#cici's stray thoughts
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hayconrisa · 2 months ago
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been thinking about giving cici a little black cat but i fear the logistics of having a cat while you're an AWOL wouldn't work out in the cat's favor...
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vulpixisananimal · 2 months ago
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[A:3 C:65]
[Alex] |Jasmine|
“You, y-you . .” [Perci drew his swords, and was looking at you, eyes full of rage.]
“I could teleport us out, but I'm not prepared.” [Merlon was back to back with Perci, and their light was already crackling.] 
[You and Odile were facing Perci, and the rest of the party faced Merlon. You grinned.] “Don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet you stray.”
[Siffrin let out a chuckle as Merlon shot you a dirty look.] “No need for name calling now!”
“Oh, oh there is quite a need for name calling.” [Despite his damaged appearance, Siffr-Asterion was able to smile.] “my good binary star.”
“Stop that, Stargazer!” [They snap back.] “Who raised you to be so rude.”
“And who raised you to be such a, a CRAB!!” [Mirabelle yells.]
"My!” [Odile chuckles.] “You’ve even got Mirabelle up in arms. You’ve really done it now.”
“Fine.” [Merlon tapped her foot.] “If we need to fight you, then we will. Right, Cici- Perci?”
[So they noticed it too. Perci had gone quiet. He was staring at you, teeth gritted, breathing shallow, and his hands. . . They're shaking.]
“Perci, Cici, Percival!” [Adversaries forgotten, Merlon turned and shook Perci’s shoulder.] 
“Uh. . .” [Isabeau stands at ease.] “Is everything alright?”
“Really, big guy? Asking the big bad if everything's alright?” [Nille gives him a look.]
“What! It's only poli-”
(Do it again.)
[Wh- what was-(WHAM WHAM WHAM!!)-BLINDING! What is--]
(I-I'm sorry I'm sorry I-I-I won't WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM!!!)
[You grip your head and stumble back into the table. S-stars those aren't, your thoughts, they're, ah, how are you. . ACK--]
[Odile glances at you.] “Headache?”
“No.” [You shake-(No use lying. Again.)-your head Nille said you could now, but you hadn't until, now.] “I think I'm, hearing his thoughts.”
“Cici it's not real, it's not real you're okay. You're here with me, listen to me.” [Merlon puts a hand on his.]
(Please, no, more-)
[Perci snaps back, gasping and stumbling back. (Not real, not real, not real not real not real.)] “. . . I'm fine!”
“You are not!!” [Merlon keeps a hand on his as they turn to the other half of the group.] “I will transport us out of here-”
“NO! No.” [Perci slipped the mask of confidence back on and leaned back, whispering to Merlon.]
“. . . . . . . . . Weren't we gonna fight?” [Bonnie asks, annoyed.]
“Give them a second, Bonnie.” [Odile huffed.] “I'm sure the conversation is very important.”
[The two stopped whispering and Perci turned back to you, smiling.] “A bonded couple's argument, I'm sure you understand.”
“D-do you need a second? Or are we good to fight now.” [Mirabelle asks.]
“No no no! I’m alright now. Sorry about that.” [Perci chuckled, clearly covering for a slipped mask.] “Please, continue.”
“Well now that you're back to your senses. Ahem.” [You gesture dramatically to Asterion.] “Mind repeating yourself for the class?”
[Aster laughed, face softening.] “Oh I was just commenting on these binary stars!”
[Perci made a face.] “Why do I feel so. . . Attacked?”
“I believe it’s an islander insult, Cici.” [Merlon huffed and turned back.] “And it is, unfortunately, devastating.”
[The Monets glanced at each other, then both took a combat stance, Perci glared at you.] “Let’s just get this over with.”
[Odile pushes up her glasses. Odile analyzed the enemy!] “Percival Monet. Scissors craft. A highly advanced mind craft user, he’s reading your thoughts as I speak. Assume any plan of attack you have, he already knows about it. And for expressions sake don’t let him touch you!”
[You gave Odile a smug look and adjusted your glasses. You studied the enemy!] “Merlon Monet. Paper craft. Somehow, they have found a way to weaponize wish craft. Don’t take them lightly, or you’ll end up dead. She does have one weakness, eventually the wish craft will wear her out, and they’ll pass out.”
[You’re not fully sure how you remember all that, but right now it didn’t matter. Perci looks back to you, then his frown turns back into a smile.] “You want to fight so bad? Fine. We’ll fight!”
[In a smooth motion reminiscent of a dance, the Monets swapped places. Stepping to each other's left, Merlon turned to you and extended a wave of dangerous craft energy, while Perci rushed at the rest of the group.]
[You dived into Odile, both of you hitting the floor as the crackling energy passed above you. In a quick response, Odile held out a hand for [Scissors III]. Despite being defended by that light, Merlon stumbled back just a bit.]
[You get up off Odile and hold out your own paper sign. [Bramble Ramble!] And in a moment whisper rose brambles wrapped over the battlefield, that should slow them down.]
“Paper?” [Odile stands back up.] “You're not a paper type.”
“But I know paper moves.” [You reply, staring Merlon down.] “Why so surprised?”
[Merlon chuckles. Odile glances at her.] “Finding something funny, are we?”
“Oh yes, very funny.” [They waved a hand.] “I won’t spoil it.”
“How polite.” [Odile huffs, extending her sign. [Paper III]] 
[Whatever hand waving Merlon did, their shields of light were now much stronger as Odile’s attack did almost nothing. You grumbled and rushed in, pen-knife in hand. You strike, only to stop an inch away from Merlon's body, that light shielding them.]
“Stars. . !”
“Are you quite done yet?” [She reached forward and flicked your head with a finger. With a spark of light, you flew back, crashing into the table.]
[Starsdammit, you’re way underleveled. You struggle to stand as Odile gets in front of you.] “I believe we’ve never properly met each other, Merlon.”
“No, we have not.” [They hesitantly bow.] “Merlon Monet, as you very well know.”
“Odile.” [She bows back.] “No last name necessary. Now that we’re properly acquainted I can ask just how you’re able to use wishes in combat like you do.”
“Oh you know I can’t just pass out such secrets, Miss Odile.” [She puts a hand to their chin.] “But, let’s just say I’ve had many, many years of practice.”
“Is that so?” [Odile glances back as you finally stand again.] “So it’s no different from the wishes than any other person could do?”
“The only theoretical barrier is one's knowledge and willpower, Madame.” [She holds her hand out to the side.] “I’ve met none who have been able to match me, Madame, and it’s very dangerous if you don’t know what you’re doing. So don’t try.”
“Oh trust me, I don’t plan to.” [Odile held out a hand, and you heard what could only be described as a thunderclap. Odile use [Craft Break Δ!!!]]
“How-!” [Merlon stumbled back, that light dissipating for a moment. You take the chance, and rush in again, taking a stab with your pen. You connect!!]
[Merlon stumbles back, clutching their side.] “You, how did-”
[They’re cut off by Mirabelles scream from across the room.]
“HE’S WHAT?!?”
<<<
(Siffrin) {Mal Du Pays} <Null> |Asterion| [Loop] [(Saffron)]
|Perci rushed right at you, a wild smile on his face that told you all you needed to know about this fight. You raise the katana in both hands to block his attack. Mirabelle lunges from the side but Perci twists one of his swords to block her, too. Now locked between two swords, Nille came rushing with her hammer.|
|He jumped back at the last second, and all three weapons struck thin air. As soon as Perci landed, he ducked just in time to avoid Isabeaus fist on the back of his head. He spun and slashed at him back. Before dancing back and kicking you in the gut as you went to strike him in the back.|
|Stars. . .|
“You’re a nimble crab aren’tcha!” |Nille yells.| “They weren’t kidding about knowing what we’re about to do.”
“Of course, Pétronille.” |Perci chuckled.| “I’m an expert, after all.”
“Don’t talk to him, Nille!” |Mira yells, jumping in to strike.| “He’ll just get under your skin!”
“Oh my!!” |He blocked the attack and swiped back.| “Don’t worry, I’ll keep Nilles tales of the seas a secret~”
“Shut your mouth!!” |Nille ran in again to smash him down, only for Perci to sidestep her attack and strike her in the gut, thankfully, with the flat of his blade.|
{Tag out. In a swift motion you switch from sword to dagger and jump in, Perci raised his sword to block. You were locked, blade to blade, and you saw his expression change from smug, to confused, then to pained as you punched him in the stomach.}
{He stumbled back.} “. . . Hah, HAH! You tamed your sadness?”
“Tamed?!?” {Isabeau steps to your side.} “It’s not some wild animal, Perci!”
“Oh really?” {He grinned. Looking at you.} “By all metrics, it is! And you trust it? Enough to share blood with it?”
{Isa glances at you. You nod, and he shows his palm, a faint scar on it that is almost imperceptible.} “I’d trust it with my life, Perci! That’s why we’re gonna beat you!”
“Cute.” {Perci smiles, and takes off a glove, showing his own palm with a similar scar.} “I could say the same.”
{In a twist, Perci extended his scissors sign, and slashes of lightless ink shot at you and Isabeau. You block, yet the craft passes right through you.}
{A blink later, Perci was swinging at you. You go to block it, and the swing disappears. Only for you to feel a sting in your leg.}
“MAL!!” {Mirabelle rushes to your side, and Nille passes you to strike at thin air. Then suddenly Perci is at your side! And then is gone, then, Isabeau is holding his head, kneeling. Oh. You shake your head.}
{As Mirabelle uses her healing craft, you point to your head then hands together, then wave over your eyes. “A trick, a veil over the eyes. Illusion.”}
“You’re seeing things?” {She asks, you nod.} “Got it, can you switch out?”
{You sigh, but nod. Some protector you’ve been, perhaps it’s not in your nature. You close your eye.}
|After a brief headache, you’re back. O-oh. . It’s too hectic to focus properly, or switch easily without pain. Stars, you’re only mostly sure you are. . . You. Your eye snaps open to see Nille barely holding Perci off, and Mirabelle tending to Isabeau. You switch dagger for sword and run in again.|
|Perci jumps back from your swing. You hold out a fist.| “I will not let you win!! |You used [Cries of the Lost!] Tears drip from your fist, then fly at Perci. He deflects some, but others catch his legs, taking him to a knee.|
|And that was the golden moment for the frying pan wielding savior to run in and smash Perci in the head. He didn’t even see Bonnie coming, stumbling back and holding his neck, and watching the kid run back behind Nille.|
“. . . Haa, you’re all quite tricky, you know.” |He stands up, relaxed.| “For one I wouldn’t think being plural would be so helpful in the middle of a fight!”
|You don’t reply, don’t talk to him. He looks at you, and smiles.| “Cat got your tongue? Or do you not like someone poking in your head.”
“STOP TALKING CRABFACE!!!!” |Bonnie was barely holding themself back from attacking him again.|
|Perci glanced at them, then you.| “. . . Why are we even fighting, anyways.”
“Because you're trying to take over our minds!!” |Mirabelle rebuked, having helped Isabeau recover.| “We can stop fighting, j-just as long as you stop using mind craft!!”
“A chance to change my ways?” |He laughed, sheathing a sword and shaking his head.| “So is that the same offer you gave your once-enemy now-friend?”
“Ramos?” |She huffed.| “They only did the things they did because of you!!”
“Oh no no!! I don't mean Ramos.” |He smiles.| “I'm talking about Asterion here! Unless. . .”
|Your eye goes wide.|
“Unless you don't know who he is.”
|You rush at him, metal clashing against metal, he blocks and strikes back. You rush again, and with one hand he keeps you at bay.|
“Oh? Why so aggressive!! Did I hit a nerve?” |He pushes you back.| “After all, I may tell half-truths, but you're the one stabbing them all in the back!!”
|You hear Mirabelle behind you.| “. . . A-asterion? What does he-”
|No no no NO NO!! You rush again. You need to shut him up, shut him up or, o-or do something!! You swing, but he effortlessly sidesteps you, and hits you with the hilt of his sword. You collapse to all fours.|
“Aster!!” |Isabeau runs to get to you, but Perci cuts him off.| “Leave him alone!”
“And why would I do that?” |He twirled his sword.| “I've always wanted to commit regicide.”
“Wha. . ?” |Isa steps back.|
“R-regicide?!?” |Mirabelle hesitates.|
“Crab you mean?!?” |Nille grips her hammer tighter.|
“. . .” |And, Bonnie. They're just, looking at you.|
“Why, exactly what you think I do~” |He looks back at you, no nononononononononono--|
|You're shaking, you're shaking, you can't breathe.| “P-please, no-”
 “Shall I tell them for you, your majesty?”
|You're frozen to the spot.|
“HE'S WHAT?!?" |Mirabelle screams.|
“LIKE CHANGE HE IS!!” |Nille yells and runs at Perci.|
“Oh trust me, he is.” |He dodges.| “I can see it all over your face, you know it's true.”
“SHUT UP!!” 
“Asterion. . ?” |Isabeau is looking at you. You're crawling away, slowly. You can’t, you, you can’t look at him, you can’t look at any of them, you feel, pale, you feel cold and, numb. Your breathing stopped, you can’t focus you can’t, c-cant-|
|You grip your hair, close your eye, you can’t can’tcan’tcan’tloopbacloopbackloopback-|
“Well I don’t care if he is!!” |Mirabelle joined Nille on the offensive, stabbing relentlessly at the historian.| “If he really is the King, he’s already proven to us multiple times that he’s changed!!”
“Mirabelle’s right.” |Isabeau sounded like he was right next to you. Opening an eye, he is. He’s holding a hand out to you. You took it.| “When I first met him he didn’t even know who he was or what to do. So we’ll deal with that later. AFTER we deal with YOU!!”
“Interesting.” |There’s a pause in the fight, Perci breathing faster.| “. . . And what do you think? Boniface?”
|Glancing over, Bonnie’s. . . Still, looking at you.|
“Tell me, Bonnie, why does your mind feel blank?” |Perci chuckles.| “Why is it that when puppeting Ramos, I mistook you for the islander I was looking for?” 
“. . Bonnie. . ?” |Nilles voice. A moment later, she was crouched down in front of their sibling.| “Bonnie what’s he talking about? What’s-”
“SHUTTUP!! GO AWAY!!!” |Bonnie yelled, pushing Nille away and stepping back.| “YOU DON’T KNOW ME YOU CRAB!!!”
“B-BONNIE?!?!?” |Nille was taken aback, Bonnie was crying.| 
“Interesting! Tell me, Bonnie, did you make a little wish?” Perci was practically gloating.
“SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!” Bonnie clamped their hands over their ears. “I DID NOT!!!”
“Oh! You clearly did.” His smile was venomous. The fighting from the other half of the room was making its way over to yours. “And if I had to guess the wish, it’s something to do with. . . memory~?”
“N-NO!! NO!! SHUT UP!!!”
“Odile is very observant, you know, and thus now I know. It was only a matter of time before she told everyone what she found-”
“NOTHING IT’S NOTHING IT’S NOTHING!!!!!” 
“B-bonbon, Bonnie, Boniface please.” [(The Carpenter crouched down in front of the Kid.)] “It’s, listen whatever it was it’s okay I just-”
“SHUT UP!!!!” [(They’re crying. You cling tighter to the Fighter, eye wide.)] “JUST CRABBING SHUT UP!!!! I JUST WANTED TO BE HELPFUL!!!”
[(The scholar laughed. You looked at him.)] “That’s no way to talk to someone trying to help you! Here, I’ll say it for you”
“NO-”
“You remember. Don’t you.” [(He chuckled.)] “You remember all the times your traveler has looped back.”
[(The Kids head snapped to attention, they’re crying and can’t stop. Their bottom lip is trembling. The Carpenter gets closer.)] “Bonnie. . .”
“E-every. .” [(The Housemaiden was keeping the Scholar at a distance.)] “Every, one?”
“That’s something to ask them.”
“Okay! That’s enough!” [(You bolt from The Fighters arms, smiling to yourself as you lunge at the Scholar, no care for your own health. He blocks, but you’re relentless.)]
[(Eventually, he pushes you away from him.)] “Ah! That’s our cue to leave. Mimi~!”
[(You hear a snap, and move back just in time to avoid the explosion at your feet that somehow, leaves the ground without a scratch!)]
[(The Sage joins The Scholar, both near the exit. The Sage smiled.)] “Bravo, Cici.”
“I told you I’d get us an exit, Mimi.” [(He chuckled.)] “Saviors! I bid you all adieu, don’t try to follow, I’ve spoiled two secrets tonight, pray that I don’t spoil a third.”
[(He backs up towards the exit, you see The Trainee start to chase him before The Researcher catches their shirt. The Housemaiden is at your side. You can see she wants to chase as well. You stand, and go to chase, but another grabs your cloak before you do.)]
“JUST GET OUTTA HERE YOU, Y-YOU CRAB!!!” [(The Kid yells.)]
[(The Scholar bows, and exits, the Sage pauses a second, looking at you before they follow.)] “. . . Perhaps that’s something you can learn from Perci and I, saviors; communication.” 
[(They leave, and the doors slam shut.)]
[(. . . . . . You, breathe out.)]
[Mirabelle is now level- oh you’re not doing all that. You shake your head, and fall back onto the ground.]
“Stars above. . .” [You close your eye and breathe. Bonnie’s crying, Nille is worried, everyone’s wounded, and Ramos is. . . Stars. . .]
“A-asterion?” [You hear Mirabelle crouch down next to you.] “Are you-”
“Wrong headmate, Housemaiden~ Try again.” [You giggle, exhausted.]
“O-oh! Loop are, you alright? I-I’m guessing you, just switched in?”
“Correct. . .” [You’re still breathing heavily.] “I think the other three all got a bit. . .”
“Overwhelmed?” [Isabeaus voice. You open your eye a crack, he’s smiling down at you.] “I wouldn’t blame them.”
“I can see the battle replaying in my head.” [You laugh a little.] “Overwhelmed I think is an understatement.”
“Hey!” [Ramos- hmm, voice was off. You sit up.] “Let’s head home everyone. Rest up, deal with everything later. Alright?”
[There’s general agreement around the room. Mirabelle and Isabeau both help you up. Nille was carrying the crying Bonnie, and Odile and. . . “Ramos” led the charge home.]
[As she passes you, her younger siblings face buried into her shoulder, Nille gives you a look.]
[Stars. . .]
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hyyunjinn · 5 years ago
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LATE TO THE PARTY BUT CLE LEVANTER IS SO GOOD
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seungminhos · 6 years ago
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please stan golcha with me im desperate😔
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strgaykids · 7 years ago
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ASDLFJKHASDLFH HYUNJIN LOOKS SO GOOD IN CONTACTS
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leeknows · 7 years ago
Conversation
the new gen
Kid: Mom, how did you meet dad?
Cici: Oh darling, we went Pokémon go-ing and fell in love.
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realstraykids · 7 years ago
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ʜʏᴜɴᴊɪɴ ғᴏʀ ᴠᴏɢᴜᴇ ᴍᴀɢᴀᴢɪɴᴇ 
(for @hyyunjinn just ‘cause ♡)
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marshmalleaux-draws · 4 years ago
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An updated bio/design for my BNHA self insert! Super proud of how she turned out. Originally she was gonna have three expressions, but I’m tired as hell and am honestly happy with what I got here!
Bio under the cut~
Name: Seppen Shijinko Nicknames: Seppen, Snowflake, Cici Age: 24 Birthday: February 13 Quirk: Winter Reign Hero(?) Name: Snowflake Likes: Marshmallows, salty things, lavender (the color, flower, and scent), ribbons (especially red ones) Dislikes: Thunderstorms, spicy things (she can’t even tolerate bell peppers), bees
BACKGROUND
Seppen is naturally generous, caring, timid, and empathetic, but rather naive. She’s happiest when helping others and keeping her friends happy, but she can easily forget about her own needs in the process. She struggles with severe anxiety, insecurity, and a fear of failure, which she feels gets in the way of helping others on the scale that she wants.
At the beginning of Seppen’s high school career, she attempts to combat these troubles by enrolling in UA’s hero course. She hopes that pushing herself past her comfort zone will force her to become more confident and conquer her insecurities, in order to keep up with the high standards and challenges set by the school. This small burst of conviction is enough for her to put on a compelling performance during the entrance exams and get accepted into the program, though only barely.
During her time at UA, she meets and befriends Aizawa. After seeing her performance in the entrance exams and learning of her reasoning for enrolling, he comes to admire her goal of pushing herself to be better despite her inner struggles. Because of her gentle nature and her Quirk, he gives her the teasing but affectionate name of “Snowflake.” Likewise, Seppen is inspired by Aizawa’s diligence when it comes to his training and studies. She likes how he can be understanding and sympathetic when he needs to, without coddling her or sugar-coating his words. The two become fast friends, much to the surprise of her classmates (though Hizashi is just happy that Aizawa is socializing more).
Unfortunately, Seppen’s insecurities catch up and get the better of her. Not even a year in, she cracks under the pressure of the hero course and drops out, convinced that she simply doesn’t have the dedication and courage needed to become a hero. She finishes her education at a normal public school instead. She is so ashamed of disappointing Aizawa’s expectations of her that she can’t even bring herself to keep in contact with him afterwards.
She ends up living with her best friend of many years prior to UA, Alia, who had successfully graduated UA’s hero course and now has steady work as the Pro Hero Madame Roseate. Seppen still lacks the confidence to do real hero work herself, but she’s eager to support her friend when she can get away with it. For no real reason but her own amusement, she decides to give herself an unofficial hero name, too - the one her old friend gave her years ago - Snowflake.
Months later, Seppen and Alia learn of a reunion being held at UA, celebrating the successes of graduates who are now Pro Heroes and staff members at the very school they attended. Alia, having had an old flame there in her high school years, encourages (and eventually convinces) Seppen to join her.
As luck would have it, Seppen runs into Aizawa. He first expresses surprise, then concern about what had happened back then, curious to know where she’d been all this time. Embarrassed, Seppen comes clean about dropping out and avoiding contact with him, but she’s shocked to hear that Aizawa isn’t upset with her. In fact, he had always thought that with her selfless and generous personality, she had plenty of potential at UA, even if she had chosen a different direction than the hero course. He’s only disappointed that she didn’t realize it before throwing in the towel completely, but he’s still happy to see that she’s managing in the world. Though still uncertain, she’s flattered at his praise, and the two easily begin to reconnect - this time, blossoming into a romantic relationship.
Today, Seppen is still not confident enough in herself to become a Pro Hero, but she takes Aizawa’s words to heart and finds a happy middle ground where she can keep helping others. She lands herself a position offering emotional and psychological counsel to the young students of UA. Her gentle personality makes it very easy for others to confide in her, and those that seek her guidance walk out happier than they came in, which is exactly what she was working towards in the first place.
QUIRK
Seppen’s Quirk allows her to manipulate the air around her, making the temperature colder and freezing moisture particles. She can reform said frozen particles in various ways to enhance her attacks or provide support. It’s naturally more effective in humid areas. Seppen can still create ice in dry areas, however it is much more brittle. She is vulnerable to heat, and becomes sleepier as the temperature around her rises. Extremely hot environments (e.g., areas heated by the use of Quirks such as Endeavor’s) can cause her to fall asleep almost instantly.
Though her body can generally handle the freezing temperatures of her own Quirk (and others’), overuse of her abilities will eventually begin to cause hypothermia and frostbite. However, this is a very rare scenario, as she is rather conservative with her Quirk usage.
ABILITIES
Frigid Reinforcement - Seppen can coat her arms or legs in solid ice to reinforce any punches or kicks. Glacial Barrier - Able to encase her whole body in a block of ice for protection. However, she is completely immobile until the ice is broken. Blizzard Cloak - Seppen can conjure a blizzard that makes it harder to see her. Snow Healing - The snow she creates has special healing properties that can treat moderate, non-fatal external wounds. It can’t repair broken bones or internal injuries.
OTHER FACTS
~ Seppen Shijinko is not her real name. She and Alia were born and raised in America, becoming friends in their early school days before moving to Japan together to apply at UA. Though Alia kept her English name, Seppen was more worried about standing out, so she opted for an alias that fit her Quirk. Only three people besides herself know her real name: Alia, Aizawa, and Endeavor. ~ Her last name, Shijinko, translates to “child of a poet.” It doesn’t necessarily relate to her quirk, but it is the meaning of the name that her real last name is derived from. ~ She has Tourette’s Syndrome, which has earned her the endearment of Kaminari (I headcanon that he also has Tourettes, as a side effect of his Quirk). It’s also earned her the nickname “Squeaks” from Bakugou, which she despises with a passion. ~ She collects the fortunes from fortune cookies, as well as ribbons (be they stray, from a gift, from clothes, or bought in spools). She has a photo album for the fortunes and multiple boxes for the ribbons.
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ill-skillsgard · 6 years ago
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Damn Straight, Part 5 - Bill Skarsgård
Title: Damn Straight
Description: Deceptions bring a young couple to Mirth Island, a place of natural beauty and the promise of inner healing. When one of them is introduced to a young man who lives on the island, their budding friendship threatens to destroy more than just trust.
Warning: 18+ sex/swearing/drug use/mentions of addiction and cheating
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
When I woke up in Bill's bed the next morning I started to feel panic inside of me. Although we didn't explicitly have sex the night before, we did cross a hard line. I had done it again. Slowly and without a sound, I got out of my laying position beside him and sat up in bed, planted my feet on the cool floor and breathed in deeply to ward off the wash of anxiety that was already blanketing me. With my head in my hands, I started to picture all of the terrible things that had happened over the course of the last year. I remembered the fight Cici and I had that ended with me leaving the house because I simply could not stand to be around her. It was over some stupid, mundane issue that she had decided to throw an ostentatious grenade at. I could hardly remember what happened but I did remember that it was enough for me to be sure that I wanted nothing more to do with her. I recalled entering a bar and ordering a double rye and ginger that I finished in under two minutes and then ordering straight shots to just get the job done properly. I remembered wanting to feel as numb as possible. I vaguely recalled a man hitting on me because I was alone at the bar taking shot after shot then saying more to myself than to him, "fuck it! I want to fuck my first guy!" I made that guy take me to his car so I could feed the demon that had been growing ever larger inside of me day by day. When I was starting to question myself, I would attribute my desire to that of an evil living within me. It was a shadow attached to my heels that tormented me and made me feel like I was sick but it was part of me nevertheless and that's what was so scary about it. The demon lived inside of my head and got bigger anytime I even gave thought to a man I passed on the street or saw a commercial for men's designer cologne. I remembered thinking, finally, this was what it was like to have a cock inside of me. A real cock, not a silicone vibrator or a couple of fingers. This was what it was like to be man-handled in the back of a car. I remembered the guilt I felt that followed and the pain I was in two weeks after. The doctor told me I had to take antibiotics because I had tested positive for a sexually transmitted disease. I told Cici I was just going to get a pap test so that she wouldn't be suspicious. The shame I had was so palpable thought that I couldn't even act like everything was okay. Then she found the medication bottle I was hiding in my purse and she quickly threw it together. That fight could have ended with both of us in the back of a squad car if I hadn't decided to tell another lie. I told her it wasn't my fault, that it was beyond my control. I told her I had a sex addiction to cover for the fact that I had cheated on her and she had found out. It was a flimsy little wimp of a lie but it seemed to convince her not to destroy everything in our house and bought me a little grace. Then came the pathetic attempts at putting the pieces of our shattered relationship back together. She would try to engage me sexually but when she sat in my lap and ground herself against me I felt the opposite of arousal. I wanted to push her away. I couldn't tell her that I didn't want to have sex with her so I resorted to claiming that I had to be celibate in order to overcome my fake addiction to sex. It only put her off for a couple more weeks. All the while I was trying to mentally prepare myself to tell her that I wanted to see other people. I wanted to move out and get my own apartment but when I paused to think about everything, I realized I would be giving away much more than just our twenty-year relationship. I would be giving up the house we had bought together, the promises we made, the first love I ever knew. But I just wasn't the same person as I was and it was easy to see, especially for her. When I finally alluded to the fact that I had been giving thought to us parting ways she did everything in her power to make me regret my statement. She threw things at me and screamed louder than I ever knew her to be capable of. With handfuls of her own hair tangled in her fingers, she broke down and told me that she would die if I left her. I told her that I couldn't be around her when she was like that so she locked herself in the bathroom. I tried to get her to open the door but she refused to. I remembered her turning the shower on and me thinking, "oh good, she's going to have a shower and calm down so that we can talk about this after." The shower went on for ten minutes and then twenty. Once she had been in there for thirty minutes with the water running I started to get a little freaked out. I turned the doorknob again but was met with resistance from the lock. I knocked and waited for her to scream at me to fuck off. I knocked harder and harder until I was the one screaming at her to let me in. Fearing the worst, I went to the front closet to put on a pair of boots so I could kick the door in. I remember how many times I had to hoof the door with all of my might and then some before it gave way, cracking and eventually splintering underneath the sole of my Doc Marten boot. Steam from the hot water billowed out of the hole I created and even more so as I totally demolished the solid antique door to get inside. When I ripped back the shower curtains she was laying in a heap at the bottom of the tub, wrists flapped open and bleeding out to wash away underneath the spray of the shower head. The culprit- a pair of bloodstained hair-cutting scissors were splayed out on the floor next to the tub. Screaming in terror, I quickly ran to get towels. I wrapped her bleeding arms up after I hauled her limp body out of the tub and onto the cold tiles. She was bleeding so much that it continued to gush out from the thick towel moments after I wound it around her arms. I had to call the police but I didn't want to leave her side for even a second. Hooking my arms underneath her armpits, I dragged her rubber doll of a body out of the bathroom into the kitchen where my cell phone had been charging. I remember the ride to the hospital and pacing in the staunch white box of a waiting room to find out if she was going to die or not. Minutes turned into an hour and my high-strung, anxiety-riddled brain had convinced me that she was gone. There was no way she could have survived ripping open her arms that wide. When they told me she, in fact, was going to make it I felt the strangest wringing in my gut. She was going to blame this on me. This was going to be my fault whether I accepted it or not. She was going to dangle this over my head until the end of my days. And I was right. After the shock of the incident subsided a couple of weeks later, she pulled her suicide card on me. Cici wanted to have sex and if I didn't have sex with her she was going to find a way to kill herself again. So I had sex with her and after it I sat on the end of the bed with silent tears pouring down my cheeks as she laid under the blankets, satisfied and content with herself. The more she reminded me of what she had done simply because I suggested we take time apart, the more I came to resent her and the farther away I strayed from the thought of wanting to patch things up. I knew for a long time that I would eventually have to free myself from her but I just didn't know how. Our families were practically planning our wedding, our house was in both our names and if I didn't give Cici exactly what she wanted she would flash her big thick, pink scars at me. I was done with that, I decided. If she would have rather died than be without me, what would I be able to do? I couldn't live under her thumb any longer. My true self was only beginning to break through the chrysalis. There was no turning back for me. After I came out of my own thoughts and became aware of my surroundings again, I looked over at Bill who was still asleep. Sweet, loving, caring Bill. I sighed as I took in his form and how he was stretched out from the head of the bed to the foot. My heart sang every time I recalled kissing his lips or him touching my face or the way he looked in the moonlight the night we all got too high. I crawled over the bed and ran my fingers through his hair, petting him until his eyes fluttered open. "Good morning," he rasped. "Good morning," I replied. "Have you been up long?" He asked me. I shook my head no. "I have to find Cici today. Or at least find out if she actually did leave the island." Bill sat up in bed and rubbed his face with those enormous hands. "Yes. We should look for her. I mean... If you want my help?" "Yes. I think I need your help." "Okay," he said, still sleepy but growing more alert with each second. We had a little bit to eat and Bill changed into some fresh clothes before we went downstairs to my suite. When we entered the room I tried to survey it thoroughly to see if anything had changed since I left. It didn't look like anyone had been there. I went through the drawers that Cici had stuffed her clothes into and saw that they were all still there. Bill checked the bathroom and the kitchen and I looked out the patio doors to see if by chance she was outside somewhere. When I turned back around I gasped, drawing Bill from the kitchen with a furrowed-brow look of concern. "Cici..." I said. She was standing in the doorway wearing the same thing she was wearing when she had left. I hadn't seen her in over twenty-four hours and it looked like she hadn't showered or eaten anything or slept a wink. "Did you two have a lovely night together?" She asked, voice frighteningly low. "Where did you go?" I asked. "Don't avoid my question." I looked over at Bill and swallowed hard. He stood at the step leading up to the kitchenette with his hands shoved into his pants pockets and his eyes wide with worry for the both of us. "I am not going to entertain you by answering pointless questions. Bill is just here to help." "Help with what? Your cock-addiction?" She spat. "Cici-" Bill was cut off. "Shut up! Who even ARE you, anyway? Some guy that fucks people's girlfriends when they come to this stupid island to try to fix their relationships? Huh? Where's the fucking peace and love and unity in that?" "Don't talk to him like that, Cici." "Oh, so you're defending him now? You must be a really nice fuck-toy if Vye is defending you! Did she tell you that she caught chlamydia from a dirty cock once?" I recoiled only slightly. Bill started to get this look of anger about him as Cici went on. "Enough! Cici... You and Vye need to settle this shit right now." Cici cocked her hip in that dramatic teenage way that I detested. "Then why are you here, Bill?" "He's here in case you decide to slice your fucking wrists again. Because no one human is capable of handling your bullshit. You're volatile." Cici began to laugh and held up her hands as though asking me to stop talking. "Oh, you don't have to worry about that, Vye. I'm not going to kill myself because of you. I want to stick around to watch your life fall to pieces without me in it." "I'm not going back," I stated, more sure of myself than ever. She scoffed at me, tossed a look in Bill's direction and then back to where I was standing. "Oh! Oh! This is good. Let me guess... You two are in love and you are going to stay on the island with him?" "Yes," Bill said. "She is going to stay with me if she needs to." "Cici," I started, taking a long breath in. "We are done. We have been done for so long but we are so fucking over now that it's not even painful to me anymore. You have exhausted every method of controlling me that you possibly can. I'm not going to fall for any of your screaming fits or suicide-attempts ever again." She crossed her arms and fumbled with what to say next so I continued. "There was a time when I thought you and I were going to go all the way but that time is long gone. And I want to be one hundred percent honest with you now... I am not anything like the person I was in high school or even a couple of years ago. I haven't been attracted to you for a long time and it has nothing to do with the fact that I like men. It has to do with the fact that you are a hideous person on the inside. You are fucking twisted and evil and the shit that you have done to me is so much worse than what I have done to you." "You're trying to tell me that cheating on your partner and getting the clap is worse than what I did?" Cici challenged me. "Yeah, I made a mistake but you haven't let me live it down for even a day since. You've been using your emotional manipulation to beat me down for months and months instead of thinking that maybe I have been having a hard time accepting who I am. You are so blind to anything that doesn't directly benefit you." "Well then..." She started. "If this is the end, so be it. I'll take all of my things and I'll leave you so you can finally be happy. There's a ferry leaving in an hour and I will be on it and when I get home I will pack my things and leave the house. You can deal with it all. You can pay the mortgage and all the bills and you won't have to see me ever again." My eyes fell to the floor for a moment. Her reaction was not what I expected. I thought she was going to go off like a time bomb and try to use one of her notorious fits to shift the focus away from what I was telling her. Her tone was anything but child-like, her calmness was alarming. She didn't even look like she was going to shed a tear. "Fine... If that's what you want," I said to her. "It is. I hope you have yourself a wonderful little life on Mirth Island. Now, if you please, leave so I can pack my stuff. I'd rather not have you fucking people gawking at me." Bill crossed the room and pushed me toward the patio door. I allowed him to guide me outside and when he shut the sliding door behind us I stared out over the beach. "Vye..." Bill said as I started towards the sand. "Vye! Wait!" I made my way down the path, putting as much space between myself and Cici as I possibly could. Bill followed behind me and tried to grasp my arm but I just kept trudging through the sand down to the water. "What are you doing?" He called out. There was nothing he could do to stop me so he settled for following until we reached the wet lip of the beach and even then I kept going, splashing through the tide, pulling my legs through the waves until it became hard for me to wade any further. When I was up to my navel in the water I dropped to my knees, plunging in and cutting off the sound of Bill's yelling. I let the water wash over me and exalted the deep running drone of the ocean. When I emerged for breath, Bill had stopped yelling for me. The water was cool and refreshing and I probably looked like a crazy person but I didn't care. I needed it. I had to wash away the residue of so many years of confusion and inner pain. I was released. I was self-aware. The anchor that had held me in place for so long had come free and I was finally able to drift away. The tide carried me back a little and I stood up on the sandbar. Splashing behind me told that Bill was approaching. A huge pair of arms wrapped around my body and I wrapped my own arms around them, dropping my head so that he couldn't see the tears running down my face. "Vye? Are you okay?" He asked, pressing a kiss to the back of my head. "Yes," I sobbed. "Yes." "You sure?" I nodded. "I am so fucking okay right now. More okay than I have ever been." I spun in his embrace and replaced my arms around his neck. He had to lean over to hold me the way I needed to be held. I kissed his smooth warm shoulder and his neck while I clung to him tightly, indulging my need to breathe in his scent and touch his skin. "Thank you," I whispered, unable to overcome my tears again. "Thank you so much." "Thank you for what?" He asked, half laughing, half absolutely dumbfounded. "For just being you. For being here. Thank you for being with me." He wrapped me up in his arms again and I felt so small pressed against his chest. He brushed my wet hair away from my face, kissed the top of my head once more and made sure he was holding onto me as tight as he could without hurting me. The sounds of the waves crashing in the distance were like music, his embrace a warm blanket around my body. We stood there for what felt like an hour. Nobody walking down the beach stopped to call to us and Bill didn't suggest we move until I was good and ready. When I was, he took my hand and led me back to the dry sand. He took my face between his hands and stared down at me lovingly. "I'm proud of you," he whispered. "Thank you." The heat of the sun began to dry my hair already. It was a gorgeous day and there was hardly a soul on the beach. Bill hugged me again and I couldn't help the way I broke down. It was hard not to sob into his shirt but I knew that I needed to. Months of emotions were spilling from me and I could do nothing to stop it. But it felt good to let go. I spent a lot of time just clinging to Bill and he knew that I needed it badly. I needed love and understanding and for somebody to tell me it was all right for me to feel the things I was feeling. After I had mostly cried myself dry, we decided to go back to the suite. Just like Cici claimed, the room was free of her belongings. Her suitcase that had been sitting next to mine was gone and she had left the room key on the bedside table. The drawers she had occupied were empty and all of her shoes were missing. Out of habit, I looked through my things to make sure everything was accounted for and when I was satisfied, I turned to Bill and sighed. "Everything good?" He asked. "Yeah. Everything is fine." ~*~ After the sunset circle concluded, I left the beach and went straight back to Seaside, up the stairs and right through Bill's door. He was sitting on the balcony smoking a cigarette, waiting for me to come back. When he saw me, he took one last drag and crushed the butt end out into an ashtray. I joined him on the balcony and sat on his lap. He tasted like smoke when I kissed him but I didn't mind that much. All I wanted was to kiss him and keep kissing him until I couldn't anymore. "Vye, I have something I want to tell you, a secret I guess." He said, pulling away from our embrace. He ran his hands over my legs and up my back, shifting in his chair so he was more comfortable. I was about to stand up but he didn't allow me to move, instead, he held onto me tighter. "Why didn't you come to circle and tell the ocean your secrets like the rest of us, huh?" I asked playfully. He flashed me that sweet smile, the one that stretched out his full lips over his beautiful face and revealed the cute dimple he had on his chin. "It's more of a between-you-and-me secret. I don't need the whole island to know." "What's up?" He sighed into the air and looked into the room then back at me. "I really wasn't going to tell anyone this but I also wasn't planning on meeting you. But... for the last couple of weeks I have been planning on moving." "Moving?" "Yeah. I'm going to be moving back to Sweden soon." "Oh," was all I managed to say. My heart began to sink into my stomach but Bill saved it by tilting my chin back up so he could look at my face. "I want you to come. I know it's fucking crazy and we just kind of met but... I want you to come with me." "What? Are you serious?" I asked, shock evident in my tone. "I know you have a lot of things to deal with back in BC but I know I'm not wrong about us. I want you here. I want you with me." "Bill..." I began but had no idea where I was going with it. "I told you that I couldn't promise I wouldn't be all over you." He reminded me. "I know, I know. It's just... Dude, I have a lot of fucking baggage right now." "So do I. So does everyone! I don't care. Baggage comes with anyone. I have seen your fucking baggage!" We both started to laugh and once we settled down Bill looked at me with his sparkling eyes and kissed me again. "Come to Sweden with me. You have spent your whole life in one place, doing one thing and I have spent a lot of time here by myself. I think the both of us could really use a change of scenery." "You are my change of scenery! You are a very big change of scenery!" Bill pressed his lips to my collarbone and purred, "Yeah, really big. You like how big I am." His hands ran down my back and didn't stop until his fingers couldn't push any further down the back of my shorts. Now that everything had been blasted open and Cici was gone, I had no feelings of guilt when it came to how attracted I was to him. I knew that as soon as we went back into the room and closed the doors I was going to find out exactly what it was like to be with a man. Bill rocked me with his hips a little bit and let his hand ghost over the front of my shirt. I shuddered when he squeezed my breast and stared up at me with those puppy eyes, even though he was anything but innocent. "Is it too soon? I don't want to freak you out." He said apologetically. "No, it's all right. It's not too soon. I just don't know what to say." "How about this? We'll forget about what I said tonight and you will go inside to take off those little shorts and that shirt and you're going to slip out of that little bikini and I'm going to meet you in the shower." "Then what?" I teased. "Then... I'm going to show you what it's like to have your pussy played with by a real man. That okay with you?" "Yes," I squeaked. "Good," He said, giving me a spank as I stood up to go do exactly what he had told me.
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channiechanchan · 7 years ago
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1 Year Anniversary of Survival
*TRIGGER WARNING!! I MENTION SUICIDE AND DEPRESSION(NOT A LOT BUT STILL BEWARE) so please don’t read this if you suffer from this*
For those who don’t know what I meant by survival, I was involved in a car accident with 2 of my friends last year in this very same day. This is gonna be long so I’m gonna put a cut oooooof
I sustained many injuries both emotionally and physically. Luckily I didn’t break any bone okay except my right collar bone. I do have a traumatic brain injury, which caused my brain pressure to go up and I was in and out of the operating room. Because I could not lie down flat for a very long time. Honestly I was in the hospital for a good 3 months, but no worries I’m all good now at least I think I am… I do have another surgery to do but I don’t think I’ll do it due to future consequences such as painful pregnancy and I don’t want to be in more pain during the recovery, plus I don’t want to stay in the hospital again. 
Okay there was a point in my hospital days where I thought that I shouldn’t have survived that day…There were times when I was alone in my room in the hospital, I would look at myself in the mirror and I hated myself… Silently yelling at myself that I should’ve died… I blamed myself because my best friend had a hard time walking and I am able to walk. I hate seeing her in so much pain and how she gets frustrated because it hurts to walk. She is working on her walking this summer so that she can attend college in person. I love her to death! She’s like a sister to me, so if I had lost her that day I don’t know what I would’ve done to myself, maybe I wouldn’t be here today.
But anyways stop with all the sad stuff… I wrote this to show people that whatever you’re facing right now, just know that you are not alone. Yes I know that people face different problems and they face them differently, but I just want you all to know that you will overcome it. I know that it’ll take some time but time heals everything and I know that sounds cheesy af but I know you will! So keep fighting~! Don’t give up on yourself.
I also covered this song because this is one of my favorite 3RACHA song that helped me with depression.Honestly Stray Kids, Wanna One, JBJ and all of my mutuals and the people who I stalk lol helped me with my depression
This is gonna get longer ooof
Okay first of all: Em, @realstraykids I found her blog when I found out about SK and they literally swallowed me whole lol, I really love seeing her content when I was feeling sad and then I saw that she was making a  grandma line kkt gc, so I  joined. I met wonderful people, especially Ruby, @changbeanie idk I think I got closer with her more because of her content that I may have stalked before lol and I followed her blog and stalked it again and read everything, I still reread all of them from time to time. Idk… Her content just made me a little bit happier and made me want to write too and thus @/channiechanchan was born lol. I also left her some anon messages without names and then I made an anon name lol but then Lou, a.k.a @felixmahdork found my identity. So then Lou and I got close. Honestly she makes me happy too, with her randomness and her stories that I read over and over too, her works are amazing, even if she says it’s not. 
And to the mutuals I have not talked to but we like or tag each other on those tag games, I LOVE YOU ALL!! Phoebe, @strayboys your content makes me laugh even when I was having a bad day. Also Lauren, @cocacolamemebois just seeing you in my dash makes my day and you tagged me in those tag things which just made me happy and feel appreciated
I then started to join networks and they were very welcoming! I would like to thank @straysunshinesnet people(cause there’s a lot of you lol) for welcoming me to their family. I love you all so much!! 
Aimee @arqueritefrost we just started talking but I already love you a lot~! I still can’t believe I took your bait… Ooof but it’s fine I guess lol JUST KNOW I LOVE YOU AND YOU’RE CUTE AF
Jess @spearkook hii my other daughter oof okay so the first message you sent me melted my heart and it really made me happy!!
I would also like to thank Yenni, @every1studio I stalked her during the summer when she was using her old account lol and let me tell you how her blog made my life bearable, summer was my really bad days. I love you so much and take care of yourself
I would tag the SK blogs I follow but then I’d be exposed, ehh fook it  Okay so like Kris (@hey-hey-chan) and Cici (@hyyunjinn) I found your guys’ blog when I was looking for SK blogs and I just fell in love with both of your content, so I stalked you guys all throughout fall till now lol I’d tag more but this is already getting long…
To all my followers if you see this just know that I love you all so much!! YOU ALL MEAN THE WORLD TO ME!!
So here I am standing for the very first time after 2 months of being in bed(I look like a mess don’t @ me about it lol)
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And here is the video of me walking
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lovereturns · 7 years ago
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get to know me tag!
Tagged by: @osoleleo <3 
Rules: answer 30 questions and then tag blogs you want to know better
Tagging: I... don’t really know people on this blog but I guess @georgieporgiepuddininpie @introsgf @xstardrop @wiibelle @pocky-flavored-love @fallengeneration @rosiemayskitty @flowerminv (I feel like I haven’t talked to any of you guys in yeaaars,,,) 
Nickname: Cici! 
Gender: female
Zodiac: libra 
Height: a whole 5′1.5′’ 
Time: 8:29 PM 
Favorite band/artist: The CAB, Marianas Trench, The Script, R5, Hollywood Ending, The Vamps, Stray Kids, BTS, Astro, Tori Kelly, Celeste Buckingham, Sam Tsui, SURAN to name a few I guess
Song stuck in my head: the a love so beautiful theme song haskdfjsdf 
Last movie I saw: I think it’s A Silent Voice? I’ve been watching dramas but not movies... so yeah! A Silent Voice. 
Last thing I googled: “mental breakdown kpop meme” KLAJFLSDF 
Other blogs: o man i have so many: @starsforastro @hyyunjinn @shujosh @eriqsohn @wonpiloved @dongshancai and i have 2 hidden blogs and liek 3 inactive sideblogs and 3 personal blogs YIKES HAHHAHAKFSD 
Do I get asks: not on this account loooool 
Why I chose this username: it was just a youtube username I wanted but I just never changed to so this account got it (the “x” came from the old trend of like, adding it to every username, “cici” because it’s my name, and “chi” bc of the honorfic Yaya from Shugo Chara used for Amu and I thought it was cuTE OH MAN THIS WAS 14 YEAR OLD ME OKAY LMAO) 
Following: 809 because I’ve kept this ugly account since I made it in like, the summer of 2014
Amount of sleep I get: usually 7 hours but bc it’s summer, 9!! 
Lucky number: 11 even though my favorite number is 10 :// 
What I’m wearing: green basketball shorts and this faded green hoodie tank
Dream job: film director :// 
Dream trip: Just to travel and see architecture + culture--I don’t have specific places in mind. 
Favourite foods: just... good food HAH 
Instruments: very basic piano rip :D 
Favorite songs: I DON’T EVEN WANT TO TRY TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION OH MAN
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hyyunjinn · 7 years ago
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me as a content creator 
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hyyunjinn · 7 years ago
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when do you think they’ll let minho shine as the main dancer he is
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hyyunjinn · 6 years ago
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also before i wish ya'll a good night: i hope u nasty hate anons in this fandom think about your words and actions and how you're legit ruining not only the solid fandom that was built, but also some people's love and support for skz and what used to be a fun and loving environment.
GOOD NIGHT 💞
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hyyunjinn · 7 years ago
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HI I LOVE YOU SOSOSOOSOSOSOS MUCH
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hyyunjinn · 7 years ago
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he looks like the main lead in some youth romcom
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