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Bad Things

Su-Bong "Thanos",, Squid Games

Summary: Su-Bong "Thanos" x Fem¡Reader,, Su-Bong was never the type to commit to any person until he met (Y/n), a genius who somehow ended up in a strip club as a stripper, who had him head over heels.

TW: SW,, Drugs/Substance Abuse,, Pregnancy,, Mentions o/Sex

Based off the song "Bad Things" by MGK and Camila C.

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The strip club was a chaotic haven, a world where smoke thickened the air, neon lights buzzed overhead, and the thumping bass of electronic music rattled the walls. Su-Bong “Thanos” leaned against the bar, nursing a glass of something half-empty, his eyes glazed over with that signature combination of too many substances and too little sleep. His hair was disheveled, his clothes slightly wrinkled, and his vibe… well, Thanos was never the type to blend in anywhere. A rapper, a wannabe genius, and a druggie all rolled into one package, Su-Bong was content with drifting through life in a haze of poorly thought-out decisions.

“Yo, bartender!” he shouted randomly, slapping the bar with a bit too much enthusiasm for someone in his state. “Another drink! And make it stronger than my future.”

The bartender didn’t even bother looking up, too used to Su-Bong’s antics by now. It was a regular scene. But tonight, something was different—something caught his eye, and it wasn’t the cheap whiskey.

Su-Bong sat at the bar, slouched in his chair with a cigarette hanging from his lips and a bottle of cheap liquor in his hand. He hadn’t been in the club long, but he’d been watching you since you stepped on stage. There was something about the way you carried yourself—flirtatious, confident, and so unbothered by the eyes that drank you in—that captivated him.

He was used to being the one to draw attention, used to having people beg for a glimpse of his charisma and arrogance. But tonight? Tonight, it was all about you. His gaze never left your form as you spun around the pole, your movements fluid and graceful. It was an art form. And for the first time in a long while, he felt something—something that wasn’t the typical numbness.

The crowd was loving it, but you weren’t here to please them. You were here for the thrill, for the fun of it. You loved teasing the men who couldn’t take their eyes off of you, knowing full well the power you held over them. Tonight, your eyes kept drifting toward Su-Bong, and each time, you shot him a knowing smile. It was like a game to you—one that you were winning effortlessly.

You slipped into your jacket and took a deep breath. The night was chilly, the cool air cutting through the alleyway as you stepped outside. The buzz of the city surrounded you as you walked towards your car, trying to ignore the slight buzz of discomfort that always seemed to cling to you when you were alone after hours.

That was when you heard it.

A voice, low and threatening, cut through the stillness. “Hey, sweetheart. Got a minute?”

You froze.

Turning slowly, your stomach twisted in on itself. The man was unkempt, his face half-hidden in the shadows. His eyes were wild, unblinking, and in his hand was a knife—shiny, too clean, and terrifying. It glinted in the dim light as he stepped forward, his hand shaking slightly, but his grip firm.

You instinctively took a step back, your heart hammering in your chest. “W-what do you want?” you stammered, trying to sound calm, but your voice wavered.

“Your purse. Now,” he growled, his voice harsh, almost panicked. He waved the knife in the air, and your breath hitched.

You didn’t know what to do. Every instinct screamed at you to run, but the knife—that knife—kept you rooted to the spot. The last thing you needed was to make a move that would escalate things. The cold steel of it glinted as it hovered in the dim light, and your mind raced for any possible escape.

“I’m not looking for trouble,” you tried again, keeping your hands in view, not wanting to provoke him. “I’ll give you the purse, okay? Just… please, don’t hurt me.”

The man’s laugh was jagged, desperate. “I don’t want your purse, lady. I want something more.” His eyes flickered over you, and you could see the hunger in them, the desperation. It made your skin crawl.

Before the man could react, a figure appeared in the alleyway, silhouetted by the dim glow of the club’s lights. It was fast, and you didn’t even have time to process it before the man was flat on his back, groaning in pain.

You blinked, staring at the stranger who stood over the would-be mugger, his clothes unkempt and his posture… well, ridiculous. He had an aura of unpredictability around him, a weird mix of confidence and complete absurdity.

“You alright, lady?” the man asked, his voice sounding slightly slurred, but still strangely endearing. His hand was extended toward you, the other still hanging loosely by his side. You raised an eyebrow as you looked him over.

He had messy hair, a leather jacket that probably hadn’t seen a wash in weeks, and a pair of sunglasses that were clearly meant for the daytime. But there was something familiar about him. Then it clicked. His voice, his swagger—this was Su-Bong “Thanos,” the rapper and druggie who made the rounds in the local scene. You’d heard his name a million times in the clubs, but you’d never seen him in person before.

“Wait a minute,” you smirked, narrowing your eyes as you took in the sight of him. “You’re that rapper idiot, right? Thanos, isn’t it? The one who’s always high off his own ego?”

Su-Bong grinned, looking you up and down like he was sizing you up, his eyes twinkling with a mix of amusement and charm. “Yo, yeah, that’s me. You… you’re the dancer from the club, right?” He paused, his grin growing wider. “Damn, girl, I swear I’ve seen you shake it on stage before. You’re fire.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. His ridiculousness was contagious. “I’m flattered, but, uh, do you always save people by randomly throwing people around like that?” you asked, gesturing to the unconscious guy still twitching on the ground.

“Nah, just when it’s fun,” Su-Bong shrugged nonchalantly, then added with a cheeky grin, “And when they’re annoying me.”

“Uh-huh,” you smirked, feeling the heat rise in your chest. You didn’t usually let anyone get this close to you, especially not after hours when you just wanted to get home and crash, but there was something about his cocky attitude that made it hard to look away. “Well, thanks for the rescue, ‘Thanos.’ I guess I owe you one.”

He leaned in closer, clearly trying to be dramatic, his voice dropping to a more serious tone that somehow didn’t match his demeanor at all. “You don’t owe me anything, babe. I just couldn’t stand to see you get robbed. Not when you’re looking so… distracting.”

You raised an eyebrow, a smirk playing at the corner of your lips. “Flattery will get you everywhere. But I’m not about to sleep with you just because you knocked out some loser. Nice try though.”

Su-Bong let out a loud laugh, making the whole alleyway seem a little brighter. “Damn, you’re just as fire off-stage as you are on. I like you, (Y/n). I really do. You got that… confidence. I respect that.”

You shrugged, your hands tucked in your jacket pockets. “You don’t get very far without it. And clearly, you’ve got enough ego for the both of us.”

He chuckled, stepping closer and then abruptly taking a step back like he was having an internal debate. “Yeah, well… maybe one day, I’ll show you just how much I can handle.”

You scoffed playfully. “Don’t get cocky, ‘Thanos.’ You’ll scare me away.”

“Oh, I’m not scared of that.” His eyes gleamed mischievously. “But maybe you should be scared of me next time someone tries to rob you. I’ve got your back now, whether you like it or not.”

You met his gaze, holding it for a second longer than you expected. There was something oddly magnetic about him, despite how ridiculous he was. Maybe it was his confidence. Maybe it was just the way he made everything seem so… effortless.

“Alright, you’re alright,” you said, finally cracking a smile. “But I’m still not sleeping with you.”

Su-Bong threw his head back, laughing loudly, the sound echoing in the alley. “Damn, I’m just trying to be a gentleman! You’re tough, girl. I respect that.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you said, already turning to leave. “Catch you later, Thanos. Try not to do anything too stupid, alright?”

“You know you like it,” he called after you, his voice full of laughter.

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t fight the grin spreading across your face as you walked off, the chaos of the night already slipping into the background. Somehow, you had a feeling this wouldn’t be the last time you crossed paths with Su-Bong.

You had always been used to the crowd, the spotlight, and the occasional flirtatious encounter that came with your job. But after that night, things felt different. The alleyway, once just another mundane part of your routine, had become a place of tension. A place you couldn’t quite shake the feeling of being watched.

It had been a week since Su-Bong—Thanos—had barged into your life, knocking out the mugger with his ridiculous swagger and grinning like he was some sort of hero. You tried to brush it off at first, laughing it off as just another weird encounter. But for some reason, he couldn’t seem to stay out of your mind. His cocky grin, his obnoxious confidence, and the ridiculous way he carried himself—it was hard to forget.

And, as it turned out, Su-Bong wasn’t just a one-time thing.

Every night, without fail, you noticed him.

It started small. At first, he’d be leaning against the wall, tucked in the shadows near the back alley, his scruffy figure barely visible under the dim light. You tried to ignore it, telling yourself it was just a coincidence. He was probably there for something else, right?

But as the days went on, you realized it wasn’t a coincidence at all. Every night, after your last set, when you slipped out of the back door to make your way home, there he was—waiting for you.

At first, you just rolled your eyes and kept walking, pretending you hadn’t seen him. But it didn’t take long for him to break the silence with his usual over-the-top greeting.

“Yo, baby girl,” he’d call out with that cocky grin plastered on his face. “You missed me already?”

You couldn’t help but smirk, rolling your eyes. “You’re out here again, huh? What, you think I need an escort now?”

“Well, yeah,” he’d reply without skipping a beat, crossing his arms like it was the most natural thing in the world. “I’m just lookin’ out for you, girl. Can’t have you out here by yourself, not after last time. You do remember last time, right?”

He was referring to the mugging attempt, of course, and while it had been terrifying in the moment, you couldn’t deny that his presence had given you a sense of security.

Still, you weren’t about to admit that. “I’m fine,” you’d respond, your voice laced with sarcasm. “I can take care of myself, Thanos.”

He’d just laugh, that obnoxious, carefree laugh that made everything seem less serious. “Yeah, sure you can. But, you know, it never hurts to have a little backup. Besides, you wouldn’t want to walk home alone in this city, would you?”

You’d sigh, knowing full well he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. “Fine, whatever. But don’t think you’re getting a thank-you out of me,” you’d tease, your voice softening despite yourself.

“Aw, c’mon, babe,” he’d say, stepping up alongside you as you began walking down the alley. “I’m just tryin’ to be nice here. Can’t blame a guy for lookin’ out for a pretty girl, right?”

You would chuckle, shaking your head. “You’re ridiculous. I don’t know how you’re always this confident, Thanos. You’ve got an ego the size of the moon.”

“Hey, when you’re as awesome as me, you gotta show it off,” he’d reply with that familiar grin, giving you a playful nudge.

You couldn’t help but laugh at him, despite yourself. It was silly, but in a way, you’d gotten used to him showing up, even if it was a little strange. There was something oddly comforting about having him there, even if you didn’t want to admit it. Every night, it became a routine—Su-Bong, the oddball rapper with a messy past, would show up to walk you home, his loud, ridiculous presence acting as a buffer between you and the world.

One night, as you stepped out of the club after your shift, you found him leaning against the wall, as usual. But this time, there was something different in his posture. He wasn’t laughing or making a joke; he looked… serious. His eyes softened when he saw you, and for a second, it almost felt like he wasn’t the obnoxious mess you’d grown used to.

“You good?” he asked, his voice quieter than usual.

You gave him a wary smile. “Yeah, just… tired. Long night.”

He nodded, pushing off the wall and walking up beside you. “Want me to grab you a ride home? I can get us a cab. Or, y’know, I could just give you a lift myself, if you trust me.”

You raised an eyebrow, clearly not expecting the offer. “You, give me a ride? In that… what, your glorious car that I’ve seen you driving around?” You couldn’t help but tease, but there was a hint of genuine curiosity in your voice.

He shrugged, unfazed. “Hey, it’s not that bad. And I don’t mind. Just… if I’m gonna keep making sure you’re safe, might as well go all the way, right?”

You hesitated, the weight of his words settling in. It wasn’t just about the knife-wielding mugger anymore. It felt like he actually cared.

“Alright,” you finally agreed, your voice softening. “You win. But I’m not sitting in the backseat, alright? You’ve gotta deal with my sarcasm front and center.”

He grinned, almost as if he’d won a small victory. “Deal. I’ll take all the sarcasm you can throw at me. You know I love a good challenge.”

As you both walked toward his beat-up car, the quiet between you was comfortable—something you hadn’t expected. It was strange, but somehow, having Su-Bong, the self-proclaimed hero, around every night after work felt a little less like a chore and a little more like a choice.

The ride to your apartment was nothing like you’d ever experienced before.

You’d expected the usual quiet, mundane car ride home—just a brief escape from the chaos of your night. But with Su-Bong behind the wheel, that was never going to be the case.

His car was a beat-up mess, an old thing that probably hadn’t seen a wash in years. The leather seats were cracked, the dashboard was littered with empty snack wrappers, and the air smelled faintly of stale cigarettes and something that you couldn’t quite place—maybe weed? Definitely a mix of chaos. But none of that mattered as he slammed the car into gear and sped off, making a sharp left turn that had you gripping the door handle instinctively.

“Woah—su-bong!” you shouted, leaning back in your seat as he swerved around another corner, the tires screeching in protest.

“What?” He grinned at you from the driver’s seat, the ridiculous confidence on his face never faltering. “You scared or something?”

“Scared?! I’m trying not to have a heart attack!” you shot back, trying to sound annoyed, but you couldn’t keep the smile from tugging at your lips. He was so ridiculous, so unpredictable, that it was hard to stay mad for long.

“Pfft, this is nothing,” Su-Bong said, swerving around another turn, his hand effortlessly shifting the gearstick. “If you’re gonna hang with me, you gotta be ready for a little adventure, ya know?” His voice was laced with a mix of cockiness and complete obliviousness to the danger he was putting both of you in.

You glanced at him, feeling your pulse quicken. “You’re insane, you know that?”

“Nah,” he replied, effortlessly breezing through the next intersection like he owned the road. “I’m just living life. No time for slow driving, babe.”

Before you could respond, the car blasted with the sudden boom of heavy bass as the speakers came to life, drowning out your thoughts. You jumped a little, caught off guard as the car’s old speakers rattled with the beat of the music.

“Yo, yo, yo!” Su-Bong shouted, his hand slapping the steering wheel in time with the rhythm. “This track’s fire! You gotta hear this!”

It was loud—ridiculously loud—and the music was straight-up rap, the kind that boomed with heavy bass and fast-paced verses. You weren’t usually the biggest fan of rap, but Su-Bong’s energy was contagious. Despite your initial surprise, you found yourself nodding along, the music rattling through your chest with every beat.

“Alright, alright, I get it!” you laughed, trying to be heard over the pounding bass. “But are you sure you can handle driving like this?”

“Can I handle it?” he shouted back, his face lit up with the thrill of the ride. “I live for this. Look at me go! No hands on the wheel, no problem!”

And just like that, he threw his hands up in the air, the car swerving again as he hummed along with the lyrics. Your eyes widened, heart racing, as you quickly grabbed the door handle, bracing yourself for the ride.

“Su-Bong!” you screeched, genuinely worried. “Keep your hands on the wheel!”

“Oh, don’t worry. I’m a professional!” he said nonchalantly, his eyes still on the road—barely. The music blared so loud that you could feel the vibrations in your seat, the sound almost deafening.

“You’re an idiot,” you muttered, trying to keep your cool despite the fact that you were moments away from either laughing or having a panic attack. There was no in-between when it came to Su-Bong.

He shot you a grin, his eyes glinting with mischief. “I’ll take that as a compliment, babe. You know you like my style.”

You couldn’t deny it. Despite the fact that you were pretty sure you were seconds away from crashing, there was something about him that made it all feel… fun. Alive.

“Seriously though,” you said, shifting in your seat to look at him. “If we die tonight, I’m haunting you forever.”

Su-Bong tilted his head, his grin widening. “Deal. You can haunt me all you want, babe. But I promise we’ll be just fine. Look at that—flawless driving,” he said, swerving through another turn with ridiculous ease. The car’s tires screamed in protest, but somehow, he pulled it off.

You rolled your eyes, but the adrenaline was starting to get to you. It was like you were in some kind of action movie, and you were either the heroine or the idiot for getting into the car with him. Either way, you couldn’t stop the thrill running through your veins, and it wasn’t just from the speed of the car.

“You’re insane,” you muttered, but there was a smile tugging at your lips again.

“Yeah, but you love it,” Su-Bong grinned, his eyes flicking to you for a brief moment before turning back to the road. “You think you can keep up with me?”

You leaned back in your seat, crossing your arms, your expression turning teasing. “You think you’re the only one who can handle this? You’re not the only one who lives for the thrill, Su-Bong.”

“Oh, I know,” he said, glancing at you with that cocky look in his eyes. “But I’m definitely the one who knows how to show you a good time.”

You rolled your eyes again, but the laughter bubbled up from your chest. There was no getting rid of him, and frankly, you didn’t want to. Despite the chaos, the blaring rap music, and the almost terrifying driving, there was something undeniably magnetic about Su-Bong. Something that made you feel like maybe, just maybe, this reckless adventure wasn’t such a bad thing after all.

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A few days had passed since Su-Bong had gotten you home in one piece, despite his completely reckless driving and obnoxious sense of confidence. You hadn’t really expected to hear from him again after that—figured it was just another one of his impulsive acts of “heroism.” But, much to your surprise, he’d kept showing up like clockwork, always there in the alley after your shifts, escorting you home like it was some sort of routine.

You’d almost started to look forward to it.

But tonight was different.

As you walked out of the club, stretching your tired muscles after another long shift, you spotted Su-Bong standing against the brick wall—again, as usual—but this time, he was grinning like he had something up his sleeve.

“Yo!” he called out, practically bouncing on his feet. “I got something special for you tonight.”

You raised an eyebrow, walking over toward him with a smirk. “Special? What, did you sign us up for a bungee jump or something?”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “Nah, nah. But I am taking you somewhere a little more exciting tonight. You’re gonna love it.”

You couldn’t help but feel a slight twinge of curiosity, but you tried to hide it. “You sure you’re not just dragging me to some back-alley karaoke bar again?”

He waved his hand dismissively. “Nah, I’m not that predictable, am I?” He took a step closer, his tone suddenly more serious. “I’m taking you to my friend’s club tonight. Nam-Gyu’s place. It’s a bit more… private. You’ll like it. Trust me.”

Nam-Gyu. You’d heard of him—one of Su-Bong’s friends, another rapper in the local scene, but apparently with a bit of a reputation. If Su-Bong vouched for the place, though, you figured it couldn’t be that bad.

“Okay, fine. You can’t keep surprising me with random stuff forever,” you said, crossing your arms. “Lead the way.”

A wicked grin stretched across Su-Bong’s face as he reached for his keys. “That’s what I like to hear, baby girl. Let’s roll.”

You followed him to his car, and as usual, the music blasted through the speakers before you could even get the door closed. He slammed the gearshift into place, the car roaring to life as he revved the engine with his signature, reckless enthusiasm.

As you drove through the city, the streets flashing by, you couldn’t help but feel a little nervous—this was a different kind of place. The fact that it was “private” sounded a little mysterious, but you trusted him (well, somewhat). And besides, you didn’t want to admit that you were kind of excited to see where Su-Bong was taking you.

When you finally pulled up to the club, you were surprised to see a sleek, black building tucked away behind a row of trees. It was way more low-key than you expected, with only a few cars parked outside. Su-Bong parked the car with that same reckless flair, jumping out without hesitation and opening the door for you.

“Welcome to the real underground, babe,” Su-Bong said with a wink, gesturing toward the entrance like it was some kind of VIP exclusive. “Nam-Gyu’s place. You won’t find anything like it around here.”

You raised an eyebrow but couldn’t help the curious grin that spread across your face. “Alright, Thanos. Let’s see what you got.”

Inside, the club was darker than the ones you were used to, with neon lights flashing in hypnotic patterns across the walls. The atmosphere felt electric, a mix of sleek design and gritty underworld energy. It wasn’t as flashy as the places you performed at, but the music was just as loud, and the crowd? Rowdy, to say the least.

Su-Bong led you through the crowd, nodding at a few familiar faces as he made his way toward the back. You couldn’t help but notice how everyone seemed to know him, giving him the kind of respect that made it clear he wasn’t just another rapper here for a good time. He was someone who ran in the deeper circles.

“Yo, Nam!” Su-Bong called out as they reached the back area, where a man with a buzz cut and a leather jacket was lounging on a couch, surrounded by a few other shady-looking individuals.

Nam-Gyu looked up, his expression unreadable at first, but when he saw Su-Bong, a smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Thanos,” he greeted with a nod, as though this was just another casual meeting between old friends. “You bring me someone new?”

You smiled, trying to look as confident as you could. “Not just anyone, Nam-Gyu. This is the one and only Y/N.”

Su-Bong shot you a sideways glance and then grinned even wider. “She’s got talent. You’ll see what I mean.”

Nam-Gyu stood up, his eyes sweeping over you with mild interest. “She looks like she can handle herself,” he said, offering you a handshake. “Welcome to my place.”

You took his hand, nodding politely but still feeling a little out of place. “Thanks for having me.”

“Of course,” Nam-Gyu replied, his gaze flicking back to Su-Bong. “Thanos talks a lot, but when he says something, it usually means something.” His voice was smooth, but there was an edge to it, a hint that this place was more than just a club.

Su-Bong stepped forward with a playful grin. “Well, I’m the one who says she’s got talent, so… Nam, don’t make me look bad, alright?”

Nam-Gyu chuckled, turning toward the DJ booth and waving toward the back. “Relax. You know how we do things around here.” He turned to you with a wink. “I think you’re gonna like it.”

As Su-Bong pulled you into the crowd, the music pulsed around you in a way that made your body buzz. It was harder, faster, and rawer than anything you’d experienced before. Su-Bong was practically bouncing on his heels, nodding along to the beat with exaggerated confidence.

“See? I told you it’d be fire,” he said, grinning like a proud kid showing off his favorite toy.

You couldn’t help but laugh, even as you looked around, the feeling of the place settling in. It was gritty and real, and maybe just a little dangerous—but you’d gotten used to that with Su-Bong. And as the bass reverberated through your chest, you couldn’t help but admit that maybe this was a kind of thrill you hadn’t experienced before. A different kind of world, one you didn’t quite understand yet—but with him by your side, you weren’t as scared as you thought you’d be.

You gave Su-Bong a sideways glance, a playful smile tugging at your lips. “Alright, alright. This might actually be kind of fun.”

Su-Bong winked at you, his usual cocky grin back in full force. “I knew you’d come around, babe. Stick with me, and you’ll never have a boring night again.”

The night after Su-Bong took you to Nam-Gyu’s club, everything seemed to blend into one chaotic mix. The sounds of the city, the pulsing beat of the music, and Su-Bong’s larger-than-life energy had you feeling like you were in a whirlwind. You weren’t used to his world, not really, but something about the unpredictability of it all kept pulling you in.

Tonight, though, there was something different in the air.

Su-Bong had invited you out again. This time, you found yourself in his car, the familiar scent of weed and cologne surrounding you as he navigated the streets with his usual reckless abandon.

“So,” Su-Bong said, glancing at you as the music blasted through the car. “You’ve been hanging around a while. You ever think about… loosening up a little?” He was grinning, but his tone was serious, like he was trying to gauge something.

You raised an eyebrow, your curiosity piqued. “Loosening up?” you repeated, leaning back in your seat. “You mean, like… not stressing over everything?”

“Exactly,” he said with a casual shrug. “You’ve been working hard. Living life in the fast lane, like I do, but it’s easy to get stuck in your own head. Sometimes, you gotta let go. Trust me, I know how to take the edge off.”

You could see where this was going, but you weren’t sure if you were ready to follow him down that road. Su-Bong had a way of making things sound so effortless, like it was no big deal. But you’d heard the rumors—about the substances people used in the circles he ran in. You didn’t want to be just another person caught up in it, not really.

“What do you mean, ‘take the edge off’?” you asked cautiously, trying to keep your tone light.

Su-Bong shot you a sideways glance, his grin widening. “Come on, you’ve got to know how it is. Everyone does it. Just a little something to take the weight off your shoulders.” He reached into his bag and pulled out a small baggie, the contents hidden inside. His fingers moved deftly, almost too casually, as he pulled out a small white pill.

Your stomach dropped. You’d seen people like him before—always talking about the “high” and the “rush,” but you never thought you’d be in this situation. You’d heard about the risks, the people who got lost in it, and the way it could take control of someone’s life. And yet, here Su-Bong was, offering you a glimpse into that world.

“Don’t do it,” you said, your voice shaky. “I didn’t come here for that, Su-Bong.”

He seemed to pause, the playful look on his face shifting into something softer for just a moment. “Look, I’m not gonna force you,” he said, his tone changing slightly. “But you’re overthinking it. One time, and it’s just… it’s just something to help you forget for a bit. No harm in that.”

You hesitated, looking at the pill in his hand, your heart pounding in your chest. The pull of curiosity was strong, but the fear of what could happen if you went down that road kept you rooted where you were. “I’m not you, Su-Bong. I don’t want to get caught up in all that.”

For a moment, there was a quiet understanding between you two. Su-Bong didn’t try to push it, just watching you with those intense eyes that seemed to always be reading you. Finally, he slipped the pill back into his pocket, sighing.

“You don’t have to,” he said softly, looking away from you for a moment as the car slowed to a stop at a red light. “I get it. Some things, you can’t just dive into without thinking about the consequences.”

You appreciated the fact that he wasn’t pushing you, but you also couldn’t ignore the sinking feeling in your stomach. It wasn’t just about the substances. It was about Su-Bong himself. The easy way he lived, always rushing into things without thinking—sometimes you worried he didn’t realize how much he was losing control of.

As the light turned green, you felt the weight of the moment shift. You weren’t ready to dive into his world of substance use, but you weren’t ready to walk away from him either. Maybe, in time, you could help him find balance, just like you were trying to do for yourself. But for now, you just wanted to enjoy being you—free of the chaos he seemed to embrace so easily.

“I’m good,” you said, breaking the silence.

Su-Bong gave a small nod, his grin returning, though it seemed less playful now, more reflective. “Yeah, I get you. But, you know, I’ll always be here if you change your mind.”

You didn’t reply, but there was something in the way he said it that made you think maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t as carefree as he liked to make it seem.

The drive continued in silence, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. You both knew where the other stood. In a world full of fast decisions, maybe it was nice to slow down every once in a while.

He looked at you with that familiar grin, his eyes glinting. “One time, Y/N. Just once. You’re not gonna regret it.”

Your hands felt clammy, but you found yourself nodding, unable to look away from the pill in his hand. There was something in his voice that made you believe him, even if you knew better. The need for relief, the escape from the endless cycle of work, the constant pressure, it all mixed with the thrill of being here, with him, in this moment.

You reached for the pill, your fingers brushing his as you took it. Su-Bong’s smile widened. “Trust me, babe. You’ll feel like a new person.”

The pill felt small in your mouth, barely noticeable as you swallowed it down with a gulp of air. The seconds ticked by in silence. Su-Bong kept glancing over at you, a nervous anticipation settling over him.

At first, nothing happened. Your heart raced, but it could’ve just been the adrenaline of the moment. Then, slowly, the world around you began to blur. The sharpness of your thoughts softened, and a warm, familiar rush settled over you.

Everything felt a little easier, like the weight you had been carrying on your shoulders had been lifted just enough for you to breathe.

You exhaled, your body relaxing into the seat. It felt… good. Too good. A sense of calm washed over you, as if the noise and chaos of life were just distant echoes. The anxiety you hadn’t even realized you were holding onto faded into the background.

Su-Bong’s voice cut through the haze. “How do you feel?”

You looked at him, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. “Different. In a good way.”

He nodded, a satisfied look crossing his face. But even as he smiled, something in his eyes flickered, almost as if he were waiting for something—waiting for you to say the words he wanted to hear, to say you were hooked.

And that’s when the reality of it all hit you.

This wasn’t just about feeling good for a moment. It was about the slippery slope you were now standing on. The world around you felt soft, but you knew this feeling was temporary. The sense of ease would fade, and then what? Would you keep going back to that escape? Would it always be this easy to forget?

You turned your gaze out the window, watching the city lights blur past as Su-Bong drove. The high was nice, yes, but a gnawing feeling in your gut told you that this moment was something more than just a little escape. It was a door opening, and you had no idea where it would lead.

As Su-Bong reached for the radio, changing the song to something upbeat and loud, you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were on the edge of something dangerous.

The music blared through the car, the beat pulsing in your chest. But now, it was hard to ignore the fact that you’d crossed a line. The question was: would you ever go back?

Su-Bong didn’t seem to notice the shift in your mood. He was too busy jamming along to the music, lost in his own world. You tried to focus on the rhythm, but the weight of your decision hung in the air like a fog you couldn’t escape.

For now, you were caught between two worlds—the one you knew and the one you were just beginning to understand. But one thing was for sure; nothing would ever be the same again.

The lights inside the club had always been bright, always flashing in rhythm to the music. But tonight, they felt harsher, too bright, like they were highlighting everything you were trying to ignore. The constant pressure, the constant need to perform, to be perfect—every night felt like a cycle you couldn’t break.

Su-Bong had been there, waiting in the shadows, just like always. But this time, he wasn’t just a distraction or a carefree joke. This time, he was the one handing you a way out.

At first, you resisted. The pills, the escape, the numbing sensation that came with it all—it wasn’t something you thought you’d need. You weren’t like those people, the ones who lost themselves in the high. But with each passing day, with each stressful night at the club, it became harder to resist.

It wasn’t long before Su-Bong noticed. He always noticed.

He was there after every show, leaning casually against the doorframe, waiting for you like a predator who knew exactly when to strike. His smile was always a little too knowing, a little too confident. It was a charm you couldn’t ignore, not even when you tried.

“You don’t need to keep pretending like you’re fine, Y/N,” he’d say, his voice low and teasing, as if he was talking about something no one else could understand. He’d pull out a small pill, gliding it across the counter to you, that signature grin never leaving his face.

At first, you hesitated, telling yourself it was just one time. You could control it. But with Su-Bong there, telling you it was okay, telling you it would make everything easier—it became so much harder to say no.

And so, you didn’t.

One pill turned into two. Then, three. And with every hit, the pain, the pressure, the nagging thoughts—everything seemed to drift away. It felt good. It felt like freedom, even if it was just for a moment.

“You see?” Su-Bong would say, his voice slick with reassurance. “This is what you’ve been looking for. No more stress. No more worrying about what’s next. Just feel it. Let it go.”

It wasn’t just the pills. It was the way he made it sound so harmless, the way he painted it like an escape, something you deserved, something to help you get through the night. The high was a temporary fix, but the way he made it seem like a reward for all the hard work—you couldn’t help but fall deeper.

By now, your relationship with Su-Bong was more than just the occasional offer. It became routine. You would go through the night, dancing and smiling, your body moving to the beat, but the only thing keeping you afloat was the buzz, the pills tucked into your bag, always there waiting for the next round.

“How’re you feeling?” Su-Bong would ask, his voice always low, as he handed you more, his grin never faltering.

“I’m good,” you’d say, though you could feel it deep in your chest. The high was starting to fade too quickly now. You were chasing it, but it was slipping away faster than you could catch it. But with Su-Bong around, it never felt too bad.

You never realized how much you had come to rely on him until one night, when you didn’t have the strength to ask for it yourself. The club had emptied out, and the workers were packing up. The glow of the neon lights reflected off the glass, casting long shadows across the alley.

You stood there, your hands trembling, trying to find the energy to leave. The pressure of the night, the exhaustion, the constant strain of needing to be perfect—it was all too much. You couldn’t face the world without another pill.

Su-Bong was there, waiting, as always. But this time, he didn’t say anything. He just pulled the bag from his pocket and handed it to you without hesitation. You knew you didn’t need to ask. He was always there to give you what you needed, even when you didn’t want to admit you needed it.

“Just one more, Y/N. I’ve got you,” Su-Bong murmured, his tone soft, almost coaxing. He knew exactly what you were thinking, knew exactly what you wanted. And somehow, the way he said it—so sure, so confident—it made you feel like it was the only thing that would make everything okay.

You took the pill from his hand, swallowing it down without a second thought. The world began to blur again, and for the first time in a long time, you felt like you could breathe.

It wasn’t the first time you had taken it, and it wouldn’t be the last.

But every time you fell back into it, you realized just how much control he had over you. Su-Bong didn’t just offer you an escape—he made sure you needed it. And as much as you hated to admit it, the idea of living without it, without him, seemed impossible now.

“You good?” he asked again, his voice like a soft, dangerous hum. You nodded, smiling the kind of smile you didn’t feel, but it was enough to keep him satisfied.

“I’m fine,” you lied, knowing that deep down, things were slipping out of control.

You didn’t want to admit it, but you knew. The cycle was spinning faster now. And you had no idea how long you could keep up with it before everything came crashing down.

The music in the club was louder tonight, the bass thumping through the floor, but it felt like it was miles away. Everything was distant, as if the noise, the flashing lights, and the crowd weren’t real at all. Your thoughts were clouded, like a fog that never really cleared. You’d been here too long—performing, pretending, and with every passing minute, it felt more like you were living someone else’s life.

Su-Bong was there, as always. He was waiting in the back alley, his usual spot, where the world outside felt far removed from everything that weighed on you. You hadn’t even noticed him approach until he was standing beside you, close enough that his presence filled your every breath.

“Tonight was rough, huh?” Su-Bong’s voice broke through the silence. His words weren’t full of the usual jokes or sarcasm. They were softer, almost concerned, like he was seeing through the mask you wore.

You didn’t answer right away. The high from earlier was wearing off, but it wasn’t enough to clear your mind. You were tired. So tired. “I just need a minute,” you muttered, leaning against the wall of the alley, your hands trembling.

He watched you for a moment, his expression unreadable. Then, without warning, he stepped closer, his hand brushing against yours. The heat from his skin sent a jolt through you, a strange mix of comfort and unease. You looked up at him, but you couldn’t read his eyes. They were too dark, too intense.

“You can come to my place, if you want,” Su-Bong said, his voice low, almost like a question. “Get away from all this.”

You didn’t know why, but something in the way he said it made you nod. It was as if you had no control over your own decisions anymore, as if you were caught in some sort of web, tangled in his words and the pull of his presence.

The drive to his place was quiet, save for the occasional beat of the rap music that blasted from his car’s speakers. You stared out the window, letting the cold air from the cracked window cool your flushed skin. The world outside was blurry, the streets lighting up in quick flashes as he sped through them recklessly.

When you finally reached his apartment, the door slammed shut behind you with a finality that echoed in the silence. Su-Bong didn’t waste time. He motioned for you to sit on the couch, but you didn’t follow his instructions. Instead, you moved towards the window, pulling the curtain back slightly to glance at the city lights below.

“You know you don’t have to do this, right?” Su-Bong’s voice cut through the quiet room. It wasn’t an accusation, but more of a gentle reminder. Like he was giving you a way out, even though you knew deep down you wouldn’t take it.

You turned to look at him, your heart pounding in your chest. “I don’t know what I’m doing anymore,” you confessed softly, your voice barely above a whisper.

He stepped closer, and for a moment, there was a stillness between you. His hand brushed against yours again, and this time, you didn’t pull away. His fingers wrapped around yours gently, and the contact sent a strange warmth through you, grounding you in that moment.

“I know,” Su-Bong murmured, his voice low and soothing. He reached up, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear, his touch lingering just a little longer than it should have. “But you don’t have to figure it all out tonight. We can just… be here. Together.”

The air between you seemed to crackle, and without thinking, you stepped forward, closing the space between you. His hands found your waist, pulling you in close as his lips brushed against yours. The kiss was slow at first, tentative, like neither of you wanted to acknowledge how much you needed it. But as it deepened, it became something else—something raw, something real. The chaos of the night, the pressure of your life, the confusion of everything that had been building up inside you—it all seemed to vanish as you kissed him.

It wasn’t just a kiss. It was an unraveling. A surrender.

You pulled away for a moment, your breath shallow as you looked up at him. His eyes were darker now, filled with something more than just lust. There was an understanding there, a quiet acceptance.

“I’m not good for you,” you whispered, the words slipping out before you could stop them.

Su-Bong’s thumb traced your jawline, his touch tender. “Doesn’t matter. I don’t need you to be perfect. I just need you to be real.”

His words hung in the air between you, and for a brief moment, it felt like everything made sense. But that was the thing about moments like this—they never lasted long enough.

You leaned in again, this time with more urgency, more desperation. The walls you had built around yourself were crumbling, piece by piece, and the only thing that seemed to fill the void was him. His touch. The connection that had started with a shared glance, a shared high, and now… something deeper.

As you moved towards his bed, your heart was racing. It wasn’t just about the sex, though. It was about the closeness, the way his presence filled the empty spaces in your soul. The things you had been hiding from, the parts of yourself you had locked away—they were spilling out, unfiltered, raw. And somehow, Su-Bong was the only one who seemed to see it.

When the moment finally came to a halt, when the exhaustion and emotions settled, you found yourself lying next to him, staring up at the ceiling in the quiet of his room. The air was thick with unspoken words, and neither of you seemed in a hurry to break the silence.

Su-Bong was the first to speak, his voice soft and almost uncertain. “You know, Y/N, I never thought I’d say this, but… I don’t want you to keep running. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

You turned your head to look at him, the weight of his words sinking in. There was something sincere in his gaze, something that made you question everything you had believed about him.

“I don’t know how to fix this,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “But… I want to try. I want to stop pretending.”

Su-Bong smiled, a small, soft grin that made your heart skip a beat. “We’ll figure it out, together. One day at a time.”

And for the first time in what felt like forever, you believed it.

You had known something was off for weeks, but you kept pushing it down, ignoring the signs. The late-night cravings, the nausea that came and went, the dizziness that seemed to follow you everywhere. It wasn’t until you missed your period that the weight of the situation hit you. The reality settled in with an almost suffocating force, and no matter how hard you tried to dismiss it, you couldn’t escape the thought: What if I’m pregnant?

So here you were, sitting in the bathroom of your apartment, the harsh fluorescent light above casting a sterile glow on the cold tiles. You held the pregnancy test in your shaking hands, staring at it as though it could somehow change if you stared long enough. Your mind raced. You had never wanted this. You weren’t ready for a child. You couldn’t even keep your own life together, let alone bring a new life into it.

You took a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves, and finally, you peeled open the box. There was a small, almost cruel silence in the room as you followed the instructions, your heart pounding in your chest as you waited for the test to process. The minutes felt like hours. It was hard to focus on anything except the heavy weight of what you knew could change everything.

When the time finally passed, you looked down. The two lines stared up at you, stark and undeniable. Your heart stopped. Positive.

You sat there, frozen, as the world seemed to stop around you. Your thoughts were a jumbled mess—fear, confusion, anger, guilt. You had no idea what to do next. You hadn’t even considered the possibility that this could happen. You were used to running from things, ignoring them, hiding away in the high you chased. But this was different. This wasn’t something you could run from.

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you stared at the test in disbelief. The bathroom felt too small, too confining, and yet the outside world felt miles away. You couldn’t make sense of anything. You couldn’t even make sense of yourself anymore.

You leaned your forehead against the cool tile, trying to breathe through the panic rising in your chest. You didn’t know what to do. You didn’t know how to fix this. You couldn’t even fix yourself.

The party was a blur of flashing lights, loud music, and the heavy thrum of bass that made the walls of the house vibrate. You barely noticed the people around you, the laughter, the chaotic fun. All you could focus on was the gnawing feeling in your gut, a pit of dread you couldn’t shake. The flashing images of your life in the last few weeks had become a montage you couldn’t turn off. The pregnancy test, the growing fear, the moments of trying to escape into the noise of the club scene, hoping it would all somehow disappear.

But it hadn’t disappeared. The truth was a constant weight on your shoulders, and you couldn’t ignore it anymore. You knew you had to face it, even if you weren’t sure what to do.

Su-Bong was nowhere in sight at first. You wandered through the party, half-heartedly sipping on a drink, trying to pretend you were fine, trying to forget the reality that had been clawing at you from the inside. Every time you looked at him in the crowd, your stomach twisted more. He seemed so carefree, so full of life, his usual confident smirk always on display, surrounded by people who adored him. He seemed untouchable in a way, like he could do whatever he wanted and never have to answer for it.

But tonight, everything felt different. You felt like you were sinking into yourself, standing on the edge of a cliff, terrified to fall.

Finally, you spotted him—Su-Bong, in the middle of a conversation, his laugh echoing through the room. He caught sight of you and, with that typical swagger, made his way over, a grin already spreading across his face.

“Y/N! You look way too serious for this crowd. What’s up?” He placed a hand on your shoulder, squeezing gently before stepping back, his eyes scanning you with a playful gleam. “You good? Or are you just trying to play it cool?”

You didn’t want to ruin his night. You didn’t want to make it harder than it already was. But the anxiety gnawing at you was unbearable, and there was no hiding it anymore.

“I’m fine, just… tired,” you lied, trying to offer him a half-hearted smile.

He raised an eyebrow. “Tired? You’re acting like you’ve been through a marathon. Come on, let’s get you out of your head. You’re here to have fun.” He gestured toward the table where drugs were being passed around like candy. The smell of smoke hung in the air, mixing with the sweet, sickly scent of alcohol. It wasn’t a surprise, but tonight it made you sick.

You shook your head, taking a step back. “I’m not doing that, Su-Bong. I’m done with it.”

His grin faltered for just a moment before his usual cocky demeanor returned. He leaned against the wall, crossing his arms. “What do you mean, you’re done with it? You’ve been doing it for months.”

You swallowed hard, feeling the lump in your throat. “I don’t want to anymore,” you said quietly, but the words felt weak. “I don’t need it. I’m done pretending everything’s fine.”

His eyes narrowed slightly, not fully understanding what was going on. “You don’t need it? What, you think you’re better than all this now?” His voice had a sharp edge to it, the irritation slowly creeping in. “You think walking away from it’s just gonna fix everything, huh?”

You looked at him, frustrated and hurt. “No. It’s not about being better, Su-Bong. It’s about… it’s about everything spiraling out of control. I’m not just acting like I’m too good for this. I’m saying it’s not working anymore. None of it is. And I’m trying to get my life back, to figure out what’s real.” Your voice wavered slightly, but you pressed on. “But that’s hard when I’m stuck in a cycle of—of crap I can’t get out of.”

He stepped closer, now eyeing you more carefully, but there was still a flicker of defensiveness in his eyes. “You’re acting all serious and distant tonight. Is it about me?” he asked, his voice dropping lower. “What’s going on, Y/N? You’re not talking to me.”

“I’ve been trying to keep everything together. Trying to keep up appearances. Pretend I’m not breaking down inside.” You inhaled sharply, trying to steady your racing heart. “But it’s not just the partying. It’s everything. It’s all falling apart.”

He tilted his head, his smirk finally fading. “What do you mean by that? What do you think you’re falling apart from?”

You bit your lip, debating whether to tell him. You’d been avoiding it for weeks now, terrified of the consequences, afraid of his reaction. But the truth had nowhere else to go. You couldn’t keep hiding it.

“I’m pregnant, Su-Bong. With your kid.” The words left your mouth before you could even process them, and the silence that followed felt suffocating.

The shock on his face was immediate. His eyes widened, and for a moment, he couldn’t speak. He blinked several times, as if trying to make sense of what you had just said. His mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out at first. He took a step back, his hand dropping to his side as though he didn’t know what to do with himself.

“You’re… pregnant?” He repeated, voice thick with disbelief.

You nodded, your heart racing as the reality of it all came crashing down on you. “Yeah. With your kid.”

Su-Bong stared at you, his face unreadable, but you could see the gears turning in his mind, the panic flickering in his eyes. He ran a hand through his hair, his expression faltering as he processed the words. The music from inside the party seemed distant now, the noise too sharp. The whole world seemed to shrink down to the two of you standing there in the cold, quiet night.

He exhaled slowly, shaking his head as if trying to clear his thoughts. “Shit, Y/N… I don’t… I don’t even know what to say to this. This is… this is too much.” His voice was low and strained.

You flinched, your chest tightening as his words hit harder than you expected. “Su-Bong…” you whispered, your throat tight with emotion. “You don’t have to say anything. I just… I just need you to know. I didn’t know how to tell you. I’m scared, okay? I don’t know what to do, and I didn’t want to drag you into it.”

He looked at you, his eyes filled with confusion and frustration. “Scared? Of course, you’re scared! But I’m scared, too!” His voice raised slightly, raw with emotion. “What do you expect me to do? I’m not ready for this. I’m not ready to be a dad. I’m not!”

The words stung, and your heart sank into your stomach. You tried to hold back the tears that threatened to spill. “I never asked you to be ready, Su-Bong. I didn’t expect you to have all the answers. But I need you to understand. I don’t know what to do alone.”

He ran a hand over his face, frustration and panic clear in his expression. “I… I don’t know what to say. I didn’t want this to happen. I’m not ready for any of this. I’m just—fuck.” He kicked the ground lightly, trying to find something in the air to focus on.

You took a shaky breath, trying to control the lump in your throat. “I know you’re not ready. I know it’s a lot, but I—”

“Stop, Y/N,” Su-Bong cut you off, shaking his head. “I can’t just turn around and pretend this is gonna be fine. You think I’m ready to just—just jump into this? I can barely keep my own shit together, let alone deal with a kid. I’m not good at this. I don’t know how to be a dad!”

You stepped back, feeling the sharp sting of his words, the weight of it all crashing down. “I’m not asking you to do anything you’re not ready for, Su-Bong,” you whispered. “But I’m scared of doing this alone.”

His expression faltered, his frustration giving way to something else—regret, maybe? But before he could speak, you turned and walked away from him, the tears finally slipping down your cheeks, the sounds of the party fading behind you as the night swallowed you whole.

────୨ৎ────────୨ৎ────────

[someonesrealityshifting]

.・✭・. Life Explanation .・✭・. ・

✭ My life is like a 2010s coming of age novel, but one of the ones with a shitty ending, like Before I Fall. Except it doesn't have a shitty ending, you just worry it might. My life is dancing in the rain and forgetting a coat and ending up with a cough but not caring because I was dancing with him. My life is climbing into abandoned buildings and befriending the rats who live there, leaving them food and telling them how pretty they are. My life is finding roadkill and bringing it home to pray for it and to send it to Thanatos gently, as he would want it.

✭ My life is making stupid decisions because I never got to as a kid. My life is smoking cheap cigarettes and coughing so hard I vow to quit, only to come back six hours later when he pulls out his lighter. My life is drawing on myself and loving it so much I go get it tattooed that day. My life is incohesive playlists and rants about movies and bugs I love. My life is collecting rainwater and rocks and bones I find, pressing flowers and leaves between the pages of limited edition books.

✭ My life is collecting soda pop tabs and butterfly wings and walnut shells because I can. My life is crying over the dead things I find and mourning them, giving even the worm I find on the sidewalk as it pours the simple respect of life. My life is constantly defending my position as an ambiamorous gay trans man as well as a leftist, an anarchist, quite possibly a communist, because my idea that all living things have inherent worth is apparently 'radical'.

✭ My life is tiny jars and using watercolor on canvas even though you're absolutely not supposed to use watercolor on canvas. My life is painting my nails outside because I don't want to risk my dog inhaling the fumes and feeding my gecko by hand because he's a diva but I also can't touch him because it frightens him. My life is car rides to vibe-based playlists, sticking my arms out the window and screaming when I see a puppy in the next car.

✭ My life is loving, endlessly and without remorse. Giving my love to anyone who will take it, accept it, regardless of whether or not it's reflected back at me, because if one can hate without cause, why can I, too, not love the same way? My life is shamelessly blocking and cutting off toxic people because I'm worth more, because the people I love are worth more.

✭ My life is holding a cat like a baby, because I'm a bit too fucked up to have a real one, and dancing around the house with it, telling it how much I love it as shitty music blares from the phone in my pocket. My life is putting stickers on my canes and headphones and every electronic device I have because they deserve to feel pretty, too. My life is putting too many layers of dye in my hair and not caring because it makes me feel better. My life is asking "would you still love me if I was a worm?" a thousand times and never getting bored of the answers.

✭ My life is keeping Loki's altar in my kitchen because it's never not chaotic as all hell in there, even if the odd assortment of things he likes is a bit of an eyesore; that's where he belongs. My life is keeping Christmas lights up all the year round because they're pretty and I love them. My life is finding a spot where I can see the sky without light pollution and staring at the stars for as long as I can, even though I know so very few of them, just because they're beautiful and I can. My life is getting a shitty camera from, like, 2015 because it's cheap and it has decent exposure, and even though the pictures always come out a little blurry, I pin them to the wall over our bed anyway.

✭ My life is writing poetry on every available surface, buying a shit ton of notebooks in August when they're 25 cents each and them all being full by March. My life is texting him "this song reminded me of you" at 3am when I know we should be asleep but neither of us are. My life is freaking out anytime I see a cat, because fucking look at him, he's such a cutie, aaa he booped meeee. My life is listening to Taylor Swift because they like it, and because I'd do anything to make them smile, even if I think "Antihero" is the single stupidest song I've ever heard in my life.

✭ My life is the word 'paladin', which is not only my dad's favorite WOW class, but it's my mom's favorite episode of bones. "Paladin" means, "I will always protect you. I will not choose violence for myself, because I can keep myself safe enough, but I would burn the world for you, because I love you, and I will hurt anyone, even myself, to keep you safe." My life is my parents telling me at age 9 that to love a hero was to hate one's self. That a hero would sacrifice you to save the world, that a villain had no such obligation. To always love the villain, the person most likely to hurt everyone but you.

✭ My life is painting on a 60 year old denim jacket and having no idea how to get the paint off so I just take a razor to the paint to get it a bit thinner and then saving up money so I can buy a Vincian flag to hide the marks it left behind. My life is having a bunch of scars from stupid things, and being proud to share each misadventure, because they define me, because I let them. My life is wishing I wasn't clean until I meet him and them and maybe deciding that I prefer having marks from love than self loathing.

✭ My life is waking up with my legs tangled in theirs only to get up before they do, going to make us shitty coffee because it's the only kind I know how to make, but they drink it anyway because I also make French toast so it's palatable. My life is house plants that I take care of exquisitely for years only to leave them in his care for a week and find them to be on the verge of death. My life is eating too much chocolate and dragging them both into the living room to build a pillow fort and watch Bluey for 6 hours on a random Friday night.

✭ My life is thrift shopping and buying shit I know I'll never use, simply because I can afford it, and because I love it, and because I can. My life is gardening all of spring and summer and never leaving the woods in autumn and shoveling until my knees buckle in winter. My life is learning how to swim in a creek because I don't trust anyone but the two of them to teach me.

✭ My life is love. My life is light. My life is making myself feel whole, and being able to give myself to the people who love me and the people whom I love. My life is happy, and warm, and safe. My life is starlight and wholesome until it's dark moons and dirty jokes, and even then, the sun comes back the next morning, and so do the gentle kisses and caresses. My life is safety and comfort and value, inherent and known, in every person I come across.

[blubushie]

Home at last. Allow me to formally introduce Mattie.

Taken at the servo. Also have a pic Dad took while I was driving. He thought the sunset was pretty. Something in the orange.

Lemme tell you about this beastie.

I need a sparky to have a squizz at her cuz practically nothing electronic in her works. Radio works. Dash lights work. Brake lights work. Headlights work.

That's all that works.

She's got no rear lights, no rear indicators, no hazards, no horn, her petrol gauge doesn't work, her electric fuel tank switch doesn't work, it was a bitch and a half switching her tanks on the highway because I had no warning that she was about to sputter and then she did and I had to grapple around under the seat unable to signal to anyone around me that she's a hazard because her hazards DO NOT WORK and then it took her three gruelling seconds to kick back in after I managed to switch tanks.

But she went 25 in a 65 to 70 in about 3 seconds, so that's cool. Almost gave me a fucken nosebleed, heh.

Her headliner's falling in on the driver's side, her cigarette lighter doesn't work but she reeks of cheap Marlboro, her antenna's snapped off, but hey, at least she's got an 8track. But her tiller's also turned wrong—the bitch sits sideways. She's got some give to it too, takes some wobble to make the steering catch. No power steering, no power brakes, she screams when you drive cuz the vent windows don't seal properly so you need to leave them cracked open, but when you do that you can hardly hear the person next to you over the wind roar. Her heater don't work, her dash lights are so fucken dim you can't even see them until it's pitch black outside and even then you can barely make out any of the readings, her driver's side door sticks and you gotta breech it with your shoulder to make it open, her emergency brake only engages if you kick the fucken thing like a mule, her dome light don't work, and her headlights are so dim that the highbeams are the only thing what come close to normal brightness headlights.

But her engine purrs heavenly, and she's got good bones, and I love her. I love her for all the work I get to put into her. I love her for everything wrong with her that I get to fix.

Fifty-six years ago tomorrow, my father went to Vietnam. And fifty-six years ago, this car was built. And today, the day before the fifty-sixth anniversary of my dad going to Vietnam in 1968, I've got myself a 1968 Ford F250 Camper Special Custom Cab, my dream car. So here's to brighter days and better tomorrows, and more sunrises than sunsets.

I'm gonna go make myself a drink and wake up at the arsecrack of dawn tomorrow morning so I can wash her before putting her over to the grease monkeys so they can have a crack at her, because sometime this weekend we're heading back south to pick up Tilly from the repairshop, and I'm not driving home in the dark with no fucken lights again.

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Dancing 'til the Break of Dawn - Pt 26

<Pt25

(TWST Zombie apocalypse AU where Yuu beast tames just a little too close to the sun)

They agreed that ‘Christmas’ would be in two weeks. It wasn’t as if they were sure what day Christmas actually was, so they might as well give themselves time to travel and think about what they wanted to get each other.

Not to mention the whole ‘fighting for their life’ thing, which made concentrating on gift-giving difficult. But who cares about that?

Yuu scratched his head as he squinted down at the party bags. Was it worth it to pick those up? It would make it obvious where the presents were. And Yuu did not trust Ace to not look through his presents the night before like a child.

Besides, he didn’t know what he would put in those bags, yet, anyway.

They talked. A lot. But Yuu didn’t actually know that much about Ace’s past. He, of course, would be a hypocrite if he complained about this, considering he’d hidden even his last name from his friends for ages… but he wouldn’t ignore that it made his life difficult.

As for Deuce, when he mentioned his time before the apocalypse, he usually talked about his mom (which Yuu didn’t want to encroach on), or, occasionally, his time as a delinquent (it should be obvious why Yuu wasn’t considering this present-worthy).

Yuu could just make some cookies or something, that would probably be enough for them… but he didn’t want to do that. It felt cheap.

Cheaper than stealing, though? Technically, wasn’t the effort worth more?

Yuu groaned, pressing his face into his hands.

Ugh, when did he become so lame?

~

“Yuu,” said Deuce.

Yuu blinked at him.

Deuce grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him around.

Yuu gave a little gasp of surprise, for the store he’d just been in had spontaneously burst into flames. What an unfortunate act of God!

“I didn’t put my cigarette out all the way. Whoops.”

“And I’m sure it just so happened to land on the bottle of vegetable oil you always carry with you.”

“Life is crazy like that.”

“Mhmm. I’m sure,” Deuce said, smiling wryly. He held a hand out, and Yuu obliged, taking out two cigarettes.

They all had their own lighters. Even Ace, who didn’t smoke. After the incident with Jade and Floyd… well, yeah, they weren’t taking any chances.

That being said, Deuce still flashed a grin as Yuu pulled out his lighter.

Yuu rolled his eyes. “Old habits die hard, hm?”

Regardless, Yuu was perfectly happy to lean in close to Deuce and light both of their cigarettes at once. To save fuel, of course.

Then, he drew back, squinting at the fire he’d accidentally-on-purpose caused. “Did I kill Ace?”

“Nah, he’s trying to figure out where to go next.”

“Does it matter?”

“Seems to matter to him,” Deuce said, shrugging.

And Yuu supposed he didn’t care, so, when Ace came back and pointed in a specific direction, Yuu was happy to agree.

~

The real problem with gift shopping in the apocalypse was… they were in the apocalypse.

Shocking, but true.

Firstly, there were the automatic limitations that came along with the apocalyptic wasteland. Electronics don’t work. Any food you find is almost guaranteed to be stale. Any and every store you visit has already been visited by someone else at least once, meaning every aisle has been picked clean. The selection was limited, to say the least.

Secondly, they would have to carry whatever they found each other. They only really kept a single backpack each and, while they could just start carrying more bags, that would slow them down. Which meant that Yuu was tempted to get them practical things, things that would come in handy in a fight or hygiene products or some kind of food. But that wasn't fun, now, was it?

Thirdly, everything around them was free (to steal). If Yuu really wanted to, he could go into a random toy aisle and pick out everything he liked. Ace and Deuce could do the same. Which begged the question – what could Yuu get them that they couldn’t get for themselves? If they already had access to anything they wanted, then was everything they didn’t pick up automatically something they didn’t want?

Which left what exactly?

Small, sentimental items?

They were teen boys! Yuu would rather kill himself! Maybe Deuce could manage it, he was certainly as soft as a person could be given their circumstances, but Yuu? Ace? They were screwed!

Yuu groaned, running his fingers through his hair.

And then he pulled out his lighter. He needed to let off some steam. Or create steam. Whatever.

~

“Yuu, stop setting the stores on fire,” Ace said, absently lifting a hand to shield his eyes from the light.

“Where did you even get your hands on an accelerant?” Deuce muttered, digging through his backpack and seeming frustrated when he found the cooking oil was right where he left it.

“It was a craft store. The place was practically made of paper. I didn’t need to do much.”

Deuce looked exhausted. “What was the cause of the fire this time? A bug?”

“No. It pissed me off.”

“The store itself? How?!” said Ace, suddenly far more interested.

Yuu shrugged. “The more fires I set, the longer it’ll take for the zombies to feel safe around me.”

“I hope you have beef with more stores. God bless.”

Ace attempted to make a cross over his heart, but seemed to forget halfway through what they looked like and ended up just pressing his hands together in a fake prayer.

“That’s what I thought.”

~

Christmas was upon them, and Yuu had never been so nervous in his life.

Considering it was the apocalypse, this was quite a feat.

Regardless. The three of them sat in a kind of lopsided triangle, their backpacks at their sides.

Deuce gave Ace his present first. It was… a top hat?

Ace blinked at it as it was set in his hands, only to grin as he reached in and pulled out what appeared to be a book on magic tricks.

He then tossed the hat away with a roll of his eyes.

(He had to go back and collect the hat again when, after thumbing through the pages, he realized that the hat actually had a false bottom and could also be used for magic tricks.)

Absently, Yuu wondered if it really counted as magic tricks if Yuu and Deuce knew what the tricks would be ahead of time.

He also wondered how Deuce knew Ace liked this kind of thing. Did they perhaps… have a life outside of him? Conversations that did not include Yuu’s name?

No, impossible. He is, clearly, the center of the universe.

Wait. He forgot about Grim. Grim is… even more in the center? Like – where’s the center of the body? In Yuu’s stomach, maybe? No, that just sounded like he had eaten him… he could workshop that later.

For now, though, Ace was looking at him expectantly, and Yuu hoped to deliver.

“S-so,” Yuu said. Stuttered, really. He was going to kill himself. God damn it. “You know how you’re always fidgeting?”

“I don’t fidget that much,” Ace said.

Yuu glanced down at Ace’s hands. He was currently twirling the magic wand Deuce had given him around his fingers.

Ace also looked down. A flush spread across his face and he was quick to stop. Unfortunately for him, the magic wand was, in fact, a magic wand. Plastic flowers popped out of it, drawing everyone’s eyes right back to the fidgeting.

“... okay, so maybe I fidget a little.”

Yuu strongly disagreed with those last two words. But he was going to let that go. In the spirit of Christmas, or whatever.

He, somewhat awkwardly, pulled a bag of miscellaneous objects out of his backpack. Decks of cards, rings and bracelets, things that were literally called ‘fidget toys’ (Yuu didn’t know what that meant, but he had grabbed them)... his guess was that Ace would prefer the cards, but variety wasn’t a bad thing. He might as well give Ace the option to choose something else, even if he probably wouldn’t.

Because, honestly, Yuu didn’t mind him fidgeting. It was kind of cute, actually... so long as Ace wasn’t fidgeting with a knife, which Yuu had caught him doing more times than he was perfectly comfortable with. Ace hadn’t injured himself that many times, and certainly had never hurt himself too badly, but it was only a matter of time.

“Dude…” said Ace. “How long did it take you to find all this stuff?”

“A normal amount of time,” Yuu blatantly lied to his face. As if he hadn’t just endured the most frustrating two weeks of his life.

Ace decidedly didn’t thank either of his friends, but considering he was already fidgeting with a deck of cards – Yuu did not smile a little knowing he had guessed what Ace would prefer – the appreciation wasn’t exactly hard to notice.

So, it was time for Deuce's presents.

Ace didn’t reach into his backpack for this gift. Instead, he slid a hand behind himself.

And pulled a damn katana out from under his jacket.

Yuu and Deuce’s eyes damn near popped out of their skulls.

“What the fuck,” said Deuce, as he was handed the huge-ass sword. “I should have gotten you way more.”

Ace had never looked this smug before. Which was saying something. “I know, I know, you don’t have to tell me – I’ve won Christmas.”

“It’s not a competitive thing.”

“Those sound like the words of a loser.”

Yuu, however, was coming to an unfortunate realization.

“You stole this from a museum, didn’t you?” He winced internally. “Now that I think about it, that last place did kind of look like a gift shop…”

He had… probably set fire to a ton of national treasures.

Whoops?

Deuce, thankfully, was always there to distract him – “So that’s why you were walking like you had a stick up your ass.”

Ace rolled his eyes. “Well, it’s not exactly small and easy to hide.”

Yuu tipped his head to the side. “And it’s probably why you insisted on going in a specific direction, too…”

“Yeah? What other reason would there be?”

“Honestly? I thought you were just heading North to look for mistletoe,” Yuu admitted.

Ace smirked, leaning closer. “Wishful thinking?”

“Sure,” said Yuu, flicking him on the forehead.

Ace huffed, backing up a little to rub his forehead, only for Deuce to push him out of the way. He leaned into Yuu’s space, his hands out for his present. He looked like a kid on Christmas Day. Which, Yuu supposed, he technically was. Sometimes it was strange to think about. They were all 16 (Ace claimed he was 17, but Yuu and Deuce had vetoed that)...

“You got over the sword so easily!” gaped Ace.

Okay, maybe it was easy to remember sometimes.

Yuu stuck his tongue out at Ace. “It’s ‘cause I’m more likable than you.”

Despite his bravado, Yuu had to take a deep breath before he pulled a camera out of his backpack.

He’d done way too much research to figure out which cameras printed photos immediately and how to develop them. But Deuce didn’t need to know that!

“Here. We should take pictures while we’re here so, when we get out, we can look back on all of this and think ‘dang, that sucked, glad we’re not in the apocalypse anymore’,” Yuu said.

Deuce snorted. “‘Thank god we have running water now’.”

“‘Our hair looked like shit back then’,” Ace said.

Deuce grinned. “This will be great for our therapists.”

“Bold of you to assume Yuu is going to go to therapy,” Ace said.

Yuu spluttered. “What the – why would you call me out? On Christmas?”

Deuce slung his arm around Yuu’s shoulders, dragging him into his side. “Because it’s funny. Ace, quick, snap a picture.”

Yuu tried to school his face into something more normal, but the flash of light was too quick for him.

“I’m not teaching you how to develop film, now,” Yuu sulked.

“Pretty sure you just need a dark room, right?” Deuce said.

Ace glanced up at the dead light bulbs that hung over their heads. “Oh no. Where will we get one of those?”

Fuck! His plans have been foiled!

Yuu huffed. “I’ve never regretted a decision more. Is it possible to take back a gift? Because I’m gonna –.”

“Thanks, Yuu,” Deuce said, smiling softly.

Yuu felt a blush rise to his cheeks. He was not winning today.

“Why’d you thank him and not me?!” Ace said.

Thank you for bringing back the status quo, Ace, Yuu couldn’t handle this amount of sentimentality.

And, fortunately (or unfortunately) for him, his friends seemed to know this.

Deuce jumped to go first, a smug little smirk on his face that made Yuu suspect that he would hate whatever happened next.

Yuu raised an eyebrow at the Rapunzel shirt Deuce offered to him.

“Come on, you’ve got to admit there are some similarities!”

Deuce looked less amused by those similarities when Yuu pulled a frying pan from his backpack and brandished it like a weapon.

Yuu carefully set it back in his lap as a warning that he would totally follow through on, should Deuce’s actual present to him be stupid.

He blinked at the can of axe body spray Deuce offered him.

Like, sure, he appreciated it. Cleanliness was difficult in the apocalypse and all, but uh…

Deuce grinned and pulled out his lighter. He flicked it on, and then, after a quick glance around, aimed the body spray at the flame.

Who knew it was so easy to make a flamethrower out of household items?

Yuu was in love holy shit.

He made grabby hands for the weapon of mass destruction.

“Man, how am I supposed to compete with that?” Ace complained.

Even Yuu wasn’t sure. He cradled the DIY flamethrower to his chest like it was something precious. Because it was.

Ace responded by thrusting his gift into Yuu’s face. Casually. The most casual nearly-throwing-it-at-Yuu-as-if-it-burned-him behavior the world has ever seen.

Yuu rolled his eyes at the ‘Kiss The Cook’ apron he’d been ‘handed’. He did sometimes complain about how often he had to look for new clothes… usually because he had gotten injured again, but regardless, something to guard his clothes while he cooked would also help. So, he pulled it over his head without complaint.

Until he looked down.

Deuce looked a little confused as to why Yuu had gone completely silent, so he followed his gaze, too.

There was a long, long silence.

Deuce, slowly, brought his hand to his mouth, trying to stifle a snort.

He hadn’t needed to, because the sound had finally managed to return Yuu to reality.

“Why – why is the kiss mark so low?! What idiot put it there?!”

Ace’s shoulders shook with barely concealed laughter. “I found it that way. Thought you’d think it was funny.”

“Aren't you supposed to put the kiss mark at the top?” Yuu asked. It wasn’t a rhetorical question, but it wasn’t aimed at Ace or Deuce – it was aimed at the stupidass clothes designer who either had no idea what this looked like or knew exactly what they were doing.

Not that he didn’t love the apron, for all of its stupidity, but holy shit.

Deuce leaned back on his hands, giving an exaggerated glance around. “There’s gotta be lipstick around here somewhere, we can fix that.”

This finally broke Ace and Yuu.

“Not while I’m – wearing it, you idiot!” Yuu said, nearly falling over if it wasn’t for Ace.

Ace wasn’t in much better condition, incredulous little peals of laughter spilling from his lips, but he was more practical as he said, “That wouldn’t get rid of the one at the bottom!”

Once everyone had calmed down (which took a normal amount of time, Yuu promised), Ace nudged Yuu in the side. “I also picked up some fireworks that may or may not work and some ammo for your gun, but that’s not as fun so who cares about that?”

Yuu grinned. “Sweeeeeeet.”

“Not that you use your gun enough for that to be an issue,” Deuce added, smiling as he leaned against Yuu, batting his eyelashes, as if swooning over him. “Our favorite pacifistic loser.”

It was hard to tell who was less impressed – Yuu or Ace.

“Don’t try to discredit my gift!”

“Don’t have to try. I totally won,” said Deuce, smirking. “Right, Yuu?”

Yuu groaned, turning to flop against Deuce to try to make him stop bickering with Ace. Deuce could, sometimes, see reason.

Deuce, however, smirked victoriously. “He chose me to sleep on! Therefore I win!”

"He always sleeps on you -!"

"Exactly."

So much for that hope.

~

Yuu sighed contentedly as the three of them lay on the floor. Deuce was pressed against his back, an arm thrown over the two of them – not quite protectively, Yuu was pretty sure, more as if he thought they were a pillow. As for Ace, he was clingy at night, tangling their legs together, pressing so close to Yuu’s chest that he sometimes thought that Ace was trying to absorb him.

Warm breaths puffed over the back of his shoulder. A heartbeat thrummed against his abdomen, steady and strong even through their shirts.

He would love to fall asleep like this, it was so tempting. But alas. He had to keep watch for another few hours.

He busied himself by absently toying with Ace’s hair, making tons of little braids, only to undo them, and then start all over again.

None of this was new. Of course it wasn’t. They had been sleeping like this for months. The sleeping in shifts part was relatively recent, sure, Grim used to do that for them but now… the point is – it was normal.

And yet, Yuu’s brain refused to be distracted from all of these little details.

It wasn’t that Yuu wasn’t… aware that the way he liked Ace and Deuce wasn’t the way you’re supposed to like your friends.

Friends didn’t get jealous at the idea of their friends dating someone. Friends weren’t supposed to choose to sleep in the same room – the same bed – when they had an entire hotel available to them.

He knew he wasn’t supposed to think about the barely-there sunspots dotting Ace’s cheeks as much as he did, and definitely shouldn’t want to press kisses to every one of them. He shouldn’t think about the scars on Deuce’s hands as often as he did, nor should he want to hold them for hours, carefully mapping out each little indent or bump in his skin.

His mind shouldn’t stray back to that day he and Ace had opened up to each other, when Ace had called him pretty with their faces so close together. He shouldn’t linger on that moment with Deuce, when he’d taught him a different way to light a cigarette, a warm glow washing over his cheeks that couldn’t really be blamed on the small flame.

Yuu was perfectly aware of these thoughts, and that they weren’t exactly platonic. He was also aware there was a high chance that Grim would gather enough courage to show up at some point. And, if Grim found out Yuu was into them, Grim would put a stop to it immediately.

Frankly, the fact that Grim hadn’t caught on yet was a godsend.

He sighed.

As long as he was able to settle for this… in-between… everything should work out.

Of course, that didn’t make it easy.

It was made even harder by Ace and Deuce themselves.

“Holy shit! Mistletoe!” Ace said a few days later, giving an incredulous little laugh, his eyes locked somewhere above their heads.

Yuu followed his gaze.

There was some kind of plant in the tree they were standing under. The plant… was green. Yuu had no other thoughts about it. That was it. It was green. Really, he wasn’t sure what mistletoe looked like. Ace could be lying to him, and he wouldn’t know.

Either way, Ace pointing it out meant something.

Yuu wasn’t stupid.

But he knew someone who was.

He looked at Deuce, grinning. “It’s got more than two leaves and three berries, though, does Deuce even think it’s mistletoe?”

“I mean… I’ve never seen it in person before… it might be,” Deuce said, his eyes flicking away.

Damn it!

Yuu sighed, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I’m abstaining.”

“On what grounds?” Ace snorted.

“On the grounds that Grim would kill you if he saw us kiss, even if it was just a joke.”

Deuce deflated. “Those are some pretty strong grounds.”

“Grim’s not here,” Ace argued. “He doesn’t need to know.”

God, this really does sound like I’m a cheating spouse.

Deuce sighed. “Ace… if he doesn’t want to, he doesn’t have to.”

“He never said he ‘doesn’t want to’,” Ace said, as if it was something significant.

(And, to be fair, it was. That didn’t mean Yuu was happy about it.)

“I know,” Deuce said, with a helpless little shrug. “But if it makes him uncomfortable…”

Ace squinted at Yuu for a long moment.

“If you say it’s ‘for our sake’, then shouldn’t we get to help make that decision?” Ace asked, in a tone that suggested that he thought he was being perfectly reasonable. “You don’t want Grim to kill us, or whatever, but it’s our lives.”

“What, are you planning to die for some –.” Yuu bit down on his tongue. “Some… kissing? I’m so sorry, but that’s clinically insane, and people with mental illnesses aren’t supposed to make important decisions without a third party present.”

“I’m sick and tired of every part of my life being decided by fucking zombies,” Ace said. “They’ve already ruined enough.”

“I refuse to be the reason you die.”

Ace laughed, but it wasn’t exactly a nice sound. He marched forward and balled his fist in Yuu’s shirt. “That might work on Deuce, but don’t pull that shit with me. Deuce and I are dead men walking no matter what. No one on this island is going to get to die of old age. What I do while I wait for death is my own damn decision.”

“Just because you’re going to die doesn’t mean you should speed up the process. Are you stupid?”

“I’m not trying to speed up the process. I’m making the most of the situation while I still can. There’s a difference.”

Yuu groaned. Why couldn’t he just get it?

He took Ace’s chin in his hand, tipping his face to the side just slightly so he could press a kiss to his lips.

It was a quick, chaste thing. Mostly because Ace clearly hadn’t been expecting it. He stood there, stiff as a board, as Yuu kissed him. Both of their lips were chapped after months of dehydration.

Not to say it was a particularly awful kiss, to Yuu’s eternal chagrin. His heart still hammered in his chest. Ace’s skin was still warm, flushed a pretty shade of red beneath his fingers.

Yuu pulled back. It was easy to brush Ace’s hand off of his shirt, as stunned as his ‘friend’ was.

“There. I did the mistletoe thing,” Yuu said, swiping a hand across his mouth, more for the sake of plausible deniability than any real want to get rid of the feeling. He turned to look at Deuce, raising an eyebrow. “Are you going to insist I do it, too?”

Deuce, who had been awkwardly hovering around them the entire time, unsure what to do, shook his head rapidly, holding his hands up in surrender.

“I’d really rather not die, thanks.”

At least someone had sense.

Yuu ran a hand through his hair, spinning around, trying to get his bearings again.

He swore he met eyes with someone in a window but, when he did a double-take, they were gone. His fingernails dug into the skin of his palms. Was that real? Or just his brain messing with him? He could check, but he really didn’t want to know. Damn it. He’d fucked up – kissing Ace, and so publicly at that, out in the open where anyone could catch them…

Yuu felt a hand grab his arm, and turned around to find Ace’s lips against his again.

~~~~~

Pt27>

[allaboutthems]

What Does Your Icon Smell Like?

Mello smells like leather and chocolate, mixed with Matt's cigarettes. Sometimes with expensive cologne.

Matt smells like cigarettes, Cheetos, electronics, more cigarettes, sometimes a little bit of "haven't showered in a couple of days" funk, weed, cheap beer, Mountain Dew, more cigarettes, and just a hint of Mello.

[quick-drawn]

@chronal-anomaly asked: When Jesse was relearning how to work with his prosthetic arm, did he have any sensory difficulties? Did he ever struggle with gripping things too delicately and having them slip from his grasp, or accidentally denting or cracking something from holding it too tightly? Did he ever lack the temperature sensory input and accidentally hand his flesh hand something scalding or freezing without realizing it was like that? 👀

thank you for feeding me spacy, as always.

i've talked about jesse's arm before, but i've been meaning to elaborate on that hc post so i might as well do that here — answering your questions along the way, probably focusing more on how he handles the thing as opposed to how it works.

so, for starters,

i hc that jesse lost his arm during his blackwatch days. we see that he clearly still has his flesh arm in, not only his blackwatch skin, but also the UPRISING comic — which takes place in london, towards the end of his overwatch career. this would probably lead most to believe it was an incident that happened during his vigilante years — i, however, beg to differ.

losing an arm is HARD. and replacing it with a prosthetic isn't cheap. i personally don't believe jesse would have the resources or support needed for either of those things outside of overwatch. i believe the amputation took place during his tussle in london ( on his little " vacation ", during blackwatch's suspension ), further decommissioning blackwatch as a whole.

now, the reason i'm telling you this, is because i need you to understand that this was what's called a TRAUMATIC AMPUTATION, meaning the arm wasn't surgically removed in a controlled environment. because of this, there was pretty significant damage to certain things like his nervous system, the pending port rejection not helping his case. this would make certain things like controlling the prosthetic and reading the incoming sensory input difficult at times.

in case you don't feel like reading that other hc post: the prosthetic jesse receives from overwatch DOES allow for sensory input, meaning he can register things like, temperature and pressure. and it's pretty good at doing so. HOWEVER, because of the damage caused by the amputation and infections following surgery, the accuracy and reliability varies, typically triggered by things like stress and temperature. but overall, on a good day, he's retained somewhere around 90% of his normal movement abilities and input registration. the most noticeable for him being a slight numbness in his thumb, which gets incredibly worse in the cold, sometimes making it difficult for him to grip things.

he's right handed, so it's not too often he'll use the prosthetic for primary movements, but he's dropped a glass or two over the years because of it. he's also done things like pulled open doors and drawers with incredible force, unable to tell how much power is being used. having more power and force available to him is another thing he had to get used to. in a quick knee-jerk response, it may be difficult for him to judge how much force he's putting into his grip or throw if his focus is not on the arm itself.

but, for the most part, he is typically aware of his abilities.

he's used his unmatched grip strength to crush things like phones and other electronic devices. and, with the added bonus of a prosthetic elbow and bicep, he's definitely thrown overly hefty punches and won quite a few arm wrestling matches.

he also uses his prosthetic to hold his cigars and ash his cigarettes, purposefully to avoid burns and tar left behind by the smoke.

now, because he can still register temperature, it's not often he'll do things like, use the prosthetic to grab a hot plate out of the microwave. it was built like this to not only help AVOID situations like forgetting that his other hand is not metal, but also to help aid in PROTECTING it. the thing's not indestructible, and they didn't want him treating it as such. while it's not necessarily fragile, it still has it's limits, like any machine. but, in more pressing situations, he has used it's higher melting point and stress resistance to his advantage.

but, speaking of damage: because of the way the arm is docked, it's typically all or nothing when it comes to both input and output. if he's not getting any sensory response, his arm is also going to be either limp or locked up, unable to control it ( which one depends on how the arm was disabled — it will go limp when properly disconnected from the base, but it will seize up if it's damaged beyond use while connected ). so he hasn't had the exact scenario occur that you stated above, in passing something hot or cold between hands.

BUT, i will say because of this, there was one time a short in a wire caused jesse to be latched onto the handle of the communal fridge for an hour before someone realized he was missing.

[alexjcrowley]

I saved this post a while ago before I even read it, since I had yet to see the movie. Now that I did, I came back.

This is such a wonderful analysis! I truly love it. To be honest, while I watched the movie I wrote down a few points I wanted to discuss and the treatment of women was one of it.

I couldn't word it better than you did, so, if you don't mind, I am just going to add this. I think there are few other examples in recent years of parallel editing as powerful as the one in which Cardinals are arriving at Casa Santa Marta and the nuns are getting the place ready for them.

The nuns arrive first, because the servants arrive first. They're travelling by bus, which is about the chepeast way to travel, and they're all in respecteful silence. As soon as they get off the bus, they set to do their work. They are wearing presumably cheap transaprent raincoats (they look very flimsy to me) that don't cover their head. Sure, they wear a veil, but that just means the veil is going to get wet.

The cardinals all arrive with carry-on luggage, with the implication that many of them travelled by plane (a luxurious and expensive mean of transport), and are greeted enthusiastically with a series of "Long time no see", like they're a bunch of guys in the same travel group who just arrived at a holiday resort or a group of people who is about to attend a week-long convention in some fancy place with all of their business expenses covered. The pope is dead, but they're cheerful more than somber, happy to catch up with old pals. When it starts to rain, they all take out their large, identical, black umbrellas, which fully shield them from the rain.

While the cardinals kill time smoking or playing with their phones, the nuns are getting their room ready. There are a few nuns in the courtyard, but no cardinal speaks to them or greets them. They are invisible for them.

The nuns stock the bathrooms of each room, store electronics away, while the cardinals significantly do nothing, we get a bunch of unexpressive close up on their faces. They're are not doing something else while the nuns work, they're just waiting to be served.

And this is probably my favourite shot from the sequence

Because you see a bunch of cigarettes butts on the floor- which you know, from what you have been shown, have been smoked by the cardinals, who didn't even bother to use ashtray. And because of that, because of the carelessness with which they threw those cigarettes butts on the ground, you know it's not the cardinals who's going to clean them up. Someone else will. And you don't need to be shown who, because you've seen them working for the cardinals until this very moment: it's the nuns.

I think this frame is powerful because, even though you are not shown a scene of a nun sweeping the cigarettes butts, your mind fills that gap. That shot is there to tell you "They did their beds, they run inventory on their techs, they stacked their bathrooms, of course they will also clean after them. That is expected from them." That's why the cardinals leave the cigarettes on the ground, they don't even think of who's going to clean up- it's not them, anyway. It's the nuns. Cardinals are called to serve God and nuns are called to serve them, that's how it is.

Not me scrolling through the Conclave tag only to see no one talk about the deliberate positioning and framing of the women in this movie.

Pulling up this movie I completely expected to only encounter Sister Agnes as the one woman we see in the trailer, the conclave a space that has been kept from the female members of the church. Now, color me surprised when I started the movie and most of the establishing shots we got were focused on all the women working in the Vatican.

And it is such a deliberate choice, it does the film a disservice not to talk about it.

Because while Cardinal Lawrence is having his fifteenth breakdown during sequestering and Bellini finds the ambitious asshole within himself, Ray does all the leg work, and Bel---- we see the women work.

We see the kitchens, we see them cook, we see them stand aside. Most of the time when the Cardinals are conspiring it is the women who interrupt because they are busy working, walking, running errands.

And there is power in that.

I think it is very deliberate how often (and with such lingering gaze) the camera shows us the lives of the other half - partially to connect to the wider themes of the movie, on how Bellini asks for women to get more power but never thanks them, and how Benitez stumps them all by thanking the women preparing their meals when asked to say the prayer (considering his own probably tumultuous relationship to gender within the church).

But it also stands in direct opposition to a long tradition in story telling: servants don't exist. How often the heroes of a regency romance are "alone" because the two hand maidens and three maids don't really count.

Conclave doesn't do that.

It doesn't let us look away.

Between all the petty drama, the politics, and the real life consequences of the conclave, we never stop looking at the people doing all the work.

Yes, we follow the ups and downs of Lawrence and Co, but in doing so the movie reminds us again and again of the women working the kitchen.

And that was just such a powerful artistic choice in a movie about a famously misogynistic church... I loved it. And I had to talk about it.

[metrosmokeshopfl]

Metro Smoke Shop

Location:

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United States

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Metro Smoke Shop is your go-to destination for premium vaping and smoking products in Mt Dora, FL. We offer a wide selection of vape pens, dab pens, dry herb vaporizers, disposable vapes, and high-quality smoking accessories. Whether you're looking for the best vape pen, wax pens for sale, or niche items like electronic vapor cigarettes, we've got you covered. Our friendly staff is here to help you find the perfect product to match your needs. Visit us in-store or explore our website to discover the best in smoking essentials. Open daily from 10 AM to 10 PM!

[ecigguaevapedubai]

The Ultimate Guide to Vape Liquid Shops and E-Juice Delivery

With the growing popularity of vaping, finding a reliable vape liquid shop and securing e-juice delivery near me has become essential for vapers. Whether you're looking for cheap electronic cigarettes, disposable vape brands, or electronic cigarette delivery, the right online store can enhance your vaping experience. If you're in the UAE, ECIGUAE is your go-to destination for premium vaping products and accessories.

Why Choose Online Vape Liquid Shops?

Online vape shops provide numerous benefits, including:

✔ Wide Variety – Access to a vast selection of e-liquids, devices, and accessories. ✔ Competitive Prices – Affordable options, including cheap electronic cigarettes and premium vapes. ✔ Convenience – Order from anywhere and enjoy fast electronic cigarette delivery. ✔ Quality Assurance – Trusted retailers like ECIGUAE guarantee authentic and high-quality products.

Best Vape Liquid Shops in UAE

If you’re searching for the best vape liquid shops, check out ECIGUAE. They offer an extensive range of premium e-juices and nicotine salts, catering to different flavor preferences and nicotine strengths.

Popular Categories Available:

Premium E-Juice – High-quality e-liquids with diverse flavors.

E-Cigarette Devices – Advanced and beginner-friendly vape kits.

Vape Accessories – Coils, batteries, chargers, and more.

Disposable Vape Brands – Convenient, no-maintenance vapes for on-the-go use.

Fast and Reliable E-Juice Delivery Near Me

Finding e-juice delivery near me is crucial for vapers who want their favorite flavors delivered fast. ECIGUAE ensures quick and secure e-liquid delivery across the UAE, making it easy to restock your vape juice without hassle.

Cheap Electronic Cigarettes – Affordable Vaping Solutions

For budget-conscious vapers, cheap electronic cigarettes are a great option. ECIGUAE offers high-quality yet affordable vaping devices, ensuring a cost-effective vaping experience without compromising on performance.

Best Disposable Vape Brands in UAE

Disposable vapes are gaining popularity due to their ease of use and portability. Some of the top disposable vape brands available at ECIGUAE include:

High-Puff Disposable Vapes – Compact and pre-filled with delicious flavors.

Long-Lasting Nicotine Salt Vapes – Smooth and satisfying hits with no need for refilling.

Wide Variety of Flavors – Fruity, menthol, and tobacco blends to suit different preferences.

How to Place an Electronic Cigarette Online Order

Ordering your favorite vape products from ECIGUAE is easy:

Explore the Website – Browse categories like E-Liquids and Disposable Vapes.

Add to Cart – Select your preferred vape products and accessories.

Secure Checkout – Complete your purchase with safe and fast payment options.

Fast Delivery – Enjoy quick and hassle-free electronic cigarette delivery anywhere in the UAE.

Final Thoughts

For the best vape liquid shops, e-juice delivery, and electronic cigarette delivery in the UAE, trust ECIGUAE. Whether you need cheap electronic cigarettes, premium e-liquids, or disposable vape brands, you’ll find everything in one place. Visit ECIGUAE today and enhance your vaping experience!

[vapematch]

Nicotine Vape Juice: Understanding the Basics and Benefits

We are a leading manufacturer of vaping products and hence we are highly committed to providing our customers with the most reliable information they need to make informed decisions regarding their vapingchoices. Here we explore the world of nicotine vape juice and discuss its basics and benefits. From this discussion, you will know what to look for while choosing a high-quality product.

What is Nicotine Vape Juice?

Nicotine vape juice is also known as e-liquid or e-juice. It is a liquid solution manufactured for use in electronic cigarettes and vaping devices. Typically, it contains a combination of propylene glycol (PG), vegetable glycerin (VG), flavorings, and nicotine. The nicotine content can differ through the assortment of nicotine vape juices, ranging from zero to high concentrations. The user is free to choose the right concentration of nicotine based on their preferences.

Benefits of Nicotine Vape Juice

Nicotine vape juice provides several benefits for vapers, especially to those that look forward to transitioning from traditional tobacco products.

Reduced harm: Nicotine vape juice eliminates the combustion process that surrounds smoking. Therefore, it reduces the risk of exposure to toxic chemicals and carcinogens.

Customizable nicotine levels:While buying nicotine vape juices, vapers can choose from a range of nicotine concentrations, letting them to tailor their experience to their individual needs.

Variety of flavors: Nicotine vape juice is made available in a wide array of flavors, from classic tobacco to fruity and dessert-inspired options. Therefore, you can hope to make your vaping experience more diverse and enjoyable.

Convenience: Nicotine vape juice is widely available. Using this is a convenient experience than traditional smoking.

Choosing the Right Nicotine Vape Juice

When selecting a nicotine vape juice, you must consider the following factors:

Nicotine concentration: Choose a nicotine level that best suits your needs. You may choose either from a high concentration used by heavy smokers or a lower concentration used by casual vapers.

PG/VG ratio:You may select a PG/VG ratio that provides you the desired throat hit and vapor production. PG-based juices are known to produce a stronger throat hit, while VG-based juices are meant to create more vapor.

Flavor profile:While buying nicotine vape juice, you may experiment with different flavors to find one that suits your taste preferences.

Brand reputation:While making your choice of nicotine vape juice, it is a smart idea to opt for reputable manufacturers who are known to adhere to strict quality control measures and use high-quality ingredients across their products.

Take Away

Nicotine vape juice is one of the most popular choices among vapers. Nicotine vape juices come as a customizable and convenient alternative to traditional tobacco products. When you understand the basics of nicotine vape juice and consider different factors like nicotine concentration, PG/VG ratio, flavor profile, and brand reputation, you can make informed decisions and pave the road to a satisfying vaping experience. Since we are committed to providing high-quality nicotine vape juice products that can ably meet the diverse needs of our customers, we are the most trusted destination for vaping products.

For more information about Cheap Disposable Vapes Uk and Fruity Vape Flavors please visit:-VapeMatch.co.uk

[thevapegiantt]

Exploring the World of Disposable Vapes: Convenience Meets Affordability

In recent years, disposable vapes have surged in popularity, becoming a go-to option for both seasoned vapers and newcomers. With their convenience, affordability, and variety, they cater to a wide range of preferences. If you’re looking for a “disposable vape near me” or seeking the best disposable vape, this article will guide you through what to consider when making your purchase.

What Are Disposable Vapes?

Disposable vapes are single-use electronic cigarettes designed for convenience. Pre-filled with e-liquid, they come with a built-in battery and require no refilling or charging. Once the e-liquid is depleted, users simply dispose of the device, making them an ideal option for those who want a hassle-free vaping experience. Their compact size also makes them perfect for on-the-go use.

The Appeal of Cheap Disposable Vapes

One of the most attractive features of disposable vapes is their affordability. Cheap disposable vapes are widely available and often come at a fraction of the cost of traditional vaping devices. This accessibility makes it easy for anyone to try vaping without committing to a more expensive setup. You can find budget-friendly options that still deliver great flavor and satisfying nicotine hits.

However, when opting for cheaper alternatives, it’s essential to ensure that you’re still purchasing from reputable brands. Quality should not be sacrificed for cost; look for options that have received positive reviews and have a track record of safety and reliability.

Finding the Best Disposable Vape

When searching for the best disposable vape, consider several factors:

Flavor Variety: Many brands offer an extensive range of flavors, from fruity options like mango and strawberry to classic tobacco and mint. This variety allows users to choose according to their personal taste.

Nicotine Strength: Disposable vapes come in various nicotine strengths, catering to different preferences. Whether you prefer a strong hit or a milder experience, there’s something available for everyone.

Puff Count: Different models offer varying puff counts, typically ranging from 200 to 1,500 puffs. For those who vape frequently, opting for a higher puff count can provide better value for money.

Design and Ergonomics: While functionality is key, the design also matters. Look for a vape that feels comfortable to hold and use, as well as one that fits easily into your pocket or bag.

Brand Reputation: Researching brands is crucial. Look for companies known for their quality control and positive customer feedback. This will ensure that you’re getting a product that is both enjoyable and safe.

Conclusion

As the vaping industry continues to evolve, disposable vapes remain a popular choice for many. Their combination of convenience, affordability, and variety makes them an excellent option for anyone looking to explore vaping. Whether you’re searching for a disposable vape near me or trying to find the “best disposable vape,” it’s important to consider your preferences and choose a product that suits your needs.

For a diverse selection of disposable vapes, be sure to check out The Vape Giant. With an array of flavors and reliable options, you’re sure to find the perfect vape for your lifestyle.

[nicohitvape]

Disposable vape guides

Vaping has become a craze and gained popularity over the last

decade. Recently it has been witnessed that most youngsters are

gradually weaning away from cigarette smoking and are fascinated

with vaping. Vaping gives a lot of choices to the vapers who can

choose delectable flavors from the shelf and control their nicotine

intake too. Nicohit E-liquid has a wide range of disposable vape

flavors, one can visit the website nicohit.co.uk.

What are Disposable vapes? 

Disposable vapes are the outcomes of advanced technology and are

a blessing for those who want to have smooth and hassle-free

vaping. Disposable vapes are commonly referred to as e-cigarettes.

This device is super easy to use for anyone but for those who are

beginners. It is an electronic device and not much time or

understanding is required to assemble it. It is operated with the help

of a battery and an amount of vape juice is already there. Once the

battery is discharged or e-liquid is consumed, an indication to discard

and indulge in a new one. Nicohit E liquids are available in many

varieties and sumptuous flavors from Flerbar such as Disposable

vape Apples, bananas, and mojito plum. Another range at Nicohit

which is most sought-after is the Nasty mix which is a sinful

combination of fruits with sugar.

Anatomy of Disposable vape

The disposable vape constitutes: 

Battery which gives power to the device

Coil which consumes the e-liquid which provides heat to the

device 

A pod, which contains the e-liquid, and nicotine flavorings. 

A mouthpiece through which one can inhale the vapors. 

Notable differences between Disposable and traditional devices

1. Design: Traditional vapes are reusable devices that require

regular maintenance and replacement of parts such as coils,

tanks, and batteries. Disposable vapes, are designed for one-

time use and are discarded after the e-liquid runs out or the

battery gets discharged.

2. Convenience: Since Disposable vapes are a one-time affair in

terms of battery and E-liquid they are more convenient than

traditional vapes as they don't require any maintenance or

charging. They are a boon for new vapers trying to adjust to

vaping after quitting smoking.

3. Nicotine levels: Disposable vapes generally have higher

nicotine levels than traditional vapes, they are meant to be

used for shorter periods and with less frequency.

4. Flavor: Traditional vapes offer a wide array of flavors with

different strengths and variations in sweetness. Disposable

vapes provide a limited range of flavors with a lot of nicotine

strength and sweetness.

5. Cost: Disposable vapes are generally cheaper than traditional

vapes. However, if you use them frequently, the cost can add

up over time. Traditional vapes have a higher upfront cost but

can be more cost-effective in the long run as they can be

reused and maintained

The downside of using Disposable vapes

There are ample advantages to using disposable vapes but there are

a few flaws too. The disposable vape though is cheaper than the

traditional ones but in the long run, it is not a cheap way and does

burn a hole in the pocket. Generally, disposable vapes can range

from around £5 with some more high-end options costing more.

Additionally, it's important to consider the potential health risks

associated with vaping, as well as the environmental impact of

disposing of disposable vapes. 

Use of a disposable vape device

It does not require much effort and loads of instructions to operate a

disposable vape device. The device comes in a sealed package and

after opening it, activate the device by following the instructions on

the package, or in certain cases, it is automatically activated once

you start inhaling. Once the battery is discharged or runs out of

liquid, it is time to dispose of it.

Though as with everything disposable vapes have their pros and

cons. But still, it has ensured that many chain smokers have

smoothly transitioned to vaping without much hassle.

Nicohit E-liquid provides a diverse range of vape juices and

disposable vapes and is one of the prominent wholesale suppliers in

the UK.

[disease-danger-darkness-silence]

To grab ahead of time, or to keep your eye out for in the situation, that can make things easier:

If you bleed and can use them, consider getting silicone, reusable menstrual discs or cups. You can get them at an OK price if you shop around. Something you can wash, boil, reuse, etc. Can be invaluable.

Socks. I cannot overstress how important socks are. They prevent BO that makes you un-hireable, and they prevent you from getting super cold feet.

Pillow cases. Just empty pillowcases. Good for pushing things into to make an en-situ pillow, storing laundry, or extra luggage.

Condoms. Sounds weird but you can get them for free from most public health places, and they're great for wrapping electronics in to keep them from getting wet (wrap in a paper towel or something first).

If you have the space, a small tarp! They can be used to lay on or protect you from water. Keep an eye out at Harbor Freight and places like that, sometimes they have them for cheap or even as free gifts with purchase, and the 5x5 size is small enough to fit like a book into a bag when folded.

The bag needs to be comfy and preferably water-resistant. I personally like the ones that have variable contents storage - the top zips and rolls down. That way you can adjust your space. If you can FIND a small hiking bag with a frame for cheap, that's honestly best, because it'll give you support throughout the day. But if not, comfy straps = very important. I also like backpacks that have the luggage wheel thing going on, because you have two modes of transport there. But! A collapsible hand truck style dolly can be used to jury rig this up, with some cheap bungee cords. Those go for helllllla cheap at Harbor Freight.

Twine, yarn, paracord. Something you can bundle small and shove into any old pocket. Useful for tying shit to your bag.

A cup or bottle to fill at water fountains, if you can't bring water. Hell, even then. A bota bag can be gotten for cheap at Walmart, and lots of places give collapsible cups away as free swag. Just keep your eye out.

If you have a long medical history and complicated diagnoses, you'll want to prepare a medical binder ahead of time and keep it near the bag. Also, I keep all of my bottles of meds in a bag together and just do weekly pill containers. Do I feel old when I fill them every Sunday? Yes. Does it mean I can quickly grab all of my meds in an emergency? Also yes.

If you smoke cigarettes - look, it's a thing - I suggest trying to get some nicotine gum or losenges to keep around. Withdrawal from nicotine can be fatal if it's sudden. You wanna wean.

5-foot extension cord. Just a dinky dollar store one. Something to let you get to an outlet without leaving your phone laying around.

Extra gallon Ziplocs.

70% Isopropyl alcohol. It kills smell bacteria and can help remove stains and clean shoes. I keep a little spray bottle in my purse.

Little.

Any sentimental things you absolutely cannot replace, keep in like a plastic tote. You can bury it, store it with a friend, throw it in the car, whatever. But always try to keep it to something no bigger than a bankers box in size, preferably smaller.

If you have things you could pawn or sell if necessary but don't use them regularly, either sell them now, or keep them in another small tote.

Spare glasses. If you wear contact lenses, keep your spares with your meds so you can grab n go. Trust me, you do not want to lose or break your glasses and be without sight in a situation like this.

Hey! I thought your talk on stream about your go-bag and what's in it was interesting, but I process text better than audio, so I was wondering if you had advice on putting one together? It's fine if you'd rather not! Thanks either way!

Okay! Note that some of these things are gearing up in prep for sudden homelessness or natural disaster (tornados, personally) but some are just generally good things on hand you might need to keep. Also, some tips involve a car, skip those if they dont apply.

You're going to want a backpack or duffle bag with comfortable enough straps that are thick and sturdy enough to hold the weight of everything you are carrying while also keeping you balanced. I got my blue one at a charity give away for students in poverty, those heavy duty school bags for textbooks, but you can thrift the same bags for around $5-$10, at least in my area.

What I have in the front pockets, in smaller ziplock bags:

Ziplock bag of first aid supplies (bandaids, gauze, sterile wipes, ect)

Small hand sanitizer, bottle or wipes.

Baby wipes, water based.

Matches

Small travel deoderant, small travel shampoo, travel hairbrush, and the bare minimal needed for a 'freshed up look' of make up like concealer, mascera, and face wash. Good for spucing up for job interviews if you end up in a situation where you're living out of your car, and can't acsess a full bathroom.

Menustration products. Pack SEVERAL if you are someone who bleeds, or a few if you just want some on hand just in case for someone else you are with.

Mouthwash, toothbrush and toothpaste. If you don't have enough room, opt for mouthwash/toothpaste combo, and just rub it on your teeth.

Self-protection, dependant on what you prefer. I keep pepper spray and a tazor in the car at all times, and in the bag if not out in the console.

Pocket knife and scissors. You never know when you might need to cut something.

If you can get some and they fit in the bag: Gloves meant for gardening. Thick enough to protect you if you go dumpster diving. I have a list of tips of safe and legal dumpster diving here.

What I keep in the main pocket of the bag:

A large gallon ziplock baggy with emergency clothes in it, consisting of: Pants, short sleeve T-shirt, and 3 pairs of underwear/socks. If you can fit it, slip a long-sleeve shirt in there as well. Keep a 'nice shirt' like a button up or something 'nice casual' in there for job interviews.

You're going to want a jacket in your go-bag, but since they can be bulky, it might be best to just leave one in your car. Also good for when you're out somewhere and just get cold suddenly.

RAIN! I have a small one-person umbrella in the side pocket of my bag, and a yellow poncho from walmart in main pocket. I recommend having both, but its fine if you just can fit one.

A bag of COMFY clothes, aside from the intial emergency clothes. For me, I call it the pajamma bag, which just has a pair of sweatpants, T-shirt and fuzzy socks.

FOOD AND WATER. I keep ziplock baggies of non-perishable food in the bag like: granola bars, slim jims, fruit gummies, cans of preserved fruit, ect. You need to pack at least 2 bottles of water. I think I freaked out Twitch stream a little bit when I pulled out 6 bottles of water out of the bag, but I'm telling you: the more water you can carry, the better.

The 'entertainment satchel', which is basically anything that you can do that doesn't require electricity like your phone does that can keep you busy. For me, it's a ziplock bag of a journal/sketchbook with some colored pens. This can be a small book or something.

A sewing kit. One of those travel ones, the tiny tin ones. Comes in handy plenty of times.

A water-tight folder/baggie that will protect legal documents for you. You probably wont keep them in the car, but if you can grab them on your way out, keep them safe in something they can't get damaged in.

A portable battery, a cord for charging your phone and extra wall thingie to plug it into. You can get a decent battery for around 20 bucks on amazon, and your car and public spaces like a library can let you charge your phone.

PETS! If you have a pet with you, PLEASE pack the things needed for them ahead of time in your go-bag. Doggy bags and treats and food and the like. I'm a cat person, so I keep three ziplock baggies: one with treats, a large one with food, and one with cat litter in it. You can usually grab a cardboard box by a dumpster for a make-shift litterbox if need be.

Depending on who you talk to, money may or may not be a smart thing to keep in your bag, but I say keep at least $50 of cash in there for absolute emergencies, if you can afford to store it.

An extra pair of shoes. If they don't fit in the bag, you can store them in the car, or tie them to hang off the bag if you really need them.

Also, not really go-bag related, but I suggest keeping a blanket in your car. If you don't have a car, they make blankets with straps that you can attatch to your backpack, or you can take a long sock or piece of fabric, wrap it around a rolled up blanket, and tie it to your bag. It might not look aesthetic, but it'll be worth it to have it.

Change out the items in your bag every couple months, usually as it starts to get colder or hotter. Currently I'm changing out my stuff from summer items to winter items, like warmer clothes and what not, so I had the bag already near me to show twitch chat. Thanks for everyone that came by Twitch chat and talked by the way, it was fun!

[digistroyer]

Old and New News - Jul. 8 -

How much of art is someone reminding themselves they're going to die? If it's this summer than none of it.

The now is about living, breathing, walking, spending, waking up late, having less money, learning to show up on time, sweating [it is warm out], making coffee at the dorm, taking as many small bites as possible, playing point and click mystery games, falling out of love with misery ( i think we've broken up), dessert cigarettes, alcohol-free mouth wash, collecting cards to keep your moments, various medical procedures, an on and off crush for a corporate retirement, afternoons at the pier, the foam dissolving after crashing into the shore, meeting your online friends after 7 years, a friend's honest understanding, pictures from your family's vacation, trying to remember the tops of every building, finding a place to sit, "have I seen you before?", cameos in scripted interviews, trying to get 9 people to agree on a restaurant, finding air conditioning, 8 hour Saturday art classes, laughing about ham and cheese on a roll, trying to explain your internship, doing your homework earlier, being a part of others' projects, two trips to the movies in one week, colors, aura, cheap pizza, expensive drinks, a revitalized interest in electronic music, your shoes falling apart when you're being too harsh, the smell of cinnamon, trapezoids, questions about the collar bone, the same 36 dollars swing dancing around venmo accounts, making fun of the intern bar, not so much wearing a backpack, that one green album, that one song about karma, that one feeling about growing up, that one moment where everything changed, then the next, then the next, then when life went on, then when i couldn't find a place to get a haircut, when i started calling my dad, when i overpaid for strawberry matcha, then the next one, when i didn't know what eschatology means, when i spent the whole day thrifting and didn't buy anything, and when i learned to smile in pictures...

next i'm buying a water bottle.

[vapehk1]

Are Vapes Allowed on Planes? Your Ultimate Guide to Puffing on the Go

Traveling by air can be a high-stress experience, especially for vapers who are unsure about the rules surrounding their beloved e-cigarettes. The skies may be friendly, but the rules about vaping can be anything but clear. So, are vapes allowed on planes? Grab your carry-on and join us on this entertaining and informative journey through the clouds as we unravel the mysteries of vaping at 30,000 feet. Spoiler alert: you might want to leave your cloud-chasing ambitions on the ground! Packing Your Vape Gear – The Dos and Don'ts Vape Gear in Your Carry-On First things first, let's talk about packing. The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) has a few rules that vapers need to follow. According to TSA guidelines, you can carry your e-cigarette and vape pens in your carry-on luggage. However, there are a few caveats. Lithium batteries, the lifeblood of your device, must also be in your carry-on. This rule is in place because lithium batteries have a nasty habit of catching fire. And let's face it, nothing ruins a flight faster than an impromptu fire drill at 30,000 feet. So, pack those batteries in your carry-on and keep the skies friendly! Liquids and E-Juice Regulations Now, what about those deliciously flavored e-juices? The TSA has you covered here too, but not without its quirks. E-liquids fall under the same liquid restrictions as shampoo, lotion, and that mysterious bottle of cologne you never use. This means each container should not exceed 3.4 ounces (100 milliliters), and all your liquids should fit into a single quart-sized, clear plastic bag. Sure, it sounds like a lot of rules, but think of it as a mini-game of Tetris. And remember, a well-packed bag is a happy bag! The In-Flight Vaping Rules – Turbulence Ahead Vaping in the Lavatory Alright, you've successfully navigated security. Now comes the tricky part – the flight itself. As tempting as it might be to sneak a quick puff in the lavatory, resist the urge. Airplane smoke detectors are no joke. They're incredibly sensitive and designed to detect even the smallest amount of smoke or vapor. If you set off the alarm, you'll not only face the wrath of the flight crew but also a hefty fine. Plus, you might find yourself explaining your actions to airport security upon landing. So, let's keep those vape clouds grounded and enjoy the flight without any additional turbulence. Friendly Skies, Strict Rules Airlines are pretty clear on their stance: vaping is strictly prohibited on flights. This includes all forms of electronic smoking devices, whether you're in first class or back in the cheap seats. The ban is in place to ensure the comfort and safety of all passengers. Besides, no one wants to sit next to a human fog machine for several hours. So, put your vape pen away, sit back, relax, and maybe enjoy an in-flight movie instead. Trust us, it's better than facing the stern look of a flight attendant. Navigating Layovers – To Vape or Not to Vape? Airport Designated Smoking Areas Layovers can be a mixed bag. On one hand, they give you a break from the confines of the plane; on the other, they can be a challenge for vapers. Most airports have designated smoking areas where you can legally vape. These areas are typically outside the terminal, so you might need to go through security again. It's a bit of a hassle, but hey, it's a chance to stretch your legs and get some fresh (or not-so-fresh) air. Just follow the signs or ask an airport employee to point you in the right direction. International Layovers and Local Laws When you're traveling internationally, things can get even more complicated. Each country has its own set of rules regarding vaping. For instance, in some countries, vaping is completely banned, while others might have more lenient regulations. Before you start your journey, it's a good idea to research the vaping laws of your destination and any layover countries. This will save you from any unpleasant surprises and ensure that you stay on the right side of the law. Remember, when in doubt, it's better to ask than to risk a fine or confiscation of your gear. Post-Flight – Puffing and Recharging Arrival at Your Destination Congratulations! You've made it through the flight without incident. Now, it's time to get back to your vaping routine. Most airports have designated smoking areas where you can finally take that much-needed puff. However, before you start blowing clouds, make sure you're aware of the local laws and regulations. Some places have strict anti-smoking and vaping laws, and you don't want to start your trip with a run-in with local authorities. A quick Google search or a chat with a local can save you a lot of trouble. Recharging and Relaxing Once you've settled into your hotel or Airbnb, it's time to recharge – both yourself and your vape. Find a cozy spot, plug in your device, and take a moment to relax. You've earned it! Traveling can be stressful, but with a little planning and patience, you can enjoy your vape without any hassles. So, sit back, take a deep breath (of fresh air), and enjoy your trip. And remember, the next time you're asked, "Are vapes allowed on planes?" you'll be the one with all the answers. Conclusion Navigating the world of vaping while traveling by air can be tricky, but it's not impossible. This ultimate guide offers a humorous and relaxed approach to understanding the do's and don'ts of flying with vape gear. From packing your e-cigarettes and e-liquids in your carry-on to respecting in-flight no-vaping policies, this guide covers all the bases. It also highlights the importance of being aware of local laws during layovers and at your destination. With careful planning and adherence to regulations, you can enjoy a smooth and stress-free travel experience, vape in hand (or in carry-on). Safe travels and happy vaping! FAQs 1. Can I bring my vape on a plane? Yes, you can bring your vape on a plane, but there are specific guidelines you need to follow. Vapes and e-cigarettes must be packed in your carry-on luggage, not in your checked baggage, due to the fire risk associated with lithium batteries. Additionally, e-liquids must comply with the TSA's liquid restrictions, meaning each container should be no larger than 3.4 ounces (100 milliliters) and all containers must fit into a single quart-sized, clear plastic bag. 2. Can I use my vape during the flight? No, you cannot use your vape during the flight. Vaping is strictly prohibited on all airlines. Attempting to vape, even in the lavatory, can trigger smoke alarms and result in severe consequences, including fines and potential legal action. It’s best to respect the rules and enjoy your flight without attempting to vape. 3. Where can I vape during a layover? During a layover, you can usually vape in designated smoking areas at the airport. These areas are often located outside the terminal, meaning you might need to go through security again to re-enter the airport. Always follow the signs to the smoking areas or ask airport staff for directions to avoid vaping in restricted areas and potentially facing fines. 4. Are there different vaping rules for international flights? Yes, vaping rules can vary significantly for international flights, especially concerning layovers and your destination country. Each country has its own regulations regarding vaping, with some countries having stricter laws than others. It’s important to research the vaping laws of your destination and any countries where you have layovers to ensure compliance and avoid any legal issues. 5. What should I do with my vape upon arrival at my destination? Upon arrival, you should locate the designated smoking areas at the airport to use your vape. Additionally, familiarize yourself with the local vaping laws and regulations to avoid fines or confiscation of your vape gear. A quick online search or asking a local can help you understand where and when you can legally vape in your destination. Read the full article