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مخصوص مردانہ کمزوری کاعلاج، ہر مرد کی خواہش ہوتی ہے کہ وہ ایک صحت مند زندگی گزارے اور ایک بھر پور جوانی کے ساتھ اپنی زندگی کے بہترین لمحات کو گزار سکے لیکن یہ لمحات تب عذاب بن جاتے ہیں جب مرد کو مردانہ کمزوری کا سامنا ہو ۔مگر سوال یہ پیدا ہرتا ہے کہ مردانہ طاقت کو بڑھایا کیسے جائے،تو اس کے لیے آپ ایک بار (اوریجنل سیالس ٹائمنگ ٹیبلٹس) کا استعمال کریں۔

[gutsby]

Stiff

Pairing: Old!Joel x Reader

Summary: At fifty-nine, Joel isn’t sure his dick can keep up with every day it’s going to take to get you pregnant. He seeks help from Jackson’s local apothecary and gets more than bargained for when that little blue pill kicks in.

Or, your old man wants to knock you up. Viagra helps.

Warnings: 18+. Unprotected p-in-v (obviously 😵‍💫🤙🏼). Breeding kink. Age gap. Peepaw Joel. Blue Pill Joel. Post-apocalyptic-Viagra-dosage-gone-horribly-wrong-and-now-his-dick-won’t-deflate-for-a-day…but it’s OK!

Note: This is the crackfic counterpart/sequel to ‘Make It Stick’

Word count: 2.9k

Forty-five minutes.

Forty-five minutes until his fate was sealed for the night. His pulse would quicken. His head would start to swim, and any last sliver of rational thought would be lost to the ether or the cold, snowy air around him. Joel Miller had to hurry now, because that bite-sized blue pill he’d just taken was in his belly, and if his dick didn’t find its way in you, he was fucked. Or at least huge and swollen and leaking out beads of hot desire the size of golf balls.

Well, maybe that was just his cock.

Joel looked down, scanning his pants.

Yeah…definitely just cock. He walked faster.

At home, he knew he’d find you curled up on the couch, nose in a book. What to Expect When You’re Expecting, if he had to guess. Then, sure enough, you’d lift your eyes and smile—‘Thank goodness you’re back, daddy’—and lift the hem of your night dress just slightly. Spread your legs and beckon him in. It was a nightly routine by now.

You wanted to be knocked up as fast as possible, after all

At almost sixty years old, Joel couldn’t believe he was actually saying these words aloud. But here he was—crawling overtop you on the couch, situating himself between your legs, and pulling his cock out, mumbling:

“Gonna let me put a baby in you tonight?”

You nodded sweetly—eagerly—every time.

Joel knew he could never resist that look. He was as good as finished the first second you let him sink inside your tight, weeping hole, and when he stretched it, he could already tell this was all he would ever want to do. Make you happy, fill you up, give you lots and lots of him.

It was why he’d stopped by the apothecary tonight. Why he’d hesitated only a moment before clearing his throat and asking for a pill like Viagra—Joel knew that the man behind the counter would flash him a wry, knowing grin.

Trouble keepin’ up with that sweet young thing’a yours?

David was a dick.

He wasn’t entirely wrong, either.

Ever since agreeing to start trying for a baby, Joel had become acutely aware of his own physical limitations in that department, and one of them was stamina. He could scarcely fuck twice in the same night without needing a long and rest-intensive breather. You were young and could roll over ready to go in five minutes.

It wasn’t fair to deprive you now on account of his age.

If you wanted his cum, you were getting it, no question.

Not just once, but multiple times. Again and again and—

“Again,” Joel grunted once he’d shot off his last spurt.

Fifty-eight minutes had passed since he’d taken that pill. It had fully kicked in, and his dick was still hard, even after finishing inside you with a sticky, white-hot flood.

You blinked dreamily up at him.

“You mean it, old man?” you teased him lightly.

I’ll show you what I mean, Joel thought to himself before flipping you over on the sofa. He had your hips tilted up and his cock driving back inside your freshly-fucked cunt in no time at all. He felt his spend coating your walls; it let him glide right in. Joel groaned and jerked himself back out, then fucked back in again and again and again.

“Again?”

Your word was exhaled in a laugh.

You stood in front of the bathroom sink, trying to tidy up the insides of your legs and push some more of Joel’s load back in, when you felt a presence at your back.

Stabbing your ass.

You started to turn then, puzzled.

“Bend over,” Joel commanded before you could.

You did as you were told because, frankly, you loved getting fucked wherever your old man wanted it—even if he had broken the sink one time he’d pounded you here.

But there was palpable confusion, too. How in the hell had Joel Miller, certified silver fox and owner of a dick old enough to remember Woodstock and the moon landing, managed to get his dick hard in the five minutes since he’d had you face-down, ass-up on the couch?

Or had his dick gotten soft at all?

You wanted to question him about it, or else give a long, hard look at his uncharacteristically long, hard friend, when the next moment had you gripping the counter. Stretching between the legs as Joel pushed back in.

“There she is,” he murmured affectionately.

Really, you’d never been wetter. Or warmer. Or filled to the brim with more sticky-white spend than you could ever hope to hold inside, it felt like. You bent at the waist and let him have his fill. You closed your eyes and rested your head on your forearms while Joel’s hot, bulbous tip grazed your cervix with dizzying alacrity. A smile crept in.

Whatever this was, you wanted more of it.

His dick was still hard.

Four mind-numbing fucks and another forty-five minutes later, Joel’s cock hadn’t deflated the tiniest bit.

The thing had hammered you so thoroughly he’d nearly destroyed the sink again. You’d whimpered, and whined, and warned him quietly, ‘We just fixed the porcelain, baby,’ and right before he’d painted your walls with his seed, you’d cum for him practically shrieking. Shaking.

Letting him turn you around for a kiss, only to mumble against his mouth with a sleepy, cockdrunk sort of lilt:

“I think you gave me twins.”

Then he’d fucked you in the shower to make it triplets.

Now you were laying out on the bed, truly spent, eyes following him in the semi-darkness of your bedroom after you’d toweled off and collapsed among the pillows.

“What’s gotten into you tonight, Miller?” you breathed.

Joel made it over to the dresser, back turned to you. He rifled through a drawer looking for something extra tight.

“Just missed you is all,” he said, shrugging.

What he needed right now was fabric that was very thick to hide the boner he was sporting. Joel could tell from the way you spoke that you were too tired for round five, and he didn’t want you feeling like you had to go again.

He would be fine.

His dick might not deflate until dawn, but that was okay.

“Wish you missed me like this every day,” you giggled.

When Joel turned around, he was shocked to find you sprawled out on the bed—hands between your legs.

There was a shy smile on your face.

“Baby…” he trailed off, watching your fingers flit through that sticky mess where he’d left it. Where you glistened.

Where you slid your index and middle fingers up and down your slit and drew circles on your clit, eyes shining.

“What? I missed you too,” you said, tone all faux protest.

You had no idea what you did to him when you talked like that. Especially when he was drowning in a state like this.

Hard as a rock.

Throbbing.

Needy.

Scarcely even knowing what he was doing, Joel found himself over by the foot of the bed in a second. Watching your every move with a wild, wipe-open stare he still couldn’t believe you found appealing. He swallowed.

He not only looked perverted, but he felt it, too. It rarely ever left his mind, save for the four or five seconds he spent in ecstasy emptying the contents of his balls inside your cunt, that he was his age, and you were yours. That perhaps the rest of Jackson was right, and he was wrong: he had no business being around a girl like you, much less getting off inside you every night. Was this really what you wanted? A bewildering mixture of guilt, lust, and love all circulated through his skull at that moment, and the longer he spent looking at your fingers, ogling the way you teased them through his cum between your legs, the more he felt certain he was bad.

No one corrupted a thing this sweet and got to call themselves good, anyway, he thought to himself idly.

“I keep gettin’ that…feelin’,” you said under your breath.

Joel’s hand tightened in a fist, and it was then that he realized it was wrapped around his cock. Still watching.

“Yeah, baby? What feelin’?” he returned, almost as quiet.

Still stroking himself up and down, up and down, softly.

You had your legs spread open—knees splayed wider than they’d been before. And your eyes had a tender, placid sheen to them, like they just might cry if they didn’t get release of some kind soon. Then you slowed.

Your touch slipped from your clit to the opaque, sticky globs between your thighs, and that look got even softer.

More desperate.

“Can’t…explain it.” You shook your head, as if pained, and then you sank two fingers inside. Joel could hear the tiny schlick from where he stood, and it almost did him in.

You sucked in a breath and added, “It’s a special feelin’.”

Joel’s fist had already worked its way up to a ridiculous speed. Again, he sensed this might be the worst and most pathetic he’d ever looked, but by the glint in your eyes and the way you kept holding him there, he also knew you weren’t asking him to stop, either. You were needing something else—something he could provide.

Thanks to that one stupid pill.

Joel’s smile was strained as he gripped the edge of the bed, like he was trying to assuage you and him at once.

“Try me, baby. Tell me ‘bout that special feelin’.”

Your middle and ring fingers disappeared inside you.

You whined, “Ain’t fair to say it now. You’re tired, daddy.”

Like hell he was. Joel crawled over the footboard and made his way straight to you, where your body was limp.

His breaths were coming in so fast and his pulse was thrumming so hard that he almost couldn’t hear himself talking. But he ventured to speak as gently as he could.

“I’m wide awake, sweet pea. I’m all ears. Talk to me.”

And if his words didn’t communicate as much, surely the look in his eyes would’ve told you all the rest. Quietly, he slipped his torso between your legs, where you’d inserted a third finger and were moving your hips again. You were fingering yourself, breathing shallow and quick.

“It’s a feelin’ like I wanna be…stuffed…a-and full’a you.”

Joel’s whole body could’ve liquified on the spot. His brain, presently, had all the consistency of a plate of scrambled eggs if he’d had to guess. Feeling his cock swell even bigger and his hips sink lower to yours of their own accord, he had only to grit his teeth and nod his head. He felt the tip of him bump your fingers, and the sensation and the expectation nearly drove him insane.

He mumbled quietly, “Then move your hand.”

You did. You winced again. You looked as though you might be ashamed for wanting him to fill you with his spend, and Joel simply wouldn’t allow that any longer.

Without saying another word, he slid back in.

Your cum and his facilitated the slide, and you opened right up for him. You whimpered, while Joel grunted like an animal. He couldn’t help it; it all felt so fucking primal.

How you could ever feel the need to apologize for wanting more of this was more than he could take.

“Every inch of me,” Joel said, rutting deeper, “is yours.”

He withdrew to the tip, and he could feel strings of arousal linking him to you in a sickeningly sweet way.

You could scarcely even nod, just waiting for him again.

When Joel plunged back in, he heard a feral little cry, and he felt your legs wrap around his waist. He went faster. You fisted the pillow behind your head in one hand, while the other laid flat on his chest, like you were checking for a heartbeat. You could probably hear it thudding a million miles per minute right now. Your hips collided in tandem.

“D— Daddy,” you whimpered.

“That’s it, open up for daddy. Good girl. It’s all yours.”

The sounds his thrusts were making were obscene.

“Every inch?” you breathed, “E-Every drop, too?”

“Every fiber of my fucking being, sweet girl.”

That made you smile, at length. Your hand slid from his chest, down his round belly, straight to a groin that was pounding hard and fast against your own. Joel groaned when he felt your touch sweep inside your legs—right in the space where his cum had come trickling out. You slid your fingers through that mess, then whimpered again.

Then you brought your hand up to your mouth.

You wrapped your lips around your cum-soaked fingers like they were the single sweetest thing, and you sucked.

Joel had no say after seeing that: he had to cum again.

It likely stunned you both—you more than him, by the look that crossed your eyes the second you felt him throb and pulse inside your cunt—but then it kept going.

Rather than stop, or slow down in the slightest, Joel found his hips pistoning faster than they had before. The whole bed frame shook, and your body trembled with every thrust, and the noises between your legs grew even louder; the sound of skin slapping skin was only amplified by the addition of Joel’s hot load in the mix.

The man was operating on impulse. You, through sheer awe and an animalistic need to have every crevice filled. You held him and you grit your teeth, and you let him keep using your body, while you used his. You kissed him.

“Go on, then—make me a daddy. Take my cum, baby,” Joel babbled, brainless, “Make your old man a daddy.”

He couldn’t tell if it were the words or the rhythm or the pleasure that had already been blossoming deep in your gut this whole time, but he felt you fall apart. You wrapped your legs tighter around his waist than you had all night, and you screamed his name. Begged for more.

“Cum in me, daddy—pleasepleaseplease just cum, ju—”

And there he went. Again. Flooding your insides with his warmth and letting his cock carve a wild, relentless path through your cunt like it was all the man knew how to do. He filled you up. He felt it leaking down his length with every stab of his hips, and frankly, he didn’t care what he looked like now. You were smiling big, drawing him in for more kisses as he panted and grunted and whimpered like he never had before. He kissed back. Slowed down.

Found himself lost in your mouth as your tongue wove delectably through his own and your hands made their way to his wild, greying hair. You tugged, and he moaned.

He fucked his spend deeper without even meaning to.

All instinct again, it seemed he couldn’t get enough.

Suddenly, he felt a new, strange urge bubble up.

“I-I-I took a pill tonight,” he blurted out, “Know how badly you want this baby, and I wanna give you one.”

Or two. Or twenty. He was barely capable of speech, let alone rational cognition, so he just spoke whatever came to his mind then, still snug inside your legs and panting.

“A pill?” you whispered back.

Joel’s gaze locked with yours.

He felt stupid for it all at once.

“Yeah. Yeah, I just— I know I’m gettin’ on in years, and I probably can’t fuck the way I used to. And you deserve someone who can…Maybe a guy your age, but that—”

“—is the single dumbest thing you have ever said to me,” you finished for him, eyes narrowing swiftly in a scowl.

When Joel tried talking again, you cut him off.

“I don’t care what any guy my age is doing, or could do. I want babies with you, and that includes every part, OK?”

Your look softened momentarily, seeing his lips twitch down—you could probably see he wasn’t believing you.

Then you cradled his face in your palms. You smiled. You brushed his nose with yours, and you kissed him again, and with what little strength you likely had left in your body, you dug your heels in his ass and pulled him deeper. Both of you let out soft, low grunts at the effort.

“If you fucked like this at twenty-five, my body wouldn’t have survived anyway,” you whispered in reassurance. Biting back a laugh as Joel smiled, too, “I like things just the way they are. Just like how I hope you like me, too.”

“No—I love you.” Joel shook his head, almost plaintive.

And for the first time that night, he felt himself soften.

Whether it was the pill wearing off or that first thread of vulnerability stretching out between your body and his, he didn’t really care. He kissed the tip of your nose and was about to say something more, when you cut back in.

“I love you more. And since we’re being honest tonight,” you started quietly, nipping at your bottom lip a second, “I might…need you back at the apothecary tomorrow.”

Joel’s face fell.

“Wh— is something wrong, baby?” His voice was tight.

He hated seeing David, but, of course, he’d go back there in a heartbeat if it meant getting you the medication you needed. His stomach was starting to churn, when you reached up to hold his face again. You shook your head.

“No, no, Joel, I’m fine. But I may need prenatal vitamins.”

Now his eyes were going wide. His cheeks heated under your palms, and his cock twitched inside you, reflexively.

“You mean…” he murmured, unable to finish. Swallowing.

Beneath him, he saw you smile and nod.

He nearly choked hearing what followed:

“I meant to tell you earlier, but…my period’s a little late.”

[oblivionmads18]

RakMut 40+ years in the future:

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[healthlineonline]

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[lighthousenewsnetwork]

The Supreme Court, in a 7-2 decision, has banned the drug Cialis which, as one of the justices in the majority wrote, “Basically makes horny old men into incessant boneheads.” “Women,” noted Supreme Court Justice Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (one of seven female justices on the court), “just need a break, once they hit their eighties.” The decision arose from a lower state court case in which a very tired, old woman (the plaintiff, 82) claimed that the popular drug caused her husband to be afflicted with Priapism, a condition causing an erection that could last for hours. The condition, she maintained, was not only injurious to her husband, but was exhausting for her, too. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, at 90, wrote in his minority opinion, “This is atrocious! Along with Big Pharma billionaire Eli Musket, my wife Ginny lobbied against this Bill from the beginning! (But I don’t know anything about that, of course.) However, from a personal view of view, both Ginny and I feel a real loss of sexual autonomy, now that this ban is law.” Added Justice Thomas, “Why, this is a modern-day lynching of Big Pharma!” (At which point an aide led the enfeebled, drooling old man back to his chambers.) Samuel Alito, in a dissenting opinion, said, “Removing this drug from the market will deny men, in old age, the one real pleasure some of them are still capable of enjoying. This is contra naturam, against the very law of God.” (Adjacent Press, June 24, 2040) https://lighthousenewsnetwork.com/supreme-court-bans-cialis-in-a-7-2-decision/?feed_id=8737&_unique_id=6744bc0e4c02d

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Performance Anxiety and Erectile Dysfunction: Breaking the Cycle

For many individuals, sexual intimacy represents a cornerstone of emotional connection and physical pleasure. However, the experience can be overshadowed by performance anxiety and erectile dysfunction (ED), creating a cycle of stress and frustration. 

This blog post aims to empower individuals struggling with these challenges by exploring the potential connection, dispelling misconceptions, and outlining promising treatment options. By understanding the intricate relationship between mind and body and navigating available resources, individuals can learn to manage anxiety and rediscover sexual fulfillment.

Understanding the Link: How Anxiety Impacts Erections

Performance anxiety, characterized by excessive and persistent worry about sexual performance, can have a significant impact on sexual functioning. Stress triggers the release of certain stress hormones like cortisol, which potentially interferes with the complex physiological processes that are required for an erection. This interference happens because mental stress triggers the release of these hormones.

Physical effects: Blood flow to the penis can be reduced by stress hormones, which constrict blood vessels. This can cause difficulty in achieving or maintaining an erection. Additionally, anxiety can disrupt neurotransmitter pathways involved in arousal and pleasure, further hindering sexual response.

Psychological impact: Performance anxiety can fuel negative self-talk, shame, and fear of failure, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy where worry itself contributes to the very outcome feared. This cycle can erode confidence and lead to avoidance of sexual intimacy, ultimately impacting relationships and self-esteem.

It's important to note that while anxiety contributes to ED in many cases, it's not always the sole culprit. Medical conditions that exist underneath, imbalances in hormones, and specific medications can all contribute to the situation. Seeking professional evaluation is crucial to rule out any physical causes and receive a comprehensive diagnosis.

Busting the Myths: Common Misconceptions about ED

Myth: ED only affects older men. 

Fact: While the prevalence increases with age, ED can occur at any stage of life due to various physical and psychological factors.

Myth: Medication is the only solution. 

Fact: While medication can be helpful in some cases, a personalized approach encompassing therapy, lifestyle changes, and stress management techniques often shows promising results.

Myth: Talking about ED is embarrassing. 

Fact: ED is a common issue affecting millions of men worldwide. Open communication with a healthcare professional and/or partner can pave the way for effective treatment and improved intimacy.

Breaking Free: Treatment Options for Anxiety and ED

The good news is that both performance anxiety and ED are highly treatable, allowing individuals to reclaim their sexual well-being. Here are some key approaches:

Psychological Therapies:

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Identifying and modifying negative thought patterns is a crucial aspect of CBT, which can also aid in developing coping mechanisms for managing anxiety during sexual encounters.

Couples Therapy: Addressing relationship dynamics and building communication skills can significantly reduce performance anxiety and enhance intimacy.

Mindfulness-Based Interventions: Practices such as mindfulness and controlled breathing can help individuals relax and concentrate on the present, thus alleviating performance stress and improving responsiveness.

2. Lifestyle Changes:

Regular Exercise: Physical activity improves blood flow, reduces stress hormones, and boosts overall well-being, all contributing to healthy sexual function.

Healthy Diet: Consuming a diet that is well-balanced and includes plenty of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains can be beneficial for supporting both blood circulation and hormonal balance, both of which are crucial for maintaining proper erectile function.

Stress Management: Implementing practices like yoga, meditation, or spending time in nature can effectively combat stress and promote relaxation, both inside and outside the bedroom.

3. Medical Treatments:

Medication: Depending on the individual and underlying cause, medications like phosphodiesterase-5 inhibitors (e.g., Viagra, tadalafil cialis tablet) can improve blood flow and facilitate erections.

Tadarise Pro 40mg Tadalafil Tablets are a widely prescribed solution for Erectile Dysfunction (ED) in men. Containing 40mg of Tadalafil, a potent PDE-5 inhibitor, these tablets enhance blood flow to the penile area by relaxing muscles in penile blood vessels. This mechanism promotes sexual stimulation, aiding in the achievement of rock-hard erections. 

For the best outcome, having an intimate atmosphere is crucial while using Cialis Tadalafil 40mg tablets. This highlights the significance of sexual arousal as a catalyst for their effectiveness.

Is it safe to take 40mg of Tadalafil? The recommended daily use of Tadalafil is 40mg, and it's generally considered safe when taken as advised. However, caution should be exercised to prevent overdose. In case of an accidental overdose, immediate medical attention is imperative. 

It is important to keep in mind that the medication should be taken half an hour to an hour prior to getting sexually intimate in order to achieve optimal results. Users are advised to adhere to this guideline to ensure the best outcomes.

Overall, Tadalafil Tablets offer a reliable solution for managing ED, but responsible usage is paramount for optimal results and safety.

Hormone Replacement Therapy: If hormonal imbalances contribute to ED, hormone replacement therapy may be considered.

It's crucial to remember that finding the proper treatment approach often requires a collaborative effort between the individual, their healthcare provider, and potentially a therapist. Open communication and honest discussions are crucial to identifying the most effective course of action.

Beyond the Physical: Addressing Emotional Well-being

While treating the physical aspects of ED is crucial, addressing the emotional impact is equally important. 

Self-compassion: Replacing self-criticism with understanding and acceptance can significantly reduce shame and anxiety surrounding sexual encounters.

Healthy communication: Open and honest communication with a partner can build trust, reduce performance pressure, and foster emotional intimacy.

Seeking support: Having a conversation with a therapist can create a secure environment for delving into the root of emotional problems and cultivating effective coping techniques for handling anxiety.

Individuals who are experiencing performance anxiety and ED can take charge and seek professional assistance to overcome their condition and restore a satisfying sexual life. It's important to note that you are not alone in this journey, and effective treatment options and support are available to you.

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مخصوص مردانہ کمزوری کاعلاج، ہر مرد کی خواہش ہوتی ہے کہ وہ ایک صحت مند زندگی گزارے اور ایک بھر پور جوانی کے ساتھ اپنی زندگی کے بہترین لمحات کو گزار سکے لیکن یہ لمحات تب عذاب بن جاتے ہیں جب مرد کو مردانہ کمزوری کا سامنا ہو ۔مگر سوال یہ پیدا ہرتا ہے کہ مردانہ طاقت کو بڑھایا کیسے جائے،تو اس کے لیے آپ ایک بار (اوریجنل سیالس ٹائمنگ ٹیبلٹس) کا استعمال کریں۔

[qveerthe0ry]

Misfire

Summary: Dieter gets waxed for a role and gets a little too excited. Word Count: 966 Pairing: Dieter Bravo x GN! Reader Rating: 18+ Explicit Warnings: 18+ mdni, dubious consent, body hair waxing, pain kink, humiliation kink (kinda), subby!Dieter, ruined orgasm, coming untouched, hands-free orgasm, reader does not engage in sex acts, mentions of alcohol, mentions of drug use, accidental exhibitionism, accidental voyeurism Note: I'm hoping this will be part of a long series of one-shots where I write Dieter as a pathetic little subby, desperate, whimpering mess. As of right now I don't have any big plans for what to write next, but I'm always down for suggestions ;) - Also, I had a hard time with the warnings on this one, don't hesitate to let me know if I missed something that needs tagged.

Dieter Bravo does not feel shame.

His entire schtick is doing whatever the fuck he wants, unapologetically. He hasn’t batted an eye at a tabloid headline in decades. 

But now… Now he feels like a fool. He’s gone and landed himself a really stupid part in a low-budget film about a bunch of old guys on an Olympic diving team. 

Which, first of all, ouch. He knows he has some years under his belt, but he wasn’t ready to be typecast into old guy roles this early on. 

But second of all, ouch again, because he’s gotta get a full body wax for this dud of a movie that’s inevitably going to sink anyway. 

And not ouch in a bad way, per se. But ouch as in he’s kind of really into the sting, and he’s ass naked on this cold table covered in paper, hard as a rock. 

Which was fine when he was turned onto his stomach. He was able to squish his cock in a not-so-pleasant way to stave off the desperation. 

But now you’re telling him to flip over, and he doesn’t want to move. Any other time he’d be dying to get his cock out and swing it around. But you’re just trying to do your job, and here he is, leaking onto your poor little waxing table, soiling it.

With a heaved sigh, he rolls onto his back, clambering all awkward on the small space. You’re turned away from him, preparing the next glob of hot wax, and his cock throbs. 

“I’m sorry,” he says, quiet and shameful, and you barely hear him.

“What’s that?”

Dieter can’t say it again. He just grumbles and covers his eyes with his arm as you fiddle with your waxing supplies and glance at him.

“Oh. It’s fine, happens all the time. I’ve seen worse.” 

That at least gets him to huff out a laugh. You sound unbothered, and it eases him a bit. 

“I’d hate to see worse,” he tries to joke.

You just hum in response. 

You start on his chest, though there’s not much to wax there. His armpits are ticklish, which makes him even harder. His cock bobs in the air, angry and red and neglected. He’s afraid to move, he’s afraid to breathe, he’s such a hair trigger. 

He starts thinking about all the directors he hates. He goes down the line, from his earliest project he can remember, and he’s about halfway through when you finally finish his shins and knees but it doesn’t help.

Your hand taps the inside of his thigh, prompting him to spread and bend, and the movement sends his cock lolling onto his stomach. It makes him jolt and suck in a deep breath. He can tell you’re trying to ignore it. He wishes he could. 

And fuck, he hasn’t gotten off in like, a week and a half, caught up between traveling and getting whiskey dick at that party and leaving his Cialis at his friends with benefits’ apartment. 

He jolts every time you wax the sensitive skin on the inside of his thighs. And every time he jolts, his cockhead rubs against his now smooth stomach. His dick is drooling. 

When you get to the well groomed, thank you very much hair at the base of his dick, you have to wipe away the obscene amount of pre-cum that’s pooled there. 

“Sorry,” he breathes again. 

“It’s okay,” you tell him, swiping the taut skin. 

It tugs on his dick. He whimpers. 

His knuckles are white now, gripping the edge of the table so hard he’s sure there will be permanent nail marks on the pleather. He’s biting his bottom lip, a metallic taste blooms inside his mouth. 

He’s lightheaded, between holding his breath and the fact that all his blood is in his dick, and his vision starts to tunnel a bit. Those tell-tale, fuzzy stars begin dancing around in the edges of his vision but promptly disappear when you grab his dick. 

The sound he makes is pitiful, a pathetic plea to his own body to stop betraying him. 

He chances a look down to see what you’re doing. One of your gloved hands holds his dick with just your thumb and forefinger, as professional as can be, while you spread wax across the wiry hairs just above it. 

He’s on the edge, his cock is jerking and pulsing between your two fingers, and if he can just make it past these next few minutes he can spill into his own hand as soon as you leave the room to let him dress. 

If only. 

You rip the wax from his skin, and it tugs on his cock and it hurts and it feels so fucking good. The pleasure shoots down his spine and he cries out a pathetic little whine. He’s barely able to push your hand away in time, breathing out an apology just as his prick jumps and releases a long, thick rope of cum. 

“I’m so sorry, fuck, s-sorry,” he pants. 

Tears prickle behind his eyeballs as he just keeps coming. There’s so much it’s almost comical, spraying the tender, reddened skin of his chest and belly.  You’re just staring too, completely emotionless, waiting for it to end so you can complete your job. 

Dieter whimpers again, biting his fist as he watches the last of his release dribble down his traitorous cock, then squeezes his eyes shut. A tear slips free, and he lets out a shuddering breath. This is the worst orgasm of his entire life, and that includes all the times he couldn’t help but rub one out with a UTI. 

You clear your throat, and you’re handing him a box of tissues. 

“I’ll let you clean yourself, then I’ll finish up.” 

He hears your impatient sigh as you leave the room.  Apparently Dieter Bravo can feel shame.

[earhartsease]

someone close to us who shall remain nameless ordered some grey market testosterone because their GP was dicking them about (resolved now)

it recently arrived and you know how when you buy stuff off etsy it often comes with whimsical extras like sticky stars or gummies?

well this came with free estrogen suppressants and viagra and cialis - and we're speculating that it's maybe a starter pack for people doing steroids or something because wtf

and we were like if they were doing this specifically for transmascs they'd include finasteride or minoxidil instead of viagra

[healthlineonline]

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[boringkate]

Hey I've been questioning my gender recently (I'm amab but use they/them pronouns) and I was thinking about transitioning but I have a big hard cock that I don't want to lose, what do?

Cialis.

[fuck-customers]

Throwback to working at an Adult store.

There was a big big storm. Like shut down the entire state storm. It was a really bad thunder and wind storm. CT doesn't get these often but when we do... oh they're rough because of all the trees and power lines.

I was working in the area that happened to get hit the hardest. A tree ended up pulling down a bunch of main lines and a huge transformer that exploded and caught the actual asphalt in the street on fire. Didn't know that could happen till I watched it. I can still smell it.

The emergency services shut down the street completely. We had no power of course. So we closed and when the people came to tell us to evacuate due to explosions we got ready to go.

This customer though. Somehow drove through all the wires and fires and emergency trucks, and demanded he come in to buy some boner pills.

BRUH????

I looked at him like what the fuck. I was like dude we're closed and gestured to the literal fire in the street and pointed out that we have to evacuate.

One group of the emergency people who had told us to evacuate were walking by and heard this guy start to argue with me. They came up and this big dude in that group was like "are you stupid? Did you not hear the warnings and see the power lines? Go home dude!"

Somehow that finally got it into the dudes head.

Like bro you had to have driven over active power lines in order to get here. I saw that you had to park 2 lots away and walk over bc the fires in the street were blocking our entrance. The entire street is blacked out without power.

Context clues??

Also how tf are you still alive of you don't know enough to check your surroundings for safety? Stay away from power lines?

The dude finally left after being told off. My co worker and I cracked up after we shut the door on him. Like bro its not that serious.

When the store was shut down as much as it could be without power, and it was time to leave, the emergency people directed us to drive over the grass and sidewalk to safely get out. That was kinda fun lol

3 years ish later, the asphalt on that street is still burned black from the fires. Trees still have visible damage but are growing back.

But bruh? I guarantee your off brand cialis is not as important as your safety.

Side note, when I got home the parking spot i was assigned was taken by a huge pine tree that had fallen over 3 spaces, taking out a little blue car. If I was home my car would have been crushed. I'm lucky I didn't get any major damage. Just lost a mini greenhouse and some plants.

It took months to get everything cleaned up though across the state.

Posted by admin Rodney.

[layce2015]

Supernatural (Dean Winchester x Female!Reader)

Jus in Bello

Masterlist

Sam and I rush into the bedroom then Dean follows and shuts the door. We began to search the room, Dean checks the drawers, Sam checks the safe and I check the closet. "Any sign of it?" Dean asked us. "Nothing." Sam said as I shake my head. "Are you sure this is Bela's room?" I asked him then he holds up two wigs and shows them to us. "I'd say so." Dean said.

Suddenly the phone rings and the three of us share a look. Dean walks to the phone and looks at Sam who shakes his head. Dean picks up the phone and answers it cautiously there was a pause and Dean's face, harden. "Where are you?" He asked and I knew that it had to be Bela.

"Where?" he asked, angrily. "I want it back, Bela…now." He growls and Sam and I  share a glance before watching Dean again. "You understand how many people are gonna die if you do this? Take the only weapon we have against an army of demons and sell it to the highest bidder." he said. "I know I'm gonna stop you." He mutters then he smirks a bit. "Oh, I'll find you, sweetheart. You know why? Because I have absolutely nothing better to do than to track you down." He said but then he gives me and Sam a look of worry.

Suddenly police officers burst into the room and point guns at us, we raise our hands above our heads. "Hands in the air! Down on your knees." The officers orders us and I roll my eyes at this. "That bitch!" I growled. "Turn around! Now!" One of the officers ordered before they force us to lie down on the floor.

"Sam and Dean Winchester and (y/n) (l/n), you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney and have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a Lawyer, one will be appointed for you at government expense." The officer said as we saw feet coming at us. We look up to see an FBI Agent standing over us with a smirk.

This had to be Henriksen the FBI agent that had been chasing after us and who I was able to avoid until now.

"Hi guys…It's been a while." he said to the boys then he looks at me. "And the elusive (y/n). Not as good as you thought." He said then the boys and I share a look before Dean closes his eyes and lays his head on the floor.

Shackled together, Dean, Sam and I were lead into the police station, two officers were standing by as our guards. We enter the main room and see Henriksen, the Sheriff and the secretary. "Why all the sourpusses?" Dean asked, in a joking manner, before he smiles. I look at the name plate on the secretary's desk, which reads NANCY FITZGERALD, Secretary. She looked at us, afraid, before she grabs her rosary. "I'll show you to the cells." One of the officers said and he grabs Dean's arm.

"Hey! Hey! Watch the merchandise!" Dean yells as I noticed Nancy was watching us, scared. 'We're not the ones you should be scared of, Nancy." I tell her just as we were lead to the cell. 

Moments later, we were brought to the cell and the police left us alone. Dean heads for the bed and Sam to the door which then started to pull my legs as I was chained in the middle, Dean on my left and Sam on my right. They both almost fall because of the chain and I yelped in pain from the pull of the chains on my legs.

"Boys, come on!" I growled, annoyed. "All right, all right." Dean said then he gets up and looks at the bed behind us. "Sit?" he asked us after Sam gets up. "Yeah." Sam and I said and we awkwardly sit on the bed. "How we gonna Houdini out of this one?" Dean asked us. "Good question." Sam said as I look around the cell, like this place could provide an answer.

Later, we hear footsteps and see that Henriksen had walked up to the cell and stares at us. "You know what I'm trying to decide?" he asked us and Sam turns away from him and Dean rolls his eyes. "I don't know. What? Whether Cialis will help you with your little condition?" I asked, snarkily, and Dean chuckles a bit.

"What to have for dinner tonight. Steak or lobster, what the hell, surf and turf." Henriksen said and Dean smirks, cynically. "I got a lot to celebrate. I mean, after all, seeing you three in chains…" he said and Dean looks up at him. "You kinky son of a bitch. We don't swing that way. And I'm spoken for." Dean said as he nods his head towards me then Henriksen chuckles. "Now, that's funny. And how sweet, the modern day Bonnie and Clyde." he said.

"You know, I wouldn't bust out the melted butter just yet. Couldn't catch us at the bank, couldn't keep us in that jail." Dean said and I nod. "Plus, I've avoided you this long." I added and Henriksen nods. "You're right. Screwed up. I underestimated you. I didn't count on you being that smart but now I'm ready." He said.

"Yeah, ready to lose us again?" Dean asked. "Ready like a court order to keep you in a Supermaximum prison in Nevada till trial. Ready like isolation in a soundproof, windowless cell, so that between you and me…probably unconstitutional." Henriksen said and the boys and I share a worried look, realizing Henriksen is serious.

"How's that for ready?" Henriksen asked, smugly, but Dean doesn't say anything, neither do Sam and I. "Take a good look at Sam and (y/n); you three will never see each other again." he said as the boys and I look at Henriksen, disconcerted.

"Where's that smug smile, Dean? I want to see it." Henriksen said and Dean shakes his head, disbelief. "You got the wrong guys." Dean tells him. "Oh, yeah. I forgot. You fight monsters. Sorry, Dean. Truth is, your daddy and Mr (l/n) brainwashed you three with all that devil talk and no doubt touched you guys in a bad place. That's all, that's reality." Henriksen said and I turn my head towards him and glared at him.

"Why don't you shut your mouth?" I growled at him, angrily. "Well, guess what. Life sucks. Get a helmet. ‘Cause everybody's got a sob story. But not everybody becomes a killer." Henriksen said when we hear the sound of a helicopter approaching. "And now I have three less to worry about." Henriksen said then he looks at his watch and smiles.

"It's surf and turf time." He laughs and Sam, Dean and I watch Henriksen leave. Dean smiles cynically while I just feel stressed out and tapped my foot a bit.

Minutes later, a man in a suit enters the cell area and closes the main door to the office area. Dean stands up and looks at the man as he walks up to our cells. "Sam and Dean Winchester and (y/n) (l/n). I'm Deputy Director Steven Groves. This is a pleasure." He introduced as Sam and I go to stand up as well.

"Well, glad one of us feels that way." Dean grumbles. "I've been waiting a long time for you two to come out of the woodwork." Steven said then, suddenly, points his gun and shoots Dean in his left shoulder. "Dean!" I exclaimed as Dean's blood sprays to the wall. Dean grunts and falls back, while Sam jumps up and grapples with Steven through the bars.

Dean falls on the bed and I go to his aid as Steven fires several more shots, narrowly missing us. I turn my head and see that Steven's eyes had turn black and Sam begins an exorcism in Latin, which causes Steven's head to whip from side to side. "Sorry. Got to cut this short. It's gonna be a long night, kiddos." He said and black smoke leaves Steven's body as Dean sits up, clutching his shoulder.

Then the black smoke disappears into the ceiling air vent and Steven falls to the ground. Seconds later, Henriksen and the other officers rush in and noticed that Sam had Steven's gun. "Put the gun down!" One of them ordered as they aim their gun at Sam. "Wait. Okay. Wait." Sam said. "He shot him!" Another officer said.

"I didn't shoot him. I didn't shoot anyone." Sam shouts. "He shot me!" Dean shouts. "It's true!" I shouted but Henriksen said. "Get on your knees."

"Okay, okay, okay. Don't shoot. Please. Look. Here. Here." Sam said and he passes the gun through the bars. "We didn't shoot him. Check the body. There's no blood. We did not kill him." I said and the officers just look at each other. "Go ahead, check him." Sam said and one of the officers, Reidy I believe his badge said, checks Steven's body.

"Vic, there's no bullet wound." Reidy said. "He's probably been dead for months." Dean informs. "What did you do to him?" Henriksen asked. "We didn't do anything." Dean yells at him. "Talk or I shoot." Henriksen orders as he holds his gun at us. "You won't believe us." I said to him but Sam speaks up.

"He was possessed." Sam replied. "Possessed? Right. Fire up the chopper! We're taking them out of here now." Henriksen said, obviously annoyed. "Yeah! Do that!" Dean shouts and Reidy pulls out his walkie talkie. "Bill? Bill, are you there?" He calls but there's no answer from the walkie. Henriksen nods to Reidy to check outside.

The two other policemen continued to point their guns at us until we heard a loud explosion moments later. Then Henriksen pulls out his walkie and said. "What the hell was that? Reidy? Reidy?!" He calls out but no answer. "What the hell was that? Come in? Reidy? Reidy?" He yells but nothing and he and the others leave the cell.

The boys and I share a look before we just sit and wait for anything else. That is until the lights go out and we stand up.

"That can't be good." Dean said and I shake my head.

Later, Sam and I were helping with Dean's wound while he grunts. "All right, don't be such a wuss." I commented. "I'll remember that when you get shot in the shoulder." Dean said with a snark when we heard footsteps coming. We look up to see Henriksen coming in.

"What's the plan? Kill everyone in the station, bust you three out?" he asked us. "What the hell are you talking about?" I asked him. "I'm talking about your psycho friends. I'm talking about the blood bath." Henriksen yells. "Okay, I promise you whoever's out there is not here to help us." Dean said. 

"Look, you got to believe us. Everyone here is in terrible danger." Sam said. "You think?" Henriksen asked, sarcastically. "Why don't you let us out of here so we can save your asses?" I asked him. "From what? You gonna say demons?" He asked then he raises his gun, pointed at the ceiling, for emphasis. "Don't you dare say demons. Let me tell you something. You should be a lot more scared of me." Henriksen growls, threatening, then he leaves.

"How's the shoulder?" Sam asked Dean as he takes away a pad of toilet paper with a large blood stain on it. "It's awesome." he said, with sarcasm, then tosses away the pad. "I'll live. You know, if we get out of here alive. So you guys got a plan?" Dean said to us just as Sam checks Dean's exit wound on the back of his shoulder. Dean grimaces in pain then he looks over my shoulder. 

"Hey." He whispers as he nods forward and Sam looks up and I turn to see Nancy was by the corner. "Hey…" Sam said and Nancy backs off, scared. "Uh, please, please. We need your help. It's…it's Nancy. Nancy, right?" Sam asked her, calmly, but she just looks at Sam.

"Nancy, my…my brother's been shot. He's…He's bleeding really bad. You think maybe you could get us a towel? Please? Just one clean towel?" He asked and she looked unsure and still a bit afraid. "Look, look at us. We're not the bad guys. I swear." Sam said and Dean and I give Nancy a smile and she leaves us. Sam sighs as I patted his shoulder. "Nice try." Dean said.

Sam sighs again, then we turn around and see that Nancy had come back with a clean towel. "Thank you." Sam said and Nancy comes closer to the boys, carefully. "It's okay." Sam said as he holds out his handcuffed hands. Nancy puts the towel inside the bars and she gives a smile to him.

Suddenly Sam grabs Nancy's arm and drags her against the bars, making her scream. One of the officers runs in with his rifle. "Let her go! Let her go!" He shouts and Sam lets Nancy go and she backs away, scared. "You're okay, Nance?" The officer asked as he points his rifle at Sam. She backs away terrified and the officer looks back at Sam.

"Try something again, get shot. And not in the arm." he threatens. "Okay." Sam said and the two walk away. After they leave, I hit Sam in the arm. "What the hell was that?" I asked him then Sam holds up Nancy's rosary to us.

Dean was pressing the towel to his wound as we sit on the bed again. "We're like sitting ducks in here." Sam states. "Yeah, I know." said Dean. "No kidding." I grumbled then Dean sighs. "Would it kill these cops to bring us a snack?!" He shouts the last words.

"How many you figure are out there, guys?" Sam asked us. "I don't know." Dean replied. "However many they are, they could be possessing anyone. Anyone could just walk right in." I said. "It's kind of wild, right? I mean it's like they're coming for us. They've never done that before." Dean said before he smiles. "It's like we got a contract on us. Think it's because we're so awesome? I think it's ‘cause we're so awesome." He said as he smiles again, but stops smiling after Sam and I look at him, unamused.

But then the sheriff comes in and unlocks our cell. "Well, howdy, there, Sheriff." Dean greets as we stand up while the Sheriff opens the cell door. "Uh, Sheriff?" I asked him as he had his head down. "It's time to go." He said but we step back as he comes into the cell.

"Uh…you know what? We're just comfy right here. But thank you." Dean said as Henriksen appears at the door of the cell. "What do you think you're doing?" He asked the Sheriff. "We're not just gonna sit around here and wait to die. We're gonna make a run for it." said the Sheriff. "It's safer here." Henriksen said, firmly.

"There's a SWAT facility in Boulder." the Sheriff informs as Henriksen comes inside the cell. "We're not going anywhere." he growls. "The hell we're not." the Sheriff said before Henriksen shots him in the head.

We grapple with Henriksen and Sam and I push Henriksen's head into the toilet and Sam begins an exorcism. Footsteps were heard and I turn my head just as the last officer runs around the corner with his rifle. Dean points Henriksen's gun at him. "Stay back!" Dean yells as Henriksen lifts his head up out of the water, his face is burning.

I shove him back into the toilet bowl, where Nancy's rosary is floating, as Sam continues the exorcism. "Hurry up!" Dean yells to Sam as Henriksen lifts his head again, his eyes black. "It's too late. I already called them. They're already coming." He said and I shove him back into the water then Sam finishes the exorcism.

Henriksen screams as black smoke shoots out of his mouth and up to the air vent in the ceiling. Henriksen falls to the floor as Sam breathes heavily. "Is he… is he dead?" Nancy asked but then Henriksen regains consciousness and coughs. "Henriksen! Hey. Is that you in there?" Sam asked and after a few moments, Henriksen gets up and sits on the bed.

"I…I shot the Sheriff." he said in disbelief, then I close my eyes for a moment. "Don't say it, don't say it." I muttered under my breath before Dean says. "But you didn't shoot the Deputy."

I sighed with exasperation before I elbow Dean in his side as Sam stares at him in disbelief. "Five minutes ago, I was fine, and then…" Henriksen said, still shocked at what happened. "Let me guess. Some nasty black smoke jammed itself down your throat?" Dean asked him and he looks up at Dean, wide-eyed. "You were possessed." Sam tells him.

"Possessed like…possessed." Henriksen said and I nod. "That's what it feels like. Now you know." I said. "I owe the biggest I told you so ever." Dean said but he gives Henriksen back his gun. Henriksen takes the gun, stares at us for a few seconds then said. "Officer Amici. Keys..."

Amici gives Henriksen the keys and he unlocks us from our chains as they fall to the floor. "All right, so how do we survive?" Henriksen asked us and the boys and I share a look before start to tell them what we have to do.

Sam and I had been drawing devil's traps on the floor with spray paint while the others line the windows with salt. Dean had gone out to his car to get the weapons but minutes later Dean comes in and shouts. "They're coming! Hurry." He shouts and black smoke hits a window and Nancy screams. Nancy, Sam, Dean and I run to the main office area, where Henriksen is. Dean tosses a couple of guns to me and Sam.

We see the smoke surround the windows and the lights in the main room flicker and it becomes darker. Nancy clutches the cross she wears around her neck while dust rains down from the ceiling as the building shakes. I reach out for Dean's hand and the two of us hold each others hand until the smoke seemed to disappear and it becomes quiet again.

"Everybody okay?" Sam asked everybody. "Define okay." Henriksen said then Dean let's go of my hand and pulls open a small brown bag. "All right, everybody needs to put these on." Dean said and he gives each of them a protection necklace. "They'll keep you from being possessed. There you go." Dean said as he gives Amici, Henriksen and Nancy one.

"What about you, (y/n) and Sam?" Nancy asked which prompted the boys and I to pull down our shirt collars, showing our matching protection symbol tattoos on our chests. "Smart. How long you had those?" Henriksen asked us. "Not long enough." I said.

Later, Dean and I were loading our guns with salt bullets when Henriksen speaks up. "Shotgun shells full of salt." he said and I nod. "Whatever works." Dean said. "Fighting off monsters with condiments." Henriksen said as he takes off his tie. "So turns out demons are real." He said as he starts filling his rifle with salt shells. "FYI, ghosts are real too. So werewolves, vampires, changelings, evil clowns that eat people." I said and he looks at me. "Okay then." He mutters.

"If it makes you feel better, Bigfoot's a hoax." Dean said as he smiles. "It doesn't." Henriksen said before he sighs. "So, how many demons?" He asked us. "Total? No clue. A lot." Dean said, shrugging.

"You know what my job is?" Henriksen asked. "You mean besides locking up the good guys?" I asked, sarcastically,  and he glances at me. "We have no idea." Dean said. "My job is boring, it's frustrating. You work three years for one break, and then maybe you can save few people. Maybe. That's the payoff. I've been busting my ass for 15 years to nail a handful of guys and all this while, there's something in the corner so big. So yeah…sign me up for that big, frosty mug of wasting my damn life." He said.

"You didn't know." Dean said. "Now I do." Henriksen said. He pauses then asked. "What's out there? Can you guys beat it? Can you win?"

"Honestly, I think the world's gonna end bloody. But it doesn't mean we shouldn't fight. We do have choices. I choose to go down swingin'." Dean said. "Plus you got nothing to go home to but your brother and your girlfriend." Henriksen said and Dean looks over at me and both of us smirk at each other. "Yeah." Dean whispers before he nods.

"What about you? You rockin' the white picket fence?" I asked Henriksen, curiously. "Mmm-mm, empty apartment, string of angry ex-wives. I'm right where you guys are." He replied with a chuckle. "Imagine that." Dean said and I huff a laugh.

Suddenly, there was a crash and Dean, Henriksen and I run into an office, followed by Sam. Ruby had broken in and was standing in the devil's trap. "How do we kill her?" Henriksen asked as he aims his rifle at her. "We don't." Sam said as he lowers Henriksen's rifle. "She's a demon." Henriksen yells. "She's here to help us." Sam said. "Are you kidding?" Amici said as Ruby stands near the window, breathing heavily. Dean and I sigh in exasperation.

"Are you gonna let me out?" She asked and Henriksen looks at me and Dean. Sam scratches the devil's trap on the floor with his knife so Ruby can get in. "And they say chivalry's dead. Does anyone have a breath mint? Some guts splattered in my mouth while I was killing my way in here." Ruby said as walks passes everyone into the main office.

"How many are out there?" Dean asked Ruby as we follow her. "30 at least. That's so far." She replied. "Oh, good. 30. 30 hit men all gunning for us. Who sent them?" I asked and Ruby looks at Sam, who is now standing in the doorway. "You didn't tell them?" She asked him and Dean and I look at Sam, confused.

"Ooh, I'm surprised." she said, surprised. "Tell us what?" Dean asked. "There's a big new up and corner. Real pied piper." Ruby replied. "Who is he?" I asked her  "Not he. Her. Her name is Lilith." said Ruby.

"Lilith?" Dean said. "And she really, really wants Sam's and (y/n)'s intestines on a stick. ‘Cause she sees them as competition." Ruby said and I felt my heart leap up to my throat. I gulped and looked at Dean for a moment before we look over at Sam. "You knew about this and didn't warn me or Dean?" I asked Sam, in a strained voice, but he doesn't answer.

"Well, gee, Sam. Is there anything else we should know?!" Dean yells, angrily, at him. "How about the three of you talk about this later? We'll need the Colt." Ruby said then she looks at Sam, who doesn't meet her eyes. She looks at me and Dean.

"Where's the Colt?" She asked, angrily. "It got stolen." Sam replied. "I'm sorry. I must have blood in my ear. I thought I just heard you say that you were stupid enough to let the Colt get grabbed out of your thick, clumsy, idiotic hands." She growls and the boys and I look down, guilty.

"Fantastic. This is just peachy…" Ruby grumbles. "Ruby…" Sam said in a guilty voice. "Shut up." She yells as she raises her hand. "Fine. Since I don't see that there's no other any option. There's one other way I know how to get you out of here alive." she said.

"What's that?" Dean asked her. "I know a spell. It'll vaporize every demon in a one-mile radius. Myself included. So, you let the Colt out of your sight and now I have to die. So next time, be more careful. How's that for a dying wish?" She said as she glares at us. "Okay, what do we need to do?" I asked her. "Aww…you can't do anything. This spell is very specific. It calls for a person of virtue." She replied and Dean nods.

"I got virtue." he said and Ruby chuckles. "Nice try. You're not a virgin." She sneers at him and Dean laughs. "Nobody's a virgin." He said and Ruby looks at Dean, then at Nancy, who looks away. "No. No way. You're kidding me, r–. You're…" Dean stammers. "What? It's a choice, okay?" Nancy said, defensive. "So, y-you've never…Not even once?" I asked, slightly shocked, and she shakes her head. "Wow." Dean mutters. 

"So, this spell. What can I do?" Nancy asked as she smiles at Ruby, who walks up to her. "You can hold still while I cut your heart out of your chest." Ruby said and Nancy looks taken aback by this.

"What?" Nancy asked.

"What? Are you crazy?" Dean asked Ruby. "I'm offering a solution." Ruby said, firmly. "You're offering to kill somebody." I yelled. "And what do you think's gonna happen to this girl when the demons get in?" Ruby asked. 

"We're gonna protect her. That's what." Henriksen said, firmly. "Very noble. You're all gonna die. Look. This is the only way." Ruby said. "Yeah, yeah. There's no way that you're gonna—" Dean said but then Nancy speaks up. "Would everybody please shut up?!"

We looked at her before she continues. "All the people out there…will it save them?" She asked Ruby. "It'll blow the demons out of their bodies. So if their bodies are okay…yeah." Ruby explains. There was a long pause before Nancy nods. "I'll do it." She said.

"Hell no." Henriksen said.

"No, no." Dean said.

"You don't need to do this." I said to Nancy. "All my friends are out there." She said. "We do not sacrifice people. We do that, we're no better than them." Henriksen points out. "We don't have a choice." Ruby said. "Yeah, well, your choice is not a choice." Dean growls then Ruby looks at Sam. 

"Sam, you know I'm right." She said and we look at Sam, who is silent.

"Sam?" I said to him, hoping he'd agree with me and Dean but he says nothing. "What the hell is going on? Sam, tell her." Dean said to him. "It's my decision." Nancy states. "Damn straight, cherry pie." Ruby said. "Stop! Stop! Nobody kill any virgins." I yelled, holding my hands out.

Then Dean looks over at Sam. "Sam, we need to talk to you." Dean said as he and I walk into the hallway and Sam follows.

"Please tell me you're not actually considering this. We're talking about holding down a girl and cutting out her heart." Dean said to Sam once we were put of earshot from the others. "And we're also talking about 30 people out there, Dean. Innocent people who are all gonna die, along with everyone in here." Sam said. "It doesn't mean that we throw away the rule book and stop acting like humans. I'm not gonna let that demon kill some nice, sweet, innocent girl, who hasn't even been laid. I mean, look, if that's how you win wars, then I don't want to win." Dean said.

"Then what? What do we do, Dean?" Sam asked and Dean turns away for a moment, then back. "I got a plan. I'm not saying it's a good one. I'm not even saying that it'll work. But it sure as hell beats killing a virgin." Dean said. "Okay, so, what's the plan?" I asked him. "Open the doors, let them all in and we fight." Dean replies.

Later, I made sure all the devil's trap were good and the salt line wasn't broken then I walked back into the main office, where everyone else was. Sam then followed behind me. "Get the equipment to work?" Dean asked him. "Yeah." Sam said. "So?" Dean said. "So this is insane." Sam exclaims. "You win understatement of the year." Ruby growls.

"Look, I get it, you think—"

"I don't think…I know. It's not gonna work." Ruby said, interrupting Dean, as she stands up and starts to leave. "So long, guys." She said. "So, you're just gonna leave?" I asked her. "Hey. I was gonna kill myself to help you win. I'm not gonna stand here and watch you lose." She said then she walks closer to Sam. "And I'm disappointed because I tried. I really did, but clearly I bet on the wrong horse." She sneers and Sam says nothing. "Do you mind letting me out?" She asked.

Minutes later, I used a knife to scratch away the paint forming the devil's trap, and then break the salt line across the doorway. Ruby walks outside and I shut the door. Sometime later, Sam, Dean, Henriksen, and I went and got ready in our positions at different spots in the building.

Sam and I were in the main office, while Dean and Henriksen are near outside doors. "All set?" Dean hollers. "Yeah!" Sam and I shouted back at him. "Ready!" Henriksen said. "Let's do this." Dean said and we break the salt lines and devil's traps protecting the doors.

At first, nothing happens, but then suddenly Demons run inside and Sam and I began shooting. A demon tackles Sam to the ground and I fight hand-to-hand with another the demons. Sam and I do out best to fight off the demons as best as we could but there were too many coming in.

Then we pulled out a bottle and started to fling holy water at demons just as Dean comes in and does the same. When our flasks become empty, the demons gather around us.

A female Demon climbs over a desk and walks towards me and Sam. She stretches out an arm, which sends the boys and I flying against the wall. We gasp in pain and look at each other. "Henriksen, now!" Dean shouts and a second later the speakers come on and a tape of Sam's voice speaking an exorcism plays out. 

The Demons began to cover their ears before they began to flail and scream. Some tried to get out but Nancy and Amici had already salted the entrances so they couldn't get out. Then black smoke begins to pour from the demons' mouths. The bodies of the possessed people fall to the ground as the smoke swirls around the ceiling as the exorcism continued.

When it finished, there was an explosion of light on the ceiling and everything goes still. Sam, Dean and I slide down the wall to the floor and look at each other before we get to our feet, groaning. Henriksen walks into the office and chuckles slightly as he wipes blood from his lip.

Dean shrugs as the people who had been possessed start to get up. "I better call in. Hell of a story I won't be telling." Henriksen said to us. "So what are you gonna tell them?" Sam asked him. "The least ridiculous lie I can come up with in the next five minutes." Henriksen replied. "Good luck with that." Dean said.

"Not to pressure you or anything, but what are you planning to do about us?" I asked Henriksen. "I'm gonna kill you. Sam and Dean Winchester and (y/n) (l/n) were in the chopper when it caught on fire. Nothing left. Can't even identify them with dental records." Henriksen said and Sam smiles. "Rest in peace guys." Henriksen said and we shake hands with him.

"Now get out of here." he tells us and the boys and I leave as Henriksen places a call.

Hours later, we were staying at a motel to relax, Sam lying on his back on a bed while Dean and I were sitting on the edge of the second bed when there was a knock at the door. Sam sits up and Dean gors to open the door. It's Ruby.

"Turn on the news." she said, annoyed and angry, as she walks into the room. Sam grabs the remote and turns on the television.

"The community is still reeling from the tragedy that happened just a few hours ago. Authorities believe a gas main ruptured...causing the massive explosion that ripped apart the police station and claimed the lives of everyone inside. Among the deceased, at least six police officers and staff, including Sheriff Melvin Dodd, Deputy Phil Amici, and secretary Nancy Fitzgerald as well as three FBI agents, identified as Steven Groves, Calvin Reidy, and Victor Henriksen." The reporter said as the news shows their pictures. 

My jaw dropped in shock and horror while the boys watched with confusion and shock. "Three fugitives in custody were also killed. We'll continue to follow the story here at the scene, but for now, back to you, Jim." the reporter said and Ruby turns off the television then looks at us with an "I-told-you-so" look.

"Must have happened right after we left." Sam mumbles. "Considering the size of the blast..." Ruby said as she tosses hex bags to us. "...smart money's on Lilith." She added. "What's in these?" Dean asked her as he holds up the hex bags. "Something that'll protect you. Throw Lilith off your trail…for the time being, at least." She said.

"Thanks." Sam mutters. "Don't thank me. Lilith killed everyone. She slaughtered your precious little virgin, plus a half a dozen other people. So after your big speech about humanity and war, turns out your plan was the one with the body count." Ruby said, angrily, and I look down at the floor in guilt.

"Do you know how to run a battle? You strike fast and you don't leave any survivors. So no one can go running to tell the boss. So next time…we go with my plan." Ruby growls before she leaves; leaving me, Dean and Sam alone in the hotel, feeling like total dicks.

@rach5ive @kitsun369 @itzabbyxx @cevans-winchester @ellie-andthemachine

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[filthforfriends]

Pre-San Remo interview so wild that I have to routinely hunt whatever version YouTube hasn't removed for copy right infringement to convince myself if actually happened.

Here are the highlights paraphrased:

Do you sleep with a different person every day? D: No. Every week? D: No. Man, women, or both? D: Women.

Have you ever been in a relationship with a much younger woman? D: No, "much younger than me" is what? Kindergarten?

Have you ever been in a relationship with a much older girl? D: Yes. From 18 to 34...is 16 years (of age difference).

Have you ever experienced or been subjected to sexual harassment in a musical environment? V: Hmm, no.

Have you ever been aware of sexual blackmail in your environment? V: Of people close to me that I know directly, no.

If it happened, what would you do? V: I'd try to comfort the person that had suffered harassment and I'd try to encourage them to report the facts and to talk about it.

Do people catcall you? V: Yes. Does it bother you? V: Yes, it's annoying. Can it be considered on par with harassment? V: Yes. Obviously, its psychological and verbal harassment, not physical. However, that does not make it any less serious.

Have you ever told off a persistent fan? D: Not because of his persistence...Once, when we were playing there weren't barriers. Victoria bent over and a guy had the friendly idea of touching her butt.

What did you do? D: I told him a few things. Not good things.

Who spends more on porn? T: We don't need those sites. D: Ethan! V: Ethan! E: I don't know why I feel like the others said my name. Am I wrong? Anyways, it's not me.

And are you in favor of legalizing prostitution? All: Yes.

Do you have a girlfriend in common? D: Not that I know of. T: Absolutely not. E: God, what a weird question.

And a boyfriend? D: Neither. T: No.

Have you ever thought about the fact that sooner or later you could disband? T: There is so much chemistry that no. E: No, never wanted to think about it.

Have you ever thought of leaving the band to become a soloist? D: Absolutely not.

Is being in the shadow the fate of musicians who are not frontmen? E: No. T: No. I'm also a guitarist so I don't have this problem.

Aren't you envious of John Lennon and Paul McCartney? T: Absolutely not. E: No, it's just self-destructive.

Have you ever taken psychedelic drugs or sedatives? All: No.

Pro legalization of soft drugs? All: Yes.

Voluntary euthanasia? All: Yes.

Who smokes more weed? T: I don't know. D: Me. V: Damiano E: Damiano.

How many cigarettes do you smoke per day? D: 5-10.

Cialis or Viagra? D: None. Misfire (premature ejaculation), it happens to everyone. What do you do when it happens to you? D: Wait a quarter of an hour.

How many hours do you spend making love? D: It depends on the week. And masturbating? D: Not many (times).

Are you in a relationship? D: I won't tell you that. Then tell us if you cohabitate. D: I live alone.

To win your affection, how much does it count (on a scale) from 1-10? Buy you dinner? V: Zero. Have a six pack? V: Zero. Have intelligence? V: Seven. Have a nice ass? V: Seven. Have a beautiful smile? V: Eight.

Have you ever had mutual attraction with a celebrity? V: Yes.

Do you receive interest even from women? V: Yes. Have you ever had a fling with a girl? V: Yes. How did it go? V: Good!

Do you get advances even from boys? D: It's happened.

Does it bother you if people think you're gay? D: Absolutely not.

Who hooks up the most? T: Depends on the moment. E: None. V: Ethan. D: Ethan.

Do you sleep together? V: All four, it's too much. D: Two by Two. T: It's happened. E: Me and Thomas sleep together when we have to split the group in two parts.

Do you support yourself by music or do you still get pocket money? D: I've able to support myself through music.

Has your family ever struggled to make ends meet? D: No, we are an average family.

Have you ever got a panic attack before a concert? E: No. T: Never. D: Not before a concert. V: Yes, it was awful. I tried to calm down and the guys helped me distract myself.

Have you ever been to a psychologist? T: No. E: No. V: Yes. D: Yes. How long? D: I'm still In therapy.

The most short tempered? D: Me. V: Me. E: Damiano. T: Sometimes me.

The most vain? E: Victoria at the beginning (of the band). T: All four. V: Damiano. D: I think myself.

And now do you always wear a mask? V: Yes, of course.

Will you vaccinate? All: Yes.

Source: X X X