#christian linke when i catch u

[janceezer]

hey christian linke !! saying that viktor is ace when you see people shipping jayce and viktor…trying to stop them….is so so: WEIRD. and hurtful.

let me preface by saying: any interpretation of viktor is valid, ace, non-ace, etc.

however the point is christian’s motives and disgusting stereotyping / stigmatizing;

1. ace people can still feel levels of attraction towards others

2. implying that all disabled people must be ace by giving a character the ace label, is weird. i am disabled and not asexual

3. this is hurtful towards ace, disabled AND gay people. u pretend to care about ace people, u outright discourage gay people reading relationships as gay (feels homophobic) and u stigmatize disabled people…

4. if u actually cared about ace rep you wouldn’t do it in such a backward way and phrasing and timing etc

5. We don’t give a fuck and are not stopping because you’re upset about how we interpret your gay ahhh writing of the two of them..write them as bros next time or smth L + ratio + stay mad

[sammyluvr]

NO MY RS TEACHER WAS A CONSERVATIVE GRADE-A BITCH

like she’d link everything back to christianity bc she’s christian and trying to shove christianity down our throats and it made me rlly uncomfortable bc i grew up with my dads side of the family trying to force me to follow islam as a religion and i js hate when ppl try doing that to other ppl bc it happened to me at such a young age (still happens now tbf it’s js more subtle) and im very open abt not being religious (i have some morals n stuff from islam and christianity bc my mums side r christians) but i celebrate christmas with my mum’s family and eid with my dad’s family and u could tell she js was not okay with that (ik it’s weird but my dad and my siblings aren’t particularly religious, only 1 of my siblings is particularly close with islam). also she told my friend they were gonna go to hell bc of not agreeing with christianity. ANYWAYS NIKKI WHEN I CATCH U NIKKI😤 but yeah rant over😋🤞

-💽

UGH THAT'S CRAZYYYY yeah you could tell this teacher was christian for sure. she wasn't this bad at all but considering she had a class full of all liberal ap lit kids was sort of hilarious because she'd say shit and we'd spend the whole discussion arguing with her LMAOOO

but i so feel you about the religion thing... i grew up in utah in the morman church :D and yeah that shit really gets shoved down your throat :DD so yeah big rip hashtag religious trauma <3

[rawrmeansilyindinosawr]

do NOT GO TO LE BAIN NEAR THE HIGH LINE

ur depressed n hungover n the wifi is out at your house even though u pay for it ur roommate scammed the electricity company the entire last year til they just now recently caught on so now we just have to pay but the power was out for a couple hours, either way the summers in bushwick always seem to make ur cell service weird. u kinda feel sad texting ur crush and theyre all green bubbles instead of blue ones w read receipts. it feels alot like hot sugar sinkies with the emo couple that keep missing each other and giving weird hot n cold signs til she od's on xans and he gets clocked in the back of the head w a bottle and all u can see is how they were both typing messages to each other but it never got sent. so u end up oversharing venting at klom klorm and having strangers tell u to start a radio talk show or something and u remember the last time u were here u ordered 4 pitchers of sangrias at 11am with ur friend, left properly tipsy but got a bottle anyway then went drunk thrifting at L train…in between getting ketamine delivered to u it was a fun lil salad.<3 we all go separate ways then link up again for afterparties n drinks, yr sent out to find a vape in midtown near grand central terminal and yr lost AF n kinda feel like a disappointment cuz back in La la land everything is so accescible n u hate coming back empti handed for yr friendz [ur also like never gonna forgive yrself for asking a REAL NEW YORKER a year ago if there were more bodegas in the city in comparison to brooklyn, sigh. whateverz.]

bartschland had a top energy cute fashion party at the standard at the high line near the piers on a tuesday night/morning and yr friends getting too drunk at the pregame and fell to their knees at the club entry while tourists laugh. u cuss out the tourists that are laughing and making fun of ur friendz for tapping out. i hate how mean ppl kan b. like y stand there n laugh while u have access into the club to get water. there needz to be more kindness in the world smh. le bain should let EVERYONE in too but dont ever go to the one near the standard high line anymore.

moral of the story: no matter what ifwe tapped out or not we are always pheonixes never just the flames. and no one can take our light away we wont hide it either under a bushel or rock or however the fuck that song goes, and if ur purse catches on fire u better put it out with ur body.

[christian trauma is very real for meh.]]

but u love yr friends sm so many good memories with them like losing ur sock at bossa nova / blacking out after we mixed molly in our drinks in the bathroom and also tht same nite losing ur FAV bell bottoms ur shitty landlord back in LA left at that overpriced house u rented after graduating college in like FUK they made ur legs look sooo long, u took ur digis for ur modeling agency in them but whatevs.

U've dropped molly w them at 1pm just to celebrate the beginning of bk fashion week at bush terminal park but like we got kinda lost cuz why is it so fucking big and circley to begin with....u sat on what u THOUGHT was grass but it was like a big SPIKEY fucking ROCK and u end up with a big scrape on ur butt. whatever it wuz like kinda kute like a KUTE lil kiss and ur a power bottom anyway…..it all works out for everyone.

meeting Fabio [heart eyes insert] <3 at the kick off event was surreal AF. he gave us a ted talk about ethical non monogamy and almost consentually kidnapped us in his van full of stuff he found off the STREET. hows that for treasure n THRIFTY FINDS street/STOOPING EDITION w splash of hoarding w charitable motives. a brazilian woman stopped me to ask me to model her yellow purse in the mystery van, i guess it was a vibe i did look v much like the prodigy of karl largfield except like much less predatory n masculine.

so sorri to everyone we consistently call n text together when we are drunk n tipsy n rolling, sorri to everyone who had to hear us sing wonderwall by oasis off tune n out of key but no regrets. if u hate it lose mi number. but no regrets, life is better without them. we r all human experiencing human thingz, human desires, human flawz...no regrets!!! even the nite we got covid together at mr purple. many closeted lesbian vibes there n aggressive men from yonkers. the uber ride to the after party was fun tho.

ANNDDD the random gemini boy who was 1/4 racist who took us into this hotel to do blow in and get free hot green tea. v excited for VIXEN MAW's concert june 11th, grindcore is kute n KAWAll.

typing this all on the subway w personal hotspot, never thought i would have the audacity to be one of THESE PPLZ. guy nxt to me is singing sad gurlz love money Bollywood edition while swiping on grindr. i just know i HAVE GOT TO GET HOTTER and stop dating musicianzz. anyway.

GO PARTY ANYWHERE BUT DONT GO TO LE BAIN AT THA HIGHLINE .

[fiercestpurpose]

what are some of ur favorite comic writers working today? could u recommend ur favorite runs of them also?

My knee-jerk response to this was “I don’t read comics actually” lmao, but here’s a couple of answers. I’ve assumed for the sake of this list that you are a Marvel fan, but if you’re looking for something else, ask me!

Saladin Ahmed - I got into his stuff because of Abbott, a miniseries from Boom! about a black journalist in 1970s Detroit who investigates a series of murders that are linked to the occult. The book is about race and about loss and about the responsibility that journalists have to their community.

For Marvel, I have to rec his Black Bolt (2017). It’s the series that really made me care about Mr. Blackagar Boltagon; it’s about prisons and torture and what it means to be a criminal or to be in captivity. (It’s more serious than many Marvel comics, but it is still a Marvel comic, so don’t expect shockingly revolutionary political opinions. All the same, I think it handles its subject matter decently.) It’s gorgeously illustrated by Christian Ward, who is always at his best when he’s in space, and it made me genuinely care about all its characters.

If you like Ahmed, he’s currently writing Magnificent Ms. Marvel and Miles Morales: Spider-Man. And if you like Ms. Marvel and Spider-Man, catch them in the upcoming Champions series by Dr. Eve L. Ewing, who wrote the excellent Ironheart series that was unfortunately cut short.

Kieron Gillen - Gillen? On a rec list? Groundbreaking. I know, I know, everyone and their mother will rec Gillen, but it’s for good reason, I promise. I adore his writing. His indies are his best stuff - The Wicked + the Divine, Once & Future, Die, but he’s written plenty of excellent stuff for Marvel too.

Journey into Mystery (starting at #622) introduces a new version of Loki after his death, a version who seeks to do good and be trusted. This heartbreaking run is about trying to fight yourself, your fate, and the fate you make for yourself.

1602 Witchhunter Angela was co-written with Marguerite Bennett. It features Angela and Sera as hunters of witches in the time of King James. It leads into Angela: Queen of Hel, written solely by Marguerite Bennett, in which Angela goes to Hel to retrieve her lover and claim the throne.

Young Avengers (2013). I mean, how could I not rec this? It’s fun, it’s gay, it’s teens who can’t trust their parents learning to rely on each other and themselves to save the day.

Siege (2015), also called Siege: Battleworlds, is the story of Abigail Brand in a never-ending war to defend The Wall. It’s interesting, it’s got a lot of conceptual versions of characters from the Marvel Universe, it’s a pretty neat four-issue mini.

Charles Soule - Charles Soule has the rare gift of taking a character and writing a perfectly respectable, absolutely normal story about the character. That might sound like damning with faint praise, but in this industry, it is truly a rare gift. Real Daredevil fans don’t like his Daredevil (2016), but as a casual fan, I would recommend it. Soule himself is a lawyer, and it comes through in the way he writes.

Also, I don’t know how you feel about Star Wars comics (and I could make a whole other rec list for that lol), but his Star Wars stuff is good - the Lando mini, the Poe Dameron series (honestly the best Poe content ever), the Obi-Wan & Anakin mini.

Mariko Tamaki - Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up With Me is a beautiful, touching coming-of-age story about gay love and gay friendship. It was, for me, one of the few gay YA books that actually felt real and true to my experience.

Harley Quinn: Breaking Glass made me a Harley fan, completely changed my perspective on the character. It’s a graphic novel alternate universe origin story of how a lonely girl learns the true meanings of community, anarchy, friendship, and baseball bats. It explores her relationships with the Joker and with Ivy.

X-23 (2018) made a lot of people mad, but the things they were mad about (the name change from Wolverine back to X-23, the costume change that put her back in that crop top) were editorial mandate and not Tamaki’s fault. Tamaki’s writing is solid, her characterization of Laura is miles better than Taylor’s, and she adds some real depth to Gabby and the Laura/Gabby relationship. The first arc pits Gabby and Laura against the Stepford Cuckoos in a story that takes a different approach to the question of what it means to be a clone.

And that’s what I have for you today! Ask me if you have any more specific recs, but these are the authors whose work I genuinely enjoy reading and look forward to seeing more of.

[cleverbroadwayurl]

It Only Takes a Taste (Jeremy Heere x Reader Pt. 22)

Song: It Only Takes a Taste from Waitress 

Word Count: 6316 

Need to Catch Up? The links are weird on this site! Check my masterlist! 

A/N: Oh my god I’m not sure how I did it, but I promised it and here it is! I know that there’s been a lack of content lately, and I’m trying to fix that while making a living for myself and wow it’s getting to be a lot! But I will keep working at it and trying because I know when writing gets posted, others are more inclined to create as well! So here’s part 22!! Credit to: MJ!! 

Taglist: @retrogarden @be-more-heidi-hansen @scarsonthecuffsofyourjeans @bluhimaweirdo @catatonic-kuragin @stargirl-murphy @dee-writes-fics @macbookpro-hard-drive (I thought I’d tag u bc this fic was literally like your idea) 

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of an abusive ex-boyfriend, mentions of intimacy. mentions of fear of intimacy, implied trauma, mentions of trauma, self-depreciation, mentions of the SQUIP, mentions of The Play, mentions of previous fic parts, IF I MISSED ANYTHING PLEASE LET ME KNOW

Jeremy nods, and stutters out a quick “okay” before you practically vanish before his eyes. Everything and everyone around him was almost static, as if you hadn’t been there at all. But the tingly feeling in Jeremy’s heart and hands said different. It was something different within him. It was the first time he’d left and had some kind of security when thinking about you. Everything almost worked out, was almost perfect, and it was like….god he didn’t even know. You trusted him. You were okay. And in a solid night, he had gotten everything he’d wished so hard for—and he wouldn’t trade that for the entire world.

The Heere household hadn’t been so clean in years. Jeremy’s mom was the last person to really get it sparkling, until this very second, in which Jeremy was counting plates, blankets, amount of food, sodas, waters, amongst other things that had been perfectly laid about for an arrival that had been planned days in advance. Of course, you’d seen the Heere household in its usual somewhat cluttered glory before, but this was different, this was new, this was planned.

But it wasn’t a date…or was it? Jeremy stood for a second and stared at an old painting that had been there as long as he could remember. Was this a date? It was a planned interaction between the two of you, you coming over in what, 20 minutes or so? And yet, there was that same lingering feeling in the air, like you were still off limits like this was just the typical friend thing that he and Michael did. You were just coming over to play games…but then again, that could be counted as a date. He’d heard of other people doing that, but he also heard that there was sometimes no romance to it. Of course, he had Google searched it because his gut was just as unsure as to the logic. He knew that you wanted to be there. You’d texted him first, he brought up the idea of game night, you liked it, said you’d come over in a few days, now minutes, and he was still confused about the entire event. But, instead of pushing romance onto you, Jeremy made a definitive decision that this was a friend date. Yeah, just a friend thing. The last thing Jeremy would ever want to do was make you feel pressured into something you weren’t ready for. He assumed you’d seen that so many times before, and he wanted to be a source of comfort, a source of happiness. He just wanted to make you safe.

The ring of the doorbell catches him off guard, and he runs to answer it, the small window not being completely transparent to display who was really out there. He really hoped it was you and not a religious group asking if he had thought about Christianity that day. With a flick of the lock, and a twist of his wrist, the door was opened, and there you stood, almost basking in the light radiating from the house.

You’d mentioned you would be wearing something comfortable because it wasn’t worth it to play games in jeans—Jeremy agreed, of course, meaning he was in his own sweatpants and t-shirt—but even though you stood in pretty much the same attire, Jeremy couldn’t help but feel underdressed. For the first time ever, you stood on Jeremy’s doorstep, a genuine smile on your face, shoulders tall, and no fear emitted from you. It was the first time Jeremy had seen you healthy in front of him, your cheeks a normal color and your eyes as bright as Jeremy could ever only imagine them. Seeing them in real life felt like a fantasy of some kind. Nervousness creeps its way into your features and Jeremy suddenly realizes he’s been staring at you for like two minutes straight, oh my god, he has to say something otherwise it’ll get more awkward.

But why were you nervous? You should not be the one who’s nervous. You were a good person, even though Jeremy had seen the slander that had happened against you on social media less than recently. But you knew Jeremy, and Jeremy knew you. Meaning all of that stuff that was said Jeremy knew was only conjecture. He knew that it was lies and attempts to get people onto your ex-boyfriend’s side. Some believed him, Jeremy was sure, but your reputation only got stronger with Jeremy. He saw it as you being so successful while the things you left behind put up a fight before dying. It was a triumph. Your nerves became more and more apparent, and Jeremy began to mirror that, his own hands beginning to sweat because oh my god he definitely didn’t say anything like he was supposed to.

“Sorry I’m late, I had to change after work, and they kept me late so uhh…” you began hands fidgeting with the edge of your sweatshirt. Your eyes darted downwards, and Jeremy resented himself for making you revert to old habits.

“Oh! It’s fine, actually, uhh the food was uhh late and it’s totally okay,” Jeremy rushed out.

You giggle at him as he opens the door and lets you inside. He knows you’ve seen his house before, but you still stop to take it all in. It’s different. It’s new for both of you, but good. There’s something in the air as Jeremy stares; your eyes following the structure of his living room before they finally land back on him. He blushes and turns his eyes towards the ground, cheeks and ears getting hot. Jeremy can feel every little droplet of sweat…god it feels like he’s going through middle school again, a smile on your adorable face as he does so. He fidgets with the hem of his shirt before he asks if you just want to head down into the basement. You smile and nod, heading towards the door and down the stairs as Jeremy grabs a pizza and some water. Jeremy can feel the smile on his face grow as he carefully steps down the stairs and into the already-lit basement.

Jeremy sets the pizza down in front of the TV and beanbags, far enough away where both of you have leg room, but not so far that the pizza is unreachable. You sit on one end of the room, while Jeremy sits on the other; beanbags having so much space between them, Michael could probably take a nap in the space. But it feels right. For some reason, space seems to be a requirement before continuing with the night. There’s no pressure to touch, there’s no pressure of accidents, and for some reason, it feels like a decision that needed to be made, and was, mutually.

Eyeing up his own game collection, Jeremy turns to you, realizing that you’d been watching him, almost as he’d been watching you. “What did you want to start with?”

“It’s up to you” comes your response, corners of your mouth turning upwards. Jeremy can feel his heart beating faster at that, along with the fact that you were admiring—no—observing him from a distance. Your eyes glistened in the dimmed lights, almost brighter than any afternoon summer sun. He hadn’t seen that ever, even when he’d first started noticing you. It had always been slightly dimmer. But this? This freedom, this happiness? Was something Jeremy was so glad he had the opportunity to witness in his—friend.

It’s only now that Jeremy realizes that you had just cast the decision of what to do onto him. His mind raced with options, none of them being worthy of your time, especially since you hadn’t shown a preference and you were the guest, so this would be a tough choice. He wanted something fair, something that both of you could get into, even if that meant he would have to sacrifice winning. Maybe winning wasn’t important with you around. Jeremy decided that as long as you two were comfortable and having fun, anything would be fine. That’s probably why you put the decision onto his shoulders. Jeremy could recall you mentioning something about Mario Kart before, and he thought that was a safe choice, even though he wasn’t the best at it, to say the least. Michael would drag that into a melodrama about just how terrible Jeremy was at Mario Kart, but it was something that was current common ground between you and the nervous boy. He moves slowly, almost like the rules that had been distinguished in that basement so many months ago were still significant. He finds the cartridge and puts it into his switch before turning on the system. He takes a glance backward, almost checking to see if everything is okay with you, and he watches as you observe the screen, biting your lip as you do so. It isn’t a soft biting of the lip, it’s almost like you’re nervous, like that’s a way to take the stress out of the situation. Maybe the rules were still significant. You two were alone in the house, basement door closed with heavy and steep stairs leading to an exit. Maybe that was scary. Maybe that was nerve-wracking.

But instead of dwelling on trying to decide what would ease you, it was almost like he knew that actions would soothe that more than anything. He grabs the attachments for the joycons, allowing both of you to play instead of just one player. He held out them in front of you, blue and red controllers both set up for playing. The title music played softly as he wordlessly smiled and gestured to pick whichever one you wanted. And that was a true no preference choice he’d laid out in front of you. Left or right, red or blue, Jeremy didn’t care as long as you were comfortable. The weight of the choice brings your face down, the glisten in your eyes dims, and your hand gently grabs the red one as Jeremy’s other hand grasps the blue one. Your expression doesn’t change as you gingerly hold the joycon and get your hands in place for playing. Your nerves hit Jeremy hard, but he was glad you managed to choose the one controller you wanted.

Jeremy had ended up with the blue one, the left-handed one, but he didn’t mind. You were sitting, observing the controller before he hit start. And finally, things started to ease within the room.

With a few quick button presses, the multiplayer menu is displayed, more choices set in front of both of you. He looks at you again, seeing which one looks like the best option. But your eyes are almost stuck on the cursor on the screen. It’s almost like you’re scared of what is going to be picked. He brushes the thought aside and gives you a choice once again. His own preferences for what he wants to do are out of the door. Even as just friends, Jeremy’s priority is providing a comfortable place to just relax for a second. That’s how he and Michael had managed to become friends without filters. Michael wanted to battle in Mario Kart?? He’d say it, loudly, and usually compromising with later rounds. Jeremy was able to do the same, friendly arguments are healthy. They make sense. You’re allowed to disagree with the people around you. But then again, maybe you weren’t scared of the choice, but rather really wanted to do a particular type. Just to be sure, he somehow verbalized his concerns: “Is there a type you wanted to do? Grand Prix? Just races? Or Battle?”

“Any of them is fine with me,” your smile almost seems forced, like something is keeping you on edge. The very last thing Jeremy wants to do is make you uncomfortable, but this seems like it’s something bigger than him.

“Okay. I know I’m still working through 100cc, so did you just want to help me out with that?” Jeremy asks, hands becoming sweatier as he asks.

“Sure!” You smile at him again, more genuinely this time. He can see the ease drip into your posture, You bat your eyes towards the ground, before gripping your controller.

He selects Grand Prix before looking to you once again as your eyes concentrate on each cup like they were an intensely written sensation novel instead of just simple “Fun English” chosen by game writers. “Is there a cup you like that I haven’t completed?”

“Uhh kinda weird and retro, but Shell cup,” you say, eyeing up the courses, light coming back in as you do so.

“Shell cup it is.”

As the cup begins, your smile gets wide and you ease into the bean bag a little further. Your hands grip the controller as you get ready to race. It doesn’t even take a look for Jeremy to realize that you’ve relaxed, and he does the same. It’s a friendly game, both of you not worried about winning or losing in the present moment, just having some fun as friends. As the course is showcased on the screen, you two share a smile, followed by a chuckle, and the race beginning.

“I love Moo Moo Meadows,” you blurt out, red grazing your cheeks, like it was a fact that was embarrassing.

“Oh no way, me too!”

And that was the truth. He almost always saved Shell Cup for the last because of Moo Moo Meadows. One lap goes by, and then another. It feels too fast, like the Game Theory episode suggests. Racers, according to the episode, go anywhere from 120-200 miles per hour, just like Jeremy’s heart at this moment. He glances at your face as you steal the lead, your concentration just as heartwarmingly adorable as it had been in senior government. But this had more heart, more passion, it felt like something more beautiful and purely stemmed from something good rather than a dumb group activity. He notices your body tilted with the kart as your character on screen turns and drifts, the sparks around the tires turning from orange to blue. Your thumb flicks and the kart straightens out, giving yourself such a lead that Jeremy swears he’s never witnessed, even when playing with Michael.

His eyes turn back to the screen, and he’s doing somewhat well. Except not really, since his character is in 10th and bound to hit a wall at some point. You’re onto lap 3, and Jeremy is a little over halfway through with lap 2, but it doesn’t matter. He’s just happy that you’re having fun and helping him get that cool trophy, even though for his favorite track, he was doing rather terribly. He glances again at your screen, and you’re still in first with an even better lead, and he’s sure that not even a blue shell could make you place second. Jeremy makes a note to not look at your screen anymore, that it’s causing him to lose places every time he does it. He speeds up, and finally finishes 4th, which isn’t too bad for his favorite track and for messing up so badly halfway through.

The cup flies by faster than Moo Moo Meadows ever did, but Jeremy’s heart kept the pace. The scores are predictable, you did mention that you were rather good at Mario Kart. You’re in first while Jeremy’s keeping fifth. But for the first time ever, he doesn’t care. Frustration doesn’t come with fifth, it’s rather warmth and grace. There isn’t taunting like there usually is with Michael, instead, he gets you stating “keeping a place like fifth is so difficult, I’m impressed. First is easy once you get there.”

As soon as the cup finishes and the final scores are displayed, you earning a three-star ranking, a sticker, and a perfect first, Jeremy still keeps his average at fifth. He usually gets fifth or sixth. First or fourth, maybe, on a good day. But instead of saying something sweet or even a “good game”, your face pales, eyes stuck once again on the screen. Your elbows are practically digging into your body, hands gripping the controller so hard that he can practically see your knuckles turning blue. There was something so familiar about this behavior, the way your shoulders shot up in discomfort, the way your razor sharp focus was unforgiving and isolating, and the way you held everything you had.

“Wow,” Jeremy said, breaking the silence, and hopefully the tension that kept itself locked in your body, “you’re really good at Mario Kart.” You just nodded in response, nothing else moving but the slight movement.

Jeremy’s mind raced faster than it had in a long time. Did he do something wrong? What happened? In that short amount of time, his mind tried to recall every little thing he’d said, every movement, every detail that had been placed in front of him, no matter how small. Did he accidentally move closer to you? Did you catch him staring like a creep? He didn’t remember accidentally bumping into you or touching you without consent in any way, shape, or form, besides maybe brushing hands when you’d grabbed the controller from his hand. But that was before the Moo Moo Meadows conversation when you’d seemed to relax so much. And if he had accidentally brushed you or something, he’d immediately apologize for that. He couldn’t remember anything that had happened over the course of the four races. But then again, your perceptions were different than his. His mind might forget something but yours might keep it locked away forever. And leaving it silent was worse than just asking, apologizing, and getting it resolved, rather than keeping it in the open air, where it could really hurt you.

“I’m sorry if I uhh, made you uncomfortable or anything.” Your eyes met his and he swore they pierced his soul. “That wasn’t my intention, if I did.”

“What?” you asked, confusion now flooding into your face. After a breath, you started again: “Jeremy, you didn’t make me uncomfortable. I just uhh, I guess I like forgot something while we were playing. Just remembered it now. That’s all.”

“Oh.” Jeremy paused, unsure of what you were referencing. He was near positive it wasn’t a good memory. Something told him to speak up again, just to say something to fill the silence that surrounded the room. “Is there anything I can—”

“N-No, it’s fine. Do you want to race again, or maybe do something else? It’s up to you,” your eyes lost his and refocused on something else.

It was now that Jeremy realized that you didn’t move. You hadn’t moved. Usually, there was some shifting for comfort while playing a game and relaxing. But it had been several minutes, and there was no movement from you. It was like your body was a statue, rusted to the bean bag, unable to be moved. Something was very wrong. But if you didn’t want to discuss it right now, or frankly, ever, that was okay. And Jeremy accepted that.

He decided that maybe Mario Kart wasn’t the best idea, especially since he was so bad at it. And if him losing every race seem to only make the tension in the room swell, maybe it was good to just let the game go and choose something else; for both of your sakes. Of course, when it came to picking games that were fair for both of you, meaning probably no first-person shooters from middle school or anything, he decided to choose the great equalizer of all party games. Although it was a bad idea to pull it out, Jeremy thought that the best thing to do was switch over to a less popular part of one of the Nintendo franchises: Mario Party.

Of course, Friendship Ruiner 8000, as Michael liked to call it, included motion controls, which Jeremy was again, not good at. But he figured their janky-ness would even out the skill sets and make it more of a fair fight, even though Jeremy was sure he would be too caught up in you to actually play the game to his best ability. But trying was worth it. You were worth it.

“Do you want to maybe play Mario Party 8? It’s the only Mario Party I have, but I figure that the motion controls are so bad, it would be fun to just kinda laugh at,” Jeremy asked, his eyes flicking towards you. He was telling the truth about the motion controls. Yes, sometimes the controllers stop registering movement. It’s just frustrating for games like Skyward Sword but infinitely funny for games like Mario Party 8 or Wii Sports.

At last, your entire body shifted, like your soul was coming back into view, like everything had just been worked out, no strings attached. “Jeremy,” you started, a smile forming on your lips, “you trust me enough to be friends with me at the end of a Mario Party game?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow,” you stopped for a second before a full smile broke out on your face, even though discomfort still seemed to be at the forefront. A red crept into your face as you continued with your thought: “you must really think I’m a good person or something.”

“Well yeah,” Jeremy blushed in return before he rushed to change the game and console.

“Now it’s been a little bit since I’ve played Mario Party 8, so I’m warning you now, 2v2 games are going to be rough with me,” you said, hands pulling your sleeves down a little bit.

“That’s fine,” he reassured, “motion controls are weird anyway.”

You gave a chuckle as you continued sitting, getting more comfortable within the bean bag chair. “True.”

The game quickly started and both of you were met with less than ideal graphics—when did the Wii get such a pixelated screen?—and the odd mascot appeared before the two of you. His weird laugh came through the speakers, and more choices appeared on every screen. But suddenly, choices became easy. The type was of course 4 player, two being you, two being computers, 15 turns—to make it interesting, and any course except the city one that’s somehow a ripped off version of Monopoly. Finally, the character selection screen appeared, and Jeremy waited for you to pick your favorite original Mario character, just so he wouldn’t take something that would be claimed as rightfully yours, for the game, at least. Once you were done selecting, Jeremy picked his favorite franchise character, one that is overlooked by many people, specifically men. Jeremy Heere chose Princess Peach.

“Peach?” you asked, eyeing him.

Jeremy’s skin went aflame, he could feel the familiar tingling from his toes to his ears. His mind raced for justification, a quick answer, a solution, for why he chose Princess Peach. But you surprisingly beat him to it.

“She’s cool, Jeremy, I’m just surprised. Maybe I should’ve picked Mario or something.”

At the small comment and remark of romantic tension that was still lingering in the room, Jeremy turned every little bit redder and he swore that his heart skipped a beat. Was that you…flirting? With him? Jeremy had never seen that before, especially from you, and especially since you’d been strictly off-limits for so long. Maybe it was playful. It was a joke. It was something that he shouldn’t dwell on. You probably weren’t dwelling on it.

Somehow, the next few decisions happen, and Jeremy is able to form coherent enough sentences to vouch for the computers to be on Hard Mode, just to even the playing field between skill levels.

The game starts immediately, both computers pulling ahead and already placing traps on spaces that are supposed to be +3 coins. Both computers get an added 3 coins, for landing on the space, and both you and Jeremy make fun of the randomized way that both AI are playing the game.

The beginning of the game quickly switches to halfway through, and by now you’ve moved closer to Jeremy, bumping each other periodically, so far behind the computers it’s almost laughable. Each minigame is spent in a fit of laughter as both of you are clearly doing what the instructions are telling you to do, but the motion controls aren’t picking it up. It’s sweet, fun, and most importantly, relaxed. The now somewhat-cold-pizza is starting to be eaten, neither of you cares about how it tastes, but rather, what the moment means.

When the game finishes, Jeremy maintains a steady third, with you in second thanks to the bonus stars that are given out after the game is finished. Although both of you felt that you really didn’t do anything special, it was almost like the game took pity on you, and chose to give both of the actual players some bonus stars.

But between the two of you, the places don’t matter. It was fun to just play an interesting game with one another, despite the casual reputation it has among other groups. Each turn out of the 15 was exciting, fun, and laughable, considering how bad you two were doing. Instead of being put against each other, the two of you had an alliance; a method of teambuilding that couldn’t be fabricated by anyone. This was something special, and there was almost a bond formed that game, something that wouldn’t be easily forgotten or erased. And the room now had comfort practically written on the walls. Of course, it was a comfort with each other. The physical, more touchy, comfort wasn’t present in the room. There was still space between you two, and something still felt right about that. Maybe it was Jeremy’s mind consistently telling him to lay off on certain kinds of affection, especially since you two probably weren’t dating, and to keep his space.

The pizza was nearly gone, a final slice just sitting in the box, neither one wanting to touch it. The excitement of the game before had exited, and leaving in its place easy silence and exhaustion. It was late, and while Jeremy definitely wanted you to stay at his house for as long as you could, it was your choice to leave. He might be bummed out for a few seconds, but then would be honestly grateful for the time he got to spend with you, which was worth much more than feeling sorry for himself in his basement like usual. So he decided to leave an ambiguous question out of the equation of the night and instead decided on suggesting to watch a movie. It wouldn’t take much effort, and leaving halfway through would never be a crime, especially since Jeremy was not the person who wanted to take away that freedom. “Hey, do you maybe want to watch a movie? If you have to go, that’s fine too, but I thought I’d ask, like, just in case you didn’t or something.”

“Sure, Jeremy. That sounds nice after Toad totally kicking our asses.”

Jeremy let out a small chuckle before he flipped off the Wii and changed to the PS4. After cycling through the apps on the menu, he found Netflix and booted it up, the classic Netflix noise making its way into the basement. You sat back on the beanbag as the noise rang out, taking a more relaxed posture than you had the entire night. Although you seemed to be a little more at peace, Jeremy’s mind kept crawling back to the same thought: what even was tonight? The Mario and Peach comment made it seem like a date, but you two had never dated or established dating before, and the beginning of the night seemed only friendly. But now it felt so…date like. And of course, it wouldn’t be any date, no, this was the first date. First dates were uncomfortable, awkward, and kind of hard to swallow. They made even the most confident people cringe. They almost take the appearance of an interview for the rest of the relationship. And Jeremy didn’t want that. He’d rather keep the feeling in the room going and choosing something that wouldn’t make either of you uncomfortable. So he had to narrow his search: nothing with a sex scene or domestic violence of any kind. It would be too hard on you, he assumed, and it would crush him to make you upset on your possibly first date.

“First date?” you inquired, eyes scanning him.

Jeremy jumps up and nearly throws the controller, not realizing that his thoughts had been muttered aloud to the person sitting next to him. “Y-Yeah, because I thought well, the Mario and Peach comment, and I—”

“Jeremy,” you chuckle, smile breaking through and remaining. You finally make eye contact with him and Jeremy can feel the fear creeping up into his features. Wrong move, dumbass. “This isn’t our first date—” shit shit SHIT “—It’s like our fourth.”

For a second the world stops turning and Jeremy can feel his brain reeling back. How the heck was this a fourth date? Those other times he’d spent with you weren’t dates, were they? What counted, what didn’t count, what was in between? How did he miss something as big as this??? He didn’t really want to imply romance, even back in the moments, but this still felt like—

“Our first date I think I count as the time I came over here, even though that was a pretty bad circumstance. Our second was making breakfast, which again, bad circumstance, but still kind of a date. Our third was like four days ago, which, dancing together seems pretty romantically inclined, you know?”

Jeremy can only nod. He does know. He just didn’t think you had wanted—and still wanted—to date him. He’s been overthinking every interaction for over a year, each moment, each sleight of hand, everything that had happened before this very second. But for some reason, you explaining it like this, everything felt like it locked into place. The pieces are there, he just needed reassurance to fit them together.

“Therefore, fourth date,” you gesture around you, and Jeremy suddenly realizes that this was a date. The games, the lighting, the way you made jokes, the discomfort that had now morphed into comfortable bliss, it all felt like a date to him, and he had just wanted to respect your space.

“If that’s okay with you, of course,” you mentioned, hands quickly playing with your sleeves again, eyes darting downwards as if you’d done something wrong and made a terrible mistake. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, and I wasn’t going to if you weren’t thinking it but like you just said—”

“No, I agree with you. Completely. I’m just surprised I didn’t like…come up with it sooner.”

A small smile reappears on your face. “You’re valid, Jeremy.”

Instead of a movie, both of you settle on a light TV show, not really getting into the plot, but rather just relaxing in the dim light of the basement. With no one around, it feels like a lost peace that was recently found, like it was a treasure that couldn’t be seen by anyone else. The first episode ends quickly, another one just starting to play as the silence continues. There’s no awkwardness, no commitment, no extra things to be wary about and nothing that needed to be said. For that first episode or so, things felt like they were supposed to feel. Warm, simple, easy.

A thought occurred to Jeremy as the silence continued: he should be closer to you. This is a date, right? Did you want to hold hands or something? Did you want to be closer, and just didn’t know how to request things? Should he just go for it? No. A quick glance at you told him no. Your eyes were on the screen, captured by the show. Your eyes didn’t even match his for a second, meaning you were comfortable where you were and didn’t want, or frankly need, anything extra. Jeremy just being there was enough. His eyes refocused back onto the screen, getting into the show once more before your voice broke the silence between you two, and the quiet murmur of the show.

“Can I talk to you about something?” you ask, hands still fidgeting as you face him.

“Yeah, of course.”

“Because like, we’ve established this like relationship thing, I just…I wasn’t open in my last relationship, which was my fault and a major mistake.”

Jeremy held his breath but didn’t say anything. How could he? He didn’t know about what happened behind closed doors, wasn’t sure about the things that were said to you. In his mind, you didn’t get the chance to express your feelings or be open. You didn’t have the opportunity to have a good relationship, except maybe in the first little bit. But what did he know besides what you told him? How could even attempt to argue with you on something he legitimately knew nothing about? He wasn’t. At last, Jeremy nods, almost asking you to continue your thought.

“I, uhh, god where do I even start with this?” you breathe deeply before continuing, the breath shaky and uneven. “Jeremy, I can’t…do things yet. I can’t—I’m not—Fuck—I am so—” you took another breath—“I can’t be normal. I just…I can’t like…I have a really hard time with intimacy and romance and I just…I can’t even do simple things like hold your hand—not that you’re gross oh my god I’m so sorry that’s how it sounded—but like…my brain and body won’t let me do that for some reason. I don’t know what’s wrong, I’m so sorry, but I just…can’t be normal. I can’t fall asleep around you, I can’t hold your hand, I can’t be a good partner yet. I know you probably want to do that, and I just wanted to bring it up so you aren’t hurt or confused or something because I can’t do it. I just…I have baggage, Jeremy.”

Jeremy can hear tears starting to form, your voice thick. He knows what it means. He knows that you’re hurt, you’ve been hurt, and he knows that what your “not normal” is probably self-blame and trauma from what he could only catch glimpses of before. And while you’re here saying it’s your fault, Jeremy recognizes that it’s not yours, it could never be, but a particular someone’s, who should remain nameless.

“I know we’ve kissed before, but if we could just…hold off on that please for a little while, that would uhh, be great. And it’s a dumb thing to ask, and I’m sorry I have to ask it, and I know it’s a dumb me-thing, and—”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Jeremy turned towards you and paused the show as you take in a large breath and prepare for what he’s going to say. But he knows that this is something that’s hard to put into words, hard to handle. He knows this feeling, and he knows what should come after it. “It’s okay. We can wait. We can wait on everything for as long as it takes for you to feel comfortable. I understand that it’s hard, I mean, after the play junior year, I kind of had similar boundaries. But I dated someone who gave me patience. I’ve been forever grateful for that, so I want to do the same for you. You deserve that patience and to be comfortable in your own skin.”

“I—” you started, mouth open, eyes frantically blinking, “Thank you. I mean…wow, I really just…wasn’t expecting that at all.”

“You’re welcome.” Jeremy smiles and lets you have some time to take care of yourself, to calm down and really come back to reality a little bit. He offers his hand out if you want to grab it, but if not, he’s not hurt by it. He knows that sometimes you need physical space as well as emotional space, and wouldn’t be offended if you chose not to grab it.

“Can I ask you something weird?” the question drops into the room harder than a weight being dropped.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Can we like…can we just like function on consent for a little bit? Like we ask before just…touching, even if it’s something small, and can we uhh ask for consent for like kissing and stuff? It’s a weird and tiring request, I know, but…”

“Of course we can.”

“Thank you.”

Jeremy shakes his head before continuing the conversation. “You don’t need to thank me, they’re your boundaries and I want to respect them.”

A tear rolls down your cheek, and Jeremy’s eyes catch it, but doesn’t move to wipe it away. That would be cruel after what he’d just been told, and it feels like every night before is flooding back to him. Touching you before required consent. This was the same thing, the same circumstances, the same hurt. It was different, though. This was him having this conversation with you, this was the fear that he’d break them like they’d been thousands of times before. This was to prevent extra breakdowns that didn’t need to happen and to keep you safe, as much as he wanted to do that while you were in his arms. He’d rather not imprison you during the relationship. He’d rather let you roam free as the birds flying above.

“You have no idea what that means to me,” is finally whimpered out.

Neither of you touch one another, and Jeremy’s hand is discarded. You two finish another two episodes before you gather up your stuff and head up the stairs. Upon request, Jeremy doesn’t touch you. He doesn’t try. He doesn’t ask for consent, because something told him to let you have your space tonight: over text, spatially, over social media, and in any other capacity. You thank him for the night, with promises to text him the next morning, before leaving and heading out to the car that Jeremy’s dad knew too well. No kisses, no touching, but confusion about the Mario Kart incident before still unsolved. But that was another boundary he wanted you to have space on.

You had been wronged before, you’d been confused, cheated out of a life that was set for you that was supposed to be happy. Your ex-boyfriend had done wrong. Jeremy wanted to do it right.

[strengthrequireskindness]

OC shitpost

So, I notice a lot of u on here are into PJO/HOO/anything Rick Riordan writes.

@storm-broken-wings

@blackjacktheboss

@cindersart

@ananbeth

And that’s who I can think of off the top of my head. If you don’t read him you should, but I’m warning you that the second series (HOO) is slightly iffy.

While the man and his writing has some flaws, I’ll admit he made a damn good storyboard to work with. I have made several Riordanverse OCs, and would like to share them with you all.

First up, my anxious fire boy, Cal Kowalski! Note: I tried to do my research on Judaism and autism, but if I have offended anyone with this character, please let me know and I will change it!

Name: Caleb David “Cal” Kowalski

Hair: brown

Eyes: brown

Age-17

Height: six foot one, someone stop this boy from growing

Mother: Deborah Kowalski, fire chief for the Cleveland fire department. A force to be reckoned with and extremely inventive-once used a nearby lake to fuel the fire hose when there were no hydrants nearby

Godly Parent-Vulcan. A lot of people forget he’s also the god of fire, so when he saw Deborah risking her life to fight it, he was smitten. Completely fell for her when he admitted that he watched her work as a fire chief. Her response? “You’re a god, right? Stop watching people and buildings burn and start fucking helping.”

Sexuality: bi. Let’s be real, he’s admired Ichor and Jason more than once. Is completely devoted to his also bisexual girlfriend. More on her later.

Camp: Jupiter, Fifth Cohort. Has considered moving to Half-Blood, but dropped it after Octavian...oh right, there are people who haven’t read the books. Let’s leave it at that.

Nationality: Polish.

Religion: proudly (though not supremely devoutly) Jewish. Will make all the jokes about his religion. Was very confused when his mother told him his father was a god

Weapon: Roman infantry axe, or dolabra. Has heard all the woodcutter or lumberjack jokes. Has come up with a few of them

Personality: actual golden retriever, loyal, kind, hardworking, patient, and generous. Won’t fight unless it’s in self-defense, for training, or against monsters. Even then, does so reluctantly. Shy, clumsy, awkward introvert. Not great with public speaking, social interaction, or crowds, though he tries. Ride-or-die friend once you get to know him. Happiest when working at the forges or with his close friends. Autistic. Stims by lacing his fingers together or through card tricks, often says inappropriate things at the wrong time, tends to compartmentalize negative emotions, can talk about forging, metalworking, and firefighters for hours on end, needs systems and routines to function, thinks in very black and white terms. Goes nonverbal when angry, sad, or frustrated.

Powers/Abilities-

Geothermokinesis-can manipulate molten earth, phase change earth into lava and vice versa, cause magma to rise from deep within the earth, forming miniature volcanoes, turn nearby rock molten, and telekinetically project blasts of lava, magma, or molten earth at targets

Weaknesses-socially awkward, gullible, black and white thinking, tends to think badly of himself, survivors guilt, lava he creates can spread and cause more damage if left unattended, can be harmed by his own powers, powers are linked to emotional state so he has to keep his temper or things start to melt

History

-Fire chief mom with large extended family

-mom met Vulcan one night while firefighting, it was rocky at first but after some talking things through and some kissing they made it work

-cal was born that August

-when Cal was three, tragedy struck

-his mother was diagnosed with mesothelioma

-they suspected it was from a fire in a chemical factory shed fought

-the firefighters she was chief of helped raise Cal while his mother underwent treatment,as did his extended family

-He grew up shy and quiet, the opposite of his mother but very much like his father, had difficulty reading, and could never pay attention that well if he didn’t like something

-It took a few years, several theories (some well meaning, some extremely inappropriate, some both) and an official diagnosis at the age of seven before the people taking care of him realized he was autistic, dyslexic, and had ADHD, and that they had to respect that instead of treating him like a normal kid

-some of his extended family thought that meant he wasn’t normal

-he doesn’t talk to them anymore

-the firemen and ninety percent of his family were totally fine with it, even when other things started to happen

-they found him in the courtyard at age ten, a miniature volcano spouting lava into the air and him frantically trying to turn it off

-the Mist shielded them from seeing the entire thing, but they still sat him down and had a Talk about playing with fire

-but Cal knew what happened

-At age twelve, his mother took a sudden turn for the worse. When he went to see her with Hector and Brandon, two firefighters, he was turned away by a doctor that did not look at all like a doctor to him

-The Doctor insults him, only to be challenged by Hector, who can see through the Mist

-He tells Cal to run and see his mom before punching the doctor square in the face

-Cal makes it to his moms room, only to find her struggling and squirming as a monster in a lab coat shoves a pillow onto her face

-Terrified but furious, he scares off the monster with a blast of lava from the ground, which also sets the room on fire

-Making it out of the room, he turns to his mom, only for her to tell him that he’s the son of a god

-He predictably freaks the fuck out, running with her to where he last saw the firefighters

-Only to find that Darnell is dead and Hector is losing the fight against something that looks way too much like the estrie he’s read about once in the Sefer Hasidim

-Seeing Cal, Hector grins with bloody teeth before driving a fire extinguisher into the things head

-it collapses, but before it can get up again the building groans as the fire spreads

-They flee the hospital, forced to leave Darnell behind as the alukah pursues them

-When they get back to the house, everyone is in an uproar. Why is Deborah back, why is Hector’s mouth bleeding, where the hell is Darnell

-While everyone is arguing and taking care of Deborah, Hector and Cal’s aunt Aviva take him into Cal’s room

-He and Aviva confirm what Cal’s mom said, also telling him about the existence of Camp Jupiter. It turns out he is a former legionnaire, having come to Cleveland two years before Cal was born to look after him at Deborah’s request. Aviva can just see through the mist, though Deborah confided in her in case she died before she could do so herself.

-They don’t have much time. After what Cal did at the hospital, his aura is going to attract every monster from here to Columbus.

-He gives him a weird-looking axe, explaining that this dolabra was once his when he was a legionary but now he wants Cal to have it

-They all share a hug, with Hector telling him that everyone in the house has his back

-There’s a knock on the door, revealing the monster from earlier, now disguised as a human social worker via the Mist

-Uses a bunch of ableist language to explain why they should give Cal to him

-No one in the house buys his bullshit, even when he appears human

-The firefighters don’t like the government in general because they offered no workers comp for the cancer their chief got from the factory, and they’ve watched her fight against something that the government was supposed to help her with, the government draining her money all the while. But now this jackass is insulting their kid.

-The extended family are unwilling to give him up, and especially not to a man who insults and belittles him

-monster gets fed up, says that if cal stays here he’ll keep coming for him until he gets what he wants

-cue the entire family telling him to get bent

-Aviva tells Hector to take Cal and go, that she’ll explain to them why and that they all love him

-Roadtrip to California with monsters on their tail

-the estrie catches up to them in Oakland, flanked by its monster buddy, which Cal now knows is a telekhine

-it’s pissed at cal because he’s a demigod and because his father took over their forges

-they fight, and Cal uses the dolabra and kills the telekhine, burnt from his earlier encounter with it

-he’s extremely grossed out by this

-Hector intercepts the estrie before it can get to Cal and fights the estrie, but he’s out of practice and is fatally injured

-Cal watches him die and is furious, pleading to know why the estrie did it

-the estrie just wants to kill a Jewish human, it doesn’t particularly care that he’s a demigod. Hector was in the way.

-Using his powers intentionally for the first time, Cal opens up a volcanic fissure under the estrie and sends her down into the magma

-He then takes Hector to the camp tunnel before passing out

-He’s found there by Gwen, who stands for him

-Some time after, she pulls him aside and tells him that she read in the local paper (all praetors and centurions read the outside paper to get the news for the camp, fight me) that there was a suspected terrorist attack in Ohio around the time Cal came in

-He breaks down and tells her it’s his house, there are no confirmed survivors except for three firemen and his mother

-Alex comes along a month later, and they dance around each other for a while before making it official

Trivia

-he writes letters to his mother whenever he can

-Darnell taught him how to play cards and do card tricks, both for fun and as a stim if needed, he burns a card every year on the day he died

-he definitely had a thing for Jason before he started dating Alex. It never went anywhere though.

-he makes the menorah for the camp-wide Hanukkah celebration (cmon you’re telling me everyone at CJ is Christian or atheist or agnostic? Cmon man)

-he imagines his dolabra is a fire axe when he’s fighting monsters

-his aunt taught him to cook Polish cuisine, among other things, and his kotlet schabowy is to die for, but he’s recently branched out into Chinese food due to his girlfriend’s complaints about how the restaurant chains near them only serve shitty Chinese food

-can jump rope like a boss due to many hours with his younger cousins

-terrified of heights

-that’s all I’ve got so far! If you guys have any other questions about him, send me an ask!

[astrogeoguy]

Walking the Dog on Moonless Nights, Evening Mars and Pretty Pre-dawn Planets!

(Above: This detailed star chart of the area around Canis Major, the Big Dog, shows the main stars and deep sky objects (labelled yellow symbols) in the constellation. The southern sky is shown for early March at 7 pm local time.)

Hello, Stargazers!

Here are your Astronomy Skylights for the week of March 3rd, 2019 by Chris Vaughan. Feel free to pass this along to your friends and send me your comments, questions, and suggested topics. I repost these emails with photos at http://astrogeoguy.tumblr.com/ where all the old editions are archived. You can also follow me on Twitter as @astrogeoguy! Unless otherwise noted, all times are Eastern Time. Please click this MailChimp link to subscribe to these emails. If you are a teacher or group leader interested joining me on a guided field trip to York University’s Allan I. Carswell Observatory or the David Dunlap Observatory, visit www.astrogeo.ca.

I can bring my Digital Starlab inflatable planetarium to your school or other daytime or evening event, visit DiscoveryPlanitarium.com and request me. We’ll tour the Universe together!

Public Astro-Events

Taking advantage of dark moonless evening skies this week, astronomers with the RASC Toronto Centre will gather for dark sky stargazing at Long Sault Conservation Area, northeast of Oshawa on (only) the first clear evening (Monday to Thursday) this week. You don’t need to be a RASC member, or own any equipment, to join them. Check here for details and watch the banner on their homepage or their Facebook page for the GO or NO-GO decision around 5 pm each day. 

Every Monday evening, York University’s Allan I. Carswell Observatory runs an online star party - broadcasting views from four telescopes/cameras, answering viewer questions, and taking requests! Details are here. On Wednesday nights they offer free public viewing through their rooftop telescopes. If it’s cloudy, the astronomers give tours and presentations. Details are here. 

On Thursday, March 7 at 8 pm in the Legion Hall in Waterdown, the RASC – Hamilton Centre will present a free public talk by Professor Michael Fich, University of Waterloo entitled New Frontiers in Observational Cosmology. Details are here. 

On Thursday, March 7, starting at 8 pm, U of T’s AstroTour will present a free talk entitled Kepler’s Story: How one Telescope Changed Everything we Know about Exoplanets. It will be followed by observing (weather permitting) and their planetarium show. Details are here. 

Eastern GTA sky watchers are invited to join the RASC Toronto Centre and Durham Skies for solar observing and stargazing at the edge of Lake Ontario in Millennium Square in Pickering on Friday evening, March 8, from 6 pm to 11 pm. Details are here. Before heading out, check the RASCTC home page for a Go/No-Go call in case it's too cloudy to observe. The rain date is Saturday. 

On Friday, March 8 at 7:30 pm in the Hamilton Spectator Building in Hamilton, the Hamilton local astronomers will present a free public talk entitled A Step Back, and a Look Up. Details are here. 

If it’s sunny on Saturday morning, March 9 from 10 am to noon, astronomers from the RASC Toronto Centre will be setting up outside the main doors of the Ontario Science Centre for Solar Observing. Come and see the Sun in detail through special equipment designed to view it safely. This is a free event (details here), but parking and admission fees inside the Science Centre will still apply. Check the RASC Toronto Centre website or their Facebook page for the Go or No-Go notification. 

Saturday, March 9 marks the opening of a six-month exhibition at the Aga Khan Museum entitled The Moon: A Voyage through Time. The museum will feature installations of art, culture, history, and science pertaining to the moon. A public talk, The Moon: Mirror of Faith, Science, and the Arts will be delivered by Dr. Christiane Gruber on Saturday at 2:00pm. Details are here. 

On Saturday, March 9 from 6 to 8 pm, weather permitting, astronomers from RASC Toronto Centre will carry out free public evening stargazing on the Teluscape at the Ontario Science Centre. Details are here. 

Evening Zodiacal Light

For about half an hour after dusk between today and the new moon on March 6, look west-southwest for a broad wedge of faint light rising from the horizon and centered on the ecliptic. This is the zodiacal light - reflected sunlight from interplanetary particles of matter concentrated in the plane of the solar system. The glow will be centred on the horizon directly below Mars. Try to observe from a location without light pollution, and don't confuse the zodiacal light with the brighter Milky Way to the northwest. I posted an image of it here. 

(Above: Canis Major is one of two dog constellations that accompany Orion in the winter sky, as shown here at 7 pm in early March. The Little Dog, Canis Minor is the “stick-like” constellation at top left. Perhaps they are chasing Lepus, the Rabbit. The winter Milky Way runs vertically, just to the east (left side) of Canis Major.)

Walking the Big Dog

The night sky’s brightest star Sirius is sure to catch your eye in the evening sky this time of the year. Once the sky darkens at around 8:30 pm local time, Sirius will be sitting a third of the way up the southern sky, to the lower left of Orion (the Hunter). During the rest of the evening, Sirius will slowly descend into the southwestern sky and set just after midnight local time. 

Sirius name means “searing” or “scorching” in Greek. It’s also commonly known as the Dog Star because it is the brightest star in Canis Major (the Big Dog). To my eyes, the constellation genuinely resembles a wiener dog! Sirius sparkles at the dog’s collar. The pup’s head is formed by several medium-bright stars to Sirius’ upper left, but those are near the limit of visibility in urban skies. Nose to tail, the constellation measures about 19°, or two fist diameters held at arm’s length. He’s about one fist from ears to paws. The rest of the dog’s body, composed of more easily visible stars, extends to the lower left (southeast) of Sirius. The dog is rearing up and facing west, as if he is begging Orion for a treat. 

About a fist’s diameter below Sirius is the bright star Wezen, which marks the dog’s “bottom”. Wezen, Arabic for “weight” is a rare, massive yellow supergiant star. One day it will explode in a supernova. The tip of the dog’s tail, marked by a modest star named Aludra, is found 4° (four finger widths) to the lower left of Wezen. Four degrees to the lower right of Wezen, a bright star named Adhara represents the dog’s rear legs. (Some representations include two dimmer stars for the rear paws.) Adhara is a hot blue giant star with a surface temperature of a whopping 21,000 K located about 34 light-years from the sun. It’s the brightest star in the sky when viewed in ultraviolet light, and it, too, is on the way to a supernova death. 

The dog’s front legs are formed by the bright star Mirzam, which is located about a palm’s width to the lower right of Sirius. Mirzam, which means “the Herald” because it rises just before Sirius, is 60 times more luminous than Sirius. If it were located where Sirius is, instead of 500 light-years away, it would appear 15 times brighter than Venus! 

In the heart of Canis Major, about four finger widths below Sirius, is a bright little cluster of stars designated Messier 41, sometimes called the Little Beehive Cluster. Binoculars should show it easily. The cluster, which is about 2300 light-years away, consists of several brighter golden stars and numerous fainter ones. Another nice cluster sits about 2.5 finger widths to the upper left of Wezen. Scan around that area of sky with your binoculars – the winter Milky Way has populated Canis Major with many treats. 

Canis Major is only one of Orion’s two hunting companions. The other one, Canis Minor (the Smaller Dog), sits 30° (three fist diameters) to Orion’s left. This constellation is composed of only two stars - very bright white Procyon and dimmer Gomeisa, which sits about four finger widths to Procyon’s upper right. Ironically, the constellation resembles a stick more than a dog! The two dogs might well be hunting Lepus (the Rabbit), a constellation of modest stars that sits directly below Orion. 

(Above: In this over-exposed image of the star Sirius, its white dwarf companion, the Pup, or the Flea, is the speck at the lower left.)

Sirius is so bright because it is about 25 times more luminous than our Sun, and only a mere 8.6 light-years away from Earth. Furthermore, it is heading towards us, and will brighten over the next millennia! Sirius has a tiny companion star, designated Sirius B, that some astronomers call the Pup. I prefer to call it the Flea! 

Sirius is famous for exhibiting flashes of intense colour as it twinkles. This is because northern hemisphere observers usually see the star positioned low in the sky, so its very bright starlight is passing through a thicker blanket of air. The pockets of turbulence in our atmosphere that makes stars twinkle also work like tiny refracting prisms – splitting apart Sirius’ white starlight and randomly sending different colours (wavelengths) to our eyes. 

The ancient Egyptians linked their calendar to the arrival of Sirius in the pre-dawn sky because it signaled the onset of the Nile floods around the beginning of summer. In China, Sirius is called Tiān Láng天狼, aka “the Celestial Wolf”. Many First Nations cultures saw a dog’s shape in these stars and called Sirius the Moon Dog Star (Inuit), the Wolf Star (Pawnee), and the Coyote Star. On the next clear evening, have a look at our bright neighbour! I’ll post sky charts and pictures here. 

The Moon and Planets

The moon will start the week as a slim, old crescent sitting low in the southeastern sky before sunrise. Even though New Moon won’t occur until Wednesday morning, the shallow angle of the moon’s orbit this time of year will cause the moon to rise almost beside the sun, hiding it from view for several days. 

The moon will return to view as a young, slim crescent sitting low over the western horizon on Thursday evening right after sunset. At the same time, sharp eyes might catch Mercury sitting 8.5 degrees to the right of the moon. The best time to look for Mercury will be around 7 pm local time. The moon will complete the week by waxing fuller daily and climbing higher – landing a fist’s diameter below Mars on Sunday evening.

(Above: Mercury will complete its best appearance of 2019 for northern hemisphere observers this week. Look for it low in the west after sunset, but a little lower every day. Meanwhile, reddish Mars at top left, continues to shine brightly every evening until it sets before midnight. Dim Uranus is below Mars. The sky is shown for 6:45 pm local time on Sunday, March 3.) 

Speaking of Mercury, during the first half of this week, the normally elusive planet will continue to be easily visible in a darkening western evening sky while it descends toward the sun. The optimal viewing times will fall between 6:45 and 7:15 pm local time. If you view Mercury in your small telescope, the planet will exhibit a waning half-illuminated disk. Find a viewing spot where the western horizon is low and free of foreground obstructions. Once the sun has fully set, sweep the sky with binoculars - or your own sharp eyeballs – looking for a medium bright, unmoving point of light. 

The other easy evening planet to see this week will be Mars. When the sky begins to darken, Mars will appear as a medium-bright, reddish pinpoint of light about halfway up the western sky. The Red Planet will set at about 11:15 pm local time. Mars has been slowly shrinking in size and brightness as we increase our distance from it little-by-little. 

The much dimmer, blue-green planet Uranus is also in the western early evening sky. It can be identified by aiming binoculars about 1.6 finger widths above the modestly bright star named Torcular (or Omega Piscium). Look for Uranus right after dark - this week the distant ice giant planet will set at around 10 pm local time.

(Above: Three bright planets will parade across the eastern pre-dawn sky during the coming weeks. Bright Jupiter will rise first, followed by dimmer Saturn, and then Venus, the brightest of all. Venus’ orbit, red curve, is carrying it downward and east, toward the sun. The sky is shown for 6 am local time in early March, 2019.) 

Three spectacular bright planets – Jupiter, Saturn, and Venus, will all continue to appear low in the eastern morning sky this week. Bright Jupiter will rise first, at about 2:30 am local time. By 7 am local time, it will be a beacon in the southern sky. Yellowish Saturn, which is twice as far away as Jupiter, is correspondingly dimmer. The ringed planet will rise at about 4:15 am local time and will be lost in the twilight by 7 am. Our sister planet Venus is only one-fifth as far from Earth as Jupiter. Venus’ blazing brilliance will grace the southeastern dawn sky after 5 am local time, and remain in view until sunrise. In a telescope, Venus will exhibit a gibbous (more than half-illuminated) phase. 

Dark Night Delights

If you missed last week’s write-up about grabbing your binoculars and telescopes and exploring the darker sky for deep sky treasures, I posted some beautiful images and sky charts here. This week will be just as good!

Keep looking up, and enjoy the sky when you do. I love questions and requests - so, send me some!

[dumbledore-stole-my-sandwich]

Talking too long over text before meeting up?

Hello all.

I see myself repeating the same scenario over and over again.

I match with someone on an app or online. We do the usual initial introduction

Then the more in-depth questions come. This goes back and forth over a few days. We talk about interests hobbies beliefs (I'm a Christian) Things they Enjoy

By this point it's maybe 4 or 5 days worth of messaging back and forth. At this stage once I feel like we have got to know each other I ask them out to catch up in person.

When finally seeing them in person I feel like there's nothing more to talk about and conversation becomes kind of flat.

How does everyone go about communication before meeting in person?

Thanks!

submitted by /u/spazzo246 [link] [comments] from Online Dating https://ift.tt/3o3KJAI

[momscookingthebooks]

Release Blitz

Title: Gaslight

Series: Crossbreed #4

Author: Dannika Dark

Genre: Paranormal

Publication Date: February 20, 2018

Release Blitz Tour hosted by Enchantress Design and Promo

@DannikaDark #Gaslight, #CrossbreedSeries, #ReleaseDay, #ReleaseDayBlitz, #PNR, #EnchantressDesignAndPromo

Synopsis:

Raven Black returns in another heart-pounding installment of the USA Today bestselling Crossbreed series. Vampire trafficking is a sinister business, and nobody knows that better than Keystone. After Raven discovers hidden clues in a cold case, the group sets a trap in hopes of catching an elusive criminal. But when the plan backfires, Raven’s world is thrown into chaos, and Christian’s loyalty is put to the ultimate test. Buried secrets come to light, and the only thing keeping Raven grounded is her insatiable thirst for vengeance. The stakes are high as they travel to a place where the landscapes are as treacherous as the immortals who live there. This time, there’s no room for mistakes. Will Raven have the courage to tame the violence in her heart before it swallows her whole?

Gaslight Book Link: 

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/36191619-gaslight

iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/gaslight/id1294312210?mt=11

Amazon Paperback: http://amzn.to/2GiyBTB

B&N (Audiobook): http://bit.ly/BNAudioGaslightDD

Audio Book Links: 

Tantor: https://tantor.com/gaslight-dannika-dark.html

Audiobook Release: Mar 20, 2018

Series Information

Amazon: http://amzn.to/2Cs0syp

Keystone Book 1 Links:

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/29079130-keystone

Kindle: http://amzn.to/2CfFQuD

Amazon Paperback: http://amzn.to/2jGHDOZ

iBooks: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/id1148364723

B&N: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/keystone-dannika-dark/1125127968?ean=2940157523480

Kobo: http://bit.ly/KeystoneDDKobo

Audio Book Links: Audible: http://amzn.to/2jhYIli Tantor: https://tantor.com/keystone-dannika-dark.html

Ravenheart Book 2 Links: Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/32950414-ravenheart

Amazon: http://amzn.to/2rRKQj6

iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/id1198012573

B&N: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/ravenheart-dannika-dark/1126058701?ean=2940157251543 KOBO: http://bit.ly/RavenheartDDKobo

Audiobook Links: Amazon: http://amzn.to/2sbPyrh Tantor: https://tantor.com/ravenheart-dannika-dark.html

Deathtrap Book 3 Links: Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/35118029-deathtrap

Kindle: http://amzn.to/2E2JGrA

Amazon Paperback: http://amzn.to/2lgYElg Nook: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/deathtrap-dannika-dark/1126656071?ean=2940158822254

B&N: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/deathtrap-dannika-dark/1126656071?ean=9781547225286

iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/deathtrap/id1239240625

Kobo: http://bit.ly/DeathtrapDDKobo

Tantor: https://tantor.com/deathtrap-dannika-dark.html

Audible: http://amzn.to/2xD6wCN

Author’s Bio: Dannika Dark is the USA Today Bestselling Author of Urban Fantasy Romance and Paranormal Romance. Her books have sold more than 1 million copies worldwide, and she is a 2016 Audie Awards finalist.

Dannika was born on a military base in the U.S. and spent her youth traveling abroad. She developed an interest writing poetry and song lyrics early on, eventually gravitating toward a job that involved writing procedural training documentation. In her spare time, she wrote novels before she decided to pursue a career in publishing.

In addition to writing about supernatural worlds, Dannika is passionate about graphic design and creates all her own covers and series art. When not writing, she enjoys indie music, movies, reading, Tex-Mex, strawberry daiquiris, heaps of chocolate, and unleashing her dark side.

All of her published books to date are written in the same universe and contain material suitable for adults only.

"For me, writing is all about blending genres to break out of the confines of predictability, but it's what I love to do." ~ Danni

Author Links:

Website/Blog:  http://www.dannikadark.blogspot.com

Twitter: https://twitter.com/DannikaDark

FB Author Page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Dannika-Dark-official/148451945238628?ref=ts&fref=ts

Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5181752.Dannika_Dark

Newsletter: http://dannikadark.us5.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=af591baf596a907e8d46215bb&id=8bdf0521db

[plsjcmes-blog]

my favorite gif to ever exist. hello angels ! i’m antonea and i’m super stoked to be here ! i’m gonna try and keep this as short as possible, but anyways a lil abt me is that i’m Ross Butler Trash ( he can shoulder shimmy on me @ any time ), i spend way too much time in photoshop, and i don’t answer the phone. any who, underneath the cut is all you need to know about me bby james !

james is originally from stockholm, sweden, more accurately, the little old town of galma stan! she is a swede through and through, but grew up in copenhagen from the age of six months to ten years old. she is the biological daughter of her father jeremiah and an unnamed surrogate, and is the adoptive daughter of her father christian. jeremiah is originally from the states, but moved to sweden on a work visa and this is where he met christian. jeremiah’s visa was extended about a year into their relationship, and they worked hard and saved up until they were able to afford having a surrogate. james was born shortly after their third anniversary, and after her tenth birthday is when james and christian gained their us citizenship.

she has three younger siblings: sebastian and serena, who are sixteen and fraternal twins, and the youngest, vivienne, who is thirteen. the twins are biologically christian’s and vivienne is biologically jeremiah’s.

as far as attending prince goes, it wasn’t exactly her first choice but it wasn’t her last choice either. she was going to go to a school in her home state, but was offered a volleyball scholarship at prince, so that ultimately finalized her decision. she’s always been one to have her hand in all of the cookie jars, which explains why she’s a double major in english and anthropology. in a sense, this is technically james’ fifth year as she could have graduated last year, but due to her double majoring, it adding on another year, so she graduates in the spring!

james is the kind of girl who likes to go with the flow, and do her own thing. being a student-athlete already consumes most of her time, so she tries to squeeze in having a social life as much as possible. she’s basically the girl who looks like a loner during the week but once she weekend hits then you might catch her throwing back shots like it’s nobody’s business.

she’s really nice, and sometimes like the girl next door at times. she’s really nice, will give you the shirt off her back even if it’s the last shirt that she owns. she hardly ever talks badly about someone, and if she does, then that person must have really done something to make her mad. she’s shy at times, and she can be oblivious to some things ( like flirting, it’s terrible ) and she can turn as red as a tomato at any time. it’s actually kind of funny to see, since is starts at the tips of her ears.

this story is quite long, but i’m going to give u the summarized version or eLSE we’d literally be watching a full episode of scooby doo. girl meets girl. james met a girl during her freshman year named liana ( whom i will not request as a wanted connection bc she’s Gross and i don’t want anyone to feel like they have to play someone Gross/she’s basically an npc ), but any who, liana was james’ first girlfriend and basically her first serious relationship. liana was nice and charismatic when they first met, things were great. as their relationship continued, about a year into it, liana turned really gross and was basically the worst girlfriend on the plant. ofc, on top of school and volleyball james also worked, but liana didn’t. liana had a habit of using james whenever they went out shopping, and she’d kinda deliberately get the most stuff and then spring the “omg, i left my wallet home!!” thing on james and being the sweetheart that she is, she’d buy her stuff bc well, that’s her girlfriend.   

anyways, her girlfriend also didn’t like it whenever james mentioned that she found men attractive. liana is lesbian, but james is openly and proudly bisexual. so, whenever james would mention something even as minor as looking through a magazine and going “ryan reynolds looks so good blah blah” liana wouldn’t talk to her for like a week. she also didn’t like when james would go to hang out with guys ( girls as well, but mostly guys ) and would pitch a fit or mope around until  james finally decided that she would just stay home. after about two years of dating, james and liana finALLY broke up when james discovered that liana was cheating with a girl that she knew from back home, and thus concludes the story of james & liana.

that basically brings up to where we are now, with james not really being the one to want anything that’s long-term. she’s not looking for a relationship and she’s terrible at flirting, so we’ll see how this goes lmfao. if something happens, then she’s not going to try and ruin it before it gets good, but she’s also not going to cry if something romantic doesn’t happen.

quick facts and then i’m almost done i swEAR:

back home she has a pomsky named dexter!

she doesn’t brush her hair sometimes because sometimes ( all the time ) she’s late

when she’s not studying or at practice, she works at phoenix diner

she hates the smell of lemon and will fight anyone who uses lemon pledge

she’s a huge nerd for the flash

and that’s everything! you can check out some connections here, her statistics page here, and since i’m extra, her pinterest is linked here! i can’t wait to plot with all of you and to get to know both you and your muse! <3

[musicgoon]

Chart Check: This Week’s Top 12

The Top Christian Songs, Pop Songs, Albums, and Movies.

I keep tabs on the music and movie charts so we can see what’s trending in Christianity and culture. Catch the Chart Check every Saturday to learn from the leaders and see where we’re heading next.

Be sure to click on the links to watch the music videos, listen to the complete albums, and watch the movie trailers on YouTube. I can’t stop listening to Honne. 

Billboard Hot 100: The week of April 13, 2019

This week’s most popular songs across all genres, ranked by radio airplay audience impressions, as measured by Nielsen Music, sales data as compiled by Nielsen Music, and streaming activity data provided by online music sources.

Old Town Road - Lil Nas X

Sunflower (Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse) - Post Malone & Swae Lee

7 Rings - Ariana Grande

Billboard Top 200: The week of April 13, 2019

The Billboard 200 chart ranks the most popular albums of the week, as compiled by Nielsen Music, based on multi-metric consumption (blending traditional album sales, track equivalent albums, and streaming equivalent albums).

When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? - Billie Eilish

Victory Lap - Nipsey Hussle

Thank U, Next - Ariana Grande

Billboard Hot Christian Songs: The week of April 13, 2019

This week’s most popular Christian songs, ranked by radio airplay audience impressions as measured by Nielsen Music, sales data as compiled by Nielsen Music and streaming activity data provided by online music sources.

You Say - Lauren Daigle

God Only Knows - for KING & COUNTRY

Who You Say I Am - Hillsong Worship

Box Office Mojo Weekly Box Office: April 5 - April 11, 2019

Weekly box office charts 7-day results (Friday through Thursday).

Shazam!

Pet Sematary

Dumbo

[an-oath]

S L E E P I N G // in.

It’s 2019. Yay? If I was still in school this would be the week where I would struggle with readjusting to the new year. The new numbers on the page. No more 8. 9 now.  The little scribbles and the aftermath of Christmas would remind me that yet another year has flown by. We celebrate this great spin around by having parties, staying up till midnight and celebrating the day. Only to find ourselves, the next morning, confused, tired and frankly, a little hyped up about a million questions.  The new year. 2019. I’m not entering this year on an apathetic note. Honestly, I’m not. Actually, I’m feeling a little concerned. The fact that 2017 2018 has come and gone so quickly makes me feel a little foggy. What did I do last year?  If you know me, you know the major thing I struggle with is robotic rhythm. Always in the same flow. Always the same week. Same month. Same schedule. It actual hurts me to know what my day will look like in the next 3, 4, 5 weeks even. Now, there are little things that change and the little things is what makes me smile and maybe, just maybe, this is adulthood telling me to bear down and get over it. This is life. Work. Sleep. Rinse. Repeat.  But walking into 2019 has me feeling a lot like there’s something I’m missing. My work schedule has been altered a great deal aboutttttt 6 months ago. Once upon a time, I would be scheduled to be at work bright eyed and bushy tailed at 9AM pronto. I would leave at 4:30PM and be home before 5PM. Such a simple, sweet life. Now...now. Now, I have some days that have been moved around and in order to be able to take Fridays off (WORTH IT!) I’m the first one in the offices...at 7:30AM. I used to (u s e d  t o) take advantage of going to the gym in the mornings, get in a great God time, put my outfits together all cute. Now, I struggggggglllleeee. Most of the time I’m not rolling into bed until 11PM or 12AM (on a good day) so that alarm clock becomes my nemesis and more often than not 7:30AM turns into 7:36AM or 7:40AM.  Am I going to sweat over a few measly minutes? Do I have a boss breathing down my neck with questions? No. No, I don’t. Nobody’s even here to see it.  ...but, it bothers me so much. I wish I could be that girl that can wake up with 4 hours of sleep and look amazing, feel amazing, be amazing. I’m not that girl. I don’t have any intentions of ever being that girl. So, I wake up and watch my daunting schedule and my ever present lateness loom over me with the feeling that follows...will I ever be better than this? Will I ever be able to go to bed for 9:30PM? Or set some boundaries in my life and restart this year on an organized note? Will I ever save enough to do what I want to do this year? Will I be able to study, learn, read, absorb everything I’ll receive this year? Will this year be another year of just sleeping in and missing all the great things that wake up before the sun? Honestly, I stinking hope so. I don’t know what I want this year to look like. I’m opposed to resolutions because I hate failing. So, I just call it wishful thinking.  2 - 0 - 1 - 9. It has to be different, right? Something has to change? or am I doomed to a life of constant for another 365? I hope not. There’s always that feeling after you’ve pushed snooze about 5 times. The first time, you’ve prepared for it. You set your alarm to allow for one solid snooze...but the other 4 times. Those were unintentional. Sometimes, they were even unconscious, but they still happened.  I still missed that quiet time, that shower, that cute outfit day.  I frantically whip my perfect bedding away from me, apologizing for the betrayal, and yank a shirt from the drawer and pants from the floor. Grab my dry shampoo (unspoken hero) and fly out with -4 minutes to spare.  This was 2018 for me. Not just physically though. I struggled feeling like I walked through a year of dry shampoo days and caffeine induced mornings.  I’m so grateful that my God is not a vengeful deity but a loving Father. It’s the drive to work and the worship in my car that makes me feel even just a few more minutes closer to Him that keeps me sane but then morning turns to night and January to December and I still... sleep in. I know God’s doing a great work in my life because I’m seeing a lot of garbage that I want to be rid of. I also know that it’s going to take some doing.  A lot less Netflix and some solid concrete slab boundaries to keep my heart, my Spirit and my body from sleeping in. I don’t know what to hope for this year. I don’t want to waste a year and hope for nothing. I also don’t want another year of disappointment. I just want a year of wishful thinking, hopeful waiting and patient learning. 

The strive. The year of the strive.  Strive to do better. Be better.  Get more done. Love harder. Talk less. Listen louder. Forgive faster. I went to this fundraiser with a friend of mine a few months ago and they were holding a ballot auction. So, it’s simple. You buy the ballots and the proceeds go to the fundraiser. You then put your ballots in for the item that you want. At the end of the fundraiser, they pull a name and if you win they call you. Easy as pie.  So, we went to this and I brought some money to give and when I received the ballots I was pretty excited for what I saw in front of me. There was a row of items all shiny and new and pretty and most of them would have appealed to me if it wasn’t for the 3 perfect little boxes in the front row. Necklaces. They were the prettiest, daintiest little things I’ve ever seen. A work of art on a chain. I knew instantly what I was looking at. They were little drops of resin on the end of a chain with seeds in them. The first box was a mustard seed. As a good Christian girl, I recognized that seed and the meaning behind it and smiled. The second box was a sunflower seed. Loved it. The third, the most important box was a dandelion seed. Wanted it. Needed it. And just like that all 40 ballots I had went into those three little boxes.  I was shocked when a week, then two, then three went by without even a call. I even talked to my friend and she hadn’t heard that I had won anything so I forgot about those necklaces and those ballots and moved on. Then, yesterday, I wasn’t feeling good. I had a head cold and slept the majority of the day (ironically...).  I was sitting in my couch thinking all of these thoughts when surprisingly my phone snapped me out of it.  It was the lady that makes the necklaces. I had won. 2 of them. The sunflower...and the dandelion. I don’t know what your childhood looked like as a kid but mine was filled with a lot of great moments. I grew up beside a mini farm and had the greatest times. One of my favourite moments was when my neighbours planted a sunflower garden almost at the edge of our property. I could wake up every morning and see them in full bloom. I was always amazed at how tall they would be. I never knew flowers could grow like that.  And Dandelions... They were always around. I never knew why people hated them so much. They were yellow and full and if you had a spare hour you could link them together to make a crown. Dandelions were my staple art piece as a child. If they weren’t yellow and blooming they were white and fluffy. I loved blowing the seeds away and wishing on them. Wishing. For greatness. For the best. Always the best. Now as an adult, I remember those little moments. Standing in awe of the sunflower over my head and smiling as the fluffy little Dandelion seeds kissed my cheek farewell. Those two little flowers. Those seeds. Those memories helped me yesterday to anchor on to what I want for this year.  I wonder if God does that with me. Throws all His ballots in on me and hopes that He wins. Everyday, I want Him too but I know sometimes there’s something that pulls me away. My feelings. My attitudes. My heartbreaks. Things... I want to be more myself. I want to see those moments and remember them. I don’t want to have another 2018 where everything’s happening around me and I’m rushing to catch up. I want to be in the flow of it. The moment of it. Enjoy it.  You know? Anyways. I get the necklaces on Friday and I can’t wait. (ps. if you want to check her store out go to Seeded Hope on instagram. She’s on etsy as well, I believe.)

[magicalshopping]

Do you know any super cute lipstick packaging?

*cracks my knuckles* I’m glad u asked..

OH HO HO BOY THIS IS MY FORTE. Also it totally depends on what you consider or what you mean by cute SOOO I’ll just suggest all the lipstick packaging that I personally like and find cute - whether it be ‘kawaii’, ‘elegant’, or ‘punk’ kinds of cute. I’ll also be suggesting lipsticks of all types and formulas, not just in bullet form, and at any price range

Etude House Lipsticks ( x // x // x // x // x )

PONY Effect That Girl Outfit Lipstick ( x )

Beyond Alice in Blooming Lipstick ( x )

Beauty Bakerie Lip Whips/Liquid Lipsticks ( x // x ) [same packaging for both formulas but the different formula colors peering through the tube give the packaging different looks if you know what i mean] 

LunatiCK Cosmetic Labs Apocalipsticks ( x )

Caked Co Lip Fondant/Liquid Lipsticks ( x ) [the tube itself is simple but the top is cute]

Colourpop x Hello Kitty Matte & Satin Liquid Lipsticks ( x ) [they pretty much only changed the tops to have a different design but the HK design goes so well with Colourpop’s aesthetic)

Kat Von D Studded Kiss Lipstick ( x // x )

Yves Saint Laurent Lipsticks ( x // x // x ) [I saw the first one irl at Sephora and I just died a lil inside]

Christian Louboutin Lipsticks & Lacquer ( x // x // x // x )

Besame Cosmetics Lipstick ( x ) [simple but cute bullet design]

Mellow Cosmetics Lipsticks ( x ) [another very simple one i just like the matte soft white look it has???]

Urban Decay Vice Lipstick in ‘Trouble Maker’ ( x ) [I think that packaging is exclusive to that shade]

Too Faced Melted Matte Liquid Lipsticks ( x // x ) [idk what it is but the packaging is so cute to me esp in person ESPECIALLY the limited edition Candy Cane packaging. it’s a pretty color and formula]

MILK Cosmetics Lip Products ( x // x ) [they’re supposed to look like highlighters and markers it’s so tacky i love it]

Sephora x Pantone 2016 Color of the Year Lipsticks ( x ) [they’re sold out from sephora so I can’t give a link to buy unless you wanna go eBay and Amazon where they’re more expensive]

MAC Cosmetics x Mariah Carey Lipstick ( x ) 

Paul & Joe Lipsticks ( x ) [they have those cat head shaped lipsticks]

Tony Moly Petit Bunny Gloss Bars ( x ) 

Jill Stuart Lip Products ( x )

Winky Lux Lip Velour Lipstick ( x ) [they look like white and gold pills ahh]

Sugarpill Cosmetics Liquid Lipsticks + Bullet Lipsticks ( x ) [MOST IMPORTANTLY the bullet lipstick okay they look like cute lil pills and ahhhhhhhh gimme i need. their liquid lipstick in the shade Trinket used to have special really adorable artwork packaging when first released but not anymore]

Makeup Monsters Liquid Lipsticks ( x ) [the bottles are pretty cute but also props to their box packaging because when you have four of them you can put together a full pic like this. Also, I BELIEVE they’re going to change their cool green slime packaging this year i’m not sure so if you’re interested in the current packaging i guess get urs now]

Lime Crime Lip Products ( x // x // x ) [Diamond Crusher is actually just a lip topper but it’s still cute tho. Controversies aside, their Unicorn packaging was one of the first eye catching packaging in the indie market back in the day so I gotta point them out. They also have a Melanie Martinez collab lipstick bullet “Cry Baby” design, but that was limited edition and I haven’t heard if they’ll ever be back in stock again]

Baby Bat Beauty Metallic Lip Cream ( x ) [I like how different the bejeweled top is, as I personally haven’t seen that on other products. I also have a review for their lip creams here if u wanna check it out] 

Black Moon Cosmetics Liquid Lipsticks ( x )

Annnnnnd that’s all I can come up with at the moment. You definitely wanna be hovering the Japanese and Korean cosmetics market for some really cute packaging, but also don’t forget to look into the indie market in general because indie companies have also been coming out with cute packaging!!!

[shoveanavocadoupmyass]

♬

SEND ME A ♬ JUST FUCKING DO IT.

*RUBS MY GRUBBY LITTLE HANDS TOGETHER.* LET’S GO MOTHERFUCKER. 

THE TRUTH/THE END Reefer Madness “When danger’s near, exploit their fear. The end will justify the means.” 

I couldn’t find a combination of the two on YouTube, so those are two separate links above!

KAY so Reefer Madness is a stupid ass musical (the whole thing is on YouTube btw ur welcome), but it’s got this surprisingly real commentary on mobbing and fear mongering? 

It focuses on “reefer” (obviously, because that’s what the original movie was about and it’s fuckin’ in the title) and it deals with “loss of innocence” and shit. It follows the story of JIMMY AND MARY, two super classic Christian-American teens and their descent to sin by way of REEFER! 

The Lecturer’s (Alan Cumming’s) whole schtick is, like, he’s literally giving a seminar to parents like yOU WOULDN’T WANT THIS TO HAPPEN TO YOUR CHILDREN, WOULD YOU? And then ridiculous things happen to Jimmy and Mary and the other potheads. They swear and have a lot of sex and Sally literally sells her baby so she can buy weed at one point? 

TAKE A LOOK AT THESE LYRICS FROM THE OPENING NUMBER, THOUGH, FAM: 

“Creeping like a communist, it’s knocking at our doors. Turning all our children into hooligans and whores. Voraciously devouring the way things are today, savagely deflowering the good ol’ U.S.A.It’s Reefer Madness, Reefer Madness” 

“Stealthy as a socialist, it slithers up our shoresTurning all our children into hooligans and whores!This smoking bowl of evil bears the choking stench of sin!It burrows like a weevil under tender Christian skin!”

Man, just watch the whole musical. Also fuckin’ Zack and Cody’s dad plays Jesus at one point so obviously if you’re not sold already, that’ll get you. 

ANY WAY this is more of a connection with America than it is with Alfred, even though that’s...kind of a moot point. I think it makes sense? But if you’re like “what the fuck is wrong w u” I’ll try and explain more but HOO. 

ASTONISHING Little Women“I may be small, but I’ve got giant plans to shine as brightly as the sun.” 

SO - I linked that to a video of Sutton Foster singing it for some random TV show because the actual recording has this VERY SPECIFIC bit right at the beginning that’s like “WHY THE FUCK DID LAURIE PROPOSE TO ME THAT ASSHOLE WE’RE SUPPOSED TO BE BROS” which has no relevance to why I picked this for Alfred, because…Alfred is not Jo March and does not have the same problems as her. But if you want a better recording, here’s the OBC Cast with the weird beginning bit. 

This one is definitely more Alfred in his earlier years, like when he’s still with Arthur, kind of coming into himself kind of of song. Pre-War of Independence. You got me. 

That’s it. So in depth. Exploring his character. Damn shit. 

SUPERBOY AND THE INVISIBLE GIRL Next to Normal “He’s your hero, forever your son. He’s not here! I am here!” 

Okay, so I’m including this one because you’re MapleTea trash and this song gives me major Canada @ England, feat. America as Superboy vibes? Plus Aaron Tveit as Alfred F. Jones yes please god bless. 

Next to Normal is lit. It deals with a lot of shit that’s not really touched by musical theatre, it’s main theme being mental illness (specifically Bipolar Disorder). It follows the stories of the Goodman’s. Diana, the mother figure, is dealing with severe mental illness after suffering through the death of her son, Gabe (Superboy), who died in a car crash when he was a baby. Gabe presents as a regular character and functioning member of the family (who has aged as usual as well) and it’s revealed at the end of the first number that he’s not real when she tries to present him with a birthday cake and Dan sings “he’s not here.” In the song Catch Me I’m Falling it’s revealed that Natalie, the invisible girl, was born essentially to replace Gabe. 

Diana: “We had Natalie to…and I know she knows. I couldn’t hold her in the hospital. I couldn’t let myself hold her.” Dr. Madden: “That’s the first time you’ve mentioned Natalie in weeks of therapy.” Natalie: “She’s not there.” 

It’s a lot more involved than that…but…we will be here for HOURS. So just. MapleTea. And Alfred. Yeah. 

WORD OF YOUR BODY Spring Awakening. “O, I’m gonna be wounded. O, I’m gonna be your wound. O, I’m gonna bruise you. O, you’re gonna be my bruise”

Before I say anything I want to put in a fucking shout out to the Deaf Wests version of the REPRISE to this number (heads up there’s a fair amount of dialogue beforehand which I think is worth watching, BUT if you ain’t into it, the song starts around 2:27). This is the obligatory Allan @ Alfred/Alfred @ Allan number, and the reprise probably make more sense to refer to since, rather than a scene between Wendla and Melchior, it’s a scene between Ernst and Hanschen, who are our token gays! Also the smooches are really good and made me swoon so 10/10 recommend just watching for those if I’m honest. 

I originally linked the Melchior/Wendla version just because the audio is better, and I’m really only interested in the chorus anyway (which is what I quoted above) which is in both versions? Every other part of each other versions aren’t really what I was looking for since they’re very character specific and I find that the Ernst/Hanschen dynamic and the Melchior/Wendla dynamic don’t really represent Allan and Alfred. THAT BEING SAID, Hanschen’s character...is really good, and he looks a bit and acts a bit like Alfred. So. SO. 

ANYWAY. 

The chorus was the only thing I could find that I thought…encapsulated…what I think their relationship is? They don’t fit into the usual lovey dovey bullshit songs like Delovely and friggin’ Falling Slowly. And, like, referring to their relationship as some kind of wound or a bruise is...aesthetic as fuck. 

PUTTIN’ ON THE RITZ Fred Astaire “High hats and arrowed collars, white spats and lots of dollars. Spending every dime for a wonderful time!” 

*SHRUGS* 

HERE’S AN HONOURABLE MENTION FOR AN ALLAN AND ALFRED SONG ALSO LMFAO. 

[ecotone99]

[RF] The Cannibal

I am sitting at my desk, alone, surrounded by empty bottles and cigarette smoke. I can feel the start of a headache growing deep within my forehead, so in a futile attempt to distract myself I try glancing through my books picking volumes out at random turning from philosophy to self-help books, from poetry to financial manuals, all to no avail. Eventually, after becoming bored of being bored, I pick up my pen, turn on some music, and start writing. I cast my mind back to sitting outside in the heat, staring at the scenery, and forcing my fingers to type some book review or another that I was meant to be working on. In the distance I hear a car accelerating, then I see Julian’s BMW pulling up in front of me, and I see Tom get out and walk towards me.

“Hey man, can I bum one?” Said Tom sitting down in the chair next to me and running his hands through his hair.

“Sure, why are you in Julian’s car?” I asked handing him a cigarette and my lighter.

“Oh he lent it to me… What are you working on?” He said from in between puffs of smoke.

“It’s nothing important just a review of some book for the magazine.” I said.

“Any good? The book I mean.” He said.

“No. I it’s actually the worst thing they’ve made me read so far. Take a look at this shit.” I said pointing to a black paperback lying on the table. “As far as poetry goes it’s fucking pedantic and that title, The Dark between the Stars, I know that poets are pretentious but… Jesus!”

“Jesus… what do you think happens after people die?” He broke in suddenly, his eyes darting around first from the book, to me, to the car, to other houses, back to me then starting the whole cycle over again.

“Well… I mean… Ok as far as I can tell a priori, from books… It’s impossible to completely do away with the notion of a god as it’s impossible to prove something doesn’t exist. However I do think that all the religions we’ve managed to come up with are wrong, Christianity in particular is nothing more than a bad plagiarism, but probably after we die our brains stop functioning and so do we.” I said.

“Don’t you think that there’s any hope that people, loved ones, that we get to see them again?” He said.

“That right there is one of the worst aspects of religion. You see it plays on our worst anxieties, mines its way into the depths of our mind just because we want to see the people that we like again.” I said.

“Can I ask you something serious then? About life?” Said Tom.

“Life is much too important to talk seriously about. Besides it’s early and I’m far to sober for that kind of discussion.” I said.

“Quoting Oscar Wilde really? How old are you?” He said.

“Hey! I will defend my right to quote Wilde no matter how old I am.” I said.

“Whatever.” He said leaning back and staring out at the suburban expanse in front of the house.

“No come on don’t be like that. What was it?” I said.

“You like the existentialists right? I’ve been around many a late night discussion that you’ve undertaken about them.” He said.

“Yes although I prefer absurdism over existentialism if only because I like Camus more than Sartre.” I said.

“Outline the concept of bad faith for me. No seeing as you like Camus how about the absurd?” He said.

“Well… hang on let me think for a second… ok the main thing that Camus was concerned about was the human desire for meaning in a meaningless world. The Catch-22 of existence, we require purpose to function but no purpose is possible.” I said.

“And when confronted with that proposition what is a person meant to do?” He said.

“If you’re Camus like five chicks at once.” I said, smiling at him as one does when they think that they’ve said something witty but still needs approval on whether or not to laugh.

“NO! Be serious!” He yelled.

“Ok… um faced with the inherent absurdity of the world Camus thinks that we should carry on anyway. To be so free that our very existence is an act of rebellion. Not to suppress any part of yourself.” I said.

“That last part, not suppressing any part of your nature, if say purely hypothetically there was a Cannibal who by his nature had to eat people. By Camus’ logic that Cannibal should be able to eat as many people as he likes despite any ethical dilemmas.” Said Tom.

“I think that you’re talking more about Sartre there, he was more inclined to natures and bad faith and stuff... But yes I would have to admit that based on Camus’ logic the Cannibal would be able to eat as many people as he likes. However based on just human morality, no people shouldn’t eat each other.” I said by now we had become much more animated and relaxed as the conversation progressed. The sun was starting to set.

“Another hypothetical then say there was a man who had a wife and that wife was pregnant. And that man loved his wife, what sort of man wouldn’t love his wife, but that wife decided to leave that man… and ran off to his friend’s house. What should that man have done?” He said.

“I’m not really sure what the point of that one was.” I said, hesitantly.

“Ok… do you remember that play that you read and then couldn’t shut up about for a whole week, Faust? Well I picked up a copy the other day and you were perfectly right about how good it was, there was this one bit that stuck with me. I am the spirit that negates. And rightly so…” He said.

“For all that comes to be deserves to perish wretchedly. Mephistopheles.” I said.

“I killed Grace.” Said Tom. “And Julian. And…”

It is difficult to convey silence in a work of prose. And it is especially difficult to convey the kind of silence Tom and I experienced then. I can’t quite remember what I said next and looking back now I’m not sure what anyone would be able to say next. However I do know that after the silence Tom explained how he had snuck into Julian’s house to find his wife, but instead of talking like he had planned, strangled her. Then he had killed Julian, stole his car and drove here. After such an explanation he pulled out a handgun… on second thoughts I’m not going to write this after all.

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