#chubby!kaden

[cosmic-ships]

Kaden handed their phone to Paul, who hesitated before taking it. "Check this out," they said, swiping through the photos. The screen was filled with images of flowers, close-ups of leaves, bugs, other various plant life, and then, dozens of bumble bees. Paul chuckled softly, his brow furrowing in curiosity.

"You really like bumble bees, huh?" Paul remarked, glancing up at Kaden. "There are so many of them here. Is there a story behind it?"

Kaden's eyes lit up, a smile spreading across their face. "I just think they're the cutest little things. Their fuzzy butts are adorable! They work so hard, but they always look so happy and chubby. I can't help but take a picture every time I see one."

Paul's smile widened at Kaden's enthusiasm, He found their affection for the little creatures endearing and honestly, quite adorable.

[yjano]

Who I am now?

Part 18.

Pairing: Jake x Mc.

Genre: Angst, comedy, dark romance.

Warnings: Strong language, angst scenes. 18+ content can be found.

Words: 9.2k

Author's note: This story contains mature topics and is not fully related to the duskwood game. A different parallel with different personalities. Thank you everyone for following and liking this! lly.♡

•

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Jake focus.

.

The cold air bit harshly at my knuckles and the tip of my nose, coloring my features with a soft hue of red. The crude winter weather refused to relent as it further weakened my once-strong frame. My body now turned stiff by the rather mean winds that jeer at my pathetic form.

Sitting there on the bench stiffly and alone, holding tightly onto a small bouquet of too-bright tulips that seemed odd when compared to the bleak atmosphere graveyards tend to carry, odd or not, they were my mom's favorite flowers and it was a yearly tradition for me to bring tulips for my mom's death anniversary.

Don't take me wrong. I love my nonbiological mom but I could never forget my real mom.

I twirled the said flowers in my hand now, my eyes studying the soft pinks and delicate whites when my mind flit back to the remnants of my eleven-year-old fragmented memory.

-back to his childhood-

"Kaden, Jake, make sure you fall in love with someone like your mom." The twins' stepdad murmured to himself, dazedly staring at their mother as she slipped her foot into beat-up converses, tying the laces with a smile on her face.

She was dressed in faded white dungarees and a black tee. She stood up in one hand holding a small potted tomato plant. Its green unripe bulbs swayed back and forth as she childishly hopped off the last step of the staircase.

She was a florist, an avid one at that, and a little bit of a gardener. But mainly she attended to flowers she tended to them from her backyard to her many potted plants dotted around the house to the small florist situated in the center of the town that she owned proudly. She did love plants. Especially pink tulips, tulips were often found sweetly decorating the patio and the window sills of their family home.

The twins have practically been living in a jungle since their birth. Constantly having to teeter-totter in and out of their mother's overgrown plants growing inside their home since they were toddlers, "helping" out in the garden.

Now at age eleven years old, the twins refused to partake in acting florists and instead kept to their increasing collection of action figures and video games. They did, however, help out on Saturday by watering the plants. Well, Jake did because Kaden was too busy crawling through their mom's few cabbages, dirtying the knees of his jeans as he determinedly eyed the green vegetables to find a pet snail he could lovingly name as "Snail".

"And kids, make sure you become someone as loving and sweet as your father." The twins mother now replied, pushing her too-long bangs out of her eyes and grinning at the two of boys who sat at the dining table, coloring in their penciled drawings of dinosaurs copied from their stepfather's book about the aforementioned creatures.

"But dad, I'm going to fall in love with Selena and she looks nothing like mom."

Kaden stated dejectedly as he colored his stegosaurus purple with those chubby wax crayons they've never got around to growing out of. "She got long hair, not short hair."

Their father snapped out of his lovestruck daze then and looked over his shoulder at Kaden with his bright eyes narrowing at the boy.

"Young man, you are too young to be falling in love just yet."

Their father, Alex, worked at a local high school as a science teacher, and both of the twins were fairly educated about science as their father, regularly, read excerpts of stories he assigned to his high school students. The twins never really understood their father's bedtime jargon but twins adored hearing him recite stories in perfect words.

But something lethal stewed behind his softened gazes and quiet laughter, something very ugly remained dormant inside him, only surfacing when a certain something triggered it.

And that certain something was godamn exam season. When exam season came rolling by, most people who previously flocked around him, adoringly kept their distance knowingly and allowed the man to have peace and space as marking a good thousand exam papers often caused the Beast as twins had dubbed it to emerge.

The Beast was their father's personality during exam season, he resembled a beast down to a capital tee. His mouth was constantly twisted into a grimace and his thick brows were often tugged together in serious contemplation as he maniacally graded several lit papers with his red biro furiously scrawling away on the surface of his student's papers.

"Honey, let the boys live." Their mom grinned, delightedly settling her potted tomato plant on the window sill near her before padding over to her husband and pressing a kiss on his cheek to console him for not taking his side in the debacle of whether their kids were too young to love. Their father was quick to forgive as he smiled, returning the affectionate action by leaning his head forwards and bopping his nose gently against his wife's. Twins having mistaken the bopping of noses to be a kiss, squealed at the sight, playfully yelling.

"Ewwww!"

They received loud curses from their startled grandmother who stood in their kitchen, baking something sweet for the twins to consume after today's lunch.

Their mother flit her eyes towards Jake who giggled quietly at the grandmother's spew of threats before returning to coloring my drawing.

"Jake honey, what about you? Do you have someone you want to love?" She asked slyly, smiling at her youngest twin who promptly ducked his head, distractedly coloring in his messily drawn pterodactyl as he mumbled.

"Maybe."

"Oh? And who's the lucky person?"

"I think, I think I love red eye."

Kaden snorted derisively at this.

"Brother! You can't fall in love with your car model!" He claimed, referring to Jake's jeep car toy model. Their parents stifled their grins at this, not wanting to hurt their sensitive son's feelings.

"S-shut up otherwise I'm going to tell Selena you like her." Jake stuttered, glaring at his twin brother.

"Bro, no! You can't!"

"Jake, let your brother tell Selena himself. She's his crush and it's his choice to choose whether he wants to ask her out or not. And Kaden, your brother can love whoever or whatever he wants, even his car toys. It's okay to do so." Their mother reprimanded with a small smile as she parted from her husband's side to walk over and plant lipsticked kisses against an embarrassed Jake and a protesting Kaden's foreheads.

"Isabelle dear get going already! I'll take care of the kids!" The twins' grandmother yelled over the deafening clamor of pots and pans clattering together in the kitchen. Their mother glanced towards the kitchen with a grin on her face.

Their parents were going to a different city for their annual visit to see the lush flower gardens where they first met each other. When the two stood in a field full of brightly colored flowers as a teary-eyed twins mother had yelled at a perplexed Alex for picking the flowers so crudely fifteen years ago.

"Alright, mom!" She called over her shoulder, addressing the kids' grandma before walking over to her patiently waiting husband who now stood by the front door.

"We'll be back soon! Be good boys, I love you!" She claimed enthusiastically, blowing kisses over her shoulder to the twins who simultaneously groaned with embarrassment. "Stay safe! Don't trouble your grandmother! Eat all the foods she makes! Don't make too much of a mess! And-"

"Honey, we're going to a garden show for a couple of hours, we're not leaving them forever." An amused Alex raised his eyebrows at his wife before glancing over to his boys, simply and using his best teacher voice sternly saying.

"No fighting, okay?"

"Okay, dad."

"Bye, dad!"

The car crash happened later that evening.

"Locals, high school science professor, D.Alex, and florist, D.Isabelle, were reported dead this evening at 10pm. The couple was said to be traveling back home to their family from flora gardens when a drunk truck driver hit the car headfirst, immediately causing lethal head injuries that ruthlessly killed the inhabitants of the car.

The driver had then continued to drunkenly drive, brashly forcing the vehicle aside where it promptly crashed into the weakened railings of the city bridge, breaking poor infrastructure away and causing the car to topple backward and fall into the icy river below.

Both the car and the bodies have been retrieved from the water a few hours ago by emergency services called in and informed of the accident by a local in her late twenties who additionally stated the driver's number plate. The offender, the thirty-six-year-old man, has been arrested by local police officers and is now put on trial for later this month when his prison sentence will be determined. We predict he will serve a ten-fourteen year sentence."

-present time-

I sighed heavily, shakily. I blinked away hot tears that threatened to spill at the resurfacing memories that hastily consume my mind. Biting my lower lip to suppress the myriad of emotions I was experiencing, I tightened my grip on the tulips wrapped with pale pink cellophane and stood up, walking the couple steps to the two gravestones inscribed with the names of my parents.

Swallowing the constricting lump in my throat, I crouched down by the off-white slabs of stone and settled the tulips by the head of my mom's grave, deeming them okay. I exhaled heavily and forced myself to rise to my feet and rake a hand through my dark hair in an attempt to console myself.

I pushed my hair off my forehead and gazed down at my stepfather's grave with lidded eyes and the overbearing feeling in my heart almost suffocating me.

Flowers weren't present on my father's grave, meaning that Nymos hadn't come by yet.

After our parents death, me and Nymos had unknowingly appointed ourselves the roles to procure flowers to offer to our mom and dad. I was self-appointed to buy my mom her favorite tulips and similarly, Nymos was self-appointed to purchase our father bunches of baby's breath wrapped in the same brown wrapping paper our mom used to package them with.

I desperately hoped today wasn't the day when Kaden will forget to buy our dad his flowers. Frowning at the thought of Nymos perhaps forgetting about today's event. I pushed myself off my haunces and stood up, distractedly brushing myself off before turning away. Picking my way through the off-white snow, careful not to step in puddles and dampen my boots when I walked back to the bench.

Straightening my leather jacket, I seated myself down on the bench and folded my arms over my chest in an attempt to gain warmth.

"Hey."

I jerked my head to the left to see Kaden standing by the bench, similarly dressed in a casual suit but more concerned about the weather, wearing a warm winter's coat that sit perfectly on his shoulders. My twin brother smiled at me, waving the bunch of little, white flowers in my direction in a warm greeting.

I looked away, retraining my gaze on my parents.

"Piss off."

"Good to see you too, brother," Kaden replied cheerily, walking past me and stopping by the two graves placed side to side with each other.

Standing there with his eyes closed, Kaden looked the epitome of peaceful, and comfortable. As if he had practiced in looking so serene standing in the middle of a graveyard on a wintry morning.

I blinked at him. Was this the kid who bawled like a baby as soon as he stepped foot inside the godamn graveyard eight years ago, crying hard about something regarding zombies and brains spilling out of heads?

Kaden finally opened his eyes and crouched by his father's grave, placing his purchased flowers nearby. I looked away when Kaden stood up and turned around, childishly refusing to meet my brother's eyes.

"Came here a little earlier than usual to see you and-" Kaden hummed, walking towards me with something in his hand. "Give you this little bad boy." Grinning, Kaden outstretched his arm, offering the item in his hand to me when he was standing a couple of steps in front of me.

"It's a compiled file of songs that helped me through my break up with Lex last year. I guarantee you that by listening to this song, You'll instantly feel better." Kaden explained, sitting down beside me and taking my hand, pressing the item into my pliant palm.

"It's got some Coldplay in it because I know you like his song, oh and some of the neighborhood is in there somewhere."

I glanced at the item laying flat on my palm and snorted derisively at the shared words scrawled onto the protective plastic casing of a cd.

"Kaden top fifty songs to listen to, to get out of a break-up period." I read in a bored, condescending tone before glancing upwards to look at Kaden with my eyes narrowing.

"Why the fuck would you need to get over the breakup? You're the one who broke up everything and everyone, you fucker." I spit out with my hand tightening in my hold on the cd. Kaden warily studied my eyes for a few seconds before mumbling out.

"Just because I was the one who ruined everything doesn't mean that I didn't feel an ounce of heartbreak at all Jake. I still miss you and Lex of course. I-"

I cut him off by chuckling bitterly, looking away. I was softer when Mc was around but when she's not around I can show my anger towards Nymos at its fullest.

"Maybe if you hadn't fucked around with all of us, I would've missed you too, but you did fuck up so what do you expect me to say? I miss you too. No, all I have to say now is fuck you, you fucking fucker. You brought this upon yourself." I grit out before abruptly standing up and starting to walk away from my brother with shoulders tensed and hands trembling.

"Brother, wait!"

I didn't realize I took Kaden's cd until arriving home and noticing the item sitting dejectedly on the passenger seat of my jep where I had angrily thrown it without thinking.

After Mc's sudden departure and my mother and father's death anniversary, my life continued as a routined sequence, bearing little to no fruits of happiness or success. Only heartbreak seemed prominent in my life.

~

In the morning, I'll wake up, lie on my side and stare at the other side of my bed, painfully contemplating what it'd be like to have Mc by my side, arms wrapped around her lithe frame and burrowing my face into the junction where Mc's shoulder meets with her neck, breathing in her comforting scent of cool vanilla mint? Or was it just warm vanilla? No? Maybe?

When the thought of Mc started to distress me, I tore myself away from my crumpled sheets, leaving my unmade bed looking very dejected and dragging myself to my bathroom, seeking resolve in a warm shower that'll hopefully comfort me.

After the shower which brought little ease to my aching muscles. I fell into yet another lapse, standing there in the bathroom, reminiscing memories of a grinning Mc singing to me through a mouthful of froth and using her toothbrush as a substitute for a microphone. I reminisced finding a frenzied Mc wrapped in a cream-colored shower curtain whilst thrashing around in our hotel's bathtub, crying out in bewilderment as her hands flail around manically in an attempt to pull the slightly damp material off her face. I reminisced-

Once again, I drew myself away from the bathroom, wandering lifelessly out of the suddenly suffocating room as yet again, memories of Mc kickstarted my distress.

~

Most of the morning passed by within a blink of my eyes as I was focused solely on distracting myself through a terse game of overwatch and halfheartedly gnawing at the burnt toast I had made for breakfast. Memories do not surface at this time of day.

~

I finally parted from my computer, deeming myself incredibly hungry and needing to ingest some food as soon as possible. But as soon as I entered my kitchen, my bare feet pattered against the cold marble tiles, I find out that I had barely any food present for me to eat. I hadn't gone grocery shopping in weeks.

Closing the refrigerator with a small sigh, I rested my forehead against the thrumming appliance and contemplated whether I should throw on a hoodie, grab my keys and go grocery shopping or order takeout like I was doing straight for this past month.

Deciding that I don't care anymore about breaking out after binging on greasy fast food, I took my mobile phone out of my backpack and dialed my local pizza place with my stomach growling loudly. I ordered a large veggie supreme pizza just to be healthy, garlic bread, one small portion of potato wedges, chocolate chip cookies, and two cans of coca cola.

~

Once I realized I've spent half the day playing overwatch and snacking on cold pizza, I licked the tomato sauce off my thumb and switched my computer offer, pushing myself off my chair when the screen blanks, leaving only a mere reflection of my face staring at me in the eyes.

Hastily looking away from the haggard, expression that was settled long since on my face, I drew the grease-stained pizza box and plastic bag into my arms and padded out of my bedroom, walking down my set of winding stairs before setting foot on my living room and stumbling towards the kitchen, dumping the items in my arms onto the growing pile of rubbish seated by the already overfilled bin that I should clear out. I tugged my refrigerator open and grabbed a water bottle, uncapping the bottle and lifting it to my lips, sipping at the water as my thoughts finally spurred again.

Fuck, I miss Mc.

I miss her soft eyes. Her wide smile, her long hair...Her soft touch. I miss her so much.

Her loud laugh, her 'good morning' kisses, her habit of mumbling quietly in her sleep, her tendency to look good in shitty shirt and tacky flip flops-

I want her back. I want her back in my arms. Her cute fixation on my tattoos, her soft stomach, her awkwardly small hands that envelope my hands like a baby's.

I'm so pathetic.

So weak, so stupid, so fucking dependent on someone who I knew would leave me.

Of course, she'd leave me. Everyone does soon. I dropped my eyes to the tiled floor, parting from the bottle of water, and capping the container before resting it on the countertop with shaky hands. I feel like I was going to throw up.

I reached for the refrigerator, placing my clammy palm against the cool surface, I breathed in deeply and breathes out equally the same until I fully suppressed the need to hurl my veggie supreme and instead released the floodgates to my tears, allowing myself to bask in my self-hatred.

~

Like all evenings since I parted with Mc. I climbed into bed early in hopes of getting a good night's rest to start the next day with a renewed attitude. Of course, that doesn't happen, but it doesn't stop me from being hopelessly wishful.

Despite my rather optimistic attempts, I find myself lying on my back in the center of my king-sized bed with my arms and legs splayed out in a starfish form.

Hoping that my bed will seem more occupied if I take up more of the space myself. It doesn't work out too well as seconds later, I retracted into my usual sleeping form. Sleeping on my side and securely enclosing my arms around my body pillow.

Sighing in defeat, I burrowed my face against the cotton material of my body pillow and closed my eyes, purposefully slowing my breathing to trick myself into falling into a deep slumber.

Again, it doesn't work out too well, and I find myself crying. This time crying more out of my frustration at not being able to fall asleep soundly than my heartbreak that seemed hellbent on making my life a misery.

Crying is something I now considered a ritual to do to fall asleep. This past month I've been doing so without fail, only falling asleep after I was emotionally drained. So I cried myef until I've fallen to sleep. A sleep which only bring my four hours of rest before my routined, mundane daily life kickstarted again.

However, the boring cycle I inhabited came to an abrupt halt when someone hammered a heavy fist against my front door one day, indicating that I had a guest. I hadn't had one of those for quite a while now because I'd been refusing to meet my best friends, feeling that if we did hang out I'd only depress the others.

So it's more than just surprising for me to comprehend that I had a visitor at my doorstep after long months of plain solitude and silence.

Still, I managed to pull myself together through my bewilderment, throw on a hoodie to conceal the white tee messily stained with specks of soy sauce, grapple for my round, silver specs, and descend my winding staircase with my eyebrows furrowing together in wonder.

"Hurry up and open the door, bro! It's cold out here!"

My footsteps faltered almost immediately at the voice emanating from the other side of the door. My movement came to a total stop in the middle of my staircase with my eyes narrowed at my front door with suspicion.

"Bro, you dickwho-! I know you're in there! I can't believe you'd let your dear brother freeze to death on your doorstep!"

I scoffed at his words before turning around and walking back up the stairs to ignore my brother's rather dramatic wails.

"I can hear the neighbourhood on the other side of the door you're playing 'afraid' one of the fucking tracks on my mixtape!"

I stilled at Kaden's quick identification of the song playing softly on my surround system speakers. The song which, yes, partakes a four-minute slot in the stupid disk Kaden had offered me, and the song which I had grown excessively fond of over these past couple of weeks. Constantly finding myself replaying the song a good few times before I pretty much have the entire set of lyrics embedded into my memory.

"Oh, come on! This is not fair! I love the neighbourhood and you know this so why are you depriving me off by closing me off?" Kaden whined. "Afraid is one of my favorites, godamn it!"

Silently I rolled my eyes, tucking my hands into the pockets of my ripped jeans, continuing my ascension to the comfortable confine of my bedroom.

"Hold on, wasn't Sam's birthday the passcode to your house?" Kaden thought aloud, causing me to stiffen for the umpteenth time that day and swiftly look over my shoulder, slightly alarmed. I watched, wide-eyed, at the silhouette moving behind the glass paneling of my front door.

I run down the stairs before I know it, unsteadily taking two steps at a time, dashing towards the front door that beeped softly. An indicator that the door was unlocked. As soon as the door edged open almost tentatively, I sprint toward it, slamming my side into the hardwood door and pushing the door closed with my upper body weight, all the while feeling determined to not have to deal with my irritating older brother.

Kaden didn't let the door slam shut in his face though, as he counteracted the sudden propelling force behind the door by pushing back just as hard, grunting a little with the effort.

"I don't wanna see you, you fucking fucker." I gritted out, annoyed at my brother's almost admirable persistence.

"Bro, this is so embarrassing! People are staring!" Kaden hissed lowly before raising his voice, speaking in a friendly, light tone to someone I can't identify.

"Oh, hey there, Mrs. Barnett! Long time no see!"

"Get off my doorstep before I fucking lodge a bullet in your forehead."

"I came down here from my apartment with homemade fried rice and some of my video games, hoping I could be a good brother by distracting you from your break up, but this is what I get? Threats?"

"We haven't broken up. We've just temporarily disbanded!" I grunted out with evident rage.

"Stage one of a break up: Denial." Kaden said in a light, sing-song tone that only managed to infuriate me further.

"Oh, fuck off!" I roared, bare feet digging into my plush carpet, with my shoulder pressing the door hard.

"Come on, I got sushi too!" Kaden whined, ramming his sneaker-clad foot into the small gap in the door and pushing back with so much force, the bottom of the door caught onto my little toe, making me yelp out in alarm and hurriedly retract my foot away before it was squished completely by the door.

"Fuck." I cursed under my breath when I noticed a grinning Kaden standing before me, fried rice boxes balanced in one hand whilst the other languidly pushing his hair off his forehead.

"I'm loving what you've done with the place." He hummed with a pinch of blatant sarcasm, waving a lazy hand at the incredulously messy state of my penthouse home.

"Just what the fuck do you want from me, you persistent fuckass?"

"Your time, that's all I ask," Kaden beamed at me. "And your computer, and some forks." He said cheerfully, walking past me and heading into the front room.

With balled fists and gritted teeth, I stormed into the front room to see Kaden settling himself on my white leather settee, placing the fried rice boxes on the coffee table, and tapping his foot to the beat of the song playing on my sound system.

"Kaden, seriously I am gonna-"

"One game," Kaden glanced upwards with his eyes bright. "That's all I ask."

I suddenly felt so exhausted my body was so incredibly tired and weary from ingesting copious amounts of high-in-sugar energy drinks this morning after waking up a groggy mess.

Yet I was glaring at Kaden through lidded eyes. I just wanted, desperately wanted him to leave already perhaps leave the sushi here though so I can conform to my body's wishes and crash onto my warm, warm bed.

But I knew Kaden. I've experienced beforehand his high levels of pure adamancy and I know he won't let me sleep peacefully until he gets want he wants.

Weakened, I mindlessly allowed myself to drag my heavy limbs towards the settee adjacent to Kaden and allowed my burning hatred for Kaden to simmer down to something bearable when I seated myself near him.

"One fucking game," I muttered. "And then you're out of here."

"Got it."

The one game we'd both agreed on turned into two, then three, then four, and then to whatever number we were on now. We furiously thumbed at our consoles, staring at the television screen with narrowed, focused eyes.

Our half eaten fried rice long forgotten and sat idly on the coffee table's surface.

Despite my almost crippling descent from a high sugar rush to a high sugar crush, I forced myself to stay awake to resolve the increasing gap of character lives Kaden had over me.

I was really too competitive for my good, definitely too determined to not lose to my twin brother hence our elongated play and poorly discarded lunch. I noticed my younger twin yearning to hack off some well-needed weapons from my archive which made me laugh mentally.

All blatant displays of hostility were put on hold, temporarily causing my frustration to decimate into something that sit at the back of my mouth. Like the aftertaste of something bad concerning Kaden. I was so focused on the game and was entirely unaware of him sitting near me, curled up into the arm of my settee and cursing inaudibly under his breath, frantic thumbs twiddling the controls.

'It's almost nice'

Is what the little voice in my head stated plainly, and it was true. It was sorta nice competitively playing with someone for once and it was sorta nice of Kaden to swing by or 'force his way in' with some food and video games and his company. He didn't have to, but it was nice.

That was until Kaden purposefully killed off his character, wordlessly setting his games to console down on the coffee table, and starting packing away our half-eaten fried rice and stained forks.

"Why'd you do that for? You just killed off all four lives-"

"You need to sleep." Kaden shrugged. "And eat healthily, and exercise and drink plenty of water. I mean, just look at the state of you." He murmured pointedly, wrinkling his nose at my disgruntled self.

"You look nasty. Add showering regularly to that list too."

"We could've finished off that level at least, it was basically done and-"

"Bro?"

"Mm?" I grunted out almost aggressively.

"Sleep, okay?"

"Fucking okay," I muttered bitterly, bringing my socked feet up onto the settee and tucking them under my body, reluctantly adjusting myself to fill the expanse of leather and get myself semi-comfortable enough for a well-needed nap.

I set my head on the arm of my settee and watched through lidded eyes a calm Kaden tying the simply red material of his box up into a knot.

"Bro?"

"What?" I mumbled with my eyelids fluttering close.

"Do you love Mc?"

"Yeah. A lot."

"Do you miss her?"

"I'm trying to sleep here not play fucking twenty questions," I muttered, "But yeah, I do."

"Then why haven't you gone back for her yet? I thought you'd be on it to get her back but you're here, losing your six-pack to pizza." Kaden commented, patting my stomach lightly which I replied by kicking him off the settee and onto the carpet below.

Groaning from where he was splayed out on the carpet with a dull ache in his back, Kaden retorted with a grunt.

"So what gives? Why aren't you mounting your trusty steed and riding into the sunset in hopes of finding your damsel in distress?"

No reply.

"Well, bro, I'll let you sleep but I'll be-"

"I'm scared...I'm scared she doesn't want me anymore." I said staring into the distance with a glazed look in my eyes.

"She's not Ikari, bro."

"I know," I said softly, fazed eyes meeting Kaden. "But that doesn't mean she won't leave. Everyone leaves me eventually. It's almost a curse."

And with that, I sighed shakily, and turned on my side, looking away from Kaden and closed my eyes.

"Have a safe journey back, fucker."

.

Mc focus.

.

The camera was placed on the bed, tilted slightly upwards to capture me. I cupped my face with my hands and puffed my cheeks out endearingly. I laid on my front on the unmade bed, staring at the camera's lens with lidded, tired eyes.

"Hey Jake. I went to Nymos yesterday and he offered to take me to yours. I'm sorta contemplating on going because of two reasons though." I lifted two fingers in the air, using them to visually tick off my reasons. "One, because I'm putting all my trust into this guy I barely know and who could potentially harvest and then sell my precious organs on the freaking black market. Two, I-" I hesitated with my speech faltering suddenly.

"I... I don't know if you still want me."

I looked away from the camera, swallowing noticeably before speaking softly. "Is that, is that why you haven't contacted me yet? Because you maybe don't want me anymore?" I send 'him' a strained-looking smile.

"If that's the case then that's, that's okay. It's okay. I understand. It's normal for people's minds to change quickly. I just wish-" I duckd my head, fixing my spectacles. "I just wish that if that's the case, you rather have told me immediately than have me come down here, looking for you like some, I don't know, really desperate idiot?" I let out a shaky breath, humourlessly laughing a little at my words.

"Maybe it's because I haven't been the best girlfriend? I mean, I did get you hit on the forehead by that baseball bat-wielding freak and made you sleep on all those stained couches and tried knocking you out with that vase but that was before we got together so does that count? Oh, and I ate your food sometimes when you weren't looking and..." Feeling guilty I suddenly looked away, biting my lower lip slightly.

"Let's concentrate on more pressing matters like the fact that I'm going to god-knows-where with your brother. He could potentially sell me off to some bastard. But if he tried to, it'll be okay because you see, I called up Dan yesterday about what I'm doing and he's still sorta upset with me, but he grudgingly activated a tracking device on my phone so he can monitor my whereabouts."

"Also, I gotta call him every hour to reassure him that I'm alive and relatively well. If I don't call him, he's just gonna have to assume I'm in trouble and send a SWAT team to my location. But hopefully, it doesn't come to that resolution."

I crossed my fingers for luck at my words, trying to look optimistic for the camera.

"But anyways bye, for now, angry bird. I'll see you soon if your twin doesn't decide to kill me!"

Smiling at the camera's lens, I reached over to thumb at the "stop recording?" button, promptly causing the recording to halt abruptly, submerging itself into darkness.

~

Slightly uncomfortable, I shifted the camcorder to my hands, unknowingly turning the camera to capture my face from a low angle, gifting Jake a lovely view of my chin. I plastered a small smile at the wary man before fumbling with the camcorder, wandering over to the elevator that was open for the taking uneasy, I stepped unsteadily inside the mechanical beast of an elevator and punched the button indicating 'fifth floor'.

Settling into the back of the elevator whilst glancing anxiously at the four walls of the metal compartment that trapped me in momentarily, I shakily exhaled before lifting the camcorder to my face, sending a small smile at the lens.

"Claustrophobia."

I said weakly with my eyes flickering upwards at the band of numbers that line the ceiling of the elevator, glowing a soft red when the elevator passed said numbered floor. In a focused manner, I subconsciously mouthed numbers that light up a faded crimson, accounting for the floors of the apartment complex.

"I can do this, I can do this, I can do this, I can do this."

"Please stand clear of the elevator doors as they open." The robotic voice spoke.

"Well, damn, don't you look like a real cutie?" Nymos spoke suddenly. The camera still concentrated on my face through an awkward low angle, clearly capturing my perplexed facial expression. My eyes widened a fraction at the sight of Nymos crowding me frontwards. I choked.

"Uh, thanks! And you look really cute today too!"

My cheeks immediately colored crimson at my words. My embarrassment made obvious. "Fuck, that's not what I-"

Nymos chuckled just before the camcorder was suddenly switched off by a flustered me with my fumbling fingers hurriedly digging into the "stop recording?" button and cutting my video to an abrupt halt.

~

Internally, I cursed myself at my absurd compliment, because Kaden Dalton looked nothing like cute in those sinfully torn-up jeans and that long-sleeved white sweater that practically strained under the guy's toned biceps. An denim jacket in one hand and in other...

A tiny, caramel-colored pup? A tiny, caramel-colored pup that had its sharp canines sunk into the sleeve of his sweater, gnawing away at the woolen material almost petulantly, said animal now hissed violently at me upon noticing me frowning down at her.

"Ah," Nymos hummed, noticing my widened eyes on the pup in his arms.

"This is Lex's precious pup. Isa. I call her rabid bitch lovingly though. Don't I, sweetheart?" Nymos smiled down at the pup, raising his other hand to pet isa between her ears.

The small pup was quick to nip harshly at his fingers, causing Nymos to grit out a strained "Fuck!" And hastily retract his hand away. "Rabid bitch is fitting, no?" He asked, seething.

"She's pissy with almost everyone except fucking Lex."

"Rabid bitch, huh," I said, gulping at the threatening growls emanating from such a fluffy-looking, small animal.

"How come I didn't see her yesterday?"

"The rabid bitch came back from Tokyo last night, because Lex couldn't take care of her. Because she's with Sam supporting him on his race. I'm put on dog-sitting duty for the day or even week." He scowled, glaring at the dog clawing his sweater to pieces.

"Oh."

"So, what's with the camcorder?" He queried as a distraction, stepping forwards into the elevator and taking place beside me. "Haven't seen a model as old as that since I was a kid." He suddenly commented, leaning past me slightly to press the button labeled 'G' for the ground floor.

I, practically pressed up against the wall of the small compartment due his incredible build and studied him through the corner of my eye, watching his movements warily in case he decided to suddenly break out of character and pull out a menacing looking, serrated knife from behind isa tawny fur and slice me to pieces then and there.

Struggling to breathe regularly with Nymos standing so close to my side...He was so close. I could fucking smell Nymos mint-based cologne. I squeaked out a reply.

"I'm using it to make videos for Jake to watch so he doesn't feel like he's missed out on anything."

Nymos, slightly surprised at my response, turned his head to face me then, warm silver eyes studying me as a small smile breaks out on his face, a cute dimple that had me gulping hard presenting itself.

"Bro hit the jackpot with you, hasn't he?" He said, turning away with a grin on his face. I reddened at the comment.

"Thank you?" I replied uncertainly, self-consciously fumbling with the clunky camcorder in my hand.

The elevator doors parted once more, revealing the square space of a lobby that Nymos stepped into first, distracted by an impatient isa trying to scramble out of his grasp. I followed after them, keeping a safe distance just in case isa decided to launch herself at my face and embed her sharp claws into my features.

"Is isa coming with us?" I asked, hoping the temperamental pup wasn't going to be the one to accompany us.

"Unfortunately, yes. Her mom thinks we're going out for walkies at time like this." Nymos gritted out, jerking his face away from isa when she hurriedly scampered up his chest, pressing the mouthful of soft fur into the his mouth.

"Little does she know that we're going for a three-hour long 'walkie' to the outskirts of Duskwood."

"Nymos," I exhaled, stopping in my tracks, "If you know where they are, why don't you just give me their addresses and I'll make my way up? you don't need to make all this effort."

.

Nymos focus.

.

"It's not necessary no, but I'd like to do it."

"Why?"

Seriously though, why do I wanna take her to him and them? Why not just send her off on her own? Is it because I feel like playing cupid?

Because I wanna see Jale happy again by reuniting him with a screaming baby? Because I wanna be in my brother's good books again? Because I wanna be spiteful and ruin Ikari's efforts to separate them?

.

Mc focus.

.

"Well," Nymos drawled out, turning round slowly and thinking through his answer. "Because I wanna get to know my future sister-in-law?" He suggested lazily.

His suggestion had me choking on my spit, coughing hard when I tried to surpass the sudden choking.

Nymos simply grinned, turning around and walking towards the opened entrance and heading straight out of it whilst I spluttered with disbelief.

Recovering from my fit of disbelief, I jogged after him, red in the face from choking on my spit and my backpack thumping loudly against my shoulders with every movement I made.

"Wait!" I yelled after Nymos, "That's a.... sorta plausible reason but!" Still jogging, I shrugged my backpack off my shoulders and unzipped the accessory.

"There's bound to be a reason why you're doing all this for me when you don't have to, so  just state your price!"  Breathless I rummaged messily through the contents of my backpack, stumbling after Nymos, finally grasping my checkbook and pulling it out.

Nymos stopped by an Mercedes parked just outside the apartment complex, glinting almost dangerously under the winter sunlight.

"Mc, I own the latest Mercedes model. I own even more expensive cars that are stowed away in three garages all over the country. I own eight penthouse suites, six villas, two private jets, night clubs distributed in Tokyo and Duskwood, fucking farmland somewhere in the middle of China that I don't even bloody need-

"You'll do this all for free then?"

"Huh? When did I said that? Money is money," The grin on his face only made me roll my eyes in response. "Kidding. I don't require anything in return but you can always pay the fast food order I'm gonna get at the drive-thru." He hummed, rounding the hood of the car with an upset isa still pursuing her bout of scampering about with little grunts emanating from her mouth.

I was standing a little off to the side of the Mercedes and sighed at Nymos words, shoving my checkbook back inside my backpack, and zipped it up distractedly. I stifled a laugh at the sight of Nymos wrestling an outraged isa into the bright pink travel carrier seated in the backseats of the car. Smiling to myself, I walked towards the passenger seat of the car and tugged at the handle of the door, remembering something.

"Oh, and just wanted to warn you now that you shouldn't try anything iffy.  Because I have a fifty men swat team tailing your ass and they won't be afraid to shoot you down without any proper warning. So no slicing me open and selling my organs on the black market, okay?"

Nymos snorted at my garbled words, saying nothing else but a simple.

"Alright, that's noted." Which was just about enough to convince me to relax my stance and slide into the seat of his car.

An angered isa jabs at her chew toy with her front paw, snarling at the way it squeaks in response to her squishing, Nymos glanced at the rearview mirror, noting the way she hisses at him from time to time, reminding him just how much she disapproves of him.

Nymos just simply rolled his eyes at her hostile behavior and retrained his gaze on the asphalt road stretching out before him, completely disregarding her behavior.

I was seated on his left in the passenger seat, and rested my elbow on the ledge of the window, cupping my cheek and staring outside, seeming to be in deep thought. Ten minutes, I've been like this. ten minutes, we've been driving and Nymos slowly, slowly growing restless at the lack of speech, just the irritating squeaks of isa chew toy filling the silence between them.

The twin wasn't one to feel comfortable during quiet, slow drives. He preferred racing down streets with his heartbeat hammering against his ribcage and listening to the radio churn out mainstream tunes which only act as background noise for him to relax in.

"Wanna listen to some music?" Nymos finally gritted out, his tone concluding he had enough of listening to the auditory abuse.

Dazed I broke away from my thoughts and glanced out at Nymos, blinking, "Hm? Of what genre?"

"It's burnt disk I made a while ago of rap, r&b its a jumble, really."

"Sure. I'm pretty much open to all kinds of music so," I shrugged, looking away and returning to gazing out of the window, "Hit me with what you got."

Nymos grinned, placated with the idea of no longer having to be ensconced in infuriatingly loud squeaks. He reached over with one hand, sliding a cd into the slot and pressing play-

"What are the rules for breakfast today?

What are the words I'm forbidden to say? I need to let my hair down and grow up like a real ass bitch

A real ass bitch, bitch

What are the rules for breakfast today?

What are the words I'm forbidden to say?

I need to let my hair down and grow up like a real ass bitch

A real ass bitch, bitch

I've been beat up my whole life

I've been shot down, kicked out twice

Ain't no stoppin' me tonight

I'ma get all the things I like

I've been beat up my whole life

I've been shot down, kicked out twice

Ain't no stoppin' me tonight

I'ma get all the things I like."

Started, I hurriedly reached for the pause button, abruptly halting the song with a stuttering laugh following.

"Hah, ha, fuck. How about we just stick to the radio, hm?" Nymos raised an amused eyebrow at me.

"Thought you were open to all music, though?"

"Oh, well yeah. But I actually, you know what? It's your car, your music."

"Yeah?"

"Yup-"

"Break necks, I'm the chiropractor

Come on down, you know I got ya

Real shit, feelin' saturated

Real love, this might fuck the haters

Break necks, I'm the chiropractor

Come on down, you know I got ya

Real shit, feelin' saturated

Real love, this might fuck the haters!"

"-Okay, Jesus Christ." I wheezed out once I cut off the music again. "Can we just uh, listen to some radio?"

Nymos laughed nodding and moved to remove the disk.

"Radio, it is." He hummed, and seconds later, random calm music spilled out of the car's sound system, causing me and Nymos to immediately burst into song well, sing along enthusiastically for 0.5 of a second before they trail off, perplexed by the other's bout of singing.

"...You like Selena Gomez too?"

"Do you like Selena Gomez?" We both asked simultaneously. My eyes widened when a grin formed on Nymos face.

"Yeah!"

"Yeah!"

Chuckling, Nymos leaned over and turned up the volume, singing along with a laughing me. I soon accompanied him, following up with slightly off, wild arm gestures.

The six minutes it takes to slide into the Mcdonald's drive-thru was full of an apt conversation about what song we favorite the most in Selena Gomez's album.

It was safe now to say that I was reasonably comfortable around Kaden Dalton. I settled against the leather upholstery of my seat, sipping at my can of coca cola through a straw and smiling to myself, mouthing along the lyrics to Lyus to you and me.

"Hey, screaming baby you sure you don't wanna order anything?" Nymos asked for the third time, glancing over his shoulder at me. I was caught off guard and shook my head quickly.

"Alright," Nymos hummed, returning to reciting his order to the Mcdonald's employee who seemed to be more concentrated on Nymos' car than his order of burgers and fries. I stifled a chuckle at this, leaning down slightly to haul my backpack onto my lap, unzipping it to gain access to the camcorder shoved inside. I felt in the mood to film a little for Jake.

The camera flickered on to show me frowning at myself, attempting to sort my locks by using my reflection in the camcorder's lens. Soon becoming distracted by how unkempt my hair was, almost forgetting the camcorder's recording my actions until I feel a jolt coursing through my body. I smiled sheepishly at the camera with my hand falling from my hair. My embarrassed, little smile was hurriedly replaced with a scowl when two brown paper bags, stained with grease courtesy of the fast food inside were both placed on my lap.

"The healthy shit is for you in case you get hungry. Figured you'd prefer carrot sticks over the big mac." Nymos turned away, taking the takeaway cup of coffee off the McDonald's worker and thanking her.

"Thanks for that Ele- Elena? That is your name? Huh, a cute name for a cute girl."

I listened to Nymos flirt, rolling my eyes at the camera and pushing my spectacles further up the bridge of my nose. Oh, Lex is so going to kill you, Kaden.

I rifled through the paper bags in search of my 'healthy shit' and I soon found it with my fingertips grazing across a couple of packets of bite-sized carrot sticks. Pulling them out of the bag,  I scrunched my nose with distaste at the sight of condensation mingling with warm carrot sticks.

I leaned forward to set the camcorder onto the dashboard before me, making sure the lens faced me before tearing the packet of carrot sticks open and taking one out. Hesitantly I nibbled slightly at one end of the vegetable stick.

"It's not that bad? A little warm, a little watery but otherwise it's alright."

Isa growled from the backseats emanate, causing me to glance over my shoulder at isa sitting inside her pet carrier and glaring at me with something akin to dislike in her eyes. I glanced down at my piece of a carrot stick and looked up at Isa.

I offered the carrot stick in her direction.  And to my surprise when I slotted the carrot piece inside the pet carrier through the latch isa immediately grabbed ahold and started gnawing furiously at the vegetable piece, whilst making what sounds like passive-aggressive yips at me. I turned back around to face the front.

"Did it hurt when you fell-"

"Sir, I have other customers to attend to, so please leave now unless you'd like to order something else from the menu."

"Are you on the menu?"

"No."

"Damn, El, why you gotta be so cold?"

I ignored Nymos' attempts to flirt with that girl. Because I knew damn well Lex will beat his ass for that. Instead, I distractedly rummaged a little through the brown paper bags, taking note of their cloying contents which I pulled a face at. The stench of meat overwhelmed my senses.

"Why are there three of everything?"

"Huh?" Nymos glanced over at the greasy paper bag I was holding up, heavy with the three messily parcelled burgers inside. "Oh. they're all for me."

"All of them??"

"Yup." Nymos tore his gaze off the girl again to beam at me, evidently happy with his choice of breakfast. The wide grin he wore on his mouth dropped however when he noticed the clear disapproval etched onto my face. "What? I'm a growing dude. I need the extra junk." He muttered defensively.

~

The camera was kickstarted awake by me. I was currently sipping at a can of coke, languidly placing the camcorder on the dashboard of Nymos car, making sure both of us are present within the camera's focus. Whilst I adjusted the camcorder's placement and waved a little hello in greeting, Nymos spoke over his mouthful of burger.

"So," He swallowed his mouthful of burger. "I said I wanted to get to know my future sister-in-law better, and like what's a better method to do that that by playing twenty questions?" He took another bite of his second burger. "I'll start first."

He was chewing slowly, thoughtfully, whilst I sat back in my seat and picked up my mobile phone. Nymos cleared his throat smiling slyly.

"So screaming baby... what are your kinks?"

I glanced up from my phone to blink at him confusedly. Is he serious?

"Hm? What are kinks?" I asked sarcastically, crossing my arms.

"..."

"Okay." He inhaled sharply before raising his voice, startling me. "Folks, don't panic but we have an Innocent among us-" isa barked in alarm at his volume of voice.

"Nymos, what wait-"

"We keeping things PG-13 for screaming baby here on now for her to stay pure and a child of god-" isa joined in with his exclaiming by barking loudly. Creating a commotion that had me wincing. I rolled my eyes unimpressed.

"Oh god, will you stop I know what kin-"

"It's happening, everybody stay calm, stay fucking calm, Isa!" Isa barked harder.

"Kaden it's none of your business!" I groaned, making him laugh even harder.

"Of course, you'd say that. Miss innocent screaming baby."

Annoyed I furrowed my dark brows at his side profile.

"Yeah? Well, what are your kinks, Mr I'm not innocent?" As soon as my words left my mouth, Nymos' laughter slowly trailed off to awkward little chuckling.

"Hmm," Nymos' warm silver eyes darted away from my questioning gaze, coughing unsubtly as he does so.

"How about we try not to make things awkward for each other since you're gonna be marrying my bro soon, hm?"

I rolled my eyes at his lame response. Isa seemed to think it to be a poor excuse too as she sent a dismissive glance at Nymos, growling softly with distaste.

"But! I can inform you on my bro kinks if you wanna know?" Nymos shoot me a sleazy wink which only made me laugh in response. I shook my head with disbelief at his personality.

"So?" He looked expectantly at me, suggestively raising his eyebrows. I was embarrassed now.

"Alright, alright. What are Jake's kinks?"

Nymos stifled a smile that I doesn't see when I very unsubtly pretend to seem uninterested by examining the ingredients listed on the side of my can of coca cola.

"Hmm," Nymos almost laughs at how quickly my head snapped upwards. A clear indicator that he had my full attention.

"Mm... I'm fairly certain about one kink he's into. Like I think he's super invested in it." He side-eyed me carefully. In reply, I chewed unconsciously on my white-striped straw.

"And what is that specific kink?"

"I think bro's biggest kink is," Nymos lowered his voice ominously. "Bestiality."

I gulped nervously.

"And what is bestiality?" I took a measured sip of my coke to perhaps brace myself for what he was about to say

Nymos brought a fist to his mouth, biting down on his knuckles to stifle a heart-wrenching sob that had me shuffling in my seat, looking so fucking scared.

"Bro, he- He likes fucking little animals."

I choked and unintentionally spewed coca cola all over Nymos. Isa barked excitedly deciding then and there that I was her favorite, second to Lex though for spraying Nymos with lukewarm coco cola and offering her those delicious carrot sticks earlier.

[ace-beef]

You have ocs? 👀👀👀👀👀Tell us about them

Yes! I have so many I don't know what to do with them all sometimes!! I won't go through LITERALLY all of them because I must have at least 40 or something at this point (and that is not a joke, I remember counting them all once and I know I got to a number in the 40s lmao) but I will go through the ones that I do the most stuff for.

I’m also going to add in a read more break because even though I don’t talk about ALL of my OCs, I still talk about a decent amount of them and give somewhat chunky descriptions of the main ones.

First of all, I have an entire page on my blog that gives the run down for all of my DnD OCs, including base stats, backstory, the amount of sessions I've played them for etc. Currently I have 15 of the silly little dudes and I have even written a few fics about some of them! They can be found on my AO3.

Next, we've got OCs that are a part of my main writing project: Finders Keepers. This is a book idea that I really hope to write one day, and it actually spawned from a dream I had one night! I remember sitting bolt upright in the morning and thinking " I NEED to write this down" and then I scrambled out of bed and to my laptop to write it all down before I forgot too much. I will say that I had this original dream back in April 2020 and since then it has evolved and grown so SO much (I have a google doc with literally ALL of the info about the plot, characters, the magic mechanics, the enemies etc that currently is 13 pages long. If you're so desperate to look at this document then feel free to DM me for a link!). It follows four teenagers as they discover that there are dark forces in the world that seek to destroy humanity, and obviously they are the ones that need to stop it all and save the world! The four main characters of this and their sort of “main characteristics” are as follows: 

Faye Harper, 16, she/her; long golden blonde hair that is often tied back in a messy ponytail, pointed facial features, soft green eyes, tall for her age and tallest of the group, appears to be thin but is surprisingly strong, messy and scruffy in general, un-identical twin sister to Ewan, bit of a horse girl, outdoors-y, adventurous, creative, not afraid of much, explores everything she can (sometimes she explores a little too much and it gets her into trouble), brave and determined, works hard to achieve her goals and sticks to her beliefs and opinions, commanding and stubborn, can be impatient

Ewan Harper, 16, he/him; short and neat-ish blond hair the same shade as his sister, hazel eyes, kinda short for his age and the shortest of the group, chubby, acne, quite strong, a lot neater than his sister, has Pretty Boy potential, un-identical twin brother to Faye, animal nerd, also naturally outdoors-y but not as adventurous, has to get dragged into things by the others, the Mum Friend and the voice of caution, can be a tad childish, will be first on hand to help the others if they get injured, stubborn and rooted, anxious

Skylar Murphy, 16, they/them; black hair that’s cut in a sharp jawline bob with full fringe, warm brown eyes, average height, lean in build but still has a little bit of stock to them due to them being in good shape, small bit of acne, can speak both English and Japanese, English father, Japanese mother, both parents are very strict, casual nerd that mainly enjoys video games and cartoons, also really active and enjoys sports and exercise (especially skateboarding), is on the school’s netball and hockey teams, used to bully others in primary school, the Cool Kid, does not like to appear vulnerable or soft, aggressive and confrontational, determined, daring and quick thinking

Kaden Black, 16, he/him; brown eyes that are so dark they look black sometimes, somewhat round facial features, floofy brown hair that’s cut short except for at the front and sides where it parts in the middle into cheekbone-length curtains, acne, short but not as short as Ewan, average in build but a little on the larger side, broad shoulders, large round glasses, biggest nerd of the group and is into literally everything (particularly Star Wars, Bill and Ted), enjoys cosplay, history buff that enjoys researching things, absolutely riddled with ADHD, impulsive, eccentric fashion sense, chill and goes with the flow, can be impatient sometimes, good listener, fun sense of humour 

And then I have to also mention an important side character called The Keeper (real name is Waylon Foster), 56, he/him; wears a grey turtleneck jumper, thin black-brimmed reading glasses, fluffy grey hair, light grey facial scruff that is just a shade or two lighter than his hair, stocky but not exaggerated in build (has a bit of a dad bod), strong but also a little soft facial features, fairly tall, has an Anakin Skywalker-style scar over his right eye, soft and kind blue-grey eyes that don’t look Quite Right, the 'Old and Tired Mentor', Dad Energy, enjoys reading and learning new skills, good at teaching and communicating, soft, kind, caring, gentle and patient, aggressively protects the kids no matter the cost, can’t quite remember How To Human properly, quiet, humble, a little bit shy and reserved, sometimes can get lost in his thoughts

So that’s brushing the surface of Finders Keepers! Next, my other main creative project with OCs: The Van Helsing Project. This I would love to turn into an animated TV show, and this also has a large google doc of everything although it’s only 5 pages long (tbh it’s mainly just character descriptions and basic plot, I need to add stuff to it). This is about the grandson of the infamous Abraham Van Helsing continuing the family tradition of hunting monsters, and forming a team to aid him in this endless mission. I basically like to call it 1930s Scooby Doo but for adults because it has the same sort of format hehe. It was inspired by a couple of my absolute favourite films, Van Helsing (2004) and The Mummy (1999), as well as my favourite TV show, Jekyll and Hyde (ITV, 2015). Anyway here’s the gang and their main characteristics: 

Abdiel Van Helsing, early 30s, he/him; character design and personality is loosely based on Rick O’Connell from The Mummy: shortish messy hair, side parting, thick and short sideburns, ‘Obi Wan Chestnut’ in colour, bright green eyes that are almost unnaturally bright, a fairly strong and square jawline but not exaggerated, short scruff facial hair that’s slightly darker than his hair, thick and scruffy eyebrows but also not exaggerated, large scar diagonally across the nose as well as plenty of others on the body, strong and chunky in build but again not exaggerated, tall, wide grin, complete himbo but has a decent knowledge on a lot of monsters and how to hunt them, no actual superpowers but he’s just naturally talented and well trained, has ADHD, can be a bit too cocky for his own good but in an oddly charming way, care-free, playful and energetic, gets along with most people, casually flirts with pretty much anyone if he finds them attractive enough

Mary Frankenstein, early 30s, she/her; long bright ginger hair that is tied back in a high-ish ponytail with a sweeping side fringe, pale skin, lots of freckles, pale blue-grey eyes, pointed face and nose that is a little hooked in shape, large round glasses, gold cross-shaped earrings as well as a gold cross necklace, thin and average in height, shoulders slightly wider than hips, zoologist and cryptozoologist, wants to find out how monsters tick, how to kill them more effectively and how to cure and rehabilitate monsters if possible, can handle herself in a fight easily, confident, thoughtful and thorough, smart and intelligent, stern and serious, no nonsense attitude, blunt, cold and harsh (especially to those who don’t know her very well), develops feelings for Abdiel but really does not want to tell him about them

Quincey Harker, mid 30s, he/him; character design inspired by Keanu Reeves’ portrayal of Jonathan Harker (as if this version of John was Quincey’s dad): collarbone length straight black hair that is often tied back in a loose ponytail with shorter swoopy bits at the sides and complete with widow’s peak, somewhat pale skin, long and rounded face and nose, thin features, defined jawline, warm brown eyes, three large ‘claw mark’ scars over the left side of his face from the cheekbone to the chin as well as lots of other scars over the body, body is thin and lean but still somewhat muscular, tall and is a few inches taller than Abdiel, Protective Older Brother energy, grew up alongside Abdiel due to the Van Helsings and the Harkers keeping in touch and visiting each other frequently, also continued the family tradition of hunting monsters, quiet, calm, reserved, considerate, chilled out, has the capability to be chaotic and stupid because he’s sometimes enabled by Abdiel, good at picking up on other people’s emotions, good at comforting and looking after others, plays a big part in matchmaking Abdiel and Mary since both of them refuse to believe that the other could possibly like them

Cynthia Lanyon, late 20s, she/her; character design inspired by TGS Lanyon: soft brown skin, average in build but with surprisingly squishy cheeks, round and bright eyes that are a soft dark brown in colour, small and rounded features, dark brown ringlet curly hair that is fairly short and surprisingly well kept, almost always has a pair of goggles on her head (brass or copper in colour with varying colours of lenses), short, hourglass body, makes gadgets and weapons for Abdiel and others to use, knows chemistry, alchemy and mechanics, is autistic, shy and nervous with people to start out with but becomes cheerful and friendly once she gets to know others, very much at home in her workshop, enjoys telling people about the things she’s made, she can manage in a fight but will always be looking for a way out of it, prefers to be The Guy In The Chair, talks rather fast, easily anxious, creative and thoughtful, always tinkering with something 

Charlotte ‘Charlie’ Talbot; this character I haven’t properly developed yet, but her basic concept is she’s the team’s medical professional who wants to help and heal people, but during the show she becomes a werewolf and has to try and deal with these new animalistic and aggressive behaviours that she absolutely hates

Detective Samuel Drake, early 60s, he/him; shortish salt and pepper hair that has a bit of a curl to it, thick and angular moustache of the same colour as his hair, the beginnings of sideburns, bushy eyebrows, strong features including a prominent nose that has clearly been broken in the past, washed out blue eyes, rounded face and jawline, rectangular rimless glasses that are always pushed right up to the bridge of his nose, average in height and build but definitely has a bit of a Dad Bod going on, is not one of the main hunting party/group and works for the British police and is pretty much one of the very few people in the police that know about Abdiel’s unique job so does his best to make sure that Abdiel and his team don’t get into too much trouble, childhood friend of Abdiel’s mother, friendly and witty, focuses completely on the task at hand and becomes stern and serious, has a very good moral compass and makes sure that people know this by breaking the 4th wall and lecturing the audience while staring directly at the camera (the other characters don’t even know that there is a 4th wall to break so they are greatly confused by this behaviour) 

Next I’m just gonna list some OCs that aren’t a part of these main three things, some are independent and some are for already existing media. I’m also not going to go in as much detail as the ones above (because this post is long enough already lmao):

Drew Hunter, an Outlast OC that becomes a werewolf and is admitted to Mount Massive Asylum by his sister Sarah. Turns out the asylum has a whole section for those who suffer from clinical lycanthropy as well as actual lycanthropy. All of these patients are treated by the cold-hearted and oddly soft-spoken Doctor Zachery Baines. I have written one fic about how Drew was sent to Mount Massive on my AO3 and I do have another WIP of him meeting Dr Baines but I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever finish that one lmao. Maybe one day, we shall see. 

Oscar Hart, a BBC Ghosts OC who is a medieval ghost that died during a training accident on the grounds that would become Button House. He desperately wanted to join the next crusade but he was always kinda clumsy and accident prone, so he never made it. I have a tumblr post giving the run down on this sweet boy.

Lucid Dream and Canine King, who are Killjoy OCs. Spawned from my reawakened obsession with My Chemical Romance this year, I decided to finally delve into and understand the Danger Days lore. Lucid Dream actually was a pre-existing OC from when me and some friends played the Cyberpunk tabletop game once (they were just called Dream back then), but that campaign died a year or two ago and since then this OC had been left; they’d gotten dusty. So upon deciding to make Killjoy OCs I went “hold on a second, Dream would fit so perfectly into this universe” so I gave them a makeover and now they’re a Fabulous Killjoy. Canine King is an originally made Killjoy and tbh I haven’t developed them much, but they’re kind of a sona, and also kind of me going “hey what if we added werewolves to this universe”, because putting werewolves into everything is kinda my thing. 

Elizabeth Wolfe, an OC for The Glass Scientists, a lodgersona that I made back when everyone was making funky little lodger versions of themselves. Ironically I’ve kind of fallen off TGS but I do still really enjoy Elizabeth and her tiny reanimated dinosaurs. I have two fics on her becoming a member of the Society and the antics that ensure on my AO3.

Charles Starr, an eccentric mad scientist that basically spawned from me thinking one day “hey Charlie Day would play a really good mad scientist”. So basically he’s a combination of Charlie Kelly and Newt who’s been thrown into that stereotypical mad scientist vibe like Doc Brown from Back To The Future. He’s a flexible OC, like I can put him into different universes for fun, so he’s definitely going to feature in The Van Helsing Project at least once. 

Emily and Gayle, who were part of my original writing project that I had before Finders Keepers. This was actually also based on a dream! The concept was basically ‘Good Omens Except With Vampires And Werewolves’. Emily is a werewolf and Gayle is a vampire, both have gone to university at the same time and have ended up being in the same halls. It takes them far too long to realise that the other is a supernatural creature and therefore hilarity ensues. When they do finally realise though, they decide to team up and become best friends (eventually more than friends) as Emily is no longer in a werewolf pack and Gayle left their old vampire clan long ago. I do still want to write this one day because I think it’ll be fun! 

Max and Kit, two pirates that also spawned from a dream. Max and his nonbinary wife Kit co-captain a pirate ship together, and with their faithful crew they explore the world. They also have a pet hippocampus! 

Canine Anarchy, a band formed of 5 werewolves (hey look more werewolves, I do so much shit with werewolves, everything is better with werewolves), Kyle on guitar and lead vocals, Daniel on base guitar and backing vocals (although he does do lead vocals sometimes), Ash on guitar who does all of the cool and technical riffs and melodies, Amy on lead/backing vocals and keyboard, Ellie on drums and backing vocals. These guys have been bouncing around my head since I was a teenager, because I came up with them during long car journeys. I would stare out of the window and imagine this band playing all of the songs I listened to on these long journeys. In terms of the music they play, well I was an emo teenager so you can already imagine the kind of bands I was listening to. The reason I’ve added them to this list (because I wasn’t planning on adding OCs I came up with before I was 16), is because I recently gave them a makeover. Some of them have new names and new designs and I’ve finally found a name for the band that I actually like! 

So yeah that’s a decent amount of my OCs! I always have some of these funky little dudes spinning around in my head at all times, mostly it’s either the DnD ones, Finders Keepers, or The Van Helsing Project, but the others get turns too occasionally! And obviously I am always down to talk about ANY of them. 

[cloud-system-shenanigans]

MLP redesigns

we recently started a project of redesigning all of the mane six! The Fluttershy one is the first one I made, then after trying to do Pinkie Pie I realized it would be much easier to just draw them myself instead of tracing over their bases. I’m not used to drawing equine creatures so it isn’t quite my usual style, but I’m learning ^_^. I tried to make Rarity look a bit chubby? I hope that comes across well, I don’t think it does since there’s not another drawing in my style to go off of -kaden

[scatterpoob]

Hello! Im scatterpoob/Kidspob. You can mayb c me on X. im not here to Post art, im just here to make a Blog about My life. My friends Calls me Ange or Maria clara, or History Fan girl.

I'm Also sick. Im also A Filipino Whos Loves NMT, EL FILIBUSTER, MCI/Maria clara at Ibarra, Gasa4/Snackcore, Regretevator. I always go to School everyday, even when im sick. I love to Draw, Write, sing and dance. I dont show my face because im Insecure. + I also dont show Myself Bc i Have Stretch Marks on the arms and Thighs.(Im so sorry if this is disgusting,)

I have A Very high Fever/Flu whenever im Sick. Sometimes i swear secretly at school, and i also am Bad at Math. I watch YTs. They are; Temprist, Omma, Flamingo, Kaden Fumblebottom, & laughability. Im a minor & i dont like nsfw, Proshippers, comshipper, Islamphobic, and etc.

Im a Bit Chubby too, My height is 5'4 too.

[chubbyheroesworthyheroes]

Same Kaden anon, 5 9, 14 and 19

5) stuffing/feeding/etc.9) button popping/seam ripping/etc14) weighing and/or measuring and/or numbers kink19) fat camp AU setting

It didn’t seem to matter how light-hearted he was, or how beautifully maintained his fur was, Kaden’s father didn’t see him as fit to take over as chief yet. Everyone loved him, and despite his sometimes air-headed tendencies, he was exceptionally good at speaking with others and handling the duties of chief – which, honestly, was such an outdated title nowadays. The Kitsune had integrated rather well with humans, time marching on and on, and it was almost like they’d never been a hidden people at all! They lived and worked just like everybody else, though they still maintained close ties as a race.

And, apparently, being the next in line as chief of their people, Kaden was expected to look and act like the quintessential Kitsune. He had the acting part down pat, but the looking…? Well, his father seemed to think he didn’t fit the bill.

Most people thought Kitsune were all svelte and lithe. They had to look look like models. They had to be pale as moonlight or sun-kissed and glowing. Bushy tails and perfectly pointed ears. Fur with a softness that simply couldn’t be matched or compared to anything else. Kaden certainly had the most luxurious fur around, and he had a pleasant enough tan from his time lounging or playing around outside. But…thin, he was definitely not; not by any definition of the word. Kaden enjoyed life, and most of the time, that meant spoiling himself! He slept in when he could, bought little trinkets that caught his eye, and ate whatever he had a craving for – usually something sweet, like fruity flavored candies.

This carefree style of living, of course, ended up leaving Kaden with a bit more…fluff than the average Kitsune. He was delightfully pear-shaped, wide hips and a round ass drawing even more attention to his gorgeous tail and vice versa. Chunky thighs that rubbed together whenever he walked, and meaty calves that were soft to the touch. His belly was soft and malleable and his chest was puffy with starter moobs, but neither were as big a star as his rear end – which suited him just fine. There was nothing better than sashaying around his favorite haunts, feeling eyes immediately go to his ass.

He had it, so why not flaunt it?

But, there was still the problem of being chief.

Kaden had agreed to go to a weight loss and diet correction center. At least, that’s what his father called it, but Kaden knew it was just fat camp for adults. He was humoring the old fox, but he’d only agreed to go on the condition of, if he didn’t end up losing any weight during his time here, his father would give him the chance to prove himself as a good chief.

Tit for tat, as it were. Kitsune were good at that sort of thing.

The place wasn’t really all that bad. It was out in the mountains; a shining lake, tons of trails to walk. It was all very scenic! Kaden was actually happy to get out of Hoshido’s busiest, modern city. The food didn’t even taste bad, like he was initially thinking; it was mostly just portion control and hardly any junk food. That’s not to say that there wasn’t any. If they met their personal workout and meal goals for the month, they were allowed to request one food item that wasn’t part of their regular diet at the center.

Kaden had stuck to his program – the trainers were all very nice, and he’d caught more than a few lingering touches or looks when working with him. He was actually banking on those little moments tonight…

See, he’d purposefully not requested anything for his cheat treat. Ditzy as he could be, Kaden was still a fox, and he could be clever. It was easy enough to tell one of his trainers that he’d forgotten to let the staff know what he wanted, and with a little schmoozing, he’d talked his way into getting the codes to the kitchen and food storage. At first, he simply snuck a few things here and there; an apple, a chocolate bar, some cookies or jerky. But, getting a taste of the good stuff – food he’d been craving ever since the day he got there – he slowly started to up the ante.

One night, he snuck an entire pie back to his room. It was a delicious, juicy blueberry one; at best, he would have only been able to request a small slice of it, but he had the whole thing to himself now. After a good while of eating smaller portions, an entire pie was actually a challenge to get through. After one or two thick slices, Kaden was moaning and groaning at the fullness, berry stained hands rubbing futilely at his stomach as he continued to eat. After all, he’d smuggled it from the kitchens, he had to get rid of all the evidence!

Every…last…crumb.

He’d felt sick all through the morning, but that taste and wonderful, warm full feeling was absolutely worth it! So, he kept on sneaking things, going bigger and bolder with his takes as the weeks turned into months. Most of the trainers were baffled at how he was putting on weight, not losing it, and the kitchen staff was starting to get suspicious at all the food going missing. It became a bit of a game to the Kitsune: just how much could he get away with? And just how much weight could he gain while he was supposed to be losing it all? The numbers on the scale at weigh-ins kept going up, and something about seeing a new result was just fun to him.

That’s when Kaden got it into his head to simply eat as much as he possibly could in one night.

Ears on a swivel, he crept through the halls of the stone and wood building. He knew all the noisy floorboards, where there were cameras, and what time staff stopped patrolling around the grounds. He was an easy going guy, but when Kaden wanted something, he knew exactly how to go about getting it.

Entering in the four digit code for the kitchens, Kaden slipped through the door on silent feet, hips brushing the door and doorframe as he did so. Rubbing his hands together, Kaden did a little dance as he surveyed everything the cache of food had to offer him, his belly and thighs jiggling with his erratic movements.

There was just so much to choose from!

He started in on the breakfast things: fruits of all kinds, easy to munch on and light on his stomach. Cereals, and toaster waffles – washed down with plenty of milk and even a swig or two of maple syrup; his mouth left sticky with the sweetness of it. He didn’t feel hungry at this point, but after all the food he’d been nicking, just this was hardly going to fill him up. Next came the premade lunches: salads that he could drown in dressings, sandwiches built with whatever he wanted to stuff between two pieces of bread. All the bread soaked up a good deal of room in his gut, and left him feeling rather bloated, but he wasn’t going to stop now! He hadn’t even made it to his favorite part yet!

Dinner items next, though Kaden did take a little break to munch on a few of the supposedly better for you kettle chips. The salty seasoning and crunch of them were addicting, and they helped to fill in some of the little gaps. This was where he got into the meats and easy to make, instant packaged things. Microwavable rice and orange chicken, fluffy mashed potatoes and all kinds of portioned out meals that he downed in record time.

At this point, Kaden was panting on the cool floor of the kitchen, legs splayed out in front of him and tail curled about his side. This was more than he’d ever eaten in his entire life, and it was definitely showing how much he’d shoved down his throat so far. His stomach was so tightly packed with food, it had rounded out in a hard dome. Rubbing it did little to actually ease the overburdened ache there – besides, it always felt better when someone else did it, but he was all on his lonesome here.

But, he’d made it, he’d reached the point where he could finish this whole night off with his favorite thing: ice cream.

Too full already to bother with eating it properly, Kaden simply nuked it in the microwave until it was melted enough that he could just drink it down like a milkshake. He mixed chocolate and vanilla together, creating a slurry of classic ice cream swirl goodness. Tipping the container back as he stood at the counter, Kaden chugged it. Some spilled past the corners of his mouth, dribbling down to his double chin, but the majority hit its mark in his stomach. It wasn’t entirely a pleasant feeling, being so thoroughly stuffed to the brim, but the taste of it all on his tongue was what kept him going.

Squeezing his eyes shut as he continued to gulp down the semi-cold slush, a series of high pitched tings caught his attention, quickly followed by the feel of the cold counter surface suddenly touching the underside of his gut.

He’d just popped the buttons right off his pajama shirt, his overstuffed belly rushing forward to rest in the open space.

Kaden shivered at the clinical chill seeping into his skin, setting the now empty container of ice cream off to the side as he groped around his belly in a food-drunk sort of manner. He felt absolutely enormous, and his gut was squealing at him to stop eating. He almost wanted to ignore it, but the Kitsune was fairly certain that if he ate anything else, he’d make himself well and truly sick.

No, it was best to just leave the mess, and waddle on back to his bed for the remainder of the night. He’d repay them in the morning!

[basickinkartist]

Could you draw domesticated Keaton and Kaden please?

They're both very eager to please. I hope this satisfies 50% of my inbox.

I feel like I should start doing my requests again...

[himbos-hotline]

To you I'm just a man [to me you're all I am]

Context: Hangman does pottery and reflects on his relationship with Kenny after all out while alone on his family farm. Hangman has issues and talks to a horse instead of a therapist. Takes place after the match against FTR in 2020. Word count: 7165 words Characters: "Hangman" Adam Page, Kenny Omega, the Jackson brothers. Mentions of Beth Pheonix [She's adam coles mother in a kid AU my big sibling and I are writing- kinda- but yeah. This could be seen as a spin off of that universe. I dont fuckin know.] Kaden the Horse, authors note: I have brainrot...I need mental help. But we all been knew. Triggers: suicide mention, self harm, breakups, A quick mention of parent death. Tiny mention of smut but no actual fucking. I think thats about it. Yeh... AO3

"I'll catch you." and Adam believed him. His voice is calm and heavy with gasping breaths and promise dances across the three simple words. And so he trusts him, he jumps and surrenders himself over to the glorious freefall of love and when Kenny whispers it in his ear again it's cold. It smacks him back into reality and he lays against the concrete of realness feeling betrayed and tricked.

He fell like a suicidal stranger and landed in the emptily cold arms of a man who peiced his shattered heart together again.

He tries not to think about it while he kneads the tough clay between his clammy hands, feeling it weave between his fingers. His knuckles are bruised and the small cuts sting as clay clings itself to his fingers. He had taken pottery up as a child, finding it easier to bury his hands into the dirty water instead of letting them shake by his sides as he stumbled uselessly over his words. His mother had smiled as he dug his chubby fingers into the clay and left behind small half moons and misplaced thumbprints. Somewhere in his distant memory, he remembers sitting on the floor of the old family farm, watching the small mugs harden in the oven, cheap paint cracking in a way that seems almost human.

The wheel in front of him creaks and a small, childish smile paints itself across Adam's face as he places the kneaded clay down and digs his nails into the familiarity of it all. Sitting in his old kitchen, the sound of farm animals outside the open window and the smell of clay and pottery paint scalding his nostrils with every steady intake of air. His mind drifts while he works, brushing his thumb over the rim of a mug. It leaves behind a dent and it makes Adam frown, his lips pressed into a tight grimace of understanding.

Everything he makes is broken. There's messy rims on plates with holes in and mugs where their handles sag somewhat off to the side. He leaves behind parts of himself in his creations. Useless creations made by a broken man who is cursed to always be alone. The last bird in the nest, watching fearfully as his friends fly away, leaving him empty and nervously alone; never to be remembered. Never to be missed. The water is cold against his fingers as he plunges them in to soften the clay more. Watered down clay splashes against his face and he narrows his eyes, ignoring the feeling of realness it gives him as he works. His fingers shift too heavily and his creation comes tumbling down like a shattered mirror and without thinking he slams his fists against the broken mixture. Clay sprays everywhere and as he leans his forehead against his fists, he can hear his mothers voice humming distantly in the back of his head.

“Adam, sweetheart, it's okay to make mistakes.” His mother tells him in his mind, kneeling in front of him and using her fingers to part blond hair away from his face. Slowly he raises his eyes and blinks slowly, wishing that his mother was here to hold his face in her hands, to tell him that he’s still her little cowboy. That he's not a failure. He smiles at his mothers pride in him and sighs. Beth was a mother who saw the best in her son, the one person who believed that he was good. That betrayal wasn’t weaved into his soul. He wishes he could believe the voice now as he stretches sore arms and swallows the taste of tears back down into his stomach.

He gathers the broken bits of clay and presses them together, making a wet ball in his hands before standing up and tossing the clay into the nearest trash can. “Destined to fail this time huh?” He muses, talking to nobody in particular. Maybe to himself, maybe to the discontinued idea for an artwork that sits melting over takeaway containers and beer bottles.

Failure is a part of him, weaved so deeply into his existence that it paints a dark cloud across every relationship he makes. Every friendship falls through his fingers like the sands of time and no matter how tightly he tries to cling onto the good moments eventually they disappear. Melting away like the last remains of winter as the sun rises again to kiss the earth. Adam fails, he sits and lets his emotions control his mind, blood drips itself slowly down his arm and in his blood, Adam tells a story. He tells a story of a man too good to be forgotten but too evil, too foolishly shattered to be remembered.

People want to remember him. That’s what Kenny told him the last time they spoke. He had on the kitchen counter, rolling one of the mugs Hangman had made in school. Tracing broken nails across the messy text of ‘best mom’. “What's with the fingerprint?” He had asked with a softness in his voice that made Page feel warm in his stomach.

“I leave a part of myself in everything I do.” He places his arm around Kenny’s middle and lays his head against his shoulder. “Ma used to like hearts so I made one with my fingerprint.” His nail traces over the whorls and there's a distant gleam to his eyes that makes Kenny smile and bury his lips into the curls of his hair.

“When mom died, she kept everything the way it was. So part of me lived on as people moved in and out of this place- family mostly. They would always pick up the mugs and talk about how small whoever made the mug hands was back then or how it looked; innocent and brilliant and strangely real.” Hangman keeps his eyes closed as he talks, thumb running itself over Kenny’s wrist. “I was some kind of anonymous artist.”

Kenny takes his chin in his hand, calloused fingertips digging gently into the scruff of his beard. “Hanger, Lover boy. Everyone should know you. You're talented and smart and outstanding in the ring. You are good Adam, and I love you..” His words are painted with a truth and slowly Adam opens his eyes and leans his lips against Kenny’s too stunned to form sentences, that tells Kenny just how wrong he is, how his heart had clouded his mind.

Adam sighs, the taste of Kenny’s words buzzing distantly on his lips and if he leans his head against the window, he can almost feel the other man's eyes boring into his neck as he washes the clay out from under his nails. But Kenny isn’t watching him, he's alone with nothing but sheep and horses to watch him as emotions brew behind cloudy eyes. He had fought against Kenny and the two of them have merged together, falling for each other the way someone falls for a favorite song, quick enough that the first few beats send their brain into a cloudy euphoria that sends time spiraling into obscurity. They lay against each other the night they won the tag tiles, pupils dilated with joy. Kenny leaned closer and he couldn't control himself. Adam leans closer and tastes the last stray strands of mint on his breath that he gasped into his parted lips. The two of them merge and shift like their two lost halves finally finding each other again and Adam becomes addicted to the way his name sounds on Kenny’s moans.

The suddenly scalding water against his hands pushes the memories to the back of Adam’s mind as he pulls his hands back and groans as pain rushes against his arm. All out had taken too much out of his body and two days later, he’s still suffering the effects; sore, tired muscles and a headache that he cannot seem to shake. It reminds him that history has once again repeated itself.

He had been left laying on the ground, blood and sweat mixing against the dirty ring mat. It was always the same. Adam was always the one who is left alone as darkness creeps in, brushing its cold, dead hands across the pulsepoint of his neck, puppeting him until he’s sitting alone at a bar, staring down at the bar through a half empty glass of whiskey, its smokey woodness a bitter sickness on his tongue.

It had happened with the Elite more times than Page could count and it's always the same tale that he could tell strangers it; they leave him laying in the dust and color him in with disgusted looks and heavy sighs and he pretends to be okay until he gives in and calls Matt, begging them to be friends against and eventually Matt gives in and smooths his racing mind until he’s smiling. The Elite break him over and over again, handing him his heart back in shattered sections and Adam sits, alone and confused, putting the bits back together, licking at the blood that drips steadily from his fingers as he mends the fractured friendships. The Dark Order are better but they do the same but they're kinder. They sit him down and tell him about his issues.

Issues that he stares at in the bathroom mirror. Issues that date back to the incurable sickness that dates back to the Bullet Club. A poison that drips into each of its members and never leaves their bloodstreams. No matter how much is spilled, it clings to the inside of peoples arteries until it kills their bodies, their careers and then they move on to another broken minded individual. Adam Page’s connection with the Bullet Club lies dormant until it digs its venom smudged fangs into his mind and he messes up again. He fucks up enough that he looses everything. He comes so close and then tumbles through the sky like Icraus, screaming helplessly as his wax wings melt and he once again tumbles trapped in bottles of whiskey and darkness.

“Adam c’mon you're better than this.” He reminds himself as he climbs the stairs and falls face first into bed. It complains under the sudden weight and he takes a slow breath counting the seconds that fall as he breaths. His dirty jeans itch against his legs and he knows he should change, but emotional exhaustion brings sleep to the forefront of his brain, eyes suddenly heavy in the darkness. Adam rolls over, hair brushes against his face and buries his nose into his pillows.

He’s back in the ring, sweat coating a second skin against his stinging flesh and guilty tears put pressure behind his nose that makes him want to yelp. His legs are trembling under his wrestling gear, why can’t he stand? He wants to cry but when he opens his mouth and blinks his eyes, nothing comes out. The world blurs as he moves, kneeling in the middle of the ring, whimpering. There’s a heavy sigh and the sound of angry footsteps that make the ringmat shake and it makes his eyes snap upwards, pupils tight and constricted. “Kenny-?” He gasps out his name like it's holy water falling onto his lips and he begs Kenny to look at him. Page raises his hand helplessly and Kenny’s eyes chill to an icy emptiness that makes Hangman's blood run cold in his veins.

Kenny holds a table above his head, the thick wood and heavy metal legs clinting like a dagger in the arena lights. Hangman rocks forward, shaking legs screaming and he grabs onto Kennys leg. Kenny steps away like Adam has burned him and he raises the table Adam feels it connects against his skull. Screaming in pain he rocks backwards onto his ankles. He feels like he's falling and while he yells, the world falls away from him like the tumbling of dying rose petals. The room falls dark and in the silence Adam feels hands, hands brushing against his throbbing head, cold and innocent as fingers wrap around his hair. A pair of lips brush against his neck and it takes all his remaining strength not to gasp at the surprise. It’s calm and more hands join, pressing down against his burning skin, soothing the blooming bruises and allowing his blood to weave itself around their fingers. It's only when he hears a voice, empty, soulless and distant, does color snap into the world.

He’s sitting in the corner of the elite's locker room, lips sewn together and chest dripping blood. He raises a hand and feels around his bloodstained shirt, his heart lays empty and pulsing on his lap and Adam feels sick, vomit burning his throat. “Adam is so fucking annoying.” Kenny complains with a sigh, not looking up from his switch. The Bucks nod in agreement and chuckle when Kenny shifts to lay upside down.

“He’s always so-” Nick starts waving his hand as he walks, trying to pick the right word out from. His eyes shine with anger as he spits out. “Anxious. Childish.”

“Hes so fucking useless.” Matt mumbles from the floor behind the couch. He has an ice pack laying across his face and Hangman leans forwards, fighting to open his mouth. They’re his friends. They don’t mean that. Do they?

“I can't believe I actually dated him.” Kenny seems to be recoiling, laughing at their time together where their hearts beat as one continuous tune. He presses his eyebrows together and glares at the direction where Hangman is sitting but his eyes look past him, almost like he doesn't exist. “I told him he mattered, that he’s something more than just some poser with an anxiety disorder.”

There's a collection of laughter and Adam thrashes against the sudden restraints that had wrapped themselves around his wrists, digging heavy and painfully into the already scuffed skin. “It would be better if he didn't even exist. He brings nothing to the world. He should just die, save us all the trouble of fucking dealing with him. It's not like anyone would miss him.”

Kennys words stab his chest like darts. They carve his chest open and Adam screams against his stitched up lips, the sound echoing only in his own mouth. Darkness swirls like cigarette smoke around the corner of his eyes and it's only when the pounding of his separated heart echoes in his ears does Adam sit up, chest heaving and eyes red.

Fearful eyes dart around the sunrise-lit room. It’s not some random hotel room or some stranger's bedroom. It's the same that he’s always been in since he was seven. There’s dirt on the windows, childish handprints and feathers that seemingly clung to his clothes after he came out from the chicken coup, and the sound of his childhood alarm clock ticking on the desk at the opposite end of the room. Adam takes a calming breath and scrubs his fists against his wet face before allowing a trembling hand to reach out and grab his phoneHe presses the power button and it blares into light.

It stings his eyes but at least now he has a reasonable excuse for his tears. He blinks down at his lockscreen and sighs softly, at the time. “Four twenty three.” He grumbles and pulls his pillow over his head. It’s too early to go through his chores on the farm but late enough that going back to sleep means missing his flight. Stubbornly, Adam shifts his legs out from under the covers and pulls his upper body up, squinting as he stares into the sunrise. The nightmare still rings, heavy and raw in the front of his mind, snippets sprint past his eyes whenever he closes them and as he passes the bathroom mirror. He raises his shirt and traces shaking fingers across his chest and sighs in relief when he feels his racing heart pounding under his ribs.

Adam needs to shower. He strips, stopping once again to make sure that the scars on his chest are old, faded into his skin like a bullet hidden in a tree. He reaches out and turns on the water, smiling slightly as the shower creaks into working and for a few seconds the shower runs cold, its old pipes warming up inside the walls of the old farmhouse.

It seems to take forever but finally the water warms up and he steps inside, sighing as the water drums against his skull, sticking his hair to his face. He feels the last wisps of sleep soak away as the water pounds against his shoulders and it sucks the pain out from his bones. With closed eyes and awkwardly controlled breathing he washes his hair and runs a sponge across his tired limbs. The farm crackles to life outside the window and in some distant part of his mind he remembers his mother placing him on the back of the tractor, nestled on hay bails to go and feed the horses. He’d stand on the fence and squeal as horses pressed their nose into the curve of his small hands.

He remembers the ducklings that would follow him, falling over themselves when he stops suddenly. He remembers his mothers soft voice as she fed the pigs, patting them roughly on their behinds. The sound echoes in his mind and soon the nostalgia falls away, the sound of skin connecting with skin starts to sound disastrously more human. Flashes of his nightmare splints through his mind, pinning his closed eyes shut. He sees Kenny rising the table, He spots himself ,sore and tired, kneeling at the feet of a false prophet who he had fought beside. Voices loop around his head and they feel like they're draping nooses around his neck, pressing against his pulse points until his heart swims, frantic and drowning, in his ears.

He knows what's happening. He knows the signs of a panic attack and despite the pain that tightens his chest, Adam knows what to do. He knows that he should open his eyes and focus on his breathing. In for four. Hold for four. Out for four. The same looping pattern until the hands of panic release their grip. But he just can't. His chest feels like it's going to explode if he took too deep of a breath in. His legs tremble under him and he collapses to the bathroom floor with a thud that echoes around him.

Blunt nails dig into the wet skin of his scalp, shaking fingers carving rivets between his hair. Adam grits his teeth and curls into a ball under the warm water, tears running down his face and down the drain. He feels like a silhouette in his own existence when panic attacks happen. They suck the existence from his bones and leave him an empty husk, desperately clinging to any form of humanity. His chest heaves and his mouth runs dry as he sobs. Allowing the tremors to wrack his frame until the shower runs cold before stopping enterly.

He’s not sure how long he stays curled up on the floor, head pressed between his knees and fingers tugging at his hair, goosebumps coat his skin and Adam can do nothing but release a stuttering sigh, his brain works in staccato beats, angry jerks that force his legs out flat in front of him and his fingers digging anxiously into the flesh of his lower arm.

It's inevitable that he would end up like this. His hand shakes against his skin, clawing away at the meat until there's angry red marks that stare up at him like the eyes of a judgemental parent. The pain is normally enough to remind him that he is real and that the panic that feels like it's ripping his very being to pieces is temporary. But it's not this time. His nails dig deeper into the wound and soon there's the feeling of blood under his nails and angry red splotches staring up at him, dark and resentful against the blue floor. Pin-pricked eyes glance around the bathroom, he’s slow, almost cautious as he presses his hand against the wound, grip soft at first until a small voice tells him to squeeze and his grip tightens.

Blood pulses and runs down his arm like rain down a window and for a few seconds, startled and dissociated, Adam can do nothing but watch it as it falls between his fingers and merge into the small puddles of water that sits around him. It takes moments for the wounds to clot, blood stopping and Adam blinks as he forces his fingers to bend. Bloodstained fingers reach up to the shower and press the on button again.

Cold water hits skin and he sits on the floor, holding his arm out like a child who fell off his bike. The water runs pink and then clear and finally Hangman can manage to stagger to his feet and grab a towel. The claw marks sting distantly and stubbornly as he dresses, a constant reminder that he had failed. That he had broken and fell back into the same stupid habit of hurting himself. Because he always has to be the victim. If he’s not the one bleeding, people can’t feel sorry for him and that's all he wants right? He wants people to stare at him with pity in their eyes and apologies that bubble off their lips and float around his head like butterflies.

If he is not the victim then he is useless. Some stupid kid whose too anxious to be a good friend. Someone who, like Kenny said, would be better off dead than clogging up another space in the roster, on the earth.

He swallows and pulls a shirt over his head and lets it fall against his damp chest. Still wet hair sticks to the back of his neck, fluffing as it dries and he's quick to tug it into a ponytail as he squirms into yesterday's jeans. Bare feet and off kitler, Adam opens the curtain and presses his forehead against the frosted glass, it's cold and there and his entire world lays untouched and waiting for him. Through split lips, he breathes a chuckle. It's not a happy sound- it's a wear sound that's borderlining on tears. “At least someone needs ya Hangman huh?”

He pulls on his boots and rolls his neck before opening the door and resigning himself back to his animals. The things that can only hurt him once. Kenny can touch his wrestling career all he wants. Their souls can weave together to build a tapestry that will stand the test of time. But Adam can sit beside the duck pond and listen to the sounds of new life. The world can reclaim him slowly and the animals that sit and watch it happen, can remember him silently.

He’s leaning against the gate to the horse paddock when he next remembers Kenny. It's a quick flash of a memory. The sunlight dancing across his bare back as he hides his face in a pillow. Adam remembers the guilt that seemed to dance in the corner of Kenny’s eyes whenever he would look at Adam, he remembers how good it felt that he was to be loved. That someone needed him. He tries to lean into the memory, fingers reaching out to stroke down Kenny’s spine. He jolts back into the real world when he pokes something soft and tough. “Sorry Kaden.” He whispers sheepishly, patting the horse on the nose. “’M a million miles away.”

Kaden raises his head against his hand and Hangman chuckles. “I know I know. I won’t be away for long. And you and the other guys will have great aunt Mary to look after you guys.” When the horse sighs, Adam leans forward and lays his forehead against its dark brown fur. “I won’t be away for long. Kenny will make sure of that.” The horse seems to neigh in reply, small and quiet and awkward. “Kenny and I ain’t friends at the moment. I lost and he has the right to be angry.” His eyebrows screwed up together as if he had tasted something sour. Kaden bows his head and Hangman takes that as a sign to keep talking. “But people win and lose matches we were…close.” There's a dusting of a blush that grows across the apples of his cheeks and he sighs. “But now he won't talk to me. And I understand why but Kenny was the one that stormed out of the arena! He was the one who left the Bucks behind and I get that the Bucks and I ain't as close as we use’ta be but-” The horse makes a sound and Hangman takes it as a reminder to take a breath. And that's what he does. Closes his eyes and draws a heavy breath of farm air.

“I just wish I was a better friend y’know Kaden?” He asks, blinking confused. “I’m talkin to a horse. What the hell is wrong with me?” He seems to laugh at himself, jolting against the metal bars of the fence when he gets a text from his aunt. She’s standing on the doorstep and the cab that Hangman had called had been sitting outside for the past five minutes. “It’ll all be okay won’t it..” He promises, maybe to himself or maybe to the horse who winnies and trots over to the other side of the field to chew rhythmically at the hay Adam had put up moments ago. His boots click against the stone path as he jogs back into the house and grabs his bags.

“Adam be careful out there honey, call me after you finish work.” His aunt tells him, placing her hand in the small of his back. “Oh Adam. Before you go.” She calls from inside the house when Hangman has closed the car door halfway. There’s a seriousness to her voice and he holds the heavy door at arms length and raises an eyebrow to prompt her to continue. “We’re all so very prouda you.”

A twinge of pride blossoms in Hanger's chest, growing like the first wildflower after winter and he nods awkwardly before closing the door and melting against the leather seats of the cab. The driver only speaks to ask what time his flight is and nods when Adam tells him it's in five hours but he wants to get to the airport early. The car trundles up through countryside roads and slowly merges into the bustling traffic of the city. The sudden change of air condition that floats through the open window makes Hangman cough slightly, lowering his mask to give the driver an apologetic smile. He nods, raising a gloved hand as an acceptance and settled in the fact that Adam hadn’t screwed up a minor social interaction, he puts his mask back on and relaxes against the seats again, accepting the comfortably numb feeling that floods over his body. He brushes his fingers over where the wounds are, pressing the curve of his knuckles into them slightly, and gives a comfortable sigh when pain tingles through his system again.

The flight happens with minor turbulence and when the wheels touch down on the tarmac, Adam is one of the first people to get off. The idea of being on a flight had always set him on edge but after recent events he just wanted to get to his hotel and lay down for a few moments before the car came to pick him up to take him to the arena. The line for security rolls slowly and Adam picks anxiously at the skin of his thumb as he waits for his things after being scanned. A few people ask him for autographs and he is happy to comply. Children stare at him with acceptance in their eyes and Hangman can’t help but smile and lean down to ruffle their hair.

He’s leaning against the banister of the escalator when a familiar face catches his eye from the crowd. There’s suddenly a bad taste in Adam’s mouth, the kind of taste people get just before they throw up. Bile bubbles up his throat and Adam swallows it down before spitting out. “Nick?”

Nick looks up from his phone and raises his hand awkwardly at the other man, stepping forward to place a hand on his suitcase. “Hey.” His voice is dull, rough with disuse and anxiety. “I’m sorry about Sunday.'' Even from behind his mask, ADam can tell that hes chewing awkwardly on his bottom lip. He shrugs, waving a hand noncomuicationally. “No Kenny was a real dick.”

“I deserved it.” Adam whispers, the words getting lost in the roar of travelers. Nick tilts his head to the side confused, eyes mimicking those Adam used to see on the old family sheepdog. “I should have fought harder.” He states louder, simpler. Nick just shakes his head and wraps his hand around the handle of Adam’s luggage and walks off. Blinking for a few seconds in confusion, Adam registers that he suddenly doesn't have his luggage and jogs to catch up with Nick, placing his hand in the middle of his spine when catches up with him. It’s a friendly gesture that Adam does out of routine. It’s an accident but one that Nick seems not to mind. He pauses in front of a car and opens the door.

“D’ya want me to push you into the car or what?” He snaps, an aura of playfulness flowing in his eyes. Hangman manages an awkward smile and slowly lowers himself into the back of the car. He stares down at his trembling hands, confusion painting itself clear across his face. There’s a breeze from the open window and Adam pulls his mask off, itching at his cheeks and face.

By the time Nick packs his luggage in the trunk of the car, Hanger is officially confused. They weren't friends so why was Nick here to pick him up? Was he in some kind of danger? A small part of his brain yells at him to look around and so he does, using the car's rear view mirror to look into the back seats. He’s so hyper focused on making sure that he's the only one in the car, he almost forgets that Nick exists and it's only when he slams the driver's side door closed does Adam flinch and allow his eyes to snap toward to stare out the window. “Why are you picking me up?” He blurts out about halfway into the ride to the arena.

Nick seems to wince at the question, lips pressing into a bitter line of thought before going. “You gotta make up with Kenny.”

Adam starts to itch at his arm through his shirt sleeve, catching Nick's eyes in the mirror when they reach a red light.

“He’s been a real asshole, yknow.” The light turns green and the other man focuses his eyes on the road again. The car is eerily silent for a few seconds before Nick continues. “He’s getting pissed at the smallest things and if he's not swearing his damn head off he’s quiet and pouting at his phone like he's expecting someone to call. Its stressful and-”

“What do you want me to do?” Hangman snaps, using his nails to unbutton his shirt sleeve, he needs to feel his nails agianst his skin, warm and clammy and real. He needs to remind himself that he exists in the back of a rental car with someone who he used to continue a friend. A friend that left him alone and awkward and bitter.

“Fix. it.” Nick snaps back, his grip knuckle white against the steering wheel. There’s a few tense seconds before both men exhale, the sheer comedic timing of it making them both flash a toothy half grin as they pull into the hotel room parking lot. “We don't care how Hangy, but fix it. It's upsetting people, it's hurting people.”

His head sags slightly as he gets out of the car and Nick’s words ring in Adam’s ears. He’s hurting people and that's the last thing he wanted to do with his arguments with Kenny. Sure, he wanted to hurt Kenny. There were times in his life where he would dream of Kenny’s blood decorating the ring like a Jackson Pollock painting. But this wasn’t one of those times. His fatigued brain wanted nothing more than to just crawl into his arms and listen to the sound of Kenny’s heartbeat washing over him like foaming sea waves. “I never meant to hurt anyone.” Adam promises when he squirms out of the car and follows Nick into the hotel lobby.

It's unremarkably quiet and the lack of people settles Adam’s anxiety to a small glowing ball in his stomach. He gathers his keycard and clings to it as he wheels his suitcase into the elevator. He raises his arm, pushing strands of blond hair off his face. Nick reaches out and takes his wrist, twisting his arm over. “What are you doing?” Adam asks, snatching his arm away and tugging the sleeve over his hand.

“Are you.” Nick doesn;t know how to approach the question. They’re not exactly as close as they used to be. But the dark red marks that stared at him when Adam lifted his arm made his stomach still, heavy at the bottom of his feet. “Are you hurting yourself Adam?”

There's an indignant splutter that doesn’t stop when the elevator dings and the doors open. “No, of course not. I'm not that kid anymore.” Lies drip off Adam's tongue easily but he can't bring himself to look Nick in the eye. He’s staring at him with pity in his dark eyes and despite Adams normal so-thought desire that he liked people looking at him like that, it makes him feel nauseous and dizzy. His legs tremble under his clay stained jeans like they did in the shower and he pushes his fist into the meat of his calf when Nick isn't looking.

They don’t talk about that topic again. Not until that night where Adam is clinging his arm close to his chest, standing on the doorstep to the Young Bucks locker room. Matt opens the door and makes a startled sound and quickly pulls Adam in by a scrap of his shirt that isn't stained crimson.

“What the fuck happened!?” He asks, dropping Hanger onto the couch like he was a pile of dirty clothes. The brothers look at each other with wide eyes that flicker as if the two of them are talking.

“I-Do-n’t-I cant…I can't-” He rocks forward, pressing his temples to his knees. His body shakes so badly that Matt kneels in front of him, using his arms to stabilize Adam on the couch so he doesnt fall off. “Help-” Adam begs weakly, tears mixing with blood on his face. Nick strokes his hair like he was stroking a cat before nodding at his brother and leaving the locker room.

“Lemme see. Lemmme see. It's okay. Shh.” Matt coos, resting his hand over Adam’s. His fingers worm into his palm and gently pulls the locked joints loose, massaging until Hangman’s hand hangs loosely and blood stained in his smaller one. “Oh Adam. what was it?”

There’s beats of silence. Adam looking at the floor or the ceiling and Matt gently pressing a cloth from his open suitcase against his arm before he can manage to look him in the eyes and whisper “razor.”

The younger man sighs and wipes the blood off his arm. “You’ll just need some bandaids. There in my other bag. I’m still gonna be right here. I’m not leaving, I promise you.”

The nod that Hangman gives is a sharp and curt twist of his neck and Matt is slow to release his hand. “It's okay, it's gonna be okay I promise.” He continues to whisper as he makes his way across the room. Adam listens to the sound of his ring boots against the carpeted floor and uses them as a beat for his breathing. Breath in on the left, breath out on the right. Matt returns and gently cups Page’s chin in his hand before holding up the bandaids, they are brown and the box is dented from overuse. Slowly, Adam stretches out his arm again and shows Matt the wounds.

There's three identical cuts across his left trice. Long and red and stinging. Matt pokes them curiously, making sure that none of them need to be stitched up before carefully smoothing bandaids across his skin. Adam feels like he's being coddled but when Matt cups his cheek again, he tilts his hand in relishing in the touch of another human being.

The door behind them clicks open and Matt steps away, grabbing his brother and pulling him away before Nick has the chance to open his mouth. The door clicks closed and Adam falls against the back of the couch, curling his knees into his chest and pressing his forehead against his jeans. His body pounds are dissociated and fatigued and he almost doesn't register the feeling of someone else being in the room until someone coughs, an awkward sound that makes Hangman jolt his head up.

“Kenny?”

Kenny smiles, the corner of his lips tugging awkwardly into what feels like a fake grin. Almost like he wanted to be anywhere else that staring at Adam, curled up on his former friend's couch looking a mess. “Hey.” Even his voice is stunted and awkward, rough and sharp and disappointed.

Adam stretches his fingers out carefully before they snap back into a fist. Kenny isn’t his to touch anymore, he isn’t Adams to love anymore. Feeling like he's been punched, Adam curls deeper into his knees and through the gap in his legs, watches as Kenny’s shoes take a step closer. The springs groan under the sudden added weight of Kenny next to him and Adam slumps slightly, head knocking softly against the join of the couch cushions.

He watches the other man from the corner of his eye, keeping a careful glare on the way his shoulders slump and the way his icey eyes focus on a small pile of the Buck’s discarded clothes that sit alone by the door to the locker room. “I’m sorry.” Adam finally mumbles out, so quiet that Kenny has to face him and carefully nudge him to repeat it. “I’m sorry..”

“I know.” Kenny states simply, hands tucked into his lap. His fingers knot together and Hangman watches as the color drains from his knuckles. Slowly he starts to uncurl, pressing his boot souls against the floor firmly. Hangman presses weight into his toes, hoping that the dull sting of pressure that skates its way up and down his legs is enough to keep him focused. His muscles feel tight and shaky under his jeans and Kenny is careful to place a hand against his thigh, thumb spreading out against the curve of his knee. “I know.” He states, voice dimmer. Colder.

Adam watches, sighing as Kenny's thumb massages the anxiety out of his legs. Carefully he rolls his ankles and gently wiggles his fingers. Anything that stops him from asking the question that bubbles onto his tongue so violently that Adam fears that he may throw up. He parts his lips and the question tumbles out.

“Do you still love me?”

Kenny blinks at him, stares into his eyes for a few moments before averting his gaze back down to the floor. Neither man wants to say it. Not out loud. Adam keeps his eyes on Kenny’s face as it cortourtes and his shoulders sag when Kenny barely manages to shake his head. “I can’t.” Adam feels tears press against the gap between his eyes and he presses his knuckles into his cheeks, pushing them away. “..why?” He feels like a child, open-minded and curious at the world.

“Because it's not cute Adam!” Kenny has stood now, stepping away to gaze at Adam on the couch with a look that seems akin to a farmer staring at a dying animal. Part of his mind begs for Kenny to end his suffering, to kick him in the head until his temple explodes like a buckshot.

But all he does is stares at him, with a cold pitty. Adam knows that Kenny is speaking the truth that he's not a partner that people should be proud of, he isn't a prized pony that people should parade around. His shoulders curve and he swallows the tears that threaten to make him look weak, his brain screams for him to dig his nails into the cuts but he knows he’d feel guilty getting blood on the Bucks hardwood floor or over theri couch. So, he keeps his eyes closed and ears open as Kenny continues.

“It's not easy to love people like you. It's draining and hard. You make me feel like my entire soul is being sucked out of my body! I can't love you. I don't love you. I don’t think I ever have. Not honestly. Everything that happened was convenient; a simple stress reliever. Nothing more. Nothing less.” Kenny’s words tumblr out of his mouth like a waterfall and each one stabs Hangman in the chest like venom soaked spears.

“”I’m sorry.” The words are strangled by unshed tears when they drop out of Adam’s mouth and onto the floor. He picks at the stray bits of clay on his jeans and wonders why he’s allowing himself to listen to the words that Kenny is spouting. He doesn't know. A crooked smile spreads across his lips and Hangman wishes that alcohol could dance in his bloodstream, maybe it would make the words sting less. Or maybe he would relate to them more and allow them to soak into his mind until he’s repeating them like a mantra.

With a sigh, Kenny turns his back on Hangman, fingers against the door knob. “I’m sorry but I won't die because of your sadness.” The door clicks open and closed again and once again, Adam is alone.

Maybe, he always will be. And maybe that's okay.

Maybe he will retreat back to his old family farm, cover himself head to toe in scars that sting in a sickly human way and allow himself to lay down by the duck pond and allow the world to reclaim him.

Animals will make homes in between his ribs and Adam will finally be needed.

Be loved in the way he always desired.

Peacefully. Anonymously. Like a forgotten painter whose artwork is displayed in old homes to hide the rotting decay of age and water damage in the walls.

He’ll be remembered like fingerprints in clay and adored like kiln fire; warm, exposing, fixable.

Taglist: @allelitesmut @homoeroticgrappling @dustinslovehandles @paradoxunknown @katries @mrsmatt @echoxshxrx @malewifemoxley @kass-the-kitten @itsnoosetome @racerchix21 @jacedoe @chuckstaylors @old-no7 @thekadster @mandiableclaw @tahiri-veyla

[bigfan-fanfic]

What are some headcannons about Kaden and his chubby biologist husband? I’ve recently been replaying mass effect and I just loved those asks

The biologist is from Earth, but happily accepted a research post on the Citadel as a Terran biology expert on the Citadel xenoscience board - he has an office and laboratory, and helps the Citadel scientists study Earth biology in order to accommodate the influx of Terran visitors and colonists into the Alliance.

I figure specifically the biologist focuses on plant life and thus works with salarian and asari horticulturists and botanists to create useful cross-strains to help with food shortages and pharmaceuticals and such.

Kaidan meets him after the events of Mass Effect, still mourning Shepard. However, Kaidan is absolutely charmed by the dedication and enthusiasm the biologist has for his work. Even though he has the option to return to Earth for work, he accepts a post with Anderson on the Citadel, partly to spend more time with the biologist.

Kaidan knew he was the one when on their fourth date, when Kaidan invited him for drinks at his apartment after going to see a Blasto movie and laughing at the stilted hanar dialogue, and he had a horrible biotic headache. The biologist stayed with him, held a cold compress to his head, and when the headache abated, they fell asleep in each others' arms. Neither tried to push, tried to cross boundaries. They could simply be. Kaidan wanted to wake up to make breakfast, but instead woke up to the biologist's face, looking at them, and they kissed. About three months later, Kaidan proposed, and the biologist, with asari cooperation, crossbred Korean ginseng with the asari equivalent of a lily and discovered it could be effectively used to mitigate and treat biotic headaches (it would also come to be used in a drug that would help neutralize the Ardat-Yakshi gene in asari).

Kaidan finds physical touch to be comforting and uses every excuse he can to be close to his husband, whether holding his hand, having arms around him, or cuddling. They'll give each other massages when overworked, and have a habit of calling each other "dear" or "darling." Kaidan also, after having his headaches become treatable, loves to show off for his husband with his talents.

He's also hugely interested in his husband's work and can follow along enough to get the general gist of whatever he explains.

[omni-scient-pan-da]

For the soft asks: 1, 6, 27

1. what song makes you feel better?

Uhhhhhh I like World's Smallest Violin by AJR, doing ok. By Pablo Laurencia, Passing Through and Don't You Dare (make me fall in love with you) both by Kaden McKay and Fred Astaire by... I can't remember the band name

6. say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical).

I'm smart, funny, and carefree in the sense that I do stupid things ironically that very quickly become unironically part of my personality

And I love my hair and the color of my skin and the shape of my fingers? Which is weird but also I feel like there are so many different finger shapes and mine are the right balance of long but also chubby? Idk

27. which character would you want to be?

Bethany from Story Thieves by James Riley

Mostly because she has the ability to travel into other books and I could meet other book characters

[pangtasias-atelier]

THEY BOTH LOOK SO GOOD!!!! AND THEY'RE NOT 5* EXCLUSIVE SO MERGE PROJECTS HERE I COME (Selena has already been taken off the merge project list cause I only got the spark of her with 300 orbs 🙃 and Knoll is kinda bad plus I have Morgan +10 lol so might fodder Knoll off to Kaden)

But they look amazing and like, wg thoughts filled with them rn,,,,, like both Kaden and Keatom starting the New Year's kinda chubby and their new year's wish being for the other to fatten up. And then on some cosmic level it does and expedites their growth further and it goes through them in all the monthly alts that FEH does with them progressively fatter and fatter with it circling back to New Year's, both barely able to move (or maybe even immobile) and they still wish for the other to fatten up again for New Year's,,,,

[piorrai]

kaden barrett for @hotheadedsims red wants a boyfriend challenge

this is kaden... he is a sweet boy who just. really. really wants a boyfriend. so bad. fun facts under the cut!

he’s a human but he’ll tell u that he’s TECHNICALLY half vampire bc his mom is a vampire and so is his sister but he didn’t get the... vampire gene? and he’s still mad abt it

he is the only ginger in his family and bc of that his sister always tries to convince him he’s adopted

he once dyed his hair black and his sister made fun of him so bad that he went back to red almost immediately

he loves his sister even tho she’s just an absolute dick to him all the time - she’s his best friend

he’s a lil scared of cats but also he wants to own one someday bc he thinks a chubby cat would be very nice to cuddle

his favorite color is yellow

he is an emotional boy and he cries like twice a day probably

Big Pisces Energy

he wants a beard SO bad but his face is the only spot on his body that doesn’t grow hair

i hope u like him bb................... if he doesn’t get picked i’ll make him a public download!! :^)

[littlemissheartfilia]

Memories Were Once Presents

So I know life is rough and @dreamingoffairys and @thedarkgodmogar have been having a time of it. This is for you two because you’ve made me fall in love with your stingue kids

I just got random inspiration from idekwhere and I thought hey I can write cute kids! But I don’t know any cute kid oc’s so I took yours and here! It’s total fluff btw

Summary:  Sting has found his own happiness among family and friends. Now he realizes just how much it means to him.

Pairing(s): Stingue, Yukinerva, Orfus

Setting: Modern day Christmas AU I guess cuz I can’t do cannon

“Smile for the camera, Kaden,” Sting said holding up his phone with the video on. Kaden lifted his head of blonde curls, his round arms working extra hard to prop himself up. Once he saw Sting behind the camera he giggled, albeit drooling a little. His blue eyes seemed to sparkle as Sting circled the camera close to him.

Kaden lifted one arm after the other, trying to follow Sting’s movements but only managing to turn himself in a circle. Sting laughed as Kaden seemed to give up by shouting, “Ah!” and rolling over onto his back.

“Sting, have you seen my-” Rogue’s voice floated from the kitchen behind them as he walked into the living room where Sting and Kaden were. They voice stopped when they saw Kaden on the floor, now lifting his legs in the air and trying to grab at his feet. Rogue’s expression melted.

“Look!” Sting said holding up his phone while the video he just took played on loop. “Is it just me or are his eyes getting bluer by the day?”

Rogue looked at the phone and smiled sweetly. “He’s going to be so handsome, just like his father,” Rogue said and placed a quick kiss on the top of Sting’s messy hair. They both looked again at Kaden as he made a show of rolling around until he almost rolled under the couch. Sting had to catch him and sit him up before he could.

Kaden, now sitting closer to Sting and Rogue looked at them confused. He scrunched his eyebrows and gave them both a face that was just as unsure about what it was doing before as it was about why the before activity had stopped.

“Rogue...” Sting asked.

“Hm?”

“These kids are going to kill me with cuteness one day.”

Before either of them could say anything more there came a loud screech from down the hallway and pudgy footsteps charged towards them. “Speaking of!” Rogue said as he snatched the screaming, giggling child into the air when she passed them.

“I swear this one’s trying to start something this morning,” Rogue said as Ebony giggled wildly and squirmed in their arms. She moved so much that Rogue had a hard time keeping her under control and more than once she flipped over Rogue’s arms until she was hanging upside down, her dark hair hanging in thin locks.

“First, she tries to get into the Christmas presents early,” Rogue continues. “Then when I’m making her breakfast she keeps knocking into the counter and reaching for the surface so she can pull the plate of food on herself. When I finally sit her in the highchair she wears half of her food then dumps the other half in Kaden’s chair.” Rogue finished talking just in time for Ebony to escape their clutches and nearly fall over Kaden in her attempt to tackle hug him.

Sting laughed in spite of Rogue’s hardship and said, “She’s getting pickier by the day, that’s for sure.”

Rogue smiled. “Listen, I gotta go help Minerva pick up some last minute gifts will you be okay with them for a while?”

Sting looked at his two kids. Currently Ebony was grabbing the various lion plushies she always scattered around the house and blocking Kaden in. Kaden, in response, looked around at all the stuffed animals as if they were actually brick walls. He reached his arm out once but didn’t dare to touch the wall of plush, he simple stared confused, his mouth forming a bigger ‘o’ the more lions Ebony managed to find and stack.

“Look at that, they’re practically harmless. We’ll be fine.”

Rogue chuckled. “You say that now but are you going to call me twenty minutes later because Kaden starts throwing his dirty diapers?”

Sting gave Rogue a face and said, “Oh, ye of little faith. They’re babies, Rogue. The great Eucliffe Master can’t be bested by babies.” As if on cue Kaden made a noise somewhere between surprise and excitement. At the same time one of the lion plushies went flying straight into Sting’s cheek.

To Sting’s credit however, he barely flinched. Rogue chuckled again and moved a strand of his bangs that had fallen when the plushie struck it. “Sure. I’ll be back in an hour or so. Don’t forget to get them dressed. Everyone’s going to be here by noon.”

Sting gave his partner a salute from where he sat on the floor and Rogue thanked him with a kiss. Rogue was about to walk back into the kitchen toward the front door when they spun on a heel and said, “Oh, right, have you seen my k-” before they could finish Sting tossed them a shiny, jangling set of car keys. They caught it with ease.

“Found them on the floor where Kaden was playing,” Sting said, bringing his phone up again to photograph the playing children. “I think he knocked them off the coffee table. Had them halfway in his mouth by the time I stopped him.”

“Thanks,” Rogue said and they were out the door in the next moment.

Sting got a few more pictures of Ebony hugging her lion plushies and Kaden occasionally reaching tiny hands towards her. Then he stood up and clapped his hands making both babies look at him in confusion.

“Alright you two! It’s Christmas morning and I need to get you dressed and presentable for the gawkers that are coming to shower you with gifts later. Ready, cadets?”

Kaden just stared blankly at Sting. Ebony on the other hand gave a high pitched giggle and began running, as fast as her unsteady legs would carry her, out of the living room. Kaden smiled and tried to follow after his sister but only managed to power crawl.

“Oh no, you don’t!” Sting shouted after his two year old. He picked up Kaden along the way and chased after a giggling Ebony.

It was many hours later by the time Sting got the kids presentable and ready for the Christmas party. Rogue said how proud he was that Sting had managed to get them dressed so quickly. “And Kaden isn’t even trying to rip his clothes off,” they remarked. Sting took the compliment but kept his mouth shut.

It hadn’t been easy and in all honesty Sting only just managed to get his to-do list complete before Rogue got home. A to-do list which consisted of: cleaning the house up, keeping Kaden from knocking everything over while ripping his clothes off, and keeping Ebony from getting into every dangerous thing she sees. Still, Rogue didn’t need to know the knitty-gritty.

Now Sting was sitting in a room full of his laughing friends. The lights were dimmed so the tree Rogue, Yukino and him had decorated this year could glow properly. Sting had never felt more at peace with the world.

He had Rogue, sitting on the ground beneath his seat on the couch, both of their wonderful kids sitting as close to the tree as they can get with presents quite literally stacked higher than their heads. Sting had his friends, Yukino and Minerva taking up the last two spots on the couch, each holding one of their own twins that slept soundly somehow through the loud voices. Orga and Rufus were instructing Angus, their eight year old, to distribute presents to everyone and open up all the ones Orga got him first.

Sting watched happily. Everything was perfect to him. The way the red and gold lights on the tree reflected on everyone’s face and gave them a natural glow. The way Rogue was leaning their back into Sting’s knees so Sting could play with their hair and massage their shoulders. The way Kaden looked at every present in his lap with intensifying confusion until Angus would chuckle and pretend yell at him that he had to open the present to see what was inside.

“Open that one next, Ebby,” Rogue cooed pointing to an indigo wrapped child’s toy with patterned snowflakes. It took a few tries to get Ebony focused enough that she would find the present Rogue was pointing to but when she did she tried to hand it to Rogue.

They laughed and simply said, “No, Ebony this is your present. It’s for you.”

Ebony’s smile lit up and she stared at the present as if she couldn’t believe what Rogue had told her. Meanwhile Rogue leaned forward slightly so he could begin to tear open the side of the gift.

Once the seal was broken though Ebony had no problem ripping it open the rest of the way with glee. Every new tearing sound excited her and Sting watched her get lost in just ripping the paper until she had forgotten what was inside it.

There was an audible chorus of ‘wow’s when Ebony’s present finally revealed itself. She dropped the paper and looked at the gift. It was a round lion plush that had a rattle in the tail, an overly happy face, large eyes and for some reason a mirror on its stomach. Ebony was immediately entranced with it.

Sting leaned down to whisper to Rogue, “Why did you get one with a mirror on its stomach? It looks like the lion’s already ate her.”

Rogue shrugged and looked up at Sting through lazily combed bangs. “I didn’t even know that’s what it was. I just grabbed one of those presents from the community tree at work.”

Sting sighed. “Well, she’ll probably love it.”

“I think she’s discovered her new love,” Minerva said bouncing Jordan in her arms as she watched Ebony stare into the mirror on the stuffed lion. “Herself.”

Yukino giggled and in a baby voice said, “Who is that Ebony?” she leaned forward and pointed to the mirror. Ebony immediately reeled back as if she had just noticed the reflection.

She looked to Yukino, confusion setting in on her face. Then Ebony looked back at the mirror and squinted. She pointed a chubby finger to it as well, pushing so hard she left fingerprints.

“Hoo?” Ebony cooed looking once more at Yukino.

“Do you know who that is?” Yukino asked pointing again to the mirror. Ebony stared blankly at her and seemed to hold the lion plush a little further away from herself. “That’s you. That’s your reflection.”

Ebony’s mouth dropped as soon as the first sentence left Yukino’s mouth. She looked back at the mirror in shock and dropped it on the floor. Ebony for all the world acted as if she had just been told she’d won the million dollar lottery.

Everyone laughed and Ebony gazed at them all confused. Sting could practically see the wheels in her head turning trying to figure out what this new information meant and why they were all laughing.

In the process she picked up the plush again, held the mirror in front of Rogue and said, “You!” very proudly.

Rogue couldn’t keep a smile off his face. “Yeah, that’s right, Ebby. Good job!”

Ebony giggled so loudly Sting thought she might blow out her vocal chords making a noise like that at such a young age. Then she hugged the lion extremely close to her and ran off to join Angus trying to teach Kaden how to open presents in the most destructive way possible.

Sting, for the first time in a long time, felt he had everything he ever needed. Unprompted he leaned forward a bit, snaking his arms around Rogue and placing his chin on the top of Rogue’s head. His partner glanced up and placed one of their hands on his arms, humming contently.

Yes. These were the moments. The moments he had only dreamed of being able to experience years before. These were the times that made everything about his heartbreaking past worth living just so he could experience this moment right now.

“I love you,” Sting whispered into Rogue’s hair. Only they could hear. Rogue grabbed one of Sting’s hands and kissed it in return. Sting had said the only three words that could sum up everything about the emotions that held him captive. But it still wasn’t enough. Looking over at Angus playing sweetly with Kaden and Ebony, all of their parents watching with soft smiles, Sting knew nothing he could ever say would be enough. But maybe for right now just to enjoy this moment would fill that gap.

[some-cookie-crumbz]

Abandonment

Abandonment Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender Pairing: Kidge Summary: Life with a newborn can be exhausting. It can also be something that stirs up ones own family troubles. Standard Disclaimer: If you read and enjoy this, please give it a like/ reblog so I know if I should write more. AN: Day 28 prompt fill! I just really wanted to write some cute, post-family reassurance.

“Calm down, buddy. It’s okay, I’ve got you,” He cooed, voice soft but scratchy still from sleep.

“Wa…Waaahhh,” Came the insightful response, warbling in volume and whine.

“It’s okay, Kaden, no need for that. Let’s stay quiet, okay? Mommy’s still sleeping-!”

“I’m not, actually, but I appreciate the attempt,” She said with a sleepy puff of laughter, turning on her side to look at him. His eyes were wide in surprise as he gently rocked the fussy infant in his arms. She shifted a bit to sit up, already going for the hook of her nursing tank top with one hand while pushing herself up with the other. “He’s probably just hungry, which makes sense. It’s been almost three hours.”

“I can just go heat up a bottle for him. Get some sleep, Pidge,” He argued gently, pausing briefly in his rocking. He winced when Kaden suddenly chimed in with a loud, short cry of distress. He looked down and resumed the swaying motions immediately. She reached over and gently tapped the lamp on her bedside table twice, so that it only emmited a low glow. “Sorry, sorry. I know you hate it when you aren’t part of the conversation, but only are the conversation.”

She laughed a bit as she tugged the left side of her nursing tank top down to expose her breast. “Just hand him here, Keith. I’m already up and it’ll be easier for him to just take straight from the tap than you having to listen to him shriek the whole time you’re making the bottle,” She insisted, holding her arms out expectantly.

With a defeated sigh, Keith shifted to sit on the bed beside her and carefully hand over their one month old son. The little guy cried even louder as he was moved, falling silent briefly as he was cradled in the crook of Pidge’s arm. “Yeah, I heard you, baby. Don’t worry, the booby bar is always open for you,” She cooed teasingly, adjusting her arm to lift Kaden closer to her.

Keith watched and chuckled as Pidge struggled to get Kaden to latch properly, the baby continuing to shove his little fist in front of his mouth every time he tried to attach to her. The little guy let out a sharp indignant squawk at Pidge after the fourth time he got his fist instead of her nipple.

“Listen, dude,” She huffed lightly, using her pinky finger on one hand to nudge his fist out of the way while the rest of that hand held her breast in place for him, “you have to work with me here. If you keep curling your fist in front of your mouth like that? Yeah, you aren’t gonna be able to get on the booby!”

“Here,” Keith said, leaning over to gently nudge the offending fist with one finger, “let me see if I can’t help out a little.” It took a bit of coaxing, but after a second, Kaden uncurled his fist. With the palm exposed, Keith prodded at it with the tip of his finger, grinning when small and chubby fingers curled around it instead. He then carefully moved his arm using the grip on his finger off to the side.

“Thank you,” Pidge sighed, exasperated, as she moved Kaden’s head back up with her arm. This time, his gaping little mouth closed around her breast, silencing him. After a small moment of readjustments, he was properly latched and suckling the milk with small, hungry grunts. “I knew there was a reason I keep you around.” She teased Keith.

He flashed a small smile and hummed quietly, turning his gaze down to their son. “It’s nice to be able to do something to help you out with him. I feel so useless sometimes, because it always seems like he needs you,” He admitted, his thumb stroking the soft skin on the top of Kaden’s hand.

“Well, he’s still really small, so it kind of figures. In the next few weeks you’ll be able to do a lot more with him, though; especially once he can go longer than two or three hours without eating,” She pointed out with a small smile. She’d done a lot of research to start preparing herself once she found out she was pregnant, to make sure they’d know what to expect with a squalling newborn around, and it showed that more times than not, newborns would tend to be clingier to their mothers. Once they gained a bit more independence around the six to eight week mark, where babies would start getting better control of head movement and figuring out facial expressions, they were less dependent on Mommy.

Keith hummed again, looking down at Kaden with pure adoration. They sat in comfortable silence for a good twenty minutes before Kaden stared to doze off, little eyes fluttering shut and mouth widening in a yawn around the nipple in his mouth. “Looks like someone is a little milk drunk,” He teased, offering to take him.

Pidge smiled as she carefully handed him over, both of them freezing when he opened his eyes wide to stare at them. They had learned that babies were very similar to dinosaurs; if you didn’t move, they couldn’t see you. Or, rather, they wouldn’t really acknowledge that they saw you. They both slowly exhaled as his little eyes dropped shut again. “This little gremlin,” She whispered playfully, pointing at the sleeping infant.

“Think I can change his diaper before I put him back in his Rock-and-Play?” He asked.

“Give it a shot. If he wakes back up, I can always put him back on the boob for a minute or two to soothe him,” She said with a small shrug as she hooked her tank top back on. She watched as he carefully settled Kaden on the small changing table, tilting her head a bit. “So, you wanna talk about what’s bothering you?”

“Nothing’s bothering me,” He said, but it was a bit too quick of a response. He carefully unpeeled the diaper and made a face, nose screwing up. “I still don’t understand how he can sleep through a diaper full of poop.”

“Little guy’s probably too tuckered out. I mean, he refused to sleep all day,” She pointed out. She leaned back to readjust her pillows a little bit before looking over at Keith again. He was just finishing up with wiping Kaden clean and had already pulled out the clean diaper for him. “Now how about you stop dodging and answer my question? You’ve been kinda huffy since we brought him home and I’d like to know why.” She insisted.

Kids had been something she and Keith had discussed often, especially once they got engaged, and agreed they both wanted. The idea of having a family to call his own had appealed to Keith and he’d been over the moon when Pidge told him she was pregnant. She’d noticed it in the first couple of days after they got home with Kaden, how Keith seemed to deflate with how much attention she had to give to their newborn. She didn’t want to think that he regretted their decision to have a family, but that was the simplist answer she could come up with, given the evidence at her disposal.

He looked at her in surprise before sighing. “It’s nothing, Pidge,”

“Don’t give me that bull. Look, if you weren’t ready to be a dad, you should have-!”

“What? No, that’s not it at all!” He argued quickly, his tone a bit too loud and frantic. They both tensed as a shrill cry came from the changing table and a set of little legs kicked in the air frantically. He turned back around, quickly getting on the fresh diaper and buttoning his onesie closed again. “I’m sorry, bud, I should have watched my volume.” He said, carefully scooping him back up and cradling him against his shoulder.

“Go ahead and bring him back to bed with you. I have an idea that I’d like to try,” She suggested.

Keith walked over and slipped under the covers, starting to offer the squirming and whining infant over to her. Instead, she shook her head and nudged him to lie down with a push to his shoulders. Once he was settled down, she carefully readjusted both her boys so that Kaden’s head rested against Keith’s chest, right above his heart, and Keith’s arm was snuggly wrapped around Kaden so he couldn’t squirm around too much. They watched as he slowly settled, his breathing leveling out to match his dad’s, and slowly his eyes closed again. She watched as violet eyes widened before shining in the low light of the bedside lamp, enamoured and awestruck. “He’s so beautiful,” He breathed softly.

She smiled and snuggled down in beside him. “”The sounds of a heartbeat can soothe a baby, since they were used to hearing the sound while in the womb. It doesn’t have to be the Mommy’s heartbeat, either,” She explained gently.

Keith tilted his head and pressed a small kiss to her head, waiting a moment before taking a deep breath. “I’m not trying to be huffy, it’s just… I don’t like leaving everything to you. I want to help out and be as involved with Kaden as possible, give you time to rest while also taking time to bond with him myself. I don’t want either of you to ever feel like I wasn’t there for you enough. I just… I’m afraid of being like Nyrus,” He confessed, sounding uneasy and uncomfortable.

That explanation actually made a lot more sense, when Pidge thought about it.

Nyrus was a high ranking special ops agent working with the Blade of Marmora and, as it turned out, was actually Keith’s birth mother. She and Keith had encountered one another by chance – being paired up on a mission involving a new type of quintessence they’d discovered – but as she reprimanded him after the mission, he’d thrown off his mask to yell back at her, she realized who he was. Initially, she refused to work with him further or explain herself to anyone. For a few months she avoided him completely before finally he cornered her for the truth, during a huge meeting with the Blade higher-ups and the Coalition and Team Voltron.

The confrontation had been a disaster, to say the least.

The two of them had gone very quickly from a shouting match to actual fisticuffs quickly, which wasn’t too terribly surprising. Keith’s temperament was something he seemed to inherit from Nyrus – being quick to insults and aggression and violence when she felt she was being attacked – and the two of them mixed about as well as ammonium chloride and chlorine gas. Questions were asked and given answers that left Keith filled with nothing but anger. “It was not an easy choice to make,” Nyrus had snarled at him, keeping him pinned beneath her by his throat while her tail thrashed violently behind her, “but I had to do what was best for the universe.”

Nyrus had been tracking the Blue Lion’s quintessence signature to assure the Blade could keep it safe from Zarkon, whom was still working to locate them all. While she had been stationed on Earth, she’d met Keith’s father, Ethan, and found herself charmed by him. He had never seemed put off by her lack of Earthling social graces – like so many others had been – and accepted her as she was. She confided in him, upon her pregnancy with Keith, about her actual heritage, due to the chance that Keith could be born with Galran features. He’d loved her regardless of that fact. But when Keith was still very young, she received word from a few other members of the Blade – long dead and their names  fuzzy in her mind – that her ship was being tracked by Zarkon. Her options were to either return to the Blade, or destroy both her ship and her self to protect Earth and Blue Lion.

She had decided to take the option that she felt allowed her to do the most good.

“You could have taken us with you!” Keith had spat back, trying to pry her hand off of him.

Her ears had twitched and brow creased, leaning close to scrutinize him. “Why would I have done that? Your father had no training of proper combat or space travel. You were just a kit, too small to survive outside of our eyes. Neither of you could have served a purpose to the Blade that would have justified bringing you along,” Her tone had been bewildered by his question, as if that answer should have been completely obvious.

Pidge had seen how Keith shattered at her words and surged forward, using her bayard to forcefully hoist Nyrus off of him.

After that situation, Keith had taken a huge step back on how much work he did for the Blade, terrified of becoming an embodiment of their rationale to the same extent of his mother. He didn’t want to become so focused that he cared more for the mission objectives than his future family. It took another year before Nyrus and he encountered one another again, and things had gone… A bit more civilly. Nyrus reached out to him to apologize, explaining that it was never a matter of not loving him- she did, she insisted, loved him more than she’d loved anyone or any thing in the universe – but more a matter of what she thought was best. “Either option, you would have grown up without me. I thought that by going back to the Blade, I could at least keep you from being involved in this war. Evidently, however, that… Didn’t go as planned. I would like the chance to make amends, to be… Well, perhaps not a mother, but at least someone to you.”

And Keith, desperate to have connections with any potential family he had, had agreed. Nyrus held true to her word and worked at remaining calm and composed when they discussed certain topics. She’d been crushed when she learned of all the hardships that Keith had suffered, from his father’s young death to his being bounced from home to home, while also being proud of the things he’d accomplished. Pidge herself was still weary of Nyrus but she did her best to be civil, as she wanted to put in at least as much effort as the older female was. Nyrus had attended she and Keith’s wedding and was expected to take a small stop-in to Earth to meet her first grandson sometime soon.

Which certainly explained why Nyrus had been on Keith’s mind over the last couple of weeks.

“You know,” She said as she settled in beside him, resting her head on his shoulder and settling one arm across his stomach, “it would have to take a lot of effort on your part to be anything like Nyrus. It’s already clear that we – Kaden and I – mean more to you than anything, and I doubt you’d ever willingly leave us. And for as confrontational as you can get, I doubt you’d ever have it in you to pin Kaden down by his throat and shout at him.” The look of pure horror that he flashed at the mere inclination was enough to warrant a small chuckle from her as she nestled down with a small sigh. “And I know that me saying this doesn’t necessarily get rid of those fears in you, but I hope it at least helps a little. You’re already an amazing dad, and you’re an amazing husband, and Kaden’s going to grow up knowing how much you love him.”

“I guess it is a little silly of me to be afraid,” He mumbled, a mixture of love and gratitude softening his voice. His attention had swiveled back to the small form curled against his chest. “After all, if a situation like the one with Nyrus ever occurred with us, I don’t doubt you’d happily blow half the Blade of Marmora to Kingdom Come for even suggesting that I have more important matters than our family.”

“Half the Blade of Marmora?” She asked skeptically.

“You could certainly take them all out, but I think you’d want to make an example of them. And if you took down all of them, there would be no one to really learn from it,” He answered.

“Fair enough. Now shush your pretty little face and let’s get some sleep,” She mused, pressing a small kiss to his collarbone before closing her eyes. She felt his arm move to curl around her, pressing along her back and his hand resting on her hip, and she smiled.

Come Hell or high water, the Kogane’s were going to be inseparable.

[ariannadi]

A Flower and its Stem

In actuality this is all @drhu0806‘s fault AND I HOPE SHE KNOWS THAT.

I’m just kidding I love you have some leorrin floof <3

Leo and his three siblings were only allowed to visit their distant sister on occasion, and such trips normally resulted in Kamui bolting out of the Northern Fortress the moment they arrived to greet them with massive hugs and a beaming smile.

Jakob was there to receive them instead on one particular visit, however; a feat which instantly set Camilla and Elise on edge.

Leo too, if he were being honest.

"Where's Big Sister?" Elise demanded of the butler the moment she jumped out of the carriage, and Jakob twisted his lip.

"Lady Kamui isn't in the lightest of spirits, I'm afraid," he explained, looking unnerved. "It would seem the canary Gunter gifted to her on her eleventh birthday passed this afternoon and she's quite upset about it."

"Oh, the poor dear," Camilla murmured sadly. "She was so fond of that sweet little thing. How could it only live for two years?"

"Don't worry, sister. Knowing Kamui I'm sure offering to train with her will cheer her up in an instant," Xander said reassuringly. 

"Or a big hug!" Elise chimed in, bouncing on her toes.

Leo remained silent, knowing this was likely Kamui's first run in with the concept of death. Despite his siblings' positivity, they probably wouldn't be able to shake her from her sadness and confusion, but he didnt have the heart to tell them.

His analysis turned out to be accurate, as later that night while passing through the bedroom wing he came across Camilla exiting Kamui's quarters with a troubled expression.

"Even braiding her hair into that style she loves didn't help," she sighed to herself, then looked directly at Leo. "Darling, perhaps you can do something? It kills me to see her like this."

"I'm not sure what you think I'll be able to accomplish," he griped, "But I can try."

"I know you doubt it but she loves you, Leo. Perhaps you're exactly who she needs right now," Camilla expressed.

Leo remained silent as he proceeded into Kamui's chambers, the greeting room seemingly empty. He noticed the doors to her bedroom were closed, an unusual sight considering she didn't like sealing herself even further away from everyone.

"Sister?" he called out, rapping softly on the wooden barrier. When she didn't respond, Leo took it upon himself to enter, and the sight of his sister solemnly observing the now-empty bird cage at the far end of the room left him disheartened.

She was always smiling, always giggling over the most ridiculous things. Seeing her like this was simply wrong.

"Sister," he uttered as he approached her, and the girl turned to glance at him for a brief moment before returning her eyes to the object in front of her. 

"Hi, Leo," she almost whispered, hanging her head. "Come to try your hand at cheering me up? Camilla made you, didn't she?"

He stiffened at that, feeling a twinge of guilt and hurt. Despite her words, he stepped forward, his eyes coming to rest on the intricate silver bars of the cage.

"I've been practicing with Brynhildr again. Father even smiled when I showed him how I've improved," Leo said, and Kamui's eyes flickered to the tome in his hands. "Would you like to see what I can do?"

"Leo, I don't-" Kamui began, but the prince just reached for her hand and tugged her toward the center of the room.

"Go ahead and sit, I just need a moment to prepare myself," Leo ordered, and Kamui tilted her head slightly before plopping down onto the floor.

He chanted the words that were starting to become like a second language to him, his hand clenching as he absorbed power from the depths of the tome nestled in his arm. Kamui's eyes went wide as he manipulated a mist of green and black between them, which eventually took the form of a small, thorny bush with white blossoms.

And, to his pleasure and relief, she smiled.

"Leo, it's beautiful," she murmured, her smile only growing as he knelt down and snipped one of the flowers from the plant, then offered it to her. She delicately took the preoffered rose into her hands, cupping it though it were the most precious thing she had ever laid eyes on.

Such a simple gesture was enough to change Leo's entire outlook on his older sister.

"Brynhildr isn't simply for battle," the boy told her softly, and she carefully looked up at him - her expression one of tenderness and awe.

"No, I suppose it isn't," she whispered in response, her ruby irises sparkling.

Years later, Leo and his actual siblings became allies of the Hoshidan royals - Kamui's legitimate family and a group he never thought to be associated with. She led them against the invisible threat that sought to tear the neighboring kingdoms apart, appearing steadfast and fierce despite everything they encountered.

But Leo saw the tiredness behind her eyes, the silent doubt that crossed her features when she suspected no one was looking. He had never quite seen Kamui as a sibling, a part of him knowing she wasn't of his blood even before it had been revealed to him. Since then, the feelings of respect he had possessed for her had developed into something far more tender - and when the Nohrians had initially believed Kamui to betray them Leo dreaded the day he would be forced to bring her down.

Said day never came, by the grace of the gods, and instead the Nohrian outcasts took residence in the astral plane along with Hoshido's best - Kamui at the forefront of it all.

Just as he had when they were younger, Leo kept an eye on the young woman, noting how most evenings she would wander away from the mess hall before everyone else and seemingly disappear. At one point, she stopped coming altogether.

Brynhildr tucked under his arm, Leo sought her out on his own accord when she didn't turn up for supper for the third evening in a row, investigating all of her usual haunts and finding nothing.

"You lookin' for Kamui?" Kaden, who was curled up under a tree nearby, asked. "She's probably at the temple with Lilith. This is about the time she heads over to make an offering."

"I was just there," Leo countered, crossing his arms. How could the kitsune of all people possibly know her whereabouts?

Kaden just yawned, then shrugged. "Might check the spring, then? Or maybe she retired to her quarters already. Can't say for sure. Anywho-" His eyes suddenly shut as he curled back into a ball against the trunk of the tree, the conversation with Leo obviously over.

It was then that a distinct streak of silver flashed in his peripheral vision, and Leo turned just in time to catch the sight of Kamui rushing into the grove of sakura trees near the outskirts of the castle. Wasting no time, he hurried after her, thankful to be void of his armor for once.

Upon entering the rows of pink foliage, Leo found that Kamui had seemingly vanished among the grove. Only the faint sound of sniffling alerted him to her location, which ended up being just a few feet from where he stood.

Leo hesitantly approached the princess, who had her knees drawn up to her chest and was weeping softly into her open palms.

"Kamui?" he called to her, and the young woman startled in an instant.

"Leo," she breathed, scrubbing at her eyes as she swiftly rose to her feet. "W-what are you doing here?"

"Seeking you out, obviously. You've been disappearing frequently as of late," he answered, slowly stepping toward her. "Why are you crying?"

Kamui didn't respond at first, looking away from him instead. With a sigh, she finally replied, "Just... many things."

"Many things?" Leo repeated, and the girl nodded.

"Stress, primarily," she began, looking up toward the sky. "And the fact that we nearly lost three people in the last battle. If Xander hadn't stormed in when he did they would've..." she trailed off, her lip quivering.

"Kamui, we're in the middle of a war. Casualties cannot be helped sometimes, as harsh as it may sound." Leo said, resting a hand on her shoulder. It was hard to believe he practically towered over her now, when just three years ago she constantly teased him about how "short and cute" he was.

She sighed at the comment, resting her hand over his. The odd warmth of her skin quickly seeped into his fingers, rendering him a bit flustered at the contact.

"I know," she uttered, "But as our leader it falls to me to see everyone safe. Knowing I could fail those dearest to me with a single error... it eats away at my mind almost every day."

The prince understood such worries, as he himself had commanded his fair share of armies and had been the catalyst of their survival or demise, in the end.

"Such is why you must make the best of the situation, no matter the outcome," he told her sternly, before bringing Brynhildr forward. Kamui eyed it in confusion, but her eyes lit up the moment Leo drew power from the tome, producing a single red rose in the palm of his hand.

"Oh, Leo," she breathed with a smile, her eyes going misty with nostalgia. "I remember this."

"I thought you might," he murmured, then bent forward and carefully tucked the flower into her hair. "There," he said, holding her chin between his fingers and examining his work, "That's the Kamui I know."

Leo could've sworn her cheeks had turned the faintest shade of pink, but he passed it off as simply being the flurry of sakura petals swirling about them.

Forrest was everything they could've hoped for in a child. 

He was beautiful; sporting pale eyes, chubby, pink cheeks, and a tuft of pale hair on the crown of his little head. Their son hardly made a fuss with the exception of certain necessities, allowing his parents many nights of restful slumber despite what their friends had reiterated to them about parenthood.

But one night, the babe simply couldn't be consoled, no matter what his mother and father did.

"I hope he isn't coming down with something," Kamui said worriedly, her arms bouncing the months-old boy in an effort to soothe his hiccuping cries.

"Gods, let's hope not," Leo agreed, his brow furrowed as he studied the babe's disposition. Being a new parent certainly had its challenges, but this was unknown territory entirely.

"He isn't warm, so we can rule out a fever," Kamui analyzed, her fingers stroking their son's cheek. "Perhaps he had a nightmare? Mine have always been very vivid."

"Can they even get nightmares at this age?" Leo asked, wincing when Forrest's cries went up an octave. His wife instantly cradled the infant closer, cooing at him softly and nuzzling her nose against his.

"Come on, Forrest, let Mama see your smile again," Kamui pleaded to the infant, the sight causing Leo's heart to ache.

That's when an idea came to him.

"Leo, where are you going?" Kamui asked as he stood from their bed and wandered over to the vanity across the room.

"I'm going to try something," he said, reaching out to pick up Brynhildr from where it lay. Walking back to the bed, he took up his previous spot, then opened the tome to a specific page.

He breathed the words of conjuration, drawing familiar magic up from the artifact and into his hand. Leo beamed at the expression Forrest wore, the now-silent baby completely enthralled by the yellow blooms his father manifested out of thin air. To both Leo and Kamui's delight, a gummy smile replaced the scowl on their son's cheeks, his crying at an end.

"As luck would have it, I possess the key to making you both smile," Leo murmured to his wife with a smirk. Kamui grinned at the inquiry, moving to gently take one of the roses from him.

"You never fail to do so, my love," she breathed in sincerity, giggling when Forrest's pudgy hands curiously reached for the flower she held. "And we're so very grateful for that, aren't we, Forrest?"

Not as grateful as I am for you, my dear Kamui, Leo thought with a smile.

If a single blossom could bring peace and stability to the two beings he loved most in the world, surely Brynhildr could be put to use far more often.

Likes and reblogs are always appreciated!! :)

[getalittlecountry]

Magic

As promised my cute little Nessian domestic fic. To hold you over until I finish chapter 10 of Shape of you =)

Nesta was beyond exhausted. Ever since they had come home from the healer their son had been a good baby. He had been an easy baby. On a schedule to eat and sleep around the same time every day. He barely cried, he smiled at her. He loved her and his father. He was a good baby, an easy baby. Everyone was obsessed with how easy he was. So different from Elain and Azriel’s little one.

But then something changed.

When he hit the 3 month mark and his father was called to check on the camps yet again. Cassian went without a second thought, even though he promised Nesta he would be here to help her in the first few months of their son’s life. Nesta hadn’t realized it until he was gone, but their son was more attached to his father than anyone else. They had bonded and now he only wanted Cassian.

He had been gone for longer than a few days. And for the two weeks Kaden wouldn't stop crying. No matter how hard she tried Nesta couldn't settle him. She was running on less than 3 hours of sleep.

She had tried everything. Nursing him. Changing him. Bouncing him. She sang to him. She rocked him. She bathed him, she rubbing his wings softly the way Cassian did. She had done everything her tired mind could think of.

And yet he was still crying.

"Please," she sighed, "please Kaden stop crying. Mommy is tired."

She paced back and forth across the room. Her hand rubbing along his tiny back as he wailed. He was up against her shoulder, screaming away loudly in her ear. Her hair was haphazardly thrown up on top of her head. His little fist kept hitting her cheek. She looked as tired and helpless as she felt.

Her mate and stubborn ass husband had been summonsed two weeks ago and still hadn't come home. He told her, when he was running out of their house, it would only be a few hours. Rhysand only needed his help with one little thing at the Illyrian camp. When he didn’t come home that same night, Nesta knew he wouldn’t be home for a while.

Nesta was too tired to yell at him through the bond. Their son already adored his father. She knew he would only settle for him. If only he didn't always go running when his high lord or lady called.

"Kaden, please. You need sleep and so do I," Nesta was begging now. Begging her three month old baby boy to stop crying. She was on the verge of tears.

She had officially lost it.

"Oh I am going to kill your dad," she muttered as she felt a tug on the bond. He was checking in her.

Which meant he wasn't coming home again tonight.

She kept bouncing her little boy, making soothing noises even though nothing was working. She had never been so tired in her life. But she had also never been so in love. Her baby was a carbon copy of his father. The only exception were his bright steel blue gray eyes he had gotten from her. His dark hair was long for three months. It had given her heartburn for months on end.

His little wings were Nesta's favorite part. They were beautiful, exactly like his father's. Nesta would never tell him but she loved Cassian's wings. She loved the safety they offered her, the way he protected her with them. She knew one day her son would fall in love and have a mate.

And his wings would do the same thing.

Nesta's nerves were fried as Kaden kept crying. Tears filled Nesta's eyes as she closed them and wondered how someone like her, a fae who was powerful and feared, had a son who wouldn't sleep. She felt her energy waning. She couldn't keep going.

Where the hell was Cassian? He promised they were in this together.

When Nesta had gotten pregnant, the result of a very long anniversary celebration in which she had forgotten to take her tonic along, Cassian had been thrilled. She only saw her mate cry once, the day she accepted their bond and married him. But tears filled his eyes when she sat him down and told him about the little baby bat they were going to have.

Cassian was shocked by the news. They hadn't been trying but they had been married for over a century now. Mates for even longer. But Nesta wasn't thrilled to find out she was carrying Cassian's baby.

She was terrified.

She had been a terrible sister to Elain and Feyre. She hadn't stepped up and helped when their mom died. She let her baby sister take care of them, she let her selfishness take hold of her. How could she possibly be a mother if she was so selfish? How could she raise a child when she could barely raise herself?

She was humming Kaden a lullaby, her eyes still closed as she swayed back and forth.

The scent of leather and sandalwood wrapped around her as Kaden's cries got louder. Something surged inside her chest and when she opened her eyes she found her mate standing in the doorway watching her. She knew what she looked like. Her hair was a mess, dark circles were under her eyes. She wore one of his big white shirts because she couldn't sleep without his scent mixed with hers.

But he still looked at her like she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. His brown eyes danced in the dim light of the nursery. Half his lip curled in a smile, he was a sight for her very sore and very tired eyes.

"Hey sweetheart," his deep voice went straight through her. Even with her exhaustion the pain of missing him hit her and she wanted nothing more than to wrap herself around him.

But then Kaden wailed in her ear.

"Please," her voice was small and strained, "he won't stop crying."

Cassian stepped into the room and reached for this son. His skin touched hers and she felt the same spark, the same tingle she had felt ever since they had mated. The love she held for him intensified. Magnified.

Kaden kept crying as Cassian held him against his chest. Then he took in a deep breath and opened his eyes. When he realized he was in his father's arms, pressed against his sculpted chest, his cries slowly died. Nesta's mouth fell open as Cassian's hair fell in front of his face. Their son lifted his fist up towards his father, Cassian touching his cheek with the tip of his forefinger.

The smile he wore was enough to make Nesta regret ever being scared of this. Scared of a life, of a family with the one she was meant to be with.

Her exhaustion won out though. Her mind not able to truly comprehend what had happened.

"How did you do that?" She whispered leaning against the rocking chair.

Cassian looked up at his mate and gave her that famous cocky smile, "magic."

Nesta rolled her eyes and stood up. She walked closer and looked down at Kaden, his eyes were closed, his breathing even. He was fast asleep and perfectly happy. Not a tear on his tiny little chubby cheeks.

"You know what I don't care how you did it. He's your problem now."

Cassian laughed, "go sleep sweetheart. I've got him."

He pressed a kiss to her forehead and Nesta nodded. She wanted more, she wanted to feel his skin against hers. She wanted to fall asleep in his arms, right where Kaden was nestled happily, finally sleeping soundly.

But she pulled away and walked towards their room, leaving father and son to do as they pleased. Because for the first time in a month, she was finally able to fall asleep.

---

Nesta woke up and the house was quiet. She started to panic, usually Kaden had started crying by now. He wasn't beside her and she shot up out of bed and went towards his nursery. She couldn't remember the last time she woke up without him crying.

Then she remembered, she felt the pride pulse through the bond. Cassian. He was home and there was giggling in the living room. Nesta walked out of the nursery slowly, into the dark hallway. When she reached the doorway she stopped and watched her mate and her husband on the couch.

Cassian was in love with their son from the moment he was nothing more than a tiny pea in her belly. He had been so obsessed with her pregnancy she had threatened to kick him out of the house. Always touching her stomach, always telling her to rest. But he was there and Nesta knew that was what she truly wanted.

When Kaden was born Cassian held her hand. He cut the cord and held their son first. And in those precious first moments father and son created their own bond. One Nesta knew she would never understand, but she would also never try to interfere with.

"Hey buddy. You know you gotta sleep for mommy. She doesn't sing for just anyone," Nesta smiled slightly as she listened, "she used to sing me that song. When my wings were broken. When I thought she'd never love me."

Kaden smiled at his dad. Cassian tapped his chin, "and she loves you buddy. So much. Don't ever doubt that. She loves with fire, and she loves as hard as she does everything else. And you and me, we are the luckiest males there ever were. Because she loves us, K. We are the only ones she loves without fear, buddy."

Tears filled Nesta's eyes as she stepped into the room and the boys looked her way.

"Well good morning sweetheart," Cassian sat up, tickling Kaden's cheek with his wing, "did you sleep well? I hope we didn't wake you. I wanted you to get some real sleep."

Nesta wrapped her arms around his shoulders, "I love you," she whispered, pressing a kiss to his jaw, "no you two didn't wake me. Well the lack of crying might have startled me."

"I love you too," he smiled as their son cooed in his arms, smiling up at his mother. He looked so happy to have his father back. It nearly broke Nesta's heart.

Kaden reached for Nesta and she took him, stepping away from the couch. Cassian stood up and then Kaden nuzzled her chest, "someone is hungry," she said feeling her heart soar for her baby boy. She wasn't sleep deprived anymore, she felt like herself again.

Cassian watched as Nesta pushed aside his shirt and his son nuzzled further into his mates chest. He had forgotten this part. He had been gone for a few weeks and forgot what being a mother had done to his mate. It had softened her. His eyes were wide as he watched and Nesta raised an eyebrow waiting for him to say something.

"Yeah little man I like them too," he wiggled his eyebrows, touching his tiny foot, as his son began to nurse.

"Shut up," she rolled her eyes but her mate pulled her close. The bond surged and Nesta leaned into him feeling like she had been missing half of her soul with him gone, "I missed you."

He groaned, "I didn't get to properly greet you, sweetheart," he whispered as he kissed her softly, their son nestled between them, "and for the record I missed you too."

"You stink, you need a bath," she said scrunching her nose up as Kaden stayed attached to her chest. Cassian laughed, pulling his hair back away from his face. There was stubble along his jaw, Nesta wanted to press a kiss against the small patch near his ear.

Cassian's eyes were bright. He looked as tired as she felt earlier, "sorry love. I flew all night to get back. When Rhys said I could leave I didn't wait. I knew you were overwhelmed with him. I'm sorry we were gone for so long."

Nesta sighed, "I understand. It's your job. But this is your job too. Our job," she looked at her little boy, the resemblance to his father was amazing. She had forgotten in the last month how much he looked like him, "I need you."

He stepped forward and kissed her forehead, "I know sweetheart. And I promise, I'm not going back for a while."

Nesta smiled and pushed down her emotions, forcing the tears away, "well I've decided you aren't allowed to go anywhere anymore. Since our son only seems to fall asleep for you."

Cassian's smile made her chest tight. Gods above she loved this man. She had never been so in love in her life. It was like all the terrible moments she had been through had been leading her here to him.

"He adores you," Nesta whispered softly as their son finished and reached for his father once more. Nesta straightened her shirt back out, covering herself even though she felt Cassian’s eyes linger, "I don't know why, but he does."

Her husband laughed, "because I am amazing," he kissed her cheek and then brought their tiny baby up to his broad shoulder. His little hands reached for Cassian's wings and he giggled as he pulled them away. It was their favorite game, one Cassian had played with him since he was born.

Nesta smoothed down his wild dark hair, hair that matched his father's in every way. She smiled as their baby wiggled trying to chase his wings. Cassian fluttered his wings once more and their son laughed.

It was the most beautiful sound Nesta had ever heard. Her son and her mate, laughing. A moment that she never thought she'd have, not after the war that had almost taken them both. Not when Cassian had been so broken by everything that he barely smiled for those few months after it all ended. Nesta thought she had lost him, she didn't realize how broken he had been.

This was a moment Nesta never expected to appear.

But it was the moment she knew she would do it all over again, she'd go through every pain and every fear, if it led her here to this. If it led her here to them.

Because her mate held her heart, which had been given flesh, in his arms and her soul was nestled right there beside his. Where it would stay for the rest of their immortal lives.

And Nesta knew exactly what magic Cassian was talking about as she stood there watching them. Because it was that same magic Cassian possessed that made her fall in love with him and would forever tether them together. The magic that had blessed her all those years ago.

The magic she had once cursed and now would forever cherish. Because it had given her a second chance at happiness.