#chat — bree brown. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

v6quewrlds · 2 months ago

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❝ borderline, j. burrow & t. higgins. ❞ ‎ ‎ ┉

‎ ‎ ⁎⠀┉⠀summary: working in and around the nfl for years, there aren't many people in the league who can knock you off your game. by some twist of fate, two of them show up together, hoping to lure you into their orbit.

‎ ‎ ⁎⠀┉⠀author's note: as requested by an anon <3 pls don't read if you're uncomfortable with this concept. didn't really know how to end this one so it's ambiguous lmao did this lowkey give me an idea for a pt 2? maybe. joe calls reader "sweetheart", tee calls reader "baby".

‎ ‎ ⁎⠀┉⠀warnings: smut, please do not interact with my work if you are under 18. language, friends to lovers (?) the plural is intentional, threesome, fingering, eiffel tower but not really, blowjob, face fucking, cum eating, facial, somewhat dom!joe, switch!tee, pre-meditated threesome if you squint, praise kink.

‎ ‎ ⁎⠀┉⠀pairing: joe burrow x reader x tee higgins.

‎ ‎ ⁎⠀┉⠀word count: 6.8k.

You walked through the grand hotel lobby, your stilettos clicking against the marble floor. Your emerald green dress clung to your body like a glove, drawing the occasional admiring glance. You had looked forward to this wedding the entire season, eager to see your favorite players and closest friends all congregated in one place. As a sports journalist, you had become accustomed to the glitz and glamour of high-profile events, but this one felt different. It was personal.

The reception area was a flurry of activity as guests mingled and waitstaff glided around with trays of hors d'oeuvres and sparkling drinks. The scent of expensive perfumes and cologne hung in the air, mixed with the faint aroma of roasting meat from the nearby dining hall.

You spotted your close friend Bree chatting with a few other guests, her eyes lighting up when she caught sight of you. Bree waved you over, gesturing to the table you had been assigned. To your surprise, Joe Burrow and Tee Higgins, two of the Cincinnati Bengals' star players, were already seated at the table, sipping on their drinks and looking dapper in their tuxedos.

"Hey, y'all," you greeted them with a bright smile, placing your clutch on the table. "I didn't know you two were close to Amber and Dan."

Joe's smile was warm, but his sarcasm was as sharp as ever, his eyes crinkling as he took a sip of his whiskey. "To be honest, I'm not sure why I was invited. Maybe they felt sorry for me because I don't get out much." The admission drew chuckles from the rest of the table, but you knew him well enough to detect the hint of self-deprecating playfulness in his voice.

Tee spoke up next, his signature soft-spoken confidence unwavering even amidst the buzz of the crowded room. "I've known Amber since college, actually. Her sister dated my roommate." He leaned back in his seat, a glass of champagne in hand, his eyes lingering on your face as he took a sip. "You close with Daniel?"

You nodded, feeling a rush of pride as you thought of your career achievements. "Yeah, I've had some pretty memorable interviews with him. The sit-down I did with him after his knee injury helped me land my gig on First Take." You took a sip of your own drink, the cool liquid doing little to quell the heat rising in your cheeks as you weathered the intense gazes of the two athletes.

"How sweet," Joe said with a smirk, raising his glass of whiskey in a mock toast. "Is that why you swore he was league MVP last season?"

You rolled your eyes, but couldn't help the laugh that bubbled up from your chest. "Okay, okay, I might have been a bit biased. But I owed him for that interview," you took a sip of your drink, the cool liquid sliding down your throat, your eyes dancing with mischief. "Were you jealous?"

Joe's smirk grew wider, his blue eyes flickered over to Tee's brown ones before moving back to find yours. "Maybe a little," he admitted, his hand landing casually on your thigh, sending a jolt of excitement through your body. You felt the heat rising from his palm through the thin fabric of your dress, and you couldn't help but lean into his touch.

As if sensing it was his turn to flirt with you, Tee leaned closer, his hand ghosting against your shoulder as it fell over the back of your chair. "How's First Take going for you? Still holding your own against Stephen A?" His voice was a smooth rumble, and you couldn't help but smile, the tension easing a bit.

"I defended you guys last week, you know," you said with a smirk, swirling the ice in your drink. "Told him you're both underappreciated."

Joe's eyes lit up. "You did?" His hand fell heavier around your thigh as Tee's fingers traced lazy circles into your exposed skin, the warmth of their body heat seeping into your very soul. "I knew I liked you for a reason."

The words left his mouth casually, but you felt a flutter in your stomach. Tee's accompanying laugh did little to ease the tension that had suddenly thickened the air around the three of you.

The conversation grew more intimate, their touches lingering longer, the air around you crackling with unspoken desires. You felt the weight of their gazes on you, the way they studied your every move, every breath. It was like being the star of their own private show, and you found yourself playing up to their attention, your laughs a little louder, your movements a little more exaggerated.

Bree had long disappeared into the crowded dance floor, leaving you alone with Joe and Tee. Your conversation grew quieter, and more intimate, as you shared stories of your lives outside of football. You felt a strange connection with the two men, a bond that extended beyond the superficial. You tried your best to ignore the heat building between your legs as Joe's fingers traced patterns into your bare skin. Tee's thumb pressing into the pressure point at the back of your neck sent a shiver down your spine.

The music grew louder, the rhythm pulsing through the floor and into your bodies. The lights grew dimmer, casting a seductive glow over the three of you. You found yourself leaning into Tee's touch, your eyes locked onto Joe's as he spoke about his most recent charity event for his foundation. His words cast a sharp contrast with the deep, soothing, seduction of his voice.

The conversation grew more flirty, Joe's hand sliding further up your thigh under the cover of the tablecloth. You gasped, trying to keep your cool, but the heat of his touch was like a brand on your skin. Tee noticed your reaction and leaned in, whispering something to Joe that made his eyes darken with desire.

"You good?" Tee asked, his voice a soft rumble against your ear. You nodded, your voice a little shaky. "Yeah, I'm okay." But you weren't okay; your nerves were on fire, the anticipation building like a storm in your chest.

The tension at the table grew so thick it was almost tangible, your eyes speaking volumes in the dimly lit room. When Joe leaned in closer, his breath a warm caress against your neck, you couldn't resist anymore. You turned to him, your eyes asking him a silent question, unwilling to potentially tip off a noisy guest to your newfound chemistry. Tee watched, his own desire evident in the way he licked his lips, his hand moving from your neck to squeeze your other thigh.

Recognizing the confirmation in Joe's eyes, your head turned to look at Tee, the same question in your eyes. He answered it with a smoldering gaze that left no room for doubt. "Come with us," he murmured, his voice a seductive invitation that sent a thrill through your body.

The three of you stood as one, the two men flanking your sides like bodyguards, guiding you through the sea of wedding guests. The music grew louder, the rhythm beckoning you to the dance floor, but you had other plans. Your heart raced as Joe's hand slid down your back, his fingers tracing the curve of your ass, while the back of Tee's hand brushed against yours. The electricity between you was undeniable, a current that could light up the entire hotel.

The three of you moved through the crowd, the warmth of your bodies pressing together, the heat of your desire almost too much to handle. When you reached the elevator, the tension was unbearable. Joe's hands pulled your back flush against his chest, making you gasp as his strong hands wandered across the material of your dress. Tee stood in front of you, his hand tipping your head back as he claimed your mouth in a kiss that was anything but casual. The doors closed, and the world outside was forgotten.

The elevator ride was a blur of hands and lips, the three of you exploring each other's bodies like you had been waiting for this moment your entire lives. Your dress was hiked up, Joe's hand slipping under your panties to feel the wetness that had pooled there. Tee's hand found your breasts, kneading them gently as Joe whispered sweet nothings into your ear. The ding of the elevator arriving at Tee's floor brought you back to reality with a jolt. You stumbled out into the hallway, breathless and desperate.

Tee fumbled with the keycard, the anticipation almost too much to bear. You giggled as Joe muttered low and bitter under his breath, "Take your time, buddy."

The door finally clicked open, and the three of you tumbled into the room, a whirlwind of lust and passion. The lights were dimmed, casting a seductive glow across the plush king-sized bed. Your heart pounded in your chest as you watched the two men, both so powerful on the field, look at you with a hunger you hadn't seen before.

Joe took the lead, his eyes dark with desire as he approached you, his hand sliding around your waist and pulling you against his firm chest. His kiss was demanding, his tongue delving into your mouth as if he could taste your thoughts, your fears, your desires. Tee's hands were on your shoulders, pushing the dress down your arms, exposing your bare breasts to the cool air. You gasped as Joe's mouth moved to your neck, his teeth grazing your sensitive skin as his hands found your nipples, ghosting his fingertips over the peaks.

"Hold on," you said, placing a hand on Joe's wrist to still his movements. You took a deep breath, your eyes searching theirs for any sign of doubt. "Are you two sure that if I do this, there won't be some blonde chick harassing me on Instagram afterward?"

"You know we don't do drama. That's the last thing we need before the season," Joe assured you, his hands sliding up your arms to cup your shoulders. "We're just here to have a good time." His voice was a low purr, his gaze intense.

Tee stepped closer to you, a tattooed hand reaching up to cup your jaw, his thumb brushing your lower lip. "We promise, baby," he whispered, his eyes dark with lust. "This is just about us, right here, right now."

You searched their eyes, the room spinning with a mix of excitement and trepidation. You nodded slowly before speaking up again, "Okay, no pics, no videos, and this stays between the three of us. Agreed?"

"Scout's honor," Joe murmured, his hand sliding around your waist and pulling you closer.

Tee leaned in, his lips brushing against yours in a gentle, almost chaste kiss. The room felt electrified as your body responded instinctively, your hands moving to rest on his broad chest. You could feel Joe's erection pressing against your back, his breath hot against your neck as he watched the exchange. The heat of their bodies, the scent of your desire, and the promise of what was to come washed over you like a wave.

"You guys are playing with fire," you murmured against Tee's mouth, but the smirk that played on his lips told you he knew exactly what he was doing. He broke the kiss, a knowing look passing between the two men. You gasped, pushing back against Joe as his hands found your tits, his palms squeezing them roughly, thumbs brushing against your nipples through the fabric of your dress.

"We know," Joe whispered in your ear, his breath sending shivers down your spine. "But sometimes, you've gotta risk getting burned." His hand slipped down to the zipper of your dress, pulling it down slowly, inch by torturous inch. The cool air of the room hit your bare back, making your skin pebble with goosebumps.

Tee stepped back, his eyes never leaving yours as he began to unbutton his shirt, his muscles rippling with every movement. You felt a rush of arousal as he revealed his sculpted chest, the ink on his skin telling a story of strength and resilience. He slid the shirt off his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor, and you couldn't help but bite your lips in anticipation.

"You're so fuckin' sexy," Joe murmured, his hand slipping into your hair as he pulled you in for another kiss. You moaned into his mouth, feeling Tee's hands on your hips as he turned you to face him. The two men moved around you like a perfectly choreographed dance, each touch setting your skin on fire.

The two men took turns kissing you, each one's touch different yet equally electrifying. Joe's kisses were demanding, his tongue exploring your mouth with a hunger that made your legs tremble. Tee's were soft and gentle, his lips brushing yours in a way that made you feel cherished. Your hands roamed over their broad chests, feeling the firmness of their muscles beneath the warm skin.

Tee stepped away, his eyes dark with desire as he took in the sight of you. "Damn, baby," he breathed, reaching out to trace the curves of your breasts. His thumbs brushed against your nipples, making them peak. Joe's hands slid down your back, unclipping your bra and letting it fall away. The cool air made you gasp, your breasts bouncing slightly as you were exposed to them in nothing but the flimsy excuse for panties you had chosen for the night.

The tension in the room was thick, the anticipation almost a tangible force. You felt their eyes on you, the weight of their desire a heavy presence that made your knees weak. You stepped out of your heels, the impact of your bare feet on the carpeted floor leaving the football players towering over you.

"Get on the bed," Tee murmured, his voice a low rumble that sent shivers down your spine. You obeyed, your legs feeling like jelly as you crawled onto the plush mattress. As you sat, perched and pretty, on the comforter, Joe began to undress, allowing Tee to make the first move.

Tee's eyes never left yours as he approached, his tuxedo jacket tossed aside and his bow tie undone. His large, strong hands reached for you, gripping your ankles and yanking you closer to the edge of the bed. You felt the heat from his body as he leaned in, his warm breath fanning your face as he whispered, "You're so fucking beautiful."

His words sent a shiver through you as he pushed your thighs apart, revealing your damp panties. Joe stepped closer, his own pants undone, his erection straining against his boxer briefs. He reached out, sliding one finger along the lacy fabric before hooking his thumbs into the waistband and pulling them to the side, exposing you to their hungry gazes.

"Goddamn," Tee whispered, his eyes locked on your nakedness. Joe's dick grew harder in his briefs as he watched his friend's reaction, his own desire mirrored in the tightness of Tee's jaw. Your heart was racing, your chest rising and falling with anticipation. You felt a thrill run through you as you watched their reactions, your own anticipation reaching a fever pitch.

"Prettiest pussy you've ever seen, huh?" Joe said with a smirk, his eyes darkening as he took in the sight of your bare skin. Tee nodded, unable to form coherent words as he stared.

You felt a warmth creep up your neck as you both took a moment to appreciate your body. You had always felt confident in your own skin, but the raw, carnivorous hunger in their expressions was something you had never experienced before. It was like they were really seeing you for the first time, and the thought of being desired by two such powerful, successful men was a heady aphrodisiac.

The room grew quiet, and the only sound was the rustle of clothes being removed. Your breathing grew shallow as Joe knelt before you, his eyes never leaving yours as he slowly peeled off your panties. Tee sat on the edge of the bed, his eyes raking over your exposed flesh with a look that made you quiver with anticipation. You could see his cock, thick and hard, straining against his boxers.

"You're so beautiful," Joe murmured, his breath hot against your thigh. He placed a soft kiss to your inner thigh, sending a shiver up your spine. Tee leaned in, his warm breath caressing your skin as he whispered sweet nothings into your ear, his hand moving to cup your breast. You felt like you were in a dream, the reality of the situation slowly sinking in as Joe's tongue found your clit.

Their touches grew more urgent, more demanding, as they worked in tandem to bring you to the edge. Your hips began to rock, your body responding instinctively to the sensations they were creating. You felt Joe's hand slip between your legs, his fingers teasing your folds before sliding inside you, the feel of his thick digits stretching you and setting your body alight. Tee's mouth found yours, a heavy hand reaching to squeeze at the sides of your neck, your moans muffled by his kisses.

Your eyes rolled back in your head as Joe's thumb found your clit, circling the sensitive nub with the expertise of a maestro conducting an orchestra of pleasure. Tee's tongue danced with yours, his teeth grazing your bottom lip. You felt yourself spiraling closer to the precipice, your body tightening around Joe's hand.

The room was a whirlwind of sensations: the scent of their cologne, the sound of fabric shifting, the feel of Joe's calloused hands on your skin. It was almost too much, and you were lost in a haze of pleasure when Tee broke away, leaving you gasping for air.

"Gonna come, baby?" Tee's question was a breathy murmur in your ear, his hand moving from your neck to cup your cheek as he watched your face contort with pleasure. You could only nod, unable to form words as Joe's fingers worked their magic.

Your eyes locked onto Tee's above you as you felt Joe's thumb press down hard on your clit, your body arching off the bed as your orgasm hit you like a wave, crashing over you in an explosion of color and sensation. You moaned weakly, your pussy clenching around Joe's hand as you rode the peak, your nails digging into the mattress.

When you finally came down, Joe withdrew his hand, a smug smile on his face. As if sharing a sense of telepathy, the two men stood up simultaneously to remove their boxers, revealing their generous lengths. You couldn't help but whimper at the sight, your heart racing with excitement and nerves.

"Make some room for me," Tee said with a mischievous smile, sliding onto the bed behind you as you sat up. His hand traveled down your body, his thumb brushing the swollen bud of your clit before sliding two fingers inside you. You gasped as he began to pump them in and out, his touch gentle yet firm.

Joe, who had stepped up to the edge of the bed, watched with darkened eyes as Tee worked his magic. He nodded towards Tee's lap as your eyes fluttered open. "You gonna get on top, sweetheart?" he asked, his voice thick with lust. You licked your lips, nodding eagerly.

With a smile, you shuffled over to Tee, your eyes meeting his hooded browns. You straddled Tee's thighs, feeling his hardness beneath you. He took a moment to appreciate the sight of you, his breathing heavy, before he leaned up and kissed you again, his tongue dancing with yours. You could feel Joe's eyes on the two of you, his gaze burning into your skin as you reached down to stroke Tee's dick before sinking down on it with a moan.

The feel of him filling you sent you both spiraling and you had to bite back a scream as you adjusted to his size. Tee's hands gripped your hips, guiding your movements as you began to ride him. The sound of your bodies slapping together filled the room, mingling with your moans and gasps for air. You leaned back into Joe as he slotted behind you, his hands pressing blistering heat into your skin as he kissed your neck and whispered encouragement into your ear.

Tee pulled his bottom lip into his mouth, his eyes hooded with desire as he watched you take him in. He reached up, his hands finding your tits, and began to tease your nipples as you rode him. The sight of you bouncing on his dick, your pussy squeezing him with every move, had him on the edge of his seat, quite literally. You threw your head back, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as you moaned out Tee's name, feeling the heat of Joe's chest against your back.

Joe's hands began to wander, caressing your body as you moved in rhythm with Tee. His fingers found your clit, rubbing it in slow circles that had your pussy spasming around Tee's cock. Your moans grew louder, your body moving faster as Joe's touch grew more insistent. You felt Tee's cock thicken inside you, and you knew he was close.

"Fuck, Joe, you seein' this shit?" Tee's voice was strained, his eyes glazed with pleasure as he watched your body take his length. Joe's only response was a low, feral growl as he continued to tease your clit.

"Perfect fuckin' fit," Joe murmured, his own arousal clear as he lazily stroked himself in time with your rhythm.

Your breathing grew shallow, your eyes locked onto Tee's. You felt Joe's breath against your neck, his teeth grazing your skin as his fingers worked their magic. "I'm gonna cum," you gasped, your voice a desperate plea.

"Again?" Tee teased, brown eyes glittering with excitement as he watched your body tense with the approaching wave of pleasure. "I ain't complaining, but you're gonna wear me out." Your face grew hot as you felt the dual pressure of Tee inside you and Joe's thumb on your clit, pushing you to the edge.

"I can't help it," you panted, "you two are just too much."

Joe's chuckle was a dark promise against your ear. "We're just getting to the good part," he half promised, half teased, his breath sending shivers down your spine.

The room was a whirlwind of sensation: the slick slide of skin, the scent of arousal, the heat of two men surrounding you. Finally, you threw your head back again, your dark hair fanning out against Joe's pale shoulder as you came, your pussy clamping down on Tee's cock.

Your eyebrows furrowed as the orgasm ripped through you, drawn out by the feel of both Joe and Tee's hands on you. You barely registered Tee's cock slipping away from your heat, chuckling darkly as Joe watched your body spasm with pleasure. The quarterback muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like "Fuck me," and you felt a shyness creep over your cheeks, even in the throes of passion.

"Stand up for me, sweetheart," Joe finally murmured, his voice thick with desire. You complied, your legs shaky as Joe helped you to your feet. Tee leaned back on his elbows, his cock still throbbing against his stomach, glistening with your combined arousal.

Joe's hands slid around your waist, positioning you to face Tee. He whispered in her ear, "Suck his cock, baby. Make him feel good."

Your eyes widened, but the desire in Joe's voice and the way Tee's eyes lit up at the suggestion made your body respond immediately. You leaned over the edge of the bed as Tee scooted backward to allow room for your chest to rest on the sheets between his spread legs. Carefully, Tee swept your hair up into a crude ponytail, giving him an unobstructed view of your beautiful brown skin and the way your back arched with anticipation.

Your mouth hovered over Tee's cock, your breath warm against the sensitive flesh. His hands tangled in your hair, guiding you down as you took him in. Your cheeks hollowed out as you sucked him in deep, your eyes closing delicately as you moaned around the taste of your arousal coating his length.

Joe's hand trailed over your skin to squeeze at your ass, sliding his cock to nestle in your warm pearl. "Fuck, you feel amazing," he murmured, his voice a gruff rumble that sent shivers down your spine. You moaned around Tee's cock, the vibrations making him twitch with pleasure. Tee's grip tightened in your hair, guiding your movements as he guided your head up and down his length, his eyes tracing over your blissed-out expression.

Your bodies moved in harmony, a symphony of passion and desire that had been building since you first set eyes on each other that evening. The room was a whirlwind of sensations - Joe's calloused fingers digging into your skin, Tee's cock sliding in and out of your mouth, and the smell of your combined arousal. You felt like you were floating, weightless and free, as you gave in to the moment.

With a surge of energy, you lifted from Tee's dick, swirling your tongue around his mushroom tip with a self-indulgent smile. Joe's eyes lit up as he watched you, his own arousal evident as he continued thrusting into you. Tee's chest heaved as he took in the sight of you, his abs clenching with the effort to hold back.

"What the fuck?" Tee's eyes went wide with shock and arousal as he watched your teeth graze lightly over the most sensitive part of him, your eyes all innocent and pure as you gazed up at him. He didn't know what was happening, but his body was definitely on board. Your tongue flicked out, licking up the precum that beaded at the tip of his cock, making him grit his teeth in an attempt to keep from coming too soon.

Joe's breath was hot against your neck as he whispered, "Take him all the way in, baby," his hands on your hips pushing you down slightly. You obeyed, taking Tee deep into your mouth, the sound of your wetness as Joe fucked you from behind echoing through the room.

The sensation was overwhelming, the taste of Tee combined with the feeling of Joe's cock deep inside you making you moan around the head of Tee's dick. The vibrations sent his bottom lip between his teeth, his head dipping back with a strangled groan, nostrils flaring with concentration. You felt Joe's grip tighten, his thrusts growing more erratic as he approached his own climax. Tee's eyes never left yours, the intensity of his gaze making your pussy clench around Joe's cock.

"Fuck," Tee hissed as your head bobbed up and down, your cheeks hollowing with each suck. The sight of your full lips stretched around his length and Joe's hand guiding you was more than he could handle. His own hand tightened in your hair, his hips jerking involuntarily.

"So good," you moaned around Tee's cock, your body trembling with the force of Joe's thrusts. Your third orgasm was building, a storm gathering on the horizon, ready to unleash its fury at any moment. Tee's hand stroked your cheek, the sweetness of his touch a stark contrast to the raw, animalistic need driving Joe.

"Good girl," Joe groaned, his grip tightening on your hips as he watched you take Tee's cock deeper into your mouth. He could feel you tightening around him, your body begging for release. "Prettiest girl I've ever seen," the quarterback whispered, his voice thick with lust.

Tee's eyes rolled back, lost in the pleasure of your mouth. His hand on the back of your head grew more insistent, his hips bucking slightly as he approached climax. Your eyes watered, but you didn't pull away, your own pleasure building with every gag and moan you muffled around Tee's dick.

"Oh, shit," he moaned, his voice a deep, guttural sound that sent another shiver down your spine. You felt Joe's cock thicken even more inside you, his hips stuttering as he fought to hold back.

"Bet she dreamed about this, Tee," Joe murmured, his breath hot against your neck. You felt Tee's cock twitch in your mouth at the words, his eyes dark with desire.

"I know she did. Drooling all over my dick like this. Lookin' all pretty," Tee chuckled, his voice strained with arousal.

With that, Joe took over once again. He pulled you off Tee's cock, laughing out loud as his wide receiver shot him a sour look. "Joe," he groaned holding his hands up in protest, but Joe was having none of it.

You felt the warmth of Joe's breath on your neck as he leaned in to whisper, "Gonna look so much prettier with his cum all over your pretty face, gorgeous."

The thought sent a jolt of excitement through you, and you moaned out loud, closing your eyes as you tried to will yourself to hold off on your burgeoning orgasm. Tee's eyes widened as he caught onto Joe's words, a devious smirk playing on his lips.

The tension in the room grew palpable as Tee's hand on the back of your head grew firmer, guiding your movements. You felt his cock swell, the veins pulsing against your tongue. Your eyes watered as you took him deeper, your throat tightening around his shaft. The feeling of being used so thoroughly, by two men who had you pinned and writhing with pleasure, was intoxicating.

"Open that pretty mouth for me, baby," Tee urged softly, his voice thick with lust. You complied, presenting your tongue as Tee's cock slid out of your mouth, leaving a trail of precum. You watched as he stroked himself, his hand moving fast and sure.

"God, you're so fucking sexy," Joe murmured, his eyes locked onto the scene before him. You could feel his breath on your neck, his own arousal leaking into you. The anticipation was unbearable, the room seemingly closing in on you as Tee's strokes grew faster. You felt Joe's hand come down to rest on your lower back, hips stilling as Tee approached his climax.

"Gonna paint that pretty face, baby," Tee warned you, his voice tight with restraint. You nodded eagerly, your eyes fluttering shut as you felt the first warm spurt of cum hit your cheek, sliding down to your chin. Tee groaned, his hand moving in fast jerks as he coated you in his release. When he was done, you opened your eyes to find Joe watching you, his own desire clear.

Joe's hand moved from your back to your face, his thumb brushing over your cum-covered cheek. "Taste it," he instructed, his voice a seductive growl. You obeyed, your kiss-swollen lips wrapping around the pad of his thumb, a smile pulling at the corners of your mouth, feeling the stickiness of Tee's release on your skin.

"You fuckin' liked that, didn't you?" Tee's voice was filled with a mix of pride and satisfaction as he watched you lick his cum off Joe's thumb. Your eyes sparkled with amusement as you nodded, a giggle bubbling out of you. The room was thick with the scent of your combined arousal, your hearts pounding in sync with the pulsing beat of the bass from the party below.

Joe's smile grew wicked. His grip on your hips tightened, his dick still buried deep inside you as he began to move again, slowly at first. You fully moaned out, any shyness completely forgotten as you felt Joe twitch inside you. The power play between them had you more turned on than you'd ever been.

Tee laughed as he finally began to recover from his orgasm. "Go 'head, baby, make Joey cum. I think he worked hard for it." He winked at you, who rolled your eyes playfully. The room was thick with lust, your heavy breathing echoing off the walls.

Joe leaned in, his breath hot against your ear. "Think he's right, sweetheart?" he questioned, his voice low and rough. Your eyes fluttered shut as you felt him begin to move again, his strokes deep and deliberate. You moaned around the taste of Tee's cum, the sound muffled by your head falling into the sheets.

"Fuck, yes," you managed to murmur, your hips rocking back to meet him. Joe's chuckle was deep and dark as he picked up his pace, his hands moving to squeeze your sides as he drove into you. Your eyes rolled back in your head, the feeling of being filled with Joe's cock and watching Tee's exhausted, satisfied face was overwhelming.

"Look at me, sweetheart," Joe demanded, his voice strained as he pulled you up against him. Your back arched as you opened your eyes to find his piercing blues staring down at you. "I wanna see your face when I come inside you."

Your eyes locked onto his, the intensity of his gaze setting your body ablaze. You could feel the muscles in your core tightening, your orgasm building with every stroke. Joe's grip on your hips grew fiercer, his movements punctuated by the slap of your bodies meeting. The head of his cock nudged your g-spot with precision, sending sparks through your body.

"Look at me," Joe repeated, his voice a low growl that sent shivers down your spine. You did as you were told, your eyes connecting in a silent agreement that this was more than just a casual fling. There was something deeper, something raw and primal that bound you two together in this moment.

The room seemed to spin around you as Joe's thrusts grew more erratic. You could feel his cock swelling inside you, the promise of his climax imminent. You leaned back, your breasts bouncing with each thrust as you threw your head back, your mouth open in a silent scream of pleasure.

"Fuck, yes," you gasped, your eyes fluttering shut. "I'm gonna cum again." The words were barely out of your mouth before you felt the warmth of Joe's release fill you up. He groaned, his hips bucking against you, his orgasm intense and powerful. Tee watched, his hand still around his cock, stroking slowly as he took in the sight of two of his close friends, lost in their shared passion.

Your body shuddered as the waves of pleasure washed over you, your hands slotting over Joe's as he trailed a hand up to squeeze at the sides of your neck, constricting your airways deliciously. Joe's cock continued to pulse inside you, painting your insides with his seed as your walls fluttered around him. The heady scent of sex filled the air, intoxicating and overwhelming. You felt Joe's grip on your hips ease, his breathing slowing as he pulled out.

Tee's eyes never left yours, his hand still moving languidly on his shaft. He looked up at Joe, a silent question in his gaze. Joe nodded, a smirk playing on his lips, and Tee moved in closer, his hand reaching for your chin. He turned your face to him, and you felt his kiss, soft and gentle, almost tender in contrast to the fiery passion you had just shared with Joe. It sent a refreshing wave of serenity over you, and you melted into it, your body still quivering from the aftershocks of your climax.

"You good?" Tee asked softly, his thumb brushing over your lower lip. You nodded, your eyes flicking from Tee to Joe and back again, the gravity of what you had just done settling in. The room was quiet except for your synchronized breathing, and you could feel their eyes on you, watching your every move, every reaction, every twitch of your relaxing muscles.

You felt Joe's weight shift away from you, retreating to the bathroom to grab some washcloths. When he returned, he tossed one to Tee and used the other one to wipe you down gently, his touch surprisingly tender. You looked down at the mess you'd made off the bed, a mix of cum and sweat, and felt a strange sense of pride. These were two of the most eligible bachelors in the NFL, and here they were, sharing you like a treasure.

Your trio lay in a tangled heap of limbs, your breaths syncing as you all came down from the high of your shared experience. The tension of earlier was gone, replaced by a warm, contented silence. You felt a sense of belonging you hadn't known in a long time as Joe's hand trailed lazily across your back and Tee's arm draped over your waist. You were a unit now, bound by a secret that only the three of you knew.

As the reality of what had just transpired began to sink in, you couldn't help but feel a thrill of excitement and a hint of nervousness. You looked between them, two men you had known for years, two men you had never thought of in this way until tonight.

"What the hell just happened?" you murmured, a giggle bubbling up from your chest.

Joe leaned in, his expression a mix of satisfaction and amusement. "I think we just had the best sex of our lives," he said, his voice a low rumble that sent a shiver down your spine. Tee's eyes twinkled with playfulness as he nodded in agreement. "All because of you, baby," he added, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.

You couldn't help the scoff that escaped your lips as the teammates reached over your body to dap each other up in shared accomplishment. A "My man," slipped through the quiet from Tee's lips, his voice still hoarse from his orgasm. The sight of the two men celebrating their supposed victory, their friendship so clear even in the most intimate of moments, filled you with a strange sense of comfort.

"So, you two wanna explain why you're so good at this?" you teased, poking Joe in the ribs, the blonde squirming at your touch. "It's like you've practiced."

Joe's smirk grew wider. "I think this is pretty close to what we do on the field, you know? That QB-WR connection? We've got it down." His eyes twinkled as he leaned in closer to you. "We just knew what we wanted." His hand traveled down your side, sending a fresh wave of tingles across your skin.

"Once we figured out we both had feelings for you, we figured we could share," Tee whispered, his breath hot against your ear. "You're too much for just one of us to handle anyway." He chuckled, his hand sliding down your thigh. "It doesn't hurt that we make a pretty good team."

"And what would you two have done if I said no?" you asked, your voice revealing a hint of a challenge. You couldn't help the smirk that tugged at your lips as you watched the two men exchange glances, the unspoken communication between them almost comical in its synchronicity.

"I'd fuckin' kill him, he talked me into it," Tee said with a chuckle, reaching over you playfully jostle Joe. "But for real, we knew you'd be down."

Joe's expression grew serious. "We respect you too much to push you into anything." He brushed a lock of hair from your face. "We just wanted to be honest. Let you know how we feel."

You searched their faces, the gravity of their words sinking in. "I appreciate that," you said softly. "But what now? This isn't exactly something you tell people at work when they ask about your weekend."

Joe nodded. "We know. That's why it's just between us. What happens in this room, stays in this room." His thumb traced circles on your lower back, sending shivers up your spine. "But if you're into it, we could keep this going."

Tee leaned in, his voice a gentle rumble against your skin. "Just something casual. No strings, no drama. Just something between us three. We got each other's backs, always."

Your heart raced at the thought. It was risky, especially with your career in and around the league. But the connection you felt with Joe and Tee was undeniable, a potent cocktail of attraction and friendship that you hadn't experienced before. The thrill of secrecy only added to the allure.

"Okay," you said, your voice a hesitant whisper. "But only if we're all clear on the rules. No one outside this room can ever know. Ever."

Joe and Tee nodded solemnly, their eyes locked on yours. "You got it," Joe said, his thumb brushing over your plump lower lip. "Our lips are sealed."

This was fucking insane.

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unpopularwriter25 · 6 months ago

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hey!!! so Ive come across a few of your matchups, and was wondering if I could request for one! info

My name is Brielle, first off. brie for short!! :D (pronounced 'BREE-EL') appearance: i dont really know how to describe my skin tone. it's like a honey-bronze, I think? im black and Mexican, but my father is a light skinned black so im not that dark in colour, and my mom is a light skinned Mexican. idk im just tan lol.

I have dark brown eyes and im pretty sure their almond shaped, and I have naturally curly lashes. my eyebrows are short and have an itty bitty arch at the end

my nose has a bridge, but its not bulky at all, its just kinda there.

my lips are bow shaped.

I have like... no shoulders. :')

im not slim or skinny, but im also not overweight. im like.. average ig

I think I'm a pear body shape

im a curly girly!! im a 3a. my hair color is like a medium brown. I have natural light brown and blonde highlights, and I have a few red undertones. it falls just under my shoulders when curly, but is to my bust when straightened.

I have freckles on my cheeks and on my hands. my hands are soft (as ive been told) and my fingernails grow fast, but I bite them because of my anxiety so their usually short.

personality: im a 100% extrovert!!! im very social and loveee talking to others!! like, I scream in public regularly. im also very sensitive. if I see someone cry, I cant help but sob with them. when I get frustrated or angry, tears. its not embarrassing to me though. I think being open with your emotions is very important!!! I also adore to laugh. like alot. ive been told that im kind of a doormat for people I have soft spots for, but for the most part im super vocal about my opinions and im strong with my vocabulary and choice of words. im normally an overall goofy and silly person, but when something serious, or something im passionate about comes up, serious brie comes alive!! I have low self esteem, and get kinda bashful when receiving compliments.. im an over thinker for sure. i overanalyze random stuff cus yes. anxiety sucks man. im also moody. one day ill literally be depressed and hate myself, the next day im smiling and cheerfully skipping around. (hey, skipping is fun, ok?) I'm super talkative- which im sure you figured out by now, haha. im also kinda jumpy cus anxiety. im bad at decision making and get overwhelmed with it.

hobbies: I like writing. more specifically, creative writing. I love being descriptive and stuff. I love readinggggg!!!!!! books r life . im a strong believer of God and a proud Christian. I like chatting to people, i like watching tv shows, and I love music. OH. how could I forget? my passion is musical theatre. im in love with the stage and being silly on it! im a certified triple threat. Singing dancing and acting are some of my talents. though singing is probably my specialty.

dislikes: i hate ignorant and illiterate individuals. they make me furious. I also dont like when people overcomplicate things... like bro why??? I also will NOT tolerate homophobia, racism, transphobia, or any sort of hatred. I also hate when people make fun of others who are comfortable in their own skin, and are great at expressing themselves.

likes: I love, loVE, LOVEEEEEEE flowers. my favorites are roses. I love my blanket. I sleep with 9 of them :). nobody is EVER too old for the warmth of a soft blanket. I love physical touch, cant go without it! I randomly cling onto my friends. sometimes I give hugs out of nowhere, I hold hands with my friends alot. I even give them kisses... (on the top of their head, not on the lips lmao)..

love language:i have alot. physical touch, WOA, and quality time. like I said earlier, I loveee physical touch. and I also love telling people how much I love them and love giving people praise, sometimes I randomly text my friends "iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouuu" cus yesss. I also like spending time with people cus it makes our bond stronger and we can share so many more fun memories!! what I like receiving is mainly touch and also WOA. I blush kind of easily when my friends give me woa cus self esteem sucks lol. it also leaves a warm feeling in my heart when people say it to my face :) im gonna end it here cus ive been typing for like an hour lol. have a splendid day!!!! stay happy :)

-brie

Sorry for the delay! I hope you enjoy~!!

I ship with Gyomei Himejima!!

Gyomei is known for his deep compassion and kindness towards others, which aligns with your caring personality.

As the Stone Hashira, Gyomei possesses immense strength and is fiercely protective, providing a sense of security that you appreciate.

Both you and Gyomei value justice and empathy, sharing a strong stance against ignorance, overcomplication, and intolerance.

Gyomei’s backstory and emotional depth would resonate with your sensitive and emotional nature, fostering understanding and support.

Gyomei’s willingness to protect and his strength would align well with your love for physical touch and warmth from blankets.

Gyomei’s supportive nature would complement your extroverted and expressive personality, creating a balanced partnership.

Gyomei’s commitment to justice and protecting others would align with your vocal stance on important issues.

His calm and serious demeanor balances out your goofy and silly side, creating a harmonious dynamic.

Gyomei’s resilience and determination, as seen in his role as a Hashira, would be inspiring to you.

Both of you share a tendency to feel deeply and empathize easily with others’ emotions.

Gyomei’s spiritual nature and dedication to his beliefs might resonate with your faith as a proud Christian.

You both would likely provide mutual emotional support and understanding during times of emotional highs and lows.

Gyomei’s ability to communicate through actions and emotions complements your strong vocabulary and expressive nature.

Both of you would appreciate spending time together engaging in hobbies like reading, watching TV shows, and enjoying music.

Being with Gyomei could encourage personal growth, especially in areas of emotional resilience and deepening faith.

#fanfic #writing #fandom #fluff #anime #cute #anime x reader #demon slayer #demon slayer anime #demon slayer imagines #demon slayer ship request #demon slayer ships #demon slayer ship #ship requested #ship request #requested #hashira #stone hashira

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greatbigbellies · 4 years ago

Text

The @wesoftupinhere oneshot... that turned into a fourshot... but hey it’s content right? Features wholesome preg content, light stuffing, rapid pregnancy, and heavy multiples. Hope you enjoy it!

Kyle lounged in his gamer chair, his full term pregnant belly resting in his lap. He Took a hand off of the mouse to rub small circles in the side of his distended tummy, soothing his little boy inside. Both Kyle and his baby had been restless lately, anxious to meet each other, and Kyle was particularly ready to be done with pregnancy. It wasn’t a bad gig, mind you, lots of food and attention. However, being so heavy and achy all the time was draining. He’d been going for 38 weeks now, and his 5’5” frame was growing weary of growing a baby. Almost there, he thought to himself. He returned his hand to his mouse to keep streaming. He was playing minecraft, half cause he enjoyed it, and half because it got donations. With the baby coming soon, he needed all the money he could get.

He shifted idly in his chair, struggling to get comfortable. “How far along are you?” asked one of his stream viewers. He got this question almost every day. “38 weeks, 3 days! Almost done!” he chirped. “Congrats!” said the viewer over chat. Kyle smiled. “You look so fatherly!” another chimed in. Kyle blushed a little, not sure how to take compliments. “Aww, thanks guys!” he replied.

“Can we see the tummy?” asked one particularly brave viewer. “Ooooh, I dunno guys, it’s kind of hard to move at this size,” he replied. A minute or so passed, Kyle idly harvesting his crops, when a donation rolled in. “Oh! Thanks for the twenty bucks! Wow! Let’s see…” he waited for the bit donation message to scroll by. “If I give you $20 will you show us the baby bump?” it asked. Kyle rolled his eyes and smiled. “You guys drive a hard bargain, but ooookay,” he grunted as he got to his feet, his hefty body trying to weigh him down. He turned to the side and rolled up his shirt to show his smooth, large belly to the facecam. His baby visibly kicked from the inside, much do the delight of the twitch chat.

“Pog!” “Pog baby!” “Pogchamp!” “Pogchamp!” “Pog baby!!” “He’s our little pogchamp!”... his chat exploded. Kyle laughed at the reaction, causing his tummy to bounce slightly. “Hahaha! Yeah, I guess he is our little pogchamp huh?” he said, half genuinely, half ironically. Twitch slang felt weird sometimes, but Kyle had to admit, it got results. He held his belly from below and gave it a little bounce as about $55 in donations rolled in, all saying variations of “pog baby”. Kyle smiled to himself as he heard Tyler come home. “Oop! My lunch is here! BRB!” he said as he paused the stream and put up his “returning soon” screen. He yanked his shirt down over his huge belly and waddled into the kitchen where Tyler sat, groaning and cradling his massive gut.

“Are you okay?” asked Kyle, thinking Tyler just overate again. “Oooohhh… too many burgers…” Tyler moaned. “Why didn’t you wait until you got home to eat?” asked Kyle. “I was gonna… but they smelled so good… and pregnancy cravings won out…” he explained between breaths. “Dude, feel my belly...! It’s so full!” Kyle shrugged. He’d felt Tyler’s tummy a million times over his pregnancy, he didn’t expect this to be any different. He was wrong. “Whoa… dude, how much did you eat?” he asked, prodding his best friend’s massively overstuffed belly. It felt insanely firm, especially on the lower hemisphere. Tyler’s belly was already huge, what with triplets crammed in there, and he had a habit of gorging himself now and again. “For the babies” he’d always say. This felt different though. It was like he was… more pregnant than before…

“Uuuh, just like… two burgers, fries, a side of onion rings, and a large shake… a normal lunch!” said Tyler. Kyle would have rolled his eyes if he wasn’t concerned. He compared the firmness of hIs own belly with his friend’s. Both were very full, sure, and had little give, but Tyler’s… his felt downright overfilled. Kyle rolled up his friend’s shirt to inspect the belly. It all looked fine as far as he could tell. More tightly stretched, sure, but no harsh blemishes or warning signs. “Soooo much pressure!...” complained Tyler. “Do you need to go to a doctor?” Tyler shook his head at Kyles question. “Nah dude, I’ll be fine… I just need some tummy rubs and time to digest…” he paused… “Wow, I must have overdone it more than I thought. I swear the burger just kicked…”

Kyle gave his friend a skeptical look. “Where did you get these? Burger King?” he asked. Tyler shook his head, placing both hands on his distended bare belly. “Nah bro… some new place that popped up next door. Nice portions…. I didn’t get the name though…” Kyle smiled at his friend. It’s just like him to order and eat from a place without knowing what it’s called. He glanced at the plain, brown paper bag the food came in, and grabbed his burger to examine the wrapping. “McPreggo? What kind of name is McPreggo?” he asked Tyler, who was zoned out rubbing his belly. “I dunno man… but the babies sure liked it and I did too… maybe too much, ough,” he let out a dainty little belch.

Kyle shrugged. It did smell amazing. He unwrapped his burger, and took a bite. “Oh my god…” he trailed off with a mouth full. “W-what?” asked Tyler. “This… is the tastiest thing I’ve ever eaten!” Kyle beamed. This was like eating his favorite food, while sating a craving for a different favorite food, while discovering a NEW favorite food all at once. The patty was grilled to perfection, the bun was fluffy, the veggies were moist and crisp, and whatever that reddish sauce was was simply astonishing.

“I can see why you would overdo it on this food Tyler, THIS… IS… AMAZING!” Tyler smirked at his friend. “And you doubted by tastes…” he said jokingly, patting his overfilled belly. Kyle continued to demolish the burger at a frightening pace. “Dude… I once saw you dip sweet potato fries in cake icing… your tastes are bizarre,” pointed out Kyle between bites. “Eeny, and Meeny wanted the fries and Miney wanted the icing!” Tyler defended himself, referring to his triplets by their nicknames.

Kyle felt the weight of his pregnant tummy tug downward, his sore back reminding him that standing for too long wasn’t a good idea in his state. He waddled over and took a seat between Tyler and the table of food. “Speaking of fries… you didn’t eat them all, did you?” he asked. Tyler shook his head, “Nah man, I specifically left yours alone. They’re in the bag, you gotta try them. They put some garlic salt or something on ‘em,” Uncannily, Kyle found himself craving garlic at the mere mention of it. He took the last bite of his burger, and stuck his arm down the bag to fish out his prize.

Tyler rubbed large circles on the distended sides of his massive belly, soothing both his overfilled stomach and his aching womb. He felt Eeny, Meeny, and Miney all snuggled in his gut… and he could SWEAR he felt three other bodies in there too, but that was impossible. He was just overfed, surely. He turned to watch Kyle basically drink the fries out of the carton. He hadn’t seen his friend put away food like this since his second trimester… dude must’ve been starving. He thought to himself.

Tyler furrowed his brow at the sight of Kyle’s tummy slowly pushing outward, his shirt visibly riding up as he ate. Kyle seemed too enamored with the food to notice. “And you got me onion rings?! God I love you Ty, you know how to treat a guy,” Kyle laughed as he found the second side hidden in the bag. “Y-yeah, no problem…” Tyler trailed off, still focusing on his friend’s tummy. “How are you feeling?” he asked. Kyle crunched on a perfectly seasoned onion ring, “Like I’m in heaven!” he replied, an adorable grin on his face.

Tyler felt his own tummy again, really taking the time to feel it. He felt for where most of the pressure in his belly was coming from. His stomach? Check. His womb? Also check… He felt around, outlining the tiny bodies in his head. 1… 2… 3… his eyes widened. He reached over and felt Kyles belly, a sizable crescent of bare skin showing as his shirt continued to ride up. Kyle was too busy enjoying onion rings to care. They felt each other’s babies all the time, so this wasn’t out of the ordinary.

Tyler concentrated on the movement under Kyle’s skin, feeling where the kicks and rolls where coming from. Kyle’s baby was really active in there… almost too active… “Hey Kyle…?” “Mhmmm?” Kyle finished off the last two onion rings in one bite. Tyler looked at him, and with the most uncharacteristically serious tone he could muster, said “Show me where your little pogchamp is,” Kyle snorted out a giggle. “You were just feeling him! He’s right there!” Kyle guided Tyler’s hand to his lower belly, right below his now exposed navel, where a tiny foot was pressed against his palm.

Tyler nodded. He felt movement stir in his own belly, and squinted in concentration. As if on cue, a stong kick pushed its way up into the top shelf of Kyle’s tummy, distending it. That made Kyle jump a little, “Wow okay… guess he’s up there…” Kyle paused. “Wait that’s not right…” he rolled up his shirt, now much tighter than it was this morning, and placed his hands on the top and bottom of his belly, Tyler’s hands taking up the front. They made eye contact as they both came to the realization that this felt familiar… on Tyler.

“Am I… carrying TRIPLETS?!?!” Kyle yelled in surprise. “I...I think so?” replied Tyler. “And I think I’ve got six… I think… the food…” he stared at the empty brown paper bag in the table. “Nononono… wait that’s not right…” Kyle explored his own expanded belly. His midriff was now undoubtedly larger than before and he felt three distinct bodies inside… “How does that work?” asked Tyler, drumming the top of his own sextuplet belly in thought. Kyle shook his head in bewilderment. “It’ll be okay… we’ll get Sarah, Bree, and Brook on the phone. They do this stuff for a living, they’ll be able to help us!” said Kyle, half to himself in an effort to stay calm. “Yeah! If anyone will understand spontaneous babies, it’ll be them!” said Tyler with a cautiously optimistic smile. “Problem solved!”

Kyle tried to stand up, but found himself stuck to his seat due to the new weight. He tried again, making little progress. “Uh… problem not quite solved,” he looked sheepishly at Tyler. “Will you… help me up?” he asked. Tyler jokingly leaned back, causing his truly massive tummy to stick out just that little bit father. “I dunno bro… I’m like… SUPER pregnant right now,” he grinned, his sextuplets visibly moving in his overburdened belly. Kyle crossed his arms and pouted. “Well I’M super pregnant and super SHORT so I need help,” he replied. Tyler laughed, “Well, you got me there dude, gimme a sec,”

Tyler scooted forward and spread his knees apart to make room for his pendulous belly, then he leaned forward, taking the weight off of his butt and onto his feet, before slowly straightening his legs. He pressed his hands into his lower back to help guide his torso into a vertical position, his mammoth belly sticking out far in front of him. The sudden change of position did not sit well with his cargo, and they roiled around in his overstretched gut. “Oof, guys, come on…” he pleaded with his babies, but they didn’t relent. He took his steps slowly, movement difficult at that size, and approached Kyle. “Alright dude, gimme your hands,” Tyler reached out, his belly reaching almost as far as his arms.

Kyle took his hands and, with a heave and some backwards motion from Tyler, got up to a standing position. “Whooo, okay,” said Kyle breathlessly. “God… how do you do this all the time?” he asked, cradling his triplet heavy belly. Tyler smiled, holding his own tummy in his hands, “Lots of food, lots of sleep, and lots of belly rubs,” Kyle smirked at the wholesomeness that was Tyler, and waddled over to his phone. “Alright… lets hope the girls aren’t busy…”

About an hour later, there was a firm knock at the door, no doubt from Brook. “Door’s unlocked!” called Kyle, resting on the couch, laying lengthwise to take up all three cushions. Tyler sat in the recliner, the footrest put up to support his legs, and his huge belly, which rested between them. The door swung open to reveal Sarah and Brook, Sarah herself sporting a solidly second trimester belly. “Sorry we were so slow, had to meet with a client,” apologized Sarah, patting her tummy for emphasis. “So what’s this about a ‘baby emergency’? If you’re in labor just to go the hospital!” said Brook, reading something on her phone. The two stepped inside, closing the door behind them, and Sarah was the first to see the thoroughly expanded boys.

“Uh, Brook, I think they have the opposite problem,” said Sarah. Brook glanced up from her phone to take in the sight of Tyler carrying six babies. “Oh my god did you go to a buffet?” she asked. Tyler shook his head, “Nope, just McPreggo!” he grinned, showing the cute gap between his teeth. “McWhat-now?” Sarah asked. “Some new restaurant Ty found, we think the food spontaneously fills your womb!” explained Kyle. “In fairness, the food IS amazing and almost worth it,” Tyler interjected. Sarah grimaced a little. She knew Tyler was a foodie, but was it really worth all THIS?

“Where’s Bree?” asked Kyle. “She’s, uh, getting us lunch. We were going to cook, but when we got the call from you we rushed over,” Sarah explained. Kyle nodded, “thanks for that, by the way,” he smiled. Sarah grinned sympathetically back, “so, uh, how many do you guys have now?” she asked. “Kyle’s got three now, and I’ve got six!” Tyler drummed the top shelf of his belly, stirring the occupants inside. “Yikes,” said Brook monotonously to no one in particular, back to looking at her phone.

Sarah looked at the table, covered in McPreggo wrappers and pursed her lips in thought. Maybe the packaging had a clue? She walked over to the dining area and looked over the fry cartons and burger wrappers. She wished Brook would help, but she seemed too busy on her phone. Sarah examined the label on the wrapper and saw tiny font that read “Quantum Noms LLC” in the corner. As she puzzled over what it could mean, Brook put her phone in her pocket and sighed. “Sarah, I love you, but you’re doing it the hard way. I already figured it out,”

Everyone looked at Brook in surprise. “You did?” asked Kyle. “Yeah, dude, I googled ‘McPreggo’ and read like… half a news article. Did you guys forget you could look things up on the internet?” she asked sarcastically. “Yeah, kinda,” shrugged Tyler from his seat. Brook rolled her eyes. “It’s a marketing thing. McPreggo food is designed to taste amazing to pregnant people, so they make food that uses some quantum physics BS to get their customers pregnant with, like, I dunno… copies of babies from the multiverse or some shit. Then they come back, eat more food, get more pregnant, and McPreggo rolls in the profits. It’s all harmless and temporary, you’ll be fine…” Brook trailed off. “...In 24 hours,” Tyler sighed happily and leaned back, causing his torpedo belly to agle up slightly.

“Oh good, so Eeny, Meeny, Miney, and Pogchamp are all safe, and we don't have to birth and care for extra babies,” said Tyler. “Problem solved… and now I can eat there again guilt free!” he grinned. “No!” everyone shouted. Tyler pouted, “but… it was so yummy…” Kyle sighed. “Okay… ONE burger every 24 hours… and you don’t get to complain about being too pregnant to do things!” he offered. Tyler laughed, causing his belly to bounce a tad. “Yeah, I’m already there BEFORE the food! Ha!” his mouth curled into a shit eating grin. Then, there was a shuffling at the door.

“Guys…? I need some help!” called Bree. Brook rolled her eyes and went over to the door, Sarah joining the boys in the living area. Brook opened the door and her jaw dropped. Bree stood there, her arms full of fast food bags, and her belly jutting out farther than Tyler’s, bare and sporting a popped belly button. “Thanks! I couldn’t reach the door past my tummy!” Bree slowly waddled past Brook and into the kitchen, garnering stares from everyone else. “I found this new restaurant! It’s really really good! I wasn’t sure what you guys wanted so I bought one of everything, though I might’ve eaten a bunch of it on the way here!” she said, a smile in her voice. “It’s soooo good though, I couldn’t help myself! I went after picking up Mrs. Buck’s twins, and I ate so much, now the twins have a bunch of friends! Isn’t it great!? It’s like a party in my belly!”

Tyler smiled a huge, toothy grin, “one of everything you say?” Sarah shook her head, but caught a whiff of the food and immediately understood why Tyler wanted more. Kyle eyed the pile of food on the table and felt his mouth water. He looked down at his triplet heavy belly… surely one more wouldn’t hurt? Brook, the only non-pregnant person there, grasped the bridge of her nose as she felt a headache building. This was about to get messy.

Bree sat down in the wooden chair next to the table full of food, causing it to creak under her septuplet pregnancy weight. Her tummy stuck out past her knees, and forced her legs apart from its sheer size. She grabbed a double bacon burger and offered it out to Brook. “Come on Brook! I know you’re hungry!” she smiled, genuinely not seeing the problem with her offer. Brook shook her head. “No way. I’m going to have to take on enough brats from all of you, I don’t need to start brewing my own!” she said. Bree shrugged. “More for meeee!” as she was about unwrap the sandwich, Brook stepped forward and snatched it out of her hands. “Are you kidding me? Look at you?! You’ll pop if you eat this!”

Sarah eyed the table of amazing smelling fast food and considered her options… she considered how much Bree must have spent on all of this… considered how awful it would be for this delectable feast to go to waste. “Um… Brook, it’d be a shame if we threw all of this away…” she said meekly. Brook gave an electric glare and threw her hands up in exasperation. “FINE! You all stuff yourselves and get huge with a bunch of quantum babies! I’m not taking any off of your hands when you’re all to big to move!” “Too late,” Tyler chipped in. “Aw, c’mon Tyler! I’m bigger than you! Surely you can still walk?” Bree bubbled. “Well yeah, but I don’t want to…” Tyler eyed the burger in Brook’s hand. “Hey Brook, you eatin’ that or what?”

Brook rolled her eyes and tossed him the burger, eliciting a tongue click and a finger gun from Tyler. Kyle shifted on the couch and slowly stood up, his relatively small frame struggling with just three. He pushed his hands into his lower back, and his shirt rode up all the way, leaving every square inch of pregnant belly on display. He waddled over to the table to see what was left. Sarah quickly joined him, her singleton belly feeling somewhat empty. Brook sat on the now empty couch and gave everyone a scornful look in turn. She knew she was going to have to clean this up.

Kyle tentatively grabbed a mild chicken sandwich while Sarah scooped up the 4 sliders and a side of onions rings. Bree grabbed the spicy chicken sandwich and the last remaining food item, the double jalapeno burger. Kyle and Sarah each sitting on the floor in front of the couch, not wanting to get TOO close to the grumpy Brook, Tyler on his recliner and Bree in her kitchen chair, the crew got to work decimating the McPreggo.

Tyler unwrapped the double bacon burger and started in on it, taking large, heaping bites that required him to chew for a somewhat extended period of time. The lettuce, tomato, bacon, cheese, and patty all tasted so good together, the flavors melded perfectly into the exact thing he was craving in that moment. As far as Tyler was concerned, McPreggo had earned his business. It was hard to argue with food that tasted this good. One hand held the sandwich, and the other rested on the shelf of his belly. As he devoured the sandwich, he felt the skin of his tummy shift under his fingers. Was that kicking? No, he was very familiar with that feeling. This... was growth.

Kyle sat cross legged on the floor, his triplet heavy belly resting on his folded ankles, and began eating the chicken sandwich. The cheese was an unexpected but welcomed touch, and the sauce, whatever it was, went perfect with the breading on the chicken. He polished off the sandwich in record pace, and placed his hands on the sides of his pregnant tummy, feeling it swell up between them. He was about to be pregnant with quadruplets, and wasn’t sure how he felt about it.

Next to him, Sarah was in a frenzy. The usually demure and subtle woman was downing sliders in two bites, and eating multiple onion rings in one chomp. This was amazing tasting food, and was totally worth whatever pregnant discomfort awaited her. At least, that’s what she thought before she felt her pants tighten up, and the button pop open on is own. She looked down at herself to see her 24 week singleton belly slowly expand outward in all directions, filling her lap with addition after addition to her womb.

Bree had somehow already completely consumed the spicy chicken sandwich, and was most of the way through the jalapeno burger. She was a strong girl, and big muscles needed a lot of fuel. Big bellies, as it turned out, also needed a lot of fuel, as two more quantum babies filled her womb. With nine babies now roiling around in her belly, even Bree was having a hard time feeling comfortable, and slowly rose to her feet to pace, hoping to stretch her legs. Each footfall was heavy as her gargantuan nonuplet belly swayed in front of her.

Bree waddled over to Tyler, who was back to groaning and rubbing big circles around his tummy. “Whyyyy did I do this? This bellyache and pressure isn’t worth the taste of delicious fooood…” he groaned. His 7 babies rumbled in his belly, resting on the recliner’s footrest. Bree tentatively placed a hand on her friend’s tanker of a tummy, and nodded slowly. “Yeah, you’re really pregnant all right,” she said. “T-thanks Bree. I wasn’t sure there for a sec,” groaned Tyler, all in good humor, of course.

Kyle struggled to unfold his legs under the weight of his tum. He swore he’d never complain about carrying his singleton son after this experience. He ran his hands around the equators of his belly, and leaned back against the couch, considering just staying there and sleeping this off.

Next to him was Sarah, who was in the process of seeing if she could still reach her bellybutton past her quadruplet belly. She could, barely. What she couldn’t do was fit in this shirt and pants anymore. She needed to get home and changed soon, having a big pregnant belly like this just hanging out felt so unprofessional. She moved to get up, but found she was too heavy to get off the floor with any real speed. Was it worth it for those sliders? It was, she decided, but only barely. “We should… urp… get home and… and digest,” said Sarah. “You buys gonna be okay?” she asked. “Mhmmm…” moaned Kyle sleepily. Tyler leaned back into the cushions of the recliner and grinned. “This… yeah, I can vibe with this…”

Bree took her hand off of Tyler’s belly, and waddled over to Sarah, one burning question on her mind. She looked expectantly at her friend as she struggled to get her feet under her. Sensing what was about to be asked, Brooks eyes lit up with exasperation. “On the way home… could we stop… for a snack?”

#not bellies #wholesome kink content #writing #pregnancy #pregnant

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enterfurore · 3 years ago

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* 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐘𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐄𝐃 : mwf ?

think we wld actually keel the fuck over for just abt anyone but we asked our gorgeous darlin angel baby group chat , n some of the sexy suggestions coming thru have been the following : jennie kim , alice pagani , brianne tju , yandeh sallah , laura harrier , yara shahidi , maude apatow , cierra ramirez , duckie thot , taylor russell , nana komatsu , courtney eaton , chase sui wonders , jessie mei li ( she/they ) , & adeline rudolph ! i think we wld also die for gemma chan , mikey madison , jasmin savoy brown , mina el - hammani , demet ozdemir , tati gabrielle , cara gee , madeleine madden , alice braga , aja naomi king , kate siegel , ming na wen , jamie chung , lucy liu , tessa thompson , hayley law , anya chalotra , devery jacobs , amber midthunder , melisa pamuk , hande ercel , aslihan malbora , simay barlas , zion moreno , danielle galligan , barbie ferreira , bree kish , alaqua cox , ana de armas , lana condor , margaret qualley , paulina alexis , nicola coughlan , may calamawy , christian serratos , & lupita nyong'o !

#mw.#appless rp #oc rp #mumu rp #city rp #dark academia rp

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defensefilms · 3 years ago

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NFL Week 4 Review: Dats the Boy, Tom Brizznay!!!

1. Bengals Over Jaguars (W)

2. Titans Over Jets (L)

3. Bears Over Lions (W)

4. Colts Over Dolphins (W)

5. Browns Over Vikings (W)

6. Washington Over Falcons (W)

7. Bills Over Texans (W)

8. Saints Over Giants (L)

9. Chiefs Over Eagles (W)

10. Panthers Over Cowboys* (L)

11. 49ers Over Seahawks* (L)

12. Rams Over Cardinals* (L)

13. Packers Over Steelers (W)

14. Ravens Over Broncos (W)

15. Buccaneers Over Patriots* (W)

16. Raiders Over Chargers (L)

Week’s Score: 10W-6L Current Season Score: 43W-21W

WEEK 4 REVIEW:

I won’t say that I’m unhappy with 10-6 for the 2nd week in a row, but there were more than a couple of let downs this week and a few team who have shifted the perception around them for the worst.

Starting with those damn, Tennessee Titans, who somehow pulled off the the miracle of losing to the Jets. Some of that is due to the Jets being a little bit better than what they’re given credit for and playing their butts off on the day, and a whole lot of it is the Titans injuries and their defense is just not up to par.

The New Orleans Saints lost at home, to the lowly New York Giants, and it’s time to stop judging them for who they were when they had Brees and start judging them for who they are. The jury is still out because this is the same team that stomped the Packers in week 1 but they’re losing to teams they should beat now and giving away a 4th quarter leads is not a good look. Daniel Jones throwing for 300 yards? Are you truly a top defense when this happens to you?

If there was a game I would do over, it’s that Cowboys-Panthers game, the Cowboys may have finally earned some respect from me, because they won this very convincingly and that passing attack with Dak Prescott is legit, he has 10 touchdowns in 4 weeks of football. So maybe, just maybe.

Kyle Shanahan and the 49ers lost to a Seahawks team that I would still consider to be the worst team in the NFC West. Worse yet, is that Jimmy Garappolo is injured again. It’s a good thing they have Trey Lance but Shanahan is kind of being vindicated by this turn of events. Now his guy, Trey, needs to ball out.

In the other NFC West clash, the Arizona Cardinals smacked the daylights out of the Rams. That’ll bring Los Angeles back to earth some. That got out of hand and was a statement game for Kyler Murray and the Cardinals.

And in the final upset of week, the the Raiders went down on Monday Night Football to Justin Herbert and the Chargers. The Chargers, whom I still consider to be from San Diego because LA have not embraced them, are looking like a force in one of the AFC’s most competitive divisions.

Last but definitely not least, was that glorious game in New England. Tom Brady lead his team to a victory in Foxborough after Belichick opted to take a 58 yard field goal and kicker, Nick Folk would miss the attempted game winner.

It was marvelous. That game had everything, could easily be the best game we watch all season.

In the end, Brady finally got some measure of payback and the boy Bill Belichick, no even sticking around to chat after the game. Bill needs to stop thinking that scowling and throwing reporters dirty looks is going to be enough, those damn, New England reporters better do their job and ask ALL of the tough questions. I don’t care how moody or nonresponsive he becomes, it’s Bill’s turn to eat crow, and we have plenty to serve to him.

#nfl week 4 #tom brady #bill belichick #new england patriots #tampa bay buccaneers

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drunklander · 5 years ago

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Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 504

Let’s make this one quick, because tbh I really dgaf about Alicia and Isiah and I’m almost done with Maas’ new book so if any other’s in the Maaslander squad wanna chat about it, I have feelings.

They’re really dragging this Bonnet thing out, aren’t they. I mean, the books did too, but they could have, ya know, AdApTeD. Le sigh.

Hallo the house is the olde timey version of texting “here” when you get to your buddy’s place.

This episode could really be titled Men Suck.

I mean really. Roger? The Browns? Bonnet? Even fucking Elijah Ford manages to suck and we never even see him!

Jamie doesn’t suck much in this episode. Which is a nice change of pace for him. But he’s been headcanon’ed beyond recognition so whatevs.

Fergus doesn’t suck. Fergus is always the exception who can hang with the ladies because he’s cool enough to be in the good squad.

I just fucking love Fergus ok.

As someone who *hates* shopping, back in the day shopping seems like my exact version of hell.

Also, like, have these fuckers not learned their lessons about not communicating? They don’t need to fucking tell everyone the whole truth, but come the fuck on. They can at least give the Ridge Squad a heads up to not fuck with rando Irishmen who may show up.

I swear, they’re all so dumb it hurts.

Also, Bree, girl. You’re talking to an old Scottish lady. Maybe don’t shit on the Irish in a way that also directly applies to her.

Alicia was Mr. Darcy’s daughter on Ripper Street, right? She looks super familiar.

I’m offended on Fergus’ behalf that they’re wasting so much of his whisky with that leaky stopper, tbh.

Ah, toxic masculinity and patriarchal bullshit. Right up there with rape as my FaVoRiTe way to demonstrate that ye olde times sucked.

It’s like dialed to 11 this episode so obvi I spent the majority of it rolling my eyes.

The Jamie and Claire with the baby stuff was solid though.

And thank fuck they refer to her as Bonnie. Like, Diana is notoriously bad with names, but come the fuck on. Alicia Brown and Alicia Beardsley in like the same few chapters? THERE ARE A LOT OF NAMES IN EXISTENCE, DIANA. IT’S OK TO BRANCH OUT A BIT.

Every time something like this comes up, I remember that there’s another random Randall but like as a first name, I think, in the Gathering Without End. Because of course.

Fergus should really be a fucking diplomat. I mean really.

I am approximately 1000% over sing-alongs with Roger. Can we hang the fucker already so he can’t talk anymore?

Yay freedom! You know what goes well with freedom? An incestuous throuple. You do you, Beardsleys.

“You’re 14.” “Uh, I am clearly in my mid-20s.” “Nope, 14.” “Cool cool. Message received.”

“Congratulations, you work fast milord.” I JUST FUCKING LOVE FERGUS SO MUCH.

Seriously, this show needs more Fergus. Also more Fergus, Bree and Marsali bonding. Like, if we’re gonna have an episode about randos, we clearly could have better used the time to have the Fraser kiddos bonding.

“When in Rome...” STFU, Roger. Cosplaying your way through history like you’re on a fieldtrip isn’t cute. It’s fucking annoying. And you wonder why Jamie doesn’t like you. You are an eminently unlikable person.

Roger would def be the guest the hosts in Westworld want to kill.

The only good part about this side-quest is that there’s so much of Jamie telling Roger he sucks. And really, I’m here for any and all of Roger being told he sucks.

Ok but literalol at how badly Caitriona/Claire knocked over her mug. She like put it down fine and then tipped it over.

Oh hey, I wonder who that rando doctor who gives the weird advice is.

Lucinda is a cinnamon roll.

“Beauchamp, Randall, Fraser, now Rawlings? Ye have another husband I should ken about?” “Well, not yet, but you know your buddy who’s in love with you? Well...”

Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp Randall Fraser Randall Fraser Grey Fraser is a very respectable name.

DON’T MAKE FUN OF THE DRINK OF FERGUS�� PEOPLE, BROWN MAN.

Literally the whole time in Brownsville all I could think was fuck, I really don’t want them to do the ABOSAA bit with them next season but I know they’re gonna and I already don’t want to waste time doing fucking recaps.

I’m bored.

Fuck there’s still half an hour left.

“What sort of man would I be if I allowed a lady to sleep out with the militia on a cold, dark night?” Idk, the kind of man whose people kidnap and rape a lady? *preemptive rage intensifies*

I know I should be freaking out that Bree’s freaking out that Bonnet kidnapped Jemmy, but all I could think of is the old podsa ads for SimpliSafe.

The Ridge needs SimpliSafay.

I fucking hate this storyline with the passion of a thousand fiery suns, but I fucking love Marsali.

Omfg I know it’s Brownsville but them all being Browns is fucking like GoT shit. Like, diversify your gene pool, y’all.

Ok, glad there’s finally a Marsali and Bree scene. But I still wish they could hang and like chat about stuff like pals.

That being said, MARSALI IS A FUCKING SAINT AND I LOVE HER SO MUCH.

And of course, more violence against women. Because we can’t go two seconds without reminding the audience that the past is Bad and Dangerous for women.

Also, is Marsali still preggo? Which baby are we on? What time is it? How much longer is left in this season episode?

Cute of Claire to be like hey, Rog, Jamie’s trusting you with me! His favorite thing! Like Jamie’s not actually trusting Claire with his daughter’s dipshit husband.

Oh hey, remember how Brianna can draw Bonnet fairly accurately? Sure would be nice if there was a way to, idk, show those pics to folks on the Ridge. Just spit-balling here, but like, maybe giving folks a heads up would be a good idea. Kind of like how she fuCKING COULD HAVE DRAWN ROGER LAST YEAR BECAUSE TALKING ABOUT HER BOYFRIEND IS A NORMAL THING TO DO WITH FAMILY AND THEN WE WOULDN’T HAVE HAD ROGERGATE AND OMFG THE DUMB. IT HURTS SO MUCH.

Claire just fucking yeeted that baby lol.

For real though, literalol at Jamie like taking his coat off and being all dramatic as he prepares to... play DDR.

omega psi chi phi upsilon tau sigma rho pi omicron xi nu mu lambda kappa iota theta eta zeta epsilon delta gamma beta alpha

Drunk!Claire is back!

I fucking love drunk!Claire. So does Jamie.

The scene where they talk about raising the baby together is adorable. But also, like, Jamie, you’re grandparents now. All the good parts of parenting with none of the shitty parts! And y’all have been through enough shit in your lives that you deserve all the fluffy grandparenting!

“And Marsali and Fergus... Well, I’m sure they will keep the Ridge sufficiently populated if that’s what you’re worried about.” “ Yeah, that lass is with child every time Fergus lays eyes upon her.” WHERE IS THE LIE THO.

Joking aside though, they’d better keep giving Marsali more stuff to do than spit out babies. *aggressively side-eyes a certain author who DiDn’T lIkE wRiTiNg AbOuT kIdS*

Good on them for tweeting out the suicide prevention hotline. Literally the least they can do.

I’m barely really trying to give a shit about Alicia and Isiah, but alas, idgaf.

Literally the only good thing about this whole story line is Isiah being like “step the fuck off, you raging hypocrites” to Roger and Jamie.

#*#outlander starz #outlander 5x04 #drunj!der yells about outlander

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ladywynneoutlander · 5 years ago

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Heart’s Abundance

More sweet times on the Ridge as William finds his place.

Part 2 Hearthside

Part 1, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 , Part 6

After our harvest meal the afternoon passes in pleasant repletion. The adults scatter to various corners to doze and chat. Jem, Germain, and Fanny disappear outside. I can hear them laughing as I lay a quilt over a sleeping Mandy. She took to John Quincey immediately, and is now curled up beside him on the settle.

This state of peaceful repose lasts approximately an hour. Then Jamie stands and stretches himself, back popping. He looks at William, “Will ye walk wi’ me? I can reacquaint you with the place.”

William stands as well, nodding, “Yes, of course.” He remains a bit formal, and I wish I knew more about their last meeting.

I watch them from the kitchen door as they go, boots crunching the fallen leaves with each step, so alike in gait and height that no one could fail to see them for what they are, a father and his son.

When I turn around Ian is there with his baby in his arms. He stares thoughtfully at the door for a moment before sitting down at the table. He says nothing and I wait patiently, taking the baby and feeling his warm heavy weight. Finally, Young Ian turns to me, “Ye know Auntie, I don’t know why yon man has come, but I think maybe it’s to do with you as well as Uncle Jamie.”

I shake my head. “I don’t think so Ian. Whatever would William want with me?”

Ian gives a small smile, “Maybe he needs ye.”

I gently rock the baby, not looking up as I say, “No. What use could I possibly be?”

Ian touches my arm to draw my attention. His brown eyes are soft. “Ye can be kind. Ye can be a comfort.”

His voice becomes more matter-of-fact. “The Mohawk do say women are great healers of body and spirit. They provide strength and consistency to all.” He smiles at me, “Maybe William needs to find his strength just now.”

I nod, but I’m not convinced. “Maybe.”

We sit a moment longer, enjoying the peace. I smooth the baby’s soft downy hair, then give him my finger, watching in fascination as the tiny hand closes around it even in sleep.

Finally, Ian moves to go. “Just think on it, Auntie, aye?” He takes the little one and leaves to find Rachel.

I stay by myself for a time, and it comes to me how much William has been through. The loss of two mothers (three if you count me) and Jane. Consistency indeed. Also, the loss of his very identity. He had been loved, that much I knew, but must feel very alone and confused just now. I remember how difficult the same situation was for Brianna. She felt heartbroken and torn, betrayed. Compassion wells in me, and as the sun sinks behind the trees I feel a tear slide warm down my cheek.

-o0OOO0o-

That evening, lying close and warm next to Jamie, I hear how their meeting went.

Jamie took the boy to the White Spring, that place of truth. William was quiet on the trail, turned inward. When they arrived, Jamie broke the thin scrim of ice and took a cold mouthful. William did the same, wiping his mouth on his sleeve.

Jamie settled himself on a boulder and smiled at the boy. “So, if ye’ll forgive my asking, what brings ye to the Ridge?”

William didn’t answer immediately. He sat as well and drew in a deep breath before speaking. “First, I should like to thank you for your assistance in the matter of Jane, and also for the care you’ve given her sister.”

Jamie waves his hand in dismissal, “’Twas nothing lad. Any decent man would have done the same.”

William gave a mild snort, “I take leave to doubt that. Still, not any man did. You did, and with barely a thought. I knew M--,” he hesitated, then went on, “Mother Claire, both she and my father say you are an honorable man. Apparently, they are right.”

They sat with this for a moment, admiring the slant of golden sunlight through the yellow of chestnut and birch. When William didn’t say more Jamie ventured, “The thought had occurred to me that ye may be in some trouble?” He made the last into a question.

William shrugged irritably. “No. Not trouble exactly. I have someone to find, my cousin Ben, but I cannot continue in that search until spring. That’s not why I’m here.” He stood up suddenly, and paced a bit before taking a deep breath and facing Jamie squarely. “I have come to ask if I might stay for a time. Here,” he adds, as if there were doubt, “on Fraser’s Ridge.”

Jamie was surprised, but quickly brought his face back to neutrality. He still thought William likely needed help in some way, but maybe it isn’t the kind he needed before. He stood and extended a hand, grasping the lad’s shoulder. “Aye, of course, ye’re always welcome.”

Wiliam takes a step backward, away from him, but not in a harsh way. “Thank you. I don’t require anything. I can sleep in the barn or wherever is convenient.”

Jamie smiled at him, “Aye, that’s good, but we can likely find ye a bed.”

They made their way home in the last light of the day. Jamie felt as though a new path had opened before him, unknown and steep, but one that led to a bonny place.

-o0OOO0o-

The next day we bid farewell to John Quincey, off to overwinter with the Cherokee. William stays. He gradually fits into the routine of the Ridge; hunting, doing farm chores, and joining Roger or Bree whenever they venture out. He is beloved instantly by the children, playing with the boys, talking with Fanny, and carrying Mandy perched high on his shoulder. Still, he is mostly quiet, listening and observing.

I can tell Brianna is pleased, eager to embrace this new brother. William seems equally in awe of her, and they seem to find joy in each other. More than once I catch Jamie watching them, a look of quiet happiness on his face.

One day I come into the study to find Jamie looking out the window. Outside Brianna and William are exercising the horses, walking them in circles and brushing their shaggy winter coats. He doesn’t turn, but he must have sensed me, because he holds his hand out toward me, inviting. I take it and he draws me against him. I circle my arms around his waist, and feel his arms come around me in turn, the warmth of him a comfort and a blessing.

Jamie is still engaged in the scene outside, “I never thought to see such a grand thing, Sassenach.”

I give him a squeeze of acknowledgement and laugh. “Neither did I! I nearly fell off the porch when I saw William.”

Jamie smiles as well, “Aye, and ye weren’t the only one.”

He holds me for a while longer. I look up at Jamie’s face, happy now, but with tiny lines framing his striking blue eyes. I can feel the scars on his back beneath his shirt, and it comes to me how many hardships he faced to bring us to this moment. I am moved with love for him, and lay a hand over his heart. “Jamie, I want you to know. I’m glad he’s here. We all are.”

Jamie takes my hand and turns to face me fully, “I know ye are. You are a wonder, truly. He isna yours, and it isna right that he should be here to torment you. Thank ye Claire, for welcoming the lad.”

“Posh,” I say gently. “He’s yours, Jamie, for that alone I would love him. But also…” I pause, looking outside while I gather my thoughts. “Also, I love him for himself. He’s a fine boy and he was very kind when I spent time with him in Boston.” I know Jamie doesn’t like to recall my marriage to John Grey, but it matters here. ��I think- maybe, I can be there for him, maybe be a sort of mother to him.”

Jamie doesn’t answer and I glance up. I am surprised to see unshed tears glimmer in his eyes. “He couldna have a finer one,” he says huskily. He pulls me close then, bends his head, and kisses me. His mouth is soft and his arms are strong, and all is warmth and hope between us.

-o0OOO0o-

The evenings are long in winter. It is the time for songs, and fires, hearth and home. When the family gathers late in the evening, the children tucked in bed, we often tell stories. We hear Highland tales of kelpies and fairies, farmers and lairds. We hear personal stories about family and friends, also C.S. Lewis, E.B. White, Louisa May Alcott, the lives of Saints, romantic poetry, and Greek heroes. And in each telling, regardless of the subject, we reveal a bit more of ourselves to one another.

It is nearly a fortnight before William tells a story of his own, venturing forth with a story about Sergeant Cutter that has laughter ringing from the rafters, fit to wake the entire Ridge. He speaks more often after that, sometimes tales of adventure, and rarely, of his boyhood. Once he even mentions a groom named MacKenzie.

Tonight we are up particularly late, and the room has grown quiet. The air is heavy, and I know we will wake on the morrow under a blanket of white. Into this expectancy William speaks. Quietly, his elbows on his knees as he watches the hearthfire, he begins a story of Isobel.

“Mother Isobel loved Christmas. She festooned every railing and mantel with greenery. The whole house smelled grand. Even if it were only the two of us, as it often was after we lost grandfather, we sang carols, and had pudding and candies. She made it special every year… magical. To a boy.” He pauses and we wait, listening to the gentle crackle and pop of dried pine wood.

“One year there was a terrible storm. I remember the wind howling down the chimneys and causing the yule log to flare up and wave about. I was frightened and began to cry and whinge. I was a little devil truly. I was really crying from loneliness though, and from being left behind. Mother Isobel somehow knew the truth of it. She took me onto her lap and stroked my hair. ‘Willie, my darling, sometimes those we love cannot be with us. We may wish it fervently, but circumstances cannot be changed. Absence doesn’t mean they love us less, or we them. Indeed, it is often their care for us that keeps them away. They must do what is necessary. But remember love, they are never gone from our hearts.’”

William looks at Jamie. “I thought those words ridiculous then. I felt abandoned, and I let my grief turn to anger at those who left me.” He takes a deep breath, “Now though, I think I understand, and I find Mother Isobel was wise indeed.”

“Aye, that she was,” Jamie says kindly.

We sigh collectively. Roger pulls a guitar into his lap, strumming a chord. “Let’s have a tune. A song to love’s sacrifices,” he says in his rough voice. He turns to Brianna and smiles. “They are always worth it.”

As Roger plays my mind wanders. First to William and his story. Yes, maybe healing of a kind is needed, hopefully has begun already. I will do all I can to help, and the peace of the Ridge will be a balm if William lets it. There is no outside world, no war here. Not yet. Not in winter.

The sacrifices of love. I remember Frank and dear Uncle Lamb. Then further, to Geillis, Dougal, Rupert, and Colum. They all loved, whether people or causes or places or things, and made their choices accordingly. And where were they now? I shudder and Jamie pulls me closer against him, a buttress against the past. I lean on him gratefully. We two know better than anyone the heavy sacrifice that true love can require, and times like this are all the more precious for the knowing. So I return to the present, put my head on Jamie’s chest, and simply listen.

Thanks for reading! I promise family fun next week!

#outlander #heart's abundance

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purewhitepages · 5 years ago

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La Retour de Foi Chapter 7

A/N: This is the end of Arc I but I could go on. If you have any suggestions, replies and asks are open. Thank you so much for all your continued support. I wrote the first draft of this fic in Feb. and I was sure it was something nobody would want to read. I’ve never been more happy to be wrong.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 6

Claire woke earlier in the morning than usual. She went about her routine as she would any other day, to be sure. Today was going to be a long day of preparation for the Reunion the next day. There was the tent to put up and food to cook, decoration and set up. She was definitely going to need some coffee.

She made her way down the stairs and towards the kitchen. She noticed voices and the smell of eggs and coffee wafting through the air from the open door. She smiled and stepped over the threshold to witness a scene that made tears well up in her eyes.

“And he was sore because you did so well?” Her husband was at the stove, cooking, his whole body was turned towards the person seated on the counter near him.

Faith’s eyes sparkled and the sunlight beamed through the window beside her. Her dark brown, curly hair was piled on-top of her head and she wore earrings with a white peasant blouse and jean shorts. She seemed to positively radiate light, banishing the shadows from her perch next to the sink.

She nodded to Jamie’s question. “I became president of the chess club when I was a senior, and we ended up going to States. Which, who’s to say wouldn’t’ve happened if he hadn’t taught me, but I wouldn’t have gone, and that’s the important part, I think.”

Jamie nodded, sliding the omelet onto a plate and handing it out to her. “No doubt.”

A small sound came from Claire’s throat, making them both look up to see her standing in the doorway, staring at them. She covered her mouth and shook her head.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “Don’t get up, just stay there.”

Her husband smiled at her and nodded. “I’ll make ye an egg, Sassenach, and ye can sit with wee Faith and let her regale ye with stories of her youth.” Jamie seemed to have grown a foot taller, as if the weight of the last few weeks had rolled off him in the night.

The two women sat at the table as Jamie whistled a tune to the sound which Claire was sure was supposed to be “Garden Grow” but sounded more like a very confused bird. She smiled.

“So, tell me, what were you doing in London?” She asked Faith, bringing the young woman out of her thoughts.

She smiled at Claire. “I have some friends living there, Denny Hunter and I went to medical school together.”

Claire smiled. “Where did you go for medical school?”

“I went to Appalachia State in North Carolina for my pre-med, but then Harvard for med school.”

Claire smiled. “What did you specialize in?”

“General Surgery, I graduated a little over a year ago.”

They chatted very broadly for a few minutes. Faith told her parents about growing up in Maine and about her travels. Eventually, after their breakfast was complete, they ran into a lull in the conversation. Claire eyed her daughter as she chewed her lip. Jamie had always teased Claire for her glass face, and she finally knew the true meaning of that statement. It was clear that Faith had only one question on her mind: how did such a loving and supporting family have a child taken away from them? And when Claire asked, her suspicion turned out to be true.

“I know you probably think I’ll be upset by whatever you tell me,” Faith said. “But I’d like to know all the same.”

There was an uncomfortable silence for a moment and Faith held her breath.

“Do you want to go first or should I?” Claire asked.

“I’ll go first.” Jamie cleared his throat. “Yer mam and I met at University, at St. Andrews. At the time we were both very involved with the Scottish Independence Movement-” With this, Jamie paused a moment, gathering his words.

“A cause we both support to this day,” Claire stepped in.

“O’ course, o’ course. Well, yer mam and I, we got married just a year later. We were verra young, Faith, verra young. In our movement, ye have to understand, we met some of the best men and women to have ever walked this earth. But there were some-- let’s say, not quite as bright as the rest.” The tone of his voice made Faith’s heart skip a beat. “When yer mam was pregnant with ye, I attended a protest in Edinburgh that went verra badly. The police came, and a woman was trampled to death in the ensuing riot.” Bree held back her gasp as she pressed further against the wall. “I was arrested, and tried under conspiracy to commit terrorism.”

“But you’re not a terrorist!” Faith insisted.

“Aye, a leannan.” There was a smile in his voice and Faith bit her lip. “The charge was reduced, but I still went to prison. And yer mam-...”

“I-” Claire’s voice cut through Jamie’s somber words but then she cut herself off. “You have to understand, Faith, that I was very young and very pregnant, and, quite suddenly, very alone. They investigated all of us, and I was very scared.” She took another breath. “I started to have problems with my pregnancy on top of all this stress, and I had to be placed in the hospital.” She took a deep breath as if preparing herself for the next bit. “During your birth, there were many complications, and the doctors were very concerned that you wouldn’t survive. They kept you under observation as we both recovered, but I wasn’t allowed to see you. It was this that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. My husband was in jail, as were most of my close friends, the police were at my home, I hadn’t slept in my own bed in weeks, I almost died in childbirth on top of the pregnancy hormones and, to top it all off, I couldn’t even see my newborn daughter. I had a complete mental breakdown and your aunt and uncle checked me into a mental hospital.” Jamie hand embraced Claire’s and she smiled sadly at him as she sniffed.

“And they took me away?” Faith asked.

Jamie nodded. “Ye were placed with the McTavishes while yer mam was recovering. I was released after a year and we fought for the next several years to get ye back, but- ‘twas not to be. The crime of association cost us everything but each other.” Jamie sighed and held his wife closer. Faith reached out and took his hand. He smiled at her. “But, ‘twas not long after that, Fergus came to us, needing a home, and we had Brianna and William. And we were able to restore my father’s old home, Lallybroch. Life went on, though a small piece of us was missing until now.” He squeezed her hand and she smiled back at him.

“Yes, we have so much,” Claire said. “But what we lost-...it wasn’t worth it, in the end. Faith, you are our blood, but not our daughter. What we could’ve had is gone.”

Faith reached out her other hand to take Claire’s. “I cannot say what could have been, and there isn’t a lot of use for it.” She took Claire’s hand in both of hers and gripped it tightly. “I am here now, I am alive, I am so glad to know you, and I am thankful for everything you have done for me. I will be here for you all, no matter what. I know I haven’t been here long. But I know, in my heart of hearts, that this is where I belong.”

Brianna stepped away from the kitchen doorway and went back up to her room. Roger was still on the phone in the hallway with the head professor. She touched his shoulder on the way back to her bed. Her parents had never kept the story from the children of what happened to them in their youth, but she had never heard it in such detail before. How much pain had they carried all these years and never spoke of?

It was 8:30 am and Bree was already exhausted. She hadn’t been able to sleep well after the events of the day before, and then Roger was woken up by a call from the lead professor on his team. It was looking like he would have to go home early. There was so much on her mind and she just wanted a damn cup of coffee for heaven’s sake. What she’d gotten was a lot more information than she was sure her parents wanted her to hear.

A part of her wanted to be mad at Faith, blame her for disrupting the status quo, but she couldn’t find it in her to do so. What would she have done in her shoes? Probably something much dafter, Bree thought ruefully to herself.

“Did ye get some breakfast?” Roger asked, poking his head into the door. Bree shook her head. “Well, best head down, don’t you think? Lots to do today so I hear.”

Epilogue

‘“Good morning to you all,” Jamie began and there was a chorus of greetings in response. “It is a great honor to have ye all here today at what will hopefully be the First Annual Fraser-Murray Reunion at Lallybroch.” He paused for applause and cheering. “As many of ye know, it has been a dream of our family’s to restore our ancestral home of Broch Turach, more affectionately known as Lallybroch, to its former glory. I stand here today, proud to announce that this goal, which has been a dream of my father, and his mother before him, has been completed.” Another round of cheering and whooping accompanied this and Jamie himself grinned at the smiling faces before him. “Yes, it is a very great honor to stand here today, to say those words, and to welcome my family home.” He paused a moment.

“Though most of the hard labor has been completed, there is still much work to be done in regards to upkeep and running of this once mighty estate. This task is not something one person can bear, but I have every faith that we can bear it, together.” His eyes sought out his wife and each one of his children as he spoke. “Today, however, we celebrate our success, our bond, and the chance to be a whole family, for the first time in history.” His voice broke at the end but he swallowed and soon recovered, wiping his nose quickly on his sleeve. “I would like to propose a toast-” A cacophony of sounds occurred as everyone stood and raised their glasses with Jamie. “-to Lallybroch and to Family.”

“To Lallybroch and to Family,” everyone echoed and fell silent as they drank.

“Let the festivities begin!”

A cheer erupted. Kitty wrapped an arm around Faith and the two girls embraced. She held up her glass of Mrs. Bug’s famous lemonade and cleared her throat. “To you, Faith, and the long winding journey ye took to get here. Better late than never.”

Faith laughed and linked her arm through her cousin’s, drinking from her own glass.

Though the party was to celebrate Lallybroch and the family, most of the activities centered around Faith. Everyone wanted to talk to her, but most just settled on being near her. She never faltered under the attention she was receiving, only showed love to everyone.

She met Murtagh properly, along with his fiance, Jocasta--who embraced Faith and promised to tell her all about the MacKenzies and the Frasers at a later time. Murtagh was clutching a package that was hastily wrapped in Christmas paper and presented it to Faith. She thanked him and grinned at the scrawled

“Welcome home, Faith” on the front as she undid the ribbon. Inside the package was a knitted blanket of forest green. It smelled freshly washed, but was very old, from what Faith could tell.

“I made that blanket with my own two hands,” Murtagh told her, jabbing the yarn with his fingers. “As I did for all of yer parent’s bairns afore they were born. Never got the chance to give it to ye, and I guess I could’ve given it to yer sister, but, it didna feel right to give a bairn a blanket meant for another child.” He shrugged. “Must’ve been intuition, for I’m giving it to ye now. ‘Tis a wee bit small- oh!” Murtagh gasped as the young woman threw her full weight against him in a tight hug. “There, there now, lass,” he said as she sobbed into his shoulder.

“Thank you.” The words were muffled by his shoulder but they made him smile all the same.

There were games to play and food to eat. As the day turned into night, the young people had all gathered at a table and were talking and laughing. After a song from Young Jamie (who was about one whisky away from proper drunk), Young Ian asked Faith about her tattoos. With a wary eye to the older people not far away, Faith stripped off her flannel shirt to stand in her tank top, exposing most of her tattoos.

“I got each of them after something important in my life,” she explained, pointing to some writing on her bicep. “My mom used to always write me notes on my lunch box, so I got it tattooed. ‘Tha gaol agam ort, a nighean.’ The thistle is for my dad.” She pulled the neck of the garment down to expose the single stalk of thistle placed right over her heart. “He died of cancer five years ago. The foxglove is a matching one I got with a girl in MSF in South Africa. The first one I got when I applied to school when I was 17,” She pointed to caduceus on her opposite shoulder. “I was really nervous about getting it.”

“Scared it would hurt?” Ian asked and Faith shook her head.

“Nah, I can stand pain no problem. I was worried because I was still waiting to hear if I’d gotten into the pre-med program, and if I hadn’t then it would’ve been very embarrassing for me.” There was a laugh as Faith put her shirt back on and sat down.

“Were you thinking of getting one, Ian?” she asked.

Ian’s ears turned pink but he nodded. “Aye.” He fished his phone out of his pocket and pulled up a picture to show Faith. “I was thinking of getting this.”

“Did you draw this?” Faith asked. “Kitty, look at this.” She took Ian’s phone to show it to Kitty beside her. Kitty looked to see a minimalistic drawing of purple heather with the words “Je suis prest” in black in.

“Prêt is spelled wrong though, just so you know, before you get that on you.”

Ian let out a laugh. “Ye dinna ken yer own family motto, lass. That’s how it’s supposed to be spelled.”

“What?” Faith grabbed the phone back from Kitty to look back at it again. She stared at it for a long while, before giving it back to Ian.”

“Who were you planning on getting it from?”

“There’s a lad in the village who says he can do it for me.”

“Do you mind if I get it too?”

Ian’s eyes lit up and he nodded ecstatically.

“Me too?” Kitty asked.

“Oh, I dinna ken, Kitty-”

“Och, shut up, I’m getting it and that’s that.”

Bree sat forward in her seat and held out her hand. “Let me see it.” Ian passed her the phone and she scrutinized the drawing. “I think I’ll get it to.”

At Bree’s approval, most of the younger generation all had a look at the drawing and decided to get it done as well. Even Jamie, who had hitherto been unapproving of tattoos said he would be willing to consider it, but that Willie was not allowed to get one until he was 18. They made a plan to go the next day to Ian’s friend and see about getting the tattoos done.

Claire stayed out of the discussion mostly. She didn’t feel comfortable butting in on the young people’s plans and passed on the opportunity to get a tattoo. She smiled as Faith sat beside her and brushed their shoulders together.

“Mam,” Faith said, softly.

“What is it, my darling?” She pushed a bit of hair out of her daughter’s face and tucked it behind her ear.

“I’d like to get a tattoo for you, if that’s alright.” Claire blinked a bit and nodded.

“What did you have in mind?”

“Well, actually, I had an idea about matching one for the two of us, if you’d like.” Claire listened as she told about her plan and agreed with a small tear in her eye.

The next day, she was holding the hand of her husband and watching as Ian’s friend worked. Though the words would now be permanently visible on her skin, the idea had always existed in her heart. When they were done, she placed her right hand, wrist up, next to her daughter’s for a picture.

When placed together, the tattoos made up the first law of thermodynamics: “Nothing is lost...Only changed.”

Fin

#outlander #outlander fanfiction #outlander fanfic #outlander fic #jamie/claire #jamie x claire #jamie fraser #jamie/claire fic #jamie/claire fanfiction #jamie/claire fanfic #faith fraser #claire beauchamp #claire fraser #faith lives #return of faith #outlander modern au #jamie/claire modern au

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mrsfraserheughan · 5 years ago

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I’ve been avoiding writing the inevitable for weeks- My thoughts on how S5 is going so far.

Ep1: Sam was great... except he can lose Ben Franklin’s glasses.

Soph has a lot of trouble being convincing in normal scenes. She can’t play content and happy, but does better in scenes where she can be scared or angry.

Cait spent most of the episode squinting her eyes while doing closed mouth smiles. Is her aging makeup restricting her facial movement?

Rik looked like a stuffed toad in the colonial wedding outfit.

Then we were subjected to that gosh awful song by RR 🥴 which was a nauseating lead-in to the menage a trois scene. Awful background music for a sex scene. 🤮

Jamie & Claire had some cute parts like when she was pulling his boots off. But cute doesn’t cut it anymore as this show is already on borrowed time. And no, I’m not even going to mention Broger or Murcosta “sex.” 🤢

Jamie coming out in the kilt was wonderful. The kilt itself is a character that has been sorely missed in the series even though Jamie still wore it in the books quite often.

———————

Ep2: I can pretty much skip over this episode all together because to me any episode where Jamie and Claire have zero scenes together is highly forgettable. Though Sam is a terrific actor and can spin gold out of any shit storyline they are shoveling at him.

Claire & her plates of mold and the boring surgery storylines-I can do with a lot less of.

—————

Ep3: “Tender Frasers” these domestic fireside chats are high up on the list of necessities. Not! They haven’t seen each other for many days or even weeks! The Jamie and Claire I know would be tearing the clothes off each other to reconnect. Rubbing their faces on each other like Nala & Simba isn’t doing it for anybody! And if you disagree you are or probably lying to yourself.

Then a total screwup when they had Jamie staring lovingly at Bree before they rode off, and the two didn’t even say goodbye to each other! Ugh 🤦‍♀️

The Beardsley house was to be expected but they took up about 2/3 of the episode there...way too much time on another boring storyline. Yes they followed the book there but Fiery Cross isn’t 1400 pages for nothing! Many boring parts in the book as well. DG herself admitted she didn’t have enough time to edit the book properly.

————————

Ep4: The Browns...followed the book. But it’s a boring part of the book imo. It gave them a way to pass the baby off to another family. J&C’s discussion about whether to keep the baby was sweet.

“The Waltons” music they played during Morton’s declaration of love was just weird. Then we had Jamie’s foreshadowing that ep5 would not have any Jamie and Claire scenes together since he was sending her home early lol. Thanks for the warning Colonel.

——————-

Ep5: the constant switching back and forth to the useless storyline in the 1960’s was distracting and a time waster. Nope Matt & Maril, we didn’t forget that Claire is a time traveler. ...

Sidenote: doesn’t it piss you off that Matt and Maril are together in real life and had twins last year- they both work on outlander and are allowed to be together, while Cait & Sam have been forced to hide their relationship for many years now. Anyway, back to the programming. Fuck u Hirsch, Albrect, Parnell and any other douche nozzles involved.

What else can I say about this episode? I thought it was actually acted well by all parties. But yet another episode where Jamie and Claire barely had a scene together. 2 min together during the whole episode doesn’t cut it! And since Frank couldn’t be present, they just had to throw in the sick patient with the name Menzies 😂

———————

Thinking ahead to Ep6 🤔👀🥴 I am looking forward to the barn scene which is possibly the best scene in the entire 1400 pages of the Fiery Cross. Which is why I’m scared and hopeful at the same time. I can easily see these writers royally screwing up one of the best sex scenes in the book. Will they take away Jamie’s best line “look down damn you! watch while I take ye!” Drunk Jamie sex 🙌 Will we be given the scene earlier where Jamie is pissed that she’s in the stable with Wylie? Then he kisses her angrily and passionately in front of all the onlookers? What about the “footsie” scene that is right before Claire walking down to drunk Jamie on the staircase? I am not hopeful that all those things will be included. And I don’t wait up till the wee hours anymore to watch the episode drop on the app. It can usually wait till morning.

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imagineclaireandjamie · 6 years ago

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Are we going to get more flood my mornings?

FMM: Of Small Kangaroos

This story takes place in an AU where Jamie travels through the stones two years after Culloden and finds Claire and his child in 1950 Boston.

FMM Master List

Previously: Found

**Backtracking timewise just a bit on this one! The woes of getting acclimated to your own AU timeline again ;)**

—-

November, 1952

“Can’t you stay home this morning?” she wheedled, wiping maple syrup from Ian’s chin. Christ, how sweet she looked in her Turtle’s-Neck sweater, the cabled one the same color as her skin. Not even six o’clock—bairns make early risers of all, aye?—and still her eyes were bright and sharp. “It’s Sunday and cold as b…all-get-out.”

“I wish I could.” He’d like nothing better than to spend a few stolen hours abed with her while the children napped away the afternoon. “But I canna,” he said, the last piece of toast in his mouth as he began clearing up the dishes. “Promised Hank I would go in and cover for h—”

“DA, Mummy SAID, it’s—”

“Don’t *interrupt*, Bree,” they chanted with one well-worn voice.

Brianna sighed with even greater exasperation and piled every remaining piece of bacon onto her plate with a grumble that sounded a great deal like. “…interruptin’ me….”

“Brianna Ellen.” Claire’s head tilted, hawk’s eye fixed with deadly precision. “Attitude.”

“S’too cold out there, Daddy,” the lass piped at once with saccharine primness that dared anyone to question its sincerity.

“Aye, ‘tis cold,” he agreed, sharing a secret, rueful glance with Claire, “and that means the horses will be, too.” He laid a freshly-scrubbed plate onto the rack and took up the next. “Shall ye come along wi’ me to the barn, then, cub?”

“Me?”

“ME!” Ian parroted, slithering down from his seat.

“Aye, you, and yer Mam, and Ian? Make a wee outing of it?”

“No-thanks,” came the verdict of the bacon-cruncher. “Dinna wanna put my coat on.”

“Ye lazy wee baggage!” He cast over his shoulder for her and spied Claire first, hiding behind her mug. “No!…Et tu, mo nighean donn?”

“It’s awfully warm and cozy indoors….” Her guilty grin gave way to a yawn, then a stretch. “And I really do need to stay,” she said, bringing her stocking-feet up onto the seat and hugging her knees, “got to make a dent in these applications today.”

This last rose in crescendo, still barely heard over the din of:

“CAN I–”

“Me-me-meee!!!”

“CAN I BE ‘SCUUUSED!?”

“Verra well,” he sighed at Claire with a wink, Bree seizing upon this as permission and tearing out of the kitchen while Jamie dried his hands. “I suppose I’ll don my coat and set off all alone into the frigid—”

“Meeeeee!!”

At last, he took notice of the smallest Fraser, who had been wrapped around his leg. “Why, hallo, YOU.”

“Go, too?” he asked excitedly in Gaelic, giving a little bounce for emphasis. “Me, too?”

He took a moment to simply marvel. The boy didn’t always choose to speak, but when he did, it never failed to surprise Jamie how much he truly understood of the action swirling about over his head. And to reply to English with Gaelic, forbye! Perhaps it shouldn’t be shocking, seeing as how Ian had been hearing it spoken since birth, but Lord, his pronunciation was near perfect as he begged, “Go, too, Daddy?”

“Ye want to come wi’ Da to see the horses, jo?” (in English, for Claire’s sake).

Ian nodded once and beamed, raising his hands expectantly and switching languages without missing a beat. “Go-’IF!”

Jamie gripped Ian’s wrists and let the lad climb up his front like a mountaineer, grinning as broadly as he. “Go we shall, then!”

“But, shouldn’t–? Jesus H. Christ, I can’t believe I’m asking this, with the chance at a 50% less chaotic day on offer,” Claire laughed, coming to stand with them and rumple Ian’s hair, “but won’t he be in your way?”

“This wee face?” he said, kissing it. “Nay, never.”

—-

It might well be, in actual fact, Jamie admitted as he set the pair off them off for Fernacre. A child of sixteen months was never a simple matter, even as one as generally agreeable as Ian, but having the lad with him was well worth a bit of disruption here and there.

It wasn’t simply Ian’s acuity that had startled him earlier, but that the lad had asked to go with Da. With him.

His heart melted afresh as he thought on it, as he felt Ian’s head, warm and heavy against his hip.

Naturally, the singular bond with Claire had stayed strong, even past the time he was weaned. Many was the occasion that Ian would suddenly turn from Jamie and wail for her, entirely inconsolable until he might cry against her shoulder and be soothed by her hands, her voice.

There was nothing malicious in the preference, of course. Brianna was a never-ceasing demander of energies and was always happy to fill any vacancy left by her brother. Besides, Jamie could see the wee one’s point, for he likewise had a very strong desire to be held by Claire at all times.

Even so, being singled out himself by the lad was yet new enough that it sent a warm, silly thrill through his chest each time, almost like being a schoolboy again: happily heartsick over his attentions being returned.

“And if it’s no’ being in love,” he murmured as he slowed the car, palm atop the boy’s head, “I haven’t the faintest idea.”

“We-heer?” Ian exclaimed, coming to life and nearly toppling over as he tried to stand on the seat mid-parking. ‘We-heer?”

Scooping him up with one arm, Jamie stepped out into the chill. “Aye, here!” He bent to set Ian down, remembering the great bag of diapering supplies, food, and toys in the back seat. “Off ye g—”

“Nooooo!” The boy turned violently legless, twisting impressively to avoid touching the ground.

“Ian, ye–”

“Hoam-me!”

“Do ye no’ want to walk on your own feet like a big boy?” He already kent well the answer.

His brown-haired lad gave an uncanny impression of Claire’s ‘don’t talk nonsense’ face. “HOAM-me.”

A Sucker he was, wi’ no hope for it whatsoever. He chuckled and sighed, hoisting the lad up higher. “Today you win, joey.”

Strange, thinking back now, that he’d gone the first quarter-century of life knowing nothing of Kangaroos.

He’d first learnt the odd word in the days when his appetite for knowledge of the centuries missed had made trips to the library a near-daily event. Australia— what a wonder that place seemed to him! All that vast expanse, filled with such uncanny creatures. A nightmarish beast, this one had looked from the illustration: like a man-sized hare with a great, thick tail, tapering like a lizard’s; eerily man-like in the arms and chest, capable of leaping thirty feet in one bound before kicking one’s teeth in.

Still, a softer recollection had come straightaway to mind later, when Claire began to carry Ian about the house in a sling on her front. Jenny, too, had worn her bairns, wrapped in a shawl on her back, yet there was something all the more intimate in seeing mother and child nestled chest-to-chest amid the mundane tasks of the day; seeing Claire wrap her arms around him with utter tenderness, whispering soft love; the babe dozing as she worked and moved about, warm and safe in the comfort of her heartbeat, just as he had been in the womb.

Both the nickname and the love of being cuddled had stuck, and it was only sight of the horses of Barn A that coaxed Jamie’s little marsupial down. True-to-form, he hit the stable floor with a hop.

Jamie made quick inspection of his four-footed charges. No need for mucking out, God be praised; just feeding, watering, and a bit of love for each. He began making his way down the first aisle of eight, Ian toddling along to watch, full of quiet wonder.

It had been some time since he’d gotten to be alone–mostly alone– with the horses. Nearly all his working days were spent in the paddocks, training the young or new ones; coaching the riders on how they might better work in harmony with the being beneath them. He loved it, took such pride and joy in witnessing the excitement of human and beast alike as they improved, as they bonded.

Yet it brought his heart a different sort of joy, the quieter sort, to be in the stables on a still morning such as this, gentle mist seeming to soften the hard edges of world and word.

They soon reached the last stall on the eastern side. “How goes it, a nighean?” he crooned to Cornflower, who knocked her snout into his shoulder in companionable greeting.

“Pat him?” Ian asked in the same language, honey-eyes glowing.

“Aye, ye can pat *her.*”

Lifted high, Ian gingerly reached out to touch the mighty neck.

“Morning, Jamie!”

“The same to you!”

He turned them to face Tom, who was coming through the door with two steaming cups.“HEY! Look who came to help his Papa out! Jeez, Jamie, when did he get so darn tall?”

“Tis our constant question, as well!” He set Ian atop a stack of hay bales by Corny’s door and gratefully reached to take the mug.

Tom winked at Ian. “How you doing today, little man?”

“Hiii,” was all Ian said before covering his face so nothing save grinning eyes showed between hat and mittens.

God bless Tom Harper, Jamie prayed sincerely as they sipped and chatted, discussing business, the children, all the usual things. Of all the people in his new life, it was Tom that minded him most of Murtagh: always near, always willing, always irreverant, yet always looking after ye from afar. It wasn’t often he thought of it: but knowing that Tom was only ever a call away should emergency strike or counsel be needed of one with more years of experience in the world was an immense comfort, more than Jamie could ever truly express to the man.

A jubilant shriek erupted from behind them.

Ian had descended the hay bales and was now right underneath Cornflower’s stall, head thrown back, both hands reaching up to touch–

“IAN, STO–”

“Mmmm-wah!” Ian kissed the fuzzy snout, right in the spot between the heaving nostrils. He bounced on his heels, chirped ‘Bye!!’ to her in Gaelic, then ran toward the next stall.

Jamie crossed the space in two leaps to yank him backward….but of all the wonders, Hector was already at the front of the stall in response to Ian’s command.

“What’d he say??” Tom whispered.

“He said, ‘Come here.’”

“Whoa….”

The horse had lowered his neck, inspecting Ian judiciously. Jamie kept both hands around the boy’s ribs, half-crouched in readiness to rip him away at the slightest sign of danger….but as though by magic, Hector nudged his snout deliberately into Ian’s outstretched hands with a tiny nicker, getting an enchanting giggle and kiss in return.

“Christ in Heaven…..”

Tom hooted. “I. will. be. DAMNED!!”

Jamie discovered both that his mouth had fallen open and that his son was already in front of the next stall, charming his mark. He and Tom stayed close, heart still thudding in terror of the inevitable crushed finger or nip on the face, but no…. one by one, each horse willingly lowered their nose for a kiss.

It wasn’t just heedless affection young Ian radiated: it was instinct, too. For, when Bard put back his ears and snorted, the lad took a tidy step backward, not offended in the slightest. He only gave the brute a cheery wave and moved on to find his next sweetheart.

“Well done, a bhalaich!” he laughed, giving the lad a squeeze.

“Fanks!” Ian wriggled out without a backward glance, intent on his mission.

Tom groaned as he settled onto a bench, beckoning Jamie to do the same. “So little Ian takes to horses a bit more naturally than Brianna, huh?”

“Aye…” Jamie exhaled heavily, allowing himself to sit and relax. “He’s got a way about him.”

Tom resumed sipping his coffee (Jamie’s somewhere on the floor), watching Ian and chuckling. “You do crank out some damned cute kiddos, Jamie.”

“I do have a damned cute wife.”

They laughed and Jamie’s mind wandered, even as they continued to chat, even as he kept Ian in the corner of his vision.

Strange, no? How bairns can be so similar in some ways and yet so different in others. Bree, with her warrior spirit, indomitable, was nearly as frightened of horses now as the first time he’d brought her here. This morning she had blamed the coat and the cold, but Jamie knew it was more to do with the great stomping hooves and enormous teeth. Never would she admit fear, of course. She would fluster and put on that wee glower he loved so well, but beneath it, the lass was petrified.

Contrast this with Ian, for all he might be the more quiet and cautious in life as a whole, who showed no fear whatsoever here in the stable. True, he had seen horses before, even ridden one on Jamie’s lap, so there was no factor of shock as there had been with Bree. Still… Strength and courage manifests to each of us in our own way. A comforting thought, in this ever-changing world, no? Unlike Jenny and Ian, he had not one clue how his children might spend their lives once grown, so many paths being available to them. It weighed heavily on him some days– but if they each find their strength, wheresoever it might lie, then surely they shall find their own prosperous path, as well….

Sounds of human and equine unease sent his head whipping round. Merlin, one of the younger horses of this bunch, was standing in the window with no apparent intent to lower his head. Ian was grunting, jumping up and down to get the laddie’s attention with a persistent, “Hiii? HIIIII???” on repeat.

“He may no’ wish to talk just now, Ian.”

The boy whirled eagerly and pointed back up over his shoulder. “Up, Da?” Without waiting for an answer, he sprinted over, eyes bright with urgency. “Da, Up! Up, ‘kay?”

“I think you’d better pick him up, Jamie, before he blows a gasket,” groaned Tom as he stood, heading toward to door to continue his day.

“Take it easy, Tom,” he called.

“You do the same!”

“Daaaaa, UPPP???“

He heard Tom’s infectious laugh vanish into the distance.

–

“Easy now,” he murmured to the horse in Gaelic as they approached, reaching out his free hand to carefully rub the long, white neck. Merlin blew out through his nostrils. “Aye, I ken, your wizardship, ‘tis a bit unconventional, but the wee thing just wants to say hello, aye? Can ye find it in your heart?”

“No scary,” Ian promised.

With sudden inspiration, Jamie rifled in his coat pocket and held out the contents to the wary brute. “And what say ye now, friend?”

Merlin held back a moment for dignity, then descended upon his treat.

“W’ ‘is ‘it?” demanded Ian, back to English in his curiosity.

“Give me your hand—“ Jamie pulled the mitten off with his teeth. “Cup your fingers like a wee bowl, aye?”

Ian peered into his palm.“…..’Is ‘at, Daddy?”

“'Tis a sugar cube. Shall we see if he’d like some more?”

Ian’s eyes lit up and he swiveled around toward the horse so suddenly he dropped the cube. Once resupplied, he held his arm out at full length, bellowing, “Hiiiii!”

Ian squealed in delight as the huge lips and teeth explored his hand. “Mooorr-Da!”

Many, many sugar cubes later, Jamie crouched to set Ian on his feet, but the lad flung his arms about Jamie’s neck with an insistent “Nnnhhhh!”

“Christ, you’re truly naught but a barnacle wi’ legs!” Jamie gave up, kissing the boy’s capped head. “If I ever thought your sister was a cuddly sort, there was no fathoming what was to come, wee jo.”

“Moor-coops?” Ian asked, popping up to search Jamie’s face.

Jamie checked his pocket, coming up with one last sugar cube. Ian didn’t miss a beat. He took it between his fingers, said ‘Heer-Da,’ and pressed it firmly against Jamie’s lips.

“You’re a sweet one, a chuisle,” Jamie said, crunching the sugar and kissing the hand. “And you’re lucky the horses didna chomp all your wee fingers off—!!”

Ian squealed as Jamie made play of gobbling them up, his little belly shaking with giggles so deep he began turning red.

“Allllllright, lad,” Jamie soothed after a time, before the lad exploded, “we’d best be going.”

“Go home?”

“Nay, no’ until later. We have three more barns to check, yet. Let’s hope ye have enough kisses left in ye.”

He did.

#Anonymous #Flood my mornings #FMM Chapter 73 #;mod Bonnie

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goldenchildlynn · 5 years ago

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hushed || thanksgiving self para

WHO: Ryder Lynn, Oliver Lynn, Maria Lynn, various family members, mentions of Rachel Berry, Bree Brown, Santana Lopez, Finn Hudson, Sam Evans, Hunter Clarington. WHERE: Lynn Residence, Castleport. WHEN: Thanksgiving Day

@basicallybree @snixxem @inkedsevans @castleporthudson @hcclarington

Well, this would be fun.

Holidays at the Lynn residence was a typically get together, his mother hard at work in the kitchen, his younger cousins putting up the place mats, some cinnamon and vanilla type of candle burning with the mixture of fresh cooked, home made meals lingering in the air. It was nostalgic in a way, bringing him back to times when he was younger, when things weren’t weighing on his shoulders like boulders. Instead of worrying about getting his Thanksgiving outfit dirty from rough housing outside with his cousins, now he was worrying about the death of a close friend and the way he possibly ruined someone he cared about’s life by being a stupid, impulsive idiot and kissing her while she was married. Sam was right, he was acting like an idiot, but he couldn’t bring himself to just stop the way he felt. The only thing he could do was distance himself, to let her breathe...even if he wanted to be the one to help her to her feet.

What kind of fucked up television show had he fallen into.

That, and seeing his father try and be all cheery on the Holiday, acting like he cared about his family as he helped his mother in the kitchen with the turkey he’d worked on all day...it made his stomach churn as he just tried to keep his eyes on the television as preseason for football was beginning. That note, the one that exposed his father for the cheating piece of shit husband he was, still was tucked away in his wallet. The proof was in the pudding, or email that had all the information he needed, and when he wrote to his father they needed to talk, he avoided his son like the plague. It was typical, his dad couldn’t own up when he was cornered. But he couldn’t hide from him for long, and Ryder kept that in mind as he pretended to focus on the TV until one of his random family members came up and started chatting about sports. As usual.

Soon enough, everyone was gathered around the table, and they had to say prayer. But Ryder found it hard to keep his eyes closed, because he was beyond exhausted. He wondered what everyone else was doing, what Bree was doing on her first Holiday alone with her family in ages, what Santana was doing with her mom after the shift in leads for the Rachel case, what Hunter was doing...he really needed to see Hunter soon, maybe he would after he snuck away after the dishes were done. When the thankful speeches began to go around the table, his father of course stood up to start, raising a glass of bourbon before beginning to speak of how thankful he was for his health, for having the family together, and then he looked across the table at Ryder.

“....and for my son, and his bright future in the NFL. You always know how to make me proud son, and I really, really hope you can keep that up. It’d be a shame if you messed up somehow---” He started before pausing, starting to laugh as if he was kidding, family members chiming in, “But you got your youth, which is more than I can say, am I right?” He motioned to the other older males at the table, all joining in with laughter while Ryder forced a smile. But his father’s glare was all too knowing, a warning almost to not run his mouth, because his father had dirt on him. Just as Ryder had dirt on his father.

Then it got around to Ryder in the circle, and he stood up, grabbing the glass of red wine his mother had poured him and raising it. “I’m thankful for my lovely, beautiful mother for making this feast, along with you Aunt Helen, the corn casserole is amazing...” He began light heartedly, clearing his throat before nodding his head, “I’m also thankful for second chances, for being a man when faced with adversity and hardship, for being....loyal to the ones I love. Because at the end of the day, if you aren’t loyal and genuine with those you care for, then those you care for will all disappear. One by one.” His gaze drifted over to his father, who was now shooting him an all too knowing look as he took a large swig of the dark liquor in his glass, “To loyalty.” And everyone echoed, laughing along, clinking their glasses before Ryder nodded and sat down, almost downing half the wine in his glass.

Soon the food was finished, and as he made his way to the kitchen to help with the dishes, he felt a hand grab his arm, “Ryder, a moment of your time please. I need help with something in the garage.” It was the deep voice of his father, and he sighed as he glanced over to him, not wanting to cause a scene in front of his family so he followed him to the back hall away from the crowd. Instantly, his father gave him a light shove to the wall behind him, it wasn’t the first time his father put hands on him. Even though he was older, Oliver Lynn was still in decent shape and was a tall, threatening force. And it wasn’t like Ryder would ever lay a hand on his own father anyways, it was a lose lose situation, all for the sake of his mother. “That stunt you pulled at the dinner table was unacceptable.”

Laughing under his breath, he shook his head, “You’re joking right? You want to talk about unacceptable, how about we talk about how you’re FUCKING Mrs. Motta-” And then were was his father stepping forward, getting in his space, making Ryder feel small.

“You don’t want to get involved in my personal business, son. I assure you that, if you do, I won’t be so willing to protect all the fuck ups you get into. And, last that I heard, you seem to also have a thing for married women. A man from my office said he saw you kissing Bree Brown a few months ago...and now she’s getting divorced? Seems rather convenient.” Pausing, his father noticed the way his son’s demeanor changed upon topic of the conversation, and he smirked, “Trust me, you don’t want to turn your back on me and ruin this family. It’s the only thing that is keeping you together, your career, everything. I’m the one person that can make your problems go away, to keep your image clean, don’t fuck that up. Or else you’ll just be able wannabe player who never got their real shot.”

Ryder felt his fists clutched by his sides, jaw clenched hard enough to see the bone stick out and he nodded, “Right. But don’t expect me to fucking defend you when all your dirty laundry eventually gets out. Mom deserves better than your bullshit.” He muttered, shaking his head before shouldering past his father and quickly making his way to the living room, breathing deep as he silently made his way to the dishes and began working. His mother instantly noting the way her son’s demeanor changed and coming up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist.

“I love you son, you know that?” She murmured into his strong shoulder, and he took a deep breath, trying to blink back the way his eyes fogged up with tears, keeping his face to the sink as he nodded.

“I know ma.....I love you too.”

#thanksgiving.#cporttask #self para.

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the-fandom-abyss · 6 years ago

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Personal Stuff That Nobody Wants To Know

(I was tagged by @chonisbestmistake)

Nicknames: Bree or Breezy

Zodiac: Aries

Height: 165 cm, 5’4 I think?

Time: 5:54pm

Favourite band/artist: Little Mix, Fifth Harmony, Paramore, Demi Lovato, Halsey and so much more

Song stuck in my head: The Cure by Little Mix

Last movie I saw: Christmas with the Kranks

Last thing I googled: Facebook

Other blogs: a-d-e-l-p-h-i.tumblr.com

Do I get asks: Not really but I’m always here if you want to request or have a chat!

Why I chose this username: Because this is literally the abyss of lots of fandoms

Following: 607 wonderful accounts

Average amount of sleep: 7 hours on average

What I’m wearing: My work uniform

Dream job: To be an actress but don’t have the skills 😂

Dream trip: Disneyland, obviously

Favourite food: Garlic bread!

Play any instruments: Nope

Hair colour: Light brown

Languages you speak: English

Most iconic song: Misery Business by Paramore

Random fact: I can make a clover with my tongue

Describe yourself as aesthetic things:

Hot chocolate with marshmallows, rainbow sprinkles and notebooks full of stories

I Tag:

@wlw-lesbianimagines, @therealbucky05, @sarah-paulson-is-supreme, @cordeliasflowergirl, @fragile-multifandom0106

#personal

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livejasmin-sexchat · 3 years ago

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Nanami Bree

Nanami Bree NanamiBree is a curvy white, 18 old female, with long brown hair, has brown eyes and a normal breast size. NanamiBree speaks english and likes dancing, roleplay, deepthroat, footsex and snapshot.https://www.livejasmin-sexchat.ch/livesexcams/NanamiBree Jasmin sex chat xxx Nanami Bree

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league-of-light · 6 years ago

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Week 4 Pick’em

Look, I know I’m late on the picks this week. I wanted to get them in yesterday, but other things came up and I didn’t get to it. I’m sorry, ok? To make up for it, I have written quite the long pick’em for this week. I’m not entirely sure if I will be able to make them this long every week, but I think I should be able to.

Why would I spend all this time writing the pick’em? Great question. Isn’t there a more productive use of your time? Probably. Will, you’re moving next week, shouldn’t you be packing or something? Are you just spending way more time writing picks as a means to delay the inevitable anxiety you’re going to feel about starting a new job and moving? Do you think this is the healthiest way to deal with that? Psh, you’re not my therapist.

Anyway, here goes

Yerboi vs Brenner? I hardly know’er

This Will vs. Brenner bout, should be promotionally billed as “Chronically Injured and Underperforming” vs “Complete Lineup Ineptitude”. Both teams come into Week 3 at a resounding 0-2, and are looking to get their season on track after some of high profile trades in the first couple weeks of the season.

There are always big expectations when you make a trade in Fantasy Football. Typically speaking, you hope and expect that the players you got are going to outperform whomever you traded away (or at the very least perform somewhat similarly). Unfortunately, that won’t always be the case. Sometimes there are weeks like last week, where JuJu outscored T.Y. Hilton and I am forced to sit there and reflect on how I would have won if I just kept JuJu. Other times, there are weeks like this week, where Brenner ensures he doesn’t have to deal with the emotional trauma of a trade gone awry because he benches the players he traded for. (No there aren’t, this literally never happens)

I pick myself, simply because I don’t think I’ve actually ever seen a team projected to score as few points as Brenner.

Story To Watch: How quickly it will take Drew Brees to score more than the 3 points Brenner got from Tyrod Taylor. My guess is 4 plays.

Tangiphil vs Hewie and the Hashslingers

After a fairly explosive first week of the season, we can all finally exhale — Phil’s team is bad again. Shockingly, his 3-headed Running Back Monster is down a head. Unlike the legend of the Hydra, instead of another head growing in it’s place, Phil decided to chase last week’s bench points and play Nelson Agholor. If you check his bench this week you may notice Joe Mixon outside of the IR slot, Isaiah Crowell’s wasted 18 point TNF total, and another Jets receiver. That’s right folks, it’s week 3 and Phil is already in midseason form.

But enough about Phil. Steve is 2-0 and I expect his win streak to continue this week. In my humble opinion, his team is underprojected with only 98 points, as Big Ben, Melvin Gordon, and Marvin Jones all look poised to be playing catchup in potentially high scoring games. Look for Steve to hopefully rise in the power rankings after squashing Phil.

Story To Watch: He may be the second head of a three two-headed running back monstrosity, but Adrian Peterson is going to look more like Mike Wazowski than James P. Sullivan this week. The Packers offense comes to FedEx Field with an offense that looks like two-day expedited shipping, while the Redskins offense has been looking like the Pony Express. Game script gets away from the ‘Skins and they abandon the run.

Kyle vs Sean

Close to half of this league isn’t from Rockland, so I’m going to use this opportunity to tell a story. To the hometown heroes - some of the overarching details may be incorrect, but I don’t care I have the talking stick. If you want accuracy you can write the damn blog post next week. Anyway, in sixth grade every middle school student has to take World History. The curriculum is geared towards ancient civilizations, and a decent chunk of time is spent on Egypt. As such, every year there was (is?, not sure if they still do it) a grade-wide Egypt project where students had to use their knowledge of Egypt, make something, and showcase it to the class. Think of it like a science fair, but with crappy Egyptian dioramas instead of baking soda volcanoes. Since I was a bright eyed ambitious young man who loved art and mythology, I knew I would do great on this project. I chose the ambitious task of making a sculpture of Horus, the Falcon-headed man prince of the Egyptian pantheon. It wasn’t long before I realized my doodling skills didn’t translate well into making 3D models, but I was in far too deep. I molded the clay as best I could, and then “accidentally” left it in the oven too long so it burned to a crisp and was nearly unidentifiable. Needless to say, I didn’t do very well on that project.

Why am I telling you this? Because look at Sean’s team. Does it look real good on paper? Sure. Does that mean he is likely going to win this week? Probably. But has his overconfidence blinded him into creating a team made of glass with absolutely no depth in a 16-team league? 67%, yes. (Because that is the grade I got on the project.)

Story to Watch: Alex Collins has become the running back equivalent of Hillary Swank. Hot or not? Stay tuned this week and find out…

You Guys Again vs. Johnson Ertz

The moment you’ve all been waiting for is here folks. I…..I can’t believe it’s finally happening. After almost two full years, the day has finally come. Dylan Feldman vs. Dylan Costa are facing off in a fantasy football matchup which I am officially dubbing “The Battle for the Right to be Called Dylan in the Fantasy Football League Group Chat” (and since we love our acronyms here, aka TB4TR2BCDITFFLGC). Two Dylans enter, only one Dylan leaves. This matchup is arguably one of the most important matchups we have ever seen in this league, and has a chance to change the history books forever.

Unfortunately for Dylan Costa, his squad isn’t exactly striking fear into anyone these days. I’ll have to go with Dylan Feldman, but his lineup has more red letters than Hester Prynne after an all weekend slumber party at Arthur Dimmesdale’s Dimmesdale Dimmahome.

Story to Watch: With the return of Aaron “I smoke Marijuana so Bowers thinks I’m a bad person” Jones coming back to Green Bay, Jamaal Williams’ usage should be monitored. As the kids say, he hasn’t been very good over the past two weeks, and Aaron Jones is ready to come in blazing *~!420!~*

Bearkley vs. Watch Me

Imagine my shock when I saw I won the bidding war for Ryan Fitzpatrick. I immediately rushed to find the owners of the Tampa Bay WRs so I could celebrate our good fortune as Fitzmagic showers us all with fantasy points. Now imagine my shock when I saw Samantha has benched Chris Godwin, not only a rookie (we all know my irrational hype with rookies), but a rookie whose name is lit a combination of God and Win. I don’t know about you, but doesn’t it feel like Samantha has renounced God and doesn’t want to win this week’s matchup?

On the flipside, Nico runs our Dungeons and Dragons group, and if the 80s taught me anything it’s don’t feed weird aliens after midnight, and that D&D is for devil worshipping heathens. With any hope of good Christian fun squandered for this matchup, it really is anybody’s game. I want to believe in the underdog, but more favorable matchups lead me to believe that Nico will pull out the W.

Story to Watch: Saquon Barkley caught 2 of 6 targets week 1 against the Jags. That number increased to 14 of 16 targets last week as Eli Manning completely lost interest in holding on to the football for more than 1 second. Is it possible that Saquon receives 28 targets this game as Eli Manning has to look JJ Watt and Jadaveon Clowney in the eyes?

Washington vs. Walshington

I want to take a second here and pour one out for Walsh, who didn’t answer my trade offer or my text message regarding Dalvin Cook and Allen Robinson. Walsh, you took an injury bullet for me and I will forever be grateful. It’s appropriate that I mention taking a bullet, because rumors have it Frank Gore was actually there when the first metal bullet was shot in 1425. Between Gore and Kerryon Johnson, Walsh will be lucky if he gets 14.25 points from his running backs this week.

Andy surprisingly continues to ride or die with Andrew Luck, despite Luck being unable to throw the football more than 15 yards. At this point I assume he is just taunting Arielle with Bortles on his bench, and we have to assume that if Bortles continues putting up 30 point games, eventually Andy might start him. The biggest story on this squad is how Andy managed to get two of the best big play boom or bust WRs with John Brown and Will Fuller, while also having Amari Cooper and Mike Evans. That’s a solid receiving core you got there pal, and I just want you to know I see it and appreciate it.

Story To Watch: C’mon, it’s Philip Lindsay. Every week it’s Philip Lindsay. Everyone loves a hometown hero and I have greatly enjoyed watching this kid ball out.

Bowers v Arielle

I’m high on Dylan Leone Arielle’s team this year. How could you not be? It was drafted by a man who has $45,000 in fantasy football great young woman who has shown her commitment to the league. For whatever reason, ESPN’s site stopped working just as I was going to look at this matchup, so unfortunately I am going to have to give an abridged write up of my pick. I have played these teams back to back so you would assume I know who is on their rosters, but I can’t remember anything other than Russell Wilson and James Conner on Arielle’s team, and Golden Tate and Kirk Cousins on Bowers’.

Based on this limited memory alone, I suppose I am going to pick Bowers in what will likely be another close matchup for the Reikland Reavers

Story to Watch: The story of life as I take this momentary absence from ESPN’s Fantasy Football to reflect on the finer things in the world. Like Yahoo Fantasy Football.

Jason v Harnsowl

ESPN is still not working for me, neither on my phone nor my computer, so I can’t really give much analysis here. However, not much analysis is needed. Unlike his godless sister, Jason is a man of faith. And if George Michaels taught us anything, it’s that you gotta have faith. You gotta have faith, faith, faith. Carson Wentz returns this week and I don’t care whoever Harnsowl is playing, it doesn’t really matter. I mean, as far as the matchup is concerned it might matter, but emotionally speaking, Jason has already won this week.

I can’t be expected to pick a winner in a matchup that already has a winner, so instead I’ll take this time to remind you to spay or neuter your pets. Bob Barker used to do a fantastic job of reminding the American people to do so, and if I am being completely honest I just don’t think Drew Carey delivers the message with the same panache. Like sure, I know Drew still says it at the end of the show, but does he really even believe it? Only Drew can really answer that question, but if I had to guess I would bet $100 $101 Drew. While we’re on the topic, if any of you ever manage to go on Price is Right and you do that thing where you bid one dollar higher than someone else did, you can consider our friendship over. Not only is it the worst strategy ever, it’s also rude as hell to the other contestant. In some cases I’m sure the people legitimately don’t know what to bet after someone else bet around the same thing they did, but for the love of God at least bet like $10 higher so there is some tension in the room.

But yeah, back to football, I pick Jason

Story to Watch: The next episode of Price is Right, Monday September 24th

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