#clearly this is personal and mayyyybe it will find people who will find personal things that work for them

[secondspookyseason]

what my practice looks like (March 2023)

Hestia: A spirit I saw in a fire one time. Offerings made in my grandmother's teacups. Work in the kitchen, where my household works and loves and connects. Lighting a candle almost every night. Eternally grateful that I have a safe and stable home, from which everything else can flourish.

Hermes: The one it makes sense to devote to, considering my work and hobbies (all writing and language). Kissing my fingers for luck as I drive through a yellow light is a devotional act. A bowl of crystals for luck disguised as work decor. Journaling and silly little rhymes. Someone you can ask for help getting your written work quick-n-dirty done on time. Dice. Jewelry with wings. Artemis: Indirect, but I did this thing where I named myself after a woodland animal and I could see that connecting to something deeper. Visions on the full moon. Thinking of acquiring more art that depicts moons and antlers.

Dionysus: Oh my god. oh my god. You ever have something click all at once? Like I heard queer people were into Dionysus. but once I did just enough research to know there was more than a jolly little grape-wearing cartoon, this has been my main thing. A god of joy in physical experience! A god of heightened states! A genderqueer god who is so easy for me to envision in my (personal, queer, realistic) own idea of sexiness. Also a tree god at some point! I have always loved theater. I have always enjoyed purple. I already have the amethyst and the pinecones and colorful snake art and I see resonances everywhere. I consider whimsy a survival strategy. Trying out a mini-altar by my voice-acting mic. Saying 'I'll go write this sex scene and then look up devotional acts to Dionysus' and then realizing the sex scene is the devotional act. (This rules.) An internal joy (queer joy!!!) keeping me afloat when the outside is too much. Cups showing up in tarot readings in different decks. The Nine of Cups asks: what if we were enjoying ourselves right now? What would that look like? Can you imagine it? Ace of cups, my life overflowing.

[rosetheex-editor]

[Audio transcript start.]

[The transcript begins with the sound of crickets, someone can be heard walking back and forth as a phone starts ringing. The ringtone is identified as the song "Killer queen." the phone keeps ringing until there is a beep.]

?: Hello, hello hello?

[Voice identified: Ness.]

?: HEYYYY!!!

[Voice identified: Ophelia.]

[In the background of the other end, there seems to be slightly muffled club music, and someone crying. The crying person does not seem to be Ophelia.]

O: Ness! It’s been so long!

Ne: It's been like… A week and a half, plus I still contact you when I can… Just been busy with uh, a fucked up forearm.

O: Aw, yeah. Ignore the music, I’m out right now. I’m in the women's bathroom at a club! Where are you?

Ne: Apartment parking lot… Ok that's a lie. Cemetery… Definitely not the one in Philly.

O: Okay! I dunno what significance any of that has to you, but I remember killing a few people there once. Speaking of! Well, kinda, uh. Hm.

Ne: First. I come to the cemetery to clear my head sometimes… Talk to the graves, it's calming. And what's up?

[Ness takes a deep breath, preparing for the response.]

O: So! We got this call for a job… it’s a little ways out of Lostfield, and I need a bit of help, so…

Ne: You want me to help?

O: Exactly! You’re so smart girlie, that's why I called you! I have some details ready if you want ‘em!

Ne: Sure but first, do I still get one free murder job?

[Ness laughs, clearly joking.]

O: I’ll see what I can do! But anyway, the reason I need help with this one is because this jackass hired bodyguards. Fucking bodyguards! Talk about paranoid, amiright?

Ne: So what do you need me to do? Kill em? Suck the-

[Ness is cut off by the wind.]

O: That’s Cass’ thing, man.

Ne: I was… Joking. But ok.

O: Oh, well. Either way. You up for the task? Wait, I forgot to tell you what we were even doing! Sorry! I’ve had many drinks. This isn’t a hit! We’re grabbing the bitch and masking him.

Ne: C- christ… Can I get blackout drunk? I'll pay for my drinks just like… Being sad and in pain is a bitch so.

O: Mmm… sorry girl, but I can’t let ya do that. You’re underaged.

Ne: So killing and kidnapping is fine but you draw the line at underaged drinking?

O: Exactly! You catch on really fast! You can have… mayyyybe one drink. But that’s a big maybe. Got it?

Ne: Fine.

O: Another thing, uh. I think you’ll want to know who else is going.

Ne: If I'm helping… [Aside.] Hell this could be my first of many PR jobs. [Front.] Yeah I'd like to know.

O: Okay! [Clears throat.] So… Adelia, Becky, Naomi, Irene, Bianca… Um. Eden. And…

Ne: I thought that was all the girls? Cuz like… I'm assuming you also called me for girls night?

O: Haha… about that. Um. So we… uh.

[Ness sighs.]

Ne: Did Cassius get pissy because we ended up in the bahamas?

O: No, he thought that was funny as shit, uh. We don’t do jobs like these without him, I think you’ll find out why when we get there.

Ne: As long as he keeps Rose and Edgar's names out of his fucking mouth we'll be fine.

O: I can’t promise that. He enjoys riling you up.

Ne: Ophelia. I will bring my dads sawed off shotgun and shoot him in the fucking head. Or get blackout drunk to put up with him.

O: Girl, please don’t do either of those. I’ll… tell him that he needs to tone it down for friday.

Ne: Thank you… Genuinely thank you.

O: Bring a nice outfit, by the way! We can’t have you looking like a mess while the rest of us are dressed up!

Ne: I'll uh… Put on one of the dresses we bought. And uh… I'll buy makeup I guess.

O: OMG! Wait do you want one of us to help you with it?

Ne: Sure? I uh… Seeing as I've only ever worked at an auto mechanics and the pizzeria, not like I've ever had a chance to wear makeup.

O: EEEEEE! OMG I can’t wait! You’ll look amazing, Ness.

Ne: Thanks, I uh… Still don't fully trust you guys, but it's uh… Yeah, nice to have at least one other person to talk to that doesn't make fun of me.

O: Aw, they make fun of you? That’s so mean. You’re safe with us, girl. Maybe not Eden, but the rest of us.

Ne: No no… Just… Well… People I can talk to that kinda get me… After sarah and mari went missing, I've really only talked to. Henry, edgar, rose, Katherine. Yeah those are like… The only people I've talked to well enough. You seem to get me and not make fun of me for being… Weird, I've only had like… 3 female, technically 2 but I'm counting mari. Friends that match that.

O: Oh, well. Hm. That’s kinda new for me TBH. I haven’t seen Sarah or Mari at all, but I’ll let them both know that you miss them! And uh… on the topic of the m– Um. Edgar. I’m really sorry that happened, girl. I know what it’s like to lose a friend, that’s gotta be rough.

Ne: Oh trust me it is, waking up every morning lying to everyone that you're ok and that nothing is wrong hurts even more. Some nights I really just don't want to wake up!

O: Damn. I’ve felt like that once. Before PR. Uh. Maybe this’ll help you take your mind off of things?

Ne: Yeah… I should probably go.

O: So should I, I think I’m about to hashtag throw up right now!

Ne: Oh um… In that case see you friday, bye.

O: Bye, Ness!

[Ophelia hangs up.]

Ne: Fuckin' hell…

[Ness can be heard walking again, now with the sound of crying. This lasts for 15 minutes until the transcript ends.]

[End transcript.]

[thyra279]

Aziraphale is right on Armageddon

I’m not entirely sure how posting/reposting on Tumblr actually works, so I’m making a post of what was originally a response to this excellent post by ileolai I really think that Aziraphale is given quite a hard time for how he handles things in relation to Crowley leading up to the Apocalypse.

In defence of my BAMF boi Aziraphale (referring to the TV series as I don’t remember all the differences in the book):

No, he shouldn’t have told Crowley at the bandstand that they aren’t friends/are over, he should have told Crowley when he knew the location of the Antichrist, and he might have been naive to think that he could change the minds of God/the Metatron/a higher authority. I hate that he lies to Crowley after figuring out the location of the Antichrist.

Crowley’s (admittedly desperate) plan, however, was romantic af but not any better morally or much worse practically. It would not have worked long-term. It would have been selfish, short-sighted and cowardly and gone against everything they stand for and believe in.

If they HAD actually escaped (for all they know, at least, discounting Adam’s choices), Armaggedon would still have gone ahead, the War would’ve taken place, and one side or the other would have won. The winning side would realise either straight away or eventually that one of their own had deserted from the war. Whether the next day or in a few millennia, eventually, surely, someone from the victorious side would have come across them somewhere.

(Might’ve taken me three run-throughs to capture the screenshot because I kept getting too caught up in watching the scene.)

Also, again, there’s the sticky moral issue of the two abandoning Earth and all the creatures thereof to the sole custody of either Heaven or Hell. The world would have ended, Crowley and Aziraphale would have been together, yes, but always looking over their shoulder, and only for a limited time until they were discovered and punished for desertion/their relationship.

Now, it seems there were two other things they could actually do. First, Crowley’s other suggestion: Kill the Antichrist, murder a child. Comes with its own lovely set of moral dilemmas #utilitarianism. Not something either is particularly keen on doing, although it is Aziraphale who gives it a go: He IS willing, in the end, all other options exhausted, to kill in order to save them and the world. (Granted, it kind of  makes sense that he should do it; he’d at least be thwarting evil whereas Crowley would be going directly up against “his side”. But still, it’s going directly against the Great Plan.)

The only option that could possibly, potentially, mayyyybe work is to convince a higher-up to actually get the whole Armageddon called off. It’s the only way to save everything - the world, humanity, Crowley, their relationship; the only potential long-term solution. So, he goes to see the Archangels, to get them to either call off the war or (possibly?) kill the Antichrist. Aziraphale tells them some of what he knows, but he is smart enough not to tell his superiors that he already knows where the Antichrist is. He lies to them too and keeps the information to himself until he knows what the Right thing to do is to save the world.

Don’t think I’ve seen this talked about this anywhere: While speaking to Archangels, he also tries out quite a clever plan to help out Crowley, whose massive cock-up and cover-up in the wrong Antichrist fiasco will be found out as soon as Warlock reaches Megiddo: He suggests to the Archangels that Crowley did it all on purpose to trick Aziraphale and keep the real Antichrist safe.

(adorbs)

He’s not exactly making himself look great here, but it’s worth it if he can convince the higher-ups that Crowley is really a demonic strategic genius who was actually protecting the Antichrist all along.

After the Archangels tell him to piss off and the Bandstand scene (RIP), where he declares that can’t be on their side anymore and Crowley is the one to leave, he tries to get to Gabriel once again, which obviously fails. After Gabriel’s “What are you?”, he looks at him running off towards the bandstand, which is in focus although it isn’t in the rest of the scene and reminds of us him and Crowley, and we get the lovely, romantic (?) “I’m soft”. It’s pretty clear already that he has no intention of fighting in any war (or against Crowley). Then, after telling Crowley’s he’s being ridiculous for wanting to run away (and Crowley saying he’ll run off and forget about Aziraphale), he tries once again to explain why the war shouldn’t happen to the archangel thugs and to get them to see what they, as angels, should be doing and why it is vital that the world (and A and C’s role in it) continue.

He is clearly terrified. The archangels clearly aren’t there with good intentions, and yet he Stands Up to them and tries to make them see reason: They shouldn’t want the war, that’s not what they, the angels are there to do - they should be upholding one side of the moral coin, letting humanity choose between good and bad. (As an aside, I love all the “Aziraphale is terrible at being an angel” fun, but I - and probably god, and possibly even Aziraphale himself - think that he is the best angel: Even with the Arrangement, he has actually been doing the exact job of Heaven and Hell, upholding this careful balance between Good and Evil, allowing people to choose, navigating via his own moral compass, and taking care of humanity ever since giving away the sword, as a good principality should). He’s already saying pretty clearly that he’s on the side of The World, that he doesn’t want the war.

His last hope for actually avoiding the Apocalypse (and saving his and Crowley’s continued existence together) is God herself. Obviously and beautifully, he doesn’t get through, and the Metatron is no better than the other bureaucratic, dogmatic, powerhungry arsewipes in Heaven. He’s exhausted all other options, all hope of a long-term real solution for him and Crowley, and so he calls up Crowley to let him know Adam’s location so that they can go off in desperation and try to stop/kill the Antichrist. It won’t save them, but it might just be possible for them to save the world.

After his discorporation, he takes a very public, burning-all-bridges stand in Heaven and gives a metaphorical two-finger salute as he yeets back to possess people like a demon. He finds Crowley and is very much set on the task at hand - getting to and stopping the Antichrist - even though he and Crowley clearly have a lot of personal shizzle to discuss. At the Airfield, finally, he’s the one who actually does try to kill Adam to save the world.

Also, Aziraphale comes up with the brilliant distinction between the Great Plan and the Ineffable Plan, which implies that Heaven and Hell might be going against God, and that he and Crowley (and Adam) might just under Her protection, and would give Crowley and himself an out if only their bosses were flexible/good enough to see reason.

When it works and Armageddon IS actually avoided, he greets Gabriel coolly and unwieldingly while Crowley tries out a sycophantic (and fabulous) grovelling bow.

He has Taken A Stand and he’s not moving. For all that he frets and wiggles, he’s the guardian; constant, secure with a steady, certain inner moral compass that is much too good and intelligent to constantly align with Heaven. Crowley is the snake; wiley, slippery, flighty, constantly moving (and I mean that in the best way, I love Crowley as much as Aziraphale).

He grounds Crowley. When Crowley is finally giving up, saying goodbye to Aziraphale, refuses to give up, knowing exactly how to get Crowley moving again - pulling out another card in his… infinite variety… of ways to surprise and touch and steady the demon.

Morally, it’s like that old philosophy conundrum, the trolley problem with more heartbreak: If you could only save one, would you save your loved one or a group of strangers? When push comes to shove, Aziraphale cannot let himself throw the random bunch of strangers to the wolves, choosing his own unhappiness over the unhappiness of humanity. Add to that the fact that avoiding the Apocalypse is also the only long-term way to possibly save Crowley their relationship. (TV) Crowley is more concerned with saving Aziraphale and himself. Not a bad instinct; a very human one, in fact. His world IS Aziraphale, he moves around the angel, grounds himself in him. Aziraphale’s own happiness and well-being is contingent on Crowley being in the world, but he is willing to sacrifice that to save the actual world. He IS committed to Crowley, it’s just that Crowley can’t be in Aziraphale’s world if the world doesn’t exist. Aziraphale might owe Crowley an apology for throwing him under the cart for this, but he’s a damn good person/being and a really damn good angel.

I was gonna tie this down better to this thought I’ve been thinking a lot, but this got so long that Imma just gesture vaguely towards it, it’s not hugely related to the events of Armageddon: Aziraphale has to be constantly selfless everywhere except for with Crowley. He gets to be selfish in his relationship with the demon. Crowley, on the other hand, can only ever be allowed to be selfless and good through his relationship with the angel. Aziraphale being selfish allows gives Crowley a space to be giving and loving (in whatever way) and kind.

I know there are already lots of lovely fics out there exploring these things in profound and beautiful ways, but I got started on this essay journey, and I was damned if I wasn’t gonna finish it too.

So *sniffs* yeah.

[ashleyjacksonblog]

10 Deep Questions To Ask Your Partner If You Want To Make Your Connection Stronger

In a 2015 New York Times “Modern Love” article, Mandy Len Catron wrote about a study orchestrated by psychologist Arthur Aron in which two strangers fell in love in a laboratory by staring into each others’ eyes for four minutes and asking each other 36 questions. Catron tried the experiment IRL, documented it, and the piece went viral. Is it really possible to fall in love after 36 questions? I’m not sure. I do know, however, that asking questions is key in any relationship. So what are the right deep questions to ask your boyfriend or girlfriend to make your connection stronger?

While it sounds intimidating, I feel like Aron’s experiment could in fact be a good place to start when thinking about what to ask your partner to get to know them in that next-level deep way. You could even try the whole stare-into-each-others’-eyes-for-four-minutes thing if you’re feeling super brave. (I actually did this with strangers in Brooklyn for an internet video, and it was TERRIFYING.)

The 36 questions range from things you may already know about your partner like, “Would you like to be famous?” to hard hitters like, “If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?” I perused Aron’s 36 questions and borrowed ten that I think could help deepen an already committed, love-filled relationship. Here they are:

1. “If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?”

What Happens When You Finally Reveal Your Flaws To Your SO

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True, you’ve probably already discussed your respective childhoods with each other, but the specificity of this question makes it both difficult to answer and pretty telling (not that I’m a therapist). I am struggling to think about how to answer this question, and I hesitate to put my answer into print because I love my parents and they took great care of me; I’d never want them to feel badly. Sharing something this private with someone inevitably will bring you closer.

2. “What is your most treasured memory?”

Marija Mandic/Stocksy

I like this question because while you may predict that your partner will reply with something like “finding out I got into law school” or “my trip to Patagonia,” the chances are the memory will be something more obscure, perhaps from childhood. Learning about a moment in your partner’s life that you weren’t there for is super intimate. (Oh, and this was designed for strangers to answer, so tell them there’s no pressure to make it a memory with you…)

3. “What is your most terrible memory?”

Jovo Jovanovic/Stocksy

OK, sorry to be a buzzkill here. This question is not the most fun to ask/answer, but sharing a difficult memory will undeniably bond you and your person. I lost my mom to cancer this year, and it’s been tricky navigating certain first dates when terms like “your parents” or “what does your mom do?” come up, but each time I have briefly shared what’s going on — don’t worry, I don’t go full meltdown on first dates — I’ve felt a bit liberated. Talking about terrible things is healthy, right?

4. “Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.”

Couples Who Act Gross Are Happier

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This isn’t exactly a question, but it is from the list of 36 questions, so let’s say it counts. This is fun because you get to give compliments while simultaneously getting them, and who doesn’t love being complimented? It’s also a really nice way to clearly outline for your partner what you like about them. You can go real meta and say: “I love your ability to state your feelings clearly.”

5. “When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?”

Kevin Gilgan

Sh*t just got real. Does crying during Savasana during yoga in a dark room count as in front of other people? If so, yesterday. I think this is an important question to ask yourself, as well as your partner. Again, the vulnerability required to answer this will bring you and your partner closer.

6. “What does friendship mean to you?”

Why Guys Need To Go On More Man Dates

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This could seem silly because if you are dating you already know their friends well, but different people will answer this in very different ways. See if you and your bae feel the same about what being “BFFs” means. (Maybe you both feel the same way about captioning every couple’s photo you post with them “me and my best friend!”… in that it’s tired, so no thank you.)

7. “Complete this sentence: ‘I wish I had someone with whom I could share…’”

Robert Zaleski/Stocksy

If your partner easily takes offense, maybe this isn’t the question to ask them. They might meet you with “BABE, you can share anything with me though. WTF?” At the same time, if you actually answer this question, you’re going to share the thing, so maybe it’s a win-win? Another difficult question to answer, but very telling.

8. “Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.”

Daring Wanderer/Stocksy

Mayyyybe you told your SO about that time you accidentally peed your pants, when in fact you had accidentally number two-ed them. You and your partner probably know about or have witnessed each other doing some pretty embarrassing things. To deepen your intimacy, share an embarrassing moment you haven’t told them about or reveal all the details about that embarrassing story you pared down for them early on in dating so as not to repel them. Either way, this is a fun one.

9. “If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?”

Ryan Tuttle/Stocksy

If saying “I love you” has been an issue for one of you, or if there is a proposal that just can’t seem to come slowly enough, maybe skip this question. However, if you really think about this and answer it truly, you’re going to find out a lot about your partner. Maybe it’s an old boss, an estranged family member, or even an old flame… um, scratch that last one. Maybe try not to bring up exes you wish you had said “I love you” to.

10. “Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?”

How You Know When You're In Love.

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This. Is. So. Hard. Because I live in a tiny apartment in New York, and because I want to save it all. I think I would grab notes that I have saved from my mom, because her handwriting is so important to me. I like to think her energy is still hanging around all of those birthday cards in some way. I think the way your partner answers this will teach you a lot about them. It’s a tricky question to answer honestly.

There you have it: 10 questions from Aron’s experiment that I found particularly interesting. You don’t have to sit down and grill your partner on a Tuesday, but these are far more interesting questions than, “How was your day?” Even the simple fact that you bring up a question like this to someone will let them know how much you care and how interested you are in getting to know all of them. Who knows? I might delete all my dating apps and try this out with the barista who always gives me the free coffees tomorrow. Happy answering.

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10 Deep Questions To Ask Your Partner If You Want To Make Your Connection Stronger

from Meet Positives http://ift.tt/2wWf5vG via IFTTT

[chadpetersondatingblog]

10 Deep Questions To Ask Your Partner If You Want To Make Your Connection Stronger

In a 2015 New York Times “Modern Love” article, Mandy Len Catron wrote about a study orchestrated by psychologist Arthur Aron in which two strangers fell in love in a laboratory by staring into each others’ eyes for four minutes and asking each other 36 questions. Catron tried the experiment IRL, documented it, and the piece went viral. Is it really possible to fall in love after 36 questions? I’m not sure. I do know, however, that asking questions is key in any relationship. So what are the right deep questions to ask your boyfriend or girlfriend to make your connection stronger?

While it sounds intimidating, I feel like Aron’s experiment could in fact be a good place to start when thinking about what to ask your partner to get to know them in that next-level deep way. You could even try the whole stare-into-each-others’-eyes-for-four-minutes thing if you’re feeling super brave. (I actually did this with strangers in Brooklyn for an internet video, and it was TERRIFYING.)

The 36 questions range from things you may already know about your partner like, “Would you like to be famous?” to hard hitters like, “If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?” I perused Aron’s 36 questions and borrowed ten that I think could help deepen an already committed, love-filled relationship. Here they are:

1. “If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?”

What Happens When You Finally Reveal Your Flaws To Your SO

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True, you’ve probably already discussed your respective childhoods with each other, but the specificity of this question makes it both difficult to answer and pretty telling (not that I’m a therapist). I am struggling to think about how to answer this question, and I hesitate to put my answer into print because I love my parents and they took great care of me; I’d never want them to feel badly. Sharing something this private with someone inevitably will bring you closer.

2. “What is your most treasured memory?”

Marija Mandic/Stocksy

I like this question because while you may predict that your partner will reply with something like “finding out I got into law school” or “my trip to Patagonia,” the chances are the memory will be something more obscure, perhaps from childhood. Learning about a moment in your partner’s life that you weren’t there for is super intimate. (Oh, and this was designed for strangers to answer, so tell them there’s no pressure to make it a memory with you…)

3. “What is your most terrible memory?”

Jovo Jovanovic/Stocksy

OK, sorry to be a buzzkill here. This question is not the most fun to ask/answer, but sharing a difficult memory will undeniably bond you and your person. I lost my mom to cancer this year, and it’s been tricky navigating certain first dates when terms like “your parents” or “what does your mom do?” come up, but each time I have briefly shared what’s going on — don’t worry, I don’t go full meltdown on first dates — I’ve felt a bit liberated. Talking about terrible things is healthy, right?

4. “Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.”

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This isn’t exactly a question, but it is from the list of 36 questions, so let’s say it counts. This is fun because you get to give compliments while simultaneously getting them, and who doesn’t love being complimented? It’s also a really nice way to clearly outline for your partner what you like about them. You can go real meta and say: “I love your ability to state your feelings clearly.”

5. “When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?”

Kevin Gilgan

Sh*t just got real. Does crying during Savasana during yoga in a dark room count as in front of other people? If so, yesterday. I think this is an important question to ask yourself, as well as your partner. Again, the vulnerability required to answer this will bring you and your partner closer.

6. “What does friendship mean to you?”

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This could seem silly because if you are dating you already know their friends well, but different people will answer this in very different ways. See if you and your bae feel the same about what being “BFFs” means. (Maybe you both feel the same way about captioning every couple’s photo you post with them “me and my best friend!”… in that it’s tired, so no thank you.)

7. “Complete this sentence: ‘I wish I had someone with whom I could share…’”

Robert Zaleski/Stocksy

If your partner easily takes offense, maybe this isn’t the question to ask them. They might meet you with “BABE, you can share anything with me though. WTF?” At the same time, if you actually answer this question, you’re going to share the thing, so maybe it’s a win-win? Another difficult question to answer, but very telling.

8. “Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.”

Daring Wanderer/Stocksy

Mayyyybe you told your SO about that time you accidentally peed your pants, when in fact you had accidentally number two-ed them. You and your partner probably know about or have witnessed each other doing some pretty embarrassing things. To deepen your intimacy, share an embarrassing moment you haven’t told them about or reveal all the details about that embarrassing story you pared down for them early on in dating so as not to repel them. Either way, this is a fun one.

9. “If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?”

Ryan Tuttle/Stocksy

If saying “I love you” has been an issue for one of you, or if there is a proposal that just can’t seem to come slowly enough, maybe skip this question. However, if you really think about this and answer it truly, you’re going to find out a lot about your partner. Maybe it’s an old boss, an estranged family member, or even an old flame… um, scratch that last one. Maybe try not to bring up exes you wish you had said “I love you” to.

10. “Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?”

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This. Is. So. Hard. Because I live in a tiny apartment in New York, and because I want to save it all. I think I would grab notes that I have saved from my mom, because her handwriting is so important to me. I like to think her energy is still hanging around all of those birthday cards in some way. I think the way your partner answers this will teach you a lot about them. It’s a tricky question to answer honestly.

There you have it: 10 questions from Aron’s experiment that I found particularly interesting. You don’t have to sit down and grill your partner on a Tuesday, but these are far more interesting questions than, “How was your day?” Even the simple fact that you bring up a question like this to someone will let them know how much you care and how interested you are in getting to know all of them. Who knows? I might delete all my dating apps and try this out with the barista who always gives me the free coffees tomorrow. Happy answering.

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10 Deep Questions To Ask Your Partner If You Want To Make Your Connection Stronger

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