#cheating dazai x reader

[chuunai]

may i request scenario (12) cheating on you with prompt 7 "only if you knew how much i liked you." drabble pls, with dazai, fyodor, and chuuya? those characters were the only ones that popped into my mind lmao . . .

yes ma’am the angst is gonna go crazy and this is gonna be without Fyodor because so many others asked for him TvT

✧˚ · . whose heart could I break today? - BSD men when they cheat on you

He loved you. But he couldn’t help it.

summary ⋆ ★ angst, cheating, minor NSFW, crying men (chuuya)

Dazai Osamu:

It was just a mission at first. You two were sent to infiltrate a party and intercept a parcel. Easy, right? That’s what you both thought at first. His lips gave yours a short kiss before walking into the building separately. No one should be able to link the two of you together, after all.

Of course soon after entering Dazai was already being pawed at by rich women cooing at him for just a second of his time. A small bit of desire had risen in his lower abdomen, but when he saw you across the room, he urged himself not to be misled. He was a scoundrel, but he wasn’t a cheater. So why was it that barely half an hour later he found himself locked in a room with some woman he hardly knew, hushing her with his fingers while he pounded into her?

A woman that wasn’t you. When he came back out, clothes slightly disheveled and skin glistening with sweat, you knew. Oh, how that dread hit you like a train. How you wished you really were hit by a train in that moment when he looked at you and knew that you knew. You felt so fucking dumb. So stupid to believe his words that he was loyal to you and you only.

There you were, a broken heart and the realization that your partner cheated on you. Your now ex-boyfriend.

When you left the party—the mission completely forgotten by the both of you—he soon followed after, fingers outstretched to grasp your shoulder, lips aching to say how sorry he was and that he just couldn’t resist her. But he held back. Let you walk away as he stood there in the rain, a sad smile on his face.

Yet another one lost. All because of him. Dazai Osamu couldn’t ever keep anything, could he?

Chuuya Nakahara:

Alcohol. The one thing that he resented now.

The thing that made him lose you. Dimmed his moral compass and loyalty to you. Chuuya’s always been such a loyal person. Hell, he was a puppy when it came to you. Or at least used to be. But he fucked it up. Became too tipsy one night at a bar when you weren’t there because you were at your job. Chuuya took another woman to your home, to your shared bed.

While you worked, he fucked.

Chuuya felt so guilty when the high wore off and the girl went home. When you got home, he immediately told you and begged for forgiveness, getting on his knees even and sobbing that he didn’t want you to leave. Fat tears rolling down his cheeks as he drunkenly rambled about how you were everything to him.

You left the next morning.

He took the day off—the whole event hitting him coupled with his hangover—and let the memories wash over him. Countless kisses stolen, nights in bed spent gossiping and binging Netflix. Not to mention the more tender ones. You going with him to the Flags’ graves on the anniversary of their deaths. Reassuring him that he was human when he swore he wasn’t. Why didn’t he realize how much you two were meant for one another?

Nakahara Chuuya once had a soulmate.

Now, he lacked one.

A.N: I think you can tell I put in more effort for Chuuya. don’t complain.

Tags: @twst-om-lover, @sinfulthoughtsposts

[cixteenyne]

“100 follower event!”

“Request anyone, I mean anyone, if I don’t know them? I’ll research them and their personalities and try my best to get their character as close to canon as possible, if I do know them? Great! It’s gonna be much better quality!” (As long as it’s in the fandoms I know)

This event is officially Closed! {dec 30 - Jan 31}

Fandoms I know:

My hero academia

Bungou stray dogs

Obey me

Detroit become human

Promised never land

Genshin impact

Chainsaw man

Spy x Family

Wednesday

Fnaf

Naruto

Hunter X Hunter

Your lie in April

Silent voice

Violet evergarden

The Music Freaks

Mandela Catalogue

Saiki K

Jujitsu Kaisen

Death note

My life pretending to be worthless

Avatar (I need to rewatch the movies…)

Demon slayer

Yandere simulator

Tokyo ghouls

Tokyo revengers (sorta)

Miss kobayashi dragon maid

Toilet Bound Hanako Kun

Assassination classroom

Classroom of the elite

Kakegurui

Future diary

Seven deadly sins

Diabolik lovers

Attack on Titan

Haikyuu

Euphoria

Helluva boss

Hazbin Hotel

Ouran Host Club

One punch man

Sk8 the infinity

Darling in the Franxx

100 followers reached! have fun requesting!!! (event Closed)

[osachiyo]

❏ SEETHING ENVY !

﹙ ✿ ﹚── includes : dazai, chuuya, kunikida, ranpo, fyodor & nikolai x fem! reader

﹙ ✿ ﹚── content warnings : nsfw content, jealousy, threats of cheating, toxic relationship in nikolai's, pussy slapping, choking, scratching, name calling, degradation, msub in Dazai’s, yandere reader in Nikolai's, edging, toys, oral (m & f receiving), brief mention of murder and torture but it's very vague, throat fucking etc

﹙ ✿ ﹚── synopsis : jealousy jealousy

﹙ ✿ ﹚── author's note : I know the sneak peak of this post had a different title but I think this one suits it way more. Happy reading! Requests are open btw! ♡

﹙ ✿ ﹚── MINORS DNI

DAZAI ⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆  

Dazai loves to see all of your reactions. He finds them so amusing. Your eyes shining bright like stars when you're happy, when you're practically jumping with excitement, your cheeks heating up when you're flustered, your pretty eyes narrowing and brows furrowing when you're angry or upset, your eyes glossing over as they threaten to overspill the tears when you're sad...He loves to see them all. So that's why he comes up with the idea to make you jealous. I mean, what could go wrong?

You watch your lover’s eyes roll back from overstimulation, his cock swollen and angry from being used so many times. But you didn’t care, just like he didn’t care about how pissed you’d be while flirting with that waitress from the cafe. God, was it infuriating. But it’s alright, you would never miss a chance to mark your man up nicely, your nails clawing on his back while he hissed from the sting. But he didn’t complain, he actually enjoyed the pain of you marking your ownership over him.

“You fucking manwhore, how many times did you cum?” You scoffed, your hips not slowing down. You slapped his cheek gently when he didn’t answer, the soft flesh damp with sweat and your slick. He opened his eyes, looking up at you riding the soul out of him, your soft tits bouncing with every slam, your plump ass meeting his hips while he massaged the soft fat. “Fuck- uh.. four?—“ he wheezed when your hands wrapped around his throat even tighter, making it hard for him to breathe. “Wrong answer… let’s keep going until you get it right- Haah— okay?” He could only throw his head back in response, shooting blanks into your puffy cunt.

He had a long night ahead of him.

CHUUYA ⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆  

Chuuya was a very confident man. He was confident in himself and your relationship. But that stupid fuck Dazai—

“Hey~ Belladonna, are you here alone?” Dazai smirked, taking your hand in his larger one before gently kissing your palm. “You look like you could use some company, no?” He was about to kiss your knuckles but suddenly— “She’s fine.” Your hand gets snatched away by your boyfriend, Chuuya. Dazai shows a face of disgust before sighing in disappointment. “Yeah okay, whatever. If you need some better company, don’t be shy to ask Chuuya for my number, pretty gi—!” A punch was thrown at his face.

“Stupid fucking suicidal piece of shit..” Chuuya mumbled, head squashed between your thighs which were decorated with bruises. Shades of purple and blue staining your pretty skin as he sucked on it, dangerously close to your core. His hand smoothed out the fabric of your expensive dress. When you agreed to go to a bar with your fiancé, you didn’t expect to be eaten out by him in one of the fancy bathroom stalls. Your hands were struggling to find something to stabilize yourself. “Chuuya..what if someone— mm..what if someone comes in..?” He only groaned in response, finally taking you into his warm mouth while his hands played with the soft fat of your ass. “Let them.” He muttered into your pussy, the vibrations of his gruff voice made your toes curl as your hand came down to find itself tangled in his copper locks. As if the universe had heard you, someone walks in. You put your other hand over your mouth, trying your best to silence any noises that could slip out. Then suddenly— the unknown man spoke and you recognized that voice easily. It was Dazai.

Chuuya only pulled away and smirked, before diving in with ten times more effort. He had to prove to Dazai that only he could pleasure you like this and you were his.

KUNIKIDA ⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆  

Kunikida, bless this man's heart, was the best husband you could ask for. He had it all, looks, stable income, intelligence and he was sweet. You loved how nice he was to you, always making sure you're comfortable and happy. He was the ideal man of your dreams. But as much as you loved him being sweet and kind to you...you wanted something more. You wanted to get on his nerves, wanted to be manhandled by him. So what better way to do that than to make him jealous?

"Stay fucking still." Your husband growled, frantically unbuckling his belt while he held you down with one hand. Once he finally got the belt off, he tied it around your wrists, the expensive leather burning against your soft skin. "You wanna act like a brat? You're gonna get fucked like one." He spit, flipping you over so you laid on your stomach. "Count." That was the last thing you heard until— 'smack!' His calloused hand came down harshly on your ass, making you jolt from the impact. "O-one!" You hissed, your grip tightening on his silk sheets. There was a long pause before the next hit, which was absolutely brutal. The pain shoots through your entire body like electricity while all you can do is writhe and bawl your eyes out, " two- fuuck- 'm sorry! Please! Kuni—" He only scoffed, his fingers dip into your soaked folds and he raises an eyebrow, "You act like you hate it, but your cunt is practically gushing." He tsks, spreading your lips and this time landing a hit on your puffy 'n swollen clit. "Clearly you haven't learnt your lesson if you're still leaking like a desperate whore."

RANPO ⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆  

Ranpo's and your's relationship was interesting, to say the least. You two always bickered playfully, sometimes even pranking each other. One time he even put some neon pink dye in your shampoo. But besides that, you wanted revenge. And what better way to get revenge than flirting with his own rival?

You could almost taste your sweet orgasm coming, ready to push you towards the edge but then— Ranpo turns the vibrator off with a laugh, clearly satisfied to see your misery. "How's that, sweetheart?" He smirked, wiping your tears off with his thumbs. You could only babble in response, too fucked out to think any coherent thought but the need to cum.

Ranpo smiles mischeviously, pushing your thighs apart to make room for himself. He licked his lips at the sight of your drooling pussy. A finger pressed the vibrator against your clit and your head tipped back on the pillow. "Thank you for the meal~" He sung before diving head first into your cunt, the vibrator working it's magic against your clit.

FYODOR ⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆  

Why were you doing this again? Oh yeah, because that stupid Kolya told you to. You were just hoping and praying to the heavens above that you wouldn't be dead after this. It's a stupid idea but the prize was well worth the pain. All you had to do is flirt with Nikolai and Sigma for one whole day. Surely he wouldn't...mind that much, would he?

Wrong, is what you thought to yourself while you processed the entire situation. You were tied with deep purple ribbons, restricting you against the headboard of the bed. A ring gag in your pretty mouth, a collar around your throat and lastly, a blindfold over your beautiful eyes. You could only hear his footsteps, circling around you like he's the predator and you're his prey.

"So, Milaya, what were you thinking pressing your tits against Sigma like a slut?" His footsteps stopped, it was eerily quiet in the room after Fyodor had stopped speaking. "I did not know that I chose a stupid slut off the streets who will seduce anyone as my wife," he tsked. You felt the bed dip and creak, then a large bony hand was splayed across your bare thigh. "You are one lucky woman that I am not abandoning you. Clearly you don't know who your master, who your God is." He plunged two fingers in your mouth, watching you gag and sputter around them. His other hand was now wrapped around your delicate throat, giving it an experimental squeeze. He thrusted his fingers in and out of your mouth while choking you. You suddenly felt the smooth material of his slacks grinding against your bare cunt, soaking the fabric with your sweet slick.

If only you could see the almost maniacal smile he wore while doing so.

NIKOLAI ⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆  

Fucked up, that's what your relationship with Nikolai was. But you didn't care. You loved him and he loved you. All you thought about was him and only him, never even speaking to another man unless you had to. But did he do the same? No he didn't. He'd purposefully flirt and let other women cling onto him like a damn leech, not because he enjoys their attention, no, he did it to rile you up. Watching as you threaten the women viciously, your tone dangerously low as you speak to them. It gets the adrenaline rushing through his veins when you brutally torture and murder these women who he had approached first.

Your face was stained with blood and Nikolai's precum as he tapped the head of his heavy cock against your cheek, montioning for you to open up. You obeyed like the good little girlfriend you were, tongue hanging out and all as you accepted his throbbing cock into your warm mouth, gagging slightly as it hit the back of your throat. He shuddered, grinning down at you, his gloved hand holding your hair up in a makeshift ponytail while you tried your best not to let your eyes roll back. It wasn't even all the way in yet. "Oh just look at you~ struggling to take my cock, dove? Should I get a new bitch, then? I bet she could take my cock f—" His breath hitched and hips stuttered when you suddenly look him all the way down to the base, throat contracting around him. "There we go... I knew you had it in you, pretty thing." Tears were flowing down your cheeks at this point, it fucking hurt. Nikolai let go of your hair and gripped the back of your head instead, slowly pulling you off of his cock until only the tip was inside then slamming back in with full force.

You definitely needed some medicine after.

©sachiyoh— do not copy, plagiarize and repost my works to any platform, likes and reblogs are very appreciated♡

[angelsrcute]

𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 —

DAY 1: Leona x Fox!Reader; Jealousy sex + Scent kink.

DAY 2: Sub!Yukito x Criminal!Reader; Riding.

DAY 3: Sub!Barbatos x m!reader; Hatesex + Orgasm denial.

DAY 4: Boss!Char x Serious assistant!Reader; public sex.

DAY 5: Sub!Camboy!Cater; Feminization + Degradation.

DAY 6: Gojo + Geto; Threesome.

DAY 7: Malleus; Drunk sex.

DAY 8: Assassin!Toji; Sensory deprivation.

DAY 9: Blade; Femdom + Whip + Brat Taming.

DAY 10: Priest!Sunday; dub-con + Dacryphilia.

DAY 11: Sub!Idia; Cockwarming.

DAY 12: Aventurine; Strip poker + blindfold.

DAY 13: EnemyBoss!Gojo; Office sex + Humiliation.

DAY 14: Sub!Wolf!Jing yuan x M!bunny!Reader; Role reversal.

DAY 15: Capitano; Size difference + Lingerie.

DAY 16: Scara; Titfucking.

DAY 17: Zhongli; Somnophilia.

DAY 18: Sub!Angel!Dr. ratio x Demon!Reader; Corruption + Overstimulation.

DAY 19: Sub!Kinich; Tentacles + Monsterfucking.

DAY 20: Satan x Cat!Reader; Breeding kink + heat.

DAY 21: Pantalone x Slave!Reader; Power imbalance.

DAY 22: Painter!Chuuya x Muse!Reader; Against a wall.

DAY 23: Kaeya; Thigh riding + Dirty talk.

DAY 24: Diavolo; Almost getting caught.

DAY 25: Sub!Ranpo; Food play + Praise kink.

DAY 26: Geto; Cheating.

DAY 27: Ghostface!Nikolai; Dark themes.

DAY 28: Asmo; Pet play.

DAY 29: Beast!Dazai; Blackmail + knife play.

DAY 30: Lucifer; Body worship.

DAY 31: Vamp!Sylus x Succubus!Reader; Bondage + Spanking.

[kentopedia]

i miss when we first met

FEATURING. dazai osamu x f!reader & f!reader x chuuya nakahara — wc: 15.1k

SUMMARY: you'd always been in love with Dazai, but you started to doubt that he'd ever cared for you in return. chuuya, though, had never shown you anything but true affection.

CONTENTS: nsfw 18+ ONLY, pm!dazai, pm!reader, mostly dazai x reader but…, unhealthy relationship dynamics, voyeurism, cheating, manipulation, smut, degradation, guns, angst, dazai is very bad at expressing emotions, pet names, horrible communication, unrequited (?) love, the list goes on bc they’re in the port mafia just be warned

note: this took me like 4 months to finish & i am so so nervous to post it lmao. i wanted to write something different & this is very outside my comfort zone! :) but it's dazai's birthday so i figured i might as well share it today

You rolled onto your side away from Dazai, still breathing heavily as you came down from your high.

Beside you, he had shifted onto his forearms, moving up against the headboards to sit up straight. The covers fell off of him, revealing the marks that you’d left all over his body, the scars from a life lived in the mafia.

Under the red silk sheets, you were silent, your head settling into the pillow as you stared at him.

He’d deny it, but he was beautiful, a tempting, alluring creature that you couldn’t get enough of.

But you also knew Lucifer had once been God’s most beautiful angel, and it only made sense that Dazai Osamu would hold the same kind of exquisiteness.

Dazai closed his eyes, rolled his neck as he leaned back, stretching out all of the stiff muscles. He didn’t touch you again, kept a distance as he wiped the sweat that had dried on his forehead, the fluids that had stained the sheets between you.

He used to talk to you, after something so intimate. Used to hold you in his arms and trace your skin with a gentleness you didn’t know he possessed. He hadn’t always been cruel when he fucked you, hadn’t always put his own needs before yours.

Of course, Dazai had never loved you. That was something you were certain of in your very core. But he’d held at least some shred of respect for you before becoming the head of the Port Mafia. Now, you didn’t think he saw you as anything more than a means to an end.

It didn’t matter, though. It didn’t matter that Dazai spoke to you minimally when you two weren’t alone, that everyone in the Port Mafia knew you were nothing more than the woman who slept in his bed.

It didn’t matter because you loved him. You’d stood by his side since the beginning, since he’d recruited Chuuya, since he’d lost Oda.

Since he’d killed Mori.

You’d been with him through all of it, seen every horrid side to him, and you’d never once wanted to escape. Dazai had his claws in you, and he had them in deep. The thought of being anywhere but with him had never crossed your mind.

“Akutagawa told me what happened yesterday.”

You blinked, snapping out of your haze as Dazai regarded you with cool, condescending eyes. He was peering at you from over his shoulder, picking his dark button-up off the floor. The skin on his back was red from scratches, the lines dragging through his taut skin.

“Did he?” you said, looking down at your nails. You hadn’t expected anything less. Akutagawa did everything in his power to get exaltation from Dazai. “I’m sure his report was thorough.”

Dazai’s jaw clenched. His eyes narrowed, a darkened tint flashing in them. “That’s all you have to say?”

His voice was unamused, icy, and it reminded you that no matter how many times you crawled into his bed, let him use you however he wanted, he was still your boss. He was Dazai Osamu, the man whom everyone in Yokohama feared.

You swallowed. “I’m sorry.” Your gaze twisted away from him, unable to meet his hardened expression completely. “I was distracted. It was my fault entirely.”

Dazai made a noise in the back of his throat as he moved out of the bed. He sauntered across the room, so quietly and cat-like, and you buried yourself deeper into the mattress, wanting to sink into it completely.

“You’re lucky, then, that Akutagawa was able to deflect the bullets.” He began replacing the bandages that had slipped off of his face, covering his cheek with disgust.

He let you see him completely when it was just the two of you. It took every ounce of your self-control not to read into that, to wonder if it was just a habit leftover from when you were younger.

“I am lucky.”

Truthfully, you’d only hesitated for half of a second, momentarily lost in your own loop of suffering, and your opponent had gotten an edge on you. They’d shot at you, then the bomb, nearly prematurely blowing up the building.

“After decades of work, I would’ve thought you’d know better by now.” Dazai sighed wearily, like your presence irritated him. It probably did. “I’ll consider moving you. I’m sure there’s a place for you where you can’t get yourself killed if you fuck up.”

“Dazai—” you swallowed, a horrid tasting stinging your mouth as you remembered your time with him had come to an end. He was back to being Mori’s underling, the man who looked at the city like it was nothing but a chessboard. “Boss,” you remedied quickly, all too used to addressing him differently. It was difficult, sometimes, to recognize where Dazai began, and the Port Mafia’s boss ended. “It was a stupid error. In all the time you’ve known me, have I ever done something like that before?”

Dazai hesitated momentarily, before tensing his shoulders. He didn’t answer your question. “Don’t let it happen again.” A warning was in his eyes when they met yours through the mirror. “I don’t have the patience to find a replacement for you, and Akutagawa’s too valuable an asset to lose to a seasoned professional’s careless mistake.”

You exhaled, looking back down at your hands. The ones that had already been stained in so much blood, wrought with crime and bad intent. “Understood.”

You finally climbed out of the bed, missing the warmth that it gave you, even though Dazai’s cold body always sucked it away. He laid so stiffly next to you most of the time. You remembered when he used to sleep with his forehead pressed to the back of your neck.

As you dressed, Dazai kept his eyes on his work, never paying you any attention. You felt discarded, useless, and you wanted to hate him, wanted to hate yourself for longing to wrap your arms around him, hug him from behind.

“I’ll send you with Chuuya tomorrow,” he said, scanning reports and assignments that he’d thrown aside lazily last night. “An easy assignment outside of Yokohama. Think you can manage that?”

“Just give me the job.” You snatched the paper out of Dazai’s hand, and he didn’t say a word, only watched as you perused it. It was, really, the simplest task he’d given you in the past few weeks. You’d felt like he’d been overworking you just to avoid you. “Fine. I’ll take it.”

Dazai’s smile widened, sinister, and wicked. He brushed his hand delicately over your shoulder, against your neck before patting you on the head. “I trust you won’t let me down.”

Going against every sensible atom in your being, you smiled wearily. His minimal display of affection warmed you, a deep pang settling in your soul. “Have I ever?”

“No.” He held a sort of awed fascination, twisting a part of your hair between his fingers. “How lucky someone must be to be my greatest enemy. To get the kiss of death from an angel is not such a bad way to die.”

He held your cheek in his delicate fingers, and you were putty in his hands, wishing that his eyes would soften, even by a fraction. That his hand would cup around his cheek like he meant it.

Instead, he pulled away, and you felt cold, cold, cold, drowning in your own emptiness.

You scoffed, trying to regain some power in the situation. “I’m no angel.”

“Hm,” Dazai hummed, dropping his head in his hands, resuming a spot behind the desk, the deep red chair much too similar to the one in his office, the one that Mori had inherited from the previous boss. “Perhaps not to others.”

And you grew hot, feeling that, maybe, Dazai was giving you a compliment.

It was at times like these that you saw the semblance of your previous relationship. When you could tease him without feeling the weight of his superior rank looming over you. When you could kiss him without tasting venom. When you didn’t have to wonder if it would be appropriate to touch him, or if you should keep your distance.

You wanted to quit him. Really, you did.

He was a horrible, loathsome person.

You’d never be able to stop loving him.

“I could never be any sort of heavenly creature, Dazai. My spot in hell was sealed the moment I sided with the Devil.”

Dazai laughed, the sound raw and dry, so humorless. “I hope you don’t mean me. Flattery will get you nowhere,” he tsked, the tip of his tongue scratching against the back of his white teeth.  

You certainly hadn’t meant that as a compliment.

“Should I say goodbye before I leave?” you asked wryly, doubting that he’d even want to see you again. His image burned against the back of your eyelids, and you drank him in, hoping that when you died, his face would be the last thing you saw.

Dazai didn’t grace you with a simple yes or no. Instead, he glanced up briefly, his one eye exposed, mere centimeters of skin uncovered. “Goodbye.”

You nodded; lips pressed tightly together as you accepted the dismissal. With a sigh, you were out of the room, wondering why you hadn’t just showered before you left. Most of your clothes were in Dazai’s closet anyway.

You didn’t see him again before you left.

The assignment Dazai had given you was a few cities over, a task of infiltrating an enemy organization who’d gotten a little too close to the Mafia’s boundaries. It was simple enough, especially with Chuuya at your side, though the whole ordeal had you away from home for a weekend, and far too much time with your own thoughts.

Dazai had set the two of you up in a suite, one with two separate bedrooms and a shared living space. It was much more luxurious than you even needed, with a view overlooking the entire city and an extensive bar in the kitchen. The furniture was a deep, black leather, every accent dark in color.

It was conspicuous, but you’d grown too used to extravagance after being with Dazai. You allowed yourself to indulge in it.

A silly notion, really; the place you slept every night was much more lavish.

You scrubbed the blood off your face, your hands, and stared at yourself in the mirror without recognizing the person before you. The water at the bottom of the shower was a macabre shade, staining the tiles as it swirled down the drain.

Shivering, you tried to reconcile all of the things you’d done, shelve them away before you could wonder if all of it was really worth it. If Dazai was really worth it.

When you finally emerged from the bathroom, your skin rubbed raw, Chuuya was sitting at the bar, a freshly cracked bottle of wine before him. His back was tense, muscles strained as he regarded you with weary eyes, the darker shade under them obvious and alarming.

“Took you long enough,” Chuuya snorted, pouring himself a glass. The bottle was aged and dark, the label faded. He must have brought it along with him; it certainly hadn’t come from the hotel. “I was getting bored.”

You made a face, taking the seat beside him. “Well, there was a lot of blood.” You reached over to snatch the bottle, pressing it to your lips before he could protest.

“Help yourself, then,” His expression was sour, but his acerbic tone held a hint of amusement. “Do you know how expensive that is?”

“No.” You shrugged, taking a sip. Money had stopped meaning anything to you a long time ago. “Should I care?” The liquid warmed your throat on the way down.

“Probably not. You’ve surely got enough cash behind you to buy me another one.”

“Right.” You snorted and wondered how much of that stuff you’d have to drink before you’d stop feeling a thing. Thoughts of the crumbling bond that you and Dazai shared wouldn’t leave you alone. “And you don’t?”

Chuuya laughed, twirling the glass in his gloved hand. There was a hardened edge to him that you didn’t like. Opposed to Dazai, Chuuya had always been much more open with you, more willing to share his thoughts. “Well, we can’t all be Dazai’s favorite. You’ve got the keys to the kingdom, my dear. Whatever belongs to the Mafia belongs to you too.”

“Favorite?” You spat out the word, darkening at the mention of Dazai, the man who never seemed to leave your brain. It was always Dazai, Dazai, Dazai. The youngest executive there had ever been, the one who’d become the head of the Port Mafia just a few years later.

You hated him. Wished you could burn the memory of that haunted man entirely.

“Hm?” Chuuya leaned forward like he hadn’t heard you.

A bitter flavor blossomed on your tongue when you thought of saying his name out loud. “I don’t want to talk about Dazai right now.”

You brought the bottle to your lips again; it was starting to feel lighter.

“Why?” Chuuya’s eyes dimmed as he stared at you, looking for something hidden in your irises. A secret that wouldn’t be there. You’d always been too easy to read. “Did something happen?”

“I said I don’t want to talk about Dazai, and you immediately think something’s wrong?”

He blinked. Hesitated. “Well, I spent my teenage years listening to you talk about him like a lovesick fool. The subsequent years watching him stare at you in the same way.” He took the bottle away from you, tipping his head back. “Something must be wrong.”

You felt a flush at your neck, the skin itching with sweat. It was cruel of Chuuya to allude to any emotions from Dazai, when you knew they weren’t there. “That’s not true.”

Chuuya sighed. “Isn’t it?”

Although his temper had always been much worse than yours, you felt the same sort of anger claw at your back. The urge to scream at him became almost insuppressible. “Dazai doesn’t care about me like that.” You flopped down on the bar, alcohol fuzzing the edges of your senses. It felt nice, warm.

Maybe being away from the Port Mafia was better for you than you thought.

“Don’t be stupid.” Chuuya’s eyes had narrowed when your head fell forward, his fist clenching around the bottle.

“Stupid?” You immediately sat up, blood rushing straight to your head. Who was Chuuya to come and tell you everything he thought he knew? It was laughable, really. “He doesn’t care, and I think I’d know. Fuck you, Chuuya.”

You slammed your fist down on the table, hurt. You didn’t understand why Chuuya would side with Dazai when he knew how much the situation troubled you. How often had you bared your soul to him, told him how Dazai’s aloofness had hurt you over and over again?

His eyes softened, an apology immediately leaving his lips. “I’m sorry—”

“Are you?” The words were vehement. Chuuya was shamelessly against your relationship with Dazai, always coming up with one reason or another to get you out of it. Now, it seemed, he was trying to defend it. “Dazai cares or he doesn’t. You can’t keep changing your mind based on the situation.”

“Dazai does care.” Chuuya said the words like they pained him to leave his mouth, each one dragging a dagger against his chin. “You think he’d keep you around if he didn’t?”

You did. You knew that you had use outside of Dazai’s feelings, just like Chuuya, just like Akutagawa. Just like every menial grunt who had a shred of value for the Mafia.

“He cares that I have value to him.” A sigh left your lips, and you sunk your chin onto your palm, feeling like nothing more than the dramatic woman in a Shakesperian tragedy. Really, you couldn’t remember when you’d become so pathetic. “What will become of me when I can’t sink a bullet into the skull of his enemies anymore?”

Chuuya frowned, the wrinkles deepening on his forehead. “No one can predict what Dazai will do.” He let you steal his half-full glass of wine, keeping the bottle safely tucked away from you. “Would it make much difference to you if we could?”

“I suppose not.” You’d grown tired, the subtle buzz of alcohol coming in quick on your empty stomach. “Nothing matters much anymore. I’ll never leave the Port Mafia.” Saying the words out loud made it more real than you’d intended, even though it was a fact that had sunk deep into your bones the day you’d met the dark-haired, suicidal bastard. “Why do I have to love him, Chuuya? Why can’t I love a good man?”

You thought, why can’t I love you instead, and left it unsaid. The words might have been too cruel. You knew the pain of unrequited emotions.

“Because you’re in the Port Mafia. Good men would know to stay away.” Chuuya drummed his fingers against the countertop before reaching out, contemplative. Though you remained unmoving in your seat, his hand still retracted before he touched you, as if burned. There was caution in his movements, every action calculated—Chuuya was usually the opposite, as intelligent as he was. “Besides. You’ve never tried to let Dazai go. You don’t want to.”

“I want to,” you said defensively, though even to your own ears, the statement was weak. Dazai was an addiction, and you’d go back to him time and time again. Even when, sometimes, you weren’t so sure there was anything good about him. “I just don’t know how. What would I do out there in the world without Dazai?” You laughed, amused. A normal life didn’t seem possible—you’d have no idea where to start.

Chuuya’s face pinched in disgust. “Take over the Port Mafia. Kill him and run it yourself.” He huffed, running a hand over his eyes, exhausted. “There’s a solution. If you really want to get rid of him.”

You blinked back at him. A moment passed; you’d forgotten he was looking for a response.

“I suspected as much.” His shoulders slumped, defeated, as you drew back in shame. “How long will you talk yourself into this endless cycle of torment? Dazai isn’t the same man that you fell in love with, and he never will be again.” He met your eyes, cold and guarded. “There’s nothing to be done about that. If you want Dazai so badly, put up with every single part of him. I’m tired of listening to the same grievances, time and time again.” 

Chuuya made to stand, but you stopped him, grabbing his wrist lightly. He glared at you from over his shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” you said, trying to convey your apology sincerely. “You’re completely right. I’ve never tried to let Dazai go, and maybe I can.”

You didn’t give Chuuya time to formulate a response. Before he could understand what was happening, you leaned forward, catching him off guard, and planted your lips on his.

For one singular moment, Chuuya had kissed you back, tasting your mouth in its entirety, before he shoved you away, scrubbing his skin like he’d been burned.

“Don’t do that.” He had a hand in your face, scolding you like a child. “Don’t ever fucking do that again.”

You stared at him; his dark eyes were full of an emotion you had never seen before. “Why not? You said I should try to let him go.”

“Not by kissing me, fucking hell.” Chuuya hissed, his voice just above a whisper like someone else was listening in. Something vile had been unleashed in him as he gesticulated around wildly. “You’re Dazai’s.” He scoffed. “Do you think any smart man would do anything with you, knowing you sleep in that monster’s bed every night?”

You sniffed, sticking your jaw out. Maybe, you’d been wrong all this time. Chuuya was like everyone else, wasn’t he? Holding you at a distance because you cared for the wrong person.

“I’m not leaving the Mafia. I’m not leaving Dazai.” You reached across the table, grabbing one of his cold hands. “I just want to be someone else for once. To know what it’s like for someone to care about me so completely.”

“It’s not going to be with me.” Chuuya yanked his hand away, laughing mirthlessly. “I never thought you’d try to manipulate me like this. “You’ve been spending too much time with him.”

Your eyes flashed, infuriated. Chuuya looked at you with some kind of betrayal, like he wasn’t the exact same way, like he wasn’t the same kind of vile person that you were. “I know you’re in love with me, Chuuya. I know you’ve looked at me since we were sixteen years old, wished so badly I would look at you the same way.”

His jaw clenched, the anger giving way to something else. “Don’t start.”

“You’ve wanted me all this time, haven’t you?” It was a genuine question; one you’d always been too scared to voice. Chuuya was the only person you considered to be a friend and knowing that he felt that way about you would ruin your friendship completely.

Though you had one sip too much of alcohol running through your veins, and you’d spent two days wondering how you could stop feeling a single thing for Dazai. Rationality had left you entirely.

Chuuya was silent, still watching you with hesitance.

“You’re the only person in the Mafia who really cares about me, aren’t you?” you said, softer, wondering if you could lure him in. Spring him into a trap you’d both be certain to regret in the morning. “You’re the one who talks to me about everything, who watches out for my well-being. Who’s never looked at me like I was anything but the prettiest girl in the world.”

And though Chuuya still didn’t trust your actions, his eyes had softened just a hair, his body releasing the tension. “You are.”

You smiled, but his compliment made you feel nothing but guilt. “Then why won’t you let me kiss you, Chuuya?”

“Because.” He scraped a hand over his face, breathing heavily like it was taking every ounce of his willpower to resist you “Dazai will kill me, you understand? He’ll kill you.”

“Wouldn’t you at least like to know?” You invaded his personal space. Each word you spoke cracked him a little bit more. “I know you’ve imagined me spread out before you, entirely exposed to you. How I’d look with my hips arching off the bed, crying out your name—”

“Stop it.”

“I’m right, aren’t I?” You felt like you were losing your mind. Something had cracked in you, and you couldn’t come back from it. Things would never go back to the way they were after those careless words had been tossed into the world. “You’ve always wanted me, so why, when I’m giving myself to you completely, won’t you accept?”

Chuuya swallowed. His voice had grown thick with desire. He raked his eyes over you cautiously. “You’re asking a lot from me, baby.” He held your cheek, grazing the bone in the gentle way that Dazai had forgotten. “Believe me, I want to. But you’ve had a lot to drink.”

“I haven’t,” you said, grabbing his wrist before he could pull away. The touch of another person felt so nice against your icy skin. “I’m okay. I’m not drunk.” You weren’t—the alcohol had just made you brave enough to ask. “Please, Chuuya.”

He swallowed thickly. “He’ll kill me.”

“And he’ll kill me. Just as you said.” You met his eyes completely, wondering why you couldn’t care for this man in the same way, why his lips weren’t as alluring as Dazai’s, why his voice didn’t set a blaze deep in your stomach. “Do you really care whether Dazai thinks of me as his?”

His cheeks were flushed, eyebrows pinched, and you spotted the moment he began to draw back. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I just can’t.”

Then, you panicked, eyes becoming glassy as he released you, turning to retreat back to his bedroom, and you scrambled for another way, a way to bring him back to you.

“Chuuya, please,” you said, desperation in every syllable, and when he turned around, you knew you had him wrapped around your finger. “I just want to know what it’s like with a person who loves me. Can’t you give me that?”

That was it. That was all you had to say. When Chuuya bowed his head, you knew he’d given in.

“Why do you think I can give you what he can’t?” Chuuya’s voice was nothing more than a whisper. “I’m not that kind of man. I’m not the kind of man you’re looking for.”

“No,” you said. “You’re not that kind of man. You’re Chuuya. The only person that’s always been there for me.”

He hesitated, momentarily, before sweeping you into his arms, his touch the softest you’d ever felt. “Are you certain that you want this?”

“Yes.”

“Then it doesn’t matter if Dazai kills me.” Chuuya spoke into your mouth, carving the words into your aching heart. “You were always going to be the death of me, anyway.”

His lips were upon you again, kissing you with the hunger of a starved man, and you gave him back as much as you could, which was the despair of a lonely woman. His touch was one of loving hands as guided you back into the bedroom tenderly.

When your back hit the bed, he asked if you were okay, asked if everything was comfortable. The concern in his eyes had rarely been seen in Dazai’s own—you couldn’t remember the last time he’d taken care of you first.

“I’m fine, Chuuya,” you promised again and again, and you smiled, caressing the soft skin of his jaw.

His lips pulled back in return, and then your shirt was thrown over your head, carelessly tossed towards the corner of the room. Though, no matter how many articles of clothing you lost, the necklace that Dazai had given you still rested against your collarbone.

You cupped your palm around it, trying to avert Chuuya’s gaze as he stared down at the precious metal, something conflicting in his cool irises.

“It’s okay,” you said, doing your best to distract him. You wouldn’t take the necklace off. It didn’t matter how much Dazai had hurt you; you needed the reminder of the absolute infidelity you were committing. “Keep going.”

Feeling more anxious than you had before, you kissed Chuuya, trying to dispel the bile that gathered in the back of your throat.

“You’re so beautiful,” Chuuya said, kissing every inch of your face, his hands hovering over your chest. “I could look at you forever, and it wouldn’t be long enough.”

Chuuya’s sentiments warmed you, but words weren’t enough. You pulled his vest off, then the buttoned-shirt and every other intricate article of clothing he wore.

It felt wrong. His height was wrong. His skin felt too warm under your palm.

“When did you fall in love with me?” you asked, breathing heavily. Desire pooled in your abdomen against your will, your own heart betraying you. Still, it was nothing more than the most basic reaction of human nature, raw and primal, unaffected by the organ that was jailed within your ribcage.

Chuuya was surprised by the question, and he paused, his face just inches above your stomach. “I think I realized when I was seventeen.” He huffed out a laugh, inhaling your perfume. “It was the first time I saw Dazai kiss you. I thought I was going to be sick.” He continued kissing down your body, sliding your pants past your hips. “I’d always wanted you. I guess I just didn’t realize until then.”

You exhaled, feeling tears spring to the corners of your eyes, ones you suppressed.

Dazai had given you flowers that day. You remembered how they smelled, the rainy spring breeze. The way the sun reflected in his brown irises, melting them into candied honey that brightened his entire complexion.

“Then take me, Chuuya. If you’ve wanted me for so long, then fuck me like you mean it.”

His dark eyes flashed, but his gentle caresses never turned rough, never sped through a single moment you had together. You smiled, your expression peaceful and open when he finally slid your panties off, your cunt throbbing as his finger brushed against your swollen clit.

Chuuya took his time with you, singing praises that you hadn’t heard in a long time, and you came once around his slender fingers, the ones that were much less skilled at knowing every place you enjoyed being touched.

When he finally sunk inside you, you still felt empty, unfulfilled. You tried to lose yourself in his mouth, in the taste of wine and Chuuya, and dug your fingers into his back.

“Feel so good around me, baby.” Chuuya whispered into your skin, imprinting the words into your neck. He was careful not to leave any marks, though he wanted to, wanted to claim you as his own. “Taking me so well.”

You tugged on his hair as he kissed down your collarbone, between your breasts, his breath hot and heavy. Though you cried out, you kept your voice quiet, still fearful that someone might hear, might know exactly what kind of betrayal you’d committed.

Chuuya thrust into you slowly, so much gentler than Dazai, hitting the spot deep inside of you that had you arching off the bed. “Fuck,” he said, choking on his own breath. “You have no idea how you make me feel.” He was full of desperation, his hands digging into your hips.

“Chuuya,” you said, holding his head between your palms.

He gave you the brightest smile in return, sad and meaningful. “I know. I can feel you squeezing me tighter. Let go for me, doll.”

His hair was just as soft, but it wasn’t dark enough, wasn’t short enough. His kiss didn’t feel the same, and you felt tears blurring your vision as you realized you’d never wanted him, you only wanted Dazai, and this was all wrong.

Still, you came around him, as he was buried deep inside you, but his name never left your lips, not even as a breathy whisper, because the one that was sitting there was Osamu.

And when he pulled out of you, you stroked him with practiced laziness, moving your hands in the way you knew Dazai liked, even though Chuuya felt so much different in your palm.

Chuuya kissed you as warmth flooded into your hand, and then he was breathing heavily, collapsing onto the bed next to you. He kissed you over and over, holding you tight, and you smiled, satisfied, because at the least, you knew this was what love felt like.

You’d never get it from the man you wanted, so you’d take it from Chuuya, even if it made you feel rotten inside.

The room smelled like sex and betrayal, and Chuuya took care of you, carried you out of the bed for a bath, and gently rinsed away the sweat and grime.

You were silent for most of the time, only reassuring him when he asked if you were alright.

For the first time, maybe you were. You imagined a future where you could learn to love Chuuya, a future where you were finally able to rid yourself of Dazai and start over again.

But it was nothing more than a delusion, a dream that would never happen. Dazai was a part of your soul. You knew that and Chuuya knew that, even as he closed his eyes next to you, the woman that would never give her love to anyone else. Your heart beat and bled for Dazai Osamu, every inch of your being meant for him. It would kill you to let him go, and if he died, you’d die right alongside him.

You turned away from Chuuya, burying your face in your hands, completely unaware that he’d left the bed to sleep in the other room.

You didn’t talk to Chuuya the next morning, not when you took a private car back to Yokohama, not when you stepped foot back onto the Mafia headquarters. Things between you had soured, just as you’d suspected, and you didn’t know how to fix it, didn’t think there was any way to go back from what had happened.

Higuchi was waiting for the two of you when you walked in the door, her blazer perfectly pressed, and her shirt tucked. She greeted you with a half-smile—gesturing towards the stairs. “The boss wants to see all of us for a meeting. He said you two would be arriving at this time.”

You nodded, and Chuuya scoffed, shaking his head. “I’ll never understand his superhuman ability to know what’s happening all of the time.”

Swallowing, you followed Higuchi, trying not to hear the foreboding nature of Chuuya’s statement.

Most high-ranking Mafia members were in attendance, with Dazai at the head of the table, the dark wooden chair beside him eerily empty and welcoming. You took a seat, and Dazai’s eyes ran over you, smoothly and hastily, before a small smile appeared on his features. “No injuries?” he said, and though his tone was professional, you could hear the slightest bit of concern.

“None,” you said, and something in your voice cracked, ever so slightly.

You were such a fool. You’d never be able to hide something like this from Dazai.

He eyed you suspiciously, before sliding his glance over to Chuuya, who was as cool as usual. His face was shadowed by his hat, hiding any evidence of a sleepless night.

“Chuuya,” Dazai said, tucking his palm into his hand. “Debrief.”

Your partner gave Dazai every last detail, summarizing as best he could, and sliding in the occasional sarcastic remark as he leaned back casually in the chair. Dazai listened with boredom in his expression, drumming his fingers against the table until Chuuya’s monologue was complete.

He turned to Akutagawa, who bowed his head an immediately launched into his own assignment.

You blinked—you hadn’t realized that Akutagawa’s squad had been sent elsewhere. It made no sense for Dazai to send you with Chuuya when your own division had a separate mission.

The meeting wrapped up quickly, and the members scattered, going their own separate ways for the afternoon. Chuuya refused to meet your eye as he got up from the table, one of the last to leave the room.

As you stood, Dazai closed a hand around your wrist, his thumb brushing your pulse.

“Was the hotel alright?” he asked, his head titled curiously. “You look tired.”

You took a sharp breath.

Fuck.

“It was fine, Osamu,” you said, and when his name slipped easily from your tongue, something in him changed. He loosened the hand on your wrist before releasing it entirely, the bandaged palm falling into his lap. “Thank you.”

Dazai nodded, turning away from you, and you’d forgotten that there were still other people in the room. Akutagawa, who lingered with morbid curiosity, and his sister, who had always sort of pitied you for your tumultuous relationship, bore witness to the brief interaction.

Behind them, Chuuya stood tense, his back straight as he crossed the threshold, sparing you only a glimpse before exiting into the darkened hallway.  

“Alright,” Dazai said in a hushed voice, his face schooled back into the usual, guarded expression. “I’ll see you later.”

It wasn’t much of a response, and he didn’t elaborate, keeping his steely eyes ahead as some low-ranking members trudged in for a meeting with their boss. He’d be busy all afternoon, it seemed.

You swallowed, and left, knowing that it was fruitless to try and keep a secret from him.

Chuuya waited for you outside, his arms crossed as he regarded you with a contempt that hadn’t been there before, such a contrast to the loving man you had seen last night. “This changes everything, you know?”

“I know,” you said, your voice thick with unshed tears. “I’m sorry, Chuuya.”

“Don’t be sorry,” he scoffed. “I was the fool. I made my choice.” Chuuya sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face. “I meant what I said, though. Yesterday. It was all true, and if you need anything, I’ll be here.”

You felt a chasm open in your chest, and you wished the floor would’ve swallowed you whole. You were losing everyone, it seemed, and maybe, Dazai really did have a point with his talk about suicide.

When you stepped into the bedroom, Dazai was sitting on the edge of the bed, the setting sun casting a shadow of his own reflection. He was twirling a pistol around his pointed finger, staring at the wall with blank eyes.

You shut the door quietly, your hands shaking against the golden knob.

Though you hadn’t made a sound when you walked through the door, Dazai’s gaze was on you immediately, sensing your entrance.

You’d never been able to slip past him.

“You’re back early.” Those were the first words that came to your mind, your voice breaking the uncomfortable silence. He was regarding you with disdain, his jaw set coolly. His hair turned bronze in the evening rays, loose strands scraping against the bandages.

“I am.” His jaw clenched, examining you with a singular, dark eye. You felt exposed under his gaze, laid bare for him to see no matter how much you shrouded yourself with. “You sound like you’re unhappy to see me.”

Dazai ran his finger along the trigger like he’d never held such a weapon before, the gun becoming an object of morbid fascination. 

You exhaled. There was so much space between you, a distance you weren’t sure you’d ever cross again. Though you thought you knew Dazai better than anyone, in that moment, he was unreadable—a chapter of pages that had been torn out.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” you said, standing tall. Despite your nerves, you were fixated on Dazai, always drawn to him like a moth to a flame, desperate to uncover the very thing that could kill you. “I miss you every time we’re apart. You’re no stranger to my feelings.”

You could offer him that, at the very least. An undeniable truth before everything between you shattered.

Dazai stood, his dark coat billowing out behind him as he finally came to face you, suddenly seeming much taller than you remembered. And with one look, you knew that he knew. He’d always been too smart for his own good.

“I’m not certain of that any longer,” he laughed, though it was a bitter sound that clawed its way up his throat. “Why don’t you tell me the truth, instead.” Dazai stood before you with a smile that was so sweet it was almost sinister. “Aren’t you going to tell me what you did?”

You weren’t sure which one of you would blink first, caught in some deadly staring contest. Most people would’ve surrendered to him by now.

 “Why?” you jutted your chin out, refusing to give in to him in any way. If you were going to die, and you were, you would make sure Dazai knew everything you’d never told him. “You already know.”

“No.” He poked the gun into your cheek, right beneath the sharp bone. He’d clicked the safety off moments before. “I want to hear you say it. You betrayed me.”

When you refused to say a word, Dazai hissed and cocked the gun. He pressed it to your temple, the metal cold against your delicate skin.

“Say it.”

You sniffed. He wasn’t giving in, and instead, stood there silently, unmoving until you finally caved. There was something about the color of his eyes. No matter how much they hardened, you still remembered the young man he used to be. The one who wasn’t quite so cold, who picked you flowers, even with blood dripping down his arm.

“Fine.” You narrowed your eyes. “I fucked Chuuya.”

Dazai blinked. Then, he started laughing. Crazily, maniacally. You saw too much of your old boss in him that it made you sick.

“Shameless.” Dazai took a step back and dropped the gun to his side.

“What?” you sneered, pressing yourself up against him, refusing to be intimidated by the man that had been yours for years. “Should I be ashamed?”

Dazai’s eyes flashed, his jaw clenching. “Yes,” he said, fists curling at his sides. “After everything I’ve done for you.” Dazai grew quieter, flicking a strand of hair out of your face. “Do you feel no remorse?”

“You can’t be serious. What have you done for me, Dazai?” You grew still, grabbing his wrist before he could touch you again. “You’re not upset I was with another man; you’re just upset that it was Chuuya.”

You poked him in the chest, a hot stream of air exhaling through your nose.

“I gave you everything, didn’t I?” The two of you spoke at each other, avoiding the answers, never acknowledging what the other had to say. Around and around you went, an endless circle until one of you finally conceded. “I’ve given you the world, and you still wanted more.” Dazai finally broke free of your loose grasp, stroking your cheek. “What can Chuuya give you that I can’t? I ask for nothing but honesty.”

There was no jealousy in the tone, no sorrow; it was the most genuine question he’d asked you in months. The inquiry of a man who’d lost sight of himself in the past few years, and who’d somehow, over time, forgotten what it meant to care for another.

“You gave me nothing,” you said, but somewhere along the way, your cheeks had grown wet. You’d been struck by the sudden affection in his voice, the softness harsher than a slap to the face.

He was a horrible man, the worst kind of man. Yet, you couldn’t imagine a life without him, a world where you existed alone.

The truth rested at the edge of your tongue. It wouldn’t solve much, your affection for him never had solved much, but at least he would understand.

“This was never about wanting more. I never wanted Chuuya. You’re a fool if you think that.”

Dazai was silent. You pressed on.

“I wanted you. I’ve only ever wanted you. I’ve devoted my entire life to you. I do everything you ask.” You were breathing heavily, big gulping breaths that contained minimal oxygen. “I asked for nothing in return. Nothing but for you to care about me, and you never did.”

“Is that the case?” Dazai laughed humorlessly.

You ignored him, your confession leaving on one heavy breath, a string of words incomprehensible to your ears. “But Chuuya loves me. He always has, and he made certain I knew that.” You paused, averting your eyes. The entire city could be seen from the window over his shoulder. “He told me all of that, and you know what I thought the whole time?”

Dazai scowled.

“I wished that he was you instead. I wanted it to be you so badly, I wanted it to be you saying those things to me, kissing me like I was the most important thing in the world.” You took his wrist again, pressing the gun back to your temple. The cool metal was almost soothing against your skin. “Please, Dazai. Give me this one last thing. I’m begging you to kill me. I can’t take this any longer.”

His finger rested on the trigger.

“I want it to be you. I’ve never wanted to die at anyone’s hands but your own.” His hand felt just as it always had in your palm, his fingers much longer, but his skin so soft. It was almost comforting, how familiar he was, and you longed to be a part of him, to bury yourself deep within him and wear his skin as your own.

Dazai’s expression twitched, and you smiled at him, the taste of salty tears spilling into your mouth.

As you closed your eyes, you prepared for the noise, hoping your blood splattered on Dazai’s coat and stained it, the proof of your existence inerasable. You hoped that Dazai would grow to regret it, would realize that your love for him was close to unconditional.

But the violence never came. The cool metal fell away from your skin, and when you opened your eyes again, Dazai’s shoulders had slumped, the very image of defeat.

“Do you honestly think I can bring myself to kill you?”

“What’s the matter?” you asked, blinking your eyes open. You reached for the gun again, but he drew back, as if stung. “Afraid to lose your best assassin?”

“No.” Dazai’s eyes were hard, his frown set deep into his face. “I’m afraid to lose the woman I love. The most important person in the world to me.”

You stared. Blinked. Then, the worst kind of emotion washed over you.

You swallowed over and over, trying to get the bile out of your throat. You’d wanted to be done, wanted to escape. And yet—

“Don’t say that.” you shook your head, backing away as Dazai inched closer, too close and you felt yourself getting sucked back in, remembering that you’d loved him for years, and you’d never love anyone else. “Fuck you, Dazai. Stop toying with me, and just kill me."

“I love you. I thought you knew that my darling angel.”

You were crying harder, shaking your head. “I don’t believe you. You don’t care about me.”

“No?” Dazai had grabbed your wrist again, but it was so soft. “I thought you were smarter than that. Did you think you were partnered with Akutagawa at random, and not for the sole reason that I knew he’d do everything in his power to protect you? Did you think I moved your seat next to me at meetings because you were nothing more than my stupid whore? Bought you everything you ever wanted because I couldn’t stand you?”

“Yes,” you said, sniffing, feeling yourself melt where he touched you, itching to reach up and pull the bandages off his face, see the beautiful features beneath them that he hid from the world. “You don’t care about me."

“I do care,” he said, fingers grazing your chin. “I’ve killed for you. I took over the Port Mafia so I could give you everything you wanted. Why wasn’t that enough?”

“Because I never wanted that. I never wanted any of this. I wanted you, Dazai Osamu. That was all.”

Dazai frowned, and then he bowed his head, kissed your neck, then around your earlobe, and it was the softest you’d ever felt in your entire life, a gentleness you hadn’t known he was capable of. When his hands snaked around your stomach, pulling you back against him, you were lost in his adoration.

“You never said anything,” he said, kissing your shoulder, breaking the tension in the muscles. You were his, in every lifetime, you’d be his. “I thought you were… happy?”

“How could you think that? I’m not happy, Dazai. I’ve never been less happy.”

“Not even when I tell you that I love you?” he kissed your knuckles.

“Do you love me enough to be a better man? Do you love me enough to let me sleep in your bed and see your whole heart instead of the fragmented pieces that you sliced up just to hide?”

“Yes.” The word was resounding, resolute. “I love you enough to forgive you.”

You held him at a distance, lips falling apart easily. “But I don’t want to forgive you.”

“You will.” Dazai smiled, that irritatingly knowing smile of his that you’d fallen for in the first place. “You will because I mean it this time.”

“You never apologized,” you looked away, trying to find the strength to move. You were enraptured, in every fiber of his being. “You never will. You never do.”

“I never knew anything was wrong,” he frowned, and it wasn’t the truth, but it wasn’t a lie, and you had him so close that you just wanted to forget anything had ever changed. “How was I to fix it if you never told me?”

His words were full of poison, but his voice was so soft you couldn’t help but fall back into him. Perhaps, you should’ve said something. Maybe your actions had never been enough.

“How long have I been at your side, spent hours listening to your every word, even when they didn’t make sense to me? You should’ve known, Dazai. I shouldn’t have to tell you something like that.” Your words were losing their bite, and his lips quirked up, knowing that you were slowly coming back to him, clearing you of the sins you had committed.

He was hesitant, thoughtful, before pressing a kiss to your forehead. And perhaps, that was the final straw in your resistance, his gentle kiss enough to set your soul on fire.

“I’m sorry, my love,” Dazai said, his lips ghosting over yours, handing over the apology like a gift. “Won’t you give me a chance to fix it now?” It felt like a bad idea. Dazai wasn’t deserving of any more chances; you’d already given him years of second chances, had always given him the benefit of the doubt.

“You expect me to believe you’ll let us off scot-free?” you said, your face deadly close to Dazai’s. “What about Chuuya? Will you kill him in my place.”

“You’ve got me in your hand, love. If you want me to punish Chuuya, just say the word. I’ll kill him if that’s what you want.”

It wasn’t. That was the farthest thing from what you wanted, but you worried that if you sounded too enthusiastic, he might just follow through with it.

Instead, you pulled him to you, grabbing the dark tie that he wore around his neck. He grinned into your lips, his saccharine smile seeming much too deadly to be all that sweet. “Do you honestly think I believe a word that you’re saying?”

“You want to,” Dazai said, curling his hand around your jaw, his fingers brushing your ear. “That’s what matters the most.” He kissed your lips, and you could taste the difference, all the love he poured into it this time. It wasn’t like kissing a statue. “It’s all true, anyway.”

You broke away, breathing. “I won’t do this anymore, Dazai.” You finally had his hand in your own, placing the gun back to your temple. “You’re not the man you once were, and you’ll never be him again.” The smile that graced your lips was sad, though it was knowing. Things were always going to end this way.

Dazai’s face wrinkled as he tried to decipher all the words you’d never spoken. “I’m not the same man, that’s true, but my affection for you has never died.” He cupped his other hand around your cheek, hesitantly keeping the gun to your temple, squinting with his head bent.

“You’re the leader of the Port Mafia, and such a ruthless man wouldn’t let a betrayal go unscathed.”

There was a wave of silence while the two of you stared at one another, sifting through the situation with hardness in your jaws, the tension palpable within the air. Dazai straightened, clarity in his irises as a smooth smile burned onto his lips.

“Is that what you want?” he said innocently. “You want to be punished for your insurrections?”

Your mouth grew dry, but you held your ground firmly, swallowing back all the uncertainty. Perhaps you didn’t want to die. Perhaps you did. You just hated the gaping hole inside of you that never seemed to leave. “I want you to kill me.”

“Kill you?” Dazai laughed, then the hilt of the gun was against your temple once more. He held your chin steady between his forefinger and thumb, regarding you with thinly veiled disgust. “You’ve never wanted that before. Not when I asked you to die alongside me, to follow me far into the afterlife.” He sighed, releasing your chin before cocking the gun. “This isn’t about death at all.”

“What—”

“You want me to claim you, is that it?” He clicked his tongue before leaning forward, sneering. “Perhaps it’s that other way around. You want everyone in the Mafia to know I belong to you, hm?’

You blinked, though you began to feel weak in the knees, the eyes that you knew so well suddenly intimidating. “I never said—” but even then, your voice wavered, unsteady and uncertain of the immediate heat that had swirled under your skin.

Dazai’s mouth curled, a gruesome smile there. “I know you better than anyone. I’ve always known exactly what you want. Even though I shouldn’t forgive you, I can’t help myself.”

You swallowed, and Dazai had taken a step forward, pushing you with him, the gun still swaying at your temple, even when the backs of your thighs hit the bed. You fell onto the mattress, and he was on top of you, his finger caressing the trigger as he collapsed.

Dazai had never scared you, not even when he was a child you’d barely known, the teenager shaped in Mori’s image. Though, now, the unreadable expression on his face was alarming you, and you wondered if all this time, you should’ve been fearful.

Still, even with your underlying hesitance, you felt a wave of desire crash over you at the sheer need in his eyes. It wasn’t something you were unfamiliar with, but there was something else there. Maybe it was the love you’d just never noticed.

“Osamu,” you said in a quiet voice, not afraid, but not confident either. Your finger brushed the point on his wrist—it was the same heartbeat you’d always recognized.

“What?” he said, taunting you menacingly as he towered above you. “You were so bold just a second ago? What happened, darling?”

Unable to do anything but blink back at him, Dazai brought his thumb to your lips, brushing it across the plump skin before dipping it into your mouth.

Unprepared, you nearly choked, eyes blown wide as you stared back at him. Though, there was a command within his eyes, and you obliged, sucking as you watched the saliva drip down to his palm. Dazai pulled it away from your mouth with an obscene pop, giving you a sweet smile from his position above you.

Despite your humiliation, you shifted your hips on the bed, bringing your thighs together to provide you with a fraction of relief. Dazai’s eyes flashed at the movement, his smirk widening with an amusement.

“You’re nothing more than a dumb slut, aren’t you?” Dazai’s hand ghosted of your stomach, settling on the inside of your thigh momentarily. You ached with need, swallowing your pride and any demands that you could make of him. “Had Chuuya all to yourself this weekend, and still expect me to fuck you senseless.”

Your brow furrowed, and you opened your mouth before shutting it, lips still covered in your own spit. “Osamu,” you began, attempting to diffuse the situation, to explain that what had transpired between you and Chuuya meant nothing, but he never gave you the opportunity. “It wasn’t—”

Dazai’s gaze hardened, the adoration disappearing the moment you dared to speak. His fingers deftly wrapped around your throat, thrusting you into the mattress with enough force to quiet you entirely. “Shut up. If I want to hear you speak, I’ll ask. Understand?”

You could do nothing but nod, hating yourself for the ache that had grown more and more intense in your core, desperate for some sort of contact. Dazai, distracted with his own task of tearing your top off, had failed to notice the breathing that had grown heavier, the flush of heat that spread on every inch of your body.

His slender fingers finally removed the confining pants, a task he did skillfully with one hand still wrapped around your throat. Then, his fingers were against your aching cunt, and you twitched, letting out a heavy sound from the singular movement. You could feel yourself pulsing against nothing, desperate for his fingers between your legs.

“Pathetic,” he said, his fingers lazily dipping through your folds over your underwear. “I’ve barely touched you. How can you be this fucking wet?”

“Please,” you said quietly, your own hand aching to take over, if only to provide yourself that relief that he refused to give you. Every time you shifted into his hand, he brought it away, taunting you with the release you so craved.

“Please?” Dazai was mocking, cruel, every bit of the person people expected him to be. The one he never had been with you, not until recently. “You’re nothing more than a greedy little whore. Must have been why you fucked Chuuya without a second thought, huh?”

You were silent, staring him down with a clenched jaw. Your brain was twisting, betraying you, turning into empty cells within your skull, and you weren’t sure how to handle the accumulation of emotions that you felt for the man before you, the one who’s love had always been purposeful and merciless.

“Well?” he said, tightening a hand to close off the air to your lungs, trapping you with his strength. “Answer me.”

“No,” you gasped, and when your words sounded choked, when you clawed at his wrist, he loosened his grip just a hair, the only indication that the man you loved was in there at all. Still, your hips acted of their own accord, shifting further into his hand. “I’m sorry, Osamu, I am.” You felt tears prick at the corner of your eyes as he finally slipped his fingers under your panties, rubbing your aching clit. “I wanted you; I needed you and you were never there, but Chuuya was, and—”

You were a stammering mess of desperation and regret, feeling unglued under Dazai’s hands, like the words you’d been meaning to say could finally come out. He was the only one who’d ever listened to you completely, who you’d felt comfortable enough to be vulnerable with. Yet, it had been so long since you’d let yourself be open with him, and now that the opportunity arose, you were too weak to deny it.

“I was always here,” Dazai said harshly, and you were almost certain that his anger was genuine, the tone breaking in his voice a result of true sadness. “You never came to me, and I thought that’s how you wanted it to be.” His fingers sunk into you, and you threw your head back into the pillow, moaning sinfully with the lewd sound of him sinking in and out of you, the wetness collecting with every movement.

“You never showed me you cared,” you cried out, certain that there were tears streaming down your cheeks, and you should’ve been humiliated. It was humiliating—the way you were clothed in nothing, crying as Dazai laughed at you, taking full control over your body. How he could’ve done anything to you in that moment, and you would’ve let him, because that was just how much you wanted him.

“And Chuuya was the solution?” He grabbed your cheeks with the hand that had once been around your throat, pinching them to make you look at him. “You going to pass yourself around the rest of the Mafia, sweetheart? Who’ll get a taste of you next? I’m not so certain even Akutagawa would pass up the opportunity.”

His words were senseless, meant to hurt you, and you still couldn’t stand the anguish that was in his eyes.

“No,” you said, and you leaned up, wanting so badly for his lips to be on yours, to feel some semblance of the connection that you’d always had with him. “I wouldn’t, Dazai, I’m yours.” You choked on the sounds of your own moans, your thighs shaking with every change in pressure. “I’m yours. Please, I need you.”

You were certain there were marks on your neck from his fingertips, and Dazai ghosted his mouth along the delicate skin there, biting at the soreness from before. You jerked, digging your nails into his back as you drew closer and closer to your climax.

“Don’t make demands.” Dazai leaned back, and you missed the closeness, the sharp scent of him lingering in your space. “Chuuya hasn’t been a part of this conversation yet. Should we get him up here? I hadn’t considered what to do with him, but this might suffice.”

Dazed and drunk on the feeling of his hands all over you, it took you a moment to process what he was saying. His hand was already swiping through his phone, picking the number of the man that you least wanted to see.

“No, Osamu, don’t—” you cried out, and yet, you made no move to stop him. Instead, you remained pliant on the bed as he sunk another finger into you, his thumb moving in agonizing circles against your clit.  He tucked the cellphone under his chin, smiling at you maliciously, controlling you with every blink of his lashes.

You had always had trouble resisting him. Now was no different.

Chuuya answered as you released another moan, and Dazai was grinning wickedly, as if some larger scheme had finally come together, the culmination of everything he was plotting. “Boss?”

“Chuuya,” Dazai said, and you flinched, locking gazes with his deep brown irises, the color so alluring and beautiful, a shade that had darkened with each misfortune you’d endured together. You hated him, you did, but there was a fine line between the two, and your love for him would die with you, would transcend whatever simple rules the afterlife placed on Earth. “How quickly can you make it up here?”

You could hear the hesitation on the other side; Chuuya didn’t say anything for a moment.

“A couple minutes, I think. I haven’t left the building.”

“I’ll give you a couple minutes then.” Dazai’s words were clipped as he hung up the phone, throwing it to the arm chair a few feet away from the bed.

His attention was back on you completely as you let out a shaky breath, trying to regain some semblance of composure before Chuuya came into the room. Though it was so hard when the pools in his irises were pulling you deeper, locking you into a heaven that you’d never been able to reach.

Dazai pulled away briefly, his soaking fingers leaving your body to alleviate his cock from the confines of his dark pants, hovering before you.

You swallowed, not able to remember the last time your desire for him ached this badly. Your eyes trained on the very part of him that you wanted inside of you, the tip flushed so beautifully. There was nothing on your mind but him, how you wanted every part of him, even if it meant enduring misery after misery, and Chuuya was right—if you were to love Dazai, you needed to love every part of him, even when it seemed impossible.

A whine escaped you and you were reaching out to him, knowing he’d never let you live down your humiliation, but the future was not a part of your logical thinking, not now. “Want you inside me.”

“Surely you can hold off for a few minutes,” Dazai said, though the way his toned chest pressed to your own, and how he kissed your face with a tenderness you’d forgotten made it nearly impossible for you to refrain. “So desperate for my cock.”

You wanted to touch yourself—you would’ve, had you not been so nervous of the fact that Chuuya could come in at any minute.

“Tell him to leave,” you said, dragging your fingers through his hair, finally kissing him like you’d been wanting to, and the sound was sinful, heavy with lust as you forced a taste into his mouth, wishing every part of him was a part of you too. “I don’t want him or anyone else, just you, I promise—” 

Dazai cut you off and ignored your pleas; he smiled against your lips, though it was anything but kind. “I think he’ll enjoy seeing you like this, won’t he? You’ve got such a filthy mouth on you when you’re fucked properly.” He kissed his way down your chest, resting his face just above your breasts. “I bet Chuuya didn’t see this side of you, did he?” Dazai licked a circle around your nipple, tugging it between his teeth. “I’ve done nothing but call you names and you’re dripping all over the sheets.”

You shook your head, feeling pained by how badly you wanted release.

“Of course not.” Dazai sat back up like he could sense Chuuya approaching from the other side of the door, his presence bold and detectible. “He’s forgotten what’s mine, after all.” He smiled at you once more, kissing you with a kind of love that only he could portray, the kind that was nowhere close to innocent. “Don’t cum until I tell you to. Be good for me, okay?”

Dazai had always known what to say to you, even when your relationship was falling apart, even when you hated him more than you loved him. His words could be so tender, the praise melted in with the unkind quips of his tongue. It was the gentlest tone he’d used since your clothes had come off, and you couldn’t help but melt under him, nodding like you’d give him anything he asked of you.

Of course you would.

Dazai traced your features delicately, grinning maniacally, ears attuned to the quiet that broke from the footsteps approaching. His cock was lined up against your dripping hole, and it took every ounce of restraint not to plant yourself on it, trying so hard to please him, the sinful man who held too much power over you.

“You’re so pretty like this, aren’t you? My beautiful little whore, always willing to take whatever I give you.”

“’Samu,” you babbled, blinking away the tears as you latched onto him, wishing you could spare yourself the humiliation, but too drunk on him to care. He shifted you forward, taking your thighs in his hands and placing them around his waist. “I can’t take it all at once—”

“You’ve done it before. Do it again.” He growled, squeezing your throat once more in one smooth motion, thrusting into you. And though you had doubted how prepared you were, he slid into you easily, already so loose and pliant from his fingers. “See? Never forgot the shape of me, sweetheart. Even after you’ve been with another man.”

You let out a choked moan as Chuuya walked into the room, lost in the ache and the burn and the pleasure that came with loving and fucking Dazai.

There was one singular pass of silence before Chuuya spoke, letting the door shut with a quiet click on the hinge. “Boss—” Chuuya was hesitant, though his eyes were immediately drawn to you, raking over your blissed-out form. “You said to—” His hand was still on the knob, though he was distracted, and tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, ashamed but so full of want that it ached.

“Come in, Chuuya,” Dazai said sharply, his words solid and commanding, and you couldn’t help it when you clenched around him, drawing him further into you with nails scraping down his back. “We should discuss something.”

“Well, can we talk about it when you’re not in the middle of fucking your girl?” Chuuya asked, swallowing down the desire he hid so poorly. His cheeks had flushed, words just on the edge of stumbling and slurring together. “Another time, maybe.”

“This is the perfect time, actually,” Dazai stopped moving, already breathing heavily above you as you stared, whined, needing so badly for him to stop teasing you. “Besides,” his eyes drifted knowingly to Chuuya’s obvious erection as he laughed darkly. “I don’t think you mind so much.”

Dazai pulled back painfully slowly before sinking into you with a quicker thrust, your back arching off the mattress to catch even more of him inside of you. A barely noticeable sweat had broken against his hairline, and you stared at him, mouth slightly agape in awe at the boss of the Port Mafia, the one you somehow had wrapped around your little finger.

Your breathing had grown unsteady as his cock got deeper and deeper inside of you, hitting where you’d never been quite able to get with your fingers, the thickness of him catching on every sensitive part inside of you. His hand was back between your legs, rubbing circles on your clit, and you weren’t sure you could last much longer, not as he carried on a conversation with Chuuya, who watched you with darkened eyes, barely holding himself back.

“Please, Osamu,” you were practically begging now, your cheeks glistening with wetness as you clawed at the muscles between his shoulder blades, surely leaving bruises all down his spine. “Please, please, let me cum.”

Dazai made a tsk noise in the back of his throat. “Not yet. I don’t think you deserve it quite yet, does she, Chuuya?”

Chuuya sniffed, shifting uncomfortably as his pants grew tighter. “Gonna punish her all day, boss? Such a pretty thing should get what she wants, shouldn’t she?”

Dazai dropped his chest closer to you, going deeper into you, and you cried out his name, though your eyes were still locked with Chuuya, as if he were going to be your savior. You remembered how gently he’d touched you, how careful he was, and you wondered why you’d ever wanted that at all.

“Chuuya thinks he can fuck you better than me, darling, but you know that’s not true, don’t you? He’d spoil you too much, but this is what you want, right? You want to be called a stupid fucking cockslut.” Dazai grinned against your lips, whispering in a breath that only you could hear. “Just so that at the end of it all, you’ll be my good girl.”

You whimpered, soaking him as you clenched harder. Your brain had gone numb from the feeling of him. Dazai was smiling viciously, but you could see the underlying tenderness.

“She looks so pretty right now, doesn’t she Chuuya? Not a single thought in that beautiful little head of hers.” He smiled at him knowingly, dark hair flopping into his eyes as the rest of the loose tendrils stuck to his forehead. “You’re lucky. You’ve gotten two chances to see her now. Twice as many as most men who fantasize about fucking a woman that sleeps in another man’s bed.”

Chuuya’s voice was raw, his words cracked. “You’re sick, Dazai,” he said, clenching his hands into fists. “Putting on a show like this just to punish me.”

“You and I both know you’re enjoying this.” Dazai traced your cheeks sweetly, kissing your lips deeply. You let out a strangled breath into his mouth, something on the precipice of a moan. “Can you do one thing for me, pretty girl? One more, then I’ll let you cum, how’s that?”

You nodded, desperately, as Dazai’s fingers finally dipped back down, rubbing agonizingly light circles.

“Tell Chuuya who’s making you feel this way,” Dazai said, pushing your face away from him to stare straight into Chuuya’s dark eyes. “Tell him who you love the most.”

“You,” you gasped out, clenching tighter around him. What an easy request to make—you’d never loved anyone else. “I’m in love with you.”

Dazai sniffed, though he was patient, slowing his thrusts almost to a stop. “Not good enough. I need you to be more specific.”

You cried out, locking your ankles onto his hips, trying to force him back into you. But Dazai didn’t budge, watching you until you provided the answer that he so desired. “I love you, Dazai.”

He frowned, shaking his head once more. “My name. Say it. It sounds so sweet from your lips.”

“Osamu,” you choked out. “I love you, Osamu. I love you. I love you.”

Dazai finally smiled above you, gently tracing your cheeks with his thumb as he slowed down the pace of his hips. “I love you too, darling.” His words were soft, whispered into your lips before he turned away, meeting eyes with Chuuya across the room. “See?”

Chuuya was glowering, stiff as a board, his face pink, and his legs shaky. “I got it, Boss.” He choked out, though his eyes were on you, unable to leave your body, even as he tried so hard to be polite. His aching cock strained against his pants, and he breathed sharply, swallowing over and over. “Do I need to be here any longer?”

Dazai laughed, and you thought he looked so pretty when he did that, his smile flashing wide and alluring, the corners of his eyes crinkling marginally. “Never said you had to stay. I figured you’d want to watch her come undone one last time.”

Chuuya, for as noble as he wanted himself to be, made no move to leave, glued to the spot on the floor beyond your bed. He was just across the room, but you couldn’t focus on anyone but Dazai, Dazai, Dazai, Dazai, the man who you’d killed and bled and committed horrible acts for.

You said his name again, scrambling to bring his attention back to you, hands on his face with a desperation you didn’t realize you’d possessed.

And Dazai, with the kindness of a man he wasn’t, placed his hands just above your stomach, leaving kisses across your chin as he thrust into you, sweetly, menacingly, one last time. “You did so good, my love. You can cum now. Make a mess all over my cock, beautiful.”

You jerked, squeezing around him as you felt the pressure in you finally release, the colors shifting and changing between your high as Dazai brought you in and out of an orgasm, his words reaching your muddled brain with soothing noises. Your body twitched as your muscles spasmed, sweat gathering in the space under your knees. There was little in your mind, save for the dark-haired man that had quickly become your whole world.

You smiled lazily, lacing your fingers with Dazai as you slowly began to come back to yourself. The world around you was empty. Chuuya had all but disappeared into a block of nothingness as you stared into the world itself. If there was no Dazai, there was no you, and it was as simple as that. He was everything you’d ever wanted—you’d be a fool to ever left him go.

As you regained your breathing, still sensitive all over, Dazai came inside you, spilling hot release into you, and you couldn’t bring yourself to care, too busy being satisfied with the feeling of him all over you.  His hands never left you—he was delicate, caring, pressing loving touches into your skin as you recovered from your high.

“I’m yours, Osamu,” you said, closing your eyes as you basked against the bed, wanting nothing more than to curl up against him, bury yourself in the warmth of another body. 

He smiled against your cheeks, lips flushed and bruised. “I know you are,” he said to you only, before pulling away. You shivered, but opened your eyes, and he’d already held the gun out to you, presenting it as an offering. “That’s why you’ll be the one to kill him.”

It took you all of ten seconds to remember who him was, and that the man who had borne witness to your most intimate moments with Dazai had not disappeared and was still gawking at you from the corner of the room.

“What?” you asked stupidly, your jaw falling open.

“You heard me.” Dazai pressed the pistol into your palm, curling your fingers around the handle. It was like ice against your hot body, and though it’d been years since your first time firing such a weapon, you suddenly felt like you were there again, uncertain, and afraid of the dangerous firearm. “Kill him.”

You stared at Chuuya, the honest man who, even despite his rough exterior, had been there for you since you were kids. You remembered how the three of you had been so close, for such a long time, until Dazai had gone and killed Mori and fucked it all up.

It felt wrong. The entire situation was wrong, and it never should’ve come to this.

“It’s Chuuya,” you said with tired eyes, something in your voice pleading and desperate.  

Dazai shrugged, holding you close against him as you struggled to sit up in the bed. Your muscles ached and you were still so sensitive, but reality was coming back to you. This was all a mess, and you wanted so badly to feel shame at everything you had done, but you were trying so hard just to–

“You’d think I’d let him live after what he did?”

“Osamu.” You weren’t sure you could bear it. You’d always sworn to kill whatever adversary Dazai and the Port Mafia faced, but Chuuya would always be an exception. You wanted him in your life as much as you wanted Dazai, someone you could trust without fail, who would listen to you complain even when it hurt him. “I won’t do it. He’s my friend. I thought he was yours too.”

Dark eyes full of disdain met your own, and he pinched your jaw once more, a mixture of devastating anger. “I can’t allow a traitor to live. I’ll kill him if you won’t. Then, I’ll kill you. Then myself.”

You shoved him away, suddenly wishing you weren’t so exposed, on display in the middle of the room. “Then fucking do it already, Dazai. What are you waiting for?” A tear broke free from your eye, and you wiped it furiously, not giving him a chance to mock you.

“Stop.” Chuuya finally spoke, his voice drawing your attention like a commandment, and you fell silent, refocusing on him as he bowed before you, dropping to his knees. Eyes locked onto your own without a single fear, cruel acceptance surrounding dark pupils. “It’s alright. I deserve to die. I’ve broken your trust, boss. I might as well be a traitor to the Mafia.” He swallowed, though he was unwavering. “I don’t want to live with this feeling any longer.”

“Don’t say that.” you spat, hating that such a strong man was giving himself over, exposing every weary weakness that he’d come to carry. “You don’t mean it.”

“I do.” He sighed, straightening his spine as he leaned forward towards your hand, much as you had done before, and you realized that this was such a sick, twisted change of fate. That the affection you’d always doubted was real after all, but Chuuya was still left playing the fool.

Perhaps, you were of the same vein, wanting desperately to die in the heavenly hand of the one you loved most. You could understand him for that. You could grant him one final wish.

“Do you regret any of it?” Dazai asked, as the wheels in your head spun, the decision dawning upon you, handed over from the ancient tragedies, rival even to the gloomy romances of Shakespeare.

Chuuya shifted towards the other man, looking into his cold, distant eyes. “No,” he said honestly, his jaw set. “I don’t regret it because now I know she’ll never love me. She’s all yours Dazai. Always has been. Always will be. Does that satisfy you?”

There wasn’t an ounce of fury in his expression when Dazai smiled back.

“You heard him,” Dazai said, lifting your limp arm by the elbow, pointing it like a skilled tutor. The gun was on Chuuya’s forehead, between his eyebrows, and your finger was on the trigger. Dazai’s whisper was like the Devil on your shoulder, and you were falling fast, your last shred of morality burnt from papery resolve. His hand supported your weakened muscles, guiding you along like you’d never before committed such an act. “You’re an assassin, aren’t you?”

You stiffened, narrowing your eyes before cocking the gun, mustering up the last bit of strength you had left. Chuuya couldn’t have looked more prepared for death, and you basked in Dazai’s prideful smile as he branded it into the crook of your neck.

“You’re certain?” you said to Chuuya, once more, hand no longer shaking despite your guilt.

The man, nothing more than a victim, nodded, and he had the audacity to smile, to look peaceful about his release from this life.

“I’m sorry, Chuuya. You shouldn’t have to bear the weight of my sin.” “It’s mine to carry, just as it is yours,” he scoffed, eyes hard with resolve. “Of all the things that would land me in Hell, I hardly believe this is the worst.”

You nodded, regrettably, and took a steely breath, erasing the heat the stung behind your eyes.

Then, you pulled the trigger. You waited for Chuuya’s brains to stain your floors, for the remnants of his skull to shatter all across the wall behind him. For the life to slowly drain from his stunningly bright eyes, leaving you with nothing but a corpse that would rot away wherever Dazai chose to toss his body.

Though, none of those things happened, and you stared at each other with fierce incredulity, knowing that you’d unwillingly become puppets in Dazai’s dramatic play, a show put on for no one’s entertainment but his own.

You’d been completely senseless, an idiot, really. The gun had felt lighter than usual, and you’d ignored it, even when you should’ve known it housed no bullets.

“Dazai?” you said in a low voice, dangerously, twisting to look at him from over your shoulder. An anger you’d never felt before had bubbled up inside of you, your heart thundering with a fierceness you hadn’t realized was a part of you. “There’s no bullets.”

“Obviously,” he scoffed, taking the gun away like it was but a toy, throwing it onto the armchair in the corner. “I’d never kill the strongest ability-user in the Mafia. You both should know me better by now.”

You scowled, the ugly expression marring your face, and Dazai frowned, leaning forward to appease you. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“You played me for a fool. Was all of this an act?” you cried, wondering if maybe Dazai had been lying this entire time. Maybe all those sweet words he said had never been true, and you had fallen for them anyway, like the mindless pawn you were.

“Which part?” Dazai asked, but you could tell that he knew what answer you sought, what lies you wanted to unveil.

“You know which part,” you said, moving away from him, not sure what emotion to grant control. You felt an intense amount of fury, misery, and pity for yourself, who’d never asked Dazai for anything but to be on your side, and he still couldn’t give you that. “Fuck you, Dazai.”

Your lip quivered, but if you’d begun to cry, shame would swallow you up and drown you in the dark abyss of misery. You would have no other choice but to throw yourself out the window, where everyone in the Port Mafia could bear witness to all the ways that Dazai had ruined you.

“Boss—”

Chuuya’s sentence was cut off sharply.

You’d tried to climb out of the bed, but Dazai had grabbed your wrist, stopping you before you could escape from him once and for all. Though he spoke to Chuuya, his eyes were hard on you, never leaving the set he stared into as you swallowed over and over, trying to think of anything but the sick feeling in your chest.

“You can leave now, Chuuya. Consider this your lucky day.” His voice was icy, threatening, and though Chuuya lingered a moment before climbing to his feet, he spared you nothing but a small glance in return.

You inhaled, then exhaled, trying to stop the simmering of blood within your veins, feeling the heavy weight of his hand on your wrist. As you sat there in silence, waiting for him to be the one to break it, you started to wonder how much of this was really Dazai’s fault, and how much you were the one to blame.

“It was a test.” Dazai tried to bring your attention back to him, letting only a fragment of emotion drain into his voice, though it was enough to slowly, slowly pique your fascination once more. “That was all.”

You wet your lips, though your tongue was just as papery. “So none of it was real.”

“What do you mean?” Dazai came to sit in front of you, his skin pale in the dark lighting, and you could see the cracks in his facade, and maybe this splinter in your failing relationship would slowly begin to heal itself. “Everything I said was very much real.”

His soft fingertips traveled up your arm, curling around your shoulder, across your collarbone, before settling in that delicate space between your jaw and your ear. There was a starry look in his eyes, the twin pair that had been exposed.

“Why would you do something like that to me?” you said, scrunching your face in remorse, wanting to slither away from him, even as he drew you closer, close enough to smell the expensive cologne he wore, the liquor that he favored when you were away. His hair had been freshly washed, and the smell of shampoo still lingered, even under the thin layer of sweat.

“Why would you do something like that to me?” Dazai countered, the hurt not veiled in the slightest this time, and it didn’t take a genius to know what he was talking about. Heat flooded to your cheeks, and you were looking away, wondering why he was pulling you close to his chest when he should be hating you with the passion of a thousand fiends. “How could I trust you after that?”

You parted your lips to speak, but your jaw was locked, and the inside of your mouth tasted like cotton.

“I’m not a good man,” Dazai said, kissing the shell of your ear, your temple, and you squeezed your eyes shut, clinging to his bicep. “You’ve always known this. Yet, for as often as you talk about me with disgust dripping from your words, I’ve never sought to bring you pain.” He breathed in deeply, and you buried your face into his chest, wondering how much longer it’d be before you wept. “You’ve caused me pain.”

You tried to cry out, to tell him that you never thought it would hurt him, but he’d seen the very same in you, hadn’t he? You’d never given him any indication that the coldness in his words was bothering you, that the blurred lines of your relationship were getting confusing and hurtful, and he had done the same.

“We’re not good for each other, Osamu,” you whispered quietly, your lip quivering. The weight of your voice shattered against your vocal cords.

He let out a breathy laugh, smiling against your forehead. “On the contrary, I think we’re the perfect fit.”

For what reason he believed that, you weren’t sure.

You clenched your jaw tight, but it didn’t stop the feeling of tears from overwhelming you, hot droplets that spilled heavy from your eyes, running off your chin to Dazai’s chest. Your hands shook, clenched around his arms so tightly you were sure you were breaking the skin.

Dazai pulled away, monitoring your face with concern. You hated the way he looked at you with such pity when he was the reason for such pain. Yet, you couldn’t help but curl into him, warm, never wanting to escape from his reverence. “Why are you crying, my sweet angel?”

Nausea soured your mouth, and the regret that tinged you, tainted you, was vastly overwhelming. It was horrible in a way that you’d never felt.

It struck you, then, that you’d been blind to Dazai’s every affection, too ignorant to notice the ways that they had shifted as his life did. He no longer held your hand over the table during meetings, but the chair beside his was just as grandiose, and he greeted you with something of a smile when you walked into each room. He no longer accompanied you on assignments, but you were always taken care of, in a hotel most people couldn’t afford with a partner that could singlehandedly take out a hundred men. He no longer picked you flowers from a wild field as he’d done as a boy, but the vase on the table always held a beautiful bouquet of deep, red roses, without a single wilting flower.  

Chuuya, all this time, all these years had been right. There was no use in loving Dazai if you couldn’t stand him in his darkest hour, the bitter ugly side of him that no one wanted to see.

You’d never thought about it, really, but you’d changed just as he had. Everyone in the Mafia had blood on their hands, was ruined in more ways than one, and you were no exception. If loving Dazai meant loving those parts of him, then loving you meant just the same.

The tears fell harder, and Dazai seemed panicked, stricken, always so oblivious when it came to the affairs of your heart, and sometimes he tried, but you couldn’t hate him if he didn’t.

“I’m sorry,” you said pitifully, knowing from the spoiled heart in your very chest had ruined everything. “I’m sorry.” You said it again and again until Dazai was shushing you, running a large, cool palm down your back, the only way he knew to soothe you.

“I wish I’d never done it. I wish I’d just spoken to you, asked you, anything—” you wiped your face, heavy breaths stuttering before Dazai took your hands away, and erased the tears for you. “I just thought you hated me. It was the only thing that made sense.”

Dazai smiled sadly, because no one had taught him to love. How was he to know that he’d been doing it wrong all this time. “I wish I’d seen it before. I didn’t mean to push you away.” He sighed, dropping his head to your shoulder with a weariness that he’d been born with. “I’m sorry.”

A tingling sensation began under your skin, and you were warm all over, realizing just how much that apology had meant to you. For some reason, it felt like coming home.

The strong grip that nostalgia had on you gradually began to melt away.

[vanilladove]

hiii hello vani<3 may i request smt angsty with dazai and reader in which he’s acting neglectful/unfaithful as a partner and you just deal with it? but you don’t hate him or anything you’re just really sad about it hehe tysm ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

☾⋆.ೃ࿔* ghostin

gif creds fybugoustraydogs | divider creds benkeibear

₊ ⊹☁ pairing: dazai x gn!reader

₊ ⊹☁ genre: angst :,)

₊ ⊹☁ content warnings: distant/neglectful relationships; canon mentions of double suicide bc dazai lol...i couldn't bring myself to write a cheating dazai i'm sorry T~T inspired by ghostin + better off by ariana grande!

₊ ⊹☁ word count: 1.9k

You shivered under the cold sheets when your alarm had woken you up. The space next to you was empty, your lover nowhere to be found.

It had been like this for months now, but it was nothing new due to the nature of his job. Dazai always became distant right before handling a new enemy for the Armed Detective Agency. He only disclosed vague details to you, explaining that withdrawing himself was a way to protect you since he didn’t want enemies knowing about you. Before leaving, he’d muttered something about keeping you away from “the demon”.

But you had to admit, the feeling of being 'safe' from a far away, unknown enemy didn't compare to being wrapped in your lover's arms, the soft kisses on your forehead, gently running your hands through his brown fluffy hair, and whispering sweet nothings to eachother. You missed his corny jokes and the nights you two would have together after drinking too much sake, giggling on the floor and watching the stars on your open balcony—Dazai always pointing out the constellations and telling you the stories and lore behind each one.

He had been staying at a secret location far from your shared apartment, so the sheets didn’t smell like his musky, warm cologne anymore. The space felt ghostly now, and hanging out with your friends barely helped. Stirring a sugar cube and cream into your morning coffee, the things they said repeated in your head.

“Just break up with him..."

"You don’t deserve someone who ignores you—especially if he puts work above you…”

"He's definitely cheating on you with all the travel he's always away on..."

Your friends didn’t understand though. They didn’t understand the depth of your relationship or how Dazai loved you. He was a reserved man; he didn't let anyone into his heart, always putting on a flamboyant front to mask his true self. Even becoming his partner and finally moving in with him was a feat in itself and was something he'd hesitantly accepted. You knew he had a traumatic upbringing and that the ones he cared for eventually left his life, often in a tragic way; the last thing his broken heart could take was losing you.

Which was why you put up with the cold sheets in the morning, the single serving meals, and all the sad movie nights alone—because deep down, you knew he cared about you. Your lonely conscious couldn't handle any other explanation.

You tiredly shaped the triangular onigiri filled with snow crab and placed it in the wooden bento box, along with some tamagoyaki and salad, savoring the momentary heat in your hands. It was Dazai's favorite lunch—something you used to pack for him everyday. You forcibly dragged yourself out of bed to make it for him after receiving a text—from an unknown number, of course—that he was stopping by the apartment to grab something. You knew it was futile waking up early; it wouldn't stop him from leaving with no explanation, from not being targeted by the port mafia, the hunting dogs, or "the demon". How silly and lovesick you were.

Closing the lid, you put the dishes in the sink and placed a piece of bread into the toaster, staring intently as you waited for it to finish, which seemed like forever. You took a sip from your mug, cringing when the lukewarm liquid touched your tongue. Shit, your coffee had gone cold. That never happened when he was still there.

The lock clicking snapped you out of your somber thoughts, and you turned your head around to face the self-inviting visitor. Gaze softening, you admired the tall man in front of you, wrapped in a tan trench coat, which you instinctively slipped off from behind him, his tense shoulders relaxing under your fingertips as you draped the coat on a nearby chair. Wordlessly, you both exchanged melancholic glances before Dazai made the first move, stepping forward to close the space between you two. His slender fingers slowly came up to caress your face, the foreign touch making your cheeks heat up. Leaning forward, he closed his eyes and placed a soft kiss on your cold lips, "Hi, bella."

Forcing yourself to open your lids again and not overindulge in the much needed contact, you smiled at your lover, but it didn't quite connect back to your eyes, "Welcome hom—errr—back...You needed something from here, right?" You replied, choosing your words carefully so he couldn't hear your evident desperation.

Dazai blinked carefully, "Yeah, a flash drive. It's in one of the kitchen cabinets. Is it fine if I look around for a bit?" You nodded, looking down at the tiled floor and smiling at nothing. Dazai was always like that, hiding important things in the most impractical places as a precaution. As he fished through the cabinet, he turned his head briefly to look down at the abandoned mug sitting on the counter, "Is that for me?"

You wiped the nostalgic grin off your face, reaching for your coffee, which you'd made in Dazai's usual mug, "A-Ah, no. It's mine, sorry," Dazai raised an eyebrow at you, "I made it earlier this morning, but it's cold now. I'll make you some more." You offered, trying to brush off his suspicions and the strange looks he was giving you.

He sighed, stroking your hair lightly, "It's fine, darling, brew yourself a new cup, and I'll drink this one." He gave you one last reassuring pat before picking up the mug and slipping away into your shared room to look for something else, giving you no time to protest. What seemed like a sweet gesture really had a double meaning: I'm not staying long enough for a new batch of coffee, so I'll just take the cold cup.

A pit formed in your stomach as you dumped out the used coffee filter and reached for a new one. Your vision started to blur, stopping you before you could open the lid of the coffee grounds. Wet drops falling on the back of your hands made you realize you were crying. Instinctively, you brought your hands up to cover your mouth and block any sobs from Dazai, who was still next door in your bedroom.

Stop it.

You tried to coerce yourself, but you couldn't help it. The despair was too agonizing; to have the one you needed most close to you but not being able to tell them to stay, to hold you, especially since you knew how precious you were to him—if you asked, he'd drop everything to stay the night with you. Everyone at the ADA was aware of that, which was why they'd sat you down and conveyed that you couldn't dote too much on Dazai. You understood that and had stayed by his side anyways, knowing that being with him sometimes was better than never. Even if it broke your heart in the process. Even if it meant crying silently in the kitchen while your lover was in the next room, oblivious to the tears wetting your sleeves.

Deep down, you wished he would notice the pain you were in. You wished he would text and call you more or at least take you out to dinner and do special things when he'd finally come back, but he always resumed your daily routines almost like he'd never left. It made your heart ache, feeling like he disregarded his long leaves and their effects on you. You sniffled quietly and quickly wiped your tears away upon hearing rustling from the bedroom doorway signaling that Dazai was almost done grabbing what he needed.

Inhaling deeply, you breathed in and out slowly to calm your frantic heart and turned to the side to face the counter as your partner walked back into the kitchen.

"Found what you were looking for?" You asked, trying to cover your face with your hair and sneakily wipe away any residual tears.

Dazai swiftly passed by you, going towards the chair to slip his trench coat back on and grab the lunch you'd made him. "Yeah, I found it. Thanks for the bento and coffee by the wa—" Your eyes widened as he trailed off mid-sentence, all of a sudden feeling his presence next to you. He bent down to peer over at your face, evidently still swollen and a bit red from crying.

He rotated your body towards him and pushed the stay hairs from your face, intently observing your features. "Bella, have you been crying?" He stroked your cheeks delicately, "And your eyebags are so dark...have you been getting enough sleep?" He looked genuinely worried, peering into your eyes for any sort of insights, but it was too hard to maintain eye contact with him.

"I'm fine...I—" You muttered, words trapped in your throat.

Tell him you miss him. That you don't want him to leave you again.

No, don't! Let him walk out as usual. Your sadness isn't worth letting a countless number of innocent people get harmed or killed.

Thoughts conflicting and wearing your tired soul out, you only mustered a weak smile, placing your cold hands on top of Dazai's. "If I died now, would you still die with me?"

"What?"

"You promised we'd commit a double suicide together. Would you still—" Dazai's arms wrapped around you, pulling you into him, his warmth and comforting scent making tears fall again, not knowing the next time he would be back. You cursed yourself internally for breaking down in front of him, but you couldn't hold your emotions in any longer. He only held you silently, running his hands through your hair as you sobbed into his chest. You felt lightheaded, crying for several minutes, the only condoling things being the scent of Dazai's cologne and the way he held you to remind you he was still with you.

You looked up from his chest, gazing into his chocolate brown eyes, which were swirling with uncertainty. A pained expression was on his face, no doubt from your actions. "I'm sorry, my love. I'm so sorry..." He lifted your face up to kiss your lips gently and kiss away your salty tears before pulling you back into his chest. "I was selfish to think you wouldn't be hurt by me always being away. I tried to turn a blind eye to focus on work, but..." He exhaled shakily, "...somehow I always hurt the people closest to me...even the one I love the most."

Dazai squeezed you tighter in his arms, "I love you, and I know we'll get past this, darling. I don't expect you to forgive me, but please, please don't think of resorting to that." He cradled your face, forcing you to look up at his broken eyes.

This was the power you had over him. Prison, criminals, and even the mafia couldn't break him anymore, but your tears could melt his gaudy, confident facade instantaneously and bring him to his knees. Exactly what everyone warned you about.

You nodded slowly, the last of your cry session being wiped away by Dazai's thumbs. You hugged him back, listening as his rampant heartbeat went back to normal, staring off to the side.

"Listen, bella, I'm going to be gone for a few months. I suspect I'm going to be arrested and sent to a high-security prison...probably somewhere overseas. We won't—we won't be together for a while." You heaved, holding your breath, "But," He turned your head to face him, "I'm going to stay here for a couple of days until then. Is that okay?"

Before you could think, you crashed your lips on his, and Dazai only happily kissed back, smiling, grateful to have cheered up his love again.

"Y-Yeah, that's fine. I love you, Osamu." You sniffled back. He could stay forever if he wanted to, but you'd take a few days.

"I love you, too, bella. I always will, even when I'm not with you. Enough for the both of us."

[roesworks]

to be treated right.

osamu dazai x female reader

summary : hes going to finish what your boyfriend couldn’t

warnings : nsfw, implied cheating (but they’re doing it safely don’t worry), oral (fem receiving), fingering, p in v, dazai is slightly out of character kind of?

+ aftercare because yes

word count : i’ll count tomorrow

your boyfriend was an absolute greedy bastard.

sex wasn’t fun anymore, your boyfriend ruined it for you. he seemed to always do it for his own personal gain rather than pleasuring you, and that pissed you off more than anything. what the hell did you do to deserve this?

well, the answer to that was nothing, because you weren’t doing anything wrong. your boyfriend was the equivalent of a hookup; he always got to finish, yet you were left there, naked, uncomfortable… you were so tired of it.

not to mention, your boyfriend had a shitty personality as well. how did you fall in love with him in the first place? you really had no idea. you didn’t like him anymore. hell, you pretty much despised him, not just for the sex aspect, but for the fact that he was just a dick.

you found yourself sitting on your bed again, post sex, wet but unable to come. as your boyfriend left your shared apartment to go out with a few friends, you began to sob hysterically, reaching for your phone out of desperation. you needed someone to help you out more than anything, but who were you going to call?

well, there was a man at the establishment you worked at who was absolutely head over heels for you. he knew you had a boyfriend, and he knew that your boyfriend was a terrible person, (he often questioned why a sweet, pretty girl like you was dating an awful, awful man like him) especially since you often came to him about your problems with him. maybe this was the perfect time to give him what he wanted.

osamu dazai was at work when he got your phone call. he smirked, lifting it to his ear.

“good evening, ‘bella-” he frowned as you cried to him over the phone. how shitty of a person can one be to constantly leave your girlfriend alone and uncomfortable?

“please, osamu, i need you so badly right now. it hurts so much, please.”

who was he to deny?

“i’ll be there, ‘bella.” and he hung up the phone. what seemed like less than five minutes later, there was a knock on your door, and footsteps walking towards your bedroom. when he opened the door, there you were: naked, crying, and uncomfortable.

“please, osamu, please,” you mumbled under your breath. his heart crushed at each and every sob that uttered through your poor, pouty lips. osamu leaned in to kiss you, tugging at your hair slightly as he pushed your naked body backwards onto the bed. you tug at his shirt, slipping it over his head, exposing his chest, stomach, and bandaged arms.

his lips went south, to your neck, your breasts, and finally in between your legs. he paused, looking up at you. “and you’re absolutely sure you want me to do this?” he asked. sure, he was absolutely thrilled to be here with you right now, but this could also be a spur of the moment decision on your part. though, you nodded ferociously in response.

“use your words, ‘bella.”

“yes, please i want you to do this, more than anything.” that was all osamu needed to hear. he began to press light kisses inside your thighs, tongue trailing around the inside of your cunt. you whimper at the touch. your boyfriend was no where near as good as he was.

osamu opened your legs wider, sticking two fingers inside of you while he simultaneously ate you out like a hungry dog. you gripped at his hair, the sensation flowing throughout your body. your legs were shaking, tears brimmed your eyes, god it felt so good to be treated right.

“mm osamu, please,” you repeated over and over again, his tongue going faster and faster, “please let me… osamu.”

boy, did he love when you screamed his name.

“yes, ‘bella, come.” legs shaking, you released into his mouth. he took as much as he could, swallowing it, and looking at you with lustful eyes. he crawled back on top of you, his lips pressing to your neck, leaving small lovebites in its wake. “if that bastard won’t mark you up, then i will,” he hushed with certainty against your neck. you weren’t opposed to it at all. frankly, you planned on ending it with him, anyway.

you felt your arms reach for his belt, loosening it and removing it from the loops of his pants. you slid his pants down and threw it on the floor with the rest of your discarded clothes. osamu was left in his underwear that had already formed a tent, and you could feel it against your thigh.

“mm osamu i need it. please.”

he chuckled lightly, bringing his lips to yours. “so needy f’me aren’t you, ‘bella? tell me what you want and i’ll give it to you.” you groaned lightly at his teasing.

“i need your cock, osamu, so badly. i want it more than anything!”

“more than anything, huh?” you agreed with more pleas, tugging at his underwear. he smirked and took them off in response, releasing his cock that flung against his stomach. you grabbed a condom from inside your nightstand, opening it and giving it to him. he rolled it onto his member, and laid back on top of you.

he grabbed your hands and held them above your head as he directed his cock towards your entrance. with no hesitation, he went inside of you. you whined with each thrust. “you feel… fuck… so good, ‘bella,” he said lightly, “you’re doing so well.” you loved his praise so unbelievably much, and each time he called you by that silly pet name, you melted. compared to your boyfriend, osamu was rather loud. you didn’t mind it at all; you preferred it, actually. at least then you didn’t have to question yourself if he was enjoying himself or not.

you continued to moan as he thrusted in and out of you. arms still above your head, he began nipping at your neck again. “i’m close, ‘bella,” he muttered. you whimpered his name in response. “i’m gonna… fuck.” but he didn’t stop. he wanted you to be first. after all, he was here for you.

“me… too…” you stammered out. you clenched your hands into fists, letting out another loud moan. “osamu…” and you felt yourself release. in turn, osamu did as well, stopping suddenly as you finished together. he released your wrists from his grip, and you cupped his cheeks, leaning in to kiss him again. you were so unbelievably grateful for him.

“let me clean you up, bella,” osamu climbed off of your bed and walked to your bathroom to start a bath. approaching you, he picked you up with strong arms and brought you to the bathtub, laying you down.

the water burned against your skin. not in the bad way, but rather a comforting way; a scalding hot bath was exactly what you needed.

“can you join me?” you asked, voice low and hoarse. he smiled and nodded, joining you in the bathtub. you leaned your head against his chest, sighing.

“i’m so grateful for you, you know,” you said softly. “you’re too nice. you didn’t have to come all this way.”

osamu hummed in response. “mm, i had to though. i can’t leave you at home by yourself in this state. it’s not very healthy, if you ask me. i’m doing your shitty boyfriend a favor.”

“i don’t want to be with him anymore.” your eyes began to well with tears. you’ve been with him for over three years. three long years of mistreatment, not just sexually, but emotionally as well. how could you have been so blind? why didn’t you end it with him sooner?

osamu sighed. he grabbed a bottle of shampoo, squirted some on his hands, and began to massage his fingers through your scalp. you sunk into his touch. “you don’t have to if you don’t want to, ‘bella. no one’s forcing you to anything. if he’s mistreating you, then don’t bother sticking around. i don’t blame you at all for wanting to leave.”

“i don’t have anywhere to go.”

“you could stay with me-”

“-no i couldn’t possibly put you through all of that trouble.”

you felt him chuckle. “what trouble? all i’m offering is that you stay with me. where’s the harm in that?”

“i just… feel bad, is all.”

“well, don’t feel bad. i won’t let you. although, if you end up feeling so horrible about it, then we can commit a double suicide together. then we’ll both be happy.”

you laughed lightly. “of course, because your motivation in life is finding a beautiful woman to commit suicide with. don’t you have any other morals?”

“mm, morals are more kunikida’s thing.” he grabbed a cup and filled it with the bath water. “close your eyes.” you obeyed, and he dumped the water on your head, white specks of soap dripping down your hair.

“well, you seem to know what you’re doing.”

“and you seem surprised.”

“i didn’t say i wasn’t. i am surprised.”

he grabbed the bottle of conditioner and repeated the process. “i have decently long hair myself, you know. i can take care of hair. i’m not an animal.”

“mm, i guess.”

“hey, if i was an animal, you would still be crying on your bed right now.” you stayed silent as his fingers brushed through your hair, evenly distributing the conditioner. you knew he was joking, but the hard reality of it stung you.

“fine. point taken.” he smiled contently, ridding your hair of knots. “you’re too kind. why can’t he be like you?”

“well, not everyone can be like me, ‘bella. it’s unfortunate, isn’t it?” you chuckled.

“very.” he gestured you to close your eyes, and you did, feeling water pour down your skin again. you stayed in the bath together in comforting silence. sensing that you enjoyed the feeling, he massaged your scalp every so often.

not everyone can be like osamu dazai, sure, but you were so grateful that someone like him existed. compared to your boyfriend, osamu was the nicest person in the world, and even that at times was a stretch.

did you feel guilty for cheating on your boyfriend? well, yeah. you may have cheated, but you’re still a sensible human being. though, did he have it coming? yeah. he did. three long excruciating years of dealing with nothing but heartbreak could do something to a person. with the way he treated you, you wouldn’t be shocked if he cheated on you once or twice. you didn’t really mind, or even care anymore. the only person on your mind was osamu and his kindness.

exiting the bathtub, you wrapped yourself in a towel and threw yourself back on the bed. osamu followed behind, grabbing his clothing and putting it back on his body.

“i should probably get going… i don’t exactly want your boyfriend to see me right now.” you felt yourself wanting to cry. you didn’t want him to leave.

“okay.” you bit back your tears.

he walked up to you, dragging you to a sitting position, and hugged you. “if you wind up ending things with him, let me know, okay?” you nodded. “i won’t let you live on the streets, you hear?” you smiled, laughing lightly.

“okay, i’ll hold you to that, then.”

“good.” he picked up his jacket. “take care.”

you leaned back on your bed, feeling more content than you have in months. maybe breaking up with your boyfriend won’t be so bad. after all, you do have a backup option - an option a hundred times more appealing than your current situation.

[stuffeddeer]

Hello! Are requests open?

If not, ignore this ask.

I wanted to ask you a beast dazai x neglected reader. Like, a reader who has been ignored and neglected from her entire family since she grow up. She no longer gets goodbyes, she has to cook for herself, her parents don't even acknowledge her when she's sick.

She's been recently accepted as a member of the port, more specifically a secretary of the one and only Dazai Osamu in flesh and bones. Just her luck, this so "scary demon prodigy" is also the sweetest most loyal and pretty boyfriend of her.

When Dazai finds out how she gets (or rather not get) treated at home, he gets genuinely pissed off!! And wanting her to just be good, he asks her if she want to spend sometime in his penthouse, far from that family, somewhere where all the attention she needs is on her, at least there Dazai can actually show her how much she's worth all the love in the world! Come on, she gave him a reason to live, how could he even accept she is living a shitty life in such an house?

Also, PLEASE, PLEASE. An au where beast dazai doesn't kill himself. Also, I love the concept that in every universe the reader and him are soulmates. Like, it's just so perfect I'm so in love with that idea!!

ALSO AGAIN OPS, i wanted to say that I LOVE LOVE your dazai SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH!!!! I've recently stumbled into your blog and I MUST SAY THAT THIS IS JUST.. PERFECT???? I love YOU, deer, for all your wonderful ideas, I love THE ASKS, because damn all your asks give just as wonderful ideas as the one you write out, and I love YOUR WORKS especially the y!dazai like yes???? Just yes????

(My favorite character is Chuuya, but my soft spot for Beast dazai is actually insane, you don't even imagine how much I love that man. Also, because my heart just hurt and break each time people talk about Dazai being a cheater, THANK YOU??? THE ASK, AND YOUR REPLY, THANK YOU SO MUCH??? COULDN'T LIVE WITH THE FEELING DAZAI THAT CHEATS ANYMORE! THANK YOU THANK YOU)

Anyways.

Woah, this got long, I swear I'm not crazy..

Can I be ⏳️ anon if no one else is??

HIII ⏳️ ANON!!! im so glad you enjoy my works and my dazai!!! (as opposed to . asagiris dazai lmaooo)

im sorry this is so late 😭 but im back on the writing grind 😼

The lights were on in your boyfriend’s penthouse, a bolt of worry shooting down your spine at the sight. With his spare key haphazardly shoved into your pocket and door left wide open, you tiptoe into what should've been his apartment, trying to find out if someone broke in.

Dazai had asked you to stop by and drop off something at his place — not exactly standard work for a secretary but you were happy to assist your boyfriend. In your arms now were the groceries a different lackey had picked up and left on your desk. Normally Dazai would take them back himself, he said, but he would need to stay at work late and finish up some things. You were to take his place and make sure the refrigerated goods didn’t go bad. That’s what he said to you, anyway, which you found a bit confounding; Couldn't he have a lackey bring it up in your stead? Sure, Dazai liked to bring his own food to his home to alleviate the threat of poison, but it wouldn't be the first time he let it happen anyway.

While you had been a bit skeptical, pushing the topic seemed unnecessary since you were more than willing to do it either way. Any time spent far from your home and your family was time you cherished, so you didn’t think twice before accepting his stupid and unusual request and taking his spare penthouse key.

But now, you were regretting it. Anyone capable of breaking into the Port Mafia boss’s penthouse was not someone to be underestimated: you were in serious trouble. Cautiously, you hold the paper bags tightly to keep the food from moving around noisily before peeking into the kitchen: the room with the lights on. What could they be doing here..?

Plating dinner, apparently.

“Love! You’ve finally arrived - good. Take a seat!”

Your boyfriend was donned in a frilly pink apron you’re sure he bought just for this occasion, since you've never seen him in it before. With an amused chuckle, you stepped back. "Let me close the door then I'll join you."

After putting away all of the groceries he'd asked you to bring home for him - and realizing he already had all of these items in his cupboards and refrigerator already - you tug on the ribbon keeping the apron fixed against his neck.

The top half falls down from his chest, curling over the second tie around his hips and dangling loosely. "Undressing me already?" Dazai hums playfully.

"You're obnoxious." Next comes the tie around his waist, the bunched up apron fabric quickly pulled against your chest. You gently push Dazai to the side as you unfold it. "C'mon, I'll take over now."

Dazai huffs childishly, pouting dramatically for the full effect. "Hey!" He reaches out, snagging the apron from you and quickly tying it back on himself. Hands securely gripping your waist, Dazai lifts you from the ground and carries you - feet hovering just over the wooden floor - to the dining room, where an empty basket sits between variously sized candles on a decorated table.

On either side of the table are empty plates and fancy napkins, ones you hadn't known Dazai even owned, with cutlery resting on top. Two glasses sit on the table, one scotch and one wine glass, both filled with their respective drinks. Dazai sets you down next to the table, feet finally touching the floor once again while his arms snake out from your waist, making sure to pat your tummy once as his hand slides around it.

"Hope you're hungry - I made your favorite. It's all plated and ready to go, I just... burnt the bread you like. That garlicky kind from that restaurant we went to a few weeks ago? I gently requested the chef to give me the recipe and she happily handed it over! Of course, it must've been my handsome good looks that finally made her acquiesce rather than the gun in my coat pocket— "

Your wonderful boyfriend continues to prattle on and yet you barely register any of it, just thinking about how he knew you liked that bread and wanted to go to extreme lengths to recreate it for you. A bit timidly, you hold his hands in yours, giving them a mild squeeze. "I can't believe you went to the trouble."

The sound of your whisper makes Dazai grin, puffing out his chest in pride. "Of course! I'd do anything for my love," he says, voice leaning more on the side of egotistical than genuine, a light joke hoping to make you laugh. Like always, he succeeds.

The kiss you press to his cheek makes his smile turn more sincere, a hand moving to flatten the frilly pink fabric around his waist. "Guess you read my apron."

You look down, noticing the tacky KISS THE CHEF embroidered onto the front. A playful scoff passes your lips, rolling your eyes while trying to bite back a smile. "You're annoying. How long have you had this?"

"Umm~," he hums for a moment. "7 hours? And I thought you said I was obnoxious." A high pitched ding! sounds from the kitchen, Dazai quickly rushing back and leaving you alone. You gaze back at the dinner table he set up, smiling excitedly at the thought of him putting all this together just for you.

Spending time with Dazai always lifts a weight off of your shoulders, laughing at his dumb jokes and complaining about your day - it’s a wonderful feeling the both of you lacked prior. Him from his upbringing in the mafia, following in Mori’s footsteps and cursed to take his position, and you - not allowed to rely on anyone except yourself from the moment you could walk. Both you and Dazai were accustomed to loneliness and isolation, knowing the only people you could trust were yourselves.

Coming together after forced alienation all your life made you bit hesitant to depend on him, especially at first. Asking for attention and affection is much scarier than just wanting it. However, Dazai had seemed to warm up to the idea relatively quickly, as though he already knew you could be trusted and had already been used to your presence.

It was a bit jarring, knowing the scary mafia boss was so enamored with you he'd practically jump onto you if you got too close. All things considered, he should've been as cautious as you were, but Dazai so easily slid into his role as your partner. Sometimes you feel bad knowing that you haven't been as forthcoming as he has.

"Stay with me tonight."

The sudden turn in conversation makes you freeze, hand pausing with your glass of wine lingering just in front of your lips. Conversation had been flowing easily just moments prior — chatting about each other's day and various similar small talk, before turning to the dinner at hand. You'd thanked Dazai for the meal before asking him why he decided to do this for you so randomly. Instead of answering, he'd simply replied with the above: stay with me tonight.

"Stay here? Overnight? It's a bit last minute..."

Dazai smiles as you set your wine glass down, staring at him as though expecting an elaboration. Which, of course, he's willing to supply. "And tomorrow night, if you'd like. The one after and every night after that."

Is he asking me to move in? you think, breath hitching. It's all so sudden; you'd never even discussed this possibility with him. Sure, you've spent a night or two over here and there - but very sporadically. It wasn't something often and definitely not frequent enough to lead into moving in so soon.

"Stop overthinking," he cuts into your thoughts. "Take what I'm saying at face value." Gently, Dazai's hand reaches out to grab yours, arm resting on the table as his thumb traces your knuckles. "Stay with me tonight. And we can reassess tomorrow."

Of course he knows how to calm you down, causing you to breathe as you focus on his thumb's ministrations on your hand. Well, it would be nice, knowing the options are to stay with your loving boyfriend or go home to your neglectful family. They wouldn't even notice you're gone, much less care where you ended up, but...

"I have pajamas and clothes for you to use, spare toothbrush and the like." Dazai had answered your question before you even asked, something that always made you smile. No one had ever taken the time to know you, much less well enough to read your mind like that. "If they're not to your liking, I'll have a subordinate get you something else."

You shake your head, wanting nothing more than to spend a night away from your home once again. Or away from your house, rather - since Dazai has quickly proven himself to be your home. "I bet they're perfect. And if not, I— " you hesitate, not wanting to impose. The last thing you wanted was to be—

"You aren't a burden. If not, we can just get something else," Dazai cuts off your train of thought. "I want to, okay? I want to take care of you. I want you to know what it's like to be looked after and taken care of."

"I was going to say if not, maybe I can move some of my clothes here... for the times I stay over." Anxiously, you pick up your fork to poke and prod at your meal, the lovely dinner Dazai had crafted just for you consisting of only your favorite foods.

Dazai nods quickly, eyes glimmering at the idea. He knows this is your metaphorical olive branch, letting him know that you're working up to one day moving in with him. All he wants and all he's ever wanted for as long as he's known you, spanning across multiple lives, is to keep you safe and happy.

The topic changes as dinner continues, and before you know it you're donned in the most expensive pajamas curled up against Dazai fast asleep. Watching you snore beside him, all he can think about is making sure you're surrounded solely by people who cherish you.

[astral-gamma]

bsd x reader when some bsd men are talking to another woman or person and they seem to be getting just a liiiittle too comfy so reader get jealous and is clingy all day but doesn't speak and/or ignores them. reader can be fem or gn

fluff , no smut or seggs pls

chars: fyodor, nikolai, dazai, ranpo and whoever else you want! (but maily fyodor cuz i'm a s.i.m.p)

(i can see reader just dragging niko where ever she/they go but don't even make eye contact with him)

u wanted requests and i thoughts of this so you can do it whenever u want and also thank you!

Characyers: Fyodor-Dazai-Nikolai-Ranpo (separeted) making reader jealous ^^

Note!: this took so long yet i couldve done much better 'cause i dont really like it *cries*

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ── ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ── ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ── ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ──

FYODOR 

Fyodor has been spending the whole day with this cute girl and ignoring you, it's not as we was cheating on you,you knew that, and you also knew that she Was just a pice for a new plan of his… yet he was only looking at her you kinda felt bad and sad. you felt a shockwave go through you as you  saw him smiling with her, a sudden jealously that I had not expected. His enthusiastic motions drew her in like a magnet as he leaned in a bit too near. You observed from a distance, creating fantastical stories about their friendship in your head. What were the secrets they were sharing during those giggly conversations? you couldn't help but feel irritated by his lack of interest.

As the day went by , dusk approached, the boy with darker locks eventually decided to come back to the house you shared.

Your cheeks were still wet from the tears you had just cried, and you were already fast asleep, cuddled up under the covers of your large bed. Fyodor, who was incredibly smart despite everything, saw this and knew right once what was going on.He knew what was coming for the day when he woke up the next morning with you in his arms (obviously, it wasn't bothering him in the least; in fact, he was just glad to have you close)... He probably knew that you had no intention of leaving him for at all, and for the rest of the day, Fyodor tried to work but was distracted by your soft touches and gentle actions. Eventually, he gave up and paid attention to you, giving you the cuddles and small gestures that you sorely needed.

"Still jealous my Mishka?"

You said nothing just stayed in is warmth “oh my,my dear i love you and you only”

DAZAI

we all know how dazai flirts with all girls but this time he went over the limit and spent the whole time talking to the waitress despite her and YOUR  discomfort. It was supposed to be your date and what does he do? Flirts and is with another girl!!!? 

When you were then on your way home he tried to talk to you and start a conversation but your responses were a simple "mh mh" or "yeah sure" in a cold and uncaring tone and this behavior went on until the next morning. You had calmed down and were getting up and noticed that the raven-haired boy had already disappeared to who knows where....

You got ready to go to work and noticed that your boyfriend was already there,without thinking much about it I took the chair and stood beside him linking your arms to his upper arm

He looked at you with a confused look

"Bella! You need"

No answer

"Bella?" 

No answer,just you snuggling into his arm

He understood and left you there while he did everything but work

NIKOLAI

Having a bright and cheeky nature, Nikolai would naturally draw attention from others.

You observed with a sinking heart as Nikolai struck up conversations with appealing girls.

You wondered, your mind racing with uncertainties and fears, "What if Nikolai prefers the company of those girls over me?"

You couldn't get rid of the uneasy sensation in the air that night as they sat by the fireplace because you couldn't look Nikolai in the eyes."What troubles you, my love?" With a soft voice, Nikolai questioned.

But you remained silent.You rushed up from where you were sitting and hopped on him, giving him a tight embrace without saying anything. The man realized after some consideration that you were probably overthinking things.

 Nikolai held your hands in his and soothed your anxious state with kind words of passion and love as his eyes softened with tenderness. He explained that while he appreciated the beauty of others, it was you who held the key to his heart, and no one else was comparable to you.

RANPO 

Ranpo acts and behaves in a very childish manner; he is direct in everything he says and does, frequently acting without hesitation.

He doesn't even understand it at first—he's the greatest investigator in all of Japan, yet he's incredibly naive—he doesnt even realise hes making you jealous and kinda feel bad.He didn't even look at you during a investigation in which you were tasked with assisting him, and he ignored you if you had something to say. All he was thinking about was that case and how he could make himself stand out and demonstrate that he was the greatest, the smartest, he and he only...

You'd be lying if you said this behavior wasn't upsetting you.You choose to remain in the distance, maybe to let time pass or in hopes that someone would eventually take notice of you.

Ranpo only returned to you a few hours later, mumbling about how foolish everyone was in comparison to him after Ranpo's Ultra Deduction had solved the case.

You didn't respond, and he realized right away—not because of his incredible deduction, per se, but also because he observed your depressing attitude.

He let you snuggle and love him because he knew deep down thats what you wanted and opened his arms to make you feel better and in hope you'll forgive him. 

[osaemu]

・𖠗 EMAILS I CAN'T SEND EVENT !

with songs featuring gojo, geto, dazai, chuuya, and childe !

BEFORE YOU LISTEN . . .

careful, there's gonna be some pretty mature themes headin' in . . . sex, cheating, overthinking, y'know, the usual. it's hard being hot !

WHAT'S THE ALBUM ABOUT ?

well, i heard some guys from jujutsu kaisen, bungo stray dogs, and genshin impact are involved in the drama, maybe you know them !

TRACK 9: NONSENSE "baby i'm in too deep, here's a lil' song i wrote, it's about you and me"

꒰ pop star!reader x secret lover!gojo

being a pop star is tough, and maintaining a relationship alongside it is even harder. good thing you have a boyfriend to share the nights with, but what happens when those night-time specials start seeping into your daytime routine?

TRACK 10: FAST TIMES "tiptoeing past so many stages, but what the fuck is patience?"

꒰ coworkers with benefits ft. pm boss!chuuya

being a mafia boss is hard, and the stress that comes with it could kill. so, your boss's solution is to take it out on his pretty little secretary — you. one thing leads to another, and soon it becomes a regular thing. it's okay, it's not like he's gonna fuck you during work hours, right?

TRACK 11: SKINNY DIPPING "if we could take it all off and just exist, and skinny dip in water under the bridge"

꒰ break up –> make up ft. criminal!geto

when you found out he wasn't who he said he was, you dumped him on the spot, and after that you didn't see him for nineteen days. so what happens on the twentieth day when you run into him at your local coffee shop, and how did it end with his dick in your mouth?

TRACK 13: DECODE "you're good at impersonating someone who cares, and you had me for a minute there"

꒰ actor!reader x actor!dazai

your co-star is known for his acting prowess, and maybe he's just a little too good, because even when the lights are down and no cameras in sight, you can never seem to figure out if he means what he says. even when he's drunk in your sheets, every word seems carefully calculated to get something out of you — who knows what he wants?

TRACK 15: FEATHER "your signals are mixed, you act like a bitch, you fit every stereotype, send a pic"

꒰ it girl!reader x fuckboy!gojo

you're everything, and he's just another fuckboy. but even though he's the biggest dickhead you've ever met, you can't deny that he's very, very attractive. so what happens when you have one too many drinks and end up moaning his name all night long?

TRACK 16: LONESOME "did you think about her face with your hands around my waist? did you even give a fuck?"

꒰ exes with benefits ft. fuckboy!childe

you probably shouldn't still sleep with the boy who ruined your life, but hey, he's the only one who knows how to fuck you just right. even if he made you cry for a week straight, you'd rather be crying out his name than wallowing in self-pity at home. and it's not like you're gonna get back together with him, are you?

TRACK 17: THINGS I WISH YOU SAID "i saw you met somebody and i'm jealous as hell, that i can't even stomach loving somebody else"

꒰ cheating ft. ex boyfriend!dazai

maybe it's wrong to cheat on your current boyfriend with your ex, but you never moved on and apparently, neither did he. and shit, he's just as skillful with his words as ever, so just one night wouldn't hurt, right?

SO, WHEN CAN I HEAR THE STORIES ?

well, hannah'll tell you whenever she feels like it, but who knows what order she's whisper them to you in ? it'll be a surprise ~

CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHEN THE STORY'S OUT ?

there's no taglist or anythin', but you can check back here to see if anything's leaked yet ! ++ maybe follow hannah and her tag, 'cause she said she'll post updates there . . . #✧ — emails i can't send

have fun listening! reblogs very appreciated xoxo –> signed, hannah

[tired-xyra-urstruly]

𓆩⟡𓆪𝙰𝚛𝚎 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝙲𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚗 𝚖𝚎!?𓆩⟡𓆪

Yan!Reader x Yan!Dazai

One-Shot Fiction

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘∘₊✧──────✧₊∘∘₊✧──────✧₊∘∘₊✧──────

Summary: You had a dream he was cheating on you! But was it true?

Dazai, he is a former port mafia executive. Dazai, he is a current armed detective agency member. Dazai who hates pain, hates dogs, and especially hates his former partner in the mafia, Chuuya Nakahara. Dazai, who likes crabs, likes the idea of suicide, and likes alcohol. Dazai who was your boyfriend. Yours only. He was the only thing on your mind. Every single corner, every single thought, anything, would be connected to him someway and somehow.

✧. ┊Want to continue?

Dazai, he is a former port mafia executive. Dazai, he is a current armed detective agency member. Dazai who hates pain, hates dogs, and especially hates his former partner in the mafia, Chuuya Nakahara. Dazai, who likes crabs, likes the idea of suicide, and likes alcohol. Dazai who was your boyfriend. Yours only. He was the only thing on your mind. Every single corner, every single thought, anything, would be connected to him someway and somehow.

Ever since the day you both first met, you knew he was the one for you. You wanted him. No. You NEEDED him. So, you started collecting his belongings, it started with a document he just tossed away, then strands of his hair, chewed gum, and anything else you could get your hands on. You hid a wiretap on his clothes once, he found it cute and amusing because he hid a wiretap on you too. Did you know he hid one on you? No.

It's currently 10 in the evening, stars sparkled outside in the ink dark sky. You, as per usual, are on your bed chatting with your boyfriend through *insert any social media app*. It got your heart pounding faster and faster whenever he replied within seconds to your message. Notification after notification, you couldn't get your eyes off the screen. On the other side of the screen was Dazai, watching you through a camera he hid in your house. Pictures of you were plastered all over his room walls, and aside from that. Mostly nothing else could be found.

Your eyelids started to get heavy, you couldn't fight the feeling of drowsiness coming over you. Before you could pass out you decided to send one last message to Dazai. "I love you, Dazai. I love you so much that I want stab any woman who would try to talk to you." How endearing, this is why he loved you.

"I love you so much that I want to destroy any man who lays eyes on you." Was the last thing you read before dozing off.

"Impossible! I was taking pictures of you through your window!!!" He passed you his phone which was generosly unlocked for you. Quickly, you found the contacts app. You were the only one in his contacts. Good. That means he prioritized you over work. Next, you opened his gallery. It was you. You were the only thing in his gallery, and he wasn't lying. You scrolled through the pictures of you that he took through your window last night with a look of satisfaction. "That's actually... So sweet!!" You hugged him tightly clasping your arms around him full of affection and he did the same too. The other members of the Agency, who have been watching the whole thing were... Weirded out to say the least...

The doors of the Armed Detective Agency slammed to reveal a very furious and irritated figure, which was you. The Agency wasn't really surprised to see that you were the one at the door, you always did just to see Dazai. Your grip tightened around the knife in your hand as you advanced towards Dazais table. You drove the sharp object into the wood of the table forcibly which gained his attention. Dazai glances at the knife and then at you. "Oh, hey [Name]... What's wrong?" He asks.

"... I had a dream where you were cheating on me. Explain." You looked him dead in the eye.

"Whaaatttt?"

"Explain." You repeated. How could he? Especially in your dreams.

END

[ilovechuuy4]

if you are not taking requests at the moment please ignore this (aside from how much I adore your writing and how I need it in my veins)

if you're taking requests, then could I request Chuuya and Dazai (separately and with a gn! reader) when they cheat on the reader and how they get back together? angst to fluff. my heart could never handle your angst, your writing is too good and it would genuinely wound me in ways I would never recover from.

love you :)

I Told My Friends I Hate You, but I Love You Just the Same✯*٭˙∘

Chuuya/Dazai x Gn!Reader (seperate)

Warnings; Thick tension / Angst

Description; They cheat but then want to get back together with you.

A/N; HAI SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I FEEL SO BAD BUT I HAVENT HAD MUCH MOTIVATION TO WRITE ANYTHING. PONDERING SO MUCH RN. SORRY FOR THE RANDOM FANFIC DISAPPEARANCE AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY!!!!

🐟Dazai ೃ⁀➷

⋆·˚ He intentionally cheated on you, the night you caught him with another person in the bed y'all shared TOGETHER.

It was a late night when you arrived 'home' or the place you thought was home. You shuffled inside the eerily quiet apartment, but something was off, usually your boyfriend was home waiting for you on the couch but today wasn't the same as you heard distant moaning from your bedroom. You skittered to the bedroom, swinging open the door a loud thud and then a recoil of the door. Your eyes widening at the sight of Dazai in bed with another. 'Why?' is all you said you couldn't find any other words to say as tears pierced your eyes and trickled down your face that was already a red hue from frustration.

The brunette couldn't even say a word before you stormed out the entire complex. Running down the empty streets of Yokohama tears streaming down your reddened face. You weren't sure where to go other than Yosano's house it was your best bet. When you arrive, you were already heavily breathing as you rang the doorbell. It was already pretty late so you weren't sure if she was up or not but to your luck, she was. As she opened the door, her eyes snapped open at your tear-streaked face.

"Oh Y/N what happened.?" She asked, gently pulling you into the house and closing the door. She wrapped you in a gentle hug, her hand rubbing your back as she listened to you explain what exactly happened. Yosano was astonished, it was obvious Dazai would do a thing like that cause he's well, dazai. But in the bed y'all shared together is an entirely different step. 'Cmon lets just go get you some change of clothes and get you to bed." Yosano says as she guides you to her bedroom.

Once you had taken a shower and borrowed some of Yosano's clothes, the two of you rest on the couch for the remainder of the night watching different dramas, romances, actions etc. When you woke up in the morning, your phone had multiple of missed calls and messages from Dazai himself. You read through some of the messages; “Im sorry” “Hey, please answer me.” “Baby, please.” They were all simple messages but as you read further down, they got more urgent and desperate even. “Hey i know you’re getting the calls, answer me.” “Please im SO sorry, Y/N, please text me.” and so on. You bite your lip as you read through the messages you felt worried, if that was the right way to put it. You let out a staggered breath as you sought up the courage to call your boyfriend.

As you sit there on the soft sofa, listening the rings echoing in your ear, you eventually here the soft ‘click’ of the call being answered and on the other line, an urgent and distressed tone. “Babe? Hey where are you?! You didn’t answer any of my calls or messages! What happened!” His breathing was loud as you heard the shaky breathes, he let out. “Fuck, i know i messed up and im sorry. That thing i done, i know it was fucked up and im sorry! Please forgive me it won't happen again!” He explained through the phone, on his side he was biting his nails.

You hadn’t heard him this distressed since missions he had for the agency. “Dazai, calm down.” You mutter through the phone, you didnt know what to say there really wasnt much. “I just need you to calm down. Im fine, just meet me at Yosano’s house i guess.” You said fidgeting with the strings of the shorts. You couldn't lie to yourself, you missed him. Maybe it was hard to forgive what he did but you really did miss him.

Rubbing your temples, you slowly stand up going to the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of water. You sip on it slowly, waiting for your boyfriend to arrive. Thirty minutes go by before you hear knocking on the door. You sit up from where you were leaning against the counter before you slowly shuffle your way to the front door, Yosano wasn't home, she had left a note that said she went out and she'll be back later.

You knew that it was Dazai, not only because he told you he'd be there soon but the urgent knocking on the door. You opened the steel door, the hinges creaking. You stare at the taller figure, his eyes seemed to be "shaking" as he stared at you before hugging you tightly. You could feel his body trembling against your own, you couldn't fully forgive him for what he did, you knew it would take time and he knew that too.

You let out a staggered breath before resting your head on dazai, forehead pressed firmly against his shoulder. You could feel the brunette slowly massaging your hips, the other cupping the nape of your neck. "I'm sorry." You heard him say beneath his breath, you knew he wasn't all too big on apologies so for now this was okay. The hug meant a lot to you.

"It's alright, you already know I can't forgive you though. We can work around all the flaws, nobody is prefect." You tell him, but deep down you knew you'd slowly end up forgiving him, you loved him, you always would. You felt him gently grip your chin, pulling it to make you look at him.

"I mean it. I'm sorry. I'll never do it again, I truely do love you." The bandaged man spoke, he was sincere, you knew he was. The way he looked deeply into your eyes, forehead pressed against your own as leaned in to slowly kiss you, lips colliding in a tender kiss. "I love you, I dont want anything changing that." He managed to mutter out, slowly pulling away with a smile, tears pooling in his eyes, things were going to be okay.

🍷Chuuyaೃ⁀➷

⋆·˚ You misinterpreted EVERYTHING. the thing you saw wasn't the story behind any of it, he didnt enjoy seeing you like that.

You, the pretty joyful person that was going out with a "scary" port mafia executive? Maybe opposites really DO attract. But that didn't seem to be how things work out today. You wanted to surprise him, bringing him some lunch and a new wine you found, you had everything planned for a nice lunch date. You had taken time out of your day to refrigerate the wine so it was still cold when arrived, to go get food not gourmet or anything but food nonetheless.

Did that mean nothing to Chuuya? The love and affection? The time you spent doing everything to make him the happiest man alive, it meant nothing? When you had arrived in the corridor to Chuuya's office, there he stood with another, that same person kissing the man you love. Chuuya's eyes we're wide, he didn't see you but they we're wide but you didn't care about that, you cared that he didn't automatically push her away.

You could feel the paper bag with the wine inside slip from your hand, shattering on the ground with a loud crash. It echoed through your own ears and the ears of others that were nearby. You watch as Chuuya snaps back to reality, his mind and body know fully processing that his colleague kiss him, in front of you. He heard the loud shatter of the glass, his head snapping over to wear you stood, tears flowing down your face that was erased from any other emotion other than sadness.

You feel yourself stumble back before sprinting out the large building, not even giving yourself a chance to rethink your decisions. Tears kept pouring down your face they wouldn't stop, no way. He wouldn't actually cheat, right? The image only rolled through your head like a record on repeat. You could hear heavy steps chasing behind, laboring breathes as there was deep, staggering, almost terrified yells of your name.

"Y/N!! Just give me a damn minute to explain!" Chuuya yells, his voice trembling with every word. He didn't want to use his ability in this type of situation, he didn't want it to seem like he ruled over you cause of an ability he wasn't even born with but that wasn't the point. He kept sprinting right behind you, no matter how hard it was to breath, he just needed you to stop.

You didn't want to turn back, you couldn't. He couldn't see you like this. Broken, if you'd have to describe it yourself. You just ran. Ran and ran and ran until you were unable to anymore. You were letting out deep gasps of air as you could quite literally feel Chuuya staring into your back. "Darlin' would you just give me a chance to explain what happened?" The ginger spoke, gently sitting down on the ground next to your out of breath form.

You didn't have the energy to argue back as you just give him a small nod. Chuuya pulls you close, letting your head rest on his shoulder. "You know I didn't cheat right? It was a big 'ol misunderstanding, I didn't kiss my colleague I wouldn't ever do that to you in a life time." Chuuya told you, he was sincere when he told you this as he reached down, interlocking the both of yall's fingers together.

You glance at him worrily, you wanted to trust him you really did but there were so many questions. "Then why didn't you automatically push her away?" You ask, your breathing now back to normal as you trace your thumb on the lines in chuuya's hand. "I wasn't expecting anyone to kiss me, it took me a moment to process anything. Im sorry darlin', how can I make this big ordeal up to you?" The blue eyed male asked you, glancing over at you with eyes that begged for all your forgiveness.

You had a blank stare on your face for a moment as Chuuya was practically begging for your forgiveness with his piercing blue eyes. You exhale with a soft smile, you couldn't stay mad at him even if you wanted. "Just a kiss then." You answered, it was always an "apology" Chuuya enjoyed even if he always asked multiple times more if there was "anything else you needed" cause a simple kiss didn't seem like a good apology.

Chuuya let out a soft huff, he knew it! He knew you were going to say a kiss, he had a love, hate relationship with this sort of an apology, but he leaned in and kissed you anyways. It was slow and tender and full of silent love that sometimes neither of you shown. You let out a content hum as y'all kiss before pulling away, this was enough for now you knew that you'd pester him later though. It was a silly misunderstanding on your end and you're up to admit it too.

"I'm sorry again, doll. It won't happen again. Hell of you want I'll try to dress unattractive?" Chuuya teased, his hand running up your thigh as the two of you sit on the curb of the side walk. "How could you, of all people, dress unattracively?" You ask, letting out a soft laugh under your breath. "Well I'm not sure, sweetheart. But I could sure try for you."

[yurislotusgarden]

TEACHER/PROFESSOR!DAZAI HC'S

ʚїɞ There are hc's just about teacher Dazai but also some including reader so-

ʚїɞ Dazai x reader

ʚїɞ Keep in mind English is not my first language, so you may find mistakes!

ʚїɞ word count: 845

ʚїɞ My current ongoing Christmas event

ʚїɞ Part 2

ʚїɞ Tw’s: None! Just some regular fluff and stuff

ཐིཋྀ The teacher that all students love

ཐིཋྀ Whatever he would be teaching, no one would mind the subject because he manages to make anything interesting

ཐིཋྀ Speaking of, depending on what institute he teaches at, his subject would differ

ཐིཋྀ If he was in middle/high school he would probably be an English teacher (yes he would be the one to tell the class to read books in English but no one would complain because he’d choose interesting ones)

ཐིཋྀ I feel like he would be a professor at a university more though, he’s giving the vibes of a literature teacher, I would say (still could be the English professor ngl but I think only if there was no free spot for a literature one)

(Yes I know many people who write teacher!Dazai make him a literature prof but it just fits this man)

ཐིཋྀ Let's go with the university professor because I have more ideas for that

ཐིཋྀ There’s only 2 options for cheating

ཐིཋྀ There's absolutely no way you're cheating in his class if he doesn’t let you, probably will allow it ONLY if he likes you though💀

ཐིཋྀ Or he would be one of the teachers who would turn a blind eye to it if he sees that you need a better grade at the moment (if you're cheating while having good grades then that's a no-no)

ཐིཋྀ I picture him wearing black gloves, but I'm blaming it on the Beast novel where he has them

ཐིཋྀ Fucker almost never sits in the actual chair when one would expect him to do it (like when students are writing a test)

ཐིཋྀ He just straight up sits on the edge of his desk or on top and does his stuff in silence

ཐིཋྀ While teaching he either sits on the edge of the desk or walks around a little

ཐིཋྀ Cracks jokes all the time and people always laugh at them or at least smile because he knows when to say them and what kind fits the moment

ཐིཋྀ His students would accidentally find out that he has a drawer with sweets (he sometimes uses it for bribery, for example ‘you turn your work in on time = a candy for you’ when he assigns a hard project, it works)

ཐིཋྀ If Chuuya teaches at the same place then no one is escaping their bickering, the students actually made a bet on how long it would take before Chuuya hits Dazai for one of his insults

ཐིཋྀ There was also another bet that came about after the previous one

ཐིཋྀ At first, students were curious if Dazai was taken because 'how would someone like that not be in a relationship guys, he has to!'

ཐིཋྀ Little did they know some other professor heard it and told Dazai about it so he gave subtle hints but not clear enough, confusing people even more

ཐིཋྀ Going back to the gloves part, he once had to take them off because ‘they got dirty’ right before a break, revealing a ring on his left hand, causing the class at the time to erupt in chaos

ཐིཋྀ “Oh, I forgot to tell you all that I'm married? My bad, guys!” -he said right before he slipped out of the class for his lunch break

ཐིཋྀ The whole school knew he was married the very same day 

ཐིཋྀ Then came the other bet, ‘Who is he married to?’

ཐིཋྀ Some students proposed other professors, others said that it could be someone whom they had never seen, and someone else thought it might be a joke from Dazai's side because he found out about the previous bet

ཐིཋྀ They knew it was real when Chuuya of all people confirmed it 

“Sir I have a question, it's unrelated to the lesson though”

“Don't worry about it, what is the question?”

“Is it true that Professor Dazai is married?”

“Yeah, why?”

“HAH?!”

ཐིཋྀ Yeah he also confirmed it was someone they most likely hadn’t met as the brunet’s spouse works somewhere else/stays at home

ཐིཋྀ They would meet you because you either came to Dazai's classroom because mf forgot his lunch or a few of his students came to the room in the middle of a break, and you were there for some reason (in the 2nd option they probably asked you to come to class once so the class can meet you. They adore you either way)

ཐིཋྀ When it comes to you, Dazai is probably so goddamn soft that if any of his students saw him, they would think it's someone else trying to impersonate him

ཐིཋྀ You make him bentos and stuff and he never fails to eat them <3

ཐིཋྀ He appreciates it so goddamn much when you help him when he has a lot of stuff to grade at once because he procrastinated it 

ཐིཋྀ It can be making sure he isn't dehydrated, doesn't forget to eat or sleep, or even help in grading anything 

ཐིཋྀ Give him those forehead kisses after a long day, don't be shy, I dare you he’s so weak for them

ཐིཋྀ I recommend running your fingers through his hair while he's lying down on top of you or on your lap, he will melt

Notes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated

[lit3rallyll0yd]

Can I request a scenario where dazai and fem reader are hanging out together and suddenly some guy that went out with her once on a bad date sees them and assumes they’re together and is really sad about it and asking for another chance. Like lowkey embarrassing. And dazai is a bit jealous because “why didn’t she tell me she’s been going on dates?”

I just want a little funny Chaos with crushing!dazai.

when dazai has a crush on you - dazai x fem reader

synopsis: on which the osamu dazai had a massive crush on you; however he has no idea how to go about it and suddenly has an awkward interaction with your ex, who begs for you to get back with him.

a/n: when life gives you motivation, you use it all in one one-shot and never return!!

"what's your favorite ice cream flavor?" he asked you as the two of you were walking down the streets of yokohama. winter was finally here and snow covered what used to be green grass and the clouds were in the shades of grey and white.

"dazai, it's freezing!"

"ah, but that doesn't mean we can't have a special treat!" he grinned, quirking an eyebrow as he waited for a response out of you.

you rolled your eyes with a smile; "if you just have to know!!" you said dramatically, a hand to your chest, "it's pistachio..."

"you basic-"

"HUSH!" you clamped his mouth with your hand, laughing to yourself as he looked at you with a "GIRL WTF-"

"i don't care if calls me a basic bitch, THERE GOOD!!" he held his arms up in defense, "your words not mine!"

you slapped his arm once more as you both kept walking.

"are you going to pay?"

"didn't i tell you? i lost my wallet in the river, it belongs to the frogs now."

"osamu- that was 2 YEARS AGO!!"

"and those frogs MUST have a mansion by now!"

"oh my go-"

"but you, my sweet y/n, you must have some spare change to by your best friend in the whole wide world to get some ice cream for us??????"

he blinked at you with his fingers interlocked with each other and you sighed, shoving his face away from his own.

"i literally hate you..."

"you looooooove me~"

what he said may have been true; we'll, he hoped?

-

"have you ever wondered if atsushi purrs?"

you looked up at dazai; raising an eyebrow as you took a bite of your ice cream. "where does your mind go after work hours?" you shook your head as you chuckled; "wait, I'm serious. like if you scratch behind his ear, does he meow?"

as dazai went on and on about god knows what; you saw a familiar boy stand next to the store of the small ice cream shop...he seemed to be with other boys, around your age, and he was just kinda glancing over at you.

where do you recognize him from?

"are you okay?" dazais voice caused you to look at him quickly, "hm?"

dazai grinned, "something on your mind? is it my, witty charms? my gorgeous vocal cords, or perhaps-"

you shake your head chuckling at just how stupid your best friend is, "no- no, sorry. i just zoned out!"

he nods, not wanting to push further and once again started to talk about random things that popped into his mind.

after a bit, you notice the boy was gone however his friends were still there; you even recognized some of those boys as well. why does it look a little bit like-

"jeezus-"

"what was that?"

"i said "shoeless!"

"Y/N!!!!"

the sudden scream of your name from another man's voice besides dazais caused you both to jump.

you looked to your right, as dazai followed your stare...a boy who rushed over to you with blonde locks and baby blue eyes. he seemed to be in some sort of distress as he got on his knees.

"cody, what are you-"

"i'm so sorry i left you, baby, i was a fool to think i could find someone better!"

dazai was beyond confused as he said nothing but just watch. you glared at the boy who was on his knees; "cody, you cheated on me, and suddenly on your knees begging for me back?"

he nods, grabbing your hands as he looked you in the eye; "you were my everything, and i was stupid to believe i never needed you. I've been a mess without, i've let my hair grow up, i haven't shaved in 8 months, and i'm all alone!!"

"uhm..."

both you and your ex boyfriend looked at dazai who cleared his throat.

"y/n, what ...what is going on?"

before you could respond, cody shouts out; "YOU MOVED ON WITH HIM? what does he have that i don't? oh, OH, your into bandages?"

dazai gave him a "bitch what the fuck" look as he continued; "i can be better then anything he can be to you! i bet he doesn't even know what your favorite ice cream flavor is and got you one you didn't like!!"

"cody, i'm not dating anyone!!!" you blushed furiously, pulling your hand away.

both cody and dazai'a cheeks flushed, however dazai couldn't stop looking at you. 'you can date me' he thought to himself, but was knocked out of his trance as you dragged him away by the arm and said one final goodbye to cody, "your pathetic, cody! leaving me for a bastard who cheated on your ass as well because your a sad, cheating man who has nothing to live for besides eat and sleep all day long! at dazai has a job. you know, your right, he'll be a better boyfriend then you anyday!!"

and with that tou left the weeping man alone with his friends awkwardly standing there, giggling at the incounter that has happened.

as you and dazai got further away, you stopped and sighed. "i'm sorry dazai, that was so awkward! i never thought i'd see him again!" you rubbed your face and looked at the floor, but dazai chuckled and made you look at him.

"it's quite alright, y/n, but...when did you two break up? not that it's any of my buisness, but i had no idea you were even dating!?"

"you seem surprise, you believe a women like me can't pull a lover?"

he froze, "oh-n-no! not at all, i just- you know i just- well you never told-"

you rolled your eyes and punched his arm; "dude i'm kidding!!"

he chuckled, a couple minutes later the two of you decided to walk back home, however he offered to walk you home.

as the lights in yokohama lit up, the moon as set and the streets were quiet.

there was a calm silence as you both walked, the sound of dazais clicking heels caused you to always side eye him and smile. he's never walked you home like this before, he was always so talkative and have something to say.

"did you mean what you said, earlier today?"

ah.

there it was.

"you mean.."

"yeah.."

you smiled to yourself, looking at the floor as you stopped in front of your apartment. "of course i did, i'm sure you would try your hardest to be with the person you love, better then cody!!" you smiled, giving him a hug and waving goodbye.

"bye, dazai! see you at work tomorrow, I better not have to call you again so you won't be late!!" you waved, walking into your apartment.

"goodbye, y/n!" he waved, watching as you entered your apartment and your figure left.

"i love you..."

@justcallmesakira @atsquie @atlasnessie @riiwrites @ruanais @silverbladexyz @pinklacydovey @iisowks @haithamvoid-deactivated20240128

[thewickedjazzy]

⌞𝐖𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰⌝

Part II : 𝙏𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙥𝙚

Pairings: mafia boss!Chuuya x fem!reader

Warnings: angst, super fluff, mention of death, mention of other dimensions, mention of panic attack, mention of cheating, mention of blood, bsd beast spoilers ahead, Let me know if I forgot any!

Author's note: Guess who's back? This part is actually my favourite. It portrays a lot of human emotions. Also, this AU is heavily inspired by bsd beast, so a tw to my fellow dazai kinnes. I'm sorry :(. Hope you enjoy it Xx.

↠Part I

Word count : 6.8k

In an alternate universe, the same pale moonlight bathed the streets of Yokohama. The night was a deep, biting cold as Y/N's shaky breath turned to mist with each exhale, lingering in the air for just a moment before dissipating into the dark. She moved with urgency, her steps quickening as she neared the apartment she shared with Daiki—her boyfriend of two years.

Y/N was no ordinary woman; she was Chuuya Nakahara’s right hand, the most feared member of the Port Mafia. An elegant maneater with a reputation that sent shivers down the spines of even the most hardened criminals, she wielded a powerful ability that made all the mafia members think thrice before talking to her. Her presence alone commanded respect and fear in equal measure, and her beauty was a dangerous allure that concealed the deadly strength beneath.

Yet, as she neared the penthouse, her mind was consumed with thoughts that had nothing to do with power or the underworld she ruled so effortlessly.

Her mind was a whirlwind of denial and disbelief, the echo of doubt gnawing at the edges of her thoughts. This can’t be right, she told herself. Daiki wouldn’t cheat on me. He wouldn’t.

But the morning’s events replayed in her mind, the scene etched vividly into her memory. She had been at her favorite clothing store, browsing through the latest arrivals, the scent of new fabric and soft music soothing her senses. As she approached the cashier to pay, her attention was drawn to a woman nearby, holding up a dress and laughing into her phone. The woman was middle-aged, her voice carrying a tone of flirtatious teasing as she moved closer to the cashier.

Y/N hadn’t meant to listen, but the woman’s words cut through the air like a knife. "Oh, stop it, Daiki. We went two rounds yesterday. Isn’t that enough, babe?"

She froze in place, her heart skipping a beat. Daiki? The name hit her like a jolt of electricity. It was too much of a coincidence, but maybe—just maybe—there was another man with the same name. Her mind clung to that fragile hope, even as her gaze instinctively shifted to the woman’s hand.

And then she saw it—the credit card the woman was holding. Her breath caught in her throat as she recognized the familiar design, the embossed letters spelling out a name she knew too well. Daiki’s card.

A wave of nausea threatened to overwhelm her, but she forced herself to stay calm, to complete her transaction and leave the store without drawing attention. The woman’s laughter still echoed in her ears, each note twisting the knife deeper into her heart.

Now, as Y/N approached the penthouse's apartment, her hand cold from the freezing air as she unlocked the door, pushing it open with a sense of dread. The apartment was quiet, the soft hum of the refrigerator the only sound. She felt a cold, calculated calm settle over her. She knew what she needed to do.

Y/N changed into her usual red silk robe, the fabric cool against her skin, a stark contrast to the heat of her emotions. She poured herself a drink, the amber liquid steadying her nerves as she waited in the dimly lit living room. The silence of the apartment was deafening, every tick of the clock amplifying the tension that hung in the air.

Hours passed before the sound of a key turning in the lock signaled Daiki’s arrival. She didn’t move, her posture relaxed as she sat in the armchair, one leg crossed over the other, the drink held delicately in her hand. She watched as Daiki entered, oblivious at first to the storm he was walking into.

"Y/N, you’re home early," he said, closing the door behind him and setting his bag down. "Everything okay?"

Y/N took a slow sip of her drink, letting the silence stretch between them before she finally spoke. "Daiki," she began, her voice smooth and controlled, "I had an interesting morning today."

He froze, the unease in his eyes growing. "Oh? What happened?"

She swirled the liquid in her glass, her gaze never leaving his. "I was at the store, buying a few things. And I overheard a woman on the phone, talking to someone named Daiki. She was laughing, calling him ‘babe,’ talking about how they went ‘two rounds’ yesterday." Her tone remained calm, almost conversational, but the undercurrent of danger was unmistakable. "Then, I saw the credit card she was holding. It was yours."

Daiki’s face drained of color, his confident facade crumbling under the weight of her words. He opened his mouth to speak, but she held up a hand, stopping him before he could stammer out a lie.

"Don’t," she warned, her voice dropping to a deadly whisper. "I want the truth, Daiki. How long has this been going on?"

He hesitated, knowing there was no escape, no room for deceit. "Six months," he admitted, his voice trembling. "It’s been six months."

Y/N felt the sting of his confession, but she didn’t let it show. Instead, she leaned back in her chair, her expression one of detached curiosity. "Six months," she repeated, her tone laced with a hint of mockery. "And you thought I wouldn’t find out? You thought you could keep lying to me, coming home to me every night, and I’d just go on believing everything was fine?"

Daiki flinched, the realization of his mistake written all over his face. "Y/N, I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I just…"

"You just what?" Y/N cut him off, her eyes narrowing. "Got bored? Wanted something new and exciting? Tell me, Daiki, did you think of me at all during these last six months? Or was I just the convenient one—the one you could always come back to when you were done with your little adventures?"

Daiki lowered his gaze to the wooden floor, " It was a mistake...I didn't- "

Y/N's scoff cut him off, "A mistake is when you leave the food out of the refrigerator overnight. But cheating? For months? No, it takes too much... too much lying, sneaking around, and screwing around to be a mistake."

He swallowed hard, his guilt evident. "It wasn’t like that," he pleaded, but the desperation in his voice only fueled her anger.

"Then what was it like?" she demanded, her calm exterior cracking just enough to let her fury shine through. "Tell me, Daiki, how does it feel to know that you’ve lost everything—because that’s what’s happened. You’ve lost me."

Daiki took a step toward her, but she remained unmoved, her gaze icy. "Don’t come any closer," she warned, her voice cold and commanding. "You’re not going to talk your way out of this. We’re done."

The finality in her tone left no room for argument. Daiki stopped in his tracks, his shoulders slumping in defeat. He looked at her, a mixture of regret and sorrow in his eyes, but she was unmoved. She had made her decision, and there was no going back.

"Pack your things," she said calmly, setting her glass down on the table beside her. "And be gone by morning. I don’t want to see you again."

With those words, she rose from the chair, her movements graceful and deliberate. She walked past him without a second glance, heading to the bedroom where she would lock the door behind her, shutting out the man who had betrayed her so deeply.

As she closed the door, Y/N leaned against it for a moment, the reality of what had just happened washing over her. The calm she had maintained began to slip away, replaced by the ache of betrayal and the hollow emptiness left in its wake. But she refused to let herself crumble. Not yet. Not when there was still so much to be done.

The next morning, Y/N arrived at the Port Mafia headquarters, her usual poise and grace firmly in place, though beneath it all, a hollow ache had settled in her chest. She moved through her tasks mechanically, her mind a whirlwind of betrayal and sadness that she tried desperately to push away.

Chuuya watched her from across the room, his sharp eyes missing nothing. He had known her for years, had seen her in battle, had watched her navigate the treacherous waters of their world with a confidence that few could match. But today, something was different. Her movements were precise, but lacked the usual fluidity; her gaze was distant, as if she were somewhere else entirely.

When the meeting ended, Chuuya lingered, his concern deepening as she made to leave without a word. "Y/N," he called out, his voice cutting through the quiet.

She paused, turning to face him. "Yes, boss?"

He approached her, his expression serious. "You’re not yourself today. What happened?"

Y/N hesitated, the truth heavy on her tongue. But Chuuya’s steady gaze, his unspoken support, broke through her defences. "I found out Daiki’s been cheating on me," She confessed, her voice strained. "For six months."

Chuuya’s eyes darkened with anger, his fists clenching at his sides. "That bastard."

"I don’t want to talk about it," Y/N said quickly, not wanting to dwell on the pain. "I just want to work."

But Chuuya wasn’t willing to let it go so easily. "You deserve better," he said softly, the intensity of his feelings clear in his voice. "Don’t let him take anything more from you."

Y/N met his gaze, and for a moment, the weight of her hurt eased, replaced by a warmth she hadn’t expected. "Thank you, boss," she murmured, her voice slightly above a whisper.

As she turned to leave, Chuuya’s voice stopped her once more. "Remember, Y/N—whatever happens, I’ve got your back."

She nodded, a small, genuine smile tugging at her lips despite the pain still lingering in her heart. "I know," she said, and with that, she walked away, her steps a little lighter, knowing she wasn’t alone.

Chuuya Nakahara had not always been the leader of the Port Mafia. There was a time when he served under Dazai Osamu, the enigmatic and powerful boss whose ability to nullify others’ abilities had been a cornerstone of the mafia’s strength. But Dazai was more than just a boss to Chuuya; even though he used to despise Dazai's carefree attitude, nevertheless he still considered him as a friend, a partner who understood the burden of Chuuya’s cursed power—Arahabaki, the god of destruction that lived within him.

Dazai’s ability, No Longer Human, was the only thing that could stop Chuuya’s corruption form—a state of near-unlimited power that came with a steep price: the loss of his humanity. In his corruption form, Chuuya became a force of destruction, but without Dazai to nullify his power, he risked being consumed by it completely.

When Dazai died, Chuuya was left with a void that no one could fill. The responsibility of leading the Port Mafia fell to him, and with it, the fear of what might happen if his corruption ever went unchecked. But there was one person who could offer a solution—Y/N.

Y/N’s ability, 'Malevolent Marionette', was unlike anything Chuuya had ever encountered. By touching someone, she could create a replica of them—a puppet under her control. But it wasn’t just any puppet; it was a copy that mirrored the original in every way, down to their abilities. And if she destroyed the puppet, the original would suffer the same fate.

Before Dazai’s death, Chuuya and Y/N had trained together, testing the limits of her ability. The goal was simple yet terrifying: to see if she could create a replica of Chuuya’s corruption form and destroy it, thereby breaking the cycle of destruction without killing him. It was a risky, dangerous experiment, one that required absolute trust between them.

Chuuya’s eyes were locked on Y/N, a mix of skepticism and trust evident in his gaze.

“Alright, Y/N. You’re sure you can handle this? I don’t want to end up wrecking the whole place.”

Y/N gave him a steady look, “I’ve trained for this, Chuuya. I’m confident in my ability.”

Dazai, standing with his usual relaxed demeanor, glanced between them with a hint of a smirk. “Just make sure to not repeat what happened. Last time you nearly brought the entire building down."

Chuuya scoffed crossing his arms and shooting him a death glare. “Like I need you to remind me. I’m perfectly aware of the risks.”

Dazai’s grin widened. “Just making sure. You know how you can be.”

Chuuya’s eyes narrowed. “And you know how you can be. Always acting like this is some kind of joke.”

“Come on, Chuuya,” Dazai said with an exaggerated sigh. “It’s not every day we get to see you in a vulnerable state. I’m just here to make sure things don’t get out of hand.”

" Shut your mouth! " Chuuya grumbled, his irritation barely concealed as he sighed again taking off his leather gloves, “O’ grantors of dark disgrace,” he incanted, his voice resonating with an eerie gravitas, “do not wake me up again.”

In an instant, Chuuya’s corruption form took over, his body transforming into a terrifying visage of dark energy and raw power. the marks of Arahabaki on his body seem to burn his skin like hell and rip apart his flesh to blood.

Dazai’s ability was their safeguard, ready to nullify the dangerous corruption if Y/N’s replica wasn’t enough.

Y/N took her position, her focus unwavering as she approached him. She extended her hand managing to touch him, the air around her shimmering with the power of her ability. Her goal was to create a replica of Chuuya’s corruption form—a copy that would mimic the original’s abilities but could be destroyed without harming Chuuya himself.

As the replica began to take shape, Chuuya’s corruption form roared with fury, as Y/N was pushed to the ground but her focus still remained as the replica of Chuuya’s corruption form fully materialized, a dark twin of the original, its power radiating with a terrifying intensity. Y/N maneuvered carefully, her control over the replica precise as she prepared to destroy it.

Dazai watched with a keen eye, ready to intervene if necessary. “Remember, Y/N,” he said calmly, “the key is to separate his consciousness from the corruption.”

"Ugh, shut up, boss... I can do this," Y/N growled as she focused on the replica. She could feel the pressure mounting, the weight of responsibility heavy on her shoulders.

In a sudden burst of light, the replica began to disintegrate, its form unraveling into wisps of dark energy that evaporated into nothingness.

As the light faded, she collapsed to the ground, her body trembling from the exertion. A warm trickle ran down from her nose—blood, a sign that she had pushed herself too far. But she had done it.

Chuuya, now freed from the grasp of his corruption form, staggered backward, his legs giving out beneath him. His breathing was ragged, each breath a struggle as he tried to gather his strength. Finally, with a groan, he collapsed to the floor, his usual appearance restored. He glanced over at Y/N, his expression a mix of relief and exhaustion.

"Fuck... that was...unexpected yet quick." he managed to rasp out, his breaths shallow and uneven. He barely had time to register what had happened before he succumbed to his exhaustion, slipping into unconsciousness.

Y/N, despite her own fatigue, couldn’t help but chuckle softly at his words. She pushed herself up, her legs shaky, and made her way over to where Chuuya lay. Gently, she knelt beside him, her fingers brushing lightly over his face, smoothing back his disheveled hair. There was something tender in the way she touched him.

Dazai, who had been watching the entire scene unfold with his usual detached amusement, approached them both, his smirk widening into a grin. "You’re one hell of a woman, Y/N," he remarked, his tone laced with admiration as he knelt beside her.

Together, they lifted Chuuya’s unconscious form, each of them bearing the weight of the man they had both come to care for in their own ways. As they began to carry him out of the training room, the tension that had filled the air slowly dissipated, replaced by a quiet, shared understanding.

They succeeded. Time and time again, Y/N managed to create a replica of Arahabaki, separating the god’s consciousness from Chuuya’s own. And each time, when she destroyed the replica, Chuuya returned to his normal state, free from the corruption that threatened to consume him.

In those moments, Chuuya entrusted Y/N with his life, and she never once let him down. The bond they formed through those trials was unbreakable, forged in the crucible of life and death.

Now, as Chuuya watched Y/N walk away, he couldn’t help but think of those moments—the times when they had fought side by side, each trusting the other with everything they had. He owed her more than he could ever repay, and the thought of her in pain filled him with a deep, protective instinct.

Y/N might have been betrayed by Daiki, but Chuuya would never betray her. He would stand by her, as she had always stood by him, through the trials and tribulations that came with their dangerous lives.

The day went by just as usual as her shift came to its end she went back to her penthouse, pushing open the door to her apartment that she once shared with Daiki.

The silence of the space pressing in on her as she stepped inside, it's the first night without him. She leaned back against the door, her fingers lingering on the lock for a moment before she turned it, shutting out the world behind her. The ache in her chest hadn’t lessened, but she refused to let it show. But since she's in the solitude of her own home, she felt comfortable to let it out just for a bit.

She moved through the apartment with mechanical precision, slipping out of her clothes and into a burgundy nightgown. The fabric was soft against her skin, but it brought little comfort. Her mind was still spinning, replaying the events of the day over and over, each memory like a fresh wound.

Pouring herself a glass of wine, Y/N made her way to the living room. The city lights outside her window cast a dim glow across the space, but it did nothing to lift the heaviness in her heart. She settled onto the couch, the glass of wine in her hand, and reached for the remote.

She flicked through her music library until she found what she was looking for—Lost on You by LP. The opening chords filled the room, the haunting melody wrapping around her like a shroud. Y/N closed her eyes, letting the music wash over her, each note resonating with the sorrow she had been holding back.

As the song played on, Y/N felt the tears she had been fighting all day begin to well up. She tried to hold them back, tried to maintain the composure that had seen her through so much. But here, alone in the dark, there was no reason to pretend. The first tear slipped down her cheek, followed by another, and then another, until she was crying in earnest, the weight of the day’s revelations finally breaking through her defenses.

Her mascara streaked her face, black tears mingling with the clear ones as they fell. She took a sip of her wine, the bitter taste matching the bitterness in her heart, and let herself cry. The music swelled around her, LP’s voice echoing her pain, and for a moment, she allowed herself to be vulnerable.

It was then that she heard it—a knock at the door, faint at first, then louder. Y/N froze, her breath catching in her throat as she wiped at her eyes, smearing the mascara further. She wasn’t expecting anyone, and the idea of facing someone in her current state made her hesitate. But the knocking continued, insistent, and finally, she rose from the couch, setting her glass down with a shaky hand.

Chuuya stood on the other side, his eyes swept over her, taking in the burgundy nightgown she wore and the tracks of mascara staining her cheeks. Despite the sadness in her eyes, there was a fierce beauty about her that made his breath catch.

“Chuuya?” Y/N’s voice was barely a whisper, thick with emotion.

He gave her a small, almost hesitant smile, one that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I heard the music from the hallway,” he said, his tone light, but his gaze serious. “It’s pretty loud, you know. Also...LP? Seriously?”

Y/N managed a weak chuckle, though it was more of a broken sound than anything else. She looked down at herself, suddenly feeling exposed and vulnerable in a way she wasn’t used to. "It’s fitting for the mood."

He chuckled softly, his gaze never leaving hers. "Yeah, I can see that."

"I'm sorry, I didn't expect anyone to show up.." She says with a crack in her voice.

Chuuya shook his head, his expression softening further. “You don’t have to apologize.” He paused, searching her eyes. “Can I come in?”

For a moment, Y/N hesitated. Letting Chuuya in meant letting him see her like this, letting him into the part of her life she usually kept hidden behind walls of strength and control. But as she looked into his eyes, she saw nothing but concern, nothing but a genuine desire to be there for her.

She stepped aside, opening the door wider. “Of course.”

Chuuya entered, closing the door gently behind him. The music was still playing, LP’s voice a backdrop to the quiet tension between them. He glanced around the apartment, noting the half-empty bottle of wine on the table, the discarded clothes on the floor, the general disarray that was so unlike her.

Y/N made her way back to the couch, sinking down onto it with a sigh. She picked up her glass, taking another sip as she tried to steady herself. Chuuya followed her, sitting down beside her, his presence a comforting warmth against the chill in her heart.

For a moment, neither of them spoke. The music played on, filling the silence with its melancholy melody. Finally, Chuuya broke the silence, his voice gentle. “Hey… I’m sorry.”

She glanced at him, her eyes still glistening with unshed tears. “For what?”

“For what he did to you,” Chuuya replied, his voice tinged with anger. “You didn’t deserve that. You deserve so much more.”

Y/N looked away, her gaze fixed on the glass in her hand. “I don’t know what I deserve anymore,” she admitted, her voice barely audible. “I thought I had everything figured out. I thought… I thought he loved me.”

Chuuya’s hand found hers, his touch warm and grounding. “He’s a fool,” he said firmly. “A complete idiot for not seeing what he had.”

She felt a fresh wave of tears threatening to spill over, but she swallowed them back, not wanting to break down again. “Thank you, Chuuya,” she whispered. “I… I just don’t know how to move on from this.”

He squeezed her hand gently, his voice low and steady. “You don’t have to figure it out right now. Just take it one step at a time. And know that you don’t have to do it alone.”

Y/N finally looked at him, her eyes searching his for something she couldn’t quite name. In that moment, she saw the depth of his care for her, the strength of the bond they had built over years of fighting side by side. It wasn’t just about loyalty or duty—it was something more, something that neither of them had ever put into words.

“Why are you here, Chuuya?” she asked softly, her voice trembling slightly.

"I was worried about you. I had to check on you." Chuuya said softly, his voice carrying a warmth that soothed her frayed nerves.

"You didnt have to." She says softly her voice barely above a whisper.

" Oh shut up!" A faint smile curved his lips, though there was a hint of sadness in his eyes.

Chuuya watched her silently taking in the sight of her hurting, of her trying to drown her pain in wine, ignited something deep within him—a fierce protectiveness, mingled with an ache that he had tried to suppress for so long. It ate at him, knowing that someone else had caused her this pain. He felt a primal urge to make things right. She was supposed to be safe and cherished, not suffering from the betrayal of someone so unworthy.

Y/N’s eyes were locked on the glass in her hands, her fingers tracing the rim absentmindedly. After a while she reached for her phone as she scrolled through her social media accounts, her hands trembling as she navigated to Daiki’s profile. Her intention was simple—block him, sever the last connection to the pain he had caused her. But as she refreshed the page, her heart dropped when she saw a new post.

There, in stark contrast to her own anguish, was Daiki, smiling broadly next to the woman he had been cheating on her with. They were holding up their hands, showing off engagement rings that gleamed with an almost mocking brilliance. The caption was a blur of words that Y/N couldn’t even bring herself to read.

Y/N’s vision blurred with fresh tears, and her hands began to tremble uncontrollably. The room seemed to spin around her as panic surged through her. Her breath came in short, ragged gasps as she struggled to process the sight of them celebrating a future she had once imagined for herself.

Chuuya, still seated beside her, noticed the sudden change in her demeanor immediately. He turned his head just in time to see the post on her screen. His expression darkened with fury, but his primary concern was Y/N’s distress. He reached out, his voice urgent and soothing. “Y/N, what’s wrong? Talk to me.”

Her hands shook letting her phone drop off, she clutched her hands to her chest, her breaths coming in frantic, uneven bursts. “I—I can’t… I can’t breathe…”

Chuuya immediately moved closer, his concern intensifying. He guided her to lean back against the couch, trying to calm her. “Look at me, Y/N. Focus on me. Breathe with me, okay?”

He took slow, deep breaths, trying to match his breathing with hers to help regulate her panic. “Inhale deeply through your nose… hold it for a second… and then exhale slowly through your mouth.”

Y/N’s vision was clouded by tears, her body trembling uncontrollably. “It’s too much… I can’t…”

Without hesitation, he pulled her to sit up again and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. “Shh, it’s okay. Just breathe, Y/N. I’m here.”

She buried her face in his chest, her sobs coming out in choked, disjointed gasps. “How… how could he?” she muttered between breaths, her voice barely coherent. “How could he do this to me?”

Chuuya gently rubbed her back, his lips pressing a soft kiss to her temple in an attempt to soothe her. “Hey, dont think about this now. Breathe 'kay?”

Y/N’s breaths remained erratic, her chest rising and falling unevenly as she clung to Chuuya. The pain in her eyes was a stark contrast to his calm demeanor, but his steady presence seemed to anchor her amidst the turmoil.

Chuuya kept his voice soft and reassuring, his hand gently stroking her back. “You’re safe here. Focus on me 'kay? Inhale through your nose… hold it… now exhale slowly.”

He continued the breathing exercise, his own breaths deep and measured, hoping to guide her through the panic. His heart ached seeing her so distraught, and every tremor of her body felt like a piercing ache through his own.

Y/N’s sobs began to lessen, though she still trembled in his arms. “Why does it hurt so much?” she whispered, her voice breaking.

Chuuya’s grip tightened around her, his tone filled with a protective intensity. “Because you loved him, and he betrayed that love. It’s okay to hurt. But you’re strong, and you’ll get through this. You have to believe that.”

Her breathing started to steady as she focused on his words and the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest. “Thank you, Chuuya,” she murmured, her voice muffled against him. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Chuuya gently kissed her temple again, his voice firm but tender. “You’ll never have to find out. I'm here. I’ll stay with you through this, and I’ll help you get through it, 'kay?”

Y/N nodded weakly, her grip on Chuuya’s shirt loosening as her breathing grew more even. “Okay,” she whispered, her voice still fragile but steadier.

He gently stroked her hair, offering her the silent comfort of his presence. The tears that had been pouring from her eyes now slowed to a trickle, her breathing gradually returning to a more regular rhythm.

Y/N pulled back slightly, her eyes still red and puffy but holding a glimmer of embarrassment. " This is embarrassing... I never break down in front of anyone... not even Daiki. "

He brushed a strand of hair from her face, his gaze steady. “ You don't have to be embarrassed dumbass." He couldn’t help but smile softly as he saw her let out a faint chuckle. “We all have our inner battles and struggles.”

She smiled and rested her head on his chest, taking deep breaths. Chuuya wrapped his arms around her, holding her close as she found solace in his steady presence.

Chuuya's days revolved around Y/N in a comforting routine. Despite his position as the mafia boss, he made sure to take time each morning to prepare her favorite coffee, carefully brewing it just the way she liked. He would also bake her the special cookies she adored, often leaving them on her desk with a note that read, “For the most amazing right-hand.”

Y/N appreciated these gestures deeply. Even though her stoic exterior rarely cracked, the little things Chuuya did never failed to make her smile and blush. She kept these feelings to herself, unsure if he reciprocated her affection. It was clear he cared for her deeply, but whether it was the same kind of love she felt remained a mystery.

Three months had passed since Daiki’s betrayal, and though Y/N had made significant progress in healing, her heart could not ignore the way Chuuya’s unwavering care and support had become a cornerstone of her recovery. Unbeknownst to her, Chuuya had taken his own actions to ensure Daiki’s suffering, sending the Black Lizard to ruin Daiki and his new fiancée's engagement party as a silent retribution. But he kept this from Y/N, choosing to focus on her well-being rather than the vengeance he sought.

It was a usual Friday evening as Chuuya and Y/N were seated in his office, their usual conversation flowing easily. The office was a haven of tranquility, away from the chaos of the outside world. Chuuya leaned back in his chair, watching Y/N with a soft smile as she recounted a particularly amusing incident from their recent mission.

Suddenly, the door to his office burst open, and Akutagawa rushed in, panting heavily. His usual calm demeanor was replaced by visible panic. “Boss! Y/N! There’s something happening in Yokohama. It’s—”

Hirotsu took a deep breath, struggling to regain his composure. “It’s a tripolar singularity. We’ve never seen anything like it. It’s causing massive destruction in the city center.”

Chuuya’s expression shifted instantly from calm to intense focus. “A singularity? What the hell is going on in Yokohama?”

“It appeared out of nowhere,” Hirotsu explained, his voice tight with urgency. “It’s unleashing some kind of beast or force. The situation is escalating rapidly.”

Y/N stood up, her expression shifting to one of determination. “Fuck! We need to deal with this now. If it’s causing that much destruction, only us can handle it.”

Chuuya nodded, his gaze meeting Y/N’s with a fierce resolve. “You’re right. We need to act quickly. Hirtosu-san, assemble the Black Lizard and get to the heart of the disturbance. Do not engage!! Just wait for us, we will join you shortly.”

Hirotsu nodded sharply, already turning to leave. “Understood, Boss. We’ll move out immediately.”

Y/N exhaled, rubbing her temple. “I have a bad feeling about this…”

As Y/N and Chuuya made their way through the chaos, the sight that greeted them at the center of the disturbance was unlike anything they had ever encountered. The tripolar singularity loomed ominously in the air, casting an eerie light over the battlefield. Amid the swirling energy and debris stood the divine creature—a figure cloaked in an otherworldly aura, partially hidden by a white sheet adorned with black symbols, and fabric ribbons fluttering in the wind. The creature’s face was obscured, and its presence radiated a chilling lack of emotion.

Y/N's heart sank as she took in the scene before her. The Black Lizard lay scattered and bleeding, their faces twisted in pain and shock. The sheer devastation was overwhelming, and the sight of their fallen comrades brought tears of frustration to her eyes.

"No way-" Her voice cracked struggling to maintain her composure.

Chuuya’s jaw tightened, his eyes narrowing as he assessed the situation. He turned to Y/N, his expression serious. “I need you to focus. We’re going to have to act quickly if we’re going to have any chance of stopping this.”

He was already formulating a plan, but it was a risky one. Chuuya knew that the creature was not just any opponent—it was a force of nature, and their usual strategies might not be enough. He needed to buy Y/N the time she required to confront the creature directly.

“Y/N,” Chuuya began, his voice steady despite the danger. “I’m going to draw its attention away from you. You’ll need to get close enough to touch it and use your ability.”

Y/N’s eyes widened. “What are you talking about? We need a better plan than that!”

“I don’t have time to explain every detail,” Chuuya said firmly, his expression resolute. “Trust me. Just be ready to act when I give the signal.”

Before Y/N could protest further, Chuuya took a deep breath and made a decision that he knew could be fatal.

With a determined look, he stepped forward and muttered the incantation he knew all too well, “O' grantors of dark disgrace. Do not wake me up again.”

Immediately, he began to transform into his corruption form. The familiar surge of power and dark energy enveloped him, and the change was instantaneous. His eyes burned with an intense, fiery white glow, and his presence became both awe-inspiring and terrifying.

Y/N’s heart raced as she watched him, realizing what he was about to do. “No, Chuuya, don’t—”

But it was too late. Chuuya was already moving towards the creature, his corruption form radiating a menacing energy. He engaged the divine being, drawing its focus away from Y/N by shooting black holes towards him. The creature seemed momentarily intrigued by the sudden, overwhelming presence, shifting its attention toward Chuuya.

As the battle intensified, Y/N knew she had to act quickly. She could see Chuuya’s determination clear as day. With a heavy heart and tears blurring her vision, she prepared herself to use her ability. She focused on the creature, gathering her strength and steeling her resolve. Chuuya was putting everything on the line for her, and she couldn’t let him down, maybe if she acted fast enough she could save him. Only if she can master her ability and manage to create two replicas at the same time. But it was impossible, even if she wanted to put it into test, she couldn't move all the way and touch Chuuya before destroying the creature, he'd kill them both.

The battle raged on, the creature’s power clashing with Chuuya’s corrupted form. Y/N moved with urgency, dodging debris and managing to touch the creature, using her ability to create a replica of the divine being. She had to destroy it before Arahabaki takes over Chuuya completely. Every second felt like an eternity as she concentrated on her task, hoping that Chuuya’s gamble would not end in tragedy.

Y/N’s heart raced as she struggled with the replica of the tripolar singularity. Its strength was overwhelming, and for a moment, it seemed like it might overpower her. But she focused, channeling all her energy and resolve into destroying it. With a final surge of power, she shattered the replica into pieces, the divine being vanishing in a burst of light.

She dashed toward Chuuya, her breath coming in ragged gasps. The sight that met her eyes was devastating—Chuuya’s corruption form had taken a tremendous toll on his body. No wonder that his inner organs were damaged by now, he was barely holding on. Tears streamed down her face as she touched him, creating a replica of his Arahabaki form. She destroyed it with all her strength, hoping it would be enough.

But it was too late. The damage was done. Chuuya’s body lay on the ground, blood pooling around him. Y/N’s vision blurred with tears, and her own strength began to falter from the strain of overusing her ability. She cradled Chuuya’s face, her voice trembling as she tried to comfort him.

"No no no no no" she shook her head tears streaming down soaking her cheeks , her voice breaking, “Chuuya, you’re going to make it. You have to hold on.”

Chuuya’s hand weakly reached up to touch her cheek, “Y/N… you did well,” he murmured, his voice barely more than a whisper. “I—” He struggled to continue, his strength fading. “I’ve loved you… for so long... I'm sorry it was the only way to save you—”

The confession was barely audible, but it cut through the chaos like a knife. Tears poured freely from Y/N’s eyes as she held him close, her heart aching with the weight of his words and the gravity of the moment. Chuuya’s hand fell from her face, his strength giving out. He closed his eyes, his breathing slowing until it ceased.

A guttural scream tore from Y/N’s throat, a raw expression of grief and despair. She had lost him—everything she had fought for, everything she had loved. Her world shattered around her as she clung to him, her heartbroken cries echoing through the devastation.

Y/N’s world spun as she lost consciousness, the weight of her grief and the toll of her powers overwhelming her. The last thing she felt was the cold, lifeless form of Chuuya in her arms, the pain of his absence like a searing wound in her heart.

Minutes later, she stirred, the oppressive darkness of the battlefield replaced by a blinding light. Groaning softly, she tried to open her eyes, only to be met with an overwhelming radiance that made her eyes squint painfully. Slowly, she adjusted, her blurred vision focusing on the sight of Chuuya’s lifeless body still resting in her arms. Her tears began to flow anew, each drop a testament to the depth of her sorrow.

The light grew more intense, and she noticed a rift opening before her, a swirling vortex that seemed to pulse with otherworldly energy. The rift beckoned, its ethereal glow contrasting sharply with the stark reality of Chuuya’s death.

With trembling hands, Y/N placed a soft, lingering kiss on Chuuya’s cold forehead, her heart breaking with each tender touch. “Goodbye, boss,” she whispered through her tears, her voice choked with grief. "I'll always love you."

She gently laid his body down, her fingers brushing his hair one last time as she prepared to step through the rift. The light beckoned her, a beacon in the midst of her despair. Taking a deep breath, she slowly walked through it, her body and mind exhausted from the emotional and physical toll. Why is she doing this? She has no idea, but if this rift is connected to the tripolar singularity by any means, then she'll finally figure things out.

The world around her seemed to warp and shift, and she found herself emerging into a new, unfamiliar realm. It was a lush, verdant forest bathed in soft, dappled moonlight. The air was filled with the soothing sounds of nature, a stark contrast to the devastation she had just witnessed.

As she moved through the rift, her eyes fell upon a figure standing in the clearing. It was him—Chuuya. He was dressed in slightly different attire, but it was unmistakably him. He stood there, his gaze locked onto her, his expression a mix of shock and disbelief.

Y/N’s breath caught in her throat as she took in the sight of him. Her legs felt weak, her emotions swirling in a storm of confusion and hope.

"Boss?" they both exclaimed simultaneously, their voices echoing the confusion and recognition that filled their hearts.

A/N: Ayo!! I can't express how much fun it was to write this part. I am silently crying over Chuuya's death, but it is for the plot 🙂‍↕️. I'll post part three next week fingers crossed that the angst will be over by then cause my heart is shattered.

➵Want more of Chuuya Nakahara ?

[themellowminx]

After the Fire Dies ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹ MDNI

———-> fyodor x reader x dazai

You made a mistake, how will you repent?

< After the actual smut, but still suggestive content, not proof read >

“S-seven…” You could hardly feel anymore, sweat clung to your body and your breaths came in panting gasps, all you could think about was how bad you had fucked up, was that really only a few hours ago? When Dazai was holding you so tightly, gripping you in all the right places. But now, your blood dripped from the slim slashes across your thighs and stained the white bedsheets, you struggled against your restraints, straining your arm to push the silky, black, blindfold off your eyes.

“So, malishka,” You could hear the grin in his smooth voice as he teased you with that special pet name, baby, not slut, or whore, but baby. He knew you’d get it wrong. You were almost certain that even if you did guess right, they wouldn't stop. “Who was touching you just now? Who made you cum?” Sucking in as much air as possible, limbs heavy, nose stuffed and tears streaked your poor, flushed face.

“You–Fedya.” A self-satisfied hmm came from one of them, you guess Dazai by the tone. Instantly you regretted your decision. ‘Wait–actually–”

“Too late, you already made a choice.” Dazai was speaking now, his voice lacked the accent that you loved so much, but still carried such a lustful melody. Suddenly the blindfold was slowly peeled off and you squinted your tear-filled eyes to the destroyed bedroom. Frantically looking at your lover, Fyodor, for approval, you were met with both men smirking down at you. So pretty. They were both so beautiful, where Fedya was slim angles and sharp bones, pale skin and striking, sharp eyes, Dazai was stronger, softer, still lean but bigger, not as deathly-pale and a mop of curly brown hair with matching honey eyes. They made a lovely pair, and had ruined you beyond comprehension.

“Ding ding ding!” Dazai sang out, hopping on the bed next to you.

“Good job malishka, how’d you know?” You guessed correctly? Finally! Honestly part of it was dumb luck but…

“You get…when you get tired you get softer, and you also kept licking the blood from my thighs, I figured Dazai would do that too but he’s inclined to be more–well–rough.” You looked down sheepishly. Fyodor pat your head and undid the restraints on your wrists and ankles, now you realized just how exposed you had been. A puddle of liquid, cum and spit and sweat and blood, was layered on every inch of your skin. Both of them started peppering kisses along your flesh, prickled with chills yet still overheated, a kiss to the collarbone by one man, a peck in between your breasts from another, they continued and Fyodor eventually went to fetch a warm cloth.

“What did we learn malishka?” Fyodor asked you later that night, Dazai in deep-sleep on the other side of the bed, still in the aftershock of their tortuous play-time, you trembled slightly against Fyodor's bare chest.

“I’m never going to sleep with another person–”

“No, say it exactly.”

“I-I am never going to cheat on you…” You looked back up at him for guidance.

“With Dazai,” He guided your words.

“Cheat on you with Dazai, or anyone else, ever again. I only want–need–you, Fedya.” He hummed at your confession. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Y/n.” He replied simply, and you drifted off into sleep, body aching and face tear-stained and salty, still naked, but warm and so, so full

ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹ thx for reading! :)