#clamp shitpost

[marikodraws]

had to draw this to get it out of my head lmao 🐣

[tyrianluda]

What if i cosplayed jouta kujo for dashcon 2

how dare you remind me of Jouta Kujo from JoJo's Bizarre Married Life in CLAMP IN WONDERLAND (1994)

[ikenoklasm]

Robespierre in Elysium (or the in between??)watching me draw him with soft features and making cursed crossovers with the Genshin twink that got me looking into Frev - which led to me seeing Janelle's fashion vid

[askkurofai]

CLAMP, brainstorming for TRC: "Omg what if we designed contradictory characters that make sense!"

Kurogane: Lone wolf family man

Fai: Socially distant extrovert

Sakura: Amnesiac holder of memories

Syaoran: Orphan boy his own father

[pluckingstarsoffmoontrees]

X/1999 is the story of three high schoolers, a middle schooler, a highschool dropout, a sex worker and a newspaper editor fighting to save the world from a former vet, the most terminally online teenager ever, a rather confused JDSF private, a fresh-out-of-the-tank clone, a clerk, a coma patient and the local high school’s star basketball player.

Also Daisuke and Hinoto were a thing (for some reason).

[dlzdrz]

Am I nuts or something

[faceless-dude]

...it was him.

[kamuishiro]

never forget it's canon

[2sweetforu]

Yeah….

[watery-melon-baller]

i need all of you to know I am not intelligent because today I saw this

lying on the floor and me thinking it was a chip clip picked it up. it was not a chip clip. it was a mouse trap and it pinched my finger but in my defense i thought it was a chip clip okay look at me wouldn't you also pick it up. wouldn't you.

[thewizardofozwel]

They should give Sakura a glock again. Tokyo Revelations (punished) Sakura was right, being the most powerful wizard in existence with a gun is still an upgrade.

Clear Card Arc: Sakura isn't taking names this time

[pluckingstarsoffmoontrees]

Random sudden thought

So we all* know about early X/1999 Kamui being mean all the time and generally being a hissy cat, and this has a variety of well-documented causes (his mom had burned to death in front of him, there were a bunch of people telling him he was the chosen one and being violent when he didn't meet up to their expectations, etc)

But I don't think it's the only reason.

After all Kamui used to live in Okinawa, which has a subtropical climate and where you nearly never need a coat.

And now he lives in Tokyo, with snow and other cold stuff like that.

Poor boy must be freezing.

(More seriously, it seems like he's handling a lot of stuff by himself, from a move, to getting a new place to live and a new school, to managing day to day life with its grocery shopping and budgeting, to any inquiries into his mom's suspected death.)

(i suspect the lack of proper clothing must be the cherry on top of a very shitty cake).

*X/1999's tiny fanbase.

[faceless-dude]

/searching for soulmates by making the most stupid riddlememe possible/

[penumbramewtwos]

When does Okita accept and happily embrace her Mewtwo side?

Gonna make and artwork and maybe a shitpost for this soon :>

She fully accepts it around the year 2085 (52 years old) roughly anyway. Kind of like giving up smoking or mental health in general, she has a few near attempts at finally accepting her mewtwo side. but they are long or short lived throughout her life until around that point in time. Funnily enough, she battles along side her trainer Rachael while she's still in this mental stage, mainly for food and accomodation money. I did have a short story about that moment she accepted herself here on tumblr, but i'm having trouble finding it :< so If you're interested I'll paste it below the cut ^^

Inside the mind of a Hybrid girl. Okita's Acceptance: [2nd person [perspective] Taking a look around an abandoned gym, the first thing you notice are the shattered mirrors; enough to give bad luck to anyone for all eternity… It's desolate and quiet with only an echo of what was once a bustling Pokemon Gym. You look down at your three digit paw and squeeze it into a fist. The soft lavender-pink micro-fur leaves you feeling empty, as you read a familiar sign, scattered over the floor. 'Symphony City Gym'… After a few deep breaths through your snout, you swallow in fear, and feel obliged to mend one mirror with telekinesis, doing so with your eyes clamped shut…

"There's nowhere to run now", You think to yourself… Even though you know how much it hurts to see it… … Reluctantly, you open your eyes to see a 2-metre-tall, pale pink feline-esque reflection staring back at you. Your mind races, hoping this tearful being will let you free from it's gaze… There's no need to get upset… You are who you are… "Why is this me? What did I do to deserve this!", You yell at the reflection with disgust in your telepathy. "I was Human… … I am Human! I am Human I am Human I am Human!" With a deep howl you let out a cry, desperately trying to use the human voice that you once had, but to no avail, "MEEEW…! … MEW MEW MEW, MEW MEW!" It's no use. You default back to your telepathy, wailing your despair through tears that cloud your vision, "You're not me! … I'm not you! I'll never be you!" Through your anger boiling into frustration you smash all the remaining mirrors into smithereens along with the gym wall fittings, almost collapsing it in the process… Panting, crying, and being choked up on your tears you unintentionally look back into the smashed mirror to see the sad Mewtwo bawling it's eyes out… You see a note on the ground addressed to you, for your 18th birthday… But that was some time ago… Picking it up with your bulbous fingertips… You recall trying to hide this card in the floorboards of the gym, too upset to read it again… It reads: Dear O'Key You're another year older and still just as humbling to us as ever. Happy 18th birthday our special girl, enjoy your day. We both want you to know how much we love all of you, no matter what. We failed you once as parents… And vowed that no one shall ever take you from us again… You're always our Okita. It doesn't matter what you are, all that matters is who you are. Someone kind. Someone generous. The circumstances of your DNA matter not to anyone. You're still Okita. Our Daughter. Love from Mum and Dad. A single happy tear rolls down your face… Once more. You look back into the shattered mirror. But this time, you not only see yourself. You feel it too.

[noa-ciharu]

I'm back with my poll clamp shitpost! In this episode we're doing the pretty boy competition (LGBT+ edition). Each poll will be open for one day and this will be the master post where I add links to polls

Since first round looks a bit confusing let me explain: only in first round we have three candidates in each bracket but from there on it'll be 1 vs 1. So from 24 candidates we are going down to 8

First round, left side:

Lantis vs Yue vs Watanuki (Winner: Yue)

Suoh vs Iemitsu vs Nokoru (Winner: Iemitsu)

Tachibana vs TRC!Syaoran vs X!Subaru (Winner: X!Subaru)

Yukito vs Akira vs Takeshi & Kentarou (Winner: Yukito)

First round, right side:

Kakyou vs TB!Subaru vs Eagle Vision (Winner: TB!Subaru)

Fai vs Kazahaya vs Koryuu (Winner: Fai)

CCS!Syaoran vs Kaito vs Touya (Winner: Touya)

Zagato vs Ran vs Kamui (Winner: Kamui)

Second Round:

Yue vs Iemitsu (Winner: Yue)

X!Subaru vs Yukito (Winner: X!Subaru)

TB!Subaru vs Fai (Winner: Fai)

Touya vs Kamui (Winner: Kamui)

Semifinals:

Yue vs X!Subaru (Winner: Yue)

Fai vs Kamui (Winner: Fai)

Third Place:

X!Subaru vs Kamui (winner: Kamui)

Finals:

Yue vs Fai (winner: Yue)

[velvetsssapphic]

posting this for anyone who doesn't have AO3 <3

this is from last month and it's a bit of a shitpost so I wanted to post this before I get to the good stuff. enjoy!

Disgust rolled her eyes at Joy as she watched the yellow emotion break down in another laughing fit as Riley watched various TikTok videos of poorly-made memes such as cats meowing to the beat of the music and manipulated videos of Burger King commercials with low-quality music in the background for the umpteenth time this week. Ever since Riley was given permission to download the app, Joy had made sure to save every single video she found even slightly humorous to Riley's phone- which, considering that she bursts out laughing when leaves fall on the ground, was a pretty long list.

Disgust covered her ears as Joy's laughing reached a crescendo, and the rest of the emotions soon followed suit.

"Oh my god Joy, it is NOT that funny" Disgust hissed, backing out of the way as Anger flared up and Fear jumped three feet in the air in shock.

Joy pulled herself off the floor and composed herself, turning to face her. A wide grin spread across her face. "Oh come on! It might be stupid, but it's funny! Have some fun and quit being so uptight!"

Disgust huffed in annoyance, crossing her arms. "You can have as much "fun" as you want, as long as you don't shatter my eardrums with your incessant laughing."

It was Joy's turn to roll her eyes this time, ignoring her as she propped her elbows on the console and turned back to the screen.

Riley scrolled to another video. This time a picture of a loaf of bread spun in circles while a distorted version of "blurred lines" played in the background.

Joy clamped her hands on her mouth as she attempted to choke back her laughter, on the verge of exploding into another laughing fit.

Disgust glared at her from her place at the console. "Don't you dare ," Disgust threatened, staring daggers into the yellow emotion.

Joy choked before momentarily gaining control of herself, but it was evident to all of them the dam was about to break. Much like Anger couldn't control his temper and Sadness couldn't stop herself from crying, it was only a matter of time before the embodiment of happiness could prevent herself from laughing.

Another video popped up, this time with a bass-boosted fart played over a car crash. 

"DON'T-" Disgust didn't get to finish her sentence as Joy burst into another uproar of laughter, losing control of herself and spraying spit all over the buttons on the console, causing Disgust to throw herself away from it and letting out a scream as she frantically fanned herself in discomfort.

"EW!!! JOY, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU????" She screamed at the emotion who was currently laughing too hard to hear her. Not like she was paying attention to her anyways.

Joy fell to the ground again, gasping and wheezing as she rolled on the floor.

Disgust rubbed at her temple and wondered what in God's name did she do to have to be stuck with these idiots. Then turned to Sadness who was watching Joy with a small smile on her face. "Honestly, what do you even see in her?"

Sadness perked up, slightly startled as the green emotion suddenly put the spotlight on her. "I- um, well... she's sweet.. and... caring... and.... she’s kinda hot too..." She whispered, her eyes widening as soon as she realized what she just said.

Disgust whipped around to the blue emotion, giving her a look that said "did you just say what I think you said?"

Sadness began to backtrack, a blush spreading across her face as she attempted to cover up her hidden affection for the yellow emotion, who was currently still engulfed in a laughing fit. "Uh... I mean.. s-she's really…. pretty?" Sadness mentally slapped herself and wished a black hole would come in and take her now.

Disgust turned to Joy, who was still rolling around wheezing on the ground, and waved a hand in front of her face. “You heard what your girlfriend said about you?"

Joy pulled herself off the floor and on her feet, still giggling slightly. She glanced at Sadness, who was attempting to hide in her sweater. Joy laughed at the sight, throwing her arm around her and resting her head on hers. "What did you say about me, Sadness?"

"Nothing," Sadness quickly replied, turning her head away from her and silently praying that she would just drop the subject. But, unfortunately for her, Joy never seemed to know when to quit, even when she needed to.

"Aw, don't be like that!" Joy pressed. "I bet it was something sweet, right, blueberry? "

Sadness' blush worsened thanks to Joy's pet name for her. "I.. said you were pretty. That's all." Sadness mumbled, hoping Joy would buy it.

"Actually, she said you were hot ." Disgust interrupted, her arms crossed with an evil smile on her face, smirking at the horrified look Sadness gave her before burying herself deeper into her sweater to the point where they couldn't see her eyes anymore.

Joy's eyes widened, shocked that the quiet and timid emotion who usually stumbled over her own words when trying to compliment her and blushed dark blue when Joy would hold her hand had enough courage to call her hot in front of her. 

Joy's smile widened, turning her girlfriend around to face her and pulling her sweater back down to its original position before grabbing her face and kissing her on the forehead.

"Do you think I'm hot, sweetie?" Joy teased, her smile growing wider as Sadness' cheeks darkened in hue while refusing to make eye contact. Sadness mumbled something unintelligible that Joy didn’t quite catch which caused her to laugh. “Telllll meeee…” Joy urged, bringing Sadness’ face close enough that their noses were touching.

Sadness made an attempt to escape, which failed since Joy was gripping onto her as if she’d melt through the cracks on the floor or dissolve into thin air if she didn’t. Since when the hell did she become so strong?

Sadness felt like her face was on fire, and much to her discomfort, Joy persisted, taking advantage of the fact that Sadness couldn’t ever bring herself to say no to her, as if she would ever want to in the first place. “Tell me tell me tell me tell meeee-”

Sadness couldn't hold it in any longer. “Okayfineithinkyou’rehot canyoustopnow?!” Sadness cried, pulling away and covering her ears as Joy squealed in delight. The others audibly groaned, which fell on deaf ears as Joy danced around like she won a contest while Sadness stared at the ground wishing some external force from the outside world would interrupt them so that they could forget about this. Sadly, nothing came to rescue her.

Sighing in disappointment when she realized nothing was gonna distract her from this, Sadness glanced up awkwardly at Joy, who wore a mischievous smile on her face, with a glint of something in her eye that Sadness couldn't quite place. "I knew you couldn't resist me!" Joy exclaimed, spinning around and smirking at her, taking immense pleasure in watching the other girl squirm in discomfort.

Sadness covered her face with her hands, desperately trying to keep herself from smiling. "Joy, stop..." 

Disgust faceplammed. "Can you two go five minutes without obsessing over each other?!"

Anger peeked over at Disgust from behind his newspaper and gave her an annoyed glare. "Don’t waste your breath. They've been wrapped around each other ever since they got back from Long Term Memory. You couldn't pry them off with a crowbar." 

Joy rolled her eyes at them both and leaned down to sling her arm around Sadness, whose face was still on fire. "Oh come on guys, this is what you do when you love someone!"

Disgust made a face in, well, disgust, and flipped her hair, which smacked Fear in the face. “Well, luckily I don't love anyone.”

Anger scoffed, placing his newspaper on the table beside him and getting up from his spot on the couch. “The only thing Disgust cares about is collecting hoards of free makeup samples and jumping on the next fashion trend that’ll blow over in two weeks.”

“Well at least I don’t leave crumpled up newspapers on the floor and light Headquarters on fire like you do!” Disgust quipped. 

“Oh, you want to go, missy?!”

“Don’t even get me started-”

“GUYS, STOP!!!!” Joy yelled, putting herself in between them to avoid any more conflict, but to mostly make sure that Anger did, in fact, not light anything (or anyone, especially Fear) on fire.

“The point is, sometimes, when you love another person, you do things for each other that you don’t do with anybody else, and… sometimes, you get to do special things for them!”

Anger let out a humorless laugh while Disgust looked like she was two seconds away from launching herself out of Headquarters.  “Yeah. special things . I'm sure you do a lot of special things for her that we don’t need to know about.”

“Yeah. Count me out. Love is gross. Do whatever you want, but keep it far away from me.” Disgust said, picking up a nail filer and sitting beside Anger on the couch.

Joy waved them off dismissively and returned to holding her girlfriend close to her. “Whatever, at least I got my blueberry here so I can smother her with as much love as I want!!” Joy’s heart doubled in size when she looked down and found Sadness smiling up at her.

Before Sadness could say anything back, the five of them turned their attention back to the screen once they saw that Riley had scrolled to another video, which happened to be a video of a Family Guy meme of Carter Pewterschmidt singing while rearranging furniture. This, according to Joy, was hilarious; causing her to let out yet another roar of laughter.

Disgust threw her hands up in frustration, having had enough of this. “That's it. I can't do this anymore. Goodbye.” she growled before stomping off.

Sadness sighed, an overwhelming feeling of gratitude and adoration for the emotion wrapped up in her arms.

“This is why I love you.”