#circles we're just going in circles
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Take the fanon interpretation of Primo as a parentified but well-meaning older brother trying his best; and the canon of Primo being fucking off the rails and messing with dark magic for shits and giggles; and you'll have Primo putting an eight-year-old Terzo in the middle of a pentagram while insisting this is exactly how you cure someone of their chronic hayfever. Now stop moving, if that blood smears then year-round allergies will be the least of our problems --
#don't worry one of the older Siblings interfered#Terzo grew out of the allergy after a few years#the band ghost#ghost bc#papa emeritus i#papa emeritus iii#papa primo#papa terzo#terzo#primo#if Primo gets overwhelmed by something#his go-to fix-it is the pentagram/summoning circle#Secondo's adult tooth is growing in before the baby one is properly loose? hang tight we're gonna summon a ghoul who collects teeth#Terzo has a tummyache? Hold still and don't breathe for about three minutes this passage from the grimoire takes a while#Secondo broke his arm falling out of a tree? I got just the ghoul who can reset the bones#eventually Mr. Psaltarian steps in and has to take the book away#there is only so much this one man can witness from one family at a time
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decimus wanted to wind cassius up a bit just to see how he would snap
uhhh. what else. you know!! caesar was collecting (and discarding) a new generation of romans, operating a new kind of roman imperium. political manipulation. "good" governance. conspiracies are forming in reply.
the collage art is all public domain/open access stuff from the met collections!
#okay now that we're in the tags. kabayan: this comic is actually about how fucking pissed i am over the bahay#pangulo renovations lmao like not only are you robbing the people blind but you're also TAKING AMORSOLO PAINTINGS#heugh. summoning circle to set cassius' ghost loose in malacañang palace#ANYWAY i saw someone on twitter go 'haven't they earned a little luxury?' and i saw someone snap back with the 'i didnt know na monarchy#na pala ang pilipinas' reply i borrowed for a closing wham line#but MY GOD. 'earn a little luxury' flames. on the side of my face. again! SUMMONING CIRCLE FOR CASSIUS' GHOST#just set him loose! they havent earned ANYTHING. awful bastard family from hell. rot all the way down. BGLGHGHGH#roman republic tag#komiks tag#oh what else. uh. OH! i went to an art museum over on (redacted) and saw some incredible paintings from a local artist#and that's what got me doing the collage stuff. in the top half specifically. it's not quite what i wanted it to be but im learning#connecting the visual dots
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people bitching and moaning about fob "turning mainstream" as if that was never the entire point of fall out boy. that's In the goddamn dna of the band, it's baked into the ethos of why the band started in the first damn place. to be accessible to kids and especially to girls, who were often ridiculed and shunted out of the hardcore community. to be a gateway to bands that aren't as mainstream. to comment on the society they live in, as they live in it. people act like fall out boy "turning mainstream" was some kind of "betrayal" when from the start they were seizing on the trends of the time, putting their unique, unhinged fall out boy spin on them, and shooting them back out as a funhouse mirror. take this to your grave capitalized on the pop-punk zeitgeist that was big in the late 90s and early aughts and put their own spin on it: enmeshed catchy choruses with high-dexterity lyrical & linguistic skewerwork. infinity on high was basically a massive critique of the scene they were in - this ain't a scene it's a goddamn arm's race is a fucking thesis statement on what it is to be catapulted into fame in an industry that wants nothing more than a thousand cookie-cutter copycat acts of a successful formula, and fall out boy WAS the formula everyone desperately wanted to emulate. american beauty / american psycho blended sampling and modern hip-hop stylings with polished pop-rock and pointed those songs back at the snapshot of the 2010s we all lived in: commenting on racial injustice and the freeze-frame nature of relevancy. but even then they weren't doing it quite right - because fall out boy never does things quite right, they're never quite conventional, whether it's wentz's darkly confessional lyrics double-bagged in metaphor or stump's distinctive clear tenor or trohman's inescapable rock 'n roll edge or hurley's thunderous hardcore-punk-rock soul.
this band has always been too clever for its own critics, is the thing. but then, they always knew that. they knew they had a thriving fanbase of largely female fans so they were going to be mocked and belittled and ridiculed. they weren't quite right. they weren't quite so easy to market. pete wentz had to have all his hard edges filed off and cut down to size, skin lightened, literally whitewashed ("i feel like a photo that's been overexposed") to hell and back, even as he was marketed as the pretty boy of the band. and the other three members never even bothered with the spotlight: the soft-spoken vegan straightedge anarchist drummer and the wry, wisecracking, whip-clever guitarist who was more concerned with being the connective tissue than anything and the reticent vocalist who sang the words and wrote an awful lot of music but wasn't really the guy fronting the band. wentz's charisma carried the band, because the rest of them were really just some guys and never aspired to be anything else.
fall out boy is too pop. fall out boy is too mainstream. fall out boy isn't the real poster child of the emo movement. other bands are better. even within fall out boy's own narrative, they are repeatedly ignored, sidelined, and belittled, as though they weren't one of the only acts from the big 00s emo-pop movement to successfully not just survive the transition from the aughts to the '10s, and then later from the '10s to the '20s, but to thrive in it without banking on nostalgia. this band was supposed to be a flash in the pan. they weren't supposed to last and they weren't supposed to get big. they started off in joe's parents' attic because joe and pete were sick of how exclusionary and homophobic the hardcore scene was.
i think it's high time that people acknowledge how fall out boy has repeatedly succeeded where most of their other peers failed. cunning, clever, capable, and hyper-aware of the space they occupy in the culture surrounding them. that they are just as powerful, important, and artistic as any of the other bands in the scene that others might deify at their expense. that they deserve a hell of a lot more respect than they get from critics or hardcore punks who think they sold out. i hope one day they get that recognition. because they've earned it, time and time again, and the more i see people pushing back against that, the more certain i become of its inevitability.
#fall out boy#fob#*making poasts#this was supposed to be a pithy 3 sentence post but i kept going#just another Day In The Life of someone who sees a lot of garbage takes and gets tired#mostly i just shrug em off cause you know. what else is new. this has been going on since day 1.#but it saddens me. it saddens me that these guys are ridiculed for this still.#it breaks my heart that patrick isnt taken seriously as a composer in some circles because hes the guy from fall out boy.#it breaks my heart that people won't acknowledge pete as one of the most distinctive lyricists of our generation.#it breaks my heart that andy and joe are discredited and shit on within metal circles specifically because they're in fall out boy.#i hope they know that we get it. we get it and we're proud of them. no matter what.
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Ben coming back to the cabin to see yet another cannibalistic ritual
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#🐇#yellowjackets#again with the cannibalistic blue balls I see how you guys are playing the game at least I know it's gonna happen#poor javi it should have been travis let's be real he provides nothing#loved the misty on mari violence also#and we were all right about jackie's necklace! our girl's keeping the group together even still#also I know I'm literally the only one on the jackie antler queen train and while I don't think it's true rather than just funsies#it's making me wonder if this is more of a fae situation going on? it's been a looooooong time since I read about all of this stuff but now#after jackie's death and the baby's death and what happened to Ben this week it's kinda making me suspicious#like is the antler queen supposed to represent the unseelie queen? is it the unseelie queen? idk I'll have to look into this to see if it#fits. I'm leaning more towards that now than wendigo psychosis#also hilarious because I did say that portals was insanely jackie coded so we're coming full circle#also I've said I'm suspicious of walter but how the fuck is that dude so rich?? I'm onto his ass he is not to be trusted
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Aw man, I've been diggin' around for this particular image of mine for some several months and it's been eatin' at me because I could not for the life of me find it.
Well I couldn't find the original, but I finally found the image and re-made the thing!
#{{outofbloodboon}}#theslowesthnery#Yeah you know exactly why you're tagged. Our brain waves!#This is exactly what's been going on! We're just sitting around in a circle and just channeling blorbo. 😋#I found that image over on the Dungeons and Dragons wiki and it just sort of tickled me!
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I love seeing Rory run in the field!! Bird dog doing bird dog things!! You said in the tags you had different training and priorities with her vs Mav re: offleash running like that. What kinds of things did you do differently with Rory to be comfortable having her offleash at a distance with reliable recall?
I was writing a whole novel but really it boils down to this chart. Under the cut because it's (vertically) long.
In short, it's just as much about what I didn't do with Maverick as what I did do with Aurora.
(Edited to add: I am extremely fortunate to live in the prairies where the kind of visibility I need is easy to find. Use my experience to inspire your own training if you like, but don't use it as a recipe. I have my own goals and my own priorities and those are likely different than yours.)
Maverick:
🔵 Supremely confident from day 1
🔵 Came home in August (extremely good and exciting time for outdoor adventures)
🔵 Prioritized specific sports behaviours over foundational building blocks like engagement and cooperation
🔵 Learned bad habits from my older dog at the time (prey drive > recall)
🔵 Was indiscriminately prey driven. If it moved, he wanted to kill it.
🔵 I phased out treats too fast and didn't want to use an ecollar or long line
🔵 I focused on "social media dog behaviours" (think like walking extremely close to me on trails) and got frustrated when we couldn't meet these rather than meeting my dog where he was at. This created a lot of frustration in our dog adventures.
🔵 I practiced recalls constantly when I didn't have to, making them a tedious behaviour for him. I would recall him 20-50 times a hike for everything from "you're too far away from me" to "I want to take a photo".
Aurora
🟣 Came to me a little insecure and looked to me for reassurance
🟣 Came home in December (a cold and relatively boring time for outdoor adventures)
🟣 I prioritized engagement, cooperation, and name recognition from day 1
🟣 Practiced good habits by walking offleash in the snow either alone or with Pike (amazing recall)
🟣 Is extremely birdy, but is very very focused. She easily calls off deer or people/dogs in the distance because she mostly cares about birds.
🟣 Literally always gets offered a high value snack for recalling or voluntary check ins (I will never phase this out, I will carry chunks of cheese on offleash walks for the rest of her life)
🟣 I never practice recalls if I don't need them. This one is hard to explain, but once Rory understood that long whistle = come back as fast as you can, I don't whistle unless I really need to. I recall her an average of 0-3 times per hike (*based on visibility or wildlife*) and trust her to make good decisions otherwise. I keep my eyeballs on her 100% of the time and choose areas with good visibility, but I don't recall her just for being far away.
🟣 I limit hikes where I have to nag her often (think, in the woods where I dont have a great line of sight and have to remind her to stay close to me) to a few times a month or less so she doesn't start getting frustrated about it.
🟣 I trust the training I put into her and choose to run her in areas with (relatively) reduced risk if she makes the "wrong" choice. I don't nitpick everything she does and I let her make her own choices, within reason.
🟣 I have an interrupter cue to ask her to stop doing something before I call her back (if she's digging a hole and I want her to move on, I use "Rory, enough! Here!") instead of whistling at her.
🟣 I don't force her attention on check ins. If she runs back to me and doesn't want a snack and wants to run straight back out, I let her run back out.
🟣 I have anticipatory cues for the end of a walk so I don't have to recall her when we get to the end of the field.
I want to say that it's nerve wracking to watch my dog sprint at full speed hundreds of yards away from me. I have to fight the impulse to recall her just because she's far away. It's an exercise in trust because I'm always worried about her going over the horizon, or running into a wildlife, or falling into a hole, but it's an important thing to work on if you have a dog that needs that trust to thrive.
Mav and I were a good team, but I never fully trusted him outdoors. I always had my finger on the ecollar buttons ready for him to do an evil and need to be vibrated. It was exhilarating to watch him in the field, but it wasn't really fun or relaxing.
Rory and I built a much stronger foundation of trust (I personally never would have been able to do this if I had more than one dog). She doesn't know any tricks yet, but I'm super confident in her recall and ability to take direction in the field, even when she's sprinting as fast as possible.
#dogblr#about mav#about aurora#hahahaha i still wrote a novel#i have a lot of thoughts about recall#i never want to see a four month old puppy with an ecollar and yet i see it all the time in the gundog circles#and i get it i just find it super distasteful#i was team 'never get a dog in winter' !#and i am now team '100% get a dog in winter'#it was sooooo much easier to build good habits when nothing was moving in the winter freeze#my biggest issue with rorys recall is that she struggles to recall off pike#but even that improves each time we go out and thats more an arousal issue than a recall issue#she's a really cool dog#i still choose my offleash locations and time super carefully#i would never go out at noon on a sunday and run her offleash#i go out to quiet areas at quiet times#and i just let her do her thing#trust is a two way street even with dogs#ask#anon#bird dog training#recall training#recall#<- tags so i can find this later#eta: i want to add that i do use her name to get her attention if i need something or want a photo#and i have a specific cue for 'look at me from a distance and decide if you want to come closer'#but im largely quiet in the field when shes running especially if were walking by ourselves#i just let her do her thing#thats why we're out there after all
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sophia seeing cailan's body hanging there when they go back to ostagar, and suddenly all she can see even through the rot and the ruin is just how much he looked like alistair...... :'(
a mental image that totally will not haunt her through alistair's many years on the throne as rebellions and assassination attemps come and go. doesn't send her unhinged and unwise even a little
#I've never played back to ostagar before actually! getting some more delicious trauma for everyone#and also zev was there (affectionate)#oc: sophia amell#warden x alistair#dragon age#dragon age origins#the vibes are slightly weird in the dialogue in this dlc -- this uh. did not seem to be the relationship alistair and cailan had#such as it even was. but hey I got this angst out of it what more can I ask#I had sophia and alistair smooch on the platform place thingy where you meet him for the first time. I am a sap but I am free#what's that post about the unconquerable human spirit that's like 'despite all the horrors I am still horny' again. basically they're that#alistair is honestly The most pocket healed warrior of all time he's got two spirit healers who love him laser focused on him#at all times#(sophia switches between unleashing horrifying amounts of raw magical power on the enemy and going 'oh nooo let me see I'll fix it')#that boy is Protected. wynne and sophia glaring at you past his shoulders like 'he said no FUCKING pickles ok. last warning'#(actually probably sophia would glare at you from like. the height of his armpit; she's Short lol)#also partially why I had to change my canon b/c if alistair was left in the fade sophia would. she would quite simply end the world#long before solas had the time to. she would tear the veil to shreds to get to him. mind and circle mage restraint irretrievably lost#her greatest fear is becoming unmoored (which in many ways also means losing alistair) and everyone else should be afraid of that too#I do like how this playthrough is shaking out tho it feels like a more grown-up version of the story I told with them originally#more complicated and acknowledging the other forces pulling on them (when I was younger I liked the freedom of them both staying wardens)#but it just makes the 'we're sticking together *no matter what*' all the more satisfying and triumphant for me.#we'll find a way and if there is no way we'll fucking make it together :') and they do
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Post-war mutual pining megop but it's the messiest fwb situation in the history of Cybertron.
#''I can't say I'm in love with him w/o making it weird + we WORK together to run the planet so if I mess this up we're going back to war--''#megop#just both of them lying awake in bed after The Deed woth dark circles under their optics#looking like ''oh primus what have i just done'' while simultaneously thinking ''fraggit... i can't wait to do that again...''
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instead of drawing an attack (which I couldn't do because I am in complete bodily agony), I decided to just recreate this with Wheatley because... pertal.
OG image and another dumb thing I made today vvv
yayyyyy
#had to use the dreaded ibispaint circle tool for this one#portal#portal 2#wheatley#space core#fnaf#shitpost#we dont question why he's floating#just pretend we're going by lego dimension logic i guess#I JUST REALIZED FOXY'S REFLECTION IN THE WINDOW BYE
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mizutaigen is literally like. the first "toxic" m/f ship i've ever cared for. cuz like usually my taste in m/f ships is basically "unhinged baddie" x "badass wifeguy" *
* (see:yen/geralt. trevor/sypha. adolin/shallan. kataang but katara is sane and they're literally so wholesome like theyre traumatised kids in love who are each other's emblem of hope in a war-torn world! so basically they don't count. anyway. i'm rambling.)
and to that end my friend called mizutaigen yaoi-adjacent and im like. yeah you're right actually cuz like hell yeah non-binary mizu and bisexual taigen rights and all the gender fuckery in the show in general
but also like.
theres just SOMETHING else about mizutaigen that just GETS me. like there's a special secret sauce like the pheromones in that one sephora lotion attracting spiders and i am the silly spider!!! there's just something about it!!! it's not even the enemies to lovers trope cuz i personally am not even usually into that (obv it's fine if you are. but yk.)
so as i keep rotating these thoughts around i thiiink it's the fact that, yknow, theyre so similar. like i honestly truly think they could be besties in another universe: a kinder universe where taigen was not taught to hate. a universe where mizu was not born a girl in a deeply misogynistic society or half-white in a xenophobic homogeneous society.
yeah now that i think about it that really just might be THE secret sauce!!! like the fact that they COULD be perfect and happy together, if only things were different, if only they werent themselves.
smth v bittersweet about that's just driving me insane and makes me want to root for them to overcome all those obstacles, to say "fuck all that" (re:the world and all its fucked up shit) and find each other in the end. to eventually become each other's fav person and confidant. who obv still bicker and tease and insult each other all the time but they dont really mean any of it and over time it just becomes a running gag between them and no one else has to get it because it's just between the two of them.
#mizu x taigen#taigen x mizu#taimizu#[clenches fist] it's about the POTENTIAL of it all!!!!!#like taigen's last words in s1 being 'we're not done yet' like ?!? has me WANTING to see more. wanting to see them grow with each other#like i want taigen by the end to be ridiculously head over heels WHIPPED and SMITTEN willing to die and kill and just be BETTER. for mizu.#mizu. the person who changed his entire life. his entire worldview. pulled the rug from under him and made him a man forever changed.#to overcome his selfishness so he can be mizu's HOME in a world that doesn't allow her one#i want him to end up deciding like. 'on purpose. im going to love you on purpose.'#and mizu no matter how much she tries to convince herself that she cannot love or be loved. ends up accepting it anyway#love as work and violence but also love as rest and safety#and also bcs taigen represents the ideals of society. him willing to change & grow also represents society's potential to change & progress#LMAO okay sorry i absolutely cannot stop rambling about these bitches the brainworms are insane#bcs i just noticed that other mizutaigen enjoyers tend to also be in the same fandom circles for ships that i just. do not like. at all#and wondered like huh. i wonder why that is. and wondering what makes mizutaigen different#idk just ignore me i dont even know if im making sense my brain is goop from working on my research proposal#shut up haydar#fandom.rtf
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you know that post about how scholars talk shit about each other when they write the phrase 'one might be tempted to assume,' or however it went. the entirety of crassus scholarship is like this.
#thankfully all i do is make comics and i can do whatever i want as long as i can justify the narrative beat#otherwise id be. ough. id be tempted to write a 600 page biography on him attempting to unravel this#B.A. Marshall mentioning Rawson's article on Crassus that initially intrigued me about him and he counters her assertion#that pompey overshadowed him with the triumph in a footnote like in a way we have come full circle#everyone collectively agrees that pompey and crassus were not the rivals that a lot of people seem to think they were#so im glad that we're all shaking hands on that. and that the rivalry they did have was just. the usual kind expected from the political#scene. very fun! for narrative purposes i will continue to make them periodically bite each other#because every time someone goes 'oh yeah they were heirs to sulla' i think im going to lose my mind#it does in some ways make their repeated alliance a little unsettling tho. like. haha ha ehgh. now we have to contend with#other kinds of parallels
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awawawawawawa
#bunny rambles#i was “cleared” to go back to work yesterday but she told me i could use the rest of the time also if i wanted/needed#and im using it. but the little corporateanxietybot who lives in my head and tries to make me be a Good Worker[tm] is SCREAMING HER HEAD OFF#cause she thinks my boss/Dad is gonna scream at and hit her for being Lazy#this is a trauma post also um. didnt expect to name her rn but she's screaming and i cant scream back cause she sounds like alarms and those#scare crustywhitedog so i have to calm that one so i don't meltdown#my wife submitted the RTW date for me so like. its okay im actually taking the time and ik this is necessary also bc. it is clearly unwell#that its freaking out because it's gotten a more than a 2 day break for the first time in a year#ik corporateanxietybot has protected me in some ways but. i gotta kill her so bad. maybe H can help me reformat her somehow .....#i also hate her is the thing. she cant hear me rn bc she's just looping in circles alarming but anyway. i hate her. like Me. she's so#capitalismcorebootlicker and i hate that about her and i hate that she exists and i hate that she exists bc my dad raised me to be an#Employee instead of a person 🙃🙃🙃🙃#im not elaborating or explaining any of this. this is a diary entry now#i wish i could click her to kill her like the drones in hardcoded lmao it'd be so much easier. ik she like. lives in the work mode mask as#well which is also HARD bc if im not actively thinking Of work or At work she's nonexistent#but shes so LOUD 🙃🙃 like shut up. we're not gonna explode n die from taking an extra week off you're being dramatic our boss isnt Dad#like he LITERALLY isn't Dad. not even close. he's like the most docile man in the world come on ik they're around the same age and both hve#held authority over u but boss checking in wasnt a trap ur not ab to get caught doing wrong ur fiiiiIIIIIIINE#(also corporateanxietybot is not an adult. she's 15 and terrified but she integrated to my work mask which is the problem cause she makes me#a “phenomenal employee” and also makes me work myself sick when she is given the reigns. little devil on my shoulder except the capitalist#system we live under treats her as a positive thing so she gets positive reinforcement at work which only makes her more anxious 😭 i gotta#talk to H about this next Friday huh. also wow. parts work has made it a lot easier for me to acknowledge these behaviors so i can confront#them easier. weird. strange even. so many parts have gotten names this past month n im realizing also why its been so hard to process stuff#but it also has made me kinder to myself. anyway she turned off (her batteries are low since she's been home for a month too) so im gonna#clean myself up and get some food in me and then get some cleaning done
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The Invisible Clubber........................ SMILING. CAN'T STOP SMILING. LIFE SO HAPPY. LOVE. LOVE LIFE. BEAT GETTING FASTER. CAN'T STOP SMILING. NOW JUST HARMONY. NO BEAT. MELODY. STOP MOVING. SMILE TO THE SKY. ALL STANDING STILL. BEAUTIFUL. NEVER BEEN SUCH HARMONY IN ALL HISTORY. WANT TO KISS EVERYONE. THEY WANT TO KISS ME. BREATHE IN. BREATHE OUT.................
Sebastian's Story.......... Sometimes I wonder what it'll be like to die. I'll find myself drifting off, staring at something, anything and I'll stop blinking. I feel my whole body slowing down... My heartbeat... And I wonder how long it'll be broken
*Sorry that I couldn't find the source where I got this from and have no idea when this was released. If anyone has the link I will be very glad to insert it!
#warning: expand the tags at your own risk#I've been way too jolly lately.#time to break some hearts.#oh sherlock.#I could barely type out the invisible clubber I wanted to stick my head into the door frame and have someone slam the door on me#want me to drop dead on the spot? sing oh what a night#oh the invisible clubber. the only thing I could think about is sherlock being so alone and so lost at john's wedding reception#he loves dancing so much and all around him people are dancing but he is so Alone.#he was just standing there jostled by the crowd and turning in circles being drowned in the suffocating lonliness#and so he left. he returned to 221b alone and let cocaine pump his heart for him and wrote that entry in delirium.#The. Invisible. Clubber.#tell me how else could we possibly interpret this.#and please don't mention sebastian's story to me if you don't want me to die in a gory mess on you.#“Sometimes I wonder what it'll be like to die.”#“And I wonder how long it'll be broken”#don't.#please don't.#I am going to die of heartbreak and mofftiss YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE#nothing should ever be this painful and we're not even sherlock#just imagine how utterly tortured sherlock is this entire time#I'm going to stop now. my tags are getting ridiculously out of control#bbc sherlock#sherlock#sherlock holmes#john watson#johnlock#sherlock s3#the sign of three#tsot#buckingham-ashtray
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Thanks to EVERYONE'S recommendations on my post about How Do I Get A Knitting Circle To Adopt Me - A Woodcarver - Into Their Group, I have discovered:
My local library has a knitting/crochet club that welcomes other crafts, too! I will be attending that tomorrow, so maybe they'll adopt me!
There's a local woodcarving group that has monthly meetups! Granted it meets at a senior center and membership is encouraged which I can't do obviously but I'm going to see if that's like, a hard line or not
There are a couple small, independent craft stores that might have leads on more groups, I'll be trying to hit those up in the next few weeks and see if they have any leads!
My witchy shop used to have crafting meetups, I saw it on old FB events! That will be starting back up again soon, so I can hit that up too!
And here's a tentative one - there were so many others like me who expressed the same sadness of not being able to find a little crafting group where we could all work on our respective crafts and just have fun with crafty friends and learn neat things. So I'm talking to a friend about how complicated it would be to set up a discord server for us, because gd it, I know we all live far apart but if there's a way for all of us to do a craft night together once a month or whatever and become crafty friends, we should be able to do it, along with showing off our interesting things we make in between! So put a pin in this one, since I've only ever used discord, not really run one, but if I can make it work, I'm going to try when I have some time.
#everyone had EXCELLENT tips and now i'm using them to find some crafters I can meet up with hopefully!#the library I'm SUPER optimistic about and I'm hoping it goes well tomorrow!#M CARVING APRON IS READY#and then if i can get into the little woodcarving group that would be neat too! but i'd be just as happy if the knitting circle adopts me#but i also really am going to look into the discord server because gd there are a bunch of us that just...#really want to have a nice little crafty friend circle now and then to sit and make things and chat with#it shouldn't matter that we're far or that we're all different crafters#and we can show off our things and if someone wants tips on theirs they might be able to find someone or just have others#to talk about whatever your craft is
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had the uncharitable thought just now completely out of nowhere "cis guys probably just pretend to be into batman and DC because they think it'll get them attention from girls"
afterwards my common sense caught up with the rest of my brain and the staggering implications of this made rain fall on this desert town for the first time in over a decade
#we did it fellas#full circle#we're done. we can all go home#batman#dc#curse broken?#or comic fans just have uncharitable opinions about each other and always will
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I need to stop romanticizing careers I am not mentally stable enough to maintain
#man it just. it's so hard#it's so hard because I love music so much but deep down I know I don't have it in me#I love everything about composing but I don't have the creative fortitude to make that the source of my income#a conducting student once told me I should go into conducting and I briefly considered that fantasy but the truth is I just don't have the#personality for it. I hate being in charge I hate even having to critique people playing My Own Music I don't cope well with attention#but at the same time I love doing it. I love the art form#I don't have the chops to make it as a performer. I knew this from the start but I formally gave up that idea after high school#when I realized that it was doing nothing for me but burning me out#I'm a better writer of music than I am a performer of it anyway#the only performance career I could envision for myself *possibly* would be in like. an early music ensemble or something#not that I really imagine that happening. but if I ever had the opportunity maybe I'd go for it#that's the only performance environment I really thrive in at all#and I guess in that sense it's not completely off the table. not as a main source of income but recently I've been getting gigs#for some of the folk music stuff with my friend because we're achieving a degree of notoriety in reenactment circles which is fun#idk. I know this isn't for me. I know it deep down#but I think there is always going to be a part of me that regrets it. a part of me that desperately wants to#mine#sorry I'm feeling normal about my choice of major clearly#composerposting
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