#choices dom

[nat20composure]

Astarion and Agency- The Necessity of Discomfort to Self Discovery and the Infantilization of Victims

Minor Astarion discourse ahead that mentions the treatment of SA victims post-abuse:

I want to open this post up just with like. The statement that I don't think there is a correct way to enjoy media and that I LOVE to see individual head cannons and takes on characters in media. I think that is also, to a degree, an integral part of video games because of how unique the experience of playing a game will be to every person who plays it. But it has been making me feel so incredibly sad looking through fan content, art, or discourse for BG3 specifically because of how many people have taken the route of infantilizing Astarion.

I understand the instinct to shield or protect an individual that you love and care for. I also understand that because of the nature of the things that Astarion goes through, a lot of people also feel very deep emotional stakes in him. I'm one of the many fans of the character who is a victim of SA and CSA, I really do get it. That is also why for me personally it is so demoralizing to watch so many people treat him like he is a child who cannot make his own decisions or stand up for himself. Part of that frustration stems from it feeling like a media literacy issue, and the other part of that sense of defeat is just because it feels indicative of a broader attitude that people seem to hold towards victims of abuse, particularly those who are victims of SA.

To explain what I mean by people infantilizing him: I see so many people refuse to allow him the opportunity to be hurt, or to feel uncomfortable. They see this character who has been through an immensely horrible and traumatic experience, and their instinct is to try and shield him from anything else that has the potential to upset him. I get that the people who want that aren't doing it with malicious intent, but frankly it is not really...Helpful? To try and prevent victims from Experiencing Discomfort tm. I also think it kind of disregards the entire thesis of Astarion's character and arc.

When you go through something that robs you of your selfhood and agency, the world can become a crushingly terrifying place. In Astarion, that fear presents itself in a desperation for power, control, and at the core of both of these desires- Safety. One thing the game is clear about is that he has a right to kill his abuser. He has a right to escape his situation. A lot of Astarion's personal arc is centered around being able to finally do that. But the game doesn't just leave it off at getting him to safety. So much of it is also about him needing to take responsibility for himself and his actions, with needing to learn who he as a person is.

The inclusion of the Gur children and Sebastian as characters is a good example of ways in which the game gives Astarion the opportunity to take responsibility. I think that if the intention of the arc was meant to be that "Astarion should never ever have to deal with being afraid or uncomfortable again", then the Ascended arc wouldn't Come with such heavy moral ramifications, like sacrificing the other people just like him, killing the victims he lured in, literal child murder. The game infers that he doesn't deserve to die because of the things he Needed to do to survive, but it also makes it very clear that there is a difference between addressing an Active Threat and using your fear as an excuse to hurt others. Breaking that cycle of abuse when he finally gets the chance to is what separates Spawn Astarion from Cazador.

Taking responsibility for himself, and letting himself sit in the discomfort of vulnerability ultimately ends up being a thing that he is very proud of and cherishes. If you tell him you will make sure nothing like that ever again he himself says that he doesn't want you to be his protector. And so it blows my mind when people go into all of these discussions about Astarion with this...Weird moral high ground for never, ever making or letting him make choices that might hurt him?

I see this the most when it comes to discussions about the possible polyamorous relationship with Halsin and the interaction with the drow twins in the brothel. So many people are just...outright angry? At other people engaging with either of those options? And I feel like that anger is one) rooted in the projection of their Own feelings on non-monogamy and what a victim of SA can or cannot look like. and two) Relies on undermining the agency that Astarion BEGS you for at every turn.

When it comes to the drow twins, the game adapts Astarion's response to them based on where he is in his own personal development (a really cool thing imo). Obviously, if he still doesn't feel good or safe about engaging with sex he declines and says you can feel free, though he hopes you aren't just doing it because he hasn't had sex with you. I think this makes sense: He's just gotten out of a situation where his Safety and worth were directly tied to him having sex. I imagine he feels afraid that not wanting to have sex with you makes him replaceable or inadequate because at this point in the game, he feels like that's all he has to offer. The interaction is relatively the same if you ask him for a poly amorous relationship with Halsin: He just asks you to reassure him that you aren't only doing it because he hasn't had sex with you, and then tells you he isn't worried about it otherwise.

A lot of people have taken the expression of that insecurity in combination with him still allowing you to go forward and do these things as him just "sucking it up" because he's afraid of losing you. (I am aware Shadowheart says he wouldn't be able to handle it when you ask her if you can date both of them- But keep in mind, Astarion says she wouldn't be able to either, and THAT obviously isn't true of her. For the purposes of this discussion I'm only including interactions with Astarion as a judgement of his character.) I understand that concern, but I feel this take disregards so many other points of dialogue, and is also continually rooted in the baseline vilification of discomfort.

To further go into it, the way that he speaks about both of these interactions changes significantly if you speak to him about it once he is completely free from Cazador, and has had time to allow himself to start reconnecting with himself and his sexuality on his terms. He has absolutely No reservations about an open or poly relationship with Halsin, and says he trusts that things will be ok because he one) feels secure in Your relationship and two) Knows Halsin is experienced and trusts him to not be a messy bitch about it.

I think that shift, in combination with the in game explanation of why he isn't ok with being in that sort of relationship with the other Origin Characters (for Lae'zel and Wyll, he says they'd never agree to that. For Shadowheart, he says she's not experienced with open relationships and that he doesn't think it'd work out. For Karlach, that it would break her heart. And for Gale, he says you need standards.) is a pretty good indicator that he doesn't actually care about polyamory or monogamy. I think the vilification of that choice relies on you picking and choosing when you do or do not believe Astarion or just outright not liking non-monogamy in the first place. This interaction has more to do with the player's choice and comfort level, and so is not as important to the broader discussion I am trying to have in this post.

The interaction that is more pertinent to not Allowing him to make decisions is, I think, the drow twins. If you interact with the drow twins after the completion of the Cazador questline, he is outright giddy at the prospect of interacting with the Drow twins. Specifically stating that he is excited to see how he likes these sorts of things now that he's free.

NOW- I do NOT think that he enjoys the act. The game makes that abundantly clear, and I'm not arguing that he has a great time. He obviously does not, and dissociates during it. That being said, allowing this interaction to happen does not make a player evil or selfish. You are not playing the hero if you decide to moderate his choices just because you do not think he is ready for it. Once again, no one is evil for Not doing it either, and I am not saying anybody has to want to. I am just saying that treating this choice like it is an evil choice to make relies on completely disregarding what He wants to do.

Astarion says so many times in the game that he is anxious about finally having the freedom to find out what he wants to do, and I think that his excitement for the drow twin exchange is one of the opportunities the game gives him to make a choice. He makes that choice- And it sucks for him. He doesn't enjoy the act, and having done it he would be able to move forward knowing that. I think it's really cool and important that the game represents that facet of recovering as a victim. While you are trying to renavigate who you are, you are going to make a million new choices you never had before. And sometimes those choices are going to suck ass. It would be a different matter if he knew these things would hurt him and went ahead and did them anyway. But so many people expect him to move forward avoiding even the Potential of being hurt, and I think that is extremely reductive of his arc and who he is.

Beyond the matter of interpersonal relationships, the choice between Ascending or not Ascending Astarion is not a matter of choosing the lesser of two evils. It is a choice between his fear and his humanity. Between letting his trauma and his fear define him for the rest of his immortal life, and allowing him the vulnerability of deciding who he is when he isn't running from the world. When he's willing to listen to the parts of himself that want to do right, that wants meaningful connection, that wants to be proud of himself. That wants to meet himself. To confront who he is when someone else isn't deciding that for him.

Astarion as a character is extremely ambitious, inquisitive, and adventurous, three traits that only become more and more evident as he breaks free from letting his own fear dictate how he lives his life. I don't understand how so many people can see him and want to take the core of his character away from him, when he spends the entire game fighting desperately to take it back.

Victims are not casts of the abuse they have gone through. Their shapes may be changed by the hands of others, they may have to relearn how to be the person they want to be. But they are not broken or irreparable or fragile. They do not need to be freed from the grip of one person to be held tight in the grip of another. It is so fucking unfair and self-important to think that your hands will be the ones that fix them. That your hands know better than theirs. I think the kindest thing you can do for a person is to trust them with themselves, and to listen when they tell you who they are and what they want. Please listen to the voices that have only just learned to speak. It is the only way they can get better at doing it.

[sunburnacoustic]

Silver foxes

Matt and Dom's bold predictions for Muse's future, including a stellar moment where Matt asks a young and thoroughly confused Australian interviewer if he feels sexy, as well as Muse's predictions for how hot they're going to be aged 45. Safe to say, those predictions were absolutely true ;)

[wolfsbanekisses]

this morning I found my sub hanging their head off the edge of the bed, mouth open, all but begging me to fuck their throat when they’d woken up not five minutes before… they’re taking to their new purpose in life rather well, I think

[whimsicalcotton]

nooo don't get stuck in a timeloop and have hundreds of meaningful encounters with me that i'll never remember

[superherocapturedbydemons]

The Cast of Wynonna Earp via Instagram

[laxmiree]

[CN] MLQC Lucien’s On Fire MQ translation + video with sub EN (Part 2/3)

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️

This post contains a detailed spoiler for an MQ that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~

On Fire MQ | Part 1 (1-2) | Part 2 (3-4) | Part 3 (5-6) | Moisturize ASMR

[Warning]: The content of this MQ is currently the most explicit compared to other dates and may not be suitable for individuals under the age of 17 (CN server). It is recommended that those who do not meet this age requirement refrain from proceeding beyond this point.

Part 1 & 2-> [Here]

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[Subbed Video, TURN ON CC!]

✂———————–

—[Part 3]— Video Timestamp: [11:53]

After finishing the bedroom arrangement, comes a rare night of good sleep.

Upon waking up, sunlight filters through the blinds, dancing across the room. Lucien is dressed in plain cashmere pajamas, reading reports by my side.

Seeing me wake up, he sets down his pen and reaches out to hug me.

Lucien: [chuckles] Not going back to sleep anymore?

His pajamas is a bit cold, so I shift closer from under the covers to wrap us both in a blanket.

MC: Mmm, I've had enough sleep already.

I nuzzle my head into his embrace, my chin resting on his shoulder, rubbing against his small warm patch of skin.

MC: It's a bit chilly, last night seemed much warmer than now.

Lucien wraps his arm around my waist, freeing the messy hair that had been pressed beneath my shoulders while I was sleeping.

Lucien: There was a power outage in the early morning, the heating system was interrupted for a few hours.

I sit up groggily, reaching for my phone at the bedside, only to realize it had run out of battery last night and was already powered off.

Lucien hands me his phone, with a single-digit battery percentage remaining, displaying a power outage notification sent by the organizers late at night.

MC: "Temporary Notice: Power maintenance in the town. Estimated power outage from 5:00 to 12:00. Please make necessary preparations."

MC: Who can be prepared for this!

Subconsciously, I furrow my brow and mutter a complaint, but I immediately stop myself.

Yesterday, I promised to convey more positive emotions to Lucien. I can't ruin it now!

MC: Let it be, if there's a power outage, then so be it.

I flop onto the bed, then with a sudden inspiration, I lean over to rest on Lucien's shoulder and flash him a smile.

MC: Consultant Lucien, do you think the power outage is also arranged by the organizers, just like the "bedroom makeover"?

Lucien doesn't rush to answer. His fingertips touch the corner of my smiling mouth, tracing along the curve gently, as he murmurs softly in a low voice.

Lucien: [whispers softly] I adore the way your lips curve into a smile right now.

MC: Hehe, if Consultant Lucien could divulge a bit of insider information about this experiment, maybe I'd be even happier!

Lucien smiles noncommittally as he wraps his arm around my waist and lies down face to face with me.

Lucien: [chuckles] Unfortunately, I'm now a participant who's as clueless as you, Miss Experimental Subject.

MC: [doubtful] Hm? Really…

Considering the fox in front of me repeatedly pretended to be clueless, I look into his eyes, trying to discern some clues.

Yet, observing his calm demeanor, I faintly sense that he indeed hasn't displayed exceptional acting skills in this matter.

I turn my head slightly, then smoothly lie down against his chest, idly playing with the buttons on his cuff.

MC: What do you think we can do to pass the time?

I pout and look at Lucien, who has been watching me intently, his eyes filled with subtle amusement.

As our eyes meet, my desire to lazily lie in the arms of the one I love this morning outweighs all other thoughts.

So, I nuzzle against his chest, snuggling up to his familiar body temperature.

MC: I've got it, let's just enjoy the morning like this~ You can keep reading your report, and I'll just keep lying here in your arms.

The sunlight filtered through the blinds scatters upon us, casting a gentle honey hue on Lucien's irises.

Lucien: Okay.

He props a pillow behind my head, adjusting me to a more comfortable position against him.

The light is dim, peacefulness fills the air, and only Lucien's rustling of papers can be heard as he reads the report.

Last night, I washed and dried the newly bought bedding before going to bed. Since I didn't have fabric softener, I added a few bottle caps of shower gel into the wash.

The scent on Lucien's body and mine should have been the same as the bedding, but everything seems to be different when it comes to Lucien.

I prop up my chin and gaze at him, then lean my head towards his shoulder, gently sniffing.

The scent of shower gel mixes with the ink from the pen, the ink from the printed paper, the aroma of new furniture wood…

All the scents are warmed by his body temperature, flowing together like a stream merging into the sea, forming the embodiment of him at this moment.

I can't help but be filled with affection. I gently nuzzle against the exposed skin along the collar of his shoulder with fondness.

Lucien flips through two reports, then reaches out to touch my hair, his gaze bearing a questioning expression.

Looking into his calm gaze, I can't help but entertain thoughts of pushing things further. With a smile playing at the corners of my mouth, I press my lips against his skin and suck gently.

Lucien: Mm?

Lucien: This lady who enjoys the morning... Are you now in the mood for breakfast?

I release my mouth from Lucien's smoothly sculpted shoulder, and a faint, moist dark red mark appears. I reach out and poke at it.

MC: I'm not hungry, you can continue reading the report.

I stuff the report back into Lucien's hand. His eyes seem to have become a bit more moist, and his gaze slowly shifts to the spot where I had just sucked, then back to the report.

I obediently wait for a while, making sure Lucien's attention is on the report. Then, I press my lips against his skin again.

Starting from the dark red mark just now, I gently peck and trail kisses, tenderly gliding towards the two curved collarbones hidden beneath his collar.

The skin beneath my lips trembles for a moment, then quickly returns to calm. I raise my head to observe Lucien, whose eyes are still fixed on the paper.

I suppress the smile at the corners of my mouth and continue my attack towards the next spot.

My lips pass through the tightly buttoned lapel, landing on the side of his waist. My tongue gently swirls around, leaving a shiny, wet mark.

I part my lips and nibble on this "territory", leaving a faint red mark behind.

Lucien: [grunts sexily]…!

I’m like the greedy serpent in the Garden of Eden, having taken a bite of every apple, yet still insatiable as I look for ‘food’ everywhere.

Until Lucien puts down the report in his hand.

He grabs my restless hands on him with one hand, pinning them above my head, and gazes calmly at me with an inquisitive look.

Under his gaze, I show no sign of "repentance", and instead I chin up defiantly.

MC: Have you finished reading the report?

Lucien: Not yet.

MC: Then, will you continue reading?

He gently tilts my chin back, wordlessly locking eyes with me, his gaze deep and enigmatic.

The air in the room seems to have become humid imperceptibly, and the next moment, a scorching breath falls on my neck.

Lucien: [whispers] It seems studying my reactions is what makes you happy this morning.

He's very close to me, and the hot, moist flow of breath from his lips as he speaks brushes against the skin on my neck, causing me to shiver instinctively.

The murmurs from his lips at my neck quietly shift to my ear, tinged with a husky chuckle.

Lucien: [whispers hoarsely] To make this lady even happier, why not take it a step further?

After speaking, Lucien lifts the blanket, his shirt in disarray, with traces of my actions visible all over his skin.

Like water droplets splashing on white silk, a few scattered red marks slowly spread on Lucien's body, staining the surrounding skin around them with a crimson hue.

The smile I've been suppressing spills over my lips.

MC: Then, I'm in charge now.

I dodge Lucien's hand, which is about to pull me into his arms, and roll over to reach for the pen lying on the nearby report.

Lucien lets me undo the disheveled buttons. As the sunlight filters through the blinds, it becomes thinner, casting stripes of light onto us.

I take out the pen that I've been holding in my hand, its cold and smooth body gliding leisurely over the patches of light and shadow on his body.

As I pass over those conspicuous red marks, I deliberately press and twist the pen body as if sealing and stamping them down.

MC: With me doing this... how does it make you feel?

Lucien looks at me, his eyes filled with a smile that conveys his ease.

Lucien: [hoarsely] I like everything you do on my body.

MC: Uh-huh, wrong answer, not that one.

I twirl the pen in my hand, using the end that hasn't been warmed by body heat, lightly tapping his chest as if writing.

The icy touch noticeably catches Lucien off guard, causing his muscles to tense for a moment, and a light exhale escapes from his throat.

Lucien: [exhales sharply]…..

He looks up at me, the sunlight casts a narrow beam of light on his face below his nose, while his eyes, shrouded in shadow, appear even deeper and more profound.

MC: Do you have any new thoughts now?

Lucien: I'm thinking about your technique, it's like stirring flowers and plants…

Lucien: Gently stroking the branch, unfurling the petals and leaves…

Lucien reaches out, covering my hand holding the pen, his fingertips slipping into the gaps where a thin layer of sweat has formed, lightly clasping.

MC: [smiling and blushing] Mm~ still not quite right.

My lips linger on his hand for a moment, gently taking his fingertips into my mouth.

MC: I don't want your carefully crafted response…

Lucien's gaze momentarily freezes, and then his slender fingers curl, grazing over my tongue.

The small stimulation causes an involuntary moan to escape me. I struggle to contain the desire to completely indulge in it and release his fingers from my mouth.

MC: You... you haven't told me... what your body's senses are telling you yet.

I seem to have lost patience as well, so I swap the pen with my fingertips, letting my hands roam all over him.

The prolonged tension in his muscles causes fine beads of sweat to appear on Lucien's body. I'm using my fingertips to trace circles on the sweats, gazing at him intently.

A hint of confusion and hesitation crosses his face, yet he remains composed.

Lucien: Your fingers are a bit cold…

Lucien: The places covered by the blanket are warm, but my exposed skin feels a bit cold because of the air seeping in through the window crack…

I let out a satisfied sigh, as a stray strand of hair is brushed away by a slender hand. There seems to be an undercurrent of emotions in his eyes as he silently watches me.

Lucien: [hoarsely] Miss, what else would you like to guide me to say?

MC: I think…

Before I could finish my sentence, my waist is suddenly gripped tightly, and the world spins before my eyes as Lucien flips over, and pins me down beneath him.

Lucien: [whispers] You've been thinking for too long. So, next, let me be the greedy guide, okay?

My lips are pressed down slightly firmly, and between our intertwining breaths, the joy I've been suppressing surges up like a tide.

I no longer endure the soft moans at my lips, allowing my senses to indulge in experiencing every inch of pleasure.

MC: Mmh…

Lucien: [chuckles and kisses wetly] I think…. the guidance just now wasn't complete. I can make it more thorough.

His lips fall down again, and a slight pain makes my whole body tremble involuntarily.

Lucien: [bites and kisses gently] From here…

He raises his body upwards, his tongue and breath engulfing everything. And in that moment as our bodies merge, I hear him whispering intimately on my lips.

Lucien: [MORE wet kiss noises] To here…

My heart is so warm that it feels like it's melting, and I'm following his guidance, looking for places that make each other feel more pleasure.

The muffled laughter blends with our breaths, while the emerald green blanket draped beneath us.

The light entering through the blinds creates an uncertain interplay of light and shadow as our bodies intertwine; the only certainty lies in the touch of the other.

It's as if we are lying in the waving grass, undulating with only each other until dusk.

(T/N: ‘waving grass’ being used as a euphemism because the green blanket making wave underneath them is genius🤪 also, dang they're really going at it 12 hours non-stop from early morning to evening; rip his unfinished works, hopefully, it doesn't cost him his sleep-)

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—[Part 4]— Video Timestamp: [21:37]

As the experiment schedule progresses, we gradually adapt to the occasional surprises and scares that the organizers throw our way.

Sometimes, we have to earn "laundry vouchers" through games, and just when we think there will be a bigger "surprise" the next day…

Apart from finding small gifts piled up at our doorstep, nothing else happens.

Thanks to these thrills, Lucien and I lead fulfilling daily lives in the small town.

And now, we are standing in the bustling and lively market, engulfed in the sea of people.

MC: Wow, is this fruit stuffed with dried fruit? It looks so delicious! And those sugar-filled snowballs, I've never seen them in Loveland City before!

I'm drawn to the sight of various delicacies, and when I snap out of it, my bag is almost full.

MC: Ahh, I need more bags!

Lucien's eyes are filled with my reflection, and he smiles lightly.

Lucien: If I were to give a mood scale, I'd give this little lady a very high score right now.

MC: Of course! Today is the last day of the experiment, and there won't be any more of those occasional "unexpected events"~

MC: And as a reward for all the hard work we've put in, today we can enjoy zero-cost shopping all day!

Lucien: It sounds like MC has some opinions about this experiment?

Recalling the beginning of accidentally joining the experiment and the process of various emotional experiments, I ponder for a moment.

MC: ...It's not that, but it's my first time participating in such a large-scale experiment, and I still feel like it's different from what I imagined.

MC: The organizers often arrange unexpected small activities and even give out gifts…

I recount a series of experiences from these days and come to a conclusion.

MC: Actually, it's not too far off from our initial intention of coming here for vacation~

MC: After all, isn't encountering odds and ends also part of vacation?

Lucien: From what you're saying, it sounds like optimizing the experiment model is indeed necessary.

Lucien reaches out and helps me pick up the cookies placed at the back of the stall, tossing them into the bag.

Lucien: Actually, I was involved in the original design of this experiment's model, but the model itself wasn't as interesting.

Lucien: Perhaps to increase interactivity and fun, the organizers optimized the model based on theory during its implementation.

MC: No wonder! With these "optimizations," even Professor Lucien couldn't figure out the organizers' "surprises".

The warmth of the sunlight fell on Lucien's face, warm and comforting, highlighting the smile on his face.

Lucien: [chuckles] I enjoy these 'surprises', they're worth leaving us with memories.

I raise an eyebrow, stuff an empty bag into Lucien's hands, lean in, and look up at him with a smiling face.

MC: [smiles widely] So let's create some even more special memories. Today's menu is in your hands to decide!

Lucien: Is this a test for my experimental subject, or is it a challenge for this "vacation town"?

(T/N: he called ‘cooking’ his experimental subject njddjndjndf how cute-)

MC: Perhaps it's both?

Lucien chuckles and smoothly takes the bag.

Lucien: [chuckle] It seems I can only accept the challenge.

Under the midday blue sky, the bright sun shines, and the warm aroma wafts from the food stalls, settling on Lucien as he walks around.

His consistently well-groomed hair is fuzzily tinged with light, making it fluffy and warm, giving him the appearance of a little fox going around and seeking food to store up before the winter.

We passed by various stalls, yet after half an hour, there was only one vegetable in Lucien's bag. I teasingly approached him with a bit of laughter.

MC: After wandering around for so long, how come you've only bought these lettuce leaves?

Lucien takes out the lettuce from the bag and seriously explains to me.

Lucien: [in a serious tone] This is hydroponically grown loose-leaf lettuce. The leaves are compact, and currently, it's the freshest produce I've come across.

MC: That water celery we just passed by also looked fresh, but why did you pick it up and then put it down?

Lucien: That one is soil-grown. In this season, hydroponically grown water celery has more moisture and better flavor.

MC: I didn't expect Professor Lucien to be so knowledgeable about vegetables. I thought...

Lucien seems to be amused by my comment; the corners of his lips curve into an almost proud arc.

Lucien: I just applied the experience of raising flowers and plants to vegetables, drawing parallels and adapting the approach.

Lucien turns around and walks to another vegetable store; it's also water celery, but the price has more than doubled compared to the one we saw just now.

I watch as he prepares to put other vegetables into the bag, silently choosing to avert my gaze from the price list.

MC: [sweating profusely] Ahem, it seems like we've bought enough vegetables. How about we go and get some meat?

In front of the butcher shop, the well-dressed Professor Lucien calmly speaks up.

Lucien: Boss, if we want to make dumplings, what type of meat is more suitable?

Owner: Oh, that would be the foreleg, handsome guy, this piece here is a good choice.

The owner points to a piece of meat, and before I can take a closer look, he picks up a knife and turns towards me.

Owner: How much do you want?

Caught off guard by the question, I feel a bit flustered and hurriedly think about the quantity.

MC: Less than one kg should be enough...

Owner: I'm busy right now, so I'll try to cut as few pieces as possible to avoid holding up the people behind you.

Lucien: Wait a moment, please don't cut yet. Is this foreleg meat?

Lucien suddenly speaks, leaving me a bit confused.

Owner: What do you mean? Is it not clear that I'm the one who sells meat?

Lucien takes the meat hook from the side and flips through the pork shoulder on the edge of the cutting board.

Lucien: The shoulder blade extends upward from the pig's front leg. When cutting, to make it easier, a portion of the shoulder blade meat is often cut together before further division.

Lucien: Here, there's no muscle pattern of the shoulder blade that aligns with the piece of 'foreleg meat' in your hand. Instead, it aligns with those pieces in the corner.

Lucien puts down the meat hook, smiling slightly as he squints his eyes, the curve of his lips gentle.

Lucien: There are fewer fascia in the muscles of the foreleg compared to the hind leg. I suppose the owner was too busy and accidentally took out the hind leg meat.

The owner's face turns slightly pale, quickly followed by an embarrassed smile as he hands over the genuine foreleg meat from the side, giving us a discount.

Owner: Oh, I must have been too busy! The meat looks almost the same anyway. Take it, and have a good day!

I glance at the price difference between the foreleg and hind leg meat, and can't help but let out a soft grunt.

MC: Boss, don't forget to treat yourself to a pair of glasses when you're making money!

I take the bag of meat and as I walk out, I playfully tug at Lucien's sleeve.

MC: I bet the boss thought he could take advantage of you since you don't buy groceries often.

MC: But our Professor Lucien is a genius, and the boss's sneaky little trick got ruthlessly exposed!

MC: How do you even know the difference between front leg and hind leg meat? It couldn't be some research experience, could it…

Lucien meets my curious gaze, his eyes revealing a hint of cunningness.

Lucien: In clinical experiments in neuroscience, we often deal with animal anatomy. Would you like to hear related stories?

I look at the pork in my hand and swallow.

MC: No, no need! Let's change the topic, shall we? Like... what do you think is the difference between buying groceries yourself and accompanying me to buy groceries?

Lucien ponders for a moment and quickly gives me an answer.

Lucien: The biggest difference is probably changing from an observer to a decision-maker.

Lucien: I need to think about the taste of vegetables and the texture after cooking. Whether you prefer them tender or crisp...

He sighs lightly, meeting my gaze with candidness. His brows furrow, as if analyzing some complex data.

Lucien: [sighs] ...This makes me a bit troubled.

MC: [laughs] Why does it sound like buying groceries is more challenging than conducting research for you!

I stand on my tiptoes, cup his face, and rub the furrow between his brows. Lucien chuckles.

Lucien: [chuckles] It's not really challenging, just might require a bit of courage.

Lucien: I need to personally seek out and prepare, delve into these bright, warm... sometimes a bit dangerous corners.

I can't help but chuckle softly as I help him carry some of the bags.

MC: But I really like seeing you like this!

Lucien: Mm, I also noticed that this little lady seems to really enjoy seeing my troubled look while grocery shopping today.

MC: Humph, because it's very cute and quite rare to see.

Lucien seems to have already anticipated my answer, and he winks at me.

Lucien: Have you noticed that this reaction is the opposite of the conclusions we reached about emotions a few days ago?

I pause for a moment, then quickly catch on.

MC: Right! Negative emotions are supposed to influence each other, but just now, I found you to be so cute when you seemed troubled.

MC: Maybe because I know these little troubles won't discourage you, but instead, they'll provide you with the pleasure of a challenge from another perspective~

Lucien tightens his grip on my fingers, a hint of a smile playing on his lips.

Lucien: In this light, those somewhat "negative" emotions don't seem so terrible, do they?

Lucien: The emotional fluctuations in our day-to-day lives are just a very small part of our overall happiness.

I smile knowingly, taking his hand as we head towards home.

MC: Then I won't push myself to be a girlfriend who's happy every single moment anymore.

MC: Let me just be the girl favored by Professor Lucien~

✂———————–

—[Memory Silhouette]— Video Timestamp: [28:41]

As the New Year approaches, the supermarket is even more crowded, with shopping carts loaded with goods weaving through the aisles under the decorative lanterns hanging all around.

Lucien emerges from the bustling crowd, purposefully striding towards the sparsely populated kitchenware section.

He stops in front of a row of pots and pans, carefully examining the product descriptions. His brow furrows involuntarily, so he decides to grab a few, preparing to feel them in his hands.

Salesperson: Sir, are you choosing pots? If you have a family of three or more, I recommend this one here. If it's less than three people, the one in your right hand is good.

The salesperson, who has been idle in the kitchenware section for a while, enthusiastically approaches, launching into a sales pitch about the features of several pots.

Salesperson: This is our best-selling item in the store! It features 16 cooking modes, comes with 3 types of pots, and you can even download our app with a vast collection of recipes…

Lucien squints as he listens to the salesperson's extravagant sales pitch, glancing down at the instruction manual in his hand.

Lucien: The so-called barbecue function seems to be just designing the lid of the pot as a grill pan, which probably won't achieve the heating power needed for a true "barbecue".

Lucien: Moreover, this pot has a relatively short warranty period, and the after-sales service centers are only available in select cities nationwide…

As Lucien calmly continues his inquiry, the salesperson's expression gradually stiffens, until they are left speechless.

Lucien pauses for a moment, then smiles and speaks again.

Lucien: However, it seems my girlfriend is using the same model. Could you please help me with the installation?

The salesperson hesitates for a moment, then visibly relaxes, quickly pushing over an oversized shopping cart, which Lucien politely declines.

Lucien: I only need one pot, no need for a shopping cart.

Salesperson: Haha, alright then, please carry it yourself. By the way, it's best to use a wooden spatula with this pot, do you have one at home?

Salesperson: If your girlfriend enjoys making soup, it would be best to have a matching wooden soup ladle…

Salesperson: For boiling soup, it's best to use a dedicated anti-scald stew pot with a safety power-off feature. After all, most household accidents tend to happen in the kitchen, and this is also for the safety of your loved one…

This time, Lucien listens in silence to the salesperson's “targeted promotion”, his gaze focused. His eyes land on rows of kitchen utensils, and he raises his eyebrows a bit, making a silent selection.

Lucien: I'll choose the spatula myself.

Lucien: Please fetch the anti-scald stew pot for me, and also…

Lucien looks towards the empty shopping cart not far away and taps his knuckles against the heavy kitchen utensils.

Lucien: Could you please bring that shopping cart over here?

From the stew pot to the chef's knife and then to kitchen shears... in order to create a safe and easy-to-use kitchen environment for her, the shopping cart is now filled to more than half its capacity.

Lucien: Apart from the kitchen utensils, I also need to purchase two sets of aprons and gloves, as well as kitchen-specific cleaning supplies…

Lucien: [chuckles helplessly] ...there's quite a lot to prepare.

Lucien glances at the time; it's almost been an hour. It's time to meet up with her.

Lucien: That's all, thank you.

As Lucien walks towards the checkout counter, he realizes that, for once, he's like everyone else in the supermarket, pushing a cart filled to the brim.

The level of meticulous preparation for a single cooking session is even more exaggerated than he had anticipated.

He wants to succeed, he wants the dishes to be more delicious, he wants... her to like them after tasting them.

Lucien: Falling into the trap of consumerism... is it because of this mindset?

Not far away, a familiar figure is waving at him. The closer they get, the more surprised the expression on that face becomes. Lucien can't help but laugh.

After she sees him, she will probably say that she just wanted to buy a new pot.

Part 5 & 6-> [Here]

[girl4music]

Waverly going on a temporary trip to Egypt to reconstruct a corrupted Black Badge Division.

Waverly and Jeremy. The BIG brained duo.

Honestly, I’m happy for her. I acknowledge that Nicole couldn’t come with her due to the whole Angel’s Shield stipulation but then I think that would kind of be counterintuitive and counterproductive if she could. This is WayHaught’s necessary break from each other to find their own paths in life and follow their own ambitions - and to be actually EQUAL in their marriage which I kind of understood was the point of the contention between them in the special. Nicole was holding Waverly back. Not selfishly as such. She just didn’t realize Waverly wanted more - or more specifically - wanted to be more than just a wife.

Nicole wasn’t around for Waverly declaring “Shut your patronizing mouth garbage. I can be a hero AND a wife” but their wedding vows were pretty pointed when it came to that. They need equal partnership and for Waverly, that means having an adventure where she can use her full potential and learn new things and just be her own guide and warrior in life.

It’s not that it’s not something Nicole doesn’t want either. It’s just that she already has it with being the Sheriff of Purgatory and she’s fully satisfied with that. What she does want - however - is something much more personal and that is to have a kid with Waverly. Which - I mean - ugh… every time I think about this subject I just have a screaming “what about Rachel?!” response come from the back of my mind because where is Rachel and why isn’t she mentioned? That WayHaught conversation was the time for her to be but they cut all that short following Mina showing up.

I mean I like it when WayHaught get interrupted but not like that. Not when they were about to have an important conversation that we really needed to hear - at least as far as… WHERE THE FUCK IS RACHEL?!

But yes, I am satisfied with this next step in Waverly’s journey and I believe it makes complete sense for her.

Can they actually manage long distance? Maybe their libidos can’t. But time will tell whether their love for each other is strong enough to withstand separation. And for them to be equal partners in life and love. In marriage and heroship. This is what it’s going to take. Can the WEARP fandom be okay with that? I don’t see why not ‘cause surely they’d want them both to grow.

As for me - I’m used to seeing main female characters that are in a relationship go off on their own for awhile to do their own thing for their individual development. I expect it. More than that. I encourage it. WLW/queer relationships are great and I love seeing WayHaught together. But I also love seeing them individually too and how their dynamic changes and evolves based on the contrasting effects of being together vs individual. It’s one of the things I love about Xena and Gabrielle. How they’re so much a part of each other that they can be separated and still be whole characters alone and I don’t like any form of art/entertainment that perpetuates the ridiculous notion that they can’t be because it’s insulting and condescending as all fuck.

I wasn’t worried about the conflict for WayHaught in the special in the slightest once I realized where it was going because I knew they would resolve it just fine.

I just wish they hadn’t cut THAT conversation short because even if Waverly didn’t answer Nicole about whether she wanted to start a family with her or not, I still wanted them to talk about RACHEL because ??? It was just a gross oversight of a significant character from Season 4 of the TV show and the only thing I can honestly say really bothered me about the special because even if Emily doesn’t consider Rachel to be WayHaught’s adopted daughter, I still need to know about where she even is, why she isn’t mentioned and how WayHaught aren’t fucking concerned about her!

Everything else in the special that I disagree with I can take with a pinch of salt and be just like “meh, it’s whatevs. You can’t please everyone” but NOT THAT! If Emily just wanted to erase Rachel from the storyline, that’s a choice that has to be acknowledged in the characterization because - what the fuck, Emily?! 😑

[bearsbeetsbeskar]

Who is your favorite Pedro character?

This is just a general poll cause I am curious and I wanna know everyone else's preferences!! I am a Din gal through and through, there is nothing I do not love about that bucket head bitch and his green son, but Frankie Morales and Joel Miller are a close second (thanks to the beautiful fic that is out there for them)

[bigbadwolfpuppy]

got so close to safewording last night cause they exploited one of my greatest fears

took the wheel to my ankles like they were slitting my Achilles’ tendon (seriously so afraid of that) but I was a good boy and held out!

find you a sadist who will listen to your fears and then take advantage of them for scary sex reasons

[birbwell]

I know full well that your Catface and Wally art is crack ship, but knowing nothing about the source material, POTE is all about a pathetic priest twink clinging to his ginger daddy bear boyfriend for safety to me

i know i haven't posted a ton of cateran stuff, and i understand you don't know the source material, but i'm sure that even from the few fanart ive posted of them and the few times ive talked about them, this feels like a severe trope-ification of them that i really do not enjoy

[33minimilk33]

Link is so bby gorl rn, it’s got me feeling some type of way… (￣▽￣)

[lostprincessfantasies]

One of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite movies! ❤️

[tudoacabaemtorrada]

I love the judgment day, don't get me wrong

But i really hope rhea finds others in her own category to align to

She ends up not really interacting with jds story lines and only dom interacts with her

They were hinting at adding someone to the team and i love Andrade, he's really really good, but i hoped so hard itd be a woman...

[gillianthecat]

I have Not been doing what I should have been doing this week, which is Not Great. BUT. I have been feeling the urge to watch BL again, so I been flittering around streaming services and binging some and dropping others. Here's the list of the 18, in the order I watched them, with brief thoughts on each. My rating (out of 10) are in [blue]. Feel free to ask me to say more about any of them!

Pit Babe (2 eps) [7]

Fun, enjoyed the tropiness of it, intrigued by Jeff/Alan, whatever secrets Charlie and Jeff are keeping, and that drifting competition which was hella sexy. I like my omegaverse fics "non traditional" so i appreciated that the first BL out there was alpha/alpha. I wasn't engaged enough to keep going, but would like eventually to pick it up again. One of the few shows I'm not filtering the tag for, so I'm enjoying other people's reactions and gifs.

My Personal Weatherman (finished) [8]

I wanted to love it more than I did, many aspects were wonderful, but the leads never felt like real characters to me, just seme/uke tropes fulfilling their roles. Actors very pretty though. I have a bunch of notes I may finish and post eventually.

Laws of Attraction (finished) [9]

10% of it was terrible, 10% was completely nonsensical (instagram live-ing your date while on the lam? really??), 10% was mediocre, 50% was good, and 20% was sublime. Film was phenomenal as the complicated lawyer with his thousands of smiles, and I now have a crush on him. I started watching a het lakorn for him afterwards (Lucky Star, free on Viki, very soap opera, he and his costar are great). I loved grandma and the batshit ex. I've already forgotten parts of the plot. Wish it could have been higher heat, the restrictions kinda fucked with Charn and Tinn's chemistry in the second half, after they got together, but Film made it work with his coy blushing maiden routine. And their chemistry pre-dating was fire. Second leads were cute and I do love me a pining bodyguard, but sadly the actors were kinda eh.

I Became the Main Role of a BL (1 ep) [9]

I am very excited about this, doing so many things well, balancing slapstick and humanity, all the little details are great. I like how the "real world" is still tropey and absurd but also noticibku more grounded than the "drama" world. I'm invested in the managers' stories. I have hopes for its sexiness, given how Aoyagi was touching Akufuji's arm in their rehearsal. Love love love Akufuji stanning.

Double Mints (finished) [5]

um. I didn't hate it. I didn't like it exactly, but there were some poignant moments. My first actually dark BL (I know Pornographer is classified as dark, but it didn't feel that way to me). Possibly there's some profundity in it, but it didn't grab me enough that I want to spend the time thinking about it. Also many plot things that didn't make sense to me. Perhaps just translation issues? Unlike the next on my list, this wasn't porn, it was a violent yakuza story. Not actually very explicit given that it's supposed to be high heat, with the significant exception of a rape scene.

The Shortest Distance is Round (Noir) (finished) [5]

I mean this is literally softcore porn with a weird dark plot around it. I think most of the actors are actual porn actors; I know the lead is. I could have thoughts on the story, but I feel like I'd need to know more about Japanese cinema to say anything meaningful. Just saying, the sexual harassment at the beginning is the tamest bit. Also a hilarious misdirect with the dead fish sleep kiss (at least for me who was going in blind). Some of the sex was hilarious (goat boy!) some of it was creepy and rapey, and some was genuinely hot.

Mr. Unlucky Has No Choice But to Kiss (3.5 eps) [7.5]

Fun and fluffy, like the premise, the seme character has charm, but soon lost interest in that level of slapstick and tropiness. May eventually finish.

Love Stage Japan 2018 (half an ep or so) [6]

Liked it more than the Thai version, which I saw a few episodes of. The set up makes more sense. Soon lost interest in that slapstick style. Wouldn't avoid it, but no current urge to return.

Utsukushii Kare 2 (My Beautiful Man 2) (finished) [9]

I love them so much! As the middle section, it didn't work as well on its own as season one (a hothouse masterpiece) or the movie (their blossoming), but it was an important bridge in their journey.

Utsukushii Kare Eternal (My Beautiful Man Eternal) (finished) [10]

So amazing. I wasn't sure that they could make a good ending of this story but they knocked it out of the park. Managed the tricky balancing act of having Hira and Koyoi grow up and learn to have a healthy relationship while still remaining their kinky weird selves. Echoed season one in so many beautiful and meaningful ways. I may eventually write more about it.

Long Time No See (movie) (finished) [7]

I didn't recognize the title so o started it without knowing anything about genre or plot. I wanted to like this much more than I did. Theoretically I am into all the elements. But somehow it didn't work for me. It felt hollow, or rather like the outline of a movie rather than the movie itself. Nothing really felt real to me. Perhaps just my mood, perhaps because I didn't recognize the name and so went in to it completely lost and confused. And the sex scenes all felt a little off, a little fake to me. Like the actors were kinda uncomfortable with it. It was very low budget for its concept, and I think needed to either be full kdrama length (maybe 8 full episodes) of get somehow even artier about it to be an atmospheric film. Which it should have been, and all indicators pointed to it, but somehow wasn't. I think I needed to know the characters better to care about. Which may or may not have required learning more about them; there are characters I've felt deeply that I knew very little about, but somehow not with these two. Also I couldn't get the sister's deal. It felt like she was hinting she knew the assassin secrets? But also not. Anyways, the leads were very pretty. And the shot of them stumbling out of the final fight was moving. I may write more later.

Dom (a Strongberry short) (dnf) [4]

Only 13 minutes long and I couldn't finish it, even with 1.5x speed in parts. Experimental little short about anthropomorphized condom boxes, and there's some sort of human plot about a virgin and his cheating boyfriend that I lost track of. It's not bad, just not what I was in the mood for.

Bake Me Please (like 10 minutes of ep 1) [5.5]

When I was talking about not being into cooking themed shows this is the kind of show I mean. It already had a bunch of tropes that are not for me, particularly random normal people treated like celebrities, and people on tumblr seem frustrated with it so it didn't feel worth pursuing.

Ossan's Love (2018 Japan) (2 of 7 eps) [8]

Seems very well constructed to be exactly what they wanted it to be. My enjoyment of that sort of slapstick and yelling style show depend on my mood, and I lost interest, but want to return eventually because it's a foundational show.

Love Mate (less than 1 ep) [7]

Some appealing elements, but got annoyed at the employee's negging and pushiness. I guess I'm too particular about realism, but in what company would it be acceptable to turn a meeting about their product into a psychoanalytical critique of why your boss can't love. Also I es confused by the bosses dating strategy. He just regularly meets up with men 1 time for awkward meals that he seems to hate and then doesn't even have sex with them? Or were we supposed to infer the sex was just censored out? Not the biggest deals but both together indicated that this show was going to play loose with logic in a way that would irritate me. And the seme was being a pushy ass.

Naked Dining (Zenra Meshi) (finished) [8.5]

Loved it overall, though had flaws. Loveblogged it so many thoughts in the tags.

My Ride (4 out of 10 eps) [7]

See today's liveblogging for my thoughts. I like many aspects, but lost interest after four eps. Didn't catch me up enough to want to binge it. I think I'm in an actor centric mode, and unfortunately none of the actors are that good in it.

Every Moment That I Think of You (finished) [8.5]

Randomly found on Gaga, 2 very short episodes from China 2021. Very appealing leads, censored, high school romance/intense friendship, partially through the pandemic. Fit a year's worth of story into 28 minutes. Surprisingly solid, though made me want to see the full length uncensored version of their love story, same actors. Ending confused me. Subtitles of voiceover implied that was their last night together but didn't say what happened, but nothing and was shown. Perhaps just a bad translation? Very low budget (sound mixing was amateur) but did a lot with what they had. Chaotic adolescent boy camera work and editing style, always moving, which fit story very well. Recommend if ok with censored stories.

[aduh0308]

why do you always write sub beomgyu ?? . Do you mind changing it once in a while . /gen

ofc!! the majority of what im writing is asks from my old acc that were in my notebook. both dom and switch gyu are coming up.

[sunburnacoustic]

Jonesey's Jukebox interview: The way Matt's just kind of eyeballing every little bit of his own life and has no memory of anything and Dom's just like "Do you want a real answer?" is just. Dom is the historian in this band. Dom's the only one who remembers anything lol, Chris may remember bits but that's certainly not Matt

The band's very own MuseWiki, Dom Howard