#checks word count

[neon-moon-night]

I know it was posted a while ago, but I saw the swap au and found it really interesting. I’m curious about how events took place in the AU specifically why the sealing happened and also how the three of them came to be and becoming the way they are?

oh no i love getting questions about it!!

so this is me and @murderbot's AU and it has a LOOOOOT of headcanons behind it, so much of the swap is based on our interpretation of canon events. these are all also his ideas as we worked on it together!

i'll also give the disclaimer that some parts are better defined than others

gonna get super long (hence why this took so long to answer AAA) so a read more:

SO just gonna give an overview of the swaps:

hollow->ghost->hornet->hollow

radiance<-->grimm

loosely, the mosskin<-->the weavers

notably, the pale king and the white lady are NOT swapped, they remain in their canon roles. this was mostly because we didn't feel like we had any interest in swapping them with anyone but each other, but at the same time didn't think a swap between them would be very interesting. however we actually do have a 2nd swap AU where they ARE swapped, and the three siblings are swapped in ghost->hollow->hornet->ghost order instead, but that's neither here nor there...

there's a few more swaps but these are the ones relevant to your questions

re:your first question about the reason for the sealing...

so a very long time ago, grimm was the sedentary god of butterflies while the radiance was the migratory god of moths. one day the pale king showed up in hallownest, as in canon, and shed his form to live in what is now the city of tears

the way we see his initial settlement is that, the rainy caverns that became the city of tears were naturally rainy from being kept under blue lake. they didn't necessarily have a lot of people living there, bc it's bordered on one side by the mantises, on the other by the bees, and above by the moths (or butterflies, in swap) - all of which have wings for at least one part of their lifecycle. making somewhere with rain not very ideal!

so the pale king setting up shop there wasn't a problem yet. however, he was not a very good neighbor? as we see from the game, he isn't really the type to be satisfied with ruling as one among many...he wants to be without "blazing kin", "only one light shall shine against the dark", etc. and there's also a dev note talking about how the radiance was sealed once because the pale king did not want to rule with any equal, and then the seal with hollow was his second attempt when the first didn't work

anyway...so he has a plan to stop the rain in the city, bc we know it hadn't been raining during its peak. it was basically a dam project for the blue lake...which he did NOT talk to grimm or the butterflies about beforehand. the result was quite a lot of flooding in the lower section of the resting grounds - you know how it has a large gate separating it from the upper section? i figured that whole bit was almost completely submerged.

obviously no one is happy about this. grimm is irritated, goes to "negotiate" with the understanding that the new guy will be an untrustworthy weasel, but gets killed instead! his body is tossed away to rot, and the pale beings have one less obstacle to expanding their kingdom.

all of that so far is basically also my hc for what happened w the radiance in canon with no major changes so far in the broad strokes. NOW is where things diverge

when the radiance died, there wasn't very much she could do about it. when grimm died...he was able to make a deal.

that deal was w the nightmare heart, which we see as something of a separate entity? anyway he was actively dying, was given a deal to get both his physical body back as well as revenge on the kingdom, and well what do you know...

SO YEAH...instead of the infection (there was no external force there, it was more the radiance rotting) there's a parasitic plague instead, hence the infestation from the big doodle sheet i made. something burrows in people's hearts and they get these weird fleshy growths over their bodies...

NOW: the pale king is like ohhh that's kind of bad actually. and for similar reasons concocts the vessel plan...

some context from my interpretation of canon events: i always thought the reason pk needed herrah when there's a plethora of people loyal enough to become dreamers for free, is because the weavers' role was not limited TO herrah. in the hidden station, we see spools of silk that were presumably transferred from the deepnest station (because that would've had to have been built with their approval, when it's so much closer than the tram station they destroyed). there's also incomplete versions of seals in the weaver's den. basically it seems to me like the weavers were involved in weaving dream seals - both moths and spiders make silk, so that could be the connection? so he needed her because the seals could not have been made without her cooperation

anyway...i mentioned that the mosskin and weavers are very loosely swapped. i say "very loosely' because basically the main difference is now greenpath is a place where hallownest has little to no influence while deepnest is more thoroughly conquered. so...the deal is far more lopsided. hallownest could come in strength with demands, possibly in exchange for deepnest's continued independence, a la the deal with the mantis tribe. (in the wanderer's journal it says they made their treaty so their village could retain independent rule)

so the pale king has an extra demand: he wants to imbue some of the eggs with spider silk to produce ones that will be able to weave themselves, w the thought that a vessel that weaves its own bonds might be more effective...? but not all of them were made like that in case it altered the formula in some undesirable way.

thus: we get hornet and hollow

[picture to break this rant up a little]

hornet isn't really herrah's biological child here, but she's one of the vessels whose egg was imbued with silk. hollow was one that was not. she reaches the top first and walks off with the pale king without looking back. hollow falls.

so, hornet is raised as the sealed vessel...to me, duty is always a large part of her character, and that remains the case here too. in my own read of canon hollow, i would not describe them as "dutiful", per se...they are obedient and do what they are told, but the kingdom at large is abstract enough to them that it's not quite a motivating factor for them the way more direct approval from their father is

this is less true for hornet...she is aware she's a being made for a purpose, and in this world, she knows exactly what that purpose is. it is then a purpose she follows with all her heart...she is less self aware than hollow in canon, who knows they are not empty and vehemently denies it. i think hornet is a little better at lying to herself

i said she's no longer herrah's biological child, and that's still true, but it isn't that she had no interaction with herrah. here, herrah is the one who teaches her weaving, and so paradoxically this hornet has more interaction with herrah and more knowledge of weaving than my understanding of canon. herrah didn't have liberty to give her much affection, and hornet doesn't remember her well. but it is a connection that existed and that, to some extent, mattered

beyond this she was generally isolated in the palace and had little contact with anyone who was not a great knight or the king himself.

basically to summarize all this, swap hornet came to be the way she was as a combination of how i see ordinary hornet and how she might react if her life had been a bit more like hollow's. it's never been my preference for swap AUs to completely change a character's personality, but personality is shaped by environment too, so it's important to strike a balance there...

now for someone i haven't talked about much yet: little ghost

[another image to break this up...]

so, ghost...

i preserved herrah's connection to hornet, and just because ghost is in hornet's place doesn't make them a spider. they're instead the full, non-void child of the white lady and the pale king - my idea for why they were born is basically that, after the sacrifice of thousands of eggs and one empty child as their return for that, they decided to have a normal child as well

i think the best way i can sum up swap ghost is "people who willingly kill their own children will not be good parents under any circumstances"

to contrast with canon a bit, i'll talk abt my headcanons there - i see the white lady as having been the one who raised hornet, but she was also a very distant guardian to her. she never considered hornet her daughter, and while she never held a grudge for hornet's birth - i kinda think that, to her, herrah as a mortal is so beneath her it doesn't matter - the white lady was generally neglectful. like, to her hornet was a side project and an amusement, not a daughter.

by contrast, swap ghost is her full child and therefore she takes her parenting duties far more seriously in that regard. the issue is, she still isn't a very good parent! in canon she saw ghost as nothing more than a thing; she ordered them to take hollow's place and suffer eternally "for the good of the kingdom", and even saw hollow as having failed in their cruel duty.

here there's obviously no attempted infanticide against ghost, but she still sees them as someone who should be molded into what she wants out of them and not someone who is their own person. so even small things like ghost's personal preferences are not something they were really allowed to have.

but ghost is not really the type to accept that, so it didn't work out. they were rowdy and rebellious and ran away often, and as a result i feel like they were an embarrassment to the white lady and pale king, such that they weren't brought in public. so they're not as recognizable as you might expect a legitimate princet of the kingdom to be

to explain this doodle...

BASICALLY so. ghost and hornet did not interact with each other. the white lady had her own wing of the white palace when she was there, and hornet was kept in a secluded place as well such that the pure vessel not be "tainted". as a result, ghost saw her from a distance at her public appearances but otherwise did not interact with her

i said ghost was rowdy...they were not permitted in hornet's areas, but that didn't stop them from sneaking in and trying to meet the older sister they never knew. they found her going through nail drills alone in a room and hid to watch, not wanting to be caught. she completed her drills and then looked right at their hiding spot, and said, thoughtfully, "like a little ghost..." and left.

that's the in-universe explanation for ghost's name being ghost - they were given some other name by the white lady, but ghost is what they go by, because they're the first words they ever heard their sister say

to explain their estrangement...

i said they ran away often...they usually got brought back eventually by a royal guard, but this time was different. they went back and found the pale king had escaped into the dream realm without his problem child, and the white lady had left in kind.

they were still a teenager when this happened, and well: it felt very bad. but they also decided that this was for the best, and they had never liked them anyway, and they never liked this kingdom, and so they would just leave - and leave they did. they went to the howling cliffs and decided to find whatever awaited them in the wastes

mato found them before they could do that, and seeing that they were very young, very upset, and very likely to not make it, took them in as his pupil/child. so they're his dad now =) and they learned nail arts

swap ghost actually also knows some spells - they were taught by the white lady themself. but they don't like owing her anything and thus avoid magic as much as possible

and now, finally: hollow

hollow is the abandoned child...hornet did not look back for them, not out of malice, but because she only looked forward and only moved forward. she didn't stop and look back. so hollow fell.

like ghost in canon, they eventually made their way out of abyss, and left hallownest entirely before finally returning, for reasons they themself don't fully understand. they lost their arm out there, which is also why their cloak is ripped on that side; not much opportunity to change it

they're very lonely and, for lack of a better word, much "sweeter" than canon ghost is. canon ghost, much like a child, sometimes kills out of curiosity - they are the type of hunter to use a deadly spell if they cannot catch up with something (maskflies, menderbug), if only so they can learn from the remains. swap hollow is not like that, and actually my friend and i nicknamed them "swallow" - a portmanteau of swap hollow, and also a type of bird, because they like the little bird bugs.

they're also much more open and expressive than canon hollow is, as they've never had their emotions suppressed. they've never been nurtured either, but at the least, they don't possess the blank mask they do in another world. this is also in contrast to both canon & swap ghost, whose flat affect i see as more natural to them.

their journey is also much easier than ghost's because they run into, well, ghost. unlike canon hornet, swap ghost doesn't challenge hollow to a fight. canon hornet spent years and years alone stewing, but swap ghost is far better adjusted than her; an actual parental figure in mato helped with that

swap ghost instead told hollow they were their sibling, and offered for them to travel together

i tend to think of AUs for video games as alternate "games" themselves. a hypothetical game of this swap AU would not play much like hollow knight; it would be more comparable to an RPG with a party, consisting of hollow, ghost, and for a short period of time, grimmchild. (i haven't really said anything about them but. this is so long. so i'll leave them out)

anyway...hollow is overjoyed to have a sibling to interact with. to have a relatively easy time traveling hallownest, with an experienced fighter to essentially take care of them. for the first time in their life, they have company! and ghost is a kind older sibling to them

but...but...ghost isn't traveling with them for no reason

so i said they're estranged from their parents and any bond with them was severed when the pale king and white lady left. that doesn't mean they never spoke to the white lady again...

they eventually found her in her garden. and she, presumptuous as ever, did not say a word about how she had abandoned them; she simply gave her next command.

they were to take the king's brand and take responsibility for the kingdom, as its heir. then, they would find a vessel and they would escort it to the black egg temple, where they would cut the failure down and replace her.

(that's what this is, incidentally)

ghost...did not take kindly to this. insult upon insult, for her to ask something of them like this...they took the piece of shell engraved with the king's mark and tossed it into the sewers

but like. they don't have a better idea. they have no intention of doing this to hollow, so they're traveling with them trying to think of something else. and they do care about hollow, really, especially when they get to know them, and they get the experience of being a big sibling for the first time. but, well...i said they're more well-adjusted than canon hornet, but they're also less honest.

hollow absolutely does learn of this, and to say they're unhappy is an understatement. the two part ways for a time...

this is so long so i'll skip over the interim + how exactly they found out...suffice to say hollow cried a lot when they learned about it, as if happy times with their sibling had all been a lie. well, the two of them eventually reunite and ghost explains that they would never, ever do that. and then...

ghost tells hollow that they should just...leave

this is not hollow's responsibility and not something they deserve to give up their life and their freedom for. and ghost has been waffling, because they didn't know what to do, and they had no plan of their own, but that doesn't matter. they've made up their mind. they would leave everyone - even hornet - to rot before they ask hollow to die for them

the thing about ghost is that duty does not matter to them nearly as much as it does hornet. their family is far more important to them. perhaps this choice is them lapsing in their duty, but - that is a sacrifice they'll make.

i said before i see the AU as a game almost. this is where you could get one ending, where ghost and hollow (and grimmchild) all leave together and wander the world. hallownest is not the only kingdom out there - they will find others. and hallownest will rot and rot and rot, and hornet will not be free

but of course...i think hollow wouldn't want that. and they say no. and they find another way to free their sister, and right their father's wrongs.

OKAY THIS HAS TO END SOMEWHERE SO I GUESS IT'LL END HERE. IM SO SORRY FOR THIS WALL OF TEXT. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING ONCE AGAIN!!!!

[forestshadow-wolf]

Soap having to emergency fill in for a demo guy on a mission. He wasn't on demo for this one, he was needed on sniper along with Ghost and Gaz to cover price and the ground team and demo team he was leading. The goal was the blow the entire location skyhigh, but it wouldn't be an easy job. Not with the high amount of enemy soldiers, or the sheer mass and density of the building making it so that they would need to plant charges from the inside as well as the outside.

The demo guy goes down inside while soap, gaz, and ghost can't see them. They'd been keeping the outside backup at bay when price's voice fed through the radio.

"Soap. Our demo guy is KIA, need you down here NOW!"

"Aye, Sir. On my way." The urgency in the man's voice told him that they were running low on time (not that he didn't already know that. He was counting seconds. Always was.) He abandoned his sniper with little fineness, Ghost or Gaz would get it for him.

Ghost and Gaz covered him on his way down. He shucked his gloves on the way, throwing them carelessly to the ground, didn't bother going for cover, they were on a very real time limit with the fixed timer on the charges. It wasn't an ideal situation, and ordinarily they wouldn't have such a thing, but just the night before they'd caught someone tampering with the explosives. It had fucked up the wiring, and the closest to good they he could fix it was a fixed timer because he couldn't get them to communicate with the detonator anymore.

The actual inside of the building was large. Much more winding and dense than breifing said it would be. That was a problem. A big, huge, major problem. Because now they didn't have enough power to blow it all.

And it turns out to be an even bigger problem because when he got to price he realizes that the amount of explosives they had brought wasn't going to be enough in the first place.

"Shit." He hadn't been included in the demo planning, it hadn't been necessary. But now he sees that it was, because whatever calculations had been done were wrong. Even being off by .01 of anything was near fatal with the stuff they were working with.

"What? What's wrong?" Price was even more urgent now.

"There's not enough." He said, setting the first one he picked up, it was further from the last one that had been set before him than he'd have liked.

"Can you make it work?" Price says in, what soap always called, his captain voice. Soap pauses for a moment after that, running mental calculations.

"Maybe?" He wasn't entirely confident to be completely honest, "we'd have to go back and re-do all the ones that have already been set." He curses internally, mentally smiting whoever didn't include him in the demo meeting.

Price sent a soldier off to go collect the set charges, but soap only let them off with very clear instructions on how to do so.

Soap sent price and the rest of the soldiers off without him to finish collecting the data they had been looking for. He worked in silence for a while. If he was lucky (he doubts), it the soldier that price sent off came back with more charges than soap expected, he would be able to just barely make it stretch.

He wasn't so lucky. He sent the soldier after price. He flipped his radio on.

"Ghost, go to channel 2." He switches his own radio to channel 2.

"You solid, Johnny?"

"There's not enough." He was not panicking. Soap doesn't panic. And definitely not on the field. If he did it would be in the dead of night where nobody could find him.

"What's not?" Ghost was calm, solid as a rock. Soap liked that, won't deny needing a win, even if it was as small as Ghost being his normal self.

"Charges." He moves up the hall to work on the next one, "whoever did the calculations did a bang up job, there's barely enough to stretch from the original plan, and the inside is a lot bigger than we thought. Fucking bullshit."

"You weren't workin' with demo on this?" Ghost sounded confused, "I was given an optional attendance." Ah, that explained it. And- GOD-FUCKING-DAMNIT.

"Nae. At this point it seems more like a big fuckin' joke that I'm nae in on, than it does a tactical operation." Soap was seething, it was like the gods had something personal against him, but he kept his head.

"Seems like they all hate you, Johnny." Ghost hummed cheekily. Soap couldn't help the chuckle he let out. Leave it up to Ghost to still be a bastard despite it all.

"Awh, c'mon, L.T. you'd never let them all hate me now would ya?"

"Well, I don't completely hate you if it make you feel better." He could hear Ghost's smirk even through the radio.

"Aye, sir, gets me all warm and fuzzy inside, I'll buy you a drink to keep in your good graces after this."

"Assuming you live."

"Assuming I live." Soap parroted

"Can you make it work?"

"No. Not unless you've got some secret magic powers I dinnae know about, sir." He grumbled.

"Not for you, sergeant." Ghost told him. Bastard.

"Bastard." He huffed, amused.

"You still workin' on it?"

"Aye, I'm gonna blow the supports. If it goes right- better hope that it does- it'll bring the whole top crashin' down." He imitated the well-loved sound of the boom and crash he was hoping for, "if the brass wants it gone though, they'll have to send someone back. Hopefully someone competent this time." He was already halfway through the charges, and that was with a generous amount of spacing that he didn't like too much, but it would do, he had to get around to the other side of the building. He glanced at the timer, seven minutesticking down, he'd have to move fast if he wanted to get out in time, his thumb flipped his comms unit to channel the main channel.

"Price, keep an eye on the time." They all had their watches set to the timer so they could keep track. He switched back to channel 2 as soon as he got an affirmative. "Ghost, mind me at the two minute mark, aye?"

"Copy that." Came the steady manc accented response.

"Ya'know what's on my bucket list, L.T.?"

"What?"

"One day I want an OP that goes smooth start to finish."

"A steep ask."

"I felt inspired." He could hear the shrug in his own voice, and there was a breathy laugh in his ear.

Usually he's excellent at keeping track of his time, but this time he was still running minor calculations to every charge he set, making sure they were in the best spot possible. Which meant that when Ghost interrupted his mutterings with a tense "two minutes, Sargeant.", he had only just started on the last quarter of the explosives he had left.

"Shit." He chewed on his lip, using precious seconds to think. He could see the stairs to the exit at the end of the hallway, maybe 200 yards away, but there was still had 6 charges left. Fuckit, no more time for thinking, his gut's never let him down so far, he trusts that it won't this time either. "You see Price? Is he out?"

He wired the charge in his hands in two paces, placed it in six, started on the next.

"Negative. I've got no visual. I need you out of that building, now, Johnny." Ghost went silent after that, but soap was too busy to worry about that.

Shit.

He was almost halfway down the hall when he placed the next charge. Three charges left. The next charge went on in seven paces. The last two went up on either side of the stairs. His lungs burned as he took the steps two at a time. A glance at his watch showed 48 seconds left. The stairs seemed to go on forever. He would not be making it to a safe distance, he'd be lucky to get out of the building.

"I've got Price, Need eyes on you, now." Ghost sounded in his ear. He had not enough air in his lungs to respond, squeezing every cell of blood of its oxygen to keep himself moving.

10 seconds, he could see the door, it was big, and green, and had one of those push bar handles.

9 seconds, his foot slipped, his knee met the unforgiving corner of concrete, and his ankle twisted.

8 seconds, he caught himself.

7 seconds, pain lit up in his ankle. He kept going

6 seconds, he'd halved the distance to the door

5, he could see himself reaching the door already

4, he had an arm out to catch the push bar

3, he made contact

2, fresh air hit his face

1, he was running. It was like every molecule knew what was coming, like every building block of space was waiting for it. He could feel the charge it in every fiber of his being.

0, he dove for the ground, tucking himself in, harms coming up over his head. He didn't even feel it before it all slammed into him like a freight train. But he knew it was coming, knew it like a sixth sense, knew it like knowing the sky was blue without even looking up.

His ears rang. He hadn't realized before. The ringing in his ears was intense, almost overwhelming. Every thing hurt when he uncurled. His fands were stiff whe he flexed them, it looked like he was piloting a robot instead of his own body, he felt it all but from a distance. The world was bathed in gray. His mouth was dry, it tasted bitter as he smacked his lips together.

Something...

There was something... wrong? Or- he needed to do something? He flexed his fingers again. The world looked frozen. Like even the trees were looking at him, whispering that he was dead. Maybe he was, he couldn't be sure. Uncoordinated movements managed to wobble himself to standing. His back. Something on his back. It hurt. But he couldn't feel it. A hand went to his throbbing, and he stumbled a few step before he collapsed. He was tired. He was breathing but he couldn't feel it in his lungs, knew his chest was moving with it though. Maybe he wasn't breathing. He couldn't feel it. He should breathe, he focused on that. But he was so tired. Maybe too tired. Maybe he didn't need to breathe all that bad. He could just.. he was.. everything hurt. He wasn't breathing, except for his moving chest. It's okay. He'll just.. close his eyes. He'll try breathing again when he woke up again. When everything hurt less. It'll hurt less.

---

It didn't hurt less when he woke up again. It hurt more. A lot more actually. He felt his mouth open with out his command, sound left but he didn't hear it. And he couldn't tell if the incessant, ear-blinding ringing was him or if the world around him had gobe silent in lieu of the ringing.

It was a moment before he realized his eyes were open. The world was still covered in gray powder. Ghost's mask comes into view, it moves like he's speaking, but he's not making any sound. Soap thinks about telling him as much, to turn on his voice, but the world hurts, or maybe he hurts, and either way, it's easier to just close his eyes.

---

A hand smacks his face, he see brown eyes first, gaz's mouth is moving.

A glimpse of green rushing past, but black invades and he lets it happen.

The next thing he blinks and there's white, swishing, lots of it. Coats he realizes. Doctor's. A lot of them. He turns his head, it saps his strength, and the last thing he sees before his eyes close are mouths moving in muted shouts.

He blinks again and he's greeted with blinding white. He's moving. Not with his own two legs. It's fast. It makes him sick. He feels frantic hands on him and then his mouth opens, he feels contents leave him. And then he's being rolled back over. It's too much. He welcomes the dark of unconsciousness again.

---

He wakes slowly, there's a thin stream of air that chills his nose, he can feel cords on him but it would take more effort than it's worth to rip them off, uncomfortable as they were. So a hospital. If it wasn't obvious that was here he was, then it could be the plastic guard rails, or that he could see the edge of a very hospital-esq desk right outside the cracked open hospital-esq door where white flourenscent hospital-esq light leaked through.

It's dark when he opens his eyes. Not terribly so, there's a window that lets in moonlight, but dark enough that his eyes don't burn. There's a figure in the corner of his eye, and when he turns it's Ghost. Slumped down, arms crossed, sleeping. He's wearing one of the balaclavas with the narly faded skull, and the eye black he usually wears looks rubbed off, but not washed off, he can still see evidence of its remains. He looks tired, sporting a twin pair of eye bags the size of a small island, and the line of his shoulders is tenser than usual. He wonders when he got familiar enough with the man to notice his "regular tenseness", but he doesn't dwell.

His throat itches with dryness like he's swallowed a bunch of cotton balls. He's fairly certain he did not do that. There's a glass of what looks like water (or some mysterious other clear liquid) on the swinging side table, he reaches for it, but his movements are uncoordinated, limbs reluctant to listen to his demands. His hand swings a little too far and it knocks the glass to the floor. He watches it shatter, cringing in anticipation of the loud sound, but the sound is muted and far away, like he's listening through a pane of plexiglass. Ghost shoots up in a panic, looking for the danger. He does a quick double take when he sees soap's eyes open, then he notices the shattered reamins of his would-be drink.

Soap can only give him an apologetic look for disturbing his sleep that he looked like he desperately needed. Ghost walks over to him, and it looks like he's talking, but it sounds muffled, again like listening through plexiglass, or like he poured thick ink into his ears. That's not good. He can feel his mouth split into a displeased look. This is very not good. Bad, even.

Ghost leans over him, one of his big hands rests on his chest, he puts a little pressure then lets off. He does it again. And again. In a steady rhythm that soap can't help but follow.

A nurse walks in, and Ghost backs off leaving soap feel a little unteathered, but he's nolonger panicking. The nurse talks but everything is underwater, and someone's poured glue in his ears. He can't help the nervous look at ghost while the nurse keeps on, ghost holds his gaze steady. And then she's gone.

Ghost tries to speak, then he pauses, holds up a finger as if to tell him to wait, and then slips out of the room.

Great. Absolutely perfect. He's gone deaf. Well, that definitely seems like that would be the sort of thing that gets labled as "career ending", a cateer that he was damn good at. Did they even complete the mission he was on? He didn't even know if it was a success. Or even if he'd gotten any one killed. He hoped not. And to top it all off, Ghost had gone. He rationalized that Ghost had clearly meant that he was coming back. And when he did, he'd explain everything. It would be fine. So fine. Completely fine. Aside from the fact that he's probably kicked from the military.

Ghost slipped back into the room, carrying a small whiteboard, and a marker. He'd wrote something on it before turning it to face soap. It was nothing long, just two words. Quick and lethal. "Burst eardrums" oh...

"Recovery?" He felt the words in his chest when he said them, but he wasn't sure how loud he was being.

"Full recovery. Few weeks" he wrote. Soap found he likes the way he wrote. It was a simple scribble.

"The mission?"

"Success. Few casualties. Demo was KIA. Few others"

It was a bitter win, but it was often best not to dwell on it.

"You look like you got run over by a minivan three times." He says with a cheeky smile. One that always gets him a long-suffering sigh. One that he could see but not hear this time.

"Not the one in the bed." Ghost scribbled, and gave him a pointed look. It only served to make his smile toothier before a yawn broke it. Either exhaustion, or pain medication, or a combination of the two wanted to make him sleep, and he wasn't inclined to agree until ghost pushed him down gently, and scribbled "sleep" in black ink.

The morning after was better. Still inky and underwater, but less panicked. Ghost had stayed as well. Gave him a long list of injuries ontop of his missing hearing.

By the end of the week his hearing had improved a bit, words no longer blended into a blur of tv static. And he's told by Ghost that the doctor said it looked like he'd be back a full hearing in the next three weeks or so.

The second week was when the boredom really hit. It he concentrated hard enough he could parse out syllables, some distinct sounds. Nothing very quiet. But the world made sound again. And he'd taken to pestering ghost to wheeling him around the halls since he wasn't allowed to leave. Not until his hearing was back, and he started on PT.

The third week wqs much the same, aside from starting physical therapy. PT sessions weren'tanythingnew to any of them, but it was always a pain in the ass. But the fourth week, he had full sign off that his hearing was back up to 100%, and he's successfully made good progress on his PT sessions, so he was getting discharged, and sent home on medical leave.

Apparently Ghost had followed right behind him, taking leave of his own. And he declared that he was taking soap to his own flat. Soap didn't much and to protest, but he did to hear the amused tone in Ghost's voice when he bickered with the man.

[flowercrowngods]

🤍 also on ao3

It’s just past 3am when Steve finally caves and reaches for the phone on his night stand. His fingers are trembling slightly as he dials Eddie’s number — he knows it by heart even though he never called before. Eddie gave it to him a few weeks ago, making him promise that he’d call if he ever needed to talk.

“Any time of day or night, alright, Harrington? Call me whenever.”

And so that’s what he’s doing now, feeling strangely vulnerable about it. There’s no way Eddie’s gonna pick up. He’s gonna wake him. He’s gonna keep him from his sleep, possibly even interrupting one of the few nightmare-less nights he has.

Steve feels guilty the very second the dial tone meets the silence of his room, his chest heavy, eyes closed. Part of him hopes that Eddie won’t pick up the phone, that he’s in deep enough sleep to miss the call, that he’ll come into Family Video tomorrow and smile at Steve like he always does, none the wiser.

But, miraculously, amazingly, unfortunately, Eddie does pick up the phone. Rather immediately, at that.

“Yeah?” He sounds sleepy, and Steve’s heart falls immediately. He can’t get his mouth to work, only holding the phone to his ear, soaking up Eddie’s sleepy voice and trying to replace the guilt, the weakness, the heaviness of another sleepless night. “Hello?”

Steve remains silent. Can’t quite get the words to work. Fucking figures.

“Stevie? It’s you, isn’t it?”

He nods, stupidly, before saying, “Yeah. Sorry.”

“Hey now, what the hell do you have to be sorry for?” There’s shuffling on the other side and Steve imagines that Eddie is sitting up now, settling in to listen to the sob story of the nightmare Steve had without even falling asleep first. He does that sometimes. Doctor Owens has a fancy term for it, but Steve doesn’t want a label for his insanity. Because if there’s a label, that means it’s nothing special — and that’s kinda the only thing he has left.

But he doesn’t tell Eddie anything about that. Maybe one day. If he sticks around. Gods, but Steve hopes he does.

“If you’re sorry for calling me,” Eddie continues, his voice impossibly soft, “you don’t gotta be that. It’s fine. It’s why you have this number, alright? I’m here.” There’s more silence for a moment, but it’s the kind of silence that leaves him room to breathe. Eddie is good at that kind of silence, despite the fact that he talks so much all the time.

Maybe it’s the constant talking that makes the silences all the more significant.

“What do you need, Stevie?” Eddie asks then, and Steve hides under his blanket, the phone pressed to his ear. “I could come over. Or you could come over, I don’t really care either way.”

“No. Don’t wanna move. And…” No company, he wants to say, but the words get stuck in his throat. Sometimes company and kindness make the bad times worse. They make it more real, and what Steve needs is for everything to be a little less real. Maybe that’s why he’s calling Eddie. There’s no way that boy with his doe eyes and his wide smiles and his gentle voice in the middle of the night is real.

“Alright, I got it.” Eddie breathes deeply on the other end and Steve remembers that that’s a good idea actually, so he follows Eddie’s breath for a while.

“Can we just…” He trails off. Gives up on finding words, cringing at himself, glad that Eddie can’t see him like this.

“Can we what, hm?”

Steve shakes his head and remains silent, knows that his voice will sound anything but strong when he opens his mouth, and every second Eddie doesn’t hear what a mess he is, is important.

“I’m bad at this,” is what he settles on, closing his eyes against the world inside and outside his blanket.

“At what? Sleep? Words?”

Yes, and yes. But it’s not what he means. “Asking for things. I’m not good at that.”

“Hey, neither am I,” Eddie says and it sounds like he’s smiling. Steve imagines it and he hopes, oh he hopes that Eddie is smiling. “Y’know how I told you to call me whenever? That was essentially me just asking for you to call me. To know that… that I’m here.”

“I do,” Steve says quietly, and his body is sort of trembling with the confession. “I do know that.”

“Good,” Eddie breathes. “So what do you need?”

Steve sighs and pretends he’s somewhere else, pretends he’s in a world where asking is easy, where being known comes naturally and not with shaking voice and trembling hands. Pretends Eddie knows him already.

“Can we just… Fall asleep like this? Talking, I mean, though I don’t even know if I have things to say. The silence is more important anyway. You’re good at those, did you know?”

A light chuckle comes from Eddie, and Steve smiles along with it. “I’m good at silences? Me, Eddie Munson? You sure you don’t have the wrong number?”

“Very.” It’s all Steve says, and then it’s Eddie who’s quiet— as if to prove his point.

“Yeah, Stevie,” he says after a beat, his voice making Steve shiver. “We can fall asleep like this. Do you need me to talk to you, or…?”

He considers briefly, but he already knows the answer. He doesn’t need Eddie to talk. Just needs him to be there.

“Nah. Just… Just be there?”

There’s a hum now — the same kind of hum that Eddie always does right before giving him that secret smile of his, when he’s about to touch Steve or give him a new pet name. Sometimes, when the door to Family Video falls shut behind Eddie and Steve is left to deal with his fluttering heart, he likes to believe that this him has been placed into the universe with his name to it.

He wonders if Eddie knows. If the hum tastes like his name, if it makes Eddie’s heart flutter just as much.

“Hey Stevie?” Eddie interrupts their silence after a while and Steve can’t fight the smile on his lips.

“Yeah?”

“Did you know that otters hold hands at night so they don’t drift away from each other in their sleep?” He waits for a moment, allowing for a reaction, leaving another silence for him to claim. He does, but only with a smile as he grips the phone tighter, imagining it to be Eddie’s hand. “This sorta feels like that.”

The trembling that hasn’t really stopped is back now, the air heavy with implications and possibilities. Steve swallows.

“You keeping me from drifting away, Munson?”

“I hope so.”

It’s whispered words across the lines, crossing lines and blurring them. It’s taking his breath away, replacing it with something else, something new, something he has only felt when they were alone, but never this intense. He fills his lungs with it.

“Hey Eddie?”

“Yeah?”

More whispers, more greedy lungfuls of this something new.

“Is it bad that I kinda wanna hold your hand now?”

A beat, a sigh, a careful breath. It makes Steve think that the air in Eddie’s room is sizzling too, heavy and light at the same time. Maybe it’s just as addictive.

“Only if it’s bad that I’m kinda imagining yours in mine right now.”

Steve shakes his head again and doesn’t feel stupid about it now. “I don’t think that’s bad,” he whispers.

“Good.”

Maybe whispers are their new language. Maybe everything else is too harsh for this fragile thing, maybe the world outside Steve’s blanket isn’t ready to see the smile on his face or hear the rapid beat of his heart. He doesn’t mind.

“Tomorrow. Can I hold your hand tomorrow?”

“What do you mean, Stevie, you’re already holding it.” And there’s that smile again that makes Steve huff out the softest of chuckles, hiding his face in his pillow to ground himself against this heady feeling. “Yeah, you can hold it tomorrow, but only if I can hold yours, how’s that sound?”

“Sounds perfect, Eds,” Steve says, just louder than a whisper, and he waits with bated breath if anyone out there in the universe heard, if their bubble would burst.

But it doesn’t. Eddie only murmurs a sweet, soft, “Can’t wait.” And then there’s only silence because they’re both smiling, hearts racing, hands trembling around the phantom touch of warm fingers. They fall asleep like that soon after.

[infiniteglitterfall]

OMG, COULD EVERYONE PLEASE STOP IMMEDIATELY BELIEVING AND REPEATING DISINFORMATION?!

Sorry, I just. Was just on Twitter, and I snapped.

I literally haven't seen one true statement about Israel on social media in MONTHS.

It's gotten to the point that I'm seriously considering starting a sideblog fact-checking all of it.

PLEASE STOP BEING GARFIELD I AM BEGGING ALL OF YOU

BE NERMAL FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

I've written at least one really long post about fact-checking things before. I have another saved as a draft somewhere.

But all you really have to do at this point is GO LOOK AT AN ACTUAL NEWS SOURCE.

What do I mean by an Actual News Source?

An actual news source will tell you where it's getting its information.

Basically: Wikipedia rules apply at all times. Citation. Fucking. Needed.

Except with news articles, I don't mean a detailed footnote.

I mean, if they say, "Rosco Flubberish reported seeing a pig fly across Whatever Place. 'It was a flying pig,' he said," they're fine.

If they say, "Sources close to the President reported that the Department of Farmland Creatures launched a pig into the air this afternoon," they're fine.

If they say, "There have also been reports that pigs flew," they are purely making shit up.

Just check CNN or something. CNN checks their shit, and they're very quick on the draw.

NBC has been very reliable too, in my experience. So have ABC, Newsweek, the Jerusalem Post, the Guardian, the New York Times, the AP, PBS, the Washington Post, and Reuters.

You can break through most paywalls by putting archive.is or 12ft.io before the https:// of the URL. Or just go to either of those sites and paste the URL in the box.

Nobody is perfect. I've seen some articles from all of the above that were accurate, but left things out that I personally thought were important.

Journalists are humans, humans fuck up.

(Also, NONE OF THIS APPLIES TO OPINION PIECES ON ANY TOPIC. Opinion pieces are exactly that: opinions. They don't seem to be fact-checked anywhere, as far as I can tell. They range from super-accurate and informative to complete nonsense.)

(Surprisingly unreliable sources in my experience: Democracy Now, Jacobin, Workers World Party. The latter two act like news sites but are basically running nothing but opinion pieces; Democracy Now can do important deep dives, but I've also seen news coverage from it that was wildly misinformed in that same way.

On the flip side, Slate and the Atlantic are largely opinion -- the Atlantic more than Slate, maybe -- but they often have really well-researched analysis of political situations. Ditto Teen Vogue, and sometimes Vox.)

You don't have to read CNN or the NYT or whateverfor fun. You don't have to make it one of your news sources.

Just. Do a quick check on Google News before you assume anything is true, and then run it through a bullshit filter as described above.

You are being actively lied to, all the time. So am I. We all are.

And people will believe and repeat literally anything that sounds about right.

That's just human nature.

That is WHY none of us are immune to propaganda.

if you want my personal shortlist of Bad Sources, as in Sources That Consistently Publish Absolute Falsehoods:

Any and all state-owned or state-controlled media. For example:

Al Jazeera is owned by the Qatari government, and so are a bunch of other news sites.

Mehr News, the Tehran Times, Al-Quds TV, and Al-Alam are owned by the dictatorship of Iran.

Oops. Looks like every form of broadcast Iranian news media is owned by the dictatorship of Iran, which has a monopoly.

Palestinian Broadcasting Corporation, Palestinian News and Info Agency, and Al-Hayat Al-Jadida are owned by the government of Palestine (the Palestinian Authority)

Al-Aqsa TV and Felesteen are owned by Hamas.

TASS / Russia News Agency, Russia Today, and a fuckton of others are owned by the Russian government.

State Media Monitor seems to do a pretty great job of tracking and listing these things. Check out your own country there!

I specifically listed those ones because some of them (especially Al Jazeera, Mehr News, and TASS) are sites I've seen come up frequently on Tumblr, or in my attempts to fact-check what people are saying here and on Twitter. The rest are just more examples from the same governments.

Al Jazeera deserves special notice because it's become a very popular leftist news source. Believe me, I used to read it all the time too.

It can be reliable and accurate sometimes. But:

It consistently tweets things that are unsourced, never appear anywhere else, and that would be big news you'd expect it to follow up on if they were true. It seems to be following a strategy of "tweet every rumor you hear in case it's true, so you can get the scoop."

It also does this with its liveblogs of the war. And ALL its coverage of the war at this point is liveblogs. So things that are verifiably true will run right next to things that are complete hearsay, but are too long to just tweet.

This is especially dangerous because as far as I can tell, Al Jazeera doesn't delete anything that turns out to be false.

I've also seen regular news articles in Al Jazeera, on multiple topics, that veer from Absolutely True Statements to Wildly Exaggerated Numbers and Speculation. Stuff you wouldn't expect a source on, like statistics or descriptions. And there's no way to tell the difference unless you already know a topic really well, or are fact-checking them while you read.

One especially terrible example, from Gazan activist Ahmed Fouad Alkhatib:

Al Jazeera has never posted or published a correction.

Alkhatib has also blamed it for destabilizing the region, although he's exaggerating about it being Hamas's official propaganda outlet:

TL;DR: If you see a Tumblr post making any kind of factual news statement without a link, at this point you need to assume it is absolutely not true. And either scroll on past, or go check Google News.

If there IS a link, you need to click through to see what it's from and what it actually says.

(Honestly, you need to do that with Wikipedia too. I've repeatedly clicked through on citations that absolutely did not say what the article implied they did.)

And pro tip: on mobile, you can just smack a button to sort Google's news results by most recent, and it helps A LOT. There's gotta be a way to do the same on desktop, but if there is, it's not immediately visible, which sucks.

[oacest]

"i've waited for a thousand years... for you to come and FUCK ME--!" (x)

[vulpixisananimal]

"Eaaaasy Sif."

(Isabeau was helping you walk across your room. Stars, your legs still felt so weak, but, still you walked.)

"Oh this is anything but easy." (You joke.)

"-snrk- W-well if you can't walk we can try another day-"

"I can walk! I can!" (You say, pouting. You had made a deal that if you could walk to your door then you'd be healthy enough to finally leave your blinding room.)

"Well if You're sure!! I'll let you try by yourself, ok?"

(You nod, Isabeau let's go of your arm, and you took a step. So far so good. Let's try another.)

(Stardust, you look ridiculous~)

(You stumble a little, but catch yourself. Do you MIND?!?)

(Not at all, actually~)

"Are you alright?!?" (Isa asked, oh forever worrying.)

"M' fine, just, Loop being annoying."

"O-oh! Well let Sif be, alright! They're trying their best!!"

(Oh fine, I'll behave~)

"They say they'll behave."

(Isa smiles, you take another step, then another, just, a few more steps and. . . You trip as you make it to your door and you end up hanging onto the handle.)

". . . Eh, close enough." (Isa walked over and offered his hand. You took it.) "I'll help you downstairs."

"Yay!!" (Say the line.) "Thank you Mr. Amazinglywonderfullfunnybuffisabeau."

"!!!! S-Sif!!!" (He rubs his shoulder, blushing.) "Y-you can't just say that! I have-"

"-The heart of a delicate maiden?" (you wink, cheekily.) "Oh, I know~"

(Isabeau hides his face in his hands. Oh Stardust you flirt~)

(You TOLD me to do it!)

(And you did~)

"A-alright, alright, alright. A-are you ready to go now?"

"Yeah." (You smile.) "Ready now."

(Before you could respond, Isabeau scooped you up like you were a sack of flower. Now YOU were blushing.) "H-hey!!"

"No way you can tackle stairs, Sif." (Isa gets the door with his shoulder.) "You're taking the Isabeau Express!"

"S-stars. . ." (Ok, it wasn't that bad. Isa was big! And strong! And was carying you very gently. You held on less for dear life, but to try and calm your beating heart.)

(What's wrong, can't hanndle the big guy~?)

(YOU'RE NOT DOING ANY BETTER!!!)

(We'll I'M not so OBVIOUS about it!)

"Last stop comin up!" (Isa says as you two get down stairs.) "Please make sure you haven't left any luggage on your seat!"

(You hide your face in your hands.)

"What're you-" (That was Nille, she paused, then burst out laughing.)

"The Isabeau Express is NO laughing matter Pétronille!"

"S-sure-" (She was trying really hard to stop her laughter.) "Wh. well! Is it a luxary experience, Siffy?"

(You simply groan behind your hands. They both laugh a little.)

"A-alright I'll put you down, if you want."

(You, you really don't want to be put down, actually. This is really nice. You shake your head.)

(Oooooh look at youuuuuuu~)

"O-oh!" (You couldn't see it, but he was DEFFINATLY blushing.)

"Oh wow." (Nille punched Isa's shoulder.) "Look at you two, so sweet I'll get a toothache. C'mon, breakfast's ready."

(Oh Stardust, are you suuuuure you want to be caaaaried through where eeeeveryone can see?)

(Shut up shut up shut up PLEASE shut up.)

"Delivery!" (Isabeau yelled as he walked into the common area.) "Someone order a very tired Siffrin?"

(You braved looking from behind your hands, Mirabel, Odile, Bonnie, and. . . Ramos, where all starting on breakfast. Nille joined them.)

"-Snrk- G-good morning you two!!" (Mirabelle was trying REALLY hard not to laugh.)

"Why are you carrying 'Frin like apples?" (Said Bonnie, they were about to dig into some absolutly delicious looking pancakes.)

"I didn't want him to worry about the stairs!" (Isa responds.)

"And so you decided to carry them instead?" (Odile said from behind a book.) "Or is that just your excuse."

"I-It's not!!!"

"Wow Isa, not like you to make excuses." (Ramos says, cheekily.)

"I don't need excuses!!"

"Y-youcanputmedownnow-" (You mutter, stars, you're NEVER going to live this down.)

(Isa puts you down, finally. You stand for a moment, wobbly, before collapsing into a chair. Your familly claps.)

"VERY well done!!"

"So proud!! So cool!!"

"Quite a show, Siffrin."

"Thank you, thank you~" (You weakly give a wave, Stars, it was good to be around everyone again, even if it was a struggle.) "I've been practicing that performance all week."

"It's really impressive!!" (Mira says excitedly.) "That doctor said you'd be out for at least another week! It really is amazing!"

"Worst case of craft exhaustion she'd ever seen, right?" (Odile continues.) "Goes without saying, but you should be dead, Siffrin."

"I feel dead." (You get a bit more comfortable in your chair, oh stars, food.) "Oh, doctor?"

"Don't remember?" (Mira asks,) "W-well you were pretty out of it- Oh! We didn't tell her anything important don't worry!!"

"I knew you wouldn't." (You smile weakly.)

"Hey let Siffy eat, big celebration after all." (Nille says- oh stars there she goes pilling MORE food onto your plate.)

(Can we PLEASE eat already.)

(You dig in. Yummy!! Super yummy!! Oh stars, Bonnie must have gone all out for this!!)

"W-woah, careful Sif."

"Let them carbbing eat, 'Za!"

"Language."

"YOU'RE language."

(You try not to choke on your food as you laugh. It was nice, being around them all again, REALLY around them all. The past week had been. . . Blurry. You barely remembered anything. Sometimes you weren't you. Sometimes you could barely move. It was all just, so much.)

(But, you were back! You were back here! With good food, REALLY good food. Everyone was happy, everyone was safe, even. . .)

(You swallow your food and put your fork to the side. Right. You need to ask.)

"So. . ." (You look over at them.) "Ramos."

(They sink into their chair a little.) "S-siffrin?"

"Hey."

"Uh, h-hey!"

"So, I gotta say, what you did wasn't very nice."

(They look away.) "Y-yeah, I'm s-"

"But after a week to think about it?" (Joke time.) "I don't really Mind it at all~"

"NO!"

"BAD!!"

"BOOO!!"

"HAHA!! YES!!!"

(Ramos looks at you, perplexed, bewildered, beffudled; then bursts out laughing. Mission accomplished.)

(WOW, Stardust, you ~really~ are that forgiving, aren't you~?)

(No, you're not. But people deserve a second chance.)

(Ramos shakes their head.) "Haha. . . I-I, I am really sorry, Siffrin."

"Oh, we know." (You say, smiling.) "It really sucked, needing to retry the same day over and over and over again, friends memories changing, getting hurt. But hey, we got our happy ending after all."

(Ramos sunk down again, sheepish.) "S-sorry. . ."

"If it makes you feel any better, we've been through worse."

"That's not a good thing!!!" (Mira exclaims.) "Besides, Madame Odile worked really hard to make sure there wasn't any lingering mind craft on anyone."

"That I did." (Odile nods.) "It was more difficult than I thought, how someone changes a mind is much more intricate than changing a body."

"What bout that star?" (You ask.) "It wasn't a wish, was it."

"Well I'm no expert in wish craft." (Odile says while smugly holding up a hand.) "But the emblem only had extremely potent mind craft molded into it. Ramos?" (She gestures to the defender-in-training.)

"R-right." (They nod.)

"I, I got it from someone who came to visit the Defenders house one day. We met, he seemed nice, there was. . . Yeah there was someone with him too."

"What'd they look like?" (You ask.)

(They shook their head.) "Don't remember, I tried real hard, but, nothing. . ."

"You tried your best, and that's ok!!" (Mira said supportivley.)

(They smile, and continue.) "We talked, I must have said something, cause they asked about my Guardian, it was, it was. . ." (They snap their fingers.) "About the Island! North of Vaugarde!"

"Oh." (Yeah, of course it was the Island.) "Do you remember anything specific?"

"N-not really, they asked me a lot, about my guardian, about me, and gave me that emblem, saying it would grant my wish."

"Which was to be strong, like Isabeau." (You say.)

"W-well. . ." (They rub their shoulder.) "Yes and no? I-I mean I did! But, w-well. . . . . . . I was, worried, about, Changing. And how my guardian would take it. A new face, new name."

"O-oh!!" (Mira said, surprised. Did they not explain this to everyone yet?)

(They continue.) "T-they're really nice and accepting!! And said they'd accept me whoever I turn out to be, but, b-but. . ." (They pause, as if considering something.)

". . . Are you sure you're okay talking about it? Rams?" (Isa says, well, maybe HE knew about it. They were good friends, after all.)

"Nono, I'm, I'm ok, with sharing it." (They breathe in, and out.) "I'm. . . I'm from Poteria, and, my parents there weren't, weren't the nicest people. When I found out about Changing and, brought it up to them they. . ."

(There was a cold pause, Mira looked worried, Isa supportive, and Nille. . . Nille looked, well, you couldn't place that look.)

(Ramos continues, finally.) ". . They didn't take it well. So, I cut my losses, and ran away. Don't remember much, untill I met my Guardian, Aunya, they were from that Island, back then people remembered it still. They were my real parent."

"That's. . ." (Mira starts.)

"That's great!" (Nille says.) "Glad you found a good place!!"

"Heh, thanks." (They're smiling.)

(. . . You missed a lot, didn't you.)

(Look at your friends, they're cracking jokes, chatting, smiling like nothing happened. It's been a week, have you even realized that yet?)

(. . .)

(And for us, it was so much more~ We spent so long fighting this. . . This coward, trying to figure out what has happening, why it was happening. I was stuck, here, needing to deal with this while you were struck down with that blinding mind craft!)

(They deserve a second chance? That's what you're going to tell me? After All of MY hard work?!?)

"Siffrin?" (You look up, Mirabelle was talking to you.) "Are you okay?"

"Huh?" (You look down, oh, you were gripping your wrist, your knuckles were pale.) "O-oh, yeah, sorry. . ."

"What's going on, Sif?" (Isa asks. You look away.)

(Stars. . . What do you say?)

(What DO you say, Stardust~ Tell them you don't trust Ramos? Their new friend? Or do you suck it down again. Just wait untill it eats, you, alive.)

". . . It's. . ." (You breathe in, and out.) "Just, hard to believe."

"Huh?"

(You continue.) "That it's, over."

". . ."

"Ah. . ."

"O-oh!"

"It's just, over." (You keep breathing.) "It was that easy, there wasn't any burnt sugar, no twist, no reason to be forced back again. Just, snap that emblem and. . ."

"Well there is still the question of who gave it to Ramos, and why." (Odile adds.)

"Timing, M'dame"

"Ah, r-right."

(You shook your head.) "N-no, no there is still that, just. . . It's just, hard, for us to get over." (Hard to get over how Ramos is just, here.)

". . ." (Ramos fiddled with his utensils before speaking.) ". . . Is. . . Is there any way I can, help with that?"

(You don't respond right away. How? How could they help? It wasn't exactly their fault. Well, it was. But they are sorry, and it seems like they do want to help. Stars, what a turnaround.) "Doubt it. It'll just, take time."

"A-alright. . ."

(. . . Let's just move on.) "A-alright, well, is there anything else I should know Ramos?"

"O-oh! Right!" (They nod, and continue.) "I don't remember if those people who gave me the star told me where they're going next. Sorry."

"You shouldn't appoligise." (Odile says.) "Your mind has as many holes as Siffrins right now."

"Hey!" (You say, pouting.)

(Ramos chuckles.) "I guess, b-but uh, speaking of that, just so you know, full transparency and such. I, do still know some Mind Craft. S-sorry."

(Oh. Ew. You make a face.)

"N-nothing as strong as before!! I promise!!"

"Right, right." (You twiddle your fork.) "Just, no touch."

"Yessir." (Ramos nods.) "That's, that's basicly everything I know."

"Well it's a few questions answered." (Nille says, leaning back.) "Just wondering who those two crabbing idiots who started this were."

"And if they're gonna cause more trouble." (Isabeau adds.)

". . . That's it!" (Mirabelle perks up.) "That'll be our new little quest!! The mystery of the mind craft duo!!"

(You look up at her in shock.) ". . . What?"

"Oh!! I LOVE that idea!!!" (Isa joins in.) "Traveling aimlessly could be so BORING, but a mystery? Oh man, it would be right out of a story book!!"

"You guys are weird." (Bonnie says between bites.)

"I have to agree with the kid." (Odile replies.) "But, the idea is novel."

(Ramos looks like they're about to say something, then stops, looking back down.)

(. . . You're not serious Stardust.)

(What, I didn't even think anything~)

(Yes you did!! Are you insaine!?!)

(Yes, yes we are.) "Do you want to come with us, Ramos?"

"H-HUH!?!" (Ramos looks up, surprised.) "Wh-huh??? What??? Me?!??"

"OH GREAT IDEA!!!" (Isabeau says.) "I think you'd have a great time!!"

"Our first destination could be visiting your guardian." (Odile adds.) "And we'd be able to support you if they do not."

"It would be fun!!" (Mira is bouncing in her seat excitedly.)

"I-I dunno. . . I'll think about it." (Ramos says, looking up at you, then away.)

"Take your time!! It's a big decision after all." (Isa says. He gives you a look of thanks, probably for offering to invite them along.)

(I wish I'd strangled you, Stardust.)

(Try winning next time.)

"But first, Siffrin needs to rest up." (Odile looks over at you.) "And we do need to talk about your health."

(You groan.) "Do we gotta?"

(Yes, Stardust~)

"Yes, Siffrin. (Odile echoes.) "Both physically and mentally."

(You wince.) "R-right, we, we would like to avoid passing out for a week."

"You nearly died, Siffrin!!" (Isa exclaims.) "Please please promise me to be careful with time craft? Please?"

"I-I, whuh-" (You blink. What?)

"I doubt they remember." (Odile looks away from you.) "You had a heart attack, Siffrin, likely from extreme exhaustion. A-and. . ." (She pauses, considering her words.) "Because you nearly died, I had, to stop you from looping."

"Oh. . ." (Like, like before.) "But, wouldn't that have, not been that-"

"Siffrin if you died there where would you have looped back to." (Odile leans over to you, looking you in the eye.) "The moment you woke up. Woke up having a heart attack. What do you think would have happened then?"

(Oh.)

(O-oh. . .)

(You look down, you were holding your wrist again. The temperature had dropped to Sub-Zero temperatures. If, if she didn't. . .)

". . . T-thank you, Odile."

(She sighs, back to her book.) "Please, just be more careful. Mirabelle, please, I'm done talking."

"O-oh!" (Mirabelle perked up.) "O-ok! Right! So! S-so for one Madame Odile has been looking into some really strong medicine to try and limit craft exhaustion. For emergencies only though!!"

"Ideally we won't need you to loop ever again, really." (Isa mumbles.)

(You nod.) "F-fair, it's, it's really not a nice experience."

(But what if you start looping again~)

(. . . Right.) "Actually, should we get a codeword for if I'm looping again?"

"Oh!!!"

"Smart!"

"Like a secret spy or something?!?" (Bonnie says excitedly.)

"Haha! Yeah exactly like that. How about. . ."

(Loop?)

(. . . Back to the stage.)

"Back to the stage." (You finish, before realizing what you just said.)

"Huh. . ."

"Uh, cute!"

"Oh!!" (Bonnie raises a hand.) "'Cause it's like you're acting? Like in one of those plays?"

"U-UH-" (Wow ok! You didn't expect Bonnie of all people to get that!) "Y-yeah! Yeah cause we're acting things out, yeah!"

(There was a general nod of agreement. A good codeword. Stars, for such a nice breakfast you sure did need to deal with a lot of existentialism and anxiety. You go to finish up your food, glad that's over-)

"Oh! One more thing, Sif?" (Mirabelle asks.)

(HAH!)

(You wince, and finish your bite.) "Uh, yeah?"

"Is, there someone else around? You are saying 'we' a lot."

(Wuhoh. You sink down in your chair.) "O-ohright."

"Around?" (Ramos says from organizing their utensils for the nth time.)

"OH!!" (Mira puts her hands to her mouth.) "U-Uh!! Right, uh, I-I'm sorry I didn't think about-"

"I-if this is private, I can go."

(You look between Mira, Ramos, and the others at the table. Stars, what a thing to jump on you! You did promise you'd be more vulnerable, but-)

(STARDUST! You barely know Ramos! It took you months to work up the courage to tell your family. Are you sure you aren't being mind controlled still~?)

(You massage your temple. Great. Headache.)

"s-sorry. . ." (Mirabelle says, looking down.) "I, didn't mean to-"

"You're fine, loops just being a bitch." (ME? being a WHAT?!? I'm trying to keep you from being an IDIOT Stardust! Stars above you are so DENSE!!) "They're cranky because I'm better at talking to people than them."

(WHAT?!?)

(The others at the table laugh, except Ramos, who still looked confused. You said you'd explain to them another time. Whenever that time might be, if ever.)

(But right now, you were hungry.)

(You needed a rest.)

[shootingstarpilot]

In Which Helix Loses His Godsdamned Temper

A gift for my dear friend @themonopolyhat, who wanted to know how the swivel chair race briefly mentioned in Chapter 11 of like lightning changing hands went down <3

Helix and sleep are passing acquaintances at best.

Not enemies, no- he's not a fool. He's a good medic. He knows sleep is important. Even for the clones, who were conditioned to function on half as much sleep as a human nat-born- toxic byproducts need to be processed. New neural pathways need to be formed. Memories need to be filed away. So of course he makes time for it. He most certainly doesn't need Needle coaxing him away from his desk or switching out his stims or shoving him down onto a cot and sitting on him until he passes out- no matter how much the younger medic might protest otherwise-

But. His point.

He makes room for it. Their moments of true downtime are few and far between, but Helix always makes sure to squeeze in a treasured nap or two when he gets the chance.

Which is why, when he's rudely awoken by shouting outside the medbay door that is not immediately followed by the reveal of some horrific injury, Helix decides he's well overdue to rain hellfire down on whatever hapless idiots decided to work out their post-campaign jitters right outside his fucking medbay.

He pulls the pillow off his head, rolls to his feet, and stalks towards the door, carefully selecting his most threatening expression and arranging it appropriately.

When the door slides open, he inhales-

And then lets the air out again in a slightly anticlimactic whoosh when he comes face to face with an empty hallway.

Feeling immensely irritated, he steps out of the doorway and glances to the left and right.

Where-?

The noise is barely a ripple at the back of his mind, at first. Almost indistinguishable from the ever-present rumbling of the engines.

Then it very quickly overtakes it.

Helix, operating solely on well-honed instinct, flattens himself against the wall just in time for a blur of motion to careen around the corner. They slow as they hit the curve, just enough for him to make out-

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Auks, on the swivel chair, gripping both edges with white-knuckled hands- Wooley, hands on the back of the chair, moving at a dead sprint-

Auks' gaze flickers up just enough to catch Helix's eyes, wild glee melting into a pants-pissing terror. They disappear around the next corner, and Helix indulges in a mental pat on the back when he hears Auks' distant shriek of-

"Go faster!"

Right.

He lets them go. He'll catch up with them later.

After a moment's consideration, he steps into the middle of the hallway, studying the water stain on the ceiling with all the appearance of sincere diligence.

The distant rumbling grows louder.

Hm. He should think about filing a work order with Maintenance.

Underneath, now, the sound of footsteps-

They don't want to let that pipe burst, after all.

"OhshitohfuckCOVER-"

He doesn't move.

A screeching noise, an even louder scream-

A tangle of limbs tumbles past his left, slamming into the corner with a force that Helix deliberately doesn't wince at.

Longshot is the first to sit up, carefully disentangling himself from the pathetic remains of the chair. He doesn't look at all frightened when he looks up at Helix.

Just resigned.

"In my defense," he says, rolling his shoulder assessingly, "I told them this location was a bad idea."

"It was," Helix agrees, poisonously sweet.

Gearshift is the next to emerge, clutching at his face. Longshot pats him on the back. "All good?"

Faintly muffled, slightly more stuffy-

"You broke my nose!"

"I broke your nose?"

"You!" Gearshift amends, pointing at Helix, the effect of his glare somewhat lessened by the blood pouring between his fingers. "What were you thinking?"

"Standing in the hallway?"

"Y-"

Gearshift falters.

Helix smiles at him.

"Do you know how big this ship is, Gearshift?" he says mildly.

"Pretty big, sir," Gearshift mutters.

"Do you know how often I have time to nap?"

"Probably not very often, sir."

"Do you know how loud you idiots were?"

"No, sir."

"This was the third round, though," Longshot adds blithely. "Can't have been too bad if you slept through the other two-"

"Shut your mouth," Helix says pleasantly. "Where are the others?"

Longshot points.

"Right," Helix says, already running through his death-be-upon-you-if-you-try-this-banthashit-again speech in the back of his mind. He jabs a finger at Gearshift. "Stay here. I want to take a look at your nose when I get- stop tilting your head back, do you want to asphyxiate on your own blood? I'll be right back."

He stalks off without waiting for an answer.

The others aren't far off. Two hallways down and Helix can already make out the cheerful chatter, rising alongside his blood pressure.

"-and Auks clocked in at three minutes on the dot, fastest lap yet," Waxer says cheerfully. Helix picks up his pace. "Right, Trapper, you're up- who's your partner?"

Trapper is, however, doomed to a life of loneliness, because it's at that precise moment that Helix rounds the corner and launches into a lecture that will be whispered about among the shinies for years to come.

"-swivel chairs! Fucking swivel chairs, I thought you were all supposed to be soldiers, not tubies running along the godsdamned catwalks-"

Trapper shrinks backwards, ducks his head, and his patient resignation drives Helix's ire to new heights-

"-had the entire ship to be suicidal in, but no, you had to plot out your fucking racecourse directly outside my fucking medbay when I was getting the first sleep I'd had in three days-"

Waxer scuffs his foot against the floor, looking like he's considering taking a step backward, and then thinks better of it-

"-slammed his head into the wall and broke his fucking nose, if he'd hit half an inch higher his brains would've spilled out like soup because you couldn't even think to use your fucking helmets-"

Boil seizes the opportunity when Helix is forced to stop for breath.

"We did have supervision," he points out. "Medical. So, you know- we got cleared-"

"Who," Helix grits out, "the fuck-"

The crowd pulls back like the tide, and Helix stares.

Stitch stares up at him from where he's perched on the edge of yet another swivel chair, white-faced.

Needle, holding onto the back, offers him a wave.

"Integrated supervision," he says cheerfully. "New management principle I heard about, thought we could give it a try-"

A muscle in Helix's jaw jumps.

"You two," he grits out, "with me. And the rest of you-" he snaps, at the rustle of a collective relieved sigh- "pull this banthashit again, and I'll deliver you to Grievous hog-tied on a platter- now, am I understood?"

At the affirmative murmurs, he turns on his heel and strides off, followed hurriedly by his two renegade medics.

The strained silence is broken only by two sets of footsteps for some time.

"Stitch," Helix says, after a moment, "get off the chair."

A pause. Then three sets of footsteps.

Then, so quiet Helix has to strain to hear it-

"Is Gearshift okay?"

Helix closes his eyes and forces a slow exhale out through his nose.

(His head is pounding.)

"Yeah," he says, making a conscious effort to gentle his voice. "Just a broken nose. No other trauma that I could tell. You deal with that when we get back, okay? Run him through the gauntlet. Use your best judgement."

"Okay, Helix."

The silence gains a certain obnoxious quality to it.

"And you," Helix says, considering-

Then it hits him.

"You can put that nutritional learning module to use," he decides. "Kitchens. Run through the new requisition forms with Terror. Help him rebuild a sustainable menu; the routine shipments got changed last week."

Needle does not appear half as peeved as Helix would like him to.

He catches Helix's glare and grins, irrepressibly sunny. "Will do, boss. Terror and I are friends, I like his company."

"Terror doesn't do friends."

"Mm, fair. We're nemeses, then. I think that's the closest thing he has."

Helix's glower darkens.

The rest of the walk back is silent.

They split when they reach the medbay. Stitch heads for Gearshift immediately- and Longshot, who, Helix notes with mild surprise, had stayed with him. Needle peels off for the kitchens, humming under his breath with a nonchalance that makes Helix want to deck him.

And Helix-

Helix heads for his office.

All inclination towards sleep has vanished. He grits his teeth, settles into his chair, rubs at his forehead-

He's sure there's some flimsiwork he can get ahead on.

Later:

After he realizes exactly why Stitch is skittering away from him at every turn-

After he sits him down and patiently explains that the absolute worst punishment he will ever receive- the punishment for the Fuck-Up Of All Fuck-Ups, the punishment if he is found to be unfit for medical work- will be being reassigned to a different unit-

After he sees their youngest primary off to bed, guilt still pulling his shoulders low and dragging at his steps-

Needle comes back.

The first Helix knows of this is when a knock at his office door rouses him from staring at the same page on his datapad that he has been for the past forty minutes.

"Come in," he mutters, and Needle pokes his head through the door.

"Hey, boss," he says, and steps in fully, carefully shutting the door behind him. "New menu's been filed. Double- and triple-checked."

"Mhm."

Needle settles into the chair and sets a cup Helix hadn't noticed him carrying onto his desk.

"Tea," he says quietly, in answer to Helix's questioning look. "Thought you might need it."

Helix grumbles something incoherent, but picks up the drink anyway.

The warmth seeps all the way up his arms, into his shoulders, and he relaxes quite against his will.

They sit in silence for a long moment.

"Things were getting tense in the training rooms," Needle says at last. "They were at each other's throats. Kamei had already dislocated Trigger's shoulder, and he didn't even seem sorry- you know how those two are."

Helix blinks. He does- and- that's right, they hadn't been there, had they?

"This was the first thing I could come up with. I should've thought of the helmets, you were right about that- I'm sorry I didn't. I just wanted to get them moving."

"And of course this was the first thing you thought of," Helix mutters. He sees Needle's expression twist briefly, and guiltily musters up a quirk of his lips. "Sounds like you."

Needle returns the smile, and then his gaze drops to his knees.

"I didn't know you were sleeping, either," he says eventually. "You- you don't usually. I should've checked, I know, I just figured- keeping the medbay on the route would make for easier access if someone did get injured."

Helix takes a sip of the tea.

It's not caf.

But it's-

Good.

"Sorry about that," Needle finishes lamely. His fingers twitch and flicker and jump before he stuffs his hands into the pockets of his scrubs.

Helix takes another sip- longer than he'd meant to, this time, and when he looks down he realizes he's nearly drained the cup.

His headache is easing.

"Longshot said that was the third round," he says at last. "How'd you two do on the others?"

Needle stares at him, uncomprehending, for one long moment-

Then a smile like the sun splits his face.

"Oh, knocked them out of orbit, boss."

"Good," Helix mutters. He stands, places the empty mug on the table, and stretches until he feels his back crack. "Right. I'm going to get some sleep, then. You got the shift?"

"Course I do," Needle says easily, and Helix squeezes his shoulder on his way out.

Stitch is sitting up when he emerges, ruffled hair and sleep-fogged eyes sending a pang through Helix's chest.

"Hey, kiddo," he says quietly. "Mind if I join you?"

Stitch squints at him. "Helix?" he says at last. "Needle said you needed to lie down."

"Oh, he did, did he?" Helix mutters, glancing back at the office door. He doesn't even bother to try mustering a glare.

"Uh-huh," Stitch hums, already slipping back into sleep. He curls onto his side and pats the empty space next to him. "Come on."

Helix kicks off his boots and obligingly settles under the blanket, and Stitch shuffles a bit closer and wraps an arm around his chest.

"Needle told me you two won," Helix murmurs.

"Yeah," Stitch says sleepily. A slow smile blooms across his face. "He can go pretty fast."

"Well," Helix sighs. "I guess that's okay, then."

As it turns out, sleep can come easily after all.

[spitblaze]

i dont think you need to be a genius to make up new words and expand the english language. im a certified dumbass, watch this: glimber. poobis. drungle. sneegle. I can do this all day

[dilfmobius]

fuck it, snippet sunday lmao

Loki winces as he shifts in his chair. They’ve been at this for whatever passes for hours at the TVA, and with every ticking second Loki can feel his bones grinding against each other, his joints and muscles aching with every breath he takes. He can almost feel the fractures splitting his skeleton apart. He flexes his hands on the table, stretches his fingers out and then clenches them into a tight fist. “You okay?” Mobius asks, warily, noticing the pinched look on the god’s face. He takes in Loki’s ragged breathing, and thinks he might actually fall over in his seat. Loki scoffs, instinctively crossing his arms over his chest, and fixes Mobius with a hard stare. Mobius matches him, not a direct challenge, but he is waiting for Loki to answer him. Loki rolls his eyes. “Not that it matters to you. I’ve been tortured, beaten, flung around by a giant green beast, and I landed right on my back when I teleported with the tesseract. Not to mention I’ve been under the mind stone's control. So no, Agent Mobius, I’m not okay!” Loki reels himself back, his words leaving him in a rush of air taking any physical strength he had with them. He squeezes his eyes shut, blocking out the pain. Mobius put his hands up defensively. “Alright, take a breath. Contrary to what you might believe, you’re safe here–“ Loki snorts, “–you are. You’re pretty much in the safest place for a variant here in the TVA. And you’re safe with me. No one can get to you without going through me first.” Loki doubts that, but Mobius saying he's safe with him stirs something in his chest.

i only have bits of this, nothing coherent, just little scenes that i hope to piece together somehow.

there's a whole section i've written with loki "moving in" with mobius that i'm also very proud of, where he's explaining his desire to not cause loki anymore physical pain (i literally wrote: He takes a deep breath before saying, “I have no desire to torture you, Loki.”)

i just wanna write some h/c man,,,

[midnight-mourning]

Promptober is done! What now?

Alright, now that all my spooky month writing is done, what's next?

Well, my plan is to go through and review everything, fixing any mistakes and such as I find them and then posting the promptobers on Ao3, so, should you ever want to re-read them you'll be able to find them with ease

Additionally, i did NOT forget about the CS oneshot, I'll make a post giving a little update later today so stay tuned there

I need to make some trick or treat responses, so taking a break from writing to pound those out

BUT, relating to writing, I'm working on revamping my writing links/making a writing masterpost since my intro has gotten clunky, while I'm doing so I figured I would ask if people would like to be apart of a tag list either for Confused Spirit or for general writing things, as that seemed to go really well for the promptober and halloween one-shot

IF that's the case, please feel free to interact with this post in some way, or message me directly and I'll collect @'s for such, please also feel free to share this around with anyone you think might be interested!

Going to go draw now but I'll be around, thanks for all the love and support throughout the promptobers and as we shifted into Spookvember!!! Genuinely it was great and very much appreciated, I'm glad everyone had as much fun as I did ^_^

If you would like updates on the remaining few things left for Spookvember you can check out the schedule here, it's updated semi-daily when I complete something or move things around

[arinrowan]

One thing the AI ‘writing’ discourse is showing is just how many people think all being an author entails is sitting in front of a computer and typing nonstop.

[satoruxx]

ok it’s 2 am and i think i finished part 3 of wolf!toji pls be proud of me <///3

[prolibytherium]

Somehow that ongoing 1,500,000+ word The Beatles Paul McCartney x John Lennon fanfiction I read includes like the most absolute minuscule details of the Beatles lore, like tiny little things where I was like "that can't be real" but I looked it up and it was (IE a guy claiming to be Jesus Christ barging in on one of their recording sessions). But it does NOT include the apparently real group masturbation sessions

[jinhyun]

written part of heart out coming later today ✨

[reineyday]

this akataka bonded dreams fic is getting pretty long for what im used to writing, and it's almost done, but it's not updating 😔 posting in the hopes that i'll find some energy somewhere lol

in this fic, mihawk is called the marine hunter bc he accidentally hunts down too many marines trying to let someone know he wants his bounty poster to say "dracule mihawk" and not "hawkeyes mihawk" haha

[applejongho]

1/176 rows done for guerrilla tapestry my eyes are about to pop out of my skull