#choice and accountability

[aces-and-angels]

verified by: 90-ghost follow the ayyad's asmaa: @asmaayyad israa: @esraayyad14* sama: @samaayyad15 *= israa's alt. account @esraayyad18 has been suppressed

dear moots/lovely lurkers,

allow me to introduce you once again to the ayyad's. they are a wonderful family of 8. all of them led beautiful, rich lives-- here are some of their stories:

"I am Asmaa from Gaza-- a lawyer and a graduate of Palestine University... I am 25 years old... I have also been living far away from my fiancé for two years, I cannot reach him because of the increase in the coordination price and the closure of the crossings and borders." "My name is Israa from Gaza. I have always dreamed of becoming a doctor after I finish high school, but what happened in this war, the destruction of schools and universities, the suspension of education because of the war, and the death of many students, made me a girl who lost her passion and only wanted to end the war on the Gaza Strip." "Hello, I am Sama from Gaza... I am 15 years old... I was studying middle school and my educational career stopped completely here in Gaza, our life stopped completely." (the following excerpts were pieced together from posts/messages from asmaa and her younger sisters- israa and sama)

their family has been displaced numerous times. lost friends and loved ones. they don't live through the days- they survive them. no one should suffer through this immense pain on their own. there is power in numbers. please do your part by sharing/donating if you have the means

[poobirdy]

bingqiu human/demon role reversal as requested by alliechickfics on twitter! for a modest donation to the listed organizations and individuals over at SVSSS Gotcha 4 Gaza, you too can get a prompt fulfilled in exchange.

[lizzybeeee]

Dragon Age 2, with it's production time of only 14-16 months, is infinitely superior to DATV which had a production time of 10 years.

[evilmortymortimer]

Is this anything

[shalom-iamcominghome]

May your chanukah be wonderful, resilient, and full of blessed joy 🕎

[sealsdaily]

I'm so done with staff i hate that they're just going full mask off now

[halorvic]

[one-awesome-beetle]

i wanna see an autistic regulus shutting everyone out often, but even more so when he's overstimulated, so james is used to reggie telling him to leave him alone, but not minding when he ignores him and stays. then one day, james doesnt understand why it suddenly bothers him. i wanna see regulus being overstimulated but socially isolating himself constantly, so james cant tell when its ok for him to stay and when its not. can we see that please?

[rdr2gifs]

''the morning light, when it comes to me, it was there but I could not see''

Arthur’s life was profoundly shaped by his self-hatred, lack of self-worth and disbelief in the existence of kindness in a seemingly dark and cruel world.

I strongly disagree with the statement that Arthur only became a ‘’better’’ man after being diagnosed with tb. His struggle with his true/inner self is apparent as early as chapter one. ‘’You are not who you think you are, sir… which is lucky’’

He has lived a rough life, raised by criminals and surrounded by violence ever since he was born. It was installed in him early that his value lied within being a violent enforcer and he has lived this life since, knowing nothing else. As a highly aware person, Arthur's actions weight heavy on his soul. He accepts that his actions have consequences. He knows that a person who has caused so much suffering is not meant to have happiness in life. His way of life has caused him to believe that he is not worthy of love or redemption. He doesn’t want to believe that a person like him could be capable of any good. (a thing to note here is that imo, Arthur’s actions near his death weren’t attempts at redemption but rather a strong desire to do right and possibly be his true self.) This is why he keeps living as he does as it’s the only thing he’s ever known, it’s the thing that brings him profit, praise from the person he looks up to and he is already damned so he might as well continue living this life anyway.

The internal problem Arthur faces is that this violent, cruel way of life doesn’t align with what I’d call his true self/ideals. He is torn between the harsh reality he has known and an unconscious yearning for righteousness/love. To be able to carry on with his actions he must enforce certain ideals within himself, such as: I am bad, ugly, nasty, ignorant, mean etc. He also decides to see the dark side of reality, telling himself that the world is a grim dark place and this is just as things were meant to be. This is why he feels so uncomfortable being complimented for his good deeds, because a bad rotten person like him should not be able to do good. It breaks the image he has built for himself and he doesn’t want that happening. This can be seen a lot during the ‘’Money Lending and Other Sins’’ missions where he is unusually mean (even for his standards) to each of the debtors. Imo, he acts this way because he must truly convince himself of being a terrible man to be able to carry out a job which revolts him so badly. In the last debt collecting mission with J. John Weathers, it can be seen in his face/expressions how much he is struggling to put on a tough, uncaring, heartless act. He needs to maintain a ruthless persona to survive in the world he knows. He must convince himself of his own cruelty.

''Forgive me, but that's the problem. You don't know you.''

Contrary to Arthur’s beliefs, he is a naturally kind-hearted person who is unconsciously drawn towards kindness. And yes, even before he was diagnosed with tb. This can be seen in the people he respects the most and, in his willingness to help strangers (notice how he often does unnecessary acts of service for total strangers such as: carrying their things, holding out hands etc. even though they had already troubled him). Despite the life he has lived, Arthur does not enjoy violence, he does not enjoy hurting people. He doesn’t want to dominate over others. He thinks mostly about others and not about himself. This fact alone is very telling of his character.

He writes about Charles, a man who he truly respects: ‘’He’s a better man than me. He does not need to think to be good. It comes naturally to him, like right is deep within as opposed to this conflict between GOOD↔EVIL that rages within me.’’ A man who is not struggling with his inner self would not have written this. To me this clearly implies an inner desire to be a better man. He writes about his mentors: ‘’I love Dutch like a father, but in many ways, I love Hosea even more. He’s kind and fair and like a human being. Dutch is something else.’’ Clearly showing a preference for Hosea who is of a more gentle nature and shows genuine kindness. Unsurprisingly, these are the people who see through his dumb/though act and encourage him to drop it.

When he comes across Brother Dorkins for the first time, he writes: ‘’(he)was one of those innocent people who make you feel better about human beings and about yourself a little. Must be odd to see all that goodness in the world. Place always seemed dark and brutal to me.’’ Expressing how he does not see goodness in the world, implying lack of good examples/kindness/good experiences in his life. Yet, the monk leaves an impression and imo, this encounter (seeing genuine goodness) disrupts Arthur’s perception of what the world truly is. ‘’Just as evil begat evil your whole life long, so good may begat good’’ (what strengthens my belief in this, is the following, symbolic scene of Arthur realising the consequences of his actions right after picking up a crucifix. He was aware of them before sure, but is unable to truly ignore them now having seen it right in front of his eyes). If only Arthur was presented with more examples of goodness in his life.

''You have it in you... I can tell!''

His desire to do as much good as possible after realising he won’t live long is instant. This would not be the mindset of someone who did not already possess kindness in his heart. ‘’Know glory and forget about shame.’’ Arthur’s shame and self-loathing caused by his previous actions were what was holding him back from allowing kindness into his life. Knowing that he has limited time left has not made him into someone he wasn’t before. The diagnosis was a catalyst, allowing him to embrace that love/goodness truly does exist and accelerate the process of chipping away from the persona he has made for himself. This was a newfound understanding for him as in the past he was rejecting any notion of kindess. In himself and perhaps the whole existence of it. ‘’You keep hidden all that matters, even from yourself.’’

After being diagnosed, he writes: ‘’What kind of a man have I been? What kind of a man am I? What world is this we live in? A land of fury or a place of love? Am I being prepared for eternal damnation? Am I past any kind of saving? Is that all fairytales? Man ain’t got much good in him. I ain’t got no good in me… I don’t think and yet I see goodness. I see it. If not in me, in good folk. In Abigail and her love for Jack. In that silly monk. In Downes, I guess. Begging not for himself but for the poor, even though he was near starving himself. Maybe I don’t want salvation. Part of me has always longed for death.’’ This entry perfectly shows how deep Arthur’s self-loathing goes and just how much it has damaged him. As his journal allows a look into his true feelings, he truly does not see a single good thing about himself. He knew for a long time that the way he lives is detestable but he could not let go of it. Not because he didn’t want to, but because it’s all that he has ever known. He didn’t believe in anything else. This sudden acceptance of goodness has allowed him to see clearly, which was obscured from him before, and for the first time, enabled him to act free of past regrets for what is right.

⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪

Arthur’s redemption is not about becoming a good man. It is about finding the strength to change and recognise your true self despite a lifetime of self-loathing and breaking free from destructive beliefs of the past.

In Arthurian legends a stag is a symbol of the unending quest of spiritual knowledge/enligtenment

[northern-passage]

a little update.. what i'm working on/prologue changes so far:

no prologue! it’s chapter 1 now

removed the option to leave clementine behind. you have to take them with you :3c

removed height options (sorry!)

in general, edited the cc to flow better

combat preferences have been adjusted-- all still the same but i've made it more obvious how each specialty works mechanically which will hopefully make fights more intuitive to win (or lose, if you want)

genderlocked the sibling. officially a Sister

edited a LOT of dialogue; hopefully it's an improvement and feels more natural

restructured the wraith fight so that it's consistent with the fight in blackwater. with the changes made to the combat preferences this should make the combat system overall cohesive now <- i'm still working on this currently but i am HOPING to finish it by the end of this month.

i have pretty much rewritten the entire prologue. wasn't my plan at the start but here we are... so things are quite different. but also the same. i also streamlined a lot of the choices & branches and cut/combined ones that i felt were just excessive.

i plan to update once i've finished making & importing these changes, and i will probably limit the demo to chapter 1 (previously the prologue) until i get through and edit chapter 2 (previously chapter 1) because i really don't want to have the demo be inconsistent for however long it takes me to get through the next edits. hopefully this will not take that long, and then i'll put chapter 2 & and part 1/what's already been published of chapter 3 back up. and then!!! i will move on to finishing chapter 3.

i know this probably isn't the update you all were hoping for but i'm excited for the next steps with tnp :-)

[muffinlance]

It's Sunday. I had plans. Clean the house, do some laundry, some life admin, the gym, find a body of water to enjoy what's presumably the last hot day of the year. Instead, I stumbled across 'Salvage' this morning and I have not done anything else but read it all day. I dont even go there, to quote the ancient Gods. I have not even seen a single episode of this show. But I cannot stop reading it. It's so so so so good. But I have no AO3 account so I can only leave Kudos there. So here's my comment: ARGHHDUWHAULA THIS IS SO GOOD I WANT TO CLAW MY FACE OFF!!!

But if Claw Face Off, how can Read More Fics?

(I have 19 Avatar fics posted, if you do get an account. Only 2 or 3 for those not logged in.)

[aces-and-angels]

PSA: PLEASE READ ‼

zinaeleenyamin -> ahmednimer (new account; prev. was terminated)

verification source here

@ahmednimer thank you for sending this message to me:

i am so glad we were able to find each other's pages again! i will respond to your initial message separately/reblog your content in a moment. please reblog this on your account as well so that it will be easier for more people to follow you again in the meantime 🖤

to my friends/strangers alike: ahmed has has already reached out to me in the past and i have promoted his family's campaign multiple times here on my account:

"Ahmed worked as an accountant in a company, but with the escalation of the war, his professional life came to a halt, and his goods warehouse was burnt, along with his completely destroyed home. They fled to the north, but now they live in the tents of the displaced in Deir al-Balah. The situation is not easy, especially with his wife's upcoming childbirth and their fears of lack of healthcare and unhealthy conditions. Their children suffer from widespread diseases and long for their previous lives and schools. Ahmed's goal is to leave the Gaza Strip to save his family's lives." (see my original post here)

here is the screenshot of nabulsi's initial verification that shows that his old account was terminated (linked above):

i am so sorry you and your family lost your old account 😞. hopefully this post will gain more attention so that others may find you again as well. may you all stay safe- i am sending all the love from my home to yours 🖤

to my moots/lovely lurkers: please share this post as well as ahmed's (click here to share). for anyone able to contribute financially, please consider donating to their gfm. so far, they have €22,499 raised of €35,000 goal

(tagging for more reach: @appsa, @thecomiclesbian. @papermillll)

[rustedleopard]

"Why did Ceroba inject her child with an experimental serum despite Chujin's warnings? Is she a total idiot? That makes no sense, she's a bad parent! This is bad writing!!!"

SHE THOUGHT IT WAS SAFE!!! Chujin blamed the serum failing solely on the fact that the SOUL he used was "impure." Nothing about his technique or anything he did; to him the problem was that the SOUL was "impure." So when Kanako pointed out that Ceroba had improvised a method to extract impurities from the SOUL sample, then it made sense that, since the only issue with the serum was taken care of, it should've been safe to use. That was likely the only deviation that Ceroba did when crafting Chujin's serum, and she probably figured that she'd screwed up removing the impurities instead of questioning anything about her husband's serum; hence why she tries leading a "pure-hearted" Clover to the Royal Laboratory to try making the serum with Kanako all over again. Ceroba's admiration and inability to find fault with Chujin led to her injecting Kanako with the serum, not bad writing or whatever.

[tinyfantasminha]

Why is the muskrat trying to ban brazil?

short answer:

Brazilian Surpreme Court: Hey so your site/app has literally contents of csem, nazism, racism, transphobia, hate speech, gore and political misinformation which are all, you know, a violation against the law (as it should fucking be) and we can't allow that

Musk: CENSORSHIP 😭😭😭this TYRANT wants to censor fREE SPEECH IN MY FASCIST-FRIENDLY SITE/APP❗❗❗😭😭😭😭😭LITERALLY A DICTATORSHIP!!1 FUCKYOU

Because of this Musk has been beefing and making AI memes about the brazilian supreme court minister and in a tantrum fit he closed off ALL operating twitter offices in brazil, so now the site/app is quite literally abandoned in the country. There's no moderation team. There's no one to regulate or control or receive any reports of criminal activity. There is no legal representative to answer to all of that. Musk outright REFUSED to appoint a legal rep in the country bc he's acting like a spoiled child. Since a legal rep is a requirement for any platform to work and do business, it has to be shut down

[sforzesco]

miscellaneous roman nonsense lmao I very briefly thought about un curling octavian's hair, but cleopatra 1963's influence remains as strong as ever

[anghraine]

I was talking to my students and then some family members about how the death of Elizabeth I and succession of James was necessarily an occasion of upheaval, even when it wasn't necessarily violent or flirting with treason or whatever. For one, the death of a monarch that will lead to a new dynasty (even a related one!) is not quite the same as a familiar figure inheriting the country's rule from their parent or grandparent. It's usually a bigger change, with dynamics of loyalties and affiliations shifting around—that's part of the reason Elizabeth delayed acknowledging James as her heir.

Typically, you'd see courtiers etc deserting a dying monarch in order to signal their loyalty to the new monarch, even if the old one wasn't actually dead yet. Elizabeth's reluctance to share royal power was fundamental to her reign and her public image, so it's not at all surprising that she would be loath to encourage that kind of desertion in any particular direction.

Of course, another thing that complicates the Elizabeth -> James succession is that she had reigned for a long time (44 years iirc). By the time she was dying, a good number of English people had few personal memories of life under any other monarch, and those who did would remember the abrupt and unstable reigns of her predecessors, Edward and Mary. So James's accession came with uncertainty about what exactly it would entail, and a lot of late Elizabethan/early Jacobean drama in English is very concerned with questions of what obligations the governed owe to their monarchs (obedience? loyalty? are those always the same thing?), but also what obligations monarchs themselves have to their people.

This seemed especially pertinent to Lear, in which multiple characters defy capricious orders from a monarch or other authority out of loyalty: Kent challenges Lear and is banished, so skulks around in disguise to continue serving him, Edgar also skulks around in disguise after Gloucester renounces him and ends up offering what comfort he can to his father, and Cordelia returns to Britain with the French army in her ultimately futile attempt to help Lear. Meanwhile, Lear loses everything, is driven to take shelter in a peasant hovel, and starts to contemplate how his own failures as a king resulted in, well, peasant hovels.

Anyway, now I'm thinking about what a wild figure Elros must have been as, specifically, a monarch to the Númenóreans. He lived for five hundred years. Even his own children (also half-Elves! sort of!) and other descendants who benefited from his lifespan didn't live as long, and most Númenóreans during his earlier reign wouldn't have come near to it. Undoubtedly there were Elves who had known Elros in the First Age who were baffled at him choosing mortality and DEATH, and meanwhile on Númenor, there are all these people living out their extended lifespans under the reign of a half-Elf king who was ruling their people at their birth and would still be ruling after they died of old age. We know Elros retained his half-Elvish characteristics as well, so they've got this visibly Elvish, barely-aging, eternal king who looks like Lúthien as part of the fabric of life for centuries.

Yes, he's literally the first king—but for a lot of earlier Númenóreans, he's also the only king they will ever know. It takes him an incredibly long time to weary of the world as other mortals do. By the time Elros finally gets weary of Arda, and willingly lays down his life and passes to the unknown fate of mortals, Tar-Amandil is stepping into some very big shoes.