#chillen and killing

[kharmii]

Probably the most unpopular opinion on the internet but I don’t like seeing all these posts glorifying autism or mental illnesses or see them as some sort of aesthetic or use every possible way to make sure you know they have autism or a mental illness.

As someone who’s been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and has been on meds for decades I kinda feel insulted by the way these conditions have become a quirky personality trait and an aesthetic to people as well as shoving it on all fictional characters.

I do like headcanon of characters having these conditions but it makes me uncomfortable to see characters getting stripped down to their conditions without anything else.

It is relieving to have characters go through similar things and have them react to them but it shouldn’t be the sole purpose to write them that way.

I also feel that no condition should be a free pass to be an asshole to the people around them. In the long run it does more harm than good and it doesn’t make "healthy" people more sympathetic towards their conditions.

My condition is not your aesthetic!

(Youre good for real but I have seen so many people in the submas fandom act like this and that autism is a quirky personality trait and reduce the twins to this it’s just tiring…)

This is all true. When you turn something undesirable into an aesthetic, then it has the disastrous effect of becoming a social contagion that will actually kill people fr. It's not fun to be autistic and/or mentally ill, and I'm sure most people with various neurodivergent dysfunctions would choose not to suffer from them if they could.

I wouldn't glorify suicide. I wouldn't glorify recreational drug use out of fear someone would join the tens of thousands of fentanyl overdoses every year in this country. On that same vein, I certainly don't want to see my favorite male characters with scars on their chests from getting their tits cut off. That results in death by suicide for almost half the people who go through with it. (LOL, complain moar about my 'codependent twincest kink' hurting the chillens when everybody and their grandmother glorifies something that causes the sterilization and mutilation of children).

A mutual over on Live Journal calls trendy autism 'fauxtism' and accuses those people of cosplaying autistic people as an excuse to act uncouth or feel marginalized. The worst thing they did was make an autistic spectrum (similar idea to a gender spectrum) because then people with mental illness comorbidities could jump under the umbrella of being autistic (or trans) because it's trendy.

Are you socially awkward? Maybe it's autism. Overly shy? Autism. The mutual had a falling out with a friend she called 'space case' who worked for NASA but had an 'autistic' daughter who suffered brain damage at one year of age after sucking down a bottle of medication carelessly left out. This mentally retarded daughter would smear shit on the walls and swing from ceiling fans, all while the mother claimed she was 'being creative' or some shite. It's proof you can be a genius working for NASA and also be the dumbest mofo on the planet.

Anyway, I personally have autistic symptoms, but my version of the 'tism comes from profound long-term abuse, -both from my family and from bullying from peers- going way back. I'm like irl Shoto Todoroki. Just look at this guy. You can tell he got the shit beat out him since he was little:

I can't count how many times I've said to myself, "If I smile then...they'll die?!" for laughs. Guy With Canon Abusive Family doesn't bother masking because he carefully guards his emotions. He comes across overly serious and deadpan, and some people might think he has no sense of humor because of it. Being a 15-year-old, Shoto is savvy enough to know he should be pissed at his abusers, but he isn't emotionally sophisticated enough to shake the deep insecurity that he might do or say something completely innocuous and still manage to make a mess of things or offend somebody.

Side note: That character is especially interesting because he was a product of selective breeding for a specific purpose. I imagine him being toddler aged pushing around a firetruck saying "I don't want to be the #1 hero when I grow up! I want to be a firefighter! Why can't I choose what I want to do!" No free will for him though. He has to hold up to the most impossible standard of perfection imaginable. What will the future hold for him? Will "too hot to handle; too cold to hold" become the #1 someday?

Having that personality type at my age, and I'm just recently realizing that, hey, maybe it's not always me. Maybe it's you people sometimes. If the guy stalking me has to repeat a joke several times so I 'get it' while I give him a thousand-yard stare, maybe it's less that I'm a retard and more that he's an unfunny goober giving me unwanted attention. If the middle aged incel weirdo with no wife and kids tells the same stupid 10-year-old joke again, maybe he shouldn't give me that knowing look when I flatly change the subject. Maybe I'm no fun, but he's an empty loser who has done absolutely nothing with his life, and therefore has nothing meaningful to talk about.

If I bring any of that up, I'm being MEEEEAAAAANNNNN....even if I had to take so much bs to get to that point. I'm the type of person who will take and take and take and take andtakeandtakeandtake before I finally snap. It's so typical of an abuser to have that sense of entitlement where they think you owe them something. -Like they feel they have the inherent right to be treated kindly and with dignity, but they won't reciprocate. Oh no....you are supposed to be a perfect slave who exists to please them and boost their egos.

Enough about me and my dysfunction. Sorry. This anon wanted to talk about Submas I think.....

Okay, so some people have the insulting head canon that Emmet is an asshole and therefore is 'more autistic' than Ingo. Does it have to be autism? Maybe it's more to do with how they represent 'truth and ideals'. Emmet (white dragon) is Truth, and that's why in the original game, he taunts the player when they lose against him. Ingo, (black dragon) is Ideals, and he still congratulates the player for a fun battle, even if they lose.

That's great. Let the truth guy be an asshole because the truth doesn't concern itself with being kind or worrying about a person's feelings. It is what it is. It can be both kind or harsh depending on the situation. Ideals, otoh, is polite and kind because it is always striving for the best. Nobody ever thinks....my ideal world has everything on fire and a lot of dead people in it. If truth and ideals don't work in harmony, however, that's what you end up with.

The head-in-the-clouds ideals guy might be considerate and kind all while walking you over the side of a cliff. The truth guy might say....heyy fuckknuckle! Don't walk over that cliff or else you will die! Okay, so maybe his delivery needs some work. Maybe he's being an asshole about it, but at least you don't end up dead from falling off a cliff. That makes the truth guy kinder in the long run (insert trans analogy in here, LOL!).

[guzmawife]

🍓: he had no job when i met him but now he works at a high school as an errand boy / security (his children attend said school). hes the guy they call in when a real teacher needs to use the bathroom so he can watch the class. or to retrieve some papers from the printer. go get me that thing boy.

🍒: probably just chilling at home with snacks and movies and fast food. or chillen at the beach. 🏝️

🍎: tapu cocoa.. we all know dis.. hot sweet drinks…

🍉: hes not religious other than believing that a higher power exists. hi arceus..

🍑: totally more comfortable giving gifts. hes used to taking care of others so it’s pretty natural for him to be giving. he has no issue receiving but its not rlly a priority since he didnt come from much so hes used to not rlly asking for much.

🍊: i make him peel it. he knows my paws and claws have to stay clean… he’s comfortable with getting dirty and i am not!

🥭: no i domt think so. his dad was a prick and said shit like. Youre not a woman so you dont need those. fuckkkk that guy.

🍍: probably him being mentally manipulated and abused! 😿 killing all the people that taught him he wasn’t anything and made him feel like he had to act out in order to prove himself to others. hhhggffg. he deserves to be loved.

🍌: he likes to be in the dark. das it. no specific reason why.

🍋: he would probably change his hothead nature bc he doesn’t like how quickly he gets upset and makes bad decisions. and his hairline.

🍋‍🟩: he tells people if you squish bugs more will keep showing up. as a joke. heehe. sorry im gonna squish them still im a pussy.. thats probably why they keep showing up though. i have an actual curse. maybe he’s right man…

🍈: he thinks fate is bogus and if you want something to happen you have to make it happen.

🍏: hes bisexual and questioning demisexuality, he learned of his bisexuality through being in denial of liking the same sex and being like. This is ruining my tough guy personality. This can’t be. but then it kept happening and he was like man fuck this whatever. what the hell sure. he became normal. he’s still figuring out the demisexuality, to put it simply he just doesnt want to engage in sexual acts with anyone unless he has a genuine connection to them. it also just feels better for him. sorry for airing out your business Anywayyyyyy. Anyway.

🍐: he’s a nail biter its kinda gross sorry man. his nails are short always so i make him do short nail tasks since my nails are usually pretty long. i think he bounces his legs sometimes too. he knows i hate that shit thou so he tries not to. usually i just leave so he can shake all he wants. then hes like what wait no….

🥝: he would totally let me do his makeup. we’re both pretty lazy when it comes to makeup so we don’t so anything complex. i just do mascara and corner highlights and SOMETIMES lipstick and that’s it. #autistic i cant stand having too much shit ok my face. this isn’t even about me brah. he does simple makeup too since he’s just not super experienced. he just tries things sometimes but he’s not a professional. he just wants to look cool.

🫒: he’s a big hugger he squeezes too tight but it feels good though…. (´ ω `♡) he likes to be hugged too! yey!

🫐: definitely more of an artist he actually keeps a sketchbook. right brained yeah.

🍇: if we never met i think he might still be getting himself into some trouble tbh. he’s pretty stubborn.

🥥: he draws he plays games. he works out. he cooks. i think he would want to get into gardening but his location doesn’t allow for it since it’s always fucking raining.

🍅: i think he would get me testosterone or something that i can’t possibly get safely right now. or like. my own living space. or some rare pokemon card / plush that costs more than an organ online. sigh. or probably 1 billion dollars. muhehw.

🌶️: he drinks ginger ale. ginger ale the ultra cure.

🫚: hes not picky. he cant eat beans bc hes allergic to them. but i dont think hes picky since he has to make sure his kids eat first. so he eats whatevers left from them. leftover amalgamation.

🥕: he didnt like them but he ate them anyway bc his parents were mean :(

🧅: he cries when hes angry like super fuming. and when hes thinking about his past. hes just mad at himself for what happened and how he handled things. Basically. getting manipulated and taken advantage of makes him upset and he cries. he doesnt cry at movies unless he relates to them.

🌽: does bugs counts as animal. He likes dogs. and isopods. and other sea creatures.

🥦: pet peeves are getting called ‘boy’ or ‘kid’. i used to call him boy all the time just by habit and he would Not like that. “I’m not a boy. I’m a man. stop callin me dat…” okaaayyy whatevar. he doesnt have an issue with me calling him dude tho. despite being his lover. which is a little funny. um what else. people not knocking before entering. leaving empty cartons and stuff in the fridge or cabinet. ppl telling him he looks tired. or people calling him old. not that he has an issue with old people (😽) but its like. How did you even reach that conclusion.

🥒: hes afraid of ultra beasts a little.. specifically uh whats its name. nihilego. that bird that i hate. middle finger emoji. hes like. a little more hesitant with UBs than regular mons. he’s also got a fear of getting lost.

🥬: beige flags auumm i hate his ugly fucking sunglasses. and when he says. ya boy (pinches the space between my brows). peeing with the door open. he does that thing where u can feel him looking at you waiting to turn around during the movie so he can kiss you. theres probably more. im very good at complaining.

🫛: he loves to think of new pet names for me to see how i will react. he’d be like. “goodnight honeypie” and id be like “oh…. yeah… 😽” he also likes them too but most of the time i just call him musham or guzma bc i like saying his name. then he’s like. Why dont you call me anything else…. (sad puppy eyes). he likes when i call him mumu or honey. i calll him princess sometimes but its rare. princess is like his top pet name for me. meeooww. sometimes i call him Boss. thats For when. Im teasing Him. That one Makes his Ears turn Red. For special Occasions. meow.

🫑: he’s had a number of near death experiences so he’s pretty afraid of death. he has no lofty life goals. he just wants his family safe. wants to travel too and have good genuine relationships.

🥑: not super niche but cosmetics and nail art. he also likes cooking and insects and drawing. just things he grew to like from being around his family. or trying to distract himself from his own issues.

🍠: he likes to go to the beach and sit listening to the waves (same). he also likes to paint his or others nails when he’s bored. “gimme yer hands i wanna try sumn”. yknow.

🍆: favorite scent is meeeeeee… i kid i kid. probably like. Ugh. baked goods. Sugar smell. Rain smell 👎🏾 i hate rain smell but he likes it. i don’t think he has any specific least favorite smells other than the usual like peepee and caca yknow.

🧄: allergic to beans

🥔: he makes japanese curry a lot. easy to make in large portions for his 75million children. i like rice so he usually makes rice dishes for me. i don’t cook very often but when i do its cultural foods since he doesn’t know those recipes. he likes those. yom. he wants to learn baking but just hasn’t had the chance or motivation.

🍄‍🟫: i think he would wanna be a mewtwo or something. super strong and cool nonchalant. if we’re talking irl mytho creatures, cerberus. that guy cool as shit. #swagger.

this took me three whole days to answer. enjoyable experience rlly made me think. sorry for any typos i used swipe typing for parts of this 😿.

@sylvie-wants-your-dogs hi : )

the ULTIMATE f/o infodumping ask game!

(this is gonna be a long one...)

🍓 - disregarding the career your f/o currently has, what other career would they consider going into, if given the chance?

🍒 - if your f/o and you spend a day doing anything, anything at all, what would they do and why?

🍎 - what's your f/o's favorite drink? any drink, alcoholic or non alcoholic!

🍉 - is your f/o religious? what's their opinion on religion or spirituality?

🍑 - is your f/o more comfortable giving or receiving gifts? why? do they have any preferences on gifts they like receiving?

🍊 - if you asked your f/o to peel an orange for you, what would they do?

🥭 - did your f/o have stuffed animals growing up? do they still have stuffed animals? do they have a favorite?

🍍 - if you could change any one thing about your f/os backstory/character, what would you change? why?

🍌 - does your f/o have a vendetta against The Big Light™? what kind of lighting do they prefer?

🍋 - if your f/o could change one thing about themselves, what would they change and why?

🍋‍🟩 - is your f/o superstitious? is there any habits they follow or quirks they have to follow said superstitions? like not opening umbrellas indoors to avoid back luck?

🍈 - does your f/o believe in fate? do they thing everything is preplanned out by the universe or a higher power, or do they think that the idea of fate is bogus? why?

🍏 - if you have any queer headcanons for your f/o, how did they realize they were queer?

🍐 - does your f/o have any nervous ticks or idle quirks they do? like mindlessly tapping on a desk or fiddling with their hair when they're stressed?

🥝 - would your f/o ever let you do their make-up? what does their make-up process look like? is it simple? complex?

🫒 - what kind of hugger is your f/o? do they give good hugs? do they like hugs? do they like receiving hugs?

🫐 - is your f/o more of a writer or an artist? would you say your f/o is more left or right brained?

🍇 - if you and your f/o never met, what do you think your f/o would be doing right now?

🥥 - what hobbies does your f/o have? is there any hobby they would like to get into that they haven't tried out yet? what is it?

🍅 - if your f/o could buy you any gift in the world, whether it exists or not, what would they buy you? or, if they could make you something, what would it be?

🌶️ - does your f/o have any remedies they follow when they get sick? like taking a shot of whiskey to get rid of a fever?

🫚 - is your f/o a picky eater? is there any foods they will not under any circumstances, gun to their head, eat?

🥕 - when your f/o was little, did they dislike vegetables? do they still dislike them?

🧅 - what makes your f/o cry? do they get emotional at sad movies or books? do they only get emotional under very rare circumstances?

🌽 - does your f/o have a favorite animal? what is it? are they scared of any animals?

🥦 - does your f/o have any pet peeves? things that just really really get on their nerves? what are they and why?

🥒 - what's your f/o afraid of? do they have any phobias? anything minor they're scared of?

🥬 - what are some beige flags your f/o has? so, not bad, but not nessecarily good either. just. "oh. you do This."

🫛 - how does your f/o feel about pet names or nicknames? do they like them? hate them? what are their favorites and least favorites to be called and to use?

🫑 - how does your f/o feel about death? are they afraid of it? is there anything specific they'd like to do before they die?

🥑 - is there any niche topics your f/o is interested in? what are they and why do they like them?

🍠 - what are a few of your f/os favorite pastimes or things that they do when they're bored?

🍆 - does your f/o have a favorite scent? why is it their favorite? do they have a least favorite scent?

🧄 - does your f/o have any allergies? food or otherwise?

🥔 - does your f/o have any food dishes they make often? is there any foods you make for your f/o that they enjoy?

🍄‍🟫 - if your f/o could be any mythological species, what would they be? if your f/o is already a mythological species, would they ever want to be human?

I recommend practicing reblog karma ! people love infodumping about their f/os :) I also recommend sending more than one emoji at a time,,, there are Many here...!!!

[lyrics365]

Jij kan chillen met mij

[Verse 1] (Ey) Ey, girl, ik ben in de mood Oh dames, ik heb me crew Bad b****** ja ik ken een few Schrijf dingen [?] Kill, sick, so sick, hatsjoe Kan niet snitchen, nee dat is taboe Vuur stroom ik ben pikachu Ben fine, n*gga look at you Jij weet, ik ben down en dat weet je Ik weet, je bent down en dat weet je Soms doe ik als een clown en dat weet je Kom ik daar ben ik klaar en dat…

[babymorte]

Haha well what else is there to do at night other than game and scroll on here?🤷‍♂️🥲 and i have noticed a few of your posts about bo6 tbh, I haven't played it much yet myself, I don't even think I've prestieged yet tbh🤷‍♂️😅 and yeah, sleep problems are always super fun🙃😂

That's actually a very good point to be fair, nobody can use anything against you if everybody already knows everything haha, that's shit that you can't just keep stuff to yourself and not have to worry about people using stuff against you though!

It's good to build up walls for your own protection so that you can't get hurt emotionally or in other ways, but building walls is no good if you don't build a door too, you've got to allow yourself to be open and let your walls down with those that you trust enough to share with, being stuck behind the walls you've built with no way out won't help things get better (I'm pretty baked, so I hope that makes sense🤷‍♂️😂).

Yeah im the exact same way tbh, plus I find a lot of people hard to talk to and make conversation with, but some people are just so much easier to talk to than others, like some people just dont put any effort into convos and it ends up boring and one sided, you know?😅 I hooe im not bothering you with the anons btw, I get that you most likely have a lot of them.

I can get that, it takes a lot for me to open up too, it does help though when you find people that you can open up to and trust.

That actually sounds pretty cool tbh! There's bags where I live too, but i only every see a couple at night flying around, I do love the bat cave in the zoo just outside of the town where I live though👀😅

Ah okay, thats fair enough, in that case I can understand why you dont really dm with people! I just thought I'd send an anon when you turned them on because you're one of my favourite blogs and i nkticed you in my notes just as much as im probably in yours, I don't expect us to dm, but i am always open to talking if you ever want to😊 also, you shouldn't have to put up with bullies and dickheads messaging you! Nobody should have to deal with that kinda thing!

-🦇

honestly as of quite recently not much 😅 whaaaaa?? that’s such a shame im having so much fun 🤩 it’s the first cod i actually got really into outside of zombies cuz im really not all that good at fps like i played through the first few halos for the first time before i started getting better at fps and if you’ve ever seen the memes of like a couple playing cod together where the guy is real good and the girl is just happy to be there running around like a lost puppy yea that was me the entire time like the entirety of halo i think 2 there’s like that mission you’re on a giant ferry and enemies are jumping on it i was doing zero of the work and just admiring the scenery 😂😂😂 i need to go back finish those honestly 🤔 but i ended up playing the bo6 beta and had a blast and ever since its literally been my life like i even started watching the cdl 🤩 BUT i went from getting maybe 10 kills a game and like 60 deaths to 40-60 kills and 10-20 deaths in a few months n im nearly max prestige 🥳 im actually gonna hit 10p my next game and im hoping to hit max by the weekend im actually really excited. I might even try ranked when they make it so you can turn crossplay off 😅 you should totally give it a go though 😌 especially zombies it’s so much fun i like just going into directed and getting to level 15 and just chillen, mindlessly murdering shit 😂 i really think you should give it another go~ oh absolutely it also probably doesn’t help that i have a tendency to blast music and hype myself up while i play games so my adrenaline just keeps me awake 😭

ah nah it’s cool ive just told people i thought i was friends with super personal stuff and they posted it online to bully me or just told mass amounts of people as like a ha-ha moment so like i guess it’s a defence mechanism but im so jaded i don’t give a shit who knows what about me anymore but i still am a very private person despite it all like i overshare sure but it’s always calculated like im not dumb you know 😅

yeaaa about that door 😂 im extremely selective with who i let in, who i let get close. it’s just literally every time i do im lied to manipulated used and played for a fool so im just about ready to weld that door shut and everyone can try and rapunzel their way into my little silo ive made for myself 😅 n you’re totally good im very well versed in stoner 🤣

no yea totally. i mean the people who reach out to me on here are always so chill and are super engaging but i think it’s cuz i only respond to asks that seem like they’re gonna be engaging if that makes sense? like im honoured when people hype me up but i dont know as someone who has a hard time upholding convos and not wanting to disappoint people i try to keep convos about things i know i can ramble on about if that makes sense 😅 that kinda makes me sound cunty though but that’s not my intent i just know how awful i am in 99% of my interactions so it’s better if i just keep to myself. i mean hell this last literal year nearly to the day was the most/longest i talked to a single person n legit couldn’t tell you the last time i was that happy cuz 100% once you find someone easy to talk to and you just click the convo just flows so easily 🤩 oh my gosh not a bother at all~! im enjoying the convo honestly 🤍 i hope im not annoying you with my rambling and long as fuck responses i just don’t know how to be concise 😂🙏🏻

yes!! that’s seriously so true~ unfortunately for me i have gullible tattooed on my forehead and i have a tendency to be manipulated into trusting people i shouldn’t 😅 but im also very quick to realise when im being manipulated because im real good at pattern recognition 😂. but i just have a general rule of dont trust anyone even if they seem trustworthy until they start SHOWING that they can be trustworthy you know? especially online like ive never told anyone anything in private i wouldnt post myself. i just always try and keep it 100 😅

wait you have bats too that’s so dope 🤩 im so jealous you have a bat cave too 😭 that has to be so cool to go and see 🤩 theres an amusement part that has a zoo like 2hrs from me and every halloween they let you in the zoo after dark when all the nocturnals are out and its so frickin cool i went as a kid and got to hold a bat and a tarantula (which is how i started to love both)

ah yes i mean i do have one or two people i dm but they also know how shit i am at replies and they’re special circumstances 😂 but hey im not totally opposed to dmming~ i just always forget to check them here since it’s permanently at 99 and the only notifications i have properly turned on my phone are for snapchat 😅 n that’s definitely true but im just a fuckhead magnet of all sorts n i try to stay away from them as much as humanly possible 😂

[beloskin]

The world is evil and uncomfortably warm bc i miss my bestie but he's chillen and I'm being a good fp by lettin him chill

I need to bite a chuck out of my wall and kill everyone with it I'm normal

[saschaederer]

* Stinking mouth taste

* “You’re pretty self-secure” (in ‘Taylor Swift’ voice, pertaining to me)

* Sausage smells (initial reference to me getting castrated, initial reference to Julian Sens having negotiated, delegated, commanded or perpetrating such)

* “Onani” (Japanese: ‘Masturbate’, in ‘Tomoko Kuriyama’ voice)

* “(Fett chillen) glans” (German: ‘(Fat chill) glans’, ‘fat chill land’ being a term I occasionally use to describe my state of being when I take a break)

* The back of my head feeling wet (pertaining to the music video of ‘Daniel Avery & Alessandro Cortini - Illusion of Time’)

* “Nofacegirl” (initial reference to the Reddit user u/nofacefreak_18)

* The threat published yesterday: “Stück for Stück” (German: ‘Piece by piece’, initial reference to my penis or a finger of mine getting cut off ‘for Putin’, partial reference to such happening at the behest of a Yakuza boss, partial reference to such happening at the behest of anyone else who might be represented by the painting ‘Franz von Stück – Lucifer’. Coded reference: ‘One by one’, initial reference to Japanese people who decide to dissent / act heroic, partial reference to anyone else who decides to do so)

* Comic-book-like mental image of Mike Tyson knocking out Jake Paul with an uppercut – mental image of Mike Tyson looking at me, like someone might do after a kill – Accusation ‘by him’ that he lost the fight because of me

* The ‘Focus’ Radio on Apple Music playing ‘Klein – Listen and See as They Take’ from the album ‘Lifetime’ and playing ‘Tom Day – Who we want to be’, followed up by another film type song afterwards – female vocalizations from above the ceiling – The pillow on which my head has rested, feeling as if it was pressed down (initial reference to Taylor Swift having been there invisibly but spared me for acting right, while another person (or the other way around, or other people entirely) had visited Mikhaila Peterson but harmed her for not doing so)

* Pus + bandage smells

* Sounds pertaining to ‘Klein – Listen and see as they take’ mixed under my breadth (initial reference to me getting castrated)

* Mental image of Josie Glabach naked, similar to the scene where Lucy was hit on her restraint helmet by a sniper rifle, in the first episode of the Anime (“(Eva) Elfie”) ‘Elfen Lied’ – vagina smell - ovulation smell – smegma + cheese smell

* My cheeks itching, me rubbing them and accidentally letting out a ‚Kiss‘ sound (initial reference to SRA (sodomy of wounds), initial reference to me)

* “Baka” (Japanese: ‘Idiot’, in ‘Tomoko Kuriyama’ voice, initially pertaining to me)

* Sour vagina smell (initial reference to Tomoko Kuriyama)

* Mental image of an amateur pornstar in a doggystyle position and her head not visibly in the frame, having her breast grabbed from behind (initial reference to Josie Glabach)

* “Scarlett (Peterson)”

* “Pretty” (pertaining to the Youtuber ‘Tokyo Foodie Sarah’)

* Mental image of Taylor Swift naked in a doggystyle position, masturbating – “He was good” (in ‘Taylor Swift’ voice, initial reference to her having had sexual intercourse with me while I was sleeping, has sexually assaulted me or I was forced to sexually assault her, with my memories having been erased afterwards) - Same image (POV) with her defecating, urinating or ejaculating on me

______________________________________________

 

REPORTS:

* Can’t see Mikhaila Peterson’s account on Instagram anymore since a week or so (if she hasn’t deleted it)

* About half of my socks appear to have been stolen (or otherwise disappeared), if I’m not mistaken

______________________________________________

 

PLEASE READ:

 

How I handle threats I receive (Last Update: 13. 11. 2024):

[alexilulu]

the garten of banban series is like genuinely fascinating to me in a way that most really low-polish horror isnt usually for me. like its just baffling. the decisions happening in the story that make it what it is, and just clinging to it wholeheartedly. mascot guys who killed you last game are just chillen now and they're nice and cool and normal people except they're made of play-doh and have european continental accents except for the one who's like, a fuckin european guy trying to do a central texas accent? They had to invent a new kind of evil fucked up guy to give them an actual villain b/c they kept making the guys just hang around after they're done murdering you

watching the most recent scorpy banban vod and man i've really gotta make something, it turns out they'll let literally anybody make a video game and it can be whatever you want

[x-heesy]

Bbbaby in my hood 🐈 🥹🥰🍭

Part1

#awwhardest #animalsarethebesthumans #animallovers #somethingtosmille #mybestfriendisananimal #thelittlethingsarethebigthings #cats #catsofinstagram #catstagram #katzenliebe #mietzekatze #catsagram #catscatscats #catsoftheworld #catsoftheday #catslover #catsgram #catsofinsta #catsoninstagram #catsfollowers #catslovers #catsofday #catsareawesome #catsdaily @frenchpsychiatrymuderedmycnut 🥹#catsloversworld #catsmeow #catscircus #cats_of_world #dailycats #beautifulcats #catsofworld #cats_of_day #catloversclub #catstagram #meow #lovecats #petlovers #adorablecats #catsareawesome #cats_of_instagram #cat_of_instagram #kittycatn

Soundtrack: Illioï by Zap Mama 🤍

[macbethheadband]

Im just working it all out in my head right. So for jimmy to think lalo is after him and then say ‘it was ignacio’ in brba means hes probably gonna be brought into the whole pinning the attack on lalo on nacho story by gus. So when hes saying ‘it was ignacio’ hes just continuing to tell gus’ story. But whats gonna be fun is finding out whether gus and mike will tell jimmy the truth about it or if mike is gonna have to lie about nacho to jimmy and get that regretful pop pop look on his face.

[originlist]

au where tm actually listens to pfalz’s huge brain and uses their summer salieri design and hes a rider out of spite. whats he riding? nothing, doesnt matter. riding the high of spite. and not being saddled with the avenger class oblivion correction so he might still have wildfire but at least he aint carrying like 209320954730 alternate timeline memories and does actually think he killed mozart rather than being generally upset. free salieri from avenger class 2k20, just here to vibe and kill a man

[logi1974]

Südafrika 2022/23 - Tag 17

Herrschaften und Oukies!

Auch heute Morgen klingelt wieder um 4 Uhr morgens für uns der Wecker bzw. (neumodisch) das Handy.

Wieder treffen wir uns mit Keith vorne am Gamedrive Wagen und wieder sind wir alleine mit ihm draußen. Die anderen Gäste bevorzugen, wie vermutet, den Nachmittag für die Pirschfahrt.

Sonnenaufgänge haben in Afrika einfach etwas magisches. Nirgends auf der Welt sind sie schöner. Jedenfalls bilden wir uns das ein...

Es ist schön, dem Sonnenaufgang zuzusehen und die ersten Zebras lassen sich blicken.

Dann kommt erst einmal eine ganze Weile nichts außer den üblichen Impalas und ein paar Kudus. Plötzlich kommt Bewegung in die Sache.

Über Funk wird eine Löwin vermeldet. Da mutiert Keith plötzlich zu Schumacher und in einem Affenzahn rasen wir durch den Busch. Zwischendurch kommt dann die Meldung, dass es ein ganzes Rudel an einem Riss sein soll. 

Es dauert auch gar nicht so lange, dann können wir schon einige Gamedrivewagen an einer Stelle versammelt sehen. 

Dort liegen zwei junge Männchen und 5 bis 6 Weibchen.

Der Kill ist natürlich schon vertilgt, die Löwen liegen mit dicken Bäuchen unter den Büschen. 

Das Interessanteste überhaupt sind zwei Schakale, die die Reste vertilgen und dabei ganz nervös sind.

Es benötigt eine ganze Weile bis man heraus findet, um welches Tier es sich bei dem Opfer handelt. 

Erst wird auf ein Warzenschwein getippt. Aber so ein ganzes Rudel davon satt kriegen? Das erscheint uns doch unwahrscheinlich.

Dann erspäht jemand aus einem der anderen Fahrzeuge mit dem Fernglas die Hörner eines Wasserbocks. Aha, das ist doch viel wahrscheinlicher.

So kann es weitergehen. Aber so geht es leider nicht weiter. Ziemlich lange fahren wir nur und können keine nennenswerten Begegnungen verzeichnen - es ist eben kein Zoo. 

So wird es dann mal Zeit für einen “Bushcoffee” mit den obligatorischen Rusks - diesen steinharten Mürbeteigkeksen. 

Keith hat zum Glück immer die Buttermilk Rusk im Gepäck - das sind sowieso die leckersten.

Diese Rusk halten ewig und gehören seit den Zeiten der alten Voortrekker in jeden Reiseproviant. Ein traditionelles Trockengebäck, welches in den Tee oder Kaffee getunkt wird. Zur Not kann man sich damit auch verteidigen oder auch ein Haus bauen.

Hoffnungsvoll machen wir uns auf den Weg, finden aber sonst keine interessanten Sichtungen weiter. Macht ja nix, dann muss halt die Vogelwelt herhalten.

Selbst die Geier sind heute langweilig.

Als wir zurück zur Lodge kommen, steht da der Wagen der Anit-Poaching-Einheit. Wir haben aber nix verbrochen!

Nach dem Gamedrive genießen wir wieder hungrig unser Frühstück. Die anderen Gäste treffen dazu ebenfalls ein und fragen natürlich nach unseren Sichtungen.

Danach wollen wir einfach am Pool chillen und lesen. 

Wir überspielen die Bilder und sortieren gleich aus, was kompletter Schrott ist. Micha hat einen interessanten Dokumentarfilm von dem Innenleben seiner Kameratasche gedreht, weil er aus irgend einem blöden Zufall die Videokamera angeschaltet ließ.

Wir genießen die Annehmlichkeiten der Unterkunft und haben dafür gar nicht so viel Zeit, wie wir gerne hätten.

Auch heute Abend gibt es ein köstliches Dinner und wieder nette Unterhaltungen, dieses Mal mit der Köchin. Sie weiß nicht, dass man Straußeneier auch essen kann und lässt sich von mir erklären, wie man Rührei davon macht. Wir sind immer überrascht, wie wenig die Locals über ihr Land und die Tiere wissen.

Später werden wir wieder zu unserem Chalet eskortiert und lassen auf der Terrasse noch die Geräusche auf uns wirken.

Da wir morgen früh wieder zur Pirschfahrt starten, geht es ruckzuck in die Heia.

Lekker Slaap!

Angie, Micha und der Hasenbär

[x-heesy]

@frenchpsychiatrymuderedmycnut

[erensnubs]

Hi babe, I'm finally doing your little event it's fucking cool You know who I am so I don't gotta tell you much😎

Anyways I'd like to go to King Midas Castle if you will madam😉 let's go with the Ballroom because I'm extra and love cliches vehicle 5 seems pretty snazzy so let's go with that then. gonna go with food 8😳

About me??? Well most of my interests are the same as my 5 year old brothers sooo (sharks, dinosaurs, dressing up for fun) I'm really just all over the place one minute and then I'm just chillen the next so that's a thing. I like making people laugh and I've grown to realize I'm kind of a touchy person. I like people who make me laugh and laugh with me, people who share the same values and just nice people overall, but I can't stand people who just roll over and take it when I'm teasing them. It ruins the flow and I hate it, anyways that's about it really see ya😌

thank you my seggsy moot for joining

𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝑪𝒉𝒐𝒔𝒆 𝑽𝒆𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒍𝒆 𝑭𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒊𝒔 𝑭𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔

𝑰 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑻𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒐 𝑺𝒂𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒊

Your carriage hits a bump in the road and you are suddenly thrown next to your closest friend, notorious douchebag of a nobleman Tendo Satori.

"Woah there man, I know you're obsessed with me but that doesn't mean you need to jump all over me," he says jokingly.

You attempt to slide of Tendo's lap but he quickly stops you, his arm sliding over your torso and pulling you a little too close.

You slap his arm, quite harshly, "Bruh what the hell are you doing? Let me sit down before another bump passes?"

Tendo rolls his eyes, no intention of letting you go.

"As soon as we step out of this carriage, I can and I will push you so you'll fall face flat if you don't let me go now," you sneer at him.

Tendo does nothing, whistling absentmindedly and toying with the various medals on his military suit.

You struggle a bit, pushing out and wriggling from his grasp until-

Thump.....

THUMP THUMP THUMP

"OH MY GODDESS!" You scream.

Tendo holds on to you tighter and pathetically whimpers, "Didn't think that the pot holes on the road would be that bad..."

He lets you go and you quickly slide of his lap and onto the cushioned seat next to him.

You slowly turn to him in anger, "You're telling me... You've been on this road before?! You know how much I hate, HATE potholes! Or anything that could damage this carriage-"

Tendo throws his hands up, "I know, trust me! All I hear is 'these vehicles are my babies, and my father would kill me if they were damaged blah blah blah bullshit'"

Tendo copies your mannerisms in a way you would deem, disrespectful but you find yourself to be tolerable tonight.

You slump down and put your head in your hands, "Why did you even pick this route to go to?"

Tendo shrugs, twirling around the tassels on his cuff with his fingers, "It's faster to get to the ball this way. Thought a shortcut would prove useful for us."

He throws you a wonky smile and you hate to admit that it made your heart do a flip. If you were anyone else you would smile back, and possibly laugh because you know it was a joke. But you're not just anybody. You've known this notorious jokester almost your whole life, and are practically immune to all his antics.

Still doesn't help that you're half in love with him though. Seems as if the antics made their way through the crevices and cracks you built around your self proclaimed "guarded" heart.

But not all hope is lost, instead of laughing and smiling at Tendo's sweet pathetic comfort, you gag and groan.

"You know how much I hate balls. Especially this one. I actually have to be present, have to be alert and act like nobility. And now you're telling me we're going to get there faster?"

You pout your lips and slump against the seat, furlined coat crinkled under the motion.

Tendo sighs in mock forlorn, his long fingers still twiddling with the tassels of his clothing, "I know you hate balls, but after it's over you're going to thank me. If we get there the fast route, we also get back home the fast route."

He stops his twiddling and point his fingers to you, "You'll be able to escape the party and we can get back home safely."

Your eyes drift over to the window and glance at the forest leaves, turning from green to gold. Anyone in the Five Kingdoms knows that when the forest turns from green to gold, it isn't fall. It means you're in the lush, green land of King Midas, where his castle is made of the finest jewels and gold and wherever the sun shone, everything looked as if it were crafted from gold.

Your fingers mindlessly tap the window, and watch the golden hues sway before your eyes.

"We're almost here," you say, your voice barely above a whisper.

You don't know why your voice came out like that, or why your mouth chose to utter the words but it felt like a reverence. A calm before the storm.

Though your back was facing Tendo, the man still looked at you in question. He was expecting a retort, not this calm [Name] he knew all his life. His face tilted, bright red eyes shaded by the shadow of your figure. How he wished to reach out and touch you, but it felt like you drew a veil between the two of you and out of respect for your boundaries, Tendo decided to hold himself back.

The weight of the carriage got lighter, wheels travelling on what you assumed was the gold tiled pathways and bridges that travel up to the castle.

The blurs of gold slow down and your eyes are now trained on the golden fountain, outside your window.

You have arrived at the palace.

The footguard opens up your door and you step out rather slowly, as if your feet were hanging with dread.

You turn around the carriage and see Tendo hop out all smiling and gleaming, toes jumping on the ground.

Red eyes trained and hyper on the big golden stair case that you have to venture, before the already dreaded ball. Tendo's eyes danced from the stairs, to you, back to the stairs again.

Seeing the reluctance in your body language, Tendo settles down and brings his hand out toward you. He gives you a wink, a tilt of his head and that signature smirk that has all of court in a chokehold.

You roll your eyes but allow yourself a little smile and place your hand in his. Tendo leans down, lips puckered to kiss your hand but you immediately shakes his head.

He shrugs his head, and you wish your small rejection could have done more than just that.

"You ready for this to party?"

You roll your shoulders back and straighten out your posture.

"Ready as I'll ever be."

You're currently in the ballroom of the golden castle, back leaned against a pillar and a drink in one hand. You've already entertained nobility and royalty alike since you came and you feel like you deserve a little rest.

You let your glass meet your lips, and watch Tendo from behind the rim.

Tendo is animatedly teasing other statesmen, mainly Lord Semi Eita, Lord Shirabu Kenjirou and Duke Ushijima Wakatoshi. The former give Tendo annoyed looks and the latter, indifferent looks, devoid of interest or concern.

Tendo's bright red hair flops around and you could see the sweat laced within the strands and you stifle a laugh. Was he moving around so much that he was sweating?

You watch Tendo as he wraps his arms around Lord Semi and Lord Shirabu and the two look like they want to die. Tendo starts to pull them out of the pillars and near the orchestra. Tendo waves his hand and gestures something to the musicians and suddenly the room is filled with violins playing a lively jig. Tendo grabs both of the lords hands and leads them around in a circle.

Soon more lords and nobles clap and join in, sucked into this vortex of dance and happiness. You watched from the sidelines as royalty left their posts near the pillars and led their lovers and friends to the middle of the room. Tendo leads this seemingly mad dance and some part of you is worried that you lost him in the crowd, but you see that vibrant red hair, dampened by sweat and possibly drinks and crimson eyes staring back at you.

You breathe out a sense of relief, you don't know what for but you do, and give a wave of acknowledgement back.

Tendo slows down his dancing and mouths out the words, "Come join me in here!"

You shake your head and mouth back, "It's okay."

He pouts for a little but then immediately bounces back into the crowd, like he never left.

How does this man have boundless energy? You wonder half the time if you're in love with the man or just admire his bravado?

You back up a little to stray away from the ever growing tornado of this crowd, but your eyes catch onto Tendo again.

His eyes were closed but you could tell he was in the moment, lips lifted up to a smile, wrinkles around the corner of his eyes. His hair that was too long for a nobleman gathered in soft clumps around the base of his neck and curls were dampened on his forehead. So lost in the music, the moment, arms outstretched and wide.

No, you were for sure in love with this man.

A thought settled into you though, something that you always tried to ignore, but arose in times like these. When you were alone, with no nobility to bore you with talk of affairs and no Tendo with his sarcastic remarks to pull you out of it. It usually went along the lines of If Tendo found out I loved him, how would he react? Would he hate me? Ignore me? What if it ruined our lifelong friendship?

Do I even deserve him?

That last thought rings true to your mind, more than it needs to be. Tendo, confident, charming, boisterous. One with the people, friendly. You, distant, unapproachable, reserved. Always from the outside looking in.

The sudden clapping and cheers from people broke you from your thoughts. The dancers dispersed and found their way back to their little groups after Tendo's impromptu dance session was over. You see him saunter over to you, chest heaving and mouth open.

"Close your mouth, you look like a dog with that tongue hanging out," you say with a punch to his arm.

Again, Tendo shrugs it off and adjusts his attire.

He layers his medals properly on his chest, "Why are you so worried anyway? Nobody is going to notice."

Suddenly a harsh silence fell over the room. You look around and your eyes catch on the someone who made the room silent.

You speak through your teeth, "Because the King just walked in."

Tendo looks up from his meddling, "Oh shit." He quickly pushes his hair back, attempting to use the sweat to achieve a "slick-backed look."

The King descends down from the winding staircase, long golden hued robes touched with rubies and diamonds drag ever so slowly, that you have to stifle your yawn.

It's only when you see the figure behind him, that you start paying attention.

Tendo looks at your, now, sour face, "Hm you have a distaste for the King's right hand man. He looks just like your type."

No dumbass, my type is you, you mutter internally. Not that stupid, haughty peacock of a man.

You counter back, "You think I would stoop so low for him? I might be stupid but I have standards, Tendo."

Tendo's voice comes out in a low whisper, "Sounds to me like you know him."

You reply with a mysterious tone, "Maybe I do."

The two men finally arrive at the elevated area of the ball and every person's head in the room is lowered in bows and curtsies.

The king outstretches his right hand and speaks in that annoyingly "kingly" voice.

"Welcome to our annual ball of the Celebration of the Five Kingdoms!" The king starts out and the attendees erupt into applause.

You clap your hands lightly and lean over to Tendo, eyes still trained forward to his majesty, "That could have been much better worded couldn't it?"

Tendo sighs, "Yes but that's what it is officially called. Can't change it."

"Well I guess you're going to have to marry the one of the King's children and convince them to change the name of this celebration," you suggest as the King starts talking.

"Your vision isn't wide as mine, [Name], I could seduce the King and change the name like that," Tendo says with a smile.

"-The Celebration of the Five Kingdoms is one of our most important events. We celebrate and commemorate how our forefathers of these kingdoms were able to come together and build up what are great nations are today!"

Again, the attendants applause, some raise their glasses in approval and take a drink.

Tendo leans over and drinks a bit from your glass.

"Remind me how you know him again?"

You try to act dumb, "Who?"

Tendo's lower lip juts out with a pout, "You know who I'm talking about. Him. The right hand man of the King. He looks about our age yeah?"

You nod and spoke in a more hushed tone, "Do you remember that one ball about a year or two ago,when we just graduated from the academy?"

Tendo nods, "How could I forget? We felt like we were on top of the world."

Tendo gives you a small smile, and maybe its the alcohol or the sudden low lighting in the room but you sink into yourself and allow yourself to indulge in his company with your guard down, just this once.

"Yeah, well do you remember me crying?" You say, smiling at the bittersweet memory.

"Well yes... that's what led us to destroy the fountain in one of the gardens..." Tendo says sheepishly.

You take a long swig of your drink now, "Well that was because my date to that dance, was late and refused to dance with me the whole time. Left early as well."

You stop your talking and point to the right hand man, "My date was that man. God, he promised he'd be there. Promised me lots of things but none of them were fulfilled."

You sigh, "Of course I was upset but now I just get annoyed looking back on it because I did spent a while, moping around because some dude didn't give me the time of day to pay attention to me."

You face Tendo and are met with a face you've never seen before, his face is one of revelation, but you don't pay it mind. He was probably surprised at the story you were telling.

"That's why I always got jealous when you and all our other friends talked about our graduation dance," you confess, walls already building back up again.

You turn and face the King again, but you feel Tendo's gaze linger on you for more than necessary. It was true, you were jealous. You regret crying over that piece of shit, and complaining to your parents about it. You regret comparing your experience with Tendo's. That graduation dance was supposed to be the time of your lives, before all of you had to be thrust into the reality of becoming adults and for you and Tendo? Before you had to be noblemen and represent your family and their status.

You didn't like how you were already introduced to reality, when it was a time for dreamers. This was probably why, despite your best efforts, you clung onto Tendo. He was a joy in your life, someone you've grown to love and you were going to hold onto him, your piece of sunshine, for as long as possible.

"-This is why we have noblemen and royalty from all over the nations to celebrate! Now we will have our first dance!"

You are broken out of your thoughts and snap back to the King. The audience titters in excitement.

"The first dance is always proceeded as such. The orchestra will play their song, and one couple, one couple only will dance for a few moments, then joined in with another couple. One by one."

Ooohs and aahhs, travel across the crowd. This dance, for traditional reasons, was supposed to represent how the citizens of different nations banded together to create the Five Kingdoms. But this dance was also another way to state your status, not only to the King, but to other nobility around.

Usually people of higher statuses, like Duke Wakatoshi or Prince Regent Oikawa who is chatting up Lord Iwaizumi would be the ones who'd go first with their partners. They were leaders and have to show their loyalty to the Five Kingdoms, but you wonder how a dance was supposed to do that.

"Now let the festivities begin!"

The King raises his hand and gestures to the orchestra, and a soft hum fills the room.

The music starts out slow, the piano playing softly and no one has set foot in the middle of the floor. Couples are nervously, teetering back and forth from the toes of their feet to their heels.

You settle into your stance, you know no one would ask you for a dance because you were practically nameless compared to some of the royalty here. You could spot princes and princesses from the other kingdoms that you thought for sure were going to dance.

That is until, familiar slender fingers, snatch the glass from your hand and set it on a servant's tray and wraps their hands around their wrist.

"Tendo! What are you doing?!" You say in a harsh whisper.

Tendo doesn't say a word, gently leading you or more like dragging you to the middle of the floor.

You try to protest again, but you notice that people heard the commotion and are starting to clear the path for you and Tendo.

You close your eyes shut and stand upright as you let Tendo lead you to the middle of the floor.

Tendo laughs softly at your expression and taps you on the shoulder.

"We're in the middle of the floor now," he says sing songily.

You open your eyes, but look down, "Yeah, I know. You can stop torturing me now."

He smiles again and bends down to meet your eyes. You quickly turn away.

Tendo's lips fall into a frown, "Why aren't you looking at me?"

He searches your face earnestly for an answer and you let out a huff, still facing away.

"Didn't you just hear me? It's because you're trying to embarrass me. You're always like this Tendo."

You say that last part a little too seriously, it was too close to the truth. But it seemed for Tendo, exactly what he wanted to hear.

Suddenly, you feel warmth on your cheek. Tendo's hand. He turns his head and slides his fingers under your jaw and tenderly strokes your face. He moves your face slowly and tilts your face up.

You've swear you've never felt more vulnerable, than right now with Tendo looking straight at you, straight through you.

"Hey look at me," he says softly.

"What do you think I'm doing?" you mutter softly.

You both laugh in somewhat relief, that the tension didn't totally kill of your banter.

"Okay, so we're going to dance the first dance. And you're going to enjoy it with me."

"Pfft I'm not."

Tendo casually slides his hand to your waist, like this was force of habit.

"You like dancing though. Says it keeps you distracted," he says.

You hesitantly place a hand on his shoulder, "Well yes I do. But not when we're the center of attention and supposed to be on the sidelines."

You lower your voice at that, and feel the eyes of people watching you and Tendo.

Tendo chuckles, "Well there isn't any rule that you have to be born of higher status to dance first. It's for everybody."

Tendo pulls you in by your waist, and softly grips the small of your back and you thought you couldn't get any closer.

"So just relax, and let me lead you okay?"

Where did teasing Tendo go? Where was the playful eyes, the wink, the smirk of joking?

Because right now there wasn't any of that. It was just Tendo staring at you, with the most concerned eyes. All harsh edges, or hidden meanings beneath those eyes were erased, gone.

Did he really care?

You nod and Tendo starts doing a simple waltz, and your feet follow.

The crowd applauses the both of you, and out of the corner of your eye you see the King raise his glass in approval.

Good, at least no one was going to drag you off the dance floor or ridicule you for being on there in the first place.

"See, you're doing great," Tendo smiles cheekily.

You give a smile back, "I think they're all just being polite."

You expected the musicians, to play a little more loudly, something more lively so you could focus on the steps and movements of the song. A song distracting enough that it would stop you from forever falling into this rabbit hole of Tendo Satori.

It didn't help that the string instruments were barely playing, it didn't help that the piano was the main star. That the song was so simple, that it seemed like it wanted you to pay attention to the person in front of you. Really the last thing you wanted to do.

You trip a little but Tendo steadies your body and the both of you laugh, a much needed release from tension.

"Are you nervous, [Name]?" Tendo teases.

"Anyone in their right mind would be nervous if they were in my position. Especially since their best friend didn't give them an explanation as to why they dragged them out here," You counter back.

You raise your eyebrow to wait for Tendo to talk.

Tendo, now, seems like the more flustered one. Your eyes widen at the way his cheeks turn red, and how fast his head whips around to avoid your gaze.

He murmurs through barely-open lips, "Maybe I was trying to give you the dance that you weren't able to get that night."

You furrow your eyebrows, "Tendo. Speak up-"

Tendo's voice comes out louder than expected, easily startling you, "MAYBE-"

He clears his throat awkwardly, and you had to chuckle at his aura of boyish charm instead of that suave facade he seems to put on in public.

"I said, 'Maybe I was trying to give you the dance that you weren't able to get that night'. You know, graduation night?"

You laugh, a little bit dryly, "Oh please Tendo, don't pity me like that."

This was beyond embarrassing, you think.

Tendo still looks at you with great concern, and you reiterate.

"I'm serious Tendo, if you're only doing this to make you feel better, it isn't going to work," you say seriously.

"Why would you think I'm doing this for pity?" he asks in your same tone.

You look bewildered, "Because that's what you do? You play around, joke around to make things seem better? Comedic relief? Things of that sort."

Tendo doesn't say a word, so it seemed like a good cue to continue, "And I'm forever grateful, for the way you help me with your lightheatedness. Your "nonchalancy." But that's not what I need right now. I don't entirely appreciate you torturing me with this first dance."

Tendo opens his mouth, then closes it in contemplation.

"Have you ever thought that this time... I'm not joking?"

Your eyes widen again, "Whatever do you mean, 'you're not joking'?"

You continue to spill out in more suprise, "Unless-"

You pause and look at Tendo's hopeful expression, and falter your accusation.

You whisper, "If it's not a joke then why-"

"I hated that night to you know? I wanted to dance with you, hang out with you, talk to you and only you. But I was stupid."

Tendo confesses and looks away. It was true, that Tendo favored an easy friendship with you, and only in the recent time you spent together in preparation for this ball did he realize that you wanted him as much as he wanted you.

At least that's what he hopes to find out soon. He can never really tell when you push and pull away from him every time he tries to do something.

Tendo looked at you earnestly, "And [Name], I'm going to be honest I regret everything I did that night because contrary to what you believe, I did not have the time of my life. I hated every second of it. I hated that I didn't help you, hated that I got mad at you for getting a date."

Your dancing seemed to slow down a little bit, and you take a look around and realize that other couples have already joined you. Off into their little worlds, personal planets revolving around each other.

"Hated myself for not taking the leap, when you needed someone there."

Tendo swallows and looks up at you, and you don't have it in you to look away.

"And I'm mad at myself right now, because I'm pretty sure I fucked it up. That I can't do anything now because I missed my chance, I'm too late."

Is it possible for a silence to exist when you can clearly hear the clicks of shoes on smooth floor? When tailcoats and layers of gowns are whipping through the air all around you? When single notes on a piano were plucked and played ever so quietly? Softly?

Or was it only possible when you were here, with your best friend, the only person you could ever say you loved deeply, unconditionally, sanely insane? Was it only possible when you were wrapped around his arms and held close? Was this silence only possible for this moment?

No, it doesn't have to be. You were not going to make this another night at the ball, a night that you were going to forget.

"Tendo-"

Tendo immediately perks up at your voice and you had to try really hard to downplay your stupid, oncoming grin.

"You're not late. You were never late."

It takes a while for the words to sink in, but god was it worth it.

You've never seen Tendo smile like this before,

"Wait so does this mean that- That you- That me! That we- us- Us? You and me-"

He's stuttering all over himself and you were the one who had to laugh.

"Yes Tendo. Yeah, exactly. That's what it means."

You beam up at Tendo and he smiles right back. Tendo looks at you for a second and pulls you close to him.

His arms wrap around you and he's still swaying, both of you laughing for a little. Tendo presses a kiss to your shoulder and at the base of your neck and breathes deeply.

"I feel like we could have figured this out a lot sooner than all these years don't you think?" He offers jokingly.

You chuckle and pull back, "Well yes, but-"

You bring your lips to Tendo's nose and give him a peck, which Tendo received with a dust of pink surrounding his face.

"But all that matters is that we figured it out in the end."

Tendo quickly presses his lips to yours, just a quick peck that leaves you stunned.

"Yeah, I'm glad that we figured it out too. I am though, for sure, going to love teasing you with kisses I mean-"

Your fingers pinch Tendo's ear and he yelps.

"Don't kiss me just to make me shut up. Just because we confessed to each other doesn't mean I'm going all lovey-dovey. Got it?"

Tendo grins and falls back into your embrace.

"Yes, yes of course my love."

AN: Oh god, so I finally did this? Was way more than expected? Am I tired ? Yes? No? And bestie I really do hope you enjoy this sorta long drabble. And hopefully all of you will like this too.

[bindannmalweg]

Wir haben das erste mal einen Schlafbus ausprobiert und sind nach Phnom Penh gefahren. Eigentlich sollte die Fahrt 6-7h dauern, aber wir waren nach 5 1/2 schon am Ziel, weshalb wir ab halb 6 morgens im Hotel auf unser Zimmer warten mussten. Ich konnte leider kaum schlafen im Bus was bisschen blöd war, aber grundsätzlich wars ganz angenehm und würd ich wieder machen. Während wir aufs Zimmer gewartet haben, waren wir lecker frühstücken und haben einen Spaziergang durch die Stadt gemacht. Später konnten wir am Pool chillen. Dort hab ich mir meinen ersten Sonnenbrand auf der Reise geholt, was sehr ärgerlich ist. Wir haben dort Marvin kennengelernt und sind mit ihm Abends noch Äthiopisch essen gegangen und haben in einer Bar getrunken. Am nächsten Tag sind wir zusammen auf eine Tour zum Genozid Museum und den Killing Fiels gefahren. Kambodscha hat eine sehr traurige und grausame Vergangenheit, die mich auf der Tour auch zum weinen gebracht hat. Heute werden wir nicht mehr viel unternehmen, und morgen gehts für uns endlich Richtung Meer. Über Weihnachten bleiben wir auf einer kleinen kambodschanischen Insel.

[cardest]

New Orleans playlist

Hungry for some po boys? Feeling the Mardi Gras vibes for this weekend? This is the ultimate NOLA playlist, right here. Play the songs here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-iHPcxymC182dTlE-Gii6ZOO5ZrN1Z1T

Louisiana and New Orleans, all in the one awesome playlist. If there are songs I left out, let me know and I can add those. Or come meet me at Le Bon Temps Roulé  and we’ll listen to this NOLA playlist together with drinks.

LOUISIANA & NEW ORLEANS

001 Bob James - Take Me To The Mardi Gras 002 Earl King - Ain’t no city like New Orleans 003 John Lee Hooker - goin’ to Louisiana 004 Crowbar -  Wrath Of Time By Judgment 005 True Detective - Theme (The Handsome Family - Far From Any Road) 006 EyeHateGod - New Orleans Is The New Vietnam 007 The The Meters -  Chicken Strut 008 Paul McCartney - Live And Let Die (from Live And Let Die) 009 The Rolling Stones - Brown Sugar 010 Lucinda Williams - Crescent City 011 King Hobo -  New Or-Sa-Leans 012 Concrete Blonde - Bloodletting 013 Down - Underneath Everything 014 True Blood Theme Song (Jace Everett - Bad Things) 015 Corrosion of Conformity -  Broken Man 016 The New Orleans Jazz Vipers - I Hope Your Comin' Back To New Orleans 017 Willy DeVille - Jump City 018 Left Side - Gold In New Orleans 017 Necrophagia -  Reborn through Black Mass 018 Johnny Horton -  The Battle Of New Orleans 019 Dr John - Litanie des Saints 020 Foo Fighters - In the Clear 021 Redbone - The Witch Queen Of New Orleans 022 Jucifer - Lautrichienne 023 Danzig - It's a long way back from hell 024 Harry Connick, Jr. -  Oh, My Nola 025 The Gaturs - Gator Bait 026 Jon Bon Jovi - Queen Of New Orleans 027 Cyril Neville -  Gossip 028 Carlos Santana - Black Magic Woman 029 Gentleman June Gardner - It's Gonna Rain 030 Eddy G. Giles - Soul Feeling (Part 1) 031 Tool - Swamp Song 032 Beasts of Bourbon -  Psycho 033 Seratones - Gotta Get To Know Ya 034 Chuck Berry -  You Never Can Tell 035 Grateful Dead - Mississippi Half-Step Uptown Toodleoo 036 Pale Misery - Hope is a Mistake 037 Exhorder - Homicide 038 King James & the Special Men - Special Man Boogie 039 Chuck Carbo -  Can I Be Your Squeeze 040 Amebix - Axeman 041 Tomahawk - Captain Midnight 042 Waylon Jennings - Jambalaya 043 Heavy Lids - Deviate 044 Red Hot Chili Peppers -  Apache Rose Peacock 045 Necrophagia -  Rue Morgue Disciple 046 Johnny Cash -  Big River 047 Albert King -  Laundromat Blues 048 Meklit Feat Preservation Hall Horns - You Are My Luck 049 Le Winston Band  - En haut de la montagne 050 Dr. john - I Thought I Heard New Orleans Say 051 Down -  New Orleans is a dying whore 052 Samhain -  To Walk The Night 053 Creedence Clearwater Revival -  Green River 054 Southern Culture on the Skids -  Voodoo Cadillac 055 Bonnie, Sheila -  You Keep Me Hanging On 056 Warren Lee -  Funky Bell 057 Elf - Annie New Orleans 058 Cannonball Adderley - New Orleans Strut 059 Doug Kershaw - Louisiana Man - New Orleans Version 060 Willy deVille  - Voodoo Charm 061 The Animals -  The House of the Rising Sun 062 Porgy Jones -  The Dapp 063 Lost Bayou Ramblers - Sabine Turnaround 064 IDRIS MUHAMMAD - New Orleans 065 John Lee Hooker - Boogie Chillen No. 2 066 Hank 3 - Hillbilly Joker 067 Nine Inch Nails -  Heresy 068 Talking Heads - Swamp 069 Irma Thomas - I'd Rather Go Blind 070 Mississippi Fred McDowell -  I'm Going Down the River 071 Dee Dee Bridgewater   - Big Chief 072 Dr. John  - Creole Moon 073 Agents of Oblivion -  Slave Riot 074 Steve Vai - Voodoo Acid 075 Saviours -  Slave To The Hex 076 Kris  Kristofferson -  Casey's Last Ride 077 JJ Cale - Louisiana Women 078 Cher - Dark Lady of New Orleans 079 LE ROUX - Take A Ride On A Riverboat 080 The Melvins -  A History Of Bad Men 081 Floodgate - Through My Days Into My Nights 082 Opprobium - voices from the grave 083 Quintron & Miss Pussycat - Swamp Buggy Badass 084 Child Bite - ancestral ooze 085 Sammi Smith - The City Of New Orleans 086 The Explosions - Garden Of Four Trees 087 Bobby Boyd - straight ahead 088 Bobby Charles - Street People 089 Wall of Voodoo -  Far Side of Crazy 090 Rhiannon Giddens - Freedom Highway (feat. Bhi Bhiman) 091 Elton John - Honky Cat 092 Serge Gainsbourg - Bonnie and Clyde 093 Fats Domino - I'm Walking To New Orleans 094 Cruel Sea - Orleans Stomp 095 Down -  On March The Saints 096 Danzig -  Ju Ju Bone 097 The Neville Brothers ~ Voodoo 098 Megadeth -  The Conjuring 099 Miles Davis - Miles runs the voodoo down 100 Elvis Presley - King Creole 101 Led Zeppelin - Royal Orleans 102 The Lime Spiders -  Slave Girl 103 BIG BILL BROONZY  -'Mississippi River Blues'   104 Kreeps - Bad Voodoo 105 Dirty Dozen Brass Band -  Caravan 106 Kirk Windstein -  Dream In Motion 107 Eletric Prunes - Kyrie Eleison - Mardi Gras 108 Merle Haggard - The Legend Of Bonnie And Clyde 109 Corrosion of Conformity -  River of Stone 110 THE ADVENTURES OF HUCK FINN (MAIN TITLE) 111 Zigaboo Modeliste - Guns 112 ReBirth Brass Band - Let's Go Get 'Em 113 Inell Young -  What Do You See In Her? 114 Jimi Hendrix - If 6 as 9 (Studio Version) Easy Rider Soundtrack 115 Deep Purple -  Speed King 116 Exhorder - The Law 117 Crowbar -  The Cemetery Angels 118 A Streetcar Named Desire OST - Main Title 119 WOORMS - Take His Fucking Leg 120 steely dan - pearl of the quarter 121 Tabby Thomas - Hoodoo Party 122 Black Label Society -  Parade of the Dead 123 Dwight James & The Royals - Need Your Loving 124 Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter (2012) The Rampant Hunter (Soundtrack OST) 125 PanterA - The Great Southern Trendkill 126 Ween - WHO DAT? 127 Earl King - Street Parade 128 Ernie K-Doe - Here Come The Girls 129 Dejan's Olympia Brass Band ~ Mardi Gras In New Orleans 130 Body Count -  KKK Bitch 131 Goatwhore - Apocalyptic Havoc 132 C.C. Adcock - Y'all d Think She Be Good To Me (from True Blood S01E01) 133 The Meters - Fire On The Bayou 134 Dr. John - I Walk On Guilded Splinters 135 Balfa Brothers - J'ai Passe Devant ta Porte 136 Ween - Voodoo Lady 137 King Diamond -  'LOA' House 138 Creedence Clearwater Revival - Born On The Bayou 139 Dax Riggs -  See You All In Hell Or New Orleans 140 Professor Longhair - Go to the Mardi Gras 141 Dixie Witch -  Shoot The Moon 142 Ramones - The KKK Took My Baby Away 143 Fats Waller -  There's Going To Be The Devil To Pay 144 Mississippi Fred McDowell -  When the Train Comes Along with Sidney Carter & Rose Hemphill 145 Treme Song (Main Title Version) 146 Tony Joe White - Even Trolls Love Rock and Roll 147 Nine Inch Nails -  Sin 148 Exodus -  Cajun Hell 149 NEIL DIAMOND - New Orleans 150 James Brown - Call Me Super Bad 151 Jimi Hendrix -  Voodoo Child ( Slight Return ) 152 Allen Toussaint - Chokin Kind 153 Dash Rip Rock  - Meet Me at the River 154 Hawg Jaw- 4 Lo 155 Hot 8 Brass Band - Keepin It Funky 156 Hank Williams III - Rebel Within 157 Dejan's Original Olympia Brass Band - Shake It And Break It 158 Jelly Roll Morton -  Finger Buster 159 The Royal Pendletons - (Im a) Sore Loser 160 Little Bob & The Lollipops - Nobody But You 161 Gregg Allman - Floating Bridge (True Detective Soundtrack) 162 Michael Doucel with Beausoleil - Valse de Grand Meche 163 Dolly Parton - My Blue Ridge Mountain Boy 164 Othar Turner & the Afrossippi Allstars – Shimmy She Wobble 165 Jucifer - Fleur De Lis 166 Soilent Green -  Leaves Of Three 167 Ides Of Gemini -  Queen of New Orleans 168 Betty Harris -  Trouble with My Lover 169 Lead Belly - Pick A Bale Of Cotton 170 Candyman Opening Theme 171 Goatwhore - When Steel and Bone Meet 172 Acid Bath - Bleed Me An Ocean 173 Pere Ubu - Louisiana Train Wreck 174 Walter -Wolfman- Washington - You Can Stay But the Noise Must Go 175 Alice in Chains -  Hate To Feel 176 Body Count -  Voodoo 177 Live and Let Die - Jazz Funeral 178 Smoky Babe -  Cotton Field Blues 179 Professor Longhair - Big Chief Part 2 180 Lewis Boogie - Walk the Line 181 James Black - Theres a Storm in the Gulf 182 The Balfa Brothers - Parlez Nous A Boire 183 The Jambalaya Cajun Band - Bayou Teche Two Step 184 The Deacons -  Fagged Out 185 Thou - The Changeling Prince 186 Black Sabbath -  Voodoo 187 King Diamond -  Louisiana Darkness 188 Doyle -  Cemeterysexxx 189 KINGDOM OF SORROW - Grieve a Lifetime 190 Hank Williams III - Louisiana Stripes 191 FORMING THE VOID - On We Sail 192 BUCK BILOXI AND THE FUCKS - fuck you 193 Down in New Orleans - The Princess and the Frog Soundtrack 194 Trombone Shorty & James Andrews  - oh Poo Pah Doo 195 Whitesnake -  Ain't No Love In The Heart Of The City 196 The Dirty Dozen Brass band - Voodoo 197 Joe Simon - The Chokin' Kind 198 Down -  Ghosts along the Mississippi 199 AEROSMITH  - Voodoo Medicine Man 200 Nine Inch Nails -  The Perfect Drug 201 The Byrds - [Sanctuary III] Ballad Of Easy Rider 202 The Iguauas - Boom Boom Boom 203 PJ Harvey - Down By The Water 204 Louis Armstrong - Do You Know What It Means To Miss New Orleans 205 Dr John - Right Place Wrong Time 206 ESTHER ROSE - handyman 207 Lightnin Slim - It's Mighty Crazy 208 Slim Harpo - Blues Hangover 209 Irma Thomas - Ruler Of My Heart 210 WEATHER WARLOCK - Fukk the Plan-0 211 Superjoint Ritual - The Alcoholik (Use Once And Destroy) 212 Stressball - dust 213 Trampoline Team - Kill You On The Streetcar 214 Xander Harris - Where’s your Villain? 215 Dukes of Dixieland - When The Saints Go Marching In 216 Kid Congo & The Pink Monkey Birds - Su Su 217 Danzig - I'm the one 218 EyeHatteGod - Pigs 219 Hank Williams Jr - Amos Moses 220 The Cramps - Alligator Stomp 221 Crowbar - The Serpent Only Lies 222 Shrüm - drip 223 Thou  - The Only Law 224 DR. JOHN - Babylon   225 Garth Brooks - Callin' Baton Rouge 226 Wild Magnolias - All On A Mardi Gras Day 227 NCIS New Orleans TV Show theme 228 Skull Duggery - Big Easy 229 Harry Connick Jr. - City beaneath the sea 230 Elvis Presley - Dixieland Rock 231 Tom Waits - I Wish I Was In New Orleans (In The Ninth Ward) 232 Neil Young - Everybody's Rockin 233 Philip H. Anselmo & The Illegals - Delinquent 234 CORROSION OF CONFORMITY - Wolf Named Crow 235 Widespread Panic - Fishwater 236 Lillian Boutté - Why Don't You Go Down to New Orleans 237 Bryan Ferry - Limbo 238 Scream - Mardi Gras 239 EyeHateGod - Shoplift 240 Better Than Ezra - good 241 Duke Ellington - Perdido (1960 Version) 242 Bob Dylan - Rambling, Gambling Willie 243 Big Bad Voodoo Daddy - sAve my soul 244 Le Roux - So Fired Up 245 Concrete Blonde - The Vampire song 246 Boozoo Chavis - Zydeco Mardi Gras 247 Idris Muhammad  - Piece of mind 248 Les Hooper - Back in Blue Orleans 249 Doug Kershaw - Cajun stripper 250 DOWN  - Witchtripper 251 Soilent Green - So hatred 252 Professional Longhair - Big chief 253 Willie Nelson - City Of New Orleans 254 Tom Waits - Whistlin' Past The Graveyard 255 Brian Fallon - sleepwalkers 256 Patsy - Count It On Down 257 Into the Moat - The Siege Of Orleans 258 Bruce Cockburn - Down To The Delta 259 Jello Biafra · the Raunch and Soul All-Stars - Fannie Mae 260 Exhorder - Asunder 261 Cane Hill - Too Far Gone 262 The Slackers - peculiar 263 Crowbar  - A Breed Apart   264 COC - Wiseblood 265 Necrophagia - Embalmed Yet I Breathe 266 EYEHATEGOD - Fake What's Yours 333 Alan Vega - Bye Bye Bayou 666 DOWN  - Stone the crow

I don’t beads by the way! Hit play here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-iHPcxymC182dTlE-Gii6ZOO5ZrN1Z1T

[nancyheart11]

I should go find when I wrote about my recurring dreams of having the cruise ship I'm on attacked by the kraken, middle school was wild XD

I’ve got four minutes left-

But I just wrote something I wanna post now :(

👀👀 writing??

(I'm sorry I didn't see this sooner lol you've probably posted it as I write this)