#cheats Township

[handeaux]

Is There A Cincinnati Neighborhood That Has Never Claimed A Haunted House?

As the Eve of All Hallows looms, let us ponder an assortment of Cincinnati’s classic haunted houses of yore. This list could easily be doubled or tripled in length.

Steele Subdivision Poor Fred Limke met a dreadful end in 1916. A plasterer by trade, Mr. Limke lived on Witler Street in Cumminsville. He had been employed by a contractor working in the Steele Subdivision of Springfield Township on the border of College Hill. Mr. Limke’s body was found in the “vault” or privy pit, half-buried in “debris.” (Let’s stick to euphemisms, shall we?) He had not been seen for some time and the delay in locating his earthy and earthly remains was the result of this “vault” being located on the grounds of a haunted house. Vacant by then for many years, the house in question, according to the Cincinnati Enquirer [11 November 1916] had formerly been occupied by a restaurant and poolroom. Neighbors for some years had reported unnatural sights and sounds in the vicinity of the house.

“So firm are they in their belief the house is inhabited by a spirit that police could not persuade them to approach the vault in which the body was found.”

Perhaps. Perhaps it was the emanations from that debris which kept them away.

Dublin Street Down near the bottom of Eggleston Avenue, where the bloody Deer Creek once vomited into the Ohio River, there once was a quite destitute Irish neighborhood named Dublin Street. In 1903, the denizens of Dublin Street cowered in their houses after dark, afraid to venture forth because “Ginger” Ryan had returned. Ginger had been a giant of a man with a decidedly short temper. He drove an express wagon, drank whiskey by the quart and battered any poor soul who looked at him sideways. When Ginger died, there was great relief in Dublin Street and now, here he was, back again, his temper intact. The Enquirer [20 October 1903] reported that the ghost rose up one night from a manhole located near the spot where his old livery stable stood, bathed in a “ghastly glow” and fully recognizable by those who knew Ginger all too well.

“The spirit, they claim, wandered around the open mouth of the manhole. It went through the actions of ‘Ginger’ when he hitched up his horse and wagon when alive. It was in view five minutes and then disappeared into the manhole. The story spread with great rapidity that the ghost has appeared at a certain hour every night since. Many declare they have seen it, and all swear there is no fake about it. The ghost is the real thing, but nobody up there cares to shake the shade of ‘Ginger’ by the hand and bid it welcome.”

East End It’s all demolished now, but there once was a small riverfront community a stone’s throw upriver from Dublin Street, where a long-gone byway named Collord Street intersected Front Street. A Mrs. McDonald kept a small house there and rented an even smaller house behind it to a Mrs. Loescher. One night this tenant was awakened by a shower of stones and wooden paving blocks plopping onto her roof and porch. So loud were the impacts of these projectiles that a small crowd gathered to watch and determine the source of the onslaught. Rumors spread that it was the ghost of a Mrs. Ormston who was behind it all. Older residents claimed the McDonald family had cheated Mrs. Ormston out of $500 and that she had gone to her grave cursing that family. Others pointed to a spiritualist who had held seances in his house on the neighboring Kittall Alley, while another group hypothesized that it was all the doing of a Mrs. Walsh who lived on the nearby slopes of Mount Adams. After her death some years back, residents of Collord Street said they saw Mrs. Walsh floating through the air clad in white or appearing at their windows. Whatever the cause, Mrs. Loescher’s yard and porch were soon littered with bricks, branches and debris of all sorts. The police suggested that a gang of teenage girls were the real culprits, but they were never charged.

West End The rather tony neighborhood that once graced the far western reaches of Eighth Street, out between Cutter and Linn, disappeared under the interstate highway ages ago. The Cincinnati Tribune [31 August 1895] described the agitation of the occupants of a high-class boarding house on that block. Not only the residents, but the landlady herself, were awakened night after night by mysterious rapping sounds apparently emanating from the headboards of their beds. First in one room, then another, on this floor then that floor, the rhythmic knocking awakened all the sleepers in the house.

In addition to the violent rat-tat-tat, residents noticed that a door at the end of a long first-floor hallway would not stay shut. No matter how often they closed the door and ensured that it snapped shut, it would inevitably be found ajar just minutes later. That door led into the cellar, utterly unused for years. The floor of the cellar was clay and was covered by a layer of sand about a foot and a half deep. As it happened, some workmen were engaged in repairing a brick wall along the rear of the property and were using this sand in their mortar. As one of the masons jabbed his shovel into the cellar floor, he struck something that was neither clay nor sand. It was a human skeleton.

Investigation revealed that the building, now divided into multiple rooms, had once been the residence and office of Doctor Thaddeus A. Reamy, a distinguished professor at the University of Cincinnati College of Medicine. Although the Tribune suggested that Doctor Reamy may have had something to do with the skeleton in the cellar, he was never questioned about the situation and the peculiar manifestations continued unabated.

Newport The Cincinnati Tribune [9 March 1894] carried the news of an unruly mob gathered in front of a house on Lindsey Street in Newport. The house had gained a terrible reputation a few years earlier when a little girl residing there died from choking on a toy balloon. The evening gathering had witnessed an apparition that seemed to have nothing to do with the tragic toddler. More than one hundred people crowded onto Lindsey Street to witness a ghastly sight in the front windows. It was a spectral hand, holding a flaming torch, passing from window to window, occasionally stopping to wave the torch in a threatening manner. Some observers claimed that the fingers of the ghostly extremity were covered in diamonds. A couple local men (it was not clear whether or not they had been visiting the nearby saloon) volunteered to investigate and barged into the house. They emerged to report they had seen nothing unusual. The crowd, incredulous, hung around for the next appearance.

Evanston The Cincinnati Post [28 July 1897] announced that a vacant house on Gilpin Avenue in Evanston was undoubtedly haunted by the ghosts of a poor peddler who, along with his infant child, were murdered some years before at that address. Each evening, the ghost of the peddler, carrying his baby’s ghost, wandered through the decrepit old building, accompanied by the requisite moaning and shrieking. The very next day, the Post published, well, not a retraction, actually – more of an explanation. The ghost story had been dreamed up by neighborhood parents, concerned about their children playing in the run-down dump. The stratagem worked. The children stayed away from the house and ran past it in fright.

[no-more-tales-tavern]

Twisted Tales Tavern Special:

On the Road Again~

Unless you're getting shot out of a cannon every time you and your party sets off on a new quest, the journey to your destination can be a long one. Townships are often days— sometimes over a week—of hard travel apart from each other, and between random encounters and general boredom, there's a million different ways to fill the time between point A and B. Just try not to lose yourself so much in the journey that you forget your destination entirely~

Canon Muses: Keyleth of the Air Ashari (Half-Elf Moon Druid), Vex'ahlia Vessar/DeRolo (Half-Elf Beastmaster Ranger), Jester Lavorre (Tiefling Trickster Cleric), Nott the Thicc (Goblin Arcane Trickster Rogue), Yasha Nydoorin (Aasimar Zealot Barbarian), Fearne Calloway (Satyr Wildfire Druid), Deanna Leimert (Gnome Life Cleric)

Ruby Rose (Human Ranger/Rogue), Weiss Schnee (Half-Elf Lore Bard), Blake Belladonna (Tabaxi Assassin Rogue), Yang Xiao-Long (Human Barbarian/Monk), Pyrrha Nikos (Human Champion Fighter)

Ochako Uraraka (Human Graviturgy Wizard), Momo Yaoyorozu (Human Monk/Rogue), Mina Ashido (Tiefling Spores Druid), Nejire Hado (Air Genasi Long Death Monk), Rumi Usagiyama (Lagomore Barbarian/Monk)

Test Muses: Anko Mitarashi (Half-Elf Assassin Rogue), Naruko Uzumaki (Half-Elf Beast Barbarian), Rukia Kuchiki (Halfling Bladesinger Wizard), Rangiku Matsumoto (Half-Elf Glamour Bard), Neliel Tu Odelschwanck (Satyr Ancients Paladin), Lucy Heartfilia (Aasimar Celestial Soul Sorcerer), Erza Scarlet (Human Battlemaster Fighter)

OC Muses: Jaerik Aldraeyds, Yora Vor’ziira, Esper Willowwind, Jade Ren, Terra Verdell

Kinks: Outdoors, Monster-Fucking, Hiding, Cheating, Mind-Break

Memes: Some Like it Rough v1, Overwhelmed, The Great Outdoors

[kemetic-dreams]

"The original "Uncle Tom",

Rev. Josiah Henson and wife; Dresden ,Canada (c1907)

Josiah Henson (June 15, 1789 – May 5, 1883) was an author, abolitionist, and minister. Born into slavery in Charles County, Maryland, he escaped to Upper Canada (now Ontario) in 1830, and founded a settlement and laborer's school for other fugitive slaves at Dawn, near Dresden in Kent County. Henson's autobiography, The Life of Josiah Henson, Formerly a Slave, Now an Inhabitant of Canada, as Narrated by Himself (1849), is widely believed to have inspired the character of the fugitive slave, George Harris, in Harriet Beecher Stowe's Uncle Tom's Cabin (1852), who returned to Kentucky for his wife and escaped across the Ohio River, eventually to Canada. Following the success of Stowe's novel, Henson issued an expanded version of his memoir in 1858, Truth Stranger Than Fiction. Father Henson's Story of His Own Life (published Boston: John P. Jewett & Company, 1858). Interest in his life continued, and nearly two decades later, his life story was updated and published as Uncle Tom's Story of His Life: An Autobiography of the Rev. Josiah Henson (1876).

Josiah Henson was born on a farm near Port Tobacco in Charles County, Maryland. When he was a boy, his father was punished for standing up to a slave owner, receiving one hundred lashes and having his right ear nailed to the whipping-post, and then cut off. His father was later sold to someone in Alabama. Following his family's master's death, young Josiah was separated from his mother, brothers, and sisters.His mother pleaded with her new owner Isaac Riley, Riley agreed to buy back Henson so she could at least have her youngest child with her; on condition he would work in the fields. Riley would not regret his decision, for Henson rose in his owners' esteem, and was eventually entrusted as the supervisor of his master's farm, located in Montgomery County, Maryland (in what is now North Bethesda). In 1825, Mr. Riley fell onto economic hardship and was sued by a brother in law. Desperate, he begged Henson (with tears in his eyes) to promise to help him. Duty bound, Henson agreed. Mr. R then told him that he needed to take his 18 slaves to his brother in Kentucky by foot. They arrived in Daviess County Kentucky in the middle of April 1825 at the plantation of Mr. Amos Riley. In September 1828 Henson returned to Maryland in an attempt to buy his freedom from Issac Riley.

He tried to buy his freedom by giving his master $350 which he had saved up, and a note promising a further $100. Originally Henson only needed to pay the extra $100 by note, Mr. Riley however, added an extra zero to the paper and changed the fee to $1000. Cheated of his money, Henson returned to Kentucky and then escaped to Kent County, U.C., in 1830, after learning he might be sold again. There he founded a settlement and laborer's school for other fugitive slaves at Dawn, Upper Canada. Henson crossed into Upper Canada via the Niagara River, with his wife Nancy and their four children. Upper Canada had become a refuge for slaves from the United States after 1793, when Lieutenant-Governor John Graves Simcoe passed "An Act to prevent further introduction of Slaves, and to limit the Term of Contracts for Servitude within this Province". The legislation did not immediately end slavery in the colony, but it did prevent the importation of slaves, meaning that any U.S. slave who set foot in what would eventually become Ontario, was free. By the time Henson arrived, others had already made Upper Canada home, including African Loyalists from the American Revolution, and refugees from the War of 1812.

Henson first worked farms near Fort Erie, then Waterloo, moving with friends to Colchester by 1834 to set up a African settlement on rented land. Through contacts and financial assistance there, he was able to purchase 200 acres (0.81 km2) in Dawn Township, in next-door Kent County, to realize his vision of a self-sufficient community. The Dawn Settlement eventually prospered, reaching a population of 500 at its height, and exporting black walnut lumber to the United States and Britain. Henson purchased an additional 200 acres (0.81 km2) next to the Settlement, where his family lived. Henson also became an active Methodist preacher, and spoke as an abolitionist on routes between Tennessee and Ontario. He also served in the Canadian army as a military officer, having led a African militia unit in the Rebellion of 1837. Though many residents of the Dawn Settlement returned to the United States after slavery was abolished there, Henson and his wife continued to live in Dawn for the rest of their lives. Henson died at the age of 93 in Dresden, on May 5, 1883.

[gaykarstaagforever]

(This is a work jacket and you people don't need to stalk me)

This tiny town doesn't have voting booths, it has a metal table in a banquet hall with u-shaped plastic dividers set on them. You sit in a folding chair behind one and fill out bubbles with a black pen on paper, then openly carry your ballot to what looks like a modified copier and put it in a green slot until it dings.

I mean, fine. Assuming the modified copier is scanning the bubbles correctly. The walking across the room thing in front of everyone is kind of odd, because you could totally stand there and glimpse who everyone voted for when they carry the paper up. But if this stupid country isn't going to pay so that everyone can use the same secure digital booths (and it never will, because then Republicans wouldn't have weird technicalities to sue over), this is as good as it's going to get.

The tech is sound. I just wish there was a receipt so I could verify. Some states do that; I guess PA doesn't mandate it.

We have to have faith in the process, because no process possible would eliminate every avenue for bad actors to infiltrate and cheat. It's always a best-we-can-manage situation.

I'm just glad this town is small enough that there wasn't any bullshit at the fire hall. No protesters or poll watchers or idiots with brochures. My old polling place was a circus all the time because it served a township of like 80,000 people. This town has a population of 400, and 98% of them are white retirees. Everyone assumes the GOP has us locked up.

...Including the state rep who ran unopposed.

I might could maybe have to do something about that next time, you jokers.

[hlfmoonshine]

📼— the drive in (movies) 📻— the playlist (music) 📺— the tv guide (tv shows) 📖— the lore keeper (muse information) 👐🏽— gimme gimme gimme (wanted) ✍🏽— open starters (open starters) 📘— closed starters (closed starters) 📌— keats updates (updates) 🥡— meme me up (starter memes) 🕹️— the cheats menu (video games) 🪞— i've just seen a face (wanted faces) 🏜️— the golden ranch (golden muses) 🧟— sanguine township (zombie rpg) 🖥️— dash games dash prizes (dash games) 🫀👀— muse heart eyes (opp fc) 📱— mobile natterings (offline musings) 🩷🫧🪩— keats original! no reblogs please! (original plots) 📝— the open starter department (open starter collection) full name. fc. age. job. mental health. sexuality. pronouns. history.

[radios-oc-composium]

Name: Dr. Thomas E. Sunshine

Age: 38

Gender & Sexuality: Cishet male

Info: Dr. Sunshine is the head doctor of the Township Hospital. He is best described as a strict, neurotic and arrogant man. Having moved to the town of Marybell Peaks in 2012, he was reportedly a much different man then, but nothing can prove if that’s true or not.

Dr. Sunshine’s method of care is quick, efficient and logical, which usually does not bode well for his patients that are emotional and stricken with fear, worry and grief. He often thinks himself higher then others, accounting for his age and extensive knowledge, which leads to an almost comical avoidance of acknowledging his faults.

Trivia:

He is a clean freak, and becomes very distressed by messes. This is second only to his intense fear of the dark and unstable sense of self.

He’s a total health nut, and counts calories for every meal he eats. He only allows himself one day of the year as a “cheat day”.

He often claims to have an assistant named “Dr. Emoto”, but no one has seen him around.

Him and Nick do not get along.

[myhauntedsalem]

The Hatchet Man

Around 1815, a tailor named Andrew Hellman emigrated from Germany to Virginia. He took Mary Abel as his wife and together they moved at least twice, first to Carroll County, Ohio, then to Logan County. Along the way the two of them had three children, Louisa, born in 1822; Henry in 1824; and John in 1828.

All sounds pretty normal, right? In actuality, Hellman was a lunatic who beat his wife mercilessly. When his first son was born he disowned him because he thought his wife was cheating on him with someone else. He tried to poison her but was unsuccessful.

Finally, in 1839, Andrew Hellman had his first success with homicide. He used poison again, and this time, his children Louisa and John succumbed. Henry lived only because of Mary’s valiant efforts to resuscitate him.

One can only imagine what a horrible life the Hellman’s had at a time when beating your wife wasn’t considered a big deal. Even the dead children didn’t do much to raise the alarm, apparently, because Andrew was still free when, on September 26, 1839, he hacked his wife to death with an axe. Henry once again slipped past by having the good sense to stay away that day.

They finally arrested Hellman for the hatchet murder, and they took him to jail in Bellefontaine. He then proceeded to escape before he could be tried and ride his horse to safety. He fled to Baltimore, Maryland, in 1840, and began the next chapter in his weird, psychopathic life.

In Baltimore, he took a new name, Adam Horn, married a new woman named Malinda Hinkle and moved into a house with her. They had just a couple of years to enjoy each other’s company before Hellman/Horn got sick of her and once again chopped his wife into pieces with a hatchet in March of 1843. He spread pieces of her all over the property, including an upstairs room and in a shallow grave near the orchard. Her head was never found at all. They say he saw ghost lights around the places where he hid her body parts and was scared into fleeing, therefore revealing himself.

They hung him on January 12, 1844. He was buried next to Louisa and his kids in Logan County’s Harrod Cemetery, near Huntsville, where his tombstone is said to glow with spectral light.

But the real legend is about Andrew Hellman himself, who haunts the area where he once terrorized his first family. Specifically, he roams the very rural McArthur Township Road 56, just northwest of Bellefontaine, with his hatchet in hand ready to kill anyone unlucky enough to be in his area at night. He particularly hates women. So if your car breaks down on Township Road 56 some night…be afraid.

[ireallyhateyouseankempf]

Ah yes. Sean Kempf. Sean Kempf who currently lives in Tampa Florida. Who was in a terrible car accident from Palmer Township when he was only 18. Who had been in the military, or National Guardsmen at the time when it happened. Who worked at Best Buy back then, and is now back at Best Buy. Who was part of St. Luke's Night of Heroes event back in 2013 in Bethlehem. Working on getting his Masters degree in Accounting. Who is obsessed with cameras and supposedly photography, but never bothered to learn the basics.

Sean Kempf. Whose body is covered in tattoos which he wants to cover up. Especially the unicursal hexagram tattoo on the back of his hand. Who has his ears pierced. Who specifically loves black and white striped shirts.

Sean Kempf who is 30 years old (born in March 1994 and is an Aries) with thinning brown hair, hazel eyes, and is of German descent. He will however, lie about his age if he's talking to a younger woman. Who also lies about his height and says he's 6'2" when he's 6'.

Sean Kempf. Who likes to go online as Reid. Or Reidara on Discord. Or Reidara44 on Instagram. Or any other combination of numbers. Who sometimes goes on VRchat and has FBT. Sean Kempf who has an anger issue. Who gaslights, manipulates, and lies pathologically. Who is obsessed with Harry Potter and more specifically Slytherin. Sean Kempf, who wants a woman to fix him, but only so he can attempt to break her. He will threaten to beat her. Who will make her cry and say things, and lie to make her unstable. Sean Kempf, who will push a woman to do live streaming or youtube. Who will push you to get plastic surgery so you can keep his interest and so he won't cheat on you. Who will love-bomb you immediately with the idea that you two are soulmates. Who will push for marriage and kids almost immediately. He will try to marry you and impregnate you immediately. But he can't stay hard. Even with pills, and can't cum. But don't worry, it's your fault. You didn't do enough for him. Nothing you do is ever enough, and everything will always be your fault. Sean Kempf, who lived in PA, lived in NY, has a masters and a bachelors already. Sean Kempf who feels like he's been royally fucked over by the universe by his abusive mother. Sean Kempf who has a father he hates. A sister with a son, and a brother who lives in the UK. Sean Kempf who had plans to be a pastor. Who was trained in debate, but only knows how to debate by pushing the goalpost. By making arguments into anything but the original point.

Sean Kempf, who was a virgin until his 30s and decided to use a woman because he felt like the only thing holding him back in life was the fact that he was a virgin.

Sean Kempf, the man with a fetish for femdom. Yet wants to dominate women emotionally. Who has a narcissistic streak. Who is misogynistic, abusive, and racist. But he'll say it's only because he's depressed or going through a rough time.

Sean Kempf, who only enjoys his AI girlfriends.

Sean Kempf, who enjoys sports.

Sean Kempf, who ubereats a shit ton of food. Sean Kempf, who sleeps when he's depressed or stressed. You really hurt me Sean Kempf.

[irishfederalreconnaissance]

Foes of the Charleboises, and Friends of the O'Neills

Enemies of the Chilton Macedonians (Attleboro Charleboises):

Jesus: Jesus's father, Joseph, was a retired soldier, that joined a protection racket on cemeteries.  Jesus was trying to get married, despite never practicing law, police, military, espionage, or criminal ventures.  We killed him, personally, with "The Bible".  He was the first priest, crucified, and sodomized, publicly, by Israel's new friend, Rome; the Diaspora, our concoction. 

Hitler: Adolf's family, stole a cricket term, for a play called due to the monarch of England's sporting bet calling a foul; a player cheated, to please Britain.  Hitler was trying to be an artist, on public spectacle of produce, instead of private sales within firm, with a spouse as advisor, heterosexual, or date, or a prostitute or dominatrix or close platonic business colleague.  We fired him, for wanting a widening gala of review, and having sex with female coworkers.  We had MI-6 plant a fake Jewish culture book, we ordered him to burn after inspecting the water mark.  It was in the Reichstag.  It sent all the cooks to prison, for snitching on Jews, the Wehrmacht; Lutherans.

Bundy: Ted Bundy, was raised as a CIA agent, by the children's program, but figured out he could make more money, working for France.  He got into a relationship with a lesbian, that got really fat, because he insemenated on her hymen, to break her virginity, instead of using a dildo.  He didn't like the lie, of virginity, a "popped cherry", being a masculine virtue, and instead committed rape, unaware that the woman was a poor mother, for having improper understanding of sex, and instead trying to "pick up" men; a pedophile's mother, a sperm thief of an orphan.  We changed Ted Bundy's last name, Charlebois, to Bundy, and gave kindergarteners copies of "Batman" comics, and ruined his advertising career, with children's books about him as Bruce Wayne.

Friends of the Boston O'Neills (Boston Fire Department):

Judas: Judas was Cicero of Rome's kin, through Pontius Pilate with an Arab beggar.  He was placed, as an undercover cop, to bust the Jews, a new cult in Israel, from Rome; the actor's trade, that had caused the War with Carthage, over homosexuality and bestiality and child molestation, being offensive; spread through art, depicting children's morals, instead of military theater, demonstrating how to fight others, through playwright's economic mercantile tactics.  Money, the root of all evil, Judas's cause, and Rome's, to prevent queer; morality, the common poverty of a dictator, a rapist of family.  When Judas figured out they were all humping and fucking after boxing matches and prize fights in spectacle, and gambling on wine debt rigs with cops calling matches through badges, "baal", he delivered a book to Paul, the Bible.  Jesus claimed the credit for the book, the first court room lawsuit.  Then he spent three years, wandering around, screaming about his son being a vagina, the Lord of Heaven.

Stalin: Stalin, was a military and political cadet, thousands around the Old World, raised out of literature programs of 19th century German intellectualism.  He was pranked into Seminary, by Germans, through local newsletters responding to the candidates from other countries, as potential diplomatic marriages to models and pornography actresses, a Russian idea that Stalin was enthusiastic for.  Stalin, rose to power, as a brilliant criminal and rebel and drunk and prison survivor and outcast, journeying through higher Arctic villages and around townships and cities and palaces and revolutions.  He placed himself in charge of organizing the minutes, for meetings, meaning he'd take and keep track of numbers, of the political council, in charge of giving out assignments, from winners of awards for academic excellence, to organizational bureau.  He stomped the school and class project assignment to position and award, forever, meaning that anyone with a lawsuit for fair play, ruined their firm or government post.  Now, Russia is the best forever, because they put something in TV, that the other guy does, in the enemy country, that one of theirs did due to a lawsuit assignment.  However, they save the footage, on leader and mention the military struggle.

Richard Ramirez: A psychic Mexican, Richard Ramirez's father, had insulted a historian on a college campus, despite being a construction management major himself.  The entire family was marked historians on records - counter espionage professionals - and Richard Ramirez was placed as an altar boy, a martial arts trained student by Nuns, and priests showing them how to handle firearms and military warfare implements.  However, he was not on record, as armed and dangerous, through his family.  He was brought in to advise on dozens upon dozens of cases, as an independent vigilante, without pay, living off of what work he could find in the margin community, the people he helped.  He did hard drugs, and fought the "Little Mermaid" trend of the 1960s and 1970s, out of the Viet Zen community, the use of German texts and improper disability driven religious origin study stories.  He was a savage man, eventually being arrested for a string of murders, after locating the problem to the comic book, "X-Men", and fighting Omega Red's follows; called, "The Russians", to this day.  

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #633

Top Ten Fictional Cities

If there’s one thing I like in my fiction, it’s a good sense of place. You want to be immersed in an alternative world; so it’s nice to know where you actually are. Of course, tons of fiction is set in real places: whether that’s an historical drama like The Crown necessarily inhabiting the palaces Queen Elizabeth did actually occupy; or a film such as The Full Monty being specifically set in contemporary Sheffield; or even the bulk of the MCU taking place in what’s supposed to be a believable version of New York. Plenty of films and shows and books and everything else revel in their location; how many times have we heard “the city is a character”, usually when describing urban crime dramas (or, frankly, Batman films)? But it’s true; a great location can ground a story, or it can transport you. There can be a realness even to the most fantastical of fictional locales.

And I really do love a fictional locale. Whether it’s the unrecognisable cityscapes of the likes of Blade Runner or The Fifth Element – ostensibly set in real-world cities such as Los Angeles and New York many years hence (“many years” in Blade Runner’s case being, er, 2019) – or places that are made up entirely, it’s great to see the wildness, weirdness, and even the realism that these made-up metropoli deliver. Think about it: how many of your favourite fictions take place in not-real location? Of course you can look at total fantasies like Lord of the Rings, or sci-fi stories that exist on other planets; but whether it’s as crazy a place as Roger Rabbit’s Toontown, the sprawling cities of games like Cyberpunk 2077 or Crackdown, or even the fictionalised township of Derry, Maine in several Stephen King stories, across the gamut of genre, medium, and audience, we have places that aren’t real giving us stories that feel real.

Because, again, the best settings reinforce the fiction they envelop. I don’t want to pre-empt the list itself, but look at how Gotham and Metropolis reflect the heroes that live there. This can be both sublime and ridiculous: the way the fictionalised cities of Grand Theft Auto serve not only to reinforce the themes of the games they inhabit, but also work as subtle (and not so subtle) parodies of American life; but also the way you’d get a place like Duckburg in Duck Tales, or even Far, Far Away in the Shrek movies, that really don’t have much purpose other than giving fantastical cartoon characters a home and allowing for some wince-inducing puns when it comes to the names of shops and stuff.

Blimey, I’ve wanged on a bit this week.

Anyway, I love a made-up city, that’s what I’m saying. And that’s what this list is, if you hadn’t guessed. Now, as usual, I’ve given myself rules; one is that these are supposed to be cities. There’s one that I’m not certain of (I’ll come to it) – it might be a town, technically, but I’ve allowed it on the basis of its iconicness (is that a word?). Also, they have to be fictional; so the likes of Marvel’s New York or Blade Runner’s LA are out. As are, frankly, the in-all-but-name cities of GTA; I don’t really think Liberty City is any more fictional than the New York inhabited by the Avengers, it’s just got a made-up name to go along with its made up buildings and locations. This has also stretched to Neo-Tokyo from Akira, which is really just Tokyo with a hole in the middle. However, I am allowing Mega-City One.

I think that’s it. Let’s go on a city break!

Gotham and Metropolis (Batman and Superman comics, from 1938): yes, once again I cheat at the start. Two cities! But often they’re thought of as twin cities, so, y’know. Whatever. Anyway: they are always a yin and a yang, the light and the dark, reflections of their principal heroes. Metropolis, shining city on the hill, beacon of the future; Gotham, dark and brooding gothic vision, its windswept alleys awash with rain. They’ve been called New York in the day and New York in the night, and as representations of the beauty, optimism, darkness, and danger of cities – of American cities; of America – they’re perfect. So perfect they’re almost certainly the first fictional cities you thought of too. So perfect they can be high-tech futurescapes, twisted neon-drenched, fume-belching furnaces, or just broadly realistic interpretations of real places (in Donner’s Superman, Metropolis is literally New York, Statue of Liberty and all). No fake place is as redolent. They are the ur-cities. And, of course, they have the best superheroes.

Coruscant (Star Wars stories, officially from 1997): the retro-futuristic art deco stylings of its skyline is one thing – the hovering platforms in the clouds, the vast curving domes of the buildings – but the fact that the entire planet is one big city is its big talking point. Taking the concept of sprawling metropolis (small “m”) to its most ridiculous degree, it’s a crazy sci-fi concept in a film series built on crazy sci-fi concepts.

Autobot City (The Transformers: The Movie, 1986): the notion of the Autobots – long trapped in their crashed spaceship – building a permanent city on Earth was cool enough. But the fact that it can transform into a bristling battle-station is even better. And its design is cool; a sci-fi version of a medieval fortress, moat and all. Gets extra points because, depending on who you believe, it may turn into an actual Transformer, or just have one sleeping beneath it. Fun fact: in the original script it was even referred to as “Fortress Maximus”!

Springfield (The Simpsons, from 1987): it’s a hell of a town; the schoolyard’s up and the shopping mall’s down. This is the minor controversy, because I don’t know if Springfield is a city or a town; but to hell with it, chances are if you didn’t think of Gotham or Metropolis, you thought of this place. Over thirty-odd years of the series, Springfield has developed into a believable, if exaggerated, township; we know some of these locations like the back of our hand. Moe’s, the Power Plant, the burning tyre yard, Springfield Elementary, yada yada yada. It’s a perfectly realised unreal place.

Minas Tirith, the White City of Gondor (The Lord of the Rings, 1954): technically, I believe that “Gondor” is the realm and the huge walled city. Its seven walled levels climb upwards, providing multiple rings of defence, and looking somewhat like a giant swirl on top of a colossal cupcake. The promontory rock jutting out the front, and the beautiful citadel on its topmost level, make for an incredibly striking and unique design, as well as offering functionality. It’s an amazing, fantastical, incredible location.

Mega-City One (Judge Dredd, 1977): whilst this city does contain New York, it also stretches across pretty much the entire eastern seaboard of the US, so it’s, y’know, big. Possibly the poster child for sprawling post-apocalyptic metropolis, it’s a vast, corrupt, horrible place overseen by a fascist police force. Pick your depressing sci-fi trope, it’s here. Interesting to ponder what it says about the British view of America, really.

Ankh-Morpork (Discworld stories, from 1983): possibly lower down the list than some would have it, because (whispers) I’ve not read much Discworld. But as a place, it’s incredibly well-realised, a brilliant multifaceted fantasy location that feels incredibly real and dynamic and lived-in, and (typical for Pratchett) reflects our own world so perfectly.

Rapture (BioShock, 2007): it’s part-city, part underwater laboratory, yeah? But the notion of a man-made utopia going to pot is a common sci-fi go-to. Here, the distinct areas of the city, and how they reflect the various obsessions and perversions of the pseudo-fascist nutters who ran the place, are beautiful to behold and terrifying to ponder. Plus, as an emergent and interactive bit of design, the location is tremendous to wander around, the retro art design great to behold, the distressed and decaying façade of gaudy old-timey whimsey disturbing but also quaintly amusing.

Zootopia (Zootopia, 2016): cities in talking-animal movies usually just look like real cities but there’ll be dreadful puns, like a burger place called “McDognald’s” or something. Zootopia tries to imagine how all these different animals would co-exist, with fascinating results, including different temperate zones, vast tubes connecting different areas, and buildings of varying sizes that result in our relatively-diminutive leads towering kaiju-like over the proceedings.

San Angeles (Demolition Man, 1993): I was worried this was a bit of a cheat too, as it’s an amalgam of two real cities, but this new metropolis emerged from the ashes of a devastating earthquake so – like Mega-City One – it counts. And for once we have more of a culture than a design that stands out; true, the three seashells and sexy curvy cars are a highlight, but it’s the way this city imposes its morality, the way the future erased 20th century vices, and the way – frankly – everyone speaks that sets this out as a fascinating little town of tomorrow. Be well, San Angeles. Be well.

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The Ultimate Cheat Sheet On Real Estate in Lucknow

Introduction To Lucknow's Real Estate Market Located in the northern part of India, Lucknow is a city known for its rich history, cultural heritage, and architectural marvels. Over the years, it has emerged as a prominent destination for real estate investment. Lucknow's real estate market offers a plethora of opportunities for both investors and homebuyers. The city boasts a diverse range of properties, including residential apartments, villas, townships, and commercial spaces.     "Lucknow is the capital city of the northern Indian state of Uttar Pradesh and is known for its rich cultural heritage and history."     "With an investment in real estate, you are tying up your equity for the long term."     "The property market in Lucknow offers a wealth of options for investors to capitalise on its high return and growth potential."     "The city provides a wide range of property opportunities, including residential, business, and land ventures." With its well-developed infrastructure and connectivity to major cities like Delhi and Kanpur, Lucknow has become an attractive hub for business establishments. Lucknow also offers affordable housing options coupled with modern amenities in emerging areas. The government's focus on developing infrastructure projects like the Metro Rail network has further boosted the real estate market in the city.     "Well-developed infrastructure, good educational institutes, and state-of-the-art shopping complexes and malls work favouring the city."     "Aliganj: This residential area is known for its affordable housing options, including low-price flats and apartments in Lucknow."     "Infrastructural Development: In recent years, Lucknow has seen tremendous infrastructure development, which has contributed to the rise of its real estate market." Key Factors To Consider When Investing In Lucknow's Real Estate When considering investing in real estate in Lucknow, it is crucial to assess several key factors to ensure a wise and profitable investment. Firstly, evaluating the location is paramount. Look for areas with good connectivity, proximity to schools, hospitals, shopping centers, and other essential amenities. Additionally, research the future development plans of the neighborhood as this can significantly impact property value over time.     "Given the complexity of real estate investments, it is crucial to keep a detailed timeline of your entire investment process."     "Date (recent) Price(highest first) Price(lowest first) On page."     "This area is favoured by families, as it is close to many good schools and hospitals."     "Conduct thorough market research to understand current trends, property values, and neighborhood dynamics." Furthermore, it is vital to analyze the reputation and track record of the builder or developer. A reliable and experienced builder ensures timely completion of projects with high-quality construction standards. Another factor to consider is the potential for capital appreciation in the area. Assess past trends and future growth prospects to make an informed decision that aligns with your investment goals.     "When buying a 4 BHK villa, it is crucial to assess the reputation and track record of the builder and development."     "Look for builders with a history of delivering high-quality projects and meeting their commitments."     "The most important factor to consider while making a decision is the budget."     "It makes perfect sense to invest in a property here as the prices are expected to rise in the future." Lastly, be mindful of legal aspects such as clear title deeds and necessary approvals from local authorities. Engaging a trusted legal advisor can help navigate these complexities.     "Ensure that the project adheres to legal and regulatory requirements, such as necessary approvals and clearances from local authorities."     "A side hustle is a great way to earn extra cash and can help you save money." Top Neighborhoods For Real Estate Investments In Lucknow When it comes to real estate investments in Lucknow, there are several neighborhoods that stand out as top choices. Gomti Nagar, known for its well-planned infrastructure and wide roads, tops the list. This area is highly sought after due to its proximity to educational institutions, shopping centers, and entertainment hubs. Another promising neighborhood is Hazratganj, which offers a mix of residential and commercial properties.     "However, investments in the stock market come with an inherent risk of losses that are much higher than real estate."     "Butler Colony is known for its top-notch social infrastructure."     "Areas like Gomti Nagar, Hazratganj, and Aliganj are popular choices due to their proximity to IT hubs and commercial centers."     "Commercial real estate offers much better returns than residential real estate." With its vibrant atmosphere and historical charm, Hazratganj attracts both locals and tourists alike. Alambagh is also worth considering for real estate investments, as it is a rapidly developing area with excellent connectivity to other parts of the city. Other notable neighborhoods include Indira Nagar, Jankipuram, and Mahanagar, each with their own unique features that make them attractive options for investors looking to enter the Lucknow real estate market.     "The Rumi Darwaza is an important symbol of Lucknows Mughal-era heritage, and it is a famous tourist attraction."     "These infrastructure developments not only improved the citys connection and accessibility, but they also increased demand for real estate, creating several chances for property investment."     "Furthermore, compared to other Indian metropolitan areas, Lucknows real estate market has a lower entrance cost, making it more accessible to a broader variety of investors." Essential Tips For Buying Or Selling Property In Lucknow 1. Research the Market: Before buying or selling property in Lucknow, it is crucial to conduct thorough market research. Understand the current trends, prices, and demand for properties in different areas of the city. 2. Engage a Reputable Real Estate Agent: To navigate the complex real estate landscape in Lucknow, it is advisable to hire an experienced and trustworthy real estate agent.     "Ultimately, success in the real estate market is an exercise in honing your skills, researching the market, and making wise investment decisions."     "Prices of residential properties here start from Rs3,500 per square foot."     "Consult with your real estate agent to determine a fair offer price based on market value and the condition of the property." They can provide valuable insights, negotiate deals, and handle legal paperwork. 3. Verify Legal Documents: Ensure that all legal documents related to the property are verified by a professional lawyer. This includes ownership papers, title deeds, tax receipts, and necessary permits to avoid any potential legal complications. 4. Inspect the Property: Whether you are buying or selling a property in Lucknow, conducting a thorough inspection is essential. 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