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So I've been gone a while

But I just went under contract with selling my house and I have an apartment to move into and my daughter doesn't live with me anymore and I feel lighter and more free than I have in a very very long time.

I have some stories in me I think I can write now.

Hoping to chat with y'all again soon, if you'd like...:)

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I’m sorry, but this is fucking hilarious

I’m late but it will not be said that our fandom doesn’t have a gif for this.

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I’ve been waiting for this exact post to pop up again. Yep. Absolutely nothing revolutionary happening here, folks. Just move along with your 2021...

I would like to wish everyone an uneventful new year

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Coming January 1, 2021...

20 year old Sam Winchester celebrates the new year with his older brother.

They head out on a road trip…and nothing goes as planned. It’s a year of mayhem and change…

This blog is Sam’s blog. Sam Winchester himself will be posting from the year 2004.  (mostly canon, but with some artistic liberties)

Sam might answer questions if he’s online…

Some days he will be here, others he will not. The story will unfold over the course of 2021.

This is a long haul journey…Sam plans on writing for the whole year…

I hope you enjoy (So does Sam)

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Chains

@sinvention told me to…I don’t have a tip jar, but I did have some free time today, so here ya go! 

This was inspired by a beautiful piece of art

Warnings: Angst, duh. Demon!Dean, hurt!Sam, Mild torture, blood. Dean’s a meanie

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 “Dean..”  the cry is desperate. Sam’s voice is hoarse and carries with it the weight of the terror he’s been through in the last six days. His body trembles in pain. 

He should have been able to cure him.

Now look at him

“Look at you,” Dean growls. It’s still his voice, the same voice that once comforted him. The same one that got him through multiple nightmares - but there are cruel intentions behind it now. He repeats himself, running his fingers through Sam’s hair. Sam doesn’t mean to, but he leans into the touch. The soft drag turns into a sharp yank and Sam cries out.

“Look at yourself!”

Sam looks up. He knows what Dean (not Dean) will do now if he doesn’t.

He blinks back the pain behind his eyes, struggles to see. When his vision comes into focus, he sees that Dean’s got him on his knees in front of a very large mirror. It’s reminiscent of something tucked far away in the corner of his brain. He can’t quite reach it. The thought fades and he doesn’t chase it. 

“Shoulda killed me when you had the chance, yeah?” Dean’s voice is mocking.

Sam stares at himself in the mirror. He’s naked, except for a pair of boxer briefs. His eyes are puffy and bloodshot. He’s got blood dripping down his face and his hair is sweat-damp and hanging in his face. He’s exhausted.

Oh yeah and the chains.

He’s got chains wrapped across his chest. 

Fucking heavy chains.

They snake down around his torso and wrap back up and around his neck. Sam sees that Dean has an end of the chain in each hand and he grins, looking his younger brother in the eye through the mirror before his eyes shimmer into blackness.

“Are you looking, my beautiful brother?”

He pulls.

“De - !” Sam’s cry is cut short and he gasps as the chain tightens around his neck.

He desperately fights it, but the edges of reality disappear and he fades into the soft blackness.

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OMG it's Wednesday!!!! You're first official day of work with the kids! Good luck today! I hope it goes great for you because you totally deserve it. I hope those kids realize just how awesome you are. Love ya, Rin 😙💙

See, I held on to this one, too. Apparently, I hold on to a lot of things.

This makes me feel so loved. Thank you for thinking of me on the busiest day of my year...

love you too, Alecia...it’s been waaaayyyy too long.

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Is it just me or is it so frackin adorable that Jared can’t properly cross his eyes? Like, only one goes in. ❤️❤️❤️

Yeah, here I am finally reblogging this...

And yes. Whenever you find yourself asking, “Is Jared adorable?” the answer is yes.

Miss you, hun, hope tonight is lovely for you...

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Thank you rindi!!!!!

Listen Andi. I’m horrible. I’m sorry we lost contact. I don’t know when or why this is from/for, but you have always been amazing and I hope you are doing well and thank you for always supporting me...

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Hi Rindi. Just a quick note to say how much I appreciate you. I love the writing style in your drabbles. You easily engage both our emotions and brains as we digest the emotional pain and absorb the story you unfold for us. I’ll never tire of reading what you put out there and hope it provides you catharsis. #AKF

Listen. 

Girl.

I’m so so so sorry. I did not ever mean to ignore you. Thank you so very much for these words. I needed them for a very long time. You should know I read them over and over. Seriously this is the post that got me through many difficult days. I am grateful to have you and I hope you’re still around...

I hope I still can bring these emotions out as I grow as a writer.

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I’ve read more than 2

I have no memory of why this would be here, lol...and I’m so sorry...but thank you! 

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Keep up the great writing! You can do it! Remember to drink some water and nibble on something. I believe in you! Kick it in the ass!

Thank you!  I have been drinking water almost every day now!

And I’m back to writing every day!! :)

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When you get this you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. Then, send this ask to 10 of your favourite followers (Non-negotiable, positivity is cool!)

Okay, okay...I haven’t liked myself in a very long time, and this is a VERY old ask...nonnie, I’m so sorry...

Ok, what do I like?

1 - my hair. It’s finally super long and I love it

2 - my house. I’m finally making it mine

3 - my friendship with @all-4-wincest. For multiple reasons

4 - my ability to consume tacos. 

5 - I don’t think I have a 5th reason

Not sending to 10 bloggers, because I don’t think I have that many mutuals. But yay, progress!

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I know how it feels to be so overwhelmed and upset and terrified that I wanted to disappear on the spot. Please just keep breathing. In and out. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you can do something comforting like take a hot bath or watch a happy movie, please do. Drink a big glass of water. Hug your body. You matter. You belong. You will make it through this. You have to promise yourself that, no one else can make that decision for you. Fighting is a choice. It’s a freedom. 💛💛💛

Thank you. I’m posting this now after maybe I don’t know - a year? But other people should see this. It matters. You matter. We matter. We all fucking matter. We just need to remember to stick together.  Thank you so much nonnie from the past...

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Getting There! :)

Deleted years old happy birthdays, votes for old drabbles, a few that were just anon hearts... Narrowing it down to important asks and requests!:)

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Have Some Sexy Dean/Jensen for Sunday Morning 😘😘

Or have some Sexy Sam/Jared for your Sunday Morning!! 😘😘

I hope you’re feeling better soon, Rindi!!

XOXO , Liz

Because my bestie knows what i like when i like it :)

I was very much thirsting for Jensen when you sent this, Liz :)

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I’m going to be a busy girl...

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So...

Apparently I have failed to answer about 300 requests/comments/responses/notes of praise/anon hate over the last several months...(from both blogs)

Apparently I’ve been in a horrible hole of depression and lonliness.

I apologize if you EVER sent me anything and it went unanswered. I am going to try to respond to every single one of them over the next 2 weeks of winter break.

This probably means lots of new drabbles...

I have so many new projects on my other blogs too. Starting something new, fixing something old...

I’m still depressed and lonely, but I think I’m out of the hole.

Some of these are...very old...I’m so sorry.

Let’s see what’s in this filing cabinet of mystery, shall we?