#cheeky understated charisma

[kwistowee]

TOM WISDOM as ANTONY DIMMOND Hannibal 3.01

[theromanticscrooge]

Joe Cuppa: From Washed-Up Hazbin to Rising Superstar

There's a few guides and even interviews from stand-up comedians talking about how they got started. Even if they have a clever set that they spent weeks practicing and polishing, stage presence is another dimension to their act. Their delivery, charisma, relatability, and an ability to roll with the punches are a huge part of what clinches the act. What makes something funny isn't a fully teachable skill. Most comedians learn what works and what doesn't through a combination of throw spaghetti at the wall experiments, practice, feedback from friends or audiences alike, and general experience. Like any other kind of artist or performer, comedians have an approach or set unique to them. They may cover similar topics and themes to someone else, but their tone, delivery, and other hallmarks about their act are specific to them.

It's fun when a cartoon plays with the idea of one of the characters going into or trying stand-up. The Hey Arnold! episode "Helga's Show" follows Helga roasting the other students in her class as her comedy set during a weekly talent showcase. Helga's roasts are an interesting intersection between her harsh, rude front and her more insightful, detail-oriented creative side. She's a child prodigy when it comes to analyzing visual art or writing books full of lovesick poems. Unfortunately, Helga has little support at home and hides behind being more blunt and aggressive than she really is. She mixes her bullying tendencies with clever wordplay on stage. The goal is to entertain with a more playful elbow bump rather than intimidate with a fist. While the episode's approach to exploring the fine line between a direct insult and a cheeky roast is shaky, it's still interesting to see what Helga's approach to stand-up looks like.

There's a running gag in the Bob's Burgers episode "The Deepening" where Mort the mortician tries his hand at stand-up comedy. He enjoys puns and plays with the premise of poking fun at the more morbid parts of his profession. In general, Mort has a very easygoing attitude and approaches life with a grin and lame dad jokes. Mort wants to be liked and part of the crowd, but he can be awkward in a way that it's followed with too much silence after, a frown, and dropping things in a rough, brusque way. When Mort tries to smooth over awkwardness, he pushes the joke further; he continues to beat a dead horse. A smooth recovery after an awkward beat is an art in and of itself. Because Bob's Burgers is full of ridiculous characters that all revel in their own brand of awkwardness, it's more fun if Mort never learns how to properly segway after awkward moments. He's the understated complement to fellow diner regular Teddy's more manic, loud, and chaotic social faux pas.

In the case of Joe Cuppa in O.K. K.O., he's a formerly successful stand-up comedian. The minute he walks on stage at the Plaza, he carries the confidence and presence of a true seasoned professional. The toon itself establishes this with the dramatic contrast between Joe and the amateur that went before him. The amateur comedian was a sweating, nervous wreck that had a loose idea for a set, but it was dubious how well-thought-out and prepared it really was. He presented as someone starting a comedy career on a whim vs genuine interest. A more generous take is that the previous act was going into his very first on-stage performance. He was at the bumbling start of a potential career where Joe has hit a proverbial wall. Its one thing for a wannabe to try something off the wall at an open mic where anyone and everyone can get on stage. Its somewhere between a failure and a splash of cold water realization for a professional like Joe performing to rows of empty chairs.

Joe has a tried and true set that used to work. He was popular enough that he had shows recorded and syndicated on TV. He was a household name that gathered crowds and easily filled seats. Now, he's an echo of his former glory. Rad is familiar with him but neither Enid or K.O. recognized him or even knew he existed. Considering that Rad knew him from re-runs, his parents were probably fans when Joe was still a more known name. It's possible that Joe had a very particular niche in the world of comedy too.

Joe's act relies on cheesy coffee puns that are varying degrees of clever to painfully forced. Its in the same vein as classic dad jokes. The jokes themselves are very simple and basic; anyone can make these surface level observations and cracks. What makes Joe's act stick is his full commitment to the act. He has an every man, personable charisma to him between his business casual shirt with rolled-up sleeves and frumpy tie to his playful and slightly obnoxious banter. He's lame, he knows he's lame, and he owns this with the earnest energy that makes a suburban dad charming and likeable. It's all about meeting his audience at their level in such a way that feels natural and affable.

Its interesting that Rad is such a big Joe Cuppa fan. In general, Rad is very closed-doors about his interests unless its a hobby like fitness, sports, or dumb stunts that directly support and embellish his desired image of the stoic macho man. Rad's public persona is a try-hard dudebro but stoic macho man is the goal. Usually, Rad gets overly defensive or even outright denies his interest if someone teases him about it or it falls under descriptions like 'soft, vulnerable, feminine.' He's reluctant to push back against the status quo if the cool kids think something is lame. Enid is very blunt about how unimpressed she is by Joe and his jokes.

Rad owns how much he loves Joe and his jokes. Joe's comedy is one of the few 'dorky' interests Rad has that he wholeheartedly endorses and backs up. Maybe part of Joe's appeal for Rad is that Joe is open and realized in a way that Rad hopes to achieve for himself someday. Similarly to how a comedian's set reflects who they are and how they handle daily life, someone's interest in a comedian or artist reflects what they might aspire to be like or even some of what their personal values are. Rad is characterized as someone that can be as lame and dorky as Joe; he just doesn't have the confidence to match what Joe brings to those parts of his character yet.

This difference even carries over to the tone between the slapstick gags that play out with Rad or Joe respectively. When Joe gets thrown through the front shop window or looks shell-shocked by the general chaos of a retail setting, its followed by a moment of earnest sympathy and reflection for Joe. The episode ends with a series of absurdist and ridiculous cartoony slapstick directed at Rad. The convenient karma of the cartoon world matches how badly a character needs a win or light comeuppance. When Rad has earnest moments that share the same thoughtful and self-aware gravity Joe has, the Universe is kinder and carries a lighter touch. He's still a lightning rod for cartoon antics as one of the immediate comic reliefs, but the antics are appropriately sidelined for character moments.

Overall, Joe's story focuses on a celebrity after their 15 minutes of fame are up or even an older person that just retired from their job after 20 years. Audiences don't connect with Joe's act anymore. After his latest flop at the Plaza, Joe seriously considers giving up on comedy altogether and the immediate need for some kind of change or even a new direction altogether. While exaggerated, Joe paints a depressing picture: Comedy put food on the table for him. Coffee puns paid his pills, kept a roof over his head, and sustained his livelihood as much as it served as self-expression and an artistic outlet. Performing at the Plaza's open mic was a last-ditch effort to revive his dead career. Otherwise, Joe is in such a desperate position that he sleeps in gas station bathrooms, abuses free samples, and tries to shoplift in shoddy disguises.

When Joe tries his hand at retail, he gives a legitimate effort to adapt and fit in with a role so outside of his wheelhouse. He tries to refurbish coffee puns into his customer service. He doesn't know enough about the available inventory to give pointers on what helps heroes, but he can brighten people's days with a laugh and a smile. Outside of cartoon logic, it does take time to learn store inventory and to build up enough product knowledge to answer even generally asked questions. Customer service also requires the ability to approach someone with a carefully crafted persona that's polite, friendly, informative, and has business friendly polish. Its a different enough arena from being an entertainer that while acting skills can carry over, its still a notably different skill.

Joe tries to give customer service the same boisterous energy he brings to stage. When a retired person has to enter retail or tries to break into a different industry after 20 years of something else entirely, there's going to be a significant adjustment period. With time, effort, and active learning, a person will figure out how to fill a role to the best of their abilities or that the role just isn't a good fit for their particular skills, demeanor, or otherwise. In an ideal set of circumstances, people find work, coworkers, and culture that is both a good fit for them and somewhere that grows and changes with them in an organic way. Unfortunately, most people are stuck in positions where very few things are a good fit or it's the struggle of shoving a circle shaped peg into a square shaped hole long enough to pay bills. This ongoing challenge affects someone whether its a young adult just entering the working world or an older adult trying to stay in the working world out of sheer necessity.

Customer service is a shove a circle shaped peg into a square shaped hole for Joe. He understands the surface level assignment, but isn't sure how to approach this task in a way that meets even the bare minimum. When he helps with the Shannon fight, he's given a challenge that requires an out of the box solution and creative thinking that better matches the on-your-feet challenge of stand-up. He's able to retool his coffee puns into something entirely new: coffee-themed super powers and attacks. This is exactly what Joe needed; something that plays to his strengths but updates and refreshes his comedy act in a very different way. This is that rare moment where a retired handyman brings his years of electrical or plumbing experience to patching holes or fixing little maintenance issues around the store. An older accountant helps her son-in-law with taxes and starts up her own one-on-one business that helps other people file taxes.

Too many people can become stagnant. Something works to the point they become comfortable and it becomes routine. Its an unexpected blow when they lose their job, when new problems come up that require new skills or solutions outside of their current skill set, or an event that catastrophically disrupts the status quo. After this blow, a person can feel like a failure or they're obsolete. They have done the same thing for so long and gotten so used to doing this thing a certain way, it's hard to look at their situation from a different perspective or even if they're trying new approaches or actively taking advice, it still takes awhile to find the new something that works.

Another part of Joe's story is that he takes suggestions and puts himself out there despite being at his lowest because he has support from K.O. Sometimes, an older person needs a reminder that their age doesn't have to be and shouldn't be a barrier. Learning and growing are lifelong. More people than ever live into their mid to late 80s or even to 100. Some of the most inspirational people are fine artists that started learning how to paint in their late 50s and the 70 year old that went back to earn her bachelor's degree just because she wanted to. Joe is restricted most by the idea that he's washed up. His comedy career ended but there's still so many other things he can do and try. And lucky for Joe, he gets recruited for a movie and starts an exciting, glamorous new position as a movie star.

Most people won't become famous or movie stars. But there's still value in older people finding a new direction in life. The humbler counterpart to Joe Cuppa the celebrity is Mr. Gar the business owner and active example of a healthy, positive male role model. K.O. inspires both Joe and Mr. Gar in their unique journeys that their continued efforts to grow and change are both for their benefit and someone younger that may end up at a similar crossroads to what they do someday. Healthy moves towards self improvement lead to results like Joe the movie star vs Joe the washed up comedian. Life throws curve balls, but someone can meet those curve balls more readily when they believe in their own ability to continue learning.

[eurosong]

Eurosong's ESC '17 ranking and commentary

Good afternoon, folks! The clock is ticking down to the final and it's now about that time of the year where I unleash my commentary on all the songs. I tried to limit myself to a few sentences per song, but since there´s 42, this will doubtless be considered by some as a big read. Tongue in cheek in part but very candid about my views on some of the songs - don't proceed if you don't want to see a few songs savaged. As the ancient Romans said, de gustibus non est disputandum, and these are just my views and tastes.

1 Portugal From which planet did this extraterrestrial talent come and why do his people want to break our hearts so exquisitely? I cannot speak highly enough of these three perfect minutes of melancholy, longing, and yet, at the same time, love and hope. This performance speaks to the soul so intimately. It is a pure and timeless composition that I feel like I've known all my life, but have been waiting all this time to hear. Extraördinary and twelve cuts above everything else in the contest in my eyes. 2. Hungary How I love the fearless Magyars and their tendency to dance to the beat of their own drums, sending things that sound like nothing else in the contest. This is one of the most emotional performances in the contest and certainly one of the most meaningful lyrics - talking about the prejudice he faced as a Romani and the salvation he found in songwriting. The music is a sui generis blend of rap, traditional folk and other elements - and the pure passion invested into the lyrics and their delivery gives me goosebumps. 3 Belarus This is what three minutes of unshackled, care-free joy sounds like. Naviband are adorable, their chemistry pure, and their song is so full of joie de vivre. I feel like I’m out in the primordial forests of Belarus hearing the call of the ancients. 4 Armenia Another nation keen to exhibit its traditional music in curious new blends is Armenia, who this year bring us something that sounds at once distinctly Caucasian and East Asian. A curious mélange of genres and influences make this almost as far as you can get from the tired "Melfest reject" mould. I love the non-linearity of this song, and the æthereal feel that makes the song feel like a forgotten psalm to the gods. Great effort. 5 Iceland If you combine dark but infectious electro beats with some of the most subtly meaningful lyrics of the contest, you get this, in my book, one of Iceland's best contributions to the contest in some time. Svala's song is very personal to her and, through an extended metaphor, talks about struggling with accepting yourself for who you are. A very underrated track in my eyes.

6 Czechia Speaking of underrated, we have the perennially undervalued Czechs sending us one of the most understated and sincere offerings this ESC. Czechia's is a very subtle song about strength in adversity and human connection. The music is very pleasant, and the lyrics are sung with heart. 7 Belgium No matter the disastrous reaction to the rehearsals, City Lights remains for me one of the most unique and meaningful pieces in the contest this year. Whilst last year they sounded like a 90s girl group trying to emulate the 70s, this is year 3000, futuristic cool. There is a powerful minimalism in the lyrics that lets their many nuances sink in. "Are we going to lose it all?" 8 Romania You get instant ESC-snob credit by disavowing this Romanian effort, which on paper - a yodel-rap about breaking away from the 9 to 5 - sounds like it should be a ludicrous mess. But you won't see me doing anything but praising it as it is an instant ray of sunshine in a song. I love how much Alex and Ilinca, an incredibly cute pair, love their song and how they put their heart into each performance. I feel lifted up to the Alpine heights by each listen. 9 Azerbaijan For the first time ever, Azerbaijan stand to get into my top 10. They’re still raising my hackles by importing music from Sweden, but this time they’ve picked a credible and glacially cool artist with a mystifying and dark composition about obsessive love. A step in the right direction. 10 Italy The bookies’ favourite by far, and I can understand why - Francesco exudes cheeky chappie charisma and his song is one that can appeal across generations. Why only 10th then from this bonafide Italophile? I always found the chorus of the song to be very dated, sounding like the theme tune of an early 90s quiz show, whilst the verse and bridge has a much more monumental, anthemic air. I was more able to overlook the repeats of the chorus before they made disastrous cuts and excised most of the first verse and all of the second verse, leaving a song that is still fun, but a lot more repetitive. 11 Netherlands I’m honestly amazed that O’G3ne, a band with such a ridiculous name and a dubious pedigree, are on the cusp of my top 10 this year. They sing songs that are so dated that they wouldn’t have counted as fresh even in the early 90s. And yet, their song has a certain child-like naïveté in its lyrics about their ailing mother that it makes it unbelievably moving. 12 France A nice enough song from France this year, but nowhere near as good as Amir last year in my eyes. What really took the song down a notch was the clunky addition of unneeded, comparatively cacophonous English lyrics, which replaced the existentialist French chorus of the original with some throwaway clichés. 13 Macedonia Some fans consider the Macedonian entry fresh despite its reminding me of 3-4 different 80s’ songs blended together. What it is though is catchy and kitschy in a fun way. I have doubts about the live performance given her scandalous playback in London, though. 14 Finland As Holly Brewer  sang, “I wish I loved you more.” I should love a song like this, but instead I don’t enjoy it as much as I might because I feel they put a distance between themselves and the audience not fitting for such an emotional song. 15 Ukraine It’s no secret that I’m a rocker, but unfortunately, a lot of the rock at the contest has been sub-par in recent years - or has been “rock” in inverted commas. This is not a bad effort from Ukraine, but nowhere near the britrock-inspired heights of Georgia last year. It’s a bit too repetitive for my likes. 16 Latvia Something less to my typical tastes is this unexpected piece of 90s rave revival, a step away from the cool Aminata-penned electronica Latvia has sent in the past two years. It’s a welcome stylistical oasis in a desert of identikit pop ballads, but qualitatively isn’t great, and her nasal, oddly pronounced vocals are an acquired taste which I am yet to acquire. 17 Bulgaria Very nice, relaxing background music but I don’t think of it as much more than that. 18 Ireland This starts out so promisingly with a gloomy and mysterious beginning, but soon degenerates into an early 2000s B-side that was not only rejected by Westlife but also by an assortment of C-list bands imitating Westlife. It’s even complete with the obligatory key change that launches young Brendan into a register so high that it could shatter contact lenses while they're still on your eyes. Yet, I do find some charm in it, and this would be a contender for places 11-15 for me were it not for the god awful last minute. 19 Albania For once, Albania don’t completely destroy a song in its revamp - they maintain most of the rock-ish edges of the original, instead of neutering them like they did with Përallë. As is typical, though, they lumbered Lindita with a bewildering and clunky English translation that takes a lot of my enjoyment away from the song. 20 Germany This couldn’t be more middle of the road if it tried - so it’s apt, I guess, that it has a position almost precisely in the middle of my ranking. Levina was the best of a bad lot in Germany’s insane format of a national final and she soldiers through a song even she seemed like she preferred not to sing. The riff ripped from Titanium is so blatant - and the song is brought down too by some ridiculous lyrics. “Almost a sinner, nearly a saint.” So you’re almost exceptionally holy and almost someone who frequently sins at the same time? *Head explodes* 21 Switzerland An innocuously bland mid-tempo pop ballad. Not much to say about this one.   22 Croatia A man singing a duët with himself, giving a motivational message - to himself. One half in the quivery, syrupy upper ranges of an R&B tenor, the other half in a booming operatic baritone. It’s as ridic as it sounds and yet this Jeckyll and Hyde act is saved from the very bottom by its endearing barminess. 23 Denmark Disposable pop with a shout-sung chorus, albeit by a performer with some charm and connection to the audience. 24 Australia Musically, not so bad at all, but there’s something offputting about a chap young enough to almost be fœtal putting on a drippy voice and ridiculous puppy dog eyes, singing a song of a life of broken hearts and lost love more befitting of an old man. 25 Serbia Serbia used to be one of my favourite countries in the contest. They stuck to their own language and sang songs imbued with Balkan rhythm and tradition... now they send someone sending a poor rip-off of Katy Perry’s Firework. Каква срамота. 26 Moldova Evidently, meme status can open doors and can gift you a return ticket to the ESC. It’s a shame, as even in Moldova, there were better options than this rather misogynistic effort that seems to have been Bing translated, not even Google translated, and which sounds like it was based off a MIDI ringtone. Apparently bound for the final just because it’s upbeat. 27 Austria This exudes that relentless forced cheeriness that makes my blood run cold. It’s such a plim-plom song that bounces along whilst saying nothing. Most songs aim for the top and I can admire that, even if they have no chance - this aims for mid-table mediocrity in the final. 28 Israel Generic dance track with words plucked at random and thrown onto the paper. 29 Norway Robotically cold. Most songs make me feel something, even if it’s annoyance. This just leaves me numb. 30 Poland An oppressive dirge with lyrics that rely on a rhyming dictionary a little too much (rhyming fire, desire, wire and higher in the space of ten words!) and a bizarre song structure with an anti-chorus and no real progression, which make these 3 minutes feel very long indeed. 31 Sweden Predictable, repetitive pop with one of the most laughable performance routines (blokes trying to act “smooth” by doing very silly gestures) and lyrics that read as though written by Jay in the Inbetweeners. Let’s not romanticise uncontrollable lust. 32 Cyprus A rip-off of Rag and Bone Man’s “Human”, but without a message. Instead, some incredibly daft lyrics written by someone who failed physics even in primary school. Hovig likens himself to gravity because he will catch his paramour when she falls - when it is in fact gravity that pulls her down to her grizzly death. 33 United Kingdom Turgid rent-a-ballad delivered in a hammy style with not a whisker of sincerity - compare that with the virtuoso performance of her rival in the final, Holly, who sang like she felt the pain. I’ve been saying since the contest that it will do well, though, but I’m not sold one bit. 34 Spain Many of us Eurovision fans in Spain wasted money voting for other songs in the national final, only to find that the jury - 2/3 comprised of people with vested interest in one of the candidates - was able to override thousands of televoters when it came to a draw. They put the televote’s 3rd place, Manel, first, leaving a considerable bad taste behind. And what for? One of the most inane songs the contest has ever seen, in which either “do it for your lover” (do what?) or “just do it” are repeated on average less than every 4 seconds. It sounds like a homebrand Lazy Song and the songwriters sure were lazy. Playing this on a loop for just 15 minutes could make even the toughest commandos cry for their mammies. 35 Estonia Part of me wants to put this at the very bottom of the pile, but sadly, there are worse horrors yet to come. It’s really disappointing when your favourite ESC country in recent years throws aside a bunch of daring possibilities to represent them in 2017, in favour of something so aggressively bland, a cynical Eurosong by numbers with hackneyed, ultra-repetitive lyrics that mostly consist of entoning “á-a-a-a-à-a-a-a-á-a”, performed by a duo who have as much chemistry as two inert gases and spent most of the time hammishly gurning. 36 Montenegro How does one interpret it when one of the European countries with the biggest problems of homophobia - with 71% of the populace thinking homosexuality is a sickness and where a number of hate crimes have been registered just against people who support LGBT rights - sends such an OTT act with lyrics that are packed to the brim with single entendres? For me, it seems a cynical move. Slavko himself seems a cool guy but the song itself is a hot mess. 37 Lithuania And this is a hot mess, frozen then microwaved, then frozen then set on fire with a flamethrower. Be careful of watching this with pets or small children or they may well end up traumatised for life. Whilst unbelievably sweet in interviews, the lead singer of this act seems like a banshee possessed by demons whilst singing. Her bandmate seems like her creepy “keeper.” They sing a song with about 180 instances of the words “yeah, yeah” and some trumpets that sound like they were taken from Windows 95 sound effects. 38 Slovenia This has to be one of the most overblown and pompous entries in many a year. Omar claims he was waiting to unleash this on the unsuspecting public for over a decade - even back then, this grandiose attempt at a Broadway-style number would have sounded dated. 39 Greece I will never forgive the genius lyrics “rain falls from abooove!” Neither can I forgive the fact that such a completely generic track with lyrics written on the back of a Cornflakes box is probably destined for the final with the help of some gimmicky staging. 40 Malta This song fills me with all the energy of someone who’s been in a coma for 15 years. 41 San Marino Some folk are happy to see Valentina Monetta back for the fourth year. I’m sad to see a talented performer come back for scraps of infamy no matter how bad the song she’s offered. And my god, is this disco rehash fever dream bad. 42 Georgia Georgia is typically one of my favourite nations in the contest, because of their willingness to break away from the mould, to enter things that are very atypical of the contest and often do well with them - like the exhilerating psychadelic-Britrock of last year or the trippy folk of a few years before that. This year, they couldn’t have gone more off into the other direction, into the methane-scented hinterlands of mediocrity.  I find this song disasteful in so many ways. The overt and ham-fisted political nature of it. The creepy music, like the soundtrack to a cheap straight-to-VCR horror movie, which creates an oppressive atmosphere that makes me feel like the music is holding my head down under the ghoul-infested waters of a frigid lake in a winter forest. The ghastly, cliché-ridden lyrics, where “keep the faith” is repeated so many times that by one minute, my faith that the song will ever end is already shaken. Ugly composition.

[breath0ftheglacian]

A Man Of No Consequence

A Man Of No Consequence - Ardyn x fem Reader (NSFW) COMPLETE. All chapters may contain spoilers!

CH 1: Into The Lion’s Mouth CH 2: Famous Seafood CH 3: The Covenant CH 4: Blind Spot CH 5: The Revelation CH 6: In The Lap of The Gods CH 7: Across the Seas CH 8: In The Lap of The Gods, Revisited CH 9: Callings CH 10: Hand of a King, Heart of a King CH 11: Into the Dark CH 12: Breath Of The Glacian CH 13: Redemption CH 14: Cure for Insomnia CH 15: A Gentleman’s Agreement

Chapter 1: Into the Lion's Mouth

The fireworks have started. You clutch your camera, as you feel a wave of butterflies fly up your stomach, hearing the first whistles rambunctiously shooting up into the sky, followed by a loud rattling; a sudden reminder that you're here for a reason beyond just taking photographs. The smell of sulfur quickly follows.

God, those things are dangerously near, you realize. Not unlike the man wearing the long coat and a fedora, leaning on the balcony with his back turned to you, only a few meters away.

Unwittingly, you pause to study him. Ardyn Izunia, the Niflheim Chancellor. A man who seems to be commanding much of the Empire's political movement, yet all together a man of mystery. He's taller than you imagined from the pictures, a vain looking man who is particular about his appearance. His eyes are fixed in the direction of the King and the Emperor,  who seem engaged in conversation.

Who knows, maybe this peace treaty will really work out for the best...

He raises his glass at someone, taking a slow sip. You look across the balcony at Nyx and Lady Lunafreya. Suddenly you feel really small. You grab a flute of champagne from a passing waiter, and down it all in one go.

Even though you've never been one to be shy, you're not used to being around royalty. Being one of the lower ranking Kingsglaives, you've never even seen the King this close. The only reason Nyx managed to sneak you in was your skills with the camera. Posing as the royal photographer, you've been taking meaningless snaps of the guests through the early evening, having people pose and raise their glasses at you.

Everything around you looks and feels expensive, from the champagne you just necked down, to the huge aquarium in the middle of the balcony that houses every type of carp known to man. Even the dress you borrowed feels way too fancy on your skin. These people are used to luxury; caviar and gold. You desperately need to seem more natural, or it could all go terribly wrong. You feel the champagne flush through your body and warm your cheeks. Quick glance at Nyx, who's got his eyes on you. Silently, you open your mouth to mime at him;

How do I look?

He smiles and gives you a quick nod.

That's good enough.

You turn towards Ardyn Izunia, who's still got his back turned to you. One deep breath.

Come on, you can do this. Here we go then, into the lion's mouth.

Wearing your most innocent smile, you approach the Chancellor.

"Pardon me, sir?"

He turns around slowly, laying his eyes on you. He looks surprised.

"Would you mind if I take a picture?" He seems amused.

"By all means my dear. What is it for?"

"It's only for the royal collection. Might see it in the paper if it turns out good," you try your best to be bubbly and charming.

"But of course. How do you want it? Shall I just stand here?"

"That's absolutely fine, be natural," you smile.

Aiming the camera you focus on him, snapping a few shots. He looks straight the camera, and right through the lens, at you, as he leans on the banister with a smirk. "Nearly done." A few more snaps. You stop.

"Was that alright?"

"Wonderful!" you remark lowering the camera. "Would you like to see?"

"Why not."

You approach the Chancellor and stand right next to him, taking your time browsing through a few photos. 

"Very handsome," you say with a cheeky smile. You mean it. The camera seems to be fond of him, like it or not. He's got a strange charisma, a peculiar mix of macho and a total dandy. He's got a taste for frills and flair, seems very grandiose in his manners, yet there's something understated and rough about him.

"I'm happy if you're happy," he responds, looking at the photographs over your shoulder. You look up and for a brief moment your eyes lock. He's wearing that slightly amused smirk.

Go on, time to make some small talk. Just make him relax a little...

"Oh yes, very happy," you respond enthusiastically, "Probably the best photos I've taken all night! It's fine to take pictures of well dressed important people, but it's quite different to get one of the Chancellor."

He smiles at you, "Is that so?"

"It's a rare pleasure to get a snap of a man of your importance. And of your charisma..."

Am I overdoing it? Too bold too soon?

He seems to go straight for the bait.

"Nonsense dear, the pleasure is all mine. I get so bored at these kinds of events, it's nice for someone to take interest. Let us drink to that."

Who'd have thought, flattery works a charm on this guy.

He lifts up his flute again. "You don't have one? We must fix that immediately," he quickly spots a waiter, hails him over, and picks a flute of champagne for you. "Here you go dear. May I ask your name?"

You hesitate for a second, trying to decide if revealing your real name would be a wise move at this moment. Yet without further resistance, your lips let out your name as you receive the glass. He repeats your name slowly, as if tasting it, figuring it out. Clinking his glass against yours, he adds, "What a lovely name. Pleased to make your acquaintance." With that, you both drink. His amber eyes linger on you only momentarily, as his gaze drifts back towards the King and the Emperor.

"Are you looking forward to this peace?" you ask, trying to keep his interest.

"Oh most certainly. It's about time, isn't it?"

You find it hard to believe he would really mean what he's saying. It's well known in the palace that most of the Glaives are very suspicious of the Empire's intentions. Hell, even the King's rumoured to be suspicious. Why peace, after all this? Why now?

"Absolutely. It'll be nice to have some freedom of movement in and out of the city. I'm looking forward to exploring more of Lucis," you continue, "My plan is to leave as soon as the borders are opened."

He smiles at you. "Great plan! I hope you get to go sooner than later."

"I take it you've travelled a lot, sir?"

"It comes with the job, I'm afraid," he responds, with his eyes on the Emperor, then turning to you, "Lucis is truly beautiful. I'm sure you will enjoy your travels. Be sure to stop by Galdin Quay for their famous seafood!"

"Oh I will, I love seafood!" You feel awkward and clumsy in your attempts to create some rapport with him.

Surely a man of his status is used to ladies approaching him all the time... perhaps he's bored of it?

A moment of silence falls between you and you see the Emperor and his entourage move from the balcony past the aquarium, towards the lift. Ardyn follows them with his gaze and then, suddenly turns to you.

"Well I would simply love to stay and share another glass with you, but I'm afraid duty calls."

Your heart starts pounding.

It's now or never. Just do it!

"Oh but of course!" You try to think on your feet. "Before you go, would it be too rude of me to ask for a photograph with the Chancellor?"

You can tell he's flattered.

Good thing I'm a genius, you mentally pat yourself on the back.

"Of course not, my dear. Excuse me --" He calls over a waiter, who's collecting glasses nearby. "Could you take a quick photograph of us for the lady?"

"Of course, sir!"

You give the camera to the waiter, showing him what to press and how to aim, then move back to the banister and next to Ardyn. A bit closer... To your surprise he wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you right against him. You look up and a nervous chuckle escapes your lips. A faint scent of musky perfume floats around him.

This man smells amazing. Ok, focus, quickly now!

The waiter aims the camera, "Smile!"

You gently move your arm around Ardyn's waist, and carefully drop the tiny transmitter into his trouser pocket, leaving your hand to rest on his hip. He turns to look at you, an intense stare, boring right into your soul. Your heart's about to leap out of your chest. Something's not right about him.

This man is dangerous.

He grins at you.

Thank god... he thinks I'm flirting.

The waiter is snapping away, seemingly really getting into it, "Lovely, lovely!"

"I think that's OK," you interrupt just as he’s reaching his flow. "Thank you very much!" You take a step back from Ardyn. "And thank you, sir, it was truly a pleasure to meet you."

"Please, call me Ardyn," he smiles, lifting his hat and giving you the slightest bow. He's annoyingly charming, likeable, handsome.

"I'm afraid I must hurry on. If our paths ever happen to cross at Galdin Quay, I'll be sure to treat you to that famous dinner." 

With a cheeky smile, he turns around, giving you a little wave with his hand as he walks away.

"Uh... Thank you!" you manage to respond, even though he's too far to hear you by now.

The waiter hands you your camera. "Lucky girl!" he says with a wink, picking up his tray of glasses.

"Yeah..." you smile, even though your knees have gone all wobbly and your heart is still racing.

Pulling out a chair from a nearby table, you sit down to calm your nerves. You look up to see Nyx checking up on you from across the balcony. You give him a couple of nods, but can't help but look worried.

It's done.

He nods in response, and then looks away, not to cause any suspicion.

You sit there,  taking in the view;  all the guests with their snacks and drinks, dancing and genuinely enjoying themselves. You can't believe you managed to pull it off. What if the transmitter doesn't work? What if it falls out of his pocket? What if he finds it?

Skimming through the photos, you reflect on the absurdity of the situation, and the possible consequences that could follow were you to be caught.

"Excuse me, miss?" You look up. It's Lady Lunafreya, looking positively glowing in her beautiful designer dress, smiling at you.

"You are the photographer?"

"Yes, madam, I am."

"Could I ask you to take a picture of me and one of the Kingsglaives?"

"Of course, madam," you agree, getting up and following her across the balcony to where Nyx is stood on guard.

[kwistowee]

#so beautiful and for what TOM WISDOM as ANTONY DIMMOND Hannibal 3.01

[kwistowee]

TOM WISDOM as ANTONY DIMMOND Hannibal 3.01

[kwistowee]

TOM WISDOM as ANTONY DIMMOND Hannibal 3.01

[kwistowee]

TOM WISDOM as ANTONY DIMMOND Hannibal 3.01