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korpuskat · 4 years

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Kinktober Day 18 - Omegaverse

[Ao3 Mirror] Rating: Explicit Word Count: 3,571 Summary: You’ve spent years pretending you’re a Beta. One stray Quirk has that lie ripped away, thrown into heat... right in front of your leader, Shigaraki. Contains: mutual noncon, omegaverse; possessive Shigaraki, breeding, knotting,

For one moment, one moment that stretched on and on and on, you watch as Shigaraki’s eyes change. The haze slides between you, washes over his senses, and Tranquil’s Quirk does as promised: Shigaraki’s eyes fall half-lidded, mouth dropping open in a relaxed bliss, even as his eyes burn to stay focused.

The haze moves over you. And in that moment, you wish you’d been facing down Endeavor. A single, frantic inhale and it would all over.

All the years spent scouring suppressants off back-alley deals, dodging every Alpha that got too close, every governmental body that wanted so badly to stick its fingers into your life. All of it, it all comes crashing down in the face of one Hero, touted and praised for their Quirk: it’s fine, news anchors would assure the public, Warmth is perfectly safe, an immaculate nonviolent option for Alphas and Betas- no need to worry about that oh so rare Omega. If there’s a villainous Omega, surely they are already mated, have been mated since their first—

Warmth burns in your nose. “Tomura,” Your fist is in Shigaraki’s coat before you can think twice. You need to get out of here- and with your Leader half drifting pleasantly, you’ll have to drag him. But he doesn’t move, red sneakers glued to the pavement and you can’t hold your breath any longer.

It’s all over. One inhale- and it’s like spiced apple cider, the faint smoke off a burning log, thick and heavy and curling down, down, down inside you. The scent twists into your guts and for a moment, it is warmth. You think your face may match Shigaraki’s, that easy, smooth ecstasy- he turns towards you. His eyes look dulled, glassy- and his nostrils lift as he breathes in- expects to find firewood and cinnamon and instead, instead

Warmth explodes out, sparks the desperate embers in your body you’ve spent your entire life stomping out. Like a fire, it spreads through your veins, licks across every inch of your skin, and as it burns its way into your brain, you watch as your leader’s eyes shift. Twisting in confusion and then shrinking in shock, betrayal, understanding—- and just as the warmth warps into heat you watch as the pinpricks of his pupils expand out, widen until there’s only a thin ring of red left. Any trace of bliss is gone, left in ashes.

It takes you- and everything you’ve ever wanted to avoid happens at once. Slick pools between your legs, which give out. Your world narrows down and you can taste it. It’s not Warmth that scents the air, it’s you. Every face turns, every pro hero’s awareness centering on you: Omega, in heat, unmated.

The last strands of your sanity make you cry- one of them will take you, crush you down into an obedient little house omega, a breeder until there’s nothing left of you- and in the same moment you’re drooling, one hand pressed between your legs to alleviate the throbbing ache, spreading your knees wider in wordless prayer they’ll come, any of them, all of them, to fill you, to breed you, to fuck you until all you can do is cum and

One steps forward. A young Alpha, entranced by your scent, your need- and you meet his eyes, can’t stop the whine from rising in your throat, a warbling plea for mercy. You want him to stay away, to go away- he reaches for you-

A hand clamps over his wrist- deep, rumbling through the crowd is a truly primal, animalistic growl. His wrist crumbles away, the fear never overtaking desire in his eyes. Shigaraki turns towards the rest of the heroes, twisting his coat where your other hand still holds onto it, and dares them: ”Mine.”

The possessiveness makes your body want- and the last vestiges of your right mind are screaming out no no no because you don't want to be anybody's, not an Alpha's, not Shigaraki's. But his scent is strong, the musk of an Alpha ready to fight, to defend his brood- cedar and earth and a quiet tang of citrus and for all the careful control you've kept for years, your cunt oozes slick and ruts against your hand for any stimulation at all. Somehow- somehow this'll work out, you'll get away, Shigaraki won't-

You don’t have time to worry about it. A cool breeze blows up- up from below your knees. There’s no need to look down; even your lust-addled mind knows that misty feeling of Kurogiri’s warpgate. Gravity itself shifts and you’re falling, clutching desperately to the tail of Shigaraki’s coat. Above you now, the portal tightens as your leader falls through, the last glimpse of a sunny day obscured by Tranquil’s face. They open their mouth, perhaps to speak, but the warpgate cinches closed- cuts off their horrified expression. The bar’s stuffy air is nearly unscented. You wouldn’t even be able to tell on any other day, but now- now you’re too sensitive not to. The faint aroma from a half-drunk glass of whiskey, the sting of the chemicals in the cleaner Kurogiri uses for the counter (and Kurogiri, too, as the faint scent of dew) and there- there- like cinnamon in a burning campfire, like white powdered ash, like the stench of burnt flesh-

“The fuck’s going-” Dabi starts- and your gaze snaps to his. Those cerulean eyes shrink down and down, consumed by the black of his pupil as your heat-scent finds him.

The campfire scent sharpens- and you’re drooling, half a mind of not Dabi, please, not Dabi, half still signing out Alpha.

“Get out.” Shigaraki says- and the command, the dominance there makes your clit tingle.

“Tomura Shigaraki, are you-” Kurogiri speaks- and the rational part of your mind notes the continued evenness to his voice, how his scent is not warring with the other Alphas’, not a trace of dew in the air. Dabi takes a step forward-

and pine and earth and the sharp tingle of citrus explode out as Shigaraki roars, “Get out!” It leaves no question, neither other Alpha stupid enough to fight him. A flash of swirling purple smoke and they’re gone- and you’re alone with him. Alone, on the floor, one hand still curled into his coat, the other between your legs.

He looks down at you- and the last thin ring of crimson burns. On weak arms you shuffle back, cling to what reason is left. “Shi- Shigaraki, don’t.” His chest heaves- and he follows you as you crawl. “Please, I didn’t- I don’t want...”

“Oh?” He starts, his mouth up-turned, but not a speck of humor in his voice. “Tell me what you don’t want, Omega.“ You flinch as Shigaraki spits the word.

“You-” Shigaraki snarls as your voice breaks, “You don’t want to be mated either, re- remember? Gets in the way, you don’t want-”

He drops down- knees fall hard on either side of your hips- and one deadly hand finds your throat, every finger except one squeezing down until you’re wide-eyed and quiet. His voice rasps, the rut rising in him to meet your heat, that primal need to lay claim drowning out every long conversation you’d had- “Don’t tell me what I want.” The mix of fear and want has a weak whine rising in your throat, vibrating against his palm. Shigaraki leans down- and his scent overwhelms every sense, his musk warm and strong. It settles in your belly, mixes with your heat- against all wishes your thighs press together, give you anything at all to grind on as another wave of slick builds— and with that sweet, sour taste of citrus, of old clementines weaseling deeper in your brain, you bare your neck to him.

Shigaraki groans and the sound has you writhing, moaning, thrusting up against him desperation. The hand at your throat turns, keeps your face angled into his hair as his sharp noise presses against your scent gland. He breathes in deep and moans “You smell delicious.” His hips rock against the air, “Fucking hiding this from me? Little bitch Omega, just waiting to be bred, to be mated.” He nips at the gland, not deep enough to claim you, but enough to make stars burst in your eyes, the last remaining bits of your sober mind smothered by the all-consuming ache between your legs.

“Please, please, Tomura.”

He doesn’t need any more encouragement. Shigaraki rips at your clothes, anything that doesn’t shred under his rut-driven strength ends up decayed, nothing more than frayed strings that cling to your body. Your underwear is the last barrier- and as he tears it free, the true power of your scent is overwhelming, even to you. The raw need of your slick soaks the ruined scrap of fabric- and Shigaraki holds it up to his nose, breathes in deep.

Moaning- and you don't even recognize it as your own until your legs are spreading before him, hooking over his hips. You shouldn't. You shouldn't be submitting to him, arching up and presenting your aching center- it's like a buzzing in the back of your brain that this isn't right, isn't what you want, but there's nothing you can do about it. Like your body is being controlled by someone else, some pervert that made you out to be the exact thing you'd feared, you'd been avoiding-

Drool slips from your lips as Tomura fumbles his own pants down- thick black sweatpants rucked around his thighs. His Alpha cock is everything you'd dreamed of, long and thick, the first trace of a knot already swelling along the base, like something out of your most shameful fantasies. The head slides through your slick, nudges along the underside of your swollen clit just once- and the needy rise of your hips has Tomura growling again, angling his cock down and-

He sinks in. As much as your heat has prepared your cunt to be used, it's still a stretch- a fullness of a real Alpha cock completely different than anything you'd imagined, anything your unmated body was ready for. Whimpers suffocate in your throat and you stare up at him, wide-eyed and shocked, floating aimlessly in the raw sensation of being complete for the first time. No, no, not complete, not yet, not without-

Shigaraki groans, eyes half lidded as he watches utterly rapt by the sight of his cock disappearing into your heat-slickened hole. His teeth bite into his cracked lower lip while eight fingers bite into your thighs. Shuddering, he murmurs in a voice you've never heard before, completely lost in his resultant rut, "Omega, my Omega..."

"Yours- only yours, Tomura." Your mouth says despite the buzzing, the ache between your eyes. A partner, a mate- some part of you lulls with the thought, soothes the burning need in your body. Someone to take care of you (someone to own you) and it's someone so powerful like Shigaraki, you'll be set, it's all you need, a strong mate.

And through it all his cock works in deeper, until the curve of his deflated knot sits at your entrance. He withdraws- and your hips chase him, lock your ankles behind his back to keep him close, a stranger's pathetic little pleas of "No, no, stay," falling from your mouth.

"Quiet." Shigaraki growls, feral and deep in his chest- the raw, irrational reaction of an Alpha being commanded by an unmated Omega. He wrenches your legs off him, takes them in an unforgiving grasp beneath your knees- and bends them back, all the way back until the insides of your thighs are aching, burning, you knees bouncing off your shoulders as he fucks you. A snap of his hips and the head of his cock finds the firm wall of your cervix. It rips a squeal from your throat- and a moan from his.

"Feel that?" He breathes, but doesn't wait for you to reply. The words spill from his mouth in a frantic rush- as though if he can't say them now he'll never get them out. "Gonna make you mine, fuckin' breed you. Gonna cum so deep in you, fill you up with my pups and- hnng" Silvery hair falls around you as his head drops forward, "I'm- I'm-"

He's so big, his cock so swollen in his rut that he can't miss; every stroke rubs on those sweet spots before pummeling your cervix- and with your heat- artificially started though it is- it doesn't even hurt. No, it just makes that primal part of your brain to scream out: yes, yes, yes, strong Alpha- "Tomura."

"Yes! Scream my name when you cum, when I claim you!"

Claim you, cl- claim you? Claim you? The word rattles in your head, makes a cold sweat bead at the base of your neck. Claim? The fog parts and you're hurtling towards an edge, towards something you can't come back from, can't avoid-

"N-no, wait." Your voice is small, weak, lost under Shigaraki's feral growling. "Don't, please."

It's too late. Shigaraki snarls, "Take it, take my knot!" His hips stutter, press hard against you- even without his knot it had been such a tight fit and now. All his weight bears down on the tight curl of your cervix, leaves no room for question: he forces your body to accommodate him. It's wrong- it's wrong- you don't want this- but your cunt opens up, relaxes, lets him nestle in deeper and-

His knot slips in.

It's instantaneous. Shigaraki moans so loud your ears vibrate, head lifting up towards the ceiling, showing his fast-fluttering pulse under the long scars of his neck. His cock throbs deep inside you, gushing cum right against your womb. It's primal, involuntary; his knot swells, inflates with each gravelly moan until it's locked in place, keeps his pelvis pressed hard against your clit. Your cunt clenches, body desperate to draw his seed in ever deeper, the instinctual need to be used and bred and you're cumming, twitching around him. Tear well in your eyes as the heat haze clears by a fraction with your binding.

His mouth drops open fully for just a moment and you spot them. For one single heartbeat you're afraid-

and Shigaraki's head drops forward. His teeth sink in and in and in over your neck and you're screaming. If it's yes or no you can't even tell, lost to the burn in your throat, in your shoulder as his fangs split flesh. Pain is all you feel, unable to push him off as blood wells up, spills hot over your skin and then- and then it's not.

It's a light that turns on in your brain. Like an applause sign, a cue that, no, it shouldn't hurt, you should be clapping, screaming. Lag, a loading screen as your body processes the unspoken command from Tomura's teeth- and the weak little orgasm explodes. Raw liquid pleasure whites out everything except Alpha and knot. Where you had been trembling, you're near spasming, every limb lost to the rhythmic full-body contractions- your clit so achingly sensitive pulsing against wiry, silver hairs. Your nails bite into his shoulders and you want to hurt him, scrape deep red marks- and from the moan that reverberates, bubbles in your blood, you don't think he minds at all.

Tomura collapses over you, releases his hold on the backs of your knees, lets them flop down on either side of his hips once more. They twitch from time to time, weak little spasms in response to the subtle shifting of his cock, of his torso against your overstimulated body. Blood oozes from his shoulders, soaks into the loose collar of his shirt. He doesn't move, at least not intentionally- keeps his face pressed to the side of your throat, lazily licking and kissing the deep, still-bleeding bonding wound.

You sniffle, turn away- and to your disgust, can't bring yourself to shove him off you. No, his soft licks keep you shivering, keeps raw dopamine and oxytocin pulsing in your veins. With bloody fingertips you card through his hair, reveal one pale, dry ear through the heavy waves of his unbrushed hair. Tomura. Your Alpha. You- you were mated. A fresh surge of tears blurring your vision until you have to pull back to run at your face.

His lifts his head then. Even with your bleary eyes you can tell he's still half out of it, unsure what's actually happened. Sweat has left his hair sticking to his scarred, cracked face, but it's your blood smeared over his lips and chin. Tomura begins to speak- but all that comes out is a hoarse rasp. He blinks, surprised by his own voice, and tries again, "Crying?" There's a kind of annoyance with it, the familiarity of your leader's abrasiveness, his inexperience with emotion. It's too close to the Shigaraki you trusted before-

Your lips twist, press hard together until your chin dimples in an effort to keep yourself from sobbing outright. Tomura blinks slowly- and a cool thumb brushes over your cheek, interrupts one tear's track. Your voice is small, childlike. "You bit me. Marked me."

He blinks again, like the words are tumbling around in his brain, not quite reaching where they need to go- and he looks down. The haze is gone in a flash, lust-blown pupils narrowing down in shock as he mutters a "Fuck." low under his breath. The hand at your cheek touches your neck, stretches the pierced skin there as he licks his lips- only to flinch and touch his mouth, come away with even more crimson on his fingertips. "Fuck."

He's pushing off you and just like that the post-bonding affection dries up. He's nearly back to his knees when he pulls his hips back- pain lances through your lower half, makes your legs latch to his waist again with a pitiful wail of "Stoooop."

Tomura flinches. The animal comfort of his body returns, awkwardly tucking one arm beside you while the other hovers, frets between your bleeding neck, your tear-stained cheeks, and awkward touches to your hair. He's never done this before. It's apparent enough in his shaking, restrained caresses, must be from the bond, the need to comfort his wounded mate. It makes you sick, this is not the same Shigaraki you knew before and this time, biting your lips does not stop the sob that racks your body.

"Stop." He demands, sharp and mean. It's your turn to flinch, ducking your face away from him- and Tomura softens, tries again. "Stop crying." He licks his lips again, tries to stroke his thumb over your cheek. "We'll- we'll deal with this. It'll be fine."

He doesn't want this either. The thought makes your tears slow, makes you turn back towards your leader's- your mate's frantic eyes. Tomura didn't want to be mated, was too busy plotting the end of society itself to give a shit about mating. Hell, he'd complained about-

"I'll... I'll have Kurogiri get something. For... this." He winces at his own words, but nods towards your body anyway. You nod along with him. "It's fine. Better each other than an outsider, anyway. I killed one, didn't I? One of those heroes who tried to take you, my- my Omega-" He sneers at his own mouth, the phrase still odd on his tongue. "What are you smiling at?"

You hadn't even realize you were smiling. the tears still rolling over your cheeks. You sniff, touch his shoulders. He stiffens at the touch- even with his cock knotted inside you, his cum lodged deep inside, that distrust runs too deep to shake immediately. "You don't have to go to that horrible rut house again."

"What?" One eye narrows as though you've spoken gibberish.

You shrug one shoulder, deflate a little. The collar to his shirt ripples as you fidget with it. "Looking on the bright side."

Tomura stops, stares at you. Your lips twist in the silence, feel bad for making light of it all. It's serious, after all- the little wins don't make up for and you expect Tomura's scowl to return, but it doesn't. He doesn't move for a long moment, before he lifts one hand and touches his still-elongated teeth. Around his hand his mutters, "The teeth caps tasted like cough syrup."

You grin, at that, feel another tear trickle past. "Don't even have to use them at all anymore."

Tomura hums, lowers his face down to your shoulder again, runs his pointy nose along your throat and breathes in your scent. It hadn't yet changed to reflect his, still fresh, untainted Omega in heat. "The Betas there never smelled this good, either..." A shiver shoots down your spine as he kisses the bitemark. He scoffs, then adds, "You don't have to buy suppressants anymore either."

You sniffle, but find your vision clearing up as you peer down at him. "My bank account should thank you."

A snort is the only response he gives you, pleased to tuck himself in close to you. Your hand slides under the collar of his shirt, down along his back, nails dragging over every knob of his spine you can reach. "You're not the worst option." He says against your collarbone, muffled as his eyelashes brush over your skin.

You hum and touch his hair, stroke the silky strands behind his ear. "Yeah, you too."

#Tomura Shigaraki #Shigaraki tomura #bnha #bnha x reader #tomura shigaraki x reader #shigaraki x reader #shigaraki imagine #kat talks

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marbleheavy · 4 years

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Flowers for You, From Me

Solangelo Hanahaki Disease AU

Word Count: 8,621

Rating: Teen and Up ( for language)

Read on AO3!

It started with a petal, just one.

Nico shot up in his bed, Tartarus itself lingering behind his eyes even when he was faced with just his empty cabin. It felt like he was still choking on the river phlegethon but wait, no, he was actually choking. He was heaving, his throat closing around something as he clutched at his chest. Sharp coughs were racking him, his chest tightening painfully and he thought that maybe he was dying. Panic was filling his chest, he was terrified that he was still in the pit. That the cabin around him was an illusion, a trick of the mind, another torture of Tartarus. Nico was taking gasping breaths and coughing and suddenly he was tumbling out of his bed. Even as he could barely breathe, he was clambering toward his door and ripping it open, moonlight pouring into the cabin. He was desperately trying to prove to himself that he hadn’t somehow been dragged back down, that he was still at Camp Half-Blood, still safe.

He raised his hands to his face as he crumpled to his knees, coughing and coughing and coughing. Nico could taste blood in his mouth, metallic and sharp on his tongue and his lungs were burning. He was gagging at this point, nearly vomiting as it felt like his windpipe was battling between climbing out or closing entirely. And then he coughed something into his hand, something that left a sweet flavor beneath all the blood. He sucked in a shuddering breath and looked at his palm, where a single, blood-coated petal lay, a yellow edge peeking out.

‘Is that a fucking sunflower?’ he thought, ‘What kind of sick joke is this?’

Nico blinked, his lungs still heaving even as his coughing stopped. He looked up and out his door, camp was quiet and dark, but it was camp. He wasn’t in Tartarus, he was in his cabin, and he had coughed up a flower petal. Nico closed his fist around the petal and stood up on trembling legs, shutting his door as he walked back to his bed. He perched on the edge of the mattress, holding out the hand fisted around the petal in front of him hesitantly. He still felt high on adrenaline and panic and couldn’t quite catch his breath. His chest was aching but he couldn’t focus on anything, his mind was a mess of fear and confusion and exhaustion. He laid back, his head hitting the pillow, and brought his hands to his chest. Nico stared at the ceiling, barely blinking and trying to slow his thoughts down to something he could actually process.

After hours, when the sun was filtering in through his windows, he was able to recognize that, beneath the weakness of his lungs and the fear, there was a profound longing for something he couldn’t really name.

——

Nico sat down at the Hades table in a huff. Percy and Jason were already there, watching him with amusement as he grumbled about being ‘so fucking tired’ and ‘needing a cup of fucking coffee’. “Rough night?” Percy asked, laughing slightly.

Nico looked up and frowned, “Yeah, something like that.”

He reached forward and grabbed his goblet now full of coffee and drank some quickly. It burned his throat raw from coughing and he barely hid his wince. He thought of the petal that was now sitting in his trash can, his stomach twisting. Jason was looking at him quizzically but Nico ignored him and took another gulp of coffee.

“Are you gonna eat anything?” Jason asked.

Nico thought of trying to swallow anything when he could barely handle a warm drink, “Not hungry.”

“Your boyfriend isn’t going to be too happy about that,” Percy teased.

Nico tensed, “My what?”

Percy smiled that stupid smile that used to make Nico weak in the knees but right now, it was turning his stomach, “You know, your boyfriend. The doctor. Blondie. Son of Apollo. Will,” he sang.

Nico set his goblet down harshly, coffee splashing out over the sides. “He’s not my boyfriend,” he mumbled.

“Not yet,” Percy said.

Nico stood up, “Not ever.”

“Whoa, dude,” Percy raised his hands up, “Chill out.”

Nico rolled his eyes and turned on his heel, storming away from the dining pavilion. He heard Jason call after him but he ignored him, his hands shoved in his pockets as he stared at the ground. He didn’t see the person approaching until he was right in front of them, centimeters away from running face first into their chest. He looked up from the flip flops in front of him to see Will looking down at him, smiling lazily with bright eyes and freckles, and it made his chest hurt. “Hey there, Death Boy. Hope you at least ate some toast before you stormed off,” Will said.

Nico scoffed and stepped back slightly, “Whatever you need to hear.”

“Aw, isn’t it a little early for all that snark?” Will laughed.

“Nope,” Nico said, pushing down the warmth he felt in his chest.

“Tell me more about the breakfast that I know you ate because I have told you a million times about how important three balanced meals a day are,” Will insisted.

“Wholesome and delicious,” Nico tried to step past him, “Now I have to go.”

“I can’t say that I believe you,” Will sighed, “So I guess I’ll just make you eat a granola bar when you come visit me in the infirmary when my shift starts in fifteen minutes.”

Nico could feel the itch of a cough start in his throat and he sucked in a breath, “Yeah, fine.”

Will smiled widely at him and Nico held his breath, his chest hitching. “See you soon, Death Boy,” Will said, waving as Nico pushed past him again.

When he was certain that Will was out of ear shot, and when he couldn’t hold his breath anymore, Nico ducked behind a tree and started coughing. He slid his back down the tree as he heaved, the crook of his elbow pressed over his mouth to muffle the sound and catch the blood splatter. Panic welled up in him again as he gagged, no longer because he thought he was in hell again but at the thought of anyone hearing him or finding him. Nico didn’t know what was happening to him but it terrified him. This fit seemed to last longer than the last and at the end of it, he coughed up three petals, all as blood-coated as the first one. He tipped his head back, closing his eyes. After a moment, he brushed the petals from his sleeve and onto the ground, breathing raspily.

Distantly, he heard other campers start to walk around camp to their various lessons and chores. He pushed himself up, standing wobbly, and peered around the tree. There was no one nearby so he darted out, walking briskly toward the infirmary. As he thought, ‘Will is probably waiting for me,’ he felt his lungs start to tense again, becoming tighter almost, like he was running out of space for air.

——

Nico met Will in the infirmary and was immediately handed a granola bar and a clementine. “This is more than I agreed to,” Nico said.

Will smiled at him, “Think of it as a bonus. You need some fruit in your life.”

Nico rolled his eyes and sat down on the edge of an infirmary bed. He placed the granola bar beside him and started peeling the clementine, the scent of sweet citrus immediately hitting him. He peeled it gently and intently, trying to avoid squishing any of the fruit. Nico could feel Will’s eyes on him after a moment and he glanced up, blushing as their gazes met. “What?” he asked quietly, looking back down again.

“Nothing,” Will smiled, “You’re just so delicate with that clementine.”

“I don’t want to squish it,” Nico muttered.

Will laughed and Nico’s stomach flipped pleasantly. “You don’t want to squish it?” Will asked.

“Yes,” Nico huffed, “It gets all sticky and ruins the whole experience.”

“Oh, so they’re an experience now?” Will was still laughing.

Nico popped a piece of the fruit into his mouth, “Obviously.”

“You’re so cute,” Will said, looking Nico in the eyes and smiling.

Nico blushed brighter and butterflies were erupting in him. He shoved another piece in his mouth to avoid saying anything back and Will shook his head fondly. Nico’s heart was racing and he felt like he was going to implode from the weight of Will’s gaze. ‘You’re reading into this,’ he told himself as he took a shaky breath, ‘Calm down.’ He deflated slightly and ate another segment.

“You up for cutting bandages?” the blonde asked after a moment.

Nico looked up, “Don’t you have enough? That’s like all I ever do.”

“You’ve played capture the flag, you know how intense it gets. We go through bandages like they’re nothing,” Will said.

“Still, I’ve cut enough bandages to wrap the entire Roman legion from head to toe, including the elephants,” Nico scoffed.

Will stood up and grabbed a roll of bandages and a pair of scissors, handing them to Nico. “Yeah, yeah,” Will sighed, “Just get cutting, Death Boy.”

Nico grabbed the supplies, setting the half finished clementine beside him.

“Hey! Finish your breakfast!” Will scolded.

“You’re extra bossy today,” Nico mumbled.

“Oh darling, you haven’t seen bossy,” Will smiled widely and winked at him, “Plus, I don’t think you mind it all that much.”

Nico’s heart stuttered and he looked down, grumbling as he started to unroll the bandages and cut strips. Will just laughed at him and turned back to his own work.

——

Nico was in his cabin before dinner, reading on his bed but barely comprehending a word. His mind was racing with thoughts of Will, Will, Will. The way that he never flinched at Nico’s presence or sharp words, or the way he smiled like a kid on Christmas when Nico laughed. He wanted to believe that maybe he wasn’t reading into things, that maybe Nico wasn’t the only one who felt the way he did about the other. But then, a voice in the back of his head reminded him of all the things wrong with him and all the things so right about Will and ‘Nobody like Will would ever love you.’

He was pulled from his thoughts by a knock on his door. “Come in,” he called out.

Jason pushed the door open and walked in and Nico ignored the spike of disappointment he felt because it wasn’t Will. The son of Jupiter was standing stiffly in front of him and Nico looked up at him, raising an eyebrow as he put his book down and stood up. “Hey, Nico,” Jason said awkwardly.

“What do you want, Jason?” Nico asked.

“I wanted to talk about breakfast today,” Jason told him, shifting on his feet.

Nico’s blood ran cold and he straightened up. “There’s nothing to talk about,” he said coldly.

Jason scratched the back of his neck. “Percy shouldn’t have said that. It wasn’t cool. I know that you aren’t totally comfortable with,” he paused, “With being who you are. And Percy shouldn’t tease you about it.”

“It’s Percy,” he sighed.

“Yeah,” Jason conceded, “But it still wasn’t okay. And it won’t be until you say it is.”

Nico scoffed, “Yeah, right.”

“I’m serious, Nico. Being gay,” Nico bit back a wince a Jason’s words, “And coming out and everything in between belongs to you. You get to decide what you want and what you’re okay with. I know that Eros took that away from you, but it doesn’t have to happen again. You get to choose who to tell, what is okay for people to say and joke about, how to live. I’m sorry that you’ve had to deal with such bullshit but you don’t have to anymore.”

Nico almost laughed at the end, feeling bitter and spiteful. It wasn’t like Jason knew what was happening but it still made his hands shake. He looked down, blinking back tears of frustration. He sucked in a breath and looked back up at Jason, nodding once. “Thank you,” he said quietly.

Jason smiled hesitantly at him, “Of course.”

Nico cleared his throat and put his hands in his pockets, “Do you want to go to dinner?”

“Gods, yes,” Jason groaned, “I’m starving.”

Nico chuckled and followed the taller boy as they left his cabin, walking quickly to the dining pavilion. As they made it there and grabbed their food, Nico couldn’t bring himself to pray to his father (or any god) about the fucking petals he was coughing up. He sat down at the Hades table across from Jason. When Percy joined them later, he smiled apologetically and then launched into a story about a young son of Hermes nearly decapitating himself with a sword earlier that day. Nico was grateful for the ramblings, it meant he didn’t have to say much.

Still, occasionally, as he looked past Jason and Percy, he met Will’s eyes and the blonde would smile and Nico would melt. He found it hard to focus on whatever was being said when he could feel the weight of Will’s gaze but gods, he didn’t really care at all.

That night, as Nico thought about Will’s smile and the timbre of his voice and the way he looked at Nico, he coughed up another petal.

——

After two or three weeks, Nico’s coughing and subsequent petal expulsion fits happened two or three times a day. The trash can in his room was filled with bloody petals and he was afraid to take it out in case someone saw it. They hit him often in the middle of the night, jerking him from dreams of his worst memories. Nights spent desperately trying to clear his airway or even just take a single breath. The fits were harder to hide when they happened during the day. He would basically sprint from the infirmary or the dining pavilion and hide behind the nearest building while he nearly coughed his lungs out, but it was always just petals.

And then one day it wasn’t.

Nico was trying to cough quietly as Will talked to him. He knew that this wouldn’t pass until the petals came out but he didn’t want to draw attention to his issue or do anything that would encourage Will to ask questions or examine him. But still, the blonde was shooting him questioning looks and Nico knew that he had to get out of there.

“Are you okay?” Will asked.

“Yup,” Nico coughed, “I just need to get some, uh, water.”

Nico rushed from the examination room and out of the infirmary, praying that Will wouldn’t follow him. He looked over his shoulder and didn’t see anyone, so he ran as fast as he could to the nearest building and ducked behind it.

He tried to suck in a breath, soothe the ache in his lungs, but he was choking instantly. Nico placed a hand at the base of his throat, his fingers digging into his skin as he leaned against the wall. He was coughing and hacking, blood splattering out of his mouth. He could taste it on his tongue and on his lips but he was getting light headed from lack of air. Nico fell forward on his knees, one hand braced on the ground in front of him as he leaned over. His lungs were burning and tightening unbearably so and this was so much worse than it has ever been.

‘Maybe I am dying,’ he thought, ‘Maybe this is it. I’m going to die alone and hiding, coughing up petals.’

He managed to take a gasping breath, it was shallow and weak and only fueled the next bout of heaves. Nico was gagging, bloody saliva dripping from his mouth to the grass in front of him, and his arms were shaking with effort to keep himself up. He retched, expecting a handful of petals to hit the ground in front of him, but it was an entire flower this time. He coughed up an entire flower, mostly intact if he ignored some crumpled petals and a lot of blood. Nico stared at it as he gulped in air, entirely shocked.

He sat back on his knees, his hands trembling as he shuddered. Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to think of what to do but as he looked back down of the flower that had come out of him, the only thing he could think was, ‘At least it isn’t actually a sunflower.’

He heard voices approaching and panic raced up his spine. He couldn’t be seen, he couldn’t bear the thought of anyone knowing what was happening to him. He grabbed the flower carefully and stood up, walking around the corner, away from the approaching people. Nico tucked the flower gently into the pocket of his jacket and hurried back to the infirmary. He knew he was gone too long for just a water break and was desperately trying to think of a cover story as he was stepping back into the room. A second before Will looked up, Nico remembered the blood that was on his mouth and he brought the edge of his sleeve up, wiping at away just as Will met his eyes and smiled at him. “Get lost on your way to the water fountain?” Will teased.

Nico cleared his throat, the action painful, but smiled slightly anyway, “Jason saw me and decided he needed to talk for the longest time ever.”

“Ah, of course,” Will nodded, “Jason is always stealing you away from me.”

Nico’s heart fluttered and lungs hitched as Will spoke but he couldn’t help the smile that broke out across his face.

—-

Later that day, Nico brought the flower that he had carefully and diligently rinsed off to Katie Gardener. He knocked on the Demeter cabin door and it opened quickly. She blinked at him curiously and smiled kindly, if not slightly hesitant. “Hey Nico, what’s up?” she asked.

“Uh,” he mumbled, pulling the flower carefully from his pocket and presenting it to her in the palm of his hand, “Do you know what kind of flower this is?’

She cocked her head and leaned against the door frame. “It looks like a yellow chrysanthemum,” she told him, “We don’t grow those here. Where did you get it?”

Nico’s blood ran cold and he shifted on his feet. “Uh,” he tried to think of a convincing lie, “Persephone grows them in her garden, you know, at my dad’s place. She gave me a bunch of them last time I was running errands down there.”

Katie didn’t seem to really believe him but she nodded slowly anyway, “Oh, well it’s pretty. Persephone really does know her flowers.”

“Yup,” Nico’s hand with the flower was shaking so he pulled it back, crushing it in his fist, “Um, thanks.”

She looked down at the hand closed around the flower and then looked back up at him with concern, “Is everything alright, Nico?”

He took a step back. “Yes,” he said quickly, “I have to go, but thank you, really.”

She smiled at him hesitantly and he turned on his heel, walking briskly back to his cabin, letting the crushed flower fall from his hand and the grass.

——

A week later and it was whole flowers every time an attack happened. Nico coughed up entire chrysanthemums multiple times a day, his throat was raw and he could barely ever catch his breath. His lungs felt like they were running out of room for air, like they were going to burst from his chest. His mouth constantly tasted of blood and honey and it made him nauseous. He started buying gum from the Stolls to try and cover the flavor but nothing was ever quite enough. Nico didn’t know what was happening and he was scared. Terrified of dying, of dying alone, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell anyone. So he just continued on, pretending that he could breathe and that he wasn’t afraid he was going to die.

He met Jason at the arena to spar like they did every week. Lately, it had felt infinitely harder when he couldn’t catch his breath but he didn’t dare try to skip out on it. Jason would chase him down, demanding answers that Nico didn’t want to give.

He stood in front of Jason, leaning against his sword, as the taller boy strapped on his armor.

“Are you ready yet?” Nico asked impatiently.

“Yes,” Jason mocked, “Chill out.”

“Then let’s get on with it,” Nico said, grabbing his sword and raising it in front of him.

“Excited to lose?” Jason teased.

“Please,” Nico scoffed, twirling his sword once for good measure, “I don’t lose.”

Jason didn’t say anything back, instead raising his gladius and charging. Nico met his blow easily, forcing it down and then swinging his sword upward. They met each other in a clash of metal again and again, easily parrying and pushing each other forward and backward. But still, their fighting styles were distinctly different and it was evident in Jason’s measured jabs and Nico’s elegant slashes. The raven was whirling around Jason, graceful and poised as he aimed to cut the taller boy down. But his chest was tightening painfully and he was trying to hide his gasping breaths. Jason caught on still and between blows, he panted out “You okay, dude?”

Nico grunted and bit back a cough, pushing forward still. He swung down harder and knocked Jason back, taking advantage of his stumble to thrust his sword forward. He nearly disarmed him, seconds away from winning, when he couldn’t hold back his fit anymore. He coughed harshly, his hands shaking, and Jason pushed him away, knocking him to his back. The son of Jupiter held his gladius victoriously over Nico’s throat but the smaller boy barely registered it. He was lurching and hacking as he turned his head to the side and rolled onto his stomach, pushing up onto his knees and bracing himself with his hands. Blood splattered onto the ground in front of him and he still couldn’t breathe.

“Holy shit, Nico. Are you okay?” Jason asked, dropping beside him.

Nico nodded and tried to wave Jason away but he didn’t move. ‘Of course,’ Nico thought, ‘This had to happen in front of him.’ Jason placed a hand on his back hesitantly and Nico jerked away from the touch but couldn’t escape it between coughs. He gagged and felt his chest squeeze painfully.

“Nico seriously, what’s going on? Should I get Will?”

Nico shook his head, panic racing up his spine at the thought of Will ever seeing him like this. His arms were shaking and he nearly fell forward on his face but then he gagged again and threw up, a flower hitting the ground in front of him. Jason jumped back beside him. Nico sat back on his knees, wiping the blood from his mouth as he inhaled deeply. His throat was burning and felt like it was being shredded every time he breathed but he couldn’t help but be grateful for the air.

“I’m going to get Will,” Jason said, standing up.

“No,” Nico croaked, “No, please don’t.”

“Nico, you need medical attention,” Jason exclaimed.

“I’m fine,” Nico looked up at him, “Seriously. It’s not a big deal.”

“It seems like a big fucking deal!” Jason’s voice was nearly a screech, “You just coughed up a ton of blood and a weird ball! What the hell just happened?”

Nico pushed himself up to his feet. “It was a flower,” Nico told him, “I coughed up a flower.”

“A flower?” Jason questioned, his eyes wide in a panic.

“A chrysanthemum to be specific,” Nico picked up his sword.

“And you’re cool with that?” Jason asked.

“It happens sometimes,” Nico said calmly, avoiding meeting Jason’s eyes.

“Sometimes? How often is ‘sometimes’?” Jason questioned.

“A few times a day, I guess.”

“A few times a day? For how long?”

“The whole flowers started sometime last week. It was just petals for a few weeks before that.”

“You’ve been coughing up petals and flowers for weeks and didn’t tell anybody?”

“Yes,” Nico stated.

Jason was looking at him incredulously. “You need help! This is dangerous! We have to tell someone!” he shouted.

“No,” Nico said curtly, glaring at Jason coldly, “You can’t tell anybody. You have to swear that you won’t.”

“No! I’m not doing that!” Jason insisted.

“Yes, you are,” Nico raised his sword and pointed it at Jason’s chest, “You have to swear.”

“No! Threaten me all you’d like,” Jason pushed the blade away from himself, “You aren’t going to do anything. Nico, you cough so violently that blood and flowers come out. That isn’t normal or safe, you need help!” he pleaded.

“I know that, Jason!” Nico raised his voice, “I just don’t care. I don’t know what’s happening to me, but it’s mine to figure out and deal with alone.”

“You can’t do this alone, Nico!” Jason shouted, “You need help. Let me help you! Let someone help you!”

“No, Jason, No! I don’t want your help!” Nico yelled, “I don’t know why this is happening. All I know is that I cough up chrysanthemums a few times a day and that it feels like I can’t breathe. I don’t know if this is Demeter getting back at Hades or Eros fucking with me again but I don’t care. It will either go away or it won’t, but it hasn’t killed me yet. Jason, you’re the one that told me that only I get to decide who to tell about me being-” his voice cracked, “And I’m done letting anybody get to try and force me into anything. So if I choke on flowers then so be it, but I get to choose!” Nico was nearly hysterical, “I just want to make one fucking choice about my own life!”

Jason stared at him with an unreadable expression. “You’re choosing to die, Nico,” his voice had lost all it’s fire, “Do you get that? Asking me to not tell anyone is asking me to let you die.”

Nico blinked at him and then let his face drop but his eyes were pleading. “Let me die,” he said.

“What?” Jason asked.

“I get what I’m asking. Let me die. Please,” his voice cracked, “Let me choose to die.”

Jason recoiled like he had been burned by Nico’s words. “No! Absolutely not!”

“Then at least give me some time to think it over,” Nico pleaded.

“I’m not stupid. I’m not going to just back off!” Jason yelled.

“Please, Jason!” Nico stepped forward, “Three days! Give me three days! And after that, you can tell whoever you want.”

“For what? So you can figure out how to run away from help?” Jason sneered.

“So I can try and figure out what's happening to me,” Nico said.

Jason paused and took a deep breath, “You have to let me help you.”

“After three days,” Nico promised.

“No,” Jason sighed, “You have to let me help you figure out what’s happening. If you want me to keep this a secret for three days, you at least have to let me keep an eye on you.”

Nico stilled, his mind racing. He didn’t want Jason’s help, he didn’t want anyone’s help. But he knew that this wasn’t going to be a secret anymore but he could at least buy himself a few more days to figure something out, even if it meant dealing with Jason. He nodded slowly, “Yeah, okay.”

“And you have to tell me when you have those fits,” Jason added.

“Fine,” Nico shoved his hands in his pockets.

“I’ll meet you in your cabin tomorrow morning and we can start,” the blonde told him.

“Start what?” Nico asked.

“Research,” Jason said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “To figure out why you’re coughing up flowers.”

“And you won’t tell anyone?” Nico insisted.

Jason made a pained face but nodded. Nico rolled his eyes and turned on his heel, stalking away and out of the arena. His lungs were still burning and he was desperately trying to push down the panic threatening to bubble over. ‘He knows,’ his mind screamed, ‘Jason knows and soon everyone will know. They’ll know you can’t keep it together and that you’re just as weak and broken as they thought.’ He was breathing rapidly, sharp and shallow pants that did nothing to soothe the ache for air. He was rushing away, trying to make it to his cabin as fast as possible. He ignored all the people he was running past, focusing only on staying calm until he could hide away. Nico stumbled as someone grabbed his arm, slowing him down. The warmth of Will’s touch was familiar and it made his heart clench painfully.

“Hey, Nico, what’s wrong?” he asked, his voice filled with concern.

Nico didn’t look at Will, refusing to meet his eyes because he knew he would crumble instantly. He wanted to scold himself for becoming so soft for a stupid son of Apollo but he couldn’t quite bring himself to regret anything as he remembered the way that Will tossed his head back when he laughed or the way his eyes crinkled around the edges and shined when he smiled. The raven said nothing as he ripped his arm from Will’s grip and broke out into a sprint. He could barely hear Will calling out for him and running after him over his own heartbeat pounding in his ears. He slammed his cabin door as soon as he made it inside, leaning against it as he tried to catch his breath. After just a few seconds, Will was knocking on the other side and pleading for Nico to let him in. Nico squeezed his eyes shut and tipped his head back. “Go away, Will,” he called.

“Nico, what happened?” Will asked.

Nico clenched his hands into fists, his fingernails digging into his palms painfully. Every fiber of his being was screaming to let Will in, to let him help him and comfort him and to tell him everything. He took a deep, rasping breath that hurt. “Nothing,” he said, “Just leave me alone.”

“I don’t believe you. Let me in so I can help, please,” Will insisted.

“I don’t want your help, Will!” Nico lied through his teeth, “Go away!”

“Nico, please,” Will’s voice was desperate and it made Nico want to cry, “I don’t want to leave you alone. Let me in, please.”

Nico slid down against the door, his stomach turning. He sucked in a breath and steeled his nerves. ‘He’s going to hate me,’ Nico thought, ‘He has to hate me.’

“I don’t care what you want,” Nico worked to keep his voice cold and unfeeling, “I don’t care about you. Just walk away.”

It was silent for a moment. “What?” Will asked, so quiet that it was barely audible.

Nico gasped, his heart falling apart with every passing second. “You heard me,” his voice cracked, “Go away.”

There was a thud against the door, like Will had dropped his forehead against it. Then, Nico heard the porch creak as Will stepped back. Part of him, a large part of him, wanted Will to keep knocking, to keep trying, to please don’t leave him alone. But he heard him walk down the steps, retreating because that’s what Nico told him to do and gods, what he felt in that moment was worse than any time he had heaved and choked on petals.

——

Nico woke up the next morning to Jason banging on his door and letting himself in. Normally that would warrant a cold glare at least, but he just raised his head and looked at him with no expression. Jason was holding a stack of books and he kicked the door shut. Nico sat up and kicked his legs over the side of the bed, standing on shaky legs and walking over to stand next to Jason. He rubbed a hand over his face, trying to wake himself up, “Where’d you get those?” he croaked.

“Some are from the Big House, a few from the Athena cabin, and just a couple of the medical ones from the Apollo cabin,” Jason told him.

Nico nearly flinched as Jason mentioned the Apollo cabin but he bit his tongue and reached out for a book. “Let’s get started, I guess,” he said.

Jason picked one up as well, “You should go to breakfast, I can get started.”

Nico thought about trying to swallow down any food when his throat felt like it was coated in acid. “I’m not hungry,” he mumbled.

“If you skip, Will is gonna track you down,” Jason insisted.

Nico’s heart clenched and he looked down. “No, he won’t,” Nico said.

When he looked back up, Jason was watching him with concern and he looked like he wanted to say something. Instead, he just muttered out a hesitant, “Alright.”

Nico was grateful for Jason not pushing him as he sat down on the floor, back against the frame of his bed. Jason sat beside him and huffed. “What kind of flowers are they again?” he asked.

Nico opened the book on his lap, flipping to a table of contents. “Yellow chrysanthemums,” he said.

Jason flipped through his own book and from the corner of his eye, Nico saw him stop abruptly and scan the page he landed on. “Oh,” Jason said after a moment.

Nico looked over at him, anxiety racing down his spine, “What?”

“Different flowers symbolize different things. I thought that if we knew what your flower meant then it might help us figure out what’s happening,” Jason explained.

“And?” Nico pressed.

“Yellow chrysanthemums mean love,” Nico felt nauseous as Jason spoke, “But a sorrowful love. Or, um, unrequited love.”

Nico thought he was going to pass out. He looked at the book on his lap, blinking dumbly as his ears rang, barely processing the world around him.

Jason spoke carefully beside him, “Nico, I’m going to ask you a question and I need you to not send me to the Underworld.”

Nico grunted in agreement and kept his eyes down.

“Do you still love Percy?” Jason asked.

His reaction was instantaneous. Nico recoiled violently, the book flipping off of his lap as he glared at Jason, his fury visible in every way he held himself. “No!” he sneered, “Why would you ask me that?”

Jason raised his hands in defense, “I’m sorry! But you can’t really blame me for it! The only chance we have at figuring this out is if we are on the same page. Clearly what’s happening to you isn’t natural and it has to be for a reason. The flowers are chrysanthemums for a reason.”

“I’m not in love with Percy!” Nico shouted.

“Then I don’t know what else it could be,” Jason, “But it has to be something!”

Nico coughed, once, twice, “It doesn’t matter! We know what they mean, so drop it!”

Jason stared at him, his mouth in a tight line and then he looked back down harshly. He closed his book roughly. “You don’t have to do everything alone, Nico,” he whispered after a moment, “I know that you think that you deserve to be alone, but you don’t.”

Nico couldn’t respond, he was biting his lip to try and ignore the itch in his lungs. He was jerking forward as he spasmed with suppressed coughs but he couldn’t hold them back any longer as blood filled his mouth. He leaned forward and gagged, blood spilling down his chin and onto the floor as he heaved. Jason placed a hand on his back reassuringly but Nico barely felt it as he started to cough, every inhale and hack felt like his throat was being shredded. It was raw like an open wound and it just kept getting worse with every fit.

He was retching, petals hitting the ground in clots. He felt dizzy and braced a hand on the ground, trying to keep himself from falling over but it was in vain. Nico rolled out from Jason’s touch, his back hitting the ground as he stared up at the ceiling in a daze. He was really, truly choking then, unable to breathe for even a moment. His eyes widened in a panic as Jason leaned over him, his face in a panic and mouth moving but the raven couldn’t make out his words. He reached a hand up, grabbing Jason’s arm tightly. He could feel tears streaming down his cheeks and distantly he realized that he was going to die. Nico was going to die and he was terrified. His coughing became interspersed with sobs and he was blacking out from lack of air. He was sure Jason was screaming now but all he could hear was his own heaving and spluttering and the blood rushing in his ears. His fingers tightened around Jason’s arm again and then loosened, his vision going black.

——

Nico woke up in the infirmary and his heart dropped. Jason was sitting in a chair next to his bed, asleep. Will was on his other side, his head laid down on the edge of the mattress. He blinked blearily and as he shifted, Will shot up and whipped his head to look at him. In an instant, he placed a hand on the side of Nico’s face and the other on his shoulder. “Oh gods, Nico, you’re awake,” Will exclaimed, scanning over his face for any sign of distress.

The commotion woke Jason, who was already up and standing beside him, a hand placed on his other shoulder. Nico was overwhelmed and the panic he felt must have been visible on his face because Will and Jason both pulled away quickly, watching him with such worry that Nico felt like he was drowning in guilt. “What happened?” he croaked, his voice was like gravel and it felt like he was swallowing razor blades.

“You almost died, Nico,” Will told him, his face suddenly set, “And you weren’t going to tell anyone.”

Nico looked down, blinking slowly. “How did I get here?” he mumbled.

“I carried you after you went unconscious in your cabin,” Jason said.

“You scared the shit out of us, Nico,” Will’s voice cracked.

“I’m sorry,” Nico whispered.

“Jason said this has been happening for weeks. If you had said something, we could have helped you sooner.”

“How?” Nico scoffed, “We don’t even know what this is.”

Jason and Will shared a look and Jason sighed. “Yes, we do,” Jason told him, “We figured it out while you were asleep.”

Nico looked up but neither Jason or Will would meet his eyes. “What?” Nico asked, “What is it?”

“Um, it’s called Hanahaki disease,” Will explained, “It’s almost like a curse. We aren’t sure you catch it, but it happens when the victim feels profound unrequited love.”

Nico was certain he was going to throw up and he flinched as Will continued, “Flowers grow in their lungs and will continue to until the patient confesses to the object of their affections and the love is returned, or, um, until they die.”

Nico felt his face burn and his throat was itching again. “Oh,” he muttered.

“There’s a procedure, though,” Will added, “To remove the flowers and stop you from dying. But when the flowers are removed, so are the feelings. And not just the feelings for that one person, all feelings of love for anyone.”

Nico froze. He glanced at Will and thought of confessing. He could imagine the way that Will would recoil in disgust but still try so hard to be nice because that’s who Will was. And it wouldn’t matter, he would die anyways. He thought of choking on flowers and his own blood, how it felt to not be able to breathe and his lungs tightening and flowers coming up his throat and tearing it to pieces. He thought of never loving Will again. Never truly appreciating how the sun caught his hair and how warm he was all the time and the way his nose scrunched when he grinned. And that was so much worse than dying painfully. He nodded and sat straighter in the bed. “Okay,” he stated.

Will looked at him with such pain in his eyes that for a moment Nico wanted to risk a confession. “You’re going to get the procedure?” Will questioned.

Nico frowned, “No, of course not.”

Will seemed to relax slightly but Jason stood just as tense beside him. “So who are we going to find?” Jason asked.

“Why do you need to find anybody?” Nico asked him back.

“So you can tell them that you love them,” Jason clarified.

Nico visibly lurched back, “Nobody. I’m not confessing anything.”

Jason and Will looked at him desperately and both launched forward at him. “That’s not an option,” Jason said, his voice stern.

“Yes it is, you just told me. I’m not getting the flowers removed and I’m not going to confess. I’m going to die and that’s okay,” Nico was trying his best to stay calm.

He didn’t want to die, he really, really didn’t and he was so afraid. But that felt like his only option so he was going to ignore the terror coursing through him and be whatever fucked up kind of brave this was. Will grabbed his hand and pulled his attention to him. “No,” he begged, “Nico, no. Please don’t do this. We can help you, please let us help you.”

Will’s eyes were shining and so blue and gods, maybe if Nico died right now, with Will looking at him like that and holding his hand, he would be okay. He placed a hand on Will’s cheek gently, and looked at him softly. “It’s okay,” he whispered, “Really, I’m okay with this.”

“I’m not,” Will was hysterical, “I’m not okay with you dying, Nico.”

Nico shook his head, “Will, it isn’t your choice. I’m not going to choose to stop loving y-,” he sucked in a breath, “To stop loving them forever. And they don’t love me back. So I’m going to die and that’s okay.”

Jason stepped forward as Will blinked back tears. “Nico, just let me go get them. Maybe Percy-” he started.

Nico cut him off harshly as he dropped his hand from Will’s face, “It’s not Percy, Jason. I don’t love him and I don’t think I ever did, not really and not like this.”

Will was crying and it broke Nico’s heart. He coughed, feeling another fit start. He wondered for a moment why another one was starting so quickly after the first but quickly realized that this was the end. Of his life, but of the pain too. It probably didn’t help that Will was there too and Nico felt like he was bursting with affection for him, with love. He inhaled raspily and coughed again. Will and Jason both flinched but Nico couldn’t tear his eyes away from the son of Apollo. He loved Will, so much and so completely that his heart felt like it was failing faster than his lungs.

“Nico, please,” Will cried, “You can’t die.”

He dropped his head beside onto the mattress again and Nico placed a hand in his hair, dragging his fingers through the curls. The raven looked at Jason, smiling painfully. The son of Jupiter was watching him with a guarded look. He glanced down at where Nico was running his fingers through Will’s hair and then back up at Nico. A look of understanding crossed his face and he blinked, lips parting. “Oh,” he whispered.

Nico felt panicked again and he shook his head. “Jason, please,” he said.

Jason met his eyes and smiled wryly, “You’re a fucking idiot, Nico.”

Nico winced but didn’t drop his eyes, “Let me do this, Jason. Please.”

“No,” Jason told him, “I won’t let you choose to kill yourself because you’re stupid and oblivious.”

Will raised his head, tear tracks down his cheeks, and looked between the two. “What do you mean, Jason?”

Jason didn’t break away from Nico’s gaze but spoke carefully anyways. “Will, Nico isn’t going to say anything so you have to.”

“What else can I say that will change his mind?” Will asked.

“You know,” Jason told him, “You have to tell him.”

Nico could hear Will’s breath hitch but he didn’t dare look away from Jason, afraid that if he did for even a second that Jason would say the one thing he couldn’t bear to say himself. It didn’t matter though, because Will grabbed his face and forced Nico to look at him instead. His eyes were red and watery and pleading and still he was beautiful. They stared at each other, neither saying anything and he heard Jason clear his throat. “I’m going to Iris message Hazel and Reyna, let them know what’s happening, just in case. I’ll give you two a second,” Jason started to walk out of the room but he stopped in the doorway and glanced back at Nico, “When I come back, if you’re still…” he trailed off, “I’m not gonna let you die.”

Nico flickered his gaze between Will and Jason as he left, his stomach churning and heart racing while he tried his best to keep himself calm and to stop himself from gagging on blood. Nico jerked, trying to contain another cough. Will let out a sob as he watched Nico and then they were both crying.

“It’s going to be okay, Will,” Nico whispered.

“No it won’t,” Will cried, “Because you’re going to die. You aren’t going to be here anymore and that isn’t okay. It will never be okay.”

“You’ll move on, I’m sure you can find someone else to cut bandages for you,” Nico tried to joke, “And this is what I want to do. I-I can’t not love them. I haven’t loved anybody like this in so long and even though it’s killing me, I will choose it every time.”

“You don’t get it, Nico! You don’t just cut bandages! You’re my best friend and I can’t watch you die. I can’t,” Will was nearly shouting but Nico didn’t flinch.

Nico’s heart was crumbling to pieces at Will’s tears and words. “Sunshine,” he mumbled, “I promise that it will be alright. That you will be alright.”

“Stop saying that! It’s not true! I’m not going to be alright because I-” Will wiped Nico’s tears away with his thumb and took a breath, “Nico, I love you.”

Nico’s heart stopped, his mind froze, everything was still for a moment. And then everything was rushing at him all at once. Blood was pounding in his ears and every nerve felt like it was on fire, he felt like he was burning up under the weight of Will’s gaze and his touch. He couldn’t process what he said. “What?” he whispered brokenly.

“I love you,” Will repeated, “I love you and I don’t want you to die, so please don’t die.”

“Really?” Nico asked softly.

“Yes, really,” Will’s voice was a strange mix of annoyed and desperate and broken.

Nico blinked and he registered that for the first time in a while he didn’t have to cough. He gasped and then he couldn’t help but laugh. He laughed like a child, wet and broken up by sobs but it was laughter all the same. Will recoiled like he was hurt but Nico followed his retreating hands, never wanting to pull away from him again. “Really,” Nico repeated again, his voice breathy like he was speaking of a dream.

Will didn’t pull away again but he was looking at Nico with apprehension. Nico didn’t know what to say to explain and he just gaped. “I can breathe,” he said after a moment.

“What?” Will asked.

“I can breathe and I love you. Will Solace, I love you,” Nico whispered.

Will smiled widely and Nico was gone. Totally and completely in love with Will and he was euphoric. The blonde dropped his head forward and pressed their foreheads together, his breath fluttering across Nico’s cheeks wonderfully. “Good,” Will chuckled, “Or this would be really awkward.”

“Please,” Nico teased, “You weren’t the one who was going to die.”

Will blinked and then pulled back, shoving Nico’s shoulder harshly. “You were going to die!” he shouted, “You are such an idiot!”

Nico’s face slacked in surprise but he recovered quickly. “I’m not anymore,” he reached a hand out for Will.

The son of Apollo grabbed it but still looked angry, “But you were going to. You were going to choose to die and that isn’t okay. And you are so dumb for thinking that I didn’t love you just as much!”

“I’m sorry. I-” Nico stuttered, “I really didn’t think that you loved me, would ever love me.”

Will deflated and squeezed his fingers. “Why?” he asked, voice cracking.

Nico lowered his eyes, “You’re so good. And kind and smart and wonderful and just, you. And I’m just me.”

“Yeah, you,” Will scoffed, “Son of Hades, hero, deliverer of the Athena Parthenos, the Ghost King. You’re brave and passionate and intelligent and gods, I love you. There’s nothing about you that makes you unlovable. There’s nothing that scares me,” he shoved Nico’s shoulder again, “Except for your ridiculous lack of self preservation. That scares me to death.”

Nico chuckled and looked at Will’s face, his breath catching. “Do you believe me?” Will asked insistently.

Nico paused, focusing for a moment and how clear his chest felt. He nodded slowly, “I think so. Mostly at least. I don’t think there are chrysanthemums choking me anymore.”

“You’ll probably cough up a few more petals. I’m not sure how this works, really,” Will said softly.

“I can deal with that,” Nico mumbled.

“I should probably keep you for observation,” Will whispered as he leaned down.

“Yeah probably,” Nico tipped his chin up, “Just to make sure.”

“Mmhmm,” Will agreed, “We don’t want you to relapse.”

“Maybe you should tell me you love me again, you know, just in case,” Nico’s breath hitched.

Will’s nose brushed against his. “I love you,” he sighed.

“And maybe,” Nico muttered, their lips centimeters apart, “Maybe you should kiss me.”

Nico was shocked by his own words but he told himself the adrenaline of almost dying was giving him the confidence. And he really did want Will to kiss him. Will’s mouth was so close to his, their lips barely brushing.

“Oh?” Will breathed.

Nico hummed and then Will kissed him. It was so soft it made him shiver, pleasure shocking him. Will’s lips were warm and insistent against his own as he gently cupped the blonde’s jaw. Will pulled away and Nico couldn't help but pout. “You taste like blood,” Will told him.

Nico grimaced, “Sorry.”

Will didn’t seem to mind as he kissed Nico again and again and again, peppering kisses across his lips and cheeks and nose and forehead. It made Nico laugh warmly. He felt better than he had in weeks, in years, really. Will wasn’t a fix-all but not to hide or lie or fake it was invigorating. The weight on his shoulders wasn’t gone but it felt like maybe he could share it now, maybe someone was willing to listen and care for him. He closed his eyes, felt Will’s lips flutter across his cheeks. He smiled, exhaling a deep and flowerless breath.

#solangelo #Will solace #Nico di Angelo #jason grace #katie gardner #solangelo fanfiction #angst #solangelo angst #solangelo fluff #hanahaki #hanahaki disease #solangelo au #nico and jason #nico and jason friendship #pining #percy jackson #Percy Jackon and the Olympians #Heroes of Olympus

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