#choosing mild violence right before tucking myself into bed

[antisocialxconstruct]

gay people make a lot of bad (if) PREACH. sometimes i want to write an article about it but that would require me having to actually look at what the community is doing.

LMAO ah that could be kinda fascinating though... obviously everyone can do whatever they want forever and I'd never single anyone out just for making a lackluster game, but sometimes it really feels like everyone who figured out how to code variable pronouns and general half a dozen artbreeder portraits thinks they're gonna be the next Wayhaven and....... you're not. I'm sorry. Also dream bigger.

[porkchop-ao3]

A Thrill I’ve Never Known (Chapter 55)

Choke

Reader has a word with Dutch. Couple of warnings for this one: one use of a racial slur, and some violence.

Tagging @emily-strange ❤

(All chapters tagged with #ATINK and also posted on Ao3, username PorkChop)

-

Dutch seemed pleased when he returned from Saint Denis with Sadie, rolling in on a wagon dressed up like a lawman. I was stunned to see Sadie in a fancy, floofy dress and a big hat, though it was spattered with blood. They climbed down and Sadie immediately strutted off to get changed, her face twisted with a lingering vengeful look, as Dutch spread his arms wide and puffed himself up to get everyone's attention. 

"It's done. Colm O'Driscoll is dead and gone. This is it, people, this is our first real step towards freedom, we just struck one huge thing off the list," he called out, strolling leisurely through the camp towards his tent. "We just gotta make one big bang and then we're gone."

I watched him from my spot on Arthur's bed, hearing Micah's deviant, low titter of a laugh. 

"What'd I tell you, boss? This ain't nothing we can't get away from, with our strongest boys we'll be on our way," he said, swinging back on a chair with his feet propped up on the table. 

"I can taste it, Mr. Bell. Ain't it a beautiful thing?" Dutch responded, then slipped away into the privacy of his tent. Micah glanced at me then, catching my eye for a moment, mouth curling into a smile. I rose to my feet and made my way over to the back of the women's wagon where Sadie was just finishing getting changed, smoothing out her shirt where it was tucked into her pants.

"Hey Sadie, how'd it go?" I asked. 

"It got bloody. But Colm's dead, and whatever lackeys he brought with him, they're dead too," she told me bluntly. "Finally. I've been waiting for the day that those bastards paid for what they did to my husband." 

"Good. I hope it hurt," I said quietly, looking towards the ground at the mention of her husband. I never knew how to act. 

"You should've seen the look on his face when he realised he weren't getting away, pretty sure he shit himself before they pulled the lever," she gave a mean, scratchy laugh and I had to smile at her getting to see some justice finally delivered. "Bastard deserves everything he gets, what he did to me."

"Couldn't agree more. And I'm glad he's gone, maybe now we'll have some damn breathing space," I sighed. 

"Maybe. But I got a word of warning for ya', Dutch got a little pissed off when we was in the bar before we watched Colm swing," she began, picking up her gun belt and buckling it around her waist, retrieving her pistol and sitting down to clean it, "Arthur said some things and Dutch weren't happy."

I frowned and sat down next to her. "What was said, exactly?"

"Arthur asked what the grand plan was, and when he didn't exactly jump for joy at Dutch's answer, his loyalty was called into question. I tried to step in and tell them to buck up, but they butted heads. Well, as much as Arthur'd dare to butt heads with Dutch, said just 'cause he's thinking about the others, don't mean he's disloyal to him. Dutch weren't having it though," Sadie explained, digging her nail into the nooks and crannies of her gun with the cloth. "He weren't particularly kind to Arthur."

I narrowed my eyes, my jaw clenching.

"Dutch said apparently he knows that you and him are talking 'bout leaving," she met my eyes at that, and my chest squeezed uncomfortably. "Arthur looked like he was about to throw up. In the end he just dropped it, and we had to go to the gallows anyway and nothin' more was said about it."

"And where's Arthur now?"

"Ain't sure. We split up and went separate ways after the chaos, I imagine he'll be back later," she told me, and I nodded, rising to my feet. 

"Excuse me," I said, and turned to leave.

I was half way towards Dutch's tent when I realised I'd left my cane behind, I didn't stop though. I very nearly ripped back the canvas and barged in, but the possibility that he could be undressed in there halted me, and instead I stopped just shy of the tent and took a breath. 

"Dutch? May I come in?" I called out once I'd gathered myself. There was a pause, then movement, and the canvas peeled back. Dutch looked a little confused, of course, I'd never really gone out of my way to speak to him in all the months I'd been around. "I'd like to speak with you."

"Of course," he said, his tone jumping up with a politeness that unnerved me. 

He stepped aside and let me enter. I'd never really been inside his tent. They were far more luxurious lodgings than the rest of the camp had, that was for sure, with animal furs on the floor and everything. Dutch gestured for me to take a seat on the bed, and he stood before me with his arms crossed. I sat up straight, my hands clasped in my lap. 

"I want Arthur to leave with me," I said, coming right out with it. "He knows this, and I ain't gonna try and hide it from anyone."

"Is that so?" His brows jumped up. I kept my eyes focused steadily on his.

"Yes."

"And why exactly are you telling me this, may I ask?"

"I wanna make it clear that it's me that wants it, it's me who's asking Arthur to come away with me. And Arthur is… he cares a lot about this gang. He ain't going anywhere," I explained to him, my voice as strong as I could manage despite the fact I was so nervous my hands shook.

"Well, my dear, if you don't wanna be in this gang anymore, you know where the figurative door is. Nobody's stopping you," he cocked a brow, crossing his arms.

"It ain't that. It's not that I want to leave the gang. I just– I want Arthur to be safe. And I want to be with him, where we can try and be free from all those people that're after him," I clarified, shaking my head, "but he ain't prepared to leave all of you, he's known you longer and I ain't gonna force him to choose between us. So I'm staying."

"I still don't know why this has anything to do with me. It sounds like you and Arthur have discussed this at length just between the two of you and have come to a compromise, what do you expect me to do with this information, Miss?" His face was hard but his tone was easy and polite. He had a way of doing that…

"Because I believe you might begin to question Arthur. You heard him the night of my injuries, he mentioned us leaving, but I know for sure he was only saying that in the moment. He didn't really mean it, and I know this because I called him out and asked him to stick to his words. He couldn't," in a way I felt guilty for painting Arthur out as being against leaving with me. It wasn't entirely true, but Dutch needed to hear it. "I just have to tell you this, the truth, so that Arthur ain't punished for my sake," I added.

"You think I'd punish him for wanting to leave?"

"Yes, actually, I do. I think you'd resent him, after all you've done for him," I admitted, attempting to stroke his ego just a bit; I thought it'd help my case, "and I ain't here to tell you whether you should or shouldn't be mad at something like that. I'm here to tell you that Arthur ain't thinking like you think he is. Lord knows I wish he was, but I ain't that lucky."

"But my guess is you're gonna keep on working on him, try and get him to see sense?" He tilted his head, his brow cocking again.

I lifted my shoulders lightly. "I will keep on telling him what I want and hope that someday he'll want it too."

"Well, I'm sorry, Miss, but from where I'm standing, if what you're telling me is true, maybe Arthur ain't all that committed to you. Is it in your best interests to put yourself in the firing line for a man who won't commit to you, one-hundred percent?" He proposed, his head tilting down, eyes peering up through his lashes, partially obscured by the brim of the hat he wore. "Maybe you should… cut your losses and get out of here before it's too late for you, all these Pinkertons about. You've already been injured. Perhaps you gotta start thinking about what's best for you."

"Like Molly did?" I don't know why I said it. I don't know what possessed me, but it gave Dutch pause, his expression flinching to mild surprise before being concealed behind indifference.

"Yes, like Molly did," he responded after some time, voice low and level. "You should know that a leopard don't change its spots, no matter how pretty a lady comes along. This wouldn't be the first time Arthur's chosen the gang over a woman, you likely won't be an exception, and I just don't wanna see a sweet thing like you get hurt," the treacle in his tone made me nauseous, but I forced a smile.

"I appreciate the concern. But I'm not going anywhere, Arthur might not be leaving the gang for me but I'll wait for him, even if that means I'm waiting the rest of our lives," I told him. "Because I love him, and I don't care where we are as long as we're together."

"Oh, that's sweet. I usually like a little naivety in a girl, though it does so often border on wilful ignorance," he said.

"So I'm ignorant?"

"I never said that," he shook his head innocently, brows curving up, "but perhaps you're beatin' a dead horse, so to speak."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you're in love with him… and he loves you, I ain't got much doubt about that. I know just what a fool that man can be when he's taken by a woman, after all I was there when he was getting pulled in two directions by Mrs. Linton. He loved Mary, too. But Arthur never could leave this gang then, just like he can't now," he said to me, eyes boring into me, I'd been staring at his face so long in the muted light of the tent that his face seemed to start to warp and twist into something ugly and unsettling.

"So you really think I should leave and not look back because Arthur ain't never gonna come away with me?" I kept my expression neutral and my tone flat, trying not to give away anything about how I was feeling.

"I think that might serve you better in the long run, but that's just my advice. Take it or leave it."

"And you'd tell me that, even after you said yourself that you don't doubt Arthur loves me, you'd hurt him like that?"

"It wouldn't be me doing the hurting, my dear, I ain't got nothing to do with yours and his relationship, this is all up to you," he chuckled, shaking his head. "You came in here wanting to speak to me, and I just gave my advice."

"Well, wanting to speak with you and asking for your advice are two different things. I just came in here to tell you not to treat Arthur like dirt because of me."

"Hm, right you are. Well, unsolicited as it may be, my advice was given. You've worked hard for this gang, it'd be a real shame for you to throw your life away, risk it because of a romance that you can find with any old feller, ones that don't have to run away from anything for you. I love Arthur, I do, but the man is the furthest thing from a good suitor," he laughed and shook his head.

I was quiet for a moment, letting his words sink in. Then I took a breath and rose to my feet.

"Well, thank you for your time."

"My pleasure, why I do believe this is the first real conversation you and I have ever had. If you choose to stick around, I'd be remiss if we didn't do this more often," he chuckled, his overly proper and friendly manner wearing thin.

"I'll leave you to whatever you were doing, take care, now," I nodded to him before letting myself out of the tent, taking a cooling breath once I was out in the open again and away from his suffocating presence. There was something about Dutch that made it hard to relax and breathe, he dominated any space just by existing, took up too much room. I didn't like it at all.

"Workin' on Dutch, now, are we? You like the fellers, don't you?" Micah sniggered from his spot at the table by Dutch's tent. 

"Leave her alone, Micah," Javier sighed from a ways behind him, taking a drink of water from one of our drinking barrels. I stopped dead and levelled my gaze to Micah.

"What? She's already screwing one of 'em, and she's getting mighty close to the likes of Marston and that darkie, always fluttering her lashes at the lot of them," he continued anyway, and I felt Javier looking at me. "Dutch even got a glimpse at Shady Belle. Remember that, sweetheart? Yeah, he told me about that."

I walked towards him, sitting down on the chair opposite. I kept my eyes so focused on his, to the point that he started looking uncomfortable. He glanced away for a second, then back at me. He almost looked confused.

"Keep going. Tell me more about myself, what else I been doing?" I asked. 

Micah's mouth hung open just so, his brow furrowed a bit. 

"So, I'm fucking Arthur," I counted it off on my finger, "flirting with John and– I'm sorry, who else was it?"

"Charles, I think he meant," Javier answered for him. 

"Charles. Course, you didn't use his name. Anyway, Dutch saw me at Shady Belle, sure, but what was I doing?"

"You were prancing around on top of Morgan like a whore," Micah spat venomously. 

"Like a whore? So, I looked experienced, at least. That's flattering," I nodded, and Javier snorted. "What else then?"

Micah hesitated. 

"Sneaking into Dutch's tent," Javier added, and I glanced up to see him grinning, enjoying whatever I was doing… I wasn't really sure what that was but it was happening with a flurry of adrenaline and the urge to wind Micah up.

"Oh yeah, trying my luck with him," I nodded, "thank you, Mr. Escuella, Mr. Bell seems to have forgotten his tongue."

"Then there was you being a little cock tease with me," Micah finally said, attempting to flip it to his gain.

"Cock tease? But according to you I'm dishing it out left and right, I ain't one for teasing," I frowned comically. "Why'd it be any different with you Mr. Bell? Surely I should be throwing myself at you like I do with everyone else."

I raised my brows at him expectantly but he kept his mouth shut.

"No, it's 'cause that was all in your head. Truth is I wouldn't touch you with a barge-pole if your limp dick was the last damn thing on Earth and my life depended on sucking it for sustenance, you're disgusting," I hissed through gritted teeth, letting a fair amount of pent up anger out at him as I rose to my feet and leaned over the table towards him. I heard Javier choke at my foul language.

The next thing I knew, my hair was being yanked; Micah's hand wrapped around the braid that hung forwards as I leaned, dragging me down to his level. I cried out in shock and pain.

"Someone ought to teach you some goddamn manners you nasty little girl," he growled, his face far closer than I ever wanted it. A surge of adrenaline sent my hand up to his neck where I grappled and squeezed whatever I could get purchase on, doing whatever came naturally to get him to let go of me.

"Don't you ever fucking touch me!" I screamed, wrenching my head back out of his loosened grip, shoving him back into his chair by his throat. 

"Woah, woah! Jesus Christ!" Javier was there, a hand on my shoulder, shoving me back, one on Micah's, keeping him in his chair as he choked and rubbed at his neck.

"Fucking psycho!" Micah's hoarse yell was my only evidence I hadn't done any real damage.

"You listening, shit head? You fucking touch me again and I won't let go next time," I spat, whirling around to storm off, slamming straight into someone coming up behind me. I stepped back and looked up to see Arthur's panicked, wide eyes, mouth hanging open. Shame washed through me.

"What's going on out here?" Dutch yelled from the parted flaps of his tent.

"Nothing! Just fucking leave me alone!" I yelled, storming off away from it all, my face burning. Arthur's hand tried to catch my wrist but I jerked it away, not wanting to be kept in that place any longer. I headed down the slope towards the river, the only place I could think to go. Half-way down I regretted not going to the horses, but I didn't even know if I could mount a horse with my leg. I wasn't even really supposed to be walking without support, but it was a bit late for that.

I marched down the edge of the river, my feet slamming down on the rocks below loudly. I stopped soon, the adrenaline wearing off and bringing pain to my attention. My leg throbbed with my quick pulse, but my scalp did too. He'd pulled hard, way harder than I thought. I hobbled over to a rock and slumped down, taking in a shaky, stuttered breath as I released the ribbon that held my braid in, fingering the strands apart and shaking my hair loose. I pushed my fingers through my hair and rubbed at my tender scalp as more shaky breaths came, I felt like I couldn't quite pull a satisfactory breath, and I buried my head in my hands. I felt out of control, like my fingers were slipping from the situation and I couldn't quite grasp my own peace like I'd managed before. 

I was always just about able to keep my head, to go along with things and stop myself from lashing out and snapping at every new blow that came my way. But with Micah… I'd strangled him. Even if it was only for a moment, I had my hand around his throat and I'd squeezed. And for what? He'd teased me about speaking to Dutch, it was mild, really. Sure, he'd pulled my hair but I'd provoked him, hadn't I? It was one bad decision after the other–

I was alone for only a few moments before inevitably the crunch of pebbles underfoot came close. 

"Please just don't look at me. I wanna be alone," I said. 

"I ain't sure if I can do that," it was Arthur, of course. "I'm not leaving you out here with a bad leg and no gun," he added, and I realised he was right. I hadn't equipped my holster that morning, I hadn't felt like wearing it most days while I was sitting around camp. 

"I don't wanna go back there," I whispered, hiding my face from him. 

"That's okay. I ain't gonna make you," he replied gently, the crunching of stones drawing nearer until I felt his hand scrubbing back and forth across the top of my shoulders. "What the hell happened?" 

I heard his breath as he crouched down to my level, his hand on my shoulder, clearly wanting me to look at him. 

"He yanked my hair, pulled me right up close to him," I breathed.

"Yeah I saw that part, I was on my way over there to knock a few more teeth loose. But you had it covered, didn't you?" He sounded amused, almost.

"Don't. I ain't proud," I shook my head. 

"What did he say?"

I paused. If I told him the complete truth I'd have to explain how I'd been to speak to Dutch. I didn't think Arthur would be that pleased about me interfering like I had. But I didn't want to lie or hide things from him…

"He was being a bastard because I was speaking to Dutch. He made some comments about how I'm getting all cozy with the men here… it weren't a big deal, I pushed him, it got out of hand," I sighed.

"What's that supposed to mean, getting all cozy?" He snorted humourlessly and I was relieved that he didn't question why I'd spoken to Dutch.

"Who knows? Apparently just speaking to a man means I'm sleeping with him, or trying to. You know how he is, he's speaking out of his ass and trying to wind me up. I'm ashamed to say he was successful."

"Don't be ashamed. It's been tough these few weeks, everyone's been lashing out. I don't blame you one bit," he said, rubbing at my shoulder soothingly. My heart squeezed and soared for him and I lifted my head, closing the space between us and hugging him tightly, pressing my face into his neck. 

"I don't know why I did it. I snapped. I don't wanna hurt no one, not even Micah, I can't believe I–" I stopped, breathing deep to stop myself from crying.

"You didn't hurt him, he's fine. Well enough to talk shit before I came after you," he assured me but it didn't really help.

"That was so ugly of me, I should just rise above it and walk away. This ain't like me, you're right. About what you said before about seeing yourself change in this gang, maybe that's happening," I leaned back to look at him. He was lost for words, his brows curved in distress and his mouth hanging wordlessly open. "I think I just need a break. I've been there since we arrived. I ain't been out and away from everyone for some time now."

"You want me to get the horses? We can ride out– can you ride?"

"I think I'd be okay side-saddle."

"You can ride with me, then, we can set up a camp elsewhere. You want that?" He cupped my face, thumbs stroking the tops of my cheeks. I nodded my head. "Okay. I'll pack us some things and come get you. You'll be alright here for a couple minutes?" He glanced around as he spoke. I nodded my head.

"Are you sure? You don't have to drop everything for me." 

"I ain't got nothing to drop. And even if I did, it ain't no sacrifice spending time with you, you know that," he pressed a kiss to my forehead before getting up. "I'll be as quick as I can, princess." 

"Can we take Rayna? Been a while since she's been out," I caught him before he left. He smiled at me fondly and nodded, then carried on back towards camp. 

I wasn't waiting long, as he soon returned, walking up the path on the back of Rayna. I heaved myself up off the rock and gingerly headed over to him; he dismounted to help me, taking my arm and helping me up the craggy incline to the path where Rayna was waiting. He grabbed something from the saddlebag and handed it to me. My gun belt.

"Put that on, princess. I don't want you going 'round without it in these parts," he warned, and I nodded and fastened it around my hips, taking my revolver out momentarily to refamiliarise myself with the weight of it in my hand. 

"Okay, let's go," I said, and Arthur lifted me onto Rayna's back, then joined me.

"Anywhere in particular you wanna go?" He asked once we were mounted.

"Hmm, there's a real pretty place north from here, if we follow up the Kamassa river. Brandywine Drop, there's this waterfall there, apparently it's beautiful. Maybe we could camp there?" I suggested, and Arthur immediately began down the path.

"You camped there before?"

"No, I ain't even ever been there. My dad liked to fish up there, he told me about it, showed me all the places he went on a map. I had planned to go up there one day but I never got around to it."

"Well, there might be some predators up there. I ain't worried about that, I've camped in all sorts of places; I just remember how you was when we went on that hunting trip with Charles," he said. I chuckled, squeezing my arms around his midriff, leaning my cheek against his shoulder blade.

"I was okay once I was sleeping next to you," I reminded him, and he hummed softly in acknowledgement.

"Okay then, we'll check it out," he said, and we rode peacefully northward, following the babbling water of the Kamassa river as closely as the path would allow. 

"Sadie told me that Colm's gone," I said quietly, and felt Arthur nod. "How're you feeling?"

"It was a little messy. But it's done, and I'm glad about it. It was nice to see him swinging from a rope after what he did to me," he huffed. "My shoulder still don't feel totally right. Maybe it never will."

"It don't? You never said that," I lifted my head and gingerly rubbed at the shoulder in question.

"Feels pretty stiff, can't move it as much as I can the other. Still does most of what I want it to, but I'm reminded of it every time I lift my arms past a certain point. More of a nuisance than anything," he murmured. I silently kissed it, not knowing what to say. "But I lived, that's more than most people who pissed Colm O'Driscoll off can say."

"I'd say you're lucky, but I can't bring myself to," I whispered, sliding my hand around his front, slipping it between the open top few buttons of his shirt and union suit to press against his chest, to feel his heartbeat. "You've been through enough that it'd be in bad taste."

"I got you getting me through it. I don't say it enough but I can't tell you how much it helps having you, I don't know how I'd be feeling if I was alone," he said under his breath. "The way I was after Guarma, when I– when my emotions boiled over like that. If you weren't there I don't know who I'd turn to. No one's ever seen me like that."

I didn't know what to say again. I felt stupid, even a little bit rude not saying anything at all, but all the words that came to mind weren't enough. 

"I love you. And the thought of you is what's getting me through this; watching Dutch change into someone I barely recognise. Watching this gang become more and more strained, all this tension, like we're all moments away from a massive blow out. When I close up our tent and settle in with you for the night, those times with just you and me, it's calm. I… I need that. Right now it's all I've got," he said, just talking as if he was writing in his journal. He didn't need a response, I sensed that, but I wanted to give him one.

"There ain't a single moment I regret joining this gang. Even when my leg hurts and Micah's pushing my buttons, or the Pinkertons are firing bullets at us, I never, ever think about my life before I joined and long for it. You're worth everything we're put through. I'd stay no matter what. You're worth it and more," I told him. "And you deserve all the love this world can give. You're precious, you really are, I don't care what the newspapers write or anything like that."

I snuggled closer, wrapping my arms around him as firmly as they'd allow, pulling him against my chest like I never wanted to let go; because I didn't. I longed to be like this always and every moment I was allowed to taste what it was like I drank it up with vigour. Arthur was precious. He was a treasure to me, something I wished I could keep safe though I knew it was out of my hands whenever he left for another job. My heart ached with dread when I thought about it because I'd never been so full of love for a single person. I never knew I could feel such a way. It was both beautiful and terrifying.

[clummykiddo]

don’t you go (l.h.)

warning: mild violence and smut

word count: 7k+

songfic based on all time low’s “don’t you go”

I didn’t really know why I felt the need to get so dressed up for this party, it wasn’t like I was even going to be there longer than what would please my friends. They had begged me to come for days on end, claiming it was going to be the best party of the year. Considering it was a New Year’s party on a Friday night, I had a feeling it would pretty packed. I for one would rather be at home with my boring boyfriend, in my boring apartment, watching the boring broadcasting of Times Square as the ball dropped tonight. Apparently my friends had other plans, not allowing me to do so another year in a row.

My shaky hands were doing a surprisingly good job at applying the thin eyeliner, bringing out my eyes just enough for my liking. My outfit was a bit more dressy than I would normally choose. My top was black, the solid material cut off just above my chest and transforming into an elegant lace that traveled up to my neck, sleeveless. The skirt which it was tucked into was a light mint green that reached just above my knees, and black strappy heels. My hair was in light waves, coming down center back. I felt like I was wasting such a nice outfit on such an insignificant night.

I steadied myself uneasily as I stood, the heels a bit higher than I was used to. Hopefully there would be chairs, or a couch, or somewhere to sit at the party. Guessing so, since it was at a house.

I walked out of my room as my heels clacked down the hallway to where my boyfriend sat on the couch watching the television with a tranced expression occupying his face.

“How do I look?” I asked hopefully, trying to get a reaction out of him. He turned around, adjusting his narrow glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Wow, you look great hun!” He smiled, turning back around to change the channel. I huffed, a bit sick of the whole ‘honey’ nickname. He made it sound like we were an old married couple, when really we had bought this apartment just a few months ago after graduating high school. We were both ready to move out, and we thought, why not live together? I walked up behind the couch he was sitting on, faced away from me. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, leaning my head on his.

“Are you going to be alright without me? I feel so bad leaving you alone on New Years,” I said, kissing the side of his face. Honestly, it had been a while since we had been… intimate. I was hoping he would at least try to make a move, considering I was here throwing logs.

“Oh yeah, I’ll be fine. I’ve got the Fox broadcast of Times Square, and I don’t really feel like going out anyway. You go, have fun.” He said, shrugging me off him in the slightest bit. I sighed, removing myself and turning towards the counter by the side of the door, checking my phone. It buzzed as soon as I picked it up, my friends texting me that they were here. “Alright, I’ll see you later then.” I grumbled as I shoved my phone into my little black purse. “Actually I might be asleep by the time you get home.” My boyfriend shouted from the living room. I rolled my eyes, what twenty year old goes to bed at 1 on New Year’s Eve?

Sliding my purse up my arm and to my shoulder, I walked out the door, trying my hardest not to slam it. I was greeted by a warm gust of air, weather not being a problem in the early months of winter in L.A. My friends whistled out the window of their car, shouting profane things that would make bystanders think I’m in a relationship with one of them. “Guys, chill. I have neighbors,” I chuckled, stumbling down the steps and into the back seat of the car.

~~

Just as I had expected, the house was filled with people. Music could be heard from nearly every house on the street, so obviously noise complaints wouldn’t be a problem. The front yard was abandoned with but a couple people conversing, but my guess was confirmed when we got inside that no one bothered to be in the booze-less outdoors.

“I’m going for a drink,” One of my friends said, the others following suit. Before I could ask one of them to stay with me since I didn’t know anyone or anywhere in this house, they were hurrying out the door to my right that must have led to the kitchen. I sighed, taking a look around the large crowded living room. I’d hoped I wouldn’t give into drinking tonight, refusing to look like the drunk girl that swayed in an off beat to the music and giggling stupidly. I laughed to myself, these must have been some pretty… outgoing people my friends had grown to know.

Just as I had almost scanned over the whole room, my eyes fell upon a tall boy who stood above the rest, leaning against the wall opposite me with a red cup in his hand. He wore black skinny jeans with an acid washed rolling stones tee that hung off him in all the right places. My eyes traveled up to his face, first taking notice of the dark blonde stubble that spotted around his jaw, and then his mouth - plump lips taken into his mouth before his tongue smoothed over them. I couldn’t help but bite my own at the side of him, he was just… sexy. I next looked towards his eyes, a light baby blue that I hadn’t realized were staring right back at me until just then. I averted my gaze quickly to my feet, blush rising up my cheeks in embarrassment. There’s no way he could not have noticed me basically stripping him with my eyes. It was totally unintentional, I hadn’t even realized I was looking at him until he was staring back.

Soon, a figure stood directly in front of me, wearing the same clothes as the blonde I had been looking at just a moment ago. Shit.

“Excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice, were you just checking me out?” A raspy voice asked, causing my head to snap up to him. Even in my heels, I was a good five inches shorter than him, putting his at quite the height advantage. I stood in awe, almost ready to apologize. “I-I wasn’t, I mean, I uh,” I stuttered. Jesus, I must have looked like an idiot.

The tall stranger chuckled at my struggle. “It’s alright. To be fair, I was checking you out too,” He said, bringing his head down slightly so I could hear him better over the music. His face was now directly in front of me.

I furrowed my eyebrows, already sensing his cocky nature. I laughed in pity, “Sorry, but I’m not really… interested, if that’s what you were thinking.” I don’t know where my sudden ability to speak came from, maybe it was the fact that I had a boyfriend and had nothing to lose by looking like an idiot in front of this guy. This incredibly hot guy, but still.

He faked hurt, grabbing his chest, “Ouch, not interested huh? What, is it the facial hair? I’ve been told I look like a mutt with it,” The stranger said, rubbing his jaw. I let out a laugh, “Yeah, sure. That’s what it is, the stubble.” I said, attempting to escape from between him and the wall, but he side stepped in line with me.

“Wait, so that’s not it then?”

I raised my eyebrows, “What? I just said that it is, didn’t I?” I once again made an attempt to release myself from our proximity, which was once again proven useless.

“No, it sounded sarcastic.”

I groaned, finally making a quick escape to the side of him and walking down the corridor between the living room and a line of doors. I looked behind me, spotting him following me. As much as I wanted to turn around, I quickened my pace.

“Wait, I didn’t even get your name!” He shouted from behind me. I slowed slightly, reaching the end and turning into another small living space through a doorway. I turned my head slightly, “You don’t need my name.”

“Yes I do, how else would I ask around to find out who you are?” He said, smirking once I had gotten to the corner of the room, now stuck.

“Nobody even knows me here, except for my friends.” My arms crossed, now a bit annoyed and confused as to why he was pursuing me. There were plenty of beautiful girls here, couldn’t he just go hit on one of them?

“Don’t you wanna know my name too though? I’ll offer it to you in return for yours,” He trailed off, now becoming desperate. I sighed, leaning my weight on one foot. “What kind of accent is that anyway?” I asked, walking towards the couch that was currently unoccupied by those in the room. He followed of course, sitting down right next to me.

“Australian, actually.” He said smugly. I became curious now, I always wanted to go to Australia and see the country. “So, can I have your name now? I did just give you a piece of information about me.” He wouldn’t stop, very persistently asking. I sighed in defeat. “It’s (Y/N).”

He pretended to fall back onto the couch, grabbing his heart similarly to how he had before. I suppressed a giggle, hoping he wouldn’t notice. “Woah. (Y/N), what a beautiful name.” He smiled crookedly, clearly proud of erupting some amusement from me. I shook my head at how ridiculous he was being.

“So now that you’ve got mine, I need yours.” I said against my will. I should have stopped this interaction, I knew what he wanted and I knew I couldn’t give him that, especially not with a boyfriend waiting at home for me. But damn, if he wasn’t charming as all hell.

“Well, if you really need it, I suppose I can tell you. It’s Luke,” He smiled, opening his hand for me to shake. I left it outstretched, however, preparing my next question instead.

“Ah, alright. Well, Luke, does this always work for you? I mean the whole check out, chase down, pretend to be astonished by every name?” I asked, shrinking slightly as more people began to filter into the room. Luke shrugged, “Yeah, usually. Then I’d offer you a drink, a few more, and bam. Have you in bed by 10.”

I scoffed, getting back up and walking out of the room. He was doing alright until that disgusting comment. Apparently guys don’t understand that women hate being hit on in perverted ways. I shouldn’t have even stayed talking to him for as long as I did, was that considered cheating in itself? I was probably being paranoid, mostly because I was genuinely upset that he hadn’t tried a bit harder. I hoped to God Luke wasn’t following me again as I raced down the corridor and through the doorway to the kitchen, which was much larger than I thought it would be. Plenty of people were pouring drinks and taking shots, many shouts of encouragement echoing around the room.

When I looked around I was startled to find Luke standing right there, looking at me with apologetic eyes. I cursed from the surprise, stepping back a little, as he was very close to me. “Hey, I’m sorry, come on it was a joke. Please?” Luke said, raising his hands in defense. I rolled my eyes.

“I know your type, Luke. You think that everyone’s gonna fall in love with you with just a wink or a pout. I’ve seen that type, and it’s not mine.” I finished. He looked genuinely apologetic, stepping back and letting me have some space.

“That was a dick move, I know. I’m sorry, just let me make it up to you, huh? How about I get you a drink?” He asked raising his eyebrows. I glared, hard. “A VIRGIN drink,” He corrected with a laugh. After a moment I finally agreed, letting him get me a coke from the fridge.

“See, that wasn’t so bad.” He chuckled as I tore the can from his grip. “Unless you drugged it or something.” I muttered, popping the top. He laughed heartily, urging the sides of my mouth to curl up, but I tried to suppress it to the best of my abilities.

“We were doing well, we were learning things about each other. Let’s keep that up,” Luke began.

Before I knew it, we were playing 20 questions in which I made a rule to ask no dirty questions. Luke denied it at first, but finally gave in. I learned he was here for an exchange program in college and he hadn’t actually been in a relationship since he got here, which was a surprise to me. I tried to give out as little information as possible, but found it increasingly hard. By the end of the game, we were nearly crying of laughter from the story Luke had told me about why he got fired from his last job.

“I swear, the entire SWAT team came thinking that we were all being held hostage,” He laughed as I nearly fell out of my seat by the counter, grabbing onto his shoulder for support. “Needless to say, I am no longer welcome at that restaurant chain.” Luke’s story was by far the best firing story I’d ever heard, small giggles still escaping my mouth.

“Alright, let’s raise a toast,” Luke said when he noticed my can was empty, grabbing me a beer from the cooler. I raised an eyebrow, “Oh come on, one beer in harmless, and it’s just for a toast,” He encouraged, nudging it closer.

I gave in, having him open the top for me. “So, what are we toasting to?” I asked, raising the bottle slightly.

“We are toasting to ten o'clock, two hours 'till midnight!” Luke said as I cheered, clinking our bottles and taking a sip. I didn’t realize how much I missed beer considering we never had any at home, and my body took over. I was downing the whole bottle much quicker than I thought I would, pounding the drink and slamming it on the counter in front of me.

I giggled when I turned to face Luke, who was staring wide eyed in amazement. He began slowly applauding my achievement, me getting up and taking a bow.

“Damn (Y/N), you know I love a girl who can hold her drinks,” He teased as I laughed, starting to feel the buzz. “Well, just give it some time, I’ll be a mess with any more,” I said, to which Luke cheered for more drinks. I shoved his shoulder, my mind now wandering.

“What are you thinking about?” Luke asked, standing up in caution as I started swaying.

“I don’t really know. I wanna do something.” I said, looking around for anything to entertain myself with.

“Well, what do you wanna do?” He asked like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Well, I don’t know! Climb a tree or something.” I said, now suddenly craving the feeling of bark under my toes. “Actually, yeah. C'mon.” My hand grabbed Luke’s, suddenly realizing how much bigger it was compared to mine, and pulled him to the back of the house where the door to the backyard was. He opened it for me before I roamed out, eyes landing on a perfect tree.

“Hold these,” I mumbled as I pulled off my heels and handed them to Luke. “Aw, come on. Why do I have to carry them?” He whined jokingly.

I ignored his plea’s and began my journey approaching the tree trunk. Gradually step by step, branch by branch, I made it to the highest point of the tree I could get to.

“Are you a fucking monkey?” Luke laughed, coming up from below me with my heels in hand. I giggled, waving at him in a teasing manner. “I have the height advantage now,” I smirked, although I’m sure in the dark of night from such a distance he wasn’t able to see it.

That’s when I noticed the height I was at, and a sudden pang in my chest was felt. The dizziness in my head invoked by the alcohol I had consumed was taking it’s toll. “I just realized that if I fell from here, I would literally die.” I said out loud, more to myself than to Luke though. He simply chuckled, shaking his head. “Nah, I doubt you would.”

“No, I’m serious! Look at how high up I am! I would die.” I stressed, sobering up slightly as I was already beginning my climb down. Luke still disagreed, “No, you wouldn’t. I’d be able to catch you. Simple as that.”

I scoffed, now sitting on a branch much closer to the ground. “Bullshit. Trust me, that kind of stuff is literally impossible.” I had little faith that he would actually be able to do so in the event of my clumsiness kicking in.

“Hah, no it’s not. Look at how strong I am,” Luke gloated and flexed his muscles, making me laugh, though my gaze lingered for about half a second too long. “Mhmm, sure. So if I fell right now from right here, you would be able to catch me?”

“One hundred percent. No doubt. Go ahead, try me.” He smiled, stepping closer and holding out his arms.

“And you promise this isn’t some scheme to kill me?”

His laugh brought butterflies to my stomach, “I promise, (Y/N).”

I would never be the type of person to just put my life in some guy’s hands who I met about an hour prior, but tonight, I really felt like I had nothing to loose.

Taking a leap of faith, literally, I let myself fall from the branch I was sitting on, screwing my eyes shut and bracing myself for the impact. It never came.

Once I had realized I stopped falling and I still wasn’t dead I let my eyes flutter open. Looking up, there was Luke’s face looking smug as ever.

“You know, to be completely honest, I was wholeheartedly expecting you to let me fall.”

Luke smiled, still not setting me down as my arm came up around his neck. “I would never.”

~~

“Body shots!”

I looked uneasily around the room, suddenly nervous and a bit sick to my stomach with fear. “N-no, I don’t think so. I’ve never done body shots, let alone with some dude I just met an hour and a half ago!” I exclaimed as Luke encouraged me to the kitchen counter.

“Oh, come on. I’m not some dude, you know me! I literally saved your life after you willingly left me to do so. I think we’re on the level of doing some body shots,” Luke joked, but I could tell he was trying to be understanding. I pondered the idea for a moment, sure that I would somehow mess it up. Luke must have been able to tell I was nervous about it, because he then said, “(Y/N), all you have to do is sit there and look pretty and I’ll do the rest,” He smiled as his expression softened.

“You know what, I never do anything exciting. Fuck it, let’s do some body shots.”

The bystanders around us cheered as Luke grabbed my hips and sat me up on the counter. A few other people grabbed the salt, lime and tequila. Luke cut up the lime into thin slices and brought one up to my lips, motioning for me to bite down on it. I did so, the nerves building in my stomach as he moved the hair covering my neck back.

“You good?” Luke asked one more time, and I nodded, glad for his respectful caution. Before I knew it, his wet tongue was sliding up my neck, causing me to gasp. He proceeded to powder salt over the newly wet spot. Everyone in the room chanted as he poured two shots of liquor.

Finally, Luke brought one of the glasses up to his lips, looking at me and sending me a sly wink before downing the alcohol, slamming the glass down on the counter, and standing dangerously close. He leaned in, licking up the white substance on my neck before moving to my lips, biting down on the lime and sucking. Our lips were so close I could feel his breath on my face, his nose brushing the tip of mine. The small bit of distance separating us was excruciating, but I didn’t have much time to think about it before he sole the lime from my lips, replaced it with another, and re-salted my neck.

The process what repeated, slightly steamier now as Luke had nothing to rush to after the salt. Once again, he sucked on the lime, keeping his eyes on mine the whole time. I tried to lean in more, my body taking over, but the damn lime stood in my way once again.

Luke seemed to notice my attempted advancement, suddenly ripping the lime away and spitting it into the sink before bringing his lips back to mine in a desperate heated exchange. Howls and whistles erupted from around the room as my eyes shut, gripping onto his shoulders and bringing him in closer. He stepped forward between my legs, one hand on the side of my face while the other wrapped around my waist. I was pulled to the edge of the counter and would have fallen off if Luke’s body didn’t act as a barrier. Our mouths fit together perfectly, and his wandering hands left behind flames everywhere they touched me. Even on the counter, Luke had to bend down slightly to reach me, easing his tongue in every once in a while in such a perfect way. I hadn’t had a kiss this heated in a long time, and my boyfriend certainly wasn’t able to do it as good as Luke…

Ah shit, my boyfriend.

The palms of my hands pressed to Luke’s chest as he reluctantly pulled away by my wishes.

“Luke, shit I’m sorry. I’ve should have told you… I have a boyfriend,” I sighed, looking up into his eyes that were already curiously peering down at me. By now, the crowd had swarmed off to elsewhere, getting bored of our sight.

Luke sighed in defeat, resting his forehead against mine as he panted slightly, taking a moment to pause. “Well damn, I just might have to fight him for you.”

I breathily laughed and shook my head at his ridiculous remark. “I just… can’t do this. I’m sorry.” I felt all the excitement of the night start to leave me and evaporate into thin air. I hopped down from the counter where Luke had backed up only a small amount, now leaving me trapped between him and the hard surface. He looked disappointed, “Wait, what? Are you leaving?”

“Yeah, I should go, considering I just kind of remembered about my long time boyfriend.” I joked, attempting to move. Luke mirroring my step to the side reminded me of earlier that night when he had first approached me.

“(Y/N), d-don’t go. I swear I won’t try anything, fingers crossed.” Luke promised, crossing his digits and raising them in front of my face. I pushed them away, “Luke, I really shouldn’t-”

“Please? I won’t even look you in the eye. See? If I can’t look at you then I won’t find you beautiful and I won’t want to kiss you anymore.” His hand had been placed over his eyes, face turning away. My attempt at suppressing my laughter was hopeless, watching as he split fingers to open one eye, a smirk growing on his face.

“Alright, I’ll only stay if you keep your hand like that for the rest of the night.”

“But my arm is tired!”

“Too bad.”

~~

My feet traveled confusedly up the stairs and to the hallway of doors, which I’m assuming were all bedrooms. I struggled to find the bathroom, finding some empty beds and some VERY occupied beds, but eventually found my way to the bathroom.

Locking the door behind me, I looked in the mirror at my reflection. My hair had gotten slightly poofy, from the accidental make-out session I presumed. After I finished my business I tried to fix myself up a bit, wiping away the smudge of black under my eyes from the eyeliner and adjusting my skirt so it was level again. Re-evaluating myself, I found that my lips were slightly swollen, causing a blush to rise to my cheeks. I realized that that too was from the intimate moment shared with the blonde waiting for me downstairs, and I couldn’t help but smile to myself.

My hand opened the doorknob, ready to find my way back to Luke down the hall when I was stopped just above the stairs by a hand around my forearm.

I half expected it to be Luke playing some dumb prank, but when I turned to the source of my captor, it was a man about my age, if not a few years older. I thought for a second he was going to ask if I knew where he could find someone or ask a question of some sort, but the unlikelihood of that became clear when his eyes roamed down my body and back up. I suddenly felt disgusted and exposed, wishing I had on some sweats and a baggy t-shirt.

“Hey, you come here alone?” His grip tugged me into him, causing me to stumble and hit his firm chest, before he pushed me up against the nearest wall. My breath hitched, tears stinging my eyes. The fright I felt was horrible, I already know he was much larger than me and I wouldn’t be able to fight him off even if I knew how to.

“No, actually. So if you would let me go back to my friends,” I spat through gritted teeth, attempting to escape. He obviously wasn’t going to let that happen, his hold on my arm tightening as he brought it between our bodies. Maybe if I shouted I could get out of this before he did whatever it was he was planning, although it was very clear what his intentions were.

“So soon? I was hoping we could have some fun first,” He smirked, his hand running up the side of my thigh. I scoffed, attempting to knee him in the crotch. I barely made contact before he blocked my action, kicking my leg down one painful motion. I let out a short yelp before filling my air with lungs, screaming as loudly as I could in what was the most terrified noise I’d ever heard myself make, “Luke!”

I was about to repeat the call for help when a hand was brought up to my face, grabbing my jaw and silencing my yells. “Sweetheart, I’m gonna need you to shut the fuck up,” His tone was less than pleased as his face contorted into one of anger. I tried to back up as much as I could before his hand came up my skirt and started messing with the hem of my underwear.

“Get the fuck off of her!” I sighed in relief upon hearing the familiar voice and steps up the stairs, and soon after, a hard impact and a thud on the ground. The man’s hands were off me as he held his face on the floor.

Luke turned to me, much concern in his eyes. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” He asked, examining me as he put his hands on either side of my face.

“N-no, I’m fine. Let’s just get out of here, please.” I said in a small voice, still feeling the nerves the man had brought me. Before we could turn around, a hand was placed on Luke’s shoulder and turned him around before punching him in the lip. I gasped, instinctively reaching forward in an attempt to help Luke, but it proved worthless as another punch was delivered to Luke’s stomach.

I nearly fell over upon seeing Luke bend over slightly, cradling his abdomen. “Luke!” I screamed, as if trying to get him to wake up. He suddenly stood back up straight, his back still to me. His elbow came back, coiling before smashing hard right into the other guy’s nose. The action was repeated several times until the man was on the ground, Luke then kneeling over him and delivering more punches.

“Oh my God, Luke, stop! Please!” Honestly, I wanted to see the scumbag on the floor in pain for what he had done, but I knew if Luke persisted he could get arrested for assault.

He seemed to come to his senses when I called him, ceasing the next hit he was prepared to deliver. Luke stood up finally, turning to face me with a worried expression. That’s when I was able to see the blood dripping from his lip, a deep cut now on the left side of his mouth.

“What? Are you okay?” He questioned again. I shook my head, “I’m fine, but you’re bleeding. Come here,” I sighed, grabbing the hand that was not bloodied and dragging him to the bathroom.

I shut the door behind us, just in case the man somehow was able to recover and try something again.

“It’s just a cut, (Y/N). Honestly, I’m fine.” Luke grumbled, but I could tell with each word he was cringing.

“No, you’re not. Just let me clean you up, okay?” I said, forcing him to sit on the toilet lid and grabbing one of the hand towels, wetting it under the sink. I brought it to a lukewarm temperature and took his hand in mine, gently dabbing the cuts on his knuckles to which he winced.

“Luke, thank you, so much. I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t showed up,” I said, not even wanting to think about the possibilities. He shook his head, “I should’ve killed that prick. What kind of man thinks he can touch a woman like that…” Luke’s anger was clearly arising again, so I brought his hand up to my lips and pressed gentle kisses to them.

“You’re making it really hard for me to not kiss you right now…” Luke trailed off, eyes never leaving mine.

I smiled, “Sorry. I won’t do it again.”

“I wasn’t implying for you to stop… ah, dammit.” I giggled at his frustration.

“I’m serious though, thank you. You saved my life… for the second time tonight.” Luke chuckled, nodding. “Yeah, guess I did. I’d do it again if I had to,” He smiled, cheeky as ever. “How is it that even when you’re injured you’re a flirt?” I asked rhetorically, rinsing the crimson off the washcloth and moving back up to his lips that were still dripping with blood.

“Just comes naturally, I guess.” Luke smirked, pouting slightly so I could dab his lip. I found it increasingly hard to concentrate on anything but him since he never looked away from me, our eyes locked.

In an instant, his face was leaning forward to reach me in my squatting position, bringing his injured lips onto mine. It was the second time that night I had felt sparks that I never felt with anyone but him, and it was the second time that I never wanted it to stop.

The towel dropped from my hand as he held my hand in his, pulling in to the back of his neck so I could latch on. His hands went straight to my waist, pulling me up so I was now standing between his legs in contrast to the last time we had kissed. I leaned down, desperate to feel him, but Luke had another option as he guided me to sit down so my legs were still between his while I perched inwardly on his leg. His arms wrapped around my back, bringing me as close as possible. I toyed with the hairs at the base of his neck causing him to groan, and I couldn’t help but feel accomplished.

“(Y/N), I… I can’t stop myself…” Luke said quietly between kisses. I pulled away slightly, locking my gaze with his.

“Then don’t.”

~~

It seemed so reckless, the whole thing - sneaking into an empty bedroom in the house of someone who I didn’t even know, with a boy who I met just a few hours ago, whom was not my boyfriend. But the thing was, in the moment, I really didn’t give a shit.

“Would it seem really creepy if I lock it?” Luke asked with a smile playing on his lips. I giggled, “It would probably be bad if you didn’t lock it, so no.”

Luke nodded in agreement as he twisted the lock on the door, our worries and cares being locked out along with the rest of the world. He came back over to me where I stood by the bed, which I assumed was a guest bed since there was nothing really personal in the room.

Luke smiled as he brought his head down to mine to continue the kiss we had started in the bathroom, now struggling to keep his hands from roaming over my body. I smirked into his mouth as his hands nearly slid down to my backside, but I stopped him before he could reach it, grabbing his arms and pulling them up to my waist.

“Oh God, you’re not a tease, are you?” Luke joked, taking my hands in his and sitting down on the bed. I smiled and pecked his lips, “I guess you’ll just have to find out, huh?”

Luke playfully groaned and tugged me down so I was sitting on his lap once again. The kiss deepened and soon our bodies were pressed together as closely as possible. Luke turned us slightly, gracefully laying me down on the bed now while my legs rested over his lap.

I couldn’t restrain myself anymore as I pulled at the hem of his shirt, hinting at what I wanted. Luke broke away for but a second to remove his shirt, giving me time to admire his body. I gasped when I saw the deep purple bruise that had formed from his confrontation with the man from the hallway.

“Shit, Luke, I’m so sorry about this.” I sighed, fingertips grazing over the dark mark. He seemed unfazed by my touch, keeping his eyes on me. “Hey, don’t apologize. I’m fine, can barely feel it,” Luke chuckled, holding my hand in his against the thump of his heart. Butterflies erupted in my stomach at his intimate touch, I couldn’t help the small smile on my lips.

“Your turn,” He said playfully, untucking my shirt from my skirt. He allowed me room to sit up slightly and remove the material, tossing it off to the side with the growing pile of clothes. Now it was his turn to admire, eyes finally given permission to see my exposed chest.

“You’re so beautiful (Y/N), holy shit.” Luke swore as he began to slide his touch up my stomach and to my breasts. There he stayed for a while, looking up at me while he playing with my left nipple and sucked on the hard nub, making me whimper. The process was repeated on the other side before he came up to connect his lips with mine.

My hands traveled down to his belt, unclasping it with ease and unbuttoning his pants, urging him to shove them off. He got the message and kicked away the material as it fell to the floor. The bulge in his boxers was prominent and straining against the thin fabric, and I attempted to give it some release. My hands delved into the waistband of his underwear, easily gripping onto his length and rubbing small circles into the tip. Luke groaned my name at the sudden contact, “Fuck, you are a tease.”

Luke’s hands wasted no time in grabbing the waistband of my skirt and pulling it down my legs, being sure to stop at my feet and remove my heels for me. I giggled as he took a second to suck on my toes before kissing his way back up my legs, stopping at my upper thighs. He planted wet kisses at the seam of my lace panties, taunting me.

“Luke fucking… what’s your last name?” I suddenly asked while trying to make my statement. He chuckled, “Hemmings.”

“Luke fucking Hemmings, you are way worse a tease than I am.” I whined, bucking my hips slightly for his touch. His lips curved up in a smirk, glancing at me for a second before pressing his mouth directly over my core and puffing a hot breath through my panties. My back arched, gasping at the sensation.

Luke’s fingers hooked under the lace and tugged them down. The amount of time he took to scan over my heat caused my cheeks to turn pink. Finally, he put his hands to use and rubbed up my slit with his thumb, stopping at the clit to rub and tease. I was moaning his name quite loudly by the time he came up from the side of the bed to kiss me.

“When was the last time you felt this good, baby?” I was taken back by his dirty words, but very turned on. I struggled to get out a response as he added more pressure to my clit, eventually sliding a cheeky finger in. I gasped, pleasure suddenly overcoming me.

“Fuck, you look so gorgeous.” Luke groaned as I involuntarily clenched around his finger. He slipped another one in, speeding up the pace slightly. My hand went to grasp the sheets of the bed, the other twisting in Luke’s hair. He knew I was close, and considering it had been so long since I had last been with anyone, it was surprisingly easy. But I didn’t want to come yet.

“Luke, stop,” I said, grasping his forearm as he worked in and out of me. “I want you to be inside me when I come,” I said, my words breathy as I watched his expression go from one of determination to lust.

His fingers fumbled with the bedside drawer, desperately searching for a little tin foil packet. “Luke,” I giggled, holding up the package between my fingers and waving it at him. He smirked, leaning over me to grab the packet, ripping it open with his teeth. The condom was rolled up his length once he had kicked off his boxers and was now aligning himself with my center.

“Are you ready?” Luke asked cautiously as if it were my first time. “For fucks sake Luke, I’ve been ready,” I said as he laughed, glancing up at me one last time before pushing into me.

I gasped at his size, not even completely in, yet he was filling me.

“I-I need a second,” I stuttered as we remained stationary. Eventually I gave Luke the okay to move as he circled his hips gently.

The more he moved, the better I was able to adjust, and the more I needed him.

“Fuck (Y/N), you’re so tight,” Luke groaned as he restrained from being too rough. My back arched, only being able to suppress my moans by Luke’s lips attaching to mine in a desperate need to connect ourselves even further. His hips moved slowly, causing me to groan in frustration.

“You can move now, please,” I pleaded. Luke smiled before drawing out almost completely and filling me back up slowly, gradually speeding up the pace.

Swears and sounds of pleasure filled the room and all I could focus on was the feeling of Luke completely connecting with me. Luke hit a spot within me that had my toes curling, and he must have noticed because he continued to do so until I was pushed to the edge, teetering on my orgasm.

I felt Luke twitch within me and that was when I was sent tumbling over the edge, my walls clenching around Luke, bringing him to his own shattering orgasm. My eyes flickered open, enjoying the scene of the handsome man coming undone before me.

Once we had finally come down from our highs, Luke stayed buried within me and connected our gazes, still a panting mess.

“Hi,” He chuckled, brushing a few strands of hair out of my face so he could see me. “Hey,” I giggled back, wrapping my arms around his neck and bringing him down for one more kiss.

“Do you wanna come back to my place?” Luke asked, finally removing himself from me, leaving me feeling a bit cold and empty.

“Haven’t we already completed what happens 'back at your place’?” I laughed lightly, sitting up when he had rolled off of me and handed me a blanket to cover up with.

“Hey, there’s always time for seconds.”

~~~~

The bright light shining through the blinds was hot on my face, blinding me the second my eyes had opened. I took in my surroundings, unfamiliar sheets making my mind go blank for a moment. It was all a bit fuzzy from the previous night, but it wasn’t long before I remembered who the attractive blonde boy next to me was and how we got here in the first place. The flirting, the drinking the sex- oh god, the sex, and how amazing he was. How in just one night, he had proven himself to be one of the most exciting men I’ve ever met, not to mention sexy.

That’s when I remembered that I had a boyfriend waiting at home for me, probably thinking I was too drunk to drive myself home and the rest of the girls were staying over at the house, so I did as well.

The immediate guilt washed over me. I had cheated on him, the guy who I thought I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, the guy who was always so good to me, the guy who I thought I loved. But, did I really love him if I was willing enough to betray his trust?

I sighed, turning on my side to face the boy I had chosen over my boyfriend.

Luke looked near angelic with the morning light shining over his tanned skin, his hair an unruly mess from our activities from last night. I found myself becoming entranced with his features, just as I had back at the party. His eyes were still fluttered closed, deep calming breaths being the cause of the steady rise and fall of his back as he laid on his chest, hugging the pillow.

I began stroking his hair, wishing I could stay in this moment without having to deal with the problems I had yet to face.

He groaned as he must have been woken from his sleep, and my hand froze immediately. Luke’s eyes squinted over the light as he finally registered that it was me, and soon a smile overcome his lips. He outstretched his arm over me and pulled me towards him by my waist.

“Good morning, gorgeous.” Luke said tiredly, his voice husky and gruff. I immediately smiled, loving how he made me feel just by a simply compliment.

“You know, I really should leave.” I sighed in discontent when I realized the reality of all this. It was just a little hook up to help me explore my life outside of my boyfriend.

Luke’s expression shifted to one of confusion. “What? Why?” I could hear the disappointment in his tone.

I sat up, taking the blanket with me over my chest. “Because, Luke, I have a boyfriend. I can’t just leave him in the dirt. I mean, we both knew what this was…” I trailed off, hoping to God that I hadn’t hurt his feelings. Because for me, it was somehow hard to be saying goodbye.

He shook his head when I swung my legs over the side and began pulling on my underwear, followed my bra and dress.

“No, (Y/N), neither of us thought of it as just a one night stand, and you know it. We are so good together, tell me honestly that you didn’t feel something between us.” Luke was quick to stand up and pull on his boxers, followed by a pair of sweats he had lying by his bed.

I shook my head, wishing he would kick me out. That would’ve made this easier. “Luke, please don’t…”

Luke cut me off before I could finish my thoughts, now clearly desperate. “(Y/N), you cannot tell me that this meant nothing to you. If this was just a one night stand, you would have left the second you woke up. If this was such a mistake, you would have never come back here, we wouldn’t have had the night we did. But you did come back with me, you did stay with me, because you know you don’t want to go back to your life. Because you know that we have something here.”

It was nearly impossible not to fall right back on his bed, wishing I could stay there. “Luke, this isn’t my life. This isn’t who I am, I’m not meant to be here.” I groaned, walking around to the other side of the bed and towards the door, but Luke stood in the doorway. Not only did he want me to stay, but he knew that we had something special. He could feel it too.

“No (Y/N), you’re scared of the life outside of the one you have. You’re scared of leaving all that you know to just be you and be something that you’ve been wanting to be.” Luke was saying exactly what I already knew. I wanted to be here, I wanted to stay, and he could see that I was apprehensive.

“Please, just stay. Stay for a little while longer, and if you really want to leave after today, then fine. You never have to see me again.” Luke’s hands were now resting on my arms, sliding down to my hands and erupting goosebumps across my skin.

I debated for a moment, staring into his pale blue eyes.

“Just for today.”

Luke’s grin spread across his face, arms sliding around my waist and pulling me towards him before pecking my lips.

“That’s all the time I need to change your mind.”

Of course, he was right.