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smolkooks · 4 months ago

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incoming call... (part ii) - kenji sato

a/n: roughly 2k more words of kenji sato fluff! sequel to 'incoming call...' link to part i

ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚

“ouch!”

you snickered, “ken, i told you not to get too close! she doesn’t like strangers,” you leant down to scratch the little kitten’s cheeks, and because she knew you and you were undoubtedly her best friend, she purred in contentment, all the while giving kenji sato an irritated glare.

the nickname—ken—slipped off your tongue smoothly, the same way you��d been saying it for the past few months that you’d been spending around your highschool sweetheart. even though you’d been apart for so many years and hadn’t seen each other for so long, it had been easy to slip back into an old rhythm.

“fuck, i didn’t know she’d actually bite me, she looks so tiny,” he hissed, shaking his reddened finger.

“size means nothing when it comes to animals,” you retorted, and despite the way you rolled your eyes, you still handed him an ice pack from your freezer, “take this, big baby.”

he huffed but took it anyway, pressing it to his injury.

it had become a bit of a routine—after his games, he’d come over to your clinic to visit you while you handled the late-night clean ups. the rest of the vet team headed home at closing, but with no kids or family to care for, you often spent your evenings here, keeping the animals company and handling some of the extra paper work.

“how’s emi doing, by the way?” you said as you refilled some of the water bowls. most of the animals were sleeping at this time, but you still liked to make sure they were all fed and watered. in fact, it was better to do it while they were asleep—less whinging from the little babies for treats.

“she’s doing well,” he said, and it was his turn to roll his eyes as he leant against the bench, “attitude and all, as always.”

“she’s a teenage girl,” you said with a laugh, “it’s so normal. i was one, so i can affirm.”

“mhm,” he said, eyes gleaming, “i remember.”

it was weird, toeing this line with kenji sato. so long ago, you’d been each other’s universes and after separating to go to university, the two of you had been sucked into different orbits—him going into baseball in the states, and you pursuing veterinary medicine in australia. it almost felt like fate nudging you, having the two of you run into each other—back in japan all these years later.

saving you from responding, his phone rang at that very moment. being around kenji all these weeks had gotten you used to his late night calls—how he’d have to run off to take care of the city. but this call seemed to come from one of his teammates, with the familiar way he addressed the person on the other side of the line.

he’d told you that at first he didn’t have any friends here, too busy to do anything but work. but now, he’d grown close to plenty of his teammates and of course, he had you.

“yeah well, i’m kinda busy right now actually...why?” you overheard him say as you busied yourself with some clean up and tried not to look like you were eavesdropping, “oh...oh! yeah uh—what?! what the...” his change in tone piqued your interest.

“...right, thanks for telling me, i’ll call you back later, yuta. thanks...” he hung up, and turned sharply to you, meeting your awaiting gaze, “the press caught you, uh, getting into my car.”

you frowned, confused at the problem with that, considering it wasn’t at all illegal for kenji to have friends.

“they’re blowing it up,” he said, running a hand through his hair and messing it up again, “i...i don’t mind, but i don’t want it to hurt you, that’s all.”

you waved his concerns off, “it’s whatever, to me. as long as it doesn’t harm your reputation, i don’t really have a public image to maintain. my patients don’t care who i date or don’t date.”

date? you felt flustered the moment those words left your lips. even though the two of you had been getting closer again and flirting and doing things that one would do while dating, neither of you had clarified the boundary yet.

kenji seemed equally as flustered and didn’t address what you’d said, not wanting to embarrass you, “you’re right,” he smiled crookedly, and you returned one back despite your racing heart.

***

the moment you stepped into your mum’s house, you were bombarded.

“what’s this about you dating kenji again!” she exclaimed, shutting the door behind you and ushering you into your childhood living room, “i haven’t seen that boy in decades. and since when were you—,”

“what, mum?” you cut her off sharply, even as she shoved you into a chair and poured you hot tea, sitting down opposite you eagerly, “i’m not dating him? plus, where’d you even—,”

she shoved the article in your face before you could even finish the question, her phone screen so bright that it took your eyes a second to adjust. “mum, your phone’s so bright, it can’t be good for your eyes.”

“not important, y/n,” she snapped hurriedly, “look at it.”

blinking your eyes to focus, you finally saw the image clearly. it really did look like you were dating. the window of kenji’s porsche was wound down, and you were leant over towards him, pressed so close to him in a way you didn’t remember doing, even though you knew that you’d only been reaching over to grab the gum from his glovebox. the way he was looking at you, though—you hadn’t noticed in the moment. it was really full of adoration, eyes glittering with a love you remembered so clearly from your highschool days, and his arm was reached out around you in a way you also hadn’t noticed before.

“explain,” your mum demanded, although she didn’t seem annoyed, she seemed...quite excited, the way her eyes were suspiciously bright, “i miss seeing that lovely boy around.”

embarrassed, especially as your eyes scanned over the headline—baseball star kenji sato’s new sweetheart?!—you stuttered, “uh, i ran into him a few weeks ago and we’ve been hanging out, you know, at the clinic.”

“well, then, what are you doing in his car?” she rushed, waving her phone around again, “doesn’t look like the clinic to me. and look—,” she scrolled down a bit further to another picture, this one even more incriminating.

it was you, tucked in the audience of one of kenji’s baseball games, dressed in his team colours, cheering amongst the other vip guests sitting amongst you—friends and family of the players.

“well—,”

“i’m not hearing it,” she cut you off, a grin breaking out, “you’re bringing him over! i can’t believe it—my daughter and kenji, reunited,” she sighed happily, “i was worried you would never settle down, you know.”

flustered, you didn’t even bother to object, sagging in your seat at her insistence.

***

“y/n, i’m really sorry, i didn’t think it’d be that bad,” he said hurriedly as he followed you up the stairs to your apartment, “i’m really sorry. i’m trying to get them to take it down but you know how—,”

you whirled around as you shut the door to your apartment after letting him in, “my mum wants to see you.”

“huh?”

you sighed, switching on the lights and throwing yourself onto your couch, “she saw the article and couldn’t stop going on about how i was finally settling down and how she needed to see you again.”

he ran a hand through his hair, “you...don’t mind?”

“kenji,” you sat up straight, beckoning him over, “i don’t mind. and i wouldn’t mind...”

the silence was loud, the only sound in the room the quiet humming of your lights and the traffic outside, as he sat down beside you, sinking into the cushions.

you knew you didn’t have to finish your sentence. kenji sato knew you too well. he met your eyes and pulled you close, hugging you to his chest. you breathed in his scent—clean, and a little tinted with fish. you’d found out that he often had to go fishing—diving, more like—for emi’s dinners, and that was why he was so often around your apartment block...to fish in the river like a weirdo.

“y/n...”

you hummed, waiting for him to continue as you pressed your face into his chest.

“i really meant it when i said i missed you, back when we first saw each other again,” he began, and you smiled into his skin, “i was so lonely. drained, and it was like fate—seeing you that day saved me, i swear. you were all i could think about. i couldn’t...i couldn’t imagine never seeing you again.”

“kenji,” you murmured, leaning back to look at him earnestly, “i missed you, too.”

“what i’m trying to say is,” he swallowed, looking down before looking up to meet your gaze again, “i...i wanna date you, y/n. if you’ll have me,” suddenly shy, he flushed a bit at his own words.

you smiled at how sweet it was, how shy he seemed and also how your stomach fluttered with butterflies, “ken, of course i’ll have you. you’re all i want.”

you’d barely finished your sentence when his lips met yours in a gentle, soft kiss. you couldn’t really put it into words, how it felt to kiss kenji again after all these years. it felt like coming home. it felt like taking all the colours of the sunset and smearing it across a canvas. it felt like drinking warm milk tea. you hummed into the kiss as he deepened it, pulling you closer by the nape of your neck, and you reached up to tangle your hands in his dark locks, pulling him down towards you at the same time.

you were so close to him you could feel his heartbeat—almost hear it, and you hoped he couldn’t hear how quickly yours was racing. he tasted of caramel, and you couldn’t help but sigh as his hands slid down to your waist, pulling you onto his lap as you broke apart from the kiss, curling into him in a hug.

“y/n,” he murmured, keeping his arms wrapped around you, “i really, really missed you.”

you’d missed him too. his little habits, his dishevelled hair—fish smell, and all. you’d missed him more than anything.

finally, you’d come home.

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honeydazai · 4 months ago

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୨୧·࣭࣪̇˖ taking care of you when you're sick

feat.: Dazai, Chūya, Ranpo, Fyodor, Nikolai, Sigma

warnings: none!

join my tag list here! 🪻

The moment you fall sick, DAZAI gets all the more annoying, obnoxious to the core as he whines about how unfair it is that you're sick and he's not — translating to “that you don't have to go to work and he does”. He might just use your sickness as an excuse to stay at home himself; after all, when you're in this critical of a condition, he has to be by your side at all times, right? Just in case of an emergency. Surely Kunikida and the President agree.

Taking care of others or even of himself isn't what he's particularly good at, though he will pretend to be absolutely certain about cuddling being a certain cure for any illness. If you threaten to give him the cold shoulder otherwise, he'll also go to the pharmacy and buy you medication, though he will either complain about it, or he'll play it up to be his God-given mission to save his stunning girlfriend's life.

“Hm? What do you mean, bella? Of course I've got the President's 'okay' for staying at home. Taking care of you is most important, after all, don't you agree? .. Don't be mean, I am taking care of you. I made you tea just now, didn't I?"

CHŪYA really doesn't like it whenever you're sick. While he's faced a handful of way more threatening situations before, he can't help but worry when you whine about your head hurting and your throat aching, about your stomach acting up or your vision blurring. It's not his fault that you're on his mind all day — he just wants you to be well. Is that too much to ask for?

Naturally, that translates to him being awfully good when it comes to him nursing you back to health. He wouldn't describe himself as a natural caretaker, but he is, in a way; he's protective and caring by nature, and he makes sure you're relatively well before he leaves for work every day. You don't just get the best medication on the market, but also energising meals made by him with the help of authentic recipes from elderly women he found online. To not fully lose his image, he half-heartedly complains occasionally, though his words are immediately redeemed by his beaming smile when he notices you're faring better.

“Jeez, that's one annoying cold you've got. It's been, what, like two weeks now and it's still not gone. Whatever. I've found this new soup recipe, though. It looks promising enough, doesn't it? I'll try to make it for dinner.”

RANPO admittedly is rather bad at taking care of you. To be blunt, he much prefers it when you coddle and spoil him, not the other way around, though he tries in his own ways — which mostly include sharing his snacks with you and being near you despite the risk of getting infected himself.

Unfortunately, you're not spared from his usual honesty; when you look downright awful, dark circles underneath your eyes, he will tell you just that. If you flake out on any dates the two of you had planned previously, he will whine, but at least he won't hold a grudge. While he's not particularly committed to being a caretaker, he at least stays by your side and brings you medicine and painkillers.

“You should eat more, y'know. Yes, I know you're nauseous. You've said so about twenty times already. You won't feel any better until you eat and drink enough, though. That's common sense.”

Naturally, FYODOR is more than simply good at taking care of you whenever you fall ill. With his age, it's no wonder that he has quite some experience and knows of many ways to heal you, though some of them might include disgusting homebrewed potions. You're best of just not asking what they're made of if you want to have any chance in downing them.

Unfortunately, his approach to helping you regain your health is more clinical than loving. He takes wonderful care of you, but he's not the type to cuddle with you and whisper sweet nothings in your ear while you're sneezing and coughing. If you ask sweetly enough, however, he might just read you a bedtime story or two.

“What is it, dear? I was just going to get you a new glass of water. .. Ah, I see. Do you really want me to stay that badly? Alright, then. Though me remaining by your side won't give you an excuse to skip taking your medication.”

It's no surprise whatsoever that NIKOLAI is not the most caring guy, simply put, and he might just tease you about being sick throughout the whole ordeal. He can't help it; you glaring at him, exhausted and sneezing, makes him giggle. Still, he's not all bad — he revels all the more in your surprised expression when he presents you with homemade soup, a family recipe, or so he tells you, and he smiles, content, when you admit that it tastes rather lovely.

With his ability, it's easy for him to get whatever you might need, whether that's food or a cup of tea or a bucket to throw up in, from the kitchen without moving from your bedside, so be prepared to spend quite a lot of time with him in the next few days — or weeks. Though, luckily, he's there to entertain you, not the other way around; when you say you want to curl up and just sleep the sickness off, he'll just keep watch next to you, silent and calm. After all, he does want you to feel better.

“Hmm, what did you say? You like my cooking? I'm honoured, doll! You're too kind! How about a quiz about what I put in there — poison, carrots, red beet, or all three? Ah, not feeling up for it, are you? What a shame. It's all three, if you're curious. I'm just kidding, of course. Don't you worry your pretty little head.”

SIGMA is the best choice for who to go to when ill. Not only is he kind and caring, he's also responsible and organised and, if you follow every step he tells you — eat his home-cooked soup, drink this medicine, sleep for as much as possible, take hot or cold compresses, inhale water with herbal essences —, you'll be at full health again in no time.

Even though he unfortunately can't stay at home all day to be by your side — duties at the casino call, even though he'd much rather not go —, he tries to spend as much time as possible with you, telling you about what has happened that day and how much he looked forward to being home with you again while your eyes flutter closed. When you've almost fallen asleep, his lips gently press against your forehead, even if that means he risks getting sick himself.

“Are you feeling better yet? No? Well, that's to be expected. It's only been a day, after all. I've brought you some more medicine, as well as some soup. Here, give it a taste, will you?”

@chxrry-doll @irethepotato @beandaifuku, @the-foreigner , @ranpobb, @arixsux, @dei-lilxc , @atsyushi @satoruislove @pastelsbaby @marina-and-the-memes @texchou @shiggysredhead @savagemickey03 @rosepxtlz @nikolaiswife @okura-s @ladykatakuri @lunerenzo @berywritesstuff @xelia25 @yuuotosaka3 @double-black-dazai @alice0blog @fyodorstolenushanka @ttaiyaki @itsnovariella @C4xcocoa

@black-rose-29 @fyodorscumsock @ayshaashaya @qxxstuff @serenareiss @atsvsh1 @dilucshandholder @reiikonee @1-800-mocha @xvocadooo @hexiisexii @cupxfcxffee @jodidann @Happymoon16 @yumidepain @nchuuyahq @janeinerz @Aaronthegreatestsimp @fanfiction-waifu @KimxKiba @Morigumy @villainouspotential @ashthemadwriter-uwu @mrsdostoevsky @nikolaisgoofyahhhat

@yeonwoomyheartbelongstoyou @hellgirlwhore @c4xcocoa @lyrstybsd @angelsrunes @wuaoqu @disa-ster @aspookyscaryghost @nikolaisboner @urgodmoon @polish-anon @arisu-chan4646nsfw @eroscastle @somnobun @birbysaur @senpaible @hyunlixie143 @dababyurmom @4nthonyyliving @brokeniced @nikolaisdove @dxwnstxr @scinclaitnoir @snips18 @flowzel @satohruu @squigglewigglewoo @rainy-dazie @itzashlyn123 @rheeeeeeeesiees @eggcoreloser @mariaace @mello0cat @warriordemigosworld @thescrunkly @ainegueneres @maroj23 @dazaiserectnips @little-miss-chaoss @saeandscaralover @munch3025 @maidenkikyo

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fatuismooches · 4 months ago

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It may be baby fever (I shouldn't be having this I am turning TWENTY this year I don't need a CHILD 😭)

But like... Dottore holding baby. Hims with... tiny infant.

Or alternatively, Akademiya days where Zandik is working in the clinic and got an unexpectedly young patient - a baby. Cut to him just awkwardly standing there with a baby in his arms, just cradling it as his mind scrambles.

The supervisor had recommended him as a 'competent dastur-trainee' thus someone had dumped their child on him going: "Please help her—"

And he's just standing there, going:

"Wait, what—"

To no one's surprise, working in a clinic was not Zandik's first choice. He wasn't the most interested in medicine at this time, (at least not... this kind of medicine), and he'd much rather be sent out on expeditions instead. But of course, the Akademiya and their stupid policies always got in the way, making their students get a taste of things outside their Darshan. Though, as soon as you heard of this, you immediately signed up to join him. He wasn't sure if your company was a good or bad thing, considering how you teased him on the job. The work wasn't too hard, just boring if you asked him. You were always the one who comforted the patients though, that wasn't really his expertise, for obvious reasons.

However, the young scholar certainly wasn't expecting... this. It had happened before he had even processed it, the baby thrust into his arms before he could even open his mouth. Now obviously, kids and Zandik are just two things that didn't mix, he did not like them or like being around them, especially when it's a weeping baby. He's at a loss, a bit annoyed that this responsibility was just pushed onto him, and uneasy at the sensation, completely stiff and awkward. He was a smart man, but this... yeah, no.

"Oh Zandik, if you keep scowling like that, it's no wonder the poor kid is going to keep crying," you cooed from behind him. "Here, give me her." Without protest, he let you scoop the baby from his arms, soothingly rubbing her back as you took her somewhere quieter. Quite soon, you had the baby much more quieter. Needless to say, Zandik was impressed. These kinds of things took a talent and patience he simply didn't have. But then you smiled and nudged your lover, ushering the baby into his arms again.

"This is your patient, Zandik. You have to be the one to take care of her, no?" You couldn't help but giggle as he clicked his teeth, although it was much more bearable as the kid was more at ease now. And then for a moment, you took the time to burn the image into your mind, the baby snuggling right into his neck as he looked away, annoyed, despite the blush on his cheeks.

"Aww, don't be like that. You'd make a good father. I'd help you!" With a kiss on his cheek, you were off to find an actual doctor.

"... What?"

#smooches talks #dottore love notes <3 #PLS ANON... u ate with this #i love this #i dont want kids irl but having them with the harbingers makes me soft #i wrote reader being good with babies here but if this was me. id be just like dottore

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olomaya · 2 years ago

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Private Clinic - Psychiatry

18 August: This mod has been updated. Please refer to this post for more information before downloading.

Ever want to do something to help all the messed up Sims in your town? With this mod, your Sim can run a private clinic as a therapist.

You can join the Psychiatry career, buy a Therapist couch and start treating patients for all their emotional and mental maladies. Using a clinic controller object, patients will be pushed to your clinic lot in need of treatment. Active patients can be identified by the orange and white symbol over their head (pictured above).

This is the first part of a larger game mod that allows Sims to be more active doctors similar to what we have in TS4 Get to Work. Your Sim will be able to run a clinic out of their house or from a commercial lot and treat patients for different ailments. Eventually you'll be able to play as a Psychiatrist, Optometrist, Ob-GyM, or a General Physician.

This mod also adds two additional features:

Medicine - Sims can buy prescription or over-the-counter medicine to treat various mild ailments. Medicines can be purchased at the grocery store (Home section) or Buy catalog. There is also a collection file where you can find all available objects. Prescription medicine can only be obtained at the grocery store or hospital with a prescription.

Drug Addiction - Sims can get addicted to the prescription medicine if they overuse it. This can lead to withdrawal symptoms and potential overdose. There is an option to go to rehab at the hospital for Sims that need the help to kick the habit.

You need NRaas Careers (for the custom career), University, Island Paradise, Ambitions EPs.

Download instructions:

The Private Clinic main module has all the medicines, the clinic controller and addiction system. You need that to play as a Therapist but if you just want the medicines, you only need to download these files. Note that you cannot write prescriptions or do anything doctor related without downloading the Psychiatry module. Download here

There is also a collection file which has all the available objects

The Psychiatry module is required to play as a therapist. The career is optional but some features won't be available without it. Download here

There are documentation files in both folders that go through the features in detail so PLEASE READ through them before downloading.

Credits/Thanks: All the objects except for the Couch which is EA's are from @aroundthesims so thanks as always to Sandy for her wonderful stuff and generous use policy. Buff images are courtesy of Freepik. Thanks to everyone on the S3 Creators Discord that did early testing for the mod, especially @misspats3 who tests like it's her job with photos, videos, detailed notes. 👌 Also to Battery who helped me with the manager system.

As always if you have any issues (resets, missing strings, etc.) please let me know.

#download #s3cc #s3cc download #sims 3 cc #privateclinicmod #therapistmod

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slay00ryu · 19 days ago

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When the Devil is there for you.

_______________________

Trigger warnings:

- Depression

- Self harm mentions

- Self-destructive thoughts

- overall Ronin™ behaviour

_______________________

You are a clinically depressed person. It all came to light when you had your first psychiatrist appointment around two years ago. Since then everything started to make sense. Your thoughts, your laziness, your self harming behaviour just to quiet down everything in your head. From that point on there were only more, and more appointments with your doctor and therapy two times a week. At first it was quite difficult to get used to a new routine, waking up, eating, taking your antidepressants, working, and trying to live like a normal person. Like a healthy person, who didn't want to perish from this earthly vale.

Most of the time, you felt like a prisoner trapped in your own head, unable to live without some wacky therapist and medicine to keep you out of your bed. At least until one faithful day Ronin invited you to the server after your suspicions questions on dark web. The server gave you a will to live, the serial killers you now consider friends gave you so much energy and inspiration.

And Ronin, oh Ronin, the perfect devil, the most deranged and twisted man you have ever met. He makes your heartbeat get faster, your emotions and feelings get uncomfortably real and positive around this man. So it wasn't a shock when you fell for him and his twisted antics. He wanted to recreate you, he wanted what was good for you in his own twisted way. But you had no obligations against this, you would give up your already weak mind for this man and cut your own heart out if he told you to do so.

Unfortunately even the most positive feelings would be weak against your depression when you weren't be able to take your pills. Your psychiatrist was away from the country for a whole month, and this was your second week without your antidepressants. Every psychiatrist who you went to refused to prescribe anything for you, with the excuse of them not being your regular psychiatrist.

So now you are back to the starting point, basically rotting in bed. You can't remember the last time you showered, or ate something more than a random yoghurt you found in your fridge. Your whole room was a mess, just the mirror image of your mind. You were just too exhausted to even think about cleaning yourself or your room.

This state brought back many unpleasant memories. Your parents were in the middle of a divorce when it all started. Everyday you were woken up by constant arguments, your parents used you as a stress reliever, shouting at you and criticising your every mistake, even if it was something truly meaningless. On the days where they were quiet, they tried to act like picture perfect parents to get you on their good sides. Unfortunately their toxic and destructive behaviour already made you hate them and yourself.

Then after your family life, there were your so-called friends, they used you because you had great grades. But after you were failing some subjects because of your slowly growing depression, they all left you. You were alone, not a single person to consult. That added to the growing time bomb your mind was slowly becoming.

You didn't even realise it when one day after you came back from school and your parents were away, probably on some business trips or whatever. You used that single moment of solitude to listen to your thoughts and cut the flesh on your wrist open. There was blood in the sink, water turning red. There weren't many cuts, but they sure were deep and painful. That's when your self harming behaviours started. Whenever you were home alone you would hurt yourself to quiet down your mind.

No one ever saw the scars, no one heard your cries for help. You were all you had, sometimes you still feel like you're just utterly alone. Especially during a time like this. During a time when you have completely no energy to move a muscle unless you had to.

You weren't active on the server either. You just went offline one day and haven't gone online even once. You didn't know if anyone cared to check up on you, or if there was someone trying to reach out to you. You couldn't bring yourself to care either. You completely shut yourself from the world and hoped that this mess in your mind would go away on its own.

🥀

Ronin was in his room. He started to get too wounded by your two week absence. At first he thought that you had lots of work, or that you had just so much writing inspiration that you went completely zero contact. But days turned into two weeks and it seemed all too weird. He was almost convinced to go to your house, but even his twisted head thought of it as a bad idea.

At least until he received a DM from Angel.

Angelic: I think something's wrong with <user>.

Angelic: Even before they left they were acting a little bit different than usual.

Angelic: Can you idk... Just visit them? They're your partner Ronin, do something.

He read the messages and bit his lower lip. He wasn't the type of person to worry about someone, but when even Angel noticed that something had been seriously off with his Darlin', then who was he not to take matters in his own hands.

goreboy: I'll text If i know Somethin'.

goreboy: or I'll tell'em To Text you themselves.

He wrote the reply and stood up from his chair. He has someone to pay a visit to. Even if it meant breaking into their home.

Ronin was standing in front of your house, knocking on the door loud, basically banging at some point. He rolled his eyes and walked around the house, looking for a back door or an opened window. He knew that you were home, he could feel it, you were so close, yet so far. He found an opened window that led into your kitchen.

Ronin: Tsk, tsk, baby. You should keep your windows locked.

He chuckled to himself as he entered your house, closing the window behind himself.

Ronin walked quietly around your house, looking for you in every room. He finally reached your bedroom door and pushed the door open. The door creaked and so did the floor under Ronin's shoes. He scanned the room and then his eyes found you.

You looked like you just went to hell and back. His fallen angel really was falling, into a dark pit filled only with exhaustion. He suspected that you had some serious mental health issues, after all no one sane would stay on a serial killer server just for some book. But never in his right mind did you expect to see you like this.

To some you would look strange, disgusting even. He could tell that you didn't shower, or had a proper meal in a long time. This sight didn't scare him away, quite on the contrary. He finally saw your raw form, your true self. The true canvas he was working on for six whole months. You never looked more beautiful than when you looked up at him weak, exhausted and confused.

User: Ronin...? What are you doing here?

He watched as you slowly sat up and ran a hand through your definitely greasy hair. He walked up to you and sat down on the bed in front of you. He kissed the top of your head and cupped your face with his hands.

Ronin: Oh my little fallen angel, my divine darlin'. You can't just leave the devil waiting and not expect him to come and get you.

His hand went down to your throat. Holding you firmly as he brought his face down to your eye level. His gaze was wicked, but you could feel a tinge of care inside of those pitch black eyes.

Ronin: Tell me, what's been keeping you rotten in your bed.

User: I'm... A fucking mess Ronin. Life fucked with me like some cheep whore and now I can't even function without the regular pills.

You chuckled, but it was a bitter chuckle. Somehow his eyes were filled with even more devotion than ever before.

Ronin: Oh I love the sound of that, my fucked up baby. You're like a rotting corpse, a corpse I play with.

He brushed his mouth against yours, getting a surprised gasp in answer. His twisted love was somehow comforting to you, it gave you some ease to know that he loved you even in this state.

Ronin: If you have no reason to live, then obsess over me, breathe for me, write for me.

He paused and moved his face closer to your ear.

Ronin: If you need to take someone's life, then turn your suicidal thoughts into murdering motivation.

His words, so dark, crazy and fucked up. Yet to you they sounded like the sweetest love confession. He wanted you to live, and somehow it made you desire a life too. If you were supposed to live for something, then the Devil was a good enough reason.

User: Ronin... I need you. Please help me get back together. I'm a mess, I'm rotten, destroyed.

Ronin: Oh darling, your words are as sweet as poison. I just want to rip your ribcages out and reach your heart, crush it with my hands.

His mouth moved against the skin of your neck as he said those words. But then he moved away. You looked at him, standing in front of your bed. He reached his hand out for you, his gaze itself told you that there was care buried inside his words and movements. You took a hold of his outstretched hand and he immediately pulled you out of your bed.

Ronin: Let me take care of you Darlin', it's my job as your boyfriend, isn't it?

He held you by your hand, your body pressed against his. You could feel his scent, his comforting touch, it felt perfect even with that whole mess in your head. You gave him a nod in response. Even if you felt like you were ready to make him your sole reason to live, you were too exhausted to use your words.

Ronin picked you up, bridal style. Moved to your bathroom and placed you on the washing machine. Ronin turned on the tap to fill the bathtub. While the tub was being filled, Ronin helped you out of your clothes. It didn't feel perverted, or sexual. No. This contact felt pure, gentle. Ronin was careful not to startle you when he took off your clothes. Your bare skin shivered from how cold your bathroom was. Ronin helped you into the now filled bathtub, the hot skin made you relax.

Your partner knelt next to the tub, his hand reached for a body gel and a sponge. His movements gentle as he washed your back, shoulders and then... Hands. It wasn't inevitable, sooner or later Ronin would see the thick scars on your wrists, you felt your heartbeat stop. You couldn't expect anything from Ronin, so you didn't know how he would react. You averted your gaze, feeling ashamed of how disgusting your wrist must've looked for him.

To your surprise Ronin didn't ask, he didn't shout or make any disgusted remarks. You could feel his hot lips place gentle kisses on top of your scars. You looked at him in shock.

User: Ro... Ronin?

You asked, this unexpected behaviour made you tear up. His small kisses made you feel like something beautiful, something to worship, something worth his kisses. Ronin's thumb wiped some tears from your cheek.

Ronin: These scars, they're not ugly, they're not disgusting. They are proof of how life has fucked with you, but also they prove just how strong you are.

These exact words were something you needed to hear for a long time, especially after every single painful word you received for the scars. Your vision turned blurry and you were practically choking on your tears. This was a moment of true vulnerability, your poor mental health, combined with Ronin's words that hit just the right spots. You felt so many different things, you were afraid of accepting yourself with how you were, but also you felt relieved in a way. Ronin still loved you. Still had his eyes on you even with how your mental health issues completely ruled over your life.

He still showed you tenderness and care. He washed your body, kissed your forehead. He didn't turn his back on you not even once. Ronin wasn't ashamed to call you his partner, he still wanted to take care of you in his own way.

You looked at Ronin's face as he was busy drying your body with a towel. If he understood the things that went through your head so well, then... Did he also have similar thoughts in his head? He spoke about his past only a few times, and he always referred to his hometown as something he absolutely despised. You wanted to know what his whole story was about, but it wasn't the right time to ask. You were in no state or position to listen to Ronin's story about the mess inside of his head.

You were so lost in thought that you didn't realise that Ronin was asking you to lift one leg so he can dress you up. You felt strangely embarrassed. But not because of how he could see every part of your body, because you knew that he didn't care. It was because of being lost in thoughts about him, while he was right in front of you.

🥀

Some time passed, you two were sitting snuggled up in your living room. Your head calmed down, you finally felt at rest. For the first time in two weeks, your mind was quiet, there were no thoughts about killing yourself just to end this misery. There were no hateful memories, no shouting parents or abandoning from other people. There was just you, Ronin and the sounds of the outside world coming in through an open window.

Ronin: You should text the server, they're worried y'know.

You looked up at him. He was right, it wasn't okay to leave your friends without any signs from you. You bit the inside of your cheek. You had to text them, but what were you supposed to say? "Hey sorry I left, my depression is just too fucking strong?" You just didn't want to seem weak in front of other people, maybe Ronin accepted this side of you, but what about the others? Why would they accept you? Your head was starting to fill up with questions again, but Ronin's voice broke the growing turmoil in your head.

Ronin: Hey. You don't have to confess everything. I'll keep your secret, but at least tell them that you're okay..I don't want to watch my friends shitting themselves because my partner is missing.

He ruffled your freshly washed hair.

Ronin: And seriously. They will understand you, every single one of us was or is fucked by this world. You don't have to be scared of not being accepted. They are your friends, right? Why wouldn't they accept you in your worst times? We're fuckin' serial killers, I think that makes us worse than you.

You sighed and nuzzled your head against his chest, to hear the beating of his heart.

User: I...love you Ronin. Thank you for coming here.

Ronin: Love you too writer darlin'.

_______________________

Hello! Hello! I hope you liked it >:3

Sorry if I triggered or touched some uncomfortable thoughts or memories or feelings.

Be safe! <3

#killer chat ronin #killer chat #light angst #tw depressing stuff #sh #fluff

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