#chillen and killing

[x-heesy]

Bbbaby in my hood 🐈 🥹🥰🍭

Part1

#awwhardest #animalsarethebesthumans #animallovers #somethingtosmille #mybestfriendisananimal #thelittlethingsarethebigthings #cats #catsofinstagram #catstagram #katzenliebe #mietzekatze #catsagram #catscatscats #catsoftheworld #catsoftheday #catslover #catsgram #catsofinsta #catsoninstagram #catsfollowers #catslovers #catsofday #catsareawesome #catsdaily @frenchpsychiatrymuderedmycnut 🥹#catsloversworld #catsmeow #catscircus #cats_of_world #dailycats #beautifulcats #catsofworld #cats_of_day #catloversclub #catstagram #meow #lovecats #petlovers #adorablecats #catsareawesome #cats_of_instagram #cat_of_instagram #kittycatn

Soundtrack: Illioï by Zap Mama 🤍

[x-heesy]

@frenchpsychiatrymuderedmycnut

[normallusion]

Ein Paralleluniversum zum Mitnehmen, bitte.

[cator99]

I definitely closed my door when I left for work today but when I got back... it was open... The ftm who just moved out of my room was also just chillen in the living room topless smoking a fatty and watching music videos on the tv. Like ok go off king but also why you peeking around in my bedroom it's not yours anymore you fucking weirdo... this puts me in a difficult position because I respect the whole dirtbag female thing he has going on but also who the fuck do you think you are getting up in my shit like that and polluting my air with idiot fumes I will kill you so dead. But also like who care. What is he gonna do in my bedroom? steal my books? Ok... right........

[nancyheart11]

I should go find when I wrote about my recurring dreams of having the cruise ship I'm on attacked by the kraken, middle school was wild XD

I’ve got four minutes left-

But I just wrote something I wanna post now :(

👀👀 writing??

(I'm sorry I didn't see this sooner lol you've probably posted it as I write this)

[kharmii]

Probably the most unpopular opinion on the internet but I don’t like seeing all these posts glorifying autism or mental illnesses or see them as some sort of aesthetic or use every possible way to make sure you know they have autism or a mental illness.

As someone who’s been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and has been on meds for decades I kinda feel insulted by the way these conditions have become a quirky personality trait and an aesthetic to people as well as shoving it on all fictional characters.

I do like headcanon of characters having these conditions but it makes me uncomfortable to see characters getting stripped down to their conditions without anything else.

It is relieving to have characters go through similar things and have them react to them but it shouldn’t be the sole purpose to write them that way.

I also feel that no condition should be a free pass to be an asshole to the people around them. In the long run it does more harm than good and it doesn’t make "healthy" people more sympathetic towards their conditions.

My condition is not your aesthetic!

(Youre good for real but I have seen so many people in the submas fandom act like this and that autism is a quirky personality trait and reduce the twins to this it’s just tiring…)

This is all true. When you turn something undesirable into an aesthetic, then it has the disastrous effect of becoming a social contagion that will actually kill people fr. It's not fun to be autistic and/or mentally ill, and I'm sure most people with various neurodivergent dysfunctions would choose not to suffer from them if they could.

I wouldn't glorify suicide. I wouldn't glorify recreational drug use out of fear someone would join the tens of thousands of fentanyl overdoses every year in this country. On that same vein, I certainly don't want to see my favorite male characters with scars on their chests from getting their tits cut off. That results in death by suicide for almost half the people who go through with it. (LOL, complain moar about my 'codependent twincest kink' hurting the chillens when everybody and their grandmother glorifies something that causes the sterilization and mutilation of children).

A mutual over on Live Journal calls trendy autism 'fauxtism' and accuses those people of cosplaying autistic people as an excuse to act uncouth or feel marginalized. The worst thing they did was make an autistic spectrum (similar idea to a gender spectrum) because then people with mental illness comorbidities could jump under the umbrella of being autistic (or trans) because it's trendy.

Are you socially awkward? Maybe it's autism. Overly shy? Autism. The mutual had a falling out with a friend she called 'space case' who worked for NASA but had an 'autistic' daughter who suffered brain damage at one year of age after sucking down a bottle of medication carelessly left out. This mentally retarded daughter would smear shit on the walls and swing from ceiling fans, all while the mother claimed she was 'being creative' or some shite. It's proof you can be a genius working for NASA and also be the dumbest mofo on the planet.

Anyway, I personally have autistic symptoms, but my version of the 'tism comes from profound long-term abuse, -both from my family and from bullying from peers- going way back. I'm like irl Shoto Todoroki. Just look at this guy. You can tell he got the shit beat out him since he was little:

I can't count how many times I've said to myself, "If I smile then...they'll die?!" for laughs. Guy With Canon Abusive Family doesn't bother masking because he carefully guards his emotions. He comes across overly serious and deadpan, and some people might think he has no sense of humor because of it. Being a 15-year-old, Shoto is savvy enough to know he should be pissed at his abusers, but he isn't emotionally sophisticated enough to shake the deep insecurity that he might do or say something completely innocuous and still manage to make a mess of things or offend somebody.

Side note: That character is especially interesting because he was a product of selective breeding for a specific purpose. I imagine him being toddler aged pushing around a firetruck saying "I don't want to be the #1 hero when I grow up! I want to be a firefighter! Why can't I choose what I want to do!" No free will for him though. He has to hold up to the most impossible standard of perfection imaginable. What will the future hold for him? Will "too hot to handle; too cold to hold" become the #1 someday?

Having that personality type at my age, and I'm just recently realizing that, hey, maybe it's not always me. Maybe it's you people sometimes. If the guy stalking me has to repeat a joke several times so I 'get it' while I give him a thousand-yard stare, maybe it's less that I'm a retard and more that he's an unfunny goober giving me unwanted attention. If the middle aged incel weirdo with no wife and kids tells the same stupid 10-year-old joke again, maybe he shouldn't give me that knowing look when I flatly change the subject. Maybe I'm no fun, but he's an empty loser who has done absolutely nothing with his life, and therefore has nothing meaningful to talk about.

If I bring any of that up, I'm being MEEEEAAAAANNNNN....even if I had to take so much bs to get to that point. I'm the type of person who will take and take and take and take andtakeandtakeandtake before I finally snap. It's so typical of an abuser to have that sense of entitlement where they think you owe them something. -Like they feel they have the inherent right to be treated kindly and with dignity, but they won't reciprocate. Oh no....you are supposed to be a perfect slave who exists to please them and boost their egos.

Enough about me and my dysfunction. Sorry. This anon wanted to talk about Submas I think.....

Okay, so some people have the insulting head canon that Emmet is an asshole and therefore is 'more autistic' than Ingo. Does it have to be autism? Maybe it's more to do with how they represent 'truth and ideals'. Emmet (white dragon) is Truth, and that's why in the original game, he taunts the player when they lose against him. Ingo, (black dragon) is Ideals, and he still congratulates the player for a fun battle, even if they lose.

That's great. Let the truth guy be an asshole because the truth doesn't concern itself with being kind or worrying about a person's feelings. It is what it is. It can be both kind or harsh depending on the situation. Ideals, otoh, is polite and kind because it is always striving for the best. Nobody ever thinks....my ideal world has everything on fire and a lot of dead people in it. If truth and ideals don't work in harmony, however, that's what you end up with.

The head-in-the-clouds ideals guy might be considerate and kind all while walking you over the side of a cliff. The truth guy might say....heyy fuckknuckle! Don't walk over that cliff or else you will die! Okay, so maybe his delivery needs some work. Maybe he's being an asshole about it, but at least you don't end up dead from falling off a cliff. That makes the truth guy kinder in the long run (insert trans analogy in here, LOL!).

[logi1974]

Südafrika 2022/23 - Tag 17

Herrschaften und Oukies!

Auch heute Morgen klingelt wieder um 4 Uhr morgens für uns der Wecker bzw. (neumodisch) das Handy.

Wieder treffen wir uns mit Keith vorne am Gamedrive Wagen und wieder sind wir alleine mit ihm draußen. Die anderen Gäste bevorzugen, wie vermutet, den Nachmittag für die Pirschfahrt.

Sonnenaufgänge haben in Afrika einfach etwas magisches. Nirgends auf der Welt sind sie schöner. Jedenfalls bilden wir uns das ein...

Es ist schön, dem Sonnenaufgang zuzusehen und die ersten Zebras lassen sich blicken.

Dann kommt erst einmal eine ganze Weile nichts außer den üblichen Impalas und ein paar Kudus. Plötzlich kommt Bewegung in die Sache.

Über Funk wird eine Löwin vermeldet. Da mutiert Keith plötzlich zu Schumacher und in einem Affenzahn rasen wir durch den Busch. Zwischendurch kommt dann die Meldung, dass es ein ganzes Rudel an einem Riss sein soll. 

Es dauert auch gar nicht so lange, dann können wir schon einige Gamedrivewagen an einer Stelle versammelt sehen. 

Dort liegen zwei junge Männchen und 5 bis 6 Weibchen.

Der Kill ist natürlich schon vertilgt, die Löwen liegen mit dicken Bäuchen unter den Büschen. 

Das Interessanteste überhaupt sind zwei Schakale, die die Reste vertilgen und dabei ganz nervös sind.

Es benötigt eine ganze Weile bis man heraus findet, um welches Tier es sich bei dem Opfer handelt. 

Erst wird auf ein Warzenschwein getippt. Aber so ein ganzes Rudel davon satt kriegen? Das erscheint uns doch unwahrscheinlich.

Dann erspäht jemand aus einem der anderen Fahrzeuge mit dem Fernglas die Hörner eines Wasserbocks. Aha, das ist doch viel wahrscheinlicher.

So kann es weitergehen. Aber so geht es leider nicht weiter. Ziemlich lange fahren wir nur und können keine nennenswerten Begegnungen verzeichnen - es ist eben kein Zoo. 

So wird es dann mal Zeit für einen “Bushcoffee” mit den obligatorischen Rusks - diesen steinharten Mürbeteigkeksen. 

Keith hat zum Glück immer die Buttermilk Rusk im Gepäck - das sind sowieso die leckersten.

Diese Rusk halten ewig und gehören seit den Zeiten der alten Voortrekker in jeden Reiseproviant. Ein traditionelles Trockengebäck, welches in den Tee oder Kaffee getunkt wird. Zur Not kann man sich damit auch verteidigen oder auch ein Haus bauen.

Hoffnungsvoll machen wir uns auf den Weg, finden aber sonst keine interessanten Sichtungen weiter. Macht ja nix, dann muss halt die Vogelwelt herhalten.

Selbst die Geier sind heute langweilig.

Als wir zurück zur Lodge kommen, steht da der Wagen der Anit-Poaching-Einheit. Wir haben aber nix verbrochen!

Nach dem Gamedrive genießen wir wieder hungrig unser Frühstück. Die anderen Gäste treffen dazu ebenfalls ein und fragen natürlich nach unseren Sichtungen.

Danach wollen wir einfach am Pool chillen und lesen. 

Wir überspielen die Bilder und sortieren gleich aus, was kompletter Schrott ist. Micha hat einen interessanten Dokumentarfilm von dem Innenleben seiner Kameratasche gedreht, weil er aus irgend einem blöden Zufall die Videokamera angeschaltet ließ.

Wir genießen die Annehmlichkeiten der Unterkunft und haben dafür gar nicht so viel Zeit, wie wir gerne hätten.

Auch heute Abend gibt es ein köstliches Dinner und wieder nette Unterhaltungen, dieses Mal mit der Köchin. Sie weiß nicht, dass man Straußeneier auch essen kann und lässt sich von mir erklären, wie man Rührei davon macht. Wir sind immer überrascht, wie wenig die Locals über ihr Land und die Tiere wissen.

Später werden wir wieder zu unserem Chalet eskortiert und lassen auf der Terrasse noch die Geräusche auf uns wirken.

Da wir morgen früh wieder zur Pirschfahrt starten, geht es ruckzuck in die Heia.

Lekker Slaap!

Angie, Micha und der Hasenbär

[pumbkinrabbit]

The world is evil and uncomfortably warm bc i miss my bestie but he's chillen and I'm being a good fp by lettin him chill

I need to bite a chuck out of my wall and kill everyone with it I'm normal

[saschaederer]

* Stinking mouth taste

* “You’re pretty self-secure” (in ‘Taylor Swift’ voice, pertaining to me)

* Sausage smells (initial reference to me getting castrated, initial reference to Julian Sens having negotiated, delegated, commanded or perpetrating such)

* “Onani” (Japanese: ‘Masturbate’, in ‘Tomoko Kuriyama’ voice)

* “(Fett chillen) glans” (German: ‘(Fat chill) glans’, ‘fat chill land’ being a term I occasionally use to describe my state of being when I take a break)

* The back of my head feeling wet (pertaining to the music video of ‘Daniel Avery & Alessandro Cortini - Illusion of Time’)

* “Nofacegirl” (initial reference to the Reddit user u/nofacefreak_18)

* The threat published yesterday: “Stück for Stück” (German: ‘Piece by piece’, initial reference to my penis or a finger of mine getting cut off ‘for Putin’, partial reference to such happening at the behest of a Yakuza boss, partial reference to such happening at the behest of anyone else who might be represented by the painting ‘Franz von Stück – Lucifer’. Coded reference: ‘One by one’, initial reference to Japanese people who decide to dissent / act heroic, partial reference to anyone else who decides to do so)

* Comic-book-like mental image of Mike Tyson knocking out Jake Paul with an uppercut – mental image of Mike Tyson looking at me, like someone might do after a kill – Accusation ‘by him’ that he lost the fight because of me

* The ‘Focus’ Radio on Apple Music playing ‘Klein – Listen and See as They Take’ from the album ‘Lifetime’ and playing ‘Tom Day – Who we want to be’, followed up by another film type song afterwards – female vocalizations from above the ceiling – The pillow on which my head has rested, feeling as if it was pressed down (initial reference to Taylor Swift having been there invisibly but spared me for acting right, while another person (or the other way around, or other people entirely) had visited Mikhaila Peterson but harmed her for not doing so)

* Pus + bandage smells

* Sounds pertaining to ‘Klein – Listen and see as they take’ mixed under my breadth (initial reference to me getting castrated)

* Mental image of Josie Glabach naked, similar to the scene where Lucy was hit on her restraint helmet by a sniper rifle, in the first episode of the Anime (“(Eva) Elfie”) ‘Elfen Lied’ – vagina smell - ovulation smell – smegma + cheese smell

* My cheeks itching, me rubbing them and accidentally letting out a ‚Kiss‘ sound (initial reference to SRA (sodomy of wounds), initial reference to me)

* “Baka” (Japanese: ‘Idiot’, in ‘Tomoko Kuriyama’ voice, initially pertaining to me)

* Sour vagina smell (initial reference to Tomoko Kuriyama)

* Mental image of an amateur pornstar in a doggystyle position and her head not visibly in the frame, having her breast grabbed from behind (initial reference to Josie Glabach)

* “Scarlett (Peterson)”

* “Pretty” (pertaining to the Youtuber ‘Tokyo Foodie Sarah’)

* Mental image of Taylor Swift naked in a doggystyle position, masturbating – “He was good” (in ‘Taylor Swift’ voice, initial reference to her having had sexual intercourse with me while I was sleeping, has sexually assaulted me or I was forced to sexually assault her, with my memories having been erased afterwards) - Same image (POV) with her defecating, urinating or ejaculating on me

______________________________________________

 

REPORTS:

* Can’t see Mikhaila Peterson’s account on Instagram anymore since a week or so (if she hasn’t deleted it)

* About half of my socks appear to have been stolen (or otherwise disappeared), if I’m not mistaken

______________________________________________

 

PLEASE READ:

 

How I handle threats I receive (Last Update: 13. 11. 2024):

[cosmicanger]

Stop saying digitally lynched it’s such a weird turn of phrase to describe ppl just being a critical of you like comparing urself to being beaten and killed by mob is weird!!!

(received april 22 2023)

yea digital lynched is accurate, this is just cowardly anonymous DARVO now. yea a group of platformed nonblack ppl with more power than me & a bunch of platformed Black ppl who like nonblack ppl too much with more power than me through social capital are attacking online as a group and too scared to do it 1 on 1 and also sending their thousands of followers after one Black person for calling out anti-Blackness in the past. And that phrase especially fits in this instance cause I legit havent been starting shit w anyone Black on here and chillen mostly so again thousands are ppl are after one Black person online for… not being a 🦝. also y’all have literally made it impossible for me to crowdfund online so yea that IS literally killing me like I wish y’all would just say you want me dead but y’all just gonna keep punching down through social capital and use antiBlack nonblack ppl and be coded about the violence til me and any other Black person similar is d**d then y’all can act like y’all always supported us when they are gone and profits are high. disgusting. yes cutting off a Black trans person from crowdfunding online IS killing them like sorry not sorry that I am direct about whats happening here and again critical on me about what exactly? because i dont defend antiBlack nonblack people y’all like on here? like im not doing shit to even the people i hate on here besides bruising egos so whats good? If you cant say you want me dead off anon or irl it dont matter at all

[x-heesy]

Monday phunday 😂 #thxmum

THE DICK ABOUT BEING LAZY IS, YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU'LL BE DONE.

𝗣𝗨𝗥𝗥𝗙𝗘𝗖𝗧 𝗜𝗦 𝝠 𝗠𝗬𝗧𝗛 / 𝗜𝗧’𝗦 𝝠 𝗧𝗥𝝠𝗣 / 𝗕𝗥𝗘𝝠𝗞 𝗙𝗥𝗘𝗘 / 𝗤𝗨𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗜𝝝𝗡 𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗬𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗚 / 𝗖𝗛𝝝𝝝𝗦𝗘 𝗪𝗜𝗦𝗘𝗟𝗬 / 𝗪𝗘𝗜𝗥𝗗 𝗜𝗦 𝝠 𝗖𝝝𝗠𝗣𝗟𝗜𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗧 / 𝗡𝝝𝗧𝗘 𝗧𝝝 𝗠𝗬𝗦𝗘𝗟𝗙 / 𝗬𝝝𝗨 𝝠𝗥𝗘 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗥𝝝𝝠𝗗 /𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗧𝗟𝗘𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦𝝠𝗥𝗘𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗕𝗜𝗚𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 / 𝗠𝗬 𝗖𝗥𝗘𝗗𝝝 / 𝗟𝝝𝗩𝗘 & 𝗟𝗘𝗧 𝗟𝝝𝗩𝗘 / 𝗟𝗜𝗩𝗘 & 𝗟𝗘𝗧 𝗟𝗜𝗩𝗘 / 𝗞𝗘𝗘𝗣 𝗜𝗧 𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗣𝗟𝗘 / 𝗞𝗘𝗘𝗣 𝗜𝗧 𝗥𝗘𝝠𝗟 / 𝗩𝗘𝗧𝝝 / 𝗥𝗜𝗦𝗘𝗥𝗘𝗕𝗘𝗟𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗜𝗦𝗧 / 𝗠𝝝𝝝𝗗 𝗕𝝝𝝠𝗥𝗗 /𝗣𝗨𝗡𝗞𝗦𝝠𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗗𝗘𝝠𝗗 ​/ 𝗡𝝝 𝗚𝝝𝗗𝗦 𝗡𝝝 𝗠𝝠𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗦 / 𝗣𝗥𝝝 𝗟𝗜𝗙𝗘 𝗠𝗙𝗭 / 𝗘𝗡𝗘𝗥𝗚𝗬𝗦𝗨𝗖𝗞𝗘𝗥𝗭 𝗡𝝝𝗧 𝗪𝗘𝗟(𝗟) 𝗖𝗨𝗠 / 𝗧𝝝 𝝠𝗟𝗟 𝗧𝗛𝝠 𝗟𝗨𝗩𝝠𝗭

#justanfriendlyreminder 😂

#thelittlethingsarethebigthings 🔎

#autosuggestion #pointofview #codingyourself #programyourself #endlessness #creatingyourself #neverstoplearning

#fantasy #empathy #equality #respect #love #basics ☑️

#textart #artfulquotes #typography #expressyourself #iphoneart #newcontemporary #popart #artsyfartsy #artfuckery

#quotes #quotesdaily #quotestoliveby #quotestagram #quotesaboutlife #quotesoftheday #quotestags #quotesgram #motivationalquotes #quotesandsayings #quoteslover @frenchpsychiatrymuderedmycnut 😂 #quotesofinstagram #quotesforlife #quotestoinspire #quotestoremember #quotestag #quotesilove #inspirationalquotes #lovequotes #quotesaboutlifequotesandsayings #successquotes #dailyquotes #lifequotes #quotesforyou #positivequotes #quotes4you #quotesaboutlove #instaquotes #quoteslife #quoteslove #qotd

Soundtrack: Don't Worry Be Happy by Bobby McFerrin

[alexilulu]

the garten of banban series is like genuinely fascinating to me in a way that most really low-polish horror isnt usually for me. like its just baffling. the decisions happening in the story that make it what it is, and just clinging to it wholeheartedly. mascot guys who killed you last game are just chillen now and they're nice and cool and normal people except they're made of play-doh and have european continental accents except for the one who's like, a fuckin european guy trying to do a central texas accent? They had to invent a new kind of evil fucked up guy to give them an actual villain b/c they kept making the guys just hang around after they're done murdering you

watching the most recent scorpy banban vod and man i've really gotta make something, it turns out they'll let literally anybody make a video game and it can be whatever you want

[macbethheadband]

Im just working it all out in my head right. So for jimmy to think lalo is after him and then say ‘it was ignacio’ in brba means hes probably gonna be brought into the whole pinning the attack on lalo on nacho story by gus. So when hes saying ‘it was ignacio’ hes just continuing to tell gus’ story. But whats gonna be fun is finding out whether gus and mike will tell jimmy the truth about it or if mike is gonna have to lie about nacho to jimmy and get that regretful pop pop look on his face.

[originlist]

au where tm actually listens to pfalz’s huge brain and uses their summer salieri design and hes a rider out of spite. whats he riding? nothing, doesnt matter. riding the high of spite. and not being saddled with the avenger class oblivion correction so he might still have wildfire but at least he aint carrying like 209320954730 alternate timeline memories and does actually think he killed mozart rather than being generally upset. free salieri from avenger class 2k20, just here to vibe and kill a man

[erensnubs]

Hi babe, I'm finally doing your little event it's fucking cool You know who I am so I don't gotta tell you much😎

Anyways I'd like to go to King Midas Castle if you will madam😉 let's go with the Ballroom because I'm extra and love cliches vehicle 5 seems pretty snazzy so let's go with that then. gonna go with food 8😳

About me??? Well most of my interests are the same as my 5 year old brothers sooo (sharks, dinosaurs, dressing up for fun) I'm really just all over the place one minute and then I'm just chillen the next so that's a thing. I like making people laugh and I've grown to realize I'm kind of a touchy person. I like people who make me laugh and laugh with me, people who share the same values and just nice people overall, but I can't stand people who just roll over and take it when I'm teasing them. It ruins the flow and I hate it, anyways that's about it really see ya😌

thank you my seggsy moot for joining

𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝑪𝒉𝒐𝒔𝒆 𝑽𝒆𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒍𝒆 𝑭𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒊𝒔 𝑭𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔

𝑰 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑻𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒐 𝑺𝒂𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒊

Your carriage hits a bump in the road and you are suddenly thrown next to your closest friend, notorious douchebag of a nobleman Tendo Satori.

"Woah there man, I know you're obsessed with me but that doesn't mean you need to jump all over me," he says jokingly.

You attempt to slide of Tendo's lap but he quickly stops you, his arm sliding over your torso and pulling you a little too close.

You slap his arm, quite harshly, "Bruh what the hell are you doing? Let me sit down before another bump passes?"

Tendo rolls his eyes, no intention of letting you go.

"As soon as we step out of this carriage, I can and I will push you so you'll fall face flat if you don't let me go now," you sneer at him.

Tendo does nothing, whistling absentmindedly and toying with the various medals on his military suit.

You struggle a bit, pushing out and wriggling from his grasp until-

Thump.....

THUMP THUMP THUMP

"OH MY GODDESS!" You scream.

Tendo holds on to you tighter and pathetically whimpers, "Didn't think that the pot holes on the road would be that bad..."

He lets you go and you quickly slide of his lap and onto the cushioned seat next to him.

You slowly turn to him in anger, "You're telling me... You've been on this road before?! You know how much I hate, HATE potholes! Or anything that could damage this carriage-"

Tendo throws his hands up, "I know, trust me! All I hear is 'these vehicles are my babies, and my father would kill me if they were damaged blah blah blah bullshit'"

Tendo copies your mannerisms in a way you would deem, disrespectful but you find yourself to be tolerable tonight.

You slump down and put your head in your hands, "Why did you even pick this route to go to?"

Tendo shrugs, twirling around the tassels on his cuff with his fingers, "It's faster to get to the ball this way. Thought a shortcut would prove useful for us."

He throws you a wonky smile and you hate to admit that it made your heart do a flip. If you were anyone else you would smile back, and possibly laugh because you know it was a joke. But you're not just anybody. You've known this notorious jokester almost your whole life, and are practically immune to all his antics.

Still doesn't help that you're half in love with him though. Seems as if the antics made their way through the crevices and cracks you built around your self proclaimed "guarded" heart.

But not all hope is lost, instead of laughing and smiling at Tendo's sweet pathetic comfort, you gag and groan.

"You know how much I hate balls. Especially this one. I actually have to be present, have to be alert and act like nobility. And now you're telling me we're going to get there faster?"

You pout your lips and slump against the seat, furlined coat crinkled under the motion.

Tendo sighs in mock forlorn, his long fingers still twiddling with the tassels of his clothing, "I know you hate balls, but after it's over you're going to thank me. If we get there the fast route, we also get back home the fast route."

He stops his twiddling and point his fingers to you, "You'll be able to escape the party and we can get back home safely."

Your eyes drift over to the window and glance at the forest leaves, turning from green to gold. Anyone in the Five Kingdoms knows that when the forest turns from green to gold, it isn't fall. It means you're in the lush, green land of King Midas, where his castle is made of the finest jewels and gold and wherever the sun shone, everything looked as if it were crafted from gold.

Your fingers mindlessly tap the window, and watch the golden hues sway before your eyes.

"We're almost here," you say, your voice barely above a whisper.

You don't know why your voice came out like that, or why your mouth chose to utter the words but it felt like a reverence. A calm before the storm.

Though your back was facing Tendo, the man still looked at you in question. He was expecting a retort, not this calm [Name] he knew all his life. His face tilted, bright red eyes shaded by the shadow of your figure. How he wished to reach out and touch you, but it felt like you drew a veil between the two of you and out of respect for your boundaries, Tendo decided to hold himself back.

The weight of the carriage got lighter, wheels travelling on what you assumed was the gold tiled pathways and bridges that travel up to the castle.

The blurs of gold slow down and your eyes are now trained on the golden fountain, outside your window.

You have arrived at the palace.

The footguard opens up your door and you step out rather slowly, as if your feet were hanging with dread.

You turn around the carriage and see Tendo hop out all smiling and gleaming, toes jumping on the ground.

Red eyes trained and hyper on the big golden stair case that you have to venture, before the already dreaded ball. Tendo's eyes danced from the stairs, to you, back to the stairs again.

Seeing the reluctance in your body language, Tendo settles down and brings his hand out toward you. He gives you a wink, a tilt of his head and that signature smirk that has all of court in a chokehold.

You roll your eyes but allow yourself a little smile and place your hand in his. Tendo leans down, lips puckered to kiss your hand but you immediately shakes his head.

He shrugs his head, and you wish your small rejection could have done more than just that.

"You ready for this to party?"

You roll your shoulders back and straighten out your posture.

"Ready as I'll ever be."

You're currently in the ballroom of the golden castle, back leaned against a pillar and a drink in one hand. You've already entertained nobility and royalty alike since you came and you feel like you deserve a little rest.

You let your glass meet your lips, and watch Tendo from behind the rim.

Tendo is animatedly teasing other statesmen, mainly Lord Semi Eita, Lord Shirabu Kenjirou and Duke Ushijima Wakatoshi. The former give Tendo annoyed looks and the latter, indifferent looks, devoid of interest or concern.

Tendo's bright red hair flops around and you could see the sweat laced within the strands and you stifle a laugh. Was he moving around so much that he was sweating?

You watch Tendo as he wraps his arms around Lord Semi and Lord Shirabu and the two look like they want to die. Tendo starts to pull them out of the pillars and near the orchestra. Tendo waves his hand and gestures something to the musicians and suddenly the room is filled with violins playing a lively jig. Tendo grabs both of the lords hands and leads them around in a circle.

Soon more lords and nobles clap and join in, sucked into this vortex of dance and happiness. You watched from the sidelines as royalty left their posts near the pillars and led their lovers and friends to the middle of the room. Tendo leads this seemingly mad dance and some part of you is worried that you lost him in the crowd, but you see that vibrant red hair, dampened by sweat and possibly drinks and crimson eyes staring back at you.

You breathe out a sense of relief, you don't know what for but you do, and give a wave of acknowledgement back.

Tendo slows down his dancing and mouths out the words, "Come join me in here!"

You shake your head and mouth back, "It's okay."

He pouts for a little but then immediately bounces back into the crowd, like he never left.

How does this man have boundless energy? You wonder half the time if you're in love with the man or just admire his bravado?

You back up a little to stray away from the ever growing tornado of this crowd, but your eyes catch onto Tendo again.

His eyes were closed but you could tell he was in the moment, lips lifted up to a smile, wrinkles around the corner of his eyes. His hair that was too long for a nobleman gathered in soft clumps around the base of his neck and curls were dampened on his forehead. So lost in the music, the moment, arms outstretched and wide.

No, you were for sure in love with this man.

A thought settled into you though, something that you always tried to ignore, but arose in times like these. When you were alone, with no nobility to bore you with talk of affairs and no Tendo with his sarcastic remarks to pull you out of it. It usually went along the lines of If Tendo found out I loved him, how would he react? Would he hate me? Ignore me? What if it ruined our lifelong friendship?

Do I even deserve him?

That last thought rings true to your mind, more than it needs to be. Tendo, confident, charming, boisterous. One with the people, friendly. You, distant, unapproachable, reserved. Always from the outside looking in.

The sudden clapping and cheers from people broke you from your thoughts. The dancers dispersed and found their way back to their little groups after Tendo's impromptu dance session was over. You see him saunter over to you, chest heaving and mouth open.

"Close your mouth, you look like a dog with that tongue hanging out," you say with a punch to his arm.

Again, Tendo shrugs it off and adjusts his attire.

He layers his medals properly on his chest, "Why are you so worried anyway? Nobody is going to notice."

Suddenly a harsh silence fell over the room. You look around and your eyes catch on the someone who made the room silent.

You speak through your teeth, "Because the King just walked in."

Tendo looks up from his meddling, "Oh shit." He quickly pushes his hair back, attempting to use the sweat to achieve a "slick-backed look."

The King descends down from the winding staircase, long golden hued robes touched with rubies and diamonds drag ever so slowly, that you have to stifle your yawn.

It's only when you see the figure behind him, that you start paying attention.

Tendo looks at your, now, sour face, "Hm you have a distaste for the King's right hand man. He looks just like your type."

No dumbass, my type is you, you mutter internally. Not that stupid, haughty peacock of a man.

You counter back, "You think I would stoop so low for him? I might be stupid but I have standards, Tendo."

Tendo's voice comes out in a low whisper, "Sounds to me like you know him."

You reply with a mysterious tone, "Maybe I do."

The two men finally arrive at the elevated area of the ball and every person's head in the room is lowered in bows and curtsies.

The king outstretches his right hand and speaks in that annoyingly "kingly" voice.

"Welcome to our annual ball of the Celebration of the Five Kingdoms!" The king starts out and the attendees erupt into applause.

You clap your hands lightly and lean over to Tendo, eyes still trained forward to his majesty, "That could have been much better worded couldn't it?"

Tendo sighs, "Yes but that's what it is officially called. Can't change it."

"Well I guess you're going to have to marry the one of the King's children and convince them to change the name of this celebration," you suggest as the King starts talking.

"Your vision isn't wide as mine, [Name], I could seduce the King and change the name like that," Tendo says with a smile.

"-The Celebration of the Five Kingdoms is one of our most important events. We celebrate and commemorate how our forefathers of these kingdoms were able to come together and build up what are great nations are today!"

Again, the attendants applause, some raise their glasses in approval and take a drink.

Tendo leans over and drinks a bit from your glass.

"Remind me how you know him again?"

You try to act dumb, "Who?"

Tendo's lower lip juts out with a pout, "You know who I'm talking about. Him. The right hand man of the King. He looks about our age yeah?"

You nod and spoke in a more hushed tone, "Do you remember that one ball about a year or two ago,when we just graduated from the academy?"

Tendo nods, "How could I forget? We felt like we were on top of the world."

Tendo gives you a small smile, and maybe its the alcohol or the sudden low lighting in the room but you sink into yourself and allow yourself to indulge in his company with your guard down, just this once.

"Yeah, well do you remember me crying?" You say, smiling at the bittersweet memory.

"Well yes... that's what led us to destroy the fountain in one of the gardens..." Tendo says sheepishly.

You take a long swig of your drink now, "Well that was because my date to that dance, was late and refused to dance with me the whole time. Left early as well."

You stop your talking and point to the right hand man, "My date was that man. God, he promised he'd be there. Promised me lots of things but none of them were fulfilled."

You sigh, "Of course I was upset but now I just get annoyed looking back on it because I did spent a while, moping around because some dude didn't give me the time of day to pay attention to me."

You face Tendo and are met with a face you've never seen before, his face is one of revelation, but you don't pay it mind. He was probably surprised at the story you were telling.

"That's why I always got jealous when you and all our other friends talked about our graduation dance," you confess, walls already building back up again.

You turn and face the King again, but you feel Tendo's gaze linger on you for more than necessary. It was true, you were jealous. You regret crying over that piece of shit, and complaining to your parents about it. You regret comparing your experience with Tendo's. That graduation dance was supposed to be the time of your lives, before all of you had to be thrust into the reality of becoming adults and for you and Tendo? Before you had to be noblemen and represent your family and their status.

You didn't like how you were already introduced to reality, when it was a time for dreamers. This was probably why, despite your best efforts, you clung onto Tendo. He was a joy in your life, someone you've grown to love and you were going to hold onto him, your piece of sunshine, for as long as possible.

"-This is why we have noblemen and royalty from all over the nations to celebrate! Now we will have our first dance!"

You are broken out of your thoughts and snap back to the King. The audience titters in excitement.

"The first dance is always proceeded as such. The orchestra will play their song, and one couple, one couple only will dance for a few moments, then joined in with another couple. One by one."

Ooohs and aahhs, travel across the crowd. This dance, for traditional reasons, was supposed to represent how the citizens of different nations banded together to create the Five Kingdoms. But this dance was also another way to state your status, not only to the King, but to other nobility around.

Usually people of higher statuses, like Duke Wakatoshi or Prince Regent Oikawa who is chatting up Lord Iwaizumi would be the ones who'd go first with their partners. They were leaders and have to show their loyalty to the Five Kingdoms, but you wonder how a dance was supposed to do that.

"Now let the festivities begin!"

The King raises his hand and gestures to the orchestra, and a soft hum fills the room.

The music starts out slow, the piano playing softly and no one has set foot in the middle of the floor. Couples are nervously, teetering back and forth from the toes of their feet to their heels.

You settle into your stance, you know no one would ask you for a dance because you were practically nameless compared to some of the royalty here. You could spot princes and princesses from the other kingdoms that you thought for sure were going to dance.

That is until, familiar slender fingers, snatch the glass from your hand and set it on a servant's tray and wraps their hands around their wrist.

"Tendo! What are you doing?!" You say in a harsh whisper.

Tendo doesn't say a word, gently leading you or more like dragging you to the middle of the floor.

You try to protest again, but you notice that people heard the commotion and are starting to clear the path for you and Tendo.

You close your eyes shut and stand upright as you let Tendo lead you to the middle of the floor.

Tendo laughs softly at your expression and taps you on the shoulder.

"We're in the middle of the floor now," he says sing songily.

You open your eyes, but look down, "Yeah, I know. You can stop torturing me now."

He smiles again and bends down to meet your eyes. You quickly turn away.

Tendo's lips fall into a frown, "Why aren't you looking at me?"

He searches your face earnestly for an answer and you let out a huff, still facing away.

"Didn't you just hear me? It's because you're trying to embarrass me. You're always like this Tendo."

You say that last part a little too seriously, it was too close to the truth. But it seemed for Tendo, exactly what he wanted to hear.

Suddenly, you feel warmth on your cheek. Tendo's hand. He turns his head and slides his fingers under your jaw and tenderly strokes your face. He moves your face slowly and tilts your face up.

You've swear you've never felt more vulnerable, than right now with Tendo looking straight at you, straight through you.

"Hey look at me," he says softly.

"What do you think I'm doing?" you mutter softly.

You both laugh in somewhat relief, that the tension didn't totally kill of your banter.

"Okay, so we're going to dance the first dance. And you're going to enjoy it with me."

"Pfft I'm not."

Tendo casually slides his hand to your waist, like this was force of habit.

"You like dancing though. Says it keeps you distracted," he says.

You hesitantly place a hand on his shoulder, "Well yes I do. But not when we're the center of attention and supposed to be on the sidelines."

You lower your voice at that, and feel the eyes of people watching you and Tendo.

Tendo chuckles, "Well there isn't any rule that you have to be born of higher status to dance first. It's for everybody."

Tendo pulls you in by your waist, and softly grips the small of your back and you thought you couldn't get any closer.

"So just relax, and let me lead you okay?"

Where did teasing Tendo go? Where was the playful eyes, the wink, the smirk of joking?

Because right now there wasn't any of that. It was just Tendo staring at you, with the most concerned eyes. All harsh edges, or hidden meanings beneath those eyes were erased, gone.

Did he really care?

You nod and Tendo starts doing a simple waltz, and your feet follow.

The crowd applauses the both of you, and out of the corner of your eye you see the King raise his glass in approval.

Good, at least no one was going to drag you off the dance floor or ridicule you for being on there in the first place.

"See, you're doing great," Tendo smiles cheekily.

You give a smile back, "I think they're all just being polite."

You expected the musicians, to play a little more loudly, something more lively so you could focus on the steps and movements of the song. A song distracting enough that it would stop you from forever falling into this rabbit hole of Tendo Satori.

It didn't help that the string instruments were barely playing, it didn't help that the piano was the main star. That the song was so simple, that it seemed like it wanted you to pay attention to the person in front of you. Really the last thing you wanted to do.

You trip a little but Tendo steadies your body and the both of you laugh, a much needed release from tension.

"Are you nervous, [Name]?" Tendo teases.

"Anyone in their right mind would be nervous if they were in my position. Especially since their best friend didn't give them an explanation as to why they dragged them out here," You counter back.

You raise your eyebrow to wait for Tendo to talk.

Tendo, now, seems like the more flustered one. Your eyes widen at the way his cheeks turn red, and how fast his head whips around to avoid your gaze.

He murmurs through barely-open lips, "Maybe I was trying to give you the dance that you weren't able to get that night."

You furrow your eyebrows, "Tendo. Speak up-"

Tendo's voice comes out louder than expected, easily startling you, "MAYBE-"

He clears his throat awkwardly, and you had to chuckle at his aura of boyish charm instead of that suave facade he seems to put on in public.

"I said, 'Maybe I was trying to give you the dance that you weren't able to get that night'. You know, graduation night?"

You laugh, a little bit dryly, "Oh please Tendo, don't pity me like that."

This was beyond embarrassing, you think.

Tendo still looks at you with great concern, and you reiterate.

"I'm serious Tendo, if you're only doing this to make you feel better, it isn't going to work," you say seriously.

"Why would you think I'm doing this for pity?" he asks in your same tone.

You look bewildered, "Because that's what you do? You play around, joke around to make things seem better? Comedic relief? Things of that sort."

Tendo doesn't say a word, so it seemed like a good cue to continue, "And I'm forever grateful, for the way you help me with your lightheatedness. Your "nonchalancy." But that's not what I need right now. I don't entirely appreciate you torturing me with this first dance."

Tendo opens his mouth, then closes it in contemplation.

"Have you ever thought that this time... I'm not joking?"

Your eyes widen again, "Whatever do you mean, 'you're not joking'?"

You continue to spill out in more suprise, "Unless-"

You pause and look at Tendo's hopeful expression, and falter your accusation.

You whisper, "If it's not a joke then why-"

"I hated that night to you know? I wanted to dance with you, hang out with you, talk to you and only you. But I was stupid."

Tendo confesses and looks away. It was true, that Tendo favored an easy friendship with you, and only in the recent time you spent together in preparation for this ball did he realize that you wanted him as much as he wanted you.

At least that's what he hopes to find out soon. He can never really tell when you push and pull away from him every time he tries to do something.

Tendo looked at you earnestly, "And [Name], I'm going to be honest I regret everything I did that night because contrary to what you believe, I did not have the time of my life. I hated every second of it. I hated that I didn't help you, hated that I got mad at you for getting a date."

Your dancing seemed to slow down a little bit, and you take a look around and realize that other couples have already joined you. Off into their little worlds, personal planets revolving around each other.

"Hated myself for not taking the leap, when you needed someone there."

Tendo swallows and looks up at you, and you don't have it in you to look away.

"And I'm mad at myself right now, because I'm pretty sure I fucked it up. That I can't do anything now because I missed my chance, I'm too late."

Is it possible for a silence to exist when you can clearly hear the clicks of shoes on smooth floor? When tailcoats and layers of gowns are whipping through the air all around you? When single notes on a piano were plucked and played ever so quietly? Softly?

Or was it only possible when you were here, with your best friend, the only person you could ever say you loved deeply, unconditionally, sanely insane? Was it only possible when you were wrapped around his arms and held close? Was this silence only possible for this moment?

No, it doesn't have to be. You were not going to make this another night at the ball, a night that you were going to forget.

"Tendo-"

Tendo immediately perks up at your voice and you had to try really hard to downplay your stupid, oncoming grin.

"You're not late. You were never late."

It takes a while for the words to sink in, but god was it worth it.

You've never seen Tendo smile like this before,

"Wait so does this mean that- That you- That me! That we- us- Us? You and me-"

He's stuttering all over himself and you were the one who had to laugh.

"Yes Tendo. Yeah, exactly. That's what it means."

You beam up at Tendo and he smiles right back. Tendo looks at you for a second and pulls you close to him.

His arms wrap around you and he's still swaying, both of you laughing for a little. Tendo presses a kiss to your shoulder and at the base of your neck and breathes deeply.

"I feel like we could have figured this out a lot sooner than all these years don't you think?" He offers jokingly.

You chuckle and pull back, "Well yes, but-"

You bring your lips to Tendo's nose and give him a peck, which Tendo received with a dust of pink surrounding his face.

"But all that matters is that we figured it out in the end."

Tendo quickly presses his lips to yours, just a quick peck that leaves you stunned.

"Yeah, I'm glad that we figured it out too. I am though, for sure, going to love teasing you with kisses I mean-"

Your fingers pinch Tendo's ear and he yelps.

"Don't kiss me just to make me shut up. Just because we confessed to each other doesn't mean I'm going all lovey-dovey. Got it?"

Tendo grins and falls back into your embrace.

"Yes, yes of course my love."

AN: Oh god, so I finally did this? Was way more than expected? Am I tired ? Yes? No? And bestie I really do hope you enjoy this sorta long drabble. And hopefully all of you will like this too.

[wanderlostwoods]

I want somebody to just beat the shit out of me. like. fucking wreck me, you know? knock my teeth out, break my left arm and smash my skull against the concrete.