#chunky boyz from my work

[switchbackhyperloop]

CHUNKY. MONKEYS. LARGE MARGES. BIG BOIS.

[sortyourlifeoutmate]

I have organized - if obviously not yet actually completed - the orks that I shall be taking to that two-person tournament my associate told me about. I still don't know what he's taking, but hell.

Again, bear in mind that, ignoring three of the meganobz, these are all models I dug out of my mother's loft after having them sit there for over a decade and have been wrangling back into something approaching acceptability.

So that'd be a small mob of shoota boyz and their trukk, a dreadnought, a battlewagon for the big mek and his meganobz to ride in (they're presently mostly in bits up top there) and finally a nice big mob of slugga boyz for my warboss to lead. That's a thousand points!

Obviously it's all incredibly ropey (and will continue to be even when it is 'finished') but here are some personal highlights.

When the new - 'new' from like twenty-plus years ago, so new to me - orks got released, one of the things I remember was a guy who did a conversion of making a big shoota by just snipping off the barrel of one and adding it to another. So I of course copied it.

Naturally, being a child at the time, I did it wonky. I still am very fond of this guy!

My dreadnought was missing his second big shoota so I glued on a burst cannon I had for some reason. I think it works! The original big shoota is stuck way back than it should be but I'm not even going to try and get it off.

(Also note the 'chaos vehicle ornaments' spiky plate stuck on the front for some reason.)

My warboss has an attack squig because that's an option and because the toothy squig with mohawk is one of my favourite models of all time. At some point I decided to paint this one a shiny red and I can't bring myself to go over it again. Might touch up the teeth a little...

I like this guy just because I decided to give him a rather old bolter. Lovely and chunky. It was a tossup between the bolter and a Gorkamorka shoota I had, and the bolter won. It's cute! Also basecoated in white for...

... some reason.

Paint's looking a little thick on this (white metal!) meganob but I was beyond caring at that point. I've actually adjusted his lightning claw, however! I snapped it off and then - using a trick I read about in a white dwarf that I had entirely ignored until just now - stuck it back on with some white tack before gluing it! And it worked! Neat!

The tournament is in the tail-end of September so I think things are going alright, actually! My painting ability hasn't progressed much since I was nine, but at least I have a better idea of what to actually do this time!

I even learned about thinning paints! Better late than never, eh?

[nunisumimaeumi]

Thrill Ride - Chapter Two

genre: idol! juyeon x hairstylist!fem reader, alternating povs, smut, angst, smut with little plot, love triangle.

synopsis: juyeon develops an unlikely relationship with a committed hairstylist.

******************************************

warnings: explicit mature content, cheating.

tags: public (female) masturbation, dry-fucking

you can also read this chapter on ao3.

******************************************

2| CJ E&M Center

Y/N

You wake up in the morning to the sound of your phone buzzing on the nightstand. It’s a message from Juyeon.

“Thought of you all night…”

You instantly delete it, glancing over your shoulder to check if Hongjoong is still asleep. The two of you are naked in his bed. Last night the sex was the best you had in months. Maybe the fact that you thought of your little session with Juyeon the whole time has something to do with it. Maybe. Right now, what is on your mind is: this has to stop. Pull yourself together, woman. You’re not ending your long term relationship with your boyfriend over some younger guy who has to publicly make a vote of chastity to his fans. That would be ridiculous. You’re smarter than that.

Your inner dialogue is interrupted by Hongjoong's yawn as he slowly wakes up. You ogle his bulky and ripped body and gets a little turned on. Mess.

“Morning, honey,” he greets you, sitting up. “You were amazing last night, you know that?” He plants a kiss on your lips. You could go for another round but he shoots you with “hey, I’m running late for work... would you mind making my protein shake? Don’t forget it’s 3 scoops of powder and—”

“400 ml of soy milk and 1 spoon of probiotics. I know, I know.”

“Thanks babe, I’m going to shower. Don’t forget to wash the blender afterwards.”

As Hongjoong heads into the bathroom, you feel the urge to reply to Juyeon. But you shouldn’t, right?

******************************************

It turns out that Sarah has scheduled you to work at all The Boyz’s activities.

“Sarah… can I not? Please? Those are super tiring,” you whine to her.

“Sorry, friend. There are 12 of them and we’re short-staffed” You let out a grunt. “What’s up with the attitude, girl? Thought you were besties with what’s-his-face and everything. I even assigned you for this solo video he’s doing.”

“You what?! Nooo, Sarah! Bad, bad, Sarah.”

“Oopsie!” She replies with a cheeky smile. “That’s the day after tomorrow by the way, hwaiting!”

You had been doing a good job avoiding Juyeon at those music shows gigs, where their schedule was usually packed and interactions were limited. However, this solo video project means you'll have to spend a significant amount of time with him.

“Just wondering… did you see Hongjoong in the last day of the Paradise City job?” Sarah asks you frowning her face with concern.

“Yup, I did. Why do you ask?”

“Oh, nothing. It’s just that…” she purses her lips, “uh… some acquaintances saw him at Itaewon with friends… and some girls.”

You side-eye her. “Well, he got out of his way to pick me up that day. No matter what is being implied here, he came home with me, and TMI alert: we had an amazing night.”

Her face contorts with disgust. “Eew, spare me the details next time. Anyways… I don’t know. I really think you should keep your eyes open…”

“Sarah, every now and then, some model or the garden variety tries to shoot her shot with him and it leads to nothing. Come on you’ve seen it yourself how he shuts down those girls. I got this.”

“If you say so…”

“Yeah, I’m saying so.”  you assert, putting on a confident front. But deep inside, your heart drops, and your mind is racing. Last night… was he thinking of somebody else… the way I was?

******************************************

You arrive at CJ E&M Center and the place is crowded with masked up girls armed with their chunky DSLR cameras, a few even brought stairs to get the perfect shot. Fansites. You read their ID plaques – the ones they usually carry to flash at their idols so they can pose to the right lenses – half of them are there for Juyeon. Damn, another reason to stay away from him.

After getting lost in the maze-like corridors of Mnet’s floor, you finally reach Studio Choom’s dressing room. Upon entering, you spot him. 

Juyeon is sitting on a chair, his eyes lighting up at the sight of you, smiles with his eyes upon seeing you. However shoot him a stern look, silently telling not now. The room is bustling with staff members, including production assistants, makeup artists, coordinators, managers, and you know well that people in this industry like to run their mouths.

******************************************

You think you’ve aced disguising any traces of you and Juyeon having something more than strictly professional and amicable? relationship.

Little did you know everyone was talking behind your back about your rather odd dynamics.

As you’re filling your cup of tea in the coffee break room, Minhee – a MUA from your studio – approaches you. “Hey… not to be nosy but what’s up with you and the talent?”

You almost spill your drink. “What do you mean??” You ask, exasperated.

An embarrassed Minhee tries to explain herself. “I mean… what’s the nature of your relationship… you’re kind of…” she searches for words “a little… skinship-y? And chatty? Like you had some inside jokes?” Holy crap, you’re in deep shit.

“HAHAHAAH,”  you attempt to play it off, overcompensating by laughing like a maniac. “That’s hilarious.” ou then lean on Minhee, wrapping your arms around her and placing your hands on your belly, pretending to be in pain from laughing. “Me? No, no, no, never. Hahah what a silly mistake, that’s just my personality… you know me, Minhee, I’m touchy like that.” You pat her shoulder. “Most importantly, I have a boyfriend. Thought you knew him? Hongjoong?”

“Oh… sorry,” she says, trying to pull away from your octopus arms.

“We are just friendly y'know… He’s like the clueless little brother who needs assistance sometimes… it’s all very very superficial though.”

“A-ah… I see…” Minhee just nods, smiling awkwardly to get out of your face as fast as she can.

When Juyeon comes back to change his hairstyle for the next segment, you’re in panic. Seems like everyone in the room has been sussing you. Unfair. You don’t even have anything going on. You kissed once… ok maybe more than kissed… but just this one time! And in a moment of weakness! Sigh.

“Juyeon, I heard that you’re single…” Yeonjin, the coordi, starts.

“Yes, I’m an Idol after all,” Juyeon replies with the most convincing innocent smile on his face.

"But I heard from that other guy from your group… what’s his name? The one with a long neck…” she continues.

“Changmin.”

“Well, he said you guys don’t have a dating ban anymore, so…”

“Yeah, Juyeon-ah! You should enjoy your youth,” you barge in the convo in a attempt to clear the air about you. “I have this idol client-friend who would be a great match,” you whisper her name in his ear. “She is a 98 liner too. Do you want me to set you up with her?”

But Juyeon just shakes his head. “No,” he says softly. “She’s nice but she’s not what I like.”

“So what is your type?” Yeonjin inquires. As you work on his hair, you steal glances at him, and when you look up, he's staring right at you, causing your heart to skip a beat.

“I like my women a little bit older,” he states boldly, his gaze daringly directed at you. The entire room seems to be paying attention to this conversation now.

“Oh... older okay…” You try to disguise how flustered his answer got you. “I have another client who is a 95-liner and she is sooo your type.”

“Nah, I said older. 3 years – that’s basically the same age”.

“Are you even Korean?” You retort in a mocking tone.

“I believe I have told you I like women who are more experienced and mature than me.” Your mouth falls agape. He knows how to fuck with your head. A whispery “daebak” slips out of Yeonjin's mouth. A wide-eyed Minhee looks at him and back at you, much like the audience of a tennis match.

Once ahold of yourself, you try to brush it off. “This is just code for SNSD fanboy isn’t it?”

Obliviously, Yeonjin laughs. “Right, right. Guys his age were all their fans when they were in school.” You feel relieved people are buying into it and gossiping about all A/B tier male idols who are SNSD fans. “Yah! Bangtan Sonyeondan V had this major crush on Yoona, I heard of” someone adds from the back.

“I don’t know Yoona, but I could maaaybe set you up with Yuri if you give me some time. Big maybe and very unlikely though. Your best bet still is the 98-liner I told you about.” And with that last line everyone just moves on to another hot topic. You smile to yourself in triumph. Juyeon, on the other hand, is glaring at you.

******************************************

As the recording session comes to an end and people start gathering their tools to leave, only the staff from Cre.Ker and Studio Choom remain behind to review the footage and finalize the editing details. Before packing up your belongings, you decide to sneak a peek at the wardrobe and costume room. Dozens of luxurious clothes hang on the racks, creating a wonderland for fashion aficionados. You take the see the garments up-close, feeling the fabrics and admiring the intricate embroideries.

Suddenly, your eyes are covered. “Guess who?” Sigh. It’s Juyeon.

“What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be with the people from your company?” You ask in a hushed tone.

“I had to sneak out before you pulled a French exit on me again,” he replies with soothing ASMR-like voice.

“Touching stuff and everything, but you’re seriously risking your job and mine with this, so I’m just gonna leave, see ya!” You reach for the door knob, but he holds you from behind.

“We’re not doing anything... you know, bad… stay, please,” he begs.

You try to pull away, but you don’t stand a chance against his longer-than-the-average-male-height wingspan. “Let me go--” Juyeon covers your mouth, and shooshes you, “footsteps,” he warns.

“Juyeon?” Someone outside calls. “Juyeon? Where are you?”

“I think he went into the wardrobe room,” another male voice suggests. Shit.  Without releasing his grip on you, Juyeon guides you to the back of the room. "Duck!" he whispers urgently as you find refuge between two racks. Startled, you hesitate for a moment, prompting him to push you down to the floor, his arms still wrapped around you, holding you in place.

The doork creaks open as someone enters “Juyeon?” the man calls out, sweeping the room. Meanthwile, you peak Juyeon texting behind you.

The man call his several times until a voice from the corridor yells, “just got a text from him! He needed to use the bathroom and take a break.”

“Ah. Okay!” The man walks out. “I guess we can wait.”

“Pheew. That was close.” Juyeon makes a mental note to buy his manager a piece of marbled beef thanking for this cover-up.

“I’m going to fucking kill you, not even kidding now,” you threaten him in a low voice. When you elbow his stomach in an attempt to break free, both of you end up tumbling to the floor. “Fair enough,” he grunts as his backs hits the ground.

“Shit. Are you okay?” You ask, genuinely concerned.

“Better now that you’re on top of me,” he smirks, holding you tighter.

“Idiot.” You struggle to pull away from him, causing both of you roll onto your sides, your back against his chest. You squirm some more; the friction between your bodies inadvertently triggers a jolt from your waist down. Time to stop. Both of you halt your efforts for a second, taking in the feeling of your bodies pressing against each other. Just when you can feel Juyeon hard against your hips...

“Ok, I’m sorry, you win” he declares his defeat short of breath, perhaps suddenly aware of the situation and afraid of crossing any boundaries. “You’re free to go.” He releases you from his tight embrace.

You know you should get up and go, but you found yourself wavering. The lingering feeling of his warm body against yours making a strong case for you to stay... No. You should get up. You are moving. Any second now. 

If only the pulse in your heart and between your legs could subside for a moment to help clear the fog in your head... But then, you feel his fingertips on you. Did he hear your racing heartbeat? Or was it your clear hesitancy? Who knows. What matters is that his touch grazes your exposed hip, as if he wants to hold you back. The soft pads of his digits sinking into your flesh work like throwing a lit match into a puddle of gasoline. And it did start the fire.

Ignited, your hand reaches for the back of his neck, holding onto it; your head turns to his, and, finally, your lips crash against his. The burning need of his mouth on yours doesn’t cool down, instead it consumes you and spreads under your skin like wildfire. Juyeon rushes into your flames: he props himself up on an elbow and holds your jaw to deepen the kiss, pouring his combusting desire into you, and you recklessly take it; truth is, you wanted to feel his breath, tongue, lips on you one more time. His hand slides under your shirt, sizzling as it nudges every inch of your torso. Your eyelids flutter closed at his touch, pulling him in close to press his hardness against you. “I can’t stop thinking about you,” he whispers in your ear.

His words wash over you, bringing you back to your senses... to a certain extent. You’re being so fucking selfish. Not only to your boyfriend but also to him. There is no possible good outcome from this.

“We really shouldn’t be doing this. It’s wrong on so many levels.” You muster the will to tell him. “The first time, we had a few drinks, inhibitions got lowered… not the best excuse but… It has to end today, seriously.”

That doesn’t stop him. He leans in and snatches your bottom lip between his teeth, dragging out gently. “Is that why you were setting me up with random women?” His hands caress your breasts; you squeeze your legs shut to ease the ache between them.

“Yes? You’d be better off with someone single and your age.” He lifts your shirt and pulls down your bra. You watch him without doing nothing. This won’t make a difference, right? As long as it doesn’t go any further than kissing.

“Ever thought I know what’s better for me?” he asks softly while flickering your nipple with his tongue. You gulp.

“You don’t know any better… you’re in your early twenties…” he plants open mouth kisses, lips grazing your sensitive skin. Your free hand moves on its own and fondle his hair while he treats you.

“Young and dumb?” he suckles your nipple, a hiss escapes your mouth. Your core feels already so warm and damp, and you can tell he’s just as needy by the way his hips sway to meet yours.

“I didn’t say that… but yes,” his hand creeps down your stomach. “Listen. We can’t be discovered. My colleague said everyone was onto us today.” He slides inside your underwear. You were already giving in. In fact, your body had already said yes and was behaving accordingly, letting his fingers run through your wet folds. “Juyeon… I’m serious,” his name coming out of your mouth a tad more moany than intended, prompting his bulge to twitch against you.

“If you want to keep this a secret shouldn’t you be more worried about buying my silence?” His question laced with a boyish smugness as his thumb stops on your nub and he feels it pounding for him.

You suck in a breath. “Oh, fuck you. Don’t even joke about that,” you scold him. He dips one digit inside you.

“Come on, buy my silence…” he hummed as he slid a second finger, plunging them in-and-out on slow pace. You unzip and pull down your pants and underwear.

“You should buy my silence. I can inflict much more damage on you,” you taunt, thrusting against his bulge to get a grunt out of him.

“Should we seal an agreement then?” He pumps his fingers a few times in long, full strokes, before bringing them up coated to swirl your clit.

“Yes…” your hips buckle to meet his movements. “I mean, no… Depends on your conditions.” You tell him amid raggedy breaths. The sound of your fingers unzipping his trousers surprise you. You want this more than you thought and it's clear as day by the way you brush your ass against his cock in a circular motions until you get a kick from feeling him shudder because of you.

“Stop passing me around like I’m disposable.” He digs his fingers soaked with your wetness to spread you wide open for him. You hook your upper leg around his thighs, giving him space to cover your whole pussy with his hand. “I know what I want.”

“Fine.” Your voice barely a faint, but the reluctance still perceptible. When he pumps back inside you, his long fingers crook against your front walls and the heel of his palm presses your clit. You can feel your face flushing and how you’re dripping wet. It’s so hard to think in this state, you just want to grind his hand until you come. “And you should be discreet in public. Curb your little crush.” You manage to spill breathless.

Finally unable to retort, he buries his head on your neck, nibbling and breathing hard against it. You can feel already so close to coming, thighs tensing, stomach recoiling. To push yourself over the edge, you cover his hand on your pussy with your own, pressing it into yourself. You grind against him harder and harder, his whimpers falling on your ears. Clenching and unclenching around Juyeon’s digits, he dives them deeper to rub your soft spot. And then it hits you. Quick short whiny breaths leave your mouth, you squeeze your eyes shut as the heat in your clit starts bursting, the release sending you shivers and little convulsions to your hips.

This is so, so bad, is the first thought you have when you come down from your high. How did things escalate so quickly? You were about to cut him off. You derailed like a trainwreck. 

As you get out of your head, you notice Juyeon’s chest is also heaving. “Did you?…” you ask him.

“Yes.” He answers shyly.

“Oh.”

“Yeah… I'm heading straight to the bathroom.” He plants a kiss on your shoulder and caresses it.

“Juyeon…”

“Yes!” He answers enthusiastically, clueless about what you’re going to say.

You gather your thought for a brief moment. “Look… We have to leave it at that. Trust me when I say. I'm not the right person for you.” 

He closed his eyes for a moment and then whipped them open, looking dumbfounded. “Haven’t you heard anything I’ve been trying to tell you? And what about our agreement?” He words carry a hint of wound injustice.

“You know that we said those things in the heat of the moment, come on...” His face closed. “Don’t give me that look. Don’t make things more difficult than they need to be, please.”

“Y/N.” His tone softened, and you could see the struggle within him. “It’s not—I know this is wrong. You think I don’t know?” He runs a hand through his hair. “But you have to know this isn’t just a fling to me” he says firmly.

Your heart dropped. “I’m really sorry. I’m older and should’ve been wiser. But you knew what you were dealing with from the get go...You and I have known each other for a month or so. Hongjoong and I, we have history, years...”

“I don’t want to hear about that right now.” He interrupts, jaw clenched.

“Well, you have to. I’m going to walk out that door, and we’re going to move on with our lives, and very soon, you’ll realize this was nothing but lust we shouldn’t have indulged from day one. So yeah. This is it. No more after this.” You declare, already standing up to leave.

He sticks out his tongue, pressing it against his cheek. “Okay... fair enough” he deeply exhales, his eyes roams the room. “I’ll still keep on wanting you though. Feel free to do whatever you want with that information.” He murmured in your ear, cold chills going up your spine and down. His words wouldn’t leave the back of your mind for weeks to come.

[weareasong]

...

Look, I was gonna go easy on you not to hurt your feelings

But I'm only going to get this one chance (Six minutes, six minutes)

Something's wrong, I can feel it (Six minutes)

Just a feeling I've got (Six minutes, Slim Shady, you're on)

Like something's about to happen, but I don't know what

If that means what I think it means, we're in trouble, big trouble

And if he is as bananas as you say, I'm not taking any chances

You are just what the doc ordered

I'm beginnin' to feel like a Rap God, Rap God

All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod

Now, who thinks their arms are long enough to slap box, slap box?

They said I rap like a robot, so call me rap-bot

But for me to rap like a computer must be in my genes

I got a laptop in my back pocket

My pen'll go off when I half-cock it

Got a fat knot from that rap profit

Made a livin' and a killin' off it

Ever since Bill Clinton was still in office

With Monica Lewinsky feeling on his, nutsack

I'm an MC still as honest

But as rude and as indecent as all hell

Syllables, skill-a-holic (Kill 'em all with)

This flippity dippity-hippity hip-hop

You don't really wanna get into a pissin' match

With this rappity brat, packin' a MAC in the back of the Ac'

Backpack rap crap, yap-yap, yackety-yack

And at the exact same time

I attempt these lyrical acrobat stunts while I'm practicing that

I'll still be able to break a motha-fuckin' table

Over the back of a couple of faggots and crack it in half

Only realized it was ironic

I was signed to Aftermath after the fact

How could I not blow?

All I do is drop F-bombs

Feel my wrath of attack

Rappers are having a rough time period, here's a maxi pad

It's actually disastrously bad for the wack

While I'm masterfully constructing this master piece as

Cause I'm beginnin' to feel like a Rap God, Rap God

All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod

Now, who thinks their arms are long enough to slap box, slap box?

Let me show you maintaining this shit ain't that hard, that hard

Everybody want the key and the secret to rap immortality like I have got

Well, to be truthful the blueprint's

Simply rage and youthful exuberance

Everybody loves to root for a nuisance

Hit the Earth like an asteroid

Did nothing but shoot for the moon since (Pew)

MC's get taken to school with this music

Cause I use it as a vehicle to "bus the rhyme"

Now I lead a new school full of students

Me? I'm a product of Rakim, Lakim Shabazz, 2Pac

N.W.A, Cube, hey, Doc, Ren, Yella, Eazy, thank you, they got Slim

Inspired enough to one day grow up

Blow up and be in a position

To meet Run-D.M.C

Induct them into the mothafuckin' Rock 'n

Roll Hall of Fame

Even though I'll walk in the church and burst in a ball of flames

Only Hall of Fame I'll be inducted in is the alcohol of fame

On the wall of (Shame)

You fags think it's all a game, 'til I walk a flock of flames

Off a plank and tell me what in the fuck are you thinking?

Little gay-lookin boy

So gay I can barely say it with a 'straight' face, lookin' boy

You're witnessing a mass-occur

Like you're watching a church gathering take place, looking boy

Oy vey, that boy's gay, that's all they say, looking boy

You get a thumbs up, pat on the back

And a "way to go" from your label every day, looking boy

Hey, looking boy, what you say, looking boy

I get a "hell yeah" from Dre, looking boy

I'ma work for everything I have, never ask nobody for shit

Get outta my face, looking boy

Basically, boy, you're never gonna be capable of keeping up

With the same pace, looking boy

Cause I'm beginnin' to feel like a Rap God, Rap God

All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod

The way I'm racing around the track, call me NASCAR, NASCAR

Dale Earnhardt of the trailer park, the White Trash God

Kneel before General Zod this planet's Krypton-no Asgard, Asgard

So you be Thor and I'll be Odin, you rodent, I'm omnipotent

Let off then I'm reloading immediately with these bombs I'm toting

And I should not be woken

I'm the walking dead

But I'm just a talking head, a zombie floating

But I got your mom deep throating

I'm out my Ramen Noodle

We have nothing in common, poodle

I'm a Doberman, pinch yourself in the arm and pay homage, pupil

It's me my honesty's brutal

But it's honestly futile if I don't utilize what I do though

For good at least once in a while

So I wanna make sure somewhere

In this chicken scratch I scribble and doodle

Enough rhymes to

Maybe try to help get some people through tough times

But I gotta keep a few punchlines

Just in case cause even you unsigned

Rappers are hungry looking at me like it's lunchtime

I know there was a time where once I, was king of the underground

But I still rap like I'm on my Pharoahe Monch grind

So I crunch rhymes, but sometimes when you combine

Appeal with the skin color of mine

You get too big and here they come trying to censor you like that one line

I said on "I'm Back" from the Mathers LP 1

When I tried to say: "I'll take seven kids from Columbine

Put 'em all in a line, add an AK-47, a revolver and a nine"

See if I get away with it now that I ain't as big as I was but I'm

Morphin' into an immortal

Coming through the portal

You're stuck in a time warp from 2004, though

And I don't know what the fuck that you rhyme for

You're pointless as Rapunzel with fuckin' cornrows

You write normal? Fuck being normal

And I just bought a new raygun from the future

Just to come and shoot ya, like when Fabolous made Ray J mad

'Cause Fab said he looked like a fag at Mayweather's pad

Singing to a man while they played piano

So Ray J went straight to the radio station

The very next day, "Hey Fab, I'ma kill you!"

Lyrics coming at you at supersonic speed (J.J. Fad)

Uh, summa-lumma, dooma-lumma, you assuming I'm a human

What I gotta do to get it through to you? I'm superhuman

Innovative and I'm made of rubber

So that anything you say is ricocheting off of me and it'll glue to you and

I'm devastating, more than ever demonstrating

How to give a mothafuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating

Never fading, and I know the haters are forever waiting

For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating

'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

I make elevating music, you make elevator music

"Oh, he's too mainstream"

Well, that's what they do when they get jealous, they confuse it

"It's not hip-hop, it's pop"

'Cause I found a hella way to fuse it

With rock, shock rap with Doc

Throw on "Lose Yourself" and make 'em lose it

"I don't know how to make songs like that

I don't know what words to use"

Let me know when it occurs to you

While I'm ripping any one of these verses that versus you

It's curtains, I'm inadvertently hurting you

How many verses I gotta murder to

Prove that if you were half as nice

Your songs you could sacrifice virgins too?

Ugh, school flunky, pill junkie

But look at the accolades, these skills brung me

Full of myself, but still hungry

I bully myself cause I make me do what I put my mind to

When I'm a million leagues above you

Ill when I speak in tongues

But it's still tongue-in-cheek, fuck you

I'm drunk so Satan take the fucking wheel

I'm asleep in the front seat

Bumping Heavy D and the Boyz

Still "Chunky but Funky"

But in my head there's something I can feel tugging and struggling

Angels fight with devils and here's what they want from me

They're asking me to eliminate some of the women hate

But if you take into consideration the bitter hatred I have

Then you may be a little patient and more sympathetic

To the situation and understand the discrimination

But fuck it

Life's handing you lemons, make lemonade then

But if I can't batter the women

How the fuck am I supposed to bake them a cake then?

Don't mistake him for Satan

It's a fatal mistake

If you think I need to be overseas and take a vacation

To trip abroad

And make her fall on her face and don't be a retard

Be a king? Think not

Why be a king when you can be a God?

(end)

[thehotboxsocial]

Teddy Riley Early Rap Productions

The Show [Doug E. Fresh & The Get Fresh Crew] (Reality, 1985)

Go See The Doctor [Kool Moe Dee] (Rooftop, 1986)

Rap’s New Generation [The Classical Two] (Rooftop, 1987)

I’m Getting Paid [Heavy D & The Boyz] (Uptown, 1987)

I’m All Shook Up [Spoonie Gee] (Tuff City, 1987) 

Do You Know What Time It Is? [Kool Moe Dee] (Jive, 1987)

Chunky But Funky (Remix) [Heavy D & The Boyz] (Uptown, 1987)

Wild Wild West [Kool Moe Dee] (Jive, 1987)

Take It Off (Remix) [Spoonie Gee] (Tuff City, 1987)

Crime [Masters Of Ceremony] (M-Low, 1985)

How’s Everybody Feelin’ [B-Fats] (Rooftop, 1988)

I Introduced The Beat [Woody Rock] (MCA, 1987)

Woppit [B-Fats] (Posse, 1986)

The Jizer [Divine Force] (Yamak-ka, 1987)

My Phone [D.J. Short & Max Zeke] (Hechomance, 1987)

Rayrock Kick It [Ray Rock & KC] (N.V., 1986)

Caught Out There [Roof Top] (Hechomance, 1987)

Get Busy [Disco Four] (Reality, 1986)

Expressing My Thoughts [Tony Tee] (Rooftop, 1987)

Pump It Hottie [Redhead Kingpin & The F.B.I.] (Virgin, 1989)

I Get The Job Done [Big Daddy Kane]

After scoring a huge uncredited hit for Doug E Fresh & Slick Rick as a teenager in 1985, the legendary Teddy Riley became a hired gun in NY’s underground rap scene, producing a bunch of one-off’s for mostly unknowns. That stretch of indie 12’s is represented well on side B of this compilation where Teddy’s mostly traditional boom bap sound hints at something larger to come. There’s a reason why he was credited as Teddy (Swingbeat) Riley on the Divine Force single. Most of these are unavailable on your precious streaming services so hit that zippyshare link while it’s still available. 

No less an authority than Kwame himself has stated that New Jack Swing, the sound of R&B that dominated the late 80’s early 90’s that Teddy single-handedly created begun with “Go See The Doctor” & “Rap’s New Generation” and ended with Michael Jackson’s Dangerous LP. That sounds accurate to me but Keith Sweat’s 1987 smash “I Want Her” is recognized as being the first true song of the genre. Around the time that this exploded he began working with some bigger names and labels. Side A of this comp covers that initial new jack rap run and then we close out with 2 songs from 1989 when Teddy and R&B in general was in full new jack swing mode and his own group Guy were the hottest act on the scene.

New Jack 8-Pack

I Want Her (Extended Version) [Keith Sweat]

Just Got Paid (Dub Mix) [Johnny Kemp]

My Prerogative (Extended Remix) [Bobby Brown]

Groove Me [Guy]

I Wanna Get With U (Club Version) [Guy]

She Drives Me Wild [Michael Jackson]

D-O-G- Me Out (Video Remix) [Guy feat. Wrecks-N-Effect]

Now That We Found Love (Extended Club Mix) [Heavy D & The Boyz]

I wasn’t old enough to be in the club doing the running man with my hi-top fade and silk shirt when this music was poppin but it sure looked like a whole lot of fun. Here’s a bonus zip of 8 New Jack Swing essentials produced by Teddy Riley in rough chronological order from 1987-1991. There are some 12” single remixes & extended versions included here like the vastly superior “D-O-G Me Out” remix which is not even on the 12” it is CD single only.

[transit-out-of-darkness-blog]

THE STILETTO IS A FEMININE WEAPON THAT MEN JUST DON'T HAVE

THE STILETTO IS A FEMININE WEAPON THAT MEN JUST DON’T HAVE

I started dancing at the age of eighteen. Yes stripping but I absolutely can not stand the word “stripper”. I was chunky from working at Mconalds from the age of sixteen (that was my first job). I had short hair that I had no idea what to do with and had never shaved a day in my life. I’ll never forget my first time on stage a song by the 69 boyz was vibrating through the atmosphere. I started…

[themaslarl-blog]

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