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yeolsmuffin · 5 years ago

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Primrose - Jongdae | Finale

Genre: Angst & Fluff | AU!Vampire/Soulmate Chen, AU!Vampire/Soulmate Reader|

Pairing: chenXreader, layXreader

Word Count: 30k

Summary: Never did you think that the sparrow birthmark you had since birth would lead you to be thrown into a world filled with vampires. A world where you found yourself falling in love more than once and a world that you would try your best to run from.

One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six |

Jongdae’s grin grew and he pulled you into his arms. His warmth and scent surrounded you like the most comfortable blanket. Hugging him wasn’t something you thought could handle at the moment - you were too weak so it overwhelmed your senses and stopped you from thinking straight. But you needed his embrace. You needed it more than air.

And even if you didn’t want to, you needed Jongdae.

But you wanted to need him.

And that was the thing with love.

Now, you just had to deal with Yixing when the two of you got back because even though you and Jongdae were going to get to a resolution, you didn’t know if it would be so easy for you and Yixing.

“Wow, look what that cat dragged in,” Baekhyun purred the moment the front door opened. “I knew you’d come back for me.”

Yixing rolled his eyes, placing a hand over Baekhyun's mouth quickly and pushing him along down the hallway. Baekhyun visibly struggled and pointed in your direction before he disappeared with Yixing.

You looked after the two boys, wondering when you would get the chance to speak to Yixing again.

You needed time to settle before you could even think too much into it though.

You looked over at Jongdae who was eyeing you nervously. “I guess I’ll find my way to my room,” you mumbled.

He opened his mouth but closed it again and nodded slowly. He was nervous and you could tell by the way his fingers were picking at the hem of his shirt. The man could be so confident when he needed to but around you, he lacked the ability. You knew that you were the cause of it and it made you fuss with your hands nervously.

The other boys were nowhere to be seen but you assumed they were still in the house since you could smell each of their scents but you had a good inclination that they were going to avoid you for a bit and give you some space.

For that, you were thankful. The last thing you needed was their overwhelming presence when you were trying to steady yourself around Jongdae.

Jongdae didn't follow or speak as you wandered off to your room, but he sighed and you weren't sure if it was relief or annoyance.

The only thing you had in your hands was one of the flowers from Jongdae. Nothing you had in the life you lived for two years seemed of importance since everything was bought for necessity so you left it all behind. There was nothing to be sentimental about and strangely, you thought this house was more sentimental for you than any other item you owned.

And well, it felt like home. Especially with the scent of Jongdae and Yixing clouding around you.

Things with Jongdae may have been complicated, but shit, they were even more complicated with Yixing. The boy you shared a bond with but yet he wasn't your mate was hard to make sense of. Not to mention the fact that his soulmate mark was so eerily close to yours.

At the end of the day, the feelings which you tried two years to fight weren't worth fighting anymore and you undoubtedly loved both of them.

Even so, you knew there was no choice to be made. Jongdae was yours and you were his no matter how much you still felt for Yixing.

After all, who was the one that brought you back?

…So how did you get over him? How did you move on from the first person you ever loved?

Yixing came into your world in a time of confusion and angst. He showed you love in simplistic and beautiful ways where Jongdae came in with what he thought was a hurricane of romance- it turned out to be a hurricane of asphyxiation. Yixing didn’t make or expect you to love him. With all that being said, maybe it wasn’t true love at all. Was true love founded by just needing comfort? You needed a safe place and Yixing was that.

With the smell of Yixing dwindling, you thought about getting over him. You stupidly assumed time would be enough and you had plenty of that.

But in the deep rational recesses of your mind, you also knew there would be a lot of heart ache for what seemed black and white, was filled with vibrant shades of blue.

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽

For two full days you slept and you assumed it was because you were near Jongdae. For the past two years, you never got more than 3 steady hours of sleep but now you slept peacefully. No more painful nightmares haunted you anymore.

Upon waking up with heavy eyes, you were groggy and since the boys hadn’t woken you, you were hungry. Not just for blood but for actual food too.

Hell, you hadn't remembered the last time you even had blood bank blood or a proper meal.

You had showered for what seemed like hours that morning and as you cleansed your body, you could no longer feel your bones. All of your curves were returning but you knew that only his or his blood would make your body really repair. The latter of which was no longer an option. Because instead of dreaming the past two nights, you spent your time mulling over what you were going to do with your relationship with Yixing.

If you were to live this life, you would have to live it peacefully and that would only be done if you left the feelings you had for Yixing behind because almost all you could think about was Jongdae. You could feel his heartbeat while you slept, for crying out loud.

Well, you sometimes felt Yixing’s too… but that wasn’t allowed to be included in your mind.

Jongdae was the only option for healing and while you weren't sure that feeding from him would be something you could handle right now, you had considered it.

It seemed you were miles ahead of where you were two years ago.

The distance made you love so much harder than when you had been close to him. Leaving Jongdae was a stupid decision and you knew it but it made you come to terms with the way your life had panned out.

After you dressed yourself in some of the clothes that had remained perfectly folded in your dresser, you went to sit down in the chair by the window but a knock to the door startled you.

Opening it slowly, your eyes touched a face you hadn't recalled seeing in a while. “Kyungsoo,” you said gently.

He nodded in your direction, Minseok at his side.

“Minseok,” you greeted.

“Good morning,” he smiled as he passed you a cup of what could only be blood. “From Dae.”

You took it, wondering what the point in declining was. You took a sip, feeling the warmth slid down your throat as Minseok raised a brow. You shrugged, “I ran for too long,” you responded to the question he hadn’t even needed to ask.

His blood had a way that made your cheeks tingle. Not many times had you drunk the bitter infused blood that belonged to Jongdae. You were more adapted to the sugary sweet that Yixing was. If only you had a taste for sweets but your soul was outlined in dark chocolate and black coffee so Jongdae's blood fell so perfectly in line with your palate.

“Are you giving up?” he asked.

“I think running was giving up actually. I don't really see myself as a victim anymore. I had freedom and well…it’s a long story.”

You had freedom but even though you ran, you still stayed close enough to them. You never ran too far because you knew you could and you knew you didn't want Jongdae to die.

“Can we come in?” Kyungsoo asked, holding a couple of medical supplies.

Nodding, you let them come in while you sat in the chair by the window. “Go ahead, Kyungsoo,” you gestured to the things he had.

For a moment, he stared at you and maybe he wasn't expecting you to agree to something that hadn't even been explained but then he approached you and sat the supplies down on the table. He surely wasn’t going to question you and you weren’t sure if it was for lack of care of because he just didn’t think much about it.

“Kyungsoo is trained well to take blood,” Minseok explained, “Yixing isn't really in the best shape to do it himself.”

“Why?” concern was sure to be etched into the wrinkles of your frown.

Minseok looked distressed, “He isn't really healing. He, like Jongdae, didn't do well when you left and while he continued to intake blood, he worsened with Jongdae. You are back and that helped Jongdae but well, Yixing refuses to stay in our house.”

Kyungsoo was in the process of swiping an alcohol pad across your skin when your body jolted forward. “Because I’m here?” the alcohol pad fell to the ground but Kyungsoo ignored it as he opened another one. “What was the point of coming back if I was going to make someone leave?”

“So they didn’t die, Y/N.”

“Yixing won't die just because I leave, Minseok.”

His eyes flitted away, “I’m not trying to stress you out but I think you may… don't make that face - just listen,” he demanded, “I think you may be mated to both of them and Yixing is trying to keep his distance because of that. He wants to prove otherwise but we aren't convinced. Even Jongdae is worried.”

You sighed, clutching your fist as Kyungsoo asked you to do so, “So I sleep for two days and all of this is unearthed?”

“We came to this conclusion a while ago.”

You scoffed, “And nobody came to the conclusion to let me know?”

He stared you down, “You were unreachable – on the run from both of them, what makes you think that even if we could get to you that it would make you come home? When you left, you kind of left the impression that you had no regard for either of them. Regardless of if Yixing is your soulmate or not, you know he loved you.”

Hearing the words out loud from someone like Minseok made them hit even harder. Yes, you knew that you loved Jongdae and Yixing but you tried not to include how Yixing felt in that. Which, you had to add, was entirely thoughtless on your part. To think the feelings went both ways made the implications of your actions hit harder. Everything you did was hanging over you and you felt terrible but, hell, you deserved to feel terrible. Regardless of how you felt, you hadn't taken in account the feelings of those around you. You wanted to blame it on being young but you were old enough to know better. You couldn't decide for someone else if they should have you in their life or not. Especially when they had never done anything to hurt you. Jongdae and Yixing were doing everything to make you happy.

“I know you have no idea where to go from here but please take my brothers into account with your choices.”

You hadn't even realized that Kyungsoo had pierced your skin when you looked down and saw the red liquid flowing through the syringe and into the vial. “How do I fix anything without hurting one of them?”

Minseok shrugged, “I can’t help you with that much. Maybe you should talk to Jongdae.”

“Speaking of, Y/N, this blood is for him, I assume you know that,” Kyungsoo stated. You nodded in confirmation, “Are you okay if we take some for Yixing?” Without hesitation, you nodded.

“Let me know if it helps him,” you said softly.

“And if it does?” Minseok pried.

You sipped on Jongdae's blood, “I haven't really thought that far.”

And you hopped it didn't. You hopped you hadn't mated with Yixing because you wanted him, you loved him, and he was a good friend to you but at the end of the day if you had to decide who you were more linked to, it was Jongdae. Every thought of it hurt you.

It hurt because you knew that meant you would cause more hurt and you loved Yixing enough that you didn’t want to hurt him.

Things would have been much easier if you hadn't come into their life but there was nothing to change that now. There was nothing to take back the night you should have stayed home to study.

But you had to be honest, would you go back if you could? It seemed your life had more meaning now, even if it hurt.

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽

Three days of Jongdae's blood and you were back to normal. Or whatever normal was for you at this point.

Were vampires normal?

It was a bright Monday morning and you could see the warmth of the sun through the blinds and you swore you could feel it from your place in bed.

Before you could even lift the sheets, a soft knock sounded on your door. Instead of getting up, you just called out, “Come in.”

Jongdae peeked his head in the door, a nervous smile playing on his lips. “Good morning, I’m sorry to bother you this early… uh, I was just wondering if-"

“Jongdae, you can come in,” you said softly.

You swore you saw his cheeks turn bright red. “Ah.”

He pushed the door open wider slowly and walked in awkwardly while scratching his neck. He was adorned in a black button up with a nice pair of light distressed jeans that fit perfectly over his muscular thighs. He looked good, and you felt your eyes continuing to pass over his body as he waited for you to stop. “I’m sorry,” you words came out in a stutter.

Jongdae let out a small breath, “I’m sorry for waking you,” he hadn't decided to call you out and for that you were thankful.

“I was already awake,” you shrugged what should have been nonchalantly but you knew you were stiff as a board.

Jongdae's eyes fell across you as you began to sit up and you watched as he struggled to look away, “I know you just came home a few days ago but I wanted to know if you wanted to go out for breakfast?”

“Go out?”

The slight confidence he had seemed to gain, fell, “I mean, not if you don't want to.”

Shaking your head, you stood and smiled at him, “No, that sounds really good.”

Jongdae smiled again, “Okay, yeah, that’s awesome. I’ll let you get ready.”

He turned around but before you could leave, you called out for him. He paused, looking at you from over his shoulder, “Yeah?”

“Is this… is it a date?” you asked.

Jongdae quickly shook his head, “No, I mean, not unless that’s what you want. If not, just completely a platonic friendly outing.”

You held his gaze, “I would like if it was a date. I would like to try…that.”

It had been on your mind for a while. When you were away from him, you constantly dreamed of his embrace and affection, so you wondered what it would feel like. You wondered if you could just live happily alongside Jongdae. Surely, you had forever but would it hurt to start now?

“Try?”

“I want to try to be normal, Jongdae. A normal couple. Even if we have to start from the bottom.”

He wanted to say more but you could tell he held back and for that, you were thankful. “Okay. Everything will be at your pace then, if we’re gonna do this.”

“Maybe it should be at your pace?” you replied quickly as he began walking.

This time, he laughed softly, “If it's my pace, I will smother you.”

You shook your head, trying to fight the fear and worry deep in your heart, “Smother me then, Jongdae. It's been a long two years and I know we have forever but I want to get everything figured out. I want to feel it all from you because I wasn't giving you a fair shot before.” You walked closer to him, “I don’t think you know this but I was running from you, sure, but I still stayed close. I was calculated, staying far enough away that I deteriorated but I always stayed close enough to keep us alive. I know it's not much considering I hurt us both by staying away and you even more so but it's something you should know. It wasn't the bond that kept me close but it was you. And I want you to know that.”

He reached out before dropping his hand once again, “I knew,” he whispered, “I could have caught you anytime I wanted to. I have to be honest, the only reason I came to you was because Yixing was dying and not because I was. You stayed close enough to keep us alive like you said and while I selfishly wanted you back, I also selflessly wanted you to live how you wanted. Even if it sucked.”

Dying? What did that mean? Yeah, Minseok said he was off bad but he had left out a crucial piece of information.

“He won't tell you for himself but when you left, the effects on him were worse than me. I was still making it every day, even though I was weak, but Yixing was and is starting to lose himself even with being closer to you now.”

You felt your eyes start to water and all you could feel was the deep ache in your chest that told you it was your fault. “I thought, I mean I guess I didn't think. I only imagined it would affect you which is why I tried to stay close. I guess I didn't stay close enough. I don't know what to do to help. The boys told me he was sick but they left out the dying part.”

Jongdae reached forward once more, this time touching your chin gently and sending jolts through your skin. “That being said, I want you to think about everything again. I want you to consider what you want from me and consider how you feel for Yixing.”

“Wait. Are you saying you would just standby if I wanted Yixing?”

He nodded.  

“Jongdae, I love Yixing,” Jongdae tried not to flinch but you saw it and it made you flinch, “don't get me wrong but I want to be with you or at least, that’s what my heart is saying. That being said, I won't let Yixing die but I also know that you are the one I choose if I have to.” And you had to.

Jongdae's hand glided over your cheek, “My worry is I give you my all and you decide you love or want Yixing more. That's my only hesitation. Now, I do love you and it would hurt if you wanted Yixing but I could manage, I think, maybe. If I give you one hundred percent, I can't go back, Y/N.”

And again, you knew you loved Yixing but you knew where your heart was. You knew whose feelings you felt more and you knew who you had thought the most about. That was Jongdae without question. You just had to decide how to help Yixing without being with him.

“I’m going to help Yixing but Jongdae, please give me your all because I fully intend to give my all. I’m not going to consider even pursuing Yixing so don't let me down, either. I don't think I can match your intensity from the start because I’ve never had a relationship with a man like this but if you show me, I can learn.” 

Jongdae nodded unsurely, his fingers pressing against your neck, “I hope you can handle it.”

Your pulse raced against his fingers. “I can.”

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽

He was supposed to take you to breakfast but instead, he took you on a detour.

“I’m not trying to test you or anything. My intentions are good with this, I assure you,” he said as he pulled in front of a bricked house with bright green vines cascading down the sides. “I think you should stay with Yixing for a couple of days.”

Jongdae had parked the car but you remained still in the seat, not looking in his direction. “You brought me out to have me stay with another man? I thought we were going to breakfast?” you weren't upset, but you were confused. You told Jongdae you were sure and while he said he wasn't testing you, it sure felt like it. He was just going to leave you alone with Yixing?

“Listen, he needs help. We just want to know if you can help him. Stay with him a couple days. Figure things out with him while you’re at it,” his expression was pained but he tried to mask it the best he could.  

“We agreed to do this Jongdae. Don't talk like Yixing is still an option.”

His shoulders fell in defeat.

“You don't trust me,” there wasn't a hint of anger in your voice, just sadness as you realized that he didn't and probably wouldn't – shouldn’t, trust you for a while. “So why bring me here? Shouldn't you keep me in your sight?”

“If I trust you, I want to trust you from faith not because I’m keeping you under lock and key. Besides that, I just want my brother to be better and if that means you guys need to hash it out, figure out if you are mated or whatever, I don't care. I just want us to stop suffering.”

You hurt him so much – too much. You wanted the suffering to stop too which is what made you nod your head and grab the car door handle. “Will you be back for me?”

He nodded, “If things work out that way. I just need you to be sure, my love. Please don't spite me for this. I just need us to all be sure before we get in too deep.”

“I think about him occasionally, yes, but I always think about you. Just know that nothing will change that because nothing did before.”

Reaching across, you splayed a hand over his cheek, sparks engulfing your skin. Jongdae jumped from the contact but his hand came up to cup over yours. It was slowly that you moved your lips closer to his and every second that ticked by, you were terrified that he would move but that feeling quickly washed away when you felt him close the distance that remained. His lips engulfed yours as his hands made their way to your cheeks. Your hand dropped from his face to latch itself around his neck as your knee dug into the gear shift that kept the two of you apart. Jongdae let out a noise when you pushed closer to him. He sunk his teeth gently into your lips before pulling away and pressing a kiss to your forehead.  

“Thank you,” he said softly.  

“Thank you for loving me.”

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽

As you climbed the steps to the house that Yixing was staying at, your heart felt heavy. You could feel him the closer you got and it made you nervous.

Upon the realization that you had mated with him, made everything even more confusing especially when you had to take into account the symbol on your hip. The one you were trying hard to ignore and trying even harder to conceal. There was speculation that you had mated with Yixing and there was evidence on your body, even though you pretended there wasn’t.

The dark garnet sparrow had shifted to an amethyst slowly after Yixing had first fed from you. For a while, you thought it was your mind messing with you but when you had finally ran away, you realized how evident the new shade really was.

How could you be mated to two vampires? Hell, it was still hard to believe you were mated to one – for you and all the vampires in the house. Your once human self shouldn’t have been destined for a vampire, let alone two. You defied odds more than you liked and it made you reminiscent on the times you wanted to live quietly. Your sister was the wild one who wanted the thrill of passionate love and you were reserved as you reached out for knowledge. Love was the last thing on your mind and now you were surrounded by so much you swore you may drown in it. And while it didn’t make things better, you knew that was why you had run away.

Life had surely gotten more interesting and in the time you were away, and the short time of being back, you realized that you had wanted love. You wanted Jongdae to engulf you the way he wanted to two years ago. The game changer was being mated to Yixing because you knew that moving on would be even more difficult.  

It made you wonder who you were really meant to be with.

Was life that cut and dry?

Was love that cut and dry?

Did you have someone you were meant to be with?

Was loving Jongdae a coincidence or did it happen because it was supposed to? And loving Yixing? Did you only love him for the space he filled in your life?

You had a lot of questions and while you didn’t ask them to anyone particularly, you knew even if you did that nobody would have an answer. Your heart was the only gateway to answers and it wasn’t always the best at giving you clear answers.  

Before you even reached Yixing’s door, you knew he didn’t want to see you. You felt it in your bones that were currently shaking – well, they felt like they were.

For the record, you wouldn’t have been seeing Yixing had it not been for Jongdae and for the idea that Yixing really was dying. You were really trying to get over him and focus on Jongdae but seeing him would make it harder. Yixing didn’t hurt you, Yixing didn’t do anything to you that you didn’t want nor did he ever treat you ill but not wanting to be with him boiled down to the simple fact of who you thought about more. Jongdae was engrained in your head and it made you feel bad for Yixing. The unsuspecting casual in this battle you never wanted to fight. There was little hope in you that Yixing had a true mate somewhere in the depths of the world. He didn’t deserve not to have one that was solely his.  

You didn’t knock before wrapping your hand around the door knob to the house. What was the point when he wouldn’t answer?

As you turned the door that wasn’t locked, it occurred to you that you had no idea what you were doing here. Jongdae didn’t give you much to work with so you assumed you would at least focus on getting Yixing home and to drink some of your blood. From there, you would see what you all could do.

Mates could just be platonic, couldn’t they?

Platonic wasn’t a word that fit for you and Yixing anymore though and you wondered if there would ever be a time that you could be.

The moment your eyes saw his frail body, you cracked. Tears fell from your eyes and without thinking, you slammed the door and ran over to his slumped figure sitting in the dinning chair. He flinched when you got near so you hesitated, dropping down in front of him.

“Yixing.”

He had seen better days, in fact, you had never seen him in such bad shape.

“What are you doing here?” he managed to creek out.

“What are you doing here?” you copied.

He gave you a look, “Do I answer that?”

“You should come home, you need to heal,” you said gently as you reached out for him. He moved his arm back away from your hand.

“I’ve tried healing here and it’s not working.”

You nodded, “Okay, well you can heal better at home. Where your family is.”

“Where you are,” he corrected. He was being short and withdrawn but what did you expect? You could see exactly what you had done to him.  

“Yixing-”

He shook his head, “No, listen to me. I’m not an idiot, Y/N. I watched Jongdae lose his mind over you for the past two years. Even knowing that you were close and that we could bring you home, he was constantly in a frenzy over you. He cared about nothing – nothing, when you were gone. His hobbies, his family, his work – none of it mattered when you were gone. I watched him heart broken, every second of the day because you wouldn’t come home. And he didn’t want to get you, he wanted you to come but yet, you never did. He was suffering physically and as he did, so did I. I too, was thinking about you often but I don’t know that I was as crazy as Jongdae. I missed you and I was sick, but I wasn’t in the shape he was. Honestly, I know how much he loves you and I’m not sure I will ever compare and that’s saying a lot, because I do love you. I’ve loved you since the second I laid eyes on you and it’s a fucking nightmare. But when you were gone, I hurt a lot less. Now that you’re back, it hurts so bad all over again and I think I’d rather die than feel that way. I’d rather die than hurt because the person I love isn’t meant for me. I don’t know how to handle it, Y/N. I don’t want you healing me and making things better because it just makes me love you more.”

Yixing was eyeing you carefully as he finished speaking. You watched him carefully in response, noting the dark circles under his eyes and how shallow his once full cheeks were. “What do you need from me, Yixing? Tell me how I can make this better.” You had so much you could say, but that was the best thing your mouth and brain could form into a sentence.

“To keep loving Jongdae and don’t offer me another thought.”

“I’m not going to give up on you, Yixing. It’s not that simple. I got us into this mess and I’m going to figure it out now.”

He laughed sadly, “What can you figure out? You didn’t do this, Y/N. This was my fate. I loved you the moment I saw your face in the club a couple years ago. I loved you when I told Jongdae to leave you alone because I thought you were my mate. We aren’t in this mess because of you. I don’t know if anyone can be to blame because of what happened but we can blame how it happened. I never should have let you feed off of me, I shouldn’t have fed off you.”

You shivered at the thought. “And it’s already done. So what can we do now?”

He shrugged. “I just stay away from you. Far.”

“Yixing, you know what happens if mates are away from each other. We will die.” 

Finally, he laid a hand on your arm gently, “Look at me,” he said sadly, “I’ll die. You have Jongdae and look at you, you’re okay.” You wanted to doubt everything. You wanted to doubt being mates, but you weren’t so sure there was a reason to anymore. It was evident that this was the hand you were dealt but that didn’t stop it from hurting.

His hand ignited a spark beneath your skin. You watched the sad expression on his face as he pulled his hand away. Of course he was right and that was something you never considered. You were fine and he was struggling. What it meant though, you weren’t sure.

Yixing readjusted himself in his seat, one of his hands reaching out for you and guiding you to stand. “We mated, Y/N. We have a different bond now but the only difference between us as individuals is that you were already mated which is why, I’m suffering and you are not. Obviously, your soulmate mark changing told you something was off.”

Your eyes snapped to his as you sat down across from him. “How did you know about that?”

“I wasn’t sure until your reaction just now,” an unhappy smile tugged at the corners of his lips, “I’ve been having dreams about it, though.”

And to think you had done so well at keeping it from everyone. “Okay, but humor me,” you started, “What does any of this have to do with you not coming home?” 

“Don’t act like you don’t know the answer to that question.”

You folded your hands in your lap nervously. “I want to hear your words on it. I just want to know why we can’t co-exist in the house and be there for each other. Live platonically. Can’t mates be platonic?”

“Because we aren’t platonic. Maybe mates can be just friends. Maybe there are mates that don’t feel like this. Am I dismissing your feelings when I think you feel the same? Y/N, I can’t promise I love you the way Jongdae does, and I’m not going to act like we have a chance but I know that I do love you and if you feel any fraction of that, that’s why we can’t coexist. How can you love Jongdae if someone like me is there to make you second guess things? Even if you don’t second guess, you’ll try to live without hurting my feelings and that’s not fair.”

Several moments of silence passed.

It wasn’t as if he was wrong.

Coexisting with Yixing was possible to you but you knew if you did you would tiptoe across every action between you and Jongdae and you and Yixing. You knew that you wouldn’t second guess being with Jongdae but somewhere in your heart, you would still yearn for Yixing… but then again, even if you didn’t make things work, you knew you would still yearn for him.

You don’t just stop loving someone, sometimes they shift their role in your life whether it’s good, bad or painful.

“And what, so you’ll die, as you are now?” you questioned, anger arching up your back as you tensed up. “I keep my distance until you are dead?”

He just closed his eyes, “What else do you want me to do?”

Well?  

What did you want him to do?

“C-can we just try?” you stuttered out.  

“Try what? I would rather die, Y/N. I’m tired of fighting. I’m tired of hurting.”

“All you have to do is intake my blood and let me visit you every couple of days, can’t we do that?” the thought was spur of the moment but you assumed it was better than nothing. It wasn’t as if you could convince him to come home and it wasn’t as if you could all live together if he did come home.

“For the rest of our lives,” he said.  

You raised a brow, “What?”

He looked away, “We would have to do that every couple days for the rest of our lives. I know you’re new to this immortal thing but that’s a long time Y/N.”

“Then we can do it for a long time,” you said firmly.  

He laughed, “Forever is a long time for unrequited love.”

You scoffed, “It's not unrequited,” the words fading out towards the end as you realized you hadn't meant to say that out loud. You hadn’t meant to sting yourself with a slap to the face and you hadn’t meant for it to touch Yixing too.

“But it will be. The more and longer you love Jongdae, the more insignificant I’ll be.”

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, “I don't have any solution for this other than just trying. Can we just try to live like this? Should we give up before trying? It's not like we all aren't hurting anyway.”

The one thing you had brought with you, you pushed across the table. A dark blue thermos filled with a couple of dozen ounces of your blood. You just hoped it would be enough to heal the injuries you saw peeking out from underneath his long sleeved shirt. Part of you didn't want your blood to be able to heal him because that meant maybe you weren't actually mated to him – but like he knew, your soulmate mark was a heavy indication of the near definite mateship.

His hand clasped around the thermos, “Thirty days.”

“What?” you questioned with furrowed brows.  

He flipped open the lid, “I’ll do it for thirty days and if this arrangement doesn't work out, I’m going through with my original plan.”

Once the lip of the thermos was against his lips and you saw the red stain his lips, you crossed your arms, “I'm not going to let you off yourself. I’m not going to let you cause harm to yourself and if you were in my shoes, you would feel the same way.”

Yixing scoffed as he continued to drink. It didn't take long for his skin to start rejuvenating, especially with the power of healing that he had. It was beautiful to see his skin return to the shade it once had been and the light returning to his hair.  

Once he had finished the last bit, he pushed the thermos back towards you. “You should go.”

“Yixing-"

“Please. You’ve done all you can to help right now. Come back in a couple of days.”

You wanted to be friends. You really did. But you also knew it would be hard, if not impossible right now.  

It would be hard when you were trying so desperately to love Jongdae while saving the man who saved you.  

To avoid causing any more pain, you grabbed the thermos and nodded. “Okay but you have to promise me that I have thirty days and you won't do anything stupid in that time.”

“What could I do? Run away like you did?”

You shot him a glance but you couldn’t be mad when he tested your limits on that. “Yes. Like you basically already have.”

He stood, gesturing towards the door, “You have thirty days. I’ll be here for all of them though. Don't expect me to come home and let the boys know that as well.”

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽ 

What exactly were you going to prove to him in thirty days? It's not as if you had some master plan. All you were going to do was bring him blood and provide him with some company for about an hour every couple of days. You had no plan to mend your hearts but you hoped that there would be something you could figure out. There had to be a way for you to all live happily together.  

There also wasn't a way you could force someone to get over you. Or to force yourself to get over them.  

Jongdae helped with the latter though. That night after seeing Yixing, you felt drained and Jongdae took you out to dinner.  

It wasn't overly fancy for which you were thankful but it was a nice enough local restaurant that they served red wine which had become one of your favorite drinks when you spent your years away from Jongdae.  

It was the only thing that could help the ache in your heart.  

You sipped greedily while Jongdae watched you with a smile. “I didn't know you were quite the wine enthusiast that you are.”

You sat the glass down, twirling it in between your fingers on the table, “It's a new thing for me. It's a weird feeling when I drink. I think it's almost more like a high than a drunken state. Which is not what I remember it being when I wasn’t, well,” you gestured to your body, “like this.”

Jongdae hummed, “I always wondered what being drunk was like. For us, alcohol doesn't have the effect that it has on humans. We don't throw up or lose control. Like you said, it's more of a euphoria. Like sitting on a cloud.”

You laughed quietly, “Have you sat on a cloud?”

He narrowed his eyes, ”No, but if I had, I assume if would feel a certain way.”

Shaking a hand at him, you smiled, “That's like the opposite of being drunk. When you’re drunk everything feels funny. The world around you is spinning, you can't control what you say or do, and you almost always hit the ground hard. There is a small high but always a big low. Getting drunk will make you feel really bad at the end of the night. Well, for humans. It's hard to explain.”

“And you have a lot of experience with this?” he asked with a curious smile. “I thought you always had your head in a book?”

A smile ghosted your lips for a moment, “Some nights I just really missed my parents and I wanted to numb everything. I only did it a couple times because I realized every time that it would only make me feel worse. I’d have flash backs and miss them even more.”

He sighed, “I’m really sorry. Weren't you scared that would happen again?”

Looking down at the wine glass, you shook your head, “When I was away from you, I kind of needed to see them. Of course, I was slightly disappointed that alcohol didn't affect me the same way anymore but I realized it was for the best. I have a long time left to live without needing to live in agony.”

“I’m sure it's hard without your family. My parents are very distant with me and the boys. They aren't the nurturing type but regardless, it’s always nice to see them. I couldn't imagine not having that option.” For a moment, he reached out to calm your other hand that was shaking nervously against the table, but he stopped going to place it back on his lap underneath the table. You stopped him, reached out and grabbing his hand with your shaking one. The sparks made chills wash down your spine as Jongdae relaxed.  

“I told you, you don't have to hold back,” you whispered. “I'm not afraid anymore.” But you knew the last part was a lie. You were scared. Scared to love and scared to be loved since it wasn't something you ever accepted lightly. But it was no longer Jongdae that you were afraid of. You trusted him somehow. And maybe it was because he took you to Yixing, maybe it was because he let you run away and only came after you because Yixing was dying.  

If anything, Jongdae had done more to earn your trust than to destroy it.  

He only made one mistake and that was by turning you – which was more an accident than mistake now that you looked back on it. What could he have done differently – fate had locked this in a long time ago, it seemed.

“Maybe I’m afraid, Y/N. Have you considered that?” he teased but you could see a sliver of truth through the space between his lips.

“Don't be. I returned quickly from him didn't I?”

He nodded once, “You did.”

“Do you know why?”

“Because he made you leave?”

You cracked a grin, “Okay, that is part of it.”

He rubbed a thumb across the back of your knuckles, “What's the other part?”

“I missed you.”

His eyes darkened as a small spread across his face but it dwindled as he looked at you for a moment. “I’ve always been worried…” he trailed off momentarily. “I know I always told you I loved you because of you and not because of the bond. I worry that you won’t love me for anything other than the bond. So I’m going to do everything I can to make you love me for me.”

You squeezed his hand, “Thank you for that but it seems like you’re already doing a good job at that”.

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽ 

You slid the thermos over to Yixing and he gave you a nod, “You can go.”

Glaring at him, you clenched your fists. It was slightly enraging you that he wasn’t trying to continue your friendship but you knew you had to keep it in. Your feelings weren’t fair. You weren’t allowed to feel anything close to anger when it came to Yixing. You did this to him. You had caused this. And fuck, did it hurt and just intensified all the anger you shouldn’t have been feeling in the first place.

“Y/N,” he said firmly, “Go.” His hand gesturing towards the door.  

No “Hi, how are you?”, no “How’s the new job?” nothing other than “Go”.

It stung. You felt the brunt of it as you watched him look away when you went to the door, his face expression neutral. Surely, it was part of the ruse. He wanted nothing between the two of you since love couldn’t exist and you forced yourself to understand.  

While you would make the friendship work the best you could, you knew he couldn’t see it that way. He slept alone at night and you had started to share a bed with Jongdae – things were just different. If it wasn’t love, what did Yixing get from you? What could he get from you if not your love?  

It was apparent, that you had nothing to offer him.

Maybe if you could have remained as just friends then you could offer him companionship but companionship with someone you love or loved wasn’t easy.

Every thorn that stuck out from the broken bond between you and Yixing was sticking straight into your heart. Even after leaving him, you had an echo of pain. 

If it would have been possible, maybe you could have died from the pain of Yixing’s pain. He really was your mate because every sting of pain he felt, you felt too. It was as if everything you felt had a drop shadow and it was etching deeply into your skin.

He feigned indifference but you felt the opposite of that and maybe that’s what made it hurt more.

That night, you cried in Jongdae's arms. It was the third time you had delivered blood to Yixing and you almost didn’t want to go back. Jongdae held you as you shook with agony and you know it scared him because you could hear the nervous tick in his breathing as he tried to rub your back to calm you. Jongdae may have been your mate, but there were things he didn’t know about you like how to calm your antics. The only person who knew was your sister and Yixing. Which only made you cry more.

Eventually, after two more bad visits to Yixing, Jongdae picked up on his own way to ease your tears and panic attacks. He had to hold you so tight that he could nearly break you before your breathing would slow and the tears would start to dry. Gentle kisses to your wrists were the final calming seal to his remedy and for the night, you would be over crying over Zhang Yixing.  

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽ 

When you weren’t being a blood bank for Yixing, you worked at a children’s hospital in the neonatal unit.

The job had presented itself and while originally Yixing was going to give you a good recommendation for a hospital, this one found you.  

Jongdae was enthusiastic to watch you live the passions you had always dreamed of and you couldn’t help but notice how he stared lovingly at you when you told him about your day. Regardless if that day was spent with hope or agony, you always spent your night in his arms. Sometimes crying and sometimes laughing.

Realizing how fragile human life was, was painful and it made you reach out to your sister who Jongin had no problem hunting down. It had been so long since you had gotten in contact with her, that she moved cities in fear that you wanted your space from her. In the time, she had occupied herself with working as a hair dresser. Thankfully, she was doing okay and you realized with a huge huff of relief that you loved your sister. You didn’t always agree with her and the two of you had your differences but being away from her for so long reminded you just how much you needed her. She was all you had left of your parents and you needed to cling to each other. Although, you wondered how the vampire thing would affect things.

You made a point that you would visit her soon and you had high hopes that maybe at this point in your life, you and your sister could really connect. She was all you really had underneath the cloak that was vampirism.

“Jongdae, do you want to visit my sister for a couple of days next week? I know it’s really spur of the moment-" the words were coming out in a jumbled and panicked mess.

He looked at you over the book he had been reading, his eyes soft and glistening, “You want me to go on a trip with you?”

As you nodded, the book slowly slipped down into his lap. “She doesn’t live far and I think it would be nice to reconnect.”

He nodded, “Okay. I’ll look into the area to see what I can do while you guys visit.”

Before he could pick up his book, you cleared your throat, “I was going to introduce you to her.”

Jongdae froze, expression stuck midway in an unreadable look. “What?”

You scratched the back of your neck, “I know I’ve only been home for a couple of weeks but I’d like to introduce you to her. I don’t think I should really hide you at this point.”

“As what?” he paused.  

“What?”

Jongdae licked his lips nervously, drawing your attention to his sharp lips. “Like what are you going to introduce me as?”

“As my boyfriend?” you asked in response.

He blinked rapidly, “Oo-kay.”

You froze, “Should I not?”

He shook his head frantically, standing and the book smacking against the ground, “No, no. You should.”

You stepped towards him, “Are you my boyfriend?” you asked in confusion.

A nervous but steady laugh sounded in his throat, bubbling past his lips. “Do you want me to be?”

This time he took a step forward as you avoided eye contact and a small, “Yes,” escaped.  

“I’ve never really been a boyfriend,” you heard him smile as his hands clasped your cheeks and pulled your gaze up, “but I assume it’s no different than being mates. Although, I guess if we have a human title, I’ll have to turn up the romance, right?”

You swallowed and shrugged your shoulders.

“Does that make you nervous? Romance with me?”

You shook your head, “You make me nervous,” you whispered.  

There was a small growl that came from Jongdae as he pulled your lips less than an inch away from his. You were holding your breath for a moment, but exhaled as you moved forward and pecked Jongdae on the lips. He smiled in surprise and rubbed your cheeks tenderly in response, “You make me nervous too.” He pulled you into a tight hug, “What makes me even more nervous is meeting your sister. I’ve never met family before. I feel like I should as for her blessing or something.”

And you just laughed as you pressed your face against his chest, “I think it’s a little late for that.”

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽ 

You visited Yixing that day, and this made the eight time you had seen him in the three weeks you had been home. He was colder somehow each time but yet, you were happy to see how filled out he was. He didn’t give you much time to spend around him, but your blood was taking care of most of his ailments.  

You clutched the thermos in your hands nervously. You were seeing him about two to three times a week so it had been a couple of days since you last came.

You opened his door easily, walking slowly into the hall and slipping your shoes off but something made you stop. Your hands gripped the thermos tighter as this time you smelled someone that wasn’t Yixing. Someone you had never smelled before. You slowly raised your head and were met with dark doe like eyes and light hair. He smiled at you but the smile was one of confusion and you couldn’t bring yourself to mirror it.  

“Y/N,” he called easily.

The thermos dropped from your hands, Yixing appeared and caught it before it could clatter against the ground. You caught his gaze, his once gentle eyes were constantly harsh on you and you had to force your fingers to clasp the thin fabric of your pants to avoid trying to touch his face. He was close, probably the closest he had been in a while and it had you shuttering.  

But you weren’t shuttering because it was nice for him to be near, you were shuttering because it ached. You felt his pain bouncing off inside your head and flushing straight down into your heart. You felt your own agony twisting and tightening with his and it made you want to grab your throat to stop the feeling of your esophagus closing in.

He moved away quickly though, his scent breezing heavily over your face as he moved. “Go now,” was all that fell from his lips as he turned his back to you. Maybe if he could look at you it wouldn’t feel like he was stepping on your chest. The more he fought his true feelings the more the echoes hurt.

The other man cocked his head, “Let her stay for a moment, Yixing.”

He shook his head, “For what?”

The other man sighed, and began to whisper furiously.  

You were frozen in your spot, unable to slip your feet back into your shoes as you watched the banter.  

It took only a moment for Yixing to send chills down your body by roaring, “Go.” His voice caused you to jump and the anger that he was exuding, coursed through your veins.

The other man smiled at you sympathetically, tightly closed his lips and then waved at you.

You couldn’t even manage to put your shoes back on, so you picked them up as your tears dripped onto his tile entryway and you fled, leaving the door wide open in your wake.  

“That was mean,” you heard the strange man hiss. “Did you have to make her cry?”

But you knew this is what you deserved. You couldn’t even fight back because at least Yixing was alive and well. At least he was following your request for the full month but you knew, the time was nearing an end and with the looks of things, you didn’t know what was going to happen.

You could feel both of you aching but even so, you didn’t want the easy way out. You wanted Yixing to hang on but as you thought about it, did you want him to hang on selfishly?  

You got home in a fury of tears. Baekhyun was the first one to see you, equipped with a remark about your short shorts when he froze mid cat call upon seeing your tears. He dropped the bagel he was holding and shook his hands like he didn’t know what to do. You tried to avoid his gaze as you hurried up the stairs and straight into Jongdae’s arms that were unfolded as he rushed out of his room.

“Does he have to be that cruel?” you heard Baekhyun ask from downstairs.

“Says you,” Sehun snorted.

Minseok sighed, “I guess he does. He says he is doing well now but he doesn’t seem like himself. We are going to have to-”

Before you could hear anything else, Jongdae pulled you into his room. “My sweet Primrose, why does he hurt you so much?” He sat on the edge of his bed and pulled you onto his lap.

“I deserve it,” you muttered against his neck as you nuzzled into it.

He scoffed, “You have done nothing to deserve it. Okay? Yes, you hurt both he and I, yes you ran away from us, yes you mated and fell in love with him, but Y/N, was any of it purposeful? You didn’t run away on purpose; you didn’t hurt us on purpose. You were scared. You were human for twenty years of your life. The life with us was overwhelming, I get it. I was upset, mad at times and maybe my trust is a bit broken but never have I thought that you didn’t have the right to any of your reactions or feelings.” You pressed a gentle kiss to his neck as he spoke. “Besides, Yixing is grown, he knew what was going on just as well as you did – if not more. He knew the outcome but preceded with his actions. You do not deserve him shutting you out.”

You pondered on his words for a moment before speaking, “Maybe I do though. Maybe it’s the only way he can get over me.”

“So? What about you getting over him? What if this method doesn’t work the same for you? This is all selfish actions on his part.”

You pulled back and looked at Jongdae, catching his deep and serious gaze. “But we say that from the comfort of each other's arms. Are you biased because you care for me and are watching me in pain?”

“I may be biased because I love you but I’m also biased because this is not how I would have handled the situation.”

You shrugged; your eyes still wet with tears. “I’m hurting but I’m not sure how mad I can be at him for it. I don’t know if it’s changing my feelings for him though, so if that’s the goal, it isn’t working. If it changes his feelings for me, maybe it’s what he wanted.”

Jongdae slides his hands underneath your shirt, sparks igniting against the cells of the skin on your back as his fingers travel up your spine. “We have to live like this for a long time, how long is he going to be causing you this pain for his own volition?”

You shivered at his rapidly moving touch, “Who knows. You’ve been really good at comforting me since, though.”

“For the woman I love, I will do anything.”

Pausing for a moment, you thought. Jongdae and you had made a lot of improvements in your relationship and you had felt ungodly safe with him lately. Maybe it was the situation with Yixing, maybe it was just Jongdae but you felt different. You were enjoying being engulfed by Jongdae even if he hadn’t smothered you all the way he said he would. He was going easy on you and for once, you wanted him to be a little less gentle. You weren’t sure if Jongdae was drinking enough to be satiated but you knew you were increasingly giving Yixing more blood and it was making it harder for Kyungsoo to get enough since you hadn’t been drinking enough from Jongdae either.

There were several times when Jongdae offered to feed you but there had been very few where you had offered for Jongdae to feed from you and it just felt right in that moment.  

You didn’t give yourself time to think too much into it before you lifted both of your hands to cup Jongdae’s face. He smiled in surprise. “Would you want to feed from me?”

The smile went flat, nearly falling from his face, “What?”

“I want you to feed from me.”

His eyes widened in shock as everything from before started to come to his head. Last time he fed from you, you fled. You knew you were asking something terrifying but you hoped he had gained enough trust to know this time you weren’t going anywhere. You genuinely liked Jongdae, your vampire boyfriend/mate that you were learning so much about. He was the softest, sweetest and most passionate vampire that ever existed you thought. He was gentle with your feelings and was always so quick to make sure you were okay.

This time you wouldn’t leave and you didn’t know how you could say that to him. You weren’t scared of anything other than hurting Jongdae at that point.

“Baby,” he said gently, causing you to have a fit of chills as he used a pet name you hadn’t heard in so long, “Is that really something you want?”

Pressing a gentle quick peck to his lips, you smiled, “Yes.”

He nodded slowly, “Okay. This is something that will be at your pace though because if I take it at mine, I will surely scare you away. I’m not losing you again,” you began to protest but he shook his head, “Uh, uh, don’t even bother.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

You kissed him once again and his fingers dug into your spine as he let out a groan.  

“But not like this.” Jongdae pulled you back to the headboard of the bed, he leaned back against it, situating you on top of him, either of your thighs pressed into the sides of his. “This is how I want to feed,” he said with a smile.

You scoffed, “I thought you said my pace.”

He raised a brow, “Do you get to pick the position I feed in? You’re offering up your blood after all.” He leaned forward, kissing your ear before whispering, “is there another way you’d prefer me?”

You swallowed a moan as you felt yourself clench in response. Quickly, you shook your head and offered your neck to him.  

“No foreplay, you just want to get straight to business?” he asked with hooded eyes.

You were trembling underneath the touch he hadn’t even placed on your skin so when he actually put one hand on your waist and one hand on your shoulder, you thought you would crumble.

“You ready, my love?”

You let out a small, “yes” and Jongdae’s fangs pressed gently against the skin of your neck. He teasingly ran them over the skin there several times, giving you hundreds of thousands of goose bumps.

“You smell so divine, it is such a pleasure to be this close to you,” he whispered before kissing your skin and then piercing his fangs through your skin.

Euphoria washed over you as you leaned further into Jongdae, feeling his growing member beneath you. He let out a moan as his arm fully snaked around your waist and pulled you closer to him. You were dizzy but in the best way as your lips pressed kisses to where they could while he continued to feed. Your thighs ached as you felt wetness soak your thin underwear and there was no denying that Jongdae with his vampiric senses would notice and you knew he did the moment, he groaned so loudly you figured the whole house could hear it. He was rock hard beneath you and it was turning you on even more, causing you to attempt to squeeze your thigh together but just squeezing around Jongdae in return. You swore you could cum just from the feeling of his fangs inside you and your core wouldn’t stop tingling. It was the most you had ever felt from a feeding yet and it was driving you crazy. You wanted to rip Jongdae’s clothes off and fighting the urge was getting harder.

Finally, and disappointingly, he pulled away. Groaning and try his best not to thrust his hips up into you. He was dazed when you pulled your face to his so he could kiss you. His tongue immediately shot out to cradle yours and you tasted your blood on him. You couldn’t pinpoint its taste so you made a note to ask Jongdae about it later. You wondered what you tasted like to him.

“Your turn,” he panted when he finally pulled away.

“What?” You asked in a bout of confusion, head fuzzy.

“Please bite me, baby.”

Rolling you over, Jongdae pressed you into the mattress and exposed his neck to you. “Press your fangs into me. I want to feel it, please.”

It didn’t take much more coaxing before you pressed your lips hard against the soft skin of his neck.  

“Bite me,” he commanded with a harsh voice that held no sense of patience.  

You obliged almost as if you were under his spell, biting hard and fast as your fangs sunk into his beautiful skin. You sighed the moment you tasted how bitterly sweet Jongdae was. Jongdae couldn’t hold back the urge to moan your name or maybe you thought, he didn’t try to hold it. Surely you loved when he called you love or his Primrose admittedly, but you really loved hearing your name on his lips. Especially like this.

It was different than the way anyone had ever said it and it made the sparks that jolted against you when he touched you, ignite you from the inside out. You breathed in heavily, taking in his scent while tasting him and you were sure you could overload just on that. He whined above you, causing your body to convulse in response. He couldn’t hold back from thrusting against you when your tongue brushed against the skin on his neck and immediately, he apologized, his voice thickly laced remorse and arousal in the hardest battle for his sanity. You didn’t need the apology as you tried to roll your hips up towards him, which made his lips let out the prettiest curse you swore you had ever heard.  

It took every fiber of your vampiric - and left over human being to try to stop yourself. There wasn’t much of a reason behind the impulse to stop but even if the blood sharing drove you to lust, you decided that when you would be intimate with Jongdae again, at least for the first time, you didn’t want blood to play a factor. Things may have started with blood but that didn’t mean it had to revolve around it. You wanted to desperately love Jongdae as humanly as you could and since you never got to fall in love with him as a human, you still wanted to experience it the best you could.

You couldn’t forsake being a vampire but that didn’t mean you had to forsake the human parts of you that still existed. The human parts of you that just wanted to fall in love purely.  

Maybe it’s because you worried the vampire part of you was all that fell in love with Yixing… or maybe that was your human part. You weren’t sure of much anymore.  

You were just sure that you wanted to remember what being human was like and that was enough to help you move away even though Jongdae’s blood was urging you to continue.  

Pulling away with a heavy gasp for air, you met Jongdae’s eyes. For a moment, he was covered in a dazed expression but as it faded, he smiled at you and then pressed a gentle kiss to your lips.  

“What are you smiling about?” you said narrowing your gaze but not being able to hide the smile that grew over your blood stained lips the Jongdae proceeded to wipe with his thumb.  

“The amount of control you instill in me,” he looked off into the distance for a moment before looking back over at you, “I know that I didn’t have control when we met, but I’m learning now…” he trailed off and sorrow passed over his face, “I’m sorry about that by the way.”

You hummed, “For turning me?”

He simply nodded and bit his bottom lip with his still extended fangs.  

“Yeah. I wonder how different things would be if I were still human.”

“Do you miss it?” he asked in a near whisper.

Pursing your lips, you shrugged. “I know I did at first but I’m not exactly sure why. Why was I so obsessed with being human? Humanity is what killed my parents after all and the more time that passes, the more I’m okay with it, I guess. The blood part and mate, still hard to adapt to but I mean, you felt for the place on your hip, “I guess this is what was meant for me.”

His eyes darted down to your hip where the amethyst sparrow that neither of you wanted to physically see in the moment was. It was too hard to see the deep shade of purple it had become over the past two years. “I’ve always wondered about that, you know? Like why was a human my soulmate? I’ve tried to do my research but Minseok is the one who has the time to knowledge base to find out more. We have met several vampire mate pairs, all of which natural born vampires but it’s not like any of us have met our mates yet so maybe we’re different or maybe you’re different?” He pondered for a moment before slipping off of you and sliding down next to you, pulling you into his chest without any sort of protests from you. “Are you sure your parents were both human?”

Furrowing your brows, you stared up at what you could see of his face, “I don’t know much about vampires but I know enough that inter-species can’t conceive together.”

“It’s not heard of but neither was a vampire and human mate pair.”

You let out a shaky sigh, “To find out about why we exist like this, I think we'd have to look into my parents life and death and I don’t know that I want to do that. I’m sure though, maybe it would help. Maybe something is different and that’s why… that’s why…” you shivered. “I mated with Yixing too.”

You felt Jongdae tense for a moment. “Yes. Maybe it has to do with that.”

And then a light came on as you pulled away from Jongdae, nearly jolting out of bed, “Maybe we can find out and stop Yixing from doing something stupid. Maybe we can break whatever this is, without hurting each other and figure out what to do and if Yixing has another mate? Maybe I’m a glitch and something screwed up Yixing because of me.” You were up and pacing the floor of Jongdae’s room, continuously sticking your finger in the air as more came to you.

Jongdae smiled, coming to meet you and grab your hands, “You said you’re a glitch and screwed up Yixing.”

You raised a brow, “And?”

“You didn’t say anything about me.”

Your eyes narrowed, “Jongdae?”

He let out a sigh Of relief, “You don’t think we’re a glitch or a mistake.”

Laughing, you squeezed his hands, “Of course not.”

He nodded and you realized what he was getting at. He pressed an excited kiss to your lips, “I’m not worried about you and him anymore. You love me. I can feel it. You believe this is as real as I do now.” And you knew he could feel it because having a mate made you sense things about them and it made your heart flutter because it was true. You loved him and believed things with him were meant to be. You believed that this was your fate and that somewhere Yixing got mixed up in the mess.  

But like you could sense and feel Jongdae’s feelings, you could feel Yixing's because you had definitely mated with him in a mix-up and you started to feel pain. You pushed it back the best you could though, because Jongdae was happy and you wanted him to continue to be happy.

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽ 

The next time you saw Yixing, things felt different. Your counted every step as your heels hit the ground and your hands shook nervously – those were all normal things. Seeing him made you nervous because he had been rejecting you so harshly since you came home. What was different was the air. Everything felt much more heavy but you stupidly decided to ignore it, and well, you ignored it for a long while.

Your fist raised midair to knock but you were surprised when the door opened and you were met with Yixing. He looked rough but you tried not to meet his eyes as you held the thermos with the least amount of skin that you could, barely any tips of your fingers touching the steel.  

His eyes shot down to the thermos and you extended it further out to him. “I’ll just go as soon as you take it.” You knew you wouldn’t be able to give him much time to heal if you did but what else could you do? Could you fight him every time he forced you to go? No, you couldn’t and you wouldn’t.  You were doing your best and while you had caused this chain of events, you were trying to make things better. You couldn’t continue to live in the past where you made mistakes because it you did, you would never live forward.  

“You don’t have to go yet,” he replied softly. “Stay a moment.” He grabbed the thermos from you and gestured for you to come inside, making you flinch in the process.  

Frozen, you finally caught his eyes. The bags were accented with deep purples as Yixing hadn’t got to heal the way he should since he wished you away before you so much as said a single word.  

Slowly after he walked inside, you followed after him.  

For a moment, he smiled. It wasn’t enough for the dimples in his cheeks to show but it was enough to give your twisted stomach a glimmer of hope in the dark tunnel you felt sucked into.  

“I want to say I really appreciate you bringing me blood so often,” he said as the two of you stood in his living room. “It’s been really helpful.”

You nodded slowly, “That’s kind of my job…” you trailed off shifting your weight from one foot to another. Out of the corner of your eye, you watched Yixing drink down the thermos gratefully. Your stomach continued to twist as he finished off what was left of your blood and the silence feel over you like a drawn curtain.  

He let out a sigh of relief, “I’m sorry.”

Your gaze shot over to him, “What did you say?” you squinted in his direction as if he was the bright sun beaming down on you.  

“I’m sorry.”

“Okay? Is this a general apology? I’m confused.”

He smiled, almost as if he was peaceful, “Don’t be. I’m sorry for everything. Past, present, future.” The last word coming out slowly.

You nodded once and then twice. “I’m sorry as well.”

But the conversation stopped there because that’s all he needed to hear before enveloping you in a hair raising hug.  His scent was the same as it always was and it made your heart race. You didn’t feel at peace in his arms the way you made have in the past but you still felt all of Yixing's emotions and you were sure he felt all of your conflicting ones. Love, regret, pain, sorrow, forgiveness. You weren’t sure what was the strongest emotion of his but you knew that yours was sorrow. Sorrow because you couldn’t love him enough. Sorrow that you hadn’t yet figured out what was going on and how to fix Yixing but you didn’t miss the small portion of you that held hope. Hope that fixing Yixing would be quick because you didn’t want him to hurt anymore and you didn’t want to either.  

When he pulled away, you watched as his brows furrowed and furrowed a couple times before he held your gaze tightly. “I really really loved you.”

You wanted to ask why it was past tense but you figured that it was best to leave that hanging in the sky with the rest of the questions you never had the courage to ask.

And then he leaned in and you felt all the breath in your lungs escape.  

Yixing was trying to kiss you.

You sucked air back in, in a quick huff. “Yixing,” you said gently before turning away from him.  

Disappointment was the next emotion you felt and then after several seconds, relief. His lips pressed firmly against your cheek after what you were sure was internal debate.  

“That helps,” he said to himself.  

When he backed away from you, you felt like your heart was going to leap from your chest. Your palm pressed against it. “What helps?” you asked.  

He just nodded and you wondered just what the fuck had come over Yixing.  

When you looked at him, he looked nearly better. Almost perfectly well but behind the health and the smile he portrayed, you knew that he was nervous and it made you nervous.  

“I should get going,” you said before he could force you out.  

And with one last look at exasperated but smiling Yixing, you turned on your heels and hurried away from his apartment.  

Suddenly, you didn’t want to see him any time soon.  

The kiss had left you feeling weird and you thanked every single fiber in your body that you turned away because you could never forgive yourself if you let him kiss you in any other way than what he did. You could never face Jongdae if you broke the trust you just gained.  

Sighing, you went home and prepared for your trip as your stomach gurgled nervously.  

A storm was coming.

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽ 

You saw your sister for the first time in what seemed like forever and you couldn’t help but run towards her, arms outstretched as you left Jongdae behind, carrying your bags and letting out a small laugh.  

She hugged you tightly as she pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek in the same place Yixing had.  

You guys had never been incredibly close but it didn’t matter anymore. Nothing she had ever done mattered because even though she was broken and you had a broken relationship then, it was now and now you truly had an idea of how important family was.  

Looking over your shoulder, you knew she had caught the glance of Jongdae the boy she hadn’t heard much about but somehow she called out his name and both of you looked at her in surprise. You pulled back from her as she regarded him with eyes you could only explain as those of a mother who just saw her first grandchild.

Jongdae outstretched a hand to your sister, shaking it firmly and giving her a wicked happy smile. “I’m Jongdae, Y/N's-"

“Mate,” she finished for him.  

Your hand clasped over your mouth before you froze, looking at Jongdae in worry.  

“I know about the two of you. I know what you are,” she rolled her neck around, “I have hunter blood after all.” She said as if it was supposed to mean something.  

Jongdae let out a shaky sigh, “You’re a hunter?” he looked back at you in fear, grabbing you and bringing you close to his side.  

She scoffed, “Hunter blood, Jongdae. Not a hunter. Let’s go sit down and have a chat,” she urged as she led the way out of the airport.  

Jongdae wrapped an arm around you tightly and followed your sister, “I have no idea what’s going on.” He answered the questioned you hadn’t even managed to get out.  

“How does my sister know what we are? What does she mean hunter blood Jongdae?”

“Vampire hunters are real, Y/N but it’s not a choice, it’s something your born as. Almost not human although they are exactly that. The difference is strength and the intense desire and willpower to kill us.”

You had so many questions but Jongdae shushed you before you could ask anymore.  

It was silent the whole ride until you arrived at your sister’s house. It was surprisingly extravagant for her and you wondered who she had hooked around her pinky to get that kind of hookup. You immediately cursed the thought though, you needed to stop so harshly judging your sister.

She had you guys sit across from her on her couch as she sat in an armchair, crossing her long legs over each other. “I’m sure you have a lot of questions.”

“Are you intending any harm on her?” Jongdae asked curtly.  

Your sister huffed, “She’s my sister. Whether we are half blood or not, she’s my sister. We have the same blood regardless – yes, hunter blood.”

“I don’t understand,” Jongdae said.  

You rubbed your eyes a couple of times, not understanding anything that had even transpired since after you hugged your sister in the airport.  

“I guess I should start from the beginning,” she let out a sigh, “I’m sorry we have to relive their death for a moment, sis. Settle in,” she gestured to the two of you who were practically on the edges of your seats, “this may be a bit of a story.”

You braced yourself.  

“We will start back with our lineage. We come from a long standing line of some of the most successful Hunters, which oddly enough was our birth last names. I was born six years before my sister to our mother and my father. Our mother had long forsaken the hunter life years before I was born after meeting a Lord vampire. I’m not exactly sure how they became close but they did and somehow even though our mother loved him, she still married a Hunter who actively was hunting when she got pregnant. Unknown to her, of course. He tricked her. Pretended to be different to get close to her for the Lord vampire but well, this Lord was strong and when I was two, my father was killed by him. From there, our mother had become closer to the Lord that had killed our father. Even though he killed the father of her child, she loved him. To her, it was a service since she didn’t want the Hunter life and it was all my father wanted. It was easy to say she was in love with the Lord but yet, three years later she was pregnant with my Uncles baby. The man who looked just like my father but was sweet as any person could ever be. He didn’t want to hunt and even he, became somewhat of a companion to the Lord vampire. The defied odds and were probably the first Hunter-Vampire friends to exist. They were like closer than blood could ever make someone. They were closer to the Lord than they had been to each other, sadly enough.

I don’t think our parents ever fell in love and their relationship was more of one of convenience because our mother loved the vampire. It would have been easy for them just to be together, our mother and the Lord, you may think,” but she looked at Jongdae, “I’m sure you know that they in fact, could not. A Lord doesn’t have to be alone but a Lord cannot be with a hunter. It would only kill our mother if they tried to live in their love,” when the two of you flinched your sister nodded, “it was tragic for our mother either way. So she decided to do they only thing she could to make her happy and that was be a mother. Which is where you came along of course. The Lord was around the be a father, the way he probably always dreamed of being.

“It was when a group of hunters tried to kill us when I was ten and you were four, that our parents struck a deal with the Lord - something he wasn’t happy to do because he fell in love with our mom just as hard as she fell in love with him – but he agreed. He would give us a vampire mark to protect us. The mark had a few purposes, firstly when put on a human, hunters couldn’t see them, secondly, eternal life and thirdly, freedom for the generations to come from the burden of being a hunter because the mark would cause us to turn into a vampire and that would override the Hunter blood.  

“Not all vampires are out to kill humanity and it’s more rare these days than ever but yet, all hunters are out to kill vampires and any outcast hunter to exist. Since our parents were outcasted so were we and it was basically like a bounty on our heads. The mark alone would erase the bounty and mask us since we would not be human or Hunter but in the weird place that is ‘marked’. But there was a price; our parents had to give their lives for it. The Lord vampire was strong and only the strongest can give a soulmate mark to humans, let alone those with hunter blood, but to do so, he’d have to have blood for it. A life for a new life. He couldn’t lose our mother instantly though so he was able to extend their time for a decade before they would die from an accident and in turn, he got one more decade with our mother. He loved her enough to take her life to save something she loved more than herself. He loved her enough to be in a weak state for a decade to hold onto the thin strings of our parents lives.  

“He never had a mate, as a Lord vampire they aren’t like other vampires. He couldn’t bear children and he was subjected to a lifetime of loneliness no matter how powerful he is. Lord vampires are born randomly and I guess in some situations created but I don’t know much about that part. But again, they have no soulmate mark and no soulmate. They can fall in love, as this one did, but he couldn’t turn our mother because they don’t have that ability. Their powers are used entirely differently - geared more towards protecting humanity and vampires. One of the only things stopping him from turning our mother was us and they didn’t fall in love till it was too late and her life couldn’t be spared. Even if it could, she was a hunter and this was the only way things could end. He would have to get another vampire to turn her and that was basically giving her a death sentence himself. So he went the least painful route. One day, I hope I can meet him again so I can thank him. He loved her and he saved us. I’m forever in debt.”

“Did I cover everything?” she asked.  

It was silence for several minutes as you guys tried to absorb everything she said.  

“Mom and dad didn’t die in an accident,” you swallowed.  

Your sister bit her lip, “They did. It just wasn’t what it seemed. It was fated that way. They did it for us.”

“Why didn’t you tell me all of this? Why didn’t mom? Why the hell am I finding out this late?”

“You were too young and I wanted to hide you from the truth as long as I could. You were safer that way. Not just that but I wanted you to be as normal as you could, while you could. But here you are, mated to two vampires.”

Jongdae wove his fingers through yours as your hands shook nervously, “You know about that?” he asked.

She nodded, “I haven’t been mated so my hunter blood is stronger the older I grow. When I mate, it will fade out with my human body but until then, I can read you like a large print open book.”

“Do you know how to fix it?” you asked shakily.

Your sister hummed, “Fix what part?”

“Me being mated to two different people.”

Her fingers tapped anxiously on one of her knees, “I don’t quite have the answer for that but I’m trying. It was obviously not supposed to happen. The problem is, your other mate probably doesn’t have a mate yet and you were accidentally somehow made one third his. Obviously, Jongdae is the one who is your mate and this Yixing wasn’t supposed to be but Lord vampire seemed to have slipped a bit when it came to you. Vampires are born with a soulmate mark but their soulmate is almost like randomly generated and can take centuries to come around. Either he did it on purpose or he slipped up from having a broken heart and distorted mind. Nonetheless, I know there is a way to seemingly reset Yixing where he keeps his mark but you guys lose your ties and yours goes back to normal. I think we have to find the Lord that did this though. They have the power to do something like this which is useful if a mate dies or the mate rejects the relationship, that kind of thing.”

“How do you know more about this than I do? Jongdae asked.  

She shrugged, “You’ve had my sister for a while. I’ve had to do research. I’ve met some interesting people, lots of outcasts who had experience in the field before going rouge. I know one who may even be able to find us the Lord who bestowed this upon us.”

“How soon could we find him?”

Your sister looked at you tenderly and you realized how differently she looked in this light. You realized how smart and thoughtful she was. There were sides you never experienced with her and maybe it was because you weren’t seeing it. All the times you thought she just wanted to sleep around you came to the conclusion that maybe she was trying to find her mate or maybe she was trying to numb her mind from the burden of all the knowledge she had to carry. You made a mental note to apologize when you had a moment alone with her. “Maybe a couple days if we’re lucky. But it could also take years. Decades even because I have no idea where he is.”

“We don’t have decades. Yixing is going to try to off himself if we don’t get a fix. He can’t bare it much longer. I can feel it. Please, sis. Please help us find him as soon as you can.”

She nodded, “I’m your sister after all. I’m not going to let you suffer and I won’t let someone you love suffer. We are already working on it.”

“Thank you,” Jongdae started, “Thank you for finding everything out and telling us all of this. I had no idea. I don’t even think I’ve met a Lord vampire before much less knew they had the power to make a mate from a human… and a hunter at that.”

She smiled, “Our moms lover really was powerful.”

“What’s your soulmate mark? I’ve never even seen it before…” you asked. “All of these years and I thought I was just weird for my tattoo looking birth mark.”

Jongdae gave you a look, “I haven’t had to explain this to you but that’s actually a really personal question to ask. You shouldn’t really.”

Your sister shrugged, “My baby sis is really nosey,” her nose scrunched as she smiled, “Let’s get you and Yixing some help and then I’ll show you, how does that work for you?”

You agreed.

Lying in bed with Jongdae that night, you were overwhelmed. He held you tightly as you tried your best to process everything all over again.  

“My mom was in love with a Lord Vampire,” and you let out a small laugh, “What are the chances?”

Jongdae kissed your forehead, “Considering we’re here, I’d say pretty good.”

“The boys will never believe this. I can’t believe this.” You laughed again, “I can’t believe I blamed you. This was all set in motion by someone else.”

He kissed you again, this time going for your lips, “I can’t believe any of it either but I’m thankful. Your mother was selfless and I’m disappointed I could never meet her or get your father’s approval.”

“You would have gotten his approval, clearly,” you smiled. “I’m really lucky that it’s you. I’m also really reassured you’re my true mate.”

His eyes searched your face, “No disappointment that the thing with Yixing is just an accident? Aren’t you disappointed that it’s not real?”

You shook your head, “No disappointment, just relief. I think though, I’m still trying to figure out what made me love him. Was it the accidental mating or was it just us?” you sighed, realizing it was not normal to talk to your mate about loving another man.  

But Jondage nodded, not offended that you clearly still harbored some feelings for Yixing. “I think it’s okay if it’s not because the mating. It’s something pure and innocent. After everything, I’m not threatened by it anymore. Feelings are just feelings and if there is no action behind them, we are okay. I don’t think it means you love me any less. Sometimes life just tests us and maybe love can be apart of that. At the end of the day as long as you aren’t disloyal to me, is developing feelings really hurtful? Humans attach easily and after all, you were born one.” He shrugged.

You hugged him tightly, “I’ve never much have loved one man, let alone two so forgive me if I’m not good at this.”

Jongdae laughed and ruffled your hair, “I think you’re doing well, considering. Yixing on the other hand…”

“Speaking of… last time I saw him, he was weird, Jongdae. I’m a little worried. He welcomed me, thanked me, and then tried to kiss me. Which I deflected by the way. The most action he got was my cheek, just so we are clear.  But it all was startling and a stark difference between who he’s been lately.”

He smiled, “I know he tried. I could smell him but I knew he hadn’t actually been able to kiss you and while it’s unfortunate for him, I’m glad. My trust in you was obviously rightfully placed. Did you want to kiss him?”

You shook your head, “Not even a bit. Not that he repulses me but it’s like my body knows and my heart knows that even if I love him, that I’m all in this for you. I don’t want to kiss him and ruin anything with us. It would only cause me pain for hurting you and I’d get nothing else from it.”

“Good,” and he kissed you again.  

“But Jongdae,” you pushed him away, “he was being really unlike himself. Seriously, something feels off.”

But he shrugged if off, “My love, maybe he was just needing to heal or to test the waters. He needed to see what level you guys were at. What else could it be?”

You weren’t sure and that’s what scared you the most.

And then, you woke up in a puddle of blood and that scared you more.  

Jongdae smelled it before you could wake him and jolted up. Blood coated the sheets underneath you and it was beginning to drip down onto the floor. Jongdae panicked, nearly screaming as he rushed to your aid. You were dizzy and sure that this was more blood than you had ever let anyone take or drink from you. In moments, Jongdae had you rid of your clothes to see where the blood was coming from and much to your surprise and yet, not surprise at all, your soulmate mark was marred.  

The pain was excruciating and the smell of your own blood was starting to make you nauseous. Jongdae was shaking as he bit into his own wrist and put it to your mouth, urging you to drink without trying to jostle you around too much.  

The bleeding didn’t stop though.  

Your sister burst into the room, fear heavy on her face as she saw the scene in front of her. She whaled loudly and Jongdae looked at her for help.  

“She’s losing too much blood Jongdae.”

“She’s not human though, this can’t hurt her,” he nearly screamed.  

She shook her head, “It’s killing her. We have to do something. We need the healer. He’s the only one strong enough.”

Jongdae's hands were covered in blood and you tried to hold onto consciousness as you watched him smear the blood on his phone as he called Yixing. If he had the energy to be prideful, he may protest that he was enough to heal you but pride was the last thing on his mind. He called hundreds of times, he swore but the phone continued to go to voicemail. The last time, Jongdae nearly smashed his phone and you barely had the energy to stop him.  

“He did this,” your sister whispered as her hands combed through your hair. “He removed the mark.”

“He what?” Jongdae screeched.  

You gasped with every bit of fight you had left as your sisters face grew red with anger, “He removed it. Yixing must have trusted someone to remove it in hope it would break their bond but all it will do is kill her. He will come out alive and she will die. That’s why you don’t just remove the skin. It’s like he sent an assassin for her.”

“She can’t die though! I’m the only way she could die.”

Your sister shook her head solemnly, “This could kill her. Not because he’s her mate but because he is removing part of her being from existence. He has one third of her, that third being his mark and that piece of her can only be retrieved by a Lord. If he doesn’t heal her, she will die. And well, honestly, even then Jongdae, she might not make it. We aren’t talking just a wound. Part of her soul is being ripped away.”

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽

"She's fucking dying! She's dying because you went behind our backs and did something fucking stupid."

Luhan scoffed, "She will be fine. They aren't truly mates so she will live, Minseok." Minseok threw his hands in the air. Luhan had no idea because none of them knew anything about this, which is why, Minseok wanted to insist into their thick skulls, why they didn’t do anything if they had any doubt.  

"She's bleeding out, vampires don't bleed out in case you didn't know. A third of her is attached to Yixing and it's a long fucking story but you need to wake him up now because we can all feel her life hanging in the balance."

"He chose this,” Luhan put simply as it seemed the complexity of the situation wasn’t touching his head.

"And he wouldn't have if he knew it would kill her for crying out loud. Wake him up! He will go on a rampage if she dies and so will Jongdae and none of us want that. Bond or not, he loves her and we all fucking know it."

"Even if I wanted to, I can't wake him up."

"Let me see him," Minseok roared. Behind him, Junmyeon grabbed his shoulder firmly but he knew he was just as afraid as Minseok was.

They couldn't lose one, let alone two brothers if something happened to you. Not only that, you were apart of them now and they all cherished you like family. Even Baekhyun who was teleporting with Jongin to try to save you the best they could.

Yixing was unconscious, as expected. His skin was pale and he was hooked up to an IV drip that contained blood. Minseok rolled his eyes, nothing would help him heal the way you did. Pulling up Yixing’s shirt, Minseok flinched when he saw the mismatched skin where Yixings mark once was. They had grafted skin from his thigh and replaced the skin on his hip. Minseok couldn't imagine the pain it must have been. Or the pain that unsuspecting you were in.  

Junmyeon paced, "He's the doctor. He's the healer. What the fuck are we supposed to do?" Junmeyon was concered and it was showing through his furrowed brows and anxious eyes. Some of them had basic first aid but it wasn’t like they had the power Yixing did.

And then Junmyeon snapped his fingers.  

"We have some of her blood left, what do you think the chances are it will still work? That it could heal him enough for him to wake up and be able to help her?" Hope spread through his eyes, coating the broken vessels in them with white.

Minseok covered Yixing's soulmate mark back up, "I'm not sure we have much chance at all either way. Regardless, it's worth the shot. Call Kyungsoo and have him bring it over."

Junmyeon went to go do so as Minseok sat down next to Yixing, grabbing his hand firmly. "Oh brother. What have you done to yourself? Love doesn't have to be this painful." But he knew it was. Minseok had suffered once before but he would have never gone to such extremes. Minseok sighed. Yixing must have loved you more than any of them realized.

Minseok had fallen in love before but he had kept that story to himself. It was private - the love he had formed for a vampire girl that wasn't his mate and also wanted nothing to do with him.  

Unrequited love hurt more than anything Minseok thought so if this is what Yixing did with requited love, Minseok was worried for his brother. What would he do when he woke up and still loved you? But Minseok knew it wasn’t fully unrequited. He knew you really loved his brother even if you had hurt him, all of the boys were coming to the final consensus that none of it was your fault.

 You had been smart even if you had hurt Yixing. You told him to give you time to figure something out and as if you knew there was an solution, you had one before the thirty days you asked for were gone.  

Yixing couldn't bare it though and instead of telling anyone, he went to their cousins who had a brood of human turned vampires who weren't nearly as experienced as they were. Yixing couldn’t even wait thirty days. He wondered maybe if that was Yixing's final ‘fuck you' to you but then again, that wouldn’t be very fitting of his brother.  

Minseok sighed, why wouldn't Yixing be more honest with his suffering? And why didn't he think more before acting? Why wouldn’t he give you more time?

Maybe it had been too long since Minseok was actually in love. Maybe Minseok had no idea the effect love would actually have.  

  It didn’t take long for Kyungsoo and Chanyeol to make it back with your blood and Minseok could see the cackling fire that was ignited in the dark eyes of Chanyeol.

"I should fucking kill you," Chanyeol growled. "You wouldn't be too hard to get rid off."

 "It's not worth it," Minseok heard Kyungsoo hiss at him.  

Minseok clapped a hand over the shoulder of a tensed Chanyeol and he shot a gaze to the apathetic Kyungsoo. Across Kyungsoo's chest was the strap to a small rectangular cooler that had the remnants of your blood they had stored for an emergency - your idea, not theirs. A smart idea at that Minseok had nodded to himself.

 "Now is not the time for a fight," Junmyeon stepped back into the room. "We can deal with this once they're both okay."

 Chanyeol grunted, "As soon as he's better we need to bring him home. I can't stand to be in this house with, him." So yes, they may have been family but they definitely hadn’t gotten along in a while and for various reasons – Chanyeol and Yifan being at each others throats for something they never wanted to share.  

 "Are you guys that weak?" Yifan jeered from outside the room.  

 Junmyeon latched onto Chanyeol, "Not the time or place."

 "We were trying to help," Luhan insisted. "He wanted to escape from this. What else could I have done?"

 Minseok glared at him, "Come to us first."

Kyungsoo had the most medical experience beside the rest of the boys so he set up, ripping the old iv bag away from Yixing and setting up another one filled with your much brighter blood.  

 Yixing didn't move but when the blood started to flow into the iv, they thought they heard the smallest gasp come from Yixing.  

He didn’t respond even when they thought they heard something come from him so they continued to wait. Their brother would respond. He would wake up and face them, maybe not as the same man, but he still would live. Your blood was going to heal Yixing and while they needed it to, it made them all flinch because they knew that the agony was not yet to end any time soon. This agony would last forever.

Although, it wasn't that easy.  

A soulmate mark was only half of it. Feelings and care was the other half. They could exist alone because the soulmate mark didn't force you to fall in love. It was a bond that drew you together, but the rest of the work was done by the couple.  

 You hadn't loved Yixing because of the mark and he hadn't loved you because of it.  

 The color to his face started to come back and several sighs of relief sounded.

Minseok ached for his brother. The fact that you still had the power to heal him was going to weigh heavy on all of them.  

"How long would it take you to figure out not just any blood would do to heal him?" Chanyeol spat.  

Luhan looked down at his feet, "I had just thought if it was removed, that he wouldn't need that part of her anymore."

Kyungsoo let out a scoff and kept his eyes away from the others.  

"No. All you were doing was wiping her from her existence, not his," Junmyeon replied.  

Luhan crossed his arms over his chest, “But it doesn’t make sense. Isn’t the soulmate mark what binds them?”

“I’m pretty sure it takes more than that to sever everything on Yixing’s end. I’m also sure, their relationship will be all that much more painful so thanks, dick,” Chanyeol grunted.  

And then, Yixing seemingly came back to life. Before he moved, his eyes shot open and Kyungsoo was the first to react, jumping away and covering his mouth before trying to regain his composure.  

Yixing's eyes were the shade of molten amethyst.  

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽

You were barely breathing and your sister assured Jongdae that as long as you continued to replenish your blood with his, they could keep you stable till help arrived.  

She didn’t know if that was true or not but the more she said it out loud, the more real it sounded.  

They did their best to cover the bleeding but no matter how many times they changed the bandage, you still bleed through. They couldn’t contain it.

Jongdae was seconds from a full breakdown when your sister pulled the attention away from your purpling body. “So my soulmate mark,” she hadn’t wanted to reveal herself because it was personal but she had to take his mind off of things and this was all she had.  

She had to take her mind off of her dying sister – the sister her mother died to protect.

Tugging at her sleeve, she pulled her shirt down revealing the black inked mark. It was hard to pinpoint the design. It wasn’t simple like yours and his but it was bold dots, and fierce stripes that wrapped around her shoulder.  

And he had seen it before.  

The breathe caught in his throat, “What are the chances of both of you…?” He trailed off. “You knew didn’t you?”

“That you’ve seen this before?”

He nodded.  

She nodded back, “Yes. I’m not like my baby sister though”, she gestured to the girl grasping for life. “I’m a lot more fearful when it comes to my own life. I’ve spent all this time obsessed with hers and protecting her that I’m not sure how to deal with my own shit.”

Jongdae bit into his wrist when a timer went off and placed it back against your lips for your regular feeding that they had been doing every twenty minutes, “Wait, did you know she would meet me that night?”

“I’ve got the blood of a Hunter, so yes. I didn’t know that my own mate would be so close but then again, it wasn’t my top concern. I just needed her to be safe. The hunters were getting close to us and while I knew they couldn’t see us, I also didn’t know a lot.”

The conversation cut to a halt when you started to convulse and shake.  

“She doesn’t have much time,” Jongdae said with a quiver as he felt your slowly heart bear. He felt you slipping away and it shook around his bones.

And then you stopped breathing all together. Jongdae’s ears started ringing and he started to get excruciating pain in his chest. His free hand grasped his chest as the other one cradled you to him.  

“And neither do you,” your sister said as she looked at Jongdae in fear. “Hold on tight, Jongdae. Please.”  

Giving one last look to you, she let out a shaky breath and hurried away. She hoped that you and Jongdae could hold on long enough for her to get some help but she knew it wasn’t promising.  

She just hoped that her last moment looking at you, wasn’t now. You were all she had left and you had kept her going for so long that you couldn’t leave now.  

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽

Yixing was sitting up, in a cold sweat after several moments. He was confused what was going on and why his brothers were surrounding him at Luhan’s family home. He took a shaky breath, his eyes searching the room several times over.  

“We don’t have time to figure any of this out,” Junmyeon spat to everyone around him that was whispering about his purple eyes. “Yixing we have to go.”

Kyungsoo started to pull the iv from Yixing when Yixing looked at Junmyeon with a confused and dazed look.  

“What’s going on?”

“It’s Y/N. She’s dying Yixing.”

And with more strength than anyone thought he had, he pushed Kyungsoo away, detached the IV and nearly roared. To everyone around, his strength surpassed what his body showed.  

“Where is she?” his heart sunk when he reached out for her emotions and felt nothing. It was blank and it made him want to fucking hurt someone. As her mate, he was able to feel her if he just reached outside of his own head but now, without the mark, their mating bonds were severed. Not just that but brutally severed. This was the most unconventional and painful way to severe ties but it wasn’t supposed to kill her. That’s not what he had seen in his research.  

He was supposed to stop caring too but yet, in that moment, he realized how much he really did care. How much he still loved you even though his sparrow was gone.  

Nothing had gone as planned. His soul felt dead without you and he was sure, angry tears found their ways out of the corners of his eyes.  

Yixing wasn’t even sure he was going to be able to save you or how he could fix everything he had done but his mark was gone and if that’s what was going to kill you, how could he stop it?

How could he help if he couldn’t even feel you?  

How could he help when he was killing you?

“Where is she?” Yixing cried, “I can’t sense her.”

Jongin appeared in a ripple in the room with Sehun and Baekhyun in tow, the two of them dazed and holding onto each other.  

The brothers looked at Yixing, some spiteful and some with eyes heavy of regret. Junmyeon nodded to Jongin. “Sehun was able to locate them perfectly,” he said. “Jongin will take you, Yixing.”

When Yixing was transported away by Jongin, Chanyeol grabbed Luhan by his shirt, “I will fucking kill you if something happens to them.”

But nobody stopped him from the threat because they were all scared what would happen if you died. Not only would they lose you, a part of their family and their blood now, but they would lose two brothers.

Although, the majority ruled that most of them assumed they had already lost one in Yixing.

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽

They appeared like a wavering wave length in space and your sister, taped her foot impatiently, until her eyes met Yixing's. “You’re a fucking lord?”

Yixing ignored her, not quite understanding before he searched for your body. His hand grasped against his chest, nails sinking into his skin through the fabric of his shirt. He felt nothing but agony and heart break when he saw your lifeless body. Jongdae was still unresponsive, his hands slack around you. His hands worked before he could even think, as he tried to get you some of his blood.  

“I doubt that will work,” your sister said as Jongin paced nervously behind him, continuously glancing at Jongdae.”

It didn’t.  

It worked for Yixing but then again, he wasn’t the one dying.

Yixing was crying.  

He was crying so hard that his tears had turned to pure dark blood.  

When that didn’t work, he pulled every fragment of energy he had to prepare to heal you.  

“Yixing, I need you to save my sister,” she said, “if you need my blood, please just take it.”

Jongin gave her a dark look, before pushing her gently away and giving his wrist to his brother. “This will be fucking weird but just do it. I need them to heal.”

Your sister glared at Jongin for his sacrifice and it made her heart flutter that he truly cared for you so much. Sure, maybe it was mostly caring for Jongdae but part of your sister knew that they cared for you too.  

Not only had your mother saved you but she had given you a family after losing your own.  

Yixing wasn’t as strong as he needed to be, and he needed to save you so there was no hesitation when it came to feeding from Jongin.  

He didn’t even care if it was weird. He was too focused on you. The love of his life. The only love he swore he’d ever have.

Jongin bit down on his fist, muffling a scream. He released it for a moment, face red and heavy breathing, “Why the fuck does it hurt?” when Yixing had started to draw blood from him. “I thought this was euphoric,” he complained.  

“Jongin, what about you?” your sister asked interrupting his cursing.

Jongin's paling face had furrowed brows, “What about me?”  

She grunted. “He’s a lord, and he’s going to pull too much fucking blood from you.”

“And what if it was you?” he grunted back.  

Throwing her hands into the air, she shrugged, “It doesn’t matter, I’d die for her.”

“I'm not letting that happen.”

She cries out and fell to the ground as she tried to gather her emotions. She was in a room of dying people and nearly all of them were her family in some way.  

Where was he? Where was the man that saved them? Where was her mothers true love?

She heard Yixing take in a deep breath and her head shot up, with tear stained cheeks, she saw Jongin struggling to breath, coaxing his wrist to close up as one of his hands rested on Jongdae.  

Yixing was whispering under his breath as he draped his hands over your body. He held back the tears so he wouldn’t lose the energy he had taken from Jongin. He concentrated, long and hard. His eyes were tightly closed and sweat beaded all over his body.

Your sister was frantic, hovering over Jongin as she prayed for Yixing to save you.  

“Please, help us, please,” she cried as she pushed hair from Jongin's sweat covered forehead. He barely even knew she was so close to him, that’s how out of touch he was. “Please.”

Yixing wasn’t strong enough so when praying for him didn’t work, she begged her mothers lover. She begged him to save her one last time. She couldn’t even worry about how selfish it was to expect the man who had lost your mother to come back and save the day again.

She thought of all the love her mother must of felt in all of the love she felt you feel for Jongdae.  

And for a moment, she felt like something had tore threw her mind. She yelped out in pain, causing Yixing to lose concentration and for Jongin to come to, grasping her wrist as she weakened and fell unconscious.

Yixing swore but put his focus back on you before he felt a hand on his shoulder, causing him to jump.  

The man behind him ushered for him to move and when he didn’t, he pushed Yixing roughly to the side.  

“Do you want your woman saved or not?” he hissed.

“How are you going to help?” Yixing demanded.  

He scoffed as he pushed Jongdae away and laid you out, putting his hands over your soulmate mark. Yixing cringed as the strange man touched you. “You fucking donut, I’m the one that put this here.”

The man’s deep purple eyes were so dark they nearly looked onyx but they glowed too bright to be.  

“I see I’ve made a mess and you made it even worse.”

He breathed deeply a couple of times, as his hands pumped gently against your hips.

“If you could have waited a fucking day longer, I would have been here without making her sister pass out from a headache that could ultimately kill her, you know. I was trying to avoid, hurting them,” he hissed, “And you’ve caused my family pain. So we’re having a talk after this.”

He sighed and Yixing saw your body take a sharp and heavy breath. He reached out towards you and the man smacked his hand, “Uh-uh, leave her be.”

“What… who are you?” Yixing questioned, eyes barely leaving your body.

“Their father.”

Yixing pressed his fingers into his temples, “What?”

Rolling his eyes, he waved Yixing away as he moved to your sister, “It’s a long story. Obviously I didn’t actually father them. I’m a Lord, but I loved their mother and since they are all I have left, I’ve taken to them as if they are mine. But you see, my protection on them was so good that even I couldn’t find them, which is why,” he gestured to your sister, “that I had to hurt her.”

He worked his hands over her a couple of times before her breathing resumed. It didn’t take long before Yixing felt and heard four very shaky intakes of breath from his family.  

“Speaking of, this small boy is going to have to turn her immediately when he heals or the hunters will find and kill her, and if that happens, I’m going to ruin your whole little clan,” the man growled and Yixing could feel the promise dripping from his words.  

“What are you talking about?” Yixing groaned as his head really started to ache.  

The man just sat down in a chair in the corner, “You’ve missed out on many details since you decided to act selfishly and on your own. You need to look in the mirror so you can see what you’ve done to yourself, because you’ve caused yourself a lifetime of harm. You’re really going to hurt because now you’re like me and I’ve spent centuries hurting.” He scoffed at Yixing. “And you won’t stop loving her,” he gestured to you and Yixing's eyes followed his. Yixing sighed in response because even though he had no idea what was going on, he knew that with certainty. Not even losing his soulmate mark had rid you from his heart and it fucking hurt so bad that the bloody tears came back.  

“Get used to them,” the man huffed.  

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽

Your sister woke with a startle, finding herself attached the Jongin. She pulled away quickly, checking him over before she realized his eyes were wide open. She jolted away, and he watched her slowly. “Are you okay?” he said gently

She rubbed her head, feeling the immense pain still engrained in her skull. “I’ll be okay.”

Jongin reached out before pulling back, wondering why he felt the inclination to do so.  

She knew though, and it killed her. You were the priority and she didn’t have time for anything else in between.

She felt the night air coming in through an open window and she wondered how long she had been out for. When she finally looked over to you, you were breathing evenly as Jongdae’s hold was tight around your waist.  

“He said they’re going to be fine,” Yixing whispered as he watched you from across the room.

Your sister stood, shaky and barely able, but she did. Jongin was up with her, attempting to steady her, but he stopped himself. “He?”

Yixing’s mouth formed into an ‘o’. “I forgot you were out during that part, someone – your father was here?” he asked.

But your father was dead and she knew that, and even her dad was long gone so who...?

Your mother. It was your mother’s lover who seemed to be proclaiming himself as your father. She sighed. So he had saved you once again.

It seemed the two of you owed him your lives.

“Where did he go?” she asked as she walked over to you, blood stains covering your delicate body.

Yixing gestured to the doorway with his chin, “He’s just getting a breather. He’s going to be back eventually. He told me to tell you he wasn’t going to leave you guys now that you are safe... well, we have to talk about that.”

“What do you mean?”

Yixing’s eyes wearily grazed over Jongin’s, “He broke your seal in a sense. The hunters will be able to find you because he had to break the protection he had on you to find you. When you called out for him, he heard you and while he was already on his way, he knew it was life or death. So, he broke the seal. You still have your soulmate mark, but now you’re vulnerable. I don’t know much honestly, I just know... you have to be turned in the matter of hours or you will be dead.”

Your sister closed her eyes tightly and cursed, sure she had waited for this for a long time but she was scared. She was scared of commitment because of the man her father truly was. The monster who betrayed their mother and tried to kill her best friend and the later love of her life.

She portrayed herself as someone who only partied to her baby sister because she was trying to hide her pain. She found herself caught up with men who only wanted sex so she didn’t have to deal with the pain of betrayal but, in all of that she was betraying herself. She needed to be loved and the idea of having a mate, scared her.

He wouldn’t hurt her, she knew but there was just so much going on that she felt like she didn’t have a grasp of herself anymore.

She looked over at her baby sister and wondered how you had been strong for so long. You had endured the pain of a love triangle and she was scared to have even one love.

“I’m involved, aren’t I?” he asked her, not looking in Yixing’s direction.

The dark black marks on his shoulder that was poking through underneath his sleeves stared at her as she nodded. She fearfully pulled back her shirt to show the identical mark and he in took a sharp breath.

“You’ll die in hours if I don’t turn you,” Jongin hummed repeating what Yixing had said, “We don’t have much time then. We need to go.”

She looked frantically to her sister, “I can’t leave her. I have to stay.”

He scoffed, “She is fine. We need to save you and for that, I need to take you back to the house. Do you think Y/N wants to wake up to her sister dead or her sister safe?”

She looked to Yixing, and he nodded, “Save yourself and I’ll look over her, okay?”

“Can I trust that after what you’ve done? Do you even still love her?” she spat out before she let Jongin grab her wrist.

“Why do you think I’m still here? I’ll keep her and Jongdae alive and then I'll bring them home and your father as well.”

And while she was terrified, she wasn’t sure how long she had. There was an invisible bounty on her head and she wondered how quick they would be led to her and then, if they were, would they be able to find you too?  

She didn’t have time to think any further about being changed by Jongin. She had to let her mate do what he had to do and then they would figure the rest out. 

When the two of them dissolved, Yixing sighed and his back slid against the wall as he fell to the ground and laid his head back.  

You told him you’d figure out a solution and you were so damn close to it when he fucked up and ruined everyone's lives. He nearly killed you, your sister, and his two brothers in the process and damn, it killed him mentally and emotionally.

He should have waited. He could have waited until you figured it out, but he was stubborn and hopeless. He regretted it so much because now, he would give anything to feel you and your emotions. Even if he couldn’t have you, even if he was going to live with you platonically the best he could, he just wanted to feel you again. He wanted to sense your happiness, your love for him, your love for Jongdae, and your pain. He wanted it all back and now, he was stuck. No mate for him. No love could exist for him and someone else because he would never get over you now.

Even if he did, you were imprinted on his hip no matter if the mark was there or not. Not only that, but you were imprinted in his heart.

He felt every ounce of his body hurt and it felt like he was going through withdrawals as he watched you sleep. He sweat, he cried bright and dark tears of blood, he convulsed and felt chills all at the same time.

He just wanted to feel your heartbeat in his chest but he could barely feel his own.

What he was living with before was much more bearable, he swore. He could live with that pain over this pain, a thousand times.

It was hours later, and Yixing hadn’t slept a single moment when Jongdae’s eyes opened. With a sharp intake of breath, he shot up, nearly knocking you out of his arms when Yixing rushed over and pushed you gently onto the mattress before grabbing his brother by the shoulders.  

“Are you okay?” his amethyst eyes searched the pale red eyes of his brother.

Jongdae pulled away and reached for you, touching every inch of your body to make sure you were all in one piece. “I’m okay if she’s okay.” he pulled you into his arms and kissed your forehead gently, sighing when he felt your breathing. “What a fucking day.”

Yixing looked at him with guilt thick on his face.

“You’re going to spend a long time feeling sorry for yourself at this rate, Yixing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m fucking pissed at you but right now, all I can feel is overwhelming relief in the fact that she’s okay. That’s all that matters right now and that’s all I want to fucking think about. I’ll try to kill you later.”

“No, you won’t,” you croaked as you slowly opened your eyes. Jongdae pulled you closer and you groaned in pain, “Please be gentle, Dae.”

Your mark was aching and you were confused at the events that had passed but all you knew was that you needed to look at it when you had a chance. And well, you knew that you loved Jongdae and Yixing... you loved Yixing but something was different. He was in the room but where was he? You searched for him with your eyes, extending your mind as much as you could but as your eyes fell on him, you felt nothing. Nothing in terms of what you should have felt. Sure, you loved the man with purple eyes that you hadn’t remembered him having but the mental connection that you guys had once had, felt completely severed. You could read him so well before and now, he felt like a stranger. A stranger who you were connected to in some weird way.  

You whispered his name and his eyes caught onto yours and even if you couldn’t feel it anymore, his eyes held enough pain for you to catch on and you sure you looked the same.

Jongdae grasped you tighter as you and Yixing had a moment. A very distant moment and it made you burst into tears, not being able to explain quite why you were crying.

You didn’t have to explain to Jongdae because as your mate, he knew. But Yixing on the other hand, would never catch another one of your emotions that way and you would never catch his. Part of you felt missing and you knew it would never be back.

It ached almost more than the marred skin on your hip.  

“I’ll give you guys some space. I just promised I would make sure you were both okay so that’s why I watched over you.”

“Yixing-” you started but you didn’t know where you were going and you found yourself letting him turn and leave the room, unknowingly, both of you facing heartbreak.

Jongdae kissed your forehead, “Oh my love,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽

The after affects hurt more than you expected.

For the longest, your mark was blistered over and you could barely see what was below the mauled skin and not only that, you mentally ached. You felt as if a part of you was missing but instead of working to get it back, every day you had to work to get used to it.  

That’s where Jongdae came into play. He helped you get back into your normal life, whatever that was. Considering your sister was now staying with you and the boys and was also a vampire, you weren’t sure if you could still be considered normal.

Immortality made your sister and you get along all that much better even if it wasn’t much different than life before. The only difference now was that she had someone who her attention was focused on and it seemed she was falling in love. Hard and fast but watching from the sidelines, it seemed perfect. Jongin was good to her and it was nice that someone else had finally found their mate so you and Jongdae weren’t alone.

Then there was the Lord vampire and well, he preferred to be referred to as your father and since he had saved all of your lives, you obliged. After all, the way your mother loved him, it seemed he deserved the title and you knew that it didn’t take away the love you had for your biological father. Now, you just got to love another dad.  

While he stayed a couple of hours away, he was constantly visiting and he would spend hours telling you about your mother.

You connected well with him and he was helping your vampire family repair after the events that transpired.  

It had been a couple months since the incident and you and Jongdae were stronger than ever. You could easily say you loved him and spent a majority of your time not working, wrapped in his arms. Just like you were this particular Sunday.  

You breathed in his scent, smiling as he pressed gentle kisses to your neck.  

“I’ve been thinking,” he murdered against your neck.

Your closed eyes fluttered as your skin tingled, “What’s that?”

His lips traveled down to the dip where your neck meets your shoulder. “We don’t really have privacy anymore. With your sister constantly barging in…” he trailed off as you chucked lightly. It was true. Before she lived with you guys, you already barely had privacy but now that she was here, barging in without knocking and teasing you about anything you did with Jongdae, it was getting a little frustrating. You guys couldn’t really be intimate and it was frustrating considering it had been years since. “Do you think you’d want to get our own place?”

You froze and he removed his lips from you, coming up to meet your eyes and giving you a cat like grin that made you unfreeze and pull him down to your lips, kissing gingerly before smiling. “That doesn’t sound too bad.”

While the plans were for the brothers to live under one roof even with their mates, they were all seeing how impractical it was now and with one of the boys already moved out, it didn’t seem like they really needed to stay anyway.  

“I may have found something already…”

You smacked his chest, “You bought a house without even talking to me first, didn’t you?”

He smiled again, pressing you deeper into the mattress, “I’m sorry, I just keep thinking about how I want to do more than just talk to you.”

You raised a brow, “This is more than talking.”

Jongdae used one hand to place a hand on your cheek as he bent down to whisper in your ear, “You know what more I’m talking about.”

Chills consumed your body and could feel the cocky look on his face without seeing it.  

Both of you could constantly feel the sexual tension between you but you had yet to do anything about it for two reasons, one, your sister and the house of nosey vampires and two, you wanted it to be special and no matter how bad you had wanted it, the special time hadn’t seem to come.  

But now, it seemed that it was nearing.  

“Do you ever just want to say fuck it and take me in the shower?” you asked quietly, your voice shaking as you felt your core twitch.

He groaned loudly, “Don’t fucking say that, I’m trying to do this right.”

You hummed, “I don’t know. Wouldn’t it be right, regardless? It’s not like we haven’t been there before.”

Jongdae let out a growl, “You have to stop talking like that. It’s been too long since I’ve had you. What like three years now?”

Three long years it had been and it was obvious the two of you were having growing pains.  “When can we move in?” you asked with impatience.  

“Next month.” He kissed you harshly, using his teeth to bite your bottom lip. “Can I even wait a month?” he muttered to himself.  

You licked the blood he had spilled from biting you, “Probably not but we’ve waited this long.”

“What are we going to do?” he pressed his face into your neck and exhaled hopelessly, but before he could get too occupied with taking your scent in, he pulled back and captured your gaze with his. For several moments, he stayed staring at you, not speaking.

His face was serious, brows furrowed and it made you laugh. “What are you concentrating on so hard?” you asked after several moments of using your mate skills to figure out what was having him focus so hard on. It was a mixture of love and anxiety.

“Um,” he pressed his lips roughly together.

“It’s been a long time since you held back,” you commented as you played with the hair that had fallen over his forehead, “What’s going on in there?”

He laughed nervously, “For the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m going to scare you away.”

Scoffing, you played with the spot underneath his shirt where his soulmate mark was, “Jongdae, I’m not going anywhere. What do I have to do to prove that to you?”  

“Marry me.”

You froze, and Jongdae nervously watched you. “What did you say?”

“I want you to marry me. We have a month till we can move so why don’t we spend that time planning a wedding? If we are going to do this right, let’s do it right.”

You could feel his anxiety and you swore it seemed like he was going to cry so you pulled him tight to you and squeezed him with all the energy you could. “Let’s do it.”

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽

So you did.  

You spent a month planning out the wedding you never thought you’d get. Your sister, was ecstatic and unfortunately, but also not so unfortunately the only blood you had. Whereas Jongdae had lots of family, it was just the too of you, and your moms lover who you now so lovingly called dad. It may have been awkward to some that this strange man came in and asked to be called your father but honestly, it had been so long since you had a dad that it hurt and you would easily accept someone who wanted the position.  

Planning a vampire wedding, you assumed was just like any other wedding because even if your life changed, it didn’t mean your relationship did.

But there was just one thing, and that was that you absolutely hated planning events and it stressed you out more than it excited you so instead of taking the drivers seat in decision making, you rode in the back and your sister and Jongin piloted the ride. It was fitting as they were still fresh in their relationship and so madly in love. They needed something to put all that positive energy towards besides each other.  

In the mean time, Sehun was becoming a registered officiant – much to your dislike but it was either him or Baekhyun and you weren’t going to take to the wedding officiant flirting with you while he named you husband and wife like Baekhyun would.

It had to be someone close that married the two of you because religious figures had a habit of knowing just what you were and also they had the habit of attempting to banish, curse or pray for you. None of which you were really interested in including in your wedding.  

So Sehun it was. The annoying man child who snorted every time he tried reading wedding vows aloud.

Sitting on the back porch enjoying the sunset, you could hear him inside repeating the words to himself an cackling as he read them.  

“You do that at my wedding and I’ll castrate you,” you said in a low voice knowing very well that you didn’t have to speak up for him to hear you even through the thick glass sliding doors and the walls of the house.  

“I just find the whole thing silly,” he said and then you heard Baekhyun open his mouth.  

“Because it is. Who wants to commit to one person? Just because we mate doesn’t mean we can’t have fun, and if only Primrose would have let me, I could have showed her that.”

Obviously the jokes and harassment you suffered from Baekhyun had yet to end but you had a backbone now and they didn’t get passed you. “You know, Baekhyun, if you spent half the time you spend talking about getting laid actually trying to talk to women, you might actually get laid.”

Sehun cough-laughed and you heard a gasp get stuck in Baekhyun's throat.

His voice cranked up a couple of pitches, “I get laid all the time,” his voice cracked.

You laughed as Baekhyun stormed over to the sliding glass door and threw it open. “Baekhyun, we know your sex life just as much as you do. And it’s nonexistent.”

His hands clasped to his hips, “So is yours.”

You raised a brow, “Honey, that’s only to spare you and your thirsty brothers.” You heard Sehun breathe in a offended breath.  

“You’re mean now, Jongdae makes you mean.”

Baekhyun’s cocky exterior had broken down and now he was just a giant puppy. You shooed him away, “Go clean up the mess you made in the kitchen before you really see how mean I am.”

It was easy to fall into step as a mother to these men. Even if they were older than you, and your sister included, you always felt like you had to parent them. Although, things always felt like that with your sister. Especially when she was seeming to be spiraling out of control. You just had the nurturing nature.

“Listen to Prim and clean this up,” Kyungsoo grunted as you saw him padding through the kitchen with a cup of coffee in his hands, going for a twelfth refill of the day.

Baekhyun spun and looked back at the house, seeing Kyungsoo through the open door. “Don’t tell me what to do, you’re he one drinking coffee this late in the evening and people who drink coffee this late don’t have a handle on their lives.” 

You giggled at him, looking at the colors splotching across the darkening sky, “How else do we deal with you Baekhyun?”

Kyungsoo chuckled as he looked down at his slipper clad feet.  

Baekhyun raised a hand to point at you, then to Kyungsoo and then to Sehun, “Fuck you, you and you.”

Sehun raised his hands in the air, “Wait, how did I get included in this?”

When Baekhyun stomped like a raging two year old into the house, Jongdae rounded the edge of the house and you caught his gaze instantly, “Hi,” you waved softly.

He smiled, “Hi.”

“Did… everything go well?” you asked, feeling yourself try not to flinch.  

He pulled you up from your chair and into his arms. You smelled him. You smelled everything you had been trying not to think about and you forced it away, you pushed it from your mind because now, you had that capability.

He smiled. “It was good.” And he didn’t expand and you didn’t need him to. You didn’t need to talk about where he had gone for the past couple of hours. You didn’t need to talk about how it went when he took your blood with him in a thermos that was too familiar. You didn’t need to talk about the fact that just by catching his emotions that you knew you would have one less wedding guest.

You didn’t need to talk about the relief and disappointment the flushed over you all at once.

What had you expected, anyway? Things had long ago changed and you knew that the further he stayed, the easier it was to carry on with life.  

The only problem was beyond just loving him as a once mate, you loved him as a friend – you loved him as a person and even if you couldn’t feel his hurt, you knew it was there.  

And that was enough.  

You wondered that maybe if you had died from the mark removal how much easier their lives would of been-

But Jongdae caught the thought at shook his head, “If you weren’t here, I wouldn’t be here either. Even if I didn’t die because you died, I would have found a way to die. My life is easy and good because you exist, my beautiful fiance.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead, “I know it hurts. I know it will hurt for a long time but one day, maybe one day, it will hurt a little less.”

You leaned into him and you knew he was right because it had already hurt less than it had before.

It made you wonder though, if the pain would stay with you like the scar you had outlining your soulmate mark or if it could dissipate one day.

Although, your moms lover never stopped loving her.  

She married someone else, had children, sacrificed her life and yet, he still was madly in love and you could are the hurt hanging over him like a rain cloud.

You just hoped for him and Yixing, that one day they could love again – just like you had with Jongdae.

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽

“Are you ready for this?” your sister asked as she curled a small section of your hair.

You met her eyes in the mirror and smiled nervously, “Of course.”

“And Yixing?”

You rolled your eyes slightly, “You wait till the day of my wedding to ask about him.”

She started on another section of hair after twirling the last curl in between her fingers, “I figured you’d come to me when you wanted to talk about it and you never did, so as your sister, I had to ask. It’s last minute just nearly two hours before you get married but I want to ask before you’re fully committed.”

You place your hands on the vanity in front of you and sigh, “I think I’m already committed, sis.” You were frustrated, but not with her or her prying. You were frustrated that he wasn’t going to be at the most important day of your life when you married the most important person in your life but of course, you couldn’t blame him. “I think a part of my soul will always love Yixing but I think the love changes. Right now or ever in the future  from this point on will I never feel something for him that changes how I feel for Jongdae. I’m all his.”

She nodded and continued curling your hair, “I just want to be sure this is what you want.”

“Aren’t the brides supposed to have cold feet?” you asked her, as you watched her disgruntled expression in the mirror.

“Cold feet isn’t as much for brides as it is for mothers and sisters. I’ve not only been your sister but your mother, so excuse me if I’m overwhelmed. This isn’t the life I wanted for us, but it’s what we have and I just have to be sure,” she paused, holding the curler with one unsteady hand, “We could leave. I think this would be the last chance we have though. We could give it up and run away, if you aren’t in this.”

You stared at her in the mirror before turning and looking at her, “I’m confused, is this about Yixing or Jongdae?”

“It’s about you.”

“You’re telling me, if I wanted to run away and inevitably kill us, you would do that with me?” she nodded without hesitation, “and what about Jongin?”

Her face contorted, “Don’t get me wrong, I love him but if we are meant to be, we’d find each other again. Before him, before Yixing, before Jongdae, it was us. I just to make sure that you’re choosing this life and that it’s not controlling you.”

“I fought this relationship for a long time and even with our bond, I didn’t feel like I had to love him. I learned to love him for him so don’t fret. I want this and if I ever change my mind, I can do what I need to do – but I don’t see that happening.”

Your sister sighed, “I’m sorry. Just the whole thing with Yixing and you has been getting to me. Thinking about it, I just worry with how much you’ve hurt over him.”

“Hurt. How much I hurt – not how much I’m hurting, that’s the past tense,” you reminded her.  

“Say what you will but sis, I know it hurts that he isn’t here today.”

You looked at her for a long few seconds and then spoke, “You’re confusing hurt with regret. Yes, it sometimes I’m hurt over how it happens but I’m not hurting.  And I’m definitely not regretting anything nor do I wish things were different.”

She continued to work on your hair and just nodded, “I get it. I just know how much our mom suffered.”

Was she worried since Yixing was a Lord now? Was she worried you’d have an unfortunate demise like your mother?

The only way that would happen is if you were away from Jongdae and you had no way to get that across to her. You were sure that it wasn’t her doubting how in love you were but it was fear. Fear was driving her to double, triple check if everything was okay.  

But she didn’t have to be afraid. For once, everything was okay.  

The wound Yixing left would stay etched into you the exact way the scar around your garnet sparrow would but it was a scar. Scars stayed with you for your entire life and while they could bring up bad memories and make your heart drop to the pit of your stomach, they couldn’t define you anymore. It defined who you were once and most days, you lived without thinking about it.  

Just the way when Sehun pronounced you husband and wife, you had completely forgotten it existed.  

With Jongdae’s lips on yours, you long forgot about Yixing.  

And it stayed that way when Jongdae carried you through the front door of your new home.  

You giggled when he stubbed his toe on the door frame, nearly dropping you and causing the two of you to tumble onto the wood floor. “I choose a time like this to become clumsy,” he muttered under his breath.  

You rolled your eyes and stared up at his concentrated gaze as he carried you hurriedly to your bedroom. “I think it’s cute,” you mused.  

“I don’t want to be cute,” his voice came out in a rough growl and it just made you laugh more.

“You aren’t very scary.”

He huffed, “Just wait till I get this dress off you then. You have made me wait a long time.”

That, gave you chills. He felt your body shiver and then he smirked, pulling you tighter to him. He kicked the bedroom door open with so much force you could hear the door moan.  

He stood you up your feet just before the bed and loosened his tie. “You ready for this, my beautiful wife?” he asked tenderly as his hand found its place under your chin.  

Your jaw clenched and you nodded, eyes closing as his fingers trailed down your jaw, over your neck, and to the dip of your shoulder.  

“If your dress wasn’t so pretty, I don’t know if I could be so gentle,” he whispered as his fingers made their way around to the back of your dress, quickly undoing the corsetting that adorned the back of the dress. The dress loosened on your body, causing you to let out a whine in anticipation. You couldn’t move even though your hands ached to take the dress off quickly. You were to entranced by Jongdae. Too enthralled to take the lead.  

For a moment, he stopped his hands from moving and pressed sweet kisses to the crevice of your neck, each one leaving you shaking. But just as quickly as he started, he stopped and pushed the loose dress off your body, helping you step out of it once it was pooled around your feet.  

Jongdae gasped when he realized that you had forgone wearing undergarments and you almost swore you saw his eye color flicker. “This whole night, you’ve had nothing underneath your dress?” he breathed.  

You nodded, “Should I have gotten lingerie or something? I’ve never really been with many men so I don’t know what they like and I was nervous and I couldn’t really ask my sister and I have no friends,” everything was coming out in a hurried jumble as your arms tried to cover yourself. He grabbed your wrists, pulling them to his chest as he pulled you closer. His lips pressed down onto yours, giving you a sweet and quick kiss.  

“Stop. This is perfect. You being naked is better than any lingerie in the world.” He pushed you away softly, marveling over your body for a moment. “How did I get so lucky?”

Your lips curled up softly as you tugged at his shirt. “I would feel a little more secure if you were naked too.”

He wore a cocky grin as he untucked his shirt from his pants, unbuttoning it slowly, revealing his refined chest. He slipped the shirt down and off his shoulders but left the tie around his neck leaving him to look like what you assumed the embodiment of sin looked like.  

His shoes and socks were off before you could even notice because all you could focus on was the warmth between your legs when you saw his growing member in his pants.  

When his hands found their way to the button on them, your eyes shot up to his and he had a even cockier smile slapped on his face. “do you see something you like?” he asked gently as he unbuttoned his pants.  

You nodded, gulping as your thighs pressed together.

After unzipping, his pants dropped to the ground and immediately, his cock sprung free. You could have laughed had you not been so aroused. It seemed you both thought to go commando on your wedding day and that silly thing reminded you that you made a good choice.  

You had to admit, Jongdae looked damn good in only a tie with a rock hard cock but you wondered why he had neglected to remove it.  

His hands urged your forward, finding their way to your hips when you closed in in him. His lips immediately covered yours, prying them open and fighting a war against your tongue with his. You neatly melted into his touch, feeling the way his cock twitched against your body from where it was pressed so roughly against.  

You felt a moan escape your lips when his hands slipped down to cover your bottom and Jongdae rumbled a growl in return.  

He pushed you down onto the bed, smiling as he slowly undid his tie. He hovered over you and you felt the warmth his body had radiated. Tiny sparks connected your skin together and if you looked hard enough, you swore you saw them.  

“My love, I have many ways I can and want to make use of this.” He stretched the tie between his two hands as he stared at you, “How would you like me to use it?”

You scoffed, “Almighty Jongdae too good for vanilla sex?”

For a moment he froze until he realized you were joking, and then he growled, “You’re going to regret that.”  

In an instant, your roaming hands were pinned above your head and fastened with his tie. You groaned, unable to free yourself unless you used a lot of pressure – you seemed to like the position although and decided not to pop the weak tie lose.  

Jongdae ran a tongue across his lips, “I very much like this. Seeing you submissive below me, in the exact position I dreamed of having you in for years.”

He leaned down, pressing your thighs apart and moving himself between them. His breath tickled your neck before it reached your ear, “Do you have any idea of how bad I needed this?”

Your body convulsed as one of his thighs connected with your warmth, making you realize just how wet you were when you felt it seep onto his leg.  

You struggled to reach out, wanting badly to dig your nails into his skin but alas, you couldn’t. He pressed his leg harder against you and you quivered. “How long are you going to tease?” you wondered, “You talk about how long it’s been but yet you take your time. Just fuck me already, Jongdae.”

His eyes darkened, “I’m trying to go gentle and slow for your sake. It’s our first time if you think about it. I want it to be special.”

Rolling your eyes, you snapped the tie that held your hands over your head, “It will be special whether your fuck me hard and fast and slow and agonizing. Right now, I want hard and fast. You can save that slow shit for later.”

His eyes flashed red and he turned you over in an instant, face pressed against the bed and you sighed in pleasure when you felt the cool air caress between your legs before Jongdae pulled your ass up and right over his cock. You felt it touch you briefly and that was enough to get you going.

“If it’s too much, tell me to stop.”

You nodded but thought to yourself that there was no way you would ask him to stop. You were so sexually deprived that you couldn’t bear to.  

The second he slipped inside you, you felt like you were going to combust. Your legs shook and you realized Jongdae wrapped an arm around your lower half to keep it upright. You felt like jello but jello that had been electrocuted.  

Besides the sexual relief you felt, you had hot tears running down your cheeks because you realized just how much you loved Jongdae. You realized how close you were to leaving him behind and it intensified every sense.  

Jongdae moaned and you could hear his relief too. He held you tightly but not just out of pleasure as he thrust in and out of you.  

With every stroke, you could feel so much. And you felt amazing.

Jongdae kissed the exposed skin on your back as he thrust you into the bed. Your nails raking against the sheets and you were lucky that’s all it was because had it been Jongdae, you knew you would have been able to make him bleed.  

“Y/N,” Jongdae panted out as he pushed deeper into you, thrusting hard and fast.  

It wasn’t the goal to make this last long and you didn’t care at this point. You felt everything you needed. Love, passion, pain and lust. Everything the last years had been building up to this and it was enough of a release for you.  

But the didn’t stop from Jongdae pulling orgasm after orgasm out of you when his hand reached around and fiercely rubbed your clit.  

“I love you,” you breathed out, trying to hold back from collapsing.  

“I love you too,” he whimpered.  

You could feel his sweat stick to your skin as he held himself back and you reached back, trying to grab his hands in the empty air behind you. After a few moments of him thrusting slowly, he grabbed your hand,  holding tightly as it forced you deeper into the sheets.  

“Don’t hold back anymore,” your words were muffled but he heard then because he could hear you. Without needing to seen your words, he felt them deep in your soul and one of his hands cupped your soulmate mark as he quickened his speed, moaning and crumbling behind you. You felt his release before he vocalized it and you felt a stupid grin slipping onto your wrecked face.  

After coming, he quickly pulled you out of the sheets and into his arms.  

You looked at him for several long moments before burying your face in his neck.  

“That was not how I planned,” he said softly, “I meant to go gentle on you.”

You scoffed, “I’m not human anymore, Jongdae.”  

He shook his head, “No, but you’re my mate. I need to be careful with you.”

“I’m not going to break, and you’d be very surprised by what I can take.” You lifted your face up to smile at him, “Love, that’s not even half of it.”

“Didn’t scare you away?” he asked reluctantly.  

You shook your head, “Not even quite. In fact, I wanted you to bite me this time.” 

Jongdae groaned, “Stop you’re going to get me worked up again.”

You scoffed, “Good. I want you worked up and I want you over and over till all I can think about is you inside me. If it felt this good from a quick and fast time, I can’t imagine how much better it will feel with your teeth sunk into me.”

Jongdae sucked in a breath, “That’s it. I’ve had enough.”

And this time, when he sunk inside you, he sunk his teeth in too.

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽

And in some twisted way, you got your happily ever after…

With some kinks to be worked out.  

Things like Baekhyun and his habit of making thirsty comments towards you because the horny vampire had yet to find his mate. Things like your sister and Jongin in the fresh beginnings of their relationship and their. Things with the other family that you still knew nothing about were rocky since the whole incident happened.  

And then Yixing, the person who you tried to make the last thought on your mind although, he would never be the last thought… but he would never be the first.  

You assumed no matter how much love Jongdae gave you, the rejection and the broken mateship would always hurt at times. Most days, you didn’t think of it. But then times like this, time just when you thought you were closing a chapter of your life for a new one, you remembered.

You remembered him as your fingers hung a doctorate degree and Jongdae watched from beside you. You remembered him as if he were a memory because that’s all he seemed to be anymore and that hurt.

Surely you lied to your sister when you said you didn’t hurt over him but yet, you hadn’t completely lied because some days, most days, you were great.

Jongdae pressed a loving kiss to your forehead and the unspoken words hurt you even more when his lips touched your temple. He was in pain too. Yixing had left his mark on more than just you and his absence had his whole family aching. You could feel it radiate off Jongdae and you knew he felt it radiating off of you.  

But as with most things, you had him and that was enough to keep you going.  

Jongdae was your life and everything hurt way less with your heart in his hands.  

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽

He had become dull. There was no life left to him. His heart was empty and so was his body.  

The only remains of feelings he had left were the scar that adorned his hip. The scar from what he had done to you.  

His space from you was purposeful. Not just to let you and Jongdae live in peace but also so everyone could live in peace. It was better this way.  

He assumed this wouldn’t hurt and neither of you would die since you had no more ties.  

It hurt more to see your face and not know a single thing about you, Yixing thought.  

Every invitation you extended his way went on deaf ears as he crumbled it up and threw it into his fireplace.  

He wanted to be around you but at what cost? He was a Lord now and everything was different. He was more powerful but also belonged less to his family than he ever had. He was no longer a typical vampire. He dealt more with life and death dealings than anything and that is why, Lords had no soulmate. They weren’t supposed to love because it would interfere. You could see them kind of like a guardian angel and a grim reaper mixed into one.  

Hell, it was still foggy to him as he learned from Lord K, your self proclaimed father.

Even if he had stripped himself of everything that had to do with you, he couldn’t lose Lord K. His mentor and his only friend.  

“You will continue to suffer until you let them back in,” he would tell Yixing but Yixing was firm.  

Last time he went away, he had reasons to stay. To keep himself alive, to keep you alive.  

Now, there was nothing. No reason to stay.  

He was just bad memories to everyone around him and Yixing couldn’t forget it.  

Sometimes, he had just wished he died because at least with death you could grieve and one day feel free of most of the pain.  

With him alive, neither you nor he could ever properly grieve.

And it was haunting him.

But I guess, just like this story begun without a proper beginning, it will end just like this. Without a proper ending.  

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summerdae10-blog · 7 years ago

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Secret Love ~ A Kim Jongdae Short Story (on Wattpad) http://my.w.tt/UiNb/8vbTWz7SuE

#byunbaekhyun #chenxreader #dokyungsoo #exo #exoxreader #friendship #kimjongdae #kpop #love #ohsehun #parkchanyeol #shortstory #books #wattpad #amreading

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exoscenarios3 · 7 years ago

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Graduation. (ChenxReader) *Requested* *Fluff*

Request: do you think you could you possibly do a oneshot for jongdae at your graduation?

*ANOTHER SHORT ONE SHOT*

Today was graduation day, and unlike everyone else, I wasn’t excited. Well, that’s a lie. I’m excited to actually graduate and get out of high school, but someone very important to me couldn’t make it today. Jongdae told me he couldn’t come to graduation, because SM had scheduled for his group to go to Japan today. He was supposed to fly to the U.S. last night and ride with me to the graduation, but obviously, that didn’t happen.

Sure, I was highly disappointed, but I couldn’t blame him. I knew what I was getting into when I decided to have a relationship with an idol. I tried to not focus on it, and think about how I was finally graduating, but my mind kept creeping back to him.

“Hey, why the long face? You’re ten minutes away from being a graduate. Cheer up.” One of my friends said, once she noticed how down I was.

I gave her a smile, and a bright face, making her believe that I was okay, she smiled back, and left to go take even more pictures with people she’s only spoken to about once.

We were called to line up, and get ready to go into the auditorium where all the family and friends were waiting to see their kids walk across the stage. I could hear the music begin to play, as we started to walk in, slowly in a line. Once I got in, I looked around and automatically spotted my parents waving frantically at me. I smile, and wave back slightly, as I continue to walk to my seat. My mom pointed up to some odd rows behind her, telling me to look that way. I followed her point, and spotted Jongdae in the crowd, smiling down at me, and waving. Excitement spread throughout my body, and I couldn’t keep the smile off my face.

“Walk faster, I wanna get out of here.” One of my classmates said from behind me.

I looked at Jongdae again, before picking up my pace, and getting to my seat. I wanted more than anything for this ceremony to be over, so I could get to Jongdae, but, of course the speakers took their sweet time, and it seemed like the list of names in my class got longer, as everyone walked across the stage. Finally, we were all done walking across the stage, and we threw our caps in the air, and it was time to exit the auditorium.

I waited outside of the door, waiting for Jongdae to come out. When he did, I immediately attacked him with a big hug and kisses.

“You told me you weren’t coming today?” I said, pulling away from him a little, still having my arms wrapped around his neck.

“I talked to the CEO, and he agreed to let me leave tomorrow instead.” He said, with a big smile on his face.

I smiled, even wider than him probably, and gave him another kiss. I was more than excited about him being here.

My parents came out of the auditorium as well. I gave them all hugs, and they took a little too many pictures of me and Jongdae together, but I wasn’t complaining.

“We’ll let you two go get dinner alone. I’m sure you wouldn’t want us intruding.” My mom smiled, as she gave me one last hug of the night.

I took Jongdae’s hand in mine, and thanked my parents, before basically dragging him out of the building, and into my car.

“I’m so glad you’re here. I really thought I wasn’t gonna get to see you for a while.” I said, not hiding my excitement.

“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” He said, leaning in and kissing my cheek. I smile, and bring him back in for a real kiss.

Do you guys wanna read something cringe worthy? Way back when I was just a smol 13 year old, I wrote youtuber fanfiction! Recently, I decided to recreate it into Exo fanfiction, because fuck it, right? I posted the first chapter literally two seconds ago on Wattpad. I tried to keep it similar to what I wrote when I was 13.... Don’t worry, I’m not leaving Tumblr, but if you want to read this cringy fan fic, click here!

If you would like to request something for me to write, you can click here. It can be about anything really. It can also be any group (At least the ones I know really well. i.e. Exo, Ikon, Got7, Shinee, NCT, Seventeen, BTS.) It doesn’t have to be a reader, you can give me your name or something, just know that I don’t do ships, because I think ships are dumb, but that’s just me ALSO, if you just want to straight up ask me something or say anything to me really, you can click here.

#chen #kim jongdae #exo #Exol #exom #exok #exochen #exo jongdae #exofluff #exo smut #exo scenarios #exo angst

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exoficsspanish · 10 years ago

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Baby don't cry

Tus ojos llenos de lágrimas observaban con tristeza a través de una ventana de aquel café que tanto te gustaba frecuentar, frente a ti se enfriaba una enorme taza de café, cuando las luces bajaron un poco de intensidad, tu vista se dirigió a donde la luz se concentró, encontrándote con un hermoso piano, entonces lo viste y tu corazón se estrujó dolorosamente.

JongDae te observó un momento antes de sentarse frente al piano, sus dedos se deslizaron con suma delicadeza sobre las teclas, dejando que aquella melodía que tan bien conocías inundara el pequeño lugar.

Sus labios se abrieron y su potente voz llenó el lugar, tus ojos no podían separarse de su figura y tu respiración lentamente comenzaba a quebrarse.

Si no soy yo, será otro hombre, como la línea de una comedia.

Aquella frase te rompió el corazón, su historia de amor no era justa y dolía demasiado, pero el destino ya estaba escrito y no había mucho que pudieras hacer para cambiar las cosas ahora.

Sin ser verdaderamente consciente las lágrimas comenzaron a mojar tus mejillas, de cierta forma agradecías no haberte puesto gota de maquillaje aquella mañana gris. Llevaste una de tus manos a tu boca, tratando de retener un sollozo que pugnaba por abandonar tu garganta.

Mi amor te protegerá y jamás te dejará.

Cerraste tus ojos sintiendo como lentamente todo se hacía tan pesado a tu alrededor, cuando abriste de nuevo tus ojos lo viste, viéndote fijamente, una sonrisa rota apareció en tus labios resecos y murmuraste aquellas palabras que siempre te habían costado tanto.

Wo ai ni

Y lo viste sonreír un momento antes de volver a cantar, soltaste un suspiro tembloso sintiendo que de cierta forma ahora tu pecho era un poco más ligero, aunque el dolor continuaba martillándote contra las costillas.

Sonreíste al recordar su primer encuentro, estabas más que perdida en aquel colegio cuando lo viste leyendo un libro, así que venciendo tu miedo a no tener la menor idea de cómo preguntar ¿Dónde estoy?, en chino, te acercaste a él.

-Disculpa- murmuraste en un extraño ingles que te hizo sonrojar- ¿Dónde queda la dirección?-preguntaste pidiéndole a todos los dioses y santos que aquel chico supiera aunque sea un poco de inglés, cuando notaste que el chico solo te veía fijamente, haciéndote sonrojar aun más de lo que ya estabas- amm… dirección- murmuraste haciendo señas con tus manos.

-Claro- murmuró él sonriéndote, antes de tomar tu mano- me llamo Kim JongDae, pero puedes decirme Chen.

Sonreíste levemente a pesar de sentir un vuelco en tu estomago y miles de pequeñas e inquietantes cosquillas en tu mano.

Tu vuelo de regreso a casa salía en unas cuatro horas más, aquella canción quedaba como anillo al dedo para su relación, cuando la canción terminó, apretujaste con fuerza tu suéter viéndolo acercándose a ti.

- ¿Vamos a caminar?- te preguntó dándote su mano.

Asentiste lentamente, dejaste un billete sobre la mesa antes y tomaste aquella mano que tanta seguridad te daba.

Mientras caminaban bajo la noche las lágrimas de nuevo llenaron tus ojos, entonces se detuvieron y JongDae se acercó limpiando lentamente tus mejillas húmedas.

- ¿Dónde quedo la chica ruda?- te preguntó sonriéndote un poco, aunque sus ojos no brillaban- sabes que odio verte llorar, por eso jamás te dejo ver películas románticas.

Sonreíste un poco, la luz de la luna de octubre los iluminaba y sin poder contenerte un poco más, te acercaste a él y lo besaste, fue un toque suave y ligero, cuando se separaron el te acomodó el copete detrás de tu oreja.

-Deja de llorar boba- se burló de ti- solo haz de cuenta de que esto- dijo señalándolos- nunca paso.

-No puedo- dijiste sincera limpiándote el rostro- no me digas boba, bobo.

El solo te sonrió antes de parar un taxi para que subieras, después de despedirse, JongDae pasó el resto de la noche observando el cielo desde el techo del edificio donde vivía, hasta que el amanecer comenzó a llenar de colores el cielo, mis mismos colores que alguna vez utilizaste, tan brillante como tu sonrisa y sin poder contenerse las lágrimas comenzaron a bajar por sus mejillas.

-Y ahora solo, lloro, lloro, lloro- susurró aquellas últimas palabras de su última canción.

_________________________________________________________

Espero que les guste! es la primera vez que escribo algo hetero >u<

#one-shot #Jongdae #EXO-M #ChenxReader #angst #Admin G

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yeolsmuffin · 7 years ago

Text

Primrose - Jongdae | Part 4 [M]

Genre: Angst & Fluff & Mature | AU!Vampire/Soulmate Chen, AU!Vampire/Soulmate Reader|

Pairing: chenXreader, layXreader

Word Count: 8.8k

One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six |

"She's yours, Jongdae. There's no need to get defensive."

Yixing must have walked away because Jongdae's voice got louder. "When you can't even deny feelings for her, I think I have every right to get defensive."

You started to shake as you forced yourself to lose the connection with Jongdae. You pushed his voice to the back of your mind and even though you had regained your strength more so, you pulled the covers of your bed up to your chin and you tried to ignore the ache between your legs and the pain in your heart.

The dark black sparrow that was engraved on the skin of your hipbone, you wanted to burn it off. You wanted to burn it off, run away and never look back.

Yixing promised you the chance at a life with choices but hearing the way Jongdae spoke about you and feeling the way you did about him, reminded you that you had no choices when it came to your life. You would try to run away. When? You didn't know but first, you would have to learn to control yourself, learn how to live this way, and then earn their trust.

Then you would slip away.

You had gotten stronger just from your own feeding off Yixing and while you still had kinks and aches in your body, you were assured it would get better – although, if you wanted it better faster, you needed to hang around Jongdae more.

But you didn't want to. It felt dangerous and you had no control over how you acted around him.

You stuck to Yixing over the next few days even though he had said the two of you should spend time apart – it wasn't your fault since he was the one coming to your room this time.

Yixing had started to train you – or well, he got Minseok to train you while he watched since Yixing seemed too afraid to put his hands near you lately. You didn't blame him either because the eruption of warmth on your skin when he touched you was something you liked too much.

Which made you feel guilty.

Something you didn't want to feel since you genuinely liked Yixing but yet, you were roped in by Jongdae.

No matter how hard you tried not to look at Jongdae, your eyes would end up following him like they were magnetized to him. Just the way you were doing now when Jongdae entered the room that you were training in. He was wearing all black and despite his agony of you not wanting to be around him, he walked with a confidence that made your body shake. You wanted him-

Minseok flipped you over on the mat and you landed on your back with a groan, causing Jongdae's gaze to snap over to you and you felt the heat of his gaze. "Focus, Y/N," Minseok said firmly. "It's important you learn to defend yourself. Not that you'll ever have to..." He trailed off for a sigh and you saw his gaze flick over next to you and you followed his eyes, seeing Jongdae standing close to you.

"Are you okay?" Jongdae said lowly, meeting your eyes as you looked at him.

You nodded and tried to look away, but you couldn't. Your eyes were stuck on him. His beautiful dark eyes that were framed by strong brows drew you in as if you were his prey.

"Dae, she's not a weak human anymore. I'm not going to be able to hurt her even if I wanted to," Minseok pointed out and you winced. That was enough to pull your gaze from Jongdae. It was enough for you to look from him to Yixing who was sitting in the corner of the room and reading a book. His eyes met yours over the top of the book and he tried to give you a look of encouragement.

"Again," you said while pulling yourself up to your feet to go again.

Minseok gave you a simple nod and the two of you trained for the next couple of hours with both Yixing and Jongdae watching from the side.

This went on for about two weeks and you were getting better at defending against Minseok, even getting him on his back a few times which always put a devilish grin on his face. But by the end of the two weeks, you were weak again and your body was sore with bruises.

"Yixing," Minseok said lowly, not trying to capture Jongdae's attention but since you had been watching Jongdae for the past few moments, you saw him look up. His gaze didn't meet yours and you saw it harden but somehow he still looked so angelic. You couldn't help but be drawn to look at Jongdae because you were certain he was the most beautiful man you had ever laid your eyes on and so badly you wanted to be wrapped up in his arms again. Just to feel the sparks again. Jongdae met your eyes then and gave you a look telling you that he wanted the same thing and you wondered if he could read your mind. Even if so, you couldn't look away. "She needs to feed."

Jongdae stood, keeping his eyes on you, "She can feed from me."

Minseok sighed, "You know that will complete the ritual-"

"I know," Jongdae snapped. "I don't mind."

"But she might," Minseok noted.

Groaning and smacking your hands against the mat on the ground you opened your mouth, "If we're talking about me, can't we talk to me?"

All three vampire's eyes snapped to you, "I'm sorry, love," Jongdae whispered and you stared at him intently before looking back to Minseok.

"What will complete?"

Minseok looked off into the distance.

Yixing stood up and walked closer to you, "If you won't tell her, I will," and while you didn't look at Yixing, you knew he was talking to Jongdae.

"The mating ritual. It's what I had... done to you by accident. If you bite me and inject me with your venom, our mate bond will be completed and there will be... certain effects. Now, we are stronger if we are together and use each other but once the bond is fully complete – well, there is a lot to it."

You shook your head, "That sounds very forced."

Minseok buts in, "Just don't bite him until you're ready, Y/N. Because once you do..." He stopped himself and cleared his throat, "You need to be sure he's what you want."

"Um, did you forget we're mates? Of course, she is going to want to be with me."

"That's not what I want right now," you half-lied and you sensed Yixing caught on because he looked at you.

You could feel the way Jongdae's mood dropped, "And I will be waiting for you," he said in a low tone, "But don't forget that you're in a house full of vampires that have mates they haven't found yet."

And with that, he left the room.

You knew his words were directed towards you about Yixing and it made everything inside you twist.

"God," Minseok mumbled and pulled you up from the mat, "He's gotten grumpier since he found his mate. I sure hope we aren't going to have this happen eight more times."

Yixing shrugged, "Seven times at most, Sehun doesn't want his mate."

"I used to think we had to be with our mate," Minseok admitted, "But I'm starting to think that we don't have to and that we can love anyone," He trailed off with a sigh, “Everything is different than we expected.”

You stared at Yixing as he shook his head, "No. We are destined to be with our mates, Minseok,” he said but you didn't fully believe his tone.

Minseok nodded slowly, "Sure. So do you want me to feed Y/N, then?" He offered and you automatically sunk back away from him.

Yixing glared at him, "I'll do it. Just go."

"Are you sure you want to do it here?" Minseok asked quietly.

"It's better here," Yixing said through gritted teeth.

Minseok was gone after a few moments and Yixing sighed and stood in front of you, "Are you hungry?" He said with his gentle voice, all of the edge that it once held was gone.

You shrugged your shoulders because you weren't sure. Was that the reason that your throat was on fire or why you wanted Jongdae today more than any day?

"Do you want to feed from me again, or do you have someone else in mind?"

You bit at your lip, "I assume you're the safest option."

"I'm not sure about that," he mumbled, giving you a look and you knew the meaning behind it. The two of you wouldn't speak of it though because there was an elephant in the room. A.K.A, your soul mate. You were starting to develop feelings for Yixing and maybe he was developing his too but there was absolutely no way you could go anywhere with it. He had a soul mate of his own in the world waiting for him and the thought made your stomach hurt the same way it did when you thought of hurting Jongdae.

He pulled you closer to him by your wrist, "Come, let's get you fed."

Since he had a height advantage on you, it would be hard to reach his neck properly so Yixing had sat in the chair he was sitting in earlier with a sigh. He patted his lap once he was settled for you to sit down but you just stared at him. "Yixing," you said gently.

"What is it, darling?"

"Are you uncomfortable with this?" And honestly, you already knew the answer. Both of you were uncomfortable by this - or maybe too comfortable, you couldn’t be sure. It was strange how wrong things felt when they didn't involve Jongdae. But you were still bitter. Bitter that you didn't have a say in life.

Yixing let out a deep breath and pulled you down to sit on his lap with your thighs sideways across his just the way you had been last time. Warmth spread throughout you and it made your body tingle. "It's not that. It's a lot of things. I just don't think that any of us were prepared for this whole situation. Just don't worry, okay? We all care about you and want the best for you. Especially Jongdae and in the end, you guys will work it out."

The words fell out before you could stop them, "What about you?"

Yixing smiled, "I may have taken to you," he said softly before turning his head to give you his neck, "If I hadn't, you would be stuck feeding from someone else - possibly Chanyeol, or,” he laughed, “worse, Baekhyun.”

You just looked at him for a moment. Yixing was stunningly beautiful and in fact so was everyone in this house. You felt as if your looks paled in comparsion so you couldn't understand why Jongdae wanted you to himself or why Yixing seemed to have a slight bias for you. Maybe you were a vampire now, but other than the occasional red eyes, you looked the same.

"What's that expression about?" He asked turning towards you.

You shrugged, "I'm so average. How did I have this destiny to be around the most beautiful people in existence when I'm not extravagant?"

Yixing raised a brow, "Oh, darling, how you are wrong. You've got the whole house of vampires turned upside down over your beauty. Baekhyun is the worst and you don't know how many times he has been choked or pinned down by Jongdae for his thoughts. Besides, it's more than that. You are extraordinary and have so many qualities that our family hasn't seen in a while. We needed someone strong, stubborn, and caring the way you are."

Giving Yixing a smile, you resisted the urge to nuzzle into his neck, "You guys are way better than what I would have imagined vampires to be."

Yixing raised his other brow, "And how did you imagine us to be?"

"Blood sucking jerks, you know the whole deal?"

And with a quick flick of his hand, he had his fingers twisted in your hair gently and he pulled back your head to expose you neck. Before you could even let out so much as a breath, you felt his teeth against your neck which you hadn't felt since Jongdae bit you. For some reason though, you weren't afraid. Instead, the feeling of his teeth and fangs against your skin thrilled you and the impulse you felt to bite was growing so strongly that you felt you were spinning out of control.

"Like this?" He asked against your neck.

But you couldn't even nod.

"Do you understand how it feels to be bit?" He asked gently. "It's extreme. It feels like all of your nerves are on fire. I assume the first time you were bit, that it hurt, didn't it?" You nodded. "It wouldn't hurt again, I assure you." His words chilled your bones even though you were warm from his touch. "Do you want me to show you? Maybe, you'll rethink things with Jongdae then." But all Jongdae's name did was make you feel guilt you didn’t want to feel with Yixing's teeth against your neck.

This time you nodded though, you wanted to be bit again and you almost felt like you were in a trance. You trusted Yixing and you couldn't imagine a better person to show you – even if you knew it was wrong. The red sparrow on your hip proved who you belonged to but in that moment, you didn't want to think of it.

Yixing let out a low groan and pressed his fangs into your skin so quickly that you didn't even feel the small pinch they had made when they pierced the top layer of skin. Your whole body ignited with Yixing's warmth as his fangs dug into your skin. Goosebumps rose on your skin and you had started to shake. Instead of the pain you felt from Jongdae's fangs, you felt good – too good and then Yixing started sucking at your neck, pulling blood from your veins and causing you to slump in his hold. A feeling that could only be explained as ecstasy wracked your body and all you wanted was to be closer to Yixing, more intimate. You wanted him in ways you shouldn't and it was causing you to pant.

And he pulled away quickly, grabbing you tightly to hold you up. "Do you understand why it's so hard for me to stay sane now?" He said lowly with his eyes a bright shade of red that had never looked more beautiful. You couldn't speak at first because you were trying to form coherent words that didn't involve the fact that you wanted to rip his clothes off.

"I-I... I see," you stuttered. "Does it always feel like that for you?"

Yixing winced, "I haven't blood shared with many others before-" and when your eyes widened, he patted your head, "yes, you are special. But with the others... no, it didn't feel the way that it feels now. You are quite different," he said and while you wanted a better explanation, you didn't dare go there. It felt too dangerous. "Now drink up, darling."

He gave you his neck again and you didn't hesitate so much this time. Mostly because if you didn't get away from Yixing soon, you might embarrass yourself. Your fangs sunk into his skin and Yixing tried to bite back his groan that still managed to escaped. You sucked more roughly than you had last time due to your excitement and it made Yixing clutch at your waist desperately.

You had only drank from him a few moments before you felt full and rejuvenated so you slowly retracted noticing the warmth between your legs and Yixing's arousal beneath you. You were surely going to combust if you didn't get distance so you quickly got up from his lap and stood against the wall next to him, trying to catch your breath. "It's so intense," you whispered.

Letting out a shaky breath, Yixing nodded and dropped his head to his hands. "You have no idea."

"Yixing?"

"Mmm?"

"What's your soulmate mark?"

You hadn't known why you had asked, but something in the back of your head had pressed you too and before you could think the question through, it had flown from your mouth.

"Why do you ask?" He quickly asked while his voice shook.

"I don't know. It just came out."

"Well, I guess I can't hide it from you long," and his words made your heart beat against your chest too roughly.

He stood slowly, stretching his body as he did so and then he walked close to you. Too close because you could smell the scent that was Yixing and you were already having trouble resisting him.

Slowly, he pulled up the side of his shirt and tugged gently at his jeans, exposing his hipbone. You gasped as you saw the same sparrow that you had on your hip reflected on his own. Reaching out to touch it, Yixing flinched but let you do so. The skin there was cold, unlike the rest of Yixing's body and it made you pull your hand away. Instead of the red that your and Jongdae's sparrows were, it was a deep blue. What did it mean?

Yixing had a look on his face that said you were just as confused as he was. "I don't know what it means but the reason I told Jongdae to stay away from you that night that he had first saw you was because I had an instinct the moment I saw you. I'm obviously not your mate... but I don't know what this means. I've never seen anyone have the same soulmate mark like this before..."

And while it shocked you, you knew that Yixing baring the same mark as you must have hurt Jongdae and that made everything inside you ache.

Deep down you had a feeling that there would be plenty of hurt to go around in no time - and that scared you, further pushing you to want to get the hell out of their house as quickly as possible.

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽

You were trying to be the best student you could in the following weeks. Every day you would train with Minseok and if not with him than with Junmyeon or Kyungsoo. Yixing would watch alongside Jongdae and you found it easier to be friendly with those around you – including Jongdae.

Once you stopped feeding from Yixing – which you had to after the third time and the two of you almost kissed, so the two of you decided you needed to start going for blood bags – it was easier to welcome Jongdae's presence.

Now he would come to your room and talk to you some nights and you no longer tried breaking his bones. You started to learn more about him. Like that he had a beautiful singing voice and he occasionally wrote poems – which he shyly admitted.

He learned more about you and what you wanted to do with your life and to your surprise, he encouraged you to do whatever you wish.

You had begun to feel comfortable and by the time you had passed your four months as a vampire you realized that you were too comfortable. You had started classes at college again and you were continuing your nursing degree.

It was amazing how much easier it was to study as a vampire and you found yourself aceing and passing everything thrown at you with ease.

Thanks to Yixing, you had managed to even test through a few courses and shorten your time to graduation which you welcomed. The sooner you graduated, the sooner you could leave and that alone was enough to keep your head buried in your books.

For the most part, you were left on your own to do as you please - if you weren’t being bothered by Chanyeol or harassed by Baekhyun.

Yixing and you had gotten better at keeping your distance from each other although it was more on his side than yours. You ached to spend time with him and every time you passed him and inhaled his scent, you felt like you may pass out.

And his lips.

You couldn’t stop staring at his lips since the two of you had nearly kissed just several weeks ago. The worst part of it that you were still wearing the shame of, was that the only thing that stopped it from happening was Kyungsoo walking in on the two of you.

Kyungsoo had looked at you with disappointment and since he had been helping train you, you felt the brunt of his look. It bothered you that he was disappointed in you because the worst part about Kyungsoo was he was very quiet and now, it seemed he had gotten even quieter.

Even when he was training you, it had seemed he chose to keep quiet other than correcting.

Yixing didn’t sit on your training much anymore whereas Jongdae never missed one and there were times - like recently, he had taken to training you himself.

“Come on my sweet Primrose,” Jongdae whispered from behind you, his arms in a tight vice around you. Lately, you were learning much more defense and while you felt like there was a reason for it, Jongdae and the others tried to assure you it was just in case. You didn’t mind much because even though you were starting to enjoy being around the house of vampires, you still needed to get away.

At least for a while.

You needed to know what you wanted and there wasn’t a way you could truthfully decide unless you had some alone time.

“Break away, Prim,” Junmyeon ordered from where he stood by the mat, using the nickname that Jongdae had created for you in the past couple of weeks. “His hold is only as strong as you’ll allow it to be.”

Closing your eyes and licking your lips, you tried to channel the strength that you could. The same strength you used to break Jongdae’s neck before but it was nowhere to be found.

Your body was reveling in the way Jongdae’s molds perfectly to yours and the way you could feel the hard curves of his body. It made you tremble and instead of giving you strength, it made you weaker as you slumped in his arms.

“That’s the opposite of what you should be doing,” Jongdae mumbled with what feels like a smile on his lips. He tightened his arms further around you, causing your bones to start to ache but also making your heart race. “Get away from me, my love, I know it’s what you really want. You seem too comfortable in my arms. Just the way you were that night.”

But you couldn’t move, you just let out a little whimper and when you swear you feel Jongdae growing aroused behind you, Junmyeon groaned. “You are jeopardizing her training, Dae. Make her angry, not aroused.”

Jongdae scoffed, “I’m not going to make her angry,” he said releasing his steel grip and just holding you gently. His chin nuzzled your neck, “Find someone else to do that.”

Junmyeon gave him a look, “Is that what you want?”

But before he could answer, Baekhyun came strolling into the room, “I heard you guys going at it from the top floor,” his sly gaze trailed over to you, “it looks like you’re starting to have effects on your little kitten, after all,” Baekhyun noted and your cheeks flushed.

Okay, so maybe you had gotten slightly aroused from Jongdae and the fact that vampires could sense it made your whole body heat with embarrassment.

Grabbing your hand, Jongdae squeezed and pressed a gentle kiss to your neck. “Ignore him, he’s just bitter,” Jongdae whispered with a laugh.

Lately, you had been embracing touches and affection with Jongdae easily and you weren’t sure why. But it felt right so you let it happen against your better judgment.

“At first,” Baekhyun said, walking lazily around the mat you were standing on and his eyes watched you like you were his prey - a slight red tone to them. “I thought it was only Yixing who could arouse you,” both your and Jongdae’s bodies froze at Baekhyun’s words, “But it seems both can do so now.”

Junmyeon let out a shaky breath.

“Have you thought of a threesome, Jongdae? You could share her with Yixing because after all, we all know that the three of you share similar marks.” Jongdae’s hands turned to fists and you felt Junmyeon come over and drop a hand on his shoulder.

“Although, you could share with me too. I happen to find your mate very attractive... but Yixing probably wouldn’t allow that. Don’t you think he’s taken to her a little too fondly? And she to him? Isn’t it fucked up that she loves someone other than her mate-” but you couldn’t listen to another second of Baekhyun talking and you pushed out of Jongdae’s tight hold and lunged at Baekhyun.

He had you spun around in a second and you were now stuck in the same hold Jongdae had held you in except for this time, you weren’t comfortable. Baekhyun’s skin against yours made you shake with anger.

“What, Kitten? Are you upset that I’m saying the truth?”

You felt your eyes flash and the red take them over as you shook.

“I know that you almost kissed him,” he whispered in your ear and chills racked down your spine, “I know what you want to do to him-”

With a growl, you bit down on Baekhyun’s arm with fully extended fangs and caused Baekhyun to yelp. Once you had bitten as hard as you could, you used all of your strength to push out of his hold and for a moment your vision went black.

The moment your vision came back, you heard Baekhyun let out a high pitched scream and you realized you had him painfully pinned to the ground.

Jongdae laughed and rubbed your back gently, “That’s my girl.”

“Is anyone going to get her off me?” Baekhyun squeaked.

Junmyeon shrugged, “You’ve been talking about wanting her on top of you for some time,” he admitted.

“Maybe now you will stop your talking about my mate, Baekhyun. Clearly, if she wanted you she wouldn’t have her elbow dug into your dick,” Jongdae said pointing to where you were doing just that.

“Who knew that her defensives were so good? All we needed was Baekhyun to piss her off,” Junmyeon laughed.

Patting your back and gently lifting you up from Baekhyun, Jongdae gave you a genuine smile. “You did so well, Y/N.”

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽

The next few months you had nearly forgotten the life you had before Jongdae. No longer did you crave to leave this life behind because you felt more comfortable than you had in your life.

Being closer to Jongdae had so many positive benefits that you had begun to share a bed with him - not that you would get intimate with him because Jongdae never tried and he would only touch you if you allowed him to.

He wasn’t trying to push himself on you and gave you the space you asked for when you asked for it. It seemed he was trying to keep you the best he could.

Normally, the two of you would stay in bed till noon due to your late-night college classes and the few businesses the clan had that Jongdae kept up with the books on – but today was different.

Something stirred inside you and woke you before the sun had even risen. The feeling in the pit of your stomach told you to call your sister and while you had called her a week ago, you called her again.

Only so often would you keep in touch with your sister because she couldn’t know you as you were now and if she knew, she would be put into danger. She wasn't one to believe supernatural things and most likely she would try to fight Jongdae for touching you – well, that is if she cared about you the way she once did.

There was something different with her now and you often heard her sniffling to herself every time you called – and your sister wasn't a chronic crier. The two of you had talked briefly today and only then did her tears remind you of what the day was. The death anniversary of your parents.

You hadn’t even thought of them since you had been turned and the thought made you depressed. How would they have felt if they were alive? Their little girl was now a vampire and living with a house full of men. That thought made you laugh because your father would have had a fit.

With thoughts of your parents on your mind, you drifted outside to get some fresh air and some space away from Jongdae. Rolling out of bed, you wrapped a rob around your pajama clad body and you headed down the stairs. You knew you wouldn't have much time alone because the other vampires would hear that you were awake soon so you tried your best to be quiet while you hurried.

Not only would Jongdae come for you, but you would be annoyed by Baekhyun if he thought no one was around. Clearly, nothing you could do would scare him off.

Sitting outside during the morning was something you had enjoyed and you were thankful that even being a vampire didn't restrict that the way the tales did. The most it did, was cause your skin to tingle. However, it was only eight in the morning when you felt your skin begin to tingle even more and when you looked behind you, you saw messy-haired Yixing standing behind you.

Yixing was the first to find you outside only moments after you had sat down on the wrought iron bench. You knew Yixing could sense the change in your demeanor this morning because his eyes were soft as he looked at you.

You could still feel your heart ache as you looked at him. While you craved Jongdae in a way, there were ways you craved Yixing and it made staying away from him hard. Which you had been trying to stay away from him in the past months and it was hard. The two of you still talked and he brought you books on occasions but no more blood sharing took place. In fact, he would stay as far away from you as he could when the two of you were in the same room.

It didn't matter how far he was from you though because you could feel his eyes on you constantly and you were sure that he too could feel your eyes on him.

"You're distressed," he said as more of a statement than a question.

"How did you know?" You asked as you flicked your eyes back out into the forest that was behind the manor.

Your ears twitched as you listened to Yixing's quiet steps towards you. "I always know."

Tapping your fingers against your arm, you sighed. "That's cryptic."

A small laugh escaped him, "We just have a connection – maybe on my end more than yours, but I can feel a lot of your emotions," he admitted.

"How do you know they aren't your own emotions?" You wondered with a raised eyebrow as he sat next to you, maintaining a proper distance between the two of you.

Looking out into the forest, Yixing contorted his face, "I can feel that it's you. Trust me. Nice to know it's only me that picks up on you," he said giving you a playful nudge of his elbow.

A smile played at the corner of your lips, "If I could pick up on your emotions, I would. Trust me."

Yixing said nothing to that.

You watch as the leaves of the forest trees ripple in the soft wind. Every soft movement reminded you that even though you were undead, that you were alive. The littlest things in the world continued to move around you making your thoughts drift back to your parents who unlike you, never got the chance to fully live. Now that you had believed in the supernatural since well, you had to, you wondered if there was a way to connect to them or to talk to them somehow. Were they in heaven? If so, could you speak to someone in heaven?

But were you even allowed? Weren't you an abomination? Would God even accept you?

The world was a mystery to humans but you thought that it had to be just as much so for the supernatural – whatever else there was out there that you had yet to ask about.

"Do ghosts exist?"

Yixing's gaze snapped over to you once more, "Why do you ask?"

You didn't want to talk about them out loud. You wanted to mourn in silence. "I'm curious."

"They do but there is more to that answer than just that. I'm not the best person to ask about that. Actually, it's Sehun."

Choking on air, you looked at him, "Sehun has an interest in something other than himself?"

Yixing gave you a smile, his dimples deepening, "Surprisingly, yes. He lost a close friend some time ago so he learned everything he could – but don't mention the friend," and you swear Yixing flinched when he said that.

"I guess if I really want to know, I'll have to really psych myself up to it."

"I'm sure he'll overhear this conversation since he loves hearing about himself," Yixing laughed nudging you again.

"I'm certain that at this point I know more about him than he knows about me – and there isn't much too Sehun." Anytime you had been around Sehun was filled with him talking himself up and rambling about how good he looked. It made you laugh because even though it was arrogant, you found it adorable while at first you never thought you could see Sehun as adorable seeing as how he initially looked intimidating to you.

Now the thought of any of the vampires in the house being intimidating seemed like a joke. They all proved to be soft and fluffy in their own ways and it still never ceased to amaze you.

"So, are you feeling better?" Yixing asked as you continued to watch the leaves dance.

"You tell me that," you replied.

You weren't feeling better but you were distracted at least, and you guessed that was a good start. There was a time when you couldn't be distracted from mourning them but it had been seven years since they had died and just like you almost had, you often forgot their death anniversary. It never hurt any less that they were gone but it just got easier. Never better, but at least easier. "I'm getting mixed signals," he whispered.

Shouldn’t your life had gotten less complicated as a vampire? Not having to worry about the things you used to as a human and definitely having fewer needs? No, it only got more complicated.

Especially since you were stuck between two vampires.

It was something you didn't admit often but you knew you had feelings for Jongdae and Yixing now that you had the chance to be around the both of them without anything intimate happening.

Mixed signals was right because that's exactly what your heart was sending you and you couldn't help but miss the days when you had no interest in men. Times before Jongdae, Yixing, and the red flash of your eyes.

Sometimes you wanted to burn the damn mate mark off your hip but it was always no more than a thought because you were too much of a victim to the way Yixing sent you warmth and Jongdae sent you sparks.

"Y/N?" Jongdae called out from the door leading to where you were sitting.

You turned back towards him and saw his disheveled appearance. Taking it in, you sighed and stood up. "I'll talk to you later, Yixing." But you weren't so sure you would since Yixing and you didn't talk much anymore. Was it because he caught you staring at his lips or because you caught him staring at your lips nearly every time?

Jongdae reached out for you as you neared him and when his fingers brushed your skin, the sparks ignited. "Are you okay?" He asked in a frantic tone, "I had a bad dream."

Wrapping your hand around his wrist, you pulled him back into the house, "I'm okay," you lied. When had you gotten so soft for Jongdae? You hadn't known and you didn't want to think of it as you pulled him up the stairs and back into the bedroom you shared with him.

For hours, you let him nuzzle into your neck as he told you about his dream that sent chills down your spine.

He mentioned your parents and how they had died.

In fact, he had seen how they died in his dream.

You didn't know the connection or how Jongdae had seen the exact details of your parents’ death but you couldn't shake the feeling of impending doom that spread throughout your bones.

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽

Awaking from a soft sleep, you felt Jongdae's arm around your waist. You turned around to look at him, not even remembering falling asleep.

Jongdae's eyes were wide and it was then that you noticed the bags under them. It wasn't from lack of sleep because if anything, the two or you had gotten even more sleep together lately. Unintentionally, your hand shot out to rub the circles under his eyes. "What's wrong?" You found yourself asking.

He tried to shake it off as if it was nothing and he just pulled you closer. "It's nothing, my dear Primrose."

"Jongdae," you spoke firmly.

His eyes wouldn't meet yours as he said, "I'm hungry."

You stared unblinkingly, "When is the last time you fed?"

Silence.

Grabbing his cheeks, you watched his eyes grow wider, "When was the last time you fed?" You reiterated.

"Love-"

"Dammit, Jongdae. How come I was forced to feed when you can just go hungry and expect me not to care?"

He sighed, "I don't expect you to care. I'm okay just caring about you."

Shaking your head, and tightened your grip on him, "I know that I don’t always treat you the best and I'm still working everything out, but I do care about you, Jongdae. Now tell me," you went on, "when was the last time you fed?"

"When I bit you," he mumbled, shame crossing his face.

Your heart sunk and you felt your body shaking, "Jongdae, you've got to be kidding me! If that's true, why haven't you fed?"

Tears brimmed his eyes, "I just... knowing... what I did to you, I didn't feel like I deserved to feed and I knew you were hurting and it didn't seem fair. I wanted to hurt too since I had hurt you. I've felt guilty just looking at blood since my last memory is of turning you."

A tear fell and you wiped it away, "Oh, Jongdae. Please don’t starve because of me. I'm not hurting anymore, okay?"

In that moment, you realized how weak he looked and how much skinnier he had gotten in the past year. "How have you lasted so long being well?"

Licking his lips, he looked you in the eyes, burning you straight to your soul. "The last blood I had was yours and your blood makes me the strongest."

He had lasted a whole year without feeding and it made you sick considering that to feel good, you needed to feed weekly and daily if you were training. "I wish you hadn't done that," you whispered, feeling a tear fall from your eyes, "I never wanted you to be hurt."

Jongdae wiped it away and brushed his fingers across your pouting lips, "I've done so much damage to you. You are the one who didn't deserve it."

Before any coherent thought could form in your head, you pressed your lips to Jongdae's, causing him to gasp in response. He kissed you back, pressing his fingers into your hair and your whole body seemed to light up with his sparks. You trembled under his hold but this just made you grasp his face tighter. The taste of Jongdae's lips was something you hadn't tasted in so long that it almost felt new.

You had never done drugs before but you imagined this is what drugs tasted like to an addict. Jongdae pulled away after a moment and he looked at you with bright red eyes. "Why did you do that?" He asked with a pant to his voice.

With a shrug, you dropped your hands from his face and placed them on his neck, "I don't know. It just felt right."

A coy smile spread onto his lips. "You have no idea how happy that makes me."

His warm red eyes were searching your face and then you knew what you needed to do. Jongdae had been so good to you. Standing by, not pushing a relationship on you, letting you feed from someone other than him and then not even keeping you from that same person when he knew you two had feelings for each other. So easily he could have tried to force the relationship on you, but he didn't. He just stood on the sides, waiting for you to come to him and until you were comfortable. He offered to heal you and to give you his blood, no matter how much you declined and he offered his heart, no matter how much you threw it on the ground.

Jongdae wasn't the evil forceful man you thought of him to once be. He was good and as good as good could get. So, you would let him feed on you because he needed the strength and deserved it for offering you the same when you were weak. "Feed on me, Dae."

He froze. "What?"

"Feed from me."

"Are you sure?" He asked hesitantly but you saw his red irises start to shake.

You nodded and pulled his head down to your neck, "Please. Just don't go too far," and you didn't have to say in what way because you knew that he knew.

"You don't have to do this," he reminded with his lips gentle on your neck, "I can feed from anything."

You shook your head, "I want it to be me."

Jongdae pulled his head back up so his eyes could meet yours and he pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, "I have years of control," he stopped for a moment, "I know the first time was an accident but I promise, if and when you want me to stop, I can. It won't be like the first time."

"I know what it's like," you said without thinking.

Closing his eyes, Jongdae sighed, "I know. Yixing feed from you." The hurt etched onto his face looked so permanent that you wanted to do anything to take it away.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

He half-smiled, "It's okay. You have free will to feed on whomever or to be fed from. Just like now. Okay? So don't take anything you don't want."

But you wanted it. You wanted to help and heal Jongdae. Maybe it was because you were vulnerable about your parents' death seven years ago or maybe it Jongdae was finally breaking your resolve. Either way, you wanted to feel his fangs in your neck the way you had felt Yixing's. "Please. Just bite me."

After a few minutes, Jongdae moved back to your neck, pressing kisses on the skin before running his fangs against the delicate skin. "Are you sure?" He said in a sultry voice

"Yes."

His fangs pressed into your skin all at once and you slumped into his arms and into the bed. He was gentle as he pulled you closer to him and began to suck at your skin. You felt blood being pulled away from your veins and into his mouth and it made a moan escape your lips. Jongdae groaned in response and bit down harder but it didn't hurt the way you thought it would and it just spread the feeling of ecstasy through your body. Sparks bounced around inside you and it left you a shaking mess in Jongdae's arms. You could feel yourself getting wet just from the contact and it made you press your legs tightly together.

Jongdae's hand caressed your waist as he continued drawing blood from your neck and you swore you could feel his hand trembling as well. When you pushed yourself closer to him, a moan fell from his lips and vibrated against your skin. You felt warm – too warm and you wanted Jongdae's clothes off. You wanted to feel his naked body against yours so you could feel every little spark that each cell of his skin drew on your body.

It took everything in you not to grab at his pants the moment you felt how hard he was and thankfully, at that point, Jongdae pulled his fangs from you and gently licked at the place his fangs had been. His breath was catching in his throat as he cleaned your neck gently.

"That's not even half of how intense that can be," he said in a low and cracked voice.

His eyes were no longer red and the bags underneath were faded as you watched.

"I feel much better, thank you."

Jongdae had never looked more beautiful than in that moment, you thought. You wanted all of him, to yourself, forever. "I want you," you mumbled.

Your eyes were red and you could feel the stark difference in them as Jongdae caressed your cheek, "Blood sharing makes you feel that way. Don't let it sway you, my love. As much as I want to have you only mine forever, I'm not going to do anything you're not ready for."

"No. I want you. Forever," you said firmly. Part of you felt like you were spinning out of control, while the other part felt perfectly sane. Blood sharing was surely clouding you from thinking straight but it didn't matter to you. Jongdae was your mate for life no matter what. The sparrow on your hip proved as much, so why not take it a step further?

"What are you asking for?" He said in a broken voice.

"I want to feed from you."

His brown eyes were wide, "That will complete the mating ritual and you will be bond to me eternally – you will really be my Primrose then. Are you sure that's what you want?"

You nodded, feeling in somewhat of a trance. "I'm already yours. I can feel it in my bones."

A skeptical look was on his face, "I don’t know love. It feels a little risky. I'm not sure you're ready for that – you still have feelings for Yixing."

"I want you. I like you, Jongdae. Please. I want this. Please."

Rolling over on his back, Jongdae pulled you on top of him. "If you truly want this, bite me. I won't stop you, but you need to know what this entitles, love-" but before he could go on, you were leaning down and pressing your lips to his neck. His words got lost on his tongue and he snapped his mouth closed.

Your fangs brushed his neck and you felt a thrill running through you. Without further thinking, you pressed your fangs into him and before you could stop it, you sucked at his blood gently. Jongdae quivered underneath you and moaned uncontrollably. His arousal was apparent under you and it throbbed just as you felt your core do as you pressed yourself closer to his body and rubbed yourself gently against him.

Jongdae's hands shot up and clutched your hip bones to keep you from moving as your fangs dug deeper into his skin and caused his hips to buck gently against yours. You could feel him lose control and unravel underneath you and it made you smile.

The moment you stopped sucking his blood and went to pull your fangs free, you felt venom eject from your fangs and into his veins. Jongdae's grip grew so tight on you that you swore you would break as he moaned out your name.

Sparks erupted more than they ever had and you felt like your whole body was electrocuted but yet in a blissful way instead of painful. You felt more pleasure doing so than any orgasm you had ever felt and it left you breathless. Eventually, your fangs retracted and you slumped down onto Jongdae.

"Wow," Jongdae gritted out.

You closed your eyes, "I think I love you," you heard yourself say.

It felt like an out of body experience as the words tumbled from your mouth. You wanted to scream and take them back, but you couldn't because they were true. You just completed the mating bond ritual with Jongdae and now you were bound to him. And you were scared.

"You know I love you," Jongdae said trying to catch his breath. "So much. And now you're really mine," he said nuzzling into you.

Coming down from your high, you started to feel fear and panic wash over you and all you knew was that you had to get out of here and out of Jongdae's arms.

What had you just done?

You could feel the way your heart had stopped and the way your pulse hammered against your wrists.

You had to leave. You couldn't love him. You couldn't be his mate. You couldn't be here.

Why?

Because you were scared.

Terrified.

And while you couldn't give that many good reasons to leave, you knew you had to or you felt you were going to go insane.

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽

Packing very little things into a small backpack, you watched Jongdae's sleeping form with fear. The moment you left, he would know and you had no idea how much this mate bond intensified it all so you had to be quick. All of your days running with Junmyeon would finally come in handy.

You were leaving Jongdae and while it hurt, you couldn't stop your feet from getting you the hell out of there.

He was your mate.

He loved you.

And you were starting to love him.

It would be easy to stay and accept this love but you couldn't.

You weren't one for easy and you weren't one to fall for fate.

There was part of you that wanted to stay and curl up into his arms forever but another part of you was afraid of the way you could now hear Jongdae’s heart beat in your head and you felt a constant spark in your chest.

But the moment you had your bag over your back and you were out the back door of the manor, you felt warmth and your eyes shot to beside you to where Yixing had appeared. "You can't leave," he said in a desperate voice.

Your hands that clutched the straps of the bag, trembling as your knuckles turned white. You maybe loved Yixing too yet you had decided to complete the mating bond and nothing made you feel sicker. You had to leave. This proved it. Staying would only hurt you, Jongdae, and Yixing. "What?" You asked quietly, hoping not to wake Jongdae who was probably only stirring from his sleep as you noticed a change in his heartbeat pattern.

"You completed the bond," and the hurt was evident on his face, "so you can't leave."

You looked down at your feet, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

"Yes, you did. And that's okay, he's your mate. But you can't leave."

"I didn't mean to hurt you," you whispered.

He walked over to you and grabbed your chin to pull your gaze up, "You'll hurt me if you leave, darling."

"But I have to," you argued in a small voice. "I can't be here. It's too much." And while your mind told you that you had a good reason to leave, your heart was screaming otherwise.

Yixing's lips trembled. "If you leave, you'll die."

"What?" You asked in shock.

He nodded solemnly. "Once the mating bond is complete, if you leave your mate and are away from them for too long, you will slowly die – regardless of how much blood you get your hands on. You will die just from not being around Jongdae... and so will he. It's one of the only ways you can truly die."

You could feel your pupils shake from this new information. "But why?"

"It's just how it is," he said as his hand on your chin sent you warmth, "That's why it was suggested you wait until you're ready."

Yixing must have thought the information would make you stay but if anything, it only scared you more. You were shaking so much that you could barely see straight but you knew you had to get out of there. The fact that you could die without Jongdae only made you want to run away more and your mind started to reject any sane thought that tried to press into your head. "I'm sorry," you whispered as you lifted up to press your lips gently to Yixing's.

You felt a tear drop from your eyes and land onto Yixing's cheek. His eyes were closed and you felt his arm wrap around your wrist as you continued to kiss him. In your head, you were saying 'sorry' over and over to both him and Jongdae. Warmth filled your body once more before you pulled away from the kiss and before he could open his eyes, you shook yourself from his hold and ran. As fast as you could.

The last thing you could hear was his voice calling for you as the warmth escaped your body and you went cold.

✧ ☾five☽ ✧

masterlist

Tagging: @exodirtymind (thank you for the love and support, dear) and @astronomyturtle.

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yeolsmuffin · 7 years ago

Text

Primrose - Jongdae | Part 3 [M]

Genre: Angst & Mature | AU!Vampire/Soulmate Chen, AU!Vampire/Soulmate Reader|

Pairing: chenXreader, layXreader (why am I doing this to us?)

Word Count: 5.2k

One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six |

“Don’t be,” he said. “I like helping you.”

And like that, you and Yixing had started to grow closer. He was around you often and caring for you since you wouldn’t allow Jongdae to and while Jongdae had yet to give up, you had yet to give in. The warmth Yixing had been providing you with his touches and company was enough.

You weren’t sure what you were feeling, but you started having feelings for Yixing – you just hoped they were platonic.

The blush on your cheeks when he entered the room told you otherwise. But then there was the look of depression in Jongdae’s eyes every time he visited you and that reminded you that you had this strange sense of caring for him even if you didn’t want to. You wanted to look at him and only him but you wouldn’t let yourself.

Maybe since you fought it so hard, it made your eyes wander more than they would if you had accepted Jongdae.

But it was too late to turn back now.

You had already denied him for so long and you weren’t sure what you were going to do yet but you knew you needed to keep Jongdae as far as possible.

"She's getting weaker," Jongdae said in a tired voice, "What do we do?"

Junmyeon let out a sigh and pressed his forefinger and thumb to his nose. "I don't know. We've never dealt with a mate before let alone a human one at that. I only know from what I've seen and the studies I've done – and well, none of those were about humans."

Minseok pressed his palms roughly against the table. "Normally, mates of vampires are only other vampires and I've never heard of anything like this case. We ourselves haven't dealt with many made vampires either so how do we make her feed?"

It had been a long month since you had been turned by accident by Jongdae and while you had woken up a week after being turned, you refused to feed or accept yourself as you were. You had been resistant to Jongdae and anyone's help. You hadn’t been humored when you found out that it wasn't exactly the easiest thing to off a vampire. There were two ways you could die. One is being killed by someone else and the other was to be separated from Jongdae for a long period of time – but you had yet to know of the second part since Jongdae knew that once you knew that, you would be gone. Jongdae didn't want you to get more motivated to leave.

Much to Jongdae's distaste, you were being kept in a guest bedroom and someone was on constant watch for you. Most of the time it was Yixing which was starting to make his blood boil. While you would talk with Yixing, you would barely talk to Jongdae during the times he came to watch over you. He could tell you didn’t want him around but he had to remind himself that it was for your best interest even if you despised him for it in the end. All he wanted to do was protect you and the best way he could do that was to be around you.

You were too weak to try to run away or even to do things for yourself and Jongdae was about to reach his breaking point. You needed to feed and you needed to feed soon. Yixing’s healing touch could only help you so much and you refused to let Jongdae touch you. If you would only drink his blood you would feel so much better.

"She couldn't run away if she wanted to now," Jongdae said sadly. You were skinny – too skinny. Your body weight had dropped significantly since being turned and the curves of your body that you had once before were hollow and most of your bones were sharply sticking out. You had dark bags under your eyes and your cheeks were hollow. Just moving around the room you stayed in was a task and you fell easily but despite the pain, you wouldn't let Jongdae heal you with his blood. "While I don't want her to be able to leave, I don't want her incapable."

Yixing sighed, "She looks bad and I've even offered human blood from a blood bank or even Jongdae's blood in a cup if that would make her happy, but she won't take it."

Minseok nodded, “From what I know, she needs to feed straight from the tap the first few times for her fangs to come in all the way. She’s probably in extreme pain and while giving her blood would perk her up, her fangs would still be aching.”

With a shake of his head, Jongdae closed his eyes, “She won’t drink from human and she sure as hell won’t drink from me.”

Junmyeon bit his lip. “Minseok,” he said carefully and when he had his attention he went on, saying his words low and slowly while he eyed Jongdae. “is it possible for her to feed off of someone else?”

The words had barely come out of Junmyeon’s mouth before Jongdae was standing, his eyes a flaming red color. “Absolutely not. She’s my mate. You know how intimate blood sharing is between vampires!”

Minseok took a deep breath and stood, ignoring Jongdae’s outburst. “Yes. That would suffice. While human blood would be best, and Jongdae’s blood will be better, another vampire can do.” Minseok walked over to Jongdae and put both hands on his shoulders, “Sit down,” he ordered, “you need to think about her, not yourself.”

Jongdae was going to argue but Minseok had a strength advantage and was eventually able to force Jongdae to sit. He crossed his arms over his chest, resembling a small child but he didn’t care. He didn’t want his mate drinking from one of his brothers. It was wrong and it just wasn’t fair – but he didn’t know if he had a choice. “She doesn’t trust anyone,” Jongdae murmured.

“Actually,” Junmyeon started causing a glare to shoot his way from Jongdae, “She trusts Yixing.”

Jongdae’s glare snapped over to Yixing but Yixing was already shaking his head and putting his hands up. “Absolutely not. I have nothing against the girl but,” he pointed at Jongdae, “do you see how he’s fucking looking at me? Yeah, I don’t want to fight with him anymore than we have already gone at it.”

A snort came from the doorway and the four men looked in that direction. Black haired Baekhyun was standing there leaning against the frame.

"Excuse me, this conversation is only for adults," Jongdae sneered.

Baekhyun laughed, "I'm older than you asshole."

"I meant in terms of mentality," Jongdae retorted.

Baekhyun waved him off, "Anyways. If you would prefer that Yixing isn't the one she feeds from, I'll do it. I happen to think she's pretty damn hot so I'd love to have those lips wrapped around my-"

Jongdae was up and across the room in the blink of an eye, he had a hand wrapped around Baekhyun's throat but Baekhyun just smiled at him.

"Throat. I was going to say throat."

"Let's face it. She only trusts Yixing and he's one of the more trustworthy ones of us. Yixing, let Y/N feed off you," Junmyeon said, ignoring Jongdae and Baekhyun.

Yixing nodded slowly, listening to his leader. "I'll do it for her but you need to rein in possessive ass Jongdae." He turned his head towards Jongdae as Jongdae released his hold on Baekhyun, "It's not like I can take you from her, Jongdae. She's yours and we all know it – even she does."

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽

A soft rap sounded against your door and while you wanted to speak and tell them to go away, you couldn't find your voice. Your throat was burning and closed up so instead, you sunk further in the blankets.

"Y/N," Yixing's soft voice said. You heard the door click behind him and you pulled the blanket down from your body and tried to sit up. "Oh my god," he whispered. "You look awful."

"Thanks," you croaked out.

Yixing walked towards you and sat on the end of the bed. While he may have been like the rest of the guys here, you trusted Yixing for some reason so you didn't mind the proximity. Something about him calmed you down and made everything feel better even when you felt like you were dying. Jongdae had ignited you with sparks and made your body feel like it had run a marathon, not to mention the way he made your heart feel. It was overwhelming and with Yixing, you didn't have that.

He never forced anything on you the way Jongdae had tried to force you to feed either. Yixing was calm, gentle and listened to you. He was the only one asking about what you wanted and life and he constantly brought you medical books to study.

"We need to talk," he said gently as he watched you trying to sit up. Letting out a small breath, he helped pull you up and while you didn't get the sparks you got with Jongdae, you were overwhelmed with warmth when he touched you.

You dropped your hands to your lap and tilted your head, "About?"

“You need to feed-“

But before he could finish his words, you were shaking your head. “No,” you forced out, your throat raw.

A breath escaped from Yixing’s nose. “Listen, I'm going to let you in on something. You can't die from starvation. You cannot. The only thing you're doing is causing yourself pain. There are only two ways you can die – and I assure you, they won't happen so don’t think about it. Do you not valid your life? You can still become a doctor like you want to. I've been bringing you all kinds of books to study and we can help you get back into school, Y/N.” his dark eyes bore into yours, “but you have to feed because you can't function in society until you're well fed and know how to control yourself.”

You gave him an unbelieving look. “You already told me I can’t die from starvation and I told you I don’t care. Besides, how can I trust that you’ll help me with all of that when I feed. What about Jongdae?”

He pursed his lips, “What about Jongdae?” He reiterates, “You’re your own person and you know you can trust my words. I've been through medical school at least ten times over and have several degrees. Minseok has studied psychology, music, and foreign languages god knows how many times and Junmyeon has studied ethics and education. You can have whatever life you want just the way you did before. The only difference is you have a lot longer to do so. You want to save people don’t you?”

His words were overwhelming you, just as Yixing always did. You had to remind yourself that if anyone was honest, it was him and if anyone knew what you wanted education wise, it was Yixing who had already been through the schooling you wanted. “I don't want this life.”

Yixing gave you a sympathetic look, “I know. I was born this way and I've lived this way for over 450 years. It's hard and there were times I wanted to die – not to mention since I haven't found my mate and I have no interest in anyone but them.” Looking towards the door his eyes narrowed, “Don’t hate Jongdae too much. When you lived as long as we have, finding our mate is a big deal. It's hard to find love because all we want is our true love. You mean a lot to Jongdae and he never intended to give you this life.”

“He doesn't know me,” you said dryly.

Yixing shrugged. “He does in so many ways. The two of you were made for each other and while we don’t know why it's how it is. You being a human wasn’t the way things were supposed to work and how do you think Jongdae feels about that? He didn’t plan on this either, Y/N,” he said gently.

“I'm not ready for commitment regardless of what was planned or what wasn’t.”

“Nobody is asking you to commit right now. We want your health and happiness first and the rest can be figured out later. We aren't forcing anything on you – especially Jongdae. Just give yourself a chance to live and go to school what you want.”

You pulled his gaze to yours, “Do you promise that I can go to school?”

He nodded with a soft smile, his dimples showing. “I swear. I will personally help you re-enroll and figure finances out if you start drinking and try to get used to your new body.” He pressed his fingers to his chin, “Next month. We can do it next month if you get everything under control.”

Furrowing your brows, you stuck your pinky put for Yixing and he chuckled before wrapping his long pinky around yours.

“I promise,” he whispered.

And you trusted him. Something about Yixing was special and he already seemed to be your friend. You had on opposition to feeding though, you wanted to save lives, not take them. Yixing seemed to know this.

He eyed you carefully, “You don’t have to feed on a human but you have to have some blood.”

“I can try the donated blood,” your voice scratched out.

Yixing's face darkened. “That’s not enough. You need to use your fangs and drink from someone.”

Your hands were up and protesting before he could continue.

“Jongdae is still an option,” Yixing whispered in a tone that made you think he was trying not to upset you. “Human blood is ideal but since you won't do that, Jongdae is the next best.”

You shook your head, having flashbacks of him initially biting you and your whole body cringed. Sure you were attracted to him like a magnet but you were still angry about the ordeal and even a bit afraid. You were also afraid of liking him more if you had more contact with him. The sparks that ignited between your two bodies was addicting and while you wanted more, you didn’t at the same way time. If anyone knew you didn’t want that, it was Yixing since you had told him you weren't ready to be with Jongdae and you didn’t know if that's what you wanted.

“I know you don’t want it to be Jongdae so the guys and I have come to one more option and you need to be open-minded.”

Your heart sunk to your stomach as you waited.

“Me. Your last choice is to feed from me.”

“W-what?”

Yixing’s lips formed a hard line, “If not me, it can be any of the other guys but we all know you won’t feed from anyone else. I know you trust me so you know I will help you through it and won't harm you. Although, if you’d prefer Chanyeol or maybe Kai…” he trailed off.

He knew very well that you were slightly afraid of Kai and that Chanyeol was so loud and happy that it scared you. “N-no.”

He nodded, “Me it is.”

“But Yixing,” you protested.

“Do you hear yourself? You're so weak that it kills me. We all want to help you and you won't let us. I'm the last resort, do you understand? I want you to go to school and be a damn great doctor because you have it in you and to do that, you need to be able to walk without breaking your damn legs! Please, Y/N! If not for you, then do it for me.”

A shaky breath passed your lips as you put a hand on Yixing’s shoulder. His words made you feel bad because while you hadn't known him long, Yixing really was important to you. He was the one you had grown closest to and he knew most of the things in your life that you barely told anyone. You were afraid to feed and to accept the monster you were, but you would do it for Yixing and your parents. You had to become the doctor you wanted to be, for them. And to be a doctor, you had to feed. You didn’t want it from a human and you didn’t want it from Jongdae since you were afraid of falling under his spell. With Yixing you didn’t have to worry about hurting anyone or sleeping with him. It was the safest option. “Okay,” you finally agreed.

Yixing smiled, “Really?”

You nodded slightly unsure. All you knew is that you couldn’t feed of Jongdae no matter what.

“You're going to be the best and most beautiful doctor,” Yixing said softly as he put a hand to your cheek. “I just know it.” Warmth spread through your body with his touch.

“I'm afraid,” you whispered.

Yixing brushed his thumb against your cheek, “Don’t be, darling. You'll feel so much better, I promise.”

“How?” you asked in regard to how you would feed on Yixing he picked up on your question immediately.

You were extremely weak so even moving had hurt you. “I'll hold you on my lap while you drink,” he said with a tone you couldn't recognize. “If you're comfortable with that, that is,” he quickly added.

You hesitated. Were you comfortable being held by Yixing? Surely, since you trusted him right? But you couldn't be for certain. You at least knew that you weren’t able to hold yourself up much to feed on him any other way.

“You have to feed, Y/N,” he reminded you. “you're too weak to do it any other way and unless you want to sit on Jongdae’s lap-“

You put a hand on his mouth stopping him, causing his eyebrows to fly upwards as he tried not to smile. He hasn't known all the details of you sleeping with Jongdae and how you had gotten bit so he didn't understand how much the thought of sitting on Jongdae’s lap affected you and made you aroused and scared at the same time. Yixing was definitely the safe choice, you reminded yourself. “No. I'm fine with it.”

Moving his hand from your face, he gently grabbed your hips and pulled your frail body up onto his lap. He dangled your legs across his thighs and your side was pressed into his chest. It was intimate and your body erupted with a warmth that felt like a fire was nearby but at least it wasn’t the position you had been in with Jongdae. No. That was intimate. This wasn’t anything close to the way Jongdae had made you feel.

Your lips quivered at the thought of biting Yixing. It was too scary and what if you hurt him.

His hands trailed from your hips up to your face, “Darling, you can't hurt me. You beat Jongdae up for almost a week straight when you first woke up remember?” he let out a small laugh and you smiled at his light tone. “Besides, hurt would be the last thing I felt. Most vampires enjoy blood sharing with their partners and actually-“ he stopped at the fearful look in your eyes, “I can't lie that it's… well, it can be very intimate but I promise you that I am just here to give you my blood, nothing more but - it will have an effect on the both of us. I have not forgotten that you are Jongdae’s and neither can you no matter how much you wish it wasn’t so.”

Okay, you couldn't lie that you were afraid now. Blood sharing was intimate? What exactly did that mean?

“This is why Jongdae is the second best option for you. Blood sharing between vampires is different than between a vampire and a human and since you wouldn’t do that, well Jongdae is the best option. Obviously, the two of you have well,” he cleared his throat, “been intimate already, things would be more natural with him and things between the two of you could or would be more… uh.. Sexual than with us because. Normally most vampires who aren't mates do it as part of,” he cleared his throat again and you could tell he was uncomfortable, “as part of sex but obviously this is different,” he said as if the last part was supposed to make you feel better. So it seemed blood sharing was something deeper and more sexual than you wanted it to be. Great. Wonderful. You hoped you wouldn’t need to feed off Yixing often.

Without much more thought you tried to move off Yixing’s lap so fast that your leg contorted in an awful angle and your ankle snapped. You cried out as Yixing studied you in his lap and quickly grabbed your ankle, inspecting it.

“Oh god. You broke your ankle.” He said as it started to turn colors and swell, “You're so weak, Y/N. I'm sorry I scared you. I just wanted to be honest because your body is going to react and I didn’t want you to be weirded out or afraid. You need to feed now or you won't heal so well. Please? I promise I'm just here to heal you. I won't do anything to you but hold you. Okay? I promise. You can trust me. I just want you better.”

Your body shook as Yixing held your waist. You were afraid of too many things and the ache if your ankle wasn’t helping. Why did you have to feed at all? It made the situation messier than it already was and it frustrated you.

“Please. Trust me. You only have to feed off of me, or one of the others,” he reminded, “a few times. If you would rather it be someone else, I won't be offended,” he looked so deep into your eyes you were almost sure he could see your soul – well, if you still had one. “do you want one of the others?” he asked.

Before you could stop your head from shaking, it did. “I only trust you,” you said sadly.

Yixing grabbed your chin and turned it towards him as he turned his head away from you, showing you his neck, “Bite,” he said in a gentle voice.

You had your hands so firmly on your thighs that you were sure you were bruising the skin but you were afraid. How did you bite? How did you get blood? How would you stop?

“You'll know what to do,” Yixing said pulling your hands to rest them on his shoulder and rotating your body more towards his. “You can't kill me or anything extreme so don’t worry about that. I'll help you along the way, okay?”

You nodded.

Gently, he pushed your head towards his neck and he said “Bite,” with more of a demand to his voice and it made a hotter warmth spread through you. A small ‘sorry’ escaped his lips as you felt his body tense beneath you. “Just bite down on my neck, okay? Let your body guide you.”

Your eyes slanted over to where his head was tilted away from you and you saw his eyes were tightly closed. Before he could say ‘bite’ in another tone that would drive you crazy, you dropped your lips towards his neck.

“There you go,” he said quietly as your lips pressed against his warm skin. “You're halfway there.”

There was a tightness that you could feel in your teeth as you felt what you assumed were your fangs exposing themselves. Gently, you felt them press against Yixing’s skin and while you wanted to sink them in instinctively, you were afraid if hurting him.

“Go on,” he whispered through what sounded like gritted teeth.

He gently pushed your head, making your fangs sink further into his skin until they were all the way in, causing Yixing to hiss. You were just about to pull back when he stopped you.

“I'm fine. It doesn’t hurt. Remember what I said? You won't hurt me.” You remembered everything. Especially with the near ecstasy feeling you got from having your fangs in him. You felt wrong and you wanted to pull back. Immediately you thought of Jongdae and while your chest tightened, you couldn’t pull back for two reasons. One, it felt good and two, Yixing held you to his neck tightly. “Bite harder,” he instructed and you heard a heavy breath escape him when you did so. You could feel his flesh underneath your teeth and you were surprised how penetrable the skin actually was since it felt so tough. His pulse raced against your fangs and teeth. “Now you should know what to do, just suck.”

The situation felt incredibly intimate the way Yixing described but you tried not to get caught up in it. You began sucking at the wound you had created and blood flowed smoothly into your mouth. Yixin’s blood was thick and sweet. It made everything in you feel like it was coming to life again and it relieved your parched throat. You couldn’t ignore the heat between your legs no matter how hard you tried and how bad you felt. Yixing had grown noticeably aroused and while it was weird, you didn't feel upset at him for it. He explained how this situation normally went down and that you both would react to it. It was normal and didn’t mean anything for the two of you. It didn’t mean anything that your body was reacting in the same way as Yixing’s. It didn’t.

Guilt was fogging you because you felt disloyal to Jongdae but you had to remind yourself that you didn’t owe him anything. He had turned you without your permission and whole you were his mate in some twisted way, you knew you still had free will. Besides, Yixing had gotten Jongdae’s okay.

Not that it mattered.

It didn’t.

You didn’t owe anything to him, right?

Well, then why did you feel like you did?

Why were you feeling so sexually attracted to Yixing too?

Why did you trust him so much?

Why did you ignite with warmth when he touched you?

The thoughts were pushed away when Yixing rubbed your back gently with his visibly shaking hands. “You're doing great,” he said with an unsteady tone. “Take what you need to feel better.”

You could feel Yixing’s arousal pressed against your thigh even though he tried to adjust you away from it and in that moment you wanted to feel his lips against you and his skin on yours. The thoughts overwhelmed you so much that a moan slipped from you and against Yixing’s neck. He stiffened more but continued to rub your back. You wanted Yixing’s hands on your bare skin and you were thankful you couldn’t speak because you were afraid of what you may ask in such a situation.

Every now and then, you heard a breath pass his clenched teeth, but nothing more. Unfortunately, another moan passed your lips a bit after the other, causing you to flush and try to retract your teeth. Yixing stopped you by placing a hand back on your head. “Shh. It's fine. Drink a bit more,” and you weren't sure if he was asking you to for his sake or yours but the pleasure that flowed through you while drinking from him, made you feel like you could climax from the littlest of stimulation. You were immediately thankful you hadn't drunk Jongdae’s blood because you could barely resist Yixing and you knew resisting Jongdae would be even harder.

Eventually, you felt full and your teeth retracted on their own, leaving you with just lips pressed against Yixing. He was breathing heavily as you pulled away and your eyes met his again. He looked dazed and aroused at the same time. While you felt almost drunk, you also felt incredibly rejuvenated for the first time in a whole month. Your ankle was back to a normal color and it no longer ached. Unfortunately, you sexually ached now and you were sure so did Yixing.

For a few moments, Yixing didn't move you as he panted. “See what I mean?” he whispered. “it's intense.”

Your throat was no longer constricted or dry, “Is it like this even for two strangers blood sharing?” you asked curiously.

Yixing’s face contorted, “Well…” he trailed off ignoring your gaze.

“Yixing, I trust you please don’t make that any different.”

He sighed, still trying to regain his composure as you noticed he was hard beneath you still. “No. Having a connection with the person makes it more intimate.” And immediately his words made you not want to ask any more questions. Something was between you and him, but you didn’t know what.

When he sat up towards you fully, you noticed his extended fangs and you reached your hand out towards them. “Do you need to…?”

“Feed from you?” he asked in a low voice. “it was just a reaction to the situation. Me feeding on you… it would be much harder to control the situation and things could get much more inappropriate than they already have and that's already more than you, me and Jongdae are comfortable with.” Yixing removed you gently from his lap and sat you on the bed.

He stood up and tried his best to hide his arousal but you knew it was there.

“If you need anything, get either Jongdae, Minseok or Junmyeon. It's best you and I stay away from each other for a while – just trust me. It should get easier with each feeding but if you need anything… you know, don’t be afraid to go to Jongdae.” You shivered at his insinuation.

And when he opened the door to leave, you could practically feel how near Jongdae was and you could see his shadow lurking around one of the corners. It was so easy to tune into Jongdae and especially now that you felt rejuvenated and refreshed.

Even though Yixing gave you one last sympathetic look before closing the door, you could hear their conversation which you assumed they didn't intend.

"Don't look at me like that," Yixing hissed.

"I'm happy you can help her, but if you were in my position, you would be feeling the same," Jongdae's voice was sad and you felt your heart ache at his tone.

There was a pause before Yixing spoke. "You're reading into this too much, Jongdae."

"You should look in the mirror before saying that."

"You know feedings are intimate."

Jongdae scoffed, "Of course they are, but having a connection makes them intensified and I'm old enough to be able to see it in your eyes. You have feelings for her." The anger that was emitting from Jongdae was so strong that you were sure that maybe the whole house could feel it.

"She's yours, Jongdae. There's no need to get defensive."

Yixing must have walked away because Jongdae's voice got louder. "When you can't even deny feelings for her, I think I have every right to get defensive."

The dark garnet sparrow that was engraved on the skin of your hipbone, you wanted to burn it off. You wanted to burn it off, run away and never look back.

Then you would slip away.

✧ ☾ four☽ ✧

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yeolsmuffin · 7 years ago

Text

Primrose - Jongdae | Part 1 [M]

Genre: Angst & Smut | AU!Vampire/Soulmate Chen, AU!Vampire/Soulmate Reader|

Pairing: chenXreader

Word Count: 6.9k

One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six |

"I absolutely don't want to go tonight," you whined at your older sister who was curling her hair in the bathroom of the apartment the two of you shared.

Her reflection rolled its eyes at you, "You never want to go out. You're such a buzzkill," she groaned.

You couldn't help but shrug. You didn't care that you were a 'buzz kill', unlike what your twenty-six-year-old sister thought, there was more to life than partying. You thought that she should have been the younger sister with the way she acted and how irresponsible she was. "I have to study for a chem test."

She scoffed, "It seems all you every do is study."

It was something she wouldn't know much about. She failed straight out of college and while you saw there were some people in the world that weren't meant for college you knew that wasn't the case – it was that your sister was lazy and would be happiest marrying someone wealthy. It was like the contrast of night and day between your sister. She had spent years chasing men and you had spent years chasing an education. While you loved her, the two of you didn't always see eye to eye.

Sometimes you wondered if it was because the two of you didn't have parents anymore. You were half sisters and her father left when she was two years old, whereas yours stuck it out and became the only father she knew when you were born. She loved your father but she was six when he came around and at that point, she knew he wasn't her real father. Your mother and father had died when you were fourteen and at the age of twenty, your sister stepped up to be your guardian. You knew the situation played a big part in your relationship and how she was today, but you had no idea if she had always been this way or not – too many years of your life had become a blur. "It will be fun, Y/N," she said in a flustered tone.

You sighed. "Okay." You would do it for her and only her but you hoped she wouldn't bring a guy home tonight because you were not in the mood for the awkward morning after in which her pick of the previous night tried to stick around for breakfast.

"Maybe you'll meet someone," she said trying to catch your eyes in the mirror. You looked off into the distance. She wanted you to meet a wealthy man just as badly as she wanted one.

You snorted, "I'm not interested."

"There's more to life than school," she pursed her lips and you decided to say nothing and leave the room. Maybe there was more to life than school for her, but it was all you had. Your dreams of being a doctor were what kept you breathing every day. Even on the days when breathing and staying alive got hard. The monotony of life was too much to bear – but yet you didn't want to do anything to break it.

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽

The club was worse than you thought.

Every so often an attractive man would pass by, but most everyone was just giving you the creeps. You had given up early on at trying to have fun and resorted to leaning against a dark corner of the bar and drawing circles into the wood as you mentally studied everything you remembered that was on your upcoming chem test.

"Come have fun," your pretty-much-drunk sister would beg of you every few minutes and each time you replied the same.

"I am having fun," you lied.

This time she lifted her lip at you and let out a growl.

Why don't you find a man to prey on? You wanted to ask. But you couldn't say it. You never did. You let her make your choices while you watched because after all, she was the one who had raised you.

You were repeating an equation in your head like a chant when suddenly the air around you changed, causing you to lift up your head from the bar for the moment and all of the breath left your lungs.

Shivers raked down your back and over your body as the bar had grown cold. Looking around nobody seemed to notice or maybe they were too sweaty – but you were freezing. That's when your eyes caught a figure who had just entered the club with some friends. It was as if your eyes were a magnet to his body and you couldn't stop staring at the man with dark eyes and perfect hair. Something about him was mysterious and beyond your comprehension.

His gaze flitted over to yours and immediately he stopped walking, causing his friends to bump into each other. He watched you with an intense look, one that was able to pull your eyes away finally. Your cheeks flushed, "God, what the fuck, Y/N?" You whispered to yourself. "You just stared the man down."

He didn't approach you, but you continued to feel his hard gaze on you as he made his way around the club. He may have been looking at you, but everyone was looking at him which made you feel small in comparison. There were other more beautiful women he could have been looking at and while you liked that he was looking at you, part of you wished he would look at them. You weren't worth looking at. You weren't worth the time.

"Do you want a drink, darling?" The friendly bartender asked. Everything about her looked harsh on the outside but she had been making conversation with you whenever she had a free moment. She must have known you were miserable.

"I can't have alcohol," you reminded her.

She shrugged, "There is more to drink than alcohol. How about some lemon water? Maybe it will perk you up."

You nodded, "I would appreciate that." Although you were certain that nothing could properly perk you up in the club.

After a few moments, she passed a drink over the counter to you and gave you a sympathetic smile as she went to tend to the other already half-drunk patrons.

You sipped slowly on the water and started to study using your phone. You mentally cursed yourself for not slipping your small study notebook in your clutch so you could study while your sister partied her heart out.

Time passed by quickly and before you knew it an hour had passed. You stopped studying and instead were trying not to fall asleep while you daydreamed of the mysterious man who had made the entire club turn cold.

Something made goosebumps prickle up on your skin but you tried to ignore it. But after a moment, you looked up and realized why your skin had goosebumps.

The man.

Your lungs squeezed tightly as you lost your breath when the gorgeous man that you had been secretly daydreaming about while lying against the bar came up to you.

He had a smile quirked up at you as you forced your head up from the cold bar and looked at him. Something inside you ticked and you felt different with him around – but you weren’t sure how. “Have you drunk too much?” he asked with his dark eyes lingering over your body.

You knew you should be afraid of him because he looked as if he would break your heart with the simplest words but you couldn’t find the fear – only a giddy nervousness. “Oh no, I’m not a drinker.” You flashed him the ‘x’ that was messily scrawled on the back of your hand.

He laughed, “Ah, too young?” he questioned and you could sense a tone of disappointment in his voice.

Unintentionally, you fluttered your eyes a few times - immediately feeling stupid at how this man was making you feel. “Just barely. I turned twenty a few weeks ago.”

Something sparked in his eyes as he looked at you and it sent chills rattling through your body. He sat down next to you, not bothering to order a drink as he eyed you. “What’s your name?”

There was a particular scent this man had. You were sure it had to be cologne but it was stronger than you had ever smelled before, although quite not enough to make you cough. “Y/N,” you said offering your hand to him.

He raised a brow, staring at your hand for a moment before placing his in yours causing jolts of electricity to flow through your hand and up your arm. You pulled away quickly and he narrowed his gaze, looking at his own hand in curiosity. “I’m Jongdae.”

His name was like music to your ears, sparking something inside your stomach and maybe even your heart. You shook your head, trying to clear your thoughts. You couldn’t understand why you were becoming so infatuated by this seemingly perfect man.

Thoughts of him were flowing through your head. You wanted to know him more – to see more of him. The attraction that you had to him seemed to be magnetic and the pull was too harsh to be able to stop it. You wanted him – and you barely knew him.

The two of you got lost in conversation for what seemed liked hours until you found yourself feeling tired. Talking to Jongdae wasn’t boring in the least – you just hadn’t gotten much sleep lately. You had still enjoyed talking about your classes in college and listening to Jongdae speak about his interest. You found yourself wanting to know everything about him.

“You looked bored,” he noted.

You gave him a small smile, “Not of you talking, I’m just bored being here. I haven’t gotten much excitement lately and this place definitely isn’t what I consider fun,” you said while you raised a brow and looked around the dance floor.

“Why are you here then?” he wondered.

“I was dragged here by my older sister who finds joy in making out with random strangers. She told me it would be fun… and well, it’s not.”

Jongdae licked his lips, “Want to go do something… more interesting?”

You felt your pulse quicken and Jongdae was boring into you with his dark eyes. You were intrigued by his words and you most definitely wanted to do something more interesting with him, even if it meant trouble. You didn’t mind hooking up with Jongdae although you knew it would probably be a mistake. His eyes told you differently. They told you that you definitely wouldn’t regret anything involving him. “Okay,” you agreed. While you were exhausted and you weren’t sure how well your body would function tonight, you couldn’t find it in you to say no. This was your chance at something exciting.

He paused for a moment, eyeing you and taking a shaky breath before grabbing your hand, sparks jolting through you in that moment and as he looked down at your hands once again, and this time you swore he could feel it too. He interlaced your fingers together and you felt yourself being washed with emotions that you were struggling to contain. You felt different with his hand wrapped in yours and you didn’t want it to end. Just a simple hand hold and you felt attached to him – like you never wanted to let go.

As he led you out of the club and to his car, you knew you would end heartbroken with a guy like him but everything he was making you feel you felt like was worth it – at least you thought it was.

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽

Jongdae couldn't believe it was that easy to get in your head. He hadn't even intended on finding a girl tonight but the moment he laid his eyes on you, his whole body froze. Something inside him stirred and he felt things he didn't understand – even after over four hundred years of life.

It wasn't just your beauty that had him practically drooling but it was everything about you. The aura that pulsed off you was unlike any other he felt in the past. You were stubborn, strong-willed, and independent. Not the typical woman he ran into – or human at least. Oh, and then there was your blood. The sweetest and intoxicating scent he had ever had filled his senses.

When he had asked Minseok about it, Minseok had just chuckled and raised an eyebrow. "I have no idea what you're talking about. Did someone drug your blood? You been feeding on addicts now? She smells just like all the other humans in here – dull."

But Minseok was wrong. You smelt entirely different and it seemed as if everything was wanting to pull him to your side.

"Don't get involved," Yixing had warned watching Jongdae's eyes carefully. Jongdae scoffed but Yixing pulled him to his side, "Seriously," he whispered, "I see how you're looking at her and it worries me. You know how attached humans get. If you want a one night stand, find someone who isn't so serious."

Jongdae didn't want anyone else. He wanted you and he wanted you before he lost control. His arousal was high just from your scent but he was also so intrigued by the personality you seemed to have. He wanted to get to know you – which wasn't normal. Hookups or a quick drink is all he would use humans for. Thankfully, he was able to wipe the minds of the simple-minded girls, but one like you would be hard to crack. He tried pressing into your mind but it was as if there was a tough lock on there.

Which led him to where he was, driving his all black car and trying not to speed to your apartment. Being this close to you was dangerous because the last thing he wanted to do was scare you.

From the passenger seat, Jongdae could see you shaking a bit but you didn't come off as afraid. He sensed it was more nervous. Why were you nervous? Jongdae thought his looks paled in comparison to yours so if anyone, he should be nervous.

The two of you didn't talk during the ride though since you were deep in thought and Jongdae had his knuckles tightly on the steering wheel trying his best not to pull over so he could kiss you.

Once he had gotten to your apartment building he pulled into the spot you told him to and he quickly shut off the car so he could open your door for you. You looked shocked as a nervous smile played on your lips.

Jongdae needed every part of you. He wanted so badly to have sex with you but he knew that wasn't all. He wanted to know you, he wanted to be around your scent all of the time and maybe once you were comfortable he would taste your blood – but only then. He had been a vampire for a long time and he was in control enough to not bite out of excitement during sex. Jongdae wanted your consent for it all because it was important that you wanted whatever he would do as much as he did. From the way your eyes followed him, he didn't think it would be a problem.

In the past, he and his clan would just hook up with any girl regardless because they could easily use persuasion or just the power of seduction. With you, Jongdae found that he wanted you to seduce him too.

Something about you was making him feel like less of a vampire and more like a human. He hadn't felt like a human in almost four hundred years. It was something that should have sent him running away from you but instead, he just kept being pulled in your direction.

The second you had opened the door and let Jongdae in he felt like he could barely breathe. Your scent was tangled heavily around all the objects in your house and he could barely smell the scent he assumed belonged to your sister. He wanted to lock himself in your apartment and never leave.

You shifted your weight awkwardly causing Jongdae to look at you, "Do you want something to drink?" You asked with uncertainty.

He smiled at you and stepped forward. His hand cupped your cheeks as the sparks ignited between his hand and the skin of your cheek. He inhaled slowly still not understanding why he got that jolt every time he had touched you but he found that he liked it.

Something was different about you and it seemed to create a reaction he had never experienced nor heard of happening.

A gasp escaped your lips.

"Darling, I just want your beautiful body. You don't need to try to make me comfortable."

"Oh."

Jongdae licked his lips trying to keep his fangs from exposing themselves. "Only if you want me too," he clarified.

You bit down on your lip, drawing his eyes down to your lips. "I do," you whispered.

He could tell by the way you were reacting that you weren't used to contact with men and while typically it would annoy him and turn him off, he found himself glad that not many other men had you in such an intimate way. "Are you shy?" His thumb pressed circles into your cheek.

You shook your head but your facial expression showed otherwise.

"You don't need to be shy, darling. You have nothing to be shy about," leaning down towards you, Jongdae raised his eyebrows. "Is it okay if I kiss you?" He had to be absolutely certain that everything he did to you was wanted.

While you nodded your head, Jongdae let out a small laugh.

"Give me a verbal yes or no, my dear. You're too precious and I want to be sure you want me as much as I want you," Jongdae hadn't used any form of mind control or persuasion on you like he had done in the past with other women because anything from you, he wanted to be natural. He was told he was handsome so it wasn't often he had to persuade women to sleep with him, but he wasn't one for just sleeping around. Jongdae liked drinking blood from all of his human hook ups because if he just wanted sex, he could get that from another vampire and with that so, there wasn't much reason to sleep with humans. But then there was you. Jongdae didn't want your blood.

Well, okay, Jongdae did want your blood but this time was different. He wanted your blood in a consensual way. Jongdae wanted to spend the night making love to you and hearing your beautiful voice. He wanted to get to know you well enough that you would willingly let him drink from you.

"Y-yes," Jongdae's dark eyes searched yours as you stared up at him, your pupils shaking violently.

Jongdae bent down so his lips were just above yours, "What are you so afraid of?" He asked as his lips ghosted over yours.

"Nothing," you said back and while Jongdae wasn't convinced with your words, you pressed your lips to his, making him gasp in shock and melt into you. The sparks ignited between the two of you once again and Jongdae could feel the after effect tingling down to his fingertips. His hands left your cheeks and drifted down to your waist where he clutched desperately. He felt breathless and out of control from your lips and it wasn't something he was used to feeling.

Gently, he backed you into the wall of your living room and your hands laced around his neck, causing him to groan in delight.

He could feel your pulse hammering in your wrists as they rested against his neck and while it should have been hard for him to resist sinking his fangs into your wrist, Jongdae was focused on pleasuring you.

Jongdae nipped at your lips gently as he grabbed the backs of your thighs and urged you to jump up so he could wrap you around his waist. You did has he said and he had to clench his fists to help keep himself from taking you right then and there. Sparks spread throughout his entire body as he was flooded with your scent and warmth. If he didn't know better, he would swear you were a potent drug.

Without needing instruction, Jongdae carried you to your bedroom – which he knew exactly where it was due to how heavily it was covered in your scent. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion but Jongdae pressed kisses to your neck to distract you from asking any questions.

You made a noise that sent chills up Jongdae's spine when he dropped you down to your bed and he hovered above you. So badly he wanted to cuddle up in your sheets with you and never leave – and he considered maybe he would do just that after he made love to you. Surely you seemed to be interested in him enough to not mind if he stayed?

Jongdae kissed at your neck and even though he could feel your pulse racing against his lips, he was able to keep himself and his fangs in check. Your blood would taste so much sweeter if you asked him to drink it and he knew that. You moaned out as he did so and Jongdae felt himself hardening even more than he already was. Everything about you was so beautiful and intoxicating to him.

Your shaking hands tugged at the shirt that he was wearing and he smirked against your neck. While you hadn't been drinking at all, you still seemed to be wasting no time and Jongdae thought with delight that maybe you were just as drunk on him as he was on you. Gently removing your clutched hands from his shirt, Jongdae took his lips off your neck and quickly disposed of his shirt causing your eyes to snap down to his bare chest. Jongdae's hands worked up underneath your shirt, feeling the hot and bare skin of your stomach as he moved them upward.

Once his hands reached the lacy cups of your bra, you made a small whining sound so Jongdae gently squeezed your breasts while looking into your hooded eyes. He gestured for you to sit up and once you did so, he lifted the shirt up over your head and flung it across the room. It went a little farther than he intended due to Jongdae's inhuman like strength but he hoped you didn't notice. Normally he was good at not slipping up and appearing to be a typical human, but being around you was making it hard for him to contain himself.

It was a desire of his since the moment he had laid his eyes on you for you to know his true self. He wanted you to know about his world and for you to love indulging in it. While being fed on wasn't always pleasurable, Jongdae knew if you ever let him, that he would make it pleasurable for you. He would turn it into one of your favorite things and he was sure of that.

Jongdae's eyes shot to your nearly bare chest and your lacy bra. He smirked. The bra was sexy but Jongdae knew you would look much better without it. With a quick movement, he reached behind you, lifted your back off and unsnapped the bra and revealing you to him.

There was just something about your body that was perfect. He hadn't seen a body part he hadn't like and he hadn't even gotten to the best part yet. He pressed kisses to the now bare skin and he tried to suck at the skin of your chest gently but he left dark purple marks in his wake. You didn't seem hurt as you continued to moan even after he left the marks on you. He had noticed in places where his hands would grip your waist, small bruises were forming, but again, you didn't seem bothered.

If he hadn’t been on the verge of sleeping with you, he would have cringed at the marks on your body that he was leaving – but he couldn't get his mind to focus on it.

With the human women in the past, they always were bruised from Jongdae's rough touches but then again, he wasn't used to sleeping with them often. He wasn't used to having a gentle side when it came to sex because he was used to the almost indestructible bodies that vampires had.

Your cheeks were flushed and your eyes were wide as Jongdae removed the rest of your clothes from your body. He took in a sharp breath seeing you naked. And to think he almost left you alone the way Yixing had suggested he do. Jongdae’s hand gently caressed your bare skin, goosebumps raising on your skin as he did so. “You're beautiful,” he murmured and your cheeks just grew hotter.

The insecurity you had was evident, but Jongdae didn’t want you to feel any of it. As far as he was concerned, his eyes would be satisfied if all he could see was you.

He leaned back down over your naked body and captured your lips with his. As he kissed you, his hand trailed down between your legs and he bit back a groan when he felt how wet you were. You shivered under his touch and let out a shaky breath through your nose.

Jongdae’s lips left yours after a few moments and he tried to more gently wrap them around one of your nipples without bruising you. As his tongue shot out around your breast, he pressed a finger gently inside you causing your back to arch and a small moan to escape your lips. He looked up at you, watching your face contort in pleasure as he pressed his finger deeper.

Once he trailed his kisses up to your neck once again, your mouth found his shoulder. He felt your teeth gently nip at his skin and with a groan, he started to pump his finger faster. Jongdae wasn't sure there was anything better than the feeling of your teeth against his skin and even though it was unfamiliar he was reveling in the feeling of the speaks igniting between the two of you.

It felt as if he was being electrocuted and pleasured at the same time when you touched and bit him. Jongdae was barely holding onto his composure as he felt your body tighten as you drew close to climax. You bit down roughly against the tough skin of his neck and Jongdae let out a load moan against your neck. Your pulse was hammering and while Jongdae’s fangs began to ache, he held himself back.

You climaxed around his finger after a few more pumps and Jongdae swore he could listen to the sounds you made all night. When you rode down from your high, Jongdae pulled back and looked at your wide eyes, swollen lips and red cheeks. His eyes flashed close for a moment and he let out a content sigh.

Your fingers tugged at the pants he was wearing and Jongdae’s eyes flew back open. “More?” he asked.

You nodded and Jongdae pulled away from you to remove his pants. As he did so, he caught your stare on him.

“What?” he asked with a playful tone.

“You're oddly beautiful,” you whispered from where you were still sprawled out on the bed.

Jongdae let out a chuckle as he finished undressing and he stared at you with the what felt like a dangerous glint in his eye. He couldn't wait to have you because you were the most intriguing woman he had ever met. He was sure that sex with you was going to be the best he ever had.

He walked towards the bed again, his arousal harder than ever but he wasn’t embarrassed. He was sure of himself and even if he hadn't been, you made him even more sure. Jongdae caught your stare moving down and he just smirked, hoping you enjoyed the sight.

With gentle hands to avoid marking you further, he pulled you up from the bed with him and wrapped his arms around your naked body causing his whole body to ignite with heat and sparks.

Planting feverish kisses to your lips, Jongdae moved back towards the bed and he sat on the edge. You looked confused but he just smiled as he guided you down to straddle his lap. He wanted to see every inch of your face while he was inside of you. He wanted proximity and the ability for either of you to control what happened.

He could feel the tremors that racked down your body as he guided you down onto his length and he couldn't stop the moans that escaped his lips as you did so. Once he was fully inside you, he splayed his hands over your hips and looked into your eyes. "Are you okay?" He asked your shaking form.

You nodded, "I'm fine. I don't know why I'm shaking so much," you said as you let out a nervous chuckle.

"Do you still want this?" He asked being careful not to jostle you around on his lap and make you feel like he was forcing you into something.

"Of course," you whispered and your aura told him everything. You were excited, nervous, afraid, aroused, and another emotion he couldn't pinpoint. Jongdae let out a barely audible 'Ah'. You were so hard to figure out but he found himself being entranced by the fact.

Before Jongdae could do anything, he noticed a familiar dark red marking on your hip and he reminded himself to ask what the meaning of the tattoo was later but there was something screaming in the back of his head. A voice telling him to stop and get out but he knew he was in far too deep to listen to the voice now.

Your arms wrapped around his shoulders and you nuzzled into his neck, making his blood rush. As he thrust up into you, he felt your moan against his skin and he ached to have your teeth in his skin. You were just a human so there was no way you could pierce his thick and tough skin, but that didn't stop Jongdae from daydreaming.

He gripped at you a little too roughly and it seemed that the skin where the red mark was freezing his skin whereas the rest of your body was on fire. It felt like a warning but again, Jongdae pushed it away. He had been too on edge lately – too on edge since he had to see his parents and they were making him paranoid.

The tightening of your walls around him was making him light headed as he continued thrusting inside you at a faster pace. Your moans were breathy and he could feel your soft lips pressing to his shoulders once more. It was even worse that you seemed to be a biter and while you nipped at his skin making his thrusts messier, he wasn't getting the relief he needed from your teeth.

Normally, Jongdae didn’t have this inclination while having sex – and even with vampires at that. He was either having sex strictly to drink the blood of another human or just for relief with another vampire and even then he never wanted to be bit so badly.

Now it was almost like a desperate need. As if he would implode if he couldn't have your teeth sinking into his skin. Almost on instinct, your teeth pressed more roughly against his skin. To you, you may have thought you were being too rough, but to him, it felt like a pinch.

He wanted the full blunt of your bite and he wanted you to blood share with you.

Trying his best, he pushed the thoughts away and moving one hand from your hips to your face, he brought your lips to his. He sucked gently at your lips, taking your moans in his mouth as he did so.

Without meaning, Jongdae had brought you to another climax and his ego was immediately boosted as you moaned out his name several times over. He thrust his length into you harder and urged you to move in synchronization with his hand pressing into your hip. You caught his hint and began to match each of his thrusts.

Out of nowhere when Jongdae felt close to orgasm, something in his body clicked. His body was electrified with the sparks that the two of your skins touching caused and as his lips kissed their way down your jawbone to your neck, he couldn't control himself anymore. His eyes burned with an intensity and he knew they had changed colors when you gasped and your body froze. Before you could react, Jongdae's fangs unsheathed and pressed into the warm skin of your neck.

His fangs punctured deliciously at your soft skin and he moaned into your neck. Your pulse was hammering as he shot venom into your veins. Only then when you had let out an ear piercing scream had Jongdae realized what he had done. You collapsed on top of him and with a horrific look on his face, he released his now dripping with blood fangs from you and he felt himself regain control.

"Oh my God," he cried. "What have I done?"

Pulling himself out of you, he laid you down on the bed and tried to find your pulse. When he didn’t he felt tears pricking at his eyes. He was a monster. He was sure of it.

Hastily, he threw on a large t-shirt over your slumped and cold body and as he gently pulled the underwear up over your body, he saw all the marks he had left on you and it made him cringe. His eyes danced over the red tattoo-like mark before his eyes shot away and he pulled you into his arms and all but flew out of your apartment.

Jongdae couldn’t stop the blood from dripping down your neck and it struck him with such a fear, that his whole body quivered.

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽

Jongdae rushed through the doors of the manor he resided in with his clan, his breathing heavy as hot tears went down his cheeks.

“Yixing!” he roared as he looked for his friend. “Yixing, I need you!”

It didn’t take much for his dark haired friend to appear next to him. Immediately, Yixing’s eyes widened in horror and he took your limp body out of Jongdae’s hands. “What did you do?” he growled. “What did you get us into?”

Jongdae followed Yixing as he led you into his room, laying you down and inspecting your body. "I didn't do anything!" Jongdae exclaimed, "I mean, I didn't mean to! Please help her," he whined out desperately as he tried to stop the tears.

Yixing shook his head but didn't remove his eyes from you as he looked over your lifeless body and the blood that dripped from the wound on your neck. "Didn't I tell you not to mess with her?" He gritted out.

"I couldn't help it!" Jongdae cried as he wiped blurry tears from his eyes and he watched Yixing taking your pulse.

The door flew open revealing Junmyeon and Minseok, both with wide eyes. "What the fuck happened?" They looked down at the girl and then back to him with shock.

"Aren't you old enough to be cleaning up your own messes?" Sehun asked in annoyance when he caught the scent in the air and looked around Junmyeon and Minseok who were still in shock and standing in the doorway.

"Why did you bite her?" Junmyeon asked his words a rushed mess.

Your body was barely covered since Jongdae had rushed you over to his house as quick as he could, but that was the least of his concerns at the moment.

Although, that didn't matter as Junmyeon pressed into the room and over to your form. Jongdae narrowed his eyes at his leader, wondering what exactly he was doing to you. Junmyeon’s eyes caught something as he pushed your shirt up a litte and he let out a gasp.

Jongdae hurried over to his friend and looked at what had shocked him.

The mark.

The soulmate mark.

His soulmate mark.

"Holy shit," Junmyeon exclaimed as he ran a hand across the tattoo like mark that had sat on your hip bone.

It was in the shape of a sparrow and a deep red color just the way the one on Jongdae's shoulder was displayed.

How had he not noticed it? He cursed to himself as he remembered how cold it was and the ways his eyes drifted to it. But how could you be his soulmate? Human’s couldn’t be vampires soulmates?

Minseok stepped forward and tilted his head, "But she's human," his voice breathlessly.

Yixing shot a glance over at the three, "Not for much longer," he gritted out. "This was reckless, Jongdae."

Sehun sauntered into the room, "Oh give him a break, Yixing. It's just a human."

Jongdae tensed and stared at his younger friend.

"She's not just any human." Jongdae hissed, "She's my human."

Yixing groaned and mumbled something to himself as he began prodding your with various medical devices

Sehun pursed his lips. "Is that what we do now? Collect humans for our own?"

"She's his soulmate, Sehun," Junmyeon said showing off your sparrow mark that the whole clan had known Jongdae had.

Sehun scoffed but looking at the marking, he stopped and pressed his fingers to the abnormally cold part of your skin. "But... how?"

Minseok shrugged gently, "It's something me and Junmyeon had never heard of before, that’s sure. Soul mates are always the same species."

"What even happened?" Sehun asked.

Jongdae looked over at you and clasped one of his shaking hands onto your cold arm. "I bit her," he said with venom.

Sehun snorted. "I get that, but why?"

Junmyeon cleared his throat and Minseok rolled his eyes with so much effort it almost could have been heard. "Time to explain the birds and bees to the young Sehun," Minseok joked and Jongdae just stared at his older friend. He couldn’t find the words to express his anger now, but he definitely didn’t appreciate joking around when his soulmate was on the edge of death.

"When vampires are with their mate sexually for the first time, they have a biting and blood sharing ritual that they can't control. Typically, it's not a problem because well... vampires aren't as fragile as humans." Junmyeon explained.

"Is she going to be okay?" Sehun asked and Yixing looked over at him.

With a solemn look on his face, he dropped his eyes back to you, "I don’t know. Biting a human is one thing but Jongdae didn't just bite her. He injected his venom into her and there are only two outcomes. Either she survives and becomes a vampire, or she dies. To be honest," Yixing injected an IV needle into your wrist, "she's weak and the chances or her making it are slim – especially since this wasn't a typical venomous bite but a mating ritual bite. I have no knowledge about what that can do to a human since that's not a bite we can do on command."

"Yixing," Jongdae whined, "She has to live."

Hooking the IV up to a fluid bag, Yixing crossed his arms over his chest, "What did I tell you, Jongdae? Not to meddle with humans – especially her."

Jongdae narrowed his eyes at his friend. "She's my mate!"

"So that makes you not care about her well being?"

Jongdae's grip tightened around your arm, causing his nails to pierce your skin slightly, making your warm and beautiful scented blood come spilling out. Jongdae gasped and Yixing pushed him away from you to care for the new marks on your arm. He started to clean the wounds and bandaged them. "Of course I care for her wellbeing. I've been waiting for her for years. It's not my fault I was drawn to my mate. It’s not my fault she’s a human!"

"Yes, but I told you to stay away," Yixing reminded while working his hands at your skin.

The tension in the air was thick and Minseok gently wrapped a hand around Jongdae's shoulder. "Let's get some fresh air?" He suggested.

But Jongdae tugged away, "I can't leave her."

"Nothing will happen while you're gone," Minseok assured. "Besides, she's in good hands with Yixing."

"I'll join the two of you," Junmyeon suggested. "Sehun, why don't you go inform the other's that Jongdae's mate is here and is recovering with Yixing. Remind them they aren't to bother her or Jongdae."

Sehun groaned but he nodded and sauntered off.

Jongdae pressed a gentle kiss to your too cold body. It was unnatural and made him want to claw his own heart out because just around an hour ago, you had been so warm that Jongdae could have sworn he was on fire. Every touch of your skin had sent sparks through his body, but now, neither of that was so and it made Jongdae sick.

He had waited hundreds of years to find his soulmate - and now he had. There was no second chance at a soulmate and if he lost you, he would die.

More than just figuratively.

✧ ☾ two ☽ ✧

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