#classic literature shitpost

[lonelylittledot]

rip Mr Collins, you would have loved Patreon

[flum3n]

the universal experience of beginning 'pride and prejudice' (2005) with the opinion that matthew macfadyen as mr darcy is perfectly tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt you and ending it bewitched, body and soul.

[flowersforfrancis]

Yes. Don’t we all?

[can-of-w0rmz]

You like Victor Frankenstein DESPITE his grey morality. I like Victor Frankenstein BECAUSE of his grey morality. We are not the same.

[erosdoceamargo]

the iliad it boy and tamer of horses

[inamoratasonata]

and the sun took a step back, the leaves lulled themselves to sleep and autumn was awakened.

— raquel franco

[catihere]

Moby Dick is one of the most brilliant pieces of literature out there and not for the reasons you think. Sure, it’s a great analysis on the state of the human ego in relationship with nature, but it’s also an absolutely hilarious piece from top to bottom. I mean:

•The kickstarter of the story is that, one day, Ishmael, a relatively ordinary man, gets frustrated with his life and the best solution he finds is to give up on everything and go whale hunting on a ship in the middle of nowhere. 100/100, what a fucking mood

•Ishmael is not even his name. If I remember correctly (I haven’t opened this book in three years), he picked his name himself and it means outcast, reject. Really now, why are no transmascs out there naming themselves Ishmael??

•He’s not even the main character but he’s the only one I care about

•This book probably INVENTED the “there was only one bed” trope. It introduced Queequeg by literally making him lie in the same hotel bed as Ishmael. Peak strangers to lovers if you ask me

•That’s not even it. Ishmael, uncomfortable at first, wakes up surprised by how well he slept. And in a later chapter, they are described to lie together as compared to a husband and wife.

•Also, Queequeg is an enormous Polinesian man with Māori tattoos on his face, who BY THE WAY collects human heads. Yeah, that gave Ishmael a very fun first impression of him

•The author breaks the narrative every few chapters to info dump us about whales (sometimes inaccurately, there was no Google in 1850 so I don’t blame him). Oh, yeah, because Herman Melville accidentally embarked on a whale hunting expedition for few years, so Moby Dick is inspired from his experience. But that’s a story for another time.

•My favorite info dump/conspiracy theory that he has is presented right at the start of the book. It’s about how different heroes of mythology and history, including Hercules and Saint George, might have been actually whale hunters. Ishmael is such a dork I can’t-

And these are only the things that I can say off the top of head, with a faint memory of the book from three years ago, when I binge read it in two days, so please feel free to add on. I fucking love Moby Dick go read it right now

[macaulaytwins]

you’re in his dms, I’m ghosting him bc he didn’t know what the picture of dorian gray was. we are not the same

[camoooh]

No darling I still think you're the prettiest boy I've ever seen it's just the painting hidden in your old school room that depicts the havoc that your sins have wreaked on your soul threw me off a bit

[vronskies]

emma (2020)

[dakidoesdumbsh1t]

Born to watch silly, whimsical shows about exploring space and our place in it forced to write essays analysing classical Polish literature

[anemiacx]

Henry: could you do us a favour?

Francis: for you, my best of friends, I would literally cover up a murder you committed, plant my DNA at the crime scene and take the blame for you if you asked me to.

Henry: so will you do the dishes?

Francis: no

[flowersforfrancis]

I fear a life of mundanity.

[superconfusedcoryn]

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are like the Numbers 12 and 13.

I won't elaborate. I don't think I can elaborate. It just makes sense.

[b1rdcatchers]

muppet Great Gatsby casting

I read this once in eighth grade forgive me

kermit could not be gatsby because i respect him too much

alternative: beeker as owl eyes because his funny noises are drunk-adjacent

^I know this is a deep dive into the archives but she is such an excellent foil I can't let it go. She isn't as conventionally attractive as daisy but her eyes hold an immense vitality

^apparently the old guys in the book are jewish my bad

continuing the proposition that beeker is owl eyes: *looks into casket* “meep meep“

[inkmage13]

RIP Victor Frankenstein, you would've loved Japanese robots with lab-grown living human skin