#clem's corner

[clementinecoastline]

i summon you, i sing (in this damp hour)

finally done with my sousou no frieren au fic! by which i mean. the first installment.

you can find it here!

[ilottthepilot]

After a few days of austria discourse, i love how it seems like a bunch of drivers came to a consensus along the lines of "max was at fault, but it was entertaining as fuck, michel schumacher would have done the same and also i am not a cop"

[spell-of-the-rain]

“I find that British people in general have an abundance of willingness to overpay for mediocrity”

- James Blair (clem’s wine corner bottle 7)

[suzie-shooter]

[glittercakes]

Another Halloween special for you, still focused on Luigi’s Mansion, and still kind of morbid! This one’s all about the staff of the Last Resort and how they met their ends!

(General TW for death (including children and animals), murder, and suicide)

(Specific TW for crushing, shooting, heart attack, stabbing, illness, car accident, fire, drowning, and electrocution)

(Let me know if there’s any other specifics I should tag!)

Stewart “Steward” Bell, age 30 (1957-1987): Crushed by luggage when the belt on the cart snapped

Chambrea DuBois, age 42 (1922-1964): Murdered by her employer for stealing money from them

Duncan Krueller, age 33 (1952-1985): Shot by a robber who broke into the mall he was working at

Chef Auguste Soulffle, age 58 (1938-1996) Cooking fire burned down his kitchen with him in it

Amadeus Wolfgeist, age 53 (1754-1807): Heart attack brought on by stress and rage after his performance bombed

King Rory MacFrights, age 46 (764-810): Killed in a joust

Dr. Sylvester Potter, age 85 (1900-1985): Died of old age

(Bonus headcanon: He is the grandfather of the Three Sisters from the second game. They inherited their interest in plants from him, an interest they kept long after they died from an illness)

Mortimer “Morty” Wilson, age 29 (1928-1957): Crushed by a falling stage light while trying to film his masterpiece

Polterkitty, age 6 (2012-2018): Stray cat hit by a car and then enchanted by Hellen Gravely to gain extra powers

Ug, age 35 (25000 BCE-24965 BCE): Eaten by a T-Rex, the same one he is now possessing (since this is the Mario universe, humans and dinosaurs lived around the same time here)

Clement “Clem” Abernathy, age 38 (1948-1986): Hit his head and drowned in the sewers

Pharaoh Serpci I, age 31 (3051 BCE-3020 BCE): Commited suicide as part of a ritual to stop a sandstorm from ravaging her people

Nikki, Lindsey, and Ginny Hawthorne, age 15 (1972-1987): Stage they were performing on caught on fire due to a magic trick gone wrong

(Bonus headcanon: Nikki is the one with long pigtails, Lindsey is the one with the ponytail, and Ginny has the short pigtails)

Captain Fishook, age 70 (1920-1990) Pirate shark killed in a duel with Jonathan “Johnny” Jones, who took over his crew

Johnny Deepend, age 24 (1967-1991): Swim trunks got caught in a pool filter, causing him to drown

Gloria “DJ Phantasmagloria” Townes, age 26 (1973-1999): DJ equipment malfunctioned, electrocuting her

Hellen Gravely, age 40 (1978-2018): Commited suicide after she was suddenly rejected by her lover. After her death, she adopted Polterkitty, became obsessed with King Boo, and brought together the rest of the staff to help defeat Luigi.

After the events of the game, the ghosts (except for Hellen, Polterkitty, and King Boo) all got a second chance, and they now work at the Last Resort, which has since become a legitimate hotel.

And that’s it! Let me know what you think!

[nickvalensisguitarsolos]

Clement Novalak is to Screaming Meals what Shane Madej is to Buzzfeed Unsolved.

They are one in the same, I will not elaborate

[nihilismtrcit]

clem’s corner

[httpiastri]

jack bestie I want to try and write a book but the thought scares me so much 😭 I have two really thought out ideas but I’m scared they aren’t going to turn out the way I want them too in my head

OH?? sweetheart i think you would do sooo well writing a book !!! i agree that the thought is very scary, like putting yourself out there and really seeing like "am i actually capable of doing this" is definitely frightening.... but there are a lot of tips online, and i think the main takeaway (?) is probably that you should go easy on yourself. like, all the stuff about "your work seems predictable because you're the one who wrote it and you know what's coming up", and "your first draft should just be for telling yourself the story, then you can make the big adjustments" !!! i obvs have no experience in real book writing but i have a feeling you would do great 🥺

[babygirlsincars]

It's been so long...

Since last I've seen my son

[molliemoo3]

Personally think the next episode of Clems Wine Corner should be done with Danny Rics wine, given him returning to the grid and all

[clembian]

btw i am so into doctor who rn.my eyes have been opened

[clementinecoastline]

was watching extraordinary attorney woo and had to stop and discuss the logistics of a south korean law firm having a branch office in boston. it is just. so impractical. i think. the conclusion has been that they just picked boston bc of harvard being around there.

[ilottthepilot]

so marcus armstrong got punched in the face in front of 50 cent in a club in indianapolis this weekend??

[kickinganddriving]

GUYS CLEM JUST RELPIED AND LIKED MY INSTA COMMENT ALSO MASON AND CLEM WERE HANGING OUT AHHHHHHHHHH

[suzie-shooter]

"Me and Clem have made a baby."

James Harvey Blair on Clem's Wine Corner (3rd Oct 2024)

...James do you actually WANT people to write filth about you at this point? 😂

[chmydarling]

aight, hear me out-