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myloveforhergoeson · 8 months ago

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That's All She Wrote - Chapter 28

Chapter Index

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Chapter 28: Five Minutes to Midnight ~ 25k

hi! this chapter is a collection of short stories - time skips are denoted by "~" and story changes are denoted by "***" :) tw: mentions of underage drinking

The day after Christmas, the largest snowstorm the Midwest had seen in 30 years subsided, and Big Time Rush, their assistant, and family members were able to get their flights rescheduled so they could spend some time back home before the new year.

Though Roxy and Declan had to part with the boys, Katie, and Mrs. Knight at their flight gate, it didn’t stop the young writer and her boyfriend from a parting goodbye that felt as though it belonged in an old black and white movie. To an onlooker, it might have seemed as though James and Roxy would never see each other ever again when in reality, he was flying to Duluth and she was flying to Green Bay.

Somebody had to collect the ancient Somerset family truck, Dynamo, from Wisconsin, and Roxy certainly wasn’t going to make her father do it alone, especially after his wonderful holiday surprise of meeting her in Los Angeles so they didn’t spend Christmas apart. Despite it adding five more hours to their travel time to Duluth, she was more than happy to spend it with him.

More than once on the way to the airport, Roxy asked James to come with her and her father to Green Bay, but he unfortunately had to decline the invitation. He assured her he’d much rather spend the time with her, but his father was already made aware of their flight plans and was going to meet him and Carlos at the Duluth airport to take them both home.

So, the pair had a dramatic farewell - James being entirely over the top as he quietly double-checked to make sure his girlfriend had taken her air sickness medication and Roxy clinging to him so tightly she probably left a few crescent-shaped indentations on his skin from her nails - and after a deep kiss and lots of groans from their friends, the two groups managed to go their separate ways through the bustling airport.

Admittedly, the songwriter was quite worried as she and her dad passed through the large crowds of people. This was the first time in her life she’d be taking a flight without James and that wasn’t sitting well with her. Even if he hadn’t been there for her on their first two flights, their solo trek back to Los Angeles at the beginning of the summer had been far different.

Of course, Roxy hadn’t realized it at the time, but It would be impossible for her to ever forget the jitters she felt when he held her hand during take-off or the way he checked on her whenever she finally felt well enough to weakly lift her head off his shoulder. Despite what felt like the entire world crumbling around them as they had jettisoned back out to California to work with a criminally insane record producer without their best friends, he had stayed awake the entire red-eye flight to comfort her as if she were the only thing in the world that mattered to him.

While she reflected, she could feel the smile tugging at her lips. I love being the center of his attention.

Just as the pair of them happened upon the correct gate, C10, Roxy heard her father mutter something as he stared out of the large, floor-to-ceiling windows. At the base of the plane they’d be traveling on, the luggage handlers were roughly loading everything into the spacious haul, including two identical black guitar cases.

“What was that?” She said teasingly, nudging him with her elbow as they continued to stare, watching as their items rode up the conveyor belt and into the luggage compartment.

Declan blinked before guiding his daughter to a few open seats in front of the airline help desk. “I said ‘This is why I hate flying.’ On top of the damn ticket check-in an’ obnoxious TSA screenings an’ ridiculously priced coffee,” He gestured to a small cafe in front of them advertising seven-dollar lattes, “They don’t even handle your things with care! He just threw a 300-dollar guitar on the belt like it was nothing!”

While his complaints were entirely valid, Roxy had known him more than long enough to know none of those reasons were truly what was riling him up. As they sat beside each other, she noticed his bouncing leg and tight grip on the armrest beside him. That, mixed with his fast-paced rambling and thickening of his Southern accent, told her one thing. Her father, the bravest man she knew, was anxious and she was pretty sure she could figure out why.

That explains why we’ve never flown anywhere together…

Roxy had figured it was simply because flying was expensive; She and her father hadn’t ever vacationed far from home - Always to locations within acceptable driving distance. But now, watching him fiddle with the zipper on his carry-on, she couldn’t help but chuckle.

Another nudge. “That’s the only thing you hate about flying?”

“I don’t care for the tiny, crowded seats, either.” His voice was barely heard over the hustle and bustle of other airport patrons around them.

“You’re so pessimistic.” She rolled her eyes.

“Well if you want me to say something nice, I suppose I can’t complain about the little peanuts they give you.”

“Those are only good if you can manage to keep them down.”

Finally, eyes widening, Declan caught drift of what Roxy was trying to get at. Apparently, airsickness ran in the family.

“No… Not you too, honey bun…”

Slowly, she nodded. “It would’ve been nice of you to warn me of that before I got on my first plane!”

“I was hoping it had skipped a generation. Sucks all the fun out of goin’ places, doesn’t it?” When he finally turned to face her, watching as she placed her carry-on luggage between her knees, he nervously rubbed one calloused hand over his tattooed forearm. “There’s only been three times in my life I’ve been on a plane. Once, your grammy took me to Disney World when I graduated eighth grade, then when I chased Dana from Austin to Duluth, and then again, yesterday, to meet you here.”

Grammy. Dana. Two people her father rarely mentioned, but both of them in one go? Unheard of.

Roxy swallowed, letting his words sink in. It was hard to figure out what to say whenever he brought up people from his past. Neither of those individuals were people he spoke to anymore, for good reason in her opinion, so the subject was always a bit touchy. For a moment, she wondered if her grandmother would be proud of the man he had become since cutting her off seventeen years ago.

She certainly was proud of him; There wasn’t any man on Earth better than her father.

“We’re tied then.” The girl settled on, ignoring the people Declan had mentioned entirely, reaching out to place one hand over his to help ease some of the tension. “Twice to LA, once to Duluth. They tried to get me on a plane during tour but I flat-out refused and took the bus cross-country instead. But you learn a few things when your job requires such consistent travel…” Using one hand to flip open the black flap of the mini backpack in her lap, Roxy rooted around for the small white capsule containing the Dramamine Mrs. Knight had offered her before their departure. “Take a few of these. It won’t really help, but sometimes it’s enough to trick your body into chilling out for the first half hour-ish. We’ll get through the rest together.”

Shockingly enough, Declan sighed, accepting the small tube from his daughter and swallowing two of the little pills dry. Then, slinging a lazy arm around her shoulder, he pulled her into a small half-hug. “That’s my girl. So grown up, jet-setting across the States with her pop band… You hardly need me to take care of you anymore, huh?”

That was true, she felt, and she admittedly had for quite some time, but she’d never, ever let him know that. It didn’t change their relationship in the slightest; It didn’t affect just how much love she had for him. “Don’t be silly, Dad, I’ll always need you to take care of me.”

Both Roxy and Declan had a miserable flight to Wisconsin, running to opposite sides of the plane like clockwork to take care of their sickness. Whenever they returned to their seats, however, they had a brief period of respite where they were able to weakly hold a conversation or talk about something that had been going on in their separate worlds.

Secretly, Roxy wished James were there, but respected the commitment he and his father had made to meet back in Duluth. Through most of her nausea, she couldn’t concentrate on much else, but when her head was clear enough, she sometimes wondered if he thought it was a chore to take care of her when they had flown back to Los Angeles together. The thoughts were unwelcome and hard to neglect, but she chalked it up to her illness as she burrowed into her Dad’s shoulder - when he was around at least - and tried to focus on the rock music flooding through their shared headphones.

Declan’s playlists always brought back welcome memories of the times he’d picked her up from school, the special songs he’d taught her to play on the guitar as she was growing up, every time he’d play music trivia with her while they made dinner together. The hold music had on both of their lives was simultaneously the same and vastly different, shaping who each of them were while together and apart. All the comforting feelings from the familiar guitar chords and rebellious lyrics eased the girl greatly, eventually allowing her to ward off her ailment enough to close her eyes and nod off for a while.

By the time they arrived in Green Bay, the pair were more than ecstatic to get off the plane as quickly as possible, and take one more trip to the bathroom, before gathering their additional luggage and guitars. While the hustle and bustle of this airport was nothing like LAX, it was still busy regardless, taking even more time to get to the parking garage from the influx of people heading out of the baggage claim. Each moment that ticked by where she wasn’t getting any closer to Duluth was a moment Roxy began to miss her friends even more.

It was strange, being so connected to the band she physically felt an emptiness when they weren’t near each other, but unsurprising. Those four had a way of digging into her heart since the very first moment they’d met and had been subtly carving themselves deeper and deeper with each passing day.

Aren’t you supposed to get tired of the people you spend every single moment of every single day with? She thought to herself, half-joking to try and dull the ache.

When they finally found the ancient, rusty blue truck in the airport parking lot, Declan realized something was bugging Roxy, so he let her pick the music for their long ride home. That was something he always did when she was in a bad mood; It was an unspoken invitation to talk it out or leave nothing said as they simply enjoyed each other’s comforting company to the sound of a background track.

First, she dug around in Dynamo’s glove box while her father took his place behind the wheel. Most of the tapes they had each made were in there, the ones they’d deemed travel-worthy anyway, along with the truck’s registration and various, small emergency supplies. The collection she had managed to pull out on her first try yielded one of the first tapes she had ever made - All her favorite songs from about five years ago - and the mix her dad had made for her to listen to as she was growing up. Each of them held 45 minutes on each side, so they’d have enough time to listen to both, and she popped in the cassette her father constructed to listen to first while he started up the vehicle.

After a few turns of the key, Dynamo’s engine loudly roared to life with a shutter that reached the entire cab. Another familiar feeling, one she certainly didn’t ever get in the Pontiac, as her father pulled the car out of its parking spot and the two began the journey home.

The idle small talk they had been making stopped the moment the first song began to play through the old, on the verge of blowing out speakers.

Being the music-obsessed man he was, of course, the first song Declan had chosen for his daughter’s tape was “Roxanne” by the Police. Not only was it one of his favorite songs of all time, but it had been the inspiration for her name.

“A musical name for my musical girl,” He’d always told her whenever he played the song for Roxy when she was younger. “This one was on the radio when I received the best news of my life…”

Declan claimed to have made many mistakes as a teenager, but assured her that listening to this song always reminded him that his life had turned out on the right track. Without “Roxanne” he’d never have fallen in love with music, he’d never have started his own band and discovered the emerging punk scene in his hometown of Austin, Texas, and without that, he’d have never had Roxanne.

When Roxy was old enough to begin to understand the lyrics and asked him what it meant to “put on the red light,” it had originally been to make him squirm, get him to admit that he didn’t really think about what it meant to name her after the song. Her rebellious phase hit quite swiftly once she turned thirteen, but dissipated about a year after, so now, she’d sometimes ask him randomly, for fun. In those cases, he’d ruffle her hair and make up a new absurd lie each time; Something silly and stupid, never truly telling her what it meant, though he knew for a fact she knew.

She suspected this song had something to do with her favorite color being red.

Leaning her head in the crook of her arm and staring out the window as they flew down the highway, Roxy reached for the dial and turned the volume up a few notches, but asked, “Tell me what putting on the red light means again?”

“Aren’t you listening to the song? She’s clearly using the light to interrupt a secret spy code!”

“Roxanne the spy does have a nice ring to it… Roxanne de la Rouge!”

He didn’t respond after that, though he did crack a small smile, simply tapping the wheel to the drum beat and checking the road signs to make sure they were on the right track.

The more cars they passed, the heavier her eyelids felt. Flying always took a lot out of her - Far more than she cared to admit. By the time the second song rolled around, “Ever Fallen in Love (With Someone You Shouldn’t’ve?)” by Buzzcocks, she was in and out of consciousness, thinking about how much she couldn’t wait to be back in Minnesota with her friends. At song three, “Real Cool Time” by the Stooges, she realized what a strange thought that was, considering months ago, that had been her worst nightmare.

Wherever we are… As long as we’re together, was her final conclusion, before slipping off to dreamland.

They stopped halfway home to have lunch at a diner off the side of the highway. It was a much-needed break, and a good idea for the pair to refuel at the gas station on the opposite corner, but in the blink of an eye Declan and Roxy were back in the truck, motoring as quickly as they could to get back home.

The grease dripping off of Roxy’s burger had settled nicely in her stomach, making her crave something from Duluth’s Bun In A Million; Still trying to wrap her head around the fact she was excited to be back in the Midwest.

By the time her tape of songs had run out, she hardly even noticed, spacing out as she stared at the miles of farmland whizzing by her window. Wordlessly, her dad reached out across the center console and nudged her to pull her out of her daze, pointing to the glove box.

Popping the small compartment in front of her open, Roxy blinked a few times to focus her attention and began to push various papers and items out of her way to find the other tapes they had stashed in Dynamo. It wouldn’t be so messy if he had just bought the tape organizer I told him to…

When her hands finally found something plastic under a box of bandaids, she pulled it out to discover a cassette she had never seen in the car before. Instead of the standard black of the blank tapes Declan had scattered all over their house, this one was bright white, with his smudged handwriting sprawled across the top.

BTR

Roxy could hardly contain the grin curling her lips as she hastily popped her mix out of the car’s stereo and inserted the recording of her band’s first album. Though it took a few seconds to play - Declan had never been the best at making pristine recordings - by the time the intro to “Big Time Rush” started she could hear his deep laughter standing out against the melody.

When their first album had been released, she had been sure to send a signed CD home as a testament to her songwriting ability. Though she had assumed her dad had tucked it away somewhere for safekeeping, she’d never have guessed he would’ve made a tape of it to listen on the go. When the first chorus hit, Roxy learned something else: Declan knew all the words.

It was almost enough for her to erupt in a fit of giggles, listening to him unabashedly belt out his declaration to go “big time” and at the bridge, she decided to join him in singing while playing air guitar to the chords she’d written her first night in Los Angeles.

The pair continued like that, through “Famous” and “Any Kind of Guy” and then the rest of the tracks, all the way to the end with “Stuck” when they were interrupted by the sound of Roxy’s phone going off.

Now “Boyfriend” was attempting to get into the song mix, with the writer swiftly taking her phone out of her back pocket and turning down the car’s stereo emphasizing the riff coming from the tiny cell speakers. A picture of her and James on their second-first date lit up her screen as she accepted the call.

“Hello?”

“Hey, babe! Just wanted to let you know we all made it home safe and sound.”

It wasn’t lost on Roxy that her dad snorted at James’ words; She mustn’t have had her speaker volume turned down enough.

Shifting the device to her right hand, she slugged Declan on the shoulder. “Ugh, I’m so jealous. We’ve still got about two hours left, I think.” By the way the sun was beginning to shine directly into her eyes, she guessed, “Probably won’t be back until way after dark.”

On the other line, she heard some background deliberation meaning James was probably with Kendall, Carlos, and Logan, and it took a second for him to respond, “The guys and I are going to kick it at Carlos’ for the night, think you can make it?”

How are they so go, go, go…

“As much as I’d love to, jet lag is kicking my ass. It’s time for a much-needed night in for me.”

“Suit yourself!” He laughed before lowering his voice. Roxy could practically imagine him turning away from his friends and cradling his phone to his ear while he said, “Let me know when you make it to town. Since I’m not there to kiss you goodnight in person I figured I could-”

Immediately, her cheeks flushed before remembering where she was. “O-okay! Yes, I’ll… do that. Bye!”

His confused, “Bye?” hardly made it through the speaker before she ended the call, scrambling to put her phone back into her pocket and pretending to be very interested in the small town she and her dad were passing through out the window.

Declan shuffled a bit, the aging leather of Dynamo’s seats letting out a squeak in response. Soon after, “Stuck” ended and Roxy heard him flip the tape over to a live version of the unreleased “This is Our Someday.” A recording he must have made at their hometown concert over the summer.

Though she much preferred the guitar piece she had written for the live show, she hoped her dad would enjoy the studio version just as much.

While the song played, Roxy still stared out the window, trying to work through the complex emotions of being embarrassed by her unsuspecting boyfriend in front of her father. We sure are on a roll this week…

“He’s good to you, right?”

The girl felt her eyes widen, letting the question rattle around in her brain for a minute before sighing, “Dad…”

Music turned down to zero, Declan asked her again.

“I’ll call Jo and Camille. The three of you can deliberate on it,” Roxy tried to quip, wanting to have literally any conversation but this one with her father. If she could sink into her seat and disappear at this very moment, she probably would.

Leather squeaking again, Declan blew out a large puff of air. “Seriously, Honey Bun. Teenage musicians, they’re-”

“I know!”

Like really. I know. Not that her father ever needed to hear about Dak Zevon. If that went anything like their conversation after her fiasco with Mag last year, he’d probably end up with his face plastered on wanted posters on every street corner of California.

“Roxanne,” Declan said softly. “Please. Even with you living all the way across the country, I’m still your Dad. I gotta make sure.”

His daughter crossed her arms, pulling her knees up to her chest even with the uncomfortable seat belt cutting into her collarbone. “Yes, James is good to me.” Though that alone felt a bit unconvincing, and she audibly swallowed before following, “More like, perfect to me. He listens to me ramble about songwriting, always makes me feel like I’m the most beautiful person he’s ever seen, we never fight… We spend as much time together as possible and I’m really happy being with him.”

For someone who writes love songs… Damn, that was cliche.

“Okay, alright… Thank you.” Her father conceded, seemingly content with the answer she had given him. There was a beat of silence before he gripped the steering wheel tightener, “And you’re being safe?”

“Dad!”

Her exasperation was enough to get him to finally let out a little chuckle, “He’s your first boyfriend, Roxy! A boy and a musician. I’ve just gotta double-check!”

“We’re not-” The writer stopped herself from saying anything else in immediate response, doing her best to understand where her father was coming from. More than anyone, he understood her situation best. He had been a teenage boy and a musician - one who often proclaimed he hadn’t been safe when he was her age. His questions weren’t to annoy her, he just needed to fuel his peace of mind. “The last year has been the best year of my life. I’m not going to do anything that puts my future in danger.” Roxy turned away from the window, finally glancing over at her dad to catch his solemn nod of understanding. “And one day this might be easy to talk about, but it’s fresh, and it’s new, and… you’re my dad.”

Declan nodded again, anxiously rubbing the back of his neck at the response he had elicited from his daughter. “Yeah… Sorry for the ninth degree. I just love you. Loads.”

“Sorry for snapping back,” She mumbled, but she knew he didn’t care. As much as they’d pushed each other's buttons in the past, he’d never, ever been angry with her. “And I love you too.”

Catching his half smile as he kept his eyes on the road, Roxy felt herself begin to smile too. She had forgotten just what it felt like to have her dad around, and now the excitement of being home wasn’t all that confusing anymore.

She didn’t miss being in Duluth, she missed being around her father.

***

Finding something to wear to a show was always a struggle for Roxy. Back in Brand New Day, an old band t-shirt or flannel, some skinny jeans, and black boots were practically a uniform worn at every single gig. While on the Big Time Rush tour, her options were equally as simple - Something cute, matching whatever colors the boys were wearing that night, that didn’t make her stand out in the slightest. But to a basement show in her hometown? Nothing in her closet seemed like the right way to go.

She hadn’t even been planning on going to one over the holiday break, but she had run into her old lab partner, Catherine Endicott while at the grocery store earlier, and she wasn’t ever one to pass up an invitation to enjoy the local music scene. So many incredible bands and musicians had come out of Minnesota; It would be a shame to miss out on potentially seeing the next big thing right as they got their start.

“Bob Dylan, The Replacements, Hüsker Dü, Big Time Rush… Minnesota is crawling with musical talent,” She rambled, twisting her hair up into a large claw clip and letting the ends stick up, framing the top of her head like a spiky crown, while speaking to a spaced-out James. “Now we get to see Cait’s band, Under the Bleachers!”

It sounded like he was humming along to the OneRepublic song on the radio station he’d picked, sitting on top of her messily made bed while she dug through her closet to try and find something she’d feel comfortable in.

Fashion was always a mixed bag at underground shows, and that had never really bothered her before, but she’d found she favored more colorful and trendy outfits than the experimental and quirky style she often saw at house gigs. Typically, she’d just wear whatever and bolster the strange looks because she’d be with her dad - in his own grunge style - and he’d ward off any unwanted glances or sly comments. But going with James, the poster boy for everything mainstream, would not afford her such grace.

So… Blend in but make it my own… She determined, reaching all the way into the back of her closet for the punkish outfits she used to wear while she was in Brand New Day. It felt like forever ago now, but that had been her style when trying to fit in with Mag and Dani at their shows, but these days, not so much.

“So we’re going to see a show by a band you’ve never heard of because someone you kind of know invited you?” James asked, clarifying the situation she had hurriedly explained to him on the phone as she’d come home from the store. Of course, he had been more than eager to bike over to her place in his “alternative” outfit - which to him was a pair of nice black jeans, a black v-neck, and a black jacket - but was having some trouble grasping the concept of seeing an artist they didn’t know.

Even though he couldn’t see her buried in the back of her closet, the girl nodded as she slid hanger after hanger toward her to check out all her options. “Duh. Most of the people at our first show didn’t know who we were either, but they came because of our amazing advertising!”

Oh… Good times, Roxy fondly recalled running around L.A. handing out as many Big Time Rush fliers as she could and inviting anyone to their show that would stop long enough to listen. Brand New Day’s advertising strategy had been similar, but she also had the power of the airwaves to help her out at the Project Pop radio station.

Taking in her words, James continued humming to the radio, as Roxy’s fingers landed on a long-forgotten t-shirt she had been keeping tucked away for a special occasion. James’ first basement show seemed like as good a time as any, and she managed to pair it with a short, red skirt and a pair of black fishnet tights.

As quickly as she had found it, she ran into the bathroom to change, feeling much more like herself than she had figured she would as she admired her picks in the large mirror. Not only was this her first concert with James, but it would also be her first underground show since she left Brand New Day. A part of her was irrationally worried that she’d see Mag and Dani there, but Duluth wasn’t that small a city, and Cait hadn’t mentioned running into them during their brief conversation earlier.

Then again… They did show up at the Palm Woods…

“When you say ‘we’ are you talking about Big Time Rush or your old band?” She heard James call through the closed door, just as she managed to slip the final component of her outfit on; A gold chain belt cooly rested against her exposed midriff after she’d tied up the shirt, matching the charm necklace hanging around her neck.

Aside from the time Kendall had stolen her journal and passed it off to famous internet blogger Deke, that had been the first time he’d asked her something regarding her musical past. Not that she didn’t mind sharing - with him at least - the question simply caught her off guard. Despite a long-standing friendship, their relationship was still in the beginning stages. Roxy’s heart skipped; It was nice that even after knowing each other quite well, there was still much for them to learn about each other.

Slowly opening the door to the bathroom and making a beeline back to her closet for a pair of black boots, Roxy considered her next words carefully, “Yes to both; But each time we did a significant amount of advertising. Word of mouth does wonders in any town… Ergo, we’re seeing Cait’s band.”

When she finally turned around to find the jewelry box on her dresser, she felt James’ eyes glued to her as she crossed the small room. It made her chest flutter, knowing he couldn’t stop staring at her, and just for fun, she used it to her advantage as she coyly glanced over her shoulder and shot him a wink before picking out a pair of matching earrings.

“Rox…” He almost whispered, and the springs of her bed groaned as he stood up. In response, he brought a fist to his mouth before clearing his throat and she didn’t miss the unmistakable dusting of pink blushing the top of his ears. “I know you’re going to be freezing but is it bad that I don’t care? I never want you to take that off…”

In the vanity mirror she was using to check her outfit, she noticed he crept closer while he spoke, gaze suspiciously targeting her legs. When he reached out to wrap his arms around her, she playfully evaded his grasp with a nicely timed side-step.

“Oh, my God!” Roxy cried, cutting into his sentence with a few uncontrollable snorts of laughter and an accusatory finger, meeting him in the middle of the room. “You’ve got a thing for fishnets!”

She watched James freeze, glancing up at the ceiling fan lazily rotating around. In response, he let out a few beats of an innocent whistle before rocking back and forth on his heels. “Whaaat! No!”

Acting against his words, his hand reached out to grab hers at the same time his gaze flickered down just long enough to give her another once-over, noticeably lingering on her tights. When the writer opened her mouth again to tease him, he beat her to the punch and changed the subject, pointing to the old black and white band t-shirt she had tied up above her navel. “Who’s Dec and the Desires? Never heard you talk about them before.”

Another question that made her giddy, and she grinned as she laced her fingers between his and pulled him into the living room toward the front door, making sure to grab a lighter from the kitchen junk drawer on the way out. “An underground punk band I love. They were really big in the late 80’s and early 90’s in Austin, Texas. Though, I figure you can put the rest together yourself, considering you know the lead singer.”

It seemed as though her words confused her boyfriend for a moment, as they stepped out of the Somerset’s one-story and out onto the freezing streets of Minnesota. Of course, James had been right, and Roxy was freezing, but Cait’s house was only a few blocks away. She could brave the cold in the name of fashion.

Besides, I’ve got my own personal space heater…

“I do?” He asked, eyes darting around the empty driveway before his brows knit in confusion.

Roxy carefully tugged him toward the mostly snow-cleared sidewalk, silently letting him know they’d be walking to their destination instead of driving; Someone had been caught up at work after taking an impromptu day off on Christmas Eve and kept Dynamo out late. “Yes, baby. Dec… and the Desires?”

James blinked, either still confused or taking in the pet name he wasn’t quite used to as he followed her lead.

Oh my…

“Declan?” She tried again, doing her best to keep from shivering too much as she and James traversed the icy path. “Somerset?”

“Oh! Your dad was in a band like you?” The genuine curiosity in his voice made her melt a smidge and she snugged his arm into her chest as she practically pulled him down the street to Cait’s. “I didn’t know that, Rox! Kendall and I talked his ear off about sports backstage when we could’ve been asking for music advice! He’s way nicer than Gustavo.”

Her heart involuntarily squeezed at the thought of James feeling comfortable going to her father for advice. “Yeah, they were really going places. Headlining local venues, sending for record labels, lining up an independently run U.S. tour, until…” She paused, realizing she’d never spoken with anyone besides her dad and old band about his small stint in the music industry. Until me. “He’ll talk your ear off about the glory days if you’d let him.”

“It’s neat that the two of you have so much in common… My parents always had to drag me to stuff about Brooke Diamond Cosmetics - Thank God that’s all over,” James nodded, slinging an arm around his girlfriend as they walked. Try as she might to contain her shivers, he could feel the involuntary shakes and goosebumps riddling her arm under his fingertips. “What did I tell you about being cold?!”

Roxy knew he was changing the subject so she wouldn’t ask any follow-up questions about his statement. In all the time they’d known each other, this was the first in which he’d willingly brought up the company his mother ran. Besides, the writer had only made the connection that he was the Brooke Diamond’s son during an interview on the band’s summer tour - If James had wanted her to know that sooner, he would’ve told her.

Just as he was interested to learn more about her past, she was curious about his, but decided not to push her luck as they traveled on to Cait’s. James would share when he was ready and that was perfectly fine with Roxy.

They hadn’t even been in the crowded, boiling basement for 10 minutes when a guy around James and Roxy’s age, dripping in metal spikes and heavy chains, came up to them, asking the latter if she was ever in a band because she looked “kinda, sorta, super familiar.” The show wasn’t even close to starting yet.

The writer shrugged him off, playing with the rim of the red Solo cup in her hand when she brought up Big Time Rush - knowing full well that wasn’t what he had meant by his question - and introduced him to James who was far more versed in interactions like these. Just as quickly as the guy had come to speak with them, he wrinkled his nose at the thought of meeting a member of a boy band and disappeared into the sea of people around them.

Five minutes, and Roxy’s nervous downing of her drink later, someone else stopped by the couple and asked her the same question. Though she wanted them to stick around a bit and ask for a few tips on how they got their sharp-edged eyeliner to stand out so nicely against their dark eyeshadow, her response was the same as before, as was the individual’s when she brought up the pop band she wrote and composed for.

James, bless his heart, looked a bit uncomfortable with the sheer amount of people packed into the small space and stuck close to her side as she navigated them as best she could around the small space. Despite pouring him a cup straight from the ice-bathing keg’s tap in the corner closest to the entrance, he had declined the drink - “Need to bike home, babe,” - and passed it off to the girl in line behind them.

Then, she asked Roxy if she’d been in a band as well.

Just the thought of anyone associating her with Brand New Day made her nauseous, so she used to boy band line again, and the young girl scurried off to her group of friends, shaking her head at them as if they’d all been wondering the same thing.

Ignoring the slight shake in her fingers as she reached for her boyfriend’s hand, Roxy told herself she brushed off the questions only because Brand New Day was openly establishing themselves as a duo now that they’d moved to Hollywood and signed with Galactic Records. Telling someone she used to play with them might make her look like a liar, or worse, a delusional fan girl.

Yup, that’s totally worse than being a liar, she decided, squeezing James’ hand for comfort while waving in and out through the mass of individuals to try and get to the center of the room. I never want to be associated with them again.

“We’ll be able to hear the best from here!” Roxy assured James as they’d reached the middle of the crowd, having to raise her voice over the noise level, even though she couldn’t see where Cait had set up the instruments over everyone standing in front of her. In her opinion, the only downfall to house shows was the absence of an elevated stage. “Think you’ll be able to see alright?”

The question was inherently dumb; One look over the cramped space told her he was one of the tallest people there - excluding those who had used an insane amount of hairspray to hold up their hairdos and those in platform shoes.

Instead of answering her question, James squeezed her hand back before warmly saying, “You’re famous.”

No question mark, no hesitation. Spoken as though it were the truest of facts.

Taking another sip of her drink, Roxy held it on her tongue for a moment, letting the pungent taste linger before swallowing while she considered his words. Then, the sickly feeling from before returned, heartbeat drumming uncomfortably in her chest, and her immediate reaction was to deflect his statement. “You’re the one in a boy band.”

“No one’s asked me if I was in a band tonight.”

“No one here listens to that kind of music.”

When James realized he wasn’t getting anywhere with this conversation, he sighed and shifted his attention forward to the non-existent stage, while his girlfriend realized how combative her words were coming off. Which, unfortunately, they were designed to be. Brand New Day was the last thing she’d wanted to think about at the show tonight, but he wasn’t asking to be a bother. She knew that, But this wasn’t the setting in which she wanted to have that conversation.

It had just been a long time since she’d considered her past in the Duluth music scene. She never handled the unwanted feelings about her old band members and stolen intellectual property well, as evidenced by the slightly mean tone she’d taken with him.

Though she thought she was over it after she vowed to move on after her last encounter with Mag and Dani at AM LA, actions certainly spoke louder than words.

Roxy took another sip of her drink, starting to feel the beginnings of a buzz itch at the back of her brain. Way to go Rox, drive off the one guy you’ve managed to keep around...

Just as she opened her mouth to apologize, she felt James squeeze her hand again. “Did you play a lot of shows in places like this? How could you stand the distinct… skunky and sweaty smell?”

Saying a silent prayer of thanks he had moved on from the previous line of questioning, Roxy felt her rapid breathing begin to slow.

“More than I could count. Dani’s basement was a bit bigger than this one, though, but most times we’d jump in on someone else’s show if we begged them hard enough,” She shared in earnest, trying to tell herself it wouldn’t be as bad to talk it out with someone she cared about. “Loved every moment of it, too.”

By now, she had finally worked up enough courage to glance up at her boyfriend in the low light, finding him raising an eyebrow at her comment.

“Even the skunky and sweaty smell! Got used to it after a while… But you,” Roxy reached up and poked at his cheek with a loose giggle, “You’ve been venue spoiled. Free snacks and gifts, clean green rooms, crowds of thousands screaming your name… Lucky, lucky boy.”

“That I am,” James assured her, bending down to press a much-wanted kiss to her cheek to let her know everything was alright. “Sounds like you get free drinks at shows like these though. That’s not a perk of our job quite yet.”

Of course, his timing was perfect to when she went to take a sip of her drink, causing her to nearly spit out what little she had left as she snorted a bit of buzz-induced laughter. “Only if you’re friends with the homeowner or you’re incredibly cute. So both of us are in the clear tonight, superstar, because those jeans you’re wearing make me wanna-”

The distinct ringing of microphone feedback surged through her ears, immediately cutting her off from her train of thought as Under the Bleachers took their places at the front of the room and soon, it was replaced with the deep kick of the drum echoing in her chest, carrying over the second-hand speakers. Wasting no time, the band jumped straight into their first song, leaving her little choice but to pull her boyfriend down for a quick kiss against the beginnings of a guitar melody meant to promise there was much more in store for him later.

Lucky for James, Roxy cashed in on her silent promise about halfway through the set when the ear-splittingly loud music had thoroughly rattled her brain and she had managed to finish off her second cup of beer. The room was warm, sure, but he’d wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her closer a few minutes ago, and the temperature prickling her skin reached inferno-like levels just from his touch. Be it the heightened state she had found herself in, the adrenalin rush of her first show in so long, or the fact Cait’s band wrote excellent make-out music, Roxy had dragged James out of the crowd to the back of the room and spent most of the set’s remaining time pressed up against the basement wall with her lips locked onto his.

That was, until the most pit opened, of course.

When the show ended, she nearly cried, but allowed James to navigate them up the staircase and out into Cait’s backyard with everyone else, before eventually making it back out to the sidewalk and heading in the direction of her house.

“Tonight was perfect!” She yelled without regard for the late hour, throwing her head and hands back as the sound echoed off the houses on the road they took. “Can you believe Under the Bleachers are so, so, so good? We should call Gustavo - He needs a girl band and they need a record contract! An album too, lots of albums. So many albums…”

The heat of the basement had almost made them forget the below-freezing temperature outside, but Roxy could hardly feel it as she twirled down the sidewalk, humming what she could remember of the songs they’d played. At some point, her boyfriend had given her his coat, but she didn’t remember when.

When she almost hit a metal mailbox on the street with her hands, James poorly tried to conceal his smile as he caught her around the wrist and pulled her into his side, slinging an arm around her shoulders. “Careful, crazy girl. I know you punks like to break stuff, but let’s keep the damages to a minimum.”

At his statement, she squeezed her eyes shut and stuck out her tongue, shaking her head at the notion. “Not a punk! Not even close!”

Roxy managed to pop one eye open and glance his way, noting the way his head tilted to the side, bottom lip stuck out. It made her giggle.

“Wanna know a secret?” She said, fully intending to whisper it in his ear, but she was too busy continuing to stare at his mouth to focus on her volume. The pair had split her last cup of lukewarm beer; The relaxation it brought had caused her newfound loose lips. “I just like the music, making me the world's biggest poser! I’m not connected to the culture at all; Not like Dad.”

Hand moving up and down on her arm to spark some heat, the perplexed look on James’ face remained. “You think? From what you said earlier it sounds like the two of you were in pretty similar situations. Playing the shows, writing the music, connecting with others around town… Sounds pretty punk to me.”

“He and his band wrote about real issues,” Roxy blurted out, still failing to find the balance between what she should and shouldn’t say. There had been a reason she’d needed to share her last cup with James - The looseness had traveled to whatever part of her brain filtered her speech. “Racism, religious conservatism, labor rights… Shit was bad and they were able to channel it into a musical act of protest. All I ever managed to write about was stupid, trivial teenage stuff to pair over a punky-sounding guitar riff. I still do that, just.. Poppy now.”

James didn’t say anything for a moment, and when she turned to look at him as they rounded the corner of her street, she swore she could see the gears turning in his head. “It’s all about self-expression, though, right?”

A good point - one she hadn’t been expecting him to make. In fact, that had been something she had neglected to realize all night, despite that being one of the core tenets of the genre.

“Getting in touch with your emotions, writing them out, being brave enough to share them… That’s hard for a lot of people, Rox.” The hesitation in his voice made her feel as though he was speaking from experience, but she certainly wasn’t in a state to ask him. “Whether or not you think it’s punk is up to you, but I think it’s pretty extraordinary.”

There were only two times in her life Roxy could remember being rendered speechless - The first time her dad played her Definitely Maybe by Oasis and the first time she’d met Dak Zevon - and now, this was a conversation she could file away in that folder as well. He wasn’t known for always saying the right thing at the right time, but she internalized his words, playing them over and over in her mind as they approached her front door. While she did, her heart was pounding to the point of ache, almost as though it were attempting to break free from her chest and make a new home for itself in James’ hands.

Just as she was figuring out how to respond, he continued with a crack of a smile, “Especially extraordinary when the song you write is about me! Perfect subject matter for my perfect songwriter.”

***

On her third day home, Roxy woke up with a raging headache.

I should’ve listened to James… was her very first thought, muttering out a curse at her last-night self for not drinking the glass of water he had grabbed for her before he’d left to go home. Two and a half cups typically didn’t affect her, but it had been quite some time since her last show.

Through sleep-blurred eyes, she blindly reached out to her bedside table, flailing her hand around to try and find the glass, but her hand managed to catch a small paper note instead. Pulling it close to her face, Roxy had to squint to make out her boyfriend’s beautiful script as she ignored the pounding in her brain.

Hope you drank this - If not, you’re in for a fun day tomorrow.

Asked your dad to tape the afternoon episode of MacKenzie Falls so you wouldn’t miss it if you slept in btw. Not sure how he feels about you drinking, but he gave me the stink eye when I walked you in. Hope he doesn’t blame me.

Had a great time tonight, thanks for inviting me. Can’t wait til our next show.

XX Superstar

Though the note was sweet, she cringed at the silly nickname she’d given him before the show started. In her defense, she wasn’t thinking all that clearly, but someone who works with words for a living certainly should have been able to come up with something more eloquent than Superstar.

Oh, well she told herself, before throwing the covers off her body, not realizing the rapid motion would only aggravate her headache more, and greedily chugging down the tall glass beside the note. I’ll feel better after a shower.

And she did, mostly, after she adjusted to the bright white lights of her bathroom, though the ache in her head was slowly starting to carry down her arms and legs as the bruises from last night’s mosh pit began to fully form on her skin, blotting in dark clusters of greens, blues, and purples.

When Roxy caught the damage to her body in the large mirror, it should have worried her, but instead, she ran a few fingers over them, careful not to poke them any further, and smiled. The sign of a good show…

By the time she had dried her hair and picked out her warmest winter outfit to see if her dad wanted to go for a walk on his day off, her cell phone began to ring, buzzing about 20 times louder in her ears thanks to her headache.

It was a struggle to run from her bathroom all the way to her bedside table to turn off the smooth guitar solo of “One of Those Nights” by the Eagles, meaning Kendall was waiting for her to pick up the phone. It had been tough to pick out a song for his ringtone, considering how he had almost zero music taste outside of his own band, but during their guitar lessons, he’d asked her how quickly he’d be able to play the tune currently traveling through her speakers, so “One of Those Nights” it was.

Flopping back down onto her bed, Roxy pressed accept and brought the cell to her ear. “Hello?”

“Roxyyy!” Kendall called, and his assistant winced at the sheer volume of his excited tone. “Two questions: Guess who passed their driver's test? And did you bring your skates home with you?”

“Katie passed?” The girl deadpanned, letting his snort carry over the line before she responded, “And yes, I did. I figured I might get dragged back onto the ice at some point.”

“Well, I know you suck at skating. So, as a payment for all your guitar lessons, allow me to help show you how we hockey heads master the ice!”

“Dude! Not all of us were born with ice skates strapped to our feet!

Roxy focused on the insulting part of his statement and could almost hear the Knight smirk crawling across his lips as he continued, “Exactly! Which is why you and I are taking advantage of Duluth’s finest frozen lake this afternoon.”

While that did sound like loads of fun, Roxy still had more questions about his plan than answers. ��And what does this have to do with you getting your driver’s license again?”

“My mom’s taking our van downtown to hang out with some of her friends.”

“And?”

Kendall coughed. “And I was hoping… In celebration… That the world’s best songwriter-assistant would let me drive her ancient truck around town a bit before we hit the ice.”

“Why do the four of you think you can just drive my cars around whenever you want?”

“We can stop by the grocery store and I’ll buy you this month’s Pop Tiger.”

“Deal! See you in 20!”

By the time Roxy had followed Kendall's texted instructions for how to get to his place from the main road, it was nearly too late for her to realize her beaten-up truck was almost out of gas. So, when the blond opened the driver's side door and his assistant slid over the bench seating to the passenger side, she was more than happy to pass Dynamo off.

“Driving a car is a huge responsibility,” She told him jokingly, attempting to put on her most authoritative voice as her friend climbed behind the wheel, tossed his skates and two hockey sticks in the backseat, and adjusted the mirrors. “Taking care of the car is just as important as taking care of yourself. Making sure there’s wiper fluid, getting the oil changed every 3,000 miles, making sure there’s enough gas in the tank…” Rolling his eyes, Kendall was quick to combat her words with a “Yeah, yeah, Rox, I already know all that junk,” but she watched his eyes flicker down to the dashboard to check all the lights and gauges before putting the car into drive, narrowing. “You’re not getting anything but a magazine off me.”

“Isn’t it your mom who always preaches love and kindness and helping others whenever you can?” His assistant hummed against the stereo, observing the idyllic houses they passed by as they exited Kendall’s neighborhood.

“Roxy-”

Without thinking, she immediately cut him off to pretend as though she was reading a sensationalized news headline in one of her favorite magazines, “Kendall Knight, international pop star, refuses to help Big Time Rush’s number one fan after she grants him a massive favor!”

There were a few seconds without a response, Roxy’s tape still spinning in the background, before Kendall sighed, “You’ve got to stop hanging out with Katie.”

“Now you don’t want your sister to have a talented, confident role model to look up to?”

At the very least, that comment elicited a bit of laughter from her friend, who reluctantly turned the wheel to pull Dynamo into a gas station once they found themselves closer to town. “Talented? Undeniably. But confident…”

When she glanced over at him and noticed his raised brow once he’d parked in front of an open pump, she reached over the console and shoved him in the shoulder when she couldn’t hide her own grin, “I’m going to start charging you for guitar lessons, asshole.”

Dynamo’s ancient door screeched open. “Any chance I could get a friends and family discount?”

The last thing Kendall heard before closing the door was a very loud snort, “You wish.”

Thirty minutes, and what she suspected was likely Kendall’s form of payback, later, Roxy was regretting her jokingly harsh words as she stood stranded in the middle of the large frozen lake he had taken her to. “I’m sorry! Hear me? I’m so sorry! Lessons are free for life! And I won’t complain when you don’t practice between sessions! And I’ll stop making you play songs only I like!”

As the blond whizzed by her, going so fast and getting so dangerously close to where she stood she almost slipped off her skates, he just cackled before skating off in a new direction, looping around, and doing it again. He was running circles around her, even managing to spray some ice her way and add to the chill creeping into her bones purely from being outside in the Minnesota winter, but still looked completely in his element.

The only time she’d been to the ice rink with the boys had been after their exhausting battle with Mercedes Griffin to secure their spot as Rocque Records sole band after their demo tracks had been completed. Though it had been ages ago, and Roxy had spent most of her time attached to James while he helped her scoot around the rink, she remembered the high speeds at which her friends had sped around the arena as they played their own version of literal freeze tag. She could only imagine what they’d look like at a hockey game, weaving in and out between each other and their opponents, slapping the black rubber puck back and forth around the playing field.

While that sounded more like a nightmare to the writer, she could see the determination in Kendall’s narrowed eyes as he skated around, even if it was only to torture her, and the pure power it took to have even an iota of control over his direction, speed, and balance. Even without the pressure of a cheering audience, a stick in his hand, or the pounds of gear covering his body, she knew he was pushing himself to do his very best; The same look often appeared on his face during Big Time Rush’s dance practices.

To Roxy’s credit, she wasn’t completely stuck either. Kendall had been kind enough to give her some basic pointers when it came to skating on a natural surface, so she didn’t have to spend the whole time clinging to his arm, but at the rate he was zooming around, she was worried if she moved, she’d find herself right in the middle of his path and collide into a big bloody mess. So, she resigned herself to bundle into her red puffer jacket and wait until he finished having his fun.

Which he did after about a dozen more laps around his assistant.

“Come here!” He called out to her, finally coming to a stop by the edge of the ice. It was close to where the pair had trailblazed through the small section of wood from the parking lot, so he had dropped the hockey sticks and puck he’d brought in the snow bank.

Slowly but surely, Roxy managed to get herself over the rough, yet slippery surface without falling, and though she didn’t know a thing about playing ice hockey, she was happy for the small amount of stability the stick granted her once she took it from the blond.

The writer watched as Kendall scooped the puck up from the powder it rested on and flicked his wrist, throwing it out over the ice like a frisbee before he took off after it, with the same determined look he had before. In a flash, he’d caught up to it and slapped it across the lake with a tight snap! before glancing back over his shoulder to see where Roxy had gone.

“What’s the hold-up?”

Roxy blinked, still leaning on the stick in her grasp for support. “Uh… Am I supposed to be chasing it too?”

Throwing his arms up in exasperation, Kendall waved his stick above his head, “Obviously! This game isn’t fun with only one player.”

“It’s not much of a game when you’re leagues faster than me!” She protested, almost catching herself off balance when she tossed up the hand holding the stick.

“Well, how else are you gonna get better?”

Ugh, she grumbled before tentatively pushing off her back leg, how am I supposed to dispute that? “Who the hell died and made you coach?”

Not her best rebuttal, but one that left her feeling satisfied all the same once she finally reached his side.

In an instant, he took off after the puck again, and this time, she followed.

“Daniel Rogers, beginning of my sophomore year,” He quipped, though Roxy could barely hear him as the distance between them grew. “And not coach - captain!”

When he finally reached the puck across the way, he shot it back in Roxy’s direction, and she did her best to hit it right back. Unfortunately for her, however, she completely whiffed it, and while the puck sailed right past her, the sheer force she had attempted to put into her slapshot sent her tumbling to the ice. Had she not been so roughed up from the night before, it probably wouldn’t have hurt so much when she connected with the solid ground.

The shock to her system ran straight from her backside and through her spine; Roxy sucked in a sharp breath of air.

Seconds later he was by her side, hockey stick clattering to the ground as he hauled her off of the ice and back onto her feet like it was no big deal. “Jesus, Rox, take it easy!”

First, it’s “How else are you gonna get better?” Then it’s “Take it easy!” Familiar heat of embarrassment climbed up her body, and she hoped if Kendall noticed any splotches of red forming on her skin, he’d chalk it up to the frigidity of the weather. With a weak smile designed to mask her wince as she found her footing again, she joked, “Probably not a good idea to make me goalie, Captain.”

“Oh, I’d never dream of it, believe me,” He whistled, letting go of his grip around her arms once he was sure she’d be able to stand again. “Carlos Garcia is the best damn goalie this town has ever seen… There’s no one else I’d trust in front of the net. They don’t call him “Shutout Sensacional’ for nothing, you know.”

“They call him what?” Roxy giggled in response, half at the silly title and half at Kendall’s complete butchering of the Spanish term, though she certainly wanted to know more. “Do all of you get nicknames?”

Grinning, Kendall began to skate toward the puck again, and this time, his assistant eagerly followed after him. Still not as fast, but at least the distance between them was respectable this time.

“It doesn’t sound as cool when you put it like that,” He huffed, managing to shoot the puck back toward her, much slower this time so she actually had a chance at passing it back. “James is Pretty Boy for obvious reasons and Logan is ‘Tensie on account of how tense ‘e is and-”

When the blond cut himself off, Roxy assumed he was refraining from sharing his as she finally managed to rear her stick back and sent the puck flying his way, “Oh, yes! Did you see that?! I did it!” The smile lighting up Kendall’s face as he took off toward her poorly aimed pass made her light up equally as bright, “But that doesn’t mean you don’t tell me your nickname either, Captain!”

When he caught up to the puck, instead of shooting it her way, he kept it in his possession as he raced back toward her. His moves were similar to before, circling around her as quickly as he could, all while keeping the puck under the control of his stick.

“Surrounded!” Kendall said between breaths as he went around again and again.

Still coming down from her high of managing to get a pass in, Roxy chuckled at his actions, having half a mind to hold her stick out and catch him off guard if he wanted to keep annoying her. “I know I’m surrounded! Don’t wear yourself out there, Cap. I might be able to get the puck away from you after a few more circles…”

Kendall came to a dramatic stop, kicking up more flakes of ice with his skates as he turned his feet to angle the blades and threw up a peace sign with his free hand. “You misunderstand. Two words: Sir. Rounded.”

“Oh, a little knight pun. How adorable,” His assistant scrunched her nose up as she teased him. “Very clever use of your - two words - Sir. Name.”

Bringing his stick to hers with an annoying crack, Kendall signaled it was time to start up their game again by sticking out his tongue at her equally terrible pun. “Catch me if you can, Roxstar!”

As quickly as they could, Kendall and Roxy kicked off their back legs and staked off toward the puck, blades carrying them across the ice faster than ever before.

Maybe Kendall’s right… I am getting better at this.

It took forever for Dynamo’s archaic heater to kick in once the singer and his assistant climbed back into the truck’s cab, placing their skating and hockey equipment in the backseat before peeling out of the parking lot and heading back toward town.

“So, are we planning on picking up Shutout Sensacional, Pretty Boy, and ‘Tensie? We haven’t hung out together in a while,” Roxy asked, digging through the truck’s glove box to try and find a tape she wanted to play on their 20-minute journey. By “a while” she’d only meant a few days, but the five of them were so used to being around each other all the time, it was almost strange they hadn’t done something together in Duluth.

Drumming his fingers along the cracked wheel, Kendall sighed, “Would you believe me if I told you I was a bit worn out? I’ve lost my stamina…”

“Boo hoo.” Popping a cassette into the player, Roxy turned the volume dial a few notches to the right. “It’s been a while since you’ve been on the ice, man, cut yourself some slack.”

“Oh, that reminds me! One of the guys on the MAHS team, Hawkins, is throwing a New Year’s get-together on Thursday. Think you’d wanna come?”

Taking in the gorgeous sight of the snow-covered pine trees on the side of the highway, Roxy tilted her head, “A normal get-together or a Big Time Rush get-together?”

“Definitely a Big Time Rush get-together; His parents are out of town,” He replied, which was just codeword for “party!”

Slowly, the writer nodded. “If he doesn’t mind the four of you taking a plus one, I’d be happy to come.”

He kept his eyes on the road, but Roxy could just imagine the sparkle mixed in with the foresty green of his irises at her answer. “Sick! All the guys are going to be so stoked to meet you.”

At that notion, Roxy felt her stomach flutter. James had learned plenty about her last night, voluntarily and involuntarily, and now it was her turn to get to know more about him through his friends at Mountain Aire. “It’ll be nice to meet some of the people I was supposed to go to high school with,” she mused. “I didn’t really get to know anyone during my first few weeks there.”

“Everyone on the team is super chill for a bunch of guys that play a pretty violent sport. They’ll be sure to tell you all the embarrassing stories about the four of us they can.”

“Thank God. You boys all tell the same stories over and over again. I’ll be glad to get some new ones to make fun of you for…”

Kendall scoffed before reaching out and poking her in the arm, “If you dish it, you better be prepared to take it!”

In response, Roxy blew a raspberry. “You have to be nice to me or I’ll stop writing your songs!”

“Oh, whatever!” The blond huffed over the soft music. “You’d never do that.”

“Yeah… You’re right. Never, ever,” She giggled back, realizing she may have threatened that one too many times now for it to hold any weight.

By the time the pair made it back into town, the sun was beginning to dip below the horizon, painting the road ahead in a soft golden glow. It was hard to imagine they’d been out for most of the day, but the aches beginning to set into Roxy’s legs certainly reminded her of the time they’d spent on the ice. While fun, skating was cruelly physically demanding.

No wonder they can dance around on stage for hours and make it look easy… Roxy got winded just thinking about it.

After a quick stop at the Sherwood to pick up her promised magazine, and an unpleasant encounter with Kendall’s old boss who practically begged him to take the night shift, the pair pulled up to the Knight’s abode. Grabbing the stuff from the back seat, the frontman reluctantly slid out of the driver’s seat and out onto the street while his assistant took her rightful place behind the wheel.

While waiting for him to enter his house before driving off, Kendall was cut off on the small section of cleared sidewalk by his little sister, dashing in the direction of Roxy’s car.

“Roxy, Roxy, Roxy! I need you to take me somewhere!” Small cross-body purse slung across one shoulder, Katie Knight tore down the path and into Dynamo’s passenger seat so swiftly it made the writer’s head spin.

Are all of the Knights that fast?

When Roxy didn’t respond quickly enough, Katie poked her in the arm, “Please? Please?”

Whatever it was, it must have been urgent. Katie usually avoided begging whenever possible, often choosing more surefire ways of getting what she wanted, like blackmail.

When she looked beyond the young girl, to Kendall through the window for some sort of answer, he just shrugged, then trudged back into the house before closing the front door.

“Uh, does your mom know you’re going out? It’s kinda late, Katie,” Roxy cautiously asked. She had no issue taking the young Knight anywhere she wanted to go, but Mrs. Knight was quite strict when it came to her kids and their curfews. Hell, Mrs. Knight thought Katie still needed a babysitter; There was no way she would cool with her daughter taking off at this time of day.

Katie and her brother rolled their eyes in the exact same annoying way, “Mom’s still out with her friends. She won’t get mad at you and she won’t get mad at me… Unless I get caught.”

Gripping the steering wheel, Roxy narrowed her eyes.

“And I’ll buy you the new edition of Pop Tiger!”

“Oh,” The writer loudly sucked in a breath to bug the girl sitting beside her. “Your brother beat you to it. It’s a good edition too - Joe Jonas mini-mag inside and everything, so don’t tell James! He’ll try and steal it from me.”

“Please?” Katie tried again, and the older girl made the mistake of glancing her way.

She knew better than to fall victim to the girl’s puppy dog eyes, but as Katie stared her down and puffed out an equally sad pout, Roxy felt utterly horrible for protesting. Big brown teary eyes and a quivering bottom lip really got to her, and Katie was certainly using that to her advantage; Even reaching out to the stereo’s controls and switching the music from one of the cassettes to a classical music channel that just happened to be playing a sad symphony.

That was the one thing that didn’t fly with Roxy, “Fine! Just leave my radio alone!”

Next to her, Katie hissed out a “Yes!” while eagerly clipping her seatbelt in, beaming, as the writer switched the settings back to how she liked them.

“Where to then?” Asked the driver, feeling a bit like a chauffeur, placing the car into drive.

Picking up her purse, Katie shook it, making what sounded like a large collection of coins inside clank together. “The arcade!”

***

Tucked away on an old, pothole-ridden side street in Downtown Duluth, the retro Lunarcade had been in operation for as long as the writer could remember. While she’d only been a handful of times with her father, and once at the end of the last year for a birthday party Dani had thrown, it always looked and sounded exactly the same.

Rows upon rows of aged video games filled the small hole-in-the-wall, flashing bright colors and releasing attention-grabbing sounds to try and draw in anyone who walked by. Newer games toward the front, older games toward the back, and a row of pinball machines right down the middle.

“This place hasn’t changed a bit,” Roxy thought out loud, finding it difficult to hear the thoughts in her head against the chatter of patrons, the pop station playing on the speakers overhead, and the sounds from the machines. Examining the space to try and remember where her favorite games were, she narrowly missed Katie darting off between the rows as if she were a bat out of hell.

The writer was a bit taken aback, I’m not that unpleasant to be around… Am I? before resigning to the fact that when she was Katie’s age, she also never wanted to be around her father whenever they went places together. Being right on the cusp of her teenage years while not quite able to be independent quite yet was probably hard enough for the young girl, so Roxy let it go, digging around in her mini backpack to try and find her wallet.

Of the few bills she had, she headed to the counter to break them and was greeted by a nice, young woman who happily gave her a small plastic cup full of quarters in exchange.

Soon enough, the writer was lost in a world of pixelated graphics, joysticks, and button mashing as she roamed up and down the aisles, stopping at whatever machines caught her eye. The narrow pathways were almost impossible to traverse, especially when multiple people crowded around a machine, but she managed well enough, expecting to bump into Kaite at some point.

While not much of a game player herself, she still had some fun, especially on a handful of the older machines she and her dad used to play when she was younger. She had even passed a few she remembered playing with Mag and Dani, stopping at her favorite, Space Invaders. Last time she was here, she’d set the high score and had been met with an eruption of celebration from her friends but now, as she popped her quarters into the coin slot, all she received was the game’s soundtrack.

Thirty seconds later, her character was dead, and she let out a displeased grumble. Not only was she out of practice, but when the score screen flashed by, she noticed ROX was nowhere to be found in the top ten.

Another handful of quarters and she performed better this time around, but still nowhere good enough to put her name up on the board with her Space Invaders-loving peers.

So there she stayed, until her quarter well ran dry, and she nearly kicked the leg of the machine out of frustration.

Maybe it’s time to back off… She cautioned herself, resigning to pull away from the restored rectangular machine and weave through the aisles to the snack counter for a consolation prize. Some M&M’s or a Peppy Cola should cheer me up…

As she rounded the corner, she accidentally bumped into a kid holding two canned sodas and managed to save one she knocked out of his hand from falling to the ground.

“Oh! I’m so sorry!” She told him, making sure he was balanced again before handing the cold can back over. “Are you alright?”

In response, the boy just smiled, running a hand through his dirty blond hair before taking the can back. “Yeah, all good. How about you, Miss?”

“All good,” Roxy parroted, waving one hand to show it was no big deal. “The pop should be alright, but if it explodes when you open it, come and find me. I’ll get you something else.”

As he opened his mouth to respond, someone cut him off. “Ray? What’s the hold-up?”

From one of the rows leading to the snack bar, a familiar voice called out to the boy Roxy presumed she was talking to. When she looked up from the boy in front of her, she and Katie locked eyes, and the young girl turned as white as a ghost - Save for the red forming on her already rosy cheeks.

No way…

Ray looked over his shoulder, a wicked grin forming on his face, “Hey! Sorry. I just bumped into this lady here. If you shake up the can before you open it, she said she’ll buy you a second one.”

“That’s not-”

Before Roxy could get another word out, Katie grabbed his arm and pulled him back into the many, many rows of the arcade, presumably hoping to get lost among the flashing lights and sounds again.

Forgetting her own quest for a snack, Roxy’s hand immediately flew to her back pocket, whipping out her phone and pressing the first number on her speed dial.

When the dial tone connected, she didn’t even wait for a greeting before she exploded over the receiver, “James, you are never going to believe what’s happening to me right now!”

His garbled, “What?” came through the speaker. “Is everything alright?”

“I think I just took Katie out on her first date!”

The car ride home was eerily silent, with neither Katie nor Roxy saying anything at all. No one even bothered to turn the radio on.

While she turned off the side street and back onto the main road, Roxy glanced over to Katie and tried to hide the obnoxious smile that had practically been plastered on her face since her realization Katie might have been on a date. There was nothing on Earth she wanted to talk about more at this moment; How they’d met, who asked who out, what she liked about him… On the other hand, it was clear Katie wanted to talk about anything else, based on the way she gripped her seatbelt until her knuckles were white and stared out the window.

It was oddly reminiscent of the conversation she and her father had while on their road trip, except now the roles were reversed. Roxy made a mental note to apologize to her dad again later.

After a few more minutes of speechless agony, Roxy decided to break the silence. “I’m not going to ask you about it if you don’t want to talk about it…”

No response from Katie, just another thousand-yard stare out the window.

“...But I promise if you do, I won't tell your brother anything. That’s kind of a central tenet of girl code.”

The mention of Kendall seemed to make the girl tense up again, so Roxy decided to drop the subject entirely. If her words were going to do more harm than good, the least she could do was shut up for the remainder of the ride.

With a soft clearing of her throat, Roxy switched the stereo on as she navigated back to the Knight’s residence. “What Goes Around…/…Comes Around (Interlude)” by Justin Timberlake surrounded them and the writer eagerly hummed along.

Not even halfway through the song, her passenger reached out and switched it off - which still annoyed the shit out of Roxy - before letting out a large sigh.

“How did you know you liked James?”

The driver blinked, the question catching her off guard, and she glanced over to see Katie looking back at her with wide eyes. She’d never been this vulnerable with her before, normally all of Katie’s questions were about the entertainment industry or asking if Roxy wanted a new manager in six years.

As she thought back to the beginnings of her relationship, a bit of heat licked up her spine. Was it embarrassing? Sure, but Katie had asked in such earnest, that it would be wrong of her not to share.

“Well…” Roxy began, struggling to put her feelings into words. “I realized I liked him when we flew back out to Los Angeles together. He was so determined to make his dream a reality, which was inspiring in itself, but he was also very adamant that I was along for the ride with him.”

From the corner of her eye, she noticed Katie nodding, but the young girl didn’t say anything, so she continued on.

“He took care of me on the flight over, he comforted me the first night in our apartment, he stood up for me at Hawk Records… And when we reunited with the other guys at Rocque Records he was just so happy. When I saw his smiling face it just… clicked. But, honestly, I think it took me quite some time to figure that out. Maybe… I’d liked him since the night of the dance, but I was too stubborn to let myself realize it.”

More nods, but at least Katie had uncrossed her arms.

“And, he’s not too bad on the eyes…” Roxy joked, reaching over to elbow her friend when she finally snorted out a laugh. “Whenever we’re in a room together it’s like we gravitate toward each other. And, God, Katie, he makes me laugh all the time, and my heart beat at a million miles an hour, and when we kiss-”

“Alright! Enough! Enough!” Katie cried as her hands flew to cover her ears, sticking her tongue out in disgust followed by an overexaggerated “Blegh!”

Her reaction made the writer crack up so hard that she nearly missed the turn into the neighborhood, whipping Dynamo around the corner far faster than he was built for.

“You asked!” She protested, just to bug Katie again. “But in all seriousness… It’s hard to describe - I just know that I do. I can’t imagine my life without him. I don’t want to imagine my life without him.”

That statement was followed by more silence, and Roxy feared she may have gone a bit too far with her answer, until Katie shifted around in her seat, playing with the zipper on her purse. “I don’t think I like Ray like that.”

“And that’s perfectly fine! That’s what dates are for, to give you time to figure it out.”

“If he asks me out again, what do I say?” This question was asked in a far less confident manner.

Just as they pulled up to the Knight’s, Roxy put the car into park and turned to face the girl, “You tell him the truth. That you had fun today, but you’re just not interested in him like that. If he cares about you, he’ll understand.”

“And if he doesn’t?”

Roxy’s heart sank at the thought, but she played it off as best she could with a smile, “Then you call me or your brother and we’ll wrangle the other three up. That goes for anyone who doesn’t give you the respect you deserve, okay?”

“Okay!” Katie agreed, finally seeming as though she was getting back to being her normal self. When she nudged the door open, she stepped out and turned back to Roxy, “...Thanks,” and shut it before the driver got a chance to respond.

“No problem,” Roxy chuckled to herself as she waited for Katie to get in the front door. Her drive home was also absent of music, but only because she was too busy thinking about James and all the reasons she loved being with him to notice.

***

When she got home, her dad had dinner on the table and the two shared a lovely meal as they recapped their days. By the time they’d finished, Declan migrated to the living room and flipped on a TV movie to watch before promptly falling asleep fifteen minutes in like he usually did. The only thing he ever managed to stay awake for these days was football.

Taking a spare blanket from their linen closet, Roxy draped it over him before turning the appliance and lights off before heading to her room for the remainder of the night.

Once she finished cleaning up and changing into the PJs the boys had bought her, she noticed a collection of text messages on her phone’s home screen from Jo and Camille.

J: Free soon? Miss you both and want to talk

C: yes! give me five to get away from this hectic house and I’ll set up a conference

J: Yesss!

J: Roxy? Yoo hoo?

C: probably too busy macking on her boyfriend…

R: HEY!

R: AM NOT!

R: EVEN IF I’D REALLY LIKE TO BE!

J: BWAHAHAH

R: But yes! I’m free! Call!!!!

A minute later Camille’s ringtone, Beyoncé’s “Crazy In Love,” came through her phone’s speakers and the pair exchanged an excited greeting. They only paused their chatter for a moment while the actress added Jo to the line and waited for her to pick up, only for their greetings to repeat.

All three of them were buzzing with information to share about their respective trips; So many things had happened over the last few days that were just too difficult to convey over a text message.

Jo and Camille elected Roxy to go first, mostly because they wanted to hear about Kendall and Logan. While Roxy hadn’t heard much from her studious friend since he’d landed back home, she was happy to share about their chaotic Christmas saga, her date with James, her skate session with Kendall, and most importantly, Katie’s date.

“...So yeah, we might have to give her the dating talk when we all get back to Hollywood. Only if she brings it up again! It seemed like it was hard for her to talk about,” Roxy concluded, as she cradled her phone between her cheek and shoulder, filing her nails. She was long overdue for a manicure. “Which color should I go with? Blue or yellow?”

“Blue!” Jo answered at the same time Camille responded, “Yellow!”

The three erupted in a fit of giggles.

“We’ll keep a lookout for guys her age at our auditions, won’t we Jo?” The ravenette asked.

“Duh! I’m pretty sure there’s a guy on the fifth floor she plays video games with, too. Kendall was pretty suspicious but I managed to convince him otherwise… As Roxy began to apply the first coat of paint, alternating colors on each finger, Camille went next. Her holiday had been chaotic as well, but purely because of the sheer amount of people her family had decided to house in New Windsor, Connecticut. On top of Camille, her parents, and five brothers, they had three additional guests in the five-bedroom home which made it virtually impossible for anyone to get any peace and quiet.

“Things are dying down, so it’s not all that bad. Gabriel and his husband are leaving tomorrow, so we’ll be down two. My mom almost had a fit though - crying about how she never gets to see them.”

Camille’s oldest brother and his husband lived in upstate New York, both plastic surgeons with busy, busy schedules. She had said it was a miracle they’d even been able to get a few days off to come down and visit.

“Elliott, Claude, and their roommates Roshan and Asa are staying until January like me. Even that was a lot for her to take in. She’s acting like we’ve already left! I have no idea what she does while we’re all gone but I know it drives Jules and Jean-Luc crazy.”

Elliott and Claude, twins, and their roommates had come home from college to spend the break together. Jules, only a year older than Camille, was finishing up his last year of high school before joining his brothers at Northeastern University. Jean-Luc was in the transitional stage between graduating and trying to find his first career-oriented job, so he was often around the most to see to Camille’s mother while she and her father were away in Hollywood.

It was hard to process all of this while Camille was talking. Each time she threw out a new name, Roxy had to go through her mental list and recall everything she had shared about them over the course of their friendship. While it was rare she talked about her family, what she did share was chock-full of information about each and every member.

“And you’ll never believe this…” Camille continued in a hush, as Jo and Roxy both let out a teasing, “Ooh!”

The writer could imagine the blush forming on her friend’s porcelain cheeks; Judging by her tone, this was a voice she only brought out when talking about Logan, so maybe something had developed on that front after their abrupt break up in October.

“Roshan asked if I wanted to go to a New Year’s party with him and I think I might say yes. I’ve been waiting for Logan to forgive me for so long… I don’t know-”

On the other line, Jo squealed, “Camille! If you want to go, just go! It’s only a party. With college guys!”

Roxy was still frozen mid-stroke, undoubtedly overloading her ring finger with far too much of the electric blue polish she had found in her bathroom. Oh, God. What’s Logan going to think…

“Yeah!” She chimed in, trying to sound as excited as Jo. “Sounds super low-stakes and you can get to know him better.”

Maybe some part of her was hoping she and Logan would get back together, but Camille was right, it wasn’t up to her at all. Logan was still working through what had happened between them, which was perfectly understandable, but she also knew how Camille was bouncing from one thing to the next. Being stationary for too long made her anxious, hence her penchant for jumping from different types of creative projects to another. If she was tired of waiting for him to make his decision, of course she was thinking of moving on.

“Like I said, I don’t know… It feels a bit quick, but I still have a bit to decide. I’ll keep you both updated, though… And that’s all for my turn, you next, Jo!”

Camille, spotlight lover, wasn’t always quick to turn the conversation away from herself, which told Roxy she was still a bit anxious about her decision, even if she was only in the beginning stages of making it.

By the silence on the other line, she could tell Jo sensed it too, but soon enough, she began to report on her time in North Carolina.

Like she had predicted, being back home was a mess. Between seeing her estranged mother and sister, which she was dreading, it was even worse because they’d brought along her mother’s new boyfriend. “Who brings a guy you just met to a family holiday?!” But, she was more than ecstatic to see her grandmother and said they’d spent the majority of their time together. Not only had she learned a new cookie recipe she was dying to make for her friends, but she and her grandma were learning to knit together.

“It’s a bit old lady for me, but I’m making a beanie for Kendall… I hope he likes it.”

“Of course he will, he practically lives in them!” Roxy cut in, finally moving onto her second coat after saving what she could of her ring finger. “Especially if you hand make it… Are you kidding me? So romantic!”

Hearing Camille’s laugh after nothing from her line the last few minutes was comforting. “He’s at the ice rink, like, all the time, right? That’s a perfect gift!”

“Ugh, I hope so. I’ve been so stressed making it, I just want it to be perfect. All this time away from him is making me realize how much he means to me…” There was a long, noticeable pause on her end, but neither girl cut in. “I think I love him.”

Camille and Roxy screamed. So loud, it wouldn’t have shocked any of them if the sound waves had traveled all the way to Marion, North Carolina from Duluth and New Haven without the use of a telephone.

Heart pounding at her friend’s confession, Roxy’s chest felt like a balloon had swelled inside. “Love?!” She cried. “My best friend is in love?!”

“She’s in love!” Camille confirmed, “Lovely, lovely, love!”

It sounded like Jo was about to add something on, when the sound of Roxy’s bedroom door flying open interrupted, and her half-asleep father stood in the doorway, blanket halfway on the ground, with a baseball bat. “Wha-?”

Of course, he hadn’t meant to scare her, but he most certainly did, and the bottle of pale yellow polish dropped from her hand and all over her floral-covered duvet.

“Dad!” She yelled, heart now pounding from excitement and fear, but she couldn’t care less about the mess she’d made. “Jo’s in love! She loves Kendall!”

“I think!” The blonde added on, but it was mostly drowned out by Camille’s never-ending hoots and hollers.

“Oh,” was all her dad managed, setting the bat down in the hallway once he determined his daughter was okay and tugging the blanket back over his shoulders. Declan raked a hand through his long hair. “Alright then, congratulations, darling.”

For a moment, he stood there and rubbed his eyes, before reaching out and blowing Roxy a kiss, closing her door again. Jo let out an intelligible sound from her end of the line and Roxy promised, “He’s the only person I’ll tell! I swear!”

“And you!” Called Camille, and all three of them knew she was speaking directly to Jo. “You better tell him when you give him the beanie!”

“No promises!” Jo bit back, and Roxy imagined the grin taking up her beautiful features. “But… That does seem like the best time to tell him.”

***

Hardly able to sleep after learning such valuable information from her best friends, Roxy was tossing and turning all night thinking about Jo’s confession. How lucky she was to be experiencing such a euphoric feeling, one she could not only put into words but felt as though she needed to share with her partner.

One day, I’ll feel like that too. Just the thought of it made her giddy.

It was a bit of a shock when her phone rang early in the morning again, the opening chords to “The Scientist” by Coldplay this time, signaling something was up with Logan.

When she answered, her voice was a bit groggy from sleep, but she did her best to put on a cheery tone.

Turns out, Logan wanted to go shopping, citing a major sale at the Duluth mall, but he didn’t want to go alone. “I’ll drive and everything, my mother is off work and said we can take her car if you’d like.”

Sale at the mall? Roxy didn’t need to be asked twice before she hopped out of bed and pulled something on, meeting her friend outside about fifteen minutes later.

Logan’s mother’s car was a far nicer ride than Dynamo was, which was to be said about most vehicles, but for her first time in a BMW, she was thoroughly enjoying it. No blown-out speakers, peeling leather seats, cracked windshields, or broken gauges, just pure luxury in the passenger seat as Logan flew down the open road.

He was a much more reserved driver in Los Angeles, probably due to the sheer amount of other crazy drivers in the area, but back home, he was quite the speed demon. Maybe it was the rap station on the radio inspiring him or maybe he was more comfortable with the city’s roads, but they’d made it to the mall far quicker than she ever would have.

Gotta love an after-holiday sale… She thought as he pulled her through the parking lot and into the first department store that caught his eye.

The shopping trip had honestly lasted a lot longer than she’d expected; She felt a bit bad they hadn’t invited James along with them either. Apparently, Logan had accumulated quite the chunk of Christmas cash from his relatives and had decided to revamp his wardrobe.

And by “revamp” he mostly meant refresh - The sweaters and cardigans he already owned were getting rotated out for fresh new ones in the same neutral tones he loved. How he could wear these during the Los Angeles summer, she never understood, but that was what he preferred, so no one questioned him differently. However, she was able to convince him to let her pick an outfit out for him, something out of his ordinary closet with more of a “cool” vibe.

Black leather jacket, a nice pair of shades, some tight jeans…

As they passed by rack after rack, sometimes Roxy would stop and pick something up as well, but her clothing choices were more appropriate for the California heat. James’ words from the other night stuck with her, so he was mostly making sure her items appropriately showed off her legs in a way that still made her feel confident and beautiful, while also potentially riling him up a bit.

They even had what felt like a silly teen movie montage, trying on all of their outfits one by one in the dressing room and coming out to show the other to get opinions or change pieces out for ones that fit them better.

By the time they’d covered almost the entire mall front to back, each of them was sufficiently shopped out and stopped by the food court for a little snack - What was a trip to the mall without some pretzels? - before hopping back in the BMW and heading back to their corner of town.

“My moms are dying to see you again,” He confessed to her, never taking his eyes off the road, over the Dr. Dre track playing in the background. “Humor them and come over for dinner?”

Roxy wasn’t aware she had made such an impact on them back at their Duluth Big Time Rush show, considering she’d been a bit too preoccupied with James on her mind to really feel as though she was present in the moment. Both Sabina and Joanna mostly kept to themselves, but if she recalled they had a brief conversation about how well Logan was doing in Hollywood. They cared for him so much, and it was evident to the girl after one conversation with them, so there wasn’t any point in not stopping by to see them again.

“Yeah, sure! That sounds wonderful,” She told him, watching as they passed the road into her neighborhood and down a few blocks to his.

Logan beamed, tapping the steering wheel to the beat of the song, “Mom’s at work showing a house right now, but Mother has the afternoon off, which is rare. It feels like the hospital always needs her…”

The last time she’d been in Duluth, she’d brought up how strange it was for all five of them to live so close to each other, but never have met until their audition to James, and as they turned into Logan’s street, that statement felt even more true than before. He was probably a ten-minute walk from her, but state boundary lines had zoned her for a different high school.

My life would certainly be much different had I met them earlier, Roxy concluded, though she wasn’t quite sure how. Maybe they’ve saved me from my terrible band and we would’ve started our own sooner…

She didn’t have much more time to consider it, because when they pulled up to Logan’s house, Roxy’s jaw visibly dropped.

Mansion was a more accurate description of the sprawling two-story abode they pulled into the driveway of, opening one of two garages for Logan to park the BMW in. It was nearly impossible for her to get a good look at the entire home; the bright white paneling from ground to roof was so clean it was blinding and stood out gorgeously against the black and tan wood accents around the doors and windows. Of the other mansion she’d been to in her life, she’d already preferred this one’s modern style of architecture to the Spanish style of Gustavo’s.

Of course, to Logan, this was a sight he’d seen millions of times, so when he popped open the car door and motioned toward the door that would lead them inside, he forgot to let Roxy take a moment to process.

“Wow,” She breathed, finally managing to join him in the spacious garage, then the laundry room attached, and finally into the open kitchen space. “It must’ve sucked to move into the Palm Woods…”

The way her voice echoed off the high ceilings startled her, as she turned in place to take the impressive space in.

“What do you mean?” He asked her, cocking his head while he opened the fridge to grab two cans of soda. “I get to live with my best friends… What more could I ever want?”

Ugh, he’s so sweet, Roxy thought, following her friend into the living room and down a large hallway, before he stopped at a closed door and knocked a few times. Maybe your own room, or a gigantic kitchen, or a sweet ride-

“Come in!” came a cheery voice from inside, and the boy managed to press down on the handle despite both of his hands being full.

When the pair stepped in, bookshelf after bookshelf surrounded them, completely covering the space from floor to ceiling - save the section towards the outside of the house and its massive bay window.

What Roxy would give to curl up in James’ lap and read a book in the warm, shining sun…

“Hey, I’m home!” He called out among the shelves, peering down each long column they passed, “Brought a friend.”

“Hi!” Roxy tentatively called out as well, thinking it might be rude if she didn’t announce her presence right then and there.

There was the sound of shuffling feet, and a few rows down, Sabina popped her head around one of the shelves, blazing blue eyes sparking the minute she laid eyes on her son. “Logie-Bear! You brought Roxanne!”

“Don’t act like you’re more excited to see her than me…” He trailed off, speeding over to trap her in a hug. The way he buried his head in the crook of his mother’s neck was likely to hide his embarrassment from the silly nickname.

It was a bit of an awkward embrace, considering his full hands, and the giant medical textbook Sabina was attempting to keep her place in, but they made it work in their own strange way.

“Thanks for having me,” The writer blurted out. It had been a long, long time since she’d been invited over to someone’s house. “You have such a lovely home.”

“That’s what a life of hard work and dedication will get ya!” Sabina winked, taking her arm from around Logan’s shoulders and pulling Roxy into a hug as well. “Both of you are right on track for that, huh?”

Is she talking about being in a band? Or Logan being a doctor?

Both kids nodded, watching as the woman tucked an old Polaroid photo of her, her wife, and Logan on her page then set her book back onto the nearest shelf, making sure the volume she was reading was in the correct numeral spot. The dark tan binding blended almost perfectly with her tan skin. “How does butter chicken sound for dinner? Your mom told me she was craving it earlier.”

As a guest, Roxy had no say in whatever was being made, she was simply along for the ride. Logan’s eyes widened in response, and his nodding from before grew more invigorated; A good sign if Roxy’d ever seen one.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” She offered, now following Sabina and Logan from the library back to the kitchen, knowing her culinary skills weren’t as impressive as they could be.

Almost drowned out by the sound of her heels clicking on the tile floors, Sabina smiled over her shoulder, “Aren’t you just a doll for asking?! How about you and Logie go fetch some vegetables from the garden? I just know the two of you will make a wonderful salad…”

The garden? One almost completely covered in snow?

Logan must’ve seen the confusion written all over his friend’s face, so he wordlessly set the sodas he had grabbed down on the kitchen counter and looped his arm through Roxy’s, leading her away from the kitchen and through another long hallway. When they came upon two large glass doors, showing a breathtaking winter landscape in the backyard, she dug her heels into the ground.

“You’re crazy if you think I’m going out there without my big coat! I’m all Los Angeles acclimatized now!”

“Roxy, I promise you can handle, like, thirty seconds in the cold.”

He didn’t wait for her reply, simply opening the door and tugging her through, and leading down a nicely shoveled cobblestone path to the side of the white home. All the while, she huddled into him, trying to steal as much of his body heat as physically possible - Though she almost missed the immaculately manicured bushes and pine trees covered in a light dusting of last night’s snow.

Out over the large expanse of yard he showed her through, she noticed a small, frozen river running along what she assumed was the back line of the property that separated off into a large section of woods. No fence surrounding everything suggested they weren’t too worried about animals coming through and stealing their food. As they rounded the corner, she noticed some neglected-looking patio furniture, probably all soaking wet and frozen cushions, and some flower pots, completely empty.

If the flower pots are empty-

“Here we are!” Logan announced, and Roxy turned from where she was looking to take note of a medium-sized structure, constructed floor to ceiling with transparent, fogged glass panes. A door in the center opened as he pushed in on it, and soon enough the pair were out of the winter weather and back into something that felt a lot more like Hollywood than she’d ever expected in the Midwest.

In front of them, four carefully constructed rows of soil were dug in the ground, running straight back from where they stood. Various gardening supplies, and the overwhelming smell of manure, surrounded Roxy and Logan as they searched the personal greenhouse for the necessary ingredients.

“I think lettuce is over there…” Logan vaguely pointed off to the right, and Roxy followed his directions and took the farthest row to search, more than happy to spend as much time in the cozy, warm space as possible. “And tomatoes and cucumbers should be over here…” Taking off in the opposite direction.

None of the plants were labeled, and she certainly didn’t have any gardening experience, so she gently lifted large leaves to see if they were bearing any other vegetables she thought might go well in a salad, before realizing she had no idea what lettuce looked like if it wasn’t sitting on the shelf in a grocery store.

Thankfully, however, she happened upon a green, leafy plant she was 90% sure was a head of lettuce and squatted down to attempt to harvest it. Just as she reached out, she heard a soft mrow, and a jet-black cat with the biggest green eyes she’d ever seen sauntered through the vegetation and rubbed up against her outstretched hand.

Like the greenhouse, the cat was warm against her skin, eagerly awaiting for her to continue petting its soft fur as if it were trying to capture all of her attention.

“Uh, Logan?” She hesitantly called, but it seemed as though he was already making his way over to her with the tomato and cucumber he had been looking for.

“Hm?” He mumbled, preoccupied with the food in his hands before the cat let out another mrow. “Hippocrates?”

From where she squatted on the floor, still petting the gorgeous cat, she looked up and cocked an eyebrow at him.

“What? He’s the father of medicine!”

Roxy just let out a chuckle in response, deciding to sit down on the least dusty part of the cobblestone path lining and coax Hippocrates over with a “Psst, psst, psst!”

Soon enough, the salad ingredients were all but forgotten when the animal settled down between her crossed legs, batting up at the fingers she dangled over him. “You never mentioned you had a cat! And such a cutie-patootie one at that!”

The boy just rolled his eyes at her baby talk as they continued to play together.

“Such a pretty kitty! Pretty kitty!” Roxy continued, now tickling his soft belly as he continued to play with her other hand. “With your fur so black it’s almost blue? You remind me of-”

Immediately she snapped her mouth shut, eyes widening, before she managed to say Camille’s name. It was not smooth in the slightest, and she noticed the way Logan temporarily froze while he was working on getting the head of lettuce off the underground stalk.

Before she got the chance to apologize, the boy cleared his throat and got back to work, speaking in a hushed tone, “You can say ‘Camille.’ It’s not like some magic spell that’ll ward me off or something.”

“Ah… Then you’re far better than me. I still cringe whenever I hear Dak’s name,” Roxy responded, after giving Hippocrates some more tummy tickles to combat the turning of her stomach. “Even saying it just then made me feel nauseous.”

“So, you’re telling me it won’t get better? At all? Rox, it’s been months since you and Dak broke up.”

“If you can even call what we had a relationship…” The writer chuckled.

Is it me or is the greenhouse getting hotter?

Shifting uncomfortably, she hoped that would be the end of the conversation as Logan continued hacking away at the lettuce with the small tool he held in his hand.

“She and I weren’t together much longer. Well, not officially.”

“You two always did have that infuriating ‘will-they, won’t they’ thing going on.”

“Oh, you’re one to talk!” He jokingly spit back, before removing the leafy greens and moving to sit beside her, reaching over to give Hippocrates a few scratches on the head. “Whatever you and James were doing was so much worse.”

Doing her best not to disturb the cat in her lap, Roxy shoved her shoulder into Logan’s with a shy smile. “That’s not the point of this conversation. If you’re asking me how I got over being cheated on, just go ahead and ask.”

“Doesn’t sound like you’re over it to me…” Logan said, shoving his shoulder back into hers and startling Hippocrates to his feet. In a flash, he took off between the leaves again, off to find another warm corner of the greenhouse to curl up in.

Roxy let out an offended gasp, “Of course I am! I wrote a song about it, made a lot of money, got to perform it at every show, and I have a super ultra-hot boyfriend who is way better than Dak ever would’ve been to me. I’m totally all well-adjusted about it and stuff.”

Their laughter roared through the space, bouncing off the glass walls until they were leaning on each other for support, gasping for air at Roxy’s ridiculously shallow statement. Two of the tomatoes Logan had been gathering up to take back inside rolled off his lap and off under one of the tables holding the innumerable gardening supplies, and Roxy had to use her quick reflexes to save the cucumber from the same fate.

As he helped her off the ground, and they gathered up everything they had taken from the garden, Roxy stopped him before they ran through the freezing backyard and back into the house.

“I’m not an expert or anything, but I think you just need to give it time. It might be something you think about a lot - and I mean a lot - right now, but in a few months, eventually you’ll start to think about it less and less, until eventually, you don’t think about it at all. The pain may seem permanent now, but I promise it isn’t everlasting.”

Logan bumped his shoulder into hers again with a small smile. “Thanks, Rox… And you’re right, I have been thinking about it a lot and…”

His tone matched that of Camilles on their phone call last night; She knew exactly what he was about to say, and her heart dropped to her stomach. “It might be time for me to branch out, you know? Expand my horizons a little bit. Do you think it’s too soon for me to think about maybe seeing someone else?”

Rolling the cucumber between both of her hands, Roxy tried poorly to hide her audible gulp. “No, of course not. If you think that’s what you need to do… that’s what you need to do.”

“It’s just a thought!” He followed up, quickly enough for her to think he didn’t really mean what he was saying. Maybe something was still keeping him tied to Camille despite everything that had happened between them. “I don’t really know many other girls at the Palm Woods… It’s always been Camille.”

“Any girl at the Palm Woods, or elsewhere, would be lucky to have you, Logan,” His assistant shared, in earnest. “And I’m here for you, no matter what you decide.”

When they reached the door, that conversation came to its natural conclusion, and the pair braced themselves for the harsh winter conditions awaiting them outside.

“Alright, ready?” Logan asked, slowly reaching toward the door to pull it open. At Roxy’s nod, he began to count down, “3… 2… 1… Go!”

The both of them took off toward the house, struggling to keep hold of all their vegetables as they ran laughing down the cobblestone path.

***

How Roxy let Carlos rope her into an early morning run, she didn’t know.

It had sounded like a good idea when he’d called her last night while she sprawled out on her bed, attempting to digest the delicious meal Sabina had put together for her, Logan, and Joanna.

“I’m never eating that much again!” She’d promised him, agreeing to his request to take a run around his neighborhood. “I’m going to need to work all this off if I don’t want Jo to kick my ass at the gym this week.”

Carlos’ giggles burst through the other line, “Sounds like a plan then! I’ll see you in the morning at Kamford Gardens. Oh! And I’m bringing a friend, hope you don’t mind.”

Not at all, Roxy figured after they’d hung up. If she was already going to meet the other members of the boys’ hockey team at the New Year’s party, there was no harm in getting to know another new face. I wonder what they’ll be like.

From the brief bits and pieces Roxy heard about the band’s life before fame, all four of them had been quite popular; It came with the territory of being some of the best athletes on the school's most important sports team.

At Twin Oaks, Roxy’s first high school, that sport had been football, and it was no secret that the players on the team were given special treatment by just about anyone they came in contact with. From students, to teachers, to admin… Everyone wanted some sort of connection with their hometown sports stars. Though it was a sweeping generalization, she assumed the treatment at Mountain Aire was similar for those talented enough to make the hockey team.

Now, Roxy sat under the large gazebo on the outskirts of the park, waiting for Carlos and his friend to arrive so they could get a move on. After the run, she was planning on heading home to freshen up and meet with James for a date.

Most of the snow was still piled high from the storm a few days ago, but the city had done a wonderful job at clearing and salting the paved trail around the park. No major ice patches or dangerous snowbanks should stand in their way during their workout and they had the privilege of taking in the incredible sites around them. Roxy had never been to Kamford, but Carlos was pretty adamant that it be the location for their run. Wide sprawling fields, a slowly melting lake, and plenty of benches along the trail made Roxy a tad nostalgic for the park closer to her house. It was a staple for her and her father when they were younger; At times he was off work early they’d often take a few laps around the area before bed to work off any excess energy.

You certainly don’t get sights like this in Los Angeles… Sure, Griffith Park was nice, but nothing felt as homey and familiar as the snow-covered scene before her. Roxy could do without the shivering, however, considering all of her workout clothing had been purchased in California. As she jammed her hands into the thin pockets of her sage green windbreaker, she prayed the thermal leggings she’d dug out of her drawer would be enough to keep her warm until they began their run.

“Roxyyy!” Someone called from behind her, and she quickly stood from the park bench she was sitting on. A small twinge of anxiety bolted through her, hopefully Carlos’ friend is nice, when she turned to face him.

The first thing she noticed was his outfit - shorts, t-shirt, no helmet, despite the below-freezing temperatures turning their exposed bits of skin bright red. Second, his bright, dazzling smile as he jogged over to her. And third, the large dog running beside him, attached to a hot pink leash and matching collar. It stood out nicely against its snow-white coat, littered with black dots, and hot pink booties around all four paws.

By the time they caught up, Carlos almost crashed Roxy into a hug when he failed to slow down fast enough, which the dog was more than eager to join in on, jumping up on back paws to try and be a part of the action.

After a cordial greeting between the two friends, the Dalmatian leapt up onto the bench beside them, as if it were waiting to be introduced to the writer.

“And this is Missy!” Carlos shared, petting down between his dog’s ears. Lazily, Missy’s tongue rolled out of her mouth, as though she were smiling, like she understood she was the center of the conversation. “She’s our little ball of energy - She knows this place like the back of her paw!”

Just as Roxy had geeked over Logan’s cat, her smile grew about a million times wider as her hands flew to scratch behind Missy’s velvety ears. “Hi, Missy! Are you coming for a little run with us today?”

The dog practically melted into her touch, turning her head from side to side like she was trying to decide where the best scratches were coming from.

“Oh, no,” Her friend informed her, tugging once on the leash to coax Missy down off the bench. “We’re going for a run with her.”

Roxy swore the dog must’ve been fluent in English, because as soon as her owner finished his sentence, she took off toward the path, tugging him along with her.

“Alright then… Here we go!” The writer laughed, breaking out in a run to catch up to her friend. “Show us all the good spots then, Missy!”

And show them the good spots she did, after one continuous lap around the large lake. That dog sure knew she was in charge, leading them down a marked trail through the woods for a bit of off-road action, before pulling them back toward the playground and gazebo again.

Since she and the boys rarely worked out together - the schedule Gustavo and Mr. X had them stick to was a bit too strict for her liking - she had forgotten just how fast Carlos was. On top of his insane hockey player stamina, he was also the fastest of their four friends, as evidenced by the Palm Woods Invitational All-Terrain Disc-Cathlon Classic he had won earlier in the year, all while carrying his assistant on his back. It was a struggle to keep up sometimes, but Roxy held her own and imagined Missy slowed the pace down just for her.

Lungs burning, eyes watering, hands freezing, they finally came to a stop right back at where they’d started about twenty minutes later - Missy hopping back up onto the bench for pets as she panted away, while Carlos and Roxy obliged her wishes and took a breather, trying to come down from their runner’s high.

“This is her favorite place, I swear!” The boy said through labored breaths. “And she hasn’t run like that in a while! She must really like you.”

The assistant weighed the pros and cons of laying on the paved concrete floor below them, wondering if it would ease the growing ache in her legs. “Well, I like her too… But I also really hate her for working us so hard!” Missy barked, as though she resented the statement. “She’d get along great with Lighting, you know.”

Scoffing, Carlos checked his watch, before clicking his tongue a few times to get the Dalmatian back off the bench. “I’m not letting my precious baby girl anywhere near that womanizer!”

A growl rolled out of Missy’s throat, suggesting she also hated the idea as well, before she began to tug on the leash again, wanting to check out one of the snowbanks beside the gazebo.

“I certainly don’t need the two of you ganging up on me…” Huffed Roxy, slowly trailing along after the two as the dog sniffed around, lazily meandering down the path.

Though it was still quite early, more and more people were starting to head onto the park grounds to enjoy the nice weather - nice weather for Minnesota at least. A few more dogs as well, who Missy nearly bounded over to in order to play, while Carlos and Roxy made polite small talk with their owners. On top of the views, that was something else Minnesota had Los Angeles beat on: Everyone was always so friendly.

Maybe I just needed to get out of here for a while to appreciate just how nice Duluth is.

When Missy decided she was done playing, she trotted back over to Roxy and Carlos, tongue lolling and tail wagging back and forth a mile a minute while she patiently waited to be clipped back onto her leash.

“Did you have a good time, Missy?” Roxy asked, baby voice and all as she ran her hand down the Dalmatian’s smooth coat. “It looks like you’re getting tired!” Again, the dog must have understood exactly what Roxy was saying, because in response, she tugged on the leash and led the two back onto the path they’d just run, sniffing down the path while she dragged them around.

Carlos reached out and swatted her ponytail, “You can’t say the t-word around her! If she thinks we’re going home, she always tries to extend her walk.”

“I thought the t-word was ’treat’?”

Missy stopped her sniffing and looked back over her shoulder.

“That’s one of them!” The boy sighed, and reached into his pocket for a small baggie of round dog treats, extending one out to his assistant.

She scrunched her nose up, “No, thanks. Not a fan of that flavor.”

“You said it, you give it to her,” Carlos informed her, whistling Missy back toward them. “And, they don't actually taste that bad if you want one.”

An unpleasant image of Carlos guzzling dog treats filled her mind. Yuck.

The feeling of Missy’s tongue licking around her fingers to capture the treat shocked her against the cold feeling her fingers had gotten used to.

“Aw, ew! She’s all slobbery,” The girl cried, shaking her hand around in the air to try and relieve the unpleasant sensation before her eyes landed on her laughing friend. “What do you think you’re laughing at?”

Carlos just kept wheezing, and it was riling Missy up when he bent over to hug his sides. However, he didn’t find it as funny when Roxy held out her palm, wiggling her fingers, and attempted to wipe it off on the sleeve of his shirt. In fact, he quickly realized he’d need to run away from her, taking Missy with him, as she chased after him with her slobber-covered hand.

Neither of them had noticed just how far they’d gotten on the park trail until they reached the edge of the paved area, running along the smooth stoned sides of the melting creek. At one point, they’d even hopped over one of the narrow parts, despite the desperate plea of her heart to slow down, for a while before eventually getting back on the correct trail.

“Just… Use the water!” Carlos eventually called over his shoulder, motioning to his left at the small amount of runoff coming from the melting snow, and his assistant had no choice but to take his suggestion even if the slobber was frozen to her fingers at this point.

Her footsteps slowed, until she was eventually able to ease herself into a stop, and she squatted down to let the water run over her hand. Of course, it had been as cold as she had been expecting, but it didn’t stop her from flinching the moment the sensation hit her fingertips. “Dude, I think there’s something swimming around in here!”

From a few feet away, the boy turned his head to the side, “Really?” and took a few steps closer before bending down to see what his assistant was talking about.

With a snicker, Roxy raised her hand from the water and flicked her fingers toward him, covering his face in the snowy runoff. “Ha! Gotcha!”

A small gasp of surprise left his lips, but it didn’t take him any more than a second to dip his hand into the stream and splash Roxy as well, giggling just as loud as she was.

Even Missy wanted to get in on the fun, splashing into the river with her hot pink booties and causing the other two to scramble away from her as she jumped around. A few more rounds back and forth, both of them too focused on the task at hand while they tormented each other, neither of them noticed the tags on her collar jingle back and forth as she began to shake off the water on her coat.

When she had gotten so wet, Roxy and Carlos didn’t know, but soon they were pelted as the water jetted off her fur, cold little bombs erupted on their clothing and skin when each drop hit. Soon enough, they’d forgotten they were even messing with each other; Instead, they clutched onto each other as they ran to the closest path of wood they could find that wasn’t covered in snow, and collapsed together into a dripping, giggling mess.

Of course, Missy wasn’t far behind, and she practically launched herself into their laps, willfully begging for pets as the two finally allowed themselves a moment of rest together.

“Oh, God, I’m exhausted,” The writer announced, running one more hand down Missy’s back before collapsing back onto the forest floor behind her. Pine trees surrounded them, blocking out most of her view of the sky, but a few white patches poked through, likely promising another snowfall later in the day. “We’re not allowed to run together anymore…”

“Aw!” Carlos whined, plopping down beside her and poking her cheek. “I’ve got memories with all my favorite people at this park. Figured it wouldn’t hurt to make one with you too… But if it was that bad-”

She cut him off by driving a hand into his side, “I didn’t know that! I take it back, I swear!”

“Nope… It’s too late,” He pretended to sniffle, bringing a hand under his eyes as he wiped away his crocodile tears. “The damage has been done.”

“No! Now you need to tell me!” She fought back, coaxing Missy over to cuddle with her. “List. Now. Starting with ‘Fight with Roxy’ at the top, then…”

“Then, coming here almost every day after elementary school with my sisters. We’d wait here after school for mom to come pick us up, and sometimes the ice cream man would come by and they’d get me one of those messed up-looking popsicles with the gumball eyes.”

Roxy had only come into contact with Carlos’ three older sisters, Maria, Lupe, and Alena, but from what she knew about them, that tracked. They’d gushed over him backstage at their Duluth concert, so she imagined he’d been getting similar treatment now that he was back home.

“And next… Probably playing flag football over the summers with James! Those big fields are perfect for sports when they’re not covered with snow,” He grinned, “Ah, so you’re not just hockey heads, you’re ballers too?”

“Just the two of us… Logan didn’t like the rules and Kendall is hockey loyal. But! Logan and I used to run up and down the river here and catch little crayfish critters sometimes. And Kendall was here when I ran into a tree with my bike and gave myself this super nasty concussion!”

Shifting up onto one arm, still petting Missy with the other, Roxy rolled over to look at him, “These are supposed to be good memories.”

Carlos blinked his big brown eyes, “But it is! Because for my next birthday, you’ll never believe what he got me.”

“Better breaks?”

“A helmet! All nice and shiny brand new… It was glorious!” He continued to gush, smiling up at the clouds. “I’d just turned ten and I promised him I’d wear it for the rest of my life.”

His friend cocked a brow, “So you lied to him?”

Still staring upward as he lay on his back, Carlos reached out and captured her face in his palm, gently pushing her back down to the forest floor. “No. I grew out of it and got another one, then another one, then another one…”

As Carlos rattled on, Roxy half-tuned in as she tracked the movements of a crow hopping from branch to branch above them. She was almost jealous of him, getting to make so many good memories he was able to look back on fondly with his best friends about their hometown. Most of her favorite places here were stained with the memory of Mag and Dani, though she supposed it wasn’t all that bad.

Now I’ve got new memories of Cait’s basement, Kendall’s lake, Logan’s house, and Carlos’ park…

“And now I’ve got this one!” Carlos finished, reaching up to slap his head, only to wince when he realized he wasn’t wearing his normal protective gear, “...Back at home.”

At his pained words, Missy growled a bit, shaking herself from Roxy’s grip and walking over to her owner to lick at his face.

Incredible instinct on that one.

“Aw, baby,” The boy cooed, taking Missy’s face in his hands and giving her a boatload of scratches. “Is it time to go?”

The dog barked her confirmation, and when Carlos moved to stand, Roxy held out her hand. “Can we wait just a few more minutes? I’m still making my memory.”

***

When Roxy drove to James’ house to grab him that evening, she took a deep breath as she pulled up in front of his house and turned Dynamo’s rattling engine off.

Carefully, she flipped down the sun visor, checking her make-up meticulously in the mirror. If she was planning on meeting the Este Lauder of the Midwest tonight, nothing could be out of place. Even as she hopped out of the cab, she smoothed out the wrinkles in her dress despite her shaking hands.

James had it easy, she decided, getting to meet my dad before we were even together.

With a deep breath, she walked up the path leading through the meticulously manicured lawn on her way to the front door, only to be met with her boyfriend pulling open the door and slipping out to meet her before she was even halfway to the porch.

“Hey, babe!” He kissed her cheek, running a hand down her arm and lacing his fingers with hers as he pulled her back toward her tuck. “Love the dress… Do a little spin for me?”

“Uh,” The writer faltered, blinking up at James before doing as he asked. With each pound of her heel on the pavement as she turned, her pulse grew faster. “Don’t you think I should meet your mom before we head out?”

Again, James was pulling her back toward Dynamo. “Yeah, that’d be super, but she’s not home right now.”

Though she loved the wonderful view of his backside in his slacks and dress shirt as he trailed ahead of her, her eyes flickered to the right. A white Jeep Wrangler sat in the driveway.

“Did I tell you where we’re going tonight?” James asked her, interrupting her train of thought. “It’s this cool little hole-in-the-wall Italian place downtown. Owned by one of the guys on the MAHS team's family too. They’ll treat us like VIPs! Speaking of, Kendall said you’re coming to the party tomorrow, right?”

Roxy loved listening to him talk, no matter the circumstance, but right now, it felt like he was trying to bounce from subject to subject; She was having trouble following everything he’d asked her.

Smiling, the writer squeezed his hand as he opened the car door for her and waited for her to climb in before shutting it.

“Thanks, James,” She’d muttered when he finally took his place on the passenger’s side. “No, you didn’t say, but it sounds lovely! And yes, I’ll go if you’re going.”

There was an awkward pause, something quite new for the couple.

“Think she’ll be here when we get back? I’d like to meet her.”

That was a half-life, Roxy was terrified, especially considering all she knew of Brooke Diamond was her tragic, messy, public divorce, how protective she was of her son, and how little James talked about her.

“Probably, but she’s got a strict bedtime - 9 p.m. or she complains about puffy eyes the next day. It’s such a pain.” Her boyfriend reached for the stereo - she thought about slapping his hand away - turning up the volume on the tape Roxy’d popped in as she was driving over. “Who’s this? Sounds like something you’d be really good at playing on the guitar.”

James was trying to distract her.

“Fall Out Boy.” She took his bait, pulling away from the sidewalk with a knot in her stomach. “Dad and I saw them a couple of years ago. Tickets were almost impossible to get, but one of his friends from work knew someone who ran at the venue.”

Reaching out to turn it up again, Roxy gripped the wheel tighter at his next words. “You’re kidding! How sick… Did you two go to a lot of shows together?”

“How about we save the small talk for our date?” She said, putting on her best cheery voice despite how quickly she felt like spiraling. “Which road do I turn down once we’re in town?”

As James pulled out the printed directions from his front pocket, he scanned the page for the answer to her girlfriend’s question.

Meanwhile, she was attempting to get rid of the dull ache blooming in her chest, thinking she had been justified in her worry all those weeks ago.

Am I not the kind of girl you take home to your parents?

***

Jo and Camille had assured Roxy she was being ridiculous on their emergency-slash-Happy Birthday, Camille phone call last night. So, when she’d finally picked all her friends up, managed to make it to “Hawkins’ Haus,” and passed her keyes off to their designated driver, Kendall, Roxy was ready to forget all about the dark worry itching at the back of her mind.

Drink, dance, have a good time… Simple, she planned out in her head, clutching at her boyfriend’s arm as the five of them entered the large modern-style house to the sound of loud party chatter over whatever unseen speakers were blasting the top hits of the last year. Plenty of teenagers filled the space ready to celebrate the New Year together, making it tough for the five to all move together through the entrance and into the living room, where a group of boys were all lounging on whatever furniture or floor space was available.

From her conversation with Kendall, Roxy had assumed it was just a party with the team and a few of their friends, but as she glanced around the space it was packed with people as far as she could see. Mountain Aire was one of the largest high schools in the area; She wouldn’t be surprised if most of the student population was in attendance tonight. From the entrance to the fenced-in backyard, even to the second floor it was wall-to-wall people.

“Hawkinsssss!” She heard Carlos boom behind her, and one of the boys turned his head, eyes lighting up as he practically jumped out of his armchair to greet the newcomers.

“Garcia?!” Hawkins called back, arms wide. “Get your ass over here!”

Happy to oblige, Carlos tackled the boy into a bear hug, “Dude, it’s been too long!”

A few of the other guys were standing now, slowly heading over to greet Kendall, Carlos, James, and Logan as well.

“Team captain,” James murmured in Roxy’s ear, before flashing his award-winning smile and reaching out from behind her to shake his hand. “Good to see you, man.”

“And you, Diamond! God, look at you!” The captain beamed, and now that they were closer Roxy could get a better look at him in the dim light. Like her friends, he was infuriatingly handsome, which she was beginning to think was a requirement if someone wanted to join the MAHS hockey team just from an inventory of the room. Waved brown hair fell over his just-as-brown eyes as he looked down at the girl in front of him, flashing a wry smile. “And you brought a real Los Angeles model with you? Damn, dude!”

Feeling her cheeks heat, Roxy leaned back into her boyfriend as he introduced her. “Kit Hawkins, Roxanne Somerset. And she’s not a model - though she could be if she wanted, for sure.”

Roxy held her hand out, “I’m a songwriter, actually. And house band member. And assistant… I wear many, many hats. Nice to meet you!”

Kit’s calloused hands rose to meet her own, shaking it up and down before bringing her knuckles to his lips.

“Girlfriend!” James blurted out, pulling Roxy’s hand into his the moment Hawkins let it go. “Did I mention she’s my girlfriend?”

Raising both his palms in defense, Kit’s eyes widened, “My bad, my bad! Sorry, Roxanne. Either of you want something to drink?”

The assistant shook her head, not for now at least, but James took him up on the offer, snagging one of the cold cans from one of many coolers she could spot around the room.

Gradually, more and more greetings were exchanged, James letting Roxy know who everyone was around the room as they piled onto the couch together. As he pulled her into his lap to create some room for Logan to sit beside them, his thumb rubbed a soothing circular pattern into her hip as she did her best to remember everyone’s names.

All of the players referred to each other by last name, which was easy enough with her own friends, but James using first and last names in his introductions was throwing her off a bit as she tuned into their conversations. In one part of the room, Kendall was detailing some of the crazy aspects of Hollywood, in another, an MAHS player, Callaghan, was talking to Logan about the team’s stats for the year.

“They’re totally gonna make the playoffs,” He spoke aloud, presumably only to Roxy once Callaghan started to rattle off some sort of statistics. “Seems like Hawkins is doing a good job…”

Across the way, it sounded like Carlos was telling the story of their audition to players Streicher and Logan - not to be confused with her own Logan - who were almost rolled over in laughter when he mentioned farting into the microphone in front of one of L.A.’s biggest music producers.

Draping an arm over James’ shoulder, Roxy leaned into his chest a bit more as she brought her lips down to his ear, “I didn’t expect there to be so many players! Isn’t there… like competition to get onto the team or something?”

“Most pro teams only have about 20 players; MAHS has room for 16 on their varsity team and you’re looking at every single one of them.”

Roxy felt her eyes widen, “For the entire student population?”

After a slow sip of his vodka soda, James nodded, “Best of the best, baby.”

For a moment, as she turned back to the story Kendall was telling, she thought about what it would be like if they went to a normal high school. Flashes of partnering with Logan at the chem lab, holding her boyfriend’s hand as they walked down the locker-lined hallways, passing notes with Carlos in history… Sitting surrounded by other “normal” teenagers almost had her longing for a life back in Minnesota.

Without thinking, she lifted the can from James’ hand and took a few small sips. “I can’t believe I’m dating a jock. Doesn’t that throw off the high school ecosystem balance or something?” “Nah,” He assured her, pointing over to another player, Graham. “He’s dating one of the best artists ever and…” It took him a second, but his finger landed on another boy, Miller. “His girlfriend really loves Bauhaus and…” Roxy took another sip of his drink as he pointed someone else out, King. “His partner’s a pothead. All things considered, it’s a good mix.”

“Sounds like you needed a musician,” She mused, planting a kiss on his cheek before resting her forehead on his. “You’d let me wear your varsity jacket, right?”

“Rox, are you kidding me?” The hand on her hip flexed. “I’ll seriously run home and get it right now if you promise you’ll wear it the rest of the night-”

Bang!

The sound of aluminum crunching against a plastic surface made the both of them jump and turn toward the source of the sound, Carlos. “Whoo!”

“Shit,” Roxy giggled, watching as he threw the can across the room and into one of the many waste bins scattered about. “He’s one down; We need to catch up.”

“Say less, babe. Let’s go see what else they’ve got.”

Two seltzers later, James and Roxy were tearing up the dancefloor.

Well, more like James was thanks to his professional coaching over the last year, and his attempts to guide his girlfriend into some smoother moves went unheard as she rocked from side to side. At the end of each song, she’d find her way back into his arms, complaining that it was over, before getting excited on the first note of whatever came next, telling him how that was her favorite song ever.

Eventually, he was able to keep her close by hooking his fingers in the belt loops of her jeans, as her moves slowly began to synchronize with his thanks to their proximity. Despite music flowing through her veins and a presence at every single Big Time Rush dance practice and live performance, she still lacked good rhythm to move her own body to but figured practice makes perfect.

Hands trailing up the sides of her boyfriend’s chest and eventually winding around his neck, she pulled herself even closer, belting out the words to whatever song was the background track for their moves. Even with her heart beating out of her chest from all the activity, each time James brushed up against her or tightened his hold on her hips, it increased to what Roxy feared may be near fatal levels.

Though the house was dim, she caught glimpses of his face now and then as he bobbed his head to the beat. Be it their alcohol intake or the loosening she felt overtake her brain, but she noticed a splash of red on his cheeks, causing her own to heat in return.

Water. James finally made her drink not one, but two bottles of water after their stint on the dance floor and a small make-out session in the second-floor hallway, before they found themselves back on the couch and caught up in a party game with the hockey team.

Normally, Roxy was not one to partake in Truth or Dare with strangers, but her inhibitions were lowered just enough and she wanted to see her other friends so badly, that she and James allowed themselves to be roped into the shenanigans happening in the living room.

Logan - her Logan - was already stripped down to his boxers after a series of unfortunate dares, Callaghan was forced to recount his most embarrassing memory, and Kendall was currently wearing his shoes on his hands.

“Oh, James!” Hawkins called, slightly swaying in his seat as he singled out his victim for the next round. “Truth or dare?”

Roxy felt James hum under her while he chose, and she secretly hoped he might have to take off some clothing too.

“Dare.”

He almost didn’t catch the beer can the team captain hurtled his way, but managed to use his free hand - the one not circling Roxy’s waist - to catch it.

Immediately, despite various levels of intoxication, the whole room caught on to Hawkins’ scheme and began chanting, “Chug, chug, chug, chug!”

And chug James did, like a champion, while Roxy watched in awe. And a little bit to see his Adam’s Apple bob up and down and think about all the kisses she could plant on his neck later, but that wasn’t as important.

It took him about 25 seconds, and when he finished, the room broke into a wild ovation, as though he’d just scored the winning goal at a hockey game. Careful not to disturb the girl in his lap, he chucked the can right back at Hawkins before adding his other arm around her waist and tugging Roxy even closer into him.

She didn’t even think before she grabbed his face and kissed him in front of God and everybody, licking up whatever remained of the bitter-tasting drink. They ignored the cheers that erupted after that, simply indulging in each other for a few more seconds, until someone cleared their throat to remind James it was his turn to pick a new victim.

Sometime later, King had begrudgingly told the story of his first kiss, Carlos did an entire piece of Big Time Rush choreography without the music, and Graham had to hold hands with Miller until one of them passed out for the night.

Roxy thought she had done a pretty good job at hiding under the radar for most of the game, not being too loud or encouraging any of the more embarrassing asks, so when Miller slurred her name, it almost shocked her. “Roxanne? Truth or dare?”

As much as she suspected James would also like it if she removed a few articles of clothing, she didn’t want to take her chances in a room full of other guys. “Truth. Definitely truth.”

“Alright then,” Miller grinned, though one of his eyes blinked before the other as he thought up his question. “What’s your biggest fantasy?”

Idiot… Roxy smiled, hands playing with the plastic water bottle she had just finished. He didn’t specify what kind…

“I want a big house!” She blurted, “Like so big you want to ride a bike from one end to the other, and your legs hurt from walking up so many stairs. And a huge yard, huge… With a big lake that freezes over in the winter so we can skate on it and trails leading into the forest. Oh! And a music studio inside too, so I can make whatever I want and Gustavo can’t tell me no.”

At some point, James’ grip on her tightened, and she could feel his eyes on her as she continued to babble off whatever came to mind.

“And pets!” She yelled, so loud it almost frightened her, and she dropped the bottle to talk with her hands as she listed them all off. “Dogs… Cats… Turtles… Hamsters… We are going to have so many pets! And a place to show off all my instruments and all your platinum records, which are actually all my platinum records, but they’ll say your name on them because you’re in the band and I’m not, okay?”

By now, it was no secret she was speaking directly to James, considering they were basically staring at each other, as if there were nobody else in the room when she finally finished her thought. He was lapping up every single word his girlfriend was saying with eager nods, offering up no argument or additions to her fantasy.

“House, lake, trail, studio, pets, and… museum? I think I can manage all that for you,” James said, and she felt the circles from his thumbs begin again. “Anything else you’d like to add?”

Immediately, her face caught fire. It was one thing for her to rattle off all the silly things she’d thought of to avoid answering the real question Miller had been getting at, but the more she thought about it, the more truth her statement held than she’d originally intended.

She leaned into him giggling, “Yeah, actually-”

“Fifteen seconds to midnight!”

Everybody began to scramble, grabbing drinks, grabbing partners, grabbing 12 of the fresh green grapes from the kitchen counter. Everybody, except for James and Roxy, who were still locked in their loving gaze as their friends all contributed to the chaos around them.

“Ten-”

“Roxanne?”

“Nine, eight-”

“Hm?”

“Seven, six-”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Five, four-”

“You think you need to ask?”

“Three, two, one… Happy New Year!”

#thats all she wrote fic #big time rush #james diamond #kendall knight #logan mitchell #carlos garcia #james maslow #kendall schmidt #logan henderson #carlos penavega

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