#clerks jobs

[kelocitta]

Perhaps a more literal "Clerk Lover" than most abnormalities playfully given the title; Rat King shows significant variance in hostility when faced with high level employees vs. low rank ones. Teams otherwise completely decimated by its rampages may find themselves with stragglers who were merely forced out of the way in favor of more enticing prey, at least in the moment.

Naturally, Managers should take care to discourage any dangerous ideas about 'mercy' 'favoritism' or "kindness" lest they find abnormality containment units suddenly prone to failure.

[tanjir0se]

I am begging you people to stop headcanoning your favs to either grow up to be cops or be cops in a modern au. on god no hate but literally what the hell is wrong with you.

[pokemon-npcs]

[mayasaura]

Having worked in a law office makes ace attorney both hilarious and frustrating. What do you mean I have to find further contradictions in Lotta Hart's testimony? I've revealed she was lying about her occupation, her motive for being at the scene, and the level of attention she was paying the crime in progress. Her credibility as a witness is in the toilet, your honor, I move to dismiss her testimony!

Now I would like to submit new unreviewed evidence before the court that I just discovered during recess by snooping 😊 what the fuck is paper work?

[jessica-problems]

Just saw the music video for Thot Shit for the first time and, like, holy shit. that's a whole ass twilight zone episode dissecting the hypersexualization of working class black women. First music video I've ever seen where I straight up do not feel qualified to comment on the nuances of everything that's going on here. There's race, there's class, there's gender, there's all sorts of shit going on. There's power, there's racialization and white fear of black people just living their lives. There's the hypocrisy of objectifying black women while criticizing them for being sexy. There's the focus on a white dude when the black women are doing all the work. There's one(1) shot of a white women in a frumpy suit utterly failing to keep up with all the black women's moves. And then the guy's face gets transmogrified into a pussy at the end? That's the one bit I actually just don't understand. There's, like LAYERS to everything going on here. And wow, I found an interview where she talks about what inspired it and she's so humble downplaying it, like "oh haha I just liked the way it sounded when I came up with it in the shower"

you gotta click through to watch it on youtube, because it is, like, the most twerking asses I have ever seen in a single video, and also there's a genuinely unsettling cronenberg bit at the end, so it's age restricted.

[thunderon]

alright more pre-crash yellowjackets thoughts! this time: shitty high school jobs they had! (i worked 5 different shitty minimum wage jobs between the ages of 15-18 and have thought about the concept with more gravity than it deserves sorry)

shauna: was a tutor during the school year for literally every subject. she was the only reason jeff and randy passed their junior year. even though she could use the money, shauna never charged any of her teammates if they needed some help. when school was out during the summers, she had a seasonal job at the concession stand at the local concert venue. pretty easy money and she liked listening to the bands play

jackie: unemployed. being the coolest girl in school is a full time job, after all! note: tried to get a job with shauna at the concession stand. it was a complete and utter disaster. she lasted a week, and only made it that long because of how much shauna covered for her. after that didn’t pan out, when shauna worked weekends, jackie would always buy a concert ticket… just to hang out by the concession stand and talk with shauna for the whole show

nat: her first job was working at the local pizza parlor. was employed there for 6 months until it got shut down because, as it turns out, the whole thing was a money laundering front for the mob (which explains why nat never got fired despite being actually kinda bad at making pizzas). after that, she goes to work the 6pm-midnight shift at the grimiest gas station in wiskayok. except for the occasional stick up, it was a quiet job where no one bothered her and she could buy her own cigarettes. however she was constantly sleep-deprived having to get up for school in the mornings. definitely created energy drink concoctions that would send most people into cardiac arrest. van and the other yellowjackets would always stop by to see her on shifts and nat always gives them free slurpees

van: started working at the movie theater in the mall when she was 14 (the owner needed the help and did not ask enough questions). van is the rare sort of person that is absolutely beloved by both customers and her fellow employees and no one was surprised when she became a manager. she has the best customer service and will help out all the other employees with whatever they need. to this day she still holds the record for most Employee of the Month awards. also i just know van was the ultimate hookup and snuck her friends into shows and definitely took home the leftover popcorn after her shift. if she knew nat was on shift at the gas station, she’d stop by on her way home and give her some

taissa: never worked during the school year because she took way too many classes and extracurriculars (she was a 3-sport athlete: cross country in the fall, basketball in the winter, soccer in the spring. also did debate team AND student gov). her parents actually tried to talk her out of getting a summer job, but taissa has never relaxed a day in her life. she took a job at a clothing store in the mall and claimed she chose it for the employee discounts. the fact the store was located in the same mall as the movie theater was unrelated to anything whatsoever (tho taissa and van’s break schedules coincidentally always lined up and they’d hang out and go to the arcade where they’d have competitions… loser had to buy the winner food from the food court afterwards).

anyways tai would have been a perfect employee… if she didn’t have the world’s worst customer service (“for the fifth and final time, i am not going to give you a goddamned refund if you don’t have the RECEIPT and if you try putting that ugly ass blouse in my face again i will shove it up your-���) …had to have routine talks with HR throughout her tenure there. her manager gently suggested therapy, once.

lottie: didn’t need the money but definitely got a job out of boredom. decided to lifeguard as a summer job. it was basically getting paid to tan and tell kids to stop running. she had a sixth sense for when it’s about to start storming. her coworkers stopped questioning it after a few months and now when lottie says to get everyone out of the pool, they get everyone out of the pool. from lifeguarding lottie actually learned enough about pool maintenance to do the work and check the chemical balances on the pool at her own house. her father thinks the whole thing is ridiculous, her mother thinks it’s nice she has a hobby

laura lee: didn’t work a paid job but volunteered. she played piano for the local church services and on weekdays she worked evenings at the local food bank. if she sees anyone from school show up, it stays between her and God. she has managed to rope each of the yellowjackets into volunteering with her at least once

mari: worked at a local restaurant. tried to be a waitress, but on her very first day she got three different customer complaints about her attitude and so the owner put her in the kitchen where she became a linecook. she had more healthcode violations in her 1.5 years of working there than every other employee combined. the manager fired her on a weekly basis but she always just showed up to work the next day like nothing happened and the boss always took her back because mari is the best damn linecook he ever had

akilah: she’s a baby and was too young to work an actual job but definitely did babysitting (mostly for family). definitely was the kid-whisperer. had plans to work at library once she turned 16

misty: volunteered at the local retirement home and developed a love-hate relationship with an 85yo named Ethel (and by love-hate i mean: misty loved ethel, ethel hated misty)

[earth-wyrms]

I got hired at the library today.

[driver270]

Post 90s Film Gifs

[icaruskey]

uh

this is another one of @pillowspace's au. may be taking some of my own spin on things but shhh

don't look at me

tw for mugging with a knife

It's well past dark when you leave work, waving goodbye to the security officer as you steel yourself for leaving the building. It's cold out, so you pull your hood up against the wind, tucking it tight around your throat. Yes, generally it's bad to cut down your visibility when you're walking alone at night, but also you're all but legally blind (mostly because you've not gone to the doctor since your last prescription stopped working). The hood makes the world seem a little less big while you march from work to home.

It's not a long walk, and it's one you're very familiar with, so it takes you a minute to realize when you're no longer alone. There's footsteps behind you, and as you slow down, you hear them slow down too. Odd. There's sometimes homeless people that hang around, but it's been getting colder and the cops swept the streets a couple nights ago anyway. Other than you, there's not many people hanging out in the business district. You want to reason this all away, but you fumble for that little can of pepper spray on your keychain anyway.

You'd barely pulled your hand free from your pocket before there's a tight grip on your shoulder, shoving you forward. You stumble and fall when the grip doesn't let up, crying out in dismay when your keys skip across the pavement. "No!"

"Shut up and give me your wallet. Now!" The mugger barks his orders at you, even as you try to feel for your keys. It had a reflector on it, just in case of a situation like this, but it's too dark here, the buildings hiding the moon overhead. You keep fumbling until a boot stomps on your fingers. "Are you fucking stupid? Wallet, now!"

"Sorry! I'm sorry. I don't have anything though, I swear." It's hard to find your wallet. Your hands are shaking, and the one that just got stomped is throbbing in time with your racing heart. You barely manage to pull the threadbare plastic leather bifold from your coat before it's snatched from your hand, your mugger ripping the rubberband holding it together off with a sharp snap.

"Bitch, what the hell is all this? There's no cash!"

"I told you! I don't have anythi---ng!" There's something very sharp pressed against your cheek all at once, and you freeze, jaw snapping shut. It's a knife, duh, sharp and cold from the night air. Your eyes feel hot in conrast, itchy, and you realize you're starting to cry.

"Hands up. And no funny business, or I'll use this." The knife digs into your skin, and you shakily lift your hands, flinching when he starts patting you down, clearly searching for any valuables. There's nothing, because of course there's not! You're smart enough to know not to lie if someone is threatening you like this! But when his hand slips inside your coat, you let out a choked up sob.

"Jesus, chill, no one would want to do anything with you. Fucking loser." He's frustrated, shoving you to the ground with his foot. You stay there, biting your lip so hard you can taste blood. But at least he seems to be done with you. "You tell anyone what just happened and I'll kill you." You don't reply, don't think you can. But it's enough. After an eternity, you hear him leave.

The breath you let out is a wretched thing, somewhere between a sob and a gasp, snot and phlegm caught in your throat turning it into a rattling sound. You roll onto your knees, burying your face in the arms of your coat as you let out a series of deep, dry sobs. It takes an eternity to calm down enough to move, your body stiff as you feel for your things. Your wallet was, to put it mildly, destroyed, and the tears continue unabated as you realize your cards are gone -- the gift card from work, the snap access card, and your debit card. You'll have to cancel the latter two, but there's no cash at home. No food either. You were going to grocery shop after your shift at the library.

Your keys had somehow made it to the curb, and your curl your fingers around the pepper spray like it's a talisman. Standing takes more effort, and you use the curb to sort of propel yourself up. Your balance remains shaky, and your nose hurts now from crying in the cold, and you definitely still taste blood. You try to tell yourself you're lucky you didn't get hurt (worse, you add, as your fingers and cheek throb), but that falls flat.

You force yourself forward, to get home. To your little apartment with your little brother, to let the sitter finally go home.

Fuck, you hope she'll let you pay through paypal tonight.

[pinkdean]

thank god girlsgogames.com is always there for me when i have to attend an irrelevant zoom meeting

[athetos]

Being unemployed sounds so good right now

[californiaquail]

i submitted the medical center file clerk application everyone please pray for me to get the most bland but adequate job ever 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

[katnissandpeetamellark]

The Covey would sing this song okay??? Okay. They know it. it’s canon in my brain

[nat-20s]

Any job recommendations for people who love to be left alone, not think too hard at work, listen to podcasts, and actually get decent pay???

[zhouszishu]

will be on indefinite hiatus again because the last semester of law school (and my anxiety about the bar) is kicking my butt

manifesting that the next time i log back onto this hellsite that i'll be doing it as an official baby attorney :)

[hwsforeignrelations]

RANT