#chest also hurts a little which i think is a combo of the anxiety + unrelated reasons

[rqslasher-sequel]

the wildest thing is we get the most anxious when there's literally nothing to be anxious about????

[scarlettriot]

Along for the Ride PT 7

Pairing: KirishimaxF!Reader

Summary: The wedding has arrived, and with it, a bunch of drama and feelings.

Contains: Kirishima and Reader both come from very well-off families. Plus-Sized Reader with dyed hair. NB OC. Fluff. Hurt/Comfort. Angst. Anxiety Break. Swearing. Both Kiri and Reader get a little defensive over each other in their own ways.

Warnings: TW: Manipulative Family Relationships. TW: Body Image Issues. TW: Anxiety Problems & Self-Doubt. 18+ ONLY, minors, leave.

A/N: It feels like it's taken me so long to get to this point in the story but IT'S FINALLY FUCKING HERE! There is also a little gift for you all at the very end of the story ❤️ also I didn’t do much editing and I’m so sorry!

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six

Tags: @falling4fandoms @buckybearbabe98 @kunaigirlx44 @bakucumsackslut @lastroseofspring @black-bhabie-2000 @meadow-arts @sarahschance @otomesunshine @mistyfoxsong @ace-of-books @georgettesand @sleepynaya @requi-escence @silverhairsimp - Thank you so very much for sticking with me through this!

W/C: 8,478

The night prior to the wedding you didn’t try to put up resistance when Eijiro suggested you sleep in the same room, you didn’t want to fight it, not tonight when you needed some really good sleep.

You let him hold you close, buried your face against the crook of his neck, and shut the rest of the world out of the remainder of the night because morning would be there before you knew it. And with it, sheer chaos.

Rays of morning light had you waking up before your alarm started going off. Stirring in Eijiro’s arms and trying to use his chest as a shield. He moved wordlessly at first, tugging the blankets up over both your heads like it would fend off the day.

“Don’t get up just yet,” His arms coiling around you made it seem like you didn’t have much choice in the matter, “stay just a little longer.”

When he sounded like that, like you weren’t quite sure if he was really awake, you had no willpower to even think of arguing with him. Only settle down again, soaking in a few more precious moments.

By the time your alarm let out a noisy second warning, you knew you had to start getting ready regardless of how warm and cozy you both were. There was some whining and a flash of a pouting lip that you nearly kissed but crawled out of bed before any more of those ideas stirred inside your brain.

You’d completely taken over the secondary bedroom downstairs, makeup strewed out over the bed, trying to decide what look you wanted to go for while a variety of hair products and tools lined the bathroom sink.

Eijiro had it far easier. He’d shaved away the dark stubble, braided the sides of his hair neatly back off his face, and put on most of the ebony suit but leaving the jacket and vest on the hanger until it was time to leave. He was ready to go before your makeup was halfway done which was exactly what he’d planned for because he had a dress to ruin.

10:00am

When you were taking your shower the night before he stepped out on the balcony to consult with Mina. He had to make sure the plan he was cooking up wasn’t completely insane and, maybe Mina wasn’t the best person to consult but she was far better a choice than Katsuki, who really wouldn’t care what he was trying to do, or Denki who would have come up with something much more theatric.

Together they ironed out the details perfectly, all that was left to do now was execute it.

“I think we can both use some caffeine to get through today… want your usual?”

He had to keep himself physically rooted to the spot in your doorway. Surrounded by palettes and brushes, you sat in front of the floor length mirror in just a bra and leggings with your hair haphazardly pushed away from your face. It was a usual combo, one he was accustomed to seeing over the years, and yet it always managed to make his heart skip a beat.

“That’d be great. Thanks!” You tossed him a quick smile, looking at him in the mirror before returning to the task at hand and unknowingly, starting his as well.

There were forty minutes left until you were expected to be at the ceremony. Technically there was an hour but Eijiro wanted to factor in time to show up a bit early to appease your mother. He assumed the line at the little cafe would be long and he’d been right.

He found his way to the back of it, behind a couple with puffy vests and snow pants. In front of them was a group of five women in pale blush dresses, all matching, even their hair was done up the same way. Bridesmaids. They had to be. But, there was more than one wedding happening this weekend, there was a chance these weren’t the bridesmaids for the wedding you were attending.

“Hide me, please.” A small voice squeaked from behind him. He looked down over his shoulder and could just barely see the top of Avery’s head poking around him and staring at the group of girls, “I just wanna tea but they’re gonna tell me how cute I look and I don’t wanna be told how cute I look because then they’re gonna say I look better in dresses and-“

“Hey,” Eijiro turned around, his large frame making it easy to still block Avery from view, “Breathe for a second, okay?” They took a few deep inhales. “Good! Now, tell me what kinda tea you want and wait for me by the elevator.”

“You’d really do that?”

“Of course I will.”

The order was simple, just a green tea with honey, and then they were weaving their way out of the shop.

Another ten minutes had passed before he could place his order, and then he was lingering in the back again waiting for everything to be ready. Eijiro did his best to keep to himself but, he got the odd glance as well as the occasional flirty grin. Unfortunately, the grins happened to be coming from a certain group of pink clad women. Two of which decided to approach him.

“Hey there. Sorry to bother you but, you look familiar for some reason.”

He was used to people recognizing him in Japan but in America, it was still new to him.

“Yeah, you totally look like that one movie star,”

They probably saw him in passing on the news. “Not a movie star. Guess I’ve just got one of those faces.” And thankfully, before anything else could be said, his name was called and he was excusing himself. That should have been the end of it but apparently, they were persistent.

They decided to follow him out. “You hide the accent pretty well, seriously, your English is amazing.”

Now he was just getting annoyed. “Are you here for a big business meeting or a wedding maybe, or do you look this good all the time?”

“I am in town for a wedding, yes.”

“Well, maybe we could keep you company, show you around afterward.”

They batted long lashes in time with each other, fucking creepy. “Thanks but, I’ve got all the company I could want. In fact,” he held the tray of drinks up, “Should get this up to her.”

He could see Avery holding the elevator and darted for it with a curt nod. “Thanks.”

“My sister can be a real persistent pain, sorry.”

“Your sister?”

“Yeah, see, I’m the baby. Caroline is the oldest and she’s the one getting married tomorrow. Then Jocelyn is the middle.” They took a sip of tea, “Joce is the one who said your English was good.”

“Better be, I’ve been speaking it for as long as I’ve spoken Japanese… do I really have an accent when I talk? I thought I got rid of it years ago.”

“Barely. You speak it better than most American’s. Hey, why are you popping off the lid?”

Damn, he should have waited, “Letting the steam get out.”

“Kirishima… I might be a kid but I wasn’t born yesterday. That’s cold brew.”

“Riight…” Why was thinking fast never one of his strong points!

“You’re planning something.” A devious grin spread across Avery’s face. “Can I help! I’m really good at plotting!”

“As nice of an offer as that is, I think it’s best you stay outta this one. Might piss some people off and I don’t want you in the middle of it.”

Avery frowned as another floor ticked by. “Are you pissing Y/N off? That’s really not cool! She’s super awesome and you shouldn’t-“

“Take it easy! It’s not her! Well…”

“Well!”

“She might be a little mad at me! But it’s for her own good! If you saw the dress her mother wants her to wear compared to the one she brought with her-“ Avery held up a hand.

“Say no more.” They gestured to their own outfit, “Do you think I want to be wearing this? Heck no! I packed this navy pantsuit but then I got here and my mother made me put this on.” Their eyes went wide, “You-you’re gonna ruin her ugly dress. Pour the coffee on it like an accident! Then she’ll have to wear the pretty one! That’s genius!”

“You think so?”

“I think Y/N is gonna go into a panic so I hope you’re ready for that but, yeah, it’s a pretty solid plan. More believable if you have a witness though…”

He narrowed his eyes. “Are you offering to be my accomplice?”

Their face scrunched, “I don’t like the word accomplice, but, the chance to be Red Riot’s partner for the day? You bet I am!”

The doors slid open and Avery stepped off first. “She’s in the bedroom around the corner, you know what to do?”

Avery nodded and ran off yelling your name with an added, “Your favorite cousin has arrived!” They made sure to kick their shoes off on the other side of the island. Eijiro got both the drinks out and carefully placed the loose lid on one of them, while Avery pulled you from the bedroom.

He almost didn’t have to pretend to accidentally drop the coffee when he looked up and saw you in that dress, it nearly slipped from his grasp from shock alone.

Pretty sure you could wear a potato sack and as long as it’s on you I’d love it. He remembered telling you those exact words less than 24 hours ago and this dress… it made a potato sack look like high fashion. Burnt orange with puffed out sheer sleeves and a collared neckline that looked like it was trying to choke you. Spilling coffee on the thing might actually be an improvement!

“Okay, I won’t say anything else about my dress, you’ve got it so much worse.” Avery was laughing and you looked so damn defeated.

“About that coffee,” You looked over to him with pleading eyes, “I hope you got the biggest one they’ve got.”

Eijiro sucked in a quick breath, now or never.

“’Course I did!” He was careful not to squeeze it and walk right in the path of Avery’s shoes, tripping and letting the drink slip from his hand to catch himself on the counter at the last second. He heard you gasp, and then swear, and then saw the liquid drip into a puddle on the floor.

Avery was giggling, asking if you two were alright, and that probably was what sold it.

“I’m alright for now but I’m not gonna be! I don’t have time to get this out! Mom’s gonna murder me! Like, this is it for me. I should flee now.”

“Y/N I’m so sorry, that was totally my fault.”

“Actually, I think it was mine.” Avery piped up, “I think it was my shoes that made you fall.”

You closed your eyes and took in a slow deep breath. “It’s alright. Accidents happen. Yeah…” You started walking back to the bedroom, “I don’t have time to fix this so I’ll just wear the one from Tetsu’s wedding and-“

“NO!” Eijiro shouted, “I, I just mean, what about the red one… you know, you like it so much and if you can’t wear this one then you should wear the one you really like.”

“Doesn’t matter what I like. Tetsu’s fits the theme better anyways.”

Eijiro crossed the room you to, holding both your hands in his, and spoke quietly with a serious edge, “Do not make me go get that other cup of coffee off the counter. I will.”

You blinked up at him, quickly figuring out his plan. “You did this on purpose?”

“I wanted you to have the chance to wear what you wanna and now you do. Doesn’t really matter how it happened, does it?” He gave his best cheesy smile and thankfully it was enough.

“I should be really mad at you. I’m probably gonna catch a whole lotta hell for this.”

“It was an accident, I tripped, we even have a very reliable witness!”

“Avery was in on it too!”

He rubbed at the back of his neck while you started to undo the little buttons at the base of your neck. “They wanted to help… speaking of help, you look like you could use some.” You were tugging at the zipper, “C’mon, don’t be stubborn, turn around and let me help.”

You spun around and he could see the layer of tulle stuck in the zipper. He tried being careful, lightly pulling but nothing seemed to work and your wiggling was making the whole process much more difficult than it should have been.

“Stop moving for a sec-“

“Can’t help it. You’re pulling so tight it’s choking-“

“’M sorry but it isn’t budging-“

He heard the tiniest rip, your heel snagging some of the fabric in your scramble and so he stopped for a second, pressing you against his front. “Relax for me,” He could still see the rapid rise and fall of your chest but you stilled, “Good.”

“Eiji, please, just tear the damn thing. Get it off me. I don’t care.”

His quirk wasn’t even needed. One good yank was all it took to come apart. The sound filling the room almost masked your little gasp but Eijiro heard the breathy little noise leave you. It brought back vivid memories of other times he’d pulled that sound from you, his cock stirring at the thought. There wasn’t time for that now though.

“Aren’t you guys supposed to wait until after the wedding to rip each other’s clothes off?” Both of you spun around to see Avery leaning against the door frame, drink still in hand and grinning like a cat.

Eijiro cleared his throat, politely asking if you needed help with anything else before abruptly leaving you to get changed with Avery following him out.

“So,” Avery swirled the tea around, “you and my cousin…”

“We’re just friends.” Eijiro stuck to the story.

“Yeah. I don’t think so.”

“Hate to break it to you, kid, but what you think doesn’t really have much to do with it.”

They shrugged. “Maybe not. But, if you are just friends, you shouldn’t look so in stupid, silly, sappy love with her all the time. It really gives you guys away.”

But that was the problem, Eijiro was in stupid, silly, sappy love with you. And it was written all over his face the moment you stepped out of the bedroom in that red dress again. Stealing his breath away just like you’d done the night before. His eyes lingered over your curves, the way your shoulders were left bare only to have your arms covered to the wrists and the dainty pearl buttons there. Even though it was velvet, the tiny bits of glitter made the dress shimmer when you walked, sparkling in the sunlight coming in through the windows.

“You two are hopeless.” Avery muttered, “Alright love birds, time to go.”

“Avery, you go ahead. We’ll follow you in a sec.” He saw your quizzical stare but you still urged Avery to head out.

“It’s alright. We’ll be right behind you.”

“Better be! I don’t wanna hear auntie throwing a fit. Mom said I’m not allowed to have my headphones until after the ceremony.” They complained until the elevator arrived, “BE QUICK WITH THE SEX.”

You both shared a laugh once the doors closed before turning back around to Eijiro and asking him what was wrong.

“Nothing,” He quickly said, and pulled out a small paper bag from where he’d stashed it in the cupboard earlier that morning, “I just wanted to give you this.”

He watched as you opened the pale blue bag, pulled away the silver ribbon, and reached in to pull out the slender box. You lifted the lid and peeled back the crate paper. “Oh… Eijiro, this is from that shop in town, I saw it yesterday!”

“I know you did,” He chuckled and motioned for you to spin around, “You circled back to it like five times.”

“But, when did you have time?”

“Before I met you at the sweets shop.” The latch slid easily in place, settling at the base of your neck. “And people say I can’t be sneaky.” You spun in front of him, the gemstone between your thumb and forefinger. “You still like it, right?”

“I love it. It’s my favorite color. I didn’t even think to get it though.”

“I figured. You’ve been a little preoccupied worrying about a bunch of other stuff. I thought you deserved something for yourself.”

His cheeks warmed when your lips pressed against them. “Thank you, Eiji. I love it.”

He slipped his hand into yours with a goofy grin. “Let’s get this wedding over with.”

10:50AM

For being a last minute wedding, there had to be nearly two hundred people in the hall when you and Eijiro arrived. People were taking their seats, chatting amongst themselves while soft music swayed around.

“Do you need to be up front with family?” Eijiro leaned down to ask you.

“My mother didn’t tell me I had to,” you quickly looked around and found a few seats open near the back, “this way we can leave faster.” He just chuckled and let you pull him along, both of you ignoring the lingering looks you were being tossed. Except there was one set of eyes you couldn’t avoid, your mother’s.

Furious. They were dark and full of anger watching you take a seat in the back of the hall. “Remember, the dress is completely ruined, there’s nothing you could have done.” His hand was on your knee when she started walking forward only to be stopped by her sister, shuffling her away.

“Crisis averted, for now.”

“I’ll try to keep her off your tail.” You hadn’t even heard the wheelchair by your side, turning to face the silver haired man and giving him a hurried hug.

“Gramps!”

“Hey there, kiddo. ‘S good to see you.” You’d spun to face him. He had a few more wrinkles than you remembered but his smile still remained youthful somehow. “Gonna introduce me to this handsome man or am I just supposed to guess his name?”

Eijiro was quick to reach his hand around you with an introduction on his tongue. Your grandfather shook his hand with a great deal of enthusiasm. “Must be a real good friend to fly all the way here with my granddaughter for this shit show.”

Eijiro choked on a laugh. “Grandpa!”

“What! They wanna kick me out, fine, let ‘em. I got far better things I could be doing.”

“Dad,” You looked up to see Avery’s mother taking the handles of his wheelchair, “you need to be nice today. Come on, we’ve got you a seat right up front so you can see Caroline in that beautiful gown.”

The elderly man grumbled while he was pushed away, your aunt not even acknowledging your existence. “See you, kiddo!”

“Well, I thought he was plenty nice.” Eijiro was still laughing after they’d left.

“My grandfather isn’t one to take shit from anyone. Been a little harder since he has to be in that wheelchair now but it doesn’t stop him from speaking his mind.”

You could have shared hundreds of funny tales about the old man but then the music changed, rose to a swell in signal for everyone to quiet down, the bride had arrived.

11:10AM

As much as it pained you to admit it, your cousin, Caroline, did look beautiful in her wedding gown of pure white but, you couldn’t think of a time the woman didn’t look stunning. She practically glided down the aisle on her father’s arm, and, even though you tried really hard, you couldn’t spot a single sign of her baby bump.

Caroline took her place beside her husband-to-be while the crowd was seated and the ceremony could begin.

Five minutes ticked by, and then ten, pretty soon a half hour had passed and all the words were starting to just mush together. They hadn’t even gotten to the vows yet. You pulled at Eijiro’s sleeve again to see the time on his watch, nearly an hour of this.

“Can you just wake me when it’s over?” You whispered making him smile and put an arm around you.

“Never understood what takes so long. Like, welcome everyone, thanks for being here, these two people love each other, kiss, it’s official, let’s eat. Why can’t it be that simple?”

“I like the way you think.” You sighed and looked on at the bridal party. The men in their dark suits with blush ties to match all the bridesmaids. “Man, my cousin is already glaring at me. I haven’t even seen her and she’s already got an attitude.”

“You’ve got a lot of cousins, which one?”

“Avery’s middle sister, she’s the bridesmaid third from the end.” His eyes lifted to the row of women, “Oh, I met her earlier.” You looked at him then, “When I went to get coffee. Her and the one to her left came up to talk to me.”

You didn’t know the other woman he mentioned, probably a sorority sister, if you had to guess. Still didn’t make sense why she’d be shooting daggers at you though. “What’d she say?”

“Just small talk…” You narrowed your eyes at him and he folded like a deck of cards, “They asked if I was here for the wedding and if they could keep me company. I said I was already with someone though.”

Great. So, you had something they wanted. It was bad enough as children when you had a game or a toy they wanted… you could only imagine how it would be with an actual person.

12:35 pm

“Finally!” You groaned dipping out of the hall just after the bridal party had gone by. Taking to a corner of the lobby with Eijiro by your side. “I think I need another coffee just to stay awake.”

Before you could suggest making a stop by the cafe, the shrill snap of your name had you frozen to the spot. You can see the shift in Eijiro’s posture beside you, it’s a reflex by now to start to guard the moment he or a friend is threatened, even if that threat is your own mother.

“Just what do you think you’re doing? You’ve had your fun, now get back up to that room and put on the dress you were told to wear. Now.”

You swallowed thickly, ready to speak and explain what had happened but when you opened your mouth, Eijiro cut you off, “It was my fault, ma’am.”

Her frigid eyes turned on him then, “You?”

“Yes, Y/N had nothing to do with it. I tripped this morning and spilled something on it. Coffee to be exact.” Eijiro explained with his head bowed. “We couldn’t get the stain out in time. I’m very, very sorry.”

“It’s true!” Avery ran over, colliding with your legs, “I saw it happen, auntie! He tripped right in the kitchen.”

“I’d be more than happy to reimburse you the cost of the dress since it’s my fault it’s ruined.”

Your mother scoffed, “As if you could afford what it cost.” Avery chuckled, knowing more about Eijiro than they probably should thanks to their love of heroes, but your mother only continued to make assumptions, “Probably spent all your savings just to get that penthouse thinking that would impress my daughter. Silly boy, Y/N has never appreciated the finer things in life, so, a bit of advice; don’t waste what little finances you’ve got left on her.”

Eijiro’s jaw was set tight, and you knew he was biting his tongue, probably hard enough to draw blood. But, when he spoke, his words were calm and carefully selected. “You’re right, the penthouse didn’t impress her, money doesn’t impress her at all! Y/N has always loved the simpler things in life, like when her favorite song comes on the radio or when she’s driving with the windows down on warm summer nights. She can find beauty in the simplest things and I think that’s amazing.”

“Wow…” Avery voiced the word that caught in your throat but, your mother was less than impressed, she wasn’t even amused, just rolling her eyes letting them settle back on you.

“Well, it’s obvious you won’t be in any of the family photos looking like that. You don’t match and it would ruin everything. Just, go to the cocktail hour and try not to embarrass me anymore. Avery, you’re expected to be out front in ten minutes for the shuttle to take us to the photo location. Do not be late.”

“Do not be late.” They mimicked when your mother was barely out of earshot.

“It’d be really unmanly of me to punch your mother, right? Like even if she is being a raging cu-“ You clamped a hand over Eijiro’s mouth before he could finish the word.

“Yeah, Ei, it would be, but thanks though.”

1:00 pm

The cocktail hour was held in a beautiful atrium, surrounded by vast windows looking out to the slopes blanketed in white. Tall heaters with enclosed golden flames chased the chill away. A spiral staircase climbed up and around a vast tree to an overlook, overflowing with greenery and flowers of beautiful shades.

It wasn’t long before the main floor was flooded with guests and people started taking to the outdoor balcony. Family friends you barely recognized did a double take when you walked by but no one stopped to say a thing to you.

Arm in arm with Eijiro you navigated around the pretty tables, making a b line for the staircase. He took the steps slowly, mindful of the way you gathered your dress in your free hand to avoid any incidents.

“I actually remember this project,” He told you once you’d reached the top. His hands ran across the wooden finish of the balustrade, fingers catching in the tiny leaves and vines that had been carved into the whole thing, “My mom asked me what pattern I liked better. It was between this and some little birds. I didn’t have a clue what it was for though.”

You had the opportunity to see a few of the buildings Mrs. Kirishima had designed over the years, more so you’d seen the blueprints and mock ups littered around their home when you visited but actually getting to see and be inside the finished projects, each of them were a work of art.

“It’s obvious she loves what she does, Eijiro. Everything about this place is beautiful, right down to the tiny little leaves.”

His eyes crinkled with a grin, accepting two drinks that were offered while you kept looking around. “Is that a tunnel?”

“It is, yeah! I think it’s just supposed to be more walkway that looks down on the floor below with these little windows. I don’t know if it’s blocked off though…”

“Do you remember the blueprint well enough to get to it?”

There was a twinkle in his eye, just a little bit of mischief that you adored, and he was taking your hand. ‘Cuse me’, and, ‘Pardon us,’ left his mouth when he weaved around bodies, leading you behind flowing shrubbery, grabbing a couple finger sandwiches off a tray you passed.

“Think this is it.” He mumbled and pulled back a curtain of vines. It wasn’t off limits per se, just well hidden.

“Alright. It’s official.” You declared, “Your mother unknowingly saved me tonight and I’ll be hiding up here for the rest of the evening.”

Looking back at him, you noticed he couldn’t even stand to his full height in here. “Gonna leave Avery to fend for themselves all night… no backup?”

He knew just how to guilt you. You peered out a window carved into the faux wooden tree trunk of a tunnel. It provided you with a perfect view of the doors leading into the atrium. “I can keep an eye out for them from here… might need to slip out for more drinks though.”

“And these sandwiches,” He popped a whole one in his mouth, “They’re delicious but so small.” He handed you the last one, “I’m gonna grab a couple more. I’d tell you not to go anywhere but there’s really no point.”

He was right, there wasn’t. You stayed in the tunnel, lit with hundreds of warm yellow lights that reminded you of fireflies with the way they pulsed, light slowly dimming only to glow bright a few seconds later. You slid down the smooth wall, opting to look out the window obviously meant for a child, and noticed even more of those little carvings Eijiro had pointed out. They framed the windows, twisting all around the lights. Flowers and birds, you even spotted a fawn and a little raccoon.

You heard voices on the other side of the vines and quickly scrambled back to your feet just as Eijiro walked back in… a bridesmaid, trailing behind him giggling. In the dim light, you saw him mouth ‘sorry’.

He handed you one of the drinks and you had to restrain yourself from downing it in one go.

“Oh! You’re Caro’s cousin, right! I thought all the family left for photos. We bridesmaid's already got all ours so… here I am.”

Her whiny voice made you wanna stick your fingers in your ears. “Here you are, yeah.”

Suddenly your peaceful little tunnel was full of awkward air. “Isn’t this place so pretty? It’s really romantic too. Don’t you think?” Her hand was on Eijiro’s chest, looking up at him in a way that had your stomach churning.

“I can see how you’d think that, yeah.”

“So, like, how’d you two meet?”

“We went to school together.” You answered bluntly.

“Oh, so college?”

“High school.” Eijiro corrected. “Been close ever since. We work together now too.”

She nodded giving him all her attention, hand running down his torso. “What do you do?”

He shot you a look like he was surprised this woman didn’t know what you did if she knew who you were. “We’re both Pro Heroes in Japan.”

The woman furrowed her brow, “Really?” Her fingers pressed slightly against Eijiro’s abs making him take a step back, hitting the curve of the tunnel, “I mean, that makes total sense for you, but, you?” She finally looked in your direction, “What even is your quirk?”

You sucked in a deep breath, trying to keep a lid on your emotions. Eijiro gave you a quick nod, one that you knew well enough from years of working together. Get outta here. I can handle this. You always felt like shit doing so but it beat making a scene this early in the event.

“I’m really great at getting outta places I don’t wanna be.” And with that, you blinked and were back on the first floor. Tucked away under a part of the stairwell.

“Y/N?” You looked up to see Avery’s mother had come back already. An itinerary in hand because she had to be in charge of everything. “Using your quirk? You know that isn’t allowed. You’re not licensed here.” She rolled her eyes in exactly the same way your mother did. “You always were careless, I don’t know why I’m surprised.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be one of their sidekicks over there?” Your uncle chimed in, putting a hand on his wife’s shoulder. “I thought you’d know basic rules.”

“I’m a pro hero over there actually.”

He laughed and you could already smell the bourbon on his breath. “Well, that’s worse than, isn’t it!” But, then his dark eyes narrowed. “Don’t do it again. Or I’ll call whatever little agency you work for and have you suspended. You’re not ruining my daughter’s wedding day.”

A part of you really wanted him to call, really hoped it would be Katsuki on the other line, scream at him about how you were licensed internationally. But, you only nodded your head. “Good.”

It was a few minutes later that Eijiro had found you, still under the stairs.

“I told her I was with you, I was your date.” He quickly blurted, “I know we said just let people think what they want to but I didn’t like what she was thinking. So, I kinda just told her I was with you and then left… really fast.”

You wound your arms tightly around him. “I don’t care, Eiji. Thank you.”

He stayed glued to your side for the rest of the cocktail hour. Afternoon getting later and later, more of your family arriving back. Avery found their way to you, telling you how you were so lucky to miss pictures. It was cold and how hungry they were. It was only then that Eijiro left you, just to get them something to eat.

4:00 pm

Everyone was ushered back into the hall the ceremony had been held in only now it had been transformed for dinner and dancing. Tables with tall floral centerpieces surrounded the large wooden dance floor. Soft pink and purple lighting illuminated the walls. It was really a shame it was for such a bitter human because the atmosphere was breathtaking.

By some stroke of luck, seats were not assigned, leaving you, Eijiro, and Avery to find a table in the back with a few random strangers.

But, it was on your way back from having a word with your grandfather that you heard the first whispers.

He’s projected to be in the top ten by next year!

Did you know his mother made this hotel?! I overheard him talking and googled it! His family is loaded!

He didn’t even need to be a hero.

He certainly doesn’t need to be here with her…

Your head turned hearing the final voice, your aunt again, looking right at you as she said it.

You just shook it off and found your place at the round table between Avery and Eijiro. Fiddling with the shimmering tablecloth, you put everyone else out of your mind for the time being. You just needed to get through dinner and then you could run back to your room and put this day behind you for good.

But, dinner consisted of relatives you hadn’t seen in you couldn’t remember how long, stopping to talk to you. Asking where you’d been, how you were doing, all the basics.

“It’s kinda weird how little your family actually knows about you,” Eijiro said, slicing into another bit of steak.

Maybe to him it was but you were used to it by now. “Out of sight, out of mind.” You shrugged. “I didn’t do anything my mother could be proud of. I didn’t fit in. She was happy when I got into UA because that meant she didn’t have to deal with me anymore.”

Avery put their silverware down and hugged onto your arm. “’M sorry.” You hugged them right back because if anyone knew what this was like, it was them. You hated seeing the struggles they went through, knowing perfectly well what it was like to be the odd duck of the family and wanting nothing more than to just be accepted.

“It gets better.”

“You should see her when she’s not around all them,” Eijiro grinned, “When she’s got people around who have her back and know how wonderful she is.”

“I already know. I see you on the news all the time. You look so happy and badass.”

“I am happy and badass.”

“Could have fooled me.” Caroline stood in her gorgeous white dress across the table with the ugliest scowl on her face. “Do not go putting any ideas into my baby sister’s head about running off and being a hero. You got lucky, really, really lucky getting into that program, had to go all the way to a different country just to find a school that would take you. The chances of her getting that lucky are practically zero.”

Avery shrank in the seat beside you and Eijiro threw his napkin off his lap but you stood first. “They can do whatever they put their mind to. Your sibling has one hell of a quirk and if they decide to be a pro hero then the world will be lucky to have them. I won’t have you tearing them down like you tried to do me all those years. Not all of us wanna be some trophy wife. Get over yourself.”

“Like anyone would ever want you as a wife.” Her eyes glanced over to Eijiro, “Bet he’s just here out of pity. Number one on the most eligible pro hero bachelor list and he picks you, yeah, I don’t think so.”

“Number one?” You looked at Eijiro and he shrugged.

“Izuku is officially off the market now since him and Kat went public, bumped me up to first I guess.”

“Congratulations!”

“Thanks!”

Caroline groaned and finally walked away.

“Thank you,” Avery mumbled and you pulled them into your lap.

“Just gotta ignore her if she refuses to see you for who you are, remember?” They nodded. “I know it’s hard.”

“’M gonna go to UA just like you did. Gonna be a hero too and get away from all of them.”

Eijiro had a hand on their back. “We’ll do whatever we can to help you. Maybe if we bug Aizawa enough we can get them in on a recommendation.”

Their eyes lit up. “Eraserhead!” And then you were telling them about all the different teachers you had up until the newlyweds were called to the dance floor for their first dance.

5:15 pm

More people were called to the floor to join them, couples soon filling every corner of the floor and Avery was not-so-subtly nudging Eijiro with their foot under the table.

“Would you like to dance?” Eijiro asked you with a grin, holding his hand out like a perfect gentleman.

Avery began pushing you even after you agreed, hurrying the two of you on the dance floor.

It was crowded enough that you weren’t even on the wooden floor but that didn’t stop Eijiro from pulling you close like he’d done in the penthouse last night. The movements were smaller, kept in a tight swaying circle between two tables. You could feel his thumb brushing the bare skin of your back where the dress dipped low.

“Thank you… for everything.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” He smiled, “all things considered, it hasn’t been that bad. So, today has been kinda rough but, I had a great time with you yesterday and we can make the most out of tomorrow too.”

“We’ve got brunch.” You reminded him and he scrunched his nose.

“Do we though? I’m sure they make great food here but I’d be down for hitting that diner again!”

Skipping it did sound really appealing. “What happened to not leaving Avery?”

“Kidnap them for the day!”

“Right! My uncle already threatened to try and have my license suspended once tonight, I’m sure kidnapping his child will go over great!”

“HE WHAT!”

The music changed, sped up as you explained the interaction with your aunt and uncle making him shake his head and spin you around, jumping with you to the beat.

Pretty soon you were waving Avery over to join you. The songs all blended together, you could hardly tell where one ended and another began. The exception being the slow numbers where Avery now rocked back and forth on the tops of Eijiro’s feet between the two of you.

You pulled him aside after the cupid shuffle when sweat was dripping from both your brows and he had to abandon his jacket, even his vest came off. A plan was formed; he and Avery were gonna get drinks at the bar while you split off for a bathroom break.

It shouldn’t have been a surprise based on everything else you had seen of the resort but even the bathrooms were stunning. You admired the curved design of the ironwork on the stall door as you adjusted your dress when a group burst in. A wave of blush and white flooded the room, the bride and her maids, you could see the bottoms of their dresses under the stall door.

Caroline and two of her maids went for the handicap stall. They needed all the room they could get with the size of her dress, still shouting and gossiping enough that you wanted to stay in the stall until they cleared back out.

“I think the blonde groomsman really likes me!” One of them was going on, “He had his hands on my ass for like two whole songs!”

“His sister is really cute! I might shoot my shot with her! She looks so fine in that tight dress!”

You nearly smashed your head against the door.

“I still like that pretty redhead hero.” It was that same damn girl from earlier, you knew that stupid whiny ass voice.

“Just go for it then!” Caroline called from the stall. “He’s just with Y/N, he has to know he can do so much better.”

“Right! And I am so much better! Look at me!” They all cheered. “Imma show him how good he could really have it!”

Jocelyn rallied her friend, “Get him, girl! He’d happily take you over her, plus, you’re a bridesmaid! That’s like, every guy's fantasy, right? To fuck a bridesmaid!”

That was all you could handle. Enough was enough. You slid the lock on the stall door and stepped out to a bunch of little shocked gasps but no one said a word, only Caroline asking, “what the fuck is going on?“

You washed your hands, pumping the lavender soap into your palm, and letting it suds under the water, taking your time while they watched you in the mirror. “Seriously! What the fuck is happening!”

When you were drying your hands, your eyes made contact with the woman from the tunnel, and something possessed her to walk forward, right between you and the door.

“He might be your date, but, I’ll be leaving with him.”

You took a breath to calm yourself. “You’re really bad at listening, aren’t you?” She looked at you like you you were growing a second head. “I’m good at getting outta places I don’t wanna be, remember?” Except you didn’t use your quirk this time, you merely brushed past her. “Oh, and good luck with Eijiro. You’re gonna need it.”

An indignant whine followed you out of the restroom and you knew it wouldn’t be long before you were followed. That’s why you went straight for the bar, eyes scanning the group of people until you found your person.

He’d been with Avery still, talking with his back towards you and you didn’t think as your name was being called by a very angry bridesmaid. All you did was tug on his arm like you’d done on the airplane, whirling him around to face you but this time, you didn’t jam a finger into his chest. This time your fingers curled around his tie and you yanked him down, kissing him, hard.

“Y/N!” Your name was called again but you kept your lips on Eijiro’s, a hand on his cheek while Avery ran around you both.

“Y/N’s a little busy right now. You can come back later. Bye now.”

You still had a hold of his tie but needed air, breaking apart for a moment, panting. “Not that I’m complaining but, uh, I thought we weren’t doing this until we talked… until Sunday.”

“I got jealous.” You had no problem admitting.

“Jealous?”

“Things were said in the bathroom, she wanted to try and sleep with you and, and, I, I didn’t-“

He cradled your face in his hands and crashed his lips back against yours, not needing any further explanation. His tongue slid easily into your mouth and your eyes drifted closed loving every bit of it. It vaguely crossed your mind that there were at least a few onlookers, maybe more but, when he moved, bent you into a dip to make a show of the whole thing, you didn’t care a single bit.

“C’mon.” He breathed heavily, pulling you back out on the dance floor to get away from the group, not giving a damn about the screaming bridesmaid looking like a fool.

Eijiro had you back in his arms, kissing you and moving to the music perfectly. “Ya know, you don’t have anything to worry about right? You’ve got all my attention. I know we said we’d talk about everything, and we’ve been blurring lines these last few days, but I wanna make it perfectly clear right now that you’re the only one I’m interested in. The only person I want. Here at this party, in the whole fucking universe,” He had his hand on your cheek making sure you were looking right at him, “I don’t know how to make it more clear. Only you.”

“Screw Sunday,” You muttered and kissed him again, slower this time, wrapping your arms around his neck.

Then someone was clearing their throat and you heard comments about making such a scene.

“Let’s get outta here for a bit.” Eijiro took your hand and his coat and whisked you out of the hall.

7:35 pm

Maybe a little part of you was let down that he didn’t lead you off in the direction of the elevator but rather to the front doors of the resort, sliding his jacket over your shoulders instead of his own. In a way, this was better. The cool air cleared your head, felt great against your heated skin.

“So, screw Sunday?” He chuckled, keeping an arm around your waist when he saw the little patches of ice on the ground.

“I think we both know what we want, Eijiro. I don’t really need to wait until tomorrow to confirm that.” It had only been growing more and more painfully obvious to you over the last couple of days. “Still, there’s a lot of history between us to just go diving into things…”

He slowly nodded his head and you guys talked about it. All of it. Everything was brought out and into the open.

The fact you both had crushes on the other in high school, “Tetsutetsu liked me! Seriously!”

“Yeah!” Eijiro laughed, “Like, a lot! He told me he was gonna tell you and ask you on a date, I’m not sure why he never did.” You weren’t sure either but you could take a guess it had something to do with Kendo.

“And you didn’t tell me about your crush on me because of him…”

“And you didn’t tell me about yours on me because of Katsuki…”

You told him how it damn near broke your heart watching him fall in love with Katsuki but how it scared you, even more, the thought of losing him as a friend. That even after they broke up and you knew you still had feelings for him you were still too scared to admit it, not wanting to ruin your friendship.

The two of you had walked down a path, snow dusted but lit with lamplight and moonglow. “I’m probably an ass for saying this but, you’ve always meant more to me than Katsuki ever did. I spent three years with the guy, I was in love with him, but it took him breaking my heart and explaining what he felt for Izuku for me to realize I felt the same thing for you.”

He took your hand but still couldn’t quite meet your eye. “I wanted to tell you that night him and I split. I didn’t know how, there was a lot goin’ on in my head and fear got the better of me. I didn’t know what was gonna happen with my friendship with Kat and if you didn’t feel the same and I lost you too…”

“Eijiro,” you stood on tiptoes, only able to reach his jaw to kiss, “Not that it matters much now but I’ve always thought I couldn’t compare to what you had with Katsuki.”

“That’s because you don’t compare. You’ve always meant more to me, even when I didn’t know it.”

There was a buzzing in your head when he brought you up to a kiss, damn near dizzying when mixed with his words that you were still processing as cold fingers cupped your cheeks. “I want this,” he mumbled between another kiss, “I want you,” and then another,

“Even after you met my crazy ass family?” You chuckled and he caught the infectious laugh.

“Yeah, they don’t scare me.” He pushed your hair back behind your ear. “Admitting all this was the scariest thing I’ve ever done.”

You seriously doubted that will all the villains you two had faced but you definitely knew what he meant. But, now that the air was clear, intentions laid out, the fears that had been suffocating you for years were hardly there, banished to distant corners of your mind. You were confident that if they ever dared show themselves again, Eijiro would just chase them away.

And so you pulled him down to you, “I want you too, Eiji.”

“Heh, you’ve had me for a real long time now.”

Nearly an hour had passed before you walked up the path again back to the resort. Snow had started to fall in thick clumps now, clinging to both your hair and clothes. You could see the lights of the wedding still going on inside and even though you really didn’t want to head back there, you at least wanted to see Avery and your grandfather again before the night was over.

“Hell, look at that car, they’re driving like a jackass.” Eijiro shook his head watching the car driving towards you both, speeding and swerving horribly, nearly hitting two parked cars in the process.

“Drunk or texting?”

“Either way we should do something, right?”

Before you had a chance to answer, a person stepped into the crosswalk, flashing yellow lights that should have signaled the car to slow down, they didn’t though… but your whole world did.

Illuminated in the headlights was Avery, headphones in their ears, looking down at the game in their hands.

“GO!” Eijiro shouted knowing you could get to them faster but you were already gone.

A/N: I wanted to do something special for this chapter and draw Y/N's red dress. But, because it's a Reader Insert, I didn't really know what to make them look like... so, I let google decide! I wrote down a punch of physical traits and let google randomly select what the Reader would look like for this particular artwork. I hope you all like it ❤️

[doctorstethoscope]

The Right Chapter 24 || Aaron Hotchner x Fem Reader

Happy Saturday my loves! A little fluff/angst double whammy for your afternoon :) 

contains: grouchy aaron, food mention, description of anxiety, canon-typical description of murder

wordcount: 2.4k

“I seem to remember you being the one lecturing me about the bureau’s generous sick leave policy not all that long ago,” You told Aaron as you gently shoved him back into bed three days after he’d broken his leg. 

“I also recall that in that situation, you were the one who was injured,” Aaron grumbles, and you roll your eyes. 

“Yes, and you stayed home to take care of me. Now, I’m returning the favor,” you reminded him. 

“I’m not going to get a brain bleed, I just need the leg to heal. You don’t need to stay with me all day while I sit in bed.” He argues.

“You’re right, but I think we both know that if I wasn’t here, you wouldn’t stay in bed, and seeing as how you can’t get as far as the bathroom without my help, that might present a problem.” You chastise him. “I’m not coming home to you bleeding out in the hallway because you fell over and couldn’t help yourself.”

“You make me sound like I’m eighty years old.” he scoffed. 

“Well, if you agree to wear a life alert, maybe I’ll go back to work.” You said, throwing your head against the pillows. There’s a few moments of silence, punctuated by Aaron’s deep sigh. 

“I’m glad you’re here. Sorry I’m being grumpy.” He apologized. “I just don’t want you to have to take care of me.” 

“You’re injured and in pain. You’re allowed to be grumpy,” you told him. “And I plan on taking care of you for the rest of my life, so you should start to get used to it.”

“Can I hold you for a little while? You don’t have to go near my leg,” he says, knowing you’ve been extra-gentle to avoid his injury since you’ve been home together. “You could put your head on my chest and I could just… hold you,” Aaron asks shyly, and your heart melts. 

“Of course, baby.” you say, snuggling your torso in close, leaning your head against his pec and resisting the urge to toss your legs over his. “See? Sick leave isn’t all that bad,” you tease him.

“No, I suppose not,” he smiles, rubbing an arm up and down your back.

“Jack is so excited to have you home.” You comment.

“Not that it matters, I can’t even take him to the park or ride a bike with him.” Aaron grouses. 

“Aaron, he’s over the moon just to have time to spend with you. He could sit here in bed with you watching Toy Story on a loop for the next six weeks and I’m sure he’d tell you it was the best month and a half of his life.” 

“A month and a half… I’m gonna go crazy.” Aarom remarks, more to himself than to you. 

“You’re gonna have to take up a hobby. Maybe knitting,” you snort, and Aaron smiles. 

“Yeah, or braiding or something,” he agrees offhandedly.

“Braiding?” You ask. 

“Oh, I mean, or maybe I could get back into Chess, finally get good enough to beat Spencer--” 

“No, no, back up, what made you bring up braiding?” 

“Uh… it’s just… something I’ve been thinking about in case we ever, you know, made a decision, and felt like maybe---” 

“Aaron, spit it out,” you laughed. 

“Just… if we had kids, or a daughter, I would want to be able to do her hair. Because if you’re not home, I don’t want to be the dad that doesn’t know how to do his daughter’s hair.” He confesses, the embarrassment clear in his tone. You place a kiss to his chest. 

“You are a good man, Aaron Hotchner.” 

“I’m glad you think so, anyways.”

“Alright, you’re getting grumpy and self-deprecating, which is a bad combo. You need a nap.” You instruct him teasingly. 

“You’ll be here when I wake up?” He asks, tightening his hold on you just slightly. 

“Of course, love. You go ahead and rest. I’m not going anywhere.”

You went back to work a little over a week later, when Aaron was mostly off of his pain meds, and able to get himself around the apartment without any assistance. You were still staying there when you weren’t on a case, and found yourself grateful that you’d decided to sign a month-to-month lease-- you weren’t sure what the point was of keeping up the pretense of separate places anymore. But, then again, with Aaron injured, now probably wasn’t the best time for a move. You're working through a few scenarios in your head when Spencer interrupts your train of thought. 

“How’s Hotch feeling?” He asks as you and the rest of the team board the jet to head home after a case. 

“He’s doing better,” you tell him. “The pain isn’t bothering him as much and he’s getting a little bit of his range of motion back. I’m still trying my best to keep him in bed, but I’m sure you can imagine how well that’s going,” you tell him with a smile. 

“Well, tell him I can’t wait to have him back. I hate all this paperwork,” Morgan cuts in with a playful chuckle, and you shove at his shoulder. 

“I’m trying to keep him home, Derek. Besides, we all know that Spencer is doing most of the paperwork for you,” you called him out, and Emily and JJ laughed.

“He’s just so fast,” Morgan defends himself, and now everyone is laughing. 

“We do want him back,” Emily tells you. “But not until he’s good and ready. And then, you know, maybe even a few weeks after that. Wouldn’t kill him to take a vacation.” 

“I’m not so sure about that,” JJ smirks. 

“Please, he’s already itching to get back to work. I think he’d leave me if I asked for a vacation.” You tell Emily.

“No, if you asked for a vacation he’d buy a plane ticket in an instant. And he’d bring his work phone and his computer to the beach and try to solve a murder from underneath a palm tree,” Morgan argued playfully. 

“Sometimes when we take a case somewhere warm, I stand in the parking lot for five minutes and face the sun. And if you close your eyes, it’s almost like a vacation.” You say. 

“Weren’t you literally taken hostage the last time you did that?” Spencer asks, and you roll your eyes goodnaturedly. 

“Well, there goes my tropical getaway,” you tease. 

With Morgan as acting unit chief, paperwork deadlines are considerably more flexible, which is to say nonexistent. Strauss would probably have a field day when she went to review the case file, but that wasn’t your problem. And, quite frankly, as you rushed to your car to get home to your boys, you couldn’t care less. 

When you swing the door open, you interrupt a very spirited game of Connect Four between Jack and Aaron. You notice that Aaron has at least three opportunities to make a winning move, all of which he ignores in favor of allowing Jack to push his chips in at random. 

“You’re home!” Jack exclaims when he sees you, scrambling across the living room and wordlessly commanding to be held by you. 

You hoist him up onto your hip, not without difficulty. He was getting big, and it made you a little sad. It strikes you that you won’t be able to do this forever, wrap him up in your arms and make him feel small and safe and secure. You squeeze him tighter. “Were you good for your daddy while I was gone?” 

“Uh-huh.” He nods, pulling back to look at you and running the collar of your shirt in between his thumb and forefinger absentmindedly. 

“And was Daddy good? He stayed off of his booboo leg?” You asked the only Hotchner who would give you a truthful answer. 

“Daddy was good.” Jack confirms, and you narrow your eyes skeptically. 

“Did he bribe you to say that? Ice cream for breakfast, or a new comic book?” You ask. 

“No. We watched Toy Story and I learned checkers. I had cereal for breakfast, not ice cream.” He tells you, and you relent. 

“Sounds like you had a lot of fun, bug.” You say, putting him down and crossing the living room to sit next to Aaron on the couch, who leaned over to press a kiss to the top of your head and placed a hand in your lap. 

“I did. But I missed you.” Jack tells you, climbing onto the couch next to you. 

“He’s not the only one,” Aaron whispers, pressing another kiss to your hair. 

“I missed you both, very very much,” you tell them, snuggling closer into Aaron and placing a hand in Jack’s hair. 

“We had pasta for dinner. I saved you a plate,” Aaron tells you. 

“Thank you, baby.” You tell him. “But, I’m pretty sure it’s past somebody’s bedtime…” You mention, and Jack pouts immediately. 

“I told him he could stay up until you got home, but he promised he wasn’t going to fight when it was time for bed, right buddy?” Aaron reminds his son. 

“Come on, sweet boy. I’ll tuck you in,” You tell him, pecking Aaron’s lips briefly before scooping Jack up off of the sofa and bringing him to his bed, tucking him in with extra stories and kisses to make up for the nights you missed while you were gone. 

When you come back into the kitchen, Aaron has heated up the leftover pasta and is waiting for you at the counter. 

“You didn’t have to get up, I would have done that,” you tell Aaron, knowing full well that he’d never actually listen.

“How was the case?” He asks as you settle in and start to eat. 

“It wasn’t too bad. We got the guy to surrender without hurting any of the hostages. A few of them were in pretty rough shape, but they should all recover.” you tell him in between bites. 

“And the team? Everyone’s doing okay?” 

“We’re all good, babe. JJ’s getting really good at the geographic profile, but I think it annoys her to stay at the station when we’re all out.” 

“She’s pregnant. It’s not worth the risk,” Aaron reminds you. 

“I know, honey, but it’s still annoying. It’s kind of like when you break your leg and you’re not allowed to go to work but you still have to hear all about it from your girlfriend,” you point out, and he smirks at you. 

“Morgan’s doing okay? The field agents aren’t giving him any trouble?” 

“Morgan can handle himself just fine against any cocky field agent. You don’t need to worry about us, sweetheart. We’re okay. You trained us up good,” you smiled at him, and he blushed, rolling his eyes at you. “We want you back, but we want you back healthy,” you tell him.

“Well, the doctor cleared me to start PT in two weeks. So hopefully I’ll be back sooner rather than later,” Aaron tells you. 

“That's great news! So the cast is coming off soon?” You ask. 

“Yeah, he wants to see me again to take it off and give me the final go-ahead for PT.”

“And you’re gonna take it easy at PT, because you know you can’t rush recovery, right?” You remind him. 

“Yes, mom,” he teases you with a smile. 

“It’s my turn to fret over you. Karma’s a bitch,” you smile at him as you get up to take his plate to the dishwasher. As you do so, his phone rings. 

“Hotchner,” he says into the receiver. “Woah, woah. Slow down, please. Are you okay?” Aaron says, and you turn around immediately, concerned. “Garcia, hold on. I’m going to put you on speaker. Yeah, she’s home. She’s here with me.” Aaron says, his eyes flicking over to you as he pulls the phone away from his ear and adjusts the volume. 

“Okay, so, I have been keeping an eye on Josh’s arrest record, awaiting his arraignment and his court dates so that we could throw a big ‘Josh is in prison for life party,’” she tells you, spitting out information a mile a minute. “There hadn’t been any movement for a few days, and I couldn’t figure out why, but I decided to check one more time before I went to bed tonight, and Josh’s dealer posted bail for him four days ago.”

“What?” You say. You heard her, heard every word she said in perfect clarity. But there had to be a mistake, right?

“Garcia, what do you have on the dealer? What has Josh been doing for the past four days?” Aaron asks, and you hear him, but you also… don’t. Everything sounds like you have cotton stuck inside your ears, or like you’re underwater. This couldn’t really be happening, could it?

“That’s a trigger,” you mumble quietly, and you think that Aaron doesn’t hear you, he’s so focused on his conversation with Garcia that you try hopelessly to follow. He turns to you, after a moment, tucking his phone back into his pocket. 

“What did you say, doll?”  He asks you. 

“That’s a trigger. You know, how we say that serial killers have triggers that make them start killing people. This is probably a trigger to start killing,” you say, staring at a spot of dirt on the tile. Jack must have tracked it on his cleats, and Aaron couldn’t mop with his injury. You should really clean that. You needed to get the dirt off the floor. Mop, mop, where did Aaron keep the mop? You pulled it out of the closet and were headed for the stain when you felt Aaron’s hands come to rest on your shoulders, blocking your path. 

“Hon, what are you doing?’ He asks, trying to make eye contact with you, which you avoided. 

“The floor needs to be mopped.” You answer, emotionless. 

“Why don’t you come sit down, the floor can wait,” he says, trying to guide you towards the sofa. 

“Aaron, your knee! Go sit. Go, go. I just need to get the floor clean. Please just go sit and I can fix it. It’s okay. I got it.” You got more and more worked up as you continued to stare at the dirt, watching the stain grow as your vision blurred, as if the dirt were mocking you. 

“Hey, hey hey. Where’d you go, angel? Come back here with me, love. You’re gonna be okay. I’m not gonna let anything happen to you.” He says, wrapping his arms around you. 

You’d never wished more that you believed him. 

tagging:  @romanogersendgame @wanniiieeee      @zheezs14      @greeneyedblondie44 @angelic-kisses13  @baumarvel @ssamorganhotchner  @ijustwannaread2k19    @rexit-mo @shmaptainhotchnersmain @qtip-blog @averyhotchner  @the-modernmary @itsmytimetoodream @choppa-style @hotforhotchner11 @infinite-tides @isthatme-thatsme @g-l-pierce @bakugouswh0r3 @ssahotchie @sleepyreaderreads

[izzyfandoms]

Like Lipstick Stains On His Skin

SHIPS: Remile

CHARACTERS: Emile Picani, Remy Sanders

WARNING: Anxiety, references to heartbreak

GENERAL TAGLIST: @quillfics42 @aj-draws @phantomofthesanderssides @phlying-squirrel @sly-is-my-name-loving-is-my-game @because-were-fam-ily @imtryingthisout @a-creepycookie @emo-disaster @littlestr @spooky-scary-virgil @fuyel @mimsidoodles @soupgremlin @aroaceagenderfluid @birdsbookshiddeninrealbirdsskin @quirkalurk @gingers-trashy-stuff @iinyxtello @justaqueercactus @melodiread @mrbubbajones @glassferns @pun-master-logan @gayturtlez @k1ngtok1

Masterpost

A Series Of Soulmate AUs Masterpost

Emile Picani had been in love with his best friend for as long as he could remember.

The moment he had first laid eyes on Remy Sanders, his initial thought had been that that was the most attractive person he’d ever seen. And, after getting to know him better, Emile’s thoughts only solidified; Remy was funny and sarcastic, smarter than anyone gave him credit for, and casually flirty in a way that made Emile’s heart stop and pound and ache all at once.

And Emile’s feelings had only strengthened as they grew up together.

From awkward teenagers still figuring out their sexualities to adults with their own homes and jobs and independent lives, Remy and Emile had stayed friends through it all, sticking together like glue since they’d first met in middle school. They knew almost everything about each other, and they were best friends.

But that was just it – they were friends. Nothing more.

And Emile was... fine with that. He was fine.

He loved Remy. Loved, loved, loved Remy.

And, sure, it hurt when he was with Remy, but not really with Remy, not in the way Emile always wanted to be. It hurt to be around him and know that it would only ever be platonic, that his best friend would never love him back in quite the same he loved him.

But time spent with Remy was better than time spent with anyone or anything else. And Emile knew that Remy cared deeply for him, too.

Emile could take the heartache if it meant he never lost his best friend.

When Emile heard the knock on his front door, he immediately recognised it as Remy’s. He jumped up – perhaps a little too enthusiastically and excitedly, but the only person that could see him right now was himself, so there was nobody around to judge. He rushed over to the door and pulled it open. Remy’s eyes lit up when he saw Emile, and he grinned.

Emile would never admit aloud to the tremble of his heart in his chest at the expression on his best friend’s face, but he did immediately squish down the traitorous hope that emerged every time Remy looked at him like that. Which happened almost every time they saw each other.

“Hey, Remy! You’re here early,” Emile said.

“Hope that’s chill, babe. I was not watching the time.”

(Emile did his best to ignore the feelings that the use of the nickname ‘babe’ stirred up.)

Remy’s sunglasses were propped up on his head, as they often were, and his warm brown eyes were on display. He was wearing his signature black leather jacket, too, as he usually was, with a white crop-top – with the word ‘bitch’ across the front in block capitals – underneath, exposing his midriff.

It took effort for Emile to keep his eyes from drifting downwards.

“It’s fine, Remy,” Emile smiled, keeping his gaze firmly fixed on his best friend’s face. “You’re always welcome here, you know that.”

Remy laughed. “If you keep saying that, I’ll end up showing up here at 4am when I’m drunk.”

“Well, I would rather you came here than go somewhere else and get yourself hurt.”

“Even if that means I wake you up from whatever candy-coloured, cartoon-filled dreams you’re having?”

“Mhm!”

“Damn, gurl, you really are sweeter than sugar, huh? How the hell did someone like you end up being besties with someone like me?”

“Aww, Remy, I think you give yourself too little credit.”

Remy laughed again. “Nah, babes, I love myself. I’m just kinda an asshole sometimes.”

“Isn’t everyone sometimes?” Emile said.

“Not you, apparently. Come on, you’re basically an angel, like, 24/7 and I have legit no idea how you do it. You’ve got the patience of a saint and a smile that literally gives me toothache just looking at it. You’re downright adorable.”

Elation bubbled up in Emile’s heart, and those bubbles filled his chest and spilled over in the forms of happy giggles. He covered his smile with his hand, and practically melted on the spot at the soft, fond look that crossed Remy’s face for just a moment – almost unnoticeable, but Emile paid enough attention that he saw it – before being replaced with Remy’s usual grin.

“Do you want to come in?” Emile asked, still smiling.

“Sure.”

Emile stepped to the side, and Remy’s arm brushed against his own as he walked past him. He hoped the stuttered breath at the contact wasn’t obvious.

“I like the new tie,” Remy commented as Emile shut the door and turned to face him.

Emile perked up. “Oh, you noticed!”

“Course I did,” Remy said. “I’ve seen every tie you’ve got like a million times. I could tell that one was new basically as soon as you opened the door.”

“Aww, Remy... you’re great. The best friend a guy could have!”

Emile’s smile was soft, fond, and so, so caring, and – for just a moment – he could have sworn that Remy looked flustered to be the recipient of it: wide-eyed and as still as a statue. But then, the moment passed, and Remy’s expression smoothed over and returned to normal, and Emile was sure that he’d only imagined it.

“It’s nothing, babe,” Remy said, waving his hand dismissively. “You noticed when I got that new skirt last week, even though it’s identical to my old one-”

“Your old one had a big hole in it! The new one didn’t.”

“Yeah, so I had to get a new one ‘cos it made my ass look great and I wasn’t ‘bout to give that shit up, you know? Ooh, and I especially love it paired with those heels that get everyone looking at my legs, ‘cos that combo makes me look fab AF.” Remy paused. “You know what, I think that’s kinda beside the point. Any-gay, you noticed ‘cos you’re cool like that, so me noticing your tie is, like, nothing.”

“Aww, Remy,” Emile reached forward, and poked Remy’s arm. “It’s not nothing, most people wouldn’t even be able to tell! You’re my best friend, and it makes me really, really happy that you notice these kinds of things.”

Remy’s expression softened. “Well, then I guess it makes it pretty special then, huh?”

Emile felt like screaming. Or kissing Remy. Or kissing Remy and then screaming.

(Though, really, if Emile ever got the chance to kiss Remy, he’d be too busy savouring it to even think of doing anything else. Too busy savouring the feeling of warm lips against his own, of Remy’s gentle hand against his cheek, of a chest pressed against his own, of being so close to the one person he wanted to be close to more than anything else in the world. But he never thought he’d ever get the chance.)

Emile stumbled over his words, awkwardly shifting from one foot to the other as he fiddled with his hands. He had no idea how he was supposed to respond to that, and wasn’t sure if he even could without losing control of his mouth and accidentally confessing his undying love for his best friend.

“Um...” he trailed off.

Remy laughed awkwardly, running his fingers through his hair and glancing away.

“So, uh... what did- what did your patients think of your new tie?”

“Oh!” Emile perked up again, at once both disappointed and relieved by the return to the original topic of conversation. “Yeah, two of them complimented it. And someone said the red was a nice change from the usual pastels, so I think it was a big hit!”

He smiled, and Remy immediately smiled back.

“Nice.”

“I think the pink tie’s still my favourite, though.”

“Mine, too. It’s a classic Emile colour.”

Emile laughed. “There are classic Emile colours?”

“Sure, there are! You’ve got your baby pink, baby blue and, you know,” Remy reached out, tugging gently on Emile’s cardigan sleeve. “You’ve got your cardigan-colour. I’ve, like, barely ever seen you without this thing. How many of these do you have? Like, a hundred?”

Emile giggled again, covering his mouth with his hand. “I have two. And they’re both a little different!”

“Right, right,” Remy nodded. “One’s, like, a little bigger.”

“Mhm! And this one’s a bit softer.”

Remy nodded again, slowly and with an amused tint to his smile. “So, are we gonna, like, move, or are we gonna stand in your hallway forever?”

“Oh, right!” Emile said, like he’d only just remembered that they were still stood at his front door.  

He moved past Remy, gesturing for his friend to follow as he went into the next room and sat down on the couch. Remy immediately flopped onto it beside him, getting comfortable on the soft, squishy cushions. He leant back lazily and stretched.

“Ooh,” Remy finally said, straightening up. “I bought a new lipstick yesterday!”

“Ooh, what colour?”

“It’s, like, pink. It matches the shoes I bought last week, and it makes me look killer. I’m gonna get all the guys’ eyes on me, so it sucks that I can’t wear it when I’m, like, actually looking to kiss strangers, you know?”

Emile ignored the pang of pain in his heart, and did his best to smile encouragingly.

“Yeah, you’ve mentioned,” he said. “I- I bet you look great in it. And it- it's a shame you can’t wear it when you want to.”

“Yeah, I’m kinda tempted to, you know, but, like, if I’m wearing lipstick, then I won’t know if any marks my lips make are ‘cos of my lipstick or ‘cos of soulmate shit, right?” Remy continued, gesturing vaguely with his hand. “And, like, what’s the pointing of making out with people if I can’t also know if they’re my soulmate?”

“Right.”

“So, I can only wear lipstick when I’m not looking for people to kiss. Sucks, but it’s gotta be done.”

Emile nodded slowly. Then, he paused, and his brow creased in thought.

“You don’t usually wear lipstick when you’re with me,” he said. “Even when we’re going out and it’s just us, no- no kissing strangers involved. How come?”

Remy froze in place.

“Uh...”

Emile blinked at him. He tilted his head questioningly. “Hmm?”

He could practically see the cogs turning in Remy’s head, while he searched for an answer that he obviously did not have or did not want to share. He looked... flustered, in a way that Emile had almost never seen him before – opening and closing his mouth a few times – and Emile just couldn’t seem to figure out why.

Remy and Emile just stared at each other, neither knowing quite what to say to the other. Emile was confused, not wanting to speak up at the risk of interrupting whatever Remy wanted to say. He also absolutely would not let his mind wander to the any possibilities that would fill him with hope.

A crushed hope was definitely not something Emile wanted to deal with, not right now.

Remy cleared his throat. He swallowed.

“Um- there’s...” he then huffed, looking down at his lap and running his fingers through his hair. He let out an awkward laugh, and then looked back up at Emile. “I... okay,” he sighed. “There’s something I think I should probs tell you.”

Emile stared at him, blinking. “What is it?” He asked.

“It, uh...” Remy sighed again. “I have no idea how you’d react to this. The thing I want to tell you... it could probs mess up our friendship.”

“Remy...” Emile said softly. “You’re my best friend. You can tell me anything, and I promise you this won’t mess anything up, okay?”

“You don’t even know what I’m about to say.”

“I don’t need to. I know you.” Emile leant forward slightly, giving Remy his best attempt at a soft, reassuring smile.

Remy stared at Emile for a second. Then he laughed again, a strange mix of awkwardness and nervousness and with a hint of slight joy, too – with a confusing, even a little alarming, effect. His eyes never left Emile’s smile.

“Jeez, babe. How are you making this so much harder but so much easier at, like, the same time?”

Emile blinked. “Um... is that good?”

“Dunno. But...” Remy took a deep breath. He clenched his hands into fists, looking up at the ceiling for a moment before he turned back to Emile. “Okay... wow, I’ve wanted to tell you this for forever, but, like, fuck, this is terrifying.”

Emile’s expression creased with concern. He reached forward, looking him over worriedly, and rested his hand on his best friend’s shoulder, squeezing reassuringly.

“Remy, are you okay? You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to,” he frowned slightly.

“No, I- I want to tell you. God, you have no idea how many times I’ve thought about telling you about my feelings.”

Feelings. Feelings, feelings, feelings.

Did that mean what Emile thought it meant?

The hope rose up, though he tried so hard to squash it down, but it was like trying to fit something large in a container too small and he could hardly keep it from filling up and overwhelming him. His breath stuttered, and he was sure he tensed up and froze in place for a moment, before he finally regained his composure and physically relaxed.

“Feelings?” He asked, in a voice slightly more strangled than before. “What feelings?”

Remy let out a bark of laughter. “Yeah, that’s- that’s what I’ve gotta talk to you about. My- my feelings... for you.” He took another deep breath. “I... I love you, Em.”

“I love you, too,” Emile answered back immediately. “Haven’t we said this before?”

They had. The two best friends had been friends for so long: exchanging ‘I love you’s was practically part of their routine, by now.

But it had always been platonic, at least from Remy’s side.

Right?

“We- we have...” Remy said slowly. “But that’s not what I meant. I love you. Like, love love. Like the head over heels in love kind. The- the I can never stop thinking ‘bout you kind. The, fuck, you’re so gorgeous kind. The kind that means I’m, like, basically always thinking about you and about kissing you and about how, wow, you’re- you’re just amazing. I mean, damn, I know last week when I told you that you’re my favourite person, I kinda said it like a joke, but I meant it. I like really, really meant it.”

When Remy realised that he was rambling, he clamped his hand over his mouth, like it was the only way to get the words – the pretty, pretty words that had set Emile’s heart aflutter – to stop tumbling out.

Emile was frozen.

He stared, wide-eyed at his best friend.

“Oh,” was the only thing he could say, in a strangled voice.

He was sure that his face was already bright red.

“Great.” Remy sighed, removing his palm from his mouth and burying his face in his hands. “I’ve really fucked this up, haven’t I?” He mumbled just loud enough to be audible. “I- I know you don’t feel the same way, babe, and it’s fine. It’s totally, totally fine. I’m happy just being friends with you, ‘kay? You- you don’t have to return anything. It’s- it’s whatever. It’s chill.”

Emile’s brain had broken. He could hardly think anything other than the words ‘Remy’ and ‘love’ just over and over on repeat.

Instead of saying anything in response to that – as he wasn’t even sure if he could – he just suddenly burst into nervous, delighted laugher. Emile was sure he sounded like he was crazy, especially when Remy turned to him with a bewildered expression.

“Did- did you really mean that?” Emile asked when he could finally collect his thoughts enough to speak, which took slightly longer than he would have liked it to.

Remy blinked. Then, his expression softened.

“Of course, I did,” he said. “I’d never lie to you about something like this, Em.”

“So, you... you really mean it?” Emile asked hopefully.

“Yeah. Yeah, I did,” Remy said. He hesitated for a moment, before nervously adding: “Do you- I mean, is it-”

“I love you, too.”

There was a beat.

Remy stared back at him, wide-eyed. The moment of silence was somehow simultaneously nerve-racking and also soft and so, so exciting, because, oh my gosh, Remy loved him. Remy loved him, he loved him, he loved him!

Love! Love! Love!

And, oh, heavens above, Emile was about to start wiggling excitedly because, gosh, he really, really just had to kiss Remy, right now. And maybe – maybe, maybe, maybe – Remy would say yes if he asked.

Emile let out another giggle, covering his mouth with his hand.

“You... you do?” Remy asked, eyes wide and hopeful, and Emile was suddenly glad that the sunglasses were propped up on his head, as his expression was always much easier to read that way.

“Yeah,” Emile responded, equally soft. “I really, really do.”

“Wow. Just- just wow.”

Emile reached forward, impulsively cupping Remy’s cheek with his hand, and Remy froze. His eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.

“Oh, gosh- sorry,” Emile apologised. “I should’ve asked-”

He moved to take his hand away, but was stopped by Remy covering Emile’s hand with his own.

“You’re good- you're- yes. Yes.”

And, well, that was exactly the answer that Emile had wanted to hear.

He leant forward, and finally – finally! – did the thing he’d most wanted to do for years. Years. Since the moment he’d first laid eyes on Remy, he’d thought about it.

He kissed Remy.

Softly. Carefully. Holding Remy’s face so delicately like he was holding something precious.

And the way Remy was kissing him back...

Emile had seen Remy kiss people before – strangers, friends – and he’d always kissed them like he was doing it for fun, not love. He’d never seen Remy kiss anyone as gently as Remy was kissing him, right now.

Bubbles of delight and fireworks of excitement were going off in Emile’s heart and his mind.

He sighed happily into the kiss, and he could suddenly feel Remy smile against his lips.

Emile broke the kiss with another delighted giggle and Remy couldn’t help but just start laughing with him, too. And, of course, that just made Emile’s giggles louder and more enthusiastic.

He was so focused on the laughing and the delighted feeling in his chest from the fact that he had just kissed Remy, that Emile didn’t immediately notice that Remy’s lips were suddenly pink – a light, pastel pink that certainly hadn’t been there before.

And, in fact, it was Remy who halted the laughter first, by freezing in place and staring – yet again wide-eyed – at Emile’s own lips.

Emile paused, and tilted his head in confusion.

“Remy?”

Remy opened and closed his mouth a few times, never taking his eyes off of Emile’s lips.

“Em... your- your lips.”

Emile blinked. He reached a hand up to his own lips, and swiped a finger across them. He then looked back down at his hand, and found nothing – no blood, no anything.

He paused, and then turned his head to look at the mirror that hung on an opposite wall.

His eyes landed on his reflection, and he finally noticed that there was a smear of shiny silver across his lips that definitely, definitely hadn’t been there before.

Emile sucked in a breath as Remy turned his head to look into the mirror, and he realised that Remy’s lips were now a lipstick-like pink, when he certainly hadn’t been wearing any just before the pair had kissed.

“We’re-” Remy started.

“Oh,” Emile breathed.

“Oh,” Remy echoed.

They turned their heads to stare at each other, equally wide-eyed and shocked and excited.

Soulmates.

They were soulmates.

And then Remy surged forward, and kissed Emile again.

[owl-with-a-pen]

Brainy getting Kara a cat that looks like Streaky after she gets out of the Phantom Zone

- Cute! Of course! x

Adjusting to life back in National City had been far harder than Kara had anticipated.

Never was that more apparent than when she found herself alone.

Not that she’d been alone very much. Since her family had come to her rescue, Kara hadn’t really been permitted that much time to herself. Alex had been bringing over care packages that she and Kelly had put together almost three times daily, and that was only during the hours Kara was home. At work, it appeared it was Nia’s turn to play the role of overbearing minder. She’d been sticking to Kara’s side for just about every second of the workday. Kara thought it was kind of sweet, all things considered, it was just… Nia was about as subtle about it as a brick through the window - or Brainy when he’d turned up in CatCo’s elevator last year.

Speaking of Brainy, he was just about the only friend Kara hadn’t been seeing on a daily basis. Even Lena was making her rounds, trying to find any excuse to get Kara out of the apartment or – failing that – inviting herself over unprompted.

Kara appreciated everyone’s attention, she really did, but as she sat there on her couch, curled up in her comfiest cardigan and sweats combo on the first day off she’d had all week… she couldn’t help but feel some semblance of relief.

As much as she loved her family, she hated hurting them, and when her mask finally came crumbling down after days of keeping it plastered to her face, Kara knew that was exactly what she would have inadvertently caused.

Alex may have let her cry in her arms for a solid thirty minutes after she’d stumbled into J’onn’s Tower-turned-ship, and even seen her at her worst on the days that followed when she’d slept over for those first few terrifying nights… but Kara couldn’t bear to let her sister hold onto that weight for longer than it felt necessary. She was Supergirl, the hero National City looked up to, that even her friends looked up to, and she hated causing any of them the same kind of heartache that they’d felt in her absence.

So, yes, maybe the stillness of her apartment was kind of stifling. Maybe every shadow that jutted across her walls reminded her of the Phantoms that had loomed overhead in that awful alien dimension, but at least when she was alone, jumping at something so fiercely she scorched a wall, or grabbing a pillow so hard it exploded into feathers in her hands could be hidden from any prying eyes.

She would get through this eventually. She just needed time to sort out her head, to focus on the positives, to…

Kara was thrown from her thoughts somewhat abruptly when she heard three quick knocks at her apartment door.

She frowned, lowering the TV’s volume as she heaved herself from the blanket and pillow nest she’d made at the couch corner. She padded over to the door curiously, relaxing into her heightened sense of hearing just enough to pick up on two distinct heartbeats on the other side. Although, one was… far less human in nature than she had expected, which certainly raised a big question.

When she opened the door to find Brainy holding a cat out to her much in the same way someone might offer flowers, she got her answer.

The cat, at least, seemed perfectly content to hang from Brainy’s outstretched hands, its back legs kicked up towards her, large amber eyes wide and unblinking.

It opened its mouth to yawn, as though it had grown used – if not bored – to this kind of behaviour.

“Hey Brainy,” Kara said, her eyes about as wide as the cat’s. “Um, what’s going on?”

“I brought you a gift!” Brainy announced, lifting the cat higher as though to emphasise his point. The cat, to its credit, didn’t appear to find this perplexing at all.

That made one person, at least.

Kara blinked in stunned silence, rubbing at the side of her head. “You got me a cat?” she asked, posing the question in a half joking manner. When Brainy’s eager smile only widened, realisation finally set in. Kara’s mouth fell open. “Wait. You got me a cat?”

“Indeed,” Brainy said enthusiastically, striding past Kara into the room, cat in tow.

Kara could only stare at the space he’d left behind. She shook her head, quickly turning towards him. “Why…?”

Brainy brought the cat closer to his chest, almost contemplatively, though he continued to hold it at that same awkward angle.

The cat licked its nose in disgruntled acceptance.

“Well, since you asked,” Brainy began, “I have been studying… both the medical and psychological benefits of having pets recently. Cats offer companionship, but did you also know that their purrs have curative properties, and petting them has been proven to work against stress and anxiety?” Brainy’s expression turned serious suddenly and he swivelled towards her, thrusting the cat out at her with not even a word of warning. “With that in mind, I present to you, Streaky 2.0!”

Kara reached for the cat instinctively, hastily taking it beneath the shoulders before transferring it into her own arms. Old habit kicked in almost immediately, and she found herself pulling the cat towards her shoulder with all the gentleness she’d put into practice holding this particular cat’s namesake. The cat sagged into her arms in seconds, kicking up a fuss as its whiskers tickled curiously beneath her chin.

“Streaky two point-” Kara began, only to be interrupted when the cat began to purr in soft breathy beats against her chest. Its damp nose probed her neck, tracking her scent. “Oh… oh.” Animals had always seemed to take a liking to Kara, that was true, but this was strange even for her.

Kara squinted at Brainy suspiciously. “This is a real cat, right?”

Brainy scoffed. “Why, do you think I would build one?” His eyebrows drew together suddenly, a deadly serious expression. “I did consider it. A cat as indestructible as Supergirl would be an incredible feat of science. But, no. This is a regular cat. I retrieved him from a shelter.” He leaned in, nearly conspiratorially. “Would you like to see the adoption paperwork?”

Kara snorted. “Y’know, I think I’ll take your word for it.” Her smile sobered as the cat continued to purr up a storm in her arms, closing his eyes into a half squint in total feline bliss. “You really got him for me?”

“Of course.” Brainy softened suddenly, folding his arms. He bit his lip, as though searching for the right words. After a moment’s consideration, he smiled awkwardly. “You were… in pain. Struggling with life back from the Phantom Zone. Additionally,” he gestured bluntly around the room, “you currently live alone.”

Kara laughed bleakly. “Thanks for the reminder.”

“What I mean to say,” Brainy hastened, “is that cats make people happy, and Streaky made you very happy. You felt more grounded learning to care for him, however, I believe this time it is time for your companion to take care of you.” When Brainy smiled again, it was far more relaxed. “I spent many days at the shelter making note of every cat’s characteristics, vocal patterns, requirements of other’s attention, and this cat surpassed all of my expectations.” He nodded succinctly. “He is loyal, I am certain of that.”

Kara grinned. “Well, he certainly let you carry him around like a crazy person.”

“Nia tells me cats are resilient creatures,” Brainy said with a shrug, “this one especially so. I think he will make an excellent fit.”

Kara’s smile widened further. “Brainy… this is incredibly sweet. I don’t know what to-” Her eyes widened. “Oh, I don’t have any supplies.”

“Fear not!” Brainy said, finger raised. “I have come prepared with the basics, although I am sure you would prefer to personalise your pet’s belongings in the long term.”

Kara rolled her eyes. Of course Brainy would have come bearing all the necessities for pet care. He was never one to do anything inefficiently. She pressed her lips into the cat’s warm fur, just between his ears. He was a little softer than her old Streaky, although she liked those small differences. It made this cat symbolise more to her than just the nostalgia she knew Brainy was hoping to achieve, but also the sense of a new beginning.

In truth, Kara hadn’t been considering getting a pet any time soon, not when she had so little time even for herself. As Supergirl, it felt wrong, somehow, to have another living thing rely on her as its sole care giver.

But, Brainy was right. Cats had always been her soft spot, and this one already felt like it was healing something deep inside of her, stitching an old wound that wasn’t even visible on the surface. Maybe having a pet around wasn’t such a bad idea, after all, especially when this cat was as perfect as Brainy had insinuated.

Besides, it got awfully lonely here at night…

Kara glanced up at Brainy suddenly. “Wait, is this why you haven’t been around the last few days? You were out scouting for the perfect cat?”

Brainy grimaced. “Busted.”

Kara laughed, she couldn’t help it. Brainy might have changed a lot over the last few months, but he was still as candid as he’d ever been, maybe now even more-so without all the secrets he’d had weighing him down.

She knew, deep down, that a part of her had changed, too. And maybe, maybe it was time she let down some of her walls, enough that she could let her family see her for every change the Phantom Zone had brought on – good or bad.

And, Brainy? Well, he seemed like the perfect start. After all, there was so much more she wanted to learn about him, too.

So, with Streaky 2.0 still snuggled contently in her arms, Kara smiled, taking Brainy’s arm with her free hand. “I think you’re right. I do want to personalise my pet supplies." She brightened. "Hey, maybe we can go to the pet store tomorrow!”

“But, I was just there,” Brainy pointed out.

Kara rolled her eyes. “Yes, but you put in the study-time. You know this cat better than I do, right now. I’m gonna need your expertise to find the best stuff to truly pamper him. Besides,” Kara squeezed his arm, “I want to spend some time with my friend.”

When Brainy’s eyes sparked and he grinned his affirmation, Kara was so, so grateful to see it.

“Very well, then,” Brainy agreed. “Tomorrow it is!”

[underworld-knight]

Barrier (Idia x F! s/o)

It was a quiet and peaceful day, you and Idia were at his dorm room, as usual, watching some anime you recommended. Ortho was helping professor Vargas with some injured students since the boy has some medical assistance his older brother programed into him. So you were alone.

Normally, Idia would freaked the fuck out to be in the same room alone with someone, specially someone he is crushing so hard on. But you guys are so used to do this, since you two met, Idia gradually starts inviting you to his room to play some games or watch something. Ortho really appreciate your company, you two make the sunshine combo that warms the poor shy guy's heart. So your presence was now a common and good thing in his life.

As the episode goes, you star to really paying attention to it, it was one of your favorite anime so total focus was essencial. Idia was extremely focused as well, eyes almost never blinking as he bit his blue tinted lips unconsciously. As the climax of the show goes on, you felt that excitement that always come when you watch it no matter how many times, as for him, he gasped and you could feel how static he was as he mumbled how amazing that episode was.

Both of you decided to continue the show later and eat something (in his room, of course). As the nice person you are, standing up to snatch some candy for him, Idia starts admiring you without noticing. How you move, how you tuck some strands of hair behind your ear, just how you are so peaceful but at the same time so fierce sometimes. God help him when he starts to daydream about you, all the memories you've made and all the possibilities the future holds really weights in his chest. Is it anxiety? But it feels good... maybe is hope and excitement? What are you doing with this man?

"Hey Idia, something happen?" you asked softly to not startle him. "W-w-what? O-oh it's really nothing. I... just the sick feeling to have class with Mr. Cater tomorrow" He was almost proud he came with an excuse and a side joke in the same phrase. You giggled, which made him more flustered "aw don't say that, he is just wants to be friendly." "T-that's the issue... if he could just leave me alone, I could like him more." "Hey, I know he gives you a hard time sometimes but look at the bright side! With him, your insecurity with being hated from everyone is proved false" You grinned.

With that, Idia reminded all the times you helped him with his fears, anxiety and depressed thoughts. He couldn't understand how someone whom excitement was similar as Mr. Kalim would tag along with a shut in like him. It kind of annoyed him at first, he tried to push you away and you noticed his discomfort and backed away immediately, for his relief but also... disappointment? Sometimes the guy doesn't even understand himself.

---

However one day, and he could still feel the guilt crept back in his mind, he saw you crying in secret in a isolated section in the library. Frozen in place, the blue haired guy just kept staring at you. Of course, everyone has a bad day and the right to be sad, but see you in such a state was somehow wrong. I mean, you are Mrs. Cheerful!! The way you looked so hurt and at the same time so used to this feeling was something Idia would never imagined to see. He didn't realize at how long he was staring at you (and later he found out it's an effect you have on him), until the same girl flinched at his presence, wiping furiously the tears away as you apologize for the situation and offering a weak smile.

That broke his heart

He immediately tried to excuse himself and at the same time saying it's okay and he should be the one apologizing for being such a creep, resulting in a stuttering mess. Okay, now you definitely think he is a weirdo, a low life scumbag. Whatever, he was used to this. But you just started giggling softly.

"I am not laughing at you, it's just funny... Oh, you need some book in specific? Sorry... I am troubling you again right? I shall leave now" "Wait!" Idia exclaimed, cursing himself mentally, how is he supposed to handle a conversation HE started. "Um... I mean..." Taking out his tablet, with that the guy could speak some proper words. "You are not troubling me I was just surprised. I should leave n-" "Whoa! How can you type so fast?? And the voice is so smooth!! It's like, so real!" "Hm?" "Lilia told me Ignihyde was famous for the crazy technology you guys do, but seeing in real life is just amazing!"

Did she was impressed by a voice synthesizer? There is such a variety of "crazy technology" his dorm has made, the voice synthesizer was merely child's play in his perspective.

"Um, yes. Actually this is one of the versions I made for myself. For my little brother I add the ability to sing as well." Oh no... He was getting into the conversation "Really? That's so cool! It's like a vocaloid... right?" You asked shyly Hold on, hold on, did you just said vocaloid? And you mention it in front of the biggest otaku NRC has ever admitted? Idia's eyes lit up as he grinned. "So you know vocaloids!? You can say something like that, well I mean  there's a lot of difference compared to the softwares and even the quality of the sound. I tried to do Ortho's voice as smooth as possible, specially with the high notes he mentioned to me, it was a little troublesome but fun nonetheless. Ah the world of artificial voices is so vast, I could even build-"

It was that moment that Idia knew - He fucked up

He talked too much, and now that potencial friend was weirded out by his passion. He could really blame you? Anyone in their right mind would be. He should just go to his dorm and sulk for the day.

"Hm? What happened? Are you okay?" "AH! It was nothing, sorry... I just get carried away with the subject" "Yeah! And it was so cool! I would really love to see some of your work, for real!" "W-w-what?"  he was so caught off guard he even said out loud instead of using the device "Oh... I didn't mean to intrude or anything. You don't have to show it. I was just really into in what you were saying."

Back with his tablet, Idia invited his "new friend" to see some projects he has in his room. Of course, the meeting was online, but you didn't mind. You truly understand his anxiety since you have some troubles with yourself. Troubles he did asked some months after you met. You now was his sunshine, his player-2, even if those nicknames were a secret. 

A secret he will never have the courage to tell. And so he believed.

---

Back at the current situation, you sit back on his bed and handed him the candy. as both bodies were almost touching, Idia was far away in his own thoughts, he remembered when you told about your insecurities, how your mind just screams how worthless you really are, of how many time the thought about death was endearing. His chest was heavy as he pictured the hot tears falling from your beautiful eyes.

"I didn't mean to ruin the mood, sorry... We can go back to the game again."

That sentence just filled him with dread.

So many times you helped him with HIS insecurities and anxiety attacks. You were the first person, aside his family, to really give a try to understand his weirdness.

"I-I-I..." "Or maybe I overwhelmed you with all this. You have your problems, I don't want to trouble you with my nonsense" "Stop it!"

Your eyes widen at the sudden exclamation.

"Don't you ever say that again to me. How can your problems be nothing more than nonsense? Are serious? I wish I could be as strong as you! Not only you try your best to be a decent person in this godforsaken school, but you have the guts to open your heart like that!"

As your whole body frozen in shock at how he spoke those words without the aid of his tablet.

"Idia..." tears still falling down but your face lit up little by little "thank you so much"

He wants to hug you, but he knew he'd just make a fuss and ruin the mood. You respected that, after all it was already warm in your heart. And after that incident, you grew closer to one another, Idia taught you how to play some games so you two could spend the day playing together. Ortho was so happy now his big bro found someone who makes everything interesting, he could almost not contain his happiness when you invited him to play at the courtyard, he could hug you all day. You were really his big bro's sunshine.

"Hey?" You called softly, a little concern with the blue haired guy lost gaze "Oh! Yeah! Sorry, I spaced out...again" "Hmmmm, hope it is not about how the show is going to end. You sir are too good to get yourself a spoiler." "Heh, in other words, I am pretty smart" Idia teased, he really loved at how he can be playfully confident. You didn't judge him so he felt more at ease to be himself. "Don't get too cocky Mr. Shroud" you teased back

Maybe onde day, Idia will say those words he so much want to tell you. Who knows, step by step. As your "friendship" grows, his fears will fade away eventually.

[felswritingfire]

Your know zebra like the big titty mad man but like low-key himbo and could suffocate me in his tiddys yes that one thanks

I KNOW WHO THIS IS AND THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME MY LIFE-

since you didn’t specify, I just went with some general stuff uwu

General Zebra 

Idk if they ever state this in the manga/anime but he’s a big fan of grilled stuff, especially BBQ??? WHOOOOOOO- His favorite condamate hands down

He’s very into fashion and I like to imagine that he influenced Sunny and his interest in it as well

His favorite item of clothing is his leather jacket

Once in a while he’ll stitch up his mouth, and he’ll just say it’s for the hell of it but he actually hopes that it chills people out when they’re around him because…. He gets insecure too

That’s not to say that he’s a really insecure dude, he’s actually quite comfortable with himself and actively does not give a shit about what other people think 

He’s also a chill when he’s with people that he really like, like, people who aren’t his brothers, but people who are similar to Komatsu in that they don’t have Gourmet Cells

Contrary to popular believe, he can be gentle when he wants be 

He can also be a chatter bug when he’s into the conversations, not in the sense that he talks a lot, he’s just an active participant in the conversation and is animated in his movements when he is talking

Boy talks with his hands when he’s a place that he can relax; otherwise he’s all puffed and stiff if he’s in a place where he doesn't know anyone

When he’s home alone, he usually wears a pair of name brand sweats and nothing else since he’s like a big ol’ lion and he’ll lounge around on his fucking ✨LEATHER COUCH✨

Though he loves to lounge, he’s also really into trying new food and will actively try new recipes- he actually knows how to make some good ass dishes- he just likes someone else cooking more

He’s really knowledgeable about animals- like, super knowledgeable; if he wanted and if he was determined enough, he could be a whole ass Zoologist, but naw, he’s just here for the food and adventure and honestly?? What a mood

But he had to know a lot since he landed in jail because he took out a whole bunch of invasive species that were fucking up the ecosystem- like, he isn’t stupid, and I will die on this hill

When he was a little baby man, he was really protective of his little brothers- what happened? They grew up and became a pain in his ass (he still watches out for them in his rough ways)

Starting friendship with Zebra is honestly the most rewarding yet nerve wracking thing because it’s like trying to befriend a giant ass beast that you can’t read at all- which you really can’t, because the man can be a stone wall when he wants

You have to be an honest person to even be considered his friend- he doesn’t put up with any lying or two faced bullshit, that’s just how Zebra is 

If you are his friend tho, he’ll always be willing to lend an ear to you if you need someone who’s willing to listen 

He might throw in some advice here and there too

He’ll also be there to comfort you if you need it; he’ll even pick you up and cradle you, placing your head in the crook of his neck as he leans back and pats your back while you cry into him 

He’s really soft on his friends and family

That doesn’t mean that he won’t tease the shit out of you

Truly, the truest form of lovingly bullying your friends

He’ll gruffly apologize if he goes too far BUT he very rarely does that because he’s got those magic ears of his so he can tell when you’re getting angry/sad, then he’ll start to steer the teasing somewhere else

Relationship with Zebra

Zebra is a gruff lover through and through, it’s just in his personality, but he’s a little sweeter to you than he is to anyone else

He’ll make sure that your taken care of and protected, especially if you’re his combo and he’s taking you with him on his adventures 

He’s very observant of your moods; he’s actually ridiculously in tune with you???? It’s kinda freaky how he can read you like an open book

He’s the literal definition of “Babe is on her period, so am I. UterUS!” Even if you don’t identify as a lady or have the ability to have a menstrual cycle- it’s still uterUS-

What I’m trying to get at is that he’s a mega Ride-or-die bitch 

Like, you have to do some atrocious shit to get him to fucking do a 180 on your ass- or just cheat on him, or lie to him (please don’t do either of those things, it takes so much for him to become attached to people, please, cherish him-)

He’ll be MEGA ANGY THEN

But not like his usual angry, like, where he gets pissed and goes on a rampage; this angry isn’t loud- his anger is full of sadness and betrayal and he wouldn’t say anything to you, he’d simply look at you with these eyes full of emotion and then turn and leave

But get fucked because the other three aren’t that chill and Komatsu may not punch the fuck out of you, but you really will wish he would because he’d talk to you like a disappointed mother and it is the worst feeling in the world- (also I will come for your kneecaps, bro, DON’T TEST ME)

ANYWAY, OFF OF THAT TOPIC-

You know how I mentioned that Zebra likes to cook? Fucking consider it a date, because he’ll actively add you into the kitchen with him, even if it’s just him cooking and you sitting there being cute while you chatter away 

His love language is sharing his food, so, if he offers you food- you take it and you cling to that knowledge that you’re really one of the most important people to him 

UM, HE WILL SIT YOU ON HIS LAP, DEADASS

You will never sit in a chair again if he’s there; it’s an easy way to say you’re taken and to keep you close, so he kinda lives for it 

He’ll flaunt you to his brothers with zero hesitation- he adores you and they have to put up with his roundabout way of showing it 

Toriko and Coco don’t really care- They’re all actually really happy for him in general- but, that doesn’t mean Toriko won’t still tease him about it (but he only does that once in a while because Toriko has to be in the mood to throw down because, of course, this is Zebra we’re talking about). Sunny on the other hand complains about it because, “oh MY GOD, THIS IS THE SIXTH TIME YOU’VE BROUGHT THEM UP- SHUT THE FUCK UP-”

Which usually instigates petty sibling arguments between them, which are actually really entertaining??? You gotta intervene at some point because Zebra will whole ass chuck Sunny into the sun if he doesn’t watch it

Very soft with cuddles???? He’s like a giant (deadly) cat who likes to bask in your presence

His favorite position to cuddle you is with his head on your chest so he can listen to your heart. There’s just something about knowing that your a tangible person who genuinely loves him and wants to actively be in his presence that gets him all types of mushy 

Can you say a protective boi??? Because he is very much a protective baby

If anyone tries to hurt you for any reason, they’re dead. In very gruesome way too- I wouldn’t put it past him to grab someone and tear them limb from limb if he really wanted to 

He’s also has a bit of a jealous streak, but he’s pretty quiet about it

BUT, that doesn’t mean that he’ll be opposed to looming behind you and glowering at the person (they have to have pretty big balls in the first place to even try and approach you tbh)- which usually does the trick pretty quick

Please smooch him on the forehead and tell him that you love him- it’s a genuine anxiety of his that you’re going to leave him one day for someone who isn’t, you know, seen as a real ass walking disaster on the news cast so you can pursue an actual normal life.

Sometimes he just need to hear you say you love him to put him at ease, and that’s the tea, sis

To make a long story fucking short, I love him and he’s a whole sweet tart- he’s just a little burnt around the edges- please, I love him, please-

[fandomsalive]

So Listen Dear, Won’t You Meet Me Here While I’m Bringing in the New Year

So Listen Dear, Won’t You Meet Me Here While I’m Bringing in the New Year | Reddie | Teen and Up | 5,627 words

Summary: “Fuck you, I would have gotten it eventually,” Richie shoots back, even as he rushes to save the game quickly, and then tosses the controller to the side. “I’m bored," he declares loudly.

He stares resolutely at the TV the same way he’s been avoiding Eddie’s eyes most of the night, like he’s too nervous to meet Eddie’s gaze.

“You were the one who wanted to play video games all night,” Eddie grumbles, glaring at the side of his face. When we could be making out instead, he complains in his own head, but refuses to say aloud.

**

It’s New Years Eve, and Eddie’s just waiting for Richie to make a move already.

—

Title from "Bringing In A Brand New Year," by B.B. King. I was inspired by this (x) tik tok and I know it’s way too late for New Years but take this New Years fic anyway. This is also set 2016 but the boys are teens. Thanks to @imnotinclinedtomaturity for the beta I love you.

Ao3 Link

—

Stan (10:16 PM)

so has he made a move on u yet?

Eddie (10:16 PM)

fuck you stan you know he hasnt

Stan (10:17 PM)

i told u ud have ot be the one to suck it up kaspbrak

Eddie (10:18 PM)

I hate you.

Stan (10:18 PM)

ur just mad i was right. i knew richie wouldnt have the balls to follow through on his plans to jump ur bones tonight

Eddie doesn’t dignify that with a response, instead choosing to toss his phone onto the edge of Richie’s bed with a huff. Richie, who up ‘til then had been blatantly (and perhaps a little desperately) trying to pretend he hadn’t noticed Eddie was on his phone, glances at the discarded phone with far too much interest.

“Who ya texting, Eds?” he asks, feigning indifference but missing by a mile. Eddie wants to roll his eyes at just how transparent his best friend is, but he really shouldn’t be surprised. Richie has been on edge all night, more often than not turning to Eddie to say something, and then changing his mind last minute, so of course the moment Eddie’s attention isn’t on him, he’d be concerned.

“Your mom,” Eddie snarks back, crossing his arms over his chest in irritation. Richie snickers, but his heart clearly isn’t in it. He keeps darting his eyes towards Eddie’s phone, and then back to the TV screen, where he’s been playing Kingdom Hearts for the last hour, as if he wants nothing more than to take Eddie’s phone and find out for himself.

Do it, Eddie begs him internally, eyes narrowed at the back of Richie’s head.

Richie doesn’t, but Eddie hadn’t really been expecting anything different. Richie hasn’t been picking up on anything Eddie has been hinting at recently. It’s starting to feel like nothing short of screaming his intentions from the rooftop will work to knock some sense into him.

In fact, he’s been sitting at the head of Richie’s bed for the last two hours, sprawled as invitingly as he could imagine in a pair of sleep shorts and one of Richie’s jackets. He looks good, he knows he looks good.

More than once he’s stretched himself towards Richie, pressing their thighs together and tossing his ankle over Richie’s, but rather than encouraging Richie to just do something already, it had only succeeded in Richie giggling nervously and, after the third rendition, retreating half way down the bed.

Richie has been sat cross legged down there for the last hour and a half, and Eddie doesn’t know what to do to salvage the damn night. He can’t exactly chase Richie, because so far drawing any attention to Richie’s weirdness, or Eddie’s blatant attempts to flirt, has only seemed to spook him, and any attempt to broach the subject — that subject being the fact that Eddie wanted to date him — only made Richie clam up more.

Eddie has been waiting the last couple of months for Richie to just… come out with it already, ever since Janice had asked Eddie to be her date to homecoming, and Richie had gone into such a fit he hadn’t spoken to Eddie for a week. Eddie had been so mad at him for being a dick and ignoring him, but every time Eddie’d tried to catch him on his own, Richie would disappear. For three days straight he’d been to all of Richie’s favorite hang out spots and hadn’t seen hide nor tail of him until the end of October when Eddie stumbled out the back of the Chemistry building and accidentally overheard a private conversation between Richie and Bev.

He hadn’t intended to eavesdrop but… Richie was his best friend, and more than anything else, Eddie had been hurt by the sudden refusal to speak to him. He hadn’t even understood at the time, hadn’t made the connection to Janice at all, until he’d heard Richie confessing to Bev, his voice hesitant, quiet… hurt.

“It’s only a matter of time before someone asks Eddie out and he says yes, Bev,” Richie had sniffled miserably. “What am I supposed to do then, because I sure as fuck can’t pretend to be happy for him? It’ll break my heart.”

Ever since then, Eddie has been trying to tell Richie that Eddie doesn’t want a girlfriend. In fact, Eddie isn’t interested in girls at all. He’s far more interested in his foulmouthed best friend, despite his better judgement.

Richie doesn’t seem to get it, though. The following Monday, Richie had started speaking to him again as if nothing had happened, and any time Eddie attempted to bring any of it up, Richie would say something so nonsensical and infuriating that Eddie couldn’t help raising to the bait.

Now it's been over two months and Richie is still pussy footing around despite the fact that Eddie has been flirting with him this entire time. He’s dropped so many hints about his own fucking feelings that now all of the Losers know he’s in love with Richie, and their sympathy is quickly waning.

“You need to just tell him outright, Eddie,” had been Bill’s sage advice after the millionth time Eddie had practically sat on Richie’s lap in the hammock and Richie had responded by jumping out of it. “He’s an idiot, and obviously terrified you’re going to reject him if he so much as breathes on you wrong. He’s not going to realize you like him back when you’re flirting with him the same way you’ve been flirting with him your entire friendship.”

Eddie had told Bill to fuck off, and hid in his room for the rest of the night, frustrated at his own inability to sack up, as Bev would put it.

And truthfully, Eddie doesn’t know why he hasn’t just blurted it all out yet, but every time he’s even come close, he’s felt almost faint with anxiety. It hasn’t helped that everytime Richie senses a serious conversation coming, he diverts the conversation as fast as he possibly can. Richie’s lack of desire to actually fucking talk about this isn’t exactly comforting, despite the fact that Eddie knows Richie likes him.

But it’s New Year’s Eve tonight, and Stan, sick of watching Richie and Eddie dance around each other, had confided in Eddie that Richie was planning on confessing his feelings tonight, if he could only convince Eddie it would be worth pissing off his mom to spend the night.

Spending any amount of time with Richie was worth it, but if it meant Richie was going to admit to how he felt, Eddie wasn’t going to miss his chance.

Except… so far, Stan’s assumption that Richie wouldn’t have the guts to tell Eddie the truth seems to be the most likely outcome. Eddie sighs at the thought, unsure what else he could possibly do to make it clear to Richie that he’s more than receptive to Richie’s feelings..

All Eddie can really think about just then, however, is how shit Richie is at Kingdom Hearts.

“You’re doing it wrong,” Eddie grouses loudly, as Richie makes another attempt to defeat Luxord, and the loud death animation plays out on the screen.

“Fuck you, no I’m not,” Richie shoots back, stubbornly clicking “restart” and beginning the fight all over again. Eddie sighs loudly. This is the fifth time he’s seen Richie attempt this fight tonight, and each time he’s fallen to the same fucking trap. It's probably thanks to the fact that Richie hasn’t actually been paying very much attention to his game at all, apparently too busy fidgeting in place and sending Eddie obvious, but nonetheless longing, looks.

“You just have to pay fucking attention,” Eddie grumbles and shifts onto his knees, crawling determindedly over to Richie. Richie looks over his shoulder at Eddie, a nervous look in his eye, tongue sticking out in concentration. Richie shifts with Eddie, leaning forward like he wants to get away. Eddie wants nothing more than to shove him off the bed already. “Look, see, when he turns into a card you just have to —”

At Richie’s side now, Eddie reaches for the controller in Richie’s hands, and jerks it into his own.

“Hey!” Richie complains loudly, but doesn’t fight it. Instead, he practically recoils, and moves over on the bed so that he’s on the edge, a large gap between him and Eddie’s knees. Eddie does everything he can to ignore it, and starts mashing buttons on the controller.

“See, look, if you just fuck with the camera you can tell which card he’s and then —” Eddie unleashes a combo attack on Luxord in the few seconds that he’s stunned, before Luxord changes tacks.

Eddie doesn’t bother handing Richie the controller back, because Richie doesn’t ask and Eddie is tired of sitting around looking tempting when it’s clear Richie isn’t going to fucking do anything about it. Irritated, Eddie unleashes his anger on the game instead. “And then when he does it again, you just —” Again, Eddie manipulates the camera until he knows exactly which card Luxord is in, locks on, and beats the shit out of him all over again.

“Alright, alright,” Richie grumbles, pouting and reaching up to throw his hoodie over his head, casting his face into shadow. Eddie rolls his eyes at the way Richie fiddles with the drawstrings there. Eddie recognizes it as one of Richie’s nervous ticks, and if he hadn’t known Richie was working himself up to confessing tonight, that would have been a good red flag that Richie wanted to do something.

Finally, after three more rounds of doing the same shit, Luxord dies, and Eddie thrusts the controller back into Richie’s hands. Richie takes it cautiously, sneaking a look at Eddie’s irritated face.

“There,” Eddie exclaims proudly. “I told you you were doing it wrong,” he adds smugly, and settles himself more firmly into the spot he’s taken up residence in. Richie will just have to deal with Eddie in his space, and if he wants to sit on the very edge of his bed with one foot pressed to the floor, only barely keeping him up, then so be it. Eddie’s tired of making this easy on him.

“Fuck you, I would have gotten it eventually,” Richie shoots back, even as he rushes to save the game quickly, and then tosses the controller to the side. “I’m bored,” he declares loudly, and drags the remaining leg he has on the bed up to his chest, wrapping his arm around it and resting his chin on his knee.

He stares resolutely at the TV the same way he’s been avoiding Eddie’s eyes most of the night, like he’s too nervous to meet Eddie’s gaze.

“You were the one who wanted to play video games all night,” Eddie grumbles, glaring at the side of his face. When we could be making out instead, he complains in his own head, but refuses to say aloud.

“Yeah, but you’re so much better at it,” Richie whines, and tosses himself backwards on the bed. His hood acts as a halo around his face, dark curls spilling out of it, as Eddie turns his body to stare down at him. Richie meets his eyes for half a second before his cheeks turn bright red and he looks away again. “Hey, I’ve got an idea!” he declares suddenly, and sits back up. He turns giddily to Eddie and declares, “Why don’t you play Dark Souls?”

Instantly, Eddie groans. “Fuck no!” he complains, “The last time I let you convince me to play Dark Souls, you spent the entire time making fun of me when I got my ass kicked. I’m not doing it again!” Eddie practically shouts at him.

Richie is cackling on the bed, grinning like an absolute lunatic at Eddie. It’s the first time all night things have seemed semi-normal between them. “That’s the best part, Edwardo!” Richie exclaims brightly. Eddie groans loudly at the nickname, but Richie steamrolls past him before he can say anything. “No one wants to watch someone being good at that game, it’s boooooring,” he sing-songs, dancing in place.

“No!” Eddie refuses, reaching out to shove at Richie’s shoulder. “I refuse! Pick something else!” he demands.

With a pout, Richie turns and drops back onto the bed. This time, his curls are what halo his face, and they’re so cute that Eddie wants to bury his fingers into them. Eddie has to fight a blush at the stupidly cheesy thought, and turns away.

“Fine,” Richie grumbles, shoving his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. “You pick something then,” he adds, still pouting.

Sighing, Eddie reaches out to pick up Richie’s controller, and exits out of Kingdom Hearts. He scrolls through Richie’s downloaded games in search of a different one — not Dark Souls.

The clock in the corner blinks 10:32 PM, inching closer and closer to midnight. Richie only has an hour and twenty-eight minutes left to follow through on his supposed plan (and, unknowinglingly, prove Stan wrong. Eddie’s not so certain he’s going to manage it).

“For someone who spends so much time on his PS4,” Eddie complains, “you don’t have very many games.”

“It’s not about quantity, Eds,” Richie snarks back, shifting to prop himself up on his elbows, “It’s about quality. Oh!” he exclaims as Eddie skips through his games, “Crash Bandicoot! Eds, Eddie, Edwardo, Eddie Spaghetti,” he rattles off, shooting off the bed and grabbing for the controller. “Come on, we have to play that!”

He’s so excited he doesn’t seem to notice the way his fingers cover Eddie’s for a moment, but Eddie sure does. It sends a spark of heat down his back and he swallows thickly, releasing the controller.

“Fuck you, that’s not my name,” Eddie complains automatically, frowning. Richie isn’t listening to him. Instead, he’s opening up Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy, and debating between the three options. “Wait, I thought I was choosing the game,” he adds as an afterthought, not really caring but arguing out of habit.

“You were but you took too long,” Richie shoots back, sticking his tongue out. Eddie rolls his eyes, but doesn’t bother arguing. It had been thirty seconds at the most. Richie is just impatient. “Besides,” Richie adds, eager as ever, “We can take turns defeating the levels,” he insists, and finally settles on Warped.

“Take turns my ass,” Eddie grumbles, but settles himself more comfortably on the bed regardless. He’s taking up the majority of the middle of the bed again, and Eddie isn’t surprised when Richie chooses to fit himself back against the very edge again, one leg propped on the floor to keep him stationary. His leg is bouncing nervously as he darts his gaze back and forth between the game and Eddie’s face. “I don’t think you know what take turns means,” Eddie adds, stubbornly ignoring Richie’s gaze.

“I do, too!” Richie claims, pouting. A smile twitches at Eddie’s lips, but he chooses to ignore it. “I’ll even prove it to you. You can go first!” Richie insists, and this time presses the controller into Eddie’s hands.

Rolling his eyes, Eddie takes it and starts the first level.

It turns out that Crash Bandicoot is one of the worst decisions Richie could have made, because they’re both disastrous at it. Within the first ten minutes, they’ve lost every single one of their lives, and they’re forced to start the level over from the beginning, rather than from the last checkpoint they’d hit. This only serves to make the game even harder, and Eddie isn’t the least bit surprised when he and Richie end up fighting over the controller.

“It’s my turn!” Richie screams in Eddie’s face, giggling as he wrestles him for the controller.

“No it isn’t! I haven’t beat the level yet!” Eddie argues back, struggling against Richie’s longer arms. As is par for the course for the two of them, their wrestling isn’t the least bit careful. In fact, Eddie’s fairly certain he’s going to have a bruise on his jaw tomorrow from where Richie had hit him with his elbow, but Eddie doesn’t mind. It’s always been satisfying to roughhouse with Richie.

“Yeah but you used our last life!” Richie shouts at him. “That’s pretty much the same thing! It’s your fault we had to start the level over!”

“Like you haven’t done it a million times already,” Eddie growls, finally shoving Richie off of him.

Richie goes careening off the bed, and hits the floor with a loud thump. Startled, Eddie drops the controller on the bed, and crawls across the sheets to stare down at where Richie has landed, eyes wide. Richie is staring up at him dazed, blinking rapidly as if trying to reorient himself. Eddie bites his bottom lip.

“Fuck,” he whispers, and leans down to grasp onto Richie’s wrist. “Are you okay?” he asks softly, waiting for Richie to grip onto his wrist in turn before dragging him up and into a sitting position. Eddie lets go of him, and Richie reaches up to press tentative fingers to the back of his head. Eddie winces when Richie winces.

“I’m fine,” Richie groans, and drops his hands to the floor on either side of him. He takes another moment to gather himself, before leveraging himself to his feet. Instinctively, Eddie leans backwards until he’s sat back on the bed and out of Richie’s personal space. “You pack quite a punch for such a little guy,” Richie comments playfully.

“Oh, fuck you!” Eddiee screams instantly, reaching for the pillows at the top of Richie’s bed. As soon as he’s got one in his grip, Eddie starts pummeling Richie’s face with it. “Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!” Eddie shouts, as Richie laughs and bats futilely at the pillow. “See if I ever worry about you again!” Eddie complains, huffing loudly.

It takes another few smacks of the pillow to Richie’s laughing face before Eddie finally relents.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry, sheesh,” Richie says, still laughing. “I didn’t mean to offend you,” he offers sweetly, using that stupid smile he always uses on grown ups to get out of trouble. Eddie huffs and crosses his arms over his chest.

“Yes you did,” Eddie argues darkly.

Richie laughs again. “Okay, yes I did,” he agrees, nudging at Eddie softly, and then shuffling onto the bed next to him, “But I only do it to rile you up,” he admits. The moment the words are out of his mouth, Richie starts blushing and looks away.

Eddie, shocked at the confession, can only stare at the side of Richie’s face, terrified of doing or saying anything in response that might scare Richie off.

They’re silent for a moment, nothing but the sound of their game echoing around the room. The sound is annoying, considering how many times they’ve died in such a short period of time, but Eddie can also hear his heart beating roughly in his chest while he waits anxiously to see what Richie will do next.

Finally, Richie clears his throat. “You know, Eds,” Richie starts, his voice soft and tentative, the way it has been on and off all night. Eddie’s eyes dart to Richie’s face, and he feels his heart clench up tight in his chest. Is this it? Is this the time? Is Richie actually going to tell him—

With a huff, Richie shakes his head and gets up off the bed. He doesn’t say anything else, wringing his hands at his sides again instead, and Eddie’s chest deflates.

“Come on,” Richie says, completely changing the subject, “Let’s see if we can get to the boss before midnight.”

With darting, anxious eyes, Richie looks for the controller he’d just been sitting on, and snatches it up quickly as soon as he locates it. Then he throws himself back onto the bed, this time pressed up against the headboard, curled into his small pile of pillows.

So, no. Not this time, no point in Eddie getting his hopes up again.

Freshly annoyed at Richie’s new positioning once again away from Eddie, Eddie reaches up and snatches the controller from Richie’s hands.

Richie lets it go without a fight, eyes wide and unsure.

“It’s still my turn,” Eddie explains tersely, and turns back to the TV screen, where he can see the time 11:12 PM sitting innocuously in the corner, mocking him.

Eddie doesn’t know why he thinks it, but somehow he feels as if Richie hasn’t confessed by midnight, Richie isn’t going to confess at all.

With a sigh, Eddie tries the level again. And again. And again.

They do make it to the boss, eventually.

Richie’s the one to beat level 5, though it takes him a good 50 times to do so, and only then because the fourth level had been pretty easy and Eddie had managed to farm more than a couple of lives. He’d gone so far as to play another round of keep away with Richie to play the level a second time, to which Richie had sat in his corner and pouted.

But now they’re on the first boss, and Richie has refused to hand the controller back over.

“You got two turns with level 4!” Richie argues defiantly, “We’ll take turns with the boss. Everytime one of us dies, we hand the controller off!”

Grumbling to himself, Eddie relents, and, starting to feel uncomfortable sitting in the middle of the bed, moves to the top to settle in next to Richie. Eddie leaves some space between them this time, unwilling to put himself through the depressing experience of Richie pulling away from him again.

Richie still shoots a terrified glance at him, and scoots over the tiniest bit. Eddie does everything he can in his power not to roll his eyes too obviously, and nods at the game instead. “What are you waiting for? Start it already, dumbass.”

So Richie does.

Shockingly, the boss is pretty easy to beat. He’s so easy, in fact, that Eddie doesn’t even get a go at it, and while Richie laughs and cheers for his own victory, Eddie swipes the controller from his hands and starts level 6.

It’s inching nearer and nearer to midnight. He can see the clock glaring 11:47 at him. The year is almost over, and Richie still hasn’t confessed to him. Eddie isn’t sure if he should even be expecting it anymore, given how many times Richie has stared at him and then clearly chickened out without saying anything. It’s disappointing, when Eddie had come over that night feeling so hopeful.

Stan had warned him to keep his expectations low. None of their friends seemed to have any confidence in Richie’s willingness to confess, regardless of whether or not Richie had said he was going to do it. Eddie had just been hoping…

Well, he’d been hoping that maybe, by midnight, they would have talked about their feelings and Richie might have kissed him. The longer the night goes on, though, the less and less likely it seems that Richie actually will.

Eddie is so deep in his own thoughts that he doesn’t even notice it when he runs out of lives on level 6. He sighs, frustrated, when the game starts back over outside the level, and he turns to hand the controller off to Richie.

Their eyes meet. Richie’s are wide and terrified. His hood is pulled up over his head again, hiding part of his face in shadow, and he’s playing with the strings again, tightening and untightening his hood over and over again. For a moment, the look on Richie’s face is so startling that even Eddie feels nervous.

And then Richie says, “It’s almost midnight,” with a tremble in his voice.

Eddie nods his head slowly, feeling that familiar quiver in his chest that tells him the hope is building.

This time? he wonders.

“Yeah, it is,” Eddie agrees after a moment, unsure.

He does his best not to make Richie feel any more uncomfortable than he already does, and stays as still as he dares. He wants to reach out and take Richie’s hand in his, wants to drag his fidgeting fingers away from the strings of his hoodie, wants to shift forward so their thighs are pressed alongside each others’, wants to lean his forehead against Richie’s and beg him to kiss him.

But he doesn’t.

He doesn’t, because he knows that Richie is scared, and he knows what it’s like to be scared. Eddie’s spent his whole life being scared. He’d grown up being told all the ways he could get sick if he wasn’t careful, being told that he had allergies he didn’t have, and illnesses that wouldn’t stick. There had been a time in Eddie’s life where he couldn’t go one hour without taking another set of medications, and his inhaler had been his best friend.

So he understands being scared, and maybe that’s the real reason he hasn’t pushed Richie on this. Eddie knows that forcing someone to get over their fears isn’t going to fix anything, not in the long run, anyway — they have to want to get over them themselves. And Eddie is willing to wait.

“Fuck,” Richie mutters to himself, fingers tangling tight in his hoodie strings. His hands look like they might be shaking, but Richie is fidgeting too much for Eddie to know for sure. “Fuck, uhm, Eddie?” Richie asks nervously, eyes darting all around Eddie’s face, avoiding his eyes completely.

“Mm?” Eddie replies, breathless, his own eyes wide and nervous. He flattens his hands down hard against his thighs, and begs himself not to touch, to not scare Richie, to not push him.

“I’m—” Richie starts, cuts himself off with a sharp inhale, then starts again, “I’m going to do something now, but if you hate it, just tell me, okay?” he babbles nervously, finally detangling his fingers from his hoodie strings, only to clench them deeply into his jeans.

Eddie’s breathing speeds up, and his hands are shaking now too.

“Richie,” Eddie whispers, aiming for encouraging and falling short. He can hear that his own voice is shaking.

Richie doesn’t seem to notice, barreling on, “I promise it’s fine if you don’t like it. I just want to — I just want to try…” Richie’s voice trails off as he gulps, eyes darting all over Eddie’s face. He opens his mouth to say something more, but hesitates, and then starts to retreat into himself, clearly losing his nerve.

Eddie panics.

Before Richie can try and back out of it once again, Eddie blurts,“Kiss me.”

The words are half garbled with breathlessness, almost a gasp between them, but Richie seems to catch on. His eyes go wide, and he inhales sharply, struck dumb. For a long moment, they just stare at each other, Eddie with his heart in his throat, and Richie absolutely stunned. Finally, Richie bursts into a flurry of giggles.

He releases the strings of his hoodie to instead press his fingers to his mouth, laughing loudly around them, and gasps, “oh my god.” Richie is trembling all over as he drags his hands away from his mouth and wheezes, “holy shit,” the shock more than a little apparent.

Unable to help it, Eddie starts smiling as well, fingers clenching tight into the fabric of his jeans. “Richie!” he demands, giggling. “Come on, asshole!”

The I’m waiting feels heavy between them.

“Dude!” Richie shoots back, absolutely beaming now, and without another moment of hesitation, he reaches out and threads his fingers through the hair at the back of Eddie’s neck.

Eddie will never forget the way it feels when Richie tugs him into their first kiss. The sensation is like a shot of electricity to his spine, and he gasps before their lips even touch. He can feel his heart in his throat, beating so hard he shakes with it, and then Richie’s mouth is on his, and the feeling is like fireworks going off in his head.

Eddie doesn’t mean to groan. The sound is just ripped out of him, shocked and needy. Richie’s lips are hot against his, and he despite all of his previous nervousness, he doesn’t seem nervous of this at all. Maybe it’s because the scariest part is over, or maybe it’s because Richie knows Eddie wants it too. Regardless, he doesn’t seem to be holding back now.

Richie is a shockingly good kisser, and he takes Eddie’s bottom lip between his instantly, sucking so softly and sweetly that it's more a tease than anything. When he introduces teeth, it's the tiniest nip, and it drives Eddie absolutely crazy.

The way Richie sighs against his lips makes Eddie shiver. It takes Eddie a moment to realize that he’s raised his own hands to fist his fingers into the back of Richie’s curls, knocking off his hood and holding on tight in an attempt to prevent Richie from pulling away even the tiniest bit. Richie’s other hand has found Eddie’s waist, and it’s only when Richie yanks Eddie in closer that Eddie realizes he’d begun to melt backwards into the bed.

Gasping at the feeling of being held tight, Eddie shoves himself further into Richie’s personal space, until the warmth of him is seeping into Eddie, and Eddie is practically in Richie’s lap.

Their mouths come together again, and again, and again, their breathing hot and heavy between them.

Eddie’s heart feels like it’s going to burst. HIs entire body feels like it’s on fire.

“Fucking finally, asshole,” Eddie groans into the kiss, pulling lightly on Richie’s hair in punishment. Shocked, Richie laughs, and kisses Eddie even more enthusiastically, the wet sound of their mouths loud in Eddie’s ears. It’s almost all that he can hear, the faint sound of Crash Bandicoot so far away it might as well be in another room.

It feels like they make out forever, making up for all the lost time they could have spent doing this. Richie’s fingers dig deep into Eddie’s hip, and Eddie tugs on Richie’s hair unapologetically. Richie’s tongue sends sparks down Eddie’s spine every time he drags it against his lips, against his own tongue, against the back of his teeth. It feels so good that Eddie never wants to stop kissing Richie.

With every shift of their mouths, Eddie shifts his body closer to Richie’s, until finally Eddie manages to knock Richie over and lands on top of him with a small oof.

“Holy fuck,” Richie gasps, shocked as their mouths pull apart. His eyes are hazy when they meet Eddie’s, his mouth wet and red.

Short of breath, Eddie can only manage to gasp back, “Holy fuck.”

For some reason, this makes Richie laugh. He slams his head back against the bedsheets with the force of it, and lets his eyes drift closed.

Hovering on top of him, Eddie releases Richie’s hair to instead prop himself up, unable to help the way he grins down at Riche.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for months,” Richie admits breathlessly, grinning as he finally opens his eyes again and looks up at Eddie. Eddie laughs and rolls his eyes, knocking his forehead gently into Richie’s.

“Yeah, I’m not an idiot, I could tell,” Eddie admits a little brashly, leaning in to peck Richie’s lips before Richie can tense up too much.

“You could?” Richie asks into the kiss, sounding shocked at the admission. Eddie nods, and kisses him again, and again, and again — soft little pecks that don’t turn into anything more.

“Yeah,” Eddie agrees, nuzzling their noses together. “I’ve been waiting for you to grow a pair and do it already,” Eddie adds teasingly, and drags his head away from Richie’s long enough to look him in the eye. “Seriously Richie, I’ve been waiting for months,” he complains good naturedly, some of the irritation gone now that it’s out there — now that Richie’s kissed him.

“Oh,” Richie replies, eyes furrowing until he’s frowning. Surprised at this change in demeanor, Eddie pulls back from Richie again and shoots him a worried look.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, panicked.

Richie glares at him. “What the fuck, you asshole!” he whines, scrabbling at Eddie’s back until Eddie falls fully on top of him. “You knew this whole time, and you didn’t say anything?” he groans, wrapping his arms tight around Eddie and squeezing the life out of him.

The hold makes Eddie giggle, and he shoves his face into Richie’s neck, breathing hot there. “I’ve been trying, fucknuts! You’re just too fucking stupid to notice when someone’s flirting with you!” Eddie argues back, giddy with it.

Richie shakes his head against Eddie’s neck and says, “You know, you could have kissed me, too.”

The words are softer than the rest, a little coy and shy. Eddie feels his heart melt at it, and he pulls away from Richie’s neck slowly.

“I guess,” he agrees quietly, but doesn’t explain himself. He doesn’t think he has to, with the way that Richie is looking at him. Despite Richie’s grumblings, he thinks that both of them know Richie had to be the one to kiss Eddie first.

Sure enough, it takes a moment, but eventually Richie rolls his eyes and says, “Alright fine.” Then he lifts one hand to press it into Eddie’s hair, and pulls him in close, “But did you know that I love you?” he whispers right up against Eddie’s lips.

Eddie shivers, and laughs softly, eliminating the last few inches of space between their mouths with a searing kiss, before whispering, “Yeah, and I love you too, dumbass.”

[jawritter]

You and Me...

Chapter 15

***SERIES WARNINGS**** Rape, non-con, male!rape, injury, violence, description of injury caused by rape, nightmares, self-harm, panic attacks, implied female non-con, language, ass hole Jensen, hurt!Jensen, dark fic, smut. If there is anything else I will add it as I go.

***Chapter Warnings*** Language probably somewhere in there, because it’s me y’all. Hints of anxiety, brief mentions of nightmares, and panic attacks. Like very brief, self-confidence issues. (If that’s a proper way to describe it...) Slight angst, a very little fluff, I think that’s about it. 

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Word Count: 3278

A/N: This chapter is a combo of the original chapters 15 & 16, It might look at first glance like a filler chapter, but pay close attention to details in behaviors. **SPOILER** If you do it will save you some shock in upcoming chapters lol. As always all mistakes are mine! Please do not copy my work!! Feedback is gold! I hope you enjoy this one!

Summary: It’s funny how one choice you made can change your whole life. One mistake can alter your course, and set you on a path that forever will haunt you. Two people find themselves getting through one of the hardest trials of Jensen’s life, on just one small promise. You and Me. We’ll get through it together…

Want more? Check out my masterlist!!

***MASTERLIST***

***YOU AND ME MASTERLIST***

The sun broke pink just over the horizon of Jensen's property. You found yourself sitting on the back porch with a cup of coffee in your hands, listening to the early morning sounds of birds overhead.

Even though it was fall, it was still slightly warm from the rain that had passed yesterday. Jensen and yourself had fallen asleep on the floor pallet that he'd made somewhere in the middle of the first season of Game of Thrones. You both would have stayed there too, that is if the nightmares hadn’t started.

You moved the both of you to the bedroom, but you never really went sound to sleep after that. Jensen seemed to fall asleep again pretty soundly thankfully, and when you made your way out here he was still sleeping soundly.

You'd already been up, showered, picked up all the pillows and blankets, and gotten yourself ready for the day. You were planning on finishing your cup of coffee and waking up Jensen if he'd not woken up by then, and get started on breakfast.

It had rained so much yesterday that the roads headed into the studio were flooded. That being said, it looked like the two of you got another day off.

Standing and stretching, you see Jensen sitting at the bar on the phone. A cup of coffee in hand, and his hair a mess. He looked so cute when he was still sleepy in the morning, and you couldn’t help the content smile that spread over your face at the almost normal scene playing out before you, it was nice after everything that had happened to feel somewhat normal.

Opening the door you were starting to hear bits and pieces of the conversation he was having over whoever he was on the phone with.

"Yes Danneel I'm aware of that, but if I want to see someone I'm entitled to do so... No... No... I don't know if that's a good idea... Well, I'm still... Yes, I'm aware of that... But I...WOULD YOU SHUT UP AND LET ME TALK PLEASE!... I'm still having some problems. I don't know if that's a smart thing to do right now... I do want to help... Okay fine...FINE!... I'll be there to get her in a few hours... If you just have to have her picked up now I can call Jared... Because I just got out of bed that's why... Whatever damn, you're being a bitch this morning... Yes, I did call you a bitch. Keep it up and your descriptions are going to get more colorful than that... Fuck you... I'll call Jared and have him pick her up. I'm not in the mood to see you right now." 

With that, he hung up the phone and rubbed his face with his hands, not even noticing you were standing there.

You walk up behind him and start rubbing his shoulders, not exactly sure what to do here, not wanting to overstep your place. His head rolled against you, and let out a deep sigh as you worked the knots out of his tense body.

"Everything okay?" you finally got up the nerve to ask. You normally tried to stay out of his business when it came to Danneel. You didn’t want him to feel like you were trying to step yourself in where you had no business being, and this was the first time you had ever blatantly asked about something that was going on between them.

"Yeah, it's fine. One of the twins has the stomach flu. Danneel doesn't want JJ to catch it so that she doesn't miss school. So she called and asked if she could spend the week with me. Which is fine, but she wants me to go get her from her house right now," he shrugged and turned around to wrap his arms around your middle, pulling you closer to him.

“She also has somehow found out about us, and she wasn’t exactly happy about it, even though it’s none of her damn business.” 

You kept your mouth shut because you understood a little bit of Danneel’s side there. Her children still had to see their dad, and that might mean you’re around them too… You would probably have had a similar response.

"I hope she doesn't see me having some of the problems that I'm having right now. It's not that I don't want to see her, I just don't want her to see me this fucked up," he said, his voice muffled because of his head pressed against your chest.

"It will be fine. She's not gonna notice. She's just gonna be happy to see her daddy," you tell him, running your fingers through his tousled morning hair. Honestly, it was becoming your favorite thing to do.

Just as you were about to pull away from him and fix breakfast so that he could get ready to have Jared pick up his daughter. The phone rang again.

"What Danneel?... Damn... Well, she was already exposed... Okay... No, it's fine... Tell her when she gets better I'll come pick her up, and we'll go to the zoo again and get Ice cream or something... No, I know... I'm sorry too, I'm just not myself still... Tell the kids I love them... Okay... Fine... Okay... Bye." 

He let out a deep breath and dropped his head down on the bar.

"What's up?" you asked, feeling like you were seriously intruding, but you were concerned about any sort of stress being on him right now.

"Looks like she's already caught it. She started getting sick when Danneel got off the phone with me a while ago. So she's just gonna keep her there." Jensen said, being torn between his family, and where he was now was still something he was learning how to do; on top of the stress that his attack had put on him. What made it worse was that you didn’t know how to help him through this part.

The physical you could handle, the nightmares, the panic attacks, you could handle, but when it came to his kids, that’s a whole different ball game.

"I'm gonna go grab a shower," he says, standing from the stool and placing a kiss on your forehead before making his way to the bathroom. You wished there was something to make him feel better. You didn't know what you could do though. Deciding to give him his space would probably be the best idea you turn and start on breakfast.

A few hours later Jensen was sitting with a guitar strung over his lap in the chair next to the window, and you were sitting with the laptop in yours, working through some transcripts that the publishing company had sent you. For the first time in a long time, everything felt... Well... Normal... It was easy... There was a comfortable silence that had fallen between the two of you. Only the sound of Jensen's guitar and your fingers sliding across the keys of your computer filled the room.

Out of nowhere a loud knocking at the front door made the both of you jump, pulling you both out of your comfortable state.

"I got it," Jensen said, sitting his guitar on the stand, and standing to his feet. You were halfway wondering if it was Danneel So you closed your computer and looked toward the front door, listening to try and see who it was.

You weren't left in the dark long though. Jared's voice came booming through the house. You rolled your eyes and picked your computer back up. 'Jensen must have called him over,' you think to yourself, not paying much attention as the two men walked into the room and sat down.

"Okay guys, listen, I got some really big news just now," Jared said excitedly, almost jumping up and down in his seat like a kid on Christmas morning.

You look across the room at him and see a dark-haired woman you knew as Jared's wife sitting next to him. She smiles and nods in your direction and you do the same. You hadn’t even heard her come in with Jared.  

"Okay,” Jensen said, almost a little afraid judging by his tone of voice. "Spill."

"Well, I got a phone call early this morning from Robert and Andrew. There is a network that has been running our reruns on cable TV for years, they’re not happy that the show is over. Apparently, the president of TNT Kevin Reilly is a fan, and wants to pick up Supernatural on their network for season 16!" Jared was practically floating above his seat he was so happy. Gen looked over at her husband and laughed at him a little nervously, but you could see she was just as excited as he was, obviously feeding off her husband's good mood.

You looked at Jensen, he didn’t look as excited. His brow was furrowed, and he was biting his bottom lip. Looking down at his hands in this lap, he was obviously thinking hard about what Jared just said.

"Come on Jay," Jared said, picking up on his best friend's mood. "I've already talked to Misha. He's onboard. Let's give the Winchester another run." Jared said, sitting on the edge of his seat. He knew this could never fly if Jensen refused to participate, there was no acceptable recast, and there was no way the fandom would watch if Dean wasn’t a part.

"You know I want to," Jensen said in a rushed breath. "I'm just worried that I can't do some of the things now that they may want me to do," Jensen said, shifting uncomfortably in his seat, still not looking at anyone in the room.

"Robert and I already thought about that. If this goes through we will work around any handicap, setbacks, or problem you may have that comes up. It won't be an issue," Jared assured him, giving his best Sam Winchester puppy dog eyes.

Jensen licked his lips and nodded his head. "Okay, let's try. What do we need to do?" he asked, looking up at Jared finally. Just a little hint of excitement in his own eyes you hadn't seen in a long time.

Maybe he needed this more than he knew he did...

"Well, we fly to Georgia to meet Robert, Andrew, Misha, and Kevin in the morning if we decide to do this. I know it's short notice man, but this may be our only opportunity to bring our show back.” 

Jensen chewed a little more on his lips, thinking hard.

"Okay, but Y/N comes with me," he said, reaching over and taking your hand in his.

"That's cool. Gen's coming with me. We'll rent a ridiculously expensive hotel with a spa in the bottom of it or some shit and the girls can hang out there while we're in the meeting," Jared said, looking between you and Gen. “Y/N will only be a phone call away if you need her.”

"Sounds great to me," Gen said.

"Yeah, I think that I can do that," you tell Jared, giving Jensen's hand a squeeze, letting him know you were okay with his decision, and that you were there.

"If this goes as planned, if we get the contract for a 16th season. Our lives are gonna change again dramatically." Jared said, looking at everyone in the room.

"Tell me when they where ever settled?" Jensen said, you could see his mood starting to lighten at the prospect of getting back to work.

Getting up you retrieve a beer for everyone in the room. You were a little scared, and a lot nervous, but the look on Jensen's face as he talked about getting back to work again made it all worth it. Whatever sacrifices were in the future, if you were with him, that's all that mattered.

The smile on his face right now as he talked to Jared about getting everyone back together again was worth everything that could possibly come again.

-------------------------------------

Jensen's POV:

"Yes sir. Mr. Reilly, we are more than excited to work with you all as well," Jensen said, standing and shaking hands with the man sitting across a conference table form Jared, Misha, Robert, Andrew, and Himself.  

The meeting had been a success, everyone agreed to everyone’s terms and needs, they were going to go for the 16th season of supernatural.

Honestly, it was something Jensen thought he had buried, he’d grieved it even, thinking he’d left Dean behind forever, but like he had told the fans of the show when does anything in supernatural ever stay dead?

Jared was convinced that they could easily knock out two more seasons, but Jensen was worried like he was when they had decided it was time to end supernatural in its 15th season. He wanted SPN to end on a high note, and it had in season 15, not though he was worried it wouldn’t be accepted as well as it went out, or when the hype faded it would fade before they could bring it to as close again.

Either way here they were, paperwork signed, plans with agencies, and crews were already in place, writers were being hired.

It was going to happen.

They will start filming next summer, Jensen's idea. Give everyone time to readjust their lives back into Vancouver. Also, it gave the writers a little more time to get their storyline together. It wasn't going to be easy to bring the brothers back. To be honest they were probably going to spend close to a year in Vancouver just preparing to kick off filming and getting the storyline straight.

As they exited the building Jared and Misha were arm and arm, skipping like a bunch of idiots. Robert and Andrew were walking ahead of him, talking excitedly on their phones. Every person that was involved in this show’s lives just changed dramatically.

They seemed excited about it. In a way, so was Jensen, but still, there was that uncertainty...

Supernatural was their life for years, over a decade and a half.

What if this didn't go well?

What if season 16 was a flop?

What if he couldn't do what they asked him to do?

What if he couldn't perform like he used to?

All these uncertainties rolled around in his head as his friends celebrated the whole way back to the hotel, but honestly, Jensen just felt tired.

"Jensen, you and Y/N gonna come to help us celebrate tonight?" Misha asked him. Jensen just rubbed his face tiredly.

"Actually guys, I think I'm gonna sit this one out. I'm pretty tired today," he said, Jared looked at him concerned from the front seat. Everyone else just gave him a look of pity. Man he hated when people looked at him that way now.

"Jay, are you sure you're okay, man?" he asked, trying to read his almost unreadable best friend.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine, just a little tired. I'll be fine once I get some sleep. Y/N and I are probably gonna fly home first thing tomorrow morning," he said, trying to change the subject to anything but where his head was right now.

"Yeah, Gen and I will too. Got a lot to prepare for!" Jared said, turning back around, giving up on trying to figure out what was wrong with Jensen and thinking to himself that he would just ask Y/N later how Jensen was really doing. He usually lets more show around her than he did anyone else and Jared knew that. If something was wrong Y/N hopefully would be able to get it out of him.

Jensen was tired, he wasn't lying, but more than anything he wanted to get back to the hotel room with Y/N. He wanted to get wrapped up with her again, and go into a stress induced coma for the next foreseeable future. The rest he could work out once he made it back home.

One step at a time.

That's just how he had to live his life right now.

Your POV:

Yourself and Gen had spent the day together while the boys were meeting with the network. You had let her talk you into going with her to get your nails done, and now the two of you were sitting in the small coffee shop across from the hotel when your phone rang, and Jensen told you both the good news.

Once you ended the call with Jensen you hurried to get back to the hotel room, waiting on Jensen to get back too.

He didn't seem himself on the phone.

He seemed distant, his voice seemed strained and tired.

Today was just not a good day for him mentally, and you knew it from the moment you both woke up this morning.

He needed to rest.

Even though his physical injuries had basically healed a while ago, his metal wounds hadn't even started to scab over yet. They were still sore and fresh. Too much in one day could cause another episode of panic attacks. He'd been making good progress, and you didn't want him to start to slip.

When Jensen came through the door he gave you a half-hearted smile, slipping his blazer off and throwing it in the chair next to you before kicking his shoes off, and flopping down on the bed next to you. You lay down next to him, start tracing little circles on his back. "You okay handsome?" you ask, he looked at you with a tired expression.

"Yeah, guess I'm not as mentally well as I thought I was. I'm exhausted for some reason," he tells you, scooting over closer to you, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"Stress babe. You can't let it get to you. You know that," you tell him, playing with the buttons on his shirt. He laughs a little at that.

"I'll be fine once we get started. It’s just… I worked so hard on this, gave up a good bit of my life into this show, I'm afraid it won't go very well. If it’s brought back."

You nuzzle your way up to him, giving him as much warmth as you could.

"I know, but don't worry about it. It will all pan out, just enjoy the fact that you guys get to bring it back. Don't worry about things you can't control." A comfortable silence fell between the two of you again. You thought for a moment that he'd fallen asleep until he spoke.

"They're all going to one of the local bars to celebrate, but I didn't really want to go," he says, shifting his weight a little.

"Well, then we don't have to go. There will be plenty of other celebrations and parties I'm sure as you guys start the season's filming."

Secretly you thought he should have gone out with his friends, but you didn’t say anything, you didn’t want to push him.

More silence fell over the room , and Jensen got up off the bed. "Come on, I can't keep doing this. I can't keep hiding where I think I'm safe. The only way I'm going to get past this feeling is to just break off and do it right? Well let's go grab a bite to eat, just you and me, then we'll go down to the bar with everyone else," he says, pulling you into a sitting position.

"You sure that's what you wanna do?" you asked him, eyeing him closely.

He'd never brought you to a restaurant before. You figured because he just didn't want to talk to anyone else right now, but now you could see it.

Anxiety.

He was afraid to be out in public. He was scared.

You didn't even recognize it until right now, and you were already kicking yourself for being so damn blind to it.

"Yeah, I'm sure," he says, pulling you to him, kissing you softly.

You made a mental note to start paying more attention to the little things, and stop passing it off as just Jensen being Jensen, because you were starting to worry just how bad his anxiety was, and if he was trying to cover it up and keep it from you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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[mysticm3ss]

RFA+Saeran x MC who does muay thai

not requested, but i was at a muay thai class today and just started thinking abt this so i figured i’d write it. this is pure self-indulgence, sorry haha. if you haven’t heard of it before, muay thai is thai kickboxing ^^ (also i’m not claiming to be an expert by any means i’ve only been doing it for like 6 weeks i just rly like it)

Yoosung:

Lowkey terrified when he finds out.

That said, the experience in which he discovers your hobby isn’t exactly “ideal.”

It was late as the two of you walked home from one of your dates; the street lamps were dull, the traffic nothing but a slow trickle as you walked hand in hand down the footpath, sharing whispers and hushed giggles in the quiet of the night.

Safe by Yoosung’s side and all too occupied as the apple of his eye, you don’t even notice the person who had been following you the past block and a half.

When they make their presence known by grabbing your purse, your fight instincts take over and you slip easily into your muay thai stance, throwing quick, consecutive punches without thinking and easily blocking attempted counterattacks.

You follow it up with a knee to the liver and a brutal kick to their inner thigh. When you throw an uppercut elbow into their chin, they collapse into an unconscious heap before you.

Still shaking with adrenaline (and, to an extent, surprise at your own skill), you pry your purse from their grip and step away, only to find Yoosung gaping at you.

“...Yoosung?”

He blinks, shaking his head to snap himself from his stupor as he manages to stammer a response.

“M-MC... what the hell was that?! Oh my god, are you okay?!”

He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t hella turned on tbh

You chuckle sheepishly. “Heh. Yeah, I’m fine... you know how I go to the gym? It’s... technically a muay thai gym.”

Yoosung manages to nod, and stares in disbelief as you revert back to your usual self, pecking his cheek before taking his hand and continuing to walk down the pathway.

He can’t help but watch you in awe.

Wow, his partner is awesome.

Zen:

When Zen notices the bruises marring your legs and torso, he’s immediately concerned.

“Jagi... what happened? Are you okay? How did you get all these bruises? Is someone hurting you?!”

You can see the anger bubbling beneath the surface, and you run your hand down his arm soothingly before he can get too riled up.

“No, no, it’s fine, Zen... they’re just from muay thai.”

Zen’s brow furrows into the most adorable pout of confusion as he tilts his head to the side.

“...from what?”

You explain the sport to him, and his eyes light up with interest.

“Oh, wow! Maybe I could... go with you, sometime?” he suggests idly, and you nod eagerly.

The next week, you drag him to a beginner’s class.

The moment you walk into the gym, Zen’s chest tightens with jealously. The gym is full of guys. Shirtless guys. Fit shirtless guys.

When you greet them all as friends, even hugging a few who hadn’t been in for a while, Zen can’t help but pull you a little closer to his side.

“...MC, y-you come here almost every day?” he asks, and you giggle, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth and easily spotting the hint of insecurity in his eyes, and the protectiveness that shadowed it.

“Yes, and I come home to you,” you remind him, and he immediately relaxes, nodding and casting aside his worries as he instead focusses on enjoying the sport you devote so much time to.

You start off by teaching him how to wrap his hands and volunteering to hold pads for him first, once he’s learned some basic movements.

He’s already fit, so it doesn’t take him too long to get down the basic technique...

...but his punches are weak, his kicks weaker, and you know right away that he’s going easy on you.

“Zen. Babe. You can kick harder,” you prompt, and he chuckles.

“What? I know... I just...”

You grin, and the timer buzzes, signalling the end of the round.

When the instructor begins to describe the movements for the next round, he drags you to the front of the room to demonstrate, considering your experience in comparison to the other beginners. When he gets you to hold pads for him, Zen flinches as he watches the instructor knee the belly pad strapped around your waist, followed by the quick, solid roundhouse kick you easily catch with the pads. 

The thwack of flesh on leather has Zen half ready to leap to your defence, but he can only stare in awe as you easily absorb the impact.

You swap partners for the next round, and Zen couldn’t possibly describe his anxiety as he watches you partner up with someone almost twice your size.

His anxiety fades into admiration as he watches you land punch after punch, nailing kicks and knees into your partner’s waiting pads like nobody’s business.

he almost gets punched in the head (twice) while he’s not paying attention let’s be real

By the end of the class, Zen has already made friends with your buddies--if they’re important to you, they’re important to him, as well, and he’d be damned if he didn’t want to make a good first impression on them.

When the two of you head home that evening, Zen relents that maybe the sport isn’t for him (he can’t have bruises on his beautiful skin after all), but is always eager to support your interests.

Jaehee:

This judo enthusiast is thrilled when she hears that you enjoy a combat sport, as well.

Peppers you with questions about the differences between the two sports, and would honestly love to give sparring with you a go in order to compare techniques...

...which is exactly what the two of you end up doing.

You’re not trying to hurt each other, of course--you set boundaries and never go at each other with full power.

But when the two of you finish up, you’re both patterned with mottling bruises and aching limbs.

After a hot shower, the two of you cuddle up on the bed, all tangled limbs and gentle nuzzling as you press soft kisses to one another’s wounded skin.

You run your hands along Jaehee’s back and gently massage her sore muscles, feeling the tension seep from her body as she relaxes into the sheets, humming contentedly at your touch.

When you’re done, she returns the favour, ending it with a soft kiss to the lips that breaks as you both can’t help but smile against one another’s mouths.

“That was fun, MC...” she murmurs, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “But... maybe we should leave sparring to our respective classes. I don’t like the idea of hurting you.”

You smile, wincing as you shuffle to glance over at her, body still throbbing dully in pain.

She mimics the action, ribs obviously sore and arms tired as they wrap around your waist, warm and soft.

“Mmm... good idea,” you reply, pressing your face into her neck and placing a soft kiss to her jaw. “I don’t want to hurt you, either.”

Jumin:

When Jumin finds out about your hobby, he’s a mix between intrigued and impressed.

“MC, as much as I love that you’re capable of defending yourself, you do realise we have a whole security team dedicated to your safety...?”

You smile goodnaturedly and explain to him that it’s not just about the self-defence, though that is an added bonus; it’s about the stress relief and satisfaction of being able to nail a certain move or combo, and the thrill that comes with sparring.

When he sees just how much you enjoy it, he considers hiring a world titleholder to act as your personal trainer.

And as much as the idea of meeting such a skilled individual excites you, you explain that it’s really not necessary.

You love the comradeship you have at your gym, and your primary goal isn’t to fight professionally, anyways. You’re happy where you are.

Definitely buys you top-notch equipment--we’re talking brand new gloves and shin pads, so fancy that you’re a little scared to imagine the heavy price tag they bore.

Loves to watch you practise shadowboxing around the house, and peppers you with questions about your technique.

Even asks you to show him a few moves.

let’s just say that muay thai is not jumin’s forte

Regardless, you appreciate his interest in your passion, and definitely enjoy the hot baths he draws to soothe your sore muscles, and the loving attention he pays you afterwards.

Seven:

“MC, that’s amazing~! Who would’ve thought my innocent sweetie was so tough and talented!”

Honestly, the idea of you engaging in the sport is really exciting to him.

and turns him on to no end

Eager to drive you to, and pick you up from, all of the classes you go to throughout the week.

Your biggest supporter if you ever choose to fight, and working out with you is one of the few things that can drag him away from the constraints of his work.

He doesn’t mention it, but the fact that you’re somewhat competent in combat is also really reassuring to him.

Knowing that you can look after yourself if the situation arose? Super comforting to him, especially regarding his line of work.

Insists on sparring with you.

“Saeyoung, do you even know anything about muay thai, let alone how to spar in it?”

“Whaaaaat? Of course~!”

(He doesn’t)

(He doesn’t even block any of your punches)

(C’mon man you’re a secret agent you know how to block a goddamn punch)

“Ohh, MC, you’re just too strong for me~ God Seven is forced to surrender!”

Brags about you to the RFA chat every other day.

“Hey, did you know MC can totally beat me up~?”

“...Seven, confine your kinks to the bedroom please”--the entire RFA

Regardless, he’s super proud of you and will always, always support your interests, especially one he finds so cool!

Saeran:

It makes him uneasy.

The idea of a bunch of people throwing punches at you, with only a foam pad between you and their fist or elbow?

Nope. Not a fan.

And when you come home with bruises?!?!

“I thought you said they weren’t really hurting you?!”

“Sae, I literally did this to myself. The boxing bags aren’t soft on my shins, y’know.”

Begrudgingly admits he’s glad you know how to defend yourself, though.

Plus he sees how happy you are when you come home, and nothing can beat the flutter in his chest when he sees the light in your eyes and the grin on your face, even when you’re sweaty and sore.

Eventually, it’s something that he gets used to, and he finds himself kissing the bruises marring your skin and rubbing tiger palm into your sore muscles.

So long as you’re happy, so is he.

hope you enjoyed! i don’t expect many people to read this one but if you’ve made it this far, why not reblog or comment and let me know what you think? xx

[txtdiaries]

Momentum - Chapter One

SUMMARY | Your perennial crush on campus golden boy, Choi Soobin, isn’t one you think is shared; but a late night study session in the library with the man of the hour might just be enough to prove you wrong.

PAIRING | Soobin X Reader

CATEGORY | college au, crush, slow burn, studying, academia, etc.

WORD COUNT | 4.1k

WARNINGS | swearing

SONG REC | Edge Of Desire - John Mayer

PLAYLIST | momentum playlist

Preview / Chapter One / Chapter Two

Your fingers are itching to slam the book in front of you shut.

Itching to slam it shut so hard that it echoes throughout the practically empty library you’re in - so loudly that the librarians shoot daggers at you with their eyes. You want to lean over, zip your backpack closed, and run out of the ancient hell hole as fast as you can.

You don’t.

You know you could - exams and you don’t mix well, so you’ll probably flunk all of them anyway - but you force yourself to stay rooted in the uncomfortable wooden chair beneath you. You force yourself, for the sake of your future.

Studying physics isn’t exactly what you’d like to be doing on any given Friday night, especially this one, but here you are. After flipping through a book twice the size of your pencil case propped next to you, you finally settle on a chapter explaining thermodynamics. Your eyes scan the words helplessly. You’re totally going to flunk. Luckily for you, though, you don’t have a lot of time to dwell on this sad fact, because a certain gray haired boy makes his presence known suddenly, taking you away from the matter at hand.

“Hey loser.” His voice cuts through the silence surrounding you, and you look up to see Yeonjun, your best friend, sliding into the chair across from you. He’s grinning widely like he knows something you don’t, and you tilt your head at him in curiosity.

“Hi yourself. What’s up?”

“Nothing much. Just that your soulmate is on his way down to the library and should be here in about thirty or so seconds.”

Now you’re really not worried about physics. Except maybe the kind going on with you.

His words send your heart lurching in your chest, and your hands fly up to sort out your hair, your top, and embarrassingly, even your skirt.

“Twenty seconds,” Yeonjun chuckles as you rip open your pencil case, flipping open your small compact mirror to try and fix your appearance, “Not much longer now.”

“Shut up.” You hiss. Usually, you wouldn’t care about how you looked, especially not for a guy. But this was different.

Because it was Soobin. And Soobin was different.

You’d be dumb to pretend that you were the only one on campus to like him. Most of the girls did, and even a few guys did, but you couldn’t blame any of them. The boy was a sight for sore eyes, and his personality only made him that much better. You didn’t put him on a pedestal by any means, you just really liked him. Unfortunately though, other people did too, and the black-haired boy probably knew it. Which means that your chances were close to non-existent. That being said, it didn’t ever hurt to try and put a little more effort in.

“Five, four, three…” Yeonjun counts after awhile of you straightening out your makeup. You click the small compact shut and shove it back into your case, coughing lightly to clear your throat before straightening in your seat. Perfectly on cue, as if timed by Yeonjun exactly, the one and only Choi Soobin walks into the library silently, bag thrown carelessly over one shoulder.

Your breath shouldn’t squeeze from your lungs when you see him, but it does. Amid staring the tall boy down as he walks cluelessly to a table just to the left of you, Yeonjun laughs at you. You ignore him and watch sneakily as Soobin sits down. You’re completely enthralled by his very being, and all he’s doing is sitting down. God, get it together, you think to yourself.

It’s completely silent on your part as Soobin unzips his backpack and pulls out his laptop and study supplies, but you’re internally screaming. You truly understand right then, just why they call it a crush. Every single thing he does adds a dangerous pressure to your chest, and you feel like you could burst with adoration just by watching him do a regular, everyday thing. Yeonjun on the other hand fails to take notice your internal battle as he pulls out his own supplies himself, slapping his notebook and textbook on the table noisily.

You’re about to glare, but you catch sight of something on one of Soobin’s notebooks suddenly, and your heart starts pounding again.

A small bunny sticker in all its glory is stuck to the bottom right corner of his black notebook, and for some reason, it’s absolutely adorable to you.

Choi Soobin, the six foot something man, who - when he’s not wearing his usual button up and skinny jean combo, is usually clad in all black head to toe - has a bunny sticker on his English notebook. Your heart is about to burst on sight, so you look away with a dumb smile adorning your face.

Yeonjun flips through his math textbook, but stops when he sees you.

“What- he can’t be that cute, can he?” The boy glances over as you hide your face shyly, hoping he doesn’t draw attention to the two of you.

“He can, but it was just something I saw. Don’t even worry about it.”

“I think you should go sit with him.” Yeonjun suggests as he pulls a worksheet from its place in-between his textbook’s pages before starting to work.

“What?” Your voice raises a few octaves and a librarian glares at you from behind the front counter rudely. You smile apologetically before leaning in a bit closer to Yeonjun, shocked, “Don’t be ridiculous. I can’t just go... sit with him. He probably already saw us sitting here together anyway. It’ll look desperate.”

“Desperate is your middle name, is it not?” Yeonjun smirks at you playfully.

“I will not hesitate to deck you in the face right now.” You frown at him. He snorts at this before doing an equation on his paper.

“Maybe I should just make the move for you then, since it’s clear you won’t ever speak to him.” He jokes, unaware of the fear that shows through your eyes as you register his words. You’re unable to speak as panic shoots through your entire body, and Yeonjun only looks up with a wide smile, as if he’s just figured out the entire meaning of life.

“Actually,” He starts again, eyes lighting up, “I think I will make the move for you. What do you think of that?”

“Yeonjun, don’t-”

You’re too late as the gray-haired boy leans over in his seat boldly, hands pressed flat against the oak table to stable himself as he calls out gently, “Hey, Soobin right?”

Your blood runs cold as Soobin looks up from his laptop, eyes landing on Yeonjun before flicking to you. He hesitates a second before looking back at the boy, head nodding gently as he says, “Um, yeah. What’s up?”

You feel heat pool in your stomach when he speaks, because damn, you really fucking forgot just how deep his voice actually was, and you feel dizzy as he smiles softly, his kindness evident.

“Well the thing is,” Yeonjun starts, your eyes moving from Soobin to your best friend, “Y/N here, she’s really bad at physics. Like, embarrassingly bad, and I was just wondering if maybe you could be of any assistance? That is, if you’re good at it. I’d help her, but I’m only good at Math, and I’ve also gotta get going soon.”

You open your mouth to defend yourself because one, you’re not that bad at physics, and two, what the hell is Yeonjun actually doing? Before you can say anything, though, he’s talking again, and you silently ask God if the ground can swallow all of you collectively up or something equally as tragic because the boy in front of you will not shut the fuck up for the life of him.

“She’s really shy so she didn’t want to ask you herself, but I said I’d do her a solid just this once and ask instead. Isn’t that right, Y/N?” Yeonjun finally looks at you, and so does Soobin, causing you to feel sick.

“I-”

“Well there you go.” Yeonjun nods firmly, flipping his math book shut before stuffing it in his backpack. He hardly lets anyone else talk before he’s speaking again, “Anyway, thanks Soobin! You’re the man. I hope the study sesh doesn’t cut into any of your own work. If it does, Y/N can buy you a coffee or something to make up for it.”

Your eyes find Soobin again, and he looks just as confused as you. You could kill Yeonjun for this.

“I’ll see you later.” The boy finishes before lifting his backpack over his shoulders and giving you a playful salute, walking backwards towards the exit while giving you a double thumbs up as he leaves, only causing the anxiety in you to grow even more. Scratch what you said earlier, you were definitely going to kill him for this.

“I’m sorry.” You start breathlessly when Yeonuun finally disappears. You look at Soobin, and your cheeks burn when you meet his eyes again, but he doesn’t look annoyed like you expect him to. Instead, his lips are tilted up in a small grin, and one perfect dimple is hollowing out on his right cheek.

“Uh,” He starts, “Do you want to come over to my table or should I move to yours?”

You’re taken aback at his words, and you watch as his eyes widen slightly.

“I mean- what I mean by that is, like, I’m not the best at physics but I can help you if you want.” The boy clarifies, his shyness seemingly getting the best of him. You want to laugh at his change in attitude.

“No it’s fine I can-”

“I’ll just-” Soobin says at the same time, standing clumsily before swinging his backpack over his shoulder. He struggles to get all of his things together, and you pretend to not notice when his pencil falls on the floor as he walks over. He sets down his things, bends over to swipe his pencil off the ground, and you’re hit with the smell of his cologne suddenly as his stuff surrounds you. You could pass out.

You bite your lip and turn your focus to the window, trying to not stare directly at the boy now less than ten inches in front of you as he flicks through his notebook again. It’s snowing outside, mercilessly coming down in small white clumps, and you already know you’re going to dread the walk back to your dorm later.

Soobin clears his throat and flattens the bent page in front of him, finally getting your attention again. The last thing you expected when you came into the library tonight was to be sitting right in front of the boy you were helplessly in love with, but here you were. And it was all thanks to your pain in the ass best friend Yeonjun. Maybe he was onto something when he had Soobin come over, though.

“So, uh, what are you having trouble with?” Soobin asks. His glasses are perched on the edge of his nose, and the lenses glare slightly when he moves his head just a bit closer, talking softly. You try to not stare at his white button up, or the way the sleeves are rolled up to expose his arms, before clearing your own throat and looking down at your book.

“Um, thermodynamics.”

You look up as Soobin hisses almost silently, “Ooo, yikes. Thermodynamics and me, we don’t mix well.”

You grin just a bit and breathe out a laugh, because that’s exactly something you would say, Soobin smiles back shyly.

“It’s fine,” You shake your head, “I understand if you only came over because of what Yeon said. I’m actually not that bad at physics so I’ll manage if you wanna head back over to your table.”

Soobin furrows his eyebrows at you, as if he’s actually confused on why you could have said such a thing. You feel dumb all of a sudden. You should have kept your mouth shut.

“No, it’s okay,” He shakes his head gently, “It’s actually nice sitting with someone else while studying. It’s a nice distraction when things get boring.”

You try to not stare at his lips when he talks, but you can’t help but notice the slight lisp that softens his speech, which causes your eyes to switch from his gaze to his lips. You nod in agreement with him, even though you barely comprehend his actual words. He’s just that distracting.

“Oh- okay then.”

Soobin grins at you and then opens up his english book, starting to write on the paper in front of him messily. 

You try your very best to try and read again, you really do, but there’s no way it’s happening now. If you couldn’t understand the words before, there’s no chance you can now, with Soobin sitting right in front of you.

You’re staring at the pages, eyes moving left to right to feign reading, but really - you’re hyperfocusing on Soobin’s every little detail - scared that if you don’t, you won’t be able to remember any of it the next time he isn’t near.

“What are you studying?” You speak up, surprising even yourself as you look away from your work and over to Soobin’s, leaning over greedily; desperately. You’re sharing the same space as him, you may as well make it worth it.

“Subject and object pronouns,” His dark eyes flick up to you, “And when to use them.”

“That’s not that bad.” You smile softly, meeting his eyes. He looks down quickly, back to his messy handwriting. “No, it’s not.”

Silence falls over the two of you again, and you mentally curse yourself for not being able to hold a conversation. You’ve fantasized about this moment for months: The day when you’d finally talking to Soobin and capture his attention long enough that he can’t physically look away, so much that he has no chance but to fall for you. It’s sad, really. You’ve thought of making him laugh so hard he throws his head back in amusement, or making him smile so big both of his dimples carve a permanent place on his cheeks. You’ve thought a hundred times over about everything except this - sitting right in front of him - in pure silence.

You take notice of the slight bags under Soobin’s eyes as he works, before you look down at your book again. You allow yourself to really hope that he isn’t overworking himself, but you know better. Soobin, who was clearly an overachiever, admittedly did a lot. Not only was he one of the very few University Prefects on campus, but he also did a number of extracurriculars, followed by sports as well. Because Choi Soobin was just that: a golden boy who was just good at… well, everything. As well as being one of the very rare students to be in the top percentile grade-wise at your university, he was also the type of person to always work, work, work. He wasn’t just a pretty face, and he proved that to everyone, every single day.

“So your friend got out of here pretty fast,” Soobin speaks up, still looking at his work, “That wouldn’t be because of me... would it?”

You open your mouth to deny it, but a part of you - a really small part of you - wonders what would happen if you were to actually tell Soobin the truth. That, yes, he left so we could be alone and I will probably kick his ass later for it. Soobin looks up at you slowly, folding his arms gently on the table as he leans forward just a bit more. He’s testing the waters, you realize. He’s offering himself up. 

You almost choke.

“I-I don’t know.” You lie, “I think he just really hates studying.”

What the fuck? You want to scream at yourself. You weren’t normally so bad at lying, but under Soobin’s stare, you could barely remember your own name, let alone an excuse to save your behind.

You think all hope is lost, and you’re mentally planning your own funeral before the edge of Soobin’s lip twitches, and then stretches into a tiny grin.

“Well,” He says, almost hesitantly, “I’m glad he hates studying, then. I actually, uh, I wanted to come sit at your table when I walked in, I just didn’t want to intrude or anything.”

You don’t know what to say. You don’t know if you should take it as a compliment or not. Surely it was meant to be taken positively, but you just didn’t know how to process it - Soobin complimenting you.

“You wouldn’t have been intruding,” You finally say, noticing how his brown eyes soften a bit when you do, “Yeonjun doesn’t really study anyway, he just talks the whole time.”

Soobin laughs suddenly, and you feel your heart practically explode in your chest at this because you made Soobin laugh, and the sound was so beautiful it left you laughing along with him. You barely feel bad for exposing Yeonjun. After all, he was the one who got you into this mess. He deserves to be exposed.

“I have a friend like that,” Soobin momentarily drops his pencil as he perks up a bit. You do the same, listening to him intently.

“His name’s Tae, and whenever we get together to study, like, debate topics or whatever-” 

You mentally clock that Soobin does that as well - Debate Team. He really has no limits.

“-I’ll be trying to do flash cards or something, and he’s there like, ‘Hey Bin, why don’t we play some video games instead?’ or, ‘Honestly, who cares about the economic crisis in Venezuela?’”

You laugh at his words, and he scratches the back of his neck, visibly blushing. You notice as he looks down, most likely mentally checking himself.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to bore you with studying stories or anything, I just think it’s funny that our friends are so similar.”

“No, it’s fine,” You give him a genuine smile, “You aren’t boring me. I kind of wanted to take a break anyway. Physics is boring.”

“Not as boring as english.” Soobin quirks an eyebrow, “The questions are all, ‘which pronoun should be placed in the sentence, blank walked in the classroom.’ like, this is elementary stuff. I could do it in my sleep, if I ever got any.”

“Oh my god, literally.” You agree, “It’s not hard to tell a pronoun from a noun, or vice versa. I wish they’d actually give us challenging stuff to do for English rather than just refreshing us on grammar or, uh, parts of speech? It’s draining.”

“It is,” Soobin says, voice deepening slightly, as if his exhaustion agrees with you as well. You nod again, still looking at him.

“I feel like… well, you do a lot, don’t you? Apart from studies.” You creep dangerously close to the line dividing curiousity and nosiness, allowing yourself to voice your thoughts at his small comment. After all, if you were careful, what could it hurt?

Soobin rests his chin on his folded arms on the table before nodding up at you, looking a lot younger in the moment. Your heart skips a beat at the sight.

“Yeah, I do way too much. Sports like baseball and soccer that have overlapping seasons -  which is literal hell by the way- and also stuff like debate and student council. I’m also part of this literary club which, if I’m being honest, really kills me.”

“Yeah, I’d die on sight. Even hearing all of that makes me wanna collapse.” You tell Soobin honestly, and he chuckles at your words. The effect is not lost on you as your heart starts picks up frantically against your chest again.

“It’s not too bad, I just consume a lot of coffee and run on exactly zero hours of sleep.”

“All while keeping honors?” You question, giving him a teasing grin.

“All while keeping honors.” He shakes his head at himself, almost in disbelief. You notice this and tilt your head.

“I actually think that’s pretty amazing you know, the fact that you’re able to do so much.”

“It could be more.” He says, shaking his head. You furrow your brows and he backtracks.

“I mean - it’s a lot, don’t get me wrong - but I could be doing more. A lot of people think I should be doing more, anyway.”

You think of your words carefully before saying them, “I think that if it was more, you’d run yourself into the ground. You’re already great, don’t strive to wreck yourself.”

Soobin stares into your eyes as you say this, looking almost stunned. He was probably glad you weren’t telling him to pile on club after club. Telling him that the him he is now, the him who tries as hard as humanly possible, isn’t good enough. For a second, you’re saddened at the thought that someone, somewhere, already had.

“That’s just what I think anyway-” You get cut off by Soobin speaking again in a rushed voice.

“Do you want to do something sometime?”

The question shuts you up instantly.

“Do I… what?” You ask incredulously, staring into his eyes.

Soobin hides his face in his hands suddenly, his shoulders shaking with his laughter.

“Wait, I’m sorry.” He says, hands dropping only after a few moments, “I didn’t mean to spring that onto you like that.” 

You almost think that he’s going to take the whole thing back, and the thought makes you panic. Instead though, the dark-haired boy shakes his head before he speaks again.

“What I meant to say was-” He clears his throat, “Would you want to do something with me sometime? Like, dinner or something?”

You catch onto his awkwardness and bite your lip to keep from smiling too widely.

“Where did that come from?” You ask shyly, trying to keep it together. Soobin bites his bottom lip gently before saying, “I just... well, I’ve been wanting to ask you for awhile. Last week in our communications class when you did that really pretty thing with your hair. When you smiled at me when you saw me leaving my literary club. I don’t know, I’ve been meaning to ask for awhile, I just never got the chance to... until now. Also, we haven’t exactly talked until now, to be fair.”

You feel like you can’t breathe. You didn’t think in a million years that you would even talk to Soobin, let alone be asked on a date by him. He takes your silence as doubt before starting to ramble.

“We could go see a movie or something- oh! We could go to that cool new roller skating place they just built off campus? I can’t remember the name of it right now but maybe that would be fun?”

You chuckle as he continues.

“Um… maybe a picnic? Wait, actually, it’s too cold for a picnic. An indoor picnic could be cool though?”

You lift your hand up between the two of you, momentarily silencing the boy in front of you so you can speak, “Yes I’d like to do something with you, whatever it is.” You watch as he visibly sighs.

“I mean-” Your eyes go wide at yourself, “A date! Obviously. I don’t mean anything else.”

Soobin visibly panics as well, cheeks tinting a harsh pink suddenly, “Oh! I-”

“Well, I-” You try to combat your words, but then quickly slap a hand over your mouth. You’d rather be punched in the stomach than admit to Soobin himself that you thought he was attractive - enough to the point where you thought of doing rated things with him. You feel your own cheeks heat up as he hides his face again. You look down and laugh nervously after they drop.

“It’s fine,” He chuckles, “It’s fine. I feel the same.”

You look up again and smile, noticing that he doesn’t hide his blush this time.

Soobin’s the first to make a move, and he wordlessly slips over a small piece of paper with his number scribbled onto it messily after leaning over it to write for what seems like hours. You feel your body buzz with nerves, as if it’s a sacred thing. The Choi Soobin has just given you his number, and he wants you to actually use it.

“Okay,” He finally says, slipping his stuff into his backpack, “So, uh, you’ll text me then?”

“Yeah.” You nod a bit too eagerly. Soobin doesn’t notice. And if he does, he doesn’t seem to mind as he nods back at the same pace.

“Alright, I should get going then. I’m sorry I couldn’t help you with physics”

You laugh, smiling lightly, “It’s fine. I’ll text you soon.”

“I look forward to it.” He says before swinging his backpack over one shoulder and taking an awkward step back from the table.

“Bye-”

“Bye Y/N-” 

You two cut eachother off before laughing together a final time.

“Bye Soobin.” You retry, “Get to your dorm safe.”

He nods, “Bye Y/N. You too.”

And then he’s gone, leaving you on cloud nine, and ready to scream the news to Yeonjun from across campus.

You couldn’t believe it.

Because Choi fucking Soobin asked you out. And you said yes.

What could possibly happen when you finally decide to text him?

[she-is-tim]

I love hating you | Elu enemies to lovers AU | Ch. 2

Previous Chapters: 1

Lucas is an angry, closeted and frustrated gay teenager, while Eliott is the handsome, smart and popular guy in school. They hate each other… but not forever.

You are surprising

Lucas woke up with a terrible headache, feeling sick. He walked to the bathroom, taking in a painkiller and brushing his teeth. He could feel the smell of sweat and alcohol on himself. His face looked like a car accident with some horseshit on top of it. He walked back to the couch where he was sleeping, he hoped that Mika has to work today, so he won’t be bothering him. Lisa usually spent the weekends in her room anyways. Manon was still upset because of her breaking up with Charles, so she didn’t really came out of her room during weekends either. 

He laid down, trying to ignore the terrible sound of his “bed”. It wasn’t really uncomfortable and considering that he barely could pay the rent, it was more than he could have asked for. He pulled the blanket over his head. His legs felt numb now, his stomach was tiny, his chest hurt. He knew it was just his anxiety trying to take over, but it still freaked him out. Feeling so empty was just the worst. 

As he was struggling with his apathy, flashes of last night started to hunt his brain. He barely remembered anything after the first joint he smoke with Arthur. He could feel a touch of warm hands on his shoulder, a nice smell coming into his nose, stormy blue eyes appearing in his mind. Lucas pulled up his knees to his chest, still staying under the blanket. He wanted to stop thinking about it, but flashes of Eliott just kept coming. 

His happy smile, the way he looked at Lucas when they were in the bus stop, the feeling of his arms around him. His warm and strong chest, his messy hair and oh, those damn blue eyes. Lucas wanted to scream, rip out his brain and just throw it away. He was feeling everything and nothing at the same time. He hated this.

It was a real struggle going to school on monday, especially since he spend his sunday arguing with Mika. He was telling Lucas how lazy and useless he was around the house, that he was supposed to take care of the dishes on saturday and clean the bathroom, but he didn’t do it. Lucas was far beyond the point where he tried to explain things to his flatmate, because it was pointless. And Mika was also done with Lucas’ bullshit. They both knew that Lucas wasn’t being honest, but since the younger one refused to talk about his problems, Mika couldn’t do anything for him. 

He walked to his locker, taking out the books he needed and putting in the ones he doesn’t need until afternoon. He was so busy with packing, he didn’t notice the person appearing by his side, leaning to the lockers, arms crossed in front of his chest. When he closed the door of his locker, he jumped back, looking like a deer caught in headlight. Eliott smirked at him, eyes sparkling like the summer sky. 

“Morning.” He said on a soft tone, looking excited. Lucas had no idea why he was acting like this and he didn’t even wanted to know. “Are you okay?”

“Someone definitely overdosed you this morning, Demaury.” he said with a suspicious look on his face. 

“I think it was you who got a bit too overdosed on friday.” he said, still with that annoying smile on his face. 

“Thank you for reminding me of that.” he said, rolling his eyes. He was hugging his backpack to his chest, hoping that Eliott will finally leave, so he can breathe a little. 

“You didn’t even let me get you a taxi. But I can see you got home safe.” he said, reaching his hand out to put a stray lock of hair behind Lucas’ ear. The smaller boy jumped a little, taking a step back. Eliott seemed to be amused by that. Fuck you, Demaury.

“Don’t touch me.” he said angrily. 

Eliott was ready to answer when someone walked to them, punching his shoulder gently. It was Alex, smiling brightly, ruffling his friends hair, which made Eliott’s smile to turn into a grumpy expression.

“Morning, Eliott.” he said happily and then looked at Lucas, giving him a fistbump. “Morning, Lulu.” 

“Good morning, Alex.” Lucas said with a soft smile, it always cheered him up how this guy was acting like Lucas was his younger brother. 

“What do you want, dude?” Eliott asked a bit annoyed, Lucas was surprised how his enthusiasm were gone now. He seemed to be annoyingly happy just a couple minutes ago. 

“I am not here because of you.” Alex said and handed Lucas the scarf he left at his place on friday. “Here, I guess this one is yours, Lulu.” He said smiling, ignoring the piercing stare he got from Eliott. Lucas smiled happily, he totally forgot about his scarf, and it was kinda cold today, so he will need it for sure. He grabbed it and stuffed into his bag. 

“Thanks, Alex. I thought I lost it forever.” 

“Next time make sure you don’t leave it behind.” he said softly, ruffling Lucas’ hair. The short one chuckled, he really felt like the younger brother of Alex, it made his day a bit less shitty. 

“I will, thank you.” 

“No worries.” Alex said and walked away with a big smile on his face. Lucas was still smiling, looking back at Eliott, who seemed to be really upset now. He tilted his head, looking into those stormy eyes. He’s so fucking handsome.

“What’s wro...”

“Whatever, I’m going to class.” Eliott said, walking away just as quickly as he appeared. Lucas was watching him a bit shocked and confused. He is just as weird as good looking. 

Days passed and Lucas haven’t see Eliott much, only on their literature class, but he was strangely quiet, barely even said hi to Lucas. The small boy was a bit concerned about his behavior, not admitting to himself that he was actually worried. 

On wednesday he got a message from his mother, a short verse from the bible, including the fires of hell and some other shit like that. Lucas tried to forget about it. He had to text his father to remind him that he needed to pay the rent. His parents were just the worst, even though his mother wasn’t like this on purpose, it felt like he had no one to rely on. 

He was already very frustrated, so after his classes he decided to go to the common room. He had no patience to listen to Mika’s bullshit and he had no chores to do today anyways. He walked in, but the girls weren’t there. He was surprised, but also glad. It was nice to be finally alone, letting go of himself and forgetting the lies he was building each day. 

He looked at the piano in the corner, right in front of that terrible mural. Daphné was planning to repaint it, she had a lot of ideas to redecorate the common room, maybe that’s why they weren’t here. He could remember Emma saying that they wanted to get some stuff for Daphné’s plans this week. 

His steps were unsure a bit, but then he decided to fuck it and walked to the piano, sitting down on the little bench in front of it. He opened the key lid, looking at the black and white keyboard. He haven’t played in a long time now, since they didn’t have a piano at the flat, but he loved to learn playing the piano, making his mom smile with some silly or happy music. 

He was searching for melodies in his head, he remembered a complicated piece from a couple years ago. He was supposed to go to a competition with it, but his mom snapped just a day before, so he had to take care of her. He put his fingers on the keys, they were cold, but made him feel warm in his chest. A bit of nostalgia crawled its way up inside him and this time he let it to take over. He took a deep breath and started to play. 

His mind got lost into the song, he closed his eyes and enjoyed the freedom he felt spreading in his chest. He forgot about his pain, his worries, his lies, he was just living with the music his fingers created on the instrument. It was really magical and he felt sad when the song ended. He wished it could go on forever, to just sit here and keep playing the piano until the end of the world. 

He stopped playing, opening his eyes when he heard slow clapping, he jumped, turning around quickly to see Eliott Demaury himself standing in the door of the common room. He was standing there a while now, cause his bag was in front of his legs, not on his back. He was wearing dark jeans that were ripped at the knee parts, a black shirt and his usual hoodie jacket combo. But the thing that catched Lucas’ attention was his stunning smile and those piercing eyes. They were filled with so much emotion, focusing on Lucas like he was the only person on the whole world. 

“That was awesome.” Eliott said after a minute of clapping. 

Lucas didn’t know what to say, just watched as Eliott grabbed the straps of his bag, walking inside and closing the door behind him. He felt his heart beating faster as the boy got closer and closer. Finally he was standing in front of Lucas, looking down at him, still with that weird expression on his face. He couldn’t decide what he saw in those eyes, they looked like the sea on a really windy day, filled with waves of emotions. 

“You are surprising.” he said, looking into Lucas’ eyes.

“I wasn’t expecting anyone to hear it.” He mumbled, finally able to find his voice, but that was basically all he could push out. He was just in total panic thanks to the tall boy, stading so close to him. His neck was hurting because of looking up at him, but he didn’t wanted to break eyecontact.

“Didn’t know you can play piano. I wonder if there’s anything else you keep in secret.” he said with a soft, teasing smile.

“Not like you don’t know it already.” Lucas said, pointing out how Eliott knows about his sexuality.

“That was more of a guess. And you made my suspicions turn out to be right with how you reacted to me.” he said smiling. Lucas could punch him in the face. How dare he be so stunningly sweet? That was illegal. 

“I hate you so much.” Lucas mumbled, blaming his own stupidity for letting Eliott indirectly know that he is gay. The tall boy chuckled, running his fingers through his own hair, looking at Lucas happily.

“I know that.” he said smiling. 

“Why are you here?” Lucas couldn’t find a better question to ask, his brain was fucking him up so bad. Eliott’s smell was crawling into his nose, the flashes from friday night started to haunt him again. He remembered Eliott’s arms around his body, holding him so carefully, but still strongly. He remembered the warmth of his body and his breath on his neck. He got goosebumps just thinking about it. 

“I was on my way going home, then I heard the music. When I saw you sitting here, playing the piano... I just couldn’t leave.” he explained. 

Lucas felt his heart skipping a beat, he couldn’t tell why, but it made him happy that Eliott wanted to stay and listen to his music. They were staring at each other for long minutes, he had no idea who took the first move, but their face was so close now that he felt Eliott’s breath on his lips. He closed his eyes, lips opening a little. He was just following the moment, not thinking about what he was about to do. Their lips almost touched, when they heard a loud banging. 

Eliott pulled back, putting his bag on his shoulder, looking really lost and avoiding to look into the other boy’s eyes. The girls walked into the common room, bringing lots of special stuff with them, chatting and laughing loudly. They were already inside when they noticed the boys. Lucas quickly closed the lid of the piano. Manon and Emma were too busy talking, but Daphné smiled at them softly. 

“Hey, I wasn’t expecting of you guys to be here.” she said softly. “We got some supplies to redecorate the common room.” 

“That’s amazing, Daphy.” Lucas said softly, trying to forget about that moment with Eliott, which was hard considering that said boy was standing just a few meters away from him. 

“I was just... I heard you wanna repaint that shit.” Eliott said, pointing at the mural. “If you need help with it, I can try to make something better to cover it.” he offered with a little smile now. He looked at Lucas, who was staring at him in awe. Eliott repainting the mural? How can he be so fucking perfect? 

“Oh really?” Daphné asked with that bright smile of her. “That is so generous of you! I would love that.” she said excitedly. “I was actually worried, since I didn’t wanted to just repaint it to a certain color, but none of us is really the artistic type, y’know.” she said looking at the girls. They were packing stuff out of bags and boxes, discussing where to put all those, how to start the decoration. 

“I’ll let you know when I have free time to do it.” Eliott said. “I gotta go now. See you.” he said, but when he said the last two words, he was looking at Lucas only, which made the boy gasp. Then Eliott disappeared behind the door and he stayed there with the girls. He joined them in the packing, trying to get into the conversation, so he wouldn’t be thinking about that he almost kissed Eliott fucking Demaury. 

It was really late, Lucas was staring at his phone, more specifically a picture of Eliott on instagram. It was just a simple selfie, he looked into the camera, his hair was messy, he had dark circles around his eyes like always. He wasn’t smiling, well not the way he smiled at Lucas. It was just a half-smirk playing on his lips. The caption said: “Missing you”.

He posted it like 6 hours ago, not much after he left the common room. People in the comments were freaking out, mostly girls. They were guessing who the caption could be about, asking questions, but Eliott didn’t reply to any of those. Lucas didn’t know what to think about all this. He had a weird feeling that the caption was about him, but he didn’t wanted to think about that. He can’t have feelings for Eliott, not a good idea. What if I already feel something? 

Lucas showed his phone under his pillow, closing his eyes, but all he could see was Eliott’s face. His eyes while he was clapping, smiling at Lucas. His face before they leant close to each other. The smell of Eliott kept haunting him, it was infuriating. 

He spent long hours, suffering from his own thoughts. This caused him to sleep only 3 or 4 hours. He drank two mugs of black coffee in the morning before going to school. It wasn’t the best idea, but he had to stay awake and function in school somehow. 

Literature was his third class, but Lucas still looked like a walking dog poop. His eyelids tried to close every fifth minute, his limbs felt heavy, he sat down to his place, totally not noticing that Eliott is there. His mind could only process one thing at a time, and that was him trying not to fall asleep. 

He jumped a little when a warm hand touched his shoulder, looking to his left and seeing Eliott made his face feel suddenly really hot. First he thought it was embarrassment, but then he felt dizzy, not understanding what Eliott was saying to him. His eyes closed, his body was falling, ending up in strong arms. They everything ceased to exist and Lucas enjoyed the nothing surrounding him.

Quiet noises made him open his eyes, he wasn’t sure where he was, but he laid in a bed, having a blanket on him, but still wearing his indoor outfit, so he was definitely not home. His eyelids felt heavy, his head was spinning, but he slowly opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was a pair of blue eyes. His heart was fluttering of the thought that Eliott was there with him.

“Hey, how are you?” he asked softly, he looked relieved now that Lucas was conscious again. 

“I feel dizzy.” he said honestly, struggling to put his body into sitting position. He could see that Eliott wasn’t happy that he moved so much, but didn’t do anything to stop him. “What happened?” 

“You fainted in class.” he said simply. His eyes were dark, filled with worry which made Lucas smile a little. 

“Yeah, that makes sense.” he mumbled and laid back on the soft pillows. It felt good to finally get some rest in a real bed and not on a goddamn couch. “Sorry that you had to take care of me.” he said now, hugging the blanket on his body, looking at every little expression the other one makes. 

“Yeah, I had to carry you here, it wasn’t easy.” he said with a soft smile. “You owe me a lot, Lallemant.” the way he said Lucas’ name gave him goosebumps.

“Oh yeah?” 

“Yeah, you can make it up with...”

“Lulu!” Arthur, Yann and Basile stormed into the nursing room loudly, running to the bed, surrounding Lucas, asking questions, talking to fast for him to understand.

“Hey! Hey! Guys, I am fine, but calm down! I can’t understand shit.” he said, raising his hand to stop his friends talking. From the corner of his eyes he saw Eliott leaving, using that the boys were focused on Lucas. Of course he didn’t wanted to stay. Why would he wanna stay with such a loser as you, Lucas? 

He told his friends what happened, trying to avoid mentioning Eliott. Luckily they were focused on the fact that Lucas fainted and asked if he was sick. He told them that he has some trouble sleeping, but other than that he was fine. Well, they were asking about his physical health, so he actually wasn’t lying to them this time. 

He spent the rest of the day in the nursing room, resting and thinking about Eliott. He went home around 16:20, the school doctor made sure he got food, enough water and anything else. She was really nice to Lucas, which was a fresh thing after all the things he had to endure at the flat and from his parents. 

He was laying on the couch, the others were either not home or working, he had no idea, but he enjoyed the silence. He looked at his phone and noticed that he got a message, it was a DM on instagram, from Eliott himself. He swallowed before he opened the app to see the message.

srodulv You still owe me Did you get home safe? 

Lucas smirked like an idiot, seeing those messages and just enjoying the fact that this asshole at least a little bit cared for him. It was such a good feeling, his heart was beating faster, his palms were sweaty. He had to wipe them before typing a reply to Eliott.

lucallemant I’ll make it up to you, don’t worry I’m home now, laying on the couch

srodulv You should be in bed, not on the couch

lucallemant The couch is my bed

He wasn’t really thinking before sending that message. That was just so pathetic and lame. He ruined the mood totally and after long minutes without any sign from Eliott, he knew that it was a stupid idea telling the truth. 

srodulv You don’t have a bed?

lucallemant there’s only three room in the flat and we’re four I am the one who got the couch

srodulv Isn’t that a little unfair? 

lucallemant It sucks, but I barely can pay the rent, so it’s more than what I deserve

srodulv You deserve so much more

lucallemant Are you sure this is Eliott Demaury? I’m starting to think someone hacked your insta 

srodulv Very funny Go to sleep, Lallemant

lucallemant Sure, see you

srodulv See you 

Lucas put down his phone next to his pillow, but then picked it up again, reading their conversation over and over. He just couldn’t believe his eyes, but it was true. And maybe... just maybe he was right about that insta post. His heart started racing again, making it impossible for him to fall asleep, so instead he just went to Eliott’s profile, liking that last post. He closed his eyes, putting his phone down now. He haven’t feel so happy in a long time now.

Writers note: We’ll this got together fast, thanks to an idea of my best mec. I hope you guys liked it. I appreciate all the messages and asks I recieved! Feel free to do so after this chapter, I wanna hear your opinion about it. What do you like in it, what you don’t like? It would help me a lot! Bisou

[jack-andthestalk]

Stuck on you, Family ties, Chapter 23.

Thanks to @balfeheughlywed, she gives it to me straight, but still manages to be lovely at the same time.  

Also thank you to @ladyviolethummingbird for her encouraging words when I really thought I would just quit!

I have tried to better with punctuation and have made an effort to proof read a couple of times to pick up typos.  I do appreciate your comments and asks.

  The following morning we woke to a blanket of thick snow all over London. Jamie stood with his arm stretched resting over the sill of his window, describing the scene before him. "We could be snowed in for days Sassenach,"  he said winking wildly like a big red owl, I lay limp in the bed admiring his bare buttocks and listening drowsily to his account.  My legs felt disconnected from my body, and I wasn't entirely sure if they would support me if I attempted to go to the window to look for myself. 

He quickly scurried back into bed, burrowing himself behind my naked back, entangling his cold feet between my calves. We lay there for a while and, Jamie leisurely drew patterns into the back of my hand while planning our breakfast.

“you won’t be hungry if you keep chewing on my ear like that” I scolded sometime later. "It's nibbling Sassenach not chewing, and it’s meant to entice ye to do lewd things with me" his hand dipped lower between my bare thighs. "Jamie Fraser I barely have the use of my legs thanks to all the lewd things you did to me throughout the night!" I slapped his hand away indignantly. "You can't possibly expect me to use up any more of my depleted energy supply without feeding me first."

Jamie gave a resigned sigh “Fine…ye cruel woman”, he pushed himself up from the bed, and his phone began to pulse repeatedly on the bedside locker. Jamie glanced down at the screen before silencing it. “Aren’t you going to answer that?” I wrapped the sheet around my breasts shuffling up in the bed. Jamie rucked a hand through his hair and stretched. “Nah it's nothing important."

A sliding ache of anxiety rippled around in my tummy, the same feeling that I got during his phone call from home the night before.

I had tried to dismiss it; instead, I allowed Jamie to show me without words how he loved me,  our bodies moving slowly beneath the sheets of his bed. 

Now the heavyweight of distrust that had weighed down on my chest the night before had returned with abandon.

I heard the shower run, and I snuck a glance at Jamie's screen.

One missed call: Da

Jamie had answered last night because he had little choice, you didn't miss a call from your parents on Christmas day. There wasn't going to be a time when I wasn't going to be in earshot. The phone call was fairly typical of a family ringing their son to wish him a merry Christmas.

There was a chorus of Happy Christmas on the Fraser side which Jamie reciprocated.

I had thought it was Ellen's voice I could hear through the mouthpiece when she asked him how his day had been. Jamie's response accurate but lacking in context, "Oh aye…of course I cooked Turkey mam", a laugh on both sides as Ellen told him something about her day. Jamie fiddled with a coaster on the coffee table as he spoke head bent in concentration, I pretended to pay attention to the movie that had been turned down in volume so he could answer the call. Another chuckle and a throaty "aye we went to mass…there is a cathedral across the road".  The phone was passed along to his nephew where Jamie's voice changed to a more animated version. He questioning little Jamie about what Santa had brought, Jamie teasing him that he thought Santa would bring coals on account of what he had done to his grandda (a story I didn't know). This went on for a while, and though my head was spinning with the phone conversation in general, my heart warmed just hearing Jamie speak with his nephew. Jenny was next, and a much more colluding conversation took place, Jenny asked the same generic questions, but this time Jamie's response was softer, almost whispering. "Aye Janet it was one of the best," he said smiling through the mouthpiece, a shared secret between the two "aye she is" was uttered. Jamie's ears had gone a little pink at something Jenny said while sneaking a look over at me. I could see him smiling in my peripheral vision as I stared head-on at the tv. “worth every second” he said quietly.

The call ended after that, at first I tried to shield myself a little from Jamie's gaze or embrace. Not knowing how to feel or process the phone call from home, but as the night wore on Jamie's tentative determination to keep me close, to love me bested the barrier I had erected.

Now faced with Brian's call I couldn't pretend there wasn't something off about Jamie's interaction with his parents, nor could I pretend it wasn't related to me.

I jumped suddenly from the bed and scrambled in my bag for clothes. I didn’t want to be naked in front of Jamie right now; I needed a buffer of sorts.  The idea of being a secret from Jamie’s parents hurt, why did he keep it from them? I couldn’t think of any logical answer except that they didn’t approve of me.

Since Jamie and I had reunited, he had spoken of his parents often, in terms of when he was in counselling the support they gave him, particularly his Mother, but the more I thought about it, the more I realised he didn’t speak of more recent versions of them, as in what they felt about him moving to London. Jenny certainly knew why he came here but did his parents?

My mind was swirling with possibilities and excuses, I didn’t hear Jamie approach, until he wrapped his arms around my waist, kissing the space between my shoulder blades, humming contently into my hair. “Why are ye no naked Claire?” he asked swaying me slightly over and back, I pushed his arms gently down from my waist and turned to look at him. "You know I thought I probably should head home…for a while, anyway, …we have drinks at Gellis's later", I trailed off biting my bottom lip.

Jamie turned me around to face him “what’s happened?” his face etched in concern. “nothing I just can't stay in bed all day…as appealing as it sounds" I shrugged my shoulders and redirected my gaze to the floor, Jamie tilted my chin, so I had to look directly at him "tell me Claire?" his voice firm.

His face changed from concern to panic, and I couldn't bring myself to ask him the question that was bothering me most. “It’s nothing," I said softly attempting a smile. “I just….”,  Looking around the room at our discarded clothes, memories of the last two days came flooding back, Jamie had shown me he loved me in this apartment, we had two days of relearning, of honesty. Leaving me with no qualms about how he felt, maybe he was waiting until he went home to tell his parents? My mind didn’t buy that excuse, but my heart squeezed at the sight of his pleading eyes.

“I just thought that …well it was only meant to be a second date…I feel like we have been holed up here for a week.”

 "dinna go Claire”, he said softly, Jamie’s brows still furrowed I knew he didn’t quite believe my excuse.

“Ok” this time the smile reached my eyes. Jamie bent to kiss me so tenderly I actually thought my heart would burst. “good” he said a little breathlessly sometime later, before making me naked again, loving the worries away.

      Gellis had a tradition of hosting a party at her house on Boxing Day each year.

This year she had a new man to impress, so the text invites dictated ‘fancy formal'. I had no idea which dress code this meant but opted for a fitted teal dress with a scoop neck, my straightened hair piled on top of my head and a pair of very impractical sparkling stilettos, which I could only put on once inside her apartment as they didn't stand a chance in the snow. Jamie wore a white shirt/suit pants combo. He looked like a young James bond his hair styled back slightly with gel, and the top button of his shirt opened giving him an air of sophisticated casualness.

We arrived fashionably late, having decided on a shared shower to save time which had the reverse effect and delayed us considerably.

Gellis took our coats hissing "ye are almost an hour late Claire!", I gave her a sheepish shrug and brushed down my dress, she rolled her eyes and glared at Jamie "I am blaming ye fox," Jamie looked quite pleased with his culpability and shot Gellis a dazzling smile while handing her a couple of bottles of wine.

  Prosecco and a very expensive looking Italian beer had been stacked in an elaborate display on Gellis’s dining table. Grabbing one of each we made our way across the living room to where Rupert stood amongst a gang containing Mary Hawkins, I noticed Mary’s eyes widened slightly as we approached and she nudged the girl beside her, oh Christ Sarah.

This time my stomach didn't clench or my palms sweat; instead, I just slid up beside Rupert and said: "hey there roomie". Rupert on sight of me and clearly in full festive drinking mode growled loudly and lifted me bodily into his arms, "I feel like I havna seen ye for weeks!" he exclaimed loudly, rubbing the top of my head as if I was a well-behaved child. "I missed ye Clairebear," my responding smile and squeeze of his shoulders told him I missed him too, "for god sake man" Jamie hissed "she was not gone that long! ". He was looking around himself self-consciously, mindful that Rupert was making it blindly apparent I hadn't been home.

"Actually James" Rupert said slurring over the vowels and pointing his index finger into Jamie’s face “ye will find it has been two days and one night and she lives with me…so I should ken”  he gave a little flourish with his hand and swayed back on his heels slightly. Rupert looked at Jamie now through one eye, his brow furrowed, "Christ man …are ye alright? Ye look like a stag at the end of rutting season", Jamie narrowed his eyes warningly, I, however, had no idea what Rupert meant. "What?" I said scrunching my nose slightly.

 “Jesus, you’re clueless,” he breathed, rolling his eyes at me.  “tis only a stag always looks near death after servicing the doe's, he dinna have time to eat or sleep from it…that's what Jamie looks like", there was a few snorts from beside me and I could see Jamie was about to strangle Rupert. Trying to distract him, I tilted my almost empty glass towards Jamie and said: "would kill for another, please?”

With Jamie gone it gave me a chance to speak with Rupert, I gave his sleeve a little tug and said "meet me on the veranda. I want to ask you something". Rupert's eyes were glassy, and he didn't look overly interested in what I had to say, but he followed me obediently. Howling as soon as the freezing air hit his lungs, "ach Claire make it quick" he jumped impatiently from foot to foot.

I couldn’t help but remember that  I had stood on a similar veranda months before, rage boiling in my belly at Jamie’s attempt to establish if I found it difficult being around him. I had responded with a sharp rebuttal telling him I was no longer in love with him. Jamie had spoken of the conversation the night previous, how he wasn't able to go to the gym with Rupert after it, choosing to go home his chest caving in at the idea he had indeed lost me.

There were many things Jamie had recalled for me from his perspective, so I knew how he was feeling since coming to London or during our time apart, he always led with honesty even when it wasn’t the most attractive option.

That's why I couldn't fathom whatever was happening with his parents why he felt he couldn't talk to me about it, unless of course that it would hurt me.

Rupert was watching me expectantly, clearing my throat, "Rupert I need to ask something of you?” He narrowed his eyes and burrowed his bottom lip into his chin “is this to do with Jamie, cause I tell ye,  I have had a lot to drink, and I dinna think it would be a good idea to ask me for discretion just now."

I rolled my eyes and sighed "Rupert, please …I need to know something."

Rupert leaned back up against the wall and folded his arms, "alright go on."

“Tell me what you knew about Jamie when we were apart?”

Rupert shook his head at me warningly “Claire I am nay gonna betray the man…he wasna at his best ya ken?”

“look," I said putting my hand on his arm, "he told me the most of it…I know he got help…I know he was in bad shape…I need to know…I need to have an idea of what his parents saw?”

Rupert looked at me brows creased in confusion, and let out a weary sigh "I ken ye wouldna ever hurt him with this information?"  posed as a question, I found myself thinking he had sobered considerably at the mention of Jamie's past.

"I promise."

Rupert let out a big breath and ran a hand over his beard.

“I went to see him a few times…when he went back to Lallybroch to regroup or get better, whatever ya call it.” He finished awkwardly.

  I shifted nervously, half dreading Rupert’s account.

  "He was there but he wasn't there, he was like a fucking ghost."  Rupert moved forward and leaned against the rails looking out at the street below covered in snow.

  “Ellen and Brian were worried sick…they watched him constantly, afraid to let him out of their sight."

  I nodded and leaned my back up against the railing so I could see Rupert’s face.

  “I can only imagine," I said quietly.

  Rupert cleared his throat and gulped the bottle of beer he was holding. “Aye…it was horrible to see him like that, his eyes were dead…he grieved for Willie of course, but he missed you something chronic…he was a drift sort of…nothing to anchor him." Rupert paused for a minute his beard musingly, “ya know in a way I have a huge amount of respect for him…he never hid it, ya ken some men would be ashamed to say they were heartbroken or they missed their woman…but Jamie didn’t, he told me straight out.”

  "I keep thinking what I would do differently had I known how bad he was…" there was a hard lump forming in my throat, and I didn't want to Rupert to be put off by my tears, he seemed lost in his own thoughts staring out at the sky contemplatively.

  “when he phoned me”, Rupert began again, “to say he was coming here to London…I dinna ken how to tell ye…I nearly shit myself when he asked me could I find out where ye lived…” he gave me a wry grin.

  I squeezed his hand supportively "Knowing now what Jamie went through; I can see why you were so worried about telling him we were roommates."

  Rupert nodded and exhaled "YE have no idea." He took another long gulp of his beer.

  " the thing is since he found ye here, whatever is happening between ye…it’s so good to see him like himself again…”

  I must have looked concerned because Rupert continued, "dinna get me wrong he was doing better before coming here…but when I see him around you, he is fucking beaming…the wee fool."

  We stood in companionable silence for a while, Rupert playing with the label on his bottle of beer.

“It took its toll on his Ma and Da ya ken?” he said eventually

“I’m sure” I turned my head slightly so Rupert couldn’t see my expression.

"Losing Willie and then the worry of Jamie."

“Did they ever mention me?" I blurted suddenly.

Rupert shook his head and leaned back while holding onto the railings, “ dinna ken how to say this to ye without it wounding ye Claire."

"I need to know Rupert." My voice quivered, but I held his gaze, giving Rupert time to resolve whatever was going on in his head.  

Eventually, he turned to me and said "Jamie nearly dinna come back the last time…Ellen watched him like that for a year, petrified that she would lose another son.” I nodded silently. “Death changes people Claire” his voice was grave, he shook his head and continued. “indiscretions” he started and I raised my eyebrows “ok then unfaithfulness”, he clarified, “Well these things don’t seem as significant when you are dealing with life and death."

 He pressed his lips into a thin line, "Ellen, saw her son not really wanting to live, grieving over a woman that wouldna tell him where she was, that had left without a word, a woman the family loved as well.”

I knew where he was going but I wasn't sure I wanted to hear, he closed his eyes briefly and said: "Ellen knew I was living with you, I told her eventually."

“and?” I asked, my mouth suddenly dry.

Rupert bit the side of his mouth “she told me never to tell Jamie, she hoped he never found ye again.”

"I see," I said folding my arms around my middle defensively, Rupert's eyes were sorrowful, and my eyes were burning in humiliation. "I did say that ye were hurting too, but Jamie is her son…she really dinna see anything beyond him, and he was hankering for a woman who had left him."

[sociallyawkward--fics]

55 and 20 for ultimate angst combo, feat Virgil and your pick

I decided to go with Logan cuz we all know I love my left brain bois

I wrote half of this when I was very tired and the other half with this newly developed fever, so I’m sorry if it doesn’t make sense lol. I think there may accidentally be some tense switches in there that I may not have caught but oh well too late now I’m very tired

Warnings: miscommunication, arguemnts, panic attacks, general anxiety, let me know if I missed something/you’d like me to add something

Word Count: 2067 (remember when these prompts were supposed to be drabbles lol)

[ao3 link]

Logan couldn’t quite pinpoint when he’d started. At first, it had just been offhand observations that he’d dismissed, Anxiety was, after all, their enemy.

But then he wasn’t. And Logan stopped dismissing his observations. In fact, he began writing them down, practically studying Virgil.

Virgil was not only the personification of Thomas’s anxiety, but he also seemed to experience it himself. He slept and ate poorly, and it was difficult to convince him to join in on group activities. His hands were frequently shaking, and he grew irritable if he didn’t get enough time to himself to recharge.

So Logan observed. He took note of specific stressors to Virgil, and tried to come up with possible solutions on how to minimize them. Things like lessening his caffeine intake, improving his diet, and perhaps having a calming tea before bed.

And the more Logan observed, the more trivial his observations were.

Like how husky his voice was after just waking up. Or the beautifully musical sound of the small chuckles he hid behind his hand whenever Patton made a pun. Or the (objectively adorable) teasing smirk on his face when he playfully provoked Roman.

Eventually, he Logan starts to realize he has a problem when each of these observations sparks a strange feeling in his chest and stomach. A feeling that he unfortunately knows the diagnosis to, despite how clueless the others believe him to be when it comes to emotions.

He never meant to start falling for Virgil.

And he never meant for it all to fall apart.

Logan had been writing plans in his notebook as usual, trying to come up with ways for Virgil to better manage his anxiety, when Patton frantically called him into the kitchen. Logan had left his notebook open on the coffee table while he went to assist (Patton had, once again, gotten multiple spoons stuck in the drain).

After fixing the issue, Patton rushed upstairs, saying something about being late for a date in the Imagination with Roman. Logan returned to the living room only to find Virgil flipping through the notebook, expression growing increasingly angrier.

“Virgil–” Logan started.

“The fuck is this,” Virgil asked, cutting him off and barely looking up from the book to glare at Logan.

“Virgil, please, let me explain, I–” Logan started again, but was cut off once more.

“Are you observing me?” Virgil’s voice rose in volume. “Am I just another experiment to you?”

“Virgil, no, you don’t understand–” Logan tried to explain

“I don’t understand?” Virgil scoffed, looking back down at the notebook.

Logan resisted the urge to growl in frustration. That would get them nowhere. If only Virgil would stop cutting him off–

“I think I understand perfectly,” Virgil said and began reading from the notebook, “‘The subject’s diet and sleeping patterns must be monitored further before an accurate routine can be created.’ What the hell, Logan?”

“I was only trying to help!”

Virgil’s scowl deepened. “Maybe I don’t need your help, ever think of that?” He shoved the notebook into Logan’s chest. “Don’t try to fix me. I’m not broken. And I’m not some experiment you can just toy with as you please.”

Logan let the notebook fall to the ground as Virgil stormed off to his room.

He’d really messed up this time.

Virgil stays in his room for days. No one even caught him coming out for food or water, which especially concerned them.

Patton had taken to sitting in front of his door for some amount of time during the day. Sometimes it was thirty minutes. Sometimes it was three hours. He rambled aimlessly at the door, tried to convince Virgil to come out, or at least eat. No one even knew if Virgil was actually listening.

Logan couldn’t sleep. He would barely eat, which only served to fuel Patton’s worry further.

It was his fault Virgil was locked in there, ignoring them all. He had betrayed Virgil’s trust (even if he still wasn’t 100% sure what had happened), and he had to fix it.

So Logan used his newly terrible sleeping schedule to his advantage. He burrowed under a blanket on the couch – making sure to adjust it’s positioning so that it’s placement looked natural and haphazardly thrown on the cushions – and waited.

After all those days, there was no way Virgil wasn’t hungry. Even if he had been sneaking food somehow, he’d need more. And Logan would keep doing this until he caught him.

As things were, it did take a few days before Logan caught Virgil.

He had almost fallen asleep, when a presence going by woke him up and put him on edge. Logan carefully listened to the footsteps of the presence and the resulting sounds in the kitchen.

Everything sounded too quiet, too sneaky. There was no way that wasn’t Virgil (he should know, he’d caught both Patton and Roman rustling around in the kitchen late at night enough times to know what they sounded like).

Logan listened while Virgil quietly ate some of the leftovers Patton had left in the fridge. Listened while he stuffed what was probably his coat pockets with what was probably granola bars (if the crinkling wrappers were anything to go by). Listened as he quietly made his way back through the common room to the stairs.

Then, Logan moved. Virgil wasn’t the only one who could be sneaky.

He climbed up the stairs quickly (as quickly as he could, being as exhausted as he was, which wasn’t very quickly), remembering exactly which steps not to step on because they would squeak.

Virgil was almost at the end of the hall by the time Logan made it up the stairs, so he dashed down the hallway, slipping into Virgil’s room just before Virgil finished shutting the door.

Virgil startled so badly that he stumbled backwards and the food fell from his pockets (Logan was right, granola bars).

“We need to talk,” Logan said, hands already shaking. Apparently the affects of Virgil’s room came on faster when you were tired and vulnerable.

“I don’t think I have much to say to you right now,” Virgil said, steadying himself and eyeing Logan’s hands carefully. “I think it would be better if you left.”

“No,” Logan said. “Not until you listen to me.”

“Logan, seriously–”

“No, last time you did all the talking, now it’s my turn.” Logan could feel the panic building, but he did his best to swallow it down. He had to do this. “I never meant to hurt you, Virgil.”

“Yeah, well, you did,” Virgil said, crossing his arms and looking away.

Logan ran his trembling fingers through his hair and tried to take a deep breath. It stuttered and he lost it, but he kept speaking.

“I simply wanted to help you, Virgil. I’ve noticed for a long time that you show many symptoms of anxiety yourself, and deduced that you are not just the presence of anxiety, but also the experience of it–”

“So I get nervous,” Virgil butt in, still refusing to look at Logan. “So what?”

“Stop interrupting!” All of Logan’s breath whooshed out of his lungs, and he gasped a few times trying to fill them again. “I wanted to help you, you idiot! I wanted to help you be less nervous so that you could be happy! I wanted to help you because I care and I fucked up, but please, Virgil, please stop hurting yourself because I was an idiot. You’re not broken and I don’t want to fix you, I just wanted to help.”

“Logan,” Virgil breathed out, finally looking at him. His eyes were glassy, his face vulnerable.

But Logan could hardly pay attention to that now. He was practically hyperventilating at this point, buzzing with anxiety and worry. He was worried about Virgil, worried for Virgil’s health, worried for Patton if he couldn’t get Virgil to come out again, worried for the relationship he shared with Virgil and if he’d doomed it from the start–

Logan’s eyes snapped open (when had he closed them??) when a cool hand pressed against his face, wiping away tears that Logan hadn’t even realized were there.

“Logan, it’s okay,” Virgil said gently. “We gotta get you out of here.”

Logan didn’t respond, he simply allowed Virgil to pull him closer and sink them both out, popping back up in the common room.

“I’m sorry,” Logan stuttered out over and over, still in the midst of his panic. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry–”

Virgil guided Logan to sit on the couch, wrapping the blanket that Logan had been hiding under earlier in the night around his shoulders.

“It’s okay, Logan,” Virgil said, trying to gently pry Logan’s hands away from his hair. “I’m not mad anymore. I’m not mad at you.”

“I messed up, I’m sorry–”

“It’s all okay now,” Virgil spoke soothingly. “I need you to breathe with me, can you do that?”

Logan nodded shakily, squeezing Virgil’s hands tightly as opposed to clutching at his hair.

“Four, seven, eight, remember that?”

Logan nodded again.

“Okay, do it with me now.”

The two breathed in unison for a few minutes. They breathed until Logan’s breaths no longer stuttered and neither of their hands shook. They breathed until Logan’s tears dried and Virgil’s heart slowed. They breathed until Logan finally allowed their hands to drop away from each other, embarrassed by the contact.

“I’m sorry,” Logan started to say again, looking down in shame, but Virgil held up a hand to stop the apology from going further.

“It’s okay. I’m not mad, Logan.”

Logan looked up at him again. “I find that hard to believe.”

Virgil shook his head. “I was mad for a little bit. And scared. I thought I was just another experiment to you–”

“You’re not,” Logan blurted, grabbing Virgil’s hand again.

“I know that now,” Virgil gave a small, almost imperceptible smile, “so stop apologizing.” He frowned again. “Just smile,” Virgil said, clutching Logan’s hand back. “I really need to see you smile right now.”

Logan scoffed. “You say that as if I smile normally in my day to day life.”

Virgil smirked. “Maybe you should.”

“I am a very serious man.”

“A very serious man with a very nice smile.”

“Falsehood.”

Virgil’s smirk grew into a rare grin. “Careful, Logan. You know what Patton likes to do to liars.” He took one of his hands back to squeeze Logan’s side, smiling wider when Logan tried to wiggle away.

“Stop it,” Logan said, but there was no heat behind the words and he was smiling wide.

Virgil clasped their hands together again. “See? It’s like the sun, I can’t even look at it straight on it’s so bright. Good thing we’re both gay as fuck, huh?”

Logan broke down in giggles slouching forward to lean his forehead again Virgil’s shoulder. “I think the sleep deprivation is catching up with me,” he said in-between bouts of quiet laughter.

Virgil ran a hand through Logan’s hair. “More fun for me, then,” he joked, but started to recline them against the couch anyway, adjusting Logan to lay on top of him. “Means I get to see that smile. I won.”

“Stop talking about my smile, already,” Logan whined, then mumbled into Virgil’s chest, “Just wait until I’m coherent, then I won’t be the one who’s blushing.”

Virgil sighed, fixing the blanket around Logan’s shoulder’s to cover them both entirely. “If only the room wasn’t so dim, I would’ve liked to see that.”

Logan only hummed in response, beginning to drift off.

“Hey, Lo?” Virgil murmured after a few minutes, almost asleep.

“Hmm?”

“We’re not gonna just… go back to normal in the morning and pretend this never happened, right?”

Logan, barely awake, snuggled deeper into Virgil’s chest. “Fuck that. I gotta prove that I’m the better flirt.”

Virgil giggled sleepily. “I don’t think either of us were very good flirts tonight.”

“I’ll show you,” Logan muttered, words starting to slur.

Virgil smiled down at the unruly mass of brown hair resting on his chest. “You do that,” he whispered, finally letting sleep drag him under.

And if Patton woke up to make breakfast and found those two curled together on the couch and snapped dozens of pictures? No one needed to know.

And if one of those pictures ended up as Logan’s lockscreen? No one needed to know that, either.

[giranswife]

Safe and Comfortable

Summary: After a night at her apartment, things seem to be in a perfect place. Her heart is full, and even through her doubts, she’s able to find the good in her feelings. And how truly amazing it is to feel safe.

Warning(s): fluff, suggestive, self-insert x canon

(( This was a combo of two different ideas that just made more sense together. Just a little fluff fic that I couldn’t resist writing. It’s also fluffy and I really need that right now. This is also following a fic that I still haven’t finished yet, but you don’t really have to read it to understand this. Not to mention it probably won’t be going on this blog. This includes a canon character with my self-insert oc. ))

I woke up tangled in soft sheets, legs curled into my chest with the sunlight in my eyes. A part of me wanted to continue lying here, or roll over onto my side and hide from the sun. There weren’t any responsibilities I had that day, and it wouldn’t hurt to shut out the world for a while. I had forgotten completely about the night before, my mind already starting to fade back to slumber. But the more that I tried, the more that the sunlight began to bother me.

Groaning softly, I tossed a bit in the sheets, turning away from the sunlight. My eyelids fluttered, feeling heavy as I tugged the blankets closer against my bare skin. There was a lingering smell on the bed, one that made my lips involuntarily curl into a smile. It brought so much warmth to my chest, and I began to daydream about that scent.

There was one person that came to mind, and in my tired state, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Not that it’s any different than any other day. Just right now, I was in a dreamlike state, unable to control the thoughts that flooded in. Just lots of soft kisses and gentle touches. The kind of thing that secretly makes me weak.

Even a bad girl can want love.

And that’s just what I was feeling. Love. I found myself reaching out for a touch that wasn’t there, hoping that I’d feel a kiss on my forehead or an arm around my waist. It didn’t feel right, but I was so deep in my dream that I hadn’t realized it yet.

Until I opened my eyes again and realized that I was alone in the bed. My high was slowly coming down, and I looked around the room to remind myself that I wasn’t in the bed I hoped I was. It was my own, in my dingy apartment that I was a little disappointed to be in. In that moment, I was half asleep and disturbed that I almost thought the entirety of it was a dream.

But I laid there for a minute with my heart fluttering in my chest, finally coming out of my slumber state. I remembered the night before. I remembered bringing him to my apartment and almost panicking. Embarrassed about the fact that he finally saw how I used to live. Hoping that this wouldn’t make him think less of me, even though I knew that he didn’t care about that.

It just stung, looking at the empty side of the bed. I never realized just how much I longed for him to be there, until he wasn’t. Come to think of it… I can’t remember how long it’s been since I woke up and he was still there. There’s been so many times that I’ve been sleeping in too long, or he had something to do long before I woke up. I didn’t realize how much that sucked to me, until I was in this moment right now.

He must’ve left already like usual. Not that I can fault him for that. I knew what I was getting into from the start. I shouldn’t expect more than I can get. It would just lead to disappointment.

Slowly sitting up on the bed, I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and sighed deeply. There was no use getting upset over it. It just made me realize how much I actually did miss him. In a way that I didn’t realize. I used to act as if I didn’t need all this affection and attention, and maybe a part of me wanted to believe that. But I really do enjoy it more than I thought.

There’s a lot that I’m finding out about myself now, and I’m starting to realize why I was ignorant before. It’s hard to be upset when you know that it’s partially your fault. I had to be honest with myself to figure that out, but at the same time, damn I wish that he was here.

I was just about to get up and grab my phone, whenever I heard keys jingling. My eyebrows lifted, tail and ears standing at attention while my eyes were glued to the door. There was a moment where I wondered if he had forgotten something and came back for it, but then I heard his voice.

“You up yet-”

Tilting my head, Giran and I made eye contact and he seemed a little surprised to see me sitting up in bed. My entire body started to relax once I saw him, and I was a little embarrassed when my tail started flicking in the air happily. It’s my one weakness when it comes to him is how easily my body shows how I am feeling in regards to him. I want it to quiet down, and sometimes I get embarrassed about it.

But I was genuinely happy to see him.

“Forget something?” I asked, shifting around on the bed and pulling the sheets closer to me.

That was, at least, what I expected the answer to be.

“A thank you would be nice,” He said with a smirk, “After all, I just got you breakfast. Coulda made you eat whatever’s in the fridge.”

A scoff of surprise left my pursed lips, and I sat there for a second letting my brain wander. I felt like immediate shit for assuming that he left. For making such a scene with myself over something that wasn’t even happening, but I couldn’t blame myself. Not after the anxiety I felt yesterday of having him come over.

Biting my bottom lip, I watched him lean against the doorframe and trail his eyes down my figure. “I thought… you left,” I said. He shook his head, taking the package of cigarettes from his pocket and tossing it onto the pile of my clothes that littered the floor.

“Just figured you’d be hungry, and I couldn’t sleep.”

“Something wrong?” I asked.

He shook his head again.

“You eatin’ in the kitchen like a civilized person or…”

The smirk returned to his face, and I rolled my eyes in faked annoyance. He knew what my answer was going to be. There wasn’t a meal that I didn’t eat on my bed, or rather his bed. The one thing he genuinely gets irritated with me about. Getting crumbs in his bed. But I can’t help that it’s so comfortable I barely ever want to leave it.

“My bed’s fine, thank you.”

“Figured. And you probably want me to bring it to you.”

“Thank you, baby. You’re so sweet.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

I giggled softly, the smile growing on my face.

There was a warmth to my cheeks that returned as well, but I was too happy to care. It’s not like he hasn’t seen my blush a hundred times by now. Since he likes it, I tend to feel more comfortable blushing around him. Even if he teases me, it doesn’t really seem to bother me anymore.

This was a lot better than I originally thought. It meant a lot to me, and also made me realize just how much he cares. To think that I really didn’t think he had it in him before. You really don’t know someone just from the outside.

“I’m not feeding it to you,” He said, tossing the bag onto the bed, “So don’t even try.”

Pushing the bag to the side, I crawled towards the edge of the bed and pushed up onto my knees. My arms wrapped around his neck, and I pressed my lips against his. Partially as a thank you, and also because his sweetness was a huge turn on. It was really easy for me to forget about the food and just get lost with his mouth on mine.

Which I almost did.

Sighing softly and parting his lips with my tongue, I couldn’t help but smirk into the kiss. I was always fully aware of what I was doing. But it always worked.

With his hands on my hips, I knew that I wasn’t going anywhere. Not that I would want to. It was just extremely hard to leave that moment, even though my stomach started to growl a bit. I had forgotten about my worries from earlier, and it was all just replaced with this happy feeling.

“Fuck, I love you,” I said.

“Love you too, Princess.”

I giggled, tugging my bottom lip between my teeth.

“Say it again.”

I smirked, trying to resist the urge to laugh. It was just really nice to hear, and honestly, I could hear it all the time.

He touched my chin, kissing my lips one last time.

“I love you too. Now, eat your damn breakfast before it gets cold.”

But if I was being honest, I didn’t want to eat it. I just wanted to keep kissing him. Even though I was hungry, it was just extremely hard to pull away.

Sitting with my legs underneath me, I enjoyed the still warm breakfast and occasionally sharing with Giran. I was a little surprised that he didn’t get anything, and I was also surprised when he was pretty silent. Didn’t even make a fuss about me getting crumbs in my own bed. Which, wasn’t saying much, since it was mine.

“Sure you don’t want any?” I asked.

He shook his head, “I’ll have anything you don’t finish.”

“Alright, you know I don’t like sharing.”

I laughed, leaning my head on his shoulder for a few seconds.

It was true, I didn’t like sharing my food. There were only a few exceptions. If I was feeling generous or depending on who the person was. Right now I just felt bad hogging it all for myself, but then again I wasn’t going to argue either.

After I finished, I pushed everything aside and leaned against him. It was extremely cheesy, but I loved it. I loved this. It felt… so comfortable. I’d never felt this comfortable in a long time, and I never thought that I could feel this comfortable. It was a feeling that I didn’t think I deserved. The person that I was… the person that I am… isn’t someone that even thinks about comfortability.

The only thing that I think about is surviving. But right now, all I could think about was how safe I felt. Domesticity was never really my thing. It just reminded me of the past, and it made me realize how I’d never have that. Well… how I thought I’d never have that.

“So… you leaving soon?” I asked, definitely not trying to pick apart plans without having to ask up front.

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Really? I would’ve thought you’d have something to do.”

I laid back down on the bed, pulling the sheets back over me as I felt a chill. There wasn’t much of my food left, so there wasn’t much for him to have. Which is exactly what I expected. It also started to dawn on me that things were a little different. From the breakfast to the quiet, it just all felt a little off. Good for the most part, just slightly off.

“I told you I didn’t. The answers not gonna change.”

“Alright, alright. I just wanted to ask about your day plans. Don’t bite my head off.”

Resting my head on my hand, I grumbled underneath my breath. I got this tone of voice. It wasn’t hard to read the room. Now I know exactly how I feel when my mood gets sour. Don’t know how much of this is karma or not. Either way, now I felt a little bad.

I pursed my lips, reaching forward and slipping my fingers through his. Not something I do extremely often, but it felt like the right thing to do. It was another thing that I wasn’t used to. Showing affection just for the sake of comfort. Granted, I like it a lot, more than I thought I did. I just was still trying to get a feel for how he felt about it.

“You seem distracted…” I mumbled.

“Yeah.”

“It’s not uhm… me right?”

“‘Course not. The complete opposite.”

I noticed that my hand was still inside his. That made me smile a little. I still get kind of unsure about the understanding, comforting wife thing and where I fit into that role. It’s one of the one things that I want to do. Be more understanding, comforting. Less.... hostile.

I opened my mouth to speak, unsure of what I was going to say next. Not used to being very speechless either.

“...Wanna talk about it?”

It actually made me smile when he chuckled, and I suppressed the urge to laugh myself. I’ll admit, not my best attempt, but it was something.

“No, baby girl, it’s nothin’ for you to worry about.”

“Oh, okay. If you say so. I won’t push it.”

My cheeks flared up when he brushed my hair from my face and lifted my chin. Closing my eyes, I felt him kiss my forehead briefly. Smiling rather warmly, I laid back down on the bed and slid my fingers away from his to readjust myself. Lying on my side, I curled up with the sheets between my fingers and sighed.

“Is it business related?” I asked, unable to really hide my curiosity.

He knows me all too well though. It’s not like he couldn’t expect me to be at least a little curious. Not wanting to push the subject, I played the slow and steady card. The last thing that I wanted was to push any buttons because I can be a bit impulsive.

He nodded, but that was all I was going to get out of him.

There was a soft silence after that, and I decided it was probably best to change the subject. That way things weren’t entirely changed, and the mood can at least be lifted a little bit. We work a lot better when the two of us are in the mood to talk. Which highly depends on the moment.

“So… does this mean that you’re mine all day?” I asked, biting my lip.

Giran looked down at me with a humorous glance. It was a genuine question.

“Not all day-”

“Hey, you just said-”

“Because we need wine. But yeah, I’m pretty much yours.”

Rolling my eyes, I grabbed his arm and pulled him down towards me. Once again I was kissing him, and this time I wasn’t going to let it go by as fast. I moaned softly, happily. “You’re such an ass, you know that,” I said through small gasps, feeling his hand trailing down my lower back. When his fingers touched my skin, lifting my leg to wrap around his waist, I was almost dizzy.

My breathing was shallow, and I felt his lips trail down my neck. It was right now, in this moment that I realized I was right. About everything. This was a really good place, even with a few bumps in the road every now and then. Because I was in love, and I wasn’t worried about the placement of where we lie. I just felt comfortable.

And I fucking loved feeling comfortable.

[imustspeakmyheart]

The Night Once Ruled My Imagination is so lovely and such a cute premise! If you're looking for prompts I think it might be interesting to see a story from one member of the Bouquet's perspective, looking at the others and thinking about how they interact: example: Damien loving how Arum and Rilla bring out each other's scientific enthusiasm or Rilla appreciating how Arum brings out a different side of Damien, or any combo- maybe even some quickly resolved jealousy haha

Thank you for these requests and sorry they took a while!! Fic is under the cut and posted on AO3 here.

The soft sounds of rain pattering against the window and the scratching of a quill against parchment were the only sounds in the little bubble that was Rilla’s hut, secluded as it was from the hustle and bustle of the Second Citadel. Damien liked the ambient quiet. Especially when writing a new poem -he’d been particularly fond of ballads as of late- he liked to be away from too much external stimulus; it was distracting, jumbling words in his head, or making him mess up the metre of a phrase.

Rilla’s hut was perfect, often filled with the sounds of her humming, moving about and arranging her various pots of ingredients, all of which came together like a unique melody. He was hearing some of those noises now, the clinking of vials and pans along with the muted muttering of his two most beloved people in the world. Damien smiled, penned another few words and allowed himself to get lost in the calm of composing.

That was, until he heard something smash against a counter, which startled him enough to track an ugly stripe through his work as his body twitched.  The voices from Rilla’s kitchen raised their volume in argument.

“Saints above.” Damien muttered, looking at his parchment in slight annoyance. There were small blots of ink that had splattered over the page too, but nothing that made it illegible. He raised his head then, looking at the doorway that lead to the kitchen.

The very kitchen that Damien, with a unanimous vote from both is loves, had been banned from when they decided they would try to bake something together, because they both knew Damien was a disaster at anything that involved cooking.

He made a valiant effort to get back to his poem, knowing that Rilla and Arum deserved their space together, even if it involved a possible argument, but eventually the pent up curiosity got the better of him. When the sound of Arum’s rattling carried from the kitchen, loud enough to be heard by Damien, he carefully put his quill down and got up. It wouldn’t hurt to take a little peak to check whether everything was okay. After all, what sort of knight would he be if he simply ignored such clear signs of distress.

Attempting stealth, he padded through the small living room and into the hallway that led to the kitchen area. As he got closer, Rilla and Arum’s voices got louder and they appeared to not be arguing anymore. Arum’s rattle still sounded, but it didn’t have the particular inflection that pointed to him being annoyed. Rather, Damien thought, it sounded closer to the warmth of his affectionate purring.

When he reached the open doorway of the kitchen he was careful to stay on his side of the threshold. Rilla and Arum stood close together, huddled in the small space in front of the counter. Two of Arum’s hands were occupied with holding ingredients, while his other two were knuckle-deep in a ball of dough. He was looking at Rilla, his head cocked and eyes squinting in that headstrong way Damien knew so well. Rilla for her part had her arms crossed with her hip leaning against the counter staring Arum down, one brow raised in defiance.

“I still think you should be measuring ingredients, baking is a delicate process. It’s science!” Rilla said, her lips pursed. Damien watched as Arum wordlessly put one of the jars down, opened the other one and stuck his finger into it. When he lifted his finger out, fluid was sticking to his claw, lazily dripping its way down the length of it. He dripped some of it onto the dough, never once breaking eye contact with Rilla, who visibly balked at the display. The rattling was back, low and amused. Arum’s lower arms started to knead the fluid into the dough.

“I know how much I need of each ingredient, Amaryllis dear. Call it instinct, experience, the will of the universe, maybe even magic, but it has never led me or my kind astray.”

Damien had to stifle a chuckle, not wanting to butt into the clearly playful argument and content to simply observe.

“But-”

“Why don’t you also make something then, with your science, and we will have our Honeysuckle decide which is better when we’re done? Is that an amendable solution?” Arum was smiling now, his eyes blinking slowly out of their squint. He’d set the pot down and reached his hand out to gently brush a stray hair behind Rilla’s ear. Rilla looked at the dough on the counter doubtfully, then back up to Arum.

“Game on, then.” She said, a confident twist to her lips as she pushed onto her tiptoes clearly asking for a kiss. Arum bent down, allowing Rilla to press her lips softly to his scaly mouth. The rhythm of the rain mingled together with the pleased sound of Arum’s rattles and it was perhaps the most lovely harmony of sounds Damien had ever heard, perhaps only to be made better by Rilla’s singing.

Arum straightened up and stilled the arms working on the dough. “I had a head start, why don’t I allow you to catch up?”

“Oh, how gracious of you my humble Lord Arum.” Rilla rolled her eyes, but she was still smiling.

Then Rilla set to work, setting up her ingredients, occasionally asking Arum to grab something for her from a high shelf, or asking him to hold something since his “four arms were clearly an advantage, you know.” They fell into an easy rhythm together, even in the small space that Rilla’s kitchen allowed them. Damien leaned his shoulder against the wall and watched them work.

It was remarkable really, seeing the two of them together. All the clutter in Damien’s thoughts vanished as he focused on them, delighting in the little ways they interacted that pointed to their easy intimacy. More remarkable still was just how far he’d come in this relationship and how it made him feel. Months ago his hackles might have raised at his loves doing something that didn’t involve him in the slightest, familiar anxiety nestling in his chest and making him worry that they did not want him there because they despised him.

Now all it did was make him proud.

Rilla was listing everything she was doing, methodically laying out her ingredients, measuring them and adding them all together in order of how it should be done. She was telling Arum her process, partly to show him how she thought the process should be, but also because finally she had someone who understood her when she talked so theoretically. It did not make Damien feel jealous anymore, knowing that he couldn’t understand things like this, while Arum could.

Meanwhile, Arum was doing little things to try and distract Rilla, tapping against her waist with his tail to startle her just a smidge, or seeing Rilla look away and sliding one of her ingredients over to his side of the counter. Every time, Rilla would swat at him playfully and tell him off, the amusement clear in her voice. The smile on Damien’s face was almost painful, but it was that or laugh out loud and give himself away. He wanted to keep looking at them in secret for just a little while longer.

Eventually, Rilla began humming a song as she worked and Damien had a hard time controlling the singular emotion that was overflowing inside his chest. He loved them so much, it was simply too much for his body to contain sometimes. His hands were itching for a pen and he had words in his mind that spoke of companionship, hummed melodies and small kitchens during a rainstorm. Moving back to his quill and parchment would mean leaving the scene in front of him, however, which he was less thrilled about, so he stayed put.

Physically clutching at his chest with one hand and pressing his lips firmly together, Damien continued to watch them. He tried as well as he could to formulate his emotions into verse in his mind so he was less tempted to burst into the room and take both of his loves into this arms. Phrases danced their way through his thoughts while Rilla absentmindedly bumped her shoulder into Arum, not hard, just a small touch that showed the gravity that pulled them together as naturally as celestial bodies.

It occurred to him that he rarely saw this, just the two of them together. Of course, Damien was familiar with how they acted around each other by now, when they were all together. He knew how he was with each of them separately, too, how they felt different and made him a better person in their own unique ways. He supposed he never really considered that Rilla and Arum would also have that, a relationship that was all them, beautiful and precious and theirs.

Rilla and Arum were still speaking to each other, but the conversation went over Damien’s head partly because he was too busy calming his over-eager heart with haphazardly constructed metaphors that twisted together into something resembling a poem. The other part of it was that the pair had devolved into a heated discussion over how to best get a pie or some such evenly heated and their talk about different possible methods of oven construction and heating patterns of coal and wood were simply too much for Damien to grasp.  

It was then that Arum twisted his head too far Damien’s way in an exaggerated motion of rolling his eyes and saw the knight leaning in the doorway. He cocked his head and just blinked at him for a second, before his face split into a smile.

“Seems like we have an audience, Amaryllis. A knight has snuck into our midst.”

Rilla, who’d been busy enough with mixing something to not have noticed Arum turning his head, now looked up and twisted around to look at Damien. It was quite the comical sight actually, Arum’s claws caked with dough and Rilla’s face dusted slightly with some kind of flour where it had blown up from the mixing bowl.

“A knight I distinctly remember we banned from the kitchen.” Rilla said, not sounding annoyed in the slightest as she put the mixing bowl down and took a step toward Damien. He raised his hands up in surrender and smiled sheepishly.

“I haven’t once set foot in your kitchen sanctuary, I wouldn’t dare.” Then Rilla was rubbing her nose against Damien’s, undoubtedly getting some flour on his face. He laughed, taking Rilla by the shoulders and pushing himself backward away from the onslaught. He heard Arum’s warm chuckle, amused by the two of them.

“Alright, alright. Message received, I’ll leave you two to your baking, tragically bereft of my company. You were simply too fascinating not to watch” He intoned his words as if reciting his more dramatic poetry, hanging his head in mock sadness though he was smiling widely. Rilla leaned up to kiss him once, patted him on the cheek turned back to her mixing.

“We’ll let you know when we’re done, Damien. We’re in need of a judge.”

Arum briefly walked up to Damien too, keeping his dough-covered hands carefully away from him as he leaned in close to press his mouth to Damien’s crown, blowing some air from his nose to playfully ruffle Damien’s hair. “She thinks she can win, too. Adorable.” Arum whispered close to Damien’s ear, making him shiver just the slightest. Then Arum turned back too, concentrating on his work again with his tail swishing behind him contentedly.

With that, Damien padded back into the cozy living room, surrounded by the homely sounds of his two loves baking for him. Or rather, baking in competition, but Damien was fine with that. They’d gifted him with another poem after all, which occupied his time until finally his two flowers emerged from the kitchen again.

In the end, Damien naturally loved both of the things they’d baked, which had been frustrating for Arum and Rilla, but what else could Damien have said? He was equally biased in two ways, after all.