#chris plays poot

[weclassybouquetfun]

AFC Richmond check-in.

-A few birthdays - Jeremy,Hannah, Juno and Stephen.

-Some work: Jeremy Swift can be seen in the Disney Channel movie DESCENDANTS: THE RISE OF RED as Principal Merlin

Brett Goldstein will have a film playing the Toronto Film Festival. Directed by Goldstein's SOULMATES co-creator William Bridges and written by Goldstein and Bridges, ALL OF YOU borrows from their SOULMATES concept and stars Imogen Poots, Steven Cree and Zawe Ashton.

Have to get used to a clean-shaven Brett.

Hush your butts - more AFC Richmond blatherings under the cut.

Kola Bokinni will be on the celebrity edition of RACE ACROSS THE WORLD.

Moe Hashim was at San Diego's Comic Con in support of the Peacock/Amazon Prime Videos series THOSE ABOUT TO DIE (which I love. Blew past the entire series nearly in one go.)

Kwame the Lionkiller.

A nice respite from his basketball feud with Toheeb Jimoh. I wonder how well the both of them would fare against Jason on the court.

Toheeb, who has been off doing a play reunited with Hannah and Koala at F1

Saran Niles will actually be in a F1 film with Brad Pitt.

Nick Mohammed was recently seen in the Steven Moffatt dramedy (entertaining, but a tad ham-fisted) DOUGLAS IS CANCELLED.

Phil Dunster was on Chris Evans' show promoting his upcoming performance in OKLAHOMA.

Little Gus Turner won an award for his role on TED LASSO.

Hannah and Juno both celebrated their Emmy nods. Hannah for her voiceover work on KRAPOPOLIS (her Christmas special was also nominated) and Juno for her role in FARGO.

Maximilian Osinski got some love from Screenrant.

Billy Harris and Charlie Hiscock memories from their July IG dump.

David Elsendoorn just because.

James Lance looking cool and living life at the Newport Folk Festival.

[praeyrp]

Our Current Taken Faces.

Notes: 

* Denotes face is shareable

** Denotes a face is shareable but is locked behind a wanted. (Message for more information)

This list is not fully up to date in regards to shareable faces.

Reserve list:

Christian Yu

In-play & Taken:

Adam Driver

Adria Arjona

Alfred Enoch

Ana De Armas

Ashley Graham

Ben Barnes 

Boyd Holbrook

Bradley James

Brendon Urie

Candice Patton

Casey Deidrick

Charlie Hunnam

Chris Hemsworth

Chris Wood

Dacre Montgomery

Daniel Gillies

Daniel Henny

David Gandy

David Giuntoli

Dean O'Gorman

Diane Guerrero

Ed Skrein

Eddie Redmayne

Eiza González *

Emmy Rossum

Ewan McGregor

Garrett Hedlund

Gwendoline Christie

Hale Appleman

Holland Roden

Imogen Poots

Jeff Satur

Jeffrey Dean Morgan

Jessica Chastain

Jon Kortajarena

Jordyn Jones

Kat Graham

Keiko Kubota

Ken Bek **

Lee Chae-Rin

Lucien Laviscount

Lucy Liu

Madelaine Petsch **

Manny Montana

Matilda Lutz

Megan Fox

Mena Massoud

Michele Morrone

Miley Cyrus

Naomi Scott

Nick Jonas

Nick Sagar *

Nico Tortorella *

Nyna Lebajoa

Ophelia Overdose

Phoebe Tonkin

Rafa Rech

Rafael L. Silva 

Richard Cabral

Ricki Hall

Ronen Rubinstein 

Ruby Rose

Sam Claflin *

Sammi Jefcoate

Sofi Boutella

Stephen James [2]

Thomas Dohetry

Tom Hiddleston

Zayn Malik

Zoe Kravitz

[pandapupremade]

Crying does he do anything except just stand there

i hate this man im putting him in the shelter

[aconites]

hello!  since i’m finally moved and settled into my new place, i have a ton of muse to write and i’m looking for new partners and friends who are interested in writing with me!  if you want to do threads with someone who will literally message you at 3am with random headcanons, musings and create graphics ( manips, videos, gifs manips, crackships, etc )  for our characters — look no further. i also have no triggers, am sm.ut friendly and love to do multiple plots with the same partner. bellow the cut you’ll find a list of wanted faceclaims, opposites, ships and plots that i would love to do and if anything catches your interest please give this post a like and i’ll message you. this is for mutuals & non mutuals, so feel free to like this even if we have threads/plots happening already.

faceclaims i’d love to play!

ana de armas*

florence pugh

jessica alexander

greta onieogou

simone ashley

phoebe dynevor

adelaide kane*

casimere jollette

olivia holt

hande ercel*

melisa pamuk*

dakota johnson*

josefine frida pettersen

madelyn cline*

madison bailey

lily james*

lily collins*

sydney sweeney*

alexa demie*

gabriella wilde*

sofia carson

kristine froseth

haley lu richardson

romee strijd

candice swanepoel

anya taylor joy

laura harrier

nina dobrev*

imogen poots*

minka kelly

madelaine petsch

zoey deutch

camila queiroz*

zendaya

josephine langford*

kaylee bryant

danielle rose russell

halston sage*

emily ratajkowski*

benedetta porcaroli

scarlett leithold

margot robbie*

camila mendes

josefine frida pattersen

danielle campbell*

camila morrone

maia mitchell

alycia debnam-carey

phoebe tonkin

abigail cowen*

elle fanning

dove cameron

emma mackey

kathryn newton*

faceclaims i’d love to play against!

any of the ladies above.

henry cavill**

ben barnes**

jonathan bailey*

clayton cardenas

jd pardo

rudy pankow*

felix mallard

chase stokes

rege jean-page

andrew garfield

dacre montgomery

joe keery *

david harbour

sebastian stan*

lorenzo zurzolo

alex fitzalan*

dylan o’brien*

nick robinson*

manny montana

chris evans*

jordan connor

casey deidrick *

milo ventimiglia*

tommy martinez *

dj cotrona *

charlie hunnam *

jeffrey dean morgan *

tom hardy

jason momoa

wolfga.ng novogratz*

harry styles

jacob elordi*

giuseppe maggio

ships i’d love to do!

any of the above fcs combined tbh. ( m/f or f/f )

ben barnes & ana de armas*

ben barnes & sydney sweeney**

ben barnes & lily collins*

ben barnes & phoebe tonkin*

ben barnes & adelaide kane ( royal/bridgerton era plot )*

ben barnes & phoebe dynevor  ( royal/bridgerton era plot )**

ben barnes & bruna marquezine  ( royal/bridgerton era plot )**

ben barnes & anya chalotra  ( royal/bridgerton era plot )**

rege jean-page & simone ashley   ( royal/bridgerton era plot )**

rege jean-page  & anya taylor joy  ( royal/bridgerton era plot )

jonathan bailey & simone ashley*  ( royal/bridgerton era plot )

jonathan bailey & lily james***   ( royal/bridgerton era plot )****

henry cavill & adelaide kane**  ( royal/bridgerton era plot )****

henry cavill & jodie comer  ( royal/bridgerton era plot )

daniel charman & adelaide kane  ( royal/bridgerton era plot )*

daniel sharman & jodie comer  ( royal/bridgerton era plot )*

jd pardo & florence pugh

jd pardo & phoebe tonkin*

nick robinson & sydney sweeney

nick robinson & alexa demie

danielle campbell & casey deidrick*

casey deidrick & margot robbie

danielle rose russell & danielle campbell

danielle rose russell & kaylee bryant

clayton cardenas & lily james

clayton cardenas &  phoebe tonkin*

hande ercel & can yaman*

dylan o’brien & kristine froseth*

dylan o’brien & danielle rose russell

dylan o’brien & josephine langford

jacob elordi & sydney sweeney

jacob elordi & josephine langford*

dacre montgomery & madelaine petsch

jamie dornan & josephine langford*

henry cavill & dakota johnson*

ana de armas & dj cotrona

rudy pankow & kristine froseth*

rudy pankow & sydney sweeney*

felix mallard & kristine froseth

felix mallard & sydney sweeney*

bill skarsgard & madelaine petsch

camila mendes & dj cotrona

lily james & charlie hunnam

dakota johnson & sebastian stan*

sebastian stan & ana de armas&

chris evans & margot robbie

chris evans & ana de armas

ana de armas & manny montana

cindy kimberly & harry styles

chase stokes & madelyn cline*

madison bailey & madelyn cline

dove cameron & sofia carson

benedetta porcaroli & alice pagani*

cindy kimberly & madison beer

kathryn newton & alex fitzalan

manny montana & camila mendes*

danielle campbell & skeet ulrich

hero fiennes tiffin & alexa demie

madison davenport & dj cotrona*

sydney sweeney & charlie hunnam*

ana de armas & margot robbie & anyone.

canon ships i’d love to do!

my marissa cooper ( madelyn cline ) & ryan atwood ( choose his fc )

my serena van der woodsen ( benedetta porcaroli/tba. )  & nate archibald ( choose his fc!)

my blair waldorf ( sofia carson )  & chuck bass ( choose his fc!)

my peyton sawyer ( kathryn newton )  & lucas scott ( choose his fc! )

my hayley james ( zoey deutch)  & nathan scott ( choose his fc! )

my brooke davis ( danielle campbell )  & lucas scott ( choose his fc! )

plots id love to do!

bridgerton era plots**

royal plots**

g.ang/c.rime plots**

zombie apocalypse plots

mc/b.iker/sons of anarchy plots!!!!!!***

nanny/single dad**

famous plots!!

grumpy ceo/soft lil assistant**

best friends to lovers plots ( gimme angsty )

soul mate plots! i have a whole lore for this plot so ..

supernatural plots

best friend’s brother/brother’s best friend heh

age ga.p stuff?  ( both fcs over the age of 21 tho ) **

sugar b.aby / sugar d.addy plots*

bodyguard/client pls!!!!!!**

i really want a plot where a son of a dangerous and feared m.obster is put in charge of managing his father’s stri.p club and falls for one of the dancers.

someone give me “you’re my best friend’s innocent little sister and i’ve known you since you were in like 4th grade but somehow you got super f.ucking hot and you live next door and have a habit of dancing in front of your window in your un.derwear.”

um, give me a plot where she used to be this s.exy, wild girl and had a bad boy boyfriend to match but when he turned eighteen he was caught for some cr.ime and sent to pris.on for a couple years. he came out fully expecting for her to be waiting for him but when he finds her she’s this prim and proper girl who is dating some pretentious ivy league di.ck. she pretends to be happy with her vanilla, boring relationship, but soon he wraps her up in his world again.

y’all. i need an ‘i’ve got no where to live, so i went to a fancy hotel pretending i’m rich & fancy af, and pretended to be your wife in order to get the key to your room. but please don’t yell and kick me out when you see me laying in your bed with your robe on while watching pay per view on the tv and eating the mini bar snacks. but wait, this works out in your favor? now i have to actually pretend to be your wife so your crazy mother will get off your back about marriage? as long as i get to keep all the clothes you buy me’ plot.

basic plot idea where my muse is kind of cold and unaffectionate with anyone, but is friends with your muse who recently went through a bad breakup. my muse suggests or agrees to fake being in a relationship with your muse to make their ex jealous. but then my muse starts to like the fake relationship a little too much and falls for yours

*whispers* single dad ( hell maybe not so single dad ) & nanny plot. where she’s got the biggest infatuation with him and he’s trying his best to ignore how good she looks in her short skirts and dresses. her “accidentally” bumping into him in nothing but a towel. late nights completely tired after getting the baby to bed and falling asleep on the couch together. her finally showing up in his bedroom in nothing but li.ngerie ;)

but like imagine you and best friend luke are just on his bed tickling each other and play fighting and then suddenly he flips you over onto your back and pins your arms above your head and he’s all smirking because he knows you wont be able to get away and your tshirt is after riding up and he gives you this wicked grin and starts blowing raspberries on your tummy and you’re giggling and squealing telling him to stop because it tickles but he just continues, but soon his raspberries turn into kisses that trail down your stomach towards the hem of your sweatpants and he looks up at you through his eyelashes as if looking for approval and you just nod your head and he starts tugging your sweats down and let’s just say you’re not exactly just friends after**

what about a s.ugar baby plot where she used to be st.ripper/ca.ll girl that is given the opportunity to drop that job in order to be full time for her high paying client. she goes from living pay check to pay check to going on vacations in ex.otic places and drinking the finest of champagne. the lifestyle is almost addicting to her so when he asks her to be his girlfriend she doesn’t think twice?? it isn’t until other girls flirt with him that she realize that feelings might be involved :))

can i pls have a plot where the guy is like a street figh.ter but he’s rly rly good and he’s trying to make an actual career out of it and actually joins a boxing gym to train and fight professional boxers but in comes the worried ex-girlfriend who’s trying to talk him out of everything and they still have feelings for each other but he’s always trying to convince her that he’s no good for her and like pushes her away constantly but he also knows he can’t live without her and she can’t live without him so she eventually decides to support him even though she’s still lowkey against it all so she goes to his fights and stuff and makes him his breakfast and does his laundry and takes care of him but there can be like arguments and lots of crying when he comes home every night with fresh w.ounds and b.ruises!!!!! imagine the angst and tears and kissing and s.ex and yelling pls gimme gimme

someone should give me a plot with this big bad ga.ng leader and his super soft and cute girlfriend that has him wrapped around her finger. like he’s a feared man, which she doesn’t really care about. and she’s there to patch him up and while he usually tries to hide her away from the cruel world he’s in whenever he isn’t there with her, she just patiently waits for him when he’s out and about doing his business and he’s so fascinated by her and no matter how much of a bad guy he is, he’s just so soft for her and he’d do anything for her!!! and then his most precious possession gets k.dnaped and shit goes down snsnsns

an actor or musician who kno.cks up a one night s.tand/fling while he’s shooting on location/on tour and they decide to keep the baby and co-parent platonically but she wants their kid to have a normal life so they keep their baby a secret from the press. they manage this for years, him flying out to visit when he can but he starts to get more famous and people start digging into his past and they’re exposed and have to deal with the fall out and also!! possible!! feelings!! for each other!!

i just want a plot where muse a has been in this friends with ben.efits thing with muse b bc they both just wanted to lose their v.irginity already (they’ve been neighbours and fwb since they were sixteen) and now he became a manwh.ore. they are completely different at college (i thought of a bad boy/”good” girl kinda thing) but when muse a says she wants it to stop bc she wants to try to have a real relationship with someone else, muse b realises he doesn’t want it to end bc he rlly likes her ??? and hes still such a dick but he starts to give her more attention at uni to try to manipulate her to stay bc she’s the realest thing he’s ever had and he just doesn’t know how to stop the whole bad boy persona !!give it to me pls

give me the cliche - good girl falls in love with bad boy/girl/non-binary, her parents despise him and fo.rbid her from seeing him/her/them ( all romeo & juliet style ), so the two run away to vegas and get married in a 24 hour chapel by an elvis impersonator. queue extra angst, s.exual tension, cheesy honeymoon suites with heart shaped beds. yes yes yes.

please an arranged marriage between two socilaite families/ big names in their city. but like she’s still stuck in the party stage and f.ucking up because she’s upset with her parents or unhappy with her life and he’s dealing with a lot of pressure and stress from his family to take over the family bussiness and it’s just two polar opposites but it could be super cute sometimes when she gets super d.runk and he picks her up and hold her hair back when she thro.ws up and stays up to give her a glass of water and make sure she sleeps well even though he has a huge meeting in the morning that he should be resting for. but also the angst and the fights and the ‘i didnt ask for this’ and making each other jealous and se..xual tension and fcuk pls

okay so when is someone gonna give me a ship where’s its a professional athlete (probs football) and an actress/singer and they’re dating or maybe married but they’re total goals and so supportive of each others careers and are constantly posting about each other on social media and they might not always be able to be together but she goes to his games when she’s around and looks super cute in his jersey and he’s always going to her premieres/concerts and i just need celebrity power couples

i’m craving a plot where a girl matches up with her best friends brother on t.inder and every time she sleeps over from then on she sneaks into his room to spend the night after the best friend has fallen asleep like please and thank you

someone give me a thread where this rich dude falls for the normal down to earth girl nd introduces her to his world full of private jets nd yachts nd all that stuff and yes please *

no but gimme a plot where the girl’s a m.ob boss’s daughter, and the boy is a cop fresh outta the academy and he doesn’t realize that the girl he’s been flirting with is the daughter of the guy he’s trying to get behind bars.

plot: rich business man tries out a c.all girl (inexperienced and much younger) but they end up having a+++ s.ex (can be v rough bc he’s so stressed) so he ends up calling her up quite often and they grow attached to each other xcept there can be drama bc a) he’s married or engaged or something or b) he wants to keep them a secret or maybe even she tells him that she doesn’t date clients and ahhh yeah pls gimme

hi somebody pls give me a summer camp plot where they’re both camp counselors !!  it’d be hella cute tbh, like imagine giving each other these lil yarn bracelets they made during arts + crafts ?  also lil dates at the lake after everyone’s asleep + they’re just there getting h.igh + skin.ny dipping ??*

during a bank rob.bery you’re surprised when the criminals seem to recognize you and retreat in fear. only later do you learn that your high school sweet-heart now runs a global crim.e syndicate and has you placed on a “no harm” list. you decide to pay them a visit after all these years.*

muse a is in college and decides to become a stri,pper at an elite club to pay for her tuition. the club is run by this m.afia boss, muse b, who’s enchanted with her from the get-go and the feeling was mutual. so for the next year, on every friday night, muse b books a private dance from her for two hours, and muse a who has only been comfortable giving them to him and no one else, starts to look forward to it every time. she knows he’s dangerous but he doesn’t scare her like he probably should and every week the tension becomes thicker and thicker… i think it would b very cool to develop this and see what could happen when they eventually hook up. muse b doesn’t want to bring her into his world, not wanting for her to get hurt but the heart wants what it wants. 😈*

god i just got an imagine of a trophy wife who is way younger than her husband. as in she’s in her second year of college and he’s in his thirties. she is absolutely spoiled by him and she’s all too eager to please him in & out of bed. for all intends and purposes he seems like he’s in charge. he’s older. he has the money. yet he is so weak for her and wanting to give her the world. yet when they’re in the bedroom he f.ucks her like he doesn’t love her and she’s too into it. someone let me play this out. *

can i please have a precious lil broke girl who’s working herself to the bone as a waitress or something to put herself through college, meeting a wealthy older man who becomes totally smitten with her and wants to take care of her but she’s not used to not doing everything herself and he does stuff like renting out her entire restaurant on days she’s supposed to work bc he wants to see her, and taking her shopping so she has stuff to wear to his super fancy business galas, and constantly buying her fancy sparkly gifts, and there’s angst bc all the rich ladies are like ‘oh shes just his s.ugar baby/midlife crisis’ and she’s all ‘i don’t belong in your world’ and just please give me this xoxo *

okay so um i need a plot where this like young precious innocent lil cinnamon roll of a girl somehow stumbles upon some kinda se.xy chatroom thing (that may or may not be p.rison/inm.ate related) and starts chatting with this older guy who’s in prison (bc he was in a ga.ng or dr.ug ring or something, nothing too crazy ok) and they spend like months chatting pretty soon he convinces her to send him pictures and he gives her like d.irty little ‘missions’ (like wear vib,rating panti.es to college and take nud.es in public places and stuff like that) and then he eventually gets out of pri.son and they meet but she’s still a vi.rgin and he’s spent months not getting any and like can i please just have this  debauchery

a f.ucked up modern day marriage plot where a rival m.ob boss marries his daughter, muse a, off to muse b to calm the tension between the families. at first they hate each other, but once forced to live together, they start warming up to each other, too stubborn to let it show. then one night he comes back from an important deal gone wrong, his face is f.ucked up and he’s feverish and she takes care of him all night and etc etc etc…i need it?

okay so i read a fanfic with this plot and i can’t stop thinking about it and i really would love to do it with someone if anyone is interested!  basically, muse a and muse b have been best friends their entire life, they were always that duo everyone thought would end up together but things never went in a romantic route ( other than a few drunk kisses they never talked about throughout their late teens ) and now muse a has been dating his girlfriend for the last two years but was still just as close with muse b despite his girlfriend’s hidden jealousy. they’re now in their mid-twenties and muse a really wants to have a child and to start a family but his girlfriend is unable to carry them due to medical reasons. the topic of surrogates is brought up when he and muse b are hanging out one night and since she would do anything to make her best friend happy, she offers to carry his baby. after a sperm donation and a visit to the clinic, muse b finds out two weeks later that she’s pregnant and muse a couldn’t be happier and believes his girlfriend is just as over the moon as he is. unfortunately, she isn’t. it’s not until muse b is over four months pregnant that his girlfriend drops a bombshell – she doesn’t want to be a mother and she thought that she’d change her mind as things went further along but she can’t. the break up comes next and overwhelmed by the turn of events, muse b starts to panic and wonder what the hell she’s going to do. even though half of the baby’s dna is her own, she hadn’t been prepared to actually raise it but luckily muse a doesn’t bring up his expectations on the matter. he still wants to be a dad but doesn’t want to make muse b feel any pressure to be by his side when the baby is born. they don’t talk about it for the next few weeks and as time goes on, they get closer. muse a is super supportive and involved with the pregnancy, making sure to go to the doctor appointments with her and prenatal classes. he brushes off her mood swings and when she’s craving chocolate cupcakes at two in the morning, he doesn’t think twice about getting up and going to the store to get them for her. feelings start to develop and muse b comes to the conclusion that she’s inlove with him and thinks she always has been, despite wanting to push those feelings away when they were growing up. muse b also realizes that she wants to raise the baby with him and after an emotional conversation and mutual confessions come to light, they end up sleeping together and all seems like it’s falling into place. it’s not until the morning after that muse a gets a phone call from his ex, who suddenly has a change of heart and wants to get back together. to be a mother like they had originally planned… drama ensues.

when the m.ob princess meets the m.ob prince: forbi.dden love is always angsty so why not do that and add rival g.angs to the mix?  muse a is the daughter of the head boss of the local g.ang and is sick and tired of having her life controlled by her overprotective father. so, to rebel against his wishes after an argument, muse a decides to go to a nightclub that her father had always f.orbidden her to attend. unknown to her, the club is run by the rival ga.ng’s boss’ son, muse b, and not knowing who she is, can’t stop looking at her on the dance floor. they eventually bump into each other and after having a few drinks, end up at muse a’s apartment and they ho.ok up. i was thinking they both never brought up their families and their true professions and maybe start to hang out/go on dates and then bam, the truth comes out and drama begins. especially when they can’t stay away from each other.

a plot where he’s a little too old for her but she doesn’t care. he thinks she’s immature and too reckless with her behavior. but she’s he.llbent on proving him otherwise. so she applies for the position of his new personal assistant and he can’t help but appreciate her determination. of course he hires her but he does nothing short of giving her a hard time because this is her first job and she has no idea what she’s doing. but crap he finds her crying in the bathroom and his first instinct is to hold her and comfort her. he can’t believe he’s the cause of this and wises up fast. also maybe it has to do with his now urge to protect her.

i need a famous ship where they’re both insanely busy with album recordings & red carpets & tours & they’re trying to make this whole long distance relationship work but with the time differences & going months without seeing each other it’s difficult, not to mention all the rumors & shit. but then there’s all the cute things like showing up on tour to surprise each other & going to award shows together & just finally seeing each other again after going so long with only facetime dates, missed calls, & late night texts to get them by. honestly idek where i’m going with this i just know that i really want it ??? but like this or message me & we can figure everything out k cool

[stainedglassgardens]

Watched in May

A Russian Youth (Мальчик русский) Sicario Fedora LoveTrue The Platform Water Lilies (Naissance des pieuvres) The Assistant The Half of It Tomboy The Last Man on Earth Beanpole (Дылда) Mommy The Fall Girlhood (Bande de filles) Carnival of Souls Marguerite & Julien Portrait of a Lady on Fire (Portrait de la jeune fille en feu) This Magnificent Cake! (Ce Magnifique Gâteau!) Romantic Comedy Transnistra Eraserhhead The Farewell Emma. Late Night Charlie's Angels Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) The Ancestors Came Suicide by Sunlight Anthropocene: The Human Epoch A Perfect 14 Westwood: Punk, Icon, Activist Free Radicals Aniara Vivarium La Pointe-Courte Diary of a Pregnant Woman (L'Opéra-Mouffe) Salut les Cubains Uncle Yanco (Oncle Yanco) GUO4 Atlantiques Sitara: Let Girls Dream Lions Love (Lions Love... And Lies) Živan Makes a Punk Festival (Živan pravi pank festival) Plastic and Glass The So-Called Caryatids (Les Dites Cariatides) The Octopus (La Pieuvre) Hyas and Stenorhynchus (Hyas et sténorinques, crustacés marins) Sea Urchins (Les Oursins) Bernard-L'Hermite (Bernard-l'Ermite) The Sea Horse (L'Hippocampe ou "cheval marin") Voyage to the Sky (Voyage dans le ciel) Le Vampire Freshwater Assassins (Assassins d'eau douce) How Some Jellyfish Are Born (Comment naissent des méduses) Shrimp Stories (Histoires de crevettes) The Love Life of the Octopus (Les Amours de la pieuvre) Acera, or The Witches' Dance (Acera, ou le Bal des Sorcières) Pigeons of the Square (Les Pigeons du square) The Slumber Party Massacre Jane B. par Agnès V. The Cranes Are Flying (Летят журавли) Crystal Swan (Хрусталь) Take Me Somewhere Nice Microhabitat ( 소공녀) The Unforeseen

Did not finish

Swiss Army Man (Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert, 2016) Braid (Mitzi Peirone, 2018) A Secret Love (Chris Bolan, 2020) Calder's 1927 Great Circus (Le Grand Cirque Calder 1927, Jean Painlevé, 1955)

Did not like

Sicario (Denis Villeneuve, 2015) The Platform (Galder Gaztelu-Urrutia, 2019) The Half of It (Alice Wu, 2020) Sitara: Let Girls Dream (Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy, 2019)

I could take them or leave them

Fedora (Billy Wilder, 1978) LoveTrue (Alma Har'el, 2016) This Magnificent Cake! (Ce Magnifique Gâteau!, Emma De Swaef & Marc James Roels, 2018) Romantic Comedy (Elizabeth Sankey, 2019) Eraserhhead (David Lynch, 1977) Late Night (Nisha Ganatra, 2019) Charlie's Angels (Elizabeth Banks, 2019) Free Radicals (Len Lye, 1958) Aniara (Pella Kågerman and Hugo Lilja, 2018) Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (Cathy Yan, 2020) The Ancestors Came (Cecile Emeke, 2017) GUO4 (Peter Strickland, 2019) Živan Makes a Punk Festival (Živan pravi pank festival, Ognjen Glavonić, 2014) The Unforeseen (Laura Dunn, 2007)

Films I enjoyed

A Russian Youth (Мальчик русский, Alexander Zolotukhin, 2019): Went into this with the single aim of improving my Russian. Loved the back-and-forth between “the story” and the orchestra playing the score to said story. The “story” itself is also tragically moving

Water Lilies (Naissance des pieuvres), Tomboy, Girlhood (Bande de filles) and Portrait of a Lady on Fire (Portrait de la jeune fille en feu) (Céline Sciamma, 2007, 2011, 2014, 2019): I saw all four of Céline Sciamma’s films practically in a row! I liked all of them, don’t think I prefer one over another. And I recognise she’s a talented filmmaker, even though she’ll probably never be a favourite

The Last Man on Earth (Ubaldo Ragona and Sidney Salkow, 1964): A good... vampire-zombie film... that is worth sticking with even though you might find it too ordinary at first

Beanpole (Дылда, Kantemir Balagov, 2019): This story is fucked up! I liked it up to a certain extent, but I suspect it was mainly because of the historical and geographical setting. If you like post-WW2 Russia and this is the film for you

Mommy (Xavier Dolan, 2014): The portrayal of the titular mother hit a bit too close to home... This was my first Xavier Dolan film and I was not disappointed. Only drawback: Céline Dion’s song “On ne change pas” has been stuck in my head ever since

The Fall (Jonathan Glazer, 2020): It was... good? From the publicity it received on Mubi, I thought this was going to be a feature film, so yeah, I was disappointed, I loved Sexy Beast and Under the Skin so much

The Farewell (Lulu Wang, 2019): I really liked it, I think this didn’t get nearly enough praise -- but I was expecting something life-changing when I “only” found this very good

Emma. (Autumn de Wilde, 2020): This adaptation felt like Autumn de Wilde really, really wanted her film to be shown in as many classrooms as possible. It was enjoyable! I liked her additions to the book, and I appreciate the challenge she took up

Suicide by Sunlight (Nikyatu Jusu, 2019): A good short vampire film about Black vampires who are protected from daylight by their melanin

Anthropocene: The Human Epoch (Edward Burtynsky, Jennifer Baichwal, Nicholas de Pencier, 2018): Stunning visuals, sobering message. Somewhere between Koyaanisqatsi and Unser Täglich Brot in tone

A Perfect 14 (Giovanna Morales Vargas, 2018): This, by necessity, doesn’t cover everything on the subject of plus-size models, and practically speaking I didn’t learn anything -- but it’s well-made, and the personal stories of the main interviewees make a good, contrasted portrait

Westwood: Punk, Icon, Activist (Lorna Tucker, 2018): I came out of this feeling as if Vivienne Westwood wasn’t that interesting of a person, which I’m sure wasn’t the director’s intention... still, it was informative enough

Plastic and Glass (Tessa Joosse, 2009): A short somewhat-documentary about a choir in a recycling facility. Good music

The Slumber Party Massacre (Amy Holden Jones, 1982): Finally saw this! Very surprised to learn this was written by Rita Mae Brown. It was good as far as slashers go and of course, it is nice to watch something from that era that is not appallingly sexist

The Cranes Are Flying (Летят журавли, Mikhail Kalatozov, 1957): I guess I had to read about this afterwards in order to see how unusual it was for the time it was made. While I watched it I enjoyed the way it was filmed but the story left me indifferent, and I thought it lacked subtlety

Crystal Swan (Хрусталь, Darya Zhuk, 2018): A very aesthetically pleasing story set in 1990s Belarus, about a young woman who wants to emigrate to Chicago for the love of house music... the story will keep taking you unexpected places from there. The costumes are perfect, the soundtrack is interesting. It does feel a little as if it were made for export, and I thought it relied quite heavily on stereotypes about Slavs

Take Me Somewhere Nice (Ena Sendijarević, 2019): This coming-of-age road movie about a Bosnian girl who was raised in the Netherlands and comes back to visit her father in hospital has everything... drugs, violence, death, even cute dogs. The pastel palette makes it very satisfying

Microhabitat ( 소공녀, Jeon Go-woon, 2017): This film about a woman with a minimum-wage job who would rather leave her flat than quit smoking and drinking whisky just spoke to me

La Pointe-Courte, Diary of a Pregnant Woman (L'Opéra-Mouffe), Salut les Cubains, Uncle Yanco (Oncle Yanco), Lions Love (Lions Love... And Lies), The So-Called Caryatids (Les Dites Cariatides), Jane B. par Agnès V. (Agnès Varda, 1955, 1958, 1964, 1967, 1969, 1984, 1988): I decided to watch all of Agnès Varda’s films that are on Mubi France and that I haven’t seen already, in chronological order. This feels a bit like a chore sometimes, but I find it rewarding. It’s strange to think that even a few years ago hers was a name I’d heard a few times but that didn’t mean anything to me. And I know I can be merciless when it comes to French cinema. Anyway... I like what I’ve seen so far (the above plus Cléo and Vagabond), I like that someone can just pick up her film camera and make a short about caryatids... generally speaking I like Varda’s approach to film that makes it seem more accessible to people like me. I don’t think all of her films are particularly good, but I like that she made all of them. I never did particularly like Cléo, and I didn’t particularly like La Pointe-Courte in spite of the fact that it was shot very close to where I’m from. Of the above, my fave was probably Lions Love, even though (or because?) it doesn’t very much feel like a Varda film. Uncle Yanco is a close second. I’ve got three feature films left now

Films I loved

The Assistant (Kitty Green, 2019): Unfortunately enough, this reminded me of an internship I did a few years ago... I found it uncomfortably realistic, and thus very good. Julia Garner is perfect, as usual

Carnival of Souls (Herk Harvey, 1962): I watched this because it is a classic, expecting it to be over-the-top and not nearly as scary as I found it... a very good surprise

Marguerite & Julien (Valérie Donzelli, 2015): It’s hard to talk about this in a way that will make people want to see it without making me sound like a huge weirdo but here goes. It’s a story about a brother and sister who are madly in love with each other. It takes place in a fantasy past and is told like a fairytale. If you think it’s impossible to turn this premise into a good film please watch this

Transnistra (Anna Eborn, 2019): With this film I discovered the existence of the tiny unrecognised state named Transnistria... I also discovered Alla Pugacheva, who is part of a great nostalgic Russian soundtrack with Kino amongst others. The story is one of those documentaries about youth that punches you right in the gut. Definitely recommended

Vivarium (Lorcan Finnegan, 2019): This is the type of what, for lack of a better term, I call “minimal science fiction” that I really enjoy. I’ve thought about it a lot since then. I don’t know why people generally didn’t seem to like it. I thought the premise was terrifying and nightmarish, and the actual film effectively claustrophobic. Plu:s Imogen Poots

Atlantiques (Mati Diop, 2009): This is the short, not the feature film of the same name. I’ve heard a lot about Mati Diop and I saw this the second it became available on Mubi France -- and I didn’t regret it. Can’t wait to see Atlantiques, long form

The Octopus (La Pieuvre), Hyas and Stenorhynchus (Hyas et sténorinques, crustacés marins), Sea Urchins (Les Oursins), Bernard-L'Hermite (Bernard-l'Ermite), The Sea Horse (L'Hippocampe ou "cheval marin"), Voyage to the Sky (Voyage dans le ciel), Le Vampire, Freshwater Assassins (Assassins d'eau douce), How Some Jellyfish Are Born (Comment naissent des méduses), Shrimp Stories (Histoires de crevettes), The Love Life of the Octopus (Les Amours de la pieuvre), Acera, or The Witches' Dance (Acera, ou le Bal des Sorcières), Pigeons of the Square (Les Pigeons du square) (Jean Painlevé, 1928, 1929, 1929, 1930, 1934, 1937, 1945, 1947; Jean Painlevé and Geneviève Hamon, 1960, 1964, 1965, 1972; Jean Painlevé, 1982): I didn’t know who Jean Painlevé was before I decided to watch The Octopus. As it turns out, I am a sucker for well-made nature documentaries, and since all of these are short films, I ended up watching them all, in order of release, over the course of one afternoon. It’s a little bit crazy that these were getting made as early as the 1920s, and I can’t imagine what it would have been like to see them in theatres nearly a hundred years ago. Anyway these are all good, although I wasn’t expecting the vivisection that seems to have been par for the course in the early days

*

Yes, I really did watch 65 films in May. It becomes a little less impressive considering a fair amount of those were shorts, but still. Unemployment!

I have access to Outbuster now in addition to Mubi and Netflix, this time through my boyfriend’s account. It’s a French thing I think, and very cheap, but I’ve only just tried it with Microhabitat. Of course it was the Mubi Library thing that just completely sent me over the edge, and I want to watch all the things.

In June I hope to finish Agnès Varda’s filmography on Mubi and maybe watch some more Tarkovsky!

[jamesginortonblog]

No one could accuse James Norton of allowing himself to be typecast. The 34-year-old has played a vicar-turned-sleuth in Grantchester, a violent rapist in Happy Valley, and the aristocratic hero of War & Peace. He’s also number three in the betting to be the new James Bond. And he’s just about to add to his library of opposites with two new roles: the staid tutor John Brooke, who marries Emma Watson’s Meg March, in the star-studded new film adaptation of Little Women; and the flamboyant real-life figure at the centre of the Profumo scandal – Stephen Ward – in BBC One’s The Trial of Christine Keeler.

“Ward was 100 per cent the fall guy,” says Norton, sporting a dark-blue crushed velvet jacket and settling in on a chaise longue in an upmarket London hotel. The actor looks every bit as debonair as you’d expect for a man playing the high-society osteopath with connections that ran from Soho to the aristocracy. “The government needed to clear their own name by tarnishing someone else’s.”

It was Ward who introduced the 46-year-old Secretary of State for War John Profumo (Ben Miles) to 19-year-old model and showgirl Christine Keeler (Sophie Cookson) at a party at Lord Astor’s country house estate of Cliveden in 1961. It led to an affair that exposed Profumo as a security threat – thanks to Keeler’s simultaneous relationship with a Russian naval attaché.

Keeler and her friend Mandy Rice-Davies (Ellie Bamber) often stayed at Ward’s London mews flat, and the 50-year-old former public schoolboy would later be prosecuted for living off immoral earnings in a dubious case of establishment revenge. The two had contributed small amounts to household expenses. Ward committed suicide after the judge’s summing up amounted to a direction to the jury to find him guilty.

Amanda Coe’s stylish, evocative drama establishes Keeler and Rice-Davies as sexually liberated young women for their time. Does Norton think they were victims? “Ward definitely used certain relationships he had with young, beautiful women to ingratiate himself with the wealthy elite,” he says. “He also groomed them to a point… but it’s too simplistic to say he was a man who groomed young women. His relationship with these young girls was often a very positive one, he would enable them, take them out of poverty.” Keeler was from a disadvantaged background and fitted the mould of the “alley cats” Ward liked to befriend. Norton gives a terrific performance as the sleazy Pygmalion.

“I really warmed to him… you fall in love with these characters, and Stephen Ward was way ahead of his time, so brave in how he lived his life and expressed himself, his sexual tastes, his flirting with cross-dressing, in a world that was still incredibly repressed.

“And the final reckoning was that Stephen Ward had somehow corrupted these Tory ministers and it was all his fault, which is absurd.”

I wonder if Norton, the son of a retired college lecturer and a mother who taught medical ethics, is as dazzled by the truly posh as Ward was.

“Wealth or class are not things that I’m particularly dazzled by,” he says. “I am by talent.” He cites Little Women director Greta Gerwig and her partner Noah Baumbach, who made Netflix’s Marriage Story, as an example.

Norton himself is part of a powerhouse acting couple, with British star Imogen Poots, whom he became close to when they starred together in a play in 2017. They seem very happy. “It’s good,” he says, but adds, “my personal life is very normal, I have a house in Peckham, my [parents] live in Yorkshire. There's very little glamour and scandal.”

There was a little bit of the latter when his previous girlfriend, actress Jessie Buckley, said their break-up had been “acrimonious”, but Norton is far too canny to add fuel to that particular fire.

Similarly, he won’t comment on the rumours linking him to James Bond, insisting they are “based on nothing”. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have strong opinions on the series in general.

“We all know that with James Bond, large parts of it, and all the versions of it in the past, are now antiquated and it needs to be updated,” he says. “And I think that Barbara Broccoli and the producers are very aware of that. Bringing in people like Phoebe Waller-Bridge can only help.”

Might the spy be a little too one-dimensional for someone who has taken on so many interesting parts? Daniel Craig, who is stepping aside after the latest film No Time To Die comes out in April, has often seemed unhappy with the role.

“If I was to take on a franchise,” Norton says, “I would always want to complement it with something completely different.”

He has just taken on a big HBO sci-fi series, The Nevers, he says, and is in negotiations with the BBC about doing a second series of McMafia. We chat about the fact that the first series attracted a measure of criticism, including some for his own performance as Alex Godman, the scion of a Russian mafia family drawn reluctantly into the underworld. “There was an article about the three wooden faces of James Norton,” he says with a laugh.

How did he take it?

“It’s a rite of passage that you have [bad reviews],” he replies. “Ultimately, it’s an art form which is deeply subjective and you’re never going to please everyone.” The character was intended to be “inscrutable and calcified”, he adds. Nevertheless, he admits he might play it slightly differently second time around.

“Yeah, possibly,” he says. “But, then again, you don’t want to pander to the people who didn’t like it. There's so much content out there that people who don't like it can go and find something else.”

One of the factors that Norton and director James Watkins agreed upon when sketching out Godman’s background was his public school education. Norton is a public school boy too; a former pupil of Ampleforth, the leading Catholic boarding school which was found to have covered up the sexual abuse of scores of children in a devastating report in 2018.

Norton never saw any wrongdoing during his time there, but does admit to being “quite badly bullied” and credits one of the monks - a Father Peter - with helping him get through it. “I was able to go and just talk to him and he basically became my therapist,” says Norton. “I just sort of sobbed my eyes out.”

Has it left a mark? “It probably has a bit,” he says. “It’s not defined me, but it has informed who I am. I’m hyper aware if someone is being in any way ostracised on a film set, for example.”

On Little Women, he found himself on set with some of the industry’s biggest names, including Saoirse Ronan, Timothée Chalamet, Meryl Streep and Laura Dern. The film’s a deliriously romantic and sentimental take on the novel’s sibling rivalries, but it takes its duty to Louisa May Alcott’s study of the economic subjection of women seriously. “It's important for us to go back to those punctuation marks in the struggle towards equality and recognise how far we've come, but also how we're not quite there yet,” Norton says.

He and Watson were given the task of writing their own marriage vows for the film, which he says he laboured over but arrived with them unfinished to discover that Watson had already written hers and they were beautiful. He was just young enough to read the early Harry Potter books, he notes, but has only seen a couple of the films – “Don’t tell Emma.”

He plays Chalamet’s tutor – did he fancy the 23-year-old as everyone else seems to right now? He smiles. “He’s a beguiling and bizarre, unique force of nature,” he says. Norton had been wondering about wearing a suit to today’s photoshoot, but is glad he didn’t as he’s just bumped into the younger man in a Gorillaz tee-shirt and sunglasses. “Whenever he’s around, I feel about 10 years older than I am.”

Among all its bold women, I wonder if his own character – John Brooke – is just a teeny bit dull. He laughs. “He’s a little quieter than some of the other characters, but that allowed me to just witness all these great women actors. It was incredible.”

There’s certainly nothing dull or quiet about the character he plays in the film Mr Jones, which is released in February. It’s the surprisingly little-known story of Gareth Jones, the journalist who uncovered the Holodomor – the man-made famine genocide inflicted by the Soviet Union upon Ukraine in 1932-33, which is estimated to have killed up to 7.5 million people. “He blew the whistle on the Soviet Union,” says Norton. “He was the first person to go [to Ukraine], and come back and tell the world.”

In the West, the economic crash of 1929 had led to the Great Depression. “Everyone was looking at the Soviet experiment thinking, ‘Oh, it's working’,” Norton says. “They were getting into bed with Stalin and trade deals were being made. And no one was calling them out. Until this one serious, bespectacled, earnest Welsh journalist got on a train and risked his life to blow the whistle.”

I wonder if those types of films can command a big enough audience to keep getting made? He accepts that independent cinema is in a period of shrinkage, but says, “while the audience for this type of film might not be as big as a Marvel movie, we have to protect those stories because film isn't just about escapism. It's also about education.”

[lustafters-a]

a very, very extensive list of ships i’d love to write with the faceclaims i happen to have. bold means i can play said faceclaim !  lots of them are ,,, pretty wild, truthfully . i just got way too into this .

taron egerton x colin firth

taron egerton x jamie bell 

taron egerton x richard madden

joseph morgan x leah pipes

joseph morgan x candice king

joseph morgan x phoebe tonkin 

nico mirallegro x sharon rooney

nico mirallegro x jodie comer

nico mirallegro x russell tovey

nico mirallegro x hayley atwell 

daniel gilles x phoebe tonkin

finn cole x molly gordon

finn cole x asa butterfield 

finn cole x margot robbie

tom hardy x cillian murphy 

tom hardy x michelle williams 

tom hardy x charlotte riley

tom hardy x annabelle wallis

tom hardy x jack lowden

tom hardy x chris pine

katherine langford x ross butler

katherine langford x alisha boe

katherine langford x dylan minnette 

katherine langford x alexandra shipp

cobie smulders x jake johnson

cobie smulders  x chris evans 

henry golding x emilia clarke 

henry golding x constance wu

ross butler x zendaya

ross butler x noah centineo 

rami malek x ben hardy

rami malek x joseph mazzello

rami malek x gwilym lee 

joe alwyn x emma stone 

joe alwyn x margot robbie 

paul bettany x jennifer connnelly 

keanu reeves x winona ryder 

gwilym lee x joseph mazzello

gwilym lee x ben hardy

alvaro rico x ester exposito 

alvaro rico x aron piper

alvaro rico x miguel bernardeau

aaron taylor-johnson x elizabeth olsen

aaron taylor-johnson x karen gillan

aaron taylor-johnson x thomas brodie sangster 

colin firth x hugh grant 

colin firth x emma thompson 

sam claflin x lily collins

sam claflin x emilia clarke 

sam claflin x tom glynn carney 

sam claflin x max irons

sam claflin x douglas booth

sam claflin x natalie dormer 

josh dylan x jeremy irvine 

josh dylan x lily james

michael b jordan x tessa thompson

michael b jordan x zendaya 

khylin rhambo x dylan sprayberry

khylin rhambo x michael johnston

trevante rhodes x andre holland

henry cavill x armie hammer 

henry cavill x jason momoa

henry cavill x amy adams 

henry cavill x gal gadot 

henry cavill x elizabeth debicki

brett dier x haley lu richardson

brett dier x gina rodriguez 

james norton x imogen poots 

james norton x jessie buckley 

james norton x lily james 

james norton x eleanor tomlinson

joe keery x charlie heaton

joe keery x natalia dyer 

joe keery x dacre montgomery

jason sudeikis x olivia wilde 

jason sudeikis x charlie day 

aubrey joseph x olivia holt 

chadwick boseman x danai gurira

chadwick boseman x lupita nyong'o

ella purnell x asa butterfield

ella purnell x fionn whitehead 

ella purnell x tom holland 

ella purnell x tom sturridge 

armie hammer x timothee chalamet 

armie hammer x alicia vikander

armie hammer x lily collins 

armie hammer x felicity jones 

alex hogh andersen x katheryn winnick

alex hogh andersen x georgia hirst 

alex hogh andersen x alicia agneson

luke benward x olivia holt

luke benward x danielle macdonald

luke benward x dove cameron

tom hiddleston x brie larson 

tom hiddleston x jessica chastain 

david harbour x winona ryder 

ansel elgort x aneurin barnard 

ansel elgort x lily james

tom holland x jake gyllenhaal

tom holland x letitia wright 

tom holland x laura harrier

tom holland x daisy ridley 

paul rudd x jennifer aniston 

paul rudd x evangeline lilly 

paul rudd x sebastian stan 

matthew daddario x harry shum jr 

matthew daddario x kat mcnamara

david tennant x billie piper 

david tennant x karen gillan 

jack lowden x saoirse ronan 

jack lowden x aneurin barrnard 

jack lowden x margot robbie 

allen leech x tuppence middleton

allen leech x  jessica brown-findlay

allen leech x matthew goode

elizabeth olsen x chris evans 

elizabeth olsen x sebastian stan 

sydney sweeney x jacob eldori 

sydney sweeney x alexa demie 

kathryn newton x kristine froseth 

kathryn newton x olivia dejonge 

kathryn newton x natasha liu bordizzo

brie larson x gemma chan 

brie larson x lashana lynch

brie larson x zachary levi

brie larson x alicia vikander 

tuppence middleton x callum turner 

tuppence middleton x brian j smith 

rachel keller x dan stevens 

billie piper x gemma chan

marilyn lima x michel biel

emilia clarke x kit harington 

jamie dornan x cillian murphy 

hugh jackman x michelle williams 

hugh jackman x jake gyllenhaal 

hugh jackman x james mcavoy

hugh jackman x ryan reynolds 

logan lerman x alexandra daddario 

logan lerman x lily collins 

logan lerman x selena gomez

logan lerman x emma watson

jake gyllenhaal x tom sturridge 

jake gyllenhaal x sebastian stan

chris pine x gal gadot 

chris pine x reese witherspoon 

chris pine x emily blunt

chris pine x anne hathaway

chris pine x gugu mbatha raw 

lily james x matt smith

lily james x jeremy irvine

rachel mcadams x matthew goode 

rachel mcadams x ryan gosling 

rachel mcadams x domhnall gleeson

rachel mcadams x cillian murphy

chris evans x sebastian stan

chris evans x robert downey jr 

jacob eldori x alexa demie 

max irons x douglas booth 

max irons x emily browning 

max irons x holliday grainger 

max irons x samantha barks 

noah centineo x kristine froseth 

noah centineo x ariana grande 

noah centineo x alexis ren 

noah centineo x lily collins 

mark ruffalo x reese witherspoon 

mark ruffalo x robert downey jr 

bradley simpson x shawn mendes 

bradley simpson x sabrina carpenter 

aidan turner x eleanor tomlinson

aidan turner x russel tovey

aidan turner x lenora crichlow

alex fitzalan x kristine froseth 

alex fitzalan x toby wallace 

alex fitazalan x natasha liu bordizzo

damien molony x johnathan bailey 

damien molony x michael socha 

damien molony x michelle keegan

chance perdomo x tati gabrielle

chance perdomo x gavin leatherwood 

joseph mazzello x sebastian stan

joseph mazzello x lucy boynton

adele exarchopoulos  x lea seydoux 

charlize theron x emily blunt 

charlize theron x jessica chastain

margot robbie x saoirse ronan

margot robbie x cara delevingne

margot robbie x alexander skarsgard 

naomi scott x dacre montgomery 

naomi scott x mena massoud

ashley benson x tyler blackburn 

ashley benson x  cara delevingne

jennifer morrison x lana parrilla

jennifer morison x colin o’donoghue 

dan stevens x michelle dockery 

dan stevens x emma watson

timothy olyphant x drew barrymore 

max riemelt x tina desai

max riemelt x brian j smith

max riemelt x miguel angel silvestre

tom glynn carney x nicholas hoult 

tom glynn carney x harry styles

tom glynn carney x fionn whitehead

tom glynn carney x anthony boyle

chace crawford x blake lively

zac efron x zendaya

zac efron x lily collins 

robert pattinson x suki waterhouse 

tyler young x james paxton

bill skarsgard x landon liboiron 

asa butterfield x maisie williams

asa butterfield x britt robertson

asa butterfield x emma mackey 

james d’arcy x hayley atwell 

james d’arcy x ben whishaw

herman tommeraas x lisa teige

herman tommeraas x thomas hayes

kj apa x madelaine petsch 

kj apa x britt robertson 

kj apa x casey scott

fionn whitehead x aneurin barnard 

jessica chastain x emily blunt 

jessica chastain x anne hathaway

zachary levi x yvonne strahovski

zachary levi x mandy moore

zachary levi x benton thwaites 

devon bostick x lily collins 

dvon bostick x peyton list

john krasinski x jenna fischer 

jamie bell x kate mara 

tom ellis x james mcavoy 

tom ellis x  lesley ann brandt

tom ellis x aimee garcia

tom ellis x jensen ackles

tom ellis x kevin alejandro

douglas booth x bel powley 

douglas booth x gemma chan

douglas booth x ellie bamber 

douglas booth x iwan rheon

matthew goode x jamie dornan

matthew goode x teresa palmer

anthony boyle x sam clemmett

sebastian stan x anthony mackie 

sebastian stan x jessica chastain

sebastian stan x tom hiddleston

sebastian stan x dianna agron 

sebastian stan x chris hemsworth 

robert downey jr x jude law

robert sheehan x antonia thomas

robert sheehan x david castaneda

robert sheehan x jamie campbell bower

robert sheehan x iwan rheon

robert sheehan x sofia boutella

robert sheehan x david tennant 

tom hughes x sophie cookson

michiel huisman x blake lively

michiel huisman x gugu mbatha raw 

michiel huisman x teresa palmer 

michiel huisman x tatiana maslany 

aneurin barnard x iwan rheon

aneurin barnard x karen gillan

aneurin barnard x natalie dormer 

aneurin barnard x jodie comer 

aneurin barnard x sophie cookson

aneurin barnard x freya mavor

jon hamm x january jones

jon hamm x michael sheen

jon hamm x dakota johnson

jon hamm x eiza gonzalez

chris hemsworth x tessa thompson

dacre montgomery x courtney eaton

callum turner x vanessa kirby

thomas hayes x josefine pettersen

gavin leatherwood x abigail cowen

gavin leatherwood x ross lynch

gavin leatherwood x kiernan shipka

gavin leatherood x jaz sinclair

donald glover x rihanna 

donald glover x alison brie

ryan reynolds x andrew garfield 

ryan reynolds x blake lively 

winston duke x lupita nyong'o

anthony mackie x frank grillo

ben barnes x andrew garfield

ben barnes x emma watson

sophie turner x asa butterfield

ewan mcgregor x jude law

ewan mcgregor x gugu mbatha raw

boyd holbrook x pedro pascal

ross lynch x jaz sinclair

ross lynch x courtney eaton 

ross lynch x abigail cowen 

lyndsy fonseca x hayley atwell

alycia debnam-carey x eliza taylor

alycia debnam-carey x maia mitchell 

alycia debnam-carey x daniel sharman 

leighton meester x adam brody

leighton meester x blake lively

leighton meester x penn badgley

lauren german x lesley ann brandt

lauren german x aimee garcia 

kristine froseth x olivia dejonge

joe gilgun x michelle keegan

joe gilgun x ruth negga

joe gilgun x dominic cooper

joe gilgun x karla crome 

blake lively x penn badgley 

blake lively x gigi hadid 

daniel sharman x frank dillane

daniel sharman x bradley james

daniel sharman x gregg sulkin

jensen ackles x sophia bush

jensen ackles x misha collins 

oliver jackson-cohen x jessica de gouw

jeffrey dean morgan x hilarie burton

vanessa morgan x madelaine petsch 

brandon flynn x miles heizer 

brandon flynn x richard madden 

odeya rush x timothee chalamet 

lily collins x nicholas hoult 

rachel weisz x rachel mcadams 

rachel weisz x emma stone 

sean berdy x jack mulhern 

sean berdy x gideon adlon

tom austen x alexandra park

miles heizer x nick robinson 

toby wallace x olivia de jonge (but cute)

joel kinnaman x olivia munn 

luke hemmings x ashton irwin

luke hemmings x callum hood

luke hemmings x michael clifford 

dominic cooper x gemma chan

gregg sulkin and sophie turner

gregg sulkin x katie stevens 

gregg sulkin x danielle campbell

richard madden x gemma chan

zendaya x trevor jackson

alicia vikander x bill skarsgard

alicia vikander x eddie redmayne

alicia vikander x kit harington

[frcgmcnted]

I’ M  L O O K I N G for long term writing partners! someone who’s interested in eventually plotting multiple pairings ( though i don’t mind starting with just one ). i’d like someone who’ll come in with an open mind, listen to what i have to say, as well as contribute to the plotting. i want us both to be excited for our plot(s) !! below will be: face claims i enjoy ( there’s a huge list ), pairings i like, as well as a list of general plots/setting. be sure to read my rules before interacting. if interested either like this or im me and we can get plotting !!

face claims ( bold are ones i like playing the most, italic and bold are ones i like playing against ): 

jessica henwick, danielle campbell, nina dobrev, stella maeve, summer bishil, meghan ory, phoebe tonkin, amber heard, jenna coleman, lucy hale, crystal reed, alicia vikander, sofia carson, cierra ramirez, maia mitchell, alycia debnam-carey, dominique provost chalkley, jenny boyd, kaylee bryant, olivia holt, candice patton, paulina singer, adria arjona, candice king, vanessa morgan,lili rienhart, gemma chan, danielle rose russell, elizabeth henstridge, chloe bennet, virginia gardner, alisha wainwright, lulu antariksa, courtney eaton, charlotte best, maria gabriela de faria, becky g, willa fitzgerald, nathalie kelley, sasha pieterse, constance wu, lana condor, inbar lavi, camila mendes, sophia bush, haley lu richardson, emma mackey, aisha dee, eiza gonzalez, zoey deutch, elizabeth olsen, imogen poots, brianne tju, conor leslie, deborah ann woll, claire holt, melisa pamuk, ana de armas, laura harrier, jade tailor, lindsey morgan, madelaine petsch, kristine froseth, kehlani parrish, anne winters, maya hawke, alexa demie, odeya rush, demet ozdemir, katheryn newton,  scarlett byrne, barbie ferreira, natasha liu bordizzo, florence pugh, sydney sweeney, jeanine mason

ben barnes, jon bernthal, skeet ulrich, jeffrey dean morgan, cody christian, charlie hunnam, jason momoa, ben robson, clayton cardenas, danny pino, nathan parsons, michael trevino, noah centineo, andrew lincoln, daniel gillies, elliot fletcher, joseph morgan, keith powers, casey deidrick, charles michael davis, kj apa, brandon thwaites, chris wood, brett dalton, manny montana, finn cole, kieynan lonsdale, matthew daddario, tom holland, grant gustin, dj controna, luke mitchell, trevonte rhodes, charles melton, alberto rosende, tommy martinez, logan shroyer, alexander skarsgård, michael b. jordan, jensen ackles, dev patel, bob morley, jamie dornan, henry golding, robert sheehan, sam claflin, herman tømmeraas, jordan rodrigues, rob raco, peter gadiot, aubrey joseph, penn badgley, tom ellis, francois arnaud, colin o'donoghue, ryan guzman, sean teale, josh dallas, chance perdomo, avan jogia, rafael de la fuente, michael evans behling, alex fitzalan, aria shahghasemi, douglas booth, gavin leatherwood, ross lynch, joe dempsie, tyler posey, jared padalecki

pairings i enjoy playing / wanna try out ( bold is my preferred face claim ), theses are in no way the only pairings i like, these are just the ones off the top of my head: 

jeffrey dean morgan x elizabeth olsen

ben barnes x crystal reed

jason momoa x alycia debnam carey

danielle campbell x alexa demie

ben barnes x tom ellis

jeffrey dean morgan x lucy hale

alexa demie x sydney sweeney

charlie hunnam x nina dobrev

robert sheehan x avan jogia

jeffrey dean morgan x lily james

olivia cuplo x jason momoa

sofia carson x kaylee bryant

olivia holt x finn cole

jeffrey dean morgan x crystal reed

cierra ramirez x clayton cardenas

jason momoa x adria arjona

tyler posey x tyler blackburn

sydney sweeney x finn cole

plot types i enjoy:  

age gaps ( from domestic to angsty )

anything apocalyptic ( preference for the walking dead style zombie apocalypse )

motorcycle clubs ( with or without a crime aspect ) 

small town murder mystery ( with younger or older muses )

anything supernatural based ( vampires and werewolves are my favorites )

familial drama ( something based off of shameless us? ) 

organized crime ( mafias, cartels, or something small scale ) 

darker plots in general ( violence, more “toxic” dynamics, etc )

college plots ( coming of age, partying, all that angst )

anything set in a small town ( from domestic to angsty )

mythology things (  i’m more well versed with greek myths )

1920s or 1980s setting ( my two favorite time periods )

anything “forbidden” ( boss/employee, best friend’s brother, cheating, etc )

[kirigirisurecordings]

Lamppukello - Maalari Maki 00:00

Charles Mingus - Free Cell Block F, ’Tis Nazi USA 01:17

Shareholder - Quit 08:09

Territorial Gobbing - Heart Of Snarkness 12:43

Mods & Rockers - Bradford Beach Riot 15:15

Divan Gasparyan - Koon Yeghir 23:11

Meredith Monk - Fields, Clouds 26:30

Luke Poot - Poot Interview 28:50

Damian Biscoglia - A, E Ahh, O, Eww, Closed Eye Baby Swiss 32:00

Edward Lear read by Murray Lachlan Young - An Alphabet’ poem 34:03

Pointer Sisters - Sesame Street 1970’s Pinball Animation 38:18

Chris Corsano - Solo unreleased audience recording 41:00

Milford Graves - Nothing 13 47:16

Pleasure Drenching Improvers - bacs IIASION rEPLICA 52:24

Ros Sereysothea - Old Pot Still Cooks Good Rice 56:50 Sleeve Notes: Guess there is something in here about innocence and freedom.  The Lamppukello track is probably my favorite bit of recorded music ever.  It's just so joyful and perfect.  I'm a total sucker for jazz and most of the music listened to in the house with the family is jazz. Been on a deep Mingus trip for the last few years and this is my fave at the moment.  It's not the wildest jam but is has that wonderful swagger you get with Mingus. Shareholder was a great solo project from Sandy Millroy in Edinburgh, later a three-piece band.  They had that falling-apart vibe I love in things like Dead C and The Fall and unfortunately fell apart themselves a few years ago.  Theo from Territorial Gobbing is a giggly whirlwind and I got the chance to hang out a bit with him last year.  I love his approach to music making, all very natural and unpretentious and full of positive energy. The Mods & Rockers track is in my top 5 fave things of all time.  Not exactly sure who this is - possibly Dean Glasiter in Gateshead, maybe Filthy Turd - I dunno - whoever it is they are keeping tight-lipped and have done for years.  It's a totally daft idea and seen right through to the end with a grim determination - but at the same time it's totally dreamy and indistinct.  A keeper.  I think it's a dudluk that Djivan Gasparayn plays  - a central European flute but often described as the saddest sound in the world.  I'm a newcomer to Meredith Monk although this is quite old.  It's just wonderful and again has that central European vibe that I find quite mysterious.  The Poot track is probably from a radio interview from a Manchester pop-up radio station that Luke guested on a few times.  Or it could be from one of the Choc Monk releases?  Whatever it's a great snapshot of the time Poot was at the top of his vocal jaxx game.  This Damian Bisciglia recording is another mystery.  Someone has gone to great lengths to make it look like a 'proper' release but it's not at all.  It's certainly Biscigila's material but why send it to me?  All explained here https://radiofreemidwich.wordpress.com/tag/damian-bisciglia/ No surprise - I love nonsense and Lear's nonsense poetry.  This is ripped from youtube and features posh-o poet Murray Lachlan Young really going to town on it.  Used to play this to the kids in the car and it got so much air time they ended up loathing it so playing it now always seems a bit rebellious.  The Pointer Sisters track is another youtube rip and was the funky backing track to some learn-to-count animation on Sesame Street in the 70's. The Chris Corsano track is an audience recording from a gig i went to about a decade back.  Chris is ON FIRE and this was the encore; he played blown-out organ like Alice Coltrane with one hand and drums with the other.  Remarkable. I put on a Milford Graves film a few years ago at TUSK and got really into his loose and brittle style.  This is a great example and hopefully a nice bridge between Corsano and Pleasure Drenching Improvers.  I saw PDI in a library years ago and they absolutely twisted my head.  I'd been using a Dictaphone for a little while but seeing THF Drenching play it so brazenly and freely gave me the courage to do the same.  Sonic Pleasure on house bricks too!  To finish off a lovely bit of Cambodian Pop, Ros Serey Sother is another house favorite and perfect 'getting ready to go out' music. So damn saucy!

[peculiarmindset]

A game of twister after Mexican food... all I’m gonna say 😏

*Hahaha….Yeah, no other words are really needed 😂

The Taco Bell Fart - Far richer and full-bodied than your ordinary Junk Fart and takes longer to build up. Sometimes hours or even a day. But it will get there. And it will hang around after, too. Even on a windy day.  

“I got it!” Victor said cheerfully as he entered the room, twister game in hand.

Chris and Phichit were staying over at Victor and Yuuri’s place during their off season.

Their best friends had arrived last night and after getting a full night of rest, they were up and ready to tour around Russia the next morning.

They had a delicious breakfast at Victor’s favorite cafe and then they all piled into the Russian’s pink convertible and roamed the entire city of St. Petersburg.

They had been so busy sightseeing that they ending up getting takeout from some random Taco Bell nearby (“There’s a Taco Bell in Russia too?!” Phichit exclaimed in amazement) and quickly devoured their meals before heading off to their next destination in their itinerary.

Now the four friends were relaxing together in the Victor and Yuuri’s living room, bellies full with warm wine and some of the leftover burritos they had bought earlier, as they told each other stories from the past.

Somehow, one thing led to another and now they were about to play a classic game of Twister because of some old misunderstanding about how flexible Victor truly was (to this day, Yuuri still doesn’t know anyone by the name of Chihoko).

“Okay! Everyone except the winner has to strip out of their clothes and run around the whole street while singing Beautiful by Christina Aguilera at the top of their lungs.” Chris suggested.

“No!” The other three shouted back. Yeah, they might have done equally crazy things like that in the past (especially while drunk) but none of them were keen on getting arrested that night.

“What about the losers having to buy the winner whatever ONE thing they want at the mall tomorrow, no matter the price.” Phichit suggested. He’s been wanting a new phone lately and it helped that he was surrounded by the world’s top ice skaters whose wallets were obviously far from empty.

“Fine, lets go with the boring option then.” Chris sighed, feeling only halfway disappointed that his own idea was shot down. He started to think about a certain sex swing he had saw at the sex store earlier and it wouldn’t hurt to get it for free.

“Okay, so the rules are simple. If you mess up and fall, you lose. Last one in position wins. Deal?” Phichit informed them. When everyone agreed, the Thai man nodded, “Let’s do rock paper scissors to choose who goes first.”

Afterwards, the positions from first to last went as: Chris, Phichit, Victor and Yuuri in last.

“Let’s do this, shall we gentlemen?” Chris grinned as he stretched his body, warming up.

For the spinner, Phichit downloaded an app that actually had the spinner on it and would automatically yell out the instructions every 30 seconds- this meant that no one needed to sit out as everyone would be able to play.

*Right hand, Green.* The automated voice called out. “Hm, I can’t fault this position, really.” Chris winked, placing his right hand on the blue circle, bending down and wiggling his butt at the others.

*Right foot, yellow.* “Okay, this is me!” Phichit said excitedly, doing as told.

*Left hand, green.* “Ah, hello Chris.” Victor purred as they were now facing each other.

*Left foot, red.* “Awww, why are you so far from me, Yuuri!” Victor pouted as his fiancé stepped on the furthest circle from him.“

"Sorry, Victor.” Yuuri apologized, giving the Russian a smile.

The game went on and the others went and stretched out their limbs as they had to maneuver around each other to get to their designated circles.

Chris and Victor were almost butt to butt while Phichit was beside Chris and Yuuri was luckily off in his own corner, not yet tangled up with anyone.

*Left foot, red.* Chris had to spread out his legs a bit in order for his foot to reach the circle. But as he did this, his butt accidentally let out a rather loud spluttering fart.

Prrrrrrrrtttttttttt!

“Chris!” Victor bursted out laughing.

“Oops?” The Swiss man smirked as he got into position. “Pardon me, everyone!”

As the game went on, they all realized that it wasn’t just Chris who would have to let out a bit of gas here and there.

Pffffffttttt!

“My bad!” Phichit yelled out when he had let out a bit of a zipper fart as he reached down to touch the blue circle with his left hand.

Brrrrrrrrrrrrttttttttttttt!

“Ooh….I shouldn’t have eaten that last burrito.” Victor groaned as he let out his own fart as he had to reach his leg over to the yellow circle.

Prrrttt!

“Sorry!” Yuuri squeaked, his face blushing a hot red as he let out a cute little poot himself when he had to reach for the red circle.

“Ughhh….eating Taco Bell BEFORE playing twister is like the worst idea ever!” Phichit groaned, shaking his head at all their stupidity.

Prrrrrrrttttttt!

“Chris!” Both Victor and Phichit yelled at the same time as Chris let out a huge fart, his butt right next to their heads.

“Those nachos are really ripping me a new one.” Chris sighed, unable to hold in his gas as another fart sounded out.

“Yuuri, move away quick! I about to-” Luckily, Yuuri ducked his head as soon as he heard his fiancé’s warning, because Victor immediately let out a loud wet fart even before he could finish talking.

BRRRRRRRTTTTT!….PRRRRRRTT!…

“Oh god…” Victor groaned in relief, releasing his farts without a care in the world.

“Ughhh….it really stinks in here!” Chris coughed, trying to bury his nose in his shoulder since his hands were unavailable.

“You’re also one of the people who contributed to the smell!” Victor defended himself, still letting out a few farts.

BRRRT!

“Yeah, I know. I’ve been farting nonstop!” Chris gasped as he let out a particularly sharp fart then.

“Maybe we should stop the game?” Yuuri chimed in, letting out gas himself, his face a permanent red now.

Phichit quickly refused. “No! If we stop now, then I won’t be able to get my new phone!”

Pprrrrrrttt!

“Phichit!” Yuuri yelled, blushing as his butt blasted out more wind again. “You better not be talking about that $900 phone!” He scolded.

Brrrttt!

“Of course I’m talking about that phone!” Phichit sang back. “So we are not stopping until I win and get my new Samsung!”

Chris chuckled as a few poots left his ass. “I’m sorry ma cherie, but the only one who will be winning this shall be moi.”

After that, the four continued to play on. But this time there was at least a fart going off every ten seconds as none of them could hold in their gas any longer, even if they tried.

And the longer they played, the more the coughing and gagging went on as the stench of rotting Mexican food filled the room.

Frrrrrrtttttt!

“You did that on purpose!” Yuuri accused his best friend, head butting the other in the butt.

“It’s not my fault that I forgot you were there.” Phichit teased, actually knowing very well how the Japanese man had been right behind him when he had let another fart out.

“How can we still be so gassy! We had eaten the Mexican food hours ago!” Yuuri sighed as he let out a hissing fart.

“Maybe the food in our stomachs had festered there for hours before finally letting loose now?” Phichit offered.

“Eww, well the smell seems to have become worse too.” Victor whined, grossed out when he swore that he could feel Chris’s farts on his hip.

PPPRRRRRRTTT!

“Ohhhh….that one felt good.” Chris sighed, letting out a huge wet-sounding fart right then.

The group played on until they looked like tangled up gassy pretzels on the mat. The smell in the room was downright atrocious, but all the skaters were too proud and stubborn to give up now.

After almost 40 minutes of playing, the game finally came to an end.

*Right foot, blue*

BRRRRRRAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPP!

When someone lifted their leg to place their foot on the designated circle, they had purposely made sure to position their butt in the dead center where the other three were crowding around. And right there was when they had let out the largest and smelliest fart of the night.

“UGHHHHH!” As soon as Chris and Yuuri fell down, losing their positions, they quickly got back up and raced towards the toilet, not even caring that they had lost.

Victor also fell over, but he wasn’t desperate- yet- for the bathroom like his fiancé and best friend had.

Instead, the Russian only curled into himself like a ball and moaned as he pushed out the rest of his gas.

The winner of the entire game, Phichit, grinned happily to himself as he sat in the middle of the mat, an aura of a king around him.

The Thai skater stayed there as he looked through his ‘now old’ phone to research exactly what type of phone he wanted for his prize, freely and happily letting out the rest of his own gas the entire time as well.

And later on that night and even the next day, the smell of their Taco Bell meal still lingered strongly in the house- even with all the windows wide open.

[bmwiid]

Dayum dude!! I love the Pokemon AU!! Especially Chowder's training behind his back...? Ugh, that's just so Chris!! >_

George has an Arbok - he’s oversized and fast as hell and if anyone gives her shit, he rises up behind her like “try it, buddy” and shitty reporters know he *will* shoot venom at the camera and melt it if they don’t start being a lil more respectful. She finds this hilarious because at home he’s a lazy shit that hogs the bed and the whole damn couch. 

Tater has an Arcanine. It’s actually fully evolved but isn’t much bigger than the Growlith puppy when he first got it. His mum jokes that all the growing went to Tater and not to his pokemon. He plans on getting another Growlith soon but he wants to make sure that shchenok (he still calls him puppy!) would be okay with that as she’s a bit territorial over him.  

Snowy has an Ivysaur who shoots leaves at him to help with him blocking pucs. There is a joke around the locker room that “Sauce” is the 7th man on the ice because of this. He totally has a ritual before every game where Sauce has to carefully apply his eyeliner with his vines. 

Marty leaves his pokemon at home when he’s on the road because he feels like he can look after Gabby when he’s not there. They knew that they were gonna be happy together when they started dating because he has a Nidoking and she had a Nidoqueen. They are planning on breeding them when Marty retires. 

Thirdy alternates on bringing his kids pokemon with him on roadies, so he’ll have an Oddish on week and a squirtle the next. His pokemon is a Beedril, who is the definition of a ‘helicopter mom’ to the lil pokemon. 

Poots has a Wheezing - during the interview when he got his nickname of poots, it was actually his pokemon. Everyone knows this, but the chirping is far too good to give up. They call Wheezing ‘lil poots’ and he’s a bit of a practical joker. He plays most of his tricks on Poots - who pretends to be pissed but secretly loves that his pokemon is so damn funny. 

(I don’t know anything about pokemon past the first 150, I’m sorry)

[pandapupremade]

this game is gonna kill me i think i have a crush on ANOTHER character in it

[aconites]

hello!  since i’m finally feeling better after my surgery, i have a ton of muse to write and i’m looking for new partners and friends who are interested in writing with me!  if you want to do threads with someone who will literally message you at 3am with random headcanons, musings and create graphics ( manips, videos, gifs manips, crackships, etc​ )  for our characters — look no further. i also have no triggers, am sm.ut friendly and love to do multiple plots with the same partner. bellow the cut you’ll find a list of wanted faceclaims, opposites, ships and plots that i would love to do and if anything catches your interest please give this post a like and i’ll message you. this is for mutuals & non mutuals, so feel free to like this even if we have threads/plots happening already.

faceclaims i’d love to play!

ana de armas*

florence pugh*

jessica alexander

greta onieogou

simone ashley

phoebe dynevor*

ayca aysin turan*

adelaide kane*

casimere jollette

zion moreno

emily alyn lind

olivia holt

hande ercel*

melisa pamuk*

dakota johnson*

josefine frida pettersen

madelyn cline*

madison bailey

lily james*

lily collins*

alexa demie*

gabriella wilde*

sofia carson

kristine froseth

haley lu richardson

romee strijd

candice swanepoel

natalia dyer

anya taylor joy

laura harrier

nina dobrev*

imogen poots*

minka kelly

madelaine petsch

zoey deutch

camila queiroz*

zendaya

josephine langford*

kaylee bryant

danielle rose russell

halston sage*

emily ratajkowski*

benedetta porcaroli

scarlett leithold

margot robbie*

camila mendes

josefine frida pattersen

danielle campbell*

camila morrone

maia mitchell

alycia debnam-carey

phoebe tonkin*

abigail cowen*

elle fanning

dove cameron

emma mackey

kathryn newton*

faceclaims i’d love to play against!

any of the ladies above.

joseph quinn*

joe keery*

henry cavill**

ben barnes**

jonathan bailey*

clayton cardenas

jd pardo

casey deidrick

rudy pankow*

felix mallard

chase stokes

rege jean-page

andrew garfield

dacre montgomery

david harbour

sebastian stan*

lorenzo zurzolo

alex fitzalan*

dylan o’brien*

nick robinson*

manny montana

chris evans*

jordan connor

casey deidrick *

milo ventimiglia*

tommy martinez *

dj cotrona *

charlie hunnam *

jeffrey dean morgan *

tom hardy

jason momoa

wolfga.ng novogratz*

harry styles

jacob elordi*

giuseppe maggio

ships i’d love to do!

any of the above fcs combined tbh. ( m/f or f/f )

ben barnes & ana de armas*

ben barnes & lily collins*

ben barnes & phoebe tonkin**

ben barnes & adelaide kane ( royal/bridgerton era plot )*

ben barnes & phoebe dynevor  ( royal/bridgerton era plot )**

ben barnes & bruna marquezine  ( royal/bridgerton era plot )**

ben barnes & anya chalotra  ( royal/bridgerton era plot )**

rege jean-page & simone ashley   ( royal/bridgerton era plot )**

rege jean-page  & anya taylor joy  ( royal/bridgerton era plot )

jonathan bailey & simone ashley*  ( royal/bridgerton era plot )

jonathan bailey & lily james***   ( royal/bridgerton era plot )****

henry cavill & adelaide kane**  ( royal/bridgerton era plot )****

henry cavill & jodie comer  ( royal/bridgerton era plot )

daniel charman & adelaide kane  ( royal/bridgerton era plot )*

daniel sharman & jodie comer  ( royal/bridgerton era plot )*

jd pardo & florence pugh

jd pardo & phoebe tonkin*

nick robinson & alexa demie

kristine froseth & joseph quinn*

kristine froseth & joe keery*

danielle campbell & casey deidrick*

casey deidrick & margot robbie

danielle rose russell & danielle campbell

danielle rose russell & kaylee bryant

clayton cardenas & lily james

clayton cardenas &  phoebe tonkin*

hande ercel & can yaman*

dylan o’brien & kristine froseth*

dylan o’brien & danielle rose russell

dylan o’brien & josephine langford

jacob elordi & josephine langford*

dacre montgomery & madelaine petsch

jamie dornan & josephine langford*

henry cavill & dakota johnson*

ana de armas & dj cotrona

rudy pankow & kristine froseth*

felix mallard & kristine froseth

bill skarsgard & madelaine petsch

camila mendes & dj cotrona

lily james & charlie hunnam

dakota johnson & sebastian stan*

sebastian stan & ana de armas&

chris evans & margot robbie

chris evans & ana de armas

ana de armas & manny montana

cindy kimberly & harry styles

chase stokes & madelyn cline*

madison bailey & madelyn cline

dove cameron & sofia carson

benedetta porcaroli & alice pagani*

cindy kimberly & madison beer

kathryn newton & alex fitzalan

manny montana & camila mendes*

hero fiennes tiffin & alexa demie

madison davenport & dj cotrona*

ana de armas & margot robbie*

canon ships i’d love to do!

my marissa cooper ( madelyn cline ) & ryan atwood ( choose his fc )

my serena van der woodsen ( benedetta porcaroli/tba. )  & nate archibald ( choose his fc!)

my blair waldorf ( sofia carson )  & chuck bass ( choose his fc!)

my peyton sawyer ( kathryn newton )  & lucas scott ( choose his fc! )

my hayley james ( zoey deutch)  & nathan scott ( choose his fc! )

my brooke davis ( danielle campbell )  & lucas scott ( choose his fc! )

i also have ocs from fandoms like stranger things that i would love to use.

plots id love to do!

grumpy ceo/soft lil assistant**

royal plots*

bridgerton era plots*

g.ang/c.rime plots**

zombie apocalypse plots

mc/b.iker/sons of anarchy plots!!!!!!***

nanny/single dad**

famous plots!!

best friends to lovers plots ( gimme angsty )

soul mate plots! i have a whole lore for this plot so ..

supernatural plots

best friend’s brother/brother’s best friend heh

age ga.p stuff?  ( both fcs over the age of 21 tho ) **

sugar b.aby / sugar d.addy plots*

bodyguard/client pls!!!!!!**

i really want a plot where a son of a dangerous and feared m.obster is put in charge of managing his father’s stri.p club and falls for one of the dancers.

i need a ‘we’re just about ready to sign off on our divorce papers but oh s.hit wait i think i’m pregnant and i’m a hundred percent certain it’s yours because i’m haven’t been ready to move on inti.mately just yet so maybe…, i guess, maybe we could give this another shot and try falling in love all over again’ plot, pls !

someone give me “you’re my best friend’s innocent little sister and i’ve known you since you were in like 4th grade but somehow you got super f.ucking hot and you live next door and have a habit of dancing in front of your window in your un.derwear.”

muse a is a lone-wolf bi.ker who is constantly on the road with no des.ire to stop … that is until they meet muse b . muse b’s car is broken down on the side of the road and the only person who stopped was muse a . they get to talking and muse a learns muse b is running away from a bitter ex and had to leave everything they owned but the clothes on their back . muse b admits they don’t have a plan but to keep driving , but muse a is unable to walk away and suddenly the need to protect them comes out ~

um, give me a plot where she used to be this s.exy, wild girl and had a bad boy boyfriend to match but when he turned eighteen he was caught for some cr.ime and sent to pris.on for a couple years. he came out fully expecting for her to be waiting for him but when he finds her she’s this prim and proper girl who is dating some pretentious ivy league di.ck. she pretends to be happy with her vanilla, boring relationship, but soon he wraps her up in his world again.

y’all. i need an ‘i’ve got no where to live, so i went to a fancy hotel pretending i’m rich & fancy af, and pretended to be your wife in order to get the key to your room. but please don’t yell and kick me out when you see me laying in your bed with your robe on while watching pay per view on the tv and eating the mini bar snacks. but wait, this works out in your favor? now i have to actually pretend to be your wife so your crazy mother will get off your back about marriage? as long as i get to keep all the clothes you buy me’ plot.

basic plot idea where my muse is kind of cold and unaffectionate with anyone, but is friends with your muse who recently went through a bad breakup. my muse suggests or agrees to fake being in a relationship with your muse to make their ex jealous. but then my muse starts to like the fake relationship a little too much and falls for yours

*whispers* single dad ( hell maybe not so single dad ) & nanny plot. where she’s got the biggest infatuation with him and he’s trying his best to ignore how good she looks in her short skirts and dresses. her “accidentally” bumping into him in nothing but a towel. late nights completely tired after getting the baby to bed and falling asleep on the couch together. her finally showing up in his bedroom in nothing but li.ngerie ;)

but like imagine you and best friend luke are just on his bed tickling each other and play fighting and then suddenly he flips you over onto your back and pins your arms above your head and he’s all smirking because he knows you wont be able to get away and your tshirt is after riding up and he gives you this wicked grin and starts blowing raspberries on your tummy and you’re giggling and squealing telling him to stop because it tickles but he just continues, but soon his raspberries turn into kisses that trail down your stomach towards the hem of your sweatpants and he looks up at you through his eyelashes as if looking for approval and you just nod your head and he starts tugging your sweats down and let’s just say you’re not exactly just friends after**

what about a s.ugar baby plot where she used to be st.ripper/ca.ll girl that is given the opportunity to drop that job in order to be full time for her high paying client. she goes from living pay check to pay check to going on vacations in ex.otic places and drinking the finest of champagne. the lifestyle is almost addicting to her so when he asks her to be his girlfriend she doesn’t think twice?? it isn’t until other girls flirt with him that she realize that feelings might be involved :))

can i pls have a plot where the guy is like a street figh.ter but he’s rly rly good and he’s trying to make an actual career out of it and actually joins a boxing gym to train and fight professional boxers but in comes the worried ex-girlfriend who’s trying to talk him out of everything and they still have feelings for each other but he’s always trying to convince her that he’s no good for her and like pushes her away constantly but he also knows he can’t live without her and she can’t live without him so she eventually decides to support him even though she’s still lowkey against it all so she goes to his fights and stuff and makes him his breakfast and does his laundry and takes care of him but there can be like arguments and lots of crying when he comes home every night with fresh w.ounds and b.ruises!!!!! imagine the angst and tears and kissing and s.ex and yelling pls gimme gimme

someone should give me a plot with this big bad ga.ng leader and his super soft and cute girlfriend that has him wrapped around her finger. like he’s a feared man, which she doesn’t really care about. and she’s there to patch him up and while he usually tries to hide her away from the cruel world he’s in whenever he isn’t there with her, she just patiently waits for him when he’s out and about doing his business and he’s so fascinated by her and no matter how much of a bad guy he is, he’s just so soft for her and he’d do anything for her!!! and then his most precious possession gets k.dnaped and shit goes down snsnsns

an actor or musician who kno.cks up a one night s.tand/fling while he’s shooting on location/on tour and they decide to keep the baby and co-parent platonically but she wants their kid to have a normal life so they keep their baby a secret from the press. they manage this for years, him flying out to visit when he can but he starts to get more famous and people start digging into his past and they’re exposed and have to deal with the fall out and also!! possible!! feelings!! for each other!!

i just want a plot where muse a has been in this friends with ben.efits thing with muse b bc they both just wanted to lose their v.irginity already (they’ve been neighbours and fwb since they were sixteen) and now he became a manwh.ore. they are completely different at college (i thought of a bad boy/”good” girl kinda thing) but when muse a says she wants it to stop bc she wants to try to have a real relationship with someone else, muse b realises he doesn’t want it to end bc he rlly likes her ??? and hes still such a dick but he starts to give her more attention at uni to try to manipulate her to stay bc she’s the realest thing he’s ever had and he just doesn’t know how to stop the whole bad boy persona !!give it to me pls

give me the cliche - good girl falls in love with bad boy/girl/non-binary, her parents despise him and fo.rbid her from seeing him/her/them ( all romeo & juliet style ), so the two run away to vegas and get married in a 24 hour chapel by an elvis impersonator. queue extra angst, s.exual tension, cheesy honeymoon suites with heart shaped beds. yes yes yes.

please an arranged marriage between two socilaite families/ big names in their city. but like she’s still stuck in the party stage and f.ucking up because she’s upset with her parents or unhappy with her life and he’s dealing with a lot of pressure and stress from his family to take over the family bussiness and it’s just two polar opposites but it could be super cute sometimes when she gets super d.runk and he picks her up and hold her hair back when she thro.ws up and stays up to give her a glass of water and make sure she sleeps well even though he has a huge meeting in the morning that he should be resting for. but also the angst and the fights and the ‘i didnt ask for this’ and making each other jealous and se..xual tension and fcuk pls

okay so when is someone gonna give me a ship where’s its a professional athlete (probs football) and an actress/singer and they’re dating or maybe married but they’re total goals and so supportive of each others careers and are constantly posting about each other on social media and they might not always be able to be together but she goes to his games when she’s around and looks super cute in his jersey and he’s always going to her premieres/concerts and i just need celebrity power couples

i’m craving a plot where a girl matches up with her best friends brother on t.inder and every time she sleeps over from then on she sneaks into his room to spend the night after the best friend has fallen asleep like please and thank you

someone give me a thread where this rich dude falls for the normal down to earth girl nd introduces her to his world full of private jets nd yachts nd all that stuff and yes please *

no but gimme a plot where the girl’s a m.ob boss’s daughter, and the boy is a cop fresh outta the academy and he doesn’t realize that the girl he’s been flirting with is the daughter of the guy he’s trying to get behind bars.

plot: rich business man tries out a c.all girl (inexperienced and much younger) but they end up having a+++ s.ex (can be v rough bc he’s so stressed) so he ends up calling her up quite often and they grow attached to each other xcept there can be drama bc a) he’s married or engaged or something or b) he wants to keep them a secret or maybe even she tells him that she doesn’t date clients and ahhh yeah pls gimme

hi somebody pls give me a summer camp plot where they’re both camp counselors !!  it’d be hella cute tbh, like imagine giving each other these lil yarn bracelets they made during arts + crafts ?  also lil dates at the lake after everyone’s asleep + they’re just there getting h.igh + skin.ny dipping ??*

during a bank rob.bery you’re surprised when the criminals seem to recognize you and retreat in fear. only later do you learn that your high school sweet-heart now runs a global crim.e syndicate and has you placed on a “no harm” list. you decide to pay them a visit after all these years.*

muse a is in college and decides to become a stri,pper at an elite club to pay for her tuition. the club is run by this m.afia boss, muse b, who’s enchanted with her from the get-go and the feeling was mutual. so for the next year, on every friday night, muse b books a private dance from her for two hours, and muse a who has only been comfortable giving them to him and no one else, starts to look forward to it every time. she knows he’s dangerous but he doesn’t scare her like he probably should and every week the tension becomes thicker and thicker… i think it would b very cool to develop this and see what could happen when they eventually hook up. muse b doesn’t want to bring her into his world, not wanting for her to get hurt but the heart wants what it wants. 😈*

god i just got an imagine of a trophy wife who is way younger than her husband. as in she’s in her second year of college and he’s in his thirties. she is absolutely spoiled by him and she’s all too eager to please him in & out of bed. for all intends and purposes he seems like he’s in charge. he’s older. he has the money. yet he is so weak for her and wanting to give her the world. yet when they’re in the bedroom he f.ucks her like he doesn’t love her and she’s too into it. someone let me play this out. *

can i please have a precious lil broke girl who’s working herself to the bone as a waitress or something to put herself through college, meeting a wealthy older man who becomes totally smitten with her and wants to take care of her but she’s not used to not doing everything herself and he does stuff like renting out her entire restaurant on days she’s supposed to work bc he wants to see her, and taking her shopping so she has stuff to wear to his super fancy business galas, and constantly buying her fancy sparkly gifts, and there’s angst bc all the rich ladies are like ‘oh shes just his s.ugar baby/midlife crisis’ and she’s all ‘i don’t belong in your world’ and just please give me this xoxo *

okay so um i need a plot where this like young precious innocent lil cinnamon roll of a girl somehow stumbles upon some kinda se.xy chatroom thing (that may or may not be p.rison/inm.ate related) and starts chatting with this older guy who’s in prison (bc he was in a ga.ng or dr.ug ring or something, nothing too crazy ok) and they spend like months chatting pretty soon he convinces her to send him pictures and he gives her like d.irty little ‘missions’ (like wear vib,rating panti.es to college and take nud.es in public places and stuff like that) and then he eventually gets out of pri.son and they meet but she’s still a vi.rgin and he’s spent months not getting any and like can i please just have this  debauchery

a f.ucked up modern day marriage plot where a rival m.ob boss marries his daughter, muse a, off to muse b to calm the tension between the families. at first they hate each other, but once forced to live together, they start warming up to each other, too stubborn to let it show. then one night he comes back from an important deal gone wrong, his face is f.ucked up and he’s feverish and she takes care of him all night and etc etc etc…i need it?

okay so i read a fanfic with this plot and i can’t stop thinking about it and i really would love to do it with someone if anyone is interested!  basically, muse a and muse b have been best friends their entire life, they were always that duo everyone thought would end up together but things never went in a romantic route ( other than a few drunk kisses they never talked about throughout their late teens ) and now muse a has been dating his girlfriend for the last two years but was still just as close with muse b despite his girlfriend’s hidden jealousy. they’re now in their mid-twenties and muse a really wants to have a child and to start a family but his girlfriend is unable to carry them due to medical reasons. the topic of surrogates is brought up when he and muse b are hanging out one night and since she would do anything to make her best friend happy, she offers to carry his baby. after a sperm donation and a visit to the clinic, muse b finds out two weeks later that she’s pregnant and muse a couldn’t be happier and believes his girlfriend is just as over the moon as he is. unfortunately, she isn’t. it’s not until muse b is over four months pregnant that his girlfriend drops a bombshell – she doesn’t want to be a mother and she thought that she’d change her mind as things went further along but she can’t. the break up comes next and overwhelmed by the turn of events, muse b starts to panic and wonder what the hell she’s going to do. even though half of the baby’s dna is her own, she hadn’t been prepared to actually raise it but luckily muse a doesn’t bring up his expectations on the matter. he still wants to be a dad but doesn’t want to make muse b feel any pressure to be by his side when the baby is born. they don’t talk about it for the next few weeks and as time goes on, they get closer. muse a is super supportive and involved with the pregnancy, making sure to go to the doctor appointments with her and prenatal classes. he brushes off her mood swings and when she’s craving chocolate cupcakes at two in the morning, he doesn’t think twice about getting up and going to the store to get them for her. feelings start to develop and muse b comes to the conclusion that she’s inlove with him and thinks she always has been, despite wanting to push those feelings away when they were growing up. muse b also realizes that she wants to raise the baby with him and after an emotional conversation and mutual confessions come to light, they end up sleeping together and all seems like it’s falling into place. it’s not until the morning after that muse a gets a phone call from his ex, who suddenly has a change of heart and wants to get back together. to be a mother like they had originally planned… drama ensues.

when the m.ob princess meets the m.ob prince: forbi.dden love is always angsty so why not do that and add rival g.angs to the mix?  muse a is the daughter of the head boss of the local g.ang and is sick and tired of having her life controlled by her overprotective father. so, to rebel against his wishes after an argument, muse a decides to go to a nightclub that her father had always f.orbidden her to attend. unknown to her, the club is run by the rival ga.ng’s boss’ son, muse b, and not knowing who she is, can’t stop looking at her on the dance floor. they eventually bump into each other and after having a few drinks, end up at muse a’s apartment and they ho.ok up. i was thinking they both never brought up their families and their true professions and maybe start to hang out/go on dates and then bam, the truth comes out and drama begins. especially when they can’t stay away from each other.

a plot where he’s a little too old for her but she doesn’t care. he thinks she’s immature and too reckless with her behavior. but she’s he.llbent on proving him otherwise. so she applies for the position of his new personal assistant and he can’t help but appreciate her determination. of course he hires her but he does nothing short of giving her a hard time because this is her first job and she has no idea what she’s doing. but crap he finds her crying in the bathroom and his first instinct is to hold her and comfort her. he can’t believe he’s the cause of this and wises up fast. also maybe it has to do with his now urge to protect her.

i need a famous ship where they’re both insanely busy with album recordings & red carpets & tours & they’re trying to make this whole long distance relationship work but with the time differences & going months without seeing each other it’s difficult, not to mention all the rumors & shit. but then there’s all the cute things like showing up on tour to surprise each other & going to award shows together & just finally seeing each other again after going so long with only facetime dates, missed calls, & late night texts to get them by. honestly idek where i’m going with this i just know that i really want it ??? but like this or message me & we can figure everything out k cool

[weekendwarriorblog]

Weekend Warrior Home Edition – April 3, 2020 – Slay the Dragon, Tape and More

Well, things sure have gone to hell since I last wrote this weekly column that I’ve now been doing in some form or another at one place or other for over nineteen years! For the first time in those 19 years and probably a good 80 or 90 years before that, there were no movies in theaters. In fact, there were no movie theaters. Because of this, the last two weekends have been the first in history with ZERO BOX OFFICE. It’s kind of tough to write a column about the box office and theatrical releases when there are none, n’est ce pas?

So I’m going to try to evolve for the time being, and we’ll see how that goes. I’m not too thrilled about having to watch movies as screeners, let alone writing about movies that will probably never get a theatrical release, but I’ll try to make the best of it. (Oh, and Disney’s Onward, which opened in theaters less than a month ago will be available ON DISNEY+* tomorrow.) (*corrected)

This week’s “Featured Movie” that you absolutely must see, especially if you’re reading this from one of the “red states” and feel like government just isn’t doing things the way you’d like them to do, is Barak Goodman and Chris Durrance’s political documentary SLAY THE DRAGON (Magnolia).  It covers how gerrymandering is being used in census years (like this one) to maintain a Republican majority in local and state government.  Goodman’s doc begins in Michael Moore territory of Flint, Michigan and shows how gerrymandering was used to create a Republican majority that led to the town getting water from the nearby Flint River which contaminated the pipes and leaked lead into the system.

The film does a good job explaining gerrymandering in an easy to understand way by following a few specific cases of people fighting against the policies.  Counties and voting districts in different states aren’t just a straight grid on a map. Instead, the districts are drawn up to cause an unfair advantage to a party. This was especially true of the REDMAP program instituted in 2008 by the GOP after Barack Obama was elected President to make sure Republicans could dominate Congress as well as politics on a state level.  

Much of the film deals with Katie Fahey’s group Citizens United that has decided to take on the politicians with its grassroots campaign to allow the people’s voices and votes to start counting. (One of the programs that grew out of REDMAPping was that thousands of voters were not able to vote since a few states passed a law that ID was required to vote, thereby keeping black and brown voters from the polls.)

Yes, it’s a rather complicated situation but it’s one that people in the primarily liberal states like New York, California and others really need to know about, since it’s why we have a reality TV host as our President right now as well as why we have a Republican Senate that just prevented him from being impeached. All of the bigger politics goes back to the individual state politics and how gerrymandering and REDMAP unfairly sways the vote against those who win on the state level in census years (essentially every ten years including 2020). Originally, this was going to get a theatrical release in March but now it will only be available on digital and On Demand, so you can find out how to see it on the official site.

I also want to give a little extra attention to Deborah Kampmeier’s TAPE (Full Moon Films), which skipped its theatrical release instead to do an interesting “virtual theatrical run,” playing every night On Demand via CrowdCast. It’s available every night at 7pm eastern followed by discussions with the filmmakers and then will be on Digital and VOD on April 10. Again, these are changing times, but this is a haunting and powerful thriller based on true events, starring Anarosa Mudd as a woman trying to catch a sleezy casting agent (Tarek Bishara) who is preying on actresses and one in particular, played by Isabelle Fuhrman (Orphan). Both of their performances are pretty amazing, Mudd playing a shaven-head whistleblower and Fuhrman playing an ambitious young actress who think she’s finally gotten her much-needed break, but finding out there’s a lot darker side to the business than she expected. While a lot of people have raved about The Assistant as a response to #MeToo, this is a much starker and direct look at the abuse of power to take advantage of young women. The movie is not going to be for everybody, because it takes some time before you realize what Mudd’s character (who could just as easily be Rose MacGowan) is up to, but the way how things play out in the film makes it unforgettable. It’s a fantastic new movie from Kampmeier, who famously had an underage Dakota Fanning have a rape scene in her earlier movie, Hounddog.

A movie that was released last week that I didn’t get to write about (but it’s still available On Demand and Digitally, as many movies currently are) is Lorcan Finnegan’s VIVARIUM (Saban Films), starring Jesse Eisenberg and Imogen Poots. It’s a virtual two-hander in which they play a couple who look at a house in a suburban housing complex where every house looks the same. They soon learn that they can’t escape and things get weirder and weirder from there. I can’t say I loved the movie, because it just got weirder and weirder, almost to a fault at times.

Polish filmmaker Malgorzata Szumowska’s THE OTHER LAMB (IFC Midnight) is another movie about a religious cult, this one a group of women that live in a remote forest commune led by a man they call “Shepherd” (played by Michiel Huisman from Game of Thrones and The Haunting of Hill House). It follows a teenager named Selah (Raffey Cassidy) who begins to question her existence when she starts having nightmarish visions. This was okay, but I really have hit my limit in terms of movies about religious cults. They’ve just been overdone.

Mike Doyle’s rom-com ALMOST LOVE (Vertical) is about a group of middle-aged friends trying to navigate love and relationships with a cast that includes Scott Evans, Kate Walsh, Patricia Clarkson, Augustus Prew and more. Some of the characters are having marital issues, others are dating or getting into early feelings of possible love. It’s a nice distraction from all the serious stuff going on in the world today.

A great music doc now On Demand, digital and other formats (Blu-ray/DVD) is Brent Wilson’s STREETLIGHT HARMONIES (Gravitas), which takes a look at the early doo-wop vocal groups of the ‘50s and ‘60s that predated and formed the basis for Rock & Roll, Rhythm & Blues and other music genres as we know them today. It deals with acts like The Drifters, Little Antony and the Imperials, The Platters, and Frankie Lymon and the Teenagers. It includes interviews with some of the more recent acts influenced by it including En Vogue and N’Sync as well as Brians Wilson and McKnight. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed this despite doo-wop not being my preferred music style. (For the sake of transparency, I helped out with a little bit of publicity on this film.)

Also, Olivier Meyrou’s fly-on-the-wall doc Celebration (1091) is a movie that was commissioned by Yves Saint Laurent’s former lover and business partner, Pierre Bergé, more than ten years ago but was shelved for being too revealing. It was filmed over the course of three years where Laurent was at his most frail and mostly separated from the world as we get a look inside one of the last great haute couture houses. It’s now available On Demand and digitally.

Jon Abrahams directs and co-stars in Clover (Freestyle Digital Media) opposite the great Mark Webber, playing bumbling Irish twins trying to pay off their father’s debt to local mob boss Tony Davolo, played by Chazz Palminteri. Things get more complicated when a teen girl named Clover (Nicole Elizabeth Berger) shows up and the brothers need to protect her from Tony’s “hit-women.” Looks like a fun dark comedy.

Unfortunately, Saban Films didn’t offer advance review screeners of the action sequel, Rogue Warrior: The Hunt (Saban Films), directed by Mike Gunther, but it stars Will Yun Lee.  I’m not sure if this is a sequel to 2017’s Rogue Warrior: The Hunt, but I haven’t seen that either. It involves the leader of an elite team of soldiers being captured by terrorists, so his team needs rescue him. Oh, and Stephen Lang (Avatar, Don’t Breathe) is in it, too.

STREAMING AND CABLE

This week’s Netflix offerings include the streaming network’s latest true-crime documentary series, HOW TO FIX A DRUG SCANDAL, directed by Erin Lee Carr (Dirty Money), which covers the 2013 case of Sonja Farak, a crime drug lab specialist who was arrested for tampering with evidence but also accused of using the drugs she was supposed to be testing.  (It’s on the service as of this writing.)

Stuber and Good director Michael Dowse helms the action-comedy COFFEE & KAREEM, starring Ed Helms as police officer James Coffee, who begins dating Taraji P. Henson’s Vanessa Manning while her 12-year-old son Kareem (Terrence Little Gardenhigh) plots their break-up. Kareem hires criminal fugitives to kill Coffee but instead ends up getting his whole family targeted, so the two must team up. Also starring Betty Gilpin, RonReaco Lee, Andrew Bachelor and David Alan Grier.

Also on Friday, Disney Plus will stream two Disneynature docs, Dolphin Reef and Elephant, in honor of Earth Day taking place later this month. Previously, one or both of these movies might have been released theatrically but hey, earth is going to hell right now.

Now playing on Hulu is the latest installment of Blumhouse’s “Into the Dark,” Alejandro Brugué’s Pooka Lives, which ties in with “Pooka Day” (no idea what that is) but apparently, Pooka is a fictional creature like “Slender Man” that was created on Creepypasta  by a group of friends that goes viral but then manifests into creatures that become real. It stars fan faves Felicia Day, Will Wheaton, Rachel Bloom and more.

Next week, more movies not in theaters!

By the way, if you read this week’s column and have read this far down, feel free to drop me some thoughts at Edward dot Douglas at Gmail dot Com or send me a note on Twitter. I love hearing from readers!

[lesceriises]

[ 🍒 ]  — gracing the tags with my presence before i go work on replies. hi. i’m elle. i’m mostly here for mxf shipping tbh, but i love platonic/family plots too. i have adhd which means i like jumping into things and figuring out what works and doesn’t without beating around the bush. send me memes!! send me ideas!! i love brainstorming. i have a bunch of muses right here & you can check out my open starters here. 

if you’re curious about what fcs i like + what types of plots i’m interested in, click the read more.

come write with me!!!

🍒  FCS I WANT TO WRITE AGAINST 🍒 

alfonso herrera, alvaro rico, chris pine, dacre montgomery, david giuntoli, edgar ramírez, jake gyllenhaal, kit harington, luke pasqualino, michiel huisman, oliver jackson-cohen, oscar isaac, ryan guzman, santiago cabrera, sean tealea, simon baker, tom ellis, tommy martinez, tyler hoechlin, zane holt, alicia vikander, alycia debnam carey, eleanor tomlinson, gugu mbatha-raw, imogen poots, johanna braddy, lupita nyong'o, margot robbie, oona chaplin, poppy drayton, ruth negga, saoirse ronan, shelley hennig, shannon purser, zendaya, zoey deutch.

🍒 PLOTS I’M INTERESTED IN: GENERAL VIEW 🍒

drama, over-the-top drama, cheesy drama, angst, romance, manipulation, lying, cheating, pregnancies, horror, supernatural, ghosts, historical, crime, royals, modern royals, fake relationships, unrequited feelings, bad timing. you can check a few plots i’d like to do here.

🍒 PLOTS I’M INTERESTED IN: SPECIFIC 🍒

if fandom isn’t your thing, i’m also v interested in rl / historical plots. you can find a list of those here.

CHOICES GAME APP & STORYSCAPE: plots based on: titanic, the perfect match, rules of engagement, desire & decorum, the royal romance, and the elementalists. we don’t have to play the “main” characters or follow the original storylines tho.

TITANIC/1900s: legit just... any and all dynamics lmao the list is infinite there’s so much potential. if you’re familiar with the game i’m looking for something taken from storyscape like matteo x adele dynamic (long-story short, matteo is a valet for a wealthy man and adele is someone who is being blackmailed by said wealthy man) or charlie x adele (charlie is a steward who befriends adele, helps her navigate her situation, and the two become very close - esp interested in a dynamic post-titanic too where he's trying very hard not to hold things against her but is struggling tremendously with guilt, ptsd, and his idealism) or a dynamic based on zetta x adele (zetta is famous and adele's employer, and adele is being blackmailed into ruining her engagement - but it'd have to be an mxf one because that's the only kind of romantic pairings i write).

THE HUNGER GAMES: capitol citizen x capitol citizen, mentor x mentor, victor x dead tribute’s sibling/dead tribute’s best friend, literally any other combO!! smth with spies would be great too like spy rebel working a the capitol x capitol staff.

VIDEO GAMES: plots based on until dawn!!!!!!!!! which is one of my favs tbh (there’s SO MUCH POTENTIAl but i’m particularly weak for “we had a ‘opposites attract, will they don’t they’ thing going on and smth was about to happen between us at the cabin but then my sibling/best friend vanished and everything went to shit and we haven’t spoken in a year even though we miss each other dearly”.

HARRY POTTER:  

workaholic diplomats with a fuckton of baggage and personal struggles who are really good at their jobs and always butting heads… falling in love (bonus: maybe one of them is a squib)

pureblood order member is essentially kidnapped by their own elitist family and has their memory tampered with, meaning they now believe they’ve always just been a spy for the death eaters. they’re engaged and their significant other starts to notice little things that feel odd and unusual. 

i muggleborn who started lying about her blood status and is passing as elitist pureblood who ends up getting engaged to a pureblood.  

before the first wizarding war, two purebloods get married. it wasn’t an arranged marriage and for all their differences they brought out the best in each other. their families were iffy about each other but they made it work. she remained mostly a housewife, enjoying the work and taking care of the children. things were good until the war rolled around and slowly, gradually. it became clear that his family (and he himself) were prejudiced against muggles and muggleborn. in the end they end up on opposite sides of the war, and it gets ugly.

arranged marriage between two people. he’s a widower and a grump, no one really finds him good company and on top of that his wife died in questionable circumstances (everyone thinks he did it, but it was actually his parents). his parents picked her because she seems easy to manipulate and air-headed. they never thought they would end up gradually growing very fond of each other to the point of love - they have the same humor, he helps her try not to please everyone and she helps him allowing himself to be himself - and that he’d start standing up to his family.

ANGELS / DEMONS / NOT FANDOM SPECIFIC: angel x fallen angel (please. think of all the pain and angst) or demon x redeemed demon or smth of the sort (the betrayal!!!)

X-MEN: literally too many possible combos to list and i want them all!!! the angstier/messier the better.

THE MUMMY: doesn’t have to be based on the movie, i’m going for the ~vibes~ here. we can do: explorer/archaeologist x non-explorer, explorer/archaeologist x journalist, explorer/archaeologist x doctor, explorer/archaeologist x explorer/archaeologist…. they can be any age too! even exs with children, the options are endless.

PACIFIC RIM: trainee x trainee, pilot x scientist, pilot x pilot, doctor x pilot

OUTLANDER/TIME-TRAVELLING IN GENERAL: could be intentional, accidental, to the future or the past, etc so many options!! we can mix time-travelling with other fandoms too!!

TOMB RAIDER: feel free to make suggestions but here are some ideas: (a) and (b) have a long history (platonic, romantic, siblings, idc). they’re both explorers who for the most part have been on the same side. two peas in a pod. two sides of the same coin. etc etc. while trying to put together a mystery, and trying to beat the “bad guys” to it, they realise the object they are looking for can change the past or bring the dead back to life…. this is where (b) turns against (a), who, unlike them, wants to take the object and keep it safe inside a vault.

STAR WARS: literally too many options to list but i’ll try: “jyn” x “cassian”, spy x traitor, pilot x spy doctor, former stormtrooper x spy, former stormtrooper x regular person, spy x regular person, diplomat x pilot, diplomat x former stormtrooper, idk there’s so many possible dynamics i couldn’t list them all legit anything in this universe im begging lmao!

STRANGER THINGS: so many possibilities?? could be set at any point in time too… and/or make our characters older and have them revisit things that happened to them in the past.

MARVEL/MCU: superhero x human , superhero x superhero, hero x law enforcement, a verse where heroes are “banned” (think incredibles 2)… all of these could go in so many ways?? the sky’s the limit. reminder that i don’t write canons but i don’t mind writing against them!! 

ANASTASIA: lost princess/prince x kitchen boy/girl turned con-person who is at first using them for money but ends up falling in love with them and oops turns out they are the real deal.

THE LITTLE MERMAID: mermaid x prince, mermaid x human, mermaid x pirate, “ursula” x “eric”

ALADDIN: “i pretended to be a rich prince/princess to impress the their/heiress to the throne bc i’m poor as hell and i just want to stop being poor lmao … but oh boy i’ve fallen in love…….”

FROZEN:   “hans” x “anna” or “hans” x “elsa” (i just think “hans” is a great character and there’s a lot we could do with him tbh) oc guard or commoner x “elsa” “anna” and “kristoff” but their relationship isn’t working out the dynamic between “anna” and “elsa” bc i’m a sucker for sibling dynamics we could also explore the relationship of anna and elsa’s parents!!!  

[kootenaygoon]

So,

Chris was asleep in my passenger seat, wearing a leprechaun dress.

We’d connected on the last day of Kamp Festival, the pair of us haggard and semi-conscious in my fold-out chairs. Chris was monologuing about her festival experience. She told me she jumped off a cliff, she overcame her fear of heights, she was proud of herself. She told me that these grown-ups playing in the colour games had legitimately reverted to their childhood bullying ways, making things all ultra-competitive instead of fun. Of course. 

“But I’ve met some amazing people here,” she said. “Like I think I’m going to remember these people for a long time.”

I could tell by how long-winded and earnest Chris was being that she was on something strong, maybe acid. She was about to crash hard, and everyone was packing up camp to leave. Becca had left for the coast with a Victoria DJ she knew, so I was all by my lonesome when it came to paying for gas. Chris offered to pay $40 for a ride home, but I didn’t accept it. I just wanted to make sure she got home safe, because she wasn’t going to be sober any time soon. I couldn’t imagine leaving her with a stranger.

Once we pulled out of the Kamp venue on to the highway, we were pretty much immediately stuck in a line-up. Chris put down the window and stuck her bare feet out into the wind. A minute or two later she’d slumped into herself, snoring gently, her head lolling slightly from side to side. I knew it wasn’t a big deal, that people did drugs like this all the time and woke up fine, that she wasn’t necessarily going to overdose in my passenger seat. My legs vibrated along with the music as I ground my teeth in concern. What if she had taken fentanyl or something? What if I arrived backed in Nelson with a corpse for a passenger?

“Hey,” I said, taking her arm. “You’re feeling okay? You’ll let me know if you need to puke or anything?”

She nodded. “I’m good. I’ve got some water here. I think I’m just going to sleep, if that’s all right. You can keep the music up, if you want. I like it when there’s music playing while I sleep. It fucks with my dreams.”

Did she she say that, I asked myself, or did I?

Aussie Chris lived with Chelsea up in Rosemont, and knew Blayne from before. She was a server at Vienna Cafe, a night club kid in her early 20s. She was biracial, half-asian, with a smattering of freckles under her eyes and shoulder-length brown mermaid hair. She was on a one-year visa and was looking to hit every music festival she could while she was in the country. When it came to partying, she was a professional. I liked her style a lot. She had a busy intellect. 

As we sat idle during the ferry crossing, I reflected on the last few days. The thing with Becca had ended on a bad note. We’d never spent this many days together in a row, and she was starting to realize what a drag I was. She was also less than thrilled to hear me talk about Paisley non-stop, whining that I would never get over her or that I was still processing things.

“I don’t mean this to be patronizing, because I do think you’re awesome, but I think you should consider therapy very seriously. It seems like you’re in a dark place, and I don’t know how to help you.”

“I never said I needed help.”

She laughed. “It’s like you have this giant sign over you that reads: NEEDS HELP. In an adorable way, but it’s alarming too. That you’re living in this constant state of desperation. Honestly, I think Nelson might be bad for you.”

While I pulled off the ferry and back on to the highway, I nudged Chris to pull her legs back into the cab. We needed the windows up. I thought about my job at the Star, and how repetitive the work was becoming. We’d hit all the available topics when it came to your typical small town goings-on, but we lacked depth. The real story was all these fucking overdoses, but they seemed to be outside our reach. There was a shroud of silence over these deaths, so they didn’t end up having a public record. I wondered how much was being kept from me, what angle I’d been missing. Why all this secrecy?

I wanted to help.

The reason I named my UBC thesis manuscript “Whatever you’re on, I want some” was because I was despairing about a friend lost to heroin addiction, also named Chris. We had grown up together, gone to the same youth group and camp together, but somehow he’d ended up trapped on the Downtown Eastside, en route to becoming a derelict soul. I gave up on him. That’s what made me feel guiltiest, was that I abandoned him. At a certain point I realized it just wasn’t healthy for me to know him anymore, no matter how close we’d been as teens. Addiction had defined our relationship, had ended it, and I wanted to understand why.

“I’ve been really into the paintings you’ve been posting,” Chris said, stretching out her arms as we slalomed through the woods. Slocan Lake looked just as infinite as ever. I turned down the music. “All the self portraits.”

I nodded, pretended to be embarrassed. “Yeah, I’ve just done a few now. I was inspired by this painter John Cooper, who I interviewed for the Star. He’s this guy in his 70s with like hundreds of students in the Kootenays and he’s a fucking legend. He knows Tom Robbins,” I said.

“His colour choices are really trippy, like lots of purple and crazy bursts of the whole rainbow for mundane things. Like he’ll do a rusted out car but suddenly it’s neon green with purple highlights, you know?”

She nodded, looking out the window. “I like paintings that have psychedelic elements like that. Paintings that take you somewhere beyond natural.”

I lit a joint. “And the guy’s crazy. You can just feel it in his work, this extra electricity. When I interviewed him he kept me on the phone for like 45 minutes talking. He tells all these crazy stories about the 60s and he’s just fucking hilarious. He’s known as the Toad Road painter because he’s painted the same rock like a hundred times.” 

“Hilarious.”

“Oh, and naked ladies. He paints lots of naked chicks.”

Chris had heard about my photo shoot with Blayne, and had talked to Chelsea about appearing as a model in one of my shoots. She had experience, so she would be completely comfortable in front of the camera. I’d been amassing subjects over my years in the Kootenays, shooting every kind of woman I met every way that I knew how. 

I loved them all. 

From there we continued to weave and dip, the RAV humming along like a space ship, as we worked our way through the joint. Chris told me about how she’d watched Joe Nillo live-paint at Kamp and how incredible it was to see him channel the festival’s energy into his canvas. She was roommates with the subject, Kylie, so she could see through all the goddess window dressing.

“It’s hard to tell whether he’s in love with her, or the painting.”

I laughed. “Why can’t it be both? He can channel his love for her into the work, even if they’re not together, right? He can remember the good things about her, the things he fell in love with. Those things don’t become irrelevant the moment you break up. There’s still meaning there.”

Chris looked at me, bemused. She knew I was talking about Paisley. “Listen, man, I’m just saying Joe’s got this way of channeling whole narratives into these images. They’re the sort of paintings you can sit down and read them like a book.”

“Like they have little details you have to look for?”

“Exactly. And that one you’ve seen isn’t his trippiest painting by far. We’ve got a bunch of his pieces still back at our house, I’ll show you. His paintings sing.”

Eventually Chris fell back asleep, as I was passing through Winlaw. From there I hurtled through South Slocan with my music back up, and back on the highway to Nelson. I thought about Joe Nillo and John Cooper, how they each embodied an approach to art that I could try to emulate. Like Joe I could produce work that was spiritually-infused, so that engaging with it feels like a religious experience. And like John I could gleefully go mad, laughing at the ridiculousness of it all while revelling in the universe’s exquisite beauty. I was sick of being just a journalist, of being constrained to reporting facts. I wanted to be a painter, an artist. I wanted to tap into the magic of the Kootenays and shoot it into my veins.

“I’m so full of love I feel like I’m going to paint the walls with my gore,” Chris said, but by then she wasn’t Chris anymore. It was the other Chris, from my childhood. He stared straight ahead from his passenger seat, angry.

“You remember that time we had a contest to see who could stay in that freezing lake longer, up my cabin. Do you remember that?”

“Yeah, I won. But you hogged the warm shower for like half an hour.”

“So who was the real winner?”

“I don’t even know what to feel about you, man. Like at least you’ve found a clean supply so I don’t need to read your headline yet.”

He laughed. “You act like you know how this is going to end, but you don’t.”

“This ends with me punching you in the head as hard as I can.”

“The first rule of fight club is you do not talk about fight club.”

I turned back in my seat, and rubbed my forehead with a knuckle. It was Bob Dylan playing, so I stuck with that for a moment. It was a song I associated with my high school drama teacher, Mr. Van Camp, who sang this drunkenly on the last night of our provincial theatre festival: People are crazy and times are strange. I'm locked in tight, I'm out of range. I used to care, but things have changed.

“If you were a character in The Wire,” I said to Chris. “You would be Wallace.”

“And what would that make you? Poot?”

I smiled and glanced over my shoulder to where Andrew Stevenson was sitting surly, his muscled arms crossed as he looked out the window. Beside him was Ryan Tapp, listening to an iPod with his sunglasses on. If things got bad, these two were always nearby to step in. I had more power than people realized, than even I realized, but I was still figuring out how to harness it properly. If my life was The Wire, I wanted to control which character I was going to be. 

“Are you, kidding?” I said, reaching behind my seat to grab my grey shotgun. I felt the cold barrel in my palm as I pulled it into my lap, pointing it in Chris’ direction. I brought the barrel to his lips, and then his chest, and finally to his groin. I snickered with sinister pleasure.  

“Bitch, I’m Omar.”

The Kootenay Goon