#chicago med angst

[saragarnier]

Away from you pt.2

pairing: Jay halsted x reader

summary: when y/n found out that her boyfriend was cheating on her she left Chicago, without saying a word.

warning: Angst maybe and bad english since it's not my first language.

A/N: i'm actually thinking about writing a part 3, but i'm not sure.

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Previous part, next part

When Jay got home that night, he went straight to the bedroom, without noticing your absence at once; he was really tired after the intense day at work and after the night he spent with Hailey. He was feeling guilty about it, obviously, but he could find the courage, he just couldn’t tell his future wife that he completely messed up with everything. He loved her, he really loved y/n and he didn’t want to lose her, even if she would have all the rights to do it, after all he cheated on her, just few months before the wedding.

Jay was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t realise that she wasn’t still at home; he removed the badge and the gun from his belt, placing them silently on the bedside table, then he looked around and he finally noticed that you weren’t sleeping in the bed. He frowned, looking around and trying to understand where you were; he couldn’t hear the noise of the shower and the bathroom’s door was open, so you couldn’t be there either. He searched the entire home, then he took his phone out and he messaged you, hoping that you still were with Kim outside.

He tried to not get worried, but he couldn.t help himself when he saw that the message hadn't been sent successfully; he stayed awake for another hour, before falling asleep on the couch, waiting for your return.

He woke up the next day, feeling pain all over his body because of the position he fell asleep with; he looked around and he got up, searching all the house to find you. The bed was still done, and it didn’t seem like someone slept in it the other night, so it was clear that you didn’t come back home.

Feeling his hear skipping a beat because of his worry.

Why didn’t she come back home?

Had something happened last night?

Was she in danger?

He grabbed his phone and called for Kim straight away, walking all around the house while waiting for her to respond. He knew that it was still early in the morning, and he didn’t want to wake her up, but he had no choice. Y/n could have been in danger, something could have happened to her while she was coming back home, and he needed to know at what time Kim and her left the bar.

“Jay, it’s six in the morning, what’s happening?” Kim whispered when she answered the phone, seeing Jay’s name on the screen.

“Is y/n with you? Did something strange happened yesterday? Did she leave the bar after a call from the hospital?” Jay questioned her without taking a single breath. He just wanted to know if you were okay, if you were with her, maybe after drinking too many beers. He couldn’t understand for what reason you didn’t come home last night and he couldn’t believe that something bad happened to you or he would have known by that moment, his brother Will would have advised you.

“What? No, she left around ten pm and she walked away saying that he needed to do something… why? Did something happen?” Kim got up from her bed immediately, especially after hearing his tone of voice and hearing how worried he seemed to be.

“Fuck.” He exclaimed, shaking his head, still walking all around the house; he grabbed his badge and his gun, then he left the apartment without even reaching for his jacket. It wasn’t cold outside, but you definitely needed to have a jacket with you all the time in Chicago, at least till the begin of the summer. “She didn’t come back home last night and she doesn’t respond to my messages or my calls. I’m going to call Mouse and to make him track her phone, after that I’ll call Voight if I notice something strange, okay?”

“Shit…” Kim whispered, worried. “Tell me if you find out something, okay? “

“Sure.” Jay reassured her, then he hung up and he called Mouse instead.

He waited for almost a minute before his friend answered the phone, still in his dreams; Jay could tell just by his voice that he woke up Mouse and that he wasn’t really happy about that, but he just couldn’t wait any longer, especially if something bad happened to you.

How could he have been so stupid?

You were never late, he should have called Mouse and Kim the night before, he should have called them before to make sure that you were okay. What if someone kidnapped you? What if someone hurt you?

It would have been his fault.

It would have been his fault because you went out with Kim alone because he wanted to spend the evening with Hailey, he would have been his fault because he should have called for help immediately, he would have been his fault because he wasn’t by your side.

“Mouse, I need you to track y/n’ phone right now!” Jay said without waiting a minute.

“What do you guys have with tracking each other phones, uh?” Mouse replied, mumbling something about last night, when you called him.

Jay froze at hi friend’s words; he pulled up and he parked the car before crashing into someone else, then he took a deep breath and he try to stay focused on Mouse.

“Wait… what does that mean?” He whispered, afraid of what he could have discovered.

“She asked me to track your phone yesterday’s night… she seemed worried about you falling again into ptsd and I immediately tracked your phone. I told her that you were in your older apartment and that’s it, I didn’t hear from her after that.”

In that moment, all the dots connected.

That’s why Kim said you left earlier that’s why he noticed the backup- key in the wrong position, that’s why she didn’t come back home and that’s why she didn’t respond to his messages or calls.

She knew.

She found out.

He messed up and she knew it.

Jay stayed silent for what looks like hours, even days for him, even if it was probably for just one minute or two. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t notice he was crying, not until he was brought back to reality from Mouse.

“Uhm… Jay, there’s a problem…” he whispered. “I can’t track y/n’ phone, it’s like it’s dead. Maybe she didn’t have the chance to charge it? But why did you need her location? Is she with you?”

Jay gulped, looking outside of the car, looking at everything and nothing at the same time. he was like a ghost, he felt like a ghost, he felt like he was dead, like he lost all.

And he did.

If she really saw him with Hailey, he knew that he lost the love of his life, and all for what? Some sex with his partner at work? He said he loved Hailey, he always said it when they fucked, but while doing it he always thought about y/n, about the love of his life. It’ didn’t make sense, it didn’t make sense for him either and he didn’t expect the others to understand, that’s why he never told you or anyone else, even if he really wanted to after the first time he and Hailey had sex together.

“Jay?” Mouse asked again, worried when he didn’t hear anything from his friend for minutes. “Are you okay?”

“I ruined everything, Mouse.” He whispered at the phone, crying silently. “I lost her… I think she broke up with me… I think she left…”

“What?! What does that mean? She couldn’t have done it, couldn’t she? Why?” Mouse didn’t really understand what was happening between his friend and his friend’s fiancé, but it was clear that something bad happened between them since he heard Jay crying on the other line of the call.

“I cheated on her… I cheated on her and I think she found out… she didn’t come home last night, she doesn’t respond to messages and calls… I don’t know where to find her, I don’t know where to find her to talk to her and explain everything to her. She had all the rights to know the truth from me, but I can’t do it if I can’t reach for her.”

Mouse stayed silent for some minutes, then he had an idea.

“She works at the hospital, maybe she’s there, no? It’s seven am and she had to present her resignation letter if she really wants to leave Chicago, no? Maybe she’s at the hospital to do it, maybe you still have time.”

It was one last hope and Jay accepted it; Jay took it immediately.

“I’ll call you from the hospital. Thank you, Mouse.”

He hung up, dried his cheeks from the tears and he drove towards the Chicago Medical Center as soon as he could; when he arrived, he met his brother, Will, but he was to focused on finding y/n, so he ignored him and went straight towards Meggie. Before he could ask her where his fiancé was, Jay got stopped by Will, who pushed him into an empty room.

“Will I do nit have time for this right now!” Jay exclaimed, trying to go out go the room to find you.

“Well, you’ll have to find some time because I want to know why y/n presented her resignation form on a fucking mail!”

And that was when Jay lost his last hope.

“W-What?” he whispered, sitting on an empty chair before falling on the ground. “She left?”

It was too late.

He arrived too late.

Will nodded, placing a hand on his shoulder, and trying to reassure her in any way possible.

“What happened, Jay?”

“I fucked up… I fucked up and I lost her, Will.” He whispered. “I lost her.”

And it was true.

He lost you.

And the best part was that being a detective’s fiancé helped you to find a way to be invisible.

New phone.

Only cash.

Being a ghost.

You didn’t want to be found, especially not by him and, while he was crying on his brother’s shoulder about losing the love of his life, you were landing in New York city, trying to find a way to hang on, trying to start a new life.

A life away from him.

Away from the last version of you.

[halsteadlover]

𝐇𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫

*Gif and pics not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Will Halstead x Fem!Reader.

• Requested: yes by anon.

• Summary: danger is always behind the corner and you learn to never let your guard down when you find yourself in a situation between life and death. Will your husband be able to save you? Will he find you in time?

• Warnings: mention of domestic violence, stab wound, blood, cursing, Will is kind of a dumbass at the beginning (what can we say? Men…)

• Word count: 5642.

• A/N: I fucking hate how this turned out bye. I’m sorry for any mistake or grammar error.

That morning everything seemed normal.

You treated patients, cured some, discharged others and between one break and another you wasted no time going to your husband to give him a little kiss.

“What do you want eat tonight baby?” he asked. You and Will were in the doctors' break room during one of the aforementioned breaks, only the two of you in there. You were sitting on the small couch next to each other, his arm around your shoulders while you ate a bag of chips.

“Do you want to cook?”.

He looked at you for a moment and you chuckled at his expression. You both had to do a double shift that day so you knew neither of you would even want to go near the kitchen once you got back home.

“I’d like Mexican, what you think?”.

“Hell yeah! You know I never say no to Mexican food.”

He laughed at the enthusiasm you showed, meanwhile playing with strands of your hair. “Mexican it is then.”

You continued to devour the chips under your husband’s gaze who looked at you as if he had seen a mystical creature for the first time. “What? I’m hungry.” You babbled with your mouth half full.

“You don't even share with your beloved husband? So greedy.”

You glared at him before taking the last chip left in the bag and shoving it into your mouth, moaning heartily in his face. “No matter how much I love you, you know very well I don't share my food with anyone.”

He rolled his eyes, trying to hide a smile. “Wipe your mouth you pretty little bitch.”

But before you could reach for a tissue he came closer to you and licked the corner of your mouth, bursting out laughing when you pushed him away, wiping yourself with a tissue from the coffee table in front of you. “Ew Will you're disgusting!”

“Disgusting? You don't seem to complain when you take my dick in...-”

You covered his mouth with your hand before he could finish his sentence and let someone hear, feeling him smile as his eyes glistened at you. You should’ve predicted though that in true child style, he’d lick the palm of your hand.

“Will for fuck’s sake! Stop it!”.

“I can’t! God baby you're so easy to piss of,” he continued laughing like it was the funniest thing in the world. You looked at him sideways before wiping your hand on his white coat. “C’mon give me a kiss now, come on.”

He wrapped his arms around your hips, trying to pull you towards him to kiss you while you tried to push him away by pressing your hands on his chest.

“No! Go away!”.

You continued to fight like children until, however, that playful atmosphere was interrupted when the door opened and Maggie entered.

“Here you are! Stop acting like lovebirds and go back to work. We have two new patients, victims of a car crash.”

After quickly washing your hands you left the break room, following Will and Maggie. You and Will exchanged a look before splitting up to go to the two patients.

The patient you took into your care – whose name you found out was Amanda – was in a critical condition: fractures of the femur and humerus not to mention the small fractures in almost her entire body, a sprained arm that would’ve required a cast, an internal hemorrhage due to the rupture of the spleen.

As you and the nurses worked to stabilize Amanda as quickly as possible, you couldn't help but notice something that bothered you quite a bit.

On her lower back, around her arms, on her thighs there were bruises that were not compatible with the dynamics of the car crash and which based on their almost faded color seemed to date back to some time ago.

“Amanda, did you have another accident a few days ago?” You asked her, your voice low so the rest of the team wouldn't hear you. She looked at you with a heartbroken expression and her eyes filled with tears before shaking her head.

“I'm just very clumsy and distracted, I often fall or bump into furniture and doors.”

Her voice was shaking and your heart tightened, knowing it was a complete lie.

“Amanda… You're safe here okay? Say one word, anything and whoever did this won't hurt you again...”

“No, no, no, no,” she became agitated and her heart monitor began to beep from her rapid heartbeat. “Please don't say anything doctor… He… Please. He's a good husband, he's just a little tired and stressed lately.”

“Hey, hey, it's okay Amanda, it's okay. I'm just here to help you.” You shook her hand and she nodded weakly. “But whatever he told you, it isn’t…-”

“It’s fine just… Just cure me.” She tore her eyes away from yours, bringing them to the ceiling even if more tears continued to fall.

It was clear that Amanda was a victim of domestic violence, she was literally terrified of her husband. You felt helpless, your heart broke for her even if you couldn’t even imagine what she was going through.

You were treating that woman knowing she’d go home and her husband would start beating her again. What kind of doctor were you if you hadn't helped her?

But how could you help someone who didn't want to be helped?

You should’ve called the police, but what would you have said to them? It was your assumption even if all the bruises and healed bone fractures were evidence of physical abuse, but you knew how the police worked, they couldn't do anything if there was no complaint from the victim. And you knew if you called them, Amanda would deny everything and it’d affect her worse than it already did.

You sent Amanda to run some tests and left her room after throwing away your gloves and washing your hands. Your mind was only focused on her as you filled out her medical records so much you didn't even hear Will come closer to you until he put his hand around her waist to great you, leaving a kiss on you temple.

“Baby you okay? How is the wife?” He asked as he picked up her bastard husband's newly created medical record.

“She was in critical condition but I believe she’ll make full recovery. The husband?”.

“He was luckier, he only suffered a few bruises and small fractures. The guy must be madly in love with his wife, all he did was ask about her and say he wanted to see her.”

“I think Amanda is a victim of domestic violence, your guy isn't in love at all,” you voiced your concerns before placing your pen on the papers and looking at Will.

“You sure?”.

“She has bruises all over her body clearly from days ago and her X-Rays show old healed fractures. Not mentioning how she’s terrified of him.”

“Wow…” Will breathed out, pinching the bridge of his nose with two fingers. “There must be an explanation…”

“Babe did you hear a word I just said? We have to help that woman. He’ll kill sooner or later.”

“Don't you think you're a little bit exaggerating a little love?” Will put his hands on your shoulders “If she doesn't tell you anything there's nothing we can do…”

“Will, he beats the shit out of her and God knows what else does to her!” You whispered/shouted with frustration. “She doesn't say anything so we let that bastard beat her?”.

“I didn’t mean that! What I was trying to say is just… Don't jump to conclusions, there must be other reasons why she must’ve gotten those bruises…”

“Oh yeah of course. She must hit herself on the side so hard she left a shoe imprint on her skin for fun. This really makes sense.” You snapped the folder close and walked away, ignoring Will who tried to call you out.

You were pissed off.

It was always the same exact story, over and over again.

How the fuck were women supposed to trust the system and report abuses when those who were part of this system didn't even believe them?

You talked to Amanda, stood by her side during her MRI and the other tests, keeping her away from her husband as much as possible.

You didn't force her to say anything, you didn't insist to let her talk about what was happening in her household. It wouldn't do her any good, you wanted her to know she had a choice, you wanted to give her as much time as possible to think about what to do.

“Whatever happened I believe you Amanda, okay? You don't have to be afraid and I'll be here to help you if you want.”

That was all you said to her about the topic and she nodded slightly before bursting into a liberating and heartbreaking cry. You stayed with her the whole time, hugging her and reassuring her that everything would be okay, that she wasn’t alone.

Yet she said nothing to you, nothing about her husband, deeply terrified of the consequences there might be.

She eventually fell asleep and you let her rest, telling the nurses to always keep an eye on her and to let you know immediately if anything happened.

“Dr. Y/Ln, Mr. Connell's X-Rays just arrived, Dr. Halstead left for another patient.” A nurse had told you as soon as you passed by their station. Your heart skipped a beat, realizing you didn’t meet Amanda’s husband yet.

You wanted so much to let him rot in hell but you couldn't, you had duties to fulfill as a doctor even if he was the most disgusting piece of shit on earth.

You took the envelope with the X-Rays and thanked the nurse before she went back helping other patients. You went to the bastard's room, taking a deep breath before entering.

You tried to hide your indignation as soon as you saw him lying on the bed, maintaining a professional and impassive expression.

“Who are you? Where is Dr. Halstead?” He asked as soon as you entered his room.

“I'm Dr. Y/Ln, he's busy at the moment.”

“My wife… Do you know where she is? How is she?”. If you hadn't seen the condition of Amanda's body you would’ve even thought he was really worried.

Son of a bitch.

You swallowed the anger that threatened to release words you’d regret and that you knew Amanda would pay the price for. “She's fine. She’s doing some tests,” you deadpanned before taking the X-Ray out of the folder. “There are no serious fractures, just a small one here on the collarbone…”

“I want to know where my wife is. Why doesn't anyone tell me anything?” He blurted out, not even letting you finish your sentence.

“Sir, as I said, she’s doing some tests. She was in quite critical condition and we’re doing our best to treat her,” you replied in a flat tone although your heart was pounding. The way he was looking at you made your skin crawl and your heart ached for Amanda and the fact she had to live with this piece of shit every single day.

“What tests is she doing?”.

“I’m sorry but I cannot discuss clinical details of other patients with other people.”

He looked at you angrily. “What the hell are you talking about? I’m her husband! I have the right to know how my wife is doing!”.

“Mr Connell I’m just trying to do my job. I just came here to show you your X-Rays, like…” You continued talking, holding up them again to show them to him but cut yourself off when he pulled the covers away from his body and stood up abruptly, making you take a step back in fear.

“What’s going on doctor? Why don't you want to update me on my wife's health status?” He stated through gritted teeth, taking steps towards you and looking at you menacingly. You slowly took as many steps back, your breathing quickening as fear took over you.

“Mr Connell, just go back to bed…”

“What did that filthy whore say to you?” He spat and you were about to rush to the door and run away when he violently pushed you against it, making you fall to the ground.

���What. Did. She. Say.” He grabbed your hair in a fist and pulling you back to your feet.

You squirmed to try to escape his grasp, digging your nails into his skin. “She didn't tell me anything… I don't know what you're talking about…”

He punched you in the face in response, causing you to let out a loud cry of pain as you fell to the ground again.

“Fuck,” you muttered, holding a hand to your nose and realizing you were bleeding.

In that moment you had a glimpses of what Amanda had to go through every single day of her life and you could really understand why she was so terrified of that man.

“Oh you know exactly what I'm talking about you bitch.”

You tried to get up but he grabbed your hair in a fist again and pushed you with force towards the emergency cart in the room, so violently some objects fell from it and some drawers opened.

“You piece of shit…” you spat as you tried to get up but he walked over to you and kicked you back to the ground.

It all happened quickly.

So quickly that between his attacks you didn't even have time to process what was happening. He was overpowering you and every time you tried to hit him so you could escape, he hit you back.

He pushed you on the floor, picked you up and tossed you around the room as if you were a garbage bag.

You were lying on the ground, curled up in a fetal position as you held your stomach after a painful kick to the stomach.

Your mind went to Will, wanting nothing more than your husband in that moment.

Baby please help me.

You lay down on your back in an attempt to catch some breath but a scream echoed through the room.

Your whole body froze and in an instant everything around you stopped.

What happened?

Was that scream yours?

A searing pain went through your abdomen and a warm sensation enveloped your body.

You lifted your head slightly only to realize in horror you had a pair of scissors impaled in your abdomen.

He fucking stabbed me.

You had treated hundreds of thousands of patients with stab wounds, you had always tried to reassure them, telling them you knew it hurt but everything would be fine.

But the truth was that you had no idea what your patients were feeling, the paralyzing fear, the excruciating pain, the terror of not surviving.

You don't fully know things until you go through them and in that moment, as the blood poured out of your stomach and smeared your red uniform, making it two shades darker, your body paralyzed by shock, you really understood how it felt.

Your chest rose and fell quickly as you struggled to breathe properly. Tears began to fell from your eyes when you saw the man bending over you and at that precise moment you feared your time had come.

You feared you’d never see Will again, that he wouldn’t find out until you were dead.

You needed him, you wanted your husband.

Please Will I need you.

The man pulled the scissors out of your wound which started to bleed a lot more, staining the floor red.

He looked into your eyes and the coldness he showed almost shocked you. They were glassy, empty, devoid of emotions and any trace of remorse.

“When you see my beloved wife, tell her to start planning her funeral.”

Without looking back, he walked out of the room and closed the door behind him, leaving you dying and immersed in a pool of your own blood.

The wound burned stingingly as you brought your trembling hands to it to try to make pressure, but in vain.

How could so much blood come out of a not so big wound?

Sounds of throbbing pain continued to escape your lips, your breathing heavy, your heart beating wildly.

You tried to move and lift yourself up but every time you ended up lying back on the ground.

You were too weak.

What you managed to do was crawl on your elbows, leaving a trail of blood on the floor with every step you made.

You raised an arm to try to open the door. Your trembling fingers even managed to wrap around the handle but the blood on them made you slip and fall to the floor again.

Your breathing was starting to slow down, as was your heartbeat. That feeling of heat that invaded your body turned into cold, forming goosebumps all over your skin.

You were tired. So incredibly tired.

You just wanted to get some sleep and rest a bit.

So you closed your eyes, not knowing if you’d open them again.

Will looked everywhere for you but couldn't find you. He even looked for you in Amanda's room who, however, had told him she hadn't seen you for some time. He thought you were avoiding him but he couldn't think you had abandoned your patients just to avoid talking to him.

“Have you seen Y/n?” He had asked Maggie as soon as he saw her walk by.

“No, but I’ll tell her to look for you as soon as I see her.”

It felt like you had disappeared off the face of the earth, he knew you’d never have left without warning unless it was an emergency.

He tried to page you so many times, to call you on your cell phone but nothing, he received no answer. His mind tried not to immediately think something bad had happened, he couldn't even imagine it, but it was all he could think about at that moment since no one seemed to have seen you for a while.

He thought you might’ve gone to talk to Amanda's husband, knowing you would’ve tried to confront him. So he went towards Jack’s room but he stopped in his tracks before opening the door when his feet stepped on something wet.

He lowered his gaze and looking down he soon realized with horror it was blood.

He tried to open the door carefully, his heart beating wildly as he imagined all sorts of scenarios in front of him.

The door didn't open completely, as if there was some sort of resistance on the other side, so Will tried to squeeze through the small space.

But nothing could’ve prepared him for what his eyes saw, for what he never wanted to see.

His heart stopped beating for a few seconds when his eyes fell on the unconscious figure lying on the floor and immersed in a pool of her own blood. That figure he’d never, ever wanted to see in that condition, not even in his worst nightmares. YOU.

“Oh my god Y/n!” He loudly exclaimed, immediately kneeling next to you and pressing his hands on your wound from which blood was still flowing. You didn't react, your eyes were closed, your heartbeat slow.

“Baby, wake up… Please, please, please, open your eyes.”

How long were you there? Why hadn't anyone notice this?

“Somebody help me! Hurry up!”.

“Oh shit!” The nurse who rushed there screamed, putting her hands over her mouth as soon as she saw Will kneeling down, covered in your own blood.

“Where the fuck were you?!” Will exclaimed angrily, his mind completely clouded from the anger, the confusion, from the fear of coming too late.

“Oh God… I… I gave her the patient's X-Rays… There was an emergency and… And… I-I had to leave…” she stammered, shocked.

Will gave her a murderous look that would’ve killed her on the spot if he could. He knew it wasn't her fault, just the bastard who did this to you, but he couldn't help but blame someone in that moment.

He brought his eyes back to you, only then noticing the scratches and bruises that surrounded your face.

Oh baby what did they do to you?

“I'm here love, I'm here… It's okay. You’ll be fine. Just hang on for a bit.”

One of his hands let go of your wound to check your pulse, realizing it was barely noticeable. His heart tightened in a vice as he caressed her face, staining it with your own blood.

“Please wake up, please… Don't do this to me baby, you can't… You can't… I need you…” He kept repeating, his eyes starting to glaze over with tears after yelling for help again. Dr. Crockett, who was passing by at the time, intervened immediately as soon as he realized what was happening.

“What the hell happened?!” He asked urgently as he watched the horrific scene that seemed to come out from a horror movie. “We need to take her to the OR immediately, prepare four bags of 0 neg, she's lost too much blood!”

But Will didn't let you go, he continued to stay there putting pressure on your wound and keeping his gaze fixed on you.

“Will…” Crockett murmured placing a hand on his shoulder “She'll be make it okay? She’s in good hands but you have to let me do my job, you can’t be here.”

“Will!”.

Only then he seemed to realize Crockett was actually talking to him. He slightly nodded, reluctantly letting you go and watching as they carried you away.

He was in shock, struggling to believe what was happening was reality and not just a fucking nightmare.

He raised his now red and trembling hands and his eyes looked at them for a few moments, analyzing and carefully observing the blood he hardly struggled to believe was yours.

What the hell happened?

There was no doubt it was that bastard Jack Connell who did this to you and an anger he had never felt before ran through him.

He was furious.

Furious because he had allowed someone to hurt you, because he had failed to protect you, furious with himself because he didn’t believed you when you expressed your concern.

He was devastated.

Desperate.

It was all his fault.

He stayed there for he didn't know how long, looking at those hands that until recently were pressing on your wound, the same hands that until a few hours before were holding you and hugging you.

When he finally looked up around the room, he noticed what a dire, chaotic mess there was and it was clear there had been a fight before.

Only then he realized there was no trace of that bastard, that he had probably already escaped from the hospital and with the tumultuous coming and going of patients, nurses and doctors no one had even noticed him.

He took his cell phone out of his pocket, not caring he was getting blood on it, and with trembling fingers dialed Jay's number.

Jay almost had a heart attack when he heard about what happened and seeing his brother covered in blood was awful even if he knew it wasn't his. He was worried for you while trying to calm Will down. But he was still in a catalytic state so Jay stayed with him, helping him clean himself up.

Will explained to his brother it was probably Jack Connell who did it, he told him your concerns about him mentally and physically abusing his wife but that he didn't believe you.

“It's not your fault okay? I want you to understand this. It was his fault, it’s him who did this to her and I promise we’ll get him and make him pay for what he did to her, he’ll rot in prison. An attack on Y/n is an attack on all of us.” He tried to reassure Will. “She'll make it, she’s strong but she needs you now, she needs you to be by her side, I know you're scared now but you have to be strong for her, brother.”

Will was completely losing his mind while waiting for your surgery to be over, not sitting for even a minute as he paced back and forth in the waiting room, waiting at the same time some news from Jay.

When Crockett finally came out of the OR and announced the surgery had gone well and that he had managed to sew up the wound, Will couldn't help but hug him in the throes of joy and happiness.

As he walked to the ICU, he felt a weight pressing down on his shoulders, anxiety gnawing at his stomach to the point it made him feel nauseous.

His legs trembled as he approached your bed, his palms sweated, his eyes watered as he looked at you lying on that bed, unconscious.

He sat down on a chair next to you, taking one of your hands as his thumb caressed your skin. He pressed his lips on your knuckles, leaving a chaste and small kiss so light as if he was afraid of hurting you.

He sniffed when he realized a few tears had escaped his eyes, quickly wiping them away with his fingers. “I'm so sorry baby, this wasn't supposed to happen to you,” He whispered, looking at you while struggling to keep his emotions inside.

He felt terribly guilty.

It was his fault you were on that bed.

It was his fault you had to suffer.

His heart tightened as he thought about what you had to go through and he hated himself for not being able to prevent it, for not believing you.

He didn't want to think about how scared you had been, how terrified you were of dying, how many you had called for him but he didn’t come.

“I'm so sorry I didn't believe you, I'll never forgive myself,” he kept talking to you. “How can you be so beautiful even on a hospital bed? I really am a lucky bastard.”

He smiled faintly as he looked at you. “Please wake up baby, show me those beautiful eyes I fell so madly in love with… I’m begging you…”

He stood up and left a kiss on your forehead while stroking your hair at the same time before sitting back on the chair.

“I already miss you so much you know that? I'm sorry I don't tell you often how much I love you, I'm sorry I only realized now that I risked losing you how much you mean to me. Don't get me wrong I already know this, you’re one of the most important person in my life, God only knows I can't live without you... But I didn't realize how intensely and deeply you affect my life Y/n. You… Damn it…” He finished the sentence with a sigh as he tried to find the right words.

“I can't exist without you, I can't think properly, I can’t breathe, I... I’m nothing. You completed me, you always managed to fill the void I’ve always felt inside, you’ve always been that fundamental piece to complete the puzzle. Just… Please… Please don't leave me.”

There was a moment of silence, broken only by the beeps of the monitor connected to your heart. He left another kiss on the back of your hand, his eyes never leaving your sleeping face.

“I love you so much Y/n Halstead, you have no idea how much. I stop to think about our wedding day every now and then and you don't know how much money I’d pay to go back to that day and see you again in that beautiful white dress... God I would say yes to you a million more times and if we lived other lives I would say yes to you in those too because meeting you and marrying you was the best thing I've ever done in my entire life.”

“I'm so sorry…” He whispered, the words dying in his throat before he let out a silent cry, his forehead resting on the bed as he continued to silently pray.

“I heard you the first thousand times Dr Halstead…”

Will snapped his head to you, his eyes widening and almost having a heart attack when he saw you were finally awake and looking at him.

You had a small smile on your lips, trying not to chuckle as you looked at the shocked look on his face.

“Baby oh my fucking god!” He almost screamed before leaning over you and hugging you in the rush of joy and happiness. He held you tightly for an indefinite time, fearing for a moment it was a hallucination.

He let you go though when you let out a painful sigh. “Shit I'm sorry love.” He sat down again. “How are you? How are you feeling? You need something? Are you hurting? God I missed you so much.”

“The wound hurts a little but overall I'm fine...” You replied, your voice thick and hoarse. “What happened? Where is that son of a bitch? Is Amanda okay?”.

“He ran away after what… What he did to you and I called Jay, they'll catch him I promise. Amanda is okay, Jay questioned her and she told him everything, you were right about the abuse… I’m so sorry for not believing you.”

You nodded feebly, momentarily looking away from Will who kept his eyes on you with a broken look on his face, and you took a deep breath, more painful than you would’ve ever imagined.

Image after image of the attack replayed in your mind.

Of the screams no one seemed to hear.

Of the prayers to let you go.

Of his hands punching you and throwing you against the walls and objects in the room as if you were garbage.

Of his feet kicking you.

Of those scissors that had torn your skin and stabbed you.

“Oh baby.” You felt Will's thumb wipe away a tear that had slipped down your temple without you even realizing it. “C’mere.”He stood up and hugged you as best he could again, being careful this time not to hurt you. “It's okay, you're here with me now and you're safe. That piece of shit won't hurt you again I promise.”

It was as if that hug had triggered something inside you and you burst into tears, lifting your arms and encircling his chest while venting all the suppressed emotions.

“I was… I was so scared Will… T-that I wouldn't see you again…”

Will pressed his lips to your forehead, leaving a sweet and long kiss as he savored and thanked the angels for still giving the opportunity to do it.

“I know darling, I know, I can't even imagine what you went through…”

He stroked your hair, your skin marred by scratches and bruises. “It shouldn't have happened to you, I'm so sorry my love. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you...” he kissed you again. “But you're safe now okay? Now you're here with me, you're safe, and unless I’ll die I'll never let you out of my sight again.”

You giggled through your tears, hugging again the man you loved more than anything else.

“I love you so much more Will Halstead, it's not your fault okay? Please always remember that, it wasn't you who did it but that son of a bitch.”

He didn't answer but held you tighter, hiding his face in the crook of your neck while your fingers ran through his fluffy hair. Your heart broke when you realized he was crying.

“Hey, hey, it's okay. You really think I would leave you? Who would’ve made your life a living hell if I died?” You tried to ease the tension. “Oh baby I love you so much.”

“I thought I lost you… When I found you there…” His words came muffled but he stopped, not even being able to finish the sentence. He didn't want to think about those horrible moments anymore, about the fear he felt, even though he knew those images would never leave his mind.

A feeling of anguish took hold of you after hearing he was the one who found you. You couldn't imagine how horrible it was to find your wife, your partner, the person you care about most, almost dying.

“Shh it’s okay,” you whispered “Look at me.”

He slightly lifted his head and if your heart wasn't broken enough already, it was in that moment. You cupped your hands over his face, wiping away his tears with your thumbs. He leaned into your touch, looking at you as if you were one of the seven wonders of the world.

“I'm here, I'll get better. It’s. Not. Your. Fault. If anything you saved me baby, if you hadn't found me I would’ve probably bled to death so stop blaming yourself okay? Do it for me.“

He nodded and you smiled before pressing your lips to his in a sweet, gentle kiss.

“I’m so sorry love I don’t want to make this about me,” he said wiping again his tears and you both chuckled.

“Yeah yeah, sure, you egocentric bastard.” You rolled your eyes and burst out laughing at the same time even if you stopped immediately after, holding your stomach. “Fuck it hurts.”

“I know you’re so funny baby but take it easy.”

Despite everything, despite the pain, the anxiety and the terror of dying, the fear of never seeing that red hair again, of never hugging him, you were so grateful for still being there. You were grateful to life for giving you another opportunity, for allowing to live, to cry again, to love.

General tag list: @hngbrooks, @alexxavicry, @halstead-severide-fan, @mrspeacem1nusone, @allivs, @omniaimy, @cursedashes, @kmc1989, @klovesreading, @firetruckstuckley

Will Halstead tag list: @rsquared31, @s1lverhand, @novabckly, @thebejeweledwatercat

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[siriustaylorsversion]

Playing it cool- Jay Halstead x reader

pairing: jay halstead x reader

summary: you work with a team of detectives that are slowly catching up on your pining but you both are still oblivious..(just pining)

content: fluff, reader being oblivious, jay pining HARD part 1 one chicago fics general masterlist

🎧: in between by gracie abrams

yourusername

yourusername chicago summers>>>> (i literally stop functioning in the winters) liked by jay_halstead, connor.rhodes and others.

hails_upton pretty pretty girl <33

yourusername no, you 💋

kev.atwater now who's the guy you're talking about in the second picture?

jay_halstead you're asking the real questions, detective kev.atwater man shut up, you wish it was you jay_halstead KEV STOP??

kim.burgess i know who she's talking about ;)

yourusername oh hush jay_halstead tell me and i'll cover all your shifts for this week kim.burgess no <3 jay_halstead this MONTH kim.burgess i'm thinking about it... yourusername don't you dare. kim.burgess sorry man, she'll kill me if i do...

will.halstead please keep my brother, he won't stop talking about you.

kev.atwater i agree jay_halstead PLAYING IT COOL- DO YOU WANT ME TO SPELL IT OUT??

jay_halstead

jay_halstead heard we're appreciating chicago summers? liked by jay_halstead, yourusername and others.

yourusername now i am...

jay_halstead what? yourusername what. kev.atwater WHAT

kev.atwater boy if you don't cover yourself up

yourusername shut up, kev kev.atwater excuse me?? jay_halstead yeah, shut up kev :)

kim.burgess

kim.burgess he wants to read my messages and find out about who y/n was talking about so bad 😭 liked by jay_halstead, yourusername and others.

jay_halstead TELL ME

kim.burgess NO!!

yourusername i guess we'll never know

jay_halstead i'm literally a detective, love, i'll find out yourusername 'literally a detective' says the most oblivious person i've ever seen jay_halstead what is that supposed to mean? kev.atwater it could not have been more clear, man.

jay_halstead

will.halstead appreciation post for my favorite people liked by jay_halstead, yourusername and others.

yourusername i got two pictures 💪🏻

will.halstead you literally forced me jay_halstead as she should yourusername thank you, jay!! see someone understands will.halstead uh huh...

jay_halstead first and last picture are the best in my personal opinion

yourusername agreed will.halstead of course they are... in your personal opinion kev.atwater "in my personal opinion" 🤓☝️ jay_halstead "shut up, kev"

yourusername

yourusername hi :) liked by jay_halstead, connor.rhodes and others.

jay_halstead SDHBAWBEJHBFSJHDS

yourusername ?? kim.burgess i told him who the text was about yourusername awwhh 😭

jay_halstead if i had a doctor as pretty as you, i'd want to fall sick

kev.atwater man shut up jay_halstead i'm not throwing away my shot?? yourusername okay, hamilton kev.atwater 😭😭😭

lemme know if you want a part three <3

[lure-of-writing]

Chicago PD/Med Masterlist

Jay Halstead

Not today

Summary: You were partners long before Hailey was. It didn't help that you were in love with him

Not like I used to part 2

Summary: Finally you were able to move on

Out of love with you

Summary: He wasn’t even sure when it happened or more importantly, how. Like everything else it was slow at first, not noticeable by even the most trained eye, but eventually anyone within a twenty foot radius could tell he wasn’t even close to being in love with you.

Connor rhodes

My Love

Summary: If one thing about life was guaranteed, it's that absolutely nothing about life is guaranteed. Waking up, going to work, coming home at the end of the day, none of it was promised.

[americaswritings]

When we fall | Part 3

Warnings (for all parts): Fluff, angst, description of injuries and blood, gun use, cursing, probably unaccurate policing/medicine

Summary: You moved to Chicago to start a new life. Working as a doctor alongside your brother Connor you make new friends and although you swore to yourself not to let any man in your life at least for a while, your promises fail when you lock eyes with a handsome stranger in a bar.

Words: 6k

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Doctor!Rhodes!reader

A/N: And here is the last part of the short series. The events are inspired by a chicago med ep. I really hope you enjoyed it :)

Part 1 | Part 2

“We’ll take care of you and your daughter.” You smiled at your patient reassuringly, noticing someone moving towards you in corner of your eye. Turning your head you saw a man with tousled hair standing at the threshold, his eyes almost hazy as his gaze skipped around the room.

“Where’s Leah?!”, he barked out, his eyes only focused on your patient. Your gaze flickered towards her, taking in the fear in her eyes and the gasp that left her lips. “Jake? How did you find us here?”, she whispered, oblivion dripping from her voice.

“Did you really think you could just leave and take our daughter with you? She’s my daughter too!” He took a threatening step closer, eyes narrowed. “Now, where is she?!”

Your patient’s breathing had quickened and a look at the heart monitor told you she was about to have a panic attack. “Sir, I need you to calm down and take a step back”, you said forcefully, drawing his attention on you. His eyes jumped to you, anger brimming in them.

“Like hell I will! I’m taking my wife and my kid home now!” Your eyes flickered towards the nurse, giving her a little nod to signal her to call the security service, before you met his again. “I can see you’re upset. But your wife and your daughter are sick. They need treatment and rest-”

“Shut up!” You flinched as he yelled at you, his loud voice alarming multiple people around you. “Everything okay in here?” Will appeared at the door, his eyes scanning the room until they landed at yours, staying there as he waited for an honest answer.

The man shook his head furiously, but he took a step back. You almost exhaled in relief. “I want to see my daughter! Now!”, he demanded, but before anyone could gave him an answer, he turned and ripped open the curtain to the next room.

You heard squeals, alarmed voices mixing with the sound of another curtain being ripped open. “Sir, I need you to leave now!” Will leaned forward to grab the man’s shoulder when suddenly he yanked out a gun, twisting around and pointing it right at Will’s chest.

A gasp escaped you as you watched Will stumble back, his hands raised. “Look man, we’re just trying to help, okay?” But the man, Jake, didn’t seem to hear any of it, his eyes filled with hatred and something that scared you even more; desperation and determination. A dangerous combination.

He wouldn’t leave until he got what he wanted.

“What’s going on here?” You heard Connor’s voice, saw him step out of a patient’s room and move towards the intruder. From his angle he couldn’t see the gun, couldn’t know the severity of the situation.

“Connor, no!” Your legs moved forward at the same time as the man turned around, the gun pointed at your brother. Everything seemed to happen so fast and in slow-motion at once as your body reacted purely on instinct, the fear for your brother carrying you forward.

You didn’t know if he meant to pull the trigger or if it was out of reflex, but you had no time to think about it as a shot rang out.

You would have screamed, but no sound left your mouth as the impact hit you, sending your body tumbling backwards until it hit the wall. Only moments before your feet had carried you forward, but now they suddenly couldn’t take your weight anymore, your body sinking to the ground.

Around you screams were erupting, but they sounded drowned out, as if you were underwater. Your name was being called, but it all seemed to blend into a haze.

You tried to peek at where you felt a sudden pressure in your body, shock mixing with confusion as you saw blood staining your clothes. Just seconds ago you had been standing in a patient’s room and now you were on the ground, your own blood pooling around your feet. It didn’t make sense.

From the periphery of your eye you saw people running. Some moved towards you, but most of them the opposite way. Away. They were running away.

And they were pushing, tripping, falling over each other. “Put down the gun!” You saw one of the security men approach, his own gun drawn at the attacker. Another shot cut through the atmosphere, but to your horror it was the security man that fell, blood splattering from a wound to his front.

“Everyone just back off!”

Jake’s sharp voice snapped you out of your shock and all at once reality hit you. Pain sank in, slowly at first and then in a stream of hot sensations. Tears formed in your eyes at the burning pain and you grit your teeth, trying to will it away, because you knew you needed to be aware of what happened next.

Lifting your head slightly you found the ER had mostly cleared out, only a few people remaining. Among them were Will and Connor, both of their bodies’ turned towards you in a way that suggested they had tried to get to you, their hands raised.

“Just let me get to my sister, okay? I’m a doctor and she needs help.” You stared at Connor, seeing the panic he tried to restrain as he appealed to the man reasonably. Jake’s eyes flickered towards you, hesitance written over his face.

“You didn’t want this to happen, do you?” Connor asked, his voice strained. “So let me make this better. Let me help.” He was pleading now and another wave of panic filled you as you realized he was only mere seconds away from doing something reckless.

For a moment you thought you were going to throw up from the sickness that cursed through your body, but you feared you wouldn’t even be able to move your body in the state you were in.

Jake let out a frustrated breath, gesturing towards you with his gun. “Okay. Okay!” Connor rushed over to you immediately, his concerned eyes meeting yours. “Are you okay? How do you feel? Can you tell me where you’ve been hit?”

You tried to follow his questions, your mind spinning. Instead of an answer you let out a groan as Connor found your wound, pressing down on it. “We need to stop the bleeding.”

Now that he was here by your side a weakness took over your body and you welcomed it. Welcomed the dark, because it felt easier to lean into it than fight it. But it never swallowed you. As much as you wished you could just pass out, the pain didn’t end, keeping you caged in your body.

You didn’t need to ask him how serious your condition was. The urgency in Connor’s movement alone was enough for you to confirm it was bad, the seeping hot pain a further indicator.

You saw Jake still waving his gun around, speaking in an animated tone with Will and Maggie. To your left someone had crouched down next to the security guard and you felt a flicker of relief when you saw it was Ethan.

A cough rose up your throat and your body shook, sending an ache through you. When you wiped your mouth you noticed your skin had turned red.

“No, no, no”, your brother whispered, his eyes frantic. “Connor”, you said, your voice a little hoarse. He paused for a moment, both of you locking eyes in a quiet exchange. “I’m scared”, you whispered, feeling a few tears escape your eyes.

Connor swallowed, his eyes filled with desperation. “I know”, he leaned closer, “But you will be okay. I will fix it, okay?.”

You nodded slowly, needing to cling to his words. To hold onto the reminder that you would be okay. That your life wasn’t over when you hadn’t even started fully living yet.

It didn’t make sense. You had woken up a few minutes before your alarm clock, had been in an oddly good mood as you had gotten ready for work and even your patients had been unusually patient and grateful. Today was a good day. Not a day that could turn into such a catastrophe in the blink of an eye.

This didn’t happen. Maybe in books or on tv. But not here, not to people like you.

“Hey!” Dr. Goodwin appeared in your vision, bending down to Connor and you. “What’s the status?” You hadn’t seen her before, but knowing she was here already gave you a sparkle of hope. As the hospital’s executive director it was her job to find solutions, even in the face of the worst possible events. She would get them out of here, somehow.

“She’s been shot in the abdomen. No exit wound so the bullet is still inside. I believe she’s bleeding internally.”

You saw a shadow cloud Dr. Goodwin’s as she looked at you and it was as if you could see the wheels in her head turning as she assessed the situation.

“What’s going on?”, you asked weakly, needing to know if the others were safe. “Mr. Whitman demands to take his wife and daughter and leave. I was on the phone with the Chicago police department. They told me he’s got a history of domestic abuse and violence. The wife filed a report on him and moved states to get him out of her life.”

“And he found her now.” You gulped, slowly piecing the pieces together. Dr. Goodwin nodded, graveness written over her face. “So what’s the plan?” It was Connor, his voice urgent.

Dr. Goodwin sighed, taking off her glasses and pinching the brick of her nose. You had never seen her like this, so defeated, and it filled you with unease.

“The police is here and a squad team too. But there is no way we can let them inside or get someone outside right now without Mr. Whitman noticing. Right now they are preparing for getting just one person in. Unarmed.”

“What help is that going to be?” Connor let out a scoff and it annoyed you how quick to judge he was, and more so, that you agreed with him. What would another person talking to Jake change?

“It would be a trained officer, who has the experience and skills to deal with these kind of high pressure situations. The plan would be for him to try and talk to Mr. Whitman first and if that’s not effective either, assess the situation and make a move or get back to the team and share valuable information with them.”

You could see Connor still shaking his head, but Dr. Goodwin stood again. “It’s the only thing Mr. Whitman has agreed to. You know I would prefer to get everyone else out, but he has been clear. If one person leaves, he is going to make use of his gun again.”

“And what are we supposed to do now? Just wait?”

“Connor”, you tried to calm him, but his eyes snapped to yours. “We need an OR now! Monique!” The blonde nurse standing next to Ethan looked over. You could see the fear written all over her face. “Can you take over for a moment?”

She gave a nod, her eyes flickering to Jake who didn’t let them out of sight. Crouching down next to you the two quickly exchanged their hands applying pressure onto your wound, the sensation making you let out a groan.

But you pushed away the pain, trying to focus on Connor. “What are you doing?”, you hissed as you watched him get up, wishing you could hold him back.

“Dr. Rhodes, we should wait for the officer to arrive. Right now the situation is stable and I can’t risk-” “Stable? Is that what you call this?” Connor pushed himself fully up now, the movement catching Jake’s eye.

“Sit back down!” But Connor lifted his hands, taking a cautious step forward. “My sister likely suffers from an internal bleeding. We need an OR to-” “No! Nobody goes anywhere!”

Connor’s face fell, his shoulders sinking, but he took another step forward. The grip the fear had around your heart tightened. “Please, I need to stop the bleeding. You don’t want her to die, right?”

Jake stared at you for a moment before his attention was back on your brother. “I just want my daughter and my wife!”

“And we get that. We do. But she-”, he turned halfway towards you, his eyes not leaving Jake for a second, “has nothing to do with this. Let me save her life.”

“I said no one goes anywhere! You save her here or you don’t save her at all. It’s on you!”

You watched Connor open his mouth again, but before he could say another word Jake stepped forward, his gun pointed directly at his chest.

“Do I look like someone who’s joking?!”, he yelled, making everyone around him flinch. Connor made himself a little smaller, taking a small step backwards while shaking his head. “Yeah, so you better listen to what I’m saying! No get your ass back down there!”

You didn’t have the heart to watch Connor when he returned to you, to see the defeat and hopeless on his face. The fear.

He had barely sat down again when another turmoil broke loose, gaining everyone’s attention. It had to be the officer Jake had allowed in, though you didn’t want to know what he would get in return for the favour.

Although you didn’t feel much hope regarding the plan, you trusted the police to make the right choice. This couldn’t be their first hostage situation, so they knew what to do, right?

What you hadn’t anticipated was that the officer coming in could be someone you knew. Someone you knew very well.

Jay.

No.

You blinked a few times, but it was unmistakably him.

His voice. His physique.

A touch at your hand drew your attention away from him for a moment and you noticed Monique had reached for it. Only now you saw you had balled your hand into a fist, all the tension left in your body visible in that one grip. Slowly she loosened it, taking your hand into hers instead and squeezing it in reassurance.

You didn’t know the young nurse so well- she was a little more on the reserved and quiet side- but the gesture filled you with deep gratitude, giving you the strength to look up again and face this new reality.

Jay hadn’t noticed you yet, his whole focus on calming Jake enough to make an uneventful entrance. When he seemed confident in the situation he scanned the room, assessing the conditions they were dealing with.

He did it with a professional calmness you wished you could have right now, his face only giving away his emotion when they fell on his brother. “Hey, man. You alright?”

He stepped forward, avoiding any rapid movements and Will nodded. “I’m okay. But Mrs. Kaden is in a bad condition. The stress on top of her physical state worries me.”

He said something else, but he had lowered his voice that it was impossible for you to understand anything. Jay nodded. “What about the two victims?”

“The security guard got hit at the shoulder. He’s stable.” “And the other one?” Will shook his head, his eyes filled with sadness. “She’s over there with Connor. It doesn’t look good, Jay.”

It was strange, listening to them and knowing they were talking about you. Waiting for the moment Jay’s eyes fell upon you.

You didn’t know what kind of reaction you were anticipating, but nothing could have prepared you for the utter shock that filled Jay’s face as he looked at you.

You watched him do a double take, every trace of his confidence and expressionlessness gone, replaced by a turmoil of emotions. He almost lunged forward, stopping himself when Jake’s warning voice filled the air.

You could see Connor’s questioning gaze on you, but you were focused fully on Jay as he made his way over to you with careful movements.

When he crouched down in front of you, he was close enough for you to see a hint of fear in his eyes. “What happened?”

Your petty argument, the distance, it all seemed forgotten as you stared at him, not strong enough to hide your own fear. “I got shot.”

Although it was obvious, it was the first time you had said the words out loud, had acknowledged the fact that this was really happening to you. It felt surreal, even with the burning pain spreading through your body, making it impossible to keep your composure.

Jay’s eyes softened as he heard your husky voice, the effort it took you to form the words another sign how bad your current shape was. For a moment his eyes drifted over your body, his face twisting in pain as he stared at your blood, before he looked up again.

“He said he’s going to kill us if he doesn’t walk out of here with his wife and his kid.” Jay nodded, his lips pressed into a thin line. “I know.”

“But- you’re here now…right?”

“Yeah, I am.” Jay tried to force an encouraging smile on his face, but you knew him well enough to know it was strained.

“You’re here”, you repeated relieved, your voice almost giving up at the end and you coughed. Jay stared at you, his eyes a little widened, his pupils dilated in fear.

He was scared. For you. He was scared for you.

“Her pulse is up to 120 and she’s sweating.” It was Monique and you saw her exchange a look with Connor. “What’s her condition?” Jay was talking to Connor now, as if he had only now realized he was there.

Under different circumstances your brother wouldn’t have let go what had just happened right in front of his eyes. He would have teased you until you would have told him the truth about Jay and you. But now he did, just like that, knowing there was no time for it as yours was running out.

The thought sent another wave of fear through your body, but with the hot pain and the growing weakness you felt too overwhelmed to do anything about it. So you tried to focus on the feeling of Monique’s hand holding yours, on Jay’s closeness and your brother’s words.

“The bullet likely caused internal bleeding. She’s losing too much blood.” Connor almost ran a hand over his face like he always did when he was stressed, stopping himself when he saw your blood on his hands.

“What do you need?”

“I need an OR. I need to find the bleeding and stop it.” His voice was a mix of desperation and determination and Jay listened intensely. His mask of professionalism was back in place, the sight having something grounding to it in the midst of this chaos, but you could detect a few flaws where his emotions threatened to pour in.

“I’m here to negotiate”, he began, eyes cast towards Jake, continuing lowly, “but really I think this will take a different ending.”

You wanted to ask him what that meant, but it seemed too difficult and you were forced to watch him get up instead. As Connor tried to get up too you tried to catch his wrist. You failed, but the movement still let him pause.

“Don’t go, please”, you whispered, your body shaking. You wished you could stop it, but you had lost all control over it, and when had it become so cold?

You felt Jay’s eyes on you as Connor leaned down to you, placing his hands on the sides of your face. “You’re sweating and your pulse is way up. Your skin is ice cold and you’re pale. I don’t need to tell you what that means. We need to do something now.”

You felt tears run down your cheeks as you tried to shake your head, silently pleading him to stay. He had already risked it with Jake once. What would he do when Connor tried it again and this time he wouldn’t give up?

“I’m coming back.” Connor stroked your cheek once before pressing a kiss against your forehead. Then he was gone, his touch only a faint memory as your head sank back against the wall.

As the two walked away from you they blurred into nothing more than silhouettes. Muffled voices filled your ears, but they were too drowned out for you to understand anything. Monique was speaking to you too, the level of her tone indicating she was saying something to soothe you, but her words never reached you either.

A part of you wanted to pass out. As much as you wanted to know what happened, with Connor and Jay not by your side any longer all your fight had left you. The pain felt unbearable now, as if someone had lit your body on fire and the flames were eating at you, slowly burning you alive.

Your throat was closing and it was getting hard to breathe. Every once in a while you choked on air, raspy coughs escaping your mouth. And it was so cold. Colder than the winter in Chicago.

The last sound you heard before the darkness finally swallowed you was a gunshot.

-

The first thing you felt when you woke was the heaviness of your body, as if an invisible weight had been placed upon you.

You could hear the steady beeping of a monitor, the sound having something reassuring to it. You listened to it for a while, too tired to pull yourself out of the haze yet.

But then the events of the day came crashing back to you, the image of Jay and Connor both leaving your side to get Jake to let them save you. The sound of a gun going off.

You blinked your eyes open, your vision only slowly clearing. But eventually it sharpened, revealing the inside of a hospital room.

You weren’t surprised at the sight, but you still paused when you took in the IV you were hooked upon. “Look who’s awake.”

Turning your head you found April at the door, a smile on her lips. But you could see it wasn’t as effortless as usual and you wondered where she had been when all of it had happened.

Had she gotten out, left to wonder about Ethan’s and everyone else’s wellbeing? Or had she been hiding in one of the other patient rooms?

“How are you feeling?” She stepped into the room, beginning her check-up on you. You let her do it, squinting when she shone a bright light in your eyes. “I’ve felt better before”, you answered truthfully, growing slightly more aware or the pressure in your abdomen.

At least it didn’t hurt yet. You didn’t want to think of the moment the pain meds would wear off.

“Where’s my brother?” April had finished her tests, squeezing your hand. “He’s still in the hospital. I told him to go home and get some rest, but he insisted on staying.”

April shook her head, clearly disapproving of your brother’s choices. “But I did get him to take a shower. He should be in the on-call rooms right now. Do you want me to go and get him?”

You thought about it for a moment. “No, let him sleep. It’s been a hell of a day for him too.”

April nodded, a small smile on her lips. “What about detective Halstead? Do you want me to send him home too?”

You stared at her in surprise. “He’s still here? Wait- how much time passed?”

“5 hours. And yes, he’s here. Actually, he just got himself a coffee. I might have forgotten to mention how disgusting the one from the vending machine is.”

“You’re evil.” You narrowed your eyes at her, chuckling. April shrugged. “Can’t have anyone know our secrets. So what is it with you and the other Halstead. Is he the one you’ve been texting this whole time?”

You hesitated, ready to deny her words, because you were used to keeping it a secret. But you weren’t sure that was possible after today, and honestly it all seemed so unimportant know that you had almost lost your life.

“We were. But things are kind of- complicated between us so I’m not sure where we’re standing.”

“Well”, April walked towards the door, a smile on her lips, “whatever it is it can’t be so serious. You should have seen the way he looked at you when you came out of surgery.”

Your chest tightened as a wave of emotions flooded you. “He really stayed for me?”

April grinned. “He might have claimed there to be paperwork at first. And then that he wanted to look after his brother. But Will went home hours ago and guess who spend the whole time of your surgery pacing the waiting room.”

April winked at you. “I’m going to search for Ethan now. I wanted to wait for you to wake up before leaving.”

Warmth filled you and you had to blink away the tears, touched by everyone’s concern for you. But the mention of Ethan’s name had also reminded you that you hadn’t been the only one hurt today.

“Is everyone okay? The security guard, did he make it?”

“Oh yeah, we’re all okay.” Before she could say another word someone else appeared in the doorway and April left, a knowing smile on her lips.

“Hey.” You didn’t think you had ever heard Jay speak so softly. It made you want to pull him close and snuggle up beside him, be safe in his arms and forget everything else.

“Hey”, you said, trying to sit up a little, but realizing it was a pointless mission.

You supressed a grin when you noticed the coffee cup in his hand, but Jay had followed your gaze, lifting it up. “That’s the worst coffee I’ve ever had”, he declared, “and we’ve only got a new machine at the precinct last year.”

You chuckled lightly. “We have the good one hidden in the break room. But don’t tell anyone I’ve told you that.”

Jay grinned. “Your secret’s safe with me.” Pulling a chair to your bedside and setting his cup on the nightstand he sat next to you, his eyes flickering over your face.

“I prefer when I am the one taking the bullet.”

He smiled, but it was a sad smile, the stress from the past hours visible on his face. “What can I say? You made it seem so effortless.”

But Jay didn’t seem amused, his eyes heavy. “When I heard about the hostage situation, I hoped you weren’t on shift. I called you, but you didn’t pick up.” He blew out a breath.

“And my brother didn’t either so-” He ran a hand over his face. “It’s why I needed to be the one going in. I needed to know if you were okay.”

“And they let you?” Although you knew they had, you were surprised Jay had been chosen. You didn’t doubt his capability as a cop, but just like you weren’t allowed to be on a personal case you had believed Jay’s involvement would have been a red flag as well.

“Not at first, no. But I was very convincing. And Voight’s not too strict about the rules anyway.”

You didn’t want to imagine the length Jay might have gone to, to get what he wanted. Especially with Voight, who didn’t appreciate anyone speaking up against him or acting out of line.

You stirred a little, your body beginning to ache. “What happened after I passed out?”

Jay’s brows drew together and you could see the graveness in his eyes. “He wouldn’t let you go.” His jaw hardened. “Like I said, negotiations didn’t work with him.”

“Does that mean…-”, you trailed of, your heart heavy. Jay gritted his teeth. “Our backup plan was for me to lead him somewhere the squat team could take the shot.”

“So he’s dead now?” You didn’t know what to feel when Jay nodded his head once. Certainly not regret, not after what he had done, but there was no relief either. Instead you just felt numb, like the turmoil of emotions you had experienced in the past hours had left you completely empty.

“And the mother and her kid?” “They are okay.” Jay seemed as relieved to deliver those news as you felt and for the first you truly allowed yourself to take a big exhale. “As okay as they can be under these circumstances.”

“How could he even walk in with a gun?” You shook your head in disbelief, wishing for answers you know you would never get. “The hospital’s head launched an investigation”, Jay told you and you imagined the stress Dr. Goodwin must be facing even now that it was over.

“That’s good I guess”, you muttered. “Yeah.” But Jay seemed somewhere else with his thoughts and for a moment you feared he would go back to being distanced towards you.

But to your surprise he leaned forward, his hand almost touching yours on the bed. “What happened?”

You scrunched up your nose in confusion. “To you. What happened to you? How did you get shot?”

You took a deep breath, knowing you would have to face that question again once Connor was up. He would be upset, but as much as you regretted your action, wished things had gone differently, you couldn’t say it had been a mistake. Not if you had prevented something worse, like a bullet hitting your brother.

“It all happened so fast.” You closed your eyes, trying to recall the moment. But your memories were hazy, the images blurry, only in fragments.

“I saw Connor coming out of a patient’s room and he- he couldn’t see the gun. Jake would have shot him. He- I- I had to do something.”

When you opened your eyes again you saw Jay’s green eyes staring intensely at you, his brows furrowed deeply.

A shadow covered his face, but it vanished before you could ask about it.

“So you’d rather get yourself killed?” It sounded a little accusing and your face fell, anger filling you. “Don’t you think I know that now? But you would have done the same for Will. I know you would have.”

Jay shifted. “That’s different”, he said, but you tilted your head at him. “I’m too tired for that conversation.”

Jay looked hurt and disappointed, but you didn’t regret your words. You couldn’t take his arguments now, not now when you were still coming to terms with the reality that you had almost lost your life.

“I didn’t know you were so selfless. I mean-”, Jay rubbed the back of his head, “I knew, because of your job and how you treat your patients, but taking a bullet for someone else? I didn’t know you were a hero.”

He was smiling now, trying to loosen the atmosphere, but this words had the opposite effect on you. “I’m not”, you said quietly. “I didn’t even mean to do that. My body just- reacted. That’s not bravery or selflessness.”

This time Jay touched your hand, the unexpected gesture drawing your attention back to him. “It’s always an instinct. It happens too quickly for anyone to make a conscious decision. It can be a reflex and still be brave. Because you didn’t hesitate.”

You hadn’t thought of it like that before and you started at him, your thoughts swirling in your brain as the desire to be close to him clouded your mind once more.

“Does it ever get easier?” You blinked, a little scared to be so vulnerable in front of him. “On tv they are fine after that. They are so cool about it. But what if I’m not fine? What if that was probably the worst thing that ever happened to me and I’m so scared?”

You bit your lip, forcing back the tears. But the truth was you weren’t ready to die yet. And coming so close to death had left its marks on you. You could feel it everywhere, as you gazed around the room, took in all the sensations you could feel, looked at Jay beside you. It was all so much.

“Hey.” Jay squeezed your hand. “That’s acting. It’s fake. You almost died. You’re not supposed to be fine right now.”

A tear escaped your eye and you wiped at it, trying not to be furious at yourself for losing your composure in front of Jay. “I don’t know how you do it. Getting shot at and still running towards danger and not away.”

Jay seemed sheepish out of a sudden, no hint of his usual confidence and wit. “It’s my job. Just like I could never do what you do.” You felt yourself smile a little, his recognition making you feel a little less small in the hospital bed. “And sometimes there are- things that happen on this job that you don’t just get over. We all have things we’re dealing with. Even I.”

Now you squeezed his hand, trying to show him you were there if he ever needed to talk to someone. Jay looked at you with gratitude in his eyes. He understood, even without words.

Silence settled in, but it didn’t feel uncomfortable. There came no pressure to come up with something to say, no need to say anything at all and you could see it was the same for Jay, his thoughts drifting.

“So Connor huh?”

You hadn’t expected the question, drawing your brows together. “What?”

Jay licked his lips, inhaling. “I saw you two together. And then today-”, he trailed off, gazing to the side as he collected himself.

“I don’t know what you saw-”, you began, but Jay raised a hand. “Don’t deny it. I’m not blind. It’s obvious how much you care for each other.”

You started at him, rendered speechless as you tried to imagine what he could have seen. But it didn’t matter, because Jay was- “You’re jealous!”

He twisted in his chair, pulling his hand away. “I’m not jealous”, he said, but you shook your head, grinning. “Yes, you are.”

Annoyance flashed over his face. “I just don’t like to be played with.” Your smile faded a little, but the relief you felt only grew as your slowly began to piece it all together.

“That’s why you acted so cold towards me out of a sudden. You saw me and Connor and you thought-” You almost let out a laugh, only suppressing it as you took in Jay’s unamused expression.

“Well detective Halstead, Connor is my brother.”

You watched with delight how his face turned into confusion, surprise and then hope. “He’s your brother”, he repeated in disbelief and you nodded. “I told you I came to Chicago, because I have family here.”

Jay let out a groan, the previous tension melting from his body as your words sank in. “But Will-”, he paused, clearly rethinking something his brother had said to him, “that bastard. When I saw you together I asked him about you and he warned me not to try anything, because of Connor. He never thought to mention once that he’s your brother.”

“You asked Will about me?”

Jay narrowed his eyes playfully. “That’s what you’re concerned about?”

You let out a laugh. “Not concerned, no. I just- you asked your brother about me.”

Jay raised his brow. “Why is that so hard to believe? I mean, you asked him about me too.”

Your face flushed. “I did not!”

“Yes, you did!” Jay chuckled, clearly enjoying your embarrassment. “Will told me about it. It’s why he got so suspicious so fast when I brought you up.”

“And then he mentioned Connor and you figured-” “he said that if I tried anything with you I would have to deal with Connor Rhodes. And it’s not like you two have the same last name.”

“Different moms”, you explained and he sighed. “I should have just talked to you, but I got so mad and then I heard you two talk and I just- reacted.”

“You should have”, you agreed, “but I should have been more open with you too.”

“So, let’s try again?”

His voice sounded so soft when he said it you felt yourself melt under the covers. “If you’re ready to deal with Connor Rhodes”, you pointed out playfully and Jay shrugged, his natural confidence back.

“After I helped save your life I’m pretty sure I’m well in with him. Which reminds me, you owe me three times now.”

You rolled your eyes, feeling the tiredness return to your body. Soon enough you would be drifting off again. “It’s twice, considering you cancelled our first date.”

Jay grinned. “Fair enough. But I’m taking you out once you’re out of here.”

You smiled. “I’m counting on it.”

Tags:

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[bluebirdsboi]

Dawn | Connor Rhodes x Male Reader | 18+

Fandom: Chicago Med

Genre: Angst, Implied Smut | Songfic: Haunted by Laufey

Pairing: Connor Rhodes x Male Reader

Warnings: Sexually suggestive

Word Count: 749

~ Requests are clsoed ~ Taglist is open

!! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT !!

Key

Italic text = Song lyrics

(Y/n) = Your name

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Hey guys, this did turn out a little shorter than I would've liked, but I'm okay with it. Requests are still closed, but you can still show support with likes, comments and reblogs. My taglist is open, so if you want to be tagged in future fics, send me a DM or an inbox message and tell me which fandoms you want to be tagged for, or if you're okay with anything. In other news, I'm still working on the second chapter of my The Last of Us fic and the first chapter of an Anyone But You fic that I plan on being a trilogy. Both will be on my second blog as well as my AO3 and Wattpad, so I'd appreciate if you check those out. The masterlist for Chicago Med will be up later tonight and Chapter 1 of the Anyone But You fic should be up also later tonight or tomorrow, so until then, thank you for reading <3.

One more kiss, wine stained lips I don't want to go to sleep yet Pale moonlight, misty eyes I'll allow myself to have him just tonight

Connor's hands felt warm against your biceps. His lips, soft, yet passionate against your bare shoulder. You lose yourself in the feeling, savoring every second because you know that it won't last. "Connor-" "Shhh." You felt his chest against your back as he tilted your face to catch your lips. All he wanted to do was stay in that moment for as long as he could. The feeling of his lips dancing with someone else's was intoxicating, and you let yourself become enamored with the sensation.

I hold on to every ounce of sin I know he don't love me quite like I love him

He slowly guides you to the bed as he kisses down your neck, causing you to sigh and moan in ecstasy. His lips and breath continue to trail down your body, but you know that this situation means different things to both of you. You want this to keep going for as long as it can, even past tonight, but for Connor, it's just another way to change up his night. Regardless, neither of you cared and just wanted each other.

I swear to myself as he leaves at dawn This will end, 'til he haunts me again

Just before dawn started to break, you felt Connor moving on the other side of the bed. You rolled over just to see him, even if he wasn't facing you, which he wasn't. An urge to ask him to stay started to rise, but you decided against it. "I'll, uh.. see you later today (Y/n)." Every part of you wanted to grab him by the arm and pull him back in bed, but you told yourself that this was just a situational thing. You just got caught up in the moment and now, that moment has passed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rose perfume, low-lit room I'll pretend you'll stay forever Lay me down, ghostly sounds

"Oh, come on. You know you can always talk to the guy." You were in the break room and telling April about what happened last night with Connor. It was still so vivid in your mind, the moonlight that crept through the window, the way he caressed your arms, you swear you could still feel his lips on your shoulder. You wanted to tell Connor how you really felt about him, but after last night and knowing that he's just going to move on like nothing happened held you back. "It won't matter. It was just a one-night stand type of thing, you know?" April felt somewhat bad for you because she knew how much you wanted to be with Connor. "Well, if you ever feel up to it, you know where to find him. Just find the right time." April gave you a pat on the shoulder before she left. She could tell you needed a minute alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Haunt the hallways as he wraps me around

The evening just began to settle when you heard a knock on the door and decided to answer. Connor standing in front of the door frame was the last thing you expected, but then again, you weren't expecting anything. He couldn't even explain why he was at your doorstep, but you welcomed him in, regardless. Despite your feelings, you could still be cordial with Connor, albeit they peeked through when you sat a little closer to him than you should have on the couch.

And I hold on to every ounce of sin I know he don't love me quite like I love him

The night got dangerously close to a repeat of what happened the night before, and what tipped it over the edge was when his arm found itself around your shoulders. Before you knew it, your lips were intertwined with each other's in your room, both of your shirts cast to the wayside, the rest of your clothes soon to follow.

I swear to myself as he leaves at dawn This will end, 'til he haunts me again

The sunlight was just starting to stream in through your window as you recounted what happened the previous night, remembering everything you did with Connor. You wanted to believe that he stayed this time, but you already know the truth. You didn't bother tuning over because you knew there was nothing to see on the other side of the bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @houndsoforion, @jinniemyl0ve, @zoloft3

[sarahmadpeople]

Family Dinner

Summary: Halstead’s sister thought that this time, family dinner would be peaceful but boy was she wrong.

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Hailey Upton, Will Halstead x Halstead!Reader, Jay Halstead x Halstead!Reader

Characters: Halstead!Sister Reader (OFC), Dad Halstead, Will Halstead, Jay Halstead, Hailey Upton, Jay’s daughter (OFC)

Tags: light angst, fluff, brother love, family dynamics

Warnings: none

Word count: 1101

Disclaimer: i don’t own any of the characters and this is purely fiction but based on true event ✌🏼

a/n: first chicago med fic although i’ve been watching the series since forever,, jay and hailey have a daughter in here (they deserve so much),, sorry for any mistakes and hope you enjoy this short fic ~~

Masterlist

~

There’s no Halstead family dinner that’s uneventful and that includes tonight. Everyone’s here at dad’s home for our weekly dinner. Will was the one who insisted on having dinners like this to spend time together after dad’s narrow escape from death in the apartment fire (and to watch dad’s diet once in a while, not that Will would admit that).

Dad’s seated at one end of the table and Will at the other end while Jay and Hailey sat at one side of the table and Alina and I sat at the other side of the table. Alina is my niece, Jay’s and Hailey’s daughter, who’s turning 8 years old in a few months.

Our plates were all loaded up with food that Will and I cooked since we’re in-charge of dinner tonight.

“The mashed potatoes are so good! I’m guessing Evie cooked it?” Jay said, in between mouthfuls of mashed potatoes. I laughed, “That’s right, big brother, and it’s mom’s recipe so can’t go wrong.”

There’s a pause of silence after I mentioned mom but that’s normal, we all miss her. Trying to cheer the moment, Hailey complimented the pasta that everybody knew Will made because it was his go-to dish to cook (and his most famous in the family). Dinner resumed and everyone made small talks with each other.

“I want to eat bread with nutella,” whined Alina and I glanced over to see that her dinner was already half-eaten. “Go and take the bread and nutella from the kitchen,” I instructed and Alina smiled cheerfully, skipping to the kitchen and back to the dining table with said items.

I helped Alina to spread the nutella on the bread and continued eating my dinner. Not even 5 minutes later, Alina called out to me, “I want more,” so I said, “You can do it yourself, Alina”. I pushed the bread and nutella to her. I was about to continue eating when dad voiced out, “Why can’t you just do it for her? She wants to eat it.”

Before I could even answer, he continued, “Sometimes, I think that you don’t like Alina. The way you treat her at times is just uncalled for.” I looked at dad, was he being serious? Was he really going to talk about this during dinner? Granted I’m not the kind of aunt who’s lovey dovey with their niece but that doesn’t mean I don’t love her. I’m rough with her because she’s like my younger sister who can tolerate and even return that treatment to me. It was like your typical sister siblings behaviour. Regardless, it was a mutual agreement that we don’t upset each other while eating and dad being dad, went straight to break it.

“Dad, Evie’s in the middle of eating, she hasn’t eaten since lunch and was busy the whole evening, besides, Alina’s old enough to spread the nutella on her own.” I heard Will saying. I felt myself shut down, which usually happens when I’m upset.

“Yeah dad, Alina can do it herself, don’t be mad,” Hailey started before turning to me and apologised, “Sorry Evie”. I shook my head and smiled (more like grimaced) at her, whispering a short “it’s okay”. Then, before Alina could reach the bread, I took it and made one for her. My eyes got teary and I knew if I talked I’d cry so I whispered to her, asking if she wanted more. Alina nodded so I made another piece for her.

I went silent the entire dinner. Having lost appetite after what happened, I ate slowly and ended up picking half of what’s left on my plate. I felt Will nudging my leg from under the table and I looked up to see the concern in his eyes. I smiled and continued picking at my food.

One by one, everybody finished their dinner and I carried my own plate together with what’s left on the dining table to the kitchen. Tonight, it was also mine and Will’s turn to clear the dishes and clean the kitchen. So while the two of us were in the kitchen, the rest were in the living room watching tv.

“I’m sorry about dad. He shouldn’t have said that, especially when we’re eating.” Will said, starting what he hoped to be a conversation that I honestly was not in the mood for. I shrugged and replied, “Whatever, not the first time and i’m sure it’s not gonna be the last. Let’s just clear all these so we can go home.” My tone giving Will no room to retort or continue the conversation. So we cleaned in silence and soon dad’s kitchen was back to its original state, clean and tidy.

‘Hey dad, I’m gonna go home first. See ya around,” I didn’t bother to wait for any replies before heading out the front door.

“Evie!” I heard Jay called out and stopped. I felt Jay approaching before he entered my line of sight. “I want to apologise for dinner, about Alina and Dad. I know you love my daughter, no doubt about that. It’s not fair for dad to say that to you, after what you’ve done for Alina ever since she was a baby. I’m not excusing him but it’s not like you don’t know him, right. Please don’t let this be our last family dinner.” Jay said.

I scoffed because yeah, I know what dad is like, but I thought he could’ve at least spared my dignity over dinner. “Don’t worry big brother, I’m not gonna disappear just because of tonight. I’ve faced worst than this, and I’m sorry too about Alina, I could’ve just prepared more than one piece of bread and no drama would occur. It's my fault too.”

Jay laughed and shook his head, “Don’t blame yourself, we’re Halstead, what’s life without drama,” he paused, then continued, “Okay, not gonna keep you here any longer than you’d want, so see ya around kiddo, and wait for Will, you live with him,” Jay ruffled my hair and went back in. Seconds after, Will was rushing out of the house.

“You’re so impatient, lil sis, left me high and dry in there to explain to dad why we’re rushing back home,” I heard Will and rolled my eyes. As Will turned the car engine on, he looked at me and said, “Dad said he’s sorry for what he said just now,”

I nodded. I looked at the house dad stayed and thought about the people inside and knew that I wouldn’t change this family for anything, even with the baggage it comes with.

“Okay.”

~

thankss for reading!! ❤️

[marvel-and-chicago-fan]

Relationships Can Kill

Well I have no motivation or ideas to write part three and i also started school last Wednesday so I've been busy, this is gonna be a short one since i had the urge to write something. I finally got to watching the episode where will leaves and that episode was so chaotic and i cried a little. This is also based off before Jay resigns and leaves. While doing this i was researching best universities to study medicine. Even though I'm only a sophomore in high school. (This is old i started school like a month ago)

Summary: You and your older brother Nate get into a heated argument over rumors, but did he know that his last words to you would be so brutal?

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: Angst, Arguing, Fighting Drinking/Hungover, and death (My bad for this)

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You walked off the bus excited because Jay let you doordash tonight and it was friday AND Jay and Will were coming home from their brother bonding trip. You punched the numbers into the keypad and closed the door behind you. You were very thankful that Jay and Hailey had gotten a house and let both you and your brother move in with them.

“Hey Nate, wanna go play hockey with me on the lake” Nate could basically do everything but the thing he did the most was hockey, he promised to teach you so both you and him could compete against each other during the winter.

“No, I'm busy,” Nate said quickly. “Okay, do you want anything from Panda Jay let me doordash some tonight” You said “No i wouldn't wanna mess up your date with my girlfriend” Nate Spat.

“Girlfriend? I dont even like your girlfriend and i'm pretty sure she hates me so why on earth would i-” Nate cut you off and started yelling.

“I WOULD BELIEVE HER ANY DAY OVER YOU, now get outta my way, i hate you so much” Nate slammed the front door and you just stood there shocked. Instead of crying or running after him you pulled your phone from your pocket and ordered your food.

After eating dinner and getting your homework done you went ahead and texted the family group chat but only one with Will,Jay, and Hailey.

The Cops and Doctors

Y/n- When will you guys be home?

Hails <3- Soon, i have to finish this case. Do i need to bring home food

Y/n - No, Jay gave me money for Doordash

Hails <3 - Alright, I'll see you later.

Y/n - Bye Hailey

Hails <3 Bye Hailey.

You closed your messages app and decided to watch some tik tok since you would probably be bored until everyone got home.

Crash, you whipped your head to see 4 men dressed in all black standing in your room…Now you wished Nate was here.

***

Hailey walked in and the house was sortta quiet, the tv and the lights were still on but otherwise that's it. “Y/N? NATE?” Hailey shouted, nothing. Maybe they're sleeping or they're in the shower, she thought.

When Hailey peaked through Nate's door he wasn't there, Hailey knocked on your door “Y/n are you decent” Again nothing. “Y/n?.... Y/n i'm coming in” Hailey said as she was turning the doorknob.

When Hailey opened the door any happiness she had went outside the window. “Shit shit shit, NATE! NATE”

No response. Hailey didn't have time to worry about him; you were dying on the floor and you were her biggest priority.

“Y/n Halstead you do not get to do this to me, your brothers and everyone, you can't, cmon,cmon” Hailey screamed as she continued CPR.

“Hails, Y/n, Nate I’m home” Jay screamed. He waited for you to come screaming and running to him like you always did but this time you didn't, this time all jay could here was screaming and sobbing.

Jay pulled out his gun and slowly walked up the stairs of the house and walked to your room where the screaming came from. What he saw next made him freeze for about ten seconds before dropping the gun to the ground and immediately sliding over to and hailey.

“What happened?” Jay sobbed, “I-I don't know I came home and just found her like this.” Hailey replied as she CPR. Jay looked around your room and it was completely ransacked. Your dresser drawers were open and clothes either hanging from them or out of them, papers on the floor, and all your electronics were gone. Your tv, Computer, Phone, and they even somehow found your burner phone you could use to call someone in case of an emergency where you didnt have your phone because you were grounded.

“Hailey let me take over, you're getting tired.” Nothing, hailey didn't even look up from you. Jay pushed her off of you, not really a push but kinda scooted her away and continued CPR. Hailey ran to get her phone and punched in the numbers to call 9-1-1.

***

“Any sign of him?” Will asked. Nobody knew where Nate was, and his friends weren't telling anybody anything. “No, they have Adam outside the house just in case he turns up at the house” Even though the family used Life360, Nate turned his phone off. Typical of him.

Just then Connor walked into the waiting room. Will knew that face he had on very well, he knew it all too well because he would be the one to deliver the news sometimes.

“How is she?” Jay asked whistl standing up from the chair. Connor shook his head. “She didn't make it, I'm so sorry” “Bu-but you found a pulse you-you said that she was gonna make it” Jay said whilst holding back his tears.

“One of her rooms puntcered the carotid artery. I'll explain it to you when you're ready or whenever both of you are ready. Will can explain but otherwise wise i'm so sorry i couldn't have done more.” You could hear by voice that he wanted to cry but he had to hold it together for Will and Jay.

“Can we see her?.” Jays voice quiet. Connor led the brothers to the room you were in. “Oh y/n, we're so sorry” Will choked as he stroked your bruised Knuckles. Jay stood there, not moving, not reacting, not talking. His sister, his little sister, his only sister was gone, and you were never coming back.

***

6am, 6 fucking am is when your brother came back, hungover af. He looked like he drank like there was no tomorrow.

Jay nor Will was in the house. Both of them couldn't stay in that house with what happened, plus Will didn't trust Jay to be by himself so they were both at Will's apartment.

“Where have you been?” Hailey said. The whole team was doing an investigation along with another team as well. “I was out on a run” His words slurred. “Drinking? You think I don't know the signs of someone being hungover. Nate, your sister is in the hospital.” Hailey was holding back on saying you were gone. “What why?” Nate froze “Because whilst you were gone someone broke in and stabbed her to death.” Hailey cried.

“What? It was only supposed to be a joke” He mumbled. “What?” Hailey stopped fidgeting with her fingers. “It was supposed to be a joke, pay back, they were only supposed to scare her and pretend to take her stuff, they weren't supposed to kill her.” Nate said.

“Hey Adam and Kev, downstairs now, we've got him” Hailey said into her radio. “Nathanyal Halstead you're being arrested for the murder of y/n Halstead, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do can be used against you in the court of law” Adam said as he arrested the teen. “She was a good sister and she was your only sister, now you're gonna suffer the consequences of a Practical joke” She whispered into his ear.

Hailey wanted to be the one who broke the news to will and jay. They did do an autopsy and it did show that you put up a fight. did Nathanyal say who was also involved in your murder for his sentence to go down. 50 years in prison without chance of parole. During your funeral you were named a Hero and an amazing person to all. Even though you didn't get to be a future doctor they put up a Memorial outside med and that was their way of honoring your Dream.

The fact is i'm also learning about the human body sometimes while I'm writing chapters because i like my information to be somewhat correct. 

[sayafics]

Just For A Moment - Part 6

I am feeling emotional, so what better way to channel it than angsty angst </3

I thought I'd do part 6 with a bit of insight on Hailey's emotions, and give a bit more context of that night.

TW: (slight) dub-con? (Depends how you would read the scenario), angst, mentions of cheating

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Masterlist

Jay had caught Hailey's eye from the first moment she had seen him. Her eyes followed his every move and traced over every freckle. So when she was able to build a tentative friendship with the man, she had reluctantly allowed hope to build in the pit of her heart praying something would happen.

But it wouldn't. Or at least, it couldn't.

Not when his heart was already held in the hands of another.

Hailey's heart beat for Jay, but his heart belonged to another, and his heart sang for the same girl Hailey found herself growing envious towards as the day passed.

Aurora looked nothing like her - dark hair, free-flowing curls, tanned skin, a bright smile, and glowing eyes. Aurora was everything she wasn't, everything she couldn't be, and that's why Hailey wasn't surprised to learn that Aurora had gotten to him before she ever had the chance.

Still, she told herself it was platonic - the friendship she shared with Jay. An innocent friendship she hid her longing behind, accepting every friendly pat or cheery grin with a perfectly placed mask of contentment.

She would take what he would give.

She had taken what he gave. She had taken, and taken, and taken. Until she could no longer do it.

Maybe it was because she had one too many drinks, or because the last case had hit her in a vulnerable place she had long forgotten about - or maybe she was just cruel and selfish, and had to have whatever it was she wanted.

Hailey had never been selfish, never had the chance to be. So what would be the harm if she was selfish just this once.

That was what she had told herself when he trudged towards Jay's apartment that night. Feigning panic and using the heartache she had felt for so many months - seeing Jay in the arms of another woman - as a mask to convince him. To convince him she needed him. She needs him.

She had cried in his arms, she asked him to hold her - begged. And he had. He was a good friend.

But she didn't want that, she wanted more.

When she risked a glance at him, his eyes glassy and unfocused despite his best attempts to do so, she took her chance. A light kiss, her lips barely brushing against his own as she held her breath.

She pulled back, surveying his expression and waiting.

Waiting.

Jay sat frozen, shoulders rigid as his brows furrowed in confusion. But he hadn't said to stop.

She kissed him again, harder. She poured every ounce of longing, every ache, every envious chill, every inch of passion and love her body held and fed it into him, hoping he would accept her.

He would mumble against her lips, whispers filled with confusion and desperation melded with pleads of a woman's name that was not her own.

"It's me, Jay. I'm here, your Hailey's here."

The words seemed to have sobered him up, looking up at her as though he was seeing someone completely new. Jay tried to blink through the confusion, but the peppered kisses and light brushes felt good against his burning skin, the coos of praises and promises echoed through his clouded mind.

He wants this. He does, right?

He wants this, she said he does.

So he gave in - gave in so easily that he still lives with the shame of doing so. He lives with the guilt of giving in without a second glance, of not trying to stop, of not trying to move away, of not trying.

Hailey could see it on his face every day afterwards - the way he would flinch at her every touch, the way he would lean away from her when he thought she wouldn't notice, how he replied to her texts slower until he stopped completely.

She had told him it was a mistake, that it would stay between them, and they would move on and be friends.

Jay had accepted, but he knew there was a part of him broken by the night he betrayed Aurora. But the fear of her finding out was far worse than having to stay friends with Hailey, hoping she never confessed to their guilty actions.

Hailey had spoken her words, knowing she didn't believe a single one - she hoped, with every day that passed, Jay would come to her and need her. Ask for her. Beg for her.

That day never came, and when Aurora came back to Chicago Hailey knew it never would.

Perhaps that was why she couldn't find it in herself to be angry as she watched the scene unfold in front of her.

Hailey had been to Jay's apartment every night after Aurora had returned, knocking and calling out to him. When she was inevitably ignored, she would ring and call him, pleading with him to see sense and come back to work, or to at least talk to her.

Three days had gone by, and the team was almost ready to execute the undercover operation with Aurora, when she would assume her new identity later tonight.

And it was on this night that Jay had returned.

***

Aurora was in the locker room with Kim, someone who used to be close friends with Hailey but had distanced herself and become quieter after the Aurora had left.

Hailey knew she had destroyed something precious in the group, had forced them to lose another team mate - another friend, another part of their family.

But why was she not enough?

She was snapped out of her reverie by the sound of ascending footsteps, slow and heavy thuds that had become such a familiar sound she turned her head towards the stairs instinctively.

There he stood, a man broken by the consequences of his own actions, eyes tired and face blank as his eyes scanned over the room. His gaze was fleeting as it crossed her figure that was hunched over the desk - paperwork laid astray in a frantic manner.

She felt a stab of disappointment at the action.

Even when she was there, right in front of him, right under his nose. Jay didn't see her. He wouldn't. Because he didn't want to.

But why not? Why was she not enough for him?

Voight stepped out of his office before she could say a word, before she could pour out all the words running through her mind in tumultuous waves, disregarding any shame or fear.

"Jay," his voice, though gravelly, was dipped in a soothing tinge of relief, "it's good to have you back"

His words finally prompted Adam and Kevin to turn his way, shock tugging at their features as they regarded him with wide eyes - knowing the girl he was pining over was not even a door away from him.

Still, they pasted on a smile, hiding the strain in their eyes as they imagined the possible scenarios that could unfold. They made their way towards Jay, exchanging supportive hugs and firm pats on the shoulder - they would be there for him, in whichever way he let them. In any way they could.

"Welcome back, man. Wasn't the same without you."

Kevin's statement was true, but the words only brought a tense smile on Jay's face - the office wasn't the same without her.

And she only left because of him.

His mouth opened, ready to spew words of appeasement or acknowledgement. Hailey wasn't sure, but she watched with intense eyes as she, for once, sat back and didn't approach the man she was head over heels in love with.

There was a crack of a word - the starting of a, no doubt, very short sentence. And Hailey found herself sweltering in frustration and anxiety when it was cut off by the sound of heels lightly tapping against the floor.

Aurora.

Hailey sat up straighter, eyes flickering between Aurora's oblivious form as she approached a wound-up Jay. Kim was trailing behind her, a nervous smile on her face as she tried to keep up their tentative conversation.

But it didn't matter because when Aurora stepped out into the office, she had all but stopped mid-sentence herself. A look of bafflement spread across her face, and a similar expression began pulling across Jay's, except his was tainted my rivulets of regret and guilt.

Jay stepped back as though her presence was a physical hit against him, and Aurora's face shuttered as she drew in a sharp breath.

It was like they were trapped in their own bubble, oblivious to all those around them as they stared at each other for the first time in months.

Hailey could admit, Aurora looked good. Great even.

Always beautiful, ever graceful, and a heart full of passion that she carried everywhere she went.

Unlike Jay, Aurora didn't carry her sadness out in the open for all to see. It was hidden in a part so deep and dark, she hoped it would never escape.

But Jay, he couldn't think of anything worse than the night Aurora had left him crying and broken. So he wore his agony out for all to see, a show of his remorse and a sign of his undying devotion to do what he must to make things right.

Seconds pass, or perhaps it was minutes.

It was Jay who broke first, a revelation that had Hailey look down at her desk, feigning signatures as her eyes burned and her cheeks became heated with embarassment and fury.

Jay couldn't help it, seeing her standing there. She looked so real. So true. As though, finally, she was more than an alcohol-induced dream, a hallucination, an echo just out of grasp.

Her hair was let out, flowing down her back in soft curls as she wore a long black gown with a slit at each leg. The gown cinched at her waist, and the neck was low and deep. Around her neck sat a gold necklace, and a feeling of deja vu washed over Jay at the sight of it.

She looked beautiful, like she deserved to have her every step treasured. She deserved devotion and adoration, love and kindness, loyalty and undying passion.

Longing began to fester in the base of his throat, a feeling so familiar that he swallowed through it with perfect ease.

"Aurora."

Jay hadn't called her that in so long, always Rory. Just Rory.

But hearing her name on his lips, after so long. It broke the cage she had locked that frail and trampled part of her soul into, it tugged at her heart and ripped at her throat.

Her eyes welled with tears as she looked at the man in front of her.

He wore his sadness with open arms.

Jay had lost weight - though still muscular and fit, he was not the same man she had left all those months ago. His eyes were weighed down by purple bags, the whites of his eyes tainted by the red of no sleep, a permanent scruff etched across his face, and clothes that were too rumpled for her to believe he had even changed before he came in today.

Surprisingly, Jay was just as broken as she was. Only Jay couldn't hide it.

There was a part of her that was furious at that - Jay had hurt her, and yet here he was breaking into tears as though he deserved her sympathy.

On the other hand, there was a part of her, so loving and so knowing, that simmered with relief at the sight of his anguish.

Jay missed her, he needed her. He said she was enough, perhaps he really did mean it.

Or perhaps his words were fuelled by the heavy load of a guilty man.

The thought was enough to snap her out from the longing, which scratched at her soul - begging and pleading to give in. Instead, she blinked, a passive look painted across her face. A flawless mask finished with a rigid smile. She nodded at Jay, forcing her hands not to tremble at the crestfallen look on his face.

Jay took a step forward, as though he was trying to prove to her he existed. As though he took her silence as a sign she hadn't seen him, and he wanted her to.

Needed her to.

But Aurora stepped back with a flinch, eyes flickering with pooling tears as she forced back her pain and tried to remain formal. She reached into her training, pulling at every strand and every inch of stoicism she could find within her body to present an unfazed facade as she turned towards Voight.

"I'm ready."

"Ready? Ready for what?"

Jay's voice was laced with incredulity, his head spinning at the fact that Aurora was here. She was here right in front of him.

But just like those few weeks so many months ago, she had barely acknowledged him.

Jay wanted to feel seen, but the only person who had ever made him feel so was now ignoring him.

Hailey was like a friend to him. He found camraderie in her presence, recognition in her touch. They faced similar struggles, similar lives. It was like looking into a reflection of some sort, seeing himself just as determined and strong on the other side.

But what life could a person live with their own reflection.

Such a life would be lonely and draining, boring and idle.

Aurora was the woman who had captured his heart, stolen his breath, and tied herself with his soul. She was a breath of fresh air, a source of comfort and warmth. She was a listening ear and loving companion. She balanced him out, smoothed out his edges, and evened out his temper.

He found mutual respect and care in his friendship to Hailey, but he found that and so much more in Aurora. In Aurora, he found the woman who gave him purpose - a brightly lit candle, a roaring flame, and a gentle guide out of the darkness that clouded his mind, the horrors that painted his past.

And here she was, standing in front of him. A dream just out of reach.

Was she back in Chicago permanently? Had she rejoined Intelligence? Was she here because of him? Or was it because of the guy at the bar?

The thoughts raced across his mind so fast Jay's eyes began to flicker over every object within his vicinity as he tried to sort through them.

Aurora is back.

She's back.

Seeing Jay's eyes shine with reverence, they were glossy in the light with unshed tears. Even in his state of confusion, he couldn't hide his adoration and couldn't hide his devotion.

Hailey felt her throat burn with nausea - how could she have been so blind.

[solesommerso]

blacklit paradise au! — aftermath —

“You’re smoking?” Jay startles at Sarah’s voice, quickly taking the cigarette out of his mouth, about to crush it out in the glass ashtray sitting on the small table he keeps on the balcony of his apartment but Sarah shakes her head to stop him.

“Don’t tell Voight.” She lets out a small puff of air, Jay thinks it’s an attempt at a laugh.

“Calm down I won’t tell your boss you’re smoking, your brother on the other hand…” Reese trails off and grins when Jay glares at her.

“Don’t you dare.” He points his two fingers holding the cigarette at her with a serious tone, though the smile on his lips cuts through it all. He’s just happy Sarah’s outside, and smiling.

“Your secrets safe with me.” The plastic chair Sarah pulls to sit in front of Jay makes a scraping noise against the concrete. It sounds oddly like the scrape of the dresser in front of the door the night Jay had to— he shakes the thought away, taking a drag of his cigarette and holding it a little longer than normal.

“Natalie went back to work today, I’m officially the last one left.” Sarah tries to sound nonchalant but Jay can see the hurt written across her face as she plucks Jay’s half drunk soda from the table, looking anywhere but at Halstead.

“You’re allowed to take your time, your stitches haven’t even healed.” He assures and leans his elbows onto his knees, a way to be closer to Sarah, as if some threat is going to pop out of nowhere and he’ll need to jump up to save her. God he feels like he did when he got home from Afghanistan, which is a scary thought he chooses to ignore.

“I know, that’s all anyone’s been telling me. I just- I’m staying in your apartment, waking up either panicking so bad I throw up or start sobbing, I can’t even look at my own clothes so I’ve been wearing yours and- I just feel so fucking broken.” Her chest heaves as she sighs, sipping at the coke in her hands, leg bouncing against the chair under her.

“Hey I haven’t gone back to work either, and I catch myself counting your breaths when you’re sleeping on the couch, and I triple check the doors locked after I come home, and I could keep going. The point is, we’re both going through a lot and that’s okay, we’re gonna be okay.” Their eyes meet and Sarah nods faintly before bringing her drink to her lips again.

“But stop stealing my drinks.”

[saragarnier]

Away from you

Pairing: jay halstead x reader

Summary: y/n doesn’t know where Jay truly is and she got worried

Warning: angst, slightly smut, cheating,

A/N: i will probably write a part 2, stay tuned!

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Next part

You and Jay had been together for three years and everything looked good, at least it was ‘till the end of the march. You didn’t know or understand why he changed his behavior when he was with you, especially since it all happened so quickly and unexpectedly that you just couldn’t understand what happened between you two. From one day, he just started to behave differently, coming home later and telling you that he was just too busy at work, doing some paperwork and getting his things ready for the next shift. He made it looked like he was just trying to impress Voight and for a moment you actually believed him.

You knew how much he wanted to become, one day, sergeant and to be on the lead of his own unit and you just wanted to support him in any ways you could; if he wanted to make a good impression in case of a new sergeant, you wouldn’t have stop him. Actually, it looked like Voight was having some issues lately, from how Jay talked about him after work anyway, and you really trusted him and believed him about his story.

Then, one evening, you decided to go talk with Kim, having some times together and trying to explain to her what you had in mind: Jay’s birthday was closer than you thought and you had to find a good gift for him.

“I need you to help me.” You said to Kim, smiling softly. “Jay’s birthday is in two weeks and i want to surprise him with a two-days holiday. I know that he spends a lot of time at the district doing his paperwork and trying to make a good impression in case of a promotion, but i really need your help. Can you please find a good reason to get him home earlier on Friday’s night?”

Kim was surprised by your statement, not because of the surprise you were preparing for him, but for what you said about him staying at the district till late.

“What do you mean that he spends a lot of time at the district to make a good impression? He always leaves before me, actually he arrives earlier to complete the paperwork he usually leaves at the end of the shift.”

You were confused, you were really confused. What did that mean? If he usually left the district early in the evening, why he came home every night after 11 pm, when you were already sleeping?

“Uhm… he usually doesn’t come home before 11 pm.” You whispered, looking at Kim while your mind raced through all the nights you waited for him to come back home, before falling asleep because of the tiredness of the day at work.

“Y/n, i swear to God that he usually leaves at 7 pm, 8 pm if we’re up to something ‘till late.” Kim said, looking sadly at you, while something you didn’t want to admit passed through her mind.

“But… it doesn’t make sense.” You replied, shaking your head slightly. “What does he do between 7 pm and 11 pm then?”

The girl just shook his head, looking ad you sadly and placing her hand on yours, trying to reassure you in some ways. “Maybe it’s not something you have to worry about, maybe it’s just some stuff he had to do or, maybe, it’s just a bad moment for him. I remember he was like this when he suffered from PTSD.”

You nodded, but it didn’t make sense anyway. You remembered when Jay suffered from PTSD because you were always by his side, you were always there for him and you followed him step after step, trying to help him find his way out of it. It couldn’t be PTSD that time, you would have noticed immediately.

He wasn’t distressed like he was when he suffered from it, he was actually really happy and he was usually calm when he came back home.

It could be PTSD, but what was it then?”

“Sorry Kim, i have to go.” You whispered, looking at your phone and finding out it was just 9:30 pm; you had still plenty of time before he could have been home and you wanted to find out what was happening with your boyfriend, actually with your future husband.

“Don’t worry darling, it’s okay.” Kim whispered, smiling at you. “We’ll see each other soon, okay? Maybe you can come at the district one day and we can talk a little? Also Adam and Kevin missed you, you know. With all the preparations of the wedding, we didn’t see you around in a while.”

“Yeah, when i’m not at work at the hospital, i’m around the city trying some white dresses.” You sighed, wearing your jacket and placing some money on the table, paying for your own drink.

“I can imagine that. Don’t worry, really. I hope to see you again soon.” She smiled softly at you.

“I hope that too. Bye Kim, goodnight.”

You left the bar just ten minutes after and you immediately called the one and only that could have tracked Jay’s phone without a word: Mouse.

When he came back from the army, for the second time, you knew that it would have been difficult for him to start a new life again, especially after the first time. Jay helped him and, after some weeks in which he tried to convince him every single day, Mouse accepted to come back at the intelligence as a tech. It wasn’t an easy decision for him and it was strange at first, but he knew he had no better option and working with his friend was something he missed a lot.

He picked up the phone after the second ring.

“Hi! Look who showed up!” He smiled and laughed. “I was actually asking myself when you would have called me to give me the official invite to your wedding, you know? I would have asked Jay, but he i’m pretty sure is not as much involved in the preparations as you are, so…”

“Mouse, i need your favor.” You told him straight away. “I can’t find Jay and I’m worried. Can you please track his phone and tell where he is? And, can you do that without anyone knowing it?”

It was a strange request, especially since it went from you, but Mouse got it immediately and he started to track Jay’s phone straight away. He was actually scared for his friend, he was scared that Jay got into real trouble, maybe with the ptsd or something liked that, but there was no time for questions. He tracked his phone and he gave her the address after only three minutes.

“Thank you, Mouse. Sorry if i interrupted your evening. I have to go now and, don’t worry, I’ll handle the invite in person, okay?” You said, getting inside the car while looking at the address Mouse gave to you. It could be true, why was he there?

“Don’t worry, no problem at all. I’ll leave you now, i guess you’re busy… just, tell me if anything happened to him, okay?” He replied, making sure that everything was okay, making sure that you would have called him in case of trouble.

“I will, thanks Mouse.”

When he hung up, you started the car and you drove to the location he sent you; why the hell was Jay at his old apartment? Didn’t he sell it?

When you arrived at the location, you parked the car and you got out as soon as you could, going up the stairs and reaching his door just few minutes after. Fortunately, you still knew where he used to hide the key and you went for it, opening the door as silently as you could. The first thing you noticed when you entered was the emptiness of the room: there was nothing there other than some furnishings and still you didn’t understand why Jay was there.

Then, you noticed it.

Then, you noticed them: heels and they weren’t yours.

Your mouth became dry and you stopped breathing properly, trying to find an explanation for what you were seeing. You took some steps forward and your eyes fell on the jeans and t-shirts that were on the floor, all the way up to what it was Jay’s bedroom before he moved out. You took the hallway, starting to hear voices, moans you didn’t want to hear, moans you just wanted to be from your neighbors, even if you knew that they were elderly and it couldn’t have been them. Just at the front of the door, you saw them: panties and Jay’s boxer.

Your brain stopped working, you stopped breathing and your heart almost stopped beating; you just couldn’t understand what was happing, you couldn’t believed it.

You zoned out, like you couldn’t have been there, like you were just in a dream, a bad dream, a really bad one, then you came back to reality when you actually saw and hear them.

“Oh, Jay.” She moaned, begging him. “Please, faster.”

Hailey.

Jay’s partner.

“God, Hails…” Your boyfriend moaned, lowering himself on her to kiss her breast while fucking her. “I… shit… you feel so good around me.”

“Oh, J-Jay!” She moaned louder, unaware of your presence on the frame of the door, where you were watching them, without breathing.

Jay took Hailey’s legs and he put it on his own shoulder, increasing the pace.

“Yes, cum around me, baby. Cum for me, i love you.”

Surprisingly. It wasn’t watching him fucking her that destroyed you: it was his last three words, the same three words he said to you every morning before going to work, the same three words he said to you on the phone when he was to busy at work to come home, even if he was actually heading to his old apartment, when he was able to fuck his partner whenever he wanted to.

You stepped back silently, to broken to face the truth, to heart broken to face him.

You stepped back and you left without saying a word, without make noise; you went back inside your car and only then, when Hailey’s and Jay’s moans were far away from you, you started breathing again.

Tears were streaming down your cheeks from minutes probably, but you couldn’t notice it before and you were to shocked to dry off your tears: you just wanted to add as many distance as you could between you and the man you thought was the love of your life.

You didn’t even went back to your apartment, you couldn’t have handle being again in the house that would have been yours,the house in which you hoped you would have started a family with Jay. You didn’t go back to your apartment to collect all your belongings, you just left.

You left a message to your boss’ office regarding your resignation and you drove away.

Away from Jay.

Away from your apartment.

Away from the life you dreamed of with him.

Away from the love.

Away from the pain.

Away from Chicago.

[sande5098]

Hello! Could you write Ava Bekker x Fem reader is could literally be anything with fluff smut and angst.:D

In the Aftermaths

Requested: Yes, by anon

Description: Ava's death ate you up and spat you back out

ships: Ava Bekker x Fem. Reader

Warnings: suicide, mental illness, distress, (If you're struggling with your mental health, please talk to someone in order to get the proper help you need).

Word count: 800

----

The call that came from Mrs Goodwin as soon as you heard about Ava was definitely the start of the end of it all. You'd done so much for her, to help her get better. You had known exactly why she had murdered herself, although it didn't make it any easier for you. When the funeral came around, not even Connor Rhodes was there, or hardly anyone from med, Adam, Kim and Kevin were there to accompany you. You knew that it was mostly because they felt bad for you but you couldn't bring yourself to care, not now, not anymore.

Weeks after the funeral, you found yourself still not back at work. The team dropped by every so often, tried to get you to come back to work or go out for drinks but you wouldn't hear of it. Instead you stayed in bed, crying. You had found Ava's diary it had the most awful of things in it, but it also talked about how much she wanted to be with Connor. Y/n knew that Ava had an unhealthy obsession with the man, probably loving him more than she did her, which was true by the way. She had also found that in her diary. It was that moment that she broke, she couldn't keep anything of Ava's anymore.

----

"911, what's the emergency?"

"Hi, I uhh think that there's been a break in in my neighbours apartment?"

"Alright, and what's the address."

"Apartment 33C on -----" (A/N: Make up your own street name. I live in NI and have no clue of US street names)

"Do you know if the homeowners home?"

"I would assume so, she's hardly left after her partner died about a month ago."

"Alright, we have units dispatched to the address"

----

"Units in the 21st and citywide, we have reports of a possible robbery at apartment 33c on -----" It was Kim who picked up the radio to reply, immediately recognising the home address. "5021 Eddie and 5021 Ida responding, be advised plain clothes officers responding."

Kim gave Adam an apprehensive look as the started the car to Y/n's apartment. "Should we loop in the others?" Adam kept staring at the road, unresponsive for a minute before finally saying no. Kim nodded and stared out the road, it wasn't long to get to Y/n's apartment and as soon as they did they could hear the commotion from outside, glass and ceramic shattering. Adam nodded to Kim as they went inside and up the flights of stairs, ushering civilians back into their homes.

Once they reached her apartment door, they knocked... no answer though it did go silent. "Y/n, It's Adam and Kim. We were called to come check up on you. Let us in please." Adam shouted in at her, another crash came from inside and that was the last straw, Kim kicked the door down and cautiously walked into the room, both of them had their guns drew. What was once a clean and homely apartment had been well and truly trashed "Y/n? are you here?" Kim asked.

"Here" a shaky voice called from behind the sofa. Kim looked back at Adam and put her weapon away before rushing to her friends side, spitting on shattered and cracked glass on her way over. "Hey N/n, what happened sweetheart?" Kim asked as she grabbed Y/n's hands, they were covered in blood, but the rest of her looked fine.

"I...I She... She never loved me Kim, she didn't love me!" Y/n practically shouted and Kim immediately pulled her in for a tight hug, tears streaming down the broken girl's face, "She never loved me and I thought she did. I'm so fucking stupid." "Y/n shhhh please, It's okay, she'd not here anymore. You can get over her, we'll be here to help you, right Adam?" "uhh yeah of course, we'll always be here for you hon."

Adam was observing the room, It was clear that Y/n must've had some sort of mental break. But who could blame her, she had lost the love of her life only to find out that the woman she loved with all of her heart never really loved her in the first place. "I don't think I can do this anymore," Y/n cried. Adam was the first to react, "No don't say that Y/n, ever. Come on, let's get you out of here."

[halsteadlover]

*Gif not mine credits to the owner*

❝𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍❞

🔥= smut

Cuddles & Kisses 🔥

Mine

Caring For You

[siriustaylorsversion]

one chicago fics

requests are not open since i have exams, but they will soon (hopefully)!!

CHICAGO PD

jay halstead

everybody knows that i'm a good girl, officer, part 2- smau, just a bunch of cute pining and the title ;)

[bri-the-fando-meister]

Hey there! I'm Bri, I am in too many fandoms to count.

Here is my ask list, for those wanting to know about my ask system.

-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>

Categories.

Smut, smut will be labeled with a 🔷. I will do smut (granted I am comfortable in writing it. If I am not wanting to do the ask, I'll send a message explaining why, and we can work to finding a way around it.)

Fluff, fluff will be labeled with a ☁️. I will be able to do all fluff.

Angst, angst will be labelled with a 🖤. I will do angst (as long as it isn't to harsh or sad.)

Whump, whump will be labelled with a ⛓️. I will do whump (As long as it is something I can write well, and that I am comfortable writing about it.)

-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>

Fandoms.

Chicago Med. I can write Chicago Med, but be warned, I have only watched up to the end of season 3, so I might not know some characters, relationships, and things like that. I also have a good medical understanding, so medical accuracy should in theory, be up there.

The Maze Runner. I absolutely love the maze runner, read all books, watched all movies. Things should be accurate. Though, I prefer things being based by the books.

Divergent. I am in love with divergent, read all books, watched all movies. Things will be quite accurate, I have an awesome understanding. I prefer writing based off of the books for this one.

The Fault In Our Stars. Same old, read the book, watched the movie. All should be damn accurate.

The Hunger Games. Yep, read all books, and you guessed it, watched all the movies. Accuracy should be good. I prefer writing book version. (haven't seen TBOSBAS movie yet, but have read book)

-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>

Perspectives.

I can write for many perspectives, though I rather these types.

Y/N L/N. Yes, I like the fanfics where you can insert yourself into the story, I love it, don't judge.

OC's. I can make original characters for different fandoms, and you can imagine yourself as the oc.

Normal book. You aren't an actual character, you read it like a book without a narrator.

-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>

When doing an ask, please lay it out like this.

(Categories) (Fandom) (Perspective)

(Storyline)

-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>

Example:

Whump/Chicago Med/ Y/N L/N

Basically, the reader is coming into consciousness after getting hit by a car, Dr. Choi is there to keep them awake, otherwise they might not wake ever again.

-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>

Thankyou for reading, have fun with the asks, and get ready for some good reading.

[americaswritings]

When we fall | Part 2

Warnings (for all parts): Fluff, angst, description of injuries, probably unaccurate policing/medicine

Summary: You moved to Chicago to start a new life. Working as a doctor alongside your brother Connor you make new friends and although you swore to yourself not to let any man in your life at least for a while, your promises fail when you lock eyes with a handsome stranger in a bar.

Words: 4.5k

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Doctor!Rhodes!reader

A/N: Here's the second part :) I hope you enjoy!

Part 1

“Who got you smiling like that?”

You looked up from your phone, startled by the voice behind you. It was April, trying to glance over your shoulder to sneak a look at your phone screen. You immediately locked it, slipping it back into your pocket.

“No one”, you blurted out, biting your tongue. “I mean- just…someone.”

“No one or someone?” April wiggled her brows at you, her eyes shining with excitement. “I thought you said you didn’t want to date for a while.”

You let out a sigh. “I don’t”, you agreed, causing her to tilt her head at you in confusion. “But now there’s this guy-” You couldn’t even finish your sentence, interrupted by April’s squeal. “Oh god! Calm down!” You gazed around nervously, relieved to find neither Will nor your brother in sight.

“I don’t even really know him.” You feared if April got too excited over the news she had just gotten out of you, she would share them with Maggie. Probably the whole nursing staff too. And if there was one true thing to be said about hospitals, it was that nurses made the biggest gossips.

“But you like him.” It was a statement rather than a question, but still you thought over her words. April was right. You did like Jay. A lot.

He was funny, witty and sarcastic. Always quick with his remarks. Confident. But not in a macho kind of way, but more so that he knew who he was and what he wanted and that he didn’t fear speaking the truth.

And he was charming, if he wanted to be. A big flirt, but in a way that you could never be sure if he was just teasing you or if he meant what he said.

And he was brave. Courageous. He hadn’t given you many insight into that part of his life yet, but from the hints you had gotten you were fascinated by his drive as a detective.

Not to mention he was handsome. Unfairly so. Especially in that leather jacket you had seen him wear, although just a plain t-shirt was enough to show off his arms and- depending on the colour- bring out his eyes.

“Oh god what am I doing!” You let out a groan as the severity of your situation sank in. You were crushing on Jay Halstead, your colleague’s brother. A man you barely knew except a moment of eye-contact at a bar, a brief encounter at the hospital and a conversation outside said bar.

While the two of you had talked the whole way as he had driven you back to your apartment- your head spinning with the fact that he knew where you lived now- it had been mostly about unimportant things. What kind of sports team he liked, what the best food places in Chicago were, how cold it was supposed to turn at the end of the week.

But it had made you feel relaxed and even interested to get more hints into who this man beside you was. You had even been disappointed when you had recognized your apartment building, the exhaustion you had felt wearing off with him around.

Right before the two of you had parted ways Jay had stopped you, insisting on giving you his number. “In case you need another ride”, he had said with a wink.

That same night you had started texting, when you had thanked him for the ride home and you two had kept the conversation steady ever since. You even knew his break times by heart now, a smile stealing its way on your lips whenever you saw a new message from him.

Was it possible you were developing a crush for this man you barely knew?

“This won’t ever work out- I shouldn’t-” “Hey, take a breath.” April had stepped closer towards you, her brows drawn together in concern. “He makes you happy. It’s obvious. Don’t blow this off, because you’re scared what the future might bring.”

You swallowed, but you followed April’s words and took a deep inhale. “I just-”, you shook your head, the fear of the realization that had just dawned on you making your chest tight, “I can’t get hurt again. I just started a life here and I- I can’t.”

You blew out a breath, closing your eyes for a moment to collect yourself. “I’m not ready to get my heart broken again.”

April looked at you, empathy in her eyes. For a moment she didn’t say anything, the words hanging heavy in the air between you. Then she reached out, her hand covering yours. “No one ever is. But don’t jump to all the worst-case scenarios. What if it’s good? And it’s good now, isn’t it?”

You bit your lip, nodding hesitantly. There was no denying it; texting with Jay had become the highlight of your day.

“Then that’s all that matters now.” You nodded again, a shy smile forming on your lips. “Thank you, April.”

The dark-haired woman smiled at you in return, her eyes filled with a warmth you were sure made her patients feel reassured around her. “Always. But don’t think you can keep your secret long. I’m going to find out who that man is that makes you all lovey-dovey.”

-

“Hey!”

You almost jumped out of your skin, turning your head to see a silhouette pushing of the wall next to the hospital’s doors. You squinted your eyes, trying to determine who it was, waiting for you in the dark.

“Jesus”, you whispered, shaking your head as a relieved chuckle escaped you once the man stepped into the light. “You scared the shit out of me!”

Your heart was racing in your chest and you took a breath to calm it down, the shock slowly vanishing. Jay grinned, his dark clothes doing nothing to elevate him from the darkness.

“Sorry”, he said, stepping further into the light, “I didn’t realize you were zoned out like that.”

“Just thinking”, you muttered, straightening a little. “What are you doing here?”

“I was around here so I figured I would stop by after your shift.” You smiled, feeling warmth spread in your body that Jay had decided to come and see you.

“Are you off work too?”, you asked, your eyes drifting to the badge on his belt. You tried not to stare at the gun that was tugged beside it. Although it was covered by his shirt you could make out the outlines.

Your eyes flickered up again, feeling a little caught as you noticed Jay’s eyes on you. He looked so awake, so attentive, not how you felt after a long day in the ER.

“I’m not. Actually, Burgess is in the car waiting for me, so I should head back soon.” Your brows drew together, confused that Jay had still come to see you, even if he didn’t have much time. It was so unexpected and sweet that you felt a little overwhelmed trying to sort your thoughts.

“Kim’s waiting for you?” You were still having a hard time learning everyone’s names and faces, but you had seen her around the hospital. From what you could tell she seemed very nice. And stubborn, if necessary.

Jay followed your glance over his shoulder, where you could make out a parked black car in the distance. “Don’t worry about her.” He turned back to you. “She owes me a favour. She won’t tell.”

You didn’t know when you had decided to keep whatever was going on between Jay and you a secret, but you were glad he seemed to sense your hesitance of people knowing and respected it. Eventually you wouldn’t be able to keep it to yourselves anymore, you knew that, but for now you wanted this to be just between you and Jay.

Figure out whatever it was and what it could lead into before hearing everyone’s opinions. Especially Willy’s and Connor’s. The thought of one of them knowing was enough to send a shiver down your spine. “A favour?”

Jay shifted. “It’s a long story.”

“Well, I’ve got time, but I suppose you should get back. We don’t want to risk anything.” You almost sighed out loud, wishing for more time. But you knew Jay was as committed to his job as you were to yours and you didn’t want him to get in trouble.

“Right”, Jay muttered, but he didn’t move, his eyes on yours. You shifted, unsure what he was expecting you to do or say. “Well-”, you let out a nervous laugh, “why did you even come? I mean, if you don’t really have time.”

It wasn’t an accusation, only curiosity speaking. Jay’s lips curled up in an almost boyish way and he rubbed the base of his neck. “We haven’t talked about that date again”, he began and the words alone made your heart speed up. “I didn’t want to push you, so I thought I would ask you in person. And I just wanted to see you.”

Your heart swelled with fondness as you stared at Jay, his usual confident and casual demeanour replaced by what looked like uncertainty and maybe even nervousness as well.

“I came to Chicago to start over. And there are still some things I need to figure out.” You kept your voice calm and steady as you explained, hoping he couldn’t see how much strength it took you to open up. “It wouldn’t be fair to keep that from you.”

Jay waited, his face giving nothing away as he looked at you. Casting your gaze downwards you fiddled with your hands for a moment. “I don’t wanna screw this up.”

Slowly you lifted your head again, every fear you had thought of returning to you. What if you had scared him of? What if you were interpreting too much into this and Jay was only looking for some fun? What if you had already screwed this up?

His green eyes flickered between yours as you searched his face, trying to find hints to what he was feeling. Thinking.

“I don’t either”, he said seriously, clearing his throat. “Let’s just give it a try. Just one date, see how it goes from there.”

You looked at him, waiting for him to add something, but he didn’t, keeping the suggestion simple and undemanding.

“Okay.”

His jaw relaxed, his eyes lighting up. “Yeah?” You nodded, smiling yourself now. “Yeah. One date. Let’s do it.”

Jay broke into a grin, the sight enough to reassure you it had been the right choice. “I knew you would say yes”, he stated and you shook your head at him. “You’re persistent, Halstead.”

Tugging his hands into the pockets of his jacket Jay shrugged. “Comes with the job.”

Then he raised his phone. “I’m gonna text you.” You stared after him until the darkness had absorbed him, your heart pounding in your chest. But this time it wasn’t because you were scared or overwhelmed.

You would be going on a date with Jay Halstead.

This time, it was excitement.

-

Jay was taking you out Friday night.

You would be lying if you said you weren’t counting the days in your head, eager but also slightly nervous to meet him. Your encounters had been cut short until now, limited by either his or your work schedule.

Did he expect you to dress up or did he prefer a casual look? You wished you had someone you could ask about it, but you couldn’t tell anyone. Not yet.

In the end you decided it wouldn’t matter what choice you made. This wasn’t just about him, it was about you too and you wouldn’t make the mistake of changing who you were for someone ever again.

Still your thoughts were circling the upcoming date, so when Connor nudged you with his elbow to gain your attention, he wasn’t the first one to pull you out of your head that week.

“What are you thinking about?” You blinked yourself back to reality, closing the folder in front of you, which you had been bent over before your brother’s approach.

You didn’t see him much at the hospital, since he spend most of his time in the OR, but whenever your schedules aligned, he offered you a ride and you would spend the time in the car discussing your cases.

“Just how I barely see you these days.” Connor rose his brow. “What, you miss me?”, he asked amused and you shrugged, being serious. “What if I do?”

Living so far away from each other had meant you had barely seen Connor. Now that you had moved to Chicago the two of you had gotten to know each other much better and you had grown used to his presence, only recently moved out of his apartment and into your own.

Connor stared at you, obviously trying to determine whether you were making fun of him or being genuine. When you didn’t say anything, a sad smile appeared on his lips. “You’re right. I’m too busy these days. It’s just- everyone keeps asking me to do this and then that and-.”

“Hey,” you took a step forward, a smile on your lips as you nudged his shoulder. “I get it. You’re very popular here. No reason to get such a big head.” You were joking and Connor let out a breath, shaking his head in amusement. “You know that’s not what I was saying.”

“But it was what you were thinking”, you stated, enjoying it to mess with him. Connor’s face twisted unhappily and you almost giggled at the sight of it. A moment later his expression shifted, replaced by a mask of confidence. “Well, not everyone can be an amazing trauma and cardiothoracic surgeon.”

Now it was your turn to grimace and you scrunched up your nose. “Is that what you’re like when I’m not around? Because people kept telling me how strict and focused you always are that I almost ruined your rep.”

Connor smirked, before his expression turned serious again. “You are right though. You came to Chicago and I haven’t been around the past weeks. It’s not fair.”

You shook your head, your own amusement gone now too. “You don’t owe me anything. You already did so much for me and you know how grateful I am.”

“Dr. (Y/l/n)?” You looked up to where you saw Maggie calling your name. “Coming!” Turning back to Connor you sighed. “That’s my turn. How about you text me when you’re free and I cook for us? Because let’s be real your nutrition probably comes from the vending machine and the hospital’s menu these days and we both know neither is real food.”

Connor let out a laugh. “Doesn’t taste much different from what you cook”, he muttered, which earned him a jab to his shoulder from you. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that”, you whispered as you took off, pretending to be offended by his joke. “You’re going to have to make up for it with a lot of ice-cream.”

“And you talk to me about real food”, you heard his voice before you reached Maggie.

-

It was only Thursday afternoon when you saw Jay again, his casual stance something you immediately recognized as you rounded the corner. He wasn’t alone, a brown haired woman, which you figured could only be Kim Burgess next to him as well as an older man with hair almost cut down to the scalp.

He looked grim, his arms crossed over his chest as he talked to Ethan, who seemed just as tense and unamused.

It would be better not to interfere you thought as you watched them, but then you caught Ethan’s eyes for a moment and you knew it was only right to join him to try and solve the obvious tension.

Straightening yourself you marched up to them, forcing a neutral smile on your lips. “Hey, I’m doctor (y/l/n). Is there something I can help with?” You glanced between the older man and Ethan, waiting for one of them to acknowledge you.

From the side you could feel Jay’s eyes boring into you, but you tried to avoid his gaze, fearing you would give away how well you knew him, if you allowed yourself a look.

For a moment none of them said anything, until slowly the man’s eyes shifted towards you. It felt like you shrank under his gaze. It was cold and unapologetic, his icy blue eyes mustering you appraisingly. You didn’t know who this man was, but if you had to take a guess you would assume him to be Jay’s boss. The famous Voight.

Jay hadn’t talked much about him, always keeping his words vague, but it was clear the man in front of you wasn’t someone to mess with.

“We’re here to talk to one of your patients, Mr. Diaz. He’s a suspect and he might have valuable information for us.”

His voice was as cold as his gaze, sounding raspy as if he was hoarse from yelling too much. You didn’t want to imagine this man ever screaming at you.

Your gaze flickered to Ethan, silently asking him for his position on the matter. “And I already told you that’s not happening. The man’s straight out of surgery. We wake him now we risk a number of conditions such as brain damage and stroke. You’re going to need to wait.”

“I think you’re forgetting who you’re talking to.” Voight- it definitely had to be him- took a step closer, his voice threatening. A shocked breath escaped you as you watched the tension thicken, Ethan’s eyes narrowing.

“I know exactly who I’m talking to. But this is my case, my patient and my responsibility. We’re at the hospital, not the police station so it’s my call.”

Finally your eyes travelled to Kim and Jay, their faces both masks of conflict. Having felt your gaze Jay’s eyes shifted to yours, his expression softening when he saw the hint of fear on yours.

“How about we all calm down for a moment”, he said sternly, stepping between Voight and Ethan. You held your breath, admiring him for his courage but at the same time fearing the consequences it might meant for him. You didn’t want to imagine what Voight’s anger might look like.

“We all want the same thing.” Turning to Ethan he asked, “How long is it going to be until you can wake him up?”

Ethan stayed silent for a moment before he broke his stare with Voight and looked at Jay. “3 to 4 hours, depending on his labs. It was an invasive surgery.” Jay nodded. “Then we wait 3. If he’s not awake then, you will wake him.”

You could see Ethan’s jaw twitch, but he nodded slowly, accepting the peace offering before walking off. You felt your whole body relax, meeting Kim’s eyes who sent you a soft smile.

“Burgess, get back to the station! Halstead, a word!” Voight’s voice was as sharp as a knife and your gaze flickered to Jay’s, your nerves back. To your surprise Jay didn’t seem fazed in the slightest. He was tense, you could see it in his shoulders, but there was not a hint of fear or regret in his eyes as he followed Voight to the side of the hall.

“Don’t worry. Voight will get over it.” You turned your head to find Kim looking at you with sympathy in her eyes. “He looked like he’s about to kill him”, you almost whispered, scared to attract the man’s attention.

Kim followed your line of sight. “We’ve all been at the receiving end of Voight’s temper at least once. It’s no fun, but when working with him it’s inevitable. Jay can handle it.”

You didn’t doubt that. But he shouldn’t have to. It wasn’t fair. Sure, he had undermined his bosses authority in a way, but he had only done it to defuse a conflict. Something that could have ended a lot worse for everyone involved.

“I should get back now before Voight sees me chatting. But it was nice to finally meet you” Kim offered you a smile and you forced one on your lips as well. “You too.”

When she was gone you turned back towards the corner Voight and Jay had rounded, waiting for a sign of them returning. Although it didn’t take long for them to re-appear it was more than enough for your worry to make you a nervous wreck.

Both of them looked equally stoic as they walked through the hall, the tension between them evident enough for everyone to keep their distance. You looked at them from your spot at the nurses desk, trying to catch Jay’s eyes to silently ask him if he was okay. But he didn’t look at you, his eyes trained straight ahead.

At first you thought he did it because of his boss right next to him, but when the two of them parted ways, Jay still didn’t acknowledge you at all. “Hey!” Your hand shot out as he marched past you, grabbing onto his arm.

Jay stopped, turning to you with the same cold look he had worn before. The one that told everyone to get out of his way and not mess with him right now. You could imagine he was pissed, getting told off by his boss for trying to do the right thing, but you would have thought his expression would soften when he looked at you.

It turned out you had been wrong. For a second your eyes flickered over his face as you tried to get a read on him, but he looked so different from the last time you had been together that it was impossible. “Are you in trouble?”

Jay shifted, shaking his head once in an abrupt motion. “Don’t worry about Voight. He’s almost always pissed at someone.”

“But today that someone is you. It’s not fair. You were just trying to de-escalate the situation.” Jay let out a sigh that sounded impatient and you took a step back, taken aback by his reaction. “Anyway, thank you for that. I don’t know what would have happened if you didn’t step up. Ethan can be so stubborn too.”

Jay raised his brow, but it wasn’t in an amused or teasing way. he almost looked…annoyed. “Don’t thank me yet. As long as we get the information we need.”

You swallowed, your eyes flickering to your surroundings. “Are you mad at me or something?”, you whispered, unease filling you.

You couldn’t imagine a reason why Jay would act that way towards you. Even if he did it to avoid raising suspicions, it was very much over the top. No, you decided, there had to be more. Because you couldn’t imagine him speaking to Maggie or April that way.

“Why would I be mad? You told me there are things you’re figuring out. I just didn’t think you meant it so literally.”

You drew in a surprised breath, confused by his words as much as his passive-aggressive tone. “What?”

Jay let out a huff. “You know it all makes sense now. How you were so hesitant about a date, that you’re trying to keep this a secret.” Jay shook his head, his frustration turning into annoyance.

“I’m not blaming you”, he clarified, “weighing your options before you make a decision. We never defined what this is between us, so it’s on me if I expected something you clearly aren’t interested in. But I would prefer not be one of your games.”

“Excuse me?” You stared at him with wide eyes, your mouth hanging open in shock as your chest tightened. Something had gone very wrong, only you couldn’t figure out when it had happened and why.

Jay leaned forward, your whole body going stiff as he spoke close to your ear. “I’m out.”

Involuntarily a shiver ran down your spine and you flinched a little, hurt by his words that you couldn’t make sense of. Opening your mouth to say something you weren’t quick enough as Jay took a step back again, looking you straight in the eye. “Have fun.”

Then he turned, leaving you standing there staring after him in shock. None of it made sense, but his attitude had hit you so unprepared you hadn’t been able to defend yourself nor ask the right questions to figure this out. And you doubted Jay would answer your texts.

To hold back the tears that threatened to make their way down your cheeks you forced your teeth into your bottom lip, willing yourself to pull it together.

Maybe it was better this way.

Because you hadn’t even gone on one date with Jay and he had already crushed your heart, leaving you empty and hollow as the hurt spread slowly in your body.

You didn’t want to imagine the pain, if you had fully opened yourself up to him and he had rejected you. The heartbreak seemed unbearable.

But then why did it hurt so much already?

-

Needless to say you had been in a bad mood since your encounter with Jay at the hospital. He hadn’t texted or called you after that and you hadn’t done so either, not ready to hear his distanced voice again, his usually sparkling green eyes now hard when he looked at you.

Maybe he had heard what had brought you to Chicago and decided he wasn’t interested in dealing with someone like you, but you couldn’t imagine who he should have known from. And it didn’t seem like Jay to judge you.

It all seemed so out of nowhere, like something had changed between you from one day to the next. Maybe the signs had always been there and you had been too naive and overlooked them.

A part of you wanted to ask Will about his brother, if anything had happened he knew about, but whenever you decided to do it, you changed your mind again. Because Will had never mentioned Jay to you after you had brought him up that one time so he probably didn’t know anything about you and him at all.

But you missed him.

Missed his witty messages, updates from his day and questions about yours. They had given you something to look forward to in your day. Something that brought you joy and made you feel special. Now that it was over you were still checking your phone, your heart longing for a text from him.

Anything that showed you he still cared.

Tags:

PERMANENT

@capkilljoy @fairytalesforever @hamartocado @choke-me-sweet-pea @sleepinginthegarden7 @thenoddingbunny-blog @ttalisa  @hallecarey1 @Not-jay-c @sunwardsss @writingrem-blog @the-pink-petite-princess @wanniiieeee @part-time-patronus @unnuevosoltransformalarealidad  @theshortegg @not-reptilian @msdrpreist @alisonhepps @hallecarey1  @thatfangirl42 @dustyinkpages @ellabellabus07 @iluvjj  @wayward-hunter  @sweet-texas-girl @rosie-posie08 @ @olsensnpm  @meyocoko  @alexxavicry @shhh423  @dumb-fawkin-bitch @jayyeahthatsme @savagemickey03  @alexxavicry @partiallypearl @earthtolottie  @gisobsessedwithfanfiction  @navs-bhat  @AlohaStitch_626 @multi-fandom-lover7667 @esposadomd

ONE CHICAGO

@alldaysdreamers  @krswrites @oosnapitskat @okiegirl24  @mads-weasley  @nyx2021 @human01sposts @wanniiieeee @dustyinkpages @randomwriter1021 @cosmic-psychickitty @smoothdogsgirl @yyourmotherr  @luckyladycreator2  @penguins0527 @rippl3s @sande5098 @freyathehuntress @sorry-i-spaced   @narnianaos @jtxox01  @captainjoongiekissme @killerrbunnii @randomhoex @mrspeacem1nusone @thesithdiaries @cosmicwintr @fdl305  @insane-fangirl @thaliadoesthingd @crazy4pennywise@morks-watermelon  @automaticpeachsong @arialikestea @lanea-1 @hoeshii  @multi-fandom-lover7667  @mrsjna @toohighhopes @caroldanverwife @Kanji_Chikara @chsatlntic @halstead-severide-fan @halsteadloversworld @mrspeacem1nusone @durandingers

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Please let me know what you think :)