#chewing on him like a dog with a stick by the way. Brain Worms. <3< /div>
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guy who was fundamentally changed when sherlock said "I have never loved"
#omens#his lack of romantic relationships was probably to emphasise his clinical logical nature but consider: he is just like me fr <3#chewing on him like a dog with a stick by the way. Brain Worms. <3#kind of a shame that i haven't really seen adaptations or pastiches or whatever that portray his aromanticism in like. Normal Ways.#if you guys have any recommendations of general sherlock media please tell me by the way <3#i also have thoughts on johnlock bee tee double u here are some of my non-mutually exclusive Takes on them <3:#a) queerplatonic partners <3 i don't think they would label it that because it's obviously a very modern term but yeah that's the Vibe <3#they are besties 5ever do not separate them. et cetera <3#b) sherlock keeps noticing signs of infatuation from john but keeps ignoring/forgetting that john has a crush on him because it's not#relevant to Solving Crime. that's a problem for future sherlock <3#c) sherlock tries to fall in love with john. you can imagine how well that goes <3.#d) future sherlock has a problem.#i suppose this is just fanfiction now. if someone doesn't write this i will simply think about writing it then never post it <3#i have to mention i think it's good and valid to interpret their relationship as romantic by the way i simply like it when aromanticism <3#SORRY FOR TYPING OUT THIS WHOLE THING BY THE WAY. LOOK AT MY OPINIONS BOY.
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Păpuşă (Part 3)
Read Part 1 Part 2
A/N: Fic Friday is back!
Pietro Maximoff liked to get on your nerves and he was good at it because you were annoyed simply at his mere presence. Now Steve has sent the pair of you on an undercover mission as husband and wife. But the mission may have been more complicated then intended, for more than one reason.
Pairing: Pietro x Reader Warnings: language, angst, kidnap Words: 1,800
3 years ago
Pietro Maximoff was accustomed to attractive women, but something felt different about the one who glided across his line of sight. Y/H/C peaked out from your winter hat, tendrils framing your face. A look of ease in your eyes as you changed direction in a split second, weaving in and out of other not so graceful skaters.
"Piet," the voice of his twin sister pulling his eyes away from you. Wanda struggled to stay upright on the ice.
"You know, for someone with superpowers, you can't skate to save your life." Pietro closed the few feet between them and steadied her. She narrowed his eyes at him.
"And you can?"
"I can at least stand, dear sister. Where did Vision go?" Pietro took her hands and pulled her with him around the rink.
"To get hot chocolate, I'm afraid the line is probably long. He's already been gone for ten minutes."
"He'll be fine, he is the most patient of us all." He reassured Wanda in their native tongue.
You skated into his vision once again, accelerating across open space before throwing yourself into the air and landing perfectly on one foot.
Pietro halted and Wanda stumbled back into you.
You quickly caught her and flashed her a sheepish smile. "Sorry, didn't mean to invade your space. I get carried away on the ice."
"No, no. It was my idiot brother's fault, he should be the one to apologize." Wanda gave Pietro a withering look.
Your Y/E/C landed on the speedster for the first time and a small breath caught in your throat. The smirk that seemed to be at home on his face invited you in as he regarded you with intrigue.
"I'm Wanda, and this is Pietro." Wanda stepped to the side to allow Pietro into the conversation, leaving the space in between the pair of you open. He offered out his hand.
"I'm Y/N." You took it, his hand engulfing your own.
“It is… nice to me you, Y/N.” Your name rolling off his tongue sent a thrill through you.
“Hot chocolate?” Vision floated into the group, balancing 3 Styrofoam cups in hand. You recognized the android.
Adrenaline shot through you when you realized who the siblings were associated with. You had been careless coming to New York City. The Avengers had been beginning to target your assignment when you had escaped. They must have known you worked for the Rambovas. Now they were here to get you.
“Long line?” Wand inquired as she plucked the cup from the top.
“I probably could have gone to your favorite coffee shop on the other side of town and it would have been quicker.” Vision passed another cup to Pietro. Vision’s attention turned to you, literally frozen on the spot. You had iced yourself into the skates and onto the rink. “Um, sorry, my apologies. I’m Vision.” He gave an awkward wave.
“I-I ha-have to go.” Maybe they weren’t here for you, but you weren’t going to stick around to find out. There was a loud shatter as you yanked yourself of the rink, cracking the ice around you.
“Wait!“ Pietro made to dart after you, but Wanda held him back. She looked from the fractured ice to Vision.
“That’s not normal.”
Vision frowned. “Indeed, we will bring it up with the team as soon as we get back. We should be able to track her down.”
****
Now
A neat stack of books on your desk by the same author piqued Pietro’s interest. The spines were cracked and frayed like you had read them a million times. Pietro knew you liked to read, but he had never seen you read this series.
He glanced behind his shoulder to your sleeping form, counting your deep breaths to make sure you were not pretending to get out having to explain your past to Pietro. He had pushed you for more information, but you insisted you needed to sleep off whatever they had injected the pair of you with.
“I have nothing else better to do,” he murmured to himself. Pietro grabbed the book off the top, he knew you would have put them in order. The memory of you moving into his room and meticulously organizing your bookshelf was bittersweet. You had trusted him completely and the way you openly adored him made his stomach churn with regret. The past year had only been scowls and annoyance. But it was an improvement from your empty eyes.
Pietro sat on the floor in a corner of the room, keeping you in his line of sight. With a heavy sigh at yours and his predicament, he opened the book to try and not think about it for the time being.
It was an easy read, even for Pietro whose English reading skills still weren’t the greatest. The books seemed to be written for young teen girls, that was what he could glean from the first few chapters. The main character was a 16-year-old girl pulled into a world of teens with special abilities being used as spies. The fifth chapter had him physically pause.
“Y/N Y/L/N?” he traced your name with his finger, trying to make sense of it. Your name was a character in the book. He read further. She was a 16-year-old, experienced spy for the Government, abilities she would not disclose, and closed off to the main character. Suspicion wormed into Pietro’s brain. What was the likelihood you coincidently shared a name with a character in the book who was almost the equivalent of your real life? You weren’t closed off, at least when you and Pietro were speaking terms, and he was very much aware of your abilities. From both a positive and negative receiving end. But you had abilities and worked for someone before the Avengers. Was Y/N even your name? Why had you never told him about any of this?
The suspicion only grew the more he read on. Personality-wise, as Pietro knew you, you didn’t share much in common with the character. But stylistically as she was described and some of her common phrases were too familiar.
You began to stir, still feeling a slight numbness from the sedative. A groan escaped your lips as you pushed yourself up, they had not been gentle transporting your body.
“Piet…ro?” You silently cussed yourself out for almost using his pet name, but not seeing him upon waking up stoked a level of concern you had suppressed.
“Down here.” His tone was flat and clipped. You looked over to the corner of your room by your closet. He met your eyes with a level gaze and he frowned at you. “Care to explain something to me?” He held up a book, his thumb holding his place in the book. He had already read about half of it.
Dread washed over you, but you kept a calm demeanor. “My favorite book as a kid? What about it?”
“Don’t play dumb, Y/N. If that’s even your name.” He dog eared his page, you had to stop from yelling at him for doing that, because that was not an argument he would want to entertain. Pietro’s eyes had narrowed in on you and he was going to focus on what he wanted to.
“Y/N is my name. It’s the only name I’ve known.” That wasn’t a lie.
“You’re omitting, omitting is lying, remember?” Pietro used your own words against you. Goddammit, sometimes he was too good at reading you.
“Oh, I remember. You want to bring that up, right now?” You rose an eyebrow, you didn’t want to bring it up either, but if it distracted from the line of questioning you would stomach it.
“Something tells me you have been hiding something bigger since I met you on day one.” He threw the book back on your desk and closed the distance between you.
“Bigger than you sticking your—” You started to snark.
“Y/N! I am not having this conversation again. I’ve profusely apologized for it and admitted my mistake. We’re talking about you, not me, right now.”
“I don’t know what you want to know!”
Pietro threw his arms up and gestured wildly around the room. “Everything! What have you not told me? What have you not told the team?”
“I didn’t think it mattered!” You defended yourself.
“Didn’t think it mattered? It got us captured. You said you went to boarding school.”
“Technically it is a school and everyone boards here at one point or another.”
“Wow, so I get my ass chewed out by you for omitting, but this whole time y—” Pietro was interrupted by the beeping of your door.
You tensed as Moreau stepped into the room. “Trouble in paradise?” He smirked at you. “You didn’t tell your poor hubby about your accomplishments here at the academy? You’re not ashamed of your family, now are you?”
“You are not my family,” you hissed.
“Tsk-tsk, that’s not a nice thing to say. We grew up together.” Moreau tossed a bag of clothes at you. “Get changed, both of you. The Baroness would like to meet you, Mr. Maximoff.”
Moreau turned on his heel to leave but paused in the doorway. “You better hope she’s in a good mood.”
He just the door, leaving a small crack and you pulled Pietro to you. Your lips hovering near his.
“Y/N, what are—”
“Sh,” you whispered as quiet as you possibly could, “Moreau is probably listening in, possibly spying. Go along with whatever I say from now on. We are married, we met when you were still with Hydra undergoing experimentation, you proposed at the Rockefeller center when we were ice skating—”
“That’s where we met—”
“I know, I know, just…trust me. Okay? Can you do that? I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“You don’t?” A small smirk appeared on his.
“Not the right time. Do you trust me?”
“I always have until now. But yes,” he nodded and gently kissed you. “We got married on my parents’ anniversary, October twenty-third, in Central Park with just the team around. The leaves were changing, the air was crisp, and you looked beautiful in your dress, sexy even. Goosebumps covered your skin, not from your exposed back and cold, of course, but from the rush of getting to marry me—”
“Slightly smug, but I will let it pass,” you murmured, “Continue?”
“We held a dinner at that hipster Biergarten you love, drank hot apple cider mixed with whiskey, and instead of wedding cake, we had donuts. As we danced, I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to have married a woman as beautiful, smart, and cunning as you.”
You sucked in a shaky breath; his words had brought life to a film in your head. Pietro had thought about this before, and it hurt that it had never gotten to be his reality.
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The Wonders of Sleep - You are a Nightmare (4/5)
Summary: Remus is in another chaotic frenzy and refuses to calm down, so Virgil has to step in and convince the Dark Creativity that sleep can be fun too. At least Thomas well get to rest with this.
Tags: Remus things! Talks about murder, death, violence, inflicting pain etc on others/self (your basic favourites in intrusive thoughts), weapons, brutality, Remus, virgil, dukexiety, the duke of nonsense and bullshit, caps, angery remus, moth man/ rat man mentions, sexual innuendo, food, (eating) worms, plants, weird living conditions, disgusting room description, absolute chaos, caring about thomas, mutual care, fluff, domestic fluff, swearwords, lotsa cursing, dismissive nicknames, self harm (mention)
Tumblr : 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 . Ao3: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / all.
My KoFi - Support me ♥ or Commission me
Story under the cut: (<2k)
A gargantuan mace hit the ground, sending splitting stones and other pieces of damaged ground flying through the heart of the imagination.
“KILL HIM, I SAY!”
Dark Creativity screeched into the air. He ripped the mace out of the ground with great effort and immediately struck the ground with a loud war scream.
His deafening screams and yells filled the vast emptiness of the mindscape. Other than that, the slightly more silent noise of Remus consistently breaking and devastating the rocks and mountains of the desert he was in.
“Thomas just needs to get a simple baseball bat and SMASH HIS SKULL IN!”
Remus repeated his motion of shattering the bleeding ground as he hurled his mace out and behind his back for the maximum amount of swinging power science would give him.
“No more PAY! No more BILLS!”
He worked the mace down into the ground, his whole body following the movement. His upper body went down with the large weapon and stopped just shy of the unsteady ground, splitting it.
A growl could be heard. It erupted from the depths of the ground could as the dark floor slowly drove itself away from one another in two halves.
The Duke’s rage had halved the currently imagined world.
He freed his mace and brought it back to his chest. One of his hands brushed over the end of it, the one without stabby spikes! Still a pretty side, to Remus.
A little light bubble, dark pink, grew at said end with a bit of distance to the stick-part itself.
Remus shook the mace, letting the spikes give way to nothing but a long, black stick. Once the hurty spikes were gone, he YEETED the consistently expanding bubble in front of him and repeated.
“KILL HIM!”
The bubble manifested itself in the air, sticking to the invisible laws of the Duke’s whimsy. Slowly, a picture started to fade onto the dark background. Thomas could be seen, holding a bat. It was just as Remus had predicted.
The scene became crystal clear and with a simple snip of his fingers, Thomas moved as if trapped in the gifset of a violent mind. He bashed into his head, again, again, again and again as Remus chanted in moral support.
“GO! YES! GO! AGAIN! MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE-”
“Remus.”
The Imagination shifted at once, the bubbling magma morphing into a small river while the dark ground, the stones and rocks and destruction turned into a field of grass.
While the air remained heavy, the bubble popped and Remus’ stick became nothing but an elegant twig.
“Why are you up so late?”
Creativity growled in response and shook his body like a wet dog. His flouncy outfit floated as if in timelapse.
“Why are you up so late? Stop asking me silly questions. I am creating.”
Virgil hopped over the small river and turned to look directly at the raging side.
“You look as if you are pouting”, he stated calmly, much like Logan would, “what got ya stinki mood up, poopy boy?”
Remus glared back at the smaller side and cleared his throat. He bowed to pick up his twig.
“My mace.”
That was definitely a pout. Remus’ lips were pursed into a pout, even his words seemed to pout despite his sentence being so short of them.
The mustache seemed to stretch his face into a long, sad face. Maybe he was actually manipulating his appearance, maybe the facial hair really put an extra emphasis after all.
“You are the Duke of Creativity. If you want it back, you do that. Now, how about we give this financial discussion a break and fucking chill for a minute.”
Remus threw the twig away and shook his head, arms crossed in front of his chest.
“Yeah, you would like that. How about Thomathy here gets it on with a hot dude and I will shut up?”
Virgil rolled his eyes.
“We could eat that cockroach Thomathy squished this morning! I will get it from the trash!”
The Duke started running for time before the other could even react. Anxiety kicked in, shifting the imagination in a way, they found themselves in Remus’ messy bedroom.
A huge vine came out of the closet and ended mid-room before the bed.. or whatever one wanted to call the mess of clothing. There was a glowing blue trail of splatter on the floor. Weapons and.. hair??? were cluttered all over the floor.
Virgil could hear a distant slapping of meat.
The floorboards seemed rather loose and rattled.
“My room! ROOM ROOM ROOM!”
Remus drew Virgil close.
“Emo! Look at my plant! It is really cute! It will love you!”
Virgil clung to the ever-changing mess of ideas and shook his head.
“I want to sleep, Remus. Shut up and go to sleep with me. You can wreck havoc and reek tomorrow but Thomas needs to sleep or else he will be shit in the morning.”
The man in question bounced.
“If I make Thomathy beat up himself, he will look like shit for sure!!!”
The emo rolled his eyes and nudged Remus towards the bed. He had not even expected the room to look as bad. Maybe he should have taken this to the living-room or literally any space that had a comfortable ground to lay on. He was a metaphysical being who could not really perceive pain after all - the choice to sleep was really just allowing Thomas to deal with things more calmly, at least in the case of Anxiety. Also, only given that Virgil did not deliberately clock out in order to spare Thomas any effect from his side.
“Nah, that is work. Work sucks. We wanna sleep forever and eat weird shit, right?”
Remus grumbled.
At heart, he sort of agreed. Right now, he was driven to do things, to be active and creative or destroy and simply do as much as he could because he had that energy.
“Nap time, Dukey.”
Virgil tugged him towards the bed.
“Oh, Virgil ~ I did not know you were into this kind of thing ~”
The addressed side blushed but shook his head.
“In your dreams, fucker.”
He stepped closer to the unmoving wall of Creativity. Confidently, he let their chests collide, sending Remus backwards.
The wavering Duke gasped in surprise and squeaked insolently.
“EmO!”, he screeches with a voice that got scratchier and scratchier by the minute. His arms flailed into any direction until he drew them in front of his chest to cross them.
“How can you be cunning and cunt-y?”
Virgil could hear his brain yell a conditioned “language!” response at him. He literally heard Patton scold Remus in his brain. Judging from the sour look on the other’s face, the anxious trait assumed he could hear it too.
“Now you know how tiring it can be to hear something in you, that you can’t stop? Pretty fucking shitty, huh? Move, babysitting you is tiring.”
The reveal of a long, pink tongue was the response but Remus kicked off his boots and patted his clothings until they dissolved into some sort of magical glitter dust. It silently trickled down onto the floor and was blown into all directions of the room.
This place really had a mind of its own. Not that Virgil really minded this.
“Good Remus”, Virgil praised softly as he joined the other on the bed. They laid down together and Virgil kicked a bundle of weapons and books off the bed, “oops. My bad. I thought it was your pet raccoon.”
Remus giggled.
“No! That is you!”
Virgil shook his head, grinning into his oversized mess of a self-ruined jacket. The Duke looked at him in his own naked glory and patted the space next to him. To join him on the fun, he eyed the stack of his dirty single socks collection and gave it a strong kick.
“PARTY!”
“Nooo, nap time. We wanted to be nice to Thomas and fuck shit up tomorrow.”
Creativity blinked at Virgil. A rare occasion. The blinking and directly looking at someone. He usually just stared into something nobody but him could see. It was chilling and so deeply terrifying, Thomas would feel it in his bones when anyone but Logan or the (former) Others interacted with him.
“You will join me?”
Virgil threw his head back as he slowly snuggled up to Remus, filling the spot he had previously patted. A groan escaped his lips and he let his head roll against Remus’ shoulder.
Instead of answering, he clapped his hands together, summoning a little bowl he thrusted into Remus’ hands.
The bowl was full of little gummy worms which looked surprisingly disgusting with how slimy and wet they appeared to be. They had a certain shine to them and the colour was so unnaturally neon orange, they were glowing in the dim lighting of the Duke’s room.
“Have a cursed snack and get your creative energy into a fucked up sex dream instead of making Thomas uncomfortable. He’s got some shit to do tomorrow.”
Silence took over the room.
Virgil caused some rustling sounds as he curled up next to Remus. The room was surprisingly un-stinky compared to what he had expected.
Loud chewing sounds interrupted the momentary silence.
It was good while it lasted but Virgil was willing to trade his own discomfort for the sake of Thomas’ well-being. He needed his sleep with another tough schedule coming up.
“Virgil?”
He hummed in response.
“Are you anxious because of the new projects they planned?”
The former dark side curled further into himself, shaking his head stubbornly.
Chewing sounds continued for a bit until Remus took a small break and suddenly snapped his head back and emptied the whole bowl into his mouth. Without even moving his jaw to chew, he swallowed his big ball of cursed sweets and made a lewd lip-smacking sound.
Virgil opened his mouth to comment on how disgusting the other was but he interrupted him.
“Come cuddle. It is okay to be scared. I will eat your mean anxiety.”
He shook his head. The Duke turned to pull Virgil into a hug. The anxious side chuckled.
“This is not how I work.”
“Yeah, but it is how I work.”
“Whatever, Remus. Shut up if you wanna cuddle, you rat man.”
It was Remus’ turn to chuckle.
“You just wish I was moth man!”
Virgil shook his head, smirking into Remus’ neck. He finally allowed himself to close his eyes and hold onto the other.
It was silent.
For real.
Within minutes, Remus was asleep and Virgil was ever so silently snoring, nobody could hear it.
#ts remus#remus sanders#fanfiction#fanfic#fanficion#fanfic fluff#ts fanfiction#sanders sides fanfiction#sanders sides virgil#virgil sanders#joey writes#domestic fluff#Fluffy Fic#fluff
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Puppy Dry Dog Food For Husky Puppies
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TIP:
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The most common symptoms of heartworm can include coughing, difficulty breathing, tiring easily and weight loss. Heart failure and liver disease are the worst case scenarios and can occur if not treated. The only way to find out if your husky puppies have been infected with the disease is to have their blood drawn by a veterinarian.
You can eliminate any concerns by giving your husky puppies preventative heartworm pills. Because this disease is transmitted by mosquitoes the warmer months of the year are a greater concern. If you live in an area that is warm year round, then your husky puppies have a greater chance of contracted the disease. If you live a temperate area then you may only give your husky pups the heartworm pills for a portion of the year.
Heartgard Plus Chewable Tablets are one of the leading brands of heartworm pills on the market. This preventative dog medication can be given to puppies who are six weeks or older. It is a monthly oral medication used as a combination heartworm preventive and intestinal wormer. It kills the immature form of the heartworm (Dirofilaria immitis), which is transmitted by a mosquito and is also used for the treatment and control of hookworms and roundworms. Here are some helpful tips regarding heartworm and heartworm pills.
Talk to your veterinarian about the heartworm testing that is recommended before starting your pup on a heartworm prevention program.
Some intestinal parasites, such as hookworms and roundworms can be spread to people.
Talk to your veterinarian about other measures you can take to prevent your pet from being infected with intestinal worms, and protecting yourself.
Notify your veterinarian of any other medications or supplements your dog is taking, and also if your dog has had any reactions to previous medications.
This medication should only be given to the pet for which it was prescribed.
While you may get Heartguard through your veterinarian, there are also many online retailers that carry this helpful product. Dr’s. Foster & Smith and 1-800-PETMEDS are two of the most reputable online retailers of pet supplies.
Pressed Rawhide Dog Bones For Husky Puppies
Husky puppies are usually known as “power chewers.” One of the best types of dog bones to give any power chewer, is a pressed rawhide dog bone. If you have owned a Siberian husky or another large dog then you may already be familiar with pressed rawhide bones. I like to give my huskies pressed rawhide dog bones simply because they are heavier and tougher than regular rawhide treats. Pressed rawhide is made from real cowhide and they are an excellent treat for any puppy, especially husky puppies. Pressed rawhide bones are an extremely dense dog chew that is formed by “welding” numerous layers of rawhide with colossal pressure. The result is an ultra-dense, solid core bone that is guaranteed to outlast any other style of rawhide dog bones.
Pressed rawhide is an excellent choice because they will provide you puppies with hours of chewing pleasure! What’s also really great about these treats is that they are not made with any harmful chemicals. There is also no bleaching involved when making these dog bones which is also a plus. Bleaching dog bones has been known to remove essential nutrients and decrease flavor.
A great place to find pressed rawhide dog bones is at Dr’s. Foster & Smith’s online store. They have a wide variety of compressed rawhide to choose from and they are reasonably priced. The bones come in 5 delicious flavors including chicken, hickory, lamb/rice, natural, and peanut. My husky puppies love the peanut butter dog chews. But then again my husky pups love all types of peanut butter dog treats so they may be a bit biased.
A few tips:
1. The darker colored chews, especially the hickory, can be a little messy.
2. You may want to put your dog outside with these types of dog bones because they can get into your carpet and cause quite the mess.
3. There is always a slight possibility that the color may run when the rawhide gets saturated with saliva so if you give your dog this bone inside, do on a floor that can be easily cleaned. Most rawhide will stick to a rug, regardless of it’s color, so it’s probably wise to give all types of rawhide dog bones outdoors.
I found these FAQ’s at the Foster & Smith website and I you many also find this helpful.
“My dog goes through rawhides very fast, will the Pressed Rawhides take him longer to eat?
Pressed Rawhides are heavier and denser than regular rawhide and should take your dog longer to chew than regular rawhides.
What makes these rawhides tougher?
The Pressed Rawhides are tougher because multiple layers of rawhide are ’welded’ together. This makes it much heavier than regular rawhide.
Will these rawhides stain my carpet?
The Pressed Rawhides are manufactured to be ‘non-staining’. However, when you offer the darker colored flavors, you may want to have your dog chew the rawhide on a rug or enjoy his rawhide outside. There is always a slight possibility that the color may run when the rawhide gets saturated with saliva.
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Captive
Chapter Ten→ “Beauty and the Beast”
SUMMARY: You were held captive by Hydra for years and had only just escaped when the Avengers find you. You’re beyond terrified of everyone and everything around you, but the thing the terrifies you the most is yourself. The things you can do with your “abilities” are beyond what anyone could possibly imagine.
Chapters: 1 ~ 2 ~ 3 ~ 4 ~ 5 ~ 6 ~ 7 ~ 8 ~ 9a ~ 9b
Word Count: 2774 Warnings: Mentions of abuse, angst.
A/N: I’m gonna try this out without the tags because I feel like they look a lil’ sloppy, but I’ll be doing them on select fics!
The day went by slowly after that, Bucky had locked himself away in his room, and you wanted nothing more than to go to him and apologize. You didn’t mean for him to take what you said literally. The Tower was your home, the people in it were your friends, and they loved you whether you believed it or not. And you loved them more than you could express with words or actions.
They saved you, from yourself, from Hydra, from your mother…
How could you have been so inconsiderate? So childish?
You bit down harshly on your bottom lip, Bucky’s words ringing in your ears like gunshots. You never meant to hurt him. The look on his face was crushing, and you hadn’t even realized what you said until he called you out on it. What was wrong with you?
Tears pooled in your eyes as your heart raced uncontrollably in your chest. You inhaled sharply as the lights flickered over your head. Fear shot up your spine at the thought of you losing control.
Wanda’s voice suddenly broke the silence that taunted you, “There’s a war going on behind your eyelids.”
You pulled your hand away from your chest quickly, swallowing down the panic that settled in your throat. You couldn’t respond.
“What’s the matter? Where is Bucky?” She asked, and the mere mention of his name had your hair standing on end. The lights flickered again, “I think you need to take a deep breath. Do you wanna go for a walk?”
You scoffed at this, “A walk? Where? I can’t leave the Tower.”
She approached you slowly, holding out her hand for you to take. When you hesitated, she sighed through her nose, “No one is keeping you here, (Y/N).”
Those words struck you deep in your bones.
“I can leave.” You breathed out, disbelief in your tone.
“If you wish to leave, we can’t stop you.” She looked sad when she said this, but you couldn’t fully understand why.
“Where should we go?” You asked, sounding a little less sad.
“Anywhere you want.”
That was all it took for you to take her hand. You could leave whenever you wanted and you could go wherever you wanted. You had choices. And you haven’t had those in a long time, maybe even ever.
She helped you find a jacket and gloves to wear, telling you that it was cold outside, but the streets of New York looked beautiful right now. And they were. The air was cold and the wind stung your face, but the delight you felt when your feet hit the pavement made everything else feel minuscule.
The snow underfoot was sloshy and brown, but it was snow! And there was snow falling from the sky! The trees that lined the streets were twinkling with lights and the scent of chestnuts and cinnamon surrounded you as you walked passed street vendors. Wanda was holding your hand tightly, smiling down at her shoes every time she heard an excited gasp leave your lips.
“It’s beautiful here!” You whispered to her, your shoulder nudging hers.
“I thought so too when I first arrived here,” She grinned, “Do you wanna get some coffee? There’s a coffee place right across the street.”
You nodded rapidly, already pulling her toward the curb. Taxis and garbage trucks zoomed past in a blur, their horns going off every other second, but they didn’t seem to faze you, and Wanda took that as a good sign. The two of you shot across the street, squealing as people beeped their horns and yelled at you, but your laughter drowned them out.
“People are supposed to be nicer during Christmas!” You laughed as you pulled the door open, the scent of coffee overwhelming you.
“Not New York drivers!” Wanda replied.
The cafe was empty, and you both ordered your drinks. You got a hot chocolate while she got a regular coffee.
Secretly, and much to your disappointment, you felt a little drained. Maybe it was the walk over here or all the excitement, but your body ached to sit and rest. Wanda peeked into your thoughts every once in awhile to check on you and took note of this.
“I would say yes to staying, but I think we should take our drinks to go,” Wanda smiled, and you were too tired to suspect her of anything.
You nodded in agreement, holding the steaming cup in your hands. The excitement was still lingering. You were grinning widely as you walked back, and you couldn’t wait to tell Bucky about your adventure, even if it was small. But your smile fell as you thought about how badly he must have felt because of you. He didn’t want to talk to you, not right now, maybe not ever again.
“Hey,” Wanda nudged you, “Bucky would love to hear about our walk.”
You shook your head gently, and she couldn’t help but think you looked like an upset child, “He’s mad at me right now.”
“Doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. This was a big step for you!” She smiled, pulling you into her side, her fingers poked at your waist to make you giggle, “Come on, don’t let him ruin our fun! I just got you smiling!”
You giggled again and nodded, “You’re right. I did have fun.”
The elevator doors opened for the two of you to enter and Wanda was quick to hit her floor number. You let out a long breath, feeling like the elevator was sucking some of the happy out of you.
“I’m tired, I think I’m gonna go back to my room,” You told her just as the elevator doors opened to her floor, “Thank you for taking me outside and making me laugh, Wanda.”
She squeezed your hand, “Anytime, (Y/N). Goodnight.”
“Night!” You waved.
The ride up to your room felt like an eternity and all the while you couldn't stop thinking about how Bucky was the floor right under yours. You toed at the marble floor of the elevator, chewing your lip nervously. Was he still angry at you? What were you supposed to do to make it up to him?
When your mother was mad at you, she would force you to play the piano for hours on end.
When Hydra agents or doctors were mad at you, they would-
You shook your head to rid yourself of the violent memories.
You decided to just leave Bucky alone for a while, a nagging voice whispering that he never wanted to speak to you again weighed heavily on your brain, but you did your best to brush it away. Wanda’s advice was still sticking with you and so was a little bit of the excitement from being on the streets of New York.
You walked slowly to your room, chewing on your bottom lip. Bucky’s energy was dim, telling you he was either asleep or relaxing. Your hand pressed against your door, your mind telling you to just go inside and leave him be, but your body missed him. It missed the way he calmed your nerves and the way he made you feel safe. It missed the way his hands felt when they held yours or when he was moving a piece of hair behind your ear. You tried to swallow the lump in your throat, but it remained.
You sighed heavily and bumped the door with your forehead before pushing it open. Your body slumped slightly, before winding itself up. You placed your hot chocolate down beside your bed, suddenly losing the taste you had for it. With a heavy sigh, you got ready for bed, brushing your teeth and washing your face. Your fingers traced over the material of one of Bucky’s sweatshirts, your heart picking up its pace when you brought it to your face. It didn't smell very much like him anymore, it smelled more like you, but you pulled it over your head and slipped out of your jeans.
You settled into your bed, the sheets feeling oddly cold and empty. The TV blared in the background and you tried to watch the group of women argue about someone having a drug addiction, but you couldn't focus. Your skin felt itchy and your chest felt tight.
Bucky was angry at you and your body was angry at you for making him feel that way. You sighed, turning the TV off angrily as you tried to lay comfortably beneath the sheets. It took you all of four minutes to realize you weren't sleeping at all, and then you found yourself pacing your room, biting your thumb harshly at the thought of Bucky not wanting to see you.
“What's the worst that could happen?” You mumbled to yourself, rubbing at your forehead nervously.
He would never hurt you.
But that worm of doubt slithered its way into your head.
“He would never physically hurt you.” You mumbled, correcting yourself.
But that worm wiggled all the more violently.
“He wouldn't.” You growled, pushing away memories of hands, manicured like your mother’s and gloved like Hydra agents’, striking you down.
You plopped down on your bed again, cradling your head in your hands. This was not how you pictured your life when you were a little girl. When you were little, you dreamed of things any normal girl would dream of, like getting married, owning a house, traveling, having a family of your own. But here you were, feeling nothing but disdain for yourself, wanting nothing more than to just be normal and have normal things, like a life, or friends, or maybe even a freakin’ dog.
But… Bucky wanted the same things you did. Bucky was the one that told you that being normal didn't matter. Bucky was the one that said he was always going to be there to “help you through your shit.” He was always going to be one step behind you, whether it be as a friend or something more.
You made your decision. In that instant, you shot off your bed. Your bare feet slapped against your rug, then the floor of the hallway, and soon after finding their way to the marble floor of the elevator again.
The inside of your cheek was bleeding from being chewed so much and your chest heaved with excitement and nerves, but you weren't afraid because Bucky wasn’t a liar. Bucky was always gonna be there for you, like it or not. He told you himself, made you feel it with the way he treated you and smiled at you and cared for you.
You jogged lightly down the hallway, heart in your throat, and to his door. He was still laying in the same position as before, unmoving except for the gentle rise and fall of his chest. He was sleeping, maybe you should just leave.
You turned around, playing with the ring on your finger that you borrowed from Wanda.
You stopped suddenly, puffing your cheeks up with air, thinking, “No, I can't go to sleep like this.”
You turned around again, hand now hovering over the door, ready to knock.
You stopped, silently cursing yourself out. What would you say to him? “Hi.” ??? You huffed.
“No,” you shook your head, “no, don't plan it. Just say what you feel. Say what you were thinking upstairs.”
You sighed loudly, and without another thought, you were knocking on his door, heart hammering in your chest. You twisted nervously at the ring on your finger, squeezing your eyes shut when you didn't hear him moving. You didn't feel him move either, his energy still low.
You twisted on your heel, shaking your head and whispering, “Stupid. He's sleeping.”
But suddenly, he was making his way toward the door, energy glowing brighter by the second. You froze, twisting the ring more now. You swallowed audibly when he drew the door open and stared at you, waiting for you to say something.
So you said the first thing that came to mind, “I-I miss you when you're not around me.”
Your voice shook with nerves and you cleared your throat when he didn't say anything, but he leaned some of his weight on the door, which you took as his way of silently telling you he was listening.
You continued, mostly because you felt like rambling would help, “I like when you sleep in my room because y-you tend-d to calm me down,” you peeked up at him through your lashes, but he remained quiet. You licked your lips, mouth feeling dry, “A-and you always make it feel like I have a place in the world like I belong. Maybe I don't belong with normal people, but you don't either, and you make me feel like that's okay… you just make me feel like I'm normal in my own way, in your own way, i-if that makes sense…”
Why wasn't he stopping you? You weren't making any sense at all.
Your bit bottom lip harshly, “I couldn't sleep, n-n-not while knowing I hurt your feelings by saying something I didn't mean. W-what I'm trying to say is - see, it’s like - I'm trying to say that I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I was thinking about my life before Hydra and I realized that I wasn't home when I lived in Greenport. I lived there, but I never felt accepted or loved the way I feel accepted and loved here. I- you… you make me feel accepted and loved. And I’m sorry if I made you doubt that.” You blew out a long breath when you were done, but it still felt like you had more to say. Like there was something you couldn't quite express, and when you looked up to see if he was still listening to you, and found him staring intently at your small form, you swallowed down your nerves and pushed yourself onto your toes. Your arms wrapped around his neck and you pulled your bodies closer. Your feet stepped on his so you could fit your head in the crook of his neck, and ever so gently, you let your lips graze his collarbone and shoulder.
He was tense in your arms, making your heart beat faster. This was a mistake. He doesn't care for you as much as you do for him, but just before you could pull away, his arms wound around your waist and clutched you tightly to him. He was breathing you in deeply, nose pressed against your shoulder. His eyes stung with tears more than he cared to admit, and he was thankful you couldn't see them.
When he felt your soft lips on his skin, he nearly shuddered, nearly broke down right there in your arms.
It was a step. Your whole speech was a step in the right direction. You were seeing things, seeing yourself the way he saw you.
“I'm sorry.” You whispered to him.
“I’m sorry, too.” He shook his head, lips pressing firmly against your shoulder and the side of your neck.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Bucky,” You breathed, feeling the stress drain from your body.
“I wasn’t there for you the way you needed me to be.”
You pulled away from him quickly, cupping his face in your small hands, “You don’t have to be there for me every minute of every day, just knowing that I could talk to you is enough.”
He pulled you in again, lifting you up off your feet, it was then that he noticed that you were wearing his shirt. His hand smoothed the material, traveling from the base of your neck to the small of your back, pressing you tight against him. He heard your sigh of relief and felt it in his own body. The comfort you both sought from one another couldn’t be healthy, could it?
“Bucky,” You whispered tiredly.
He hummed back a response.
“I’m hardwired to expect everyone to hurt me, and I know it’s bad that I’ve had my doubts about you, but I don’t think I’ll have them anymore.” You admitted in such a small, quiet voice it made Bucky tremble.
“I would never hurt you. Ever.” His voice cracked.
He viewed himself as a monster, someone who could kill without a thought, someone who has destroyed so many lives in the past. But then you came along and it was almost like you tamed him, tamed the beast that lived inside him. You showed him the beauty of the world.
As cheesy as it may sound, he was the beast and you were his beauty.
#Bucky Barnes#Bucky Barnes x reader#Bucky#Bucky Barnes fic#Bucky fic#fic#writing#imagine#Marvel#Marvel fic#Bucky Barnes imagine#Bucky imagine#Marvel imagine#Bucky x reader#Bucky Barnes fanfiction#Marvel fanfiction
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