#chewing on her like a dog bone

[weishaupts]

wife wife wife wife wife

[isjuice]

LISTEN 2 me we are going to talk about squiddles ok.

[tiny-feisty-gay]

hey the way jinx immediately stopped fighting vi to check on isha made me ill bc what do you mean that one small action shows so much character growth

[hendiadetic]

KILLS MYSELF AND EXPLODES

[rambling-robot]

Played with the neighbor’s puppy because I was outside reading and she was crying and I’m a huge softie

+ 30 happy points

- 5 health

+ 8 bleeding damage

[johnbottoms]

FINALLY FOUND SOME CHEW BONES THAT MY DARLING DOG ACTUALLY LIIIIKEEEESS TEEEEHHEHEHEHEEE!!!! HELL YEAH TO HER TEETH BEING ACTUALLY USED SLAAAAYY

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

RATS are NOT your friends at night while you're reading a scary book

[maydens]

yes akordia is a mash between don bluth's anastasia and aelin from tog and emma swan and specifically barbie's rapunzel what about it!!

[dersitedreamr]

Rose shifting through the artifacts in Jade’s house like “Okay. So we’re going to call the federal government. And figure out how to get these returned to their respective origin countries.” Jade is all sad, Rose is patting her back like “I know this is your tether to your grandpa but he should not have gotten his hands on these in the first place.”

[highevara]

something something elethea not even being referred to by her name just as "the teyrna of gwaren" as if shes just a concept.

[ghiilanas]

the babygirl is BACK

[coughloop]

So Everytime I send me dog into The Woods she comes back with a human bone in her jaw that she's chewing and loving on and it's her favourite thing in the world. Normally this wouldn't really concern me but every time she's comes back from The Woods with one of these bones I noticed that I'm suddenly missing a bone from my body. No entry marks no pain in just flimsy in that part of my arm or my spines feels a little bit shorter. The bone she brings back basically never matches up with the one that feels like it's missing so it could be a classic example of correlation not equalling causation. So basically what I'm wondering is, should I confront her? Does anyone have experience with similar body altering dog rituals? Or am I anthropomorphizing my little puppy and this is just a hilarious coincidence?

[nsfwruru]

Can you do a perv g!p Sakura x innocent fem 6th member?? I honestly can’t describe anymore lol so yea 😭

Idol!Miyawaki Sakura (g!p) x Idol!reader

Sakura has gotta be the most perverted mf you’ve ever lived with, she’s stealing your shit, thinking about you, all the while she’s rubbing one out. She also literally can’t keep her hands to herself, and needs to be checked out for like brain damage or something.

cw: smut, porn with plot (pervy!sakura, dubcon?, creampies, riding, mentions of hentai, dom!kkura, cumplay, thigh fucking, eating out), not proofread, naive!reader, reader is part of lesserafim but generally only lives with sakura

Sakura Miyawaki, being generally the same age as her, you thought you’d both have a lot in common, I mean at face value you both did. You loved music, started your career at a young age, was more secluded from the rest of the functioning world than others, loved manga and anime alike, everything was so compatible between the two of you! It was almost a match made in heaven when it was time to choose the dormitory situations, and you both chose each other of course.

Naturally having moved in together, the first few weeks weren’t all that bad as you found yourself hanging out with her a lot more. Either that be cooking together after a long practice, sitting on her lap while she played overwatch, and even helping her out with the laundry and such. You thought all was going well until suddenly after all those affectionate moments and bonding times, she abruptly stopped hanging around you. Being more reclusive day by day, and being glued on her phone, or glued on her computer, completely ignoring your existence in the dormitory.

This was also around the same time some of your nick-nacks went missing, for example it was something small like maybe a hair tie you left on the counter, or even towels you left outside to dry after a shower. It wasn’t all that concerning cause you could always get another towel or hair tie, but you found it especially odd that even some of your clothes and undergarments went missing.

Whenever you asked your sweet darling roommate about it, she’d brush it off, saying something along the lines of. “Oh look at you being forgetful again!” Or “Maybe Yunjin or Zuha took em’ you know how they are.” Only for the missing items to return back to its rightful spot days later, as if nothing had ever happened.

But don’t fret, she was still that lovable older sister figure whenever you where on set, or whenever you did shots with the other girls, making sure the coddle you the most in front of other people. She would’ve even chew other people out whenever they tried coming close to you, almost as if she was a guard dog protecting her precious bone. Which made your emotions conflict even more whenever you’d arrive back home and try to be friendly, just for her the shoo you away and retreat back to her room to play games or whatever.

You genuinely thought she hated you all of the sudden behind closed doors, although little did you know that presumption was oh so wrong. She didn’t want you to know that whenever those bedroom doors lock, Sakura would pull out the latest new item she’d stolen from you and take a whiff of your scent off of it.

If it was something that was easily moveable, she would wrap it around her thick length, while reading one of those filthy mangas she loved so much, thinking it was you fucking yourself on her dick, instead of this uncomfortable towel fabric. She had no common decency, having no concern that she was cumming all over your stuff, while reading hentai, while thinking about you. Sakura literally didn’t even care if you heard you or not, even when you are at home, working on your journal or something, she’s groaning out your name.

Even then you were so concerned that you did something wrong, that you started going out and getting groceries to cook for her every night. Sometimes being so exhausted from practice you’d cook her a nice hot meal she’d love so much, and pass out on your bed. Sakura noticed all your efforts but instead of telling you that she was never mad in the first place, she’d continue the charade and let you do girlfriend things to please her and make her happy again, just because it turned her on even further.

She wanted to see how far you could go to make her happy, that she started calculating every speech and movement she did to see if you’d pay attention to what she wanted you to do. Moreover, Sakura had learnt these tactics from one of her highly exploitative mangas, using typical methodical porn tactics to fuck with your innocent little brain.

Sakura would subtly hint that she wasn’t gonna be mad at you, unless you started wearing those skimpy maid dresses that she bought you. And being the innocent people pleaser you were, you’d change out of your normal house clothes into the ones she gave you, under the guise it was “normal japanese pajamas.” Not being as chronically online as her, you thought nothing of it, slowly starting to wear the costumes she got you…all the time.

She felt like she was living her most deprived fantasies through you, for her, you were practically just a walking sex doll she couldn’t touch, not just yet. After all of this, she was starting to warm up to you again, little did you know this was all part of the plan to get you fucked up on her.

Ever single moment you spent trying to please her, the harder she got by the moment, it was hard to keep her boner under wraps whenever you’d wear those cute little short skirts while you sat nicely on her lap. Or how she’d subtly grind, and dry hump your ass whenever you were bent down cooking in the kitchen. All of these factors where things you choose to ignore because this was all for your precious roommate.

Sakura, being the perverted oldest she was, would sneak into your room at night, and take raunchy photos whenever she could whenever you slept. All to scurry back to her bedroom and use it as fap material once more.

It all came to a boiling point when you were rubbing your ass against her innocently, during one of her classic shooter gaming sessions. Her microphone which was on while she talked with her other teammates, was all of the sudden off. She began to place the headphone down onto the desk slowly letting it rest it atop the table.

With a lack of communication she lifted your waist off her hips and back down onto the exact placement of her rager was “Fuck Y/N baby, I can’t hold it anymore, don’t you know how hard you make me?” Sakura would bite back, watching you grind over her cock slowly, urging you to feel her.

“Kkura—! What the hell are you doing? Let go of me, it feels weird.” You’d plead, not liking the sensation it was bringing you whenever your cunt would graze upon her fabric boxers. Which was the only thing she would wear whenever she’d asked you to sit on her lap.

It didn’t make the situation better when you realized her hardened cock covered in a light piece of fabric, was making direct contact with your underwear as you had been forced to put on such skimpy skirt. The friction causing you to dig your nails into her knees, causing a halt to any further movement, this obviously ticked Sakura off, as her hands slid their way to her waist, digging into your skin harshly.

“Shit, don’t stop moving you dumb fuckin’ whore, your the one who’s been making me feel this way all the time, don’t you think I need a little compensation?” Sakura groaned, pulling down her boxers to reveal her hardened cock, she didn’t take a single second of waste, before sliding it in between your thighs and right in front of you slick panties, which was damp with wetness from your cunt. Instead of fucking you brainless here and now she wanted to take her sweet time.

Slowly thrusting into your thighs like a dirty dog, she leaned you over her keyboard as she continued to pleasure herself. Using your plush thighs almost like a fuck toy, she was letting out the purest, loudest groans she could ever formulate. The way her length worked its way in and out of your thighs as she held you up, fucking into you, letting the precum build on top of the tip of her cock, made the dampness of your panties darken. “Kkura, wait this is wrong— we shouldn’t be doing this.”

“Well you shoudnt have been teasin’ me this whole time bitch. Walking around all dolled up with those dresses I gave you— hah, fuck that’s good.” She groaned, unable to finish her words as she quickened her pace, working her way into your thighs, only imagining if it was your sweet pussy instead, but cumming on your thighs was good too. “Oh shit! Fuck!” She grunted out, rutting into your thighs.

Her cum splattered all over your stomach and thighs, fucking slowly into you as she finished, her wet, sticky, fluids plastered all over your freshly cleaned body made you sick to your stomach. You didn’t know your roommate, let alone your member was capable of doing something like this, despite repeatedly telling her not to. Before you had time to react and wipe all the shit off of you, she’s pulling your panties down hungrily.

“Sakura! Enough!” You pleaded with her, all the while she’s rolling her eyes at your demands, because how can a slut like you ask for anything. Sakura brings you up and pushed you down on the desk, having no concern that your tits are literally resting on the keyboard and your face is almost pushed up against the monitor screen. She’s been waiting for this moment her whole entire life, but she isn’t cruel, she wants to get you prepped up before she fucks you so good you can’t walk anymore.

Bringing her face down to your pussy, she begins to do soft kitten licks onto the folds, examining each and every crack as she spreads you wide open. Her tongue darting into wherever it can, trying to bring all the juices out from you as a sort of lubricant for what she was going to do next. Finally after eating you out for what seemed like hours, and letting you cum on her tongue a couple of times, she left one last kiss before pulling away. “Mhm baby, I think you’re all ready now.” Due to your own pleasure you failed to notice how she was jerking herself off every time she made contact with your pussy, cumming whenever you were, completely just enthralled with the view.

Bringing herself back up and lining her dick into your entrances, she lets out a low, instinctual growl, before slowly pushing herself in. The mix of your already overstimulated body, and her unexplainable girth, caused you to shake uncontrollably, your head peeking up when she fully bottomed herself out into you. “Ah! Fuck— mmpfh— Kkura!”

Your words were slurred, her name rolling off your tongue so easily, with every thrust a new hiccuped moan would intervene. The noises of skin slapping one another, and the gushes of your inside made Sakura want to bust in you then and there, though, she desperately wanted to hear more of you. Sakura rolled her eyes back from how nicely you were taking her at that moment, pounded into you until it was nothing but your voice calling out to her that filled the room.

“Shit, your so tight, fuckin’ whore” She grunted underneath her breath, each word following a harsh slam into your cervix. Her breathing became more rugged as she continued, the pounding less calculated, and the knot in your stomach threatened to unwind. Taking a fist full of your hair into her palms, Sakura pushed your head onto the monitor screen, giving her the ability to push deeper into your guts you didn’t know she could reach.

Your body, one that was once filled with so much pain and discomfort, was now truly fully consumed with pleasure and ecstasy. The squelching noises filled the room, her names rolled off your tongue so easily, “Saku, mhm…”

She had no choice but to use this as leverage, maybe even confirmation that you wanted this too, her boner twitching at the thought of doing this again, and again… and again. Sakura, pulled her hands up towards your face and inserted her fingers into your mouth, as you felt her climax come closer and closer.

Your hips grinded all over hers, liking the way her dick warmed up every single inch of you, until your felt your knees buckle at the sensation. “Mpphm!” You moan out, your sounds muffled by Sakura, as her fingers where still pushed into to base of your tongue, making you unable to formulate coherent sentences. Your juices coating her member, leaving a slight stream of wetness running down your leg as Sakura fucking you through your high.

“Good girl, cum— cum for me baby.” She groaned, continuing to fuck into your overstimulated cunt until she reached her sweet release. With a few more heavy slams, you felt Sakura’s ruthless rhythm falter, she took the primal instinctive to pull you up by your hair, watching you intently as she dumped the rest of her cum inside of you.

Pushing your lips together as she bottomed you out, still yanking at your hair, she let a glob of spit run into your mouth as she pulled away. Pushing your head down to the monitor once more as she got up, and off of you, the sensation of her living your gummy insides sent a shiver down your spine, but you where too fucked out of your mind to comment on that. “Fuckin’ slut, took this long to fuck you when you clearly wanted it as much as I do.”

She stood up and grabbed her boxers, pulling them back onto herself before taking in the sight in front of her. The roommate and bandmate she so desperately wanted to fuck for months, was sprawled onto her gaming desk like this was an artwork in itself. “Shit bitch you look good like this, get ready for tomorrow, I wanna do this again.” She chirped, leaning down to look at your dazed state before leaving a peck on your forehead, pulling away and scurrying out of the room like nothing happened.

[sugarbcnes]

— “well? dig in!” ★ MUNCHIES 𝖾𝗅𝗅𝗂𝖾 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅𝗅𝗂𝖺𝗆𝗌

cw: loser + stoner ellie. mean gf femme reader. groping. pretty much just food play. praise. ellie is a messy bitch but a munch nevertheless. obvious wlw themes. weed. high key this is so unhygienic. heavily unedited. lowercase intended. drabble don’t like it? don’t read.

“y’so handsy.”

ellie looks like a dog. a desperate puppy with her mouth hanging open on a hot day.

her chin digs into your shoulder and her free hand that isn’t holding her messily-rolled joint is grabbing at your breast like they’re going to run away. they had already spilled from their black, lacy cups the second you leant back in between ellie’s thighs, allowing her fumbling hands to grasp what they needed to keep her grounded.

“ow!” you wince as she lands a particularly hard bite on your shoulder.

“sorry, baby,” she apologizes sheepishly, grinning lazily as her lashes flutter to shade her green eyes. they look up at you, red and hazy, “i’m hungry.”

“yeah,” you mumble, standing up and tossing your bra to the floor, “i can fucking tell.”

you waltz over to her fridge, feeling the way her eager eyes burn holes through your underwear.

you scoop up an assortment of ingredients, not really taking notice of them until they’re laid out on the coffee table, her bowl and papers pushed to the side.

you roll your eyes at the sight of her lazily laid back against the arm of her sofa. she props herself up on one arm, her jeans already unbuttoned and white tanktop riding up to reveal her wispy auburn happy trail.

her eyes widen as she spots the food on the table and she freezes for a moment.

“well?” you stand with your hands on your hips, “dig in!”.

yeah. ellie thought. i’m going to dig in, alright.

“lay down.”

you turned to look up at her from your position of bending to pick your bra up.

“what?”.

she stares at you blankly, sitting up now with her hands hanging between her knees.

“leave the bra and lay down on the couch. face up.”

you squint at her, suspicion crawling over your expression as you move to lay down across from her, shifting the cushions and throws to get comfortable.

she pulls off her tanktop, slowly crawling up your body in just her sports bra and unbuttoned jeans until she’s face to face with you.

“you comfy?” she whispers against your lips. she smells of hemp, champagne and the musky incense burning on the side table.

you nod and she messily presses a kiss to your lips, getting a good handful of your tit in her hand. she savors the way you gasp into her mouth, back arching into her touch. she chuckles lowly.

you watch curiously with bruised lips and hooded eyes as she grabs a strawberry and the bottle of honey. she takes a bite of the strawberry, placing it to the side and chewing as she opens the lid.

“wha- ah!” you gasp as the cold honey hits your nipple, the syrupy gold liquid slowly dripping down your rib cage, “ellie!”.

she grins and leans down, her eyes never leaving yours as she swirls her tongue around your hardened bud. her hands grip your hips, thumbs rubbing circles into your hip bones.

she collects the syrup on her taste buds, moaning as she finally takes your whole nipple in her mouth, doing her best to suck everything off.

“fuck,” you hiss as she releases it with a pop. the skin swells slightly and she grins, knowing a hickey will form there.

this feels like a fever dream, your mind blurry as she flattens her tongue on your skin and follows the sticky trail down to your navel.

“having fun there?” you manage to choke out, hands subconsciously tugging at the hair that lays by the nape of her neck.

she smirks lazily, collecting the sweet remnants on two of her fingers and bringing them to your face.

“have a taste, baby.”

you eye her down before slowly opening your mouth a little, letting her shove her fingers in. she moans at the warmth, your saliva coating her fingers as she sinks two slender digits in until you’re gagging on them knuckle deep. she feels herself getting irritable, her boxers now wet and uncomfortable.

“that’s it,” she whispers, looking down the bridge of her freckled nasal at you, “good fucking girl.”

she pulls them out and your hole clenches at the sight of your spit leaking down the veins in her hands and wrists.

after wiping her hand clean, she turns back to the coffee table.

you feel dizzy, trying to process the sensuality of what just happened to the point you hadn’t even noticed ellie tug your panties to your ankles.

she giggles slightly as your hips jump at the feeling of her nose bumping your puffy clit. you forgot she was high.

“ellie, i swear to god- fuck!”

you hear it before you even feel it. the slight hissing sound and then the feeling of the cold whipped cream swirled in perfect little mountain on your mound.

she ogles it, proud of her creation before she’s got her whole mouth on your pussy.

your jaw slacks and your mouth falls open yet your brain short circuits, failing to produce any sounds.

“mmm” she hums, lips smacking as she pulls off, “fuck yeah.”

ellie’s long fingers wrap around your ankles, the anklet she got you for your anniversary jingling in her ear as she raises them up, pressing your knees toward your chest.

you cry out as she latches onto your throbbing clit, tongue plunging deep into your hole to taste the main treat. you grip her hair, forcing her face into as if it were even possible for her to be any deeper inside you. trying your best to remember curtesy and your elderly neighbors, you chew on your bottom lip until it’s beaded raw and puffy. your mind goes misty, already hazed from how much you smoked and the spot ellie was repeatedly hitting with her tongue.

your orgasm is accompanied by a string of curses and white vision as your saccharine juices coat ellie’s chin and lips. your limbs twitch, toes curling as you struggle to grab onto any remaining strings of sanity let alone your own breath.

she gives you a lopsided smile and flops back against the sofa, rubbing your thigh tenderly just the way you liked.

“that was like— munchies but on steroids, babe.”

that was the last you heard of her ramble before you fell asleep. god, she was such a fucking weirdo.

[webslingingslasher]

interest peaked… how the turn tables

how does trouble react when peter bites her? 🎤

'trouble?'

'reading.'

'trouble?'

'go away.'

'trouble!'

you promise yourself that this is the one and only time you'll give into him. your face must show how annoyed you are because peter softens you right up with 'i love you.'

'aw. i love you too, handsome.' you wait for more, he doesn't offer anything. you lean over for a quick kiss before settling back into his sheets. the second your eyes are back on your book, peter bids for more attention.

'cuddles?'

you're not moving a thing, peter said you could read all afternoon if you wanted and you're going to do it. you pat your chest while shifting down, if he wants a cuddle, he has to come to you.

'i'm reading.' peter doesn't need another clue, he's pushing himself up and moving to lay on top of you. his weight adds a nice pressure, subconsciously a hand finds itself dragging through his curls while the other supports your book.

'trouble?' it's a whisper, you respond with 'shh.' your hand slowly stills the further you find yourself invested in the story, peter doesn't like it one bit. you hit the next chapter, honing in on heavy dialogue you're taken from reality and thrown into the page.

you jump, a soft yelp tumbles from your lips while your book drops and you push at peter's cheek. 'ow, ow, ow, ow! stop biting, stop biting!' peter digs his teeth in further, you whine and try to hold him back, it hurts more.

'peter,' you plead with his name and it's enough to make him let up. 'what? you've got very yummy arms.' it's the same excuse you use on him, you frown and stare at the soft indent he left behind.

'you bit me.'

'payback. let me get another.' you squirm away, 'no!' peter catches your arm and holds you still, you're still trying to fight him off when he latches on to the meat of your bicep. 'you're nibbling, i don't nibble!' it's a lie, you use him like a chew toy and you should be thankful he's being so easy on you.

peter lightly thrashes his head from side to side, it's like a dog with a bone. peter's the one with a pain kink, not you. 'i don't like it! i bite, you kiss, that's the rule!'

sweet relief, your attention lost from your damp skin by falling into the deep pits of peter's eyes. they're so pretty that you could spend limitless hours just looking at them.

'i'd kiss you if i could have your attention for two seconds.'

'then ask me!' peter blinks, a small frown forms. 'i tried. you shut me out.' he was pining for your attention and went for the one thing that would rip you from your alternate universe.

'does my petey want some love?'

a tender kiss is placed where his teeth were a minute ago. 'just a little.' you could set aside a few minutes, your book wasn't going anywhere.

'okay, give me hugs.' you ready yourself for a blanket of peter, instead he shakes his head and uses a hand to hold himself up, over you. 'no hugs. kisses.'

'what if i want hugs?'

peter said what he said. 'kisses.'

'hugs.'

a pretend grumpy face, he surprises you with a peck. 'kisses.' you poke his shoulder. 'kisses always mean more to you, i know your secrets.'

'no secrets, i promise. can't a guy just makeout with his girlfriend without being interrogated?'

your eyebrows raise, 'from kisses to a makeout. see? i knew there was something up with you.' peter takes a deep breath and eases into that smile. the one full of boyish charm, the one that makes you feel warm and giddy under his touch because it feels like he's undressing you in his mind.

'trouble,' you lose all air when he places a barely there kiss on your lips. 'please let me kiss you.' you can't think straight when he whispers against you like this, especially when he's pleading.

'you can kiss me.' it's just as quiet, you can feel peter's smile when he leans in. he's so gentle you tug him closer by his shirt, in ten seconds you're pressing up and begging him for more.

you halfway notice when peter sets your book on his nightstand, this time you can't blame him for starting more than just a kiss. but you will.

'just a makeout, huh?'

'it's a paperback. we don't wanna crush it, right?'

'next time don't be so sneaky and just fuck me from behind while i'm reading.'

a sharp inhale, peter's pupils blow wide. an aggressive kiss, your bottom lip might be bruised in the morning. 'don't tempt me with a good time, trouble.'

'it's not tempting if i'm asking.' another kiss, peter can't hide his love if he tried.

'have i ever told you that you're the best thing to ever happen to me?'

[p0orbaby]

a leah x reader blurb where leah has a nightmare, she wakes you, and she’s genuinely upset. you comfort her, when she tells you about it’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve heard, you’re struggling not to laugh because leahs genuinely upset.

-

The night is dark, and your room is soaked in the kind of silence that only 3 a.m. can produce. Until, of course, Leah startles you awake. She’s sitting bolt upright, clutching the duvet like it’s the last line of defence in a war. You blink the sleep away, registering the panic in her eyes. She’s not like this often—usually steady and unruffled, even when Arsenal loses, even when the media is chewing on her career like a dog with a bone. So, seeing her like this sets something off in you. Instinct. Worry.

But it’s just as you’re about to ask if she’s alright, if she’s hurt, that she blurts out, “I dreamt I was being chased by a swarm of bees”

A pause, because the stupidity of it lingers in the air like a stubborn fly. She’s gripping your wrist now, like it’s your fault somehow, and you’re doing your best to look concerned—sympathetic even—but your lips twitch involuntarily. She’s genuinely upset, eyes wide, breath coming in shallow little bursts, and all you can think about is how ridiculous it is for a full-grown woman, a defender no less, to be traumatised by a nightmare involving bees. Not even killer bees—just normal, garden-variety buzzing things.

You clear your throat, trying to keep your voice steady. “How many bees, exactly?” you ask, because it seems like the appropriate level of absurd detail that might diffuse the situation.

“All of them,” she says, dead serious. “Trillions”

You picture her, Arsenal captain, England star, sprinting from an exaggerated cloud of cartoonish bees, legs pumping like something out of an old Looney Tunes episode. It’s the kind of mental image that’s almost too much to bear, and you have to bite down on the inside of your cheek to keep from bursting into laughter. She’s still gripping your wrist, holding on for dear life, and it’s genuinely endearing in a strange way. You haven’t seen her like this since she got that dodgy pre-season haircut, and even then, she was half-laughing at herself.

“You know they’re not real, right?” you say, keeping your voice gentle but there’s a hint of a smirk curling your lips despite your best efforts.

“I know,” she huffs, flopping back against the pillows in exasperation. “It’s just… They were everywhere, and I couldn’t get away. They had this horrible, droning sound…” She trails off, her hand finding its way to your arm again, her fingers curling against your skin. There’s a brief silence where you can’t decide whether to laugh or apologise for the universe’s cruelty in allowing such an absurd nightmare to exist.

“It’s probably karma,” you say after a moment, because if there’s one thing you’ve learned from years of being with Leah, it’s that she appreciates brutal honesty, even in the wee hours of the morning. “You did laugh at that poor bloke at the pub last week. The one who swallowed the wasp that died in his pint”

You feel her glare more than you see it. But then, finally, a begrudging smile breaks through, and she exhales a shaky laugh that tells you the worst of it’s over. She’s fine, really. Just had a bit of a fright. She leans against you, her forehead resting on your shoulder, and you can feel her settling, breathing slower.

“Honestly,” you murmur, running a hand through her hair, “if a swarm of bees is all it takes to scare you, I think the rest of us are in trouble”

She pinches your side in retaliation, but it’s more affectionate than anything else. You press a kiss to her temple, and somehow, without even trying, you’ve turned her nightmare into a joke the two of you will recycle for weeks.