#class 2. have to present on my final project tomorrow (i haven't started it but can't really change my topic bc i already talked w the prof

[kneworder]

this is the closest i have ever come to failing all my classes 😃

[lantur]

I typed up a whole long tumblr post since I haven't written in a while and wanted to process my feelings, and then my laptop froze and shut down and it got deleted lmao. So here's the quick verson:

wins,

Made homemade chicken stock for the first time ever last Thursday - a cooking milestone for me! I was so happy with how it turned out.

Had a wonderful weekend with Derek playing so much of our favorite board game, Spirit Island, together. <3

Delivered a presentation / training to a class of professionals about the disease I work with, and it went SO well - totally worth working 6-8 pm on Tuesday night.

Finished writing a proposal about why my job deserves to continue having its grant funding renewed for the next 2 years. The proposal was almost 10 pages long and I am very proud of myself for finishing and submitting ahead of time. The due date is tomorrow and I submitted on Tuesday.

Have been consistent with my yoga practice all month. <3

Loving Abbott Elementary!

struggles,

Spent most of last week very depressed.

Have spent most of this week mildly depressed to the point it feels like I have a cold. I have super low energy and low motivation. Doing anything feels like pulling teeth.

Had a breakthrough after therapy today, realizing that a lot of my current struggles stem from needing something new, needing a fresh start, after four solid months of struggle with my mental health and the (related) constant deterioration of my family situation.

I won't get a fresh start with my family. But I can get new creative projects and outlets. I think that it's time for me to get back to the scrapbooking project I started earlier this year. It's also time for another new creative project. I have been longing to write something lenghty and complicated like delicate again, but the fic inspiration is not there. Maybe it's finally time, after 15+ years of writing fanfiction, to try writing an original story, just for fun, even if no one else ever reads it.

There are things about my current situation that I can't change, and I need / it's time for me to change the things I can.