#chat this is so humiliating

[cherrymoonvol6]

.

[mohntilyet]

i’m having illario dellamorte thoughts. what if instead of knowingly betraying lucanis he did it like, unknowingly. idk how this would work but i’m intrigued by what it gives us. illario ‘i accidentally caused my cousin’s death & can never tell anyone’ dellamorte. genuinely grieving. blaming himself. does he take advantage of the year before lucanis comes back?? does caterina still ignore him the whole time?? how different is the canon plotline once rook shows up with lucanis post-rescue…..

anyways i would love your thoughts!!

95% of what i do with illario operates on the idea that he is frighteningly competent so you can see why the way the crows plotline plays out in the game might frustrate me. it’s also this reason why i don’t actually think too much about “illario got lucanis killed, but didn’t mean to do it”, because i like the idea that everything illario does in his life is planned to the second and that he’s too well trained to mess up this badly, if that makes sense. with that being said. 5% of my brain power does sometimes go towards “and what if he just sucked actually” and it was a theory i enjoyed before the game even released. so i have in fact been thinking about this anyway LOL . maybe he tries to honeypot zara, accidentally actually reveals lucanis’ next assassination job, and zara gets rid of him as a ‘gift’. illario is horrified and that gets even worse when lucanis’ body shows up, and he assumes this must be because he spurned zara by leaving her and not having the guts to seize power.

i think we could make his inferiority complex worse. illario’s worst fear confirmed: he is as worthless as his grandmother believes he is, botching something so badly that he accidentally sentences his cousin to death when what he wanted was lucanis just… out of the way for a bit (maybe while he kills caterina. LOL. i still think his resentment of caterina trumps his jealousy for lucanis though those two things are very intertwined its hard for him to differentiate them). so incapable that he got the only person who actually supports him killed, and now he’s dreading the idea of becoming first talon. he doesn’t want first talon without lucanis backing him, and now the only person left is caterina which is suffocating and makes him even unhappier. at least he hadn’t lived through her alone, and now through consequences of his own decisions, illario has no choice but to.

i think that would affect his plans for talon because of how horribly he’d fucked up, and tries to mask it because if he suddenly actually doesn’t want to be talon that would be a red flag for everyone. lucanis coming back would delight him (talon is within his sights again if lucanis comes back!) and freak him out. i think the plotline would actually be pretty similar because of this freak out, so he still shows up to zara’s fight to cover his tracks. lucanis can never know, caterina can never know, because what little faith they have in him will be lost. like he committed fratricide and didn’t even MEAN to😭 ...corpse whispering still happens, and zara is like “ohhh that coward. he can never finish what he started, can he?” + “elaborate.” + “i gave him what he most wanted in the world and instead of being grateful, he ran away.” so lucanis finds out about what happened but feels a mix of “illario, you idiot” + pity because turns out he didn’t even mean for it to happen, and keeps his secret for now, otherwise he’d probably have to kill him.

i also think not meaning to kill lucanis would sour his feelings towards the venatori, who are a reminder of how badly he failed, so the alliance wouldn’t happen. this does mean if the story goes on as it does in canon, he has to take desperate measures another way and kidnap caterina for some other reason but i can’t think of why….. maybe a thing where illario is like “ok. lucanis is distracted by the elven gods. this time i just have to kill nonna for real and then nothing is in my way” and recruits disgraced houses or houses that don’t like caterina to do so? not sure tbh but i don’t believe caterina made it so far without making enemies lol. this would happen post bloodbath + corpse whispering— lucanis leaves his cousin unchecked because while he knows illario didn’t mean for him to die, he has no idea how far he would go to have caterina dead. teia could find out about this and send word to foil the kidnapping and assassination attempt

so ‘murder of crows’ is still about saving caterina, the illario-lucanis fight still happens, but it’s a little more hesitant and lots of “why won’t you just let me kill her? i’m doing this for the both of us”. he’s had to live with being the un-favorite, but never would have thought lucanis would actually pick caterina if it came down to it. with all of his missteps here, i think the final decision (and i think it should be like this in canon anyway) would be to imprison illario or kill him. imprisoning him is just a lot of “i can’t kill illario as much as he couldn’t kill me”, vs killing him as is expected from him as talon, and what he knew he would have to do after finding out about illario's failures. unlike canon, where illario is actually meaning to kill him and can be seen as a 'good crow' despite the sloppiness, here he's like. just bad at everything. the allied traitor houses that went against caterina would also have to be imprisoned or killed. no happy ending at all here, and lucanis still becomes first talon. now that i’ve written it out this is actually probably the worst ending LOL

the above sticks a lot to what is canon to the game (plot points, choices, etc) and i didn’t go very far away from it so it's like canon 3 inches to the left. tho my thoughts on this are not fleshed out* because i think illario works better as an antagonist character that sets things in motion !! not necessarily the villain in a cain-abel story, but a character who opposes lucanis while still not wanting to hurt him. that kind of discipline where he finds a way to get what he wants (first talon) without compromising what he also cares for (family) is so much more fun for me than a man who apparently just loses it and decides to enact a bad plan to get rid of his cousin. if he waited 20+ years to become talon i think he’d be more careful when it came down to it. if i had my way illario would be playing insane 5d chess to rival solas (insert black sails “i once thought that to lead, to be liked was just as good as feared. and that may very well be true. but to be both liked and feared all at once, is an entirely different state of being.”)

[merakiui]

angel and devil on your shoulder as the leech twins except they’re both devils they just argue who’s bad idea u should do XD

OOOOOO omg devil!Jade who is always up to no good... and then angel!Floyd who is objectively the worst angel ever. T_T he's the least holy angel you'll ever meet (he's committing sacrilege daily and archangel Rollo is going to kick him out of heaven for one more infraction), but at least he's sort of good at his job (i.e. he's good at lazing around and putting good vibes out into the world)???

He's assigned to you as your guardian angel and all is well until Jade worms his way into your life, ready to lead you astray with all sorts of mischievous temptation. He's the soggiest incubus you've ever met because he thought it'd be cute to look pathetic and hungry, but you refuse to let him feed from you and now he just looks silly when he's all splayed out on your bed like a nude model in his skimpy outfit. :( mission failed successfully? Because now he's so whipped for you, the only human who's able to resist all of his charms. He thinks he'll stay for a while; your home is very comfortable. <3

Floyd's kicking him out because you're his human shrimpy. It's his job to look after and protect you. Jade is not welcomed here. >:( Floyd's jealousy gets the better of him and maybe he's being petty when he blesses your house and puts all sorts of magical seals and enchantments on it to ward off devils like Jade, but this is only because he wants you all to himself. How else can he possibly have a chance with you if Jade's so annoyingly relentless with his attempts to charm you into sex? T_T

[apolleo]

did some of my worst ever socialising at a lunch party tbe other day and forgot to tell you guys omg

[bluebellhairpin]

the real question now is; am I brave enough to post this new art com sheet I've spent the last two hours putting together, or do I take the non-humiliating option and leave it in the void that is my drafts.

[crybaby-bkg]

I have an 89.5 in my bio class rn and my therapist asked me, since that was my hardest class that I kept getting frustrated at, how did I still score so high in that class? so I told her that it’s bc I mentally checked out and instead of stressing over every little detail in that class, I just did what I could and hoped for the best. and she asked me why didn’t I apply that same ideology to the other things in my life that I stress a fuck ton about? and bitch omfg why is she right

[allhailthe70shousewife]

Remember a few years ago when Madonna was onstage doing a concert and got on a tricycle and rode around crying and moaning to the audience about how “mean” her minor teenaged child was to her because he didn’t play along with her antics and how AWFUL and SAD and UNFAIR it was?

Good times.

[bredforloyalty]

mmhmm

[sunspira]

mentioning "genshin impact" to my therapist has been the most humiliating moment of my young life

[transgods]

handed it in 1.5 hours late and its really shitty so im gonna go throw up and hopefully just pass out entirely

[motoroil-recs]

I just wanted to say that seeing how open you are to like EVERY fandom makes me so happy,,, stuff like Eddsworld and all is usually on people's blacklists and it's so cool seeing someone who just!! Doesn't really have sources blacklisted

(NOTHING AGAINST PEOPLE WITH BLACKLISTS BTW!!! I totally understand having a blacklist, I have one myself, it's super valid)

ALSO your stimboards are sO GOOD I love them so much, sometimes I just scroll on this page and look at them all because they're eye candy

I should probably start signing off because I send asks here a lot

-⭐️

[PS: this is that one Bive kin!! I've sent some other casual asks in here too!]

Thank you! I tend to keep kind asks like this one in my inbox for safekeeping, but this one touched on something I find really interesting!

Obviously blacklists have an important and valuable purpose in kin blogs, this is a free service people are offering, after all, the least they should be allowed to do is establish their limits of what they aren't willing to work on. But, in my case, I think that the kin experience can often be a very solitary one, not often by choice. Folks in this community can be very very anxious and hesitant to approach and open up in fear of being judged or hurt, which is obviously a huge shame. I've seen how people in this community can take their sources being condemned by others to heart, and I would hate to contribute to that.

At the end of the day, I love participating in this community, I love making things for it and I love being able to meet all of the endlessly unique people within it, even if it's only for a fleeting moment. To blacklist sources would be to potentially cut off those possibilities of connection that could've otherwise been meaningful or pleasant. I like to assume that, regardless of what media they associate themselves with, the people of the kin community are kind. And so I'm happy to help them however I can.

And I'm glad that's come across with my actions so far! It means the absolute world to me, and I hope to be able to continue to be as helpful as possible to all those that need it!

Thank you so much for your kind words, Bive! I hope to be seeing you around more often.

[seakicker]

give us the anal thoughts !! anyone in particular OwO? 🐶

STOP GIRL U KNOW IM THE MOST PREDICTABLE PERSON ON EARTH….. i’m very much a beginner with no experience when it comes to anal so i think it would be very nice if he trained my ass some yknow what i mean… i can’t take anything bigger than an inch in diameter rn and i’m kinda nervous to size up to a bigger plug but i feel like childe would be the best anal trainer on earth

[fantasmadelaciudad]

just realized the only way i would want to meet a celebrity/famous person i liked was in an interview setting. whether that’s them interviewing me or me interviewing them. that sounds way more fun than running into like. gerard way in westwood and asking them for an autograph.

[cherry-shipping]

hrhrrrhhg. wwuz lookin 4 kissing gifs here on tumblr to put on one of eebs posts & one of them was a. s*riel animation ive seen before and i closed my eyes and scrolled past But even just that one look at it made me be like. ok Time 2 b on the verge of tears for a good 30 minutes now 👍 like ok. fucking loser.

[aesopesbaby]

Fumbled a tie in 2v8 so badly that I had to close IDV for a moment

[fuckacoke]

Why are my only states mutism or yapping