers, closet makeouts, they deserve normal high school experiences dammit, minor language, meet the parents, first "i love you's", Cooking Dinner Together, what if I shove a bunch of tropes into one fic, who would stop me, hair is an important part of Cynthia Zdunowski's identity, Fluffy, Cynthia Zdunowski has sensory issues, Betaed

Language: English

Collections: Lynthia Fic Gift Exchange 2023

Stats: Published: 2023-10-02, Words: 7,610, Chapters: 1/1

Summary: Your appearance is the ultimate expression of who you are, and something as simple as a haircut can change your life.

(Title from "This is Home" by Cavetown.)

Notes: For penguinwritesbooks.

My only instruction was to have fun, and boy did I! Penguin, I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

When the ends of her hair touch the base of her neck, Cynthia knows it’s time for a haircut.

To be fair, there are other signs as well, many of which that come well before this point, but haircuts were a tedious chore, and the problem with these early signs was that they were easy to ignore. Cynthia liked her hair cropped short; a little shaggy around the ears, with bangs that fell just to her brow. Whenever her bangs encroach on her vision, it was a sign she needed a trim. But she could steal grease from the boys to push them back, and she wouldn’t notice. The next sign came when her ears disappeared fully under the mass of strands. But she could tuck the wayward locks behind her ears and forget their length.

The back of her head, however, was hard to ignore when overgrown. She didn’t pay it much attention at any other time. She couldn’t see the back of her own head, so why should she concern herself with what it looked like? But overgrown was another story. Overgrown meant itchy strands creeping under her collar, brushing across the nape of her neck, scuttling across her skin like phantom bugs, and sending horrible little shivers down her spine.

So when she woke to that familiar, creeping scratch, she knew it was time. But of course, the thought came along with the realization that she’d forgotten to set her alarm clock the night before, and now had a mere ten minutes to sprint out the door if she wanted to make it to school on time. Somehow, she didn’t think she could fit a haircut in that window.

Cynthia jolted out of bed with a start and flew to her closet, grabbing and shimmying into the first shirt and skirt her hands touched; a horrible clash of color and pattern that Nancy was sure to give her shit for later. From there, she hopped down the hall to the bathroom, pulling socks she hoped were clean over her feet as she went, vaguely aware of the phone ringing and her dad’s voice answering. In the bathroom, she squeezed a drop of Ipana onto her toothbrush from a tube that was long past the point of needing to be replaced. She scrubbed at her teeth for approximately three seconds before spitting the foam down the sink. Reaching for her comb, she spared herself a glance at her reflection in the mirror, and yeah, she definitely needed that haircut.

The sides of her hair almost reached her chin. Or at least the right side did; the left side was sticking straight up where she slept on it. Her bangs were long enough to be ruffled by a particularly strong huff of breath. She didn’t want to think about what was happening in the back at this point. If she had a hair ribbon, she wouldn’t be surprised if she was able to tie at least part of it up in the world’s worst ponytail. This was, without a doubt, the longest her hair had been in years. How had she let it come to this?

Continue reading on AO3

#it's been a month since the exchange began #I think it's probably safe to add this to my masterlist now #I hope you enjoyed!#grease rise of the pink ladies #rise of the pink ladies #cynthia x lydia #lynthia #rotpl #thesbians #grease rotpl #save our pinks

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closetedlesbianthoughts · 7 years ago

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Sleepover Sunday

Send us:

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Anything!!

Ask us stuff:

Have you evers

Truth or dares

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FMK(Or Hug, Marry, Kick)

About our crushes/significant others

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Recommend stuff

If you want a specific mod to answer please specify!!

#closeted sapphic sleepover #mod nyx #come hang out with us!!!#talk to us!!!!!#send us stuff!!!#have some fun!!!!

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bisluthq · 4 years ago

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*WARNING Domestic violence topic* Could you explain to me why seven could sound queer?, Like I can see how many Taylor songs can be interpreted in a queer way, but with seven I can't see it, like for me it's clearly about domestic violence and the only possible queer thing I can hear it's the closet part...but in this particular case I do not think it refers to sexuality but to literally hiding form your abusive parents. Sorry if this was asked before or if it's disrespectful to ask.

So firstly let me just say that victims of abuse who hear that in the song are so valid. And I’m not here to “take away” a song that speaks to that experience. If it brings you comfort and relief, that’s amazing.

Do I think Taylor meant it as a song about domestic violence or escaping from that? Honestly, no. Because she described herself in LPSS as longing for that time in her life and talked about how she misses being able to throw tantrums and feel more freely and without judgement; in her head she’s thinking about this period in her life very fondly. Now, this is one of those death of the author moments because if you’re an abuse survivor who found comfort in this you... shouldn’t care wtf Taylor meant by it, what matters is what it means to you. Same as how if betty speaks to your sapphic teenage love triangle, it shouldn’t matter that Taylor imagined James as a boy.

But yeah, so for Taylor it was not meant to be about abuse. It was about feeling stuff more freely. And let’s take a look and examine at why it feels so fucking gay to... like... basically every queer woman.

Please picture me

In the trees

I hit my peak at seven

Okay so Taylor is setting up a narrator - presumably herself. Especially in the context of her hyperconfessional marketing and the LPSS explanation we’re literally meant to picture Tay. But tbh that doesn’t matter so much - it could be any little girl. This little girl is “in the trees”... which isn’t really where little girls are supposed to be. In these very first lines Tay is setting up a little tomboy character.... and then she says “I hit my peak at seven” - ergo this rugrat period of abandon, where I was free to play in the trees, is “my peak”. It was the best time in “my” life.

Lots of people feel that, it’s not inherently gay, but for queer women - I don’t know about other shades of queer but suspect yes - childhood often represents even greater freedom than to hets because it’s before we felt deviant. There was nothing to compare ourselves to. Sure, we might’ve played families in het couples like heteronormativity is felt by children too, but that kind of thing was largely asexual and we didn’t know yet that other people felt differently about it all.

Like I only realized I was different in late middle school and I didn’t have the word for it for ages tbh. Like I just knew I didn’t get the fuss about boys. When I was a little kid? I didn’t know what the fuss was really. It was a kind of “peak” so yeah, I feel that in my bones.

Feet

In the swing

Over the creek

I was too scared to jump in, but I, I was high

In the sky

Here we have her playing, once again with reckless abandon - she’s standing on a swing (naughty!) and swinging high over a creek. But she’s slightly nervous. I relate to that too, it’s not a gay thought it’s a little kid thought I think - because while she’s enjoying her freedom and the chance to play, there’s an awareness of the risk. That’s a lot of childhood and what makes her such a greater songwriter is how she’s able to capture these feelings we’ve all had before, in this case the rumbunctious nature of free play paired with the cautious nervousness of knowing you can fall.

With Pennsylvania under me

I mean this simple makes it more autobiographical for her, like if we didn’t know her was her that was the me , now we really do.

Are there still beautiful things?

This is speaks to her nostalgia for this time period and serves to highlight how much she misses it. She wishes she was young and innocent and had that freedom of playing in the trees and above the creek and feeling like she’s flying just because she’s standing upright on the swing. This is meant to be her “peak”.

Sweet tea in the summer

Cross your heart, won't tell no other

The first line is setting up mood again, it’s innocence and suburbia and freedom and the hot days of summer vacation. The second is a common English phrase - for the ESL folks - that means “let’s keep a secret”. It’s extremely common for little girls especially to have secrets with each other. “You’re my best friend and I’ll tell you something I haven’t told anyone else before but cross your heart you won’t tell anyone else” is the kind of thing that has probably happened at a sleepover for every woman (gay or straight). So Tay’s whispering and telling secrets to her best friend aged seven in the heat of the summer and the neat rhymes kinda remind me of those clapping games you play as a kid.

And though I can't recall your face

I still got love for you

Again, I think this isn’t specific to gay kids necessarily - it’s that idea of having lifelong affection for your first best friend even when you don’t know where they are, can’t imagine them in adulthood, maybe can’t even remember their surname and frankly don’t really want to or care... but you still have warm feelings towards them.

Your braids like a pattern

Love you to the moon and to Saturn

So the friend is a girl. And here’s where the non wlw readers will have to work with me a little bit because as I’ve explained before a very common, enteral part of the queer female experience is obsession with other girls’ femininities. We notice things like hair and clothes and makeup on girls far more than straight girls seem to and waaay more than het guys do. A friend of mine who is v butch noticed like minor shit that any of us change in our appearance. Describing in detail a girl’s appearance feels - on a gut level - pretty gay. Now this isn’t a detailed description, but she links this physical trait - this pretty, braided hair her friend has - to loving her.

Now, she is a child in this story. This isn’t a sexual kind of thing in the child’s mind. She’s obviously not “in love” with her friend aged seven. But she is saying her deep, overwhelming love for her friend is inextricably linked - via rhyme scheme - to her feminine appearance.

This incredibly close, quasi homoerotic friendship is a near universal wlw experience and I’m sorry but it differs from straight girls’ close friendships because it’s... a lot. It is “love you to the moon and to Saturn” and obsessing over her clothes and hair and little habits.

And there’s no vocab for this, nothing to prepare you for it and nobody bats an eye because little girls are supposed to be friends with one another but like... you’re way overinvested and often that other girl isn’t and starts to drift away because she isn’t having this language free connection and it’s legit heartbreaking.

Passed down like folk songs

The love lasts so long

This childhood friendship becomes an anecdote, a moment of folkloric storytelling, but it never completely fades away and tapping into this first - not quite sexual but very sapphic - experience is super easy.

And I've been meaning to tell you

I think your house is haunted

Your dad is always mad and that must be why

And I think you should come live with

Me and we can be pirates

This sets up the narrative some people - I understand where y’all are coming from and I am here for it - hear of domestic abuse. The thing is, it’s not Tay’s character who is getting abused. Tay is a small child - and she’s envious of and nostalgic for that era of her life, when she thought that her best best best friend’s asshole dad was simply reacting to ghosts. It speaks to an innocence her character has which may not be shared by her friend, the girl with the braids.

But Tay is innocent and she says “come with me” and run away so we can be pirates together. Now, on a very basic and superficial pop culture level it’s worth noting Keira Knightley in POTC is pretty fundamental to any queer millennial woman’s sexual awakening. However, that’s not what Tay’s referencing here. She’s saying, at least on some level, let’s run away and be gender nonconforming. Again, she’s a small child. She doesn’t know why she wants that. But she doesn’t tell her friend “let’s run away and be princesses” - she wants to be a pirate. It links to the first scene in the song of her being a tomboy in the trees and on the swing, honestly. There were also a number of cross dressing female pirates, many of whom were gay back in the day so it’s a subtle nod to how a lot of childhood fantasies actually are rooted in possible historical fact.

But also come on, every queer girl wanted to be a pirate idk why really we just did. Like I say I can explain it as a desire not to conform to gender norms but it’s also just... another weirdly common fantasy that she’s tapping into.

Like idk this song is so fucking gay and it’s not trying to be but every line is just... felt in my bones. Like little me is seen by this song.

Then you won't have to cry

Or hide in the closet

This is obvi the line people go on about and look. The friend’s dad is clearly an asshole like that’s established. But the line has a double meaning. She’s saying if you run away with me to be a pirate on the high seas you won’t have to cry anymore and you won’t hide in the closet. It’s an innocent thought but it’s also a double meaning, right? You won’t be abused, you won’t be sad. And you’ll be with me out of the closet. It could’ve been “hide under the bed” or “behind the curtains”. But she picked closet. And that word gives this verse a second meaning, which is particularly palpable given as I say this is a very gay song from a thematic standpoint.

And just like a folk song

Our love will be passed on

Again, this is a deeeeep love. This is someone she wants to run away with. And she probably doesn’t know why, she probably doesn’t have the words. She’s a little kid. But this friend of hers is the person she wants to rescue and run away with and be together with even though she - Tay - is pretty content otherwise. In fact, she longs for this time in her life. It was full of beautiful things. And yet despite being happy, she was willing to drop it all for her little female friend she was clearly preoccupied with.

Please picture me

In the weeds

Before I learned civility

I used to scream

Ferociously

Any time I wanted

I, I

Again, this reiterates she is nostalgic for this time period. It was a good time in Taylor’s life. It was a time when she could be herself, before she had learned civility and what was expected from her by society. Which ties back to that thing I said right in the beginning, about how this first quasi sapphic friendship is cherished by queer women because we didn’t know it was weird. We hadn’t “learned civility” yet. We could scream, we could run around and climb trees, and we could ask our friends to run away with us not knowing those thoughts didn’t occur to them with the same intensity.

Sweet tea in the summer

Cross my heart, won't tell no other

And though I can't recall your face

I still got love for you

We’ve discussed this already. It’s still queer coded to me.

Pack your dolls and a sweater

We'll move to India forever

Passed down like folk songs

Our love lasts so long

So she’s once again cementing the fact that this is a little female friend with the dolls, and again suggests running away together and says even though none of that happened and she grew up and realized this... was actually a fairly specific experience not a universal universal one and she learned civility and heteronormativity but this foundational, pure, innocent gay love... will always remain in its complete innocuous harmlessness but immense power.

And so, yeah. This song is probably Taylor’s gayest shortly followed by Treacherous.

But if it means something else to you, I’m by no means taking it away. Anyone can enjoy her music in any way they like.

It’s just weird that most queer women feel their childhood selves are completely seen by this song if it was a complete accident 🤷🏻‍♀️

#tw domestic violence #tw domestic abuse #sapphic themes in tay’s music

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tthankstoyou · 3 years ago

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on the topic of her being a nerd, i feel like she’d be super into anime. like that girl would own a body pillow that she hides away in a closet whenever friends come over

Explain👀

it’s not really based off of anything canon, it’s more a vibe i get from her 🤪

i like to headcanon that she was really into sailor moon as a kid and that sailor uranus and neptune was the first time she was exposed to a sapphic relationship. sailor uranus would be her favorite and that’s who she’d have the body pillow of. she’d go to sleep hugging it, wishing it was brittany. but since she was definitely not out yet, she’d hide it away when the cheerios came over for sleepovers. i also think she’d be too embarrassed to show it to brittany 😫🥴 (+ as @thepowerofmadonnaorwhatever pointed out, santana did have a “body pillow” (it wasn’t really one, but it’s similar) in new york)

when she started discovering her sexuality through sleeping with brittany, she randomly decided to rewatch sailor moon…. i can see this being a really emotional thing for her. like seeing two women in love on screen and crying about how she wishes it was just that easy. she wants to love brittany like that, but she’s too scared

#asks #nonny

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sapphicsinthecloset · 8 years ago

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That closeted sapphic feel when you stay for a sleep over with your crush.

Sleepover by Hayley Kiyoko plays in the distance

#mod cyan

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dont-feel-like-boys · 7 years ago

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I’m so flattered you want to know all this about me!! Thankyou so much!

1. femme or butch? alreadyanswered!

2. do you have atype? I’m not quite sure if I have a hardcore “type,” but I’m definitelymore drawn to girls with short hair who are really confident.

3. plaid button-upsor leather jackets? plaid button-ups!

4. describe yourstyle. already answered.

5. describe youraesthetic. already answered!

6. favorite articleof clothing? I haven’t really thought of this so I don’t really know! I guessuhhh my cute pink bralette, and a tie-dye shirt that says “end the war onnipples.”

7. favorite pair ofshoes? already answered.

8. current haircut? longand straight with a side part and it’s in desperate need of a cut. maybe I’llreblog a picture from my primary blog later so you can see!

9. any haircut goalsfor the future? other than cutting off my dead-ends, I don’t think so!

10. describe the bestdate you’ve been on. I haven’t gone a date ever!

11. describe theworst date you’ve been on. see above lol

12. single? taken? singleaf.

13. if taken, talkabout your girlfriend or wife! n/a

14. if single, whatare you looking for in a girlfriend or wife? I want a girlfriend/wife who’sfunny, loyal, and honest—like brutally honest if she has to be! and alsooutgoing and fun!

15. describe yourdream wedding. a small-ish ceremony in a botanical garden or something likeit with a reception in a big banquethall in a skyscraper overlooking the city (whichever one I end up in).

16. do you want kids?hell no.

17. if you could liveanywhere in the world, where would you live? probably nyc, D.C, or paris

18. favorite lesbianmovie? already answered.

19. favorite lesbiannovel/story? like the movie question, I haven’t read many lesbian booksyet! but I’ll get on that really fast now.

20. favorite lesbiansong? sleepover and pretty girl (both by Hayley Kiyoko, of course!)

21. favorite lesbianmusician? um all of them? fr though, who would I be if I didn’t say HayleyKiyoko

22. what lesbianstereotypes do you fit into, if any? I don’t really think I fit into any ofthem?

23. ever been assumedto be nothing more than a gal pal? I haven’t had anything but gal pals so…no lol

24. if a woman wantedto woo you, what would be a surefire way to accomplish that? um literallyjust talk to me lmao. but seriously, if you make me laugh or compliment me,there’s a 98% chance I’m already in love with you.

25. be positive! whatdo you like most about being a lesbian? I love this question! my favorite partof being a lesbian is girls, of course. but also just having solidarity withall the other sapphic girls out there and just being a part of the gaycommunity.

26. are you more of acat person or a dog person? already answered!

27. turn ons? um…whengirls play with my hair or sing (badly or well, idc) or cook! I love girls whocook!!

28. turn offs? I guesswhen someone’s an asshole for no reason or without realizing it.

29. do you usuallyask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you? oh boy the day Iask a girl out is the day hell freezes over, that’s way too scary lol. Idefinitely wait for them to make the first move.

30. what is yourdream career? I want to edit lgbt and/or feminist fiction or be an editorfor a feminist magazine.

31. talk about yourinterests or hobbies! reading, writing, surprisingly I actually enjoydiscussing politics when it isn’t a screaming match. I also do embroidery, butnot that well tbh.

32. what is the mostattractive quality a woman can have? I don’t want to sound like a crustystraight boy, but confidence. not like infallible, never-ending confidence but Ithink it’s so attractive when a woman is sure of herself.

33. do you loveeasily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone? it definitelydoesn’t take time, that’s for sure. I guess it’s quick for me to fall in love(platonically or otherwise) but it takes me a while to realize.

34. ever fallen foryour best friend? already answered.

35. ever fallen for astraight girl? already answered.

36. the L-word. yes orno? already answered!

37. favorite comfortfood? mac and cheese! and pie, or really any baked good except forcupcakes/cake.

38. coffee or tea? definitelycoffee although I love both!39. vegetarian? vegan? none of theabove? none!

40. do you have anypets? I have 3 dogs (2 shih tzus and a maltese), 3 cats, and about 10 fish.

41. early-riser ornight-owl? both? and it depends on the day. I can stay up till 3 am or goto bed at 11:30. but I’ll always wake up before 9 am.

42. what is yoursign? I’m a Taurus! my bday is may 12.

43. what is your Meyers-Briggstype? ENTP!

44. who was your firstlesbian crush? uhhh Hayley Kiyoko? and Lady Gaga.

45. at what age didyou know you were a lesbian? already answered!

46. at what age didyou come out? when I thought I was bi, I came out at 18 (last September),but now that I know I’m a lesbian, I’m like half out of the closet? everyoneeither knows I’m a lesbian or still thinks I’m bi, but I’m kinda just lettingeveryone figure it out themselves.

47. are you crushingon anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise?) I’m not really crushingon anyone right now, celebrity or not.

48. talk about howyour day went. well, it’s only 11 am right now, but so far it’s gone well!I’m hopefully gonna find eclipse glasses (haven’t done that yet lol) and watchthe solar eclipse later but who knows?

49. talk about yourdreams/aspirations for your future. well, I want to be an editor, hopefullylive in a big city, have a wife and a lot of cats, and not suck financially lol

thank you again forasking for all of this!!

#me #saltypeaceheart #ask #asnwered #lesbian #lgbt #gay #thank you so much!!!

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